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fortheloveoffanfic · 10 months ago

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Prettier When You're Mine

Andy Barber x Reader

Author's Note: Slowly trying to finish a few of these ongoing stories.

Summary: One year into working with a young, bright and beautiful junior prosecutor, Y/n, who bears an almost uncanny resemblance to Andy’s late wife, Laurie, he finds himself developing feelings for her. Though, when she brushes off his advances, Andy proves that he’ll do whatever it takes to recreate his family.

Disclaimer: 18+ This work contains dark themes, including stalking, dub-con, infidelity and manipulation. Read at your own discretion.

Masterlist Playlist Chapter 5

Chapter 6

A trip to Andy's house to reclaim her lost ring causes tension between Y/n and James, and unveils some dark truths. Warning: dubious consent, SMUT/NSFW, coerced/forced sex. Please do not read if you are even remotely uncomfortable with any of these warnings.

Dumping the contents of her bag on the kitchen counter, Y/n hastily sifted through it. Compact, cell phone, a couple pens, a packet of tissues, wallet, loose change and no ring. “Shit, shit, shit,” she swore under her breath, on the verge of tears. It hadn’t been anywhere that she'd looked, not in her office, her coat pocket or even in the damn coffee cup she’d checked on a whim. Calls to the doctor’s office and the bus station as well as a visit to the coffee shop and the place that she’d bought lunch had also been completely unhelpful and Y/n was beginning to fear that the ring was gone for good.

But it couldn’t be, not James’ mother’s ring. Precious family heirloom and the first material sign that she’d been accepted into their fold.

For the millionth time that day, Y/n found herself asking; why me? Was it because she’d almost been willing to let things go too far with Andy? Because part of her wanted them to? Or was it because she’d gotten herself in a self-pitying funk over something she was supposed to have made peace with?

Was it a sign that she simply didn’t deserve a man like James?

Standing in the middle of their loft’s small kitchen, she didn’t feel like she did. Because how could she be deserving of him and still spend rare, private moments fantasizing about her boss- who had proven himself to be just like any other jerk in a position of authority.

In retrospect, she should have seen the signs; his penchant for initiating physical contact, his apparent desire to know her on a personal level, his insistence that they work together. She couldn’t believe she actually thought he just saw potential in her- no strings, no expectations.

“Babe?” Hearing the bathroom door open, Y/n worked quickly to clumsily repack everything into her handbag. She hadn’t told James that she’d lost the ring, and had spent the entire car ride home trying to hide her left hand.

“Yeah?” Y/n’s head snapped up and her frenzied gazed noted James standing near the foot of their bed, wrapped only on a towel, with his skin still damp and his hair dripping. “What?” Then, hearing the haste in her tone, she cleared her throat and tried again, “I mean….what’s up?”

James’ lips fell again and he stuttered before continuing, “I was just gonna ask if you wanted to get Chinese,” he padded barefoot across the wood floor, “But I think I can ask you the same question.”

“If I wanna get Chinese….?”

“What’s up?” He quoted with emphasis, “Or better way; are you okay?”

Sneaking a cautionary glance at her hand, Y/n dropped it at her side and didn’t dare make a move towards James. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

Not believing her for a second, James shook his head and made the final steps towards her, rounding the kitchen counter so he could lay his wet hands on her shoulders, “No you’re not." He searched her teary eyes, worry pooling in his, “Did something happen at the doctor's?”

Sniffling as slow tears trickled down her cheeks, “I’ve just had a really rough day,” her voice broke pitifully and James didn’t miss another beat before pulling her against his chest. One hand cradled the back of her head while the other fell to the small off her back, and as she clung to his waist, she finally let a couple sobs break through.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He probed gently.

How was she supposed to tell him that she was irrationally insecure about them never being able to convince? Or that Andy had come onto her in a moment of vulnerability. Or that she'd lost his mother's ring.

"No," she whimpered, "Not yet. I just wanna….I just want to forget the whole thing." Forget that she'd always secretly want something she would never have. Forget that she'd lost a very expensive and precious symbol of their union.

Forget that she was still thinking about what would have happened if she'd been brave enough to give in when Andy had come on to her.

Forget that she was above betraying the man she loved.

“Alright,” James murmured, kissing the crown of her head, “Well we don’t have to until you’re ready,” he added, lips still pressed to her hair. He was so good, so patient and she loved that.

Andy was so brooding and dangerous, she liked that.

Hugging James tighter, Y/n squeezed her eyes shut and tried to regulate her breaths; she didn’t deserve to cry about it when she’d come so close to acting on selfish impulse. They might have stayed like that for a while, if it were for her phone ringing loudly from where it sat on the counter. Sniffling loudly, Y/n pulled away and brushed her tears away with the sides of her fingers, “I should….” Trailing off, she moved towards the phone, sluming her shoulders when she saw Andy’s name on the screen, “Its my boss,” she reported sullenly.

Coming to stand behind her, James rested his hand on her shoulder, “Just let it go to voicemail.”

Y/n sighed, “Its not that easy.”

“You don’t owe him anything,” James reminded before letting go of a heavy breath and reluctantly adding, “But if you feel like you need to then, I can’t stop you.”

As James retracted his hand and started walking away, Y/n looked at Andy’s name on the screen and frowned as she glanced back up at her fiancee, “Don’t be mad, please.”

“Not mad,” he said, not looking at her as he tugged one of his drawers open, pulling out a pair of sweatpants, “Just….I’m worried about you, okay? This guy keeps you at the office at these weird hours and then today you come home crying.”

“What happened today has nothing to do with, Andy,” she lied, “He…he tried to help-”

“So you told him what was wrong but you didn’t tell me?” James knitted his brows, stepping behind the bamboo privacy screen that they kept near their wardrobe to get changed.

By then her phone had stopped ringing and the screen had faded to black, “That’s not….I didn’t tell him. I was really vague about it-”

“Yeah, well all I got was you had a rough day,” stepping out from behind the screen in low riding sweats and a t-shirt, James moved to hang his towel on a rack they kept next to the bathroom door.

“I…its complicated,” just then, her phone started ringing again, the urgency evident in the blaring tone, “I really have to take this,” Y/n snatched her phone off the counter and swiped the green icon. “Hey, what’s up?” Y/n answered cooly, defiantly matching eyes with James, whose gaze had hardened.

“I have something that I think belongs to you.”

Knitting her brows, Y/n stuttered, “What?”

“Three carats-”

“You have it,” Y/n gasped; she must have lost it in the haste to vacate his office, everything had been so jumbled and messy, from her feelings at the time to the physical situation.

“Yeah. Why don’t you come by and get it?”

Turning away so her back would be to James, Y/n drew in what she hoped would be a calming breath, “You’ve had it all day and said nothing?” She hissed as quietly as possible.

“Well, let’s not get accusatory.”

“God,” Y/n suspired, “Are you at the office?”

“Of course not,” Andy sounded amused by the whole situation, like he was baiting her, and it made Y/n’s blood boil. “You should come get it, tonight. Wouldn’t want James to think you’re trying to seem like an available woman.”

Exasperated, Y/n sighed, “Yeah, well, I don’t know where you live.”

“I’ll send you the address now,” she heard the phone moving on his end of the line and then less than a minute later, her phone pinged with an incoming text. “See you soon, sweetheart.”

There was that name again, that involuntary thrill up her spine.

Without another word, Y/n hung up and turned to James who was looking at her expectantly. “I have to go, some stuff came up late in discovery and its a lot so we’d have to start going through tonight to finish in time for Thursday.”

She wasn’t sure if James believed her, but he did play along, “Alright, well you should take the car,” he suggested and she was grateful that he didn’t offer to drive her.

“Yeah,” he nodded, approaching her once more, that time grabbing the keys off the coffee table and pressing it into her hands from over the counter, “Go do your job, we’ll talk when you get back.”

Leaning over, Y/n smiled tightly and reached to cup his cheek with her free hand, “I love you,” she kissed him briefly, hoping to chisel away some of the lingering tension.

James hummed softly, “Yeah, I know, I love you too.” When they broke, she grabbed her bag and coat quickly and hurried out of the apartment, letting a slow breath vacate her lips when she pulled the door shut behind herself; caught between being excited to see Andy again and combating worry over what would happen when they did.

Stuffing the hand with the car keys into the pocket of her camel coat, Y/n inhaled deeply before bringing her fist to Andy’s front door. His house was nice, it was one of the first thoughts she had upon pulling up at the curb; it was kind of like the one she had in her mind when she thought about the perfect place to live; big enough to comfortably raise a family with a gable roof and big windows that made you wonder what was happening inside. It looked like something out of HGTV or one of those home and garden magazines- sweet and picturesque.

“You came,” Andy determined when the door swung open. He was still half dressed from work; sleeves of his navy shirt rolled up to his elbows, black and blue tie from earlier gone and top two buttons of his shirt open.

“Yeah,” she squared her shoulders and straightened her back, “Well I want my ring.”

Andy smirked and Y/n ground her teeth, “Its upstairs, come in and I’ll get it for you.” Y/n couldn’t tell if it was an invitation or condition but Andy didn’t leave room for explanation, instead leaving her to follow him as he turned and delved further into the house.

The hall light was off, making the glow emanating from the kitchen up ahead to seem dim and ominous. Their shadows seemed bigger and in even in the low lighting Y/n could make out some of the framed photographs on the wall and she slowed down to see some of them. She recognized the people, a woman and a teenage boy, from the one personal picture that Andy had in his office- a small, family portrait taken on what she'd assumed was a taken at a beachy resort, contained in a shiny gold frame.

Mexico, he'd explained when he'd caught her staring once. The last vacation they'd taken before Laurie and Jacob's accident.

It must have been so hard for him to lose everything like that, especially since he had no other family. Worst yet, he was still a social pariah; the things she'd heard around the office were brutal and they seemed to follow him around like a dark cloud. It was why she'd tried to befriend him when they'd started working together, no one should be that alone.

But Andy had crossed a line.

Though, she hadn’t been very good at drawing one in the first place. Maybe she should have told him about James sooner. Maybe she didn’t want to.

When they finally broke off into the kitchen, Y/n stopped abruptly and folded her arms defensively. Andy didn’t head upstairs immediately, instead he poured two glasses from an open bottle on the dark veined marble counter. “I think you’ll like this one,” he offered her the glass.

Rolling her eyes, Y/n kept her arms folded, “I want my ring.”

“Have a drink,” Andy inched closer, causing Y/n to have to tip her chin to match his gaze. Swallowing a hitch breath, she tried to not react too much. He was so much bigger than her though, it was hard to keep the thrill contained. If the past couple months had taught her anything it was that there was a darkness that resided within Andy- behind the sad blue eyes and the strong silence was something akin to a tornado strong enough to rip an entire country to shreds.

Dangerous and violent.

And she liked it.

“I don’t want one,” she countered definitely, his proximity chipping her resolve away.

“I wasn’t asking, sweetheart,” Andy offered her the glass again, “Take it.” Reluctantly, Y/n relieved him of the glass but hesitated on taking a sip. Something might stir inside her when he was around, but it wasn’t trust. “Relax, I wouldn’t do that to you,” Y/n glared and in response, Andy downed his entire glass in one go, stepping away to fill it up again- that time a little more than the last. “See?” He took a generous swing, “I’m not that kind of guy,” he got close again, that time offering his glass for a toast, “To good men.”

She’d called him a good man, that had aged pretty badly.

“To good men,” she retorted sarcastically, taking a large sip of the wine. He was right, she did like it.

“Do you like it?” Y/n could have been wrong, maybe she had a little too much faith in him, but his question seemed genuine. Like he was eager to know if he’d made the right pick.

“Its alright,” the lie must not have been a very good one because Andy smirked. “I want my-”

“I know, finish your drink,” he gritted. Then, after polishing off his second glass at an alarming rate, Andy wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. With just the slightest stumble in his usually confident gait, he set the empty glass down with a thump and started walking towards the stairs, “I’ll go get you’re fucking ring,” he mummbled, leaving her downstairs without another word.

Not thinking much of it, she took periodic sips of the wine. It was good, and judging by the label, it must have cost upwards of a couple hundred dollars, but it wasn't particularly strong- definitely not strong enough to get a man of his size drunk after two glasses.

That was when she put it together; the slightest scent of liquor on his breath when he’d answered the door, his outwardly aggressive behavior, the way he’d swallowed the wine like it was water- Andy was already drunk. He’d probably been that way since he’d called earlier.

And he was obviously playing some kind of game with her. Laying a trap. Luring her to danger.

On heavy steps, Andy returned downstairs about five minutes later, prowling towards her and prompting Y/n to absently inch backwards into the wall. “Your ring,” he held it up with a little, wicked grin. She put her hand out for it, but Andy took it instead, turning it over so her palm would be face down. Their chests were inches apart at that point and he kept his darkened eyes matched with hers, presumably in a defiant act above all else, as he slid the ring back onto her finger. “All better?”

Clenching her jaw, Y/n tried to pull her hand away but Andy tightened his grip and lunged; within the second his lips were on hers. Reacting instinctively, she kissed him back- it was completely impulsive, submission to a primal desire. She could taste the mixture of liquors on his lips and his kiss could have been as inebriating as the poison he’d poured down his throat. She might have gotten drunk on him- she would have- But the minute she caught herself, deserting carnal yearning in favor of what was true and right, Y/n tried to use her free hand to shove him away.

But he wouldn’t budge.

Andy was solid, immovable. Like a gray stone wall or a bear boxing in its prey.

She could feel a bulge pressing into her lower stomach, making it hard to focus

“Stop,” she fought against his lips, a frustrated noise escaping her lips when grabbed the wrist of the hand she as using to push against his chest. “You need to stop,” Y/n struggled against his hungry lips. It doesn't matter that she actually doesn't want him to, that she'd traded hours of sleep for fantasies that looked just like that. A moment where they'd be alone and he'd do things to her that James might be scared to.

But none of that mattered- they were fantasies and she was engaged.

When she attempted to use her legs against him- knee him in the groin or kick him in the shin- Andy reacted swiftly positioned both his legs between hers, consequently pressing his crotch against her.

“No,” he easily positioned her hands over her head, closing his fingers in around her wrists and pinning them to the wall above her head, rendering her defenseless. “You want this,” Andy snarled into her mouth, hooking his now free hand around the back of her thigh, guiding it harshly to his hip. “Say you want this.”

Wiggling against frantically, Y/n tossed her head back, hitting it on the wall, as she tried to tear her lips from his. “No, get off me,” she protested, voice rising above a harsh warning.

Deserting her thigh, Andy brought his hand to her neck and held her like that for a moment, “We’re doing this,” he managed through gritted teeth, “I know you, you want this. All those nights we spent together, just the two of us. Everytime I asked you if you wanted to go home, what did you say?” He was squeezing her throat, applying enough pressure to limit airflow.

“N–no,” it was getting harder to breathe and speak, and her vision was dancing but something in the back of Y/n’s mind doubted that he genuinely wanted to hurt her, “I-I said….no.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re engaged?” He pulled her forward a little, only to slam her head into the wall again, though not hard enough to inflict any more damage than a sore spot.

“Exactly,” Andy hissed, “You said no. We went on a fucking date and you didn’t tell me you were engaged.”

Hot tears were racing down her paling cheeks and Andy was beginning to seem more and more like a blur. “Because,” she gasped, desperately trying to suck in some air, “I…” A hitched sob punctuated her words, “I….I didn’t want you to know.”

She really didn’t. It was wrong, misguided and shamefully selfish, but at some point, Y/n had thought that bringing up her engagement would ruin the closeness that she so enjoyed with Andy. She enjoyed being the only person he opened up to, in a way, it felt like he was hers and as long as she kept her relationship with James hidden, nothing would change.

“Exactly,” he growled, seeking her lips once more, “You’ve wanted me exactly the way I’ve wanted you since that first case.”

A broken sob fell into his mouth and Y/n occasionally found herself punctuating her failing resistance with sloppily returned kisses. “I don’t wanna do this,” she cried weakly, breaths short and throat dry, “You don’t wanna do this,” halfheartedly, she kissed the corner of his lips and tried to turn her face away again, “You’re drunk, this isn’t you.”

Pressing his forehead to hers, Andy chuckled and his grip on her neck loosened so he could flatten his hand on the top of her chest. She could feel the heat of his palm through the fabric of her dress as he dragged it slowly down her body, and as she got a clearer sense of where his hand was going, she was breathing quickly. “I promise you, sweetheart” he rasped, fingers creeping under the hem of her skirt, which had ridden up her thigh, “This is exactly me.”

Pushing aside the crotch off her underwear, Andy slipped two of his digits into her folds and started pumping slowly. “See?” He taunted in response to the slickness that had gathered there shortly after she’d felt his member pressing into her stomach. Try as she might, it was impossible to deny the effect that Andy had on her and she hated that she did want him- a man like him, who was proving to be worse than the rumors. She hated that the only reason she was resisting was because she didn't want to be branded as a cheater.

“You want this,” he coaxed, curling his fingers and extracting a sharp inhale, “Admit it sweetheart.”

Not because she loved her fiance- she did- but she didn’t want that love questioned. Not by Andy, not by herself.

But love and sex, they were different. She could love James and want Andy. It wasn't wrong, it was just human.

His beard grazed her skin, and the sensation coupled with her mounting arousal made a shiver run up her spine. “Please….” Her plea was teary, and Y/n wasn’t sure what she was begging for; for him to spare her the consequence of a nasty truth or give her more.

Biting down on her lower lip, Y/n hoped a little pain and blood on her tongue was enough to keep her mouth shut and ward off the obvious truth, but when his lips sought her jaw and he added another finger to his quickening ministrations while pressing his thumb to her nub, she succumbed. “Yes…” She heaved, sobbing, “I want you,” she cried, head bending forward and her face consequently nuzzling the side of his.

She was only human, after all.

Finally satisfied, Andy let Y/n’s wrists go and she immediately loomed her arms around his neck, holding him to her. Meanwhile, he removed his fingers from her arousal and started pushing her underwear down, letting it pool at her feet. Without thinking, she kicked it away and when Andy curled his fingers under her ass after sparing a bare moment to undo his pants and free his cock, she let him lift her off the ground and wrapped her legs around his waist.

But when Andy slid into her with unfettered ease, girth stretching her to the point of a delicious burn, an erotic moan tumbled off her lips and her fingers curled in his nape. Immediately, he struck up a pace of pronounced but aggressive thrusts, giving off the sense that he was barely containing himself.

She still felt guilty. Y/n still knew it was wrong.

“Fuck….Laurie….” In the heat of the moment, her name dripped off his lips, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized that it wasn’t even about her;

'Because you remind me of someone. Someone special.'

'Keep the length, try a couple shades darker'- just like the woman in the photographs.

“I’ve been thinking about this since we met,” he admitted, liquor stained breath hot on her face and distracting her, “God, you feel so fucking good, you take me so well.”

He felt good too.

Steadying her at the hip with one hand, Andy used the other to free her blouse from the waist of her skirt. Delving under the hem, he groped her breast through her bra, kneading harshly. As the rhythmic roll of his hips grew rabid, Y/n found herself demanding, “Harder,” and, “Faster,” with the occasional obscene praise peppered in between.

Reveling in the feel of his bulging veins rubbing her sensitive walls with each purposeful, aggressive thrust and the way the curve of his member seemed to probe at the lowest part of her stomach, Y/n sunk her nails into his back, clawing at Andy through his shirt. Breathy moans and low grunts bounced off the walls as stifling heat cocooned them, hardly remedied by the air conditioning.

With each jerk, her back hit the wall with an audible thump and as Y/n felt herself inching closer to insurmountable gratification she tightened her legs around his hips, driving the back of her feet into his thighs. “Andy,” she hitched headily when his lips met hers again, not really in a kiss but a stretch of shared breaths. “Fuck,” Y/n heaved into his mouth, “You feel so….”

Grinning wickedly, he tried to meet her lust blown eyes but their faces were so close that it was hard. “Feel so….?”

“So-uh,” a small fraction of her was readily able to recognize that there was no coming back from the words she wanted to say. Her silly admission that he was the best she’d ever had. Y/n’s mind though had fallen into some kind of sex-crazed limbo, caught between what was inherently right and what felt incomparably good.

“Tell me,” he demanded, kissing her roughly, biting her lips before pulling away a few centimeters.

“Good,” at the back of his head, she grabbed a fistful of his hair, causing him to bite her lips when they kissed again, “So fucking good.” Pressing her face close to his, the rise and fall of her chest became erratic and her heart was galloping in behind her ribs and she became acutely aware of just how close she was to toppling over with gratification.

“I wanna feel you,” he encouraged, quickening his pace a little, fingers digging into her waist.

The fabric of his shirt was crumpled in her grip and eager for release, Y/n struggled to buck her hips towards his. With a gasp, Y/n’s legs stiffened and her head lolled back against the wall. Unrestrained ecstasy started in a burst at her center, spreading like an untamed wildefire to electrify her every nerve. Clenching around him, her frame quaked and she drenched their thighs in silky moisture. She didn’t think it had ever felt like that; like watching fireworks on an LSD high or speeding on the freeway after a night of tequila shots. There was a rush she’d never experienced before, one she fittingly thought could only ever be achieved with drugs. “Andy! Fuck!” Her throat hurt and her words were loud and a little hoarse.

Andy’s pace didn’t falter through the crest of her euphoria, though just as her high settled, leaving behind a pleasurable sensitivity and colours on her vision, his hips sputtered. She should have pushed him away, begged him to pull out, but much too consumed by the threads of pleasure still running through her veins, Y/n clung to him as generous ribbons of his hot product shot into her. By then, he’d shifted his feet slightly and moved both his hands to hold onto her hip, as if he were keeping her in place so she’d take every drop of him.

Even after it was over, Andy remained sheathed between her sore walls for a handful of slow moments. They kissed, lips taking on a leisured pace that time and Y/n leaned forward so he’d be supporting most of her weight. She could have sworn that every sensation in that moment was raw and amplified; the roughness of his beard scratching the area around her lips and tickling her palms, the fullness of him still settled inside her, the heat of his touch seeping through her blouse and the rhythm of his heart matching hers.

Suddenly, she couldn’t remember if her heartbeat had ever matched James’.

She hated that she was comparing them. He was a good man and Andy was…..Andy.

Gingerly, he pulled out, and simultaneously, she untangled her legs from around him, knees almost buckling as her feet finally hit the ground. Shutting her eyes as she slumped against the wall, Y/n could hear the soft clink of his belt as Andy tugged his pants up, and while she made no effort to pull her skirt down, she could feel the fabric slowly creeping back to his proper place.

When he lazily leaned forward, braced by one arm pressed to the wall diagonally over her head, Andy reached out to ghost the outline of her face with his rough fingertips, thumb tracing tear stains and then the shape of her kiss-swollen lips. His breathing was just as heavy as hers and it was only after his touch hand trailed down her neck and had reached the valley of her cleavage did he disturbed the heavy silence. “Can I tell you something?” His hoarse whisper elicited a pitiful whimper and shiver from her. His large hand skimmed the contour of her curves and settled to a firm grip on her waist, “You’re prettier when you’re mine.”

Mine.

His.

A hitched sob escaped her throat just as her guilt doubled; how could she? That time, when she pushed him away, Andy complied. There was so much she could say to him; curse him, lie and say she hated him, blame him but it would really only be words born from her own guilt and after he’d spent the past forty minutes or so ruining her, Y/n didn’t think he deserved the satisfaction.

Sucking in a big breath to contain her shameful tears, she shuffled away from Andy, who didn’t even put a toe towards trying to stop her; she supposed it was because he’d already gotten what he wanted. Blindly, Y/n stumbled towards the door, letting herself out without a word and not bothering to shut it as she left. Approaching the car parked on the curb, Y/n rummaged through her coat for the keys and after she got them out, she shrugged off the coat using it to lap up some of the moisture on her face and neck before getting in.

Immediately after getting the engine going, Y/n put down the windows and turned on the air conditioning, hoping the inescapable chill would do something for her appearance. Then reaching into the glove compartment, she hastily extracted a wad of napkins and did her best to clean up before discarding them on the passenger seat and grabbing up her phone.

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”

“Drive safe. Text me when you get there.”

“Y/n?”

“I get it if you’re still upset but please let me know that you’re safe.”

“Ordered your favorite for dinner. Waiting till you get here. I love you.”

“Shit!” Y/n banged the wheel with the side of her fist and hot tears rained from blurry eyes. She’d been at Andy’s for just over an hour. Trying to slow the erratic rise and fall of her chest and quiet her sobs, she quickly typed a response, telling James that she’d forgotten her phone in the car and would be home within the next half hour.

Then, as she wiped her eyes and pulled off, hoping she could bring herself to face James by the time she got home.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber fanfic #andy barber #fanfic #defending jacob #andy barber au #prettier when you're mine

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shallowcoffin · 11 months ago

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 10,066

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : Smut, unrealistic sex, restraints, bdsm(? they use a safeword + intentional pain), hair pulling, choking, PiV, anal(briefly), unprotected sex ( WRAP YOUR SHIT I'M SERIOUS ), glove kink(?), clothed fingering, smacking, creampie, mentions of drugs / spice and drug / spice usage, general bratty behavior and coercion for answers [not coerced or forced consent].

𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 / 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : [Romantic] Commander Fox & Jewels [oc]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : NSFW Smut with plot ?

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 :

To avoid smut and just the plot, anything bracketed between the gray lines is smut, and anything before or after it is the plot.

Jewels is also AFAB nonbinary so if i slipped up and said she, tell me please i swear to the gods-

Jewels is also heavily implied to be part of a Spice cartel.

Anyways, ( for the most part ) I have proofread so hopefully there are no mistakes. There is also use of Mando'a terms, such as di'kut and leralta.

𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐬 : gif belong to kaminocoruscant respectively.

Could they really have been this stupid ? Fuck. They wouldn’t hear the end of this from Junior, not once he finds out. They may as well be dead by the time he finds out. FUCK !

Interrogation after interrogation, they’d been there for at least twenty hours. And they were already sober at this point. The buzz of the overhanging lights causes a never-ending sound in their head, making them wish they could grip their head in pain. They yanked once more on the cuffs on their wrists. Chains on each cuff with the chain itself are attached in a thick metal loop on the table. Pulling on the restraints as if it would fix anything.

Couldn’t they just flip the table ? They’d done it so many times before, that the Coruscant Guard got smart and bolted the tables down. Fucking pricks. Even yanking on them again, pushing the chair out from under them and yanking harder. It didn’t work. Much like the last ten or so tries they’d had. Even being sober their strength isn’t the greatest, so their not sure if they're doing it in an attempt to go insane or get attention.

“ Thorn ! “ They yelled out, looking up towards the gray camera in the corner of the room. They had asked for ibuprofen almost an hour ago, or what felt like an hour ago. And of course, the stupid buzzing was getting worse from the overhang lights

“ Thorn, please. “ They beg their voice sweet and sultery, almost begging. “ At least turn the lights down ? “ They plead with the Commander in hopes he’d give them the relief of a dimmer light at the minimum. But when they still stood staring, squinting at the camera, no relief came.

They screamed in frustration, yelling as they continued to pull at their restraints. Their scream piercing and sounded like a person having a meltdown. Maybe this was a meltdown. It didn’t feel like one, bt fuck the buzzing felt like it was scrapping against their brain. Even as they continued to pull and continue their ‘tantrum’ it took a moment for a single thing to happen about it. But, the lights finally dimmed down. They stop as the light dims down to half the intensity it had been. They breathed a sigh of relief and swallowed. They hadn’t exactly expected them throwing a tantrum would ever help the situation. But perhaps Thorn was pitying them.

“ Thanks . . . “ They say, begrudgingly.

Pulling their chair by one foot they pull it back to the table and sit, scooting every so slightly forward before they could get their hands and elbows to rest on the cold surface. Although there was a second chair, no one had sat in it for over an hour or so. Or maybe it was longer, or shorter. They couldn’t tell, they didn’t want to know how long they’d been stuck in the interrogation room. Why ? Because all the actual cells were doubled up, or over capacity. At least that’s how both Thorn and Stone had told them during interrogation. Most certainly full of people who had no crimes, or so little a crime it was hard to believe they had been thrown in a cell to begin with.

But them ? They were only in here every other goddamn day. Enough to have thrown them into the same interrogation room too many times to count. Enough to know many of the guards by name, though they can’t say they have favorites, Thorn and Fox seem to be what Jewels could call a favorite.

They sigh, muttering a curse in ryl under their breath. Their frustration brought their forehead down to the cold metal earning a hiss from their mouth, upset at their situation. Even though it was their own doing.

They had done this to themselves. They had gotten into trouble and were at a very illegal party with very illegal drugs that they were dealing. They’d never heard the end of it from their brother, Junior. If they’d ever hear from him. Their impending doom was inevitable at some point. But they’d known the Coruscant Guard for as long as they’ve been around. And they’d known the police force before them. It all had been about six or seven years on the streets selling, indulging, just being. The previous police force had no real quarrel with them. Some even had a deal with Junior, or even worse, their father. It felt wrong some days, but maker did they not have the strength to stop. The ability to stop. The itching sensation of withdrawal had already crept up their spine. Headache and slight nausea. The bright lights only contribute to it more. So as the lights had dimmed it felt like a godsend.

“ Taking a nap ? “ The familiar tinge of a voice came through, ringing in their ears. Fox. Finally, after what felt like days of them alone in a brightly lite room, now turned dim. They didn’t intend for Fox specifically, but, they know from previous experiences that not many other Shock troopers can handle the druggie well. Hell, they remember the first time Hound interrogated them, and they made the poor trooper start sobbing.

“ Oh look, it’s my favorite Commander, “ They gently jab back at his tease as they look up and see the Commander. His red and white plastoid clashed together to make noise as he moved. Stopping, he stared out the observation window. It was usually one-sided, with onlookers able to look in while people in the room could not. For now, it was tinted as a two-way bullet proof window. People could look in, and similarly, they could see people walk by.

“ Here I thought Thorn was your favorite. “ He teased, though he wasn’t nearly as playful sounding as usual. A tinge of either frustration or exhaustion was hinted in his voice. But they knew he was only teasing. They expected he’s probably stressed to hell right now. But their not above pushing their luck. Fox stressed, or not.

“ Come to think of it, “ They start, shifting in their chains. “ Thorn is the only commander who takes care of me. “ They coo as if to imply that Thorn had done something off-book. Sure, Thorn had once or twice done something for them that would have been seen as going off-book, or perhaps even seen as too friendly. But its nothing more than a friendly gesture. But even then, they were no snitch. And it had only been bottles of water or even a snack from the break room.

“ Oh ? “ He questions, they can tell even from behind his helmet that his brow is raised in curiosity as his head turns toward them. “ How so ? “

His inquiry almost caused the silver-dyed nat-born to blush as they clenched their teeth. The way his voice pulled through his visor was so familiarly attractive. It haunted their every good dream. Plaguing their mind with fantasies that would never happen. And with memories of fucking some other clone like it was him. Not that they would ever admit that in a hundred years. Instead, they calmed the heat on their face and smirked slightly to regain what little control they had.

“ I had a headache, and he turned the light down for me. “ They respond as Fox takes a step forward.

“ Oh, did he now ? “ He spoke back, stepping towards them, closer. He was close enough that They could hear his coms through his helmet and hear Thorn’s apology.

“ He did. So nice of him, hm ? “ They respond. They turn their head to their side, having to tilt their head up to look at the six-foot Coruscant Guard. His proximity doing a number on their heartbeat as it beat harshly in their chest. Stomach filled with their favorite feeling of exhilaration. The familiar and exhilarating ecstasy that only drugs and sex have been known to give them. They almost loathed Fox because of it. What made him so damn special to make them feel this way ? What had made him so damn desirable in their eyes ? They’d never even seen his actual face.

The Commander didn’t say anything back and instead walked over to the other side of the table, slapping a folder on the metal table. They raise an eyebrow as the clone sits. He opens the folder and hums. There's a momentary silence between them both as he reads over and scans the contents. The file currently is thin and most likely only a page wide. But their certain they have a collective folder from previous arrests, and that this was just for the event from twenty or so hours ago.

“ What were you doing in that warehouse ? “ He questions without any warning of where he’s going with this. Or why. Usually, their conversations had playful banter and teasing and they’d be more willing to answer questions correctly. Though now, they were fully sober and feeling the pain of a harsh headache while being more than likely dehydrated.

“ Hmmm, well i was hooking up with this lovely girl, your girlfriend, “ They say clutching their hands together and leaning their chin on top of them, elbows on the table. The chains from their cuffs halted most of their movement as the chains suspended from the cuffs to the loop on the table.

“ Jewels, “ He warns, but the smirk that’s plastered on their face sustains.

“ The whole time I was eating her out- “ they were interrupted by their name, again.

“ Jewels, “ He warned again, louder, but Jewels kept going. Kept pushing.

“ She was screaming me praises about how good I was, and how shit you are in bed. I made her orgasm more times than you can count. “ They boast, brag even as if it wasn’t a complete lie just to piss him off. Their words were not chosen carefully enough as this time he spared no effort for patience. His gloved hand hooked and pulled on the chain, causing the human to be pulled forward. Their hands knocked off their elbows and chin bashed into the table.

“ Jewels, “ His voice aching with pure frustration as he yanked harder as he raised his voice. Their breath caught in their throat like they’d been knocked the wind out of. Their cuffs were completely pulled to the end of the middle of the table, wrists pressed together in a tight hold, no doubt either bruising or chaffing harshly into their skin.

“ Fucking shit !! “ They hiss their chin hurting as they lift their head from the table staring at the Coruscant Guard. They’re lucky their nose didn’t break because it definitely would have if their face planted into the table instead. “ Fucking sith-hells, Fox ! “

“ It’s Commander Fox, “ He growled back, leaning half over the table as he held the chain with one hand. Causing Jewels to swallow. Never in their time being arrested, interrogated, or manhandled had he ever been this rough. Sure, he’d been more than fine with pushing or shoving them, maybe even cuffing or detaining them with slight force. But nothing to the extent of truly being this rough.

They held their ground. They knew they were sober enough to know this was real. This was not a spice trip-induced fantasy. Then what the hell was actually happening right now ?

“ You answer my questions, “ He demands, “ Or i’ll continue to use unorthodox methods to get my answers. “ He finishes his statement with the most sincere voice they think they’ve ever heard from this man. He slowly lets go of the chain, causing the chain to fall back on the table and release the pressure on their wrists. They are able to finally sit back in their chair. Their wrists feel sore, but it isn’t anything they’ve never felt before, or dealt with. Instead, they rub both their wrist before putting them back on the table.

“ What were you doing at the warehouse ? “ He asks again. This time there is genuine consideration in their eyes as they stare at Fox. They’re weighing their options. There’s too much stake in this. They’re well aware the commander could physically hurt them, and harm them. But if they lied and continued to lie to save their father and brother's skins, their punishment would be a lot worse than a broken face, or bones.

“ Raving, it was a rave. “ They reply as if it’s an obvious answer. He is clearly impatient as he stares them down through the visor on his helmet. An audible growl hissed through his helmet’s modulator. He’s not happy, it’s obvious they're testing the very limits the very stressed commander has, and it’s a bit frightening.

“ What were you doing at the rave. “ He asks again, this time clearly gritting his teeth. The blue-eyed human stares at him blankly. They are careful not to convey their emotions through their features, which is difficult with him being so intense, straining the former playful energy with a tense atmosphere.

“ Dancing, eating, drinking. Ya know the bartender was so sweet, they made me a sex on the beach and complimented me all night. Such a lovely guy, honestly i think if you were there- “ They start to ramble trying to cut the growing tension between them. But they're cut off but his fist slams against the table. They shift in their chair with their breath caught in their throat.

“ Thorn, “ Fox says pressing his com button with two fingers, on the left side of his helmet.

“ Yeah, Fox ? “ Thorn inquires back as Jewels sits in absolute silence. Their breath is shallow and their scared to breathe. At this point they're almost certain he’s had enough of them, and going to beat the shit of them for not complying with the ‘right answers.’ Could he tell they were little half-truths and not the full truth ? Or had he completely lost faith in their ability to tell the truth ?

“ Turn off the camera. “ Fox orders and it’s clear Thorn is struggling to understand as Jewel’s eyes widen. “ Sir I don't- “ Thorn starts but he too is cut off by the intense energy Fox is displaying. Even though Thorn has just as much say in the matter as a ranking officer in the gar. It’s clear by the tone in Thorn’s voice this has never happened before, and he finds it questionable. If they weren’t facing the possibility of being sent to prison, Jewels would almost find it sweet that Thorn is concerned.

“ Turn. Them. Off. “ Fox demands and without any more hesitation the Commander turns the camera off. The red light dimmed as it powered down, and they felt their heart drop in their stomach. Without another order the Commander gets up from his seat, walking towards the door panel and messing with the buttons. The lights remain dim, but the viewing window on the left side dulls into a blank black, presumably shutting it off. Shit, he really is going to beat the answers out of them. They swallow, terrified of what is to come.

“ ‘Cmon Fox, enough messing around. “ They try and joke as their voice is barely there. Their voice crackles slightly like it’s breaking. They're nervous, anxious, and terrified of what he’ll do. The usual teasing and gentle, serious man completely shifted from their playful banter to a tone of tension and silence. A dominating and demanding nature arises. He has never been this intense, nor this obviously upset or distressed about something. There was more to this than just Jewels not complying with the full truth.

“ It’s Commander, leralta. “ He corrects, darkness laced in his voice as his steps draw closer to the table. His hands gripped the chain again pulling it back to the edge. It’s slower than the slam before, but it pulls the prisoner from their seat.

The name is new, and so is this tactic. They’ve never done this before. Their eyes show confusion and general fear as he grabs a key from his pocket. Confusion plastered on their face and he un-cuffs one hand, gripping their wrist tightly. In an instant, they try to pull back but are quickly stopped. Grabbing both their wrist tightly, Fox makes it clear he’s not messing around. And even if they managed to wiggle free of their cuffs, he still had a blaster holstered to his side and a locked door.

“ tsk tsk, be a good leralta, listen, and stay still. “ His voice retains his serious tone but it’s lighter than before, almost bold. It’s playful but laced with darkness in his voice, something they’d never experienced from anyone, let alone him. His grip loosens, Jewels being too afraid to move stays put, eyes taking in the whole thing. Chest pressed against the table and arms stretched out across it, breathing shallow as they carefully watched him wrap the chain around several times between the two cuffs and re-cuff their wrist. The chain is now tightly fixed to the center of the table leaving the poor human sprawled across it.

The front of their thighs pressed into the side of the table, standing on their feet. Their chest pressed against the cold metal. And without the jacket they’d come in with, they would be shivering from the cold metal immediately.

“ F-Fox- ? “ They start but are interrupted by a gloved hand in their hair, pulling it to look him in the eyes through his visor. It’s a tight pull, his gloved hands feel weird in their silvery hair. But it pulls all the same, demanding them to look at him.

“ Choose your words carefully, “ He warns, the lowness in his voice never ceasing. They swallow.

“ Commander, I- “ They nervously start, “ I’ll um, be honest if you are honest with me. “ They proposition. His gloved hand was removed from their locks, hoping he’d consider their offer. But what they weren’t expecting was the hiss of his helmet removing. His helmet was placed on the far side of the table, not that Jewels could reach it. Instead, their eyes were fixed on the man in front of them. Short charcoal dark curls covered the top of his head, sides shaved with streaks of gray, it almost looked soft, and certainly well maintained. While his eyes stared at them, swirls of darkness mixed with brown chocolate eyes. It stirred a warm mess in their chest, hot, heavy, and full of want.

He’d never done that before. He’s never taken his helmet off before, and they realize they’ve never seen his face before. A noticeable, horizontal scar over the bridge of his nose. A smaller vertical scar over a small part of his jawline on his left side. It trails a bit down his neck but it’s smaller than the one across his nose. They don’t notice the small scar over his right temple, but at the moment their just trying to comprehend that during this entire ordeal, he’s taken off his helmet.

“ Hm, how about I ask a question, you answer honestly and then maybe I’ll let you ask a question back. “ He replies, sitting down on the metal chair. He spreads his legs apart, elbows resting on knees and hands clasped together as he rests his chin on top of them. His chair is far enough away from he table for them to see him, and his still intimidating figure.

“ O- Okay. “ They agree as they stare at him in their awkward position. Looking deeply into his brown eyes. They’ve seen them so many times in other men, but his are so different. A familiar shade of brown, but they could swear a hint of a darker brown in his left iris. A swirl of soft shades of brown pleasing to their own blue colored iris.

“ What were you doing at the rave, in the warehouse ? “ Although worded differently it held a deeper weight to it now. They swallow, their heart racing, thighs clenched together as his eyes stared hungrily back at them. A pool of arousal flooded their stomach and their panties. Fuck he’s hot.

“ Selling spice. “ They finally answer, with truth and honesty. His eyebrow raised. Was this the answer he wanted ? Expected ? Fuck, they're in too deep now. They can’t go back. They can’t take back a confession. They swallow as the realization they can never go home settles in their chest.

“ So the leralta can listen. “ He teases, his playful nature shining through. But it held so much more in his voice. And the nickname, what does leralta even mean ? They try to compose themselves but find it difficult. A mixture of emotions they’ve never had the pleasure of feeling sober bleeding through them as their stomach twists.

“ You answered honestly, now I will allow you to ask one yourself. Better make it count. “ He spoke again, curious about what they might ask. They swallow and search their mind, but it’s so full of thoughts. Dirty thoughts. Even as they try to pick out the real question they want to ask, it’s overshadowed by the further dread that cemented itself in them. They needed to know if he was going to hurt them. They can think about the consequences of their confession later.

“ What . . . What are you going to do to me ? “ Their question passes their lips before they can even think about how to word it better. But it’s already slipped past him. It’s a bizarre question their sure, but it’s possible he was willing to hurt them. He chuckles darkly, a smile across his lips like he finds the question amusing. It causes a bitter feeling of butterflies to twist in their stomach instead.

“ Only good things, if you listen. “ He answers with a sense of excitement behind them. He hasn’t touched them besides their wrists, if he was going to hurt them wouldn’t he have already ? They feel better about this realization but it only causes a small flush of heat on their cheeks.

“ Is that what you want, leralta ? “ He asks, almost tauntingly as he does so. Is he asking permission ? Consent ? Their heart races as their eyes show a pleading they’ve never dared show to the Commander before. Their excited to find out what he means. But they’d be lying if they said there wasn’t hesitation. Did they really want to ruin the dynamic between them ? This was not just crossing a line for them, but for him as well. If anyone found out about it, he’d more than likely be court marshaled. Or worse, decommissioned.

They swallow, once again weighing their options as the commander waits for their reply. His eyes show how eager he feels, had he thought about it too ? The near thought was taboo itself. But all the same arousing and slightly amusing. Every second that passes by them, they can sense his own anxieties about it. So they do what has been on their mind for what feels like years.

“ Yes Commander Please, “ They practically beg, pathetically, giving him any permission he needs to do what his sick little mind has wanted to do since they first opened their mouth.

His eyes darken, standing to his feet and slowly, torturously walks towards them. The near way he walks towards them makes their skin shiver, and boots heavy against the cement floor as he walks around the bolted-down table. Their eyes follow him, but before their head can turn to their left, his gloved fingers tangle in their short hair leaning in, his left hand plastered on the table palm down. They can barely see him out of the corner of their eyes, even with their head tilted to their left. It strains their neck to do so but they don’t care.

“ You want me to fuck you against this table ? “ Fox whispers into their ear, pulling their hair back as his hot breath hits against their ear. His lips were only centimeters away from their ear. They can hear him breathing as his plastoid clanks on the table as he lays his arm down to lean in closer. They only focused on the words he’s asked them.

“ M-Ma-Maker- “ They stutter, swallowing what little pride they had left. “ Ye-yes, “ They respond, a soft whimper leaving them as he lets go of their hair.

“ Such a needy toy, “ He hums, his voice trailing behind them as he moves. They feel as his gloved hands trace around the back of their waistband before he slowly hikes up their shirt and jacket, his gloved hands rubbing the small of their back, slightly curved as he grips at their flesh for a moment. They shiver silently against the warm leather against their skin as it slides down back to their waistband, hooking two fingers into their pants and pulling them down. A small gasp leaves them as the front of their thighs press into the cold metal side of the table, thighs bare and warm against the cold metal.

Pulling their pants down slowly, he makes sure his gloves brush up against their thighs, down to their calves before trailing back up. As he makes his way back up, both his gloved hand cups and squeezes their ass. A small surprised gasp escapes them as fingers sneak between their thighs and rub against their clothed flesh.

“ If asked, will you provide where you get your spice from ? “ Fox asks, toying with them as he asks his interrogation questions. Rubbing softly against their clothed pearl with his index finger to ensure a quicker answer, his other hand grabbed onto the metal table.

“ I-I can’t do that- “ They reply, frantically trying to hold it together. They can’t tell him, not unless they know they're protected. But even then, the deep fear in the pit of their stomach is dulled by the sensation of the slow circles across their clothed heat.

He is not pleased by this answer, stopping and pulling the piece of clothing from exposing their cunt down far enough it’s not in the way, letting more cold air hit their flesh. It all feels so cold when you're burning with heated desire. Without a warning he presses a gloved finger into the slick, pressing into the wet warmth earning a gasping sound as a reaction.

“ Let’s try that again, Leralta. “ He says, pulling out his finger before he slides two gloved fingers in its place. The burning sensation mixed with a twist of pleasure from how large his fingers were, lightly stretching them. It caused the nat-born human to whimper against it. This is a new experience altogether. Burning leather pressed in and out of their heat to coerce a response.

“ Oo-Okay okay, i-i will. I will. “ They try to say with as little sound of whimpering or moaning as they could. This earned them a slow curl of his fingers, applying pressure as he slowly, and painfully moved his gloved fingers inside them.

“ And you’ll provide a list of people you sold to today, as well ? “ He asks as Jewels mewled from his actions. Maker, why’d he have to be so good at making them feel this way ?

“ Ye-yes ! M-Ma-Maker, anything ! “ They complied in hopes he would go faster. Or relieve them of their release.

“ Good toy, “ He praised, increasing his speed much to their pleasure as he listened to them heave their breath and softly moan to keep quiet, the burning sensation not fading. But then he stopped, pulling his fingers out and removing his glove with his teeth, throwing both his gloves onto the table. They try not to whine from the missed friction, burning and all, it felt so heavenly against their heated cunt. Why couldn’t he just fuck them already ?

His knees finally made contact with the floor as his hands gripped their hips trailing before giving their ass a squeeze before giving it a slap, watching it promptly bounce a bit. Jewels tried not to yelp at the action, his bare hand on their skin was rougher than the leather had been. He couldn’t help but let out a low growl, reverberating in his chest as he pulled their underwear down further and out of his way. His left hand gripped tightly onto their thigh fat as his unclothed right thumb slowly trailed across their slick before meeting their sensitive pearl. He trailed gentle circles into their clint, humming very pleased by the small moan and mewl from the nat-born human. He feels rather jealous about other men having touched what he is now, but he doesn’t let himself think about it. Instead, focusing on the quiet whimpers and huffs they give him. Their breath heaved and moans soft, yet quiet as they try their best not to struggle against the ecstasy.

“ Your sounds are so pretty. “ He hummed as they only continued to quietly moan trying to come up with a reply but failing to form words. Without another word, his tongue met face to face into their cunt. Earning an even louder moan as he started to eat them out. Gripping tightly into their thigh for support as his other thumb rolled harder circles into their clit. Moaning relentlessly, they tried to keep it to a minimum even as his curls tickled parts of their ass.

“ F-Fuck- “ Jewels cursed as they muffled themselves into their arm. Fox’s mouth parts but his thumb continues. “ Don’t to dare cover your mouth Leralta, “ He warns with a warning slap and a tight thigh squeeze.

They whimper and wince in response, chest pressed against the table. His pace increases as his thumb slowly replaces with his tongue, it’s sloppier but more effective as they moan out.

“ F-Fox- aaah ! C-Commander ! “ They try again earning his hand to slap on their ass, and thumb to press into her asshole causing a gasped whimper as a response. The stimulus is just enough to get them off as they orgasm. Walls clenching around nothing as his tongue moves slower and then to a stop. He must have realized they reached their release because his approach changes as his hands grip onto their thighs.

“ Do you know how many times I've thought about you ? “ He asks, his movements stopped, but he’s still on his knees. Their thighs spread apart, legs pulled apart from his knees. Their sex is still clenched and wet as they breathe against the table. His question catches them off guard, but it causes another rise of excitement in them as they breathe.

“ You think about me ? “ They ask, answering his question with a question, almost coely as they want to be playful. But they're genuinely curious about how and why. Does he truly think about them the way he thinks about him ? “ I think about you too much, yes. “ He replies, his lips kissing their left thigh as he holds onto the fats of said thighs.

“ What exactly do you think about, when you think of me ? “ They muse as his thumb brushes against their clit, a bit more sensitive as he notices them clench harshly from the touch. Before he answers, he slowly starts to roll circles again, his other hand squeezing roughly on the fat of their left thigh.

“ Depends on the day. “ He replies, listening to their soft whimper. “ Most are less than work appropriate. “ He adds as he adds two of his thick fingers into their slick without warning, a gasped moan escapes them again as they clench around his fingers.

“ Making me hard under my desk while i’m trying to write reports, “ He groans, his cheek resting against their right thigh, his groan vibrating the fat gently. “ Not appropriate for work. But here we are, “ His fingers curl against the roof of their cunt, pressing against the spongy texture of their sensitive spot. They softly mewl in reply.

“ Commander i- “ Jewels attempt to reply to his words, but they're silenced by a bite on the back of their thigh. A successful bruise is left as he roughens his paced circles. He becomes rougher, the pressure building as he continues. “ How disgusting i must be for wanting you so badly. “ He continues, but his voice seems a bit disparaged. “ Maker, i just want to fuck you til’ you can’t walk. “ He growls into their thigh.

His quickened pace causes a surge of ecstasy to form in their stomach. A soft moan escapes as their cheek rests against the table. The pressure builds enough that the poor nat-born human can’t even speak as they moan into a soft whimper as their sex clenches once again against the Commander's fingers. A soft huffed pant leaves them before they can say anything. His fingers leave them before he promptly puts the two fingers in his mouth, whipping them clean. “ Never thought you’d taste this tart, “ He hums as he gets up from his knees.

As he gets up, his hand slaps their ass. The cold plastoid of his codpiece perfectly pressed against their bare, wet, cunt. It’s colder than they expected, earning another shiver rolling down their spine as they huff trying to calm their breath.

“ Ask next time, Leralta. “ He breaths as the nat-born human under him pants like a dog in the heat.

“ Sorry . . . i’m usually the one in charge. “ They admit with a breathless laugh, though they still find it rather embarrassing. He chuckles too, breath huffing against their ear as his teeth grab ahold of their earlobe.

“ I’ll be changing that. “ He whispers, hands holding their hips as he continues to pressure into their wet cunt, still aching for more. Their slick is bound to be all over his codpiece with how much pressure he’s holding.

“ If i fuck you against the table, Leralta, “ He starts, his breath wavering as he continues to whisper in their ear. “ I will not stop. “

It’s less of a threat and more of a promise as if saying he won’t stop unless they explicitly say. or maybe even then he wouldn’t. It’s a warning that isn’t concerning, at least not compared to the pain they’ve already experienced at his hand today. But for all they know he could get rougher. “ Now is you’re time to flag out, or tell me a safeword. “ This time it’s clear that he wants a safeword.

Jewels swallows and thinks. They move to look over their shoulder, looking at his face once more. His gaze i genuine and shows how much he actually cares for their safety as he rubs circles into their hips. His face is inches away, and yet to far away to press their lips to. It almost hurts more not being able to face him. It hurts not being able to kiss him. “ If i say, creamer, will you stop ? “ They ask to confirm a safeword. Fox nods even though he knows they can barely see with his face buried behind their ear. “ Creamer is fine, “ He repeats and confirms, though it is barely above a whisper. The nat-born human only nods in reply to confirm. He’s softer, his breath sounding slightly shaky as he breathes in the scent of spice, and alcohol from their clothes. Yet there's something else he smells that he can’t determine, he’d find it frustrating if he wasn’t so calm breathing it in. His eyes are closed, he’s close enough to become part of them, and yet it isn’t enough.

They take in a deep breath and exhale from the silence, “ Then what are you waiting for, Commander ? “ They ask teasingly. After their words, his hand slithers under their arm and grabs their throat. “ Watch it, Leralta, or i’ll make it painfully slow. “ He whispers, squeezing the sides of their neck rather than a full-on hand palming coke. He’s definitely done this before, squeezing tight enough to make them dizzy, his hand is big enough to engulf half of their neck almost perfectly, like it’s a perfect fit as he softly breathes kissing their ear and down to the base of their neck.

He isn’t going to be gentle for long, it’s clear by the grip of their hip, and as he let go of their neck. The pressure of his codpiece leaves their cunt, his hands pulling away. They are painfully aware of his touch being gone as he pulls off his codpiece. He groans as he pulls his length from his blacks, he gives it a few pumps with his hands before he spits in his hand and presses his tip against their folds. He trails his cock up and down their slick as he prepares himself. Slick coating his foreskin as he repeats his actions a few times.

“ Fox . . . “ Jewels whines in response to his teasing. The actions of such brought across the consequence of him pressing his tip in, and ramming it inside them without a warning or moment to adjust. They let out a gasp and almost pained whimper. But he pulls himself out again to relieve it, making them aware that he has control over the situation. “ Already forget how to address me ? “ He teases as he presses his tip back in, earning a grumble in response from Jewels as they lay their cheek back against the table. Slowly, he pushes his cock back into their cunt, feeling the clench of their walls around him. It sounds sloppy and wet as he pushes in slowly, air and discharge mixed together to make such a sound as he buries his penis into their sex.

“ Sorry, Commander, “ They reply weakly with a soft whimper in their voice. They easily adjust to his cock, clenching needingly around him. He feels like the girth of two of his fingers, and long enough to leave half an inch out of them, fitting him like a tight leather glove. “ Fuck, please move, “ Their voice is pathetically whiny as they ask politely. Even if it sounded like begging.

He gives a slow thrust, pulling out and then pushing back in at a slow pace. He grabs their hips, perfectly placed around them.

“ Now, can you be quiet, leralta ? Not a sound. “ He rasps in their ear before he increases his pace, fingers digging into their hips slightly, hand trailing up enough to move their shirt out of the way. They swallow and bite their lip, trying not to let out a soft moan as they breathe heavily, leaving a condensational mist against the metal table.

His breath is heavy too, keeping his pace as he lets out low grunt after grunt, hovering a bit over them. “ You’re doing so well, “ He breathes praise, a hand leaves their hip as he snakes his fingers into the back of their short hair. Gripping it’s silver shade and pulling their hair back. As gasps leave their lips but they are quick to silence the moan of pleasure that wants to leave from him grabbing their hair. Their head is pulled back from their cheek leaning on the table, pulling it back, making their back involuntarily arch.

“ Keeping quiet for me. “ He finishes his previous sentence making Jewels paint softly, almost in reply. Their not afraid to say 'thank you' or speak. A part of them wants to know what he’ll do if they don’t, so they raise the challenge in excitement. “ Not just you, “ They reply in a cheeky tone, teasing him immensely.

He pulls tighter on their hair and leans back in, his thrusts slowed, painfully getting rougher as his hips harshly pump in and out. “ You want to be a brat ? “ He growls, his teeth biting the edge of their ear. “ You want to see what happens when you don’t listen ? “ He asks, his voice has a hint of amusement. They're already restrained, at his mercy. Yet they still had to push him. They can’t help it. “ I do, “ They reply, challenging Fox right off the gate. It’s bold, Fox could give them that, but he’s not about to give in to bratty behavior. In response to their reply, the hand once on their hip moved, and he spits in his fingers before rubbing them across their asshole. His pace slowed down causing the human beneath him to whine.

“ Would you prefer i destroy a different hole ? “ He muses for a moment, his thrusts becoming almost non-existent with a roll of his hips every so often as he slips his thumb back into their second hole. Jewels only mumbles in response, trying to find out what to say that egg him on. So he completely stopped and pulled out. His cock rested against the crevice of their ass. “ Why’d you stop ? “ They huff head turning to the side. He uses both his hands to spread their asshole before he spits on his cock adding more of whatever possible lubricant. After adding to it, he presses his tip against their asshole, penetrating it slowly.

“ Fuck ! “ They mewl a little too loudly, but it’s warranted and he doesn’t scold them, he just hopes no one heard it. “ To- too much, too much- “ They squeal in pain feeling the stretch as he attempts to push in further. They’ve never had the initiative to try anal, making it incredibly painful of a stretch, even with just his tip and probably no more than half an inch in, pressed inside. He stops holding an asscheek with one hand, and gives a small squeeze.

" Are you going to be a good little toy ? “ He asks a small hint of amusement in his tone as he stays put, his hand squeezing their cheek before letting go and smacking their ass. Instead of going back his hand grips their waist running his fingers down their side.

“ Yes, “ They breathe out sounding like they keeping in tears, and they are. There is slight regret for causing pain, but they weren’t using their agreed safeword, so he quickly waved away the guilt in his chest. “ Will you be quiet ? “ He asks.

Instead of using words, they give a nod and soft whimper in reply. As he grabs ahold of their hips again, pulling his tip out of their ass. He spits in his hand again and rolls it around his tip until anything that was on it is gone. When done, he pushes back into their slick and resumes his original pace. He isn’t rewarded with much noise other than a muffled moan, and he’s more than content with them finally listening. “ Look at you, “ He groans, the sight of them bent over the table. He quickens his pace, hands gripping on their hips like they're a railing. Thrusting roughly into them. “ Finally being a good aan leralta. “ He says shamelessly as the nat-born human continues to moan and whimper into the side of their arm, Fox in turn suppressing his own groans.

His grip is rough enough to leave bruises, and he doesn’t even think about it when his mouth makes it way to the side of their neck. Their so much smaller than him, even with their cheek pressed to the table, he could easily reach their neck. He nips at their flesh, tasting the sweat dripping down their neck. Her groans into them, his voice reverberating into their flesh as he growls into their neck. Their flesh perfectly muffles his moans as he grunts and continues his pace.

“ You take me so well, “ He praises, but theirs a hit of malice behind them. “ I wonder how many others have fucked you before me. “ He hissed like it’s a thought he hates, a thought he cannot relish in the fact of knowing they’ve done this many times before. His thrust becomes harder, hand grabbing their side like he’s fucking a toy, or even his hand. His thrusts are brutal enough to cause their thighs to bruise from the sheer force he presses into them.

“ Slut, “ He hisses into their ear before pulling harshly on their hair, head tilting back with it. With their head tilted back he bites their shoulder earning him a muffled groan. He licks his new mark, looking at it. It’s not bleeding, just imprints of his teeth pressed into their skin as it started to bruise. He moves his hand from beside the on the table, and smacks, then grabs their ass.

“ How many other men have cum inside you ? “ He asks darkly, his curiosity getting the best of him as he pounds deep into them. His own frustrations become known to them as they slowly realize through their pleasure haze that he hates the thought of them being with other people. They swallow, not daring to answer. Even though they already know their answer is a resounding no, they don’t want to get punished for speaking. Instead, they hold back a soft whimper.

“ Speak leralta, answer my question, “ He demands as he lets go of their hair, both hands smacked against the table by their hips, thumbs hooked on the table sides as he aggressively thrusts deeper. They wouldn’t be surprised if it’s enough to bruise their cervix. And definitely enough to feel it within the coming hours for certain.

“ N-None, “ They stutter their response as their hot breath breathes against the cold table once again, panting and trying to keep themselves from moaning as loud as they want to. “ Fuck, “ They whimper out on accident, but Fox is too occupied by this new revelation.

“ None ? “ He repeats, earning a whimpering nod from Jewels as they quietly cannot contain their noise as he brushes against their spongy spot, over, and over, and over again from the new angle.

“ N-No, no one. “ They breathe as he becomes more sloppy in his thrusts as they try their best not to unravel beneath him. “ Can, kriff, can I be the first ? “ He asks as his grunts become more strained as his grunts and groans are perfectly placed next to her ear.

They vigorously nod as they come dangerously close to the edge with every hard press against their G-spot. “ Tell me how much you want it, “ He breathes. He sounds out of breath as he keeps going, his pace slows but his intensity does not, making it rougher as he tries to keep himself together when his thrust becomes sloppy. The new revelation of no one having cum inside them makes him feel like he’s in a fever dream, primally groaning as he takes what he wants. Maker, he’s ready to take exactly what he wants. He grabs at their hips again, practically squeezing them tightly against him as he thrusts relentlessly.

“ Kriff Commander, please I need you so ba- ah ! bad ! “ They beg as they hold themselves together just a little longer. “ Let me feel your hot cum inside me F- F- ah- Fox, please, “ They mewl no longer caring what hell rains on them as they breathlessly paint. He doesn’t even address the fact they’ve used the wrong name, and truthfully he doesn’t care. It pulls at an urge inside him as he groans pulling deep and sloppy thrusts as he prepares to finally let go of his release.

Without warning Jewels squeals, muffling themselves into their arm as they moan ecstasy. “ Fox ! “ They whine, their walls clench harshly around him and it finally brings him to the edge. His fingers dig deep into their skin, almost drawing blood as he released inside them, hot cum splurging inside as he pumps out the rest of his high.

Panting inches away from the table made a mist on the cold metal, condensation moving like a water ripple. They swear, if they were to get up and on their legs, they’d be absolute jelly.

“ F-Fuck- “ They breathe, feeling the ache forming in their wrists. In response to their curse, they feel nips at their neck, before soft gentle kisses replace them. “ For someone that says they’re a top, you sure are one hell of a bottom, darling. “

Fox’s tease sends a gentle shiver down their spine. They huff at his tease, mumbling something in huttese, or was it ryl ?

“ What was that, Leralta ? “ He questions. The red heat returns to their face, a flushed mess across it. “ Noth-N-Nothing, “ They defend trying to make it seem like Fox hadn’t just turned them into a complete mess.

Feeling a shift of pressure caused them to swallow a gasp in their throat as he pulled out. A thick slow stream of white trails down their thighs, the sensation making them shiver. This is a completely new feeling. A fullness they’ve never experienced.

He is quick to shove himself back into his blacks before Jewels feel their underwear slip back up their thighs and back around their waist. Trapping the liquid from spilling any further, at least for now. It’s no pussy plug and will probably end up seeping through them.

“ Wait what- “ Before they can even protest it, their panties and pants are already slipped and snugged back around their hips. They grunt in slight discomfort as they get used to the feeling. He liked this, didn’t he ? Just knowing it’s going to be staying in cunt until they leave.

“ Really ? “ They ask annoyed as they hear him shuffle around behind them. “ Yes really. “ He replies as he fastens his codpiece back on, his voice isn’t very far away and they can’t see well behind them, either way.

“ You said about four months ago you have the implant, what’s the harm in indulging ? “ He asks, smugly. The fact he even remembers that is a bit, questionable. If anyone heard him he’d probably be questioned about it. But, the fact they just had sex on an interrogation table is probably what people would be more concerned about. Not the fact that Fox remembered they were on birth control.

“ Man you’re frustrating. “ They huffed as he walked back to his side of the interrogation table. “ I could say the same thing to you, “ He retorts with a small chuckle. They're glad he finds it amusing. The previous tense energy had left them both. They suppose their activity probably helped whatever was going on with Fox.

As his appearance made it back to their vision, they swear they can still see the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. A groan of discomfort and a cough comes out of them causing a form of concern on the clone's face as the nat-born human swallows to keep themselves from coughing more.

“ Did, did i go too hard ? Are you alright ? “ He asks with a genuine concern in his voice, and his eyes showing it too. “ No, I'm okay, just really dehydrated. “ They respond with a small laugh that turns back into a cough. Their smile doesn’t fade. They don’t know if they like aggressive Fox, or the usual teasing Fox better. Either way, they can’t say they dislike either side.

Without even talking about it or telling them, he puts a key from his pocket in between his lips holding it between his teeth as he grabs the cuffs around their wrists. Grabbing the key back he unlocks the cuffs and unravels the chain. As he uncuffs the second cuff, Jewel's face is contorted into confusion. Getting back on their legs they feel like jelly. They groan in discomfort as they finally are able to sit down. They almost wobble when they finally stand up, both legs feeling like jelly. It just takes a moment to adjust to the feeling of standing right on their feet.

He says nothing as he grabs the file from the table, and then his helmet and looks at them. “ Let’s go get you some water. “ He says, a gentleness in his eyes and a slight smile curved on his lips before it’s covered by the helmet once again. His fingers press buttons on the door putting in a passcode as the nat-born human stares at him with shock on their face.

As the door opens he looks back at them again, taking in the display in confusion riddled on their faces. “ Stay close, or i’ll have to cuff you again. “ Fox states before he takes a step out. Jewels is quick to follow. Even in the midst of their confusion, they understand exactly what he means and aren’t particularly inclined to feel cuffs around their wrists again.

Instead, they awkwardly continue after him, getting used to the weird sensation in their pants until it finally becomes bearable enough to walk down the hall and away from the interrogation rooms. They only got a small glimpse while walking by, but no one walked past them, nor were there any other prisoners in interrogation rooms. It led Jewels to wonder whether they had been the last interrogated, or that they were the Coruscant guards' main suspect. Or, more plausible, that Stone and Thorn had lied to them. They swallow what is left in their dry throat as they have a sudden realization. They had just admitted to the commander that they had been selling spice at a rave.

Step by step, it felt like the hallways drew out longer and longer until they almost bumped into the commander's back when he stopped. He seems to be contemplating something, but he eventually taps away at the control panel door and opens it, turning to the silver-haired nat-born human as he ushers them inside.

Inside the room was what one could only assume to be a break room. A small kitchen, a couple of tables, and plenty of off-duty men drinking kaf and talking. All of the clones were helmetless, and a few even had tattoos on their face or different hair styles. But what really caught their attention was a man whose armor alone was familiar enough to soothe Jewels ever-growing nerves.

“ Commander Thorn, “ They say with a small wave. They quietly tilted their head over toward where they assumed Fox was, but he’d walked over to the kitchen fridge and left Jewels standing by the now-closed door. Swallowing their nerves they walk over to Thorn, happy to see a familiar, well, armor set that now had an individual face. Though Thorn had two very distinct differences from any of his colleagues, and especially Fox. A three-scratched scar over his right eye, coupled with a cybernetic eye to match, had certainly caught their attention first. With his long and disheveled hair looked brushed and untamed as the trooper had been fixing his hair by tying it back into a bun.

“ Jewels, you’re a sight to see here. “ He says with a small smile, hands finally finished forgetting with his long locks. The nat born human only crossed their arms and smiled back as the shock trooper happily obliged to smile back. “ Fox said we should get some water. “ They reply simply as if it was a regular occurrence for them to be in the break room. This earned a raised brow from the clone and a knowing look in his eyes.

“ So he brought you to the break room instead of bringing you one instead ? “ Thorn muses as he takes a sip of his kaf. This only made Jewels face flush with heat as they struggled to find words.

“ It’s a complicated reason. “ Fox chimes in, handing a plastic water bottle to Jewels. They look over at him, and his face once again as his helmet rests at his side in his hands. Maker, they could look at his face for hours. But, instead, they only nod in agreement and open their water bottle.

“ Complicated, how ? “ Thorn asks with both hands on his mug, which is just a plain red mug. Jewels notice the way that Thorn and Fox share eye contact for almost a solid minute before breaking it. A chill runs up their spine as Thorn looks at them.

“ Trust me, I already know. I’m going to have to completely wipe the interrogation recorders audio. “ Thorn says, mumbling as he takes another sip of pure black kaf. Jewel’s face turns pale and blood runs cold as their hand clutched the water bottle in it, trying to process what he just said.

“ We’re gonna need you to re-record your confession anyways. Fox didn’t exactly follow protocol or rules. “ Thorn adds as he sets his mug down on the table beside him with a small glare from and to Fox.

Had Thorn heard the entire time ? The thought alone sent panic in their face as both clones were quick to notice. They feel a firm hand on their shoulder, their head almost snapping as they look up at Fox.

“ Breath, Leralta. “ He quickly comforts them, reassuring them that he has it under control. But Jewels wasn’t just panicked about the fact Thorn had supposedly heard everything, but that they had confessed and complied to give them a list of people they sold to, and where they get their spice from. They swallow as their eyes look back towards Thorn. Thorn’s eyes too displayed a softness, something they’ve never received with a helmet over their heads. Something they’ve never had the pleasure of seeing until now. Both brown-eyed gazes calm the fire in their chest as they take a deep breath.

“ Here, come sit. “ Thorn says as he gestures to the plenty of seats that Jewels could sit in, at the table. They take him up on the offer immediately, pulling a chair out and sitting down. Their legs still ached, and so did their head. They quickly finish off their water bottle and set the empty bottle on the table.

“ You . . . you heard all of it ? “ Jewels asked with hesitation in their voice, a tone of embarrassment in their voice as they finally did. Both of their elbows on the table as they fold over each other and blue eyes staring at the commander for an answer.

“ Not all of it. I disconnected about halfway. But, we still can’t show that audio for reports for obvious reasons. “ Thorn finally replies as Fox stands a bit between the two. Far enough away from the table but he sets his helmet next to Thorn’s while listening. Jewels only watch as Fox smacks his brothers upside the head. Jewels almost instinctively cover their mouth from seeing such violence but instead, only lightly flinches.

“ Di’kut, “ Fox said in a frustrated tone as Thorn stuck his tongue out at Fox. “ Hey, I did what you asked. You didn’t say anything about the interrogation recorder. “ Thorn defended himself as Fox sighs.

“ Plus, I was sort of worried you were going to kill ‘em. “ Thorn adds, his hand grabbing his mug again as Fox scoffs at his brother's inquiry.

“ I would never, and you know that. “ Fox hisses before he crosses his arms, his empty bottle in his own hand as he stares at his brother in frustration. All the while Jewels quietly watches and listens to the two, taking in the information and silently wishing they could form a coherent thought about it all. Just knowing he wouldn’t hurt them made Jewels feel all the more safe. As if his already muscular physique and features hadn’t already.

“ Well, you were kinda pissed after the whole report to the chancellor so I was worried you would do something stupid. “ Thorn mumbled almost as Fox shook his head. Now Jewels put the pieces together, why he had been so frustrated. Their hands ache to reach out to the commander and comfort him. But the moment has long passed, their mind slipping into a small corner as they tuck the feeling away.

“ Whatever, you want some kaf, Jewels ? We’ve got a long morning ahead of us. “ Fox sighs as he takes their water bottle from the table and goes to throw it in the trash. Jewels gives a small smile as they watch him, propping their elbow up and placing their chin into the palm of their hand.

“ Yeah, I take mine with creamer, do you got any of that ? “ Jewels asks with a smug smirk on their face as Fox looks at them, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head. A small smile of his own forms on his lips as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“ Cute, “ He replies to their comment, “ We got cream and sugar, how do you want it ? “ He muses. Jewels only shake their head as they can’t help the small heat creeping to their face as they look at his smile. He looks so content with himself, smiling like a dork. They like his smile, and they can feel the warmth of it in his eyes.

“ I’ll take it however you’ll give it to me. “

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sonofbhaal · 1 month ago

Text

headcanon - gale: mystra the bwitch and the folly of men

Hello, I've arrived in the fandom and immediately choose violence. Just kidding, I choose research and talking too much, as does my muse. I'll start this off by saying I disagree with the fandom take of Mystra "gro/oming" Gale due to various reasons, and it's important for my portrayal of Gale so thank you for coming to my TED talk. There's plenty wrong with their relationship, but that's a story for another day.

Here's what I've gathered so far that makes people think in this direction: a) they had a love affair when Gale was younger; b) she is the reason he had his little netherese magic mishap & folklore has it that Mystra likes to snatch little wizard boys for ambiguous reasons.

Okay, let's get into it. (And yes, I am using wikipedia as a source among other things, sue me. This is not an academic paper. Even if it kinda looks like one.)

Here's the literally TLDR (I don't want to call it an abstract): wizards are arrogant and at high risk to overestimate their abilities and importance in a grander scheme of things, so Mystra, as falling into the kind of feminism-inspired archetype of a witch, lays out the possibilty of greatness as a trap to test them and they tend to fail. Gale brought about his own doom and though Mystra had a hand in it, he chose it of his own volition and was not coerced into it. He was also 23/30 years old when he started sleeping with Mystra so I don't understand the collective desire to infantilize him.

a) Gale and Mystra's carnal relationship

Let's start with Gale's age. Gale was born in 1457 DR.

Now, there are two separate sources stating different years for Mystra's return but the core argument for Gale's age does not really change.

This is taken from the Magical Histories: The Spellplague and it suggests that Mystra was restored in 1480 DR, which would put Gale at 23 years old.

Alternatively, the Forgotten Realms Wiki states that Mystra was not restored to power until 1487 DR. Which puts Gale at 30 years minimum when he and Mystra had their relationship.

He wasn't a child, he wasn't a teenager, he was 30 years old. (Or 23. Either way, an adult by all laws and standards.) I suppose one could argue that Mystra (or rather Mystryl at that point) had reached out to him prior to her return, as she did with Elminster, but in my opinion that's not what Gale's story suggests. This also means that Gale's time with Mystra may have been pretty short, because in 1492 DR the events of BG3 start, which was only 5 years after Mystra's return/reincarnation (if we go by the wiki). This is the bit I am undecided about at present and I'm almost leaning toward making him 23 when she started mentoring him, simply because the nature of their relationship makes it sound like more than 5 years have passed. 12 years is not much for a goddess but it would leave a notable influence on Gale's life - and give him actual time to learn and grow enough to impress Mystra into paying attention to him in the first place. It also sounds like he's been without her but with the orb in his chest for a while, so maybe their affair lasted 5ish years and then he was alone for 2 prior to the game storyline.

With that said, a 5-12 year relationship with a grown and consenting adult is not behavior that I would describe as gro/oming. Even if there's a power imbalance (due to god - mortal) and even if there are elements of not-so-kosher intentions involved. Which leads me to..

b) Mystra the WITCH - a somewhat feminist reading

Here's what Minsc said about Mystra that has a lot of people's alarm bells going off:

Weave-touched boys were hidden away, trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth I thought it born of caution after some catstrophe wrought by wizardly (?) menfolk of old. Now I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm? Oh, this suggests that Mystra has never tempted a witch into foolishness. Not that I would blaspheme by suggesting otherwise.

Okay. I understand why this sounds wrong as hell when you're already thinking in that direction. But let me offer you a different interpretation for Mystra and what she symbolizes in this case specifically, and please note that I could write a whole paper about Mystra's symbolism but this will be a one-sided reading because I am focusing on her in constrast to Gale, not her as a character by herself.

[Preface: I am not claiming that Mystra represents female liberation, it's just an aspect necessarily tied to the point I'm about to make about her connection to male wizards.]

Mystra - or Mystryl - is an inherently female character, in my opinion, as understood in literary history (not in a modern philosophical way), and more specifically she is inspired by the archetype of the witch; however, trapped between the old archetype - the evil temptress witch who corrupts and attacks good pious men and the (good) "patriarchy" - and the modernized version - the untamed free woman who opposes and threatens the (bad) "patriarchy". This could be in part because DnD was created in the 70s and the sources speaking of Mystryl that I found are from the 90s as well, so her character is bound to have changed up to the creation of BG3 in 2023. And because our narrator in this specific story is a man.

Some quotes that I find useful for this discussion from a thesis:

"The figure of the witch mirrors—albeit sometimes in distorted form—the many images and selfimages of feminism itself." (Source, page 12)

and about the "witch" as a character type in literary history in general:

In other words, the feminists that participated in the creation and dissemination of the myth did so because of its significance as a story that offered an alternative to male-centred history. Purkiss (2003) sustains that the reason why it is significant is that it allows the readers to distinguish the roles of the characters very easily. The myth outlines a story with a clear opposition between men —the oppressors, the bad ones— and women —the victims, the good ones.

Make of that what you will. I am not here to make a point for or against feminism in literature - the idea of it as a basis for Mystra's archetype is simply necessary to get to my point of what she represents in Gale's story. Look at how Mystryl's character is described in the FR wiki:

This is very reminiscent of how authors and philosophers have written about women in the past - fickle nature, capricious, irrational, but also innocent, dedicated and emotional. Going in to that would reach too far here, but historically women used to represent emotion and impulse whereas men represented logic and reason. This description of Mystryl sounds like it was written in the 18th century by a man who is confused by femininity.

Normally I would say Mystra is inspired by Hecate but this point is a little tricky to make considering DnD lore has its own version of Hecate. However I'll still dump it here, because DnD Hecate is a very negative reading of her myth, as she is a chaotic evil goddess not native to Faerûn. That said, a quote about a modern interpretation of Hecate:

In women's eyes, Hecate holds positive intent, though to men she can be destructive. Hecate is the Goddess invoked by women who desired freedom from male tyranny. The goddess Hecate is presented as a resistor of the male and patriarchal. [...] Within mythology, Hecate is deemed too fearful (to men) to be provided with a husband, and thus represents female sovereignty and freedom. Moreover, Hecate shares gifts of magic, inspiration and understanding and governs the creative, unconscious mind; she offered women the power of awakening or dampening male desire and can curse conquerors or unjust rulers. (Source)

Two things I find important here: 1) she is not evil but she can be destructive to men, which is my main point in this entire ramble and 2) she shares magic and understanding with both men and women, but does not tolerate when they overreach - which I'd argue targets male wizards, such as, in our case, Gale. I think she can be destructive because in addition to the witch, Mystryl/Mystra holds elements of the archetype of the temptress.

Here's one take on that archetype from an article on literary devices:

Although allurement is the key element of a temptress archetype, some of her character traits are unique for such a lady. She has her beauty to add to her allurement with seduction, intelligence, and wit to help her in her beauty. [...] However, it is interesting to note that the negativity with her title does not match her real character, as she could have positive character traits despite being a temptress. [...] It seems that she lures characters to her, causing them to be blind to the danger lurking in her. [...] This allurement lies in her femininity and sexuality.

Another inspiration for my take on this is a fun source for a change, one of my favorite songs from Karliene, titled "Witch". Aside from being a banger, this song has lyrics that describe a very specific aspect of men's relationship towards "witches" and how they're seen and treated as evil and deranged and yet desirable (implied) for reasons so extensive they'd blow up the scope of this already too long post.

You’re a foul heathen A demon of malevolence Venomous bitch, old witch You’re the reason for all our sins[...] Vile succubus How you beguiled And defiled my innocence You’re a bitch, you’re a witch You’re the reason for all my sins

The man accusing the witch in this story/song is not even hiding his own transgression: "succubus", "defiled my innocence" and "you're the reason for all our sins" implies that he sinned but instead of taking accountability for his actions, he blames it entirely on her as the archetypical temptress. This is the type of man that Mystra's temptation targets, the type of man her "snares" are created for. (Though not all of them are necessarily vile enough to want to execute her/the temptress for it. It's a concept of male self-importance, not a defined character trait.)

And this is what I think Mystra represents in the context of Gale's story. She showed him a path to greatness, great knowledge and power but she didn't force him to walk it. She even denied him when he asked to gain more access. Yet he chose to do it anyway and it led to his downfall and her punishment. So is Mystra entirely innocent in Gale's fall? No. I believe she has tempted him - and other men before him - to seek more knowledge and more power and eventually fall to their doom, because it was never meant for them; but instead of recognizing that and accepting their place, they all fell victim to their own hubris and self-importance. As did Gale. Even if he says he did it to impress her, he first and foremost thought of himself. He wanted the knowledge and the magic and the proof that he can walk on spheres meant for gods alone. And he had a rude awakening.

If anything, this is what I think Mystra does to "young wizard boys" and what her danger really is. It's not about her seducing young wizards for her own sexual interests - though in some cases her relationship to them may take on this nature because temptation and seduction historically looks a specific way in art and literature - but about luring and seducing them into revealing their own arrogance and hubris and falling victim to it. Which is a not a nice thing to do, but it's a very different thing from what the fandom makes her out to be. They could also resist, but within their inability to resist lies the reason for Mystra's justification for doing it in the first place.

*In addition and to place some more responsibility on Mystra: she might also like to see if they can rise to a certain power, but if they do she loses interest. And if they can't then it proves a point. None of what I wrote is meant to present Mystra as a nice goddess - I just find the way she is spoken about kind of misses the mark. She has obvious flaws but I see them in other places.

I'm so sorry, what a nightmare to read. If you made it this far, have some chocolate: 🍫

#( m: gale. )#( meta. )#( gale: meta. )#i hate life #this took me so long to write #i could have done something fun

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lavenderpanic · 1 year ago

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Your disclaimer does not mean anything when this is what you put in your writing:

Starvation is not a punishment in kink. Even someone who doesn’t know about kink knows that. Or isnt “educated” as you said. Food restriction and weight is not part of kink.

That is not what somnophilia is, because he did not consent.

Bucky was sixteen (underage) and Brock didn’t know. Is that his fault?

And the club let underage Bucky inside which is not how kink clubs work.

A quote from a chapter. “Bucky shrugs. “Technically an acronym, but sure. Honestly, Brock and I kind of do our own thing, so I really don’t know if either of us would call it that, but that’s… the general term, I suppose. I had this… this period of a few months, I guess, a few years ago, when I was super anxious and withdrawn and… I just wasn’t in a good headspace. I kinda felt attracted to the thought of dominance and submission and all that because it felt like a safe way to cope with my anxiety, and I met Brock at a club and… and it’s just been us since then. Nobody’s ever understood me like he does. A lot of people look at me like I’m crazy or weird, but Brock never thought that. It’s like… a balanced scale, kinda. He’s my counterweight, just as strong in the opposite direction.” This is not what kink is and it is not why poeple get into kink. This is false information and does not represent the community.

He has a safe word but Brock does not listen to it. Bucky should know that this is not how safe words work.

There are so many examples. You are corellating abuse and kink and that is dangerous for people who are actually in the community. Being abused does not excuse you.

I've been staring at this for like an hour and I just... like I'm genuinely at a loss for words. This is so incredibly weird. Like, I feel so weird right now, this is so creepy. I don't even think I know my fic well enough to pull fucking examples like this out of my ass why the fuck are you so weirdly obsessed??

Food restriction can 100% be a part of a TPE. Again, I've got weird and mixed-up feelings about it, but it isn't like... absurdly uncommon. But also, like... Bucky has anorexia. Brock knows this. Brock is abusing him. Brock is not like... conforming to BDSM rules or practices or whatever. I really don't know what you aren't understanding about this. I'm not saying that food restriction = abuse or what Brock is doing = a normal part of BDSM.

The fic is tagged "non-consensual somnophilia." It is not tagged "somnophilia." I don't even use that word in-text, I'm pretty sure. AGAIN, I feel weird about somnophilia, but if that's part of your dynamic and it's consensual WHATEVER IDCCCCC I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUUUUU.

Brock knows Bucky is underage before they do anything together sexually. He also coerces Bucky the first time they meet, regardless of his age. Yup, it's Brock's fault.

Clubs will let in people who are 18. This is a fact. Like I said in the fic, they mark that Bucky is <21 and can't drink. He has a fake ID which says he is 18.

That quote is actually inspired by my own experience, and I know I'm not the only person who felt that way. I don't claim to represent every person involved in the community. I never have. This is one person's story. You can't just make a blanket statement like "this isn't why people get into kink" because you're just fucking wrong.

Bucky knows this isn't how safewords work. He is abused and assaulted. He is being abused. He is being manipulated. You said you were older than me but your reading comprehension skills are like kindergarten level.

Nothing I have written is dangerous for any community (idk except maybe abusers?) and I have absolutely no clue why you would think so. I'm not claiming to represent an entire community. I am sharing my experience. I am writing one person's story. Fact of the matter is, there are many people involved in kink who take advantage of people who are new to kink because they can be so easy to manipulate and coerce and push past their boundaries. If you're saying I'm wrong, then you're either so fucking dumb I'm genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, or you're a predator or someone who excuses them. YOUUUU are the one sharing gross misinformation.

Go fuck yourself, genuinely. I'm blocking you and every other account you make and I'm not giving you my attention anymore. I have actual real-life problems and I really don't have the mental capacity at the moment to deal with shit like this. This is the one true safe space I still have in my life. I can't imagine how fucking miserable and alone you have to be to spend your fucking time making anonymous fucking accounts and antagonizing someone trying to bring awareness to victims of DV?? What the actual fuck is your deal? Go get a fucking job or volunteer or get a hobby you miserable piece of shit.

#tw abuse mention #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3

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haleigh-sloth · 2 years ago

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I cut this ask into two parts because this top part is....idk. I can't ignore it. So, I'm seeing this topic all around today, not just in my inbox.

I'm honestly a little confused. The manga strongly implies....honestly it goes beyond implications at this point, that Rei was not in agreement with Natsuo and Shouto. I mean....she literally was arguing saying it's not a good idea, and too cruel, and pointing out how Endeavor's plan is affecting the two kids they already have.

Then, when does she agree?

After showing us this terrified look on her face. I could go back and watch how the episode handled it and see if they truly removed that implication from the scene, but actually I won't even refer to the anime for this. Refer to the source material, because she looked fucking terrified and disturbed by her husband in that moment, and next thing we see is two babies, and an exhausted, clearly on the verge of losing her shit Rei.

I do think the terms of consent for the first two are debatable. There is a whole other discussion to be had about Rei's "choice" to accept the marriage proposal. I've seen very decent points made about how it could go either or on the consent train there from the get go.

What I'll say I agree with is that Touya and Fuyumi were not coerced out of her out of fear. They were the result of an arrangement she stepped into (again, consent in this area is debatable and just an entire other discussion that doesn't belong here).

Natsuo and Shouto though--I don't know what else Hori could have done to portray the horrific preceding circumstances to their births, aside from showing more detailed insight into Rei's head, making the manga much, much darker than I think Hori was willing to go. It's not subtle, it's not hard to figure out.

Natuso and Shouto were CLEARLY born into a different atmosphere than the first two. There is just....no debating that.

I do not agree anon. I'm sorry but I don't view the circumstances that preceded Natsuo's and Shouto's births as those of Rei being in agreement. That is, beyond agreeing to maintain her end of the deal. Which still, you can see the difference before her "holding up her end" when Touya and Fuyumi were born and when Natsuo and Shouto were born.

Former child welfare worker (an investigator no less) here in the US--the system here is shit.

I can confidently say without a doubt that, remove all the super power aspects of the Todoroki household from the equation, and you have a case of emotional abuse and neglect that the system would have pretty much no authority over. That is, unless Touya's self-harm was discovered by someone who was willing to report it (and even then, not much the system can or will do about it besides order the family to get MH services), or until Touya's death.

Yeah, idk. It really sucks. And I don't take anybody seriously who has these takes because they clearly have no idea what they're fucking talking about, and that's not my problem.

As someone who works with these situations often, has been involved in the midst of some nasty cases, and is uhh pretty heavily educated and trained in these areas--it's really hard for me to engage with people who just...want to say things to sound smart or trying to make some kind of "gotcha" point. I can't take a lot of takes about Rei seriously--those that demonize her AS WELL AS those that absolve her in the like--I can't listen to a lot of people talk about Touya either. I literally have 0 patience for it.

#tw abuse #todoroki enji #todoroki rei #todoroki touya #dabi #todofam #anonymous #bnha asks

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redactedthegreat · 2 years ago

Text

Thirsting

This work is heavily inspired by the writing of Katie Oslow, and consequently it is a bit darker than my usual writing.CW: forced transformation, abusive relationships, coerced consent. If you like this story, please read her books, they're fantastic: https://www.darkfantasymedia.com/books/gender-benders

"You're breaking up with me because I don't let you fuck me every day!?" Anna exclaimed, her face was livid.

"Well, maybe not every day." Greg said, scratching the back of his head. He felt awful, but a man has needs. "I just need more than I've been getting." He said, wincing at how it sounded as soon as the words left his mouth. He felt like a pig.

She didn't seem too hurt by his confession though, behind the angry expression she actually looked secretly pleased, like she was about to win a game. It made Greg feel uneasy.

"I was betting that's how you felt." Anna said vaguely, letting the anger out of her voice.

Greg had no idea what she meant, but his feeling of unease deepened. He gulped. His mouth felt dry, he glanced around for his drink but saw he'd finished it. He'd come over to Anna's place to talk about their relationship, was she saying she knew he was about to dump her?

"Want a refill?" Anna offered, lifting the bottle of wine they'd been sharing. She was standing at the edge of the kitchen, and Greg was seated on her sofa.

Despite his thirst, something in the way she offered put him off. Greg shook his head and declined.

Anna looked at the bottle like she was reading the label. "Did I mention this wine is medicated?" She asked, with that vague voice again. It was giving Greg the creeps.

"Um, no." He said, feeling a bit nervous. He knew Anna interned at a medical research facility, but he couldn't guess as to why she'd be sharing medicated wine with him.

"It's a little experiment I decided to try. A nanobot cocktail I brewed up with the equipment from work." She swirled the wine bottle and luxuriated in the suspense.

Greg was on the edge of his seat. He knew the experiments at her lab could get pretty serious, but she'd always been tight lipped about the specifics. What on earth could she have dosed him with? He felt a discomfort deep in his balls.

"Oh, don't worry, it's not going to hurt you. I can get you a deactivation shot when the lab opens on Monday." She reassured him, though something in her words sounded hollow. "It's really just a couple of minor modifications."

"What sort of modifications?" Greg asked, increasingly nervous. It was only Friday night. Even if they fixed it on Monday, he'd need to survive the weekend.

"Like a little patch of skin in the back of your throat, and another deep in your ass. I can feel mine growing in now. Just a tiny bit of oviductal tissue linked into your central nervous system."

"Huh?" Greg had no idea what she was talking about, but it sounded scary, and his throat felt even more dry than before.

"It reacts to the presence of sperm." Anna explained. "These patches are linked into our nerves, we'll be able to feel when it's triggered."

"So I'm growing sperm detectors in my mouth and ass?" Greg was upset, and a bit grossed out, but so far it seemed more weird than life altering.

"I guess you could put it that way." she said, then she winced a bit. "It also innervates existing 'sperm detectors' in the female reproductive system. It's supposed to feel really good when they're activated. I was hoping it could encourage me to have more sex." She almost seemed embarrassed talking about it.

"What else did you change?" Greg asked.

"Well, our livers are gaining the ability to produce more nanobots. We'll basically have a little internal factory ready to fix us up." She said, resting her hand over her belly.

Greg could feel a churning in his own stomach, but he wasn't sure if it was the nanobots or his nerves. "You're lying, this can't be real." He said, attempting to call her bluff. If they had this sort of tech he was sure he would have heard about it.

"No, it's all true Greg." Anna assured him. "You can test it if you don't believe me."

It took Greg a moment to put together what she was saying. "You want me to drink my own cum? Or should I hurt myself to 'activate the nanobots'?"

That suppressed smile came back to Anna's lips. "That wouldn't work, the nanobots are only activated by a lack of semen."

"A lack of what!?" Greg was completely incredulous now. This all sounded absurd to him.

"If a day passes without your body detecting cum, your liver will release a burst of nanobots in your sleep." She said it so earnestly it was hard not to believe her, but it still didn't make sense to him.

"Nanobots to do what? Repair the lack of sperm?"

"Kind of, yeah. They will attempt to cure whatever you feel is your biggest obstacle." She replied simply.

"That sounds impossible, how could nanobots know something like that?" Before she had time to answer Greg asked another question. "And if all that is true, how the heck am I supposed to 'test it'?"

"I figure you have three options: swallow some sperm, put it up your butt, or wait to see what happens if you don't." Anna replied flatly. Greg was speechless.

"I know that's not a satisfying answer." She continued. "And I'm sorry you got exposed to this. I really should be more careful with my experiments."

"Of all the bullshit you've told me tonight, that's the least believable." Greg said getting up from the sofa. "Either you've actually poisoned me with nanobots, or this is some sort of elaborate revenge prank for breaking up with you. Either way, I'm sure it was on purpose."

"Believe what you want, but we're in this together now. If you still want the deactivation shot you can visit the lab on Monday. Now please get out of my house."

Greg left in a huff and trudged his way home through the late evening light. He had expected the conversation to be hard, but he hadn't expected things to get so weird. He figured she must just be messing with his head, trying to get him to consider the expectations he put on her or something. He didn't have the patience for it.

As soon as he got home he poured a glass of water and gulped it down. As little as he believed Anna's story about the nanobots, he wasn't about to drink anything else at her place.

Greg drank a couple more glasses of water, but he still felt thirsty. Well, not exactly thirsty, but a dryness at the back of his throat. He tried not to think about it as he went about his night, but by the time he was ready to sleep the thirst was becoming unbearable. He could even feel it in his ass, like an itchy craving behind his prostate.

Either the nanobots were real, or he'd been hypnotized by the power of suggestion. Regardless, he had reached a point of desperation where he didn't care. Greg was willing to drink his own cum just for the chance it might make it stop.

He jerked off hastily, scrolling through porn on his phone. The craving made it hard to concentrate, but he was relentless. He just kept stroking until he felt the start of an orgasm creep up.

Greg lined a shot glass up with the tip of his dick just as he reached climax, hoping to catch his load in a convenient container, but the orgasm passed and nothing came out. His dick twitched and convulsed, the feeling came and went, but nothing came out. Not even a drop.

He held the empty shot glass to the light in frustration. Something had definitely been put in that wine.

He decided to text Anna, clearly there were things she wasn't telling him: "So now I can't ejaculate? What else did you change?"

He waited impatiently for a response. Every minute felt like an eternity, but soon his phone pinged with a reply: "Oh no! That wasn't supposed to happen. I guess we're really in the same predicament now, these cravings are more than I bargained for. I need to find a guy fast. If I run into any attractive gays I'll send them your way."

Greg's face flushed with anger, he thumbed out a response as fast as he could: "Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I'm not gay, and I don't want you to set me up with a sperm donor. I'm fine waiting until Monday."

"Suit yourself." Was her only reply. Greg tossed the phone onto his bed in frustration. What the hell was wrong with her? First she drugged him with nanobots, then she tried to set him up with a guy.

This must be some sort of revenge ploy, but it was all so confusing. It pissed him off thinking about her heading out to have sex, when a lack of sex is why he broke up with her. But he couldn't exactly offer to satisfy her tonight, he wasn't even able to satisfy himself.

Greg took a deep breath. He had to relax. This spiral of self pity was getting him nowhere. The only thing preventing him from satisfying his craving was his inability to ejaculate. If the nanobots worked like Anna said they did, it only made sense to think that would be the first thing they'd fix. He just needed to clear his mind and calm down.

That was easier said than done when it felt like he was starving. He could get to sleep for a few moments, tossing and turning, but then he'd be awake again, thirsty as ever.

After a couple hours of this he got a new text from Anna: "Having a pussy is the best! You need to use your ass or your mouth every day, but he pumped one load in my vagina and now I'm satisfied until Monday. I even got to cum in the process."

"Why are you telling me this?" Greg responded, somewhat disturbed.

"Just letting you know what you've got to look forward to." She said, attaching a photo of her crotch. Her legs were spread, and a small glob of semen was leaking out of her.

"You're sick." Greg replied. This all seemed so unreal.

"You're the one with the dysfunctional junk, my parts work just fine." She responded, and then sent a video immediately after.

Greg hesitated a moment, he could tell from the thumbnail that the video was focused on her pussy, but his curiosity got the better of him and he hit play:

Anna appeared to be inserting a realistic-looking dildo into herself while lecturing from off-camera.

"More than a hundred million years of evolution have gone into making this vagina the perfect place for a guy to cum." She pushed the dildo deep, up to its artificial balls, and then pulled it out a bit.

"It's self lubricating, self cleaning, and it can keep sperm alive for like five days." She was really working the dildo now. It was already messy with her fluids, and now he was noticing strands of semen as well, leftover from whatever guy she'd just slept with.

"Seriously Greg, it feels so good to satisfy that craving, it gives me such a buzz now. I can feel his sperm inside me, and it feels fucking incredible." It sounded like she was about to orgasm. He could see her pussy start to throb around the toy.

Wait, how was this video so long?

Greg woke up in a cold sweat. Apparently he had finally got to sleep. He checked his phone to see how long it had been since the video, but the last message he'd received from Anna was "Suit yourself." The entire pussy conversation had been a dream.

It was already early morning, he had slept through the night. Greg yawned and rubbed his eyes. Despite his fitful sleep, he actually felt pretty good. It dawned on him that the awful thirsty feeling had totally vanished. For a moment he even wondered if it had been real in the first place.

That wasn't the only thing that had vanished in the night though. When he reached under his boxers to adjust himself, he discovered that things had changed between his legs.

Greg's dick and balls were completely gone. His fingers only found pubic hair and the lips of his mound. He groped at his new flatness for a moment, struggling to understand what had happened. Suddenly he was very awake.

He got out of bed, turned on the light, and took off his boxers. He could tell just from the sensations he felt in those movements that this was all too real. No dream or suggestion could have felt so complete.

Greg looked down at his crotch and marveled for a moment at his total lack of a penis. Where it had once poked out there was now only skin and pubes, like it had been erased from his body. Below that, where his balls should have been, there was just a crack. It was like his genitals had vanished and the skin to every side had closed around the void.

In his mind though, he still felt like he had a dick. Looking at his flat crotch confused the feeling. He felt a sort of horny pang of longing concentrated just under his mound, at the top of his slit. He moved a finger in to prod around. His lips felt warm and slippery. His fingertip slid up until he reached the source of that feeling.

When Greg's finger made contact with his clit, the sudden shock of sensation made him stumble and nearly fall over. He sat on the bed for a moment to regain his composure. It felt like his dick had been transformed into a horny little jellybean.

It was in this moment of self-assessment that Greg realized how badly he needed to pee. He rushed into the bathroom and was reminded again of how he no longer had a penis.

Greg lowered the toilet seat and sat down, feeling a rush of shame around his current situation. He'd felt so smart about his plan last night, and now look at him. This was no small change, his anatomy had been altered to the point he had to sit down to take a leak. He'd be dealing with this multiple times every day for who knows how long.

He peed for a while, he'd drank a lot of water the night before. "I should have pissed before I went to bed." Greg mumbled to himself. "Now the last memory I have with my dick is that sad attempt to jerk off." He hadn't properly appreciated it at the time, but he really liked the way his cock felt when he stroked it. The memory sent a new pang of longing through his clit. Greg tried not to think about it.

When he wiped himself, Greg noticed something stringy stuck to the toilet paper. He spread his legs and leaned over to investigate. He used his hands to spread his pussy lips apart so he could get a better view. The stringy stuff seemed to be coming from a hole near the bottom, which Greg assumed must be his vaginal opening.

He touched a finger to the spot and felt his slick hole part around it. He dipped his finger in just a little then pulled it out. He found the sensation completely bizarre and unsettling, but perversely erotic at the same time. On the tip of his finger was more of the stringy white goo. He was pretty certain it was semen, but how did it get into his vagina?

A perverse curiosity ran through his mind. How did he know it was semen? Didn't Anna say he could detect it with his throat? He felt an impulse to suck on his finger, just to see what would happen. Would he even be able to feel it with his needs already satisfied?

Before he could overthink it, Greg went for it. He stuck his finger into his mouth and sucked it down. The burst of sensation as the glob passed his throat was dizzying. He was glad to be sitting down. "Oh fuck." He murmured, as his body was gripped in what felt like a long shallow orgasm. It made his legs quiver and his mouth water. The feeling quickly began to fade, and then passed entirely with his next swallow. "Well, that seems pretty conclusive." Greg grunted to himself as he regained his composure.

He finished up in the bathroom and retrieved his phone. "We need to talk." He texted Anna. Then he got dressed and went out to eat.

Despite the shocking discovery of his new genitals earlier that morning, Greg was feeling good. He couldn't explain why, he just did. It almost felt like he'd just had a couple shots of liquor, but with none of the wooziness or incoordination.

He walked into his favorite diner and got a table that wasn't near anyone else. He ordered some food and looked out the window. It didn't take long for Anna to respond, and she agreed to meet him for breakfast.

Greg tried to focus on planning what to say while he waited, but his mind kept wandering back to the place between his legs where so much had changed.

Since waking up he'd been in a perpetual state of horny-but-content. Even now, sitting at the restaurant, he could feel he was aroused, but he felt no urgency to do anything about it. It was just a warm, tingly, slippery feeling humming away in his secret crevice.

It was a new feeling for Greg, and it felt more than a little bizarre to him, but he couldn't help finding some enjoyment in it. If he focused on it, it almost felt like his dick was buried deep in pussy. When he squeezed his legs together or shifted around in his seat he could even feel it more strongly.

Soon it occurred to him that the horny little bean that had taken the place of his penis was buried in pussy, his own pussy. He could even feel his clit stiffen slightly as he got increasingly turned on, like an itty bitty erection. He tried to flex his clit like he used to flex his dick, but those muscles now seemed to pull on something deeper inside him. His clit was stationary. More a spot than an appendage.

Greg was thankful for the distraction of food once his breakfast arrived. He tried to just focus on eating and relaxing himself.

Anna got there as Greg was finishing his pancakes. When he saw Anna walk in, even though he should have been furious, his first reaction was to enthusiastically wave her over.

"Hello Greg." Anna said. She seemed to be in a much worse mood than he was. Greg felt a wave of guilt wash over him for dumping her the previous day, though a large part of him felt quite strongly that she was the one who should feel guilty right now.

"These pancakes are really good." He said, attempting to act casual.

Anna gave him a quizzical look and sat down in the booth across from him. "Is that what you called me down here to talk about, the pancakes?"

"Um, no." Greg admitted while chewing. Anna waited for him to finish what he'd eaten and continue. "We need to talk about that 'medicated wine' you drugged me with." He cleaned his face and watched her reaction, or lack thereof.

"What do you mean?" Her face was placid.

"You know what I mean." Greg was getting agitated. "It changed more than you said it would. A lot more. Not just 'minor modifications' either."

"Really?" At mention of additional changes her placid expression broke into mild curiosity. "Are you referring to your difficulty ejaculating?"

She didn't lower her voice at all. Greg quickly checked if anyone was in earshot. The diner was noisy enough he was sure nobody could hear them, but he still felt awkward discussing it in public.

"No." Greg hissed, then lowered his voice. "I grew a vagina last night."

"Like, under your balls?" Anna had likewise lowered her voice, but she didn't seem too shocked by his revelation. She only seemed more curious.

"No." Greg said again, even quieter. "Like, in place of."

"Oh my." Anna said, showing a flicker of that annoying smile. "So you're like me now, down there?"

She asked with a tone of compassion, but Greg felt too humiliated by the question to say anything. He just gave a quick nod and took a long drink of coffee.

"Oh Greg, I'm so sorry." Her voice oozed with sympathy, but Greg didn't buy it for a second.

"Yeah right, you knew this was going to happen!" He accused her.

"I promise I didn't, really." She assured him. "I mean, I have heard of genital reconstruction with nanobots resulting in things like this, but that was always in cases of extreme damage. You just had an issue ejaculating."

"That was because of your nanobots. I had no problem at all before you drugged me." Greg was getting a bit agitated.

"Alright, okay, I hear what you're saying. And that is possible. I just don't see any reason why the program we ingested would do something like that." Anna said diplomatically.

"Well you didn't see a reason why it would give me a pussy, but it did. You didn't expect it to give us such powerful cravings, and how's that working out for you?" At the question Anna looked down at the table with an expression of discomfort. Greg continued. "There seems to be a lot about this 'experiment' you didn't see a reason for, so I don't think it's a big leap to say it caused my problem."

"Like I said, it's possible." Anna replied, becoming stoic. "It also seems possible to me that it was a coincidence. We should run some tests to get to the bottom of things on Monday."

"No way is that a coincidence." Greg responded hotly. "And no way am I going to become your guinea pig."

"I understand, and that's up to you. Nobody will force you into any sort of testing or treatment." She reassured him, adopting an almost clinical tone. "And for the record, I did see a reason for the nanobots to change you how they did, I just didn't expect it to happen."

"What on earth is the reason?" Greg demanded. "I should have woke up this morning with an easy, renewable supply of sperm; but your nanobots decided it would be better for me to grow a pussy!?" As they talked, their hushed conversation had become gradually louder, and it was around this moment their waitress stopped by the table to check in.

"I'm just going to give you two a few more minutes." She said quickly as she rushed off to check on other customers.

There was an awkward moment of silence before Anna responded softly. "You said it yourself, your balls were full of sperm. The nanobots needed a way to get that sperm into contact with sperm-sensitive tissue. They must have given you a female reproductive system to solve that problem."

Greg hated when she talked in that way that made him feel stupid. He also hated how long it had taken for him to realize the semen inside him this morning was his own. "But how does that make any sense?" He pressed her.

"I don't know for sure, and it could be we never do. It's possible some jealousy or envy of the female form guided the nanobots, or-"

Greg cut her off. "What do you mean, are you saying I secretly wanted to wake up without a cock?"

"No, not at all. The nanobots are only concerned with improving your ability to contact sperm. It could be that after our conversation you felt some sort of jealously around my sexual options, maybe the nanobots picked up on that and interpreted your dick as a limitation."

Last night's dream flashed through Greg's mind. It was uncanny how much her guess lined up with dream-Anna's arguments. "Hmm. What was the other thing, before I interrupted?"

"Or" Anna repeated, patiently retracing her train of thought. "There could have been something actually wrong with your male parts. A cancer or infection that interfered with ejaculation. It's possible the nanobots saw this change as a sort of treatment."

"Seems a bit drastic." Greg said, downing the last of his coffee.

"We've noticed they have trouble repairing male genitalia after extensive damage. Like I mentioned, something like this has been observed before. The nanobots seem to prefer to rebuild from a female template. It's something we're working on understanding."

Greg rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure there was nothing wrong with my dick before you messed with it, but I suppose that's as good an answer as I'll get." He tidied up the table and got ready to leave. "At least there's a silver lining to this thing: I'm done worrying about those awful cravings until Monday, at which point you should be able to turn them off, right?"

"Well, yes to the last part. But how are you done until Monday?" Anna asked curiously.

Greg got the sinking feeling that he'd said something wrong. "Sperm can live in the vagina for like five days, right?"

"More like three days in the vagina. They can live up to six in your fallopian tubes, if conditions are right, and that's where your oviductal tissue is. But the bigger issue for the cravings is sensory adaptation. A constant signal will fade into the background. The reward feeling should last for about twelve hours, and you shouldn't feel any cravings tonight, but by Sunday you'll be back where you started."

"Oh." She had said a lot of words, and Greg understood some of them. The important part seemed to be that he'd bought himself a lot less time than he had hoped. At the very least he'd make sure to be prepared the next time the cravings kicked in. "By the way, how did you manage last night, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ugh." Anna sighed, she looked genuinely miserable for a moment. "I couldn't find a hook-up, and I felt like I was about to lose my mind. Thankfully a friend from college came through with something to tide me over." She reached into her jacket and pulled out a flask, opened the lid and took a quick swig. She got a nasty look on her face for a moment, like she'd bit a lemon.

"It's a weird drink she mixed up and asked her boyfriend to fertilize. She claims it should last the weekend, but it's already starting to taste funky." She gave a little shiver as she put the flask away. "At least the after-buzz is fun." She continued. "That little happy-horny feeling you get as it goes down. You've probably been feeling it all morning."

Greg felt a bit embarrassed that she knew about that, but he was glad to better understand the cause and effect of his elevated mood. He just smiled a little and shrugged.

"Here, take this." Anna said abruptly, reaching into her purse and handing Greg a small black pouch. "You should probably wash it, and it needs a charge soon." She added.

Greg peaked into the pouch and recognized a small vibrator, he remembered using it on her a few times while they were dating. He didn't realize she kept it with her so casually.

"Um, thanks." He said, unsure how to accept such a strange gift from his ex-girlfriend.

"I really am sorry such a big change has been thrust on you. I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make things right." She looked utterly sincere. It was difficult for Greg to stay angry with her.

"I'll survive." He replied simply. He put down money for the meal, including a sizable tip, then started to get up.

"Text me if you need anything. I'm sure I could get another batch of special-juice if I ask nicely." Anna assured as they parted ways.

"Thanks, but I think I'd rather figure things out on my own." Greg responded. He had very little interest in drinking his ex-girlfriend's former classmate's boyfriend's semen mixed into a gross concoction.

Greg went home and tried to get his head straight. He just needed to make it through the weekend, and he was already satisfied until Sunday. That gave him two days to find one more dose of sperm; he felt like that wasn't so bad.

As much as the prospect of ingesting more sperm grossed him out, he really didn't want to wait out another night like the one before. Discomfort aside, the risk of nanobots changing him in his sleep again was terrifying. He could only imagine what they'd decide to 'fix' next time.

Though that did raise the question of where to put it. He really wasn't comfortable with putting anything up his butt, so that was out. But between his mouth and vagina, he was less certain.

There was a major ick-factor for him in the idea of having a penis that close to his face. He also wasn't interested in having to taste it. The experiment from this morning had verified much of what he had suspected about the flavor and consistency of semen, and he would rather avoid more of that.

On the other hand, he was also uncomfortable with the idea of someone fucking his vagina. He tried to imagine a guy on top of him, with Greg on his back, legs spread wide; or pounding him from behind, while he took it on all fours; none of it seemed realistic or enjoyable. He even struggled to imagine riding a dick, it just felt so invasive and strange to his mind.

He laid back on his bed and sighed. There wasn't much urgency to solve it right away, but it was a bit disheartening to feel like every option ended in him taking a dick.

Greg unbuttoned his jeans and groped his empty boxers. He didn't want some new penis invading his body, he just wanted his old one back. He slipped his fingers through the flap on the front and felt around at the featureless skin underneath. He felt a little tingle in his clit, like the ghost of his departed dick, yearning for contact.

He moved his fingers lower, hooking one into the top of his slit and curling it in to play with his little bean. It was almost too much to touch it directly, at least at first. So he circled around it, feeling the area become slick and wet as his arousal increased.

For a moment Greg reflected on his situation. Was fingering himself really the best use of his limited time? But he was stressed, and horny, and his finger was already playing with his clit.

Soon he was kicking off his pants and getting comfortable on the bed. His hand moved rapidly between his legs. He swirled his clit, swishing side to side with his fingers while rubbing up and down. The magnitude of the sensation was phenomenal, he'd never felt anything like it. His pussy was buzzing with erotic energy, and new ideas started to dance through his head.

He didn't want a penis inside him, but a guy could jerk off into a condom. Then the guy could use his fingers to push the condom into Greg backwards, dumping the contents into his vagina. Greg's fingers moved even faster. Then the guy could use his tongue to-

Before Greg could finish that thought he was gripped in a gut-clenching orgasm. His pussy spasmed as his legs twitched and shook. His fingers kept moving as the orgasm rolled on for a few more seconds. His mouth opened into a silent moan as the last waves passed in a burst of tingles.

His fingers slowed, expecting the bitter-sensitive feeling that had accompanied every orgasm with his penis, but that feeling never came. His fingers kept moving, and it kept feeling amazing. Soon he felt like he was about to cum a second time.

Greg did cum a second time, and a third. He lost count of how many times he got himself off. He rubbed and rubbed until he was an exhausted mess, until his hand was beginning to cramp. For all the trouble it gave him, at least his pussy was fun to play with.

Catching his breath on the bed, Greg began to reconsider his feelings on penetration. As great as it felt to play with his clit, at the height of his arousal he could still feel a needy yearning below, around the place he found the semen this morning. His vagina was itching to be filled. He still wasn't ready for a penis to go there, but the idea didn't feel as invasive as it had an hour ago.

As the afterglow faded, Greg came to the conclusion he needed a shower. He'd worked himself into a sweaty mess on the bed. He tossed his clothes in the hamper and grabbed a towel. It was a little strange for him to walk around naked and not feel anything dangling down there, but he was gradually becoming accustomed to it.

In the shower he tried to formulate a plan. He needed to find a guy who'd be willing to give away his sperm, but didn't want to have sex with him. Someone who would be discrete, and not hold it over him.

"Ugh" Greg sighed, letting the water run off his scalp. He couldn't imagine himself approaching one of his friends like Anna had. "Hey buddy, could you cum in this Gatorade so I can drink it?" Maybe if it was a punishment for losing a bet or something. Even then, he really didn't want to drink his friend's cum, if it could at all be avoided.

By the end of his shower Greg was back in a good mood. He still felt the happy-horny 'reward feeling' that had been buzzing through him all morning, though he could tell it was beginning to fade. He'd also narrowed in on one guy in particular he might have a chance in convincing to help him. He had a friend from high school he'd largely lost touch with, Jacob.

They used to play video games in his mom's basement, for a couple years they had been best friends. But Jacob didn't seem to mature much after high school, and the two had been drifting apart since Greg left for college. Even though they lived in the same town again, they hadn't really reconnected.

As far as Greg knew, Jacob still hadn't had sex, and not for lack of wanting to. He also knew Jacob had plenty of free time, he always seemed to be online playing stuff when he opened his friends list. It seemed possible that he'd be bored, horny, and friendly enough to be willing to help Greg out of this odd predicament.

He dried off and booted up his gaming system. He had to install some updates, but once it all loaded he was pleased to see Jacob was in a game, with room for him to join.

Greg still needed to install the game first though. He got that started, then put on some clothes and set up his mic. His plan was to just join the game, play a few rounds, and see if they could casually start up a conversation. Ideally Jacob would have some time this weekend to hang out in person, and that's when Greg could ask for his help.

The plan worked flawlessly. Jacob recognized his username right away, and invited him to a private party. They cleared missions and talked about the good old days. Greg was more than a bit rusty at first, but Jacob gave him some pointers, and soon they were both earning high marks.

"I'm hungry, but I don't want to stop playing." Greg said, eyes fixed on the screen. "After this mission I'm gonna order a pizza."

"Oh, great idea dude." Jacob's voice spoke through his headset. "I wish I had the spare cash for a pizza tonight."

"Don't stress man, I can send you a pizza." Greg offered casually. "Just message me your address." He played it cool, but inside he felt a rush of excitement. Jacob's address would make the prospect of hanging out this weekend much more likely, and he was anxious to verify that they still lived near one another.

"I'm sure you still have it. I haven't moved." Jacob replied lazily. He was still living at his mom's place? Greg's brow furrowed a bit, but he wasn't sure what he'd expected. Jacob wasn't known for holding steady work, and he had some expensive hobbies; having a place of his own probably wasn't something he could afford.

Greg checked his phone during a lull, and sure enough, Jacob's old address was still in his contacts. He placed pizza orders for himself and his friend and they got back to the task at hand.

Together they played late into the night. Greg really appreciated the chance to forget about his real life problems for a while, though reality was sure to remind him with every bathroom break. He'd forgotten how much he loved gaming with Jacob.

As the night wound down Greg took his chance. "Hey man, it's been great catching up with you."

"Totally." Jacob agreed, though he sounded a little distracted.

"I've actually been going through some stuff lately. I just had a weird breakup. Do you think we could hang out tomorrow, like in person?" Greg asked. He felt a surge of anxiety as he waited for the reply.

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Jacob said eventually. "I don't know much about breakups." He admitted with a chuckle. "But yeah, we can chill. It's been a minute."

"Awesome, thanks man." Greg felt a wave of relief. The hard part was over. "Wanna meet at my place around noon?" He offered.

"Not unless you want to pick me up, I don't have a car at the moment." Jacob chuckled again.

"I live right on the bus route." Greg suggested.

"Nah, I hate riding the bus. We should just meet at my place."

"Alright." He wasn't excited to try his condom plan in Jacob's mom's basement, but he struggled to think of a better idea. Greg had sold his car when he got his apartment in the city, and he couldn't justify the cost of a rental or multiple taxi rides. Besides, from what he remembered Jacob had that space very much to himself, it seemed likely that would still be the case.

"Oh, and we should meet a bit later, I'll still be waking up at noon." Jacob added.

"That's fine, see you at two then?"

"Sure, or like three even."

"Alright, cool. Sounds good."

They said their goodbyes. Greg blearily turned off the television and started getting ready for bed. The reward feeling from that morning was long gone, but he still felt good. It was nice to reconnect with an old friend.

He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Without the awful thirsty feeling or fear of nanobots keeping him up, the exhaustion of a long night gaming quickly claimed him.

Greg slept deep and dreamlessly. He woke late Sunday morning with a happy, rested feeling. He stretched out his body and yawned. "Hmm, that's weird." He mumbled to himself, stretching again.

His joints felt weird. Not bad, but different. And he could feel a strangeness in how his muscles stretched, especially around his hips. For the second morning in a row he found himself jumping out of bed to inspect his own body.

For as much as things felt different, he struggled to spot anything out of place in the mirror. Well, besides the obvious change from yesterday he was still adjusting to. Though as he stared at his crotch in the mirror he started to see what had changed this time. His hips were wider. Not just wider either, they'd adjusted in angle and shape. Greg had womanly hips.

As he tilted in the mirror he noticed other changes too. His butt was larger, his legs looked longer and less toned, his shoulders felt slightly narrower. It was hard to tell at a glance, but it seemed like in addition to his new hips, his body proportions had all shifted slightly in his sleep. The changes seemed larger closer to his pelvis. His hands and feet looked to be entirely unaffected.

Greg used a door frame to attempt to gauge his height, but he couldn't really tell. If he was shorter, it couldn't be by more than an inch or two. His body hair and other attributes all seemed unchanged. Overall he looked pretty much the same, but the fact his body changed at all while he was sleeping freaked him out.

His pussy looked more at home than ever, tucked between his wide hips. He even had a gap under his crotch, before his thighs met; an empty space where his balls should be hanging.

He texted Anna: "No cravings, but there were more changes last night."

She responded right away: "That's weird." Then before he could say more she added: "No new nanobots would have been released, it must be leftover work from the previous day." Then: "What changed?"

Greg sighed in frustration. She hadn't mentioned changes could take multiple days to complete. He texted her again: "You didn't tell me that could happen." Followed by "They widened my hips."

"Oh, that makes sense." Anna replied, followed by: "Probably still finishing touches for your new reproductive system."

"How many nights will this happen? How much more will they change?"

"This should be the last of it" She replied, before adding: "The nanobots have a 48hr lifespan, they couldn't change you after tonight regardless of their program."

Greg groaned. "Well that's just great." He grumbled. Well, at least this was the last night he'd need to worry about it. Tomorrow was Monday, and he'd make sure the lab reversed everything that Anna's concoction had done to him.

He got dressed and brushed his teeth, readying himself for the day ahead. His jeans still buttoned, but they felt so tight around his hips that it wasn't comfortable. He opted for a pair of sweatpants instead. He wrote an email to his boss, explaining that he had an emergency medical appointment, and would not be able to make it to work on Monday. It didn't even feel like a lie.

He had a bit of time to spare before the bus to Jacob's place, so he dropped by the store for some food to eat, and to buy a few condoms. He also made sure to freshen up and fix his hair. He even trimmed his pubes nice and close for a tidy look. It did look better to him in the mirror, but it also made his crotch feel even more flat and empty than it already had.

On the bus ride to Jacob's place Greg couldn't help feeling nervous. In a weird way it felt like a first date, but with his childhood best friend he hadn't seen in years, who also had no idea about the whole thing.

He could also feel the thirsty feeling coming back. He tried not to think about it, but as the ride lagged on, stop after stop, it threatened to dominate his mind. It still wasn't very strong, nowhere near as bad as it had been the first night, but it had found a new way to affect him.

Deep under his stomach Greg felt a yearning, a thirst more pronounced and palpable than the others. His pussy had more than just a patch or two of sperm-sensitive tissue, he had tubes of it, and every inch was calling out for more.

When the bus stopped near Jacob's house, just a little before three, Greg was the first one off. As nervous as he'd been about sharing his secret transformation with his friend, he now found himself looking forward to it. Anything to get closer to relief from this thirst.

Greg tried to ignore the changes his new proportions made to the way he moved, like the way his new hips swayed his larger ass. Would people notice something like that? Would he be mistaken for a woman from behind now? Not productive thoughts.

He made his way to the house by memory, it wasn't hard to find. It looked exactly like it did when they were teenagers, but older. In that way it resembled its inhabitants.

Jacob's mom answered the door when Greg knocked, dressed the same way she had when he was in high school. It almost felt like going back in time.

"Oh, hello Greg! You've turned out quite well." She said, giving him a playful look over.

"Um, thanks Sally." Greg said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "I'm really just here to play video games."

"The more things change, the more they stay the same." Jacob's mom hummed. "Are you sure I can't get you anything to drink?"

Greg's mouth did feel dry, but he knew nothing in the fridge would fix his problem. He was beginning to see the genius in Anna's solution. He would gladly drink a gross mixture of semen and preservatives if it could just quench this thirst.

"Um, sure. I'll just have some water." He said, realizing he hadn't answered her question.

"Coming right up dear." She vanished into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a chilled bottle of water from the fridge. "Jacob is in his 'lair', you can head right on down." She added, pointing towards the stairs to the basement.

He took a long drink of water and started down the stairs. "Hey buddy, ready to hang out?" He called out as he got to the door.

Jacob pulled the door open just as Greg was reaching for the knob. He was wearing a bathrobe, and his hair was a mess, but he otherwise looked much the same as he had in high school. "Oh, hey dude, you're early."

Greg was pretty sure it was a couple minutes after three, but he really didn't care to press the issue. "Oh, uh, just looking forward to seeing you I guess."

"Nah, I'm fucking with you. It's like 3:02, I'm just a lazy bastard." Jacob cackled, giving Greg a pat to the ribs. "I had you going there, huh?"

"Haha, yeah. I was like 'what?', haha." Greg did his best to laugh along. He was starting to worry he'd invested too much in this plan, but at this point it was too late to turn back. Even if Jacob was annoying and immature, he was also capable of ending the awful thirst he was suffering from with a wave of his dick. He was still the best option.

He followed Jacob to his room and shut the door behind them. "So, uh, there's something kinda big I want to tell you about." Greg said, adopting a serious tone.

"What's up?" Jacob asked, casual as always.

"You know how my ex worked at that medical lab?" He didn't wait for an answer, but he could tell this was news to Jacob. "Well when we broke up she drugged me with nanobots."

"Whoa, what the fuck?" Jacob looked shocked. Then curious. "What does that mean? What did they do?"

"I don't know exactly, but it's been super weird. At first they gave me this awful compulsion, but when I didn't give in more changes set in." Greg felt a rising embarrassment talking about it.

"Damn dude. This is some comic book villain stuff. What's she compelling you to do?"

"Well, and here's where it gets really fucked up. I need to ingest semen." He glanced up at Jacob's face to see his expression, he looked just as horrified as Greg expected he would. "Every night, if I haven't done that, more nanobots are released."

"Holy shit." Jacob said, holding his head with his hands. Then he relaxed a bit. "Nah, you're fucking with me." He said.

"I'm serious!" Greg insisted.

"No way. This is your sick way of getting me back for making you think that you were early, when you were actually late." Jacob said, waving his hand like he was blowing away a bad smell.

Greg felt his emotions rise. This was not how he expected things to go. He needed Jacob to believe him. "For real dude, look!" he said, pulling down his pants.

"No way, you're not getting me with that, I'm not looking at your dick." Jacob said, blocking his eyes with his hand.

"Well you don't have to worry about that." Greg said, giving himself a solid slap on the crotch. It hurt more than he expected, but it sent the intended message.

"What the fuck?" Jacob said, peaking between his fingers.

"This is what the nanobots changed after I refused to give in on the first night." Greg explained. "They took my dick." He had to stop talking because he could feel himself start to tear up. The trauma was still fresh and painful.

"Damn dude, that looks exactly like a real pussy." Jacob said, scrutinizing Greg's crotch.

"That's because it is a real pussy." Greg said. He spread his labia to prove it. It felt weird revealing himself like that to another person, especially an old friend he hadn't seen in ages, but something about another person acknowledging it, and witnessing it, gave Greg a strange sense of relief.

"How is that possible?" Jacob mumbled, wide-eyed.

"I don't know, nanobots, I don't know. But it's been making my life hell, and now the compulsions are starting again." Greg exaggerated a little on the level of inconvenience, but in the midst of the thirst, he really did feel like he was in a private hell.

"So you want me to fuck you?" Jacob asked, looking horny, confused, and a bit unsure of what was going on. "Is it contagious?"

"It's not contagious." Greg assured him. Though honestly with how much had happened that wasn't planned for, he wasn't sure how true that was. "And I'm still not into guys." He clarified. "I was hoping you could jerk off into a condom or something, and then let me have it."

"Oh." Jacob said, thinking it over. "Yeah, I could do that." Greg's heart jumped. He'd do it! This would all be over soon.

"So what then, like you'd drink it?" Jacob asked.

"Uh, something like that." Greg said, not wanting to upset the plan. "I was thinking I'd stick it up my, you know."

"Butt?" Jacob asked.

"No, I was going to put it in my vagina." Greg explained, feeling mortified at having to spell it out.

"But what if you get pregnant?" Jacob asked. Greg hadn't thought of that.

"I can't get pregnant." He didn't think he could at least. That felt like something Anna would have told him about. Though he really had no idea.

"Eh, I'm getting cold feet." Jacob said, tightening his robe.

"What do you mean? You were all on board a second ago."

"Yeah, but this doesn't feel right. Nanobots and compulsions. I never saw your dick, for all I know you were born that way, and this is your sick way of getting knocked up."

"What the hell man! We've peed at urinals together. We talked about girls together in high school. This is new!" Greg enthused, gesturing towards his pussy.

"I don't know, I heard girls have a way to pee standing up. Maybe you're really good at it. I don't know. I just don't feel right putting my verile seed into the womb of someone I don't intend to impregnate."

Greg felt a combination of frustration at his friend's change of tune, and shame at the fact he really couldn't pee standing up. Maybe some girls had figured it out, but he had no idea how they did it.

"Whatever dude, I guess I'll swallow it then. I just really don't want to put that stuff in my mouth." Greg said, already feeling a bit queasy at the idea of sucking a used condom clean.

That seemed to give Jacob pause. "Huh, I guess you're really serious about this." He said after a little bit.

"Yeah, as much as I wish this was all a joke, it's my life now."

"Okay, I'll do it." Jacob said for a second time. "I'll really do it, you can put it up your vag and everything." Greg felt his heart leap again, but he got the feeling the other shoe was about to drop. Jacob went on. "All I ask is that you hang out with me first." He concluded.

Greg was taken aback. "Yeah dude, of course I'll hang out with you. Why would that be something you'd have to barter for?"

"Well you haven't in a while. Playing online last night was the first time we'd talked in years. You were my best friend, man. It shouldn't take something like this to bring us back together, but if this is what it takes I'll use it."

"Wow man, I'm sorry, you were my best friend too. I've been so busy, we just lost touch. Of course I'll hang out with you. It's just really important you help me out before I fall asleep tonight."

"Of course." Jacob reassured. "We'll just wait until my mom goes to sleep, I don't want to risk her walking in on anything."

As much as Greg hated the idea of suffering with this craving for hours, he couldn't foresee any way to satisfy it faster otherwise. At least playing video games could help keep his mind off it, and at the end the relief was a sure thing. He even felt pretty confident that Jacob would keep it a secret. He valued their friendship, and they hardly talked to any of the same people these days anyway.

Greg ordered another pizza, and the two of them got busy wasting time. It was nice to hang out in person. Jacob showed off his collection of Magic cards, and some modifications he'd made to his PC to make it glow more. Greg put together a deck from some spare cards and they played a few rounds together.

It started off light at first, but Jacob was a sore winner; he loved lording his victories over his friend, and he could get personal with it.

"Did the nanobots take your deck building skills?" as he ridiculed a card choice; "You play like a bitch, and now you gotta pee like one too." when Greg needed to use the bathroom; "Maybe there are no nanobots, you just grew a pussy because you're so bad at Magic." after another victory.

The last one set Greg off. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, like you just sucked so bad your dick and balls were like 'fuck this' and bounced." He giggled to himself while packing up the cards. "I don't know, just kidding around."

"Well it's not funny, it's dumb; and childish; and it makes me feel gross." Greg said, stumbling for exactly what he was trying to say.

"Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch." Jacob said, giggling again at his own joke. "No, seriously, I'll stop. Let's just cool off and do something else. I won't mention your 'feminine problems' anymore."

Greg bristled at the way Jacob was talking, but he only had to get through tonight. The sun had already set, and his mom should be going to bed before too long.

As the night wound down, the craving became impossible to ignore. Eventually Greg couldn't even focus on the games they were playing. They settled on Jacob playing a game on his PC, and Greg sitting behind him, bouncing his crossed legs and trying his hardest not to lose his mind.

This was a different sort of horny than he'd felt yesterday. He wasn't so much aroused as he was needy. It blossomed into arousal in rare moments of hope, but otherwise it was a dry, hungry wanting. Every minute he had to fight the urge to prod Jacob into using the condom. He knew it wouldn't make things go faster. He could tell by his unhurried attitude. Greg was being toyed with.

Eventually Greg couldn't take it anymore. "So are you just going to make me wait forever?" He asked hotly.

"No, just until the nanobots kick in." Jacob answered without looking away from his monitor.

"What the hell!?" Greg was dumbstruck by his friend's betrayal.

"I still want proof. I want to see the changes happen." Jacob said, pausing the game and swiveling his chair around.

"Even I don't see them happen, it happens in my sleep."

"Then go to sleep, and when you start to change I'll give you my seed." Jacob said plainly.

"No, the entire point of the semen was to prevent the nanobots, it doesn't help once they're activated." Greg was becoming exasperated. He'd wasted all his time betting on this guy who wasn't even going to help him until it was too late.

Jacob took a while to respond. It was like he was struggling to make up his mind on what to do with this information, or even to trust it. Eventually he looked up and said "Fine, I'll help stop the nanobots, but no condom. You have to let me fuck you."

"What!?" Greg said, sliding his chair back. Things were getting even stranger than he was prepared for.

"I'll trust your story and give you my seed, but I want to do it naturally, the way our bodies are meant to."

"Nothing about my vagina is natural, Jacob." Greg reminded him.

"Well I've never had sex, alright?" At the admission Jacob's face flushed bright red. "Your vagina is the closest I've ever come to the real thing. And if I'm going to risk impregnating you, I want to feel what it's like. Even if it's not connected to a real woman."

Greg felt a shock of panic shoot down his spine. This guy had been deceiving him all night, and now he wanted to put his dick inside him. He had no idea what Jacob was capable of right now. Quickly he got up from his chair and moved towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked. "I just agreed to help you." Greg could hear him getting up to follow.

"I just need to pee again." Greg lied, rushing for the bathroom. The moment he got inside he slammed the door shut and locked it. He sank to the floor and held his head in his hands as Jacob tried to get in.

"Hey, I was just kidding around again, you know that right? I just don't want you to take this so seriously, it was supposed to be a joke. Of course I've had sex, tons of times."

Greg tried to ignore him, hoping he'd talk himself out, but Jacob just seemed to be getting more upset.

"And don't think you're special just because you've got a pussy. Half the world has a pussy. It's no big deal. Get over yourself." He hit the door a few times. "Haha, this was funny at first, but I actually need to pee. You can't just live in my bathroom."

Eventually, either the boredom of the situation or an earnest need to pee won out, because he smacked the door one more time and left, saying "Fine, whatever. I'm gonna go piss in the sink, because I have a penis."

Greg finally felt like he could breathe. He hadn't realized how much he'd been controlling his breathing, to remain as quiet as he could. What the fuck was he doing here? Should he try and make a run for it? Where would he even go? No plan he could think of solved his primary problem, the thirst that brought him here in the first place.

At least he still had his shoes and coat, if he did make a break for it he could make it back to the bus stop. He put his hands in his pockets to check for his bus pass, but something in one of his pockets distracted him. It was a small black pouch, he recognized it from the conversation with Anna in the diner, which reminded him of something else she'd said.

Soon Greg was washing his ex-girlfriend's vibrator in the bathroom sink. He slipped out of his sweatpants and boxers and lay on his back in the bathtub, with his legs spread open.

It was hard for Greg to get into the right mood, especially with the distracting thirst loud as ever in his mind. He tried playing with his clit, but it didn't feel right. At a loss for what to do he started sucking on the toy while it was turned off, pretending with all his might it could give him what he needed.

The trick seemed to be working. As he encircled the vibrator with his tongue, he felt something coming alive between his legs. He closed his eyes and chased that feeling, sucking onto the toy with his lips. He pulled it out of his mouth and tried to slide it into his vagina.

At first it didn't seem to work. It was like he couldn't find the right angle. He adjusted it a couple times, and used his fingers to help spread his juices. He patiently felt it out, and with a little pressure in the right spot, he felt it sink into himself.

It didn't feel particularly amazing, but there was something deeply satisfying about it. That itch he'd been feeling was finally getting attention. He pushed deeper, until nearly all three-ish inches of the little vibrator were inside him, then pulled it back out.

Greg held the vibrator up to his mouth and resumed sucking on it. He licked, and sucked, and hoped. He hoped what Anna had said about sperm surviving in the vagina was accurate, he hoped some got transferred to the toy, and he hoped it was enough to silence the craving.

When he had sucked the toy clean and still felt the thirst, Greg almost gave up. It had seemed too crazy to work from the start. But as he laid there, he felt the thirst waver for a moment. It hadn't gone away, it hadn't even diminished for more than a few seconds, but it was enough for him to try again.

He pushed the little thing back into himself, sliding it in on the first try. He flexed his pussy against the toy and wiggled it around with his fingers. At one point he accidentally turned the vibrator on, and nearly had a panic attack trying to silence it before Jacob heard the buzzing. He was able to stop it almost as soon as it had started, but it left him with tingles of fear and stimulation.

The second time he licked the toy clean, it was like a switch was flipped. This time as he swallowed, he felt a tickle in his throat, and the thirst was satisfied. It was so sudden and relieving it almost made him want to cry. He could have done this at home.

Greg stood up to leave the tub, but suddenly felt light headed and had to lay back down. He tried to stay calm, all he needed to do now was sneak out of here. Yet as he laid down, a powerful drowsiness came over him. He struggled against it, but it was too strong. He closed his eyes with the uneasy feeling that the nanobots from Friday night had more in store for him, then felt himself pulled into another deep and dreamless slumber.

In the morning Greg felt stiff and cold. He'd spent the night sleeping half naked in a bathtub. He ached all over his body. Even places he wouldn't have expected, like his hands. He stretched out his fingers and wiggled them around a bit to get the sleep out.

His hands looked different. He held one up to his face and studied his fingers and palm. They resembled his hands from last night, but they'd been altered. The fingers were slimmer, his palm was smaller, and the proportions had shifted. If not for his knuckle hair it would look like a woman's hand.

It wasn't just his hands either. His feet looked different too. He stood up and rushed to the bathroom mirror. From the first glance he could tell his entire body had changed. What happened to his hips the night before had happened everywhere else. The bone, muscle, and fat of his body had been redistributed in a female pattern.

His face still looked mostly the same, though he could tell his altered skull shape had caused his features to shift a bit. He still had the same nose, eyes, ears, eyebrows, facial hair, etc. His body hair and vocal chords seemed likewise unchanged.

Almost everything else felt different. His shoulders had narrowed further, his arms had drastically slimmed, losing all muscle definition under a thin layer of fat. His thighs had thickened in all dimensions, and his legs had taken on a recognizably feminine shape. He had no way to get an accurate measure of his height, but he got the impression he had become significantly shorter overnight.

His chest had also changed. It still didn't quite look feminine, it was covered in chest hair, and his nipples were unchanged. But his man boobs had swollen with fat, larger than they'd been even at his most out of shape. Combined with his smaller chest, they had nearly taken on the proportions of female breasts. He cupped them with his hands and saw a hairy line of cleavage form in between. This was weird.

Greg started getting dressed. He was happy that his clothes still fit, for the most part. His shirt draped lower than it had yesterday, and his shoes were nearly too loose to stay on his feet, but the sweatpants fit about the same.

When he looked in the mirror though, his heart sank. He didn't see a man in the reflection. They looked like a tomboy, or a woman wearing her boyfriend's clothes. His hips and chest were his most notable features, but his entire shape had shifted. His outline had traded its masculine edge for feminine curves. Only his face still struck him as plainly male.

He tried putting on his coat and zipping it up, that helped a lot. Under the baggy sleeves and insulation it wasn't easy to tell the shape of his body. His legs looked a bit feminine in the sweatpants, but it wasn't super obvious. As long as the most visible part was his face, people should still recognize him, Greg told himself.

Greg left the bathroom as quietly as he could, hoping to sneak out before Jacob was awake. The moment he closed the bathroom door behind him though, the hallway light switched on, momentarily stunning him with the shock and brightness.

"Look who decided to stop camping in my bathroom." Jacob said from the stairs. Had he been waiting there all night? Greg walked to the stairway and looked up at him. Jacob sat on the stairs near the top. He had positioned himself between the only exit from the basement, blocking the stairs blocked Greg's hope of escape. He could try and push past, but even with his height and muscles from yesterday, he'd be at a disadvantage. Jacob had the high ground.

"Fuck you, dude. I just want to go home." Greg said, reaching his wits end. He needed to get to the lab more than anything. He was so close to being able to reverse this nightmare.

"Well you should have thought about that before you forced me to pee in the sink." Jacob said, getting to his feet.

"You have another bathroom." Greg still remembered the basic floor plan from hanging out there as a teenager.

"Mom doesn't like me using that one, you know that!" Jacob was becoming increasingly agitated, and it was scaring Greg. He tried a different tactic, thinking on his feet.

"Look man, I just want to go. I came here looking for your help, and now look at me." Greg pulled down the zipper of his coat and held it open. He held his knees together while pushing out his chest, exaggerating the changes with his posture.

He saw the expression on Jacob's face instantly shift to one of sympathy and awe. "Holy shit dude, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"No idea!? This is exactly the sort of thing I told you was going to happen."

"Well, yeah, but nanobots? Come on. You can't blame me for being skeptical."

Greg zipped his coat back up. "What I'm blaming you for is tricking me and wasting my time. I understand why you'd be skeptical, I would be too, but you put me in a really tough situation."

"Hey man, I'm sorry, really." Jacob stepped away from the door, clearing the way out. Greg cautiously walked up the stairs.

At the top step it became clear how much height Greg had lost. He used to be eye-to-eye with Jacob, but now they stood eye-to-chin. He had to look up to make eye contact.

"Hug?" Jacob asked, as Greg passed him.

"When have we ever hugged?" Greg asked, offering a fist bump instead. Jacob bumped fists with Greg, revealing just how much smaller his fists were now. He felt so much weaker than yesterday.

Greg strolled to the bus stop. He had plenty of time before the next one came, so there was no rush. The warm sun made it tempting to unzip his coat, but he couldn't stand the idea of someone seeing him.

By the time he got to the lab, his coat was really making him sweat. He hurried into the building, texting Anna that he was here. He waited around the lobby for a little bit, but didn't get a text back. Eventually the receptionist stopped to check on him.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked kindly.

"I'm just trying to get in touch with my friend who works here. She said she could help me this morning." Greg replied.

"And what is your friend's name?"

"Anna" Greg answered, unsure if he should be more specific.

"Oh yes, she said you'd be stopping in. You must be Greg." Greg nodded his head. "Right this way." The receptionist led Greg through an elevator and around an elaborate maze of work areas.

"Just over here." The receptionist said, pointing into a section labeled "Nanobot Research". The lab felt well air conditioned, but Greg was still too hot in his bulky coat.

Finally he was shuffled into an examination room, where he felt comfortable removing his jacket and relaxing. He paced around, reading various posters on the wall. He tried not to worry that he still hadn't heard back from Anna.

A man in a lab coat walked in, he wore a stethoscope around his neck. "Hello Greg, I hear you've been exposed to some rogue nanobots." He said somewhat cheerily.

"Yeah, you could say that." Greg said, not sure how much he should talk about.

"Well, my name is Jason, I've been assigned as your physician, and you have a few options." Jason explained. "We could give you a purge shot, which would remove all the nanobots, but leave any changes to your anatomy in place. This would also prevent future nanobot exposures from affecting you for several years."

Greg didn't like the sound of being stuck with his body how it was, but it would be nice to at least know he was safe from nanobots for a while.

The doctor continued. "Another option would be to adjust the program. We could halt the sensory dependency and repurpose the nanobots for injury repair."

"What does that mean?" Greg asked.

"You would no longer suffer those nasty withdrawals. Instead the nanobots would focus on healing you when you get hurt."

"Hmm." Gaining healing powers sounded nice, but he wasn't sure he trusted these nanobots to put things back to how they were.

"The other option would be a halt shot. The nanobots would stop entirely, but you would still be receptive to future treatment." Jason said, and then stopped talking.

Greg waited for a moment for him to list more treatments, but he didn't. That couldn't be right. Every option left him in the same body he'd walked in with.

"So there's no option that can reverse this?" Greg asked, trying his best not to freak out.

"We're working on that." Jason said, with an awkward expression. "This is experimental technology. We weren't prepared for this sort of exposure. As long as you don't take the purge, we should be able to provide treatment as soon as it's ready. Otherwise you'd need to wait for the purge shot to wear off first."

Greg felt his heart sink. He'd always known this was a possibility, but he had really hoped it would be otherwise. He would be stuck with the body he woke up in for who knows how long. Days for sure, probably months, maybe even years.

"What I can do today, in addition to the treatment options I listed." The doctor offered. "Is give you an inspection, write you some prescriptions, and help you adjust as well as you can for the time being. We're taking this issue very seriously, and hope to have it resolved as soon as possible."

"What sort of prescriptions?" Greg asked.

"Testosterone, for a start." The doctor said, "Since your body is likely producing a lot less on its own now. Maybe some contraceptives."

"Contraceptives, like birth control? Can I get pregnant?"

"Most likely, yes, we've found our nanobots to be very skilled at growing reproductive tissues. They use host cells, so any baby would carry your genetics, with the exception of your Y chromosome."

Greg's head was spinning. Not only would he be stuck with his vagina, but he'd need to worry about getting pregnant now too. "Does that mean I'll have periods?" He asked, pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Yes." The doctor said solemnly. "Every other case of this sort of treatment has resulted in healthy and regular menstruation. You will likely have the same outcome. Usually the first period starts a week or two after restoration, but I could tell you with more precision after your pelvic exam."

By the end of his time at the lab, Greg was fighting back tears. Not only were they unable to fix him, everything they told him only made him feel worse. Jason used a sonogram to inspect his uterus, and let Greg know everything looked healthy and fertile. He should expect his first period in just over a week, though Jason said the testosterone he was prescribing should reduce the intensity.

Greg had to pee in a cup for one of the tests, and he nearly got it all over himself trying to figure out the mechanics. It was so much harder to control without a penis.

Finally they gave him a shot to remove the horrible thirsty cravings. Greg chose the option where the nanobots would heal his injuries. He figured if he had to have nanobots inside him, they could at least carry their weight. They also gave him a shot of testosterone, and pills to take at home.

He decided to skip the birth control, without the cravings he had no intention of getting sperm anywhere near him, so it seemed like an unnecessary medication, especially considering the possible side effects.

He still hadn't heard back from Anna, so on his way out he asked Jason if he knew anything.

"Oh, she got in trouble. Big trouble. That's how we knew to expect you. She's probably still in meetings with the director." Jason said surreptitiously. "I wouldn't worry too much about it." He added, seeing Greg's startled expression. "I'm sure she'll be fine. Though someone told me they're withholding the deactivation shot until she sets things right."

"What does that mean?" Greg asked.

Jason just replied with a shrug, then added "Guess she's stuck thirsting."

#gender bender #tg story #male to female #forced transformation #smut

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aspd-culture · 2 years ago

Note

(tw animal cruelty + use of word psychopath). Also long ask ahead I’m sorry I type a lot.

Hi, anon asking after other possibilities other than aspd. We met criteria for: impulsivity, deceitfulness, irritability and aggressiveness (we used to intimidate our little brother on purpose a lot, we were physically aggressive with many of our friends, we threatened people for the sake of it, but when bullied physically, it’s like we couldn’t fight back? That was annoying.), I don’t actually recall any reckless behaviors (depends ig what we consider reckless?), complete irresponsibility and almost no remorse of who it affects. (Depends on who it affects tbh. If it’s my brother or my FP, I try really hard to be responsible but it’s hard and also I typically do not care unless it benefits me to care/be responsible). Remorse is a complicated one. We experience guilt very easily (moral scrupulosity ocd + raised Christian). I’m not saying we do or we don’t experience remorse because emotional object permanence and occasional emotional amnesia means I can’t tell if we have or not.

We do feel guilty still for the way we treated our little brother and try to make up for it by being a better older sibling. He was more accidental collateral of an aggressive older sibling with no outlets and a power streak and a deep sense of near misanthropic hatred.

As for conduct disorder, almost everything on the list for aggressiveness except sexual coercion, stealing while mugging someone, or initiates physical fights. Destruction of property, though milder cases. Shoplifting but not so much anymore due to surveillance paranoia. Did not meet any truancy/run-away bits but I did threaten it a lot growing up. Helicopter parents. Didn’t get the chance to actually do it. Or if we did, don’t remember it. Didn’t break too many laws (granted, we’re not exactly informed on all law either so).

And then when it comes to people, we grew up lonely, ostracized,and bullied but we DID want friends. Like badly. We cared about people’s opinions of us. Abandonment issues. Possessiveness (to a near-violent end.). While we’ve never sexually coerced someone (we’re Big on consent, so much so that we’ll ironically avoid even consensual sex if we don’t think their consent is consent-y enough for us), we do often experience anger and irritation if we make advances and are rejected. Never evolves into coercion and if the reaction is particularly strong, we just avoid the person until we’ve calmed down.

I hate to admit that animal cruelty was one thing we did meet, because it feels like if we meet that criteria, we’re contributing to the idea of “psychopath cat-skinner” thing of aspd. We’ve tried (unsuccessfully) for years to stop that particular thing. Our dad did it when he was angry or would threaten it to get us to do things. I think remorse for how we handle animals is the only thing we can really say we experience remorse for.

Honestly writing this all out makes it look a lot more obvious 💀 I rly thought it was a “haha we’re in a silly goofy mood”. As for aspd testimonials, we find pretty much a good chunk we relate to with the exception of again, emotional bluntedness. Having said that, some of our alters do hold emotional bluntedness or coolness or whatever, but our body has an extremely sensitive response and any emotion we feel gets exacerbated. Never mind, I guess we do experience it 😂💀 it just depends on what and who is fronting. Bpd tends to control the show more often than not with all this stuff running in the background like a computer.

Gotta say, aspd-culture is a whole lot of what you've said in this ask

I think for you to not have ASPD with this many diagnostic criteria, traits, and development criteria met, it would have to be 3 or 4 other disorders all working together to really accurately replicate ASPD. The psych community generally considers it that if you meet this many criteria all at once, and it would take that many other diagnoses that are "well this kind of fits" diagnoses to otherwise explain all of the symptoms, that it is best explained by saying you have the one disorder that explains all the symptoms.

In other words, I don't know that there is any one or even two disorders I could point you to that would explain all of this better than ASPD. If I were in your shoes, I would strongly consider a self dx of ASPD.

I am not a professional, but my opinion is that that set of symptoms and circumstances cannot otherwise be better explained by disorders other than ASPD.

#tw psychopath #tw animal cruelty #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually antisocial #actually aspd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd awareness #aspd #aspd traits #anons welcome

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trans-leek-cookie · 2 months ago

Text

very personal (arguably oversharing) but vague on details talking about. CSA and experiences in my life that idk how to like. Organize my thoughts on them. 👎 And also I genuinely couldn't care less Abt who reads this (minus like. Pls keep urself safe y'know) here's a mahjong tile 🀄 because idk

Thinking abt CSA is fucking weird bc there was an instance that (clothed and minimal physical contact. I don't wanna over share but Id feel weird not clarifying). I have trouble personally labeling bc like in my mind there wasn't intent to harm or like. Full Awareness of what what happening bc the other ppl involved were also my age. So I don't want to label them as abusers but at the same time I do think it affected me. But, besides that, the thing is I don't think the event was The Big Thing that fucked my relationship w sex/sexuality as a kid bc really That One Was The Internet. Like the reason The Thing happened was bc all of us as kids were exposed to porn at a young age and we didn't have the ability to really process what that meant and idk Abt them but my parents just tried to keep me away from that stuff rather than actually helping me process what I was seeing?

Especially since it wasn't even something that I really actually... Idk i sought it out bc I didn't understand it well more than actually being aroused by it so. Yeah I do wish my parents had given me more info there.

But to summarize basically I don't think that even was uniquely traumatic in that like. I don't want to downplay the fact it obviously still affects me but it honestly feels like. Idk it wasn't anyones fault directly it was just decisions that we all didn't have the proper context for (my peers and I lacked the info and experience to have informed consent when it came to sexual stuff and my parents didnt know how much sexual stuff i was seeking out bc I actively hid it from them) so like.

The way I'll put it is that if someone has The Exact Same Experiences I wouldn't say they Were Wrong to label it as CSA (specifically COCSA) but personally I think that label doesn't capture the way it registers and therefore affects my relationship w sexuality. I feel like I struggle with that in some ways bc it's a sorta... Hard to define gray area and I don't Like That. I want things to be defined and like fully dissected to I can understand them.

Then there's. Like. Another incident in which my dad exposed me to a movie that. Idk it was about strippers so it wasnt that it had A Sex Scene it was About Sex Work and shit. Also one of the fuckin. Trailers for other movies they put on DVD had a "please be 18" joke (it was a racecar driver getting flashed) that. Now idk if it was meant as like hopeful or worried? But I had to ask my dad to explain that to me and he did??????? And I barely remember his explanation but man what the fuck

Anyway it's another case of I don't want to call it CSA bc that implies there is An Abuser and that. Doesn't feel right. I guess. And not just bc like oh he's my dad he wouldn't do that

It's like i wasn't forced or coerced into watching I was just curious so I watched it. And I think the problem is the fact he didn't like. I don't know

Because I was getting exposed to sexual shit on my own, so I don't even think making me Not Watch it wouldve helped in the long run. I guess it's more that fuckign. Both of these things are singular incidents that are easy to remember bc of the fact they are identifiable as Incidents

But like. The thing is that I genuinely don't think those Incidents are the problem, because even if they didn't happen I would have still been exposed to sexual material that normalized fucked up ideas of consent and sexuality and sex. Like.

I guess the problem is less Abuse and more... Neglect? In that I wish adults around me had done more to explain consent and that sexual shit isn't Bad in some nebulous way but is like. Dangerous in the way a knife is.

Because the problem isn't the fact a knife is sharp the problem is that you arent careful when using the knife and hurt yourself or someone else (or someone else hurts you) and a knife can be used to hurt people because it's dangerous but that doesn't mean it's always bad it's just Dangerous. And also it should be kept out of kids' reaches until they understand how to safely interact w it

Also tangent: I don't think asexuality should b like pushed on kids or whatever but I think it's worth telling kids about because learning about asexuality as a (pre?)teen when I had known about sex since I was probably 7 ish? really helped prevent my relationship with sex getting worse

Mainly bc it taught me it was normal to not want sex and never want sex, and I think while some kids might think they're ace when they're just y'know. Kids who aren't interested in sex. I think it does help kids who have been exposed to sex contextualize their experiences more

Like. Explicitly having confirmation that sometimes people just don't have sex (which isn't exclusive to ace ppl there's just a lotta overlap) or experience sexual attraction Ever was helpful for me to fully understand the different parts of sex. And also I don't think it's the end of the world if some eleven yrs old thinks they're ace and when they become an adult they realize they were wrong or whatever.

#CSA ment #SA ment #COCSA ment #Just. General discussion of CSA and ''grey area'' experiences (not like I'm trying to downplay but I'm not sure ''abuse'' is the most #helpful way in terms of like. Personal Recovery + Understanding to define my experience. Complicated)#And not incest but I talk about how my parents not explaining Sex Better ended up w me.#Having a fucked up relationship w sexuality #And finally some shit about how learning Abt asexuality helped me personally in the end. Goodbye and stay safe

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dreamswapafterdark · 2 years ago

Note

Dream could be trying to deal with Angel in the situation with Nightmare. But getting rid of a super strong positivity bird would probably be hard for even Dream. Especially seeing as that bird did dubcon to Dream already, and Angel likely convinced Dream he was consenting in the right headspace, even though he didn't. So Dream likely has to work through that too. I kinda think Dream would start getting upset after he realizes he Angel basically forced him as well as Nightmare into something they really didn't want to do.

Oh, absolutely! The thing between Angel and Dream will be touched upon canonly later in the fic, but initially Dream will still think he consented and just blame himself for what Angel did to Terror, among other things.

It will definitely take him a while to work through that he was in fact coerced, and even then he'll still wonder if he actually did consent.

Of course, diving into the non-canon... I had a devious thought. If Nightmare happened to be raped by Angel before Dream got his head out of his ass thanks to Finch, Dream would probably not believe Nightmare initially. Though afterwards, once he learned... oh boy, oh boy. Dream would in no way doubt Nightmare after that, though the damage is done by that point.

"After all," Angel puffed then flattened his wings, making a mild gesture with his hand; "It's more likely for your brother to rape me, then for me to rape him - just like with Reverie's brother."

#blethering #anon ask #ask #nsft #tusoud

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kithtaehyung · 3 years ago

Text

ugh f*ck (m) | myg

— “who you belong to.”

title: UGH F*CK parts: one by @kookskingdom, two by @yoon2k pairing: yoongi x reader, seokjin x reader rating/genre: m ; smut ; boxer au ; boxer!yoongi , ring girl!reader summary: you tend to yoongi’s wounds after a match, even though you damn well know that someone is coming to pick you up. very, very soon. warnings: pwp, swearing, dirty talk, infidelity (that turns out to be consensual it’ll all make sense!!), fingering, penetration, unprotected (pls be safe), voyeurism, exhibitionism, consent wbk, rough sex, choking, degradation, humiliation, dom!jin, clit slapping, overstimulation, crying, daddy kink, touch of aftercare, sl*t/wh*re mentions, creampie, begging, orgasm denial, breast play, boxer yoongi??, rich suited up seokjin???, feelings??, just a yoonjin pwp idk what else to say note: this is a last-second surprise for @sugakookitty!! dee, the theme is purely for you I CANT DO THIS AGAIN!! no more! and i have no excuses other than i was coerced by four people, and two of them are min yoongi and kim seokjin (whom i heard you were thirsting hard for lately!) lastly, ty to my brain for actually allowing this fic to happen note 2: umm.. this is also for the yoonjin stans lol also it’s p unedited so apologies! total word count: 6k drop date: december 16th, 2021, 1:22am est

Like every other time, Yoongi left the ring a champion.

In fact, everything that happened today was as predictable as the changing of seasons. You got to work, prepped for the matches, turned down many drunken suitors, and wrapped everything up when the crowds filed out.

The only thing you didn’t predict this time was how banged up Yoongi got during his fight.

Are bloody noses and black eyes considerably normal for fighters? Absolutely. Which attests to Yoongi’s adept and efficient fighting style, really, since the man rarely garners anything worse than a few bruises.

But this time? When you watched the big screens, it was hard to miss the busted lip, cut eyebrow, and multiple scratches on his face—injuries you knew he could feel and taste. You couldn’t express your concern while out in the stadium since you upheld professionalism, but as soon as you could catch him backstage you were at his side.

“You should wash those out.”

Yoongi waves you off as he walks further down the hall. “Don’t tell me what to do, doll. I got a press conference.”

“They’ll get infected if you don’t,” you insist over the surrounding commotion, bare legs trotting to keep up and maneuver the corridor. “I’ve seen it before and it’s gross.”

A look is cast over his shoulder. Instead of listening to your attempts, he simply offers through a smirk, “If you’re such a pro, why don’t you do it then?”

“What? Me?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi adjusts the towel on his shoulders before stopping in front of solid double doors. “Be a good girl and wait in my room.”

“But”–you pause, wondering if you should tell him that you need to leave on time today–“I don’t know if I–”

“You can,” he says with confidence. Adjusting your body so that you face the hallway again, he slaps your ass before ordering, “Now go, brat. I’m already late.”

Checking your phone for any new messages, you cock a brow when nothing graces your lock screen. Odd. He’s supposed to be coming soon.

But you still wait like the good girl you are. The good girl that deserves jail time.

Laid out on the leather sofa that sits in Yoongi’s room, you start playing with the seams of your shorts, thinking about nothing and everything. The time he cornered you in your dressing room, the time you practiced with him and Hoseok and Namjoon…

You should feel ashamed. Do you? You really should. Because what would h—

The swing of a door hits your ears.

Jolting from the couch, you feel the intense aura Yoongi brings into the room, its magnetism and fire gravitating you to his form. Even while he’s on his phone, typing away, your reaction to his entrance is visceral. Foolish. That damned combination of confidence and aloofness is what always gets you, and you can see them both in the way he pockets his device and dumps himself where you were just lying.

Ass. He doesn’t need to slump his arms over the back of the sofa like a bored king.

“Well?”

Blinking at his already impatient tone, you reply, “What do you mean, well?”

Yoongi simply points to his sarcastic as fuck expression. “Get to it, miss nurse.”

With a roll of your eyes, you sigh, going over to him with heated steps. In a bout of pettiness, you yank the white towel from one side of his neck before strutting away to his sink, cheeks warming when you hear a gravelly laugh nudge your back.

“If they ever change those uniforms, I’m retiring.”

“You’ll never retire,” you retort, dousing the fabric in cold water. “Not as long as you’re making bank and fucking ring girls for free.”

Another puff of mirth erupts. “Read me like a fucking book.”

“I assure you your book is like, two lines long.” When you’re done wringing the towel, you rummage through a nearby medicine cabinet for rubbing alcohol before making your way back.

It’s not the silence that gives you pause, but the way Yoongi stares at you—a shrouded expression that you’ve seen grace his face more often lately. Swallowing your thoughts, you remind yourself that you really don’t have time to screw around—literally—so you need to make this quick.

The plan was to sit next to him while cleaning his face.

But the wide spread of his legs doesn’t make that possible.

“Can you move? I need to sit.”

Yoongi’s smile is lopsided, and you absolutely abhor the fact that it’s even hotter while sporting a cut. He takes no arms off the back of the sofa, only prodding a cheek with his tongue before mentioning, “Got a seat for you right here, ring girl.”

“Ugh, stop,” you plead, “I gotta go soon!”

“Then you better hurry up, huh?”

Huffing one last time, you wordlessly straddle his white sweats, already plotting revenge on his cockiness and entitlement. “Screw you, Min Yoongi,” you hiss to his shameless face checking out your bunched shorts and exaggerated cleavage.

“Yes, please.”

When you feel a hand snake around to cup your ass, you swat it away. “No funny business. I’m just cleaning you up and heading out.”

“Uh huh,” the boxer responds, obviously unconvinced.

The wounds on Yoongi’s face are already dried. Seeing his otherwise unblemished skin, still coated with a light sheen, you find it harder and harder to concentrate.

Why the fuck does he have to be so attractive? And why the hell can’t you contain yourself around him anymore? Damn that stupid dressing room incident. And damn this man licking his lips while looking at yours.

“Tick tock, doll.”

“Fuck,” you whisper, embarrassment drenching you when Yoongi grins in pride. “Okay, stay still.”

At first, you solely concentrate on cleaning and wiping the dried blood out of his cuts. Having seen this done dozens of times before, you already semi-knew what to do, making sure to get them ready for the antiseptic.

But over time, your pinched brows and bitten lip slowly relaxed, giving away to a different expression. Surprisingly, cleaning someone’s injuries is quite intimate. And it doesn’t help that you’re straddling this particular patient, nor does it help that at some point, his eyes had also softened and his arms had wrapped around your waist.

You’re completely silent when you stop wiping Yoongi down, not saying anything as you put alcohol on the towel. When you finally speak, your voice comes out as a whisper, “This part might hurt.”

He only flicks his eyebrows up once in wordless reply, his eyes still staring at your tongue darting out to wet your lips. Strange. Usually he has a cheeky answer ready to fire.

You get through the next part of cleaning without a hitch, trying your best to ignore the way Yoongi started rubbing his thumbs on your lower back. His phone even vibrated a couple times and he completely ignored it, which never happens—unless he’s rearranging someone’s stomach or is jammed into their throat.

“That should do it,” you conclude, using the other side of the long towel to wipe him dry. “And now I really have to go.”

“Kiss me.”

Your brain grinds to a halt. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Did you accidentally rub alcohol on his brain? What’s with him? You both know the only things you’re capable of are quick flings, though even those are crossing the line for you. He’s never once asked for something so simple. “Yoongi, I—”

“Just one.” He squeezes his veiny arms around you, licking the lips you just swiped clean. “Come on, pretty girl. Think of it as a thank you.”

“Fine,” you surrender, chucking the towel as close to the nearest bin as possible. “Entitled ass.”

“You love it.”

Staring at his face, perfect except for the dust of cuts and other wounds, you find him wildly attractive in the moment. Scarily attractive. Almost enough to make you—

His lips meet yours and cut your train of thought short.

Already smothered in Yoongi’s embrace, you lean into his touch without any further coercion, slinging your arms around his sweaty neck and pulling at the ends of his hair. Fuck, you wanted to do this ever since he got in the ring. You want to do this every time he’s within two feet of your beating heart.

He tugs your bottom lip before releasing it with a pop. “What did I just say,” he asks, voice deep and laden with cockiness.

“Just shut up.” You smash your lips back onto his, rolling your hips like you’re more angry with him than anything.

Because you are. Goddamn it, you are. Angry with him, with the man that gave him those wounds in the first place, with yourself–you aren’t quite sure. But you start to flex your thighs on his again and again and again, enough for a mischievous laugh to rumble from his chest.

You know you don’t have a lot of time–no time, frankly–and yet you can’t force yourself away. Not in the slightest. Willpower has no meaning, especially when you start to feel evidence of his own lust building under your core.

“Don’t seem rushed to leave now, do you? All it takes is getting you on my lap?” Yoongi swats your asscheek before grabbing it in his veiny hands. “Too easy.”

“No, I…” You pepper kisses along his stupid face, careful to miss his injuries but careless with your words between each peck. “I need to go. He’s waiting for me. I shouldn’t be here.”

Yoongi’s eyes remain lidded while you lather his face in your love. When you see them widen slightly at something behind you, no time is given for you to escape his death grip and sudden rough kiss to your puffy lips.

What’s—

Light and sound burst into the room when the door opens, and your entire heart slams to the ground when you hear a very, horrifyingly familiar voice,

“Yoongi! What’s up, my bro?”

Holy fuck.

Is that Jin?

Jin. Seokjin. Your boyfriend, Seokjin?

Nothing can describe the outright dread you feel in your center, creeping down your limbs like sinister molasses and rendering you powerless. Life with Seokjin flashes before your eyes, second after second unraveling and pricking your heart until it bleeds out.

You’re fully situated on Yoongi’s hard-on; Jin is standing in the doorway; Yoongi’s greeting him as if they’ve known each other for years.

“Sup, idiot.”

“You didn’t see my texts?” Your nightmare slowly walks over with his hands in his suit pockets, hollow clinks echoing from under his high-end shoes. Mortified, you stay still—unblinking in your compromising position and feeling a burning sensation in the corners of your eyes. “Just left work early to pick up someone that needed a ride.”

It’s when he finishes his explanation that he finally looks down at your shock, features unmoving when he plainly greets, “Hi, angel.”

You choke on an empty sob, biting your lip to keep it from quivering. It’s too late to make it seem like anything else, too late to dismount from Yoongi’s warmth. But instead of mentioning a breakup or vowing severe punishment, your boyfriend simply walks off to grab a chair, twisting it toward you and settling in.

…What the fuck.

What the fuck?

What’s happening? What’s he doing? Shouldn’t this situation be a textbook example of how a relationship ends? You’re literally straddling another man’s thighs—panties and shorts soaked through and lips puffed and smeared—and your boyfriend grabs a goddamn seat?

And why did he come in only to say hi so casually to Yoongi?

Your haze is sliced with words, considerate in meaning but cold in tone, “Don’t let me distract you.”

Your eyes widen to the point of pain. “What?”

Seokjin simply dusts a speck of nothing off his thigh. “You’re clearly in the middle of something, sweetheart.”

“But… I…” You strain your neck to keep your eyes on his lax form behind you, turning to briefly face Yoongi’s bored expression before swerving around again. “You’re not… Upset?”

A chilling laugh bubbles from your boyfriend’s throat. It’s enough to cast goosebumps on your arms, and you can only sit there in complete awe. When he speaks, you turn into ice.

“You think I don’t already know?”

Another devilish sound pierces you through. “Oh, doll… You have no idea, do you?”

The sudden reveal throws you for a thousand loops, twisting your brain and dissolving it into mush.

Jin knows? What does that mean? What does he know about? When you stare at Yoongi, taking in his fiendish smile and curved eyes, you can’t think of a single coherent thought. Your legs are suddenly both jelly and lead, unmoving when you try to yank yourself upward.

“Go on then, sweetheart,” you boyfriend goads, “Your cunt’s already wet, isn’t it? I bet it’s throbbing just from getting caught, huh?”

Why the fuck is he so right!

A small whimper escapes you as Yoongi tugs you down onto his clothed cock, his eyes narrowed and glinting. “Answer him.”

“Yes—”

“Louder.”

“Yes!” you squeak out, whining when Yoongi lifts you and forces your deadened legs to cooperate in keeping you upright. As you stand limp before him, confused, he cocks his head.

“If you wanna be a dirty whore so bad, show him then, princess.”

You’re completely conflicted right now. On one hand, you’re hyper aware of your feelings regarding both of the men watching you, and the realization that they both know about each other still hasn’t quite processed in your brain. On the other hand, you really don’t know if your boyfriend is okay with what’s happening. Does he really not mind? Is he really okay with sharing?

Turning to face him, you watch his dark expression when you ask, “Is this really okay?”

“Now you wanna ask?”

Your heart flatlines.

“What about all those other times, angel? Did you feel like asking me then?”

His relentless onslaught is valid and destructive. You feel incredibly sick to your stomach, all the times you’ve gone behind his back now laughing at you with disdain. Without much prelude, tears start rolling down your cheeks and you feel a hollowness in your throat. “Baby, I—”

Jin’s already out of his chair, going to you and encasing you in his familiar cologne. When he brings a hand up, it’s only to softly cup your chin, his lips claiming yours in a deep, tender kiss right after. He’s uncaring about the way your lipstick smeared, or the way you must taste metallic, which further serves to confuse you.

When Seokjin slowly pulls away, you meet his lidded eyes like he holds your entire existence in his palms. Rubbing your cheek with a thumb, he whispers, “It’s okay. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

As his hand falls away and his warmth leaves your chest, you breathe, “You don’t?”

“With the way you always look at me? Even now? I know you know who you belong to.” Mocking contemplation, he leers at you while rubbing his chin.

And at his sudden drop in tone, you fear him more than Death itself.

“I just need to see how you’re getting fucked behind my back, that’s all.”

Oh, fuck.

You are so fucked.

“You heard your man, baby girl,” Yoongi finally growls, grabbing your hips and forcing you to fall back onto his lap. Roughly grabbing your face to squish it, he has you look straight at your boyfriend alongside him. “Let’s give him a show.”

Jin’s already back in his seat, glaring as Yoongi drags your top downward to release your breasts. As you yelp, he cups your throat and snaps the band of your shorts. “Take these off. Hurry up.”

Air supply cut short, you watch your boyfriend’s expression as you shakily tug down your uniform bottoms, lifting your ass off Yoongi’s legs to slide them off fully. Strings of your slick taper from your cunt as the garments hit the floor, and you can feel more than see the change in Jin’s eyes.

Yoongi’s voice is deeper than trenches when he commands, “Spread those fucking legs. Wider.”

You push your lips together as you obey, splayed out on Yoongi’s all-white tracksuit, drenched cunt facing your silent boyfriend. Your head rests heavily on his collarbone, but you can’t bring yourself to move.

“You see that, hyung,” Yoongi questions from behind as he brings a hand down to open your lips further. “Knew she couldn’t wait to get caught. Dirty whore.”

He gives your clit a quick slap before releasing your throat to get his dick out, and you gasp for precious oxygen while reeling from the pleasurable sting.

The fact that Seokjin is actually fine with all of this happening intrigues you and turns you on tenfold, your highest fantasy being this exact scenario unfolding right now. How did you get so lucky? It’s like they both knew exactly what you needed, wanted, craved before anything else.

Yoongi was on his phone when he came into the room initially. Was Seokjin the one he was texting? This is all too much to take in. But they’re both here, both acutely aware of everything you do, devouring you with their eyes.

Despite this ridiculous miracle, something is missing. You feel it in your bones.

Is it the fact that you want to be… rightfully punished for this? For your sins? It can’t be that. It can’t be how you truly feel.

But when Yoongi growls his next words, you banish all of those thoughts at once.

“You should be fuckin’ ashamed.”

What you feel against your back is his cock—solid as a rock; what you feel against your front is his fingers seizing a nipple and pulling hard. You cry out at the pain, whimpering when his hand slips down to tease your clit.

“Deepthroating us behind his back. Getting a train run on you. Telling him nothing.”

Two fingers plunge into your cunt, curling upward to hit exactly where you want them to. You’re temporarily blinded and screaming out indecipherable syllables.

“Finger-fucked while he’s right in front of you. Can’t believe he still wants to fuck this cunt. You don’t deserve him.”

“I don’t,” you agree wholeheartedly as your body fucks long fingers, eyes shooting lust right into the ceiling. “I don’t.”

“Lift your ass up. You’re gonna take this dick like the ungrateful slut you are.”

Shit, did you just hear Jin groan?

Teeth nick your ear before pouring more and more filth inside. Abruptly, soaked fingers are removed from your core with another quick slap, skirting around your hips to lube a throbbing cock behind you. As your vision descends back to your boyfriend, your lower back feels just how wet you got Yoongi’s digits.

“I said lift this ass up.” When rough hands grip your hips, you feel your asscheeks grind up Yoongi’s jacket, sweat and desire causing your skin to slide and heat up to a thousand degrees.

Immediately, you’re speared by Yoongi’s girth, arching your back and crying out when your cunt pulses wildly against its wide head. Your legs shake on impact, straining every muscle to keep yourself upright. “Yoongi!”

“That’s right, princess,” he grits into your neck, thrusting up into you without a shred of hesitation. “Keep saying who you really belong to.”

Jin’s low voice darts across the room in an instant, “Watch it.”

You’re absolutely certain Yoongi’s grinning back in response behind your mussed hair and bouncing chest, and being the object of both their desires in the moment flings you into another universe of ecstasy. Hands make their way to both of your breasts, groping them hard before pinching your nipples.

“Fuck!” Your breath is next to gone, lost to moans and whines as you’re being wrecked between your legs.

“You like that?” Both of Yoongi’s arms tug you down, slamming you right to the base of his cock and holding you there to take his fast movements. He completely revels in your cries when he laughs, “Of course you do. Dirty fucking whore.”

It hurts so good. Your walls are being spread again and again and again, and you have to relax them to allow Yoongi more room to intrude. “Oh, my god,” you gasp out, “Yoongi, please!”

He has to know your legs are giving out. That your thighs are blocks of exhausted muscle—nothing more. But even if he does, Yoongi doesn’t care in the slightest, ramming his cock inside you so deep that your stomach will walk away with the same bruises on his face.

“Your girl feels so good around my cock, hyung,” he taunts, his hot breath rolling down your sweat-slicked chest. “It’s like she doesn’t want me to leave.”

When you listen for a reply, you only get silence. And that seems to delight the younger man in the room, his dark chuckles assaulting your earlobe.

Damn him and his laughs. You can help but clench around his dick, and his reaction to that is to burst in higher pitched glee. “That’s right, baby girl. You know you’re really mine.”

The scraping of metal chair legs grinds your ears, and you snap your eyes to where your boyfriend is leaving his seat.

Oh, fuck. Is he leaving? No no no he can’t leave. Is he really mad now? Fuck, he’s livid. He doesn’t want you anymore.

“Baby!” you suddenly plead, “Come here—”

“Save it.”

Fuck! He didn’t even address you by any names. Fuck fuck fuck!

Tears are rolling down your face, taking your makeup with them. “Jinnie—”

“Jinnie’s not concerned with a slut like you,” Yoongi sneers, thrusting up into you and making you see stars. You’re so damn conflicted, feeling euphoric in this state and in an outright panic in your gut. Why the hell do you feel this way? “Fuck, Jin, she’s clenching around me so fucking hard. This your girl?”

“I am,” you cry out. Pulling all your strength from your center, your lips quiver when you finally address Jin how you want to, how you’ve never addressed him anywhere else outside his lavish penthouse.

“Daddy, please—”

Yoongi stops.

Jin straightens.

When your boyfriend stalks forward, it’s not anger or fury embedded in his features. No. Not at all.

Seokjin is hunger incarnate.

His eyes may as well be bleeding black all the way through, and you forget any strain you feel in your muscles at the sight of them. When you dart your gaze down, the angry bulge in his pants makes you wetter than you’ve ever been, and you look at him with pure shock.

It seems that even Yoongi feels the shift in the room when you say it. You never said it during his competition with Hoseok and Namjoon. Only the latter implied that you did when you were fucking him.

But now, after hearing that fly out of your mouth, something in him snaps because he transforms into another beast entirely. Seokjin doesn’t even make it all the way to you before your arms are held back at their elbows, arching you forward and allowing next to no movement. A strangled whine leaves your mouth as your face is tilted to the ceiling.

And all you see is your boyfriend staring down at your naked, restricted form, fully dressed in the designer suit he left work in.

Fuck, he is so goddamn fine.

Undisturbed by your pussy getting reamed, he simply brushes a thumb against your mouth. “Does my greedy girl want daddy? Want his generous dick in her mouth while she gets fucked?”

“Yes!” Your brows pinch in desperation. “Fuck yes, daddy.”

Immediately, Seokjin inserts a finger in you instead, leering down at your batting eyelashes. “I didn’t hear you,” he lies.

You’re about to shout louder when he inserts more, jamming his long digits in until you’re filled and moaning around him.

Holy shit. You’re going to hell. Just the feeling of Jin’s fingers in your mouth while Yoongi thrusts up into you is enough to get one foot over the edge. As your boyfriend regards you with a bored expression that can burn cities, your pussy wrestles Yoongi in a vice grip.

“Oh, fuck,” you hear him groan behind you, snaking a wet hand around your throat to cut off your air supply even more. You damn near blackout from the sensation of suffering at both their thick, veiny hands.

But Jin can sense it because he promptly yanks his fingers out, roughly patting your cheek with your saliva before tutting, “Guess that’s a no. Too bad.”

Fuck! Frustrated, you loll your head forward. You’ve been denied from so many things while being granted a million.

But he’s still here. Jin’s still here. Voluntarily watching you get split in two by a world-renowned boxer.

And you cannot describe how turned on that makes you.

Your pussy desperately aches for release around Yoongi, your high being so close from having Jin’s fully clothed form right in front of your debauchery. From being degraded, shamed, and spoiled all at once.

It seems that both men know your body well.

As soon as your breath hitches profusely, Yoongi bucks you forward and releases you entirely, making your spent form fumble to the ground on all fours. You’re lucky to get one hand planted correctly, your forearm and knees not as fortunate.

But no rest for the fucked. “Get up. Get on the couch.”

Your body barely cooperates as you strain to lift yourself. A three ton weight of exhaustion and shame pushes you down, biceps and thighs burning with betrayal. Turning your head to see Jin unphased, you catch a glimpse of something in his eyes, something carnal and sinful.

And you feel like the dirtiest and most wanted woman on the planet.

Yoongi leans down and grips your chin, snapping your face to his. “You good?”

The sudden question causes your brain to reset. “Yeah,” you blurt, confused.

“Bet.” Your limbs are softly pulled upward, and the fighter dumps you onto his couch with a grunt. Immediately swallowing your naked form in his unzipped jacket, he positions his cock at your entrance while murmuring, “Thought you hit the floor kinda hard.”

You almost don’t know how to respond to this Yoongi. Is he really acting… concerned? “I did,” you admit, “But not too bad.”

“Good girl.”

His dark bangs stick to his forehead, and you find yourself swelling with something dangerous. Whether it’s from his turn of character, or just seeing his face again, you aren’t sure and you don’t know how to feel about it.

You’ve been facing Jin that entire time. Why did your heart flutter either way?

Sweat drips onto your cheeks as Yoongi whispers, “Eyes on me.”

As you flick your gaze upward at the command, he pushes himself back inside your throbbing cunt, the pair of you groaning at the connection. Overwhelmed by multiple emotions, your heart starts to bang the walls of your chest, as if being charmed by Yoongi’s spell.

Because what was that? What did you feel just then? There existed something in the pair of eyes above you, something you didn’t want to address.

“Always so fucking tight,” Yoongi grits, fully sheathing himself before increasing his pace faster and faster. “Too tight for a slut.”

And just like that, the spell dissipates, and you’re a shaking mess under his attack. Thrust after thrust after deep thrust shoves you into the arm of the sofa, and your finally freed hands grab onto his sleeves for support. “Yoongi, fuck!”

“Just like that, doll,” he growls with purpose, “Say my name again.”

“Yoongi—”

He shoves his cock so far into you that you taste him on your tongue. “Louder.”

Eyes squeezed tight, you rip his name out of your throat, gasping when he sets a relentless pace, the ridges of his dick rubbing so well against your walls that you feel your high approaching fast again. “Oh, my god!”

Yoongi then grabs your outside leg to lift over his shoulder, his brows furrowing in focus as he leans further into you. “You gonna come for me, angel? I feel it. You can’t hide from me.”

“I wanna,” you wheeze out, body limp and thrumming all over with pleasure. “So bad.”

“Then come. Come for me, you dirty whore.”

You feel a fire flare inside your chest.

Because there’s a single, astute truth that you can’t escape. An understanding that you’ve solidified into fact.

And the only other person that knows this about you is sitting right across the room.

You sense his lips curve in pride, his confidence drowning the room from floor to chipped ceiling. When you turn your head, he’s already standing, hands planted on his hips and slightly lifting the ends of his jacket.

“Daddy,” you call out to him, ignoring Yoongi’s stare completely. When Seokjin tilts his head, you finish the sentence you always request in his presence without fail, “Can I?”

And ever his favorite answer, he denies, “No.”

“Please, I—” Turning back to Yoongi, you moan as he continues to plunge into you, strokes getting rougher as he plants a frustrated hand on the back of the couch. Staring right into the fighter’s eyes, you admit to Jin, “It feels so good.”

Yoongi groans above you while you hear a scoff. “Why should I let you, sweetheart?”

“Because… I… Fuck!” It’s when you’re speaking that Yoongi decides to lift your other leg up, hoisting them both over your body to fold you tight. Your words become unintelligible as you keep pleading to him, to Yoongi, to anyone. It’s all too much to handle. Your pussy is reaching its breaking point and you need release. Now.

But ever patient, Jin simply asks again, “Because what, angel?”

Hot tears are quick to form in your eyes, rolling down into your ears as Yoongi continues to stroke at a torturous pace. Your coil is winding and winding and you don’t know if anyone on Earth would be able to stop it now. Stomach squished and face burning, you cry out, “I’ll be good! I’ll do anything! Just, please!”

“Not good enough.”

What the fucking hell! Seokjin knows you need release. He knows how much you’re burning from the inside. He knows how sorry you are even though he knew everything.

Dry sobs destroy your throat, the stimulation coming from everywhere—inside and outside, Yoongi and Seokjin—overwhelming and driving you over an edge you’ve never reached before. The coil twists and winds and curves into itself terrifyingly taut. Tighter and tighter and too fucking tight.

“I need it!” you choke out, as if you’ll never say another word again. “I’ll do whatever you want! Please!”

Finally—finally—Jin drags you to paradise.

“Then go ahead, sweetheart. Come like you do for daddy.”

Like a dam crumbling, you come violently around Yoongi at his words, trembling and shaking and throwing your head all the way back. Waves crash against your body as your limbs lock at hard angles, pummeling you all the way to your proverbial shore.

Above you, Yoongi releases a guttural moan, stuttering his hips when you milk him impossibly hard. “What the fuck!” With an erratic pace, he spills inside of you, string after molten string painting your walls white. Sweat from his cut brow drips onto your face, and the skin you can see under his white clothing is flushed as red as the robe he wears into the ring.

Your legs fall back straight.

One breath. Then another.

Seconds later, it feels like centuries have passed. You’re a limp mess on the sofa, molding with its damp leather as you lie completely still.

In a slightly better state, Yoongi pulls out and spreads your numb thighs, letting one of your legs dangle off the furniture. “Look at you,” he sneers with no heat behind it, “Dripping out another man’s cum in front of daddy.”

You can only whimper under his lustful gaze, knowing both of them are focused on the same thing.

The boxer tucks his cock back inside his pants, adjusting the band on his hips. Drinking up your splayed out form one more time, he praises in a low tone, “Fuck, Jin, she’s perfect.”

“I know.”

Crouching, Yoongi takes his fingers to slowly shove some of his essence back inside your cunt, making you clench again way too soon. “You’re gonna keep all this in you for later, princess,” he commands in a voice only you can hear.

Which confuses you because you can’t find a reason why. It’s not like he’ll get another chance anytime soon, especially when Jin is walking toward you the way he is now.

When he reaches your exhausted heap, you finally see the glint of a belt buckle in front of your eyes. A belt buckle you recognize to the point of drooling at the very sight.

Your eyes follow his as he lowers himself to face-level. “Did you enjoy that, angel?” he asks, wiping a comforting thumb across your forehead.

“I did,” you croak, voice rasp and eternally thankful.

Seokjin is silent for a moment before he breathes from his nose. “So did I,” he admits, “I like when my baby gets to have fun.”

“I should’ve told you,” you whisper, eyes getting much too heavy to keep open. “About before.”

“You should have. You’re right.” Another caress of your hair. When he turns to his side, he grabs the clothes that Yoongi brought over, though you don’t have the energy to question why. “But I’m not mad.”

“Okay,” you reply, smaller than a whisper. “Love you, Jinnie.”

“Love you, too, sweetheart.” He slips an arm under your tired bones, lifting you slightly and urging you to stay awake just a bit longer. “Dress up and we can go home.”

“K.”

It takes you much longer than it should to put four pieces of clothing back on, but your present company doesn’t pay you any mind, their voices filling another part of the room. You don’t know exactly what the topic of conversation is, though you can throw in a guess. Give or take a few.

All you know for sure is that you’re going to need a weeks’ worth of time to process what just happened.

Truthfully, it all feels like a fever dream. From the moment Jin walked through that door, your mind had nestled itself inside another plane of existence, floating above the clouds at unreachable heights.

But once you finally realize—days from now—that it was all true, you know you’re going to be faced with a multitude of emotions and feelings that need sorting out. Especially the few that sparked between you and the man talking to your boyfriend.

Regardless, that’s for another time. Now, you need to thank Seokjin for everything under the Sun, revolve around him endlessly like an infatuated moon.

“I’m ready,” you rasp out, causing both men to turn back to you.

Jin comes to your side immediately, with Yoongi strolling behind, hands deep in his pockets. With a sure hand on your back, your boyfriend kisses your forehead before leading you towards the exit. Once there, he lightly lets you past the threshold before turning behind him.

“And Yoongi?”

Intrigued, you pop your head around his wide chest before the fighter eloquently responds.

“What.”

Seokjin’s tone is playful when he taunts, “It’s cute. How you think she’s yours.”

Your face reaches high temperatures in immediate embarrassment. Or is it pride? You don’t know for sure.

Yoongi simply rubs his bottom lip, smirking more at you than his addresser.

“You always forget, hyung.” He huffs out a laugh, teeth shining with confidence and the knowledge that his cum is still inside you. “I never lose.”

A/N: dsljkfnsdljkfh soooo.. i know this is super sudden.. but a burst of inspiration and the power of friendship is a lethal fic-writing combo. anyways, hope you all like it despite the themes sdklfjd dee you better know how much ily bc i can’t write infidelity without sobbing AHH i can’t do this again!! ++ feedback box (new!): ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that aren’t okay with reblogging with a review, commenting on this, or sending a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a feedback dropbox :D ⇥ here! ++ ⇥ masterlist

#bts fic #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #yoongi smut #bangtanbathhouse #bangtansorciere #armysource #houseofddaeng #dailydaegu #yoongi x reader #fanfiction #blacklist tag for fics:#*ryenfictalk #seokjin smut #bts smut #ryenwrites #*latest #yoonjin smut

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