#and it’s because i have a parasocial relationship with him
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#i had a good cry#let all those feelings out#things got too me too quickly and i felt overwhelmed#i’m much more calm now#my friend and i had a conversation that put a lot of things into perspective#she’s a g/aylor so she’s gone through her fair share of bullshit too#it’s bad that this is getting to me to the point i have a breakdown#and it’s because i have a parasocial relationship with him#at the end of the day we don’t know him personally. we don’t know what goes behind the scenes#and maybe distancing myself a bit from the whole personal aspect of him would be better#also something else. we all have a parasocial relationship with him#la/rries. antis. solos. the people that spend their time hating on him#we all care so much about what he does to the point it gets to us#i still love him and his music and call me crazy but i’m still going to his shows and buying 28op#and i’m gonna play the hell out of lt3 when it comes out#because i enjoy his music and his work. and to me that’s all that matters#whatever his personal life is. whether h and l are still together or broke up or it was just a fling. that shouldn’t matter#don’t get me wrong i still believe in la/rry. nothing can stop me from believing it. but it shouldn’t take so much space in my life#i’m still gonna stream his music. i’m still gonna blog about him. i’m still gonna be his fan#i’m still gonna gif him#but i’m gonna work so hard to make it healthy#somehow i’ve managed to do that with h already#so yeah just lots of words#treating this site like my personal diary aksjsjksjsjs#also @ parasocial relationship anon. somehow i feel offended by it but that’s a me thing not a you thing. and it’s true#logan.txt
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the fact that they could just casually introduce the new places of the phouse or even film the videos there without really mentioning it, but noo, they decided to make A Thing out of it.
it makes me think of the role their living spaces have played in this parasocial (and sarapocial) relationship we have. because they've always been A Thing, that's nothing new.
their beds became part of their brand, they let the internet into every inch of their first london apartment during a time where they really gave their everything for youtube. then they took a step back, and set boundaries for themselves with the sets in the second (fake) london apartment.
it's understandable that they want to keep their (p)house for themselves and not let the whole world into this thing that's so intimately theirs. but, as they've mentioned before, at the same time they do want to show off what they've built and designed (pretty sure they talked about this on a stereo show or something). and they obviously know the curiosity is there on our part.
so when they share they do it deliberately and with purpose. and by making it such A Thing they're taking control in a way. because it's not us pointing out these things, they already make the jokes themselves, basically making fun of us but in the process still show us new corners of their house and let us in a little bit more.
it's like with 'they're touching', by pointing these things out themselves they take away some of the power we have over their experience but not any of the fun on our part. they acknowledge it and spin it in a way that works for them. at the same time it works for us because it's very transparent and they're not not doing that thing where they lie to us again (to quote them).
it's pretty neat this way I think.
#I wrote most of this while on the train this morning after definitely not having slept enough so I only take partial responsibility for this#dan and phil#phan#misty says things#also an I just say I love hank's video so much (the one I linked above)#it's so well put and such an interesting and important approach to parasocial relationships#this is only adjacently related to this post btw because I am aware he's mostly talking about his own experience there#and I don't want to project this too much on dnp#but also I just really like hank so here I am talking about him in the tags I guess
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hello. it is i, your friendly neighbourhood goblin that pops up every now and then to scream about something new.
i love damien haas.
this has been a psa.
#i just made a very long post about parasocial relationships and saved it in my drafts because i just needed to sort my thoughts out#never meant to publish it and never will#but it was about damien and youtubers and streamers and how they're Different and harder to deal with than like tv stars#i mean well duh but i've not been into that many youtubers like this. there's dan howell and drawfee and geoff castellucci#and none of those was to the level i've had with traditional media celebrities#but anyway i talked about him and i also just needed to scream into the void about how much i love him and how much i relate to him#and how seen he makes me feel#and safe#like i for real wish i could be his friend and tell him how awesome he is (and also like. so fine)#how parasocial of me#but i dealt with that in The Post That Shall Not See The Light Of Day so no tangent on that#also i have realised that nearly every time i've been really ADHD hyperfixated on a real person on here i've also been real limerent#like it's not just a crush it's limerence baby!#and i need to work on the underlying issues there#but that was also addressed in The Post so it's okay#but yeah i was psyched to learn about the concept of limerence#it me! every time!#internal monologue#damien haas
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HOW DID I FUCKING FORGOT IT WAS MAX'S BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD I AM SO DUMB HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX KNOW THAT YOUR MERCH POPULATES MY VIRGINITY CORNER
#clarification: I have a bunch of F1 themed stuff that's mostly RedBull/Max themed#I call it the verginity corner cause being a RedBull fan in Italy is a surefire way to never get laid#not that I was having much luck before#ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!!!! Happy birthday to the guy who got me into this sport#simply because I believed the memes about his dominance must have been exaggerated#Like nobody can win this much#right?#but he could. I miss those days. Anyway happy birthday to my most dangerous parasocial relationship#I am still firmly convinced I could pull him if he wasn't an F1 driver#he could infodump to me about cats and I could infodump him on. So much fucking stuff.#(also thanks Max for getting into F1 which made me grew closer with a friend because we're the only F1 fans in the friend group)#max verstappen
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the way i need to write about roksana so bad
#personal#i could write a book about that woman i love her so much#her story is so so similar to vitali but from a different perspective but like. they're the same person to a degree#even her arc with like. cutting her hair short and bleaching it. that's LITERALLY what vitali did as well#obviously vitali is a guy but he was a daughter once. both him and roksana went through the same thing and went insane about it#+ roksana's weird obsession with mikhail which has stayed around all those years because she sees him as like. a symbol of freedom#because vitali was always with him and loved him etc etc. all of that made roksana love him too?? if that makes sense??#parasocial relationship with your older brother's bestie. because it's the only thing she's ever known. i need to chew on glass#and the way she feels like it's her responsibility to carry the burdens of her family because her older brothers both left#so she feels like she has to stick around and clean up the remaining messes to have some sort of semblance of a family again#but her parents are out for revenge and her mother has given up and her father is still trying. there's the whole affair thing with ravager#roksana has infiltrate vitali's office and of course she goes to do that. but with her own agenda in it all#trying to get closer to mikhail again as if she will succeed this time and finally get that freedom she's always longed for#and then she realizes that it was never about finding someone to run away with. it has to come from within yourself#and then she leaves. and she leaves so far that no one knows where she went for a good amount of years#AND IT'S SO INSANE TO ME. she did not have to go through any of that#and maybe if she and vitali had talked more and had tried to understand each other more they could've helped each other#instead of just. become strangers. while being quite literally EXACTLY the same. GOD!
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Sometimes I feel like the things I post about Yuzuru are just too inadequate for the admiration I have for him and the impact his skating has had on my life. I genuinely just am in constant awe of his particular style as an artist and his determination. He’s just inspired me a lot in many aspects of my life and I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to put it into words
#it’s odd to admire someone who I don’t even know#not to come across as having a parasocial relationship because I like to think I don’t 😭#but nah he’s just inspired me for years and I’ll never really be able to fully describe it#I did draw him today but y’all will never see it 🥳#yuzuru hanyu
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“lmm popscare” is so unoriginal y’all. write some new jokes. it’s just boring at this point.
#there's actual legit reasons for people to dislike him of course!!#just how there is with every celebrity#but at this point it's just copy and paste#while also spamming fandom tags with it#it's so unoriginal and tired#but then again when have these people ever been known for their originality#they just hop onto whatever train the internet has decided to run through someone and ride it far past the final stop#y'all claim to hate him but I also see y'all making every single thing he writes become a trend so...#hard for someone to be “untalented” when you eat up their work every time#sorry I'm annoyed and on my period#like I said you are WELL within your rights to not like him but its literally all the tag is rn#and some of us are mentally ill and need their parasocial relationship fueled#“why is he in everything?” uhhh idk prob bc you watch it every time and make his name trend with every project??#I personally think it's because he's a talented actor but y'all clearly don't so...
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The kind of people Babish's new video has attracted. Jesus fucking Christ.
#theskinwalkerqueenspeaks#binging with babish#babish culinary universe#andrew rea#andrew rea babish#terfs dni#seriously i will fucking fill your nasal cavity with cooking oil#do not touch my gods damn post#cringing with babish#i loved this guy a lot#his channel was a comfort to me#i learned so much about food and cooking from him#he literally doesn't know me so this isn't a personal betrayal thing#i don't have a parasocial relationship with him i don't know him and he doesn't know me#but it still fucking hurts when someone you looked up to turns out to be a shitty person#the news that he took the sponsorship ruined my entire night#i'm just so sad and angry because people i look up to keep turning out to not give a shit about me or my community#sorry for the rant i'm just really upset
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I love garmau in a tragic way
#she will never love him like he loves her and he needs to stop seeing her as the lord who saved him#a single guiding star in the sky#parasocial relationship behaviour#he sees her as a beacon#i love garroth having an unhealthy attachment to aphmau because he feels guilty for how good she makes him feel and how she saved him on#multiple occasions so he worships her#and sees her as an angel#she just loves him as a friend#i love angst okay?#garroth mcd#mcd#minecraft diaries#garroth ro'meave#mcd rewrite#garmau
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#the chappell roan situation has made me realize that in the past i’ve crossed boundaries when it comes to louis#nothing like following him or stalking him but being obsessed with his location and following those close to him#i’ve realized that’s not good as i have no right to intrude in his life like that#just because he includes us in his success and shows appreciation and love for us as a collective#doesn’t mean i have the right his boundaries#seeing videos of fans following him when he’s leaving airports or touching him when he’s asked for space#and people following everything his family does obsessively#makes me uncomfortable and i can’t imagine how it makes him feel to have those boundaries disrespected when he’s explicitly stated them#it’s hard to realize you’ve engaged in things that aren’t normal as a fan but i have to recognize my mistakes#having a parasocial relationship with him makes the lines blur but i’ll be working towards being a better fan and not disrespect him#i’m glad chappell spoke up about this and i hope more artists do so because people need to hear this and respect artists#logan.txt
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how it feels to chew five stickmen. stimulate your senses
#avm#read this if you dare#this doesnt even come CLOSE to explaining everything goin on inside my head#but i guess i can note some stuff#firstly blue is such a little hater because he REALLY isnt cool with people who have hurt his friends#its like they get all older brother about it so thats why they still hate mango's guts#two a lot of the color gang consider red as a younger brother/just a sibling#and three the romantic relationships; purple might've sorta developed a crush on green but he doesnt know that#so he thinks of them as a friend and they dont wanna mess things up so to the friendzone they go#next endie and red have a thing for each other but endie is so dense about it and they dont see each other enough to go anywhere#so they stay friends for now but the others all know endie has a massive crush on red#and lastly vic has given mango the tittle of hot guy i wont shut up about except he doesnt know them so its a bit weird and parasocial#you know the drill#and all of these. arent fully canon in my mind it depends#im not one to genuinely believe in ships in canon unless stated otherwise by the media#maybe purple is the exception cus i see him doing that thing where someone your age shows you a pixel of kindness and you're head over heels#animation vs Minecraft#i actually reccomend doing this even if its not understandable too#its fun to think about#OH and green has a complicated relationship with mango because he isnt sure he's good for purple yet he has to prove himself#but he wont tell him that#on the other hand mango respects him as purple's friend#im not tagging all of these#avm ships#i guess
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some of you need to learn to be less personally offended by writers saying “canon is just the things that explicitly happen in the show/book/movie”
#can’t believe i’m defending n*il g*iman i don’t even like the guy’s books and i have a tumblr vendetta against him#i genuinely don’t know much about him as a person except that he married am*nda p*lmer and therefore has extremely questionable judgment#so despite how much this website loves to throw the term parasocial around i have no parasocial attachment to him i just care about facts#but i just read two blog posts of his (including a pre-tumblr one)#that people linked as ‘proof’ of him being homophobic to aziraphale/crowley shippers before the tv show came out#and they were literally just. completely reasonable posts saying ‘the text of the book does not say that they’re in a relationship#and things i say online or in interviews should not be taken as canon and neither should popular fan interpretations’#i think people were mad because he phrased it as ‘making things up’? but in context it clearly wasn’t meant as an insult#it was just a way to differentiate ‘things that are explicitly in the text’ and ‘things that you have to use your imagination for’#at no point did he say anything bad about shippers he just said that it wasn’t textual canon in the book. which is objectively true lol#and even then the more recent post was like ‘it’s not book canon but tv canon is different’ like he literally was supporting it lmao#idk maybe i’m not offended bc i’m not a shipper#but i really think you’ve gotta read those posts in the absolute worst faith possible to interpret them as homophobic/anti-shipper
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#if you were to tell me at the beginning of the year that i would develop an actual parasocial relationship with a 26 year old korean man#like if you told me i would spend three straight months of my life reading real person fanfic of two kpop idols#i would have laughed in your face#i would have told you you were silly and that i would never have real life emotional attachment to fucking jungkook of bts#because thats Insane and i know better than to project Actual Fondness onto a person i have never met whose job is to make you love him#like bro i did not understand it#i did not get it like the whole idea of it skeeved me out i still don't get it and yet here i am#three years ago i was like 'that jimin is pretty and i like the one with the eyebrows'#and now i watch taekook videos on youtube and analyze new tik toks like i'm trying to solve a fucking murder#what am i going to do when they go do their military service#anyway this brought to you by having an existential crisis after watching that man dance shirtless as a 32 year old asexual queer#i am going to have to tell people that my book is inspired by fucking abo taekook fanfiction#like real people i will have to tell#never stop taking your meds kids or you'll develop an unhealthy obsession with a kpop boy#learn from my mistakes
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tubbo was right about every single point he made, sapnap knows everything he said anyway and if he didnt hes an idiot for nlt researching shit. dropping him over this sucks
I agreed with a lot of tubbos points (while I think they lack some nuance) I just really really really disliked his approach to talking about it. and while I was watching and liveblogging it for you guys and he started getting riled up reading the pastebin I had a thought like 'he needs to end stream because he's getting emotional but I know he will never do that' and I realized how much the alt stream dynamic has been making me increasingly uncomfortable the past months. and that this is not a normal thing to do. and there's a reason why other streamers don't do this and it just crossed a line for me.
#i realized ive been wayyyy too parasocial and thats bad#and also that his parasocial relationship with chat has started making me uncomfortable#and this was just kinda that thing that pushed it over that line for me#i understand a lot of people followed me because of my tubbling ways#and i will still always defend him from all the stupid bullshit he got last year#but please feel free to unfollow if ur not okay with how my opinions have changed!!! liek seriously#askies
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i'm sure you've had other people telling you this but dream didn't make c!techno. technoblade made c!techno, and by dunking on c!techno's creator you are, in fact, dunking on a wonderful man who died from cancer at age 23 - not exactly a good look, imo.
a. do you really think dream magically became racist overnight and his friends were somehow COMPLETELY unaware of that fact until a twitter call out?
b. just straight up not gonna discuss either how all his fellow streamers didn’t leave until his racism blew up on twitter? probably due to revenue loss if they didn’t?
c. it’s sad to hear that he passed away very young but i did not say anything to indicate that i was making fun of his death. obviously that was not the point of the post and if that’s your take away then that’s a you problem.
d. i didn’t ask your for your opinion and i don’t care about it. tho i did explicitly say ‘correct me if i’m wrong.’ here’s the thing tho: everywhere, ESPECIALLY on tumblr, dreamSMP fans have continually lashed out at anyone who brings up racism in relation to it. i did say ‘correct me if i’m wrong,’ but after thinking about it more in-depth…i still stand by what i said due to points a and b. i did get the white youtubers mixed up but it’s still a pattern with these content creators. it has been in the gaming community for a long time.
#the point isn’t me dunking on the creator but rather the fanbase and general opinion regarding it as a whole#and leaving and no longer associating with a racist only AFTER those statements come to light doesn’t magically excuse the creators who#worked with dream either.#i would say that about every person that worked with him#i’m sorry that guy died very young and not celebrating his death#but that doesn’t mean i’m a monster for the points i made.#they’re valid criticisms.#if you have any legit points to make i will listen#but if it’s just you insulting me because i criticized someone you like#obviously i’m not going to listen#i’m sorry you formed a parasocial relationship with someone you don’t personally know#and feel that me calling that person out was an attack on your character somehow#you can always block me or walk away from the computer screen.#i’m sorry the insults and death threats you all sent me over an internet celebrity#didn’t really matter to me or hurt my feelings or whatever you wanted to accomplish#maybe next time try being normal about the things and people you like#seriously. how is him passing from cancer in any way related to anything i said. at all.
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The thing about dean winchester is that at this point he feels so straight camp, yet I know that jensen+writers are interpreting him as 100% serious but then he says shit that could very well be in riverdale like "umm sam it's so gay that you know the story of cinderella, I only watch porn because i'm straight btw". For them he is a lovable and charming asshole that gets a pass to say bitch and gay (derogatory) without it affecting negatively his heroic image because he wants to save people and has a strong jawline. But I know it in my heart that true dean winchester is using his extremely campy masculinity to make up for the fact that he lives in a constant panic of being found out having gay thoughts. Bela offers him to have hate sex no strings attached and instead of being like "yeah all bitches want me even the ones who hate me" he goes through all stages of panic ultimately landing in a utter revulsion face that screams that he wants to run away in hide. Jensen+nonbelievers will tell you that that is because he hates that woman sooo much and he so above her etc etc, but I can feel dean winchester himself coming alive in that scene and taking control of the puppet actor boy to show the real emotion of being surprised by someone matching is constructed fuckboy energy and disarming him by presenting him with an opportunity he did not see coming and therefore did not rehearsed before how to best straightman his reaction. I'm dying on the hill that he is bisexual but every time he fucks a woman is not the bisexuality coming through but instead his attempt at proving that he is not gay despite having gay thoughts. He interacts with women like he has to prove that is most definitely not thinking about dick from time to time, and uses them to reassure himself that the demons he is fighting are not bisexuality.
#spn#I'm rotating dean in my mind every time I take a break from binge watching and he is just so ugh I need to put in him the washing machine#I'm not gonna lie i'm allowing this parasocial relationship because I'm bored#but when I'm watching eps I have to sometimes pause after he says something stupid#I look him in the eye (screen) and tell him that I know that's not the real him#anyway I'm putting him in the box with jughead far away from the actor puppet boy because I GET HIM#I know him better than they do
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