#and it’s all canon to me baybee

[aleksikesa]

I really do love American Nightmare era Scratch cause why was bro at the Remedy offices stealing sugar packets and loose change

[asthedeathoflight]

This may be a crazy post to make in the year of our lord 2024 but Armand Interviewwiththevampire is what tntblr wanted cwilbur to be.

[pizzagame4000]

NOISETTE THEMED DOODLE DUMP ft. cheesecake and the spouses

copious hazel headcanons under the cut because i can’t help myself

first off: her name is Hazel 👍🏻 ik that’s a common one but it’s literally perfect… canon info to me

her favorite thing to do, besides making experimental food, is actually exercising! she’s an incredibly skilled acrobat and stunt artist, so she needs to be fit for that, but she also just enjoys letting the excess energy out bc she gets really cranky otherwise. she’s toned af and could wipe the floor with you - she doesn’t go around picking fights for no good reason, but if she did… heehee

she has such an unending well of passion for all of her interests that some find her to be too much but she dgaf… she’s unabashedly autistic and does NOT care if you don’t want to hear her infodump about obscure cheeseslime genetics, she will do it anyways

i like to think that, although she is very bubbly, she has an insane morbid streak that catches people off guard. she loves talking about anatomy and gross-out subjects to anyone who can stomach it, and cracks the most fucked up jokes - it’s one of the reasons her and noise get along so well. she is thinking about blood and guts because she thinks it’s interesting!!!! she will give you hyperspecific graphic threats of violence if you make her mad!!! teehee!!

i would put her at like… chaotic neutral but leaning towards good. she has an almost scientific fascination with violence and seeing what kinds of stress a body can take, and doesn’t mind watching shit unfold instead of helping… unless something actually super fucked up is going on (like way past canon typical pizza tower violence), she’s not going to bat for you lol she’s gonna grab a camera and clipboard

her interest in anatomy branches out into a love for biology, medicine and health in general - as much as she loves watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of some chump on live tv, she also loves studying how different creatures work and how to treat injuries. she almost became a doctor! but she didn’t like the rigid schedule and pressure, so she fostered her interest in dance and gymnastics, and went into television as a stunt double instead. that’s actually how she met noise! that’s why they look so much alike - she was told to inquire NTV for a job because of the resemblance. noise thought she was so cool she was asked to be his co-star instead, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

sometimes she gets tired of the noisette persona, but she does genuinely like theo, so it’s hard. she’s been more busy with this NTV gig (that’s looking more like a full blown career) than she would like, so that’s why she opened her cafe - to do something else for once dammit!! she likes weird shit, food included!!!

i have two shipping scenarios i like, so consider these parallel universes - hazel x vigi, and hazel x vigi x noise

if you don’t like negative takes on the noise relationship i’d recommend skipping to 2 ^_^

1. her relationship with noise deteriorates bc noise can’t accept the fact that hazel doesn’t wanna be noisette all the time! they’re so busy, he barely even makes time for her anymore - he barely even tolerates her! it’s not until vigi comes into the picture that she realizes she doesn’t have to deal w that mess. but it sucks cuz noise isn’t just her bf, but also like!!! a big part of her career!!! and she does genuinely love him but he’s just!!! an uncommunicative ass!!! it culminates in hazel leaving him and crashing at vigi’s farm because fuck it, it���s her life she does what she wants. she will kiss the cheese AND rebuild her tv career, on her own terms this time baybee

2. noise and hazel still have that issue but they actually communicate like adults and fix their relationship problems, so none of that shit happens! happy ending! hazel has her own life and theo actually lets his gf know he loves her! woah! enter vigi, in: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” imagining vigi as a third to hazel and theo, completely out of his depth but too bisexual to care, is SO funny to me lol… like hazel and him are probably the only two together at first but over time he and theo warm up to each other more (gay intent) and it’s perfect

[makethatelevenrings]

Vestiges of the Past // S. Riley x f!reader

a/n: probably the last thing I post for a bit before I scuttle off into LSAT mode once more. enjoy. I just really wanted to see a fic where Simon's girl is just as uhhhh murderous as he is. And so I wrote it.

warnings: reader is military, canon-typical descriptions of violence, Simon remembers what Roba did to him, SMUT 18+ ONLY, rough sex, under-discussed kink but it's all consensual, degrading language, biting, clawing, spitting, fucknasty baybee

The door to the dive bar creaked open as it scraped along the floor thanks to the dented hinges from one bar fight too many. Your boots scuffed along the wooden floor as you approached the woman seated at a small table with two beers in front of her. Pulling off your gloves, you stuffed them in the pocket of your hoodie and offered her a perfunctory nod.

“Laswell,” you greeted.

“Nice to see you again.” She motioned for you to sit and nudged the second beer in your direction. You took a seat and popped the cap off using the edge of the table before sitting back against the chair.

“What’s going on?” Short and to the point, she noted. Much like the masked man that typically shadowed you. Laswell had worked with Simon more than you, but she heard good things from John. So when this came across her desk, she knew she could trust you.

The blond pushed the file across the table and you stopped it with a single finger, brow raised in interest. You flipped it open and your brows furrowed as you read the information.

“I don’t understand,” you said as you lifted the papers and took in the photo of the target.

“Enrique Giraldo-Hernandez, Roba’s second-in-command,” Laswell explained. “After Roba’s death, Hernandez laid low and slowly built up the organization again until they popped back up on our radar.”

Your shoulders stiffened and you glanced up at the agent. “And why are you showing this to me?”

“In three days, 141 will be given the orders to capture him, alive, and to bring him back to American soil for trial.” Laswell pushed another manila folder towards you and watched your face carefully as you opened it. Your lips pursed, jaw tightened, and eyes darted all over the page as you took in the photos before you. One of your fingers moved to trace over the lines of the battered face in the image and you blanched at the sight of what Roba did to him.

You had seen Simon’s scars, of course. It had taken him time to take his mask off in front of you, but when he did, you steeled yourself so you didn’t flinch at the sight of the Glasgow smile and the scars that etched deep in the skin of his face and neck. You had merely pressed your forehead against his, hand stroking over the hair that curled at the nape of his neck, and stood in silence until he could breathe normally.

Seeing the images of Simon Riley’s broken body stretched out on a hospital bed after escaping that coffin made your blood boil. He had whispered some of his memories into the quiet of the night. You had traced the scars on his body too many times to count. Their ridges were a map you learned by touch alone.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Your voice was tight and laced with barely concealed rage. Was she taunting you?

“Because that gives you a three day head start.”

You left that night with a note written to Price and Simon explaining that MI6 needed your help with gathering intel.

People treated you as an outlier in the task force. The others served in the SAS while you were recruited from SFSG, a wizard at reconnaissance and intelligence. Ghost, Soap, and Gaz were the threats that people looked out for while you were just their errand girl. Simon relished in this realization as they suited up three days later to hunt down an organization that he thought was a ghost.

He remembered the first time he saw you.

Special forces recruits had gone through the first few stages of selection, whittling down the numbers to just about fifty individuals who hadn’t even gone through SERE yet. Simon was called to watch these next few rounds to ensure that the weak were culled. He had been on break for two weeks when he became twitchy so when Price offered this opportunity, he jumped at the chance.

The doors to the sparring gym were propped open, letting wind drift into the enclosed space. He heard the typical thud of bodies hitting the mat and a grunted exhale. No one was scheduled to be in here for the day and he gathered himself to yell at whatever birdbrained recruits thought they would get extra training outside of their allotted time.

He paused at the doorway and quickly realized that they weren't recruits. One of them was one of the civilian secretaries that worked on base, Beatrice, and the other was…you.

“Nice,” you said in a gentle voice. “That was a good control of your fall there. It gives you more leverage.”

You stood from the mat and offered your hand to Bea and helped her up, a grin on your face. “And you said you couldn’t take me down.”

“You’re going easy on me,” the other woman huffed. You huffed out a laugh, something easy but with an underlying sharpness. You easily knocked Bea to the ground and shrugged, offering her hand once more.

“I am.” Your inquisitive gaze glanced at the shadow looming in the doorway. “But tomorrow, I won’t go easy on you. This weekend is your chance to learn to defend yourself. Tomorrow, you’re going to be sore and tired and cranky as all hell, but you’re going to show up and you’re not going to give up until you can pin me. Why?”

Your focus returned to the woman before her. “When he comes for you, and he will, he won’t go easy on you either. So, I want you to kill them. Because it’s either you or them and I refuse to let it be you.”

Price explained to him later that you were a second lieutenant that offered to train Beatrice while she worked with the police to get a restraining order on her ex-husband. Simon requested a copy of your file from one of the women in the records office and every single woman in that room regarded him suspiciously as she gathered the files. You were a beloved figure for them, he learned. As one of the few women on base, you were fiercely protective of them, especially since they tended to be contracted positions rather than actual soldiers. But the real reason you were on the base wasn’t to help teach self-defense. No, he learned that one quickly too.

When he settled into a meeting to go over the SERE portion of training, the Ghost found himself seated across from you.

It was easy to underestimate you.

He never did.

When Task Force 141 approached the gates of Hernandez’s compound, they found the metal loosely swinging back and forth with the wind. Price led the charge into the compound, but he paused at the sight of the guards already dead on the ground. The land was cratered from grenades and gore splattered the earth. Silence greeted them as Gaz pushed open the door that was already shoved inwards. Bodies littered the long hallway, blood mixing in with the rich red velvet carpet that lined the ground. Soap stepped over a still twitching corpse to check to the right as Gaz took the left.

Simon paused in the doorway as he took in this place that housed the ghost of a man who once existed years ago, still pacing the cells in the basement.

“Someone got here before us,” Price told Laswell over the comms. The CIA agent hummed out a noncommittal sound as they moved upstairs. Simon’s skin itched under the mask. His hand trembled just slightly. The walls…he remembered these pale, yellow walls. He remembered the way they would bleed into one another as he was dragged from room to room so Roba could taunt him with the sunlight before he was forced back into his cell.

The stairs led to the office. The same office where he had a few teeth removed. His tongue slicked against the replacements that lined his jaw now. His mind ran on autopilot and his feet took him step by step by step closer to that room. That room where they played the screams of his teammates for hours at a time in the hopes that it would break him.

Price counted down on his fingers before forcing the office door open. They spilled into the room, rifles raised and fingers poised, but they found the culprit of the massacre that consumed the house. A blade hung loosely from your hands and you turned to face your lover. Fresh blood stained your face like a mask. Hernandez’s neck was gashed open and an ugly scar was carved on either side of his lips.

“It’s over,” you said. Your attention was directed on Simon. His hands stopped shaking. “It’s over.”

“The lieutenant was sent to retrieve more information regarding the compound before we sent the rest of the task force in,” Laswell explained. “But when the mission went south, she was forced to take direct action.”

“She defied orders to bring him in alive,” the officer spat. You studied the small water stain on the wooden table before you and drowned out the suits arguing around you. Laswell assured you that she had your back, but you couldn’t give less of a shit. You didn’t care what happened to you.

Roba’s organization was completely decimated. No one would be slithering out from under a rock to take over. Even if they did, you would hunt them down. No one could escape you.

“She did what she had to do to stay alive. In one hundred years, when this information is made public, what would you rather the people of England see? That you discharged a medaled officer because she defied an order simply so she could live? Or that you were more concerned that you weren’t able to question a drug lord?”

A scoff and then the scrape of a chair scooting backwards brought you back to focus. The suits stalked out of the room muttering to themselves, but Laswell was pleased with the result. You would be suspended from the field for a month for going rogue and would have to pass your recertification exams, but you were still a lieutenant for the 141.

“Nice work,” she said as you two walked down the hall towards your office.

“Why did you do it?” you finally asked the question you had wanted to voice the moment she showed you those photos. The blonde shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and let a sad smile cross her face.

“I know what it’s like to wake up hearing the screams of the person you love.” With that, she patted your shoulder and headed in the direction of Price’s office so she could tell him the good news. The captain was still seething at your disobedience and deceit, but Gaz assured you that he was more upset at the fact you could have died going off on your own like that.

You nudged the door to your office open and felt the hair on the back of your neck prickle. Before you could reach for your sidearm, a hand curled around your throat and threw you back against the wall. You clawed at the muscled wrist that kept you pinned and went for a well-aimed kick, but he merely avoided it with a side step.

“You know what they would have done if they captured you?” Simon snarled into your ear. His grip relaxed minutely against your skin, allowing air to slip back into your lungs, but his large thigh pinned your hips against the wall to stop your squirming.

“They didn’t,” you whispered. His hand moved up to grab your jaw and squeeze, forcing your eyes to meet his. The rough fabric of his mask brushed against your temple as he leaned in closer.

“They would have broken you. Brainwashed you. I wouldn’t have been able to save you. They would have killed you after ripping apart every last part of your mind.”

“You would have done the same fucking thing,” you snarled. Your words were muffled from the way he held your face, but you wouldn’t let his stupid fucking attitude shut you up.

“It’s different.”

“How? How is it so different? Because I’m not the Ghost? Because I’m not as big as you? Bec-”

He yanked you forward, your chest colliding with his, and released your jaw to slide his hand down the length of your arm until his gloved fingers slid against yours with a reverence seen only in a church.

“It’s different,” he reiterated. Indignation flared in your chest and you wrestled against his larger body but he slid his jean clad thigh between your legs, stopping your movement when it pressed just right against your cunt.

“Take the mask off,” you breathed. Your chest heaved with deep breaths, forcing yourself impossibly closer. He reached up and slid the fabric up, revealing the scars that Roba and his men inflicted all those years ago. Scars that you didn’t give two shits about. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and then he squeezed your cheeks, forcing your lips to part, and spat directly onto your tongue. 

You slicked your tongue across your teeth, mingling his spit with yours and then, without warning, you leaned up and bit down on his jaw. His sharp intake of breath sent a thrill of pleasure down your spine. Simon steadied you with his hand on your waist. His fingers curled against the plush skin of your ass and you craved the feel of him against your skin.

“I did it,” you said softly once you pulled away, revealing the slight imprint of your teeth at the hinge of his jaw. “Because the only mark I want to see on you is one I give you.”

His dark eyes studied your face and traced over every wrinkle, line, and blemish. The sincerity in your gaze. The way your pupils expanded.

His nimble fingers yanked the zipper of your pants down and you got the hint, quickly kicking them off along with your boots. He captured your lips in a searing kiss as you worked your hands under the soft cotton of his shirt and ran your fingers along the ridges of his abs. You only broke apart so you could yank his shirt over his head with yours following. He grabbed a handful of your ass and you groaned against his mouth as he kneaded the soft flesh and dragged you impossibly closer. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he easily took your weight. Simon carried you over to your desk and in one sweep of his hand, everything was scattered onto the ground.

Including your monitor.

“You get to explain that one,” you said dryly. His only response was to lay you back against the wood and grind his still-clothed cock against your panties. A hitched gasp escaped you and he bent down, pressing his lips against the swell of your breasts as his hand reached behind you to unclasp your bra. Simon bit down on the top of your right breast and sucked, leaving a dark mark of his own. Your hands flew to his shoulders and you dug your nails into his skin. He grunted as you dragged your hands down, but he continued lining your skin with hickies.

When Simon finally stopped his assault on your tits and stood up straight, you took in the sight of the scarred Adonis before you. He was so beautiful, even if he didn’t believe it. Your fingers traced the scars that adorned his chest and he captured your hand in his, raising it to his lips and placing a delicate kiss against your wrist. Your eyes fluttered shut at the intimate action, as if seeing it would ruin the moment.

“It’s different,” he explained as he ground his bulge against you. “Because you’re mine. And I won’t ever let them take what’s mine from me again.”

Smooth plastic slid over your wrist and your eyes snapped open just in time to see him secure zip tie handcuffs around one of your wrists. He snatched the other before you could fight him and bound your hands together, leaving you spread out on your desk in only your underwear.

“And clearly you need to learn that lesson,” he rasped. The cold metal of his pocket knife slid against your ribs and you felt the fabric of your underwear give before he slit the straps of your bra and yanked it off. You squirmed under his gaze, suddenly self-conscious about being so exposed like this. Did he lock the door? What if someone came in?

Simon palmed himself through his jeans before he undid his belt buckle and slid it out of its loops. He considered it for a moment and then folded it up and laid it on the desk next to you. A whine escaped you and you pressed your thighs together at the thought of him using it. He chuckled, one hand stroking your cheek and the other pushing his jeans and boxers down.

“Don’t worry, love. I always treat my things well.”

The scent of him invaded your senses as he shoved his mask between your parted lips, forcing you to taste the sweat and smoke that clung to the fabric. He grabbed your ankles and settled himself between your legs, hooking each of your legs around his waist. Simon grasped his thick, solid cock and rubbed it against your cunt. Fuck, normally he ate you out or fingered you open before he did this. There was no way you would be able to fit hi-

Your eyes rolled back as he slid into you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass as he bottomed out in one stroke. A muffled scream escaped you as his cock speared you open, but you were thrown more by the sudden pleasure than any pain. Had he fucked you so much that you were carved out for him?

“Feel that?” His breath washed over your face as he pressed his weight against you, grinding himself deeper than you thought he could possibly go. “You’re made to fit me.”

You tried to move your bound hands down to touch your clit but he smacked your cheek and yanked your hands above your head. Simon pressed his palm against your cheek as leverage while he pulled out of your aching cunt and then bullied himself back in. You let out a desperate whimper and he clicked his tongue.

“No complaints,” he chastised. “You wanted this, right? That’s why you’re so insubordinate. So irritating. So fucking stupid. But you’re my stupid girl, ain’t that right?”

Your head swam from pleasure and tears dripped down your cheeks as he began to rail you. Holy shit, the two of you had done kinky stuff but this was another level. Your pussy clenched around him and he chuckled low in his throat.

“You like that, huh? Being my little cocksleeve. Being my pocket pussy. Took on a whole fucking cartel but at the end of the day, you’re just a mindless little slut.”

A whine escaped you and you tried to babble something through the soaked fabric of his mask, but you were just consumed by Simon. You should be ashamed right now, being reduced to this mewling, quivering little fleshlight. But your skin burned with want as he grabbed your hips and just started pounding into you. Anyone walking by could hear what was going on and know. You strained against the zip ties to no avail. None of your strength or smarts were on your side right now.

“If they caught you, they’d break this pretty little mind of mine,” Simon snarled. He ripped his mask out of your mouth and forced three fingers into your drooling mouth. Once sufficiently coated, he silenced you with the gag once again and reached down to rub harshly at your clit.

“You understand me, woman? You’re. Mine.” Each word was punctuated with a harsh thrust and a slap to your thigh. Pleasure shot through you at each strike and you clenched around him. He chuckled and pulled out of you before grabbing your hips and easily flipping you onto your stomach. Simon wrapped his hand around your throat and yanked you back so your back met his chest.

And then he just started pounding into you again.

Drool pooled at the corners of your lips and spilled over the edges of the makeshift gag. You slumped against his hold and accepted your fate as his little cockwhore. Because holy shit, he was hitting that little spot in your cunt that made your vision blur and your mind turn to mush. His balls slapped against your clit as he rammed into you and you could feel yourself starting to fall apart at the seams.

“Should keep you like this forever,” he breathed against the soft skin of your neck as he mercilessly fucked you. “Naked and chained to my desk so I can use you anytime I want.” His fingers came down to rub circles against your clit and you choked out a gasp. His other hand curled around your throat and he added just enough pressure to make your lungs burn and that tidal wave of pleasure finally crashed over you.

The second he felt your cunt pulse around him, Simon buried his cock as deep as he could and spilled into you. He bent down and captured the skin of your shoulder in his teeth, leaving an imprint behind but just shy of drawing blood. You were too fucked out to think of the pain. Your hands twitched uselessly in front of you as he rubbed you through the aftershocks of your orgasm and then kept going until you were whining from the overstimulation and pulling away from him the best you could. He stopped his torture on your sensitive nub, but his hands continued roaming along your body.

What a fucking sight you must be. Fucked hard, spread out on your desk with your tits pressed against the rough wood, sweaty, cum-filled, and crying from the pleasure. The mental image made you clench again and the wraith behind you let out a grunt. You waited for him to start fucking himself dry into your sensitive little cunt, but instead he inhaled deeply and stilled your squirming. His hand stroked down the length of your spine and as he slid his cock out of your folds, he placed a delicate kiss to the base of your spine. You pushed his mask out of your mouth and smacked your lips in an attempt to wet your mouth.

“Done being mad at me?” you asked, voice rough from your muffled screams. His lips met a scar that marred your shoulder and he nestled his face against your neck. He nipped at your earlobe and then soothed the sting with his tongue before nosing against the bite mark he left on your shoulder.

“Was never mad at you, love.” The snick of his pocket knife opening was your cue to loosen your hands so he could cut the zip ties off with less risk of hurting you. His thumbs ran over the depressions they had made into your wrists and he brought your hands up to worship your wrists, your palms, your fingers with delicate kisses. You started to sit up and he immediately moved to steady you and pull your body against his chest. Tilting your chin up, you met his gaze and found nothing but devotion present in those dark eyes.

“If you ever.” His hand smacked against your ass and you jolted but he was already kneading the flesh and soothing the sting. “Up and leave to go on a suicide mission again, I will find you, drag you back here, and kill you myself.”

“I had to, Si,” you murmured, your forehead pressing against his bicep. One of your hands traced the nasty scar below his ribs from that fucking hook Roba had in the cells.

“I know. Doesn’t mean I like it.” His lips met your temple. “I’d do the same.”

“You have,” you reminded him. He huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“‘S not a joke, love.”

“Never was, Si.”

He curled his massive body around you and tucked your head into the crook of his neck. In a moment, the two of you would get dressed and walk back to his room on base. You would wash each other in the tiny shower with the lukewarm water and you would discuss the Man City score and if England had a chance to get the cup and what color curtains you would put in the kitchen.

But right now, you savored the puff of every breath he exhaled against your skin. It was a reminder that, despite Roba’s best attempts, despite his father’s cruelty, Simon Riley was still here, living and breathing, and you would worship him for every moment you had. He extracted himself from the cocoon of safety he had encased you in and bent down to rifle through his jeans for something. A chill swept across your skin and he noticed instantly, his eyes darting around the room for anything to cover you with. You had a throw blanket tossed in the corner of your office for when it got cold and he retrieved it. As Simon wrapped the soft fabric around you, one of his hands stroked along the calluses of the fingers on your left hand and you felt the weight of his devotion settle across your skin.

“Yes,” you breathed into the silence of the night. Simon let his lips press and linger against your forehead as you looked at the simple ring that now adorned your skin.

You took on the worst parts of him without fear. You faced down what tried to destroy him and, in turn, destroyed it. The Ghost didn’t believe in attachments.

Simon Riley would marry you tomorrow if he could.

[iselenris]

i just read truth teller because of your post and it was AMAZING. What do you think makes a good Klonnie fic? Any more klonnie fic recs?

not me being impactful??😭😭

LMAO

so happy you enjoyed! that fic needs all the love and more.

The parameters for a good fic (Klonnie or otherwise) within the realm of fan fictions to me, is keeping in mind the characters themselves, they’re history, they’re motivations, the little quirks that make them themselves and expanding on it.

Often times especially with canon divergences or au’s in general, the only similarity to the original material is the name and physicality. It can be difficult to find authors who write characters in a way that serves the characters themselves and the authors own vision for their story.

For Klonnie, specifically I often find that Bonnie in particular isn’t written in line, like the things she’ll say dont fall in line with her character or her interactions with Klaus or any other character doesn’t make sense. Often with fics involving a mistreated/unpopular character, they’re treated as a self-insert rather than written accurately.

The best fanfics to me are the ones where i can literally hear/see the character doing/saying whatever in my head.

I can literally see Bonnie steeling herself against Bob, I can see her acting awkwardly to waking up in bed to Klaus, I can see her showing Marcel in excruciating detail why he doesn’t want to fuck with her

I can see Caroline holding Bonnie tight and hear her telling Bon how fucked it was for Elena to take precedence for so long

I can see Klaus being conflicted over Marcel and Bonnie’s initial meeting, I can see his face when he realises he doesn’t want friendship with Bonnie, I can hear him saying ‘why would i want to make life easier for anyone not named Bonnie Bennett’

Szanje is a prolific klonnie writer, im currently rereading the edge of night

I highly recommend! its a canon divergence from s7/3 onwards and it eats like it eats bad!

If u love the idea of Bonnie in Nola, then baybee… get into it

the summoned witch by the same author is also really good. its not as klonnie heavy but erm.. excellent food if i say so myself

sorry for this being so long😭😭

(feel free to hmu to talk all things bonnie i promise im kind!)

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 2

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to ��rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; swearing, a LOT of canon archon quest yappery (sorry)

note ; part two baybee!! in comparison to the ao3 version of this, i’ve decided to merge the chapters two by two to make them seem longer and since so far, i’ve only written five- next one might take a little longer to come out. or maybe i’ll just post chapter 5 stand-alone, who knows

also i’ve got a taglist now!

previous | next | masterlist

your arrival in liyue harbor goes less than stellar.

the port is packed full of people who are either confused or outraged at the line of millelith soldiers who refuse to let anyone through. you end up waiting in a line for an annoying amount of time, up until you’re finally attended to by a soldier.

“i’m sorry but liyue harbor is not accepting in any tourists, we are trying to keep our… current situation under control as best we can while investigations are still in order, i hope you can understand.” the millelith states formally.

“oh, well err- i’m no tourist, i was born in liyue harbor! my parents migrated from overseas many years ago and i was just on a leisurely trip to snezhnaya, haha…” you lie through your teeth.

the mere mention of snezhnaya sets off the most minute reaction in the millelith solider, hence why you’re under a fake identity to begin with. you politely hand him a folder with forged documents so gracefully provided to you by your employers and pray to your lucky stars- and, well, tsaritsa, that it’s good enough for him to let you pass.

the soldier remains neutral for a few seconds as he eyes through the paper.

“very well. but please behave in an orderly fashion inside the city, as i said the trail on the ahem- incident is still fresh. welcome home.”

it takes a lot out of you not to snort at the welcome.

the poor naïve man truly wasn’t lying- the inside of the harbor was just as tumultuous as the outside. people in the streets gather in small groups and anxiously whisper their worries to each other. but most of all, they eye you suspiciously like you were the one to stab a sword through rex lapis with the entire harbor watching. you’d say they’re within reason to do so, losing their protector god and all.

you wouldn’t call yourself the most devoted of subjects but you’d also hate to imagine a snezhnaya without the tsaritsa so… benevolently

watching over it. challenging the heavenly principles like she has would certainly cause a catastrophic bite in the ass for the nation if she were to perish. maybe you could be a devoted subject enough to prevent that from happening.

drowning in a whirlpool of your own thoughts, you don’t even realize you’re already standing in front of the northland bank branch of liyue harbor. you try to walk inside as discreetly as possible, so as to not raise any suspicion toward you from the millelith or civilians and to not disturb the workers inside the bank.

unfortunately your efforts are in vain, because you’re recognized immediately.

“ah, sergeant y/n! we were expecting that you would arrive soon. please, allow me to take care of your luggage.” calls out the receptionist, ekaterina.

not only does she practically announce your arrival, she does it while the very bane of your existence is present in the main hall of the bank, formerly distracted as he spoke to a blonde woman in the strangest garments you’ve ever seen and a uh… floating baby?

childe’s ears, no- his entire body, almost instinctively perk up at the mention of your name and he abruptly stops his sentence midway through to look over to the entrance, to you.

“y/n? what in the name of the tsaritsa are you doing here?” he inquires, eyebrows furrowed with the purest of confusions. that is until he remembers the traveler and paimon are still present and most definitely more perpexled than he is.

so he decides to save face before anything else.

“missed me too much?” childe adds cockily.

your eyes almost roll on their own accord. “whatever you’d like to tell yourself. unfortunately, they decided to station me here to help… stabilize the situation, surely that has nothing to do with you screwing up?”

he scoffs. “there’s been nothing to screw up. in fact, the situation is plentiful under control and we’ve already devised a plan to solve it. your intrusion is unneede-”

“wh- you big liar! we literally met after you kicked a bunch of millelith butt in broad daylight! we’ve been stumbling up and down these past few days just to clear our names.” the floating baby speaks up.

you cock your head to the side at the revelation with curiosity and just a smidgen of smugness.

“and you! don’t think just because paimon likes making fun of childe doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. we heard what the lady called you, you’re fatui just like mr. pants-on-fire over here. just who are you anyway?!” the floating baby glides over to you with an accusatory finger pointed and a suspicious squint to her eyes.

the blonde woman, who’s been radio silent this entire time, merely puts a hand on the floating one’s shoulder to pull her back, though she also looks wary of you.

childe laughs at the display and holds out a formal hand as to introduce you. “traveler, paimon, this is y/n, my.. coworker as you can obviously tell. don’t worry though, they’re not a bad guy or kind of a bad guy like me, you have nothing to worry about. they’re actually an amazingly talented battle medic and head nurse of the fatui, that’s why they carry the sergeant title.”

you’re taken aback for a brief moment at the unexpected praise. you were waiting for just a formal introduction of your position in the fatui, or even one that contained a little snarky comment about your attitude towards him. but no, he only complimented your talents. it’s almost a little too courtly too.

“y/n, this is the traveler and paimon. these two not from around here but they unfortunately managed to land right in the bullseye of the incident and are being considered murder suspects. i’m merely helping them clear their names.”

ah, there’s the kicker. he’s “helping” those two.

you know childe well enough to comprehend that he wouldn’t just help some strangely dressed bystanders if he didn’t think he could snake his way into benefit, in this case most likely the geo gnosis. that’s why he’s trying to make somewhat of a good image for himself and those associated. conniving bastard.

then again, takes one to know one.

“so it’s true then, rex lapis is dead.” you hum. “but why has the millelith jumped to the conclusion that it was a murder so quickly? what exactly happened in the rite of descension?”

“weeell, the ceremony was starting just fine and dandy when suddenly the sky got unusually dark and then- bam! thunder strikes and this huge amber dragon drops dead from the sky.” paimon explains dramatically before shivering.

“eugh… really gave paimon the heebie-jeebies… then, the tianquan went over to examine the body and immediately announced it was a murder.”

“interesting.. did the dragon seem to have any visible injuries? any slashes or punctures? weapons sticking out of his body?”

“it’s tricky to say, as i was just relaying onto the traveler before you arrived, the qixing have long since confiscated the exuvia and are refusing to let anyone see it.” childe joins in, looking down pensively with a hand on his chin.

“it feels too early to draw any conclusions but paimon can confidently say it was not us and our names are squeaky clean! either way, we should get going- we’ve done so much walking up mountains since we got here and it’s making paimon famished.”

“see, you keep saying that but you still float, paimon-“ you hear the traveler say as the pair turns to leave.

“oh shush, you!!”

the air between the remaining two of you is thick with awkwardness. you decide to be one to break it once the traveler and paimon are well away from earshot.

“so, how will your charitable little side quest tie into getting the gnosis?”

“hah, you’ve barely arrived and you’re looking so far ahead?”

“aren’t you? in fact, didn’t you say you’d already ‘devised plan to solve it’ and that my presence was ‘unneeded’?” you question, accentuating the quotings in your sentence with a less than half-assed impression of childe’s own pesky tone at the time.

“jeez, i do not sound like that-“

“not the point-“

“yes yes, whatever… for the record i do already have a plan.” he admits. “unfortunately for you, doc, it is a bit airtight and therefore- your interference is unneeded.”

“y’know what, you’re right. if someone like you is describing their plans as airtight then maybe it’s best if i stay out of its splash zone.” you bite back and childe scoffs.

“who even ordered you be sent here?”

the malicious grin grows on your face with haste.

“the jester.”

“wha-?! argh, that old man…”

—

“ekaterina?”

“yes- how may i help you, sergeant?”

“what would be your recommendations for restaurants ‘round here?”

evening was nearing and you could feel the emptiness eating at your stomach from the inside. the few days that had passed of your stay in liyue were remarkably unremarkable. half of your time was spent cooped up in northland bank with diplomatic or medical paperwork while the other half was you doing whatever discreet investigation inside the city that you could, up to little avail.

childe was moving forward with his scheming while effectively keeping you completely in the dark from it- well not completely, as he wasn’t the only stubborn one out of the two of you. some intel about his flawless, artful plan had “slipped out” (meaning you pried it out of ekaterina) and come to your knowledge- for example, today he’d be going out to meet with the traveler and paimon for another meeting with one of his… contacts, he called it. you just didn’t know where.

luckily your source of discovering that had just walked through the door.

“welcome, friend of childe! and congratulations on the first day of your illustrious career with the fatui.” ekaterina greets formally and you’re too late to stop yourself from visibly cringing.

“i have no intention of joining the fatui.” the traveler says curtly.

“you sound remarkably sure of yourself… remember, we are mere mortals- our ideas are fluid like water. only the tsaritsa truly has a will as solid as permafrost.”

you huff at the receptionist’s straightforwardness.

“i’m sure we can maintain.. beneficial connections without anyone signing away their names. why don’t we keep to the matter of this visit?” with a slightly forced business smile, you try to ease the traveler’s stone-like expression. thought, if you were in her shoes you believe you’d react much the same.

and you would sure as hell never recommend for someone to join the fatui.

“hm, yes, back to the matter at hand- childe tells me that he has upheld his end of your agreement.”

“what agreement? ..oh, the thing about him helping us find a guy?” paimon inquires.

“correct. childe promised he would find someone to break the stalemate. and harbingers do not break their promises lightly.”

this time you succeed in internalizing your reaction to the comment- from your personal experience, childe did not exactly fit that concept. but there was no time for dwelling on that now.

“ah, where is that guy anyway?”

“childe is currently at liuli pavilion.”

bingo.

“liuli pavilion?” you ask.

“oh, oh! paimon knows this one!” paimon exclaims, proceeding to give an insight of the rival cooking styles of liyue and you almost admire how dedicated she is to liking food so… academically. you’re half zoning out at their conversation when your stomach traitorously growls for all ears to hear.

“hey, y/n, why don’t you join us? you’re a friend of childe’s too afterall!” the floating guide propositions naively.

“ah err… i-i wouldn’t describe it like that, plus, i wasn’t invited to this meeting. i’d hate to intrude.” you try to wave it off. while this could be your current best chance at receiving more context on their investigation, you’d rather not do it where childe would catch onto you.

“well it won’t hurt to ask him! c’mon, at least walk with us, you’ll have to find a place to eat anyway.” paimon drags you by the sleeve out of northland bank, along with the traveler, with unexpected strength in her grasp.

the streets are bustling with people, walking back and forth as they also step out to guarantee themselves some dinner. the crowd covers the sight of liuli pavilion’s entrance and it’s not until you’ve actually arrived that childe sees you.

he looks no less than befuddled.

“aha, y-you’ve made it…” he laughs awkwardly, clearly not expecting the current situation to ever occur. “care to explain the plus one?”

“they’re just that! they were also looking for a place to eat so we invited them to join us.” paimon contextualizes, oblivious to the silent glare battle taking place between the two of you.

“w-well anyhow-“ childe effectively retreats from the as promised, i’ve found someone who can help you. someone who can solve the mystery of why the liyue qixing would hide the geo archon’s vessel.”

“so.. where is he? in liuli pavilion?”

“he certainly is. come, i’ll… introduce you.” he intends to sound cheerful but the last part of his sentence comes out the smidgen most strained as his eyes flicker to you momentarily.

“i took the liberty of setting up a business dinner, as per liyue custom.”

the traveler and paimon walk ahead and get distracted with the warm welcome of the restaurant’s staff while you and childe try not to jump to an argument then and there.

“trust me, i resisted this impromptu invite as much as i could.” you mutter, preferring to look at the surroundings rather than the harbinger beside you.

“good, because you won’t be joining anyway.” he replies coldly as he starts walking inside ahead of you.

“at least let me see the damn restaurant first, maybe i won’t join your table but that doesn’t mean i won’t eat there.”

“how will i know you’re not listening in on our busine-“

“childe? y/n? c’mon, let’s get to our table!” paimon calls out from further into the pavilion.

as you round to the reserved table, you see a brown-haired man in refined amber clothing seated at the far end of it, tea in hand. somehow you think you’ve seen him before but only out in the streets, perhaps at third-round knockout listening to the storyteller at the front tables.

“yes yes, i’m here.” childe steps up, half-sheepish at his late arrival. “unfortunately, y/n won’t be joining us as they have other matters to attend to.” he says like you’re not standing right beside him.

“really? but y/n didn’t say anything, plus, they seemed like they were awfully hungry-“

“forgive the intrusion but, childe, might this be the same y/n you’ve mentioned before?”

the man at the table joins in and childe looks like he’s promptly died on the spot. you, however, look elated at the revelation.

so elated that you don’t see the flush of red that plagues childe’s face and ears.

“why yes, i might just be.” the grin on your face seems only friendly to the other three and only the harbinger feels it’s real sting of triumph.

“then, please, let us all eat together.”

you all waste no more time to do so, childe sits on the man’s right, you sit beside him while the traveler and paimon mirror you on the other side- well, paimon at least floats on top of the chair.

“allow me to introduce mr. zhongli, consultant to an organization known as wansheng… and a trusted associate of the fatui.”

“wansheng?” the traveler asks.

“indeed.” the redhead answers. “wansheng’s line of work can be… sensitive at times. let’s just say they understand when discretion is needed. and we, the fatui, have always been glad to do business with friends who walk in the shadows.”

“w-walk in the shadows..?” paimon shivers.

“it is an honor to meet you. i have heard tell of you from mondstat.” zhongli turns to you. “you as well, doctor, i have been meaning to arrange for us to meet ever since hearing word of you from childe.”

you’re pleasantly surprised by him calling you doctor for a moment, as no one has ever really referred to you in such a respectful manner. sure, childe and others have called you “doc” playfully but never fully doctor.

and then you remember who the title is usually reserved for.

“discretion… shadows… ah! is wansheng some kind of business involving… ‘dealing’ with people?” paimon panics.

“indeed. it is as you have guessed.”

“ahh!!” she screams.

“don’t worry, wansheng is a funeral parlor.” you assure her amusedly and paimon’s fear shifts to confusion.

zhongli cluelessly nods in affirmation. “the wansheng funeral parlor organizes burials. we ensure that those who pass on do so in peace.”

“e-eh?”

you hear childe laugh warmly from beside you, the warmest you’ve heard from him in years. “did you think he was some sort of hired killer? the fatui calls many such people friends, but the wansheng funeral parlor does not dabble in such business… well, ostensibly.”

“ostensibly?” you question.

“well, they are still- ah, i shouldn’t say too much. in any case, i brought you to meet mr. zhongli because…”

“because i can bring you to see rex lapis’ vessel.” the consultant follows up plainly.

“what?!” exclaims paimon.

“ha, don’t be so surprised. sure, the geo archon’s body has been squirreled away by order of the tianquan ningguang… but first, let’s hear what mr. zhongli has to say, shall we?”

how childe managed to hide such a supposed fatui associate, an insanely useful one at that, from you with all the snooping around you’d been doing is beyond your mortal comprehension. what baffles you even more is his unwavering determination to keep you as far away from the entire operation as possible, going against the order of your involvement that came directly from not only dottore, the very second fatui harbinger, but also the director of all of the fatui himself.

unfortunately you’ll still need to wait until zhongli preaches his tale before you get to strangle childe where he stands.

“rex lapis may be the prime of adepti, but he is ultimately an adeptus. many adepti have left us over the millennia- this is the inexorable trend.”

zhongli turns to the traveler. “the times have changed- you must have felt it too when you were at jueyun karst.” with the travelers confirmation, he continues. “as you have seen, the time of adepti is ending, and the time of mankind is slowly dawning.”

the dinner proceeds with talks of the rite of passing and as the traveler and zhongli become more well acquainted, they all agree to leave liuli pavilion and further discuss their arrangements.

“you can go if you want to, don’t worry about me. i might just have a few more drinks…” childe dismisses the two travelers.

“and me also. somebody needs to teach a certain other someone how to use chopsticks if we’re to stay in liyue for a good while.” you imply half-jokingly, grateful that the two get on their way quick so you can give the redhead beside you an exclusive earful.

as you feel your cheeks start to warm with the burn of the alcohol, you down decisively the last one of your drinks for the night and slam the cup on the table with vigor.

“am i some sort of joke to you?”

childe almost chokes on his own beverage at the suddenness. “e-excuse me?”

“actually no, let me rephrase that- do you think it’s funny to play around with the job i’ve been assigned here and purposefully leave me to wander around streets i don’t know like a bumbling idiot while you keep contacts like mr.fucking-rex-lapis-historian under your belt?” you practically bark.

“y/n, please, i think you might’ve drank too mu-“

“answer the question or so help me celestia, i will leave this restaurant with my hands as red as that stupid scarf of yours.”

the harbinger huffs. “alright alright! no i don’t think it’s funny to do… all of what you said. but i don’t think that’s fair- this is my mission and it’s been running smoothly since before you even got here. at least i thought it was until they decided to send more manpower with zero forewarning, do you know how insulting that is?”

“how is it insulting to have backup in case something goes wrong? that’s all i’m here for- to help, and ideally help with the investigation. but i can’t do that if i don’t know where the hell jueyun karst is, much less where else to go to look for clues.”

childe only sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips. “you’re right… i shouldn’t alienate you from what’s your assignment too. but let me keep up with my plan for now and if something goes awry, i’ll call you. i’ll fill you in on it tomorrow morning.”

you nod firmly- easier than you thought it’d be.

“now will you please teach me how to use these damned sticks?”

taglist ; @kentply

[natelawtism]

"Authentic" | an oc x canon fic

GUESS WHO WROTE ROWNATE FANFIC BAYBEE!! Forgive any errors or mischaracterization.... It's midnight

This fic includes JB! It's a conversation between JB and Nate about Rowan. JB decides to spend the day with Nate because she doesn't get all the fuss Rowan is making over him

“Ugh. I still don't get it!”

“Get what?” Nate raised an eyebrow, giving JB a judgemental look.

The girl shrugged, “What Rowan sees in you.”

“What??” the boy's eyes widened, surprised at how casually JB spoke.

“I mean, I tried to ask him! But he wouldn't tell me. Said something about ‘not wanting to put you on my radar',” she put up air quotes while she spoke, “so I was like, whatever, I'll find out myself. But even after spending the day with you I still don't get it!”

“I'm sure you don't,” Nate rolled his eyes, “because unlike you: Rowan is nice.”

“Oh?” JB’s eyebrows raised, “do tell. I mean, I'm the nicest and hottest girl on campus.” She spoke with her usual shit-eating grin and leaned on her palm for dramatic effect, knowing she wasn't very nice at all.

“Yeah. He isn't nice to be performative or anything, he just is.” The words came to Nate pretty easily, though he had to pause to collect his thoughts. “He's kind to people without a second thought and actually cares about what I have to say. Unlike someone.” He makes a point to indicate that he was targeting JB.

“What's the fun in that?” JB was confused hearing Nate even though she had experienced these things before, “Not gonna lie, I assumed he did it with y'know… ulterior motives.”

“That's the thing. He does it like it's second nature.” Nate’s expression began to morph into something almost fond. More introspective than his earlier statements, though you could only notice it if you were really looking. “He always considers people and tries to do small acts, even when it takes out of his day. He always tries to talk to me. He's not judgy. It's like he doesn't even think about it.”

“Doesn't that just make him a try-hard?”

“I guess. But he’s trying. He's always trying, no matter what it comes to. It's hard to find someone who will listen to you like that. He ends up absorbing weird knowledge about people, just because he listens.”

“I think he might just do that because he wants to get into your pants.” JB laughed at her own joke.

Nate, however, did not find that as funny. His expression immediately broke back into his usual anger. He knew he shouldn't be surprised at the girl’s comments, but it startled him out of whatever place his mind drifted to.

“That kind of stuff is inappropriate!”

“You bet it is-” she changed the topic quickly- “So, how do you know he's not?”

“I guess I don't know for sure, but he doesn't feel like the type to. He's really… genuine. Trust me, I would've been able to see if he was just looking for something like..” Nate seemed to not want to get the words out, “like that.”

“I guess with all the time he spends hanging off of you it'd be easy to tell.” JB nodded, beginning to reach her own conclusions. Nate sure had a lot to say on this boy.

“Even if you can't be, I can say that he's very authentic. I think everyone needs more authenticity.”

“I can be authentic!” The girl argued.

The boy looked at her skeptically, “I doubt it.”

“What's so authentic about him anyway?” In truth, JB knew Rowan enough to know that was true. She just wanted to see how much she could get Nate talking about him, as this day was already past boring.

“Almost everything he does. The way he tries, his love for things, how he expresses things. He's someone who can put his whole heart into a task.” Like it was magic, Nate was back into that far-off place. JB wasn’t sure exactly where his mind was, but she knew wherever it was had a lot of Rowan in it. “Even when he's performing, it still feels like him. Just in a different way.”

JB raised her eyebrows, grinning slyly “You really like him, huh?”

Nate squinted at her, his eyebrows down turned “Of course I do. It's natural to, you know, enjoy being around your friend and notice things about them.”

She scoffed, a bit surprised he would say that, but also not surprised that Nate Lawson isn't confronting his very obvious feelings. “Yeah… your ‘friend’. Sure, bud.”

[mystarsacastle]

Here's some things I couldn't stand about Aang from avatar (but it's not a hate post)

First let's start with the series. Aang was spoiled as a child and had someone like Monk Gyatso who saw him as a son. In return, Aang abandoned all his airbesties because he couldn't get what he wanted. This is a display of how selfish he is. Another scene that makes me iffy about Aang is how he never apologized to Toph when he blamed her for Appa, or how he blamed her at all. I don't have much to say about that directly, but I think it says a lot about how he would be as an adult.

Second, Aang is extremely manipulative. I don't know why nobody ever points out the clear evidence that Aangs arrows are fake and that he's not even the avatar???? Not to mention how the rest of team avatar helped him get away with this so they would all be worshipped, but this isn't about them. Also he's a murderer. There are multiple scenes or comic strips where aang forgot to apply his arrows, and it's canon that the only reason he actually left the air temple was after he was cast out for faking his air bending mastery.

Now I'll go more into adult Aang, specifically how he treated his family. He never focussed on his children except for Tenzin, and even then he left most of the actual raising up to Katara. It's also implied that he was physically abusive because of that flashback in tlok where he punched Bumi in the face when he was baybee. Additionally, how he simply hated Kya for being a girl because a misogynist, and refused to speak to her after she came out as a lesbian.

And don't even get me started on his MARRIAGE, and how he never even apologized for forcing Katara to marry him and then raise their children alone. It's also implied that he cheated on her with every member from team avatar (including Suki!), Ozai, Azula, Ty Lee, Mai, Xin Fu, Bataar Sr., On Ji, Iroh, Haru, Jet, Ursa, Hama, Smellerbee, Longshot, Teo, Matthew Cuthbert, and Appa. And momo. And then how he tried to turn her own brother against her and how he's also Lin, Su, AND Izumi's father, and a deadbeat.

And the most infuriating part to me is how he treated Ozai, but that would need its own post.

Here's a few more negatives about him that I don't feel like writing more paragraphs for:

-he was never actually stuck in an ice burg, but instead spent his time killing any actual avatar alive within those 100 years

-bald

-he's transphobic towards all of tenzin's children

-he killed appa and kya (katara and sokka's mom and one of the real avatars) and mai and sokka and all of the kyoshi warriors

[emberunderscore]

FableSMP MTG AU

its master list time baybee i gotta have organization for these typsa shittt. anyway we're saying player characters are planeswalkers and im telling you how i think they got they sparks and what mana they'd use (+some gods at the end)

my source is the magic the gathering wiki and this is the page im using for the colours (and some stuff sherb said bc. they know more than me)

Icarus

Spark: Probably got theirs the first time they should've died (alternatively quixis is weird with the rest of the multiverse and the bleeding eye is their spark awakening) Mana: Black (/Red) Specifically Icarus without their bleeding eye, black mana stands for self concern and ambition as well as death. I think Icarus would be really drawn to necromancy, because of Haley stuff but also because something about dying multiple times making you drawn to having control over death itself. I think Fable's Icarus is black aligned but i don't think i can say they're not a little red at least

Rae

Spark: Rae's maybe was awoken sometime while living with fable since that was a traumatic time for him, that or he probably witnessed his brother die and both brothers got sparks at the same time? (something something soul bond idk). Mana: Blue/White Ok so. Rae is blue coded as a character. hes just blue. and blue mana is like curiosity and science which is very rae coded. but also consider white mana, which is organization and can be used for healing and protection and i think if Rae could choose he'd pick that to help people.

Athena

Spark: Athena's honestly could've awoken during ominous bane (looking at the training ep specifically) and i think they either wouldn't have used it at all or they'd have accidentally just fucked off (thinking about icarus having the ability to follow them at that point thinking about corrupt icarus having the power to track them through planes). Mana: Red So, fire and destruction. Duh. but red's big thing is like emotion which i think is very fitting

Arisanna

Spark: Ari's defo awoke when the aether fell . imagine panic of her waking up in the overworld but she's in a whole ass different world. Mana: Blue (/Black) I think blue mana cause of all the time in the aether and thats like . literally the dimension of knowledge. i think she might be pretty curious yknow. also black mana for vexed ari bc self serving nature of it

Fenris

Spark: There could probably be a lot, either sometime when he was a child or maybe when Vikesh died? Mana: Red/White (/Green) He's got that emotion and drive in them, seeking peace and to protect, green for his drive for his family

Centross

Spark: errm maybe when his cult leader parents tried to sacrifice him to that goddess. just a suggestion tho Mana: Oh boy. Oh centross could go so many ways. This man has so much character development and his ideals change so much so in chronilogical order: Black (S1, making a deal for power, "power through oppotunity" is black's mantra), White/Red (Violet Reaper moment, white is structure and red is emotion), Red (Redemtion Arc), and back to White (up to the end, into godhood, still structure and order, but for a better cause now)

Ocie

Spark: Probably when she lost her partners in the resets Mana: Red/Green Red is like emotion and impulsiveness and maybe its just every adhd coded character is red mana coded but if that is the case then so be it. Yeah ironically i think ocie is very red coded (ironic cause fire), and green is there for family

Momboo

Spark: Maybe around the first time she made herself forget Mana: Green Its like plants, get it? Also very like family and patience

Jamie/Bruin

Spark: When they were locked in the basement, spark awakens and they escape Mana: Green Again, plants and family

Easton

Spark: I don't know a lot about easton's lore . but i remember reading what i think was a canon fic about their dead bio parents?? I might be making this up/it might've been fanfic. I don't remember. Anyway if it is canon probably something like that Mana: Black/Green Member of nature fam being not green? not possible, they got that vibe you know

Ulysses

Spark: Oh fuck im not fully caught up on my ulysses lore chat im not gonna lie to you . i dont know his full backstory im so sorry. anway id probably say his spark ignited when he got mauled by leviathan Mana: Blue (/Green) Scientist man, also waber. He seekin that knowledge for sure. Green for the family aspect, he cares so much about percy

Ven

Spark: Maybe when his fiance died? Or when his memories got yoinked Mana: Green, some aspect of Black, Blue Cares a lot about Feng, family aspect, some aspect of self serving nature, seeking the knowledge of his own memories among other things im sure

Major Gods

okay so the major gods COULD be planeswalkers but they also dont really have like . time for the sparks to awaken . consider, they've always been able to just do that. k with that we're just doing mana for the major gods

Fable: Black/White So black is very self serving and "power through oppotunity" and Fable's whole thing is trying to gain power and white is very organization and "peace through structure" and from the magic wiki it says White's ultimate goal is peace—a world where there is no unnecessary suffering; a world where life is as good as it can be for each individual and if eliminating suffering isn't one of Fable's biggest goals we might be watching different shows

Enderian: Blue/Black Something something goddess of the Mind something something seeking knowledge. Yeah she's gotta be blue. and also again, self serving nature (maybe she could be green, maybe towards the end of her life she changed just enough)

Alerion: Blue/Green/White Blue again being knowledge and Alerion's realm being a whole ass library of knowledge, green for the family aspect and the compliance with nature and white for order and peace (notably not at the expence of the natural cycle of life)

Netherum: Red/Green So I'd say the green aspects came after Soul, thinking about Netherum being the only Red aligned major god (though their probably could be some arguments towards Fable for that too). Red is volatile and emotion and firey passion all the things I think scream Netherum and Green of course is family which I think Soul helped him learn to appreciate, I also think he has an appreciation for the nature of the Nether and how that all works especially with him being a hybrid of all their people they can relate at least a little to most of them

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 5]

Forever obsessed with the way ecaflips can drink both using their tongue and just chugging liquids. Did he do this because he's nervous? Is he feeling cute? Am I insane?

One may say "Kerubim didn't tell anything was amiss to Joris because he didn't know it would be Julith", but tbh, the Ebony Dofus being stolen puts Joris in danger simply by the virtue of their connection, and Kerubim himself knows that.

He should have thought this through better. However, as we have established in the last 32498234 posts, he is stupid.

(I like to think that he went here really hoping that Bakara would say "some random rogues left with the ebony dofus LOL XD. Anyway yeah I still don't want Joris to know anything about his family or talk to me, godspeed on lying to him more, epic <3")

So real.

Something I didn't comment on is that Bakara is quite cold during this exchange: personally, she has no stake here. Unlike Kerubim, it's not like someone she loves might die or get hurt, — 10 years too late to care about that.

I think she is just quietly simmering with rage and trying not to kill half the patrons at this beautiful bar full of delicious alcohol.

I think Bakara is both worried that Kerubim told Joris nothing (meaning that the boy is in danger without knowing it (HE IS)) and that Kerubim might have told him something (which would mean that she would have to interact with him. They did have an agreement for a reason, after all...)

I think it's cool if she has conflicting priorities like that, though I know that the canonical reason behind that line is probably the first one.

Either way, this level of danger is enough for Kerubim to call off their agreement immediately.

Kerubim has 200000 different reasons to be deathly depressed about having to tell Joris about his family, but some of them are:

He beat his mother to near death and assumed she was dead for 10 years.

Joris's biological father is cooler than him, and he will lose the cool dad Olympics.

He doesn't want Joris to be saddled with this bullshit.

Joris will learn that all this time he had an aunt who wanted nothing to do with him because, to her, he is a spawn of her brother's murderer.

His mother is called "The Butcher of Brakmar"

His father is famous and illustrious and legendary.

Joris will be unhappy about being lied to for the past 10 years, including now, in a city that has a huge ass memorial to Jahash.

No matter how hard he gives, it seems like all Kerubim does is take. I think that's a pretty hard thing to realize about one's own parent.

Like for the past 10 years all he does is give, give, give, to a guy who cares sooooo much that once he almost left him without fingers by slamming a chest shut while Joris was holding it. The guy who was still treating and touching him like an infant when he was 7 years old.

That's when the darkness began, followers. He HATES Kerubim for this.

And I mean this unironically! When you're mad at someone you love, it can turn into a big case of "that bitch eating crackers syndome", where you remember every single slightly annoying thing they've ever done, — and it all suddenly seems like Proof of Irredeemable Evil on their part.

And it is kinda complicated because Joris does have a right to feel that way about Kerubim. In microcosm, most of the things he's done are pretty simple, — but it's 10 years of nothing but these small little fuck-ups with major fuck-ups in-between.

Some may say "noo" to this but, personally, I think Joris is based. He's growing a backbone.

I think it's likely that Indie was a stricter parent than Kerubim, and due to their similarities, she assumes that Kerubim will punish Joris. (Make him stand in a corner? Make him eat veggies? Make him shower? Who even knows.)

Jokes on her, Joris has likely not seen a single disciplinary action in his entire life, baybee.

[greetings-inferiors]

Okay dumb theory time hear me out

So like I know that star wars is all but confirmed for kh4 and they're probably doing live action properties for unreality but shut up pirates and Tron are in reality so star wars might be a reality world

What if the properties for unreality are videogames?

The only thing we KNOW is from unreality is verum rex, which, in universe and out, is a videogame.

But what games would be represented? Disney doesn't really do games.

First of all: final fantasy. Yes I know 7, 8, 9, and 10 (and maybe more but I think those are it) are represented, but what about 6? Or 4? Or maybe even have unreality versions of those games, that could be pretty cool.

But there's another candidate. Who has kingdom hearts collaborated with that own multiple video game franchises that would be perfect for kingdom hearts?

Nintendo.

SMASH IS CANON BAYBEE

So when Sora is expelled from reality he's sent barreling across unreality. He either beats or gets his ass beat by Yozora, in sequences that we have no idea if it even actually happened or not, but in the more canon ending where he beats Yozora he just fades to white and appears in the final world again, so what if he went to smash which is like... A nexus for unreality, in the same way that twilight town was the nexus for reality?

Do I think this is what is happening? No, absolutely not. But I want to see mario in a kingdom hearts game. I want a monado keyblade. MAKE IT HAPPEN NOMURA.

[devotioncrater]

two wolves live inside me:

being okay with tedtrent going canon without an onscreen kiss. either it is an ambiguous open ending type thing where they allude to these two starting something new, OR it is not that ambiguous at all and they confess to each other how they feel. either would work for me because sometimes a story doesn't require explicit physical depiction of a romance in order to convey that the romance is there. also a bisexual character is still bisexual even if there isn't onscreen "proof" of them swinging both ways

really needing wanting an onscreen tedtrent kiss also implied sex scene because it would be a huge release of whatever homoerotic tension is going on between them. also ted has only ever kissed sassy onscreen & i think the juxtaposition of a passionless kiss with someone who doesn't view him romantically vs a passionate kiss with someone who does would go stupid, go crazy. trent has expressed wanting to kiss his fella after a won match, too, and i think he should get the chance to have his Big Gay Smooch. it would also be fun to watch conservatives have a meltdown that their favorite fictional coach is bisexual in a way they cannot erase or dismiss. out and proud baybee. moreover, in a show about romcommunism, the main lead should get an iconic romcom kiss

[myfaveisfuckable]

Yamato:

1. He's like the epitome of golden retriever boy. He's huge and silly and strong and has big boobs. also he has dog powers which is cool.

2. He's 28 and lived a very sheltered life... wearing explosive chains, trapped on an island and hunted down by his father and subordinates. So, he's most likely a virgin now (unless he fucked Ace), but he's now free and living large as a hero, able to get out all of that repressed energy from 20 years of house arrest.

He idolizes and wants to be Kozuki Oden who, at the age of 15, seduced so many married women that their husbands took up arms and fought him in the Harem War. And Yamato KNOWS this because he read Oden's journal. If Yamato really wants to emulate Oden, he needs to FUCK like him, too! Yamato's the strongest person currently living in Wano, he's got the stamina and power for a whole nation.

* CANON BAYBEE 🎉🎉

Qi Rong:

So in the second season of the anime. He appears. And his MAKEUP and his ACRYLICS you cannot tell me his ghussy (ghost ussy) is not popping. He's so sucks

But like... That ghussy tho...

* not proven to not have one* no pussy but he be serving cunt ngl* he has a pussy but he's too cringefail to serve any cunt

[swamplatibule]

GREETINGS it is 9:25 PM on a Sunday as i write this. My hands are shaking rn but that’s probably a result of the energy drink that gave me heart palpitations earlier </3 anyway it’s time for

Lantern Eclipse!

Lantern Eclipse takes place in a world that ended a while ago! Roughly 100-odd years ago, a combination of weird mold creatures, magic nature spirits, and good old-fashioned nuclear radiation completely took over, resulting in the destruction of the vast majority of manmade areas! Most major cities have been completely overgrown with mold and megaflora, save for a few “havens” scattered few and far in between.

Don’t @ me i’ve lost track of how many apocalypse paracosms i have and that probably says something about my psyche that I’m not ready to hear

ANYWAY. Our story takes place in one of those havens, called Guardian City, which is mostly known for its massive size, wild amount of neon lights, and also the really intense military organization called the Shepherd Division that runs the place like the navy! Or like. Half of it. There’s also the violet district that takes up maybe a fifth of the city, which is mostly controlled by various mob kingpins, drug lords, etc. technicallyyyyy the Shepherd Divison is supposed to control the area, but they generally let the violet district remain as is in exchange for all their bullshit not spilling over into the “respectable” areas.

Also I feel like i should mention that Guardian City is huge. Like the size of Montana. There’s a massive wall surrounding its border to keep the plants out, but you cannot see that wall from the center of the city

ANYWAY. This is all basic background info. Now it’s meat time baybee

This is one of those stories where there are several separate plots with entirely different casts of characters going on at once, so I’m just going to go over one of them for now because it’s getting late and as previously mentioned my hands are shaking so bad rn

The first person we need to meet is Fairywren Merlo! She was a skater boy <3 Fairywren is my darling dearest who can do no wrong. She’s also a mercenary for hire and has most definitely killed before. She has a sniper rifle, roller skates, autism and a dream!!

^ that would be her in Normal WorldTM i still have yet to decide on her canon outfit

The next person you should know about is Eddie Duncan, who i described in my notesapp as “like if colonel sanders murdered people. Charming in a gross way, like a marginally more evil televangelist with a gun.” Eddie is an INCREDIBLY influential figure within the violet district - he’s rich, he has the Shepherd Division in his pocket, and he’s also incredibly dangerous, so everyone wants to stay on his good side. Do people like him? Depends who you ask. Everyone, however, is scared of him. To be more precise, they’re scared of his “hunting dog,” the silent, nameless masked man who follows his every command. we’ll get back to these two later.

now, fairywren is Good At Her Job. a bit too good at it. she gets a job to kill some random ass guyTM who she’s never heard of, so she does it! very well! EXCEPT turns out that was the son of a very important member of the shepherd guard, and the guy who hired her to kill him has now vanished, leaving her a) unpaid and b) being searched for by the shepherds. uh oh!!

the best solution she can think of is to get out of the city, but she doesn’t have any means of surviving outside the city until she meets Eddie, who brings her and a few other mercenaries along on some Top Secret Project that he’s working on which requires them all to venture outside the city wall and search for some lost artifact he needs. fairywren and the others are mostly just there to kill mold monsters and be human shields for him.

they go the first few days without seeing any trouble aside from the usual freaky wasteland monsters, and then uh oh! they get ambushed by a group looking for that same artifact! and this is where the “hunting dog” i mentioned earlier becomes Very Important!

he is what’s known in Neon Eclipse as a “terror” - an ageless, human-appearing creature that feeds only on human flesh and is nearly impossible to kill! they’re like vampires but. worse <3 I can go into SO much detail about them but i will restrain myself for now because it’s story time. but. anyway. everyone in their party watches him absolutely rip through all of their attackers!

obviously Eddie’s hired guns aren’t too pleased about traveling out in the middle of nowhere with a guy who would 100% eat them if given the chance, but Eddie assures them that he’s entirely under control. see, each terror has a “heart,” usually in the form of some small weird looking stone. If someone else gets their hands on it, then they can use it to force the Terror to do whatever they want! and Eddie keeps the heart of his nameless follower on a cord around his neck!

turns out Eddie and his older brother used to be in the business of researching terrors about 40 years ago! they stumbled upon the one that now follows him everywhere while he was asleep, and Eddie’s brother got a bit too close and. well. oopsie!

but hey he might be down a brother but at least he has Some Fuckin Guy on his side

some shit happens, and one by one, everyone else in the party dies in various terrible ways until it’s only Eddie, Fairywren, and the terror left. Then Eddie finds his artifact! yay! buuuuut he doesn’t want any witnesses so Fairywren has to die </3 alas! She manages to escape - barely - but it’s hard to outrun a terror for a few minutes, let alone forever. Eddie catches up to her within a few days, and things are looking Very Bad for our dear fairywren, who is now face to face with death.

BUT. instead of attempting to fight the terror! fairywren shoots Eddie! she fully expects the terror to kill her after, but seeing as the guy commanding him is now dead, he takes his heart from Eddie’s body and leaves! and also starts laughing, which is the first noise Fairywren has ever heard him make. spooky

Fairywren is now completely lost in the cursed wilderness with no way back! BUT she eventually catches up with our terror friend (who can talk now thanks to not having Eddie forcing him to be quiet anymore) and they get to be friends <3 yippie <3 she also gives him the name Ford (she suggested harrison ford because he’s her favorite actor but our terror friend thought harrison was a dumb name) they’re still lost but at least they don’t have to worry if they’re attacked and she is mostly confident that he probably won’t murder her

n e way! that’s one major story thread written, who even knows how many left to go 😭 yay

taglist: @burningivy @shrimpnymph @diphtheria420 @parasdreams @dremieblur @acircusfullofdemons @daydreaming-memories (lmk if you want to be taken off the taglist pretty please!!)

[sheepiemc]

If it’s canon in the sheepiemc verse that Diavolo develops new ideas for RAD through human movies, how do you think he’d react to watching bring it on, or something cheerleading adjacent?

i've been thinking about this since i got it yesterday but i wanted to finish the next chapter's draft bc i was on a roll this is SO FUN

i had it in my head that RAD had cheerleaders for fangol but i think i absorbed that from some fics bc there is no mention of them on the wiki SO WE GOT FREE REIGN BAYBEE (also forgive me i haven't seen the movie in a hot minute)

SO YOU SHOWED DIAVOLO BRING IT ON

📣 now obviously there's gonna be a RAD cheer competition

📣 sure no one really knows how to put on a cheer routine but that doesn't really matter when you have magic and a dream

📣 so Diavolo obviously can't participate himself so he judges alongside Barbados and MC

📣 also obviously the little cheerleading outfit is a HUGE part of the appeal of this idea so i made a chart

📣 OBVIOUSLY asmo would have no problem gettin in that cheerleading outfit (he probably would design them), i feel like solomon and simeon would have a good attitude about it, and i know i said Diavolo is a judge but you cannot stop this demon from wearing a cute outfit and he deserves it.

📣 in the middle tier, they would all take varying levels of conviction to put on the outfit, but the initial instinct isn't there, right?

📣 and of course, OF COURSE the avatar of pride wouldn't subject himself to the "embarrassment" bc he's a fucking killjoy 😆 he would rock it and he won't even give it a chance

📣 anyway the rest of the school would have to participate too otherwise there would be no competition but who really cares about them

📣 oh my god wait i was thinking they would all be on one team but could you imagine the chaos if they were all captains of their own teams comprised of other demons of their sin 😳 oh my god the DRaMA

📣 now THAT would be juicy... team lust and team pride would be the definite frontrunners, mammon would probably try to cheat thinking there was a cash prize, levi's experience with idol dances actually get him pretty far... can't see team sloth getting very far so maybe belphie would just be on team gluttony by default... team wrath in the running just to beat lucifer... huh... maybe i'll come back to this 🤔

📣 oh no now i wanna design all their uniforms......

📣 what could the prize possibly be that would make all these demons participate in this foolishness? honestly i have no idea 😆 i thought it might be the non-prize of being the official RAD cheerleading team but who of the brothers would actually want that except asmo? maybe dia will grant the winner a wish or smth

thanks for the suggestion!!! this was really fun to think about 😄

[hakunahistata]

Tagged by my main squeeze @thescholarlystrumpet! Thank you, this was a fun deep dive!

How many works do you have on ao3?

11.

What's your total ao3 word count?

188,367 - Though that includes collab words so it's really closer to ~73K (which is still wild to me!)

What fandoms do you write for?

Good Omens, baybee

Top five fics by kudos:

love not given lightly: My human AU featuring Soft Dom!Aziraphale and Prickly Sub!Crowley. I think about Them literally every day

Paradigm Shift: If you want to read about Crowley pining at the office, c'mon down!

Untitled Bullshit: Not-Good Omens, but a Steve/Bucky fic from 2018

Coming Home: A Choose Your Own Adventure Smutventure organized by the incredible @doonarose

S.T.A.Y.: My most recent fic written for the High Pollen Count Event, or: Sex Pollen in space

Do you respond to comments?

Always, always, always 🖤

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The End of All Things, without question (sorry, Crowley...)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hm, they all have happy endings for the most part but the happiest is probably a tie between S.T.A.Y. and Paradigm Shift.

Do you get hate on fics?

Wildly, nothing yet!

Do you write smut?

You bet your bottom, I do!

Craziest crossover:

No crossovers... yet but I do have an Aziraphale/Alec Hardy WIP in my GDocs who said that

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I'm blissfully unaware

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, I did give someone permission though :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've worked on Coming Home and A Very Clippy Christmas! @thescholarlystrumpet and I also have a collab that we will resume soon!

All time favorite ship?

There are so many, but Good Omens owns my entire ass so Aziraphale/Crowley 🖤

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god, a bunch! I have a post-S2 canon fic that I'm having fun with but I'm not sure will ever see the light of day

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at Feelings and description.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Guh, dialogue. I'm workin' on it!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it! I've seen other languages done very creatively with context given either in the introspection or in footnotes.

First fandom you wrote in?

Oh jeez, it was a bandom fic when I was probably 13 (no, I'm not telling you the band. some things are meant to stay between me and god)

Favorite fic you've written?

Probably Paradigm Shift! I had to wrestle with a ton of self-doubt throughout that one and it positively pushed me past my comfort zone!  

No pressure tagging: @naromoreau, @malachitegrey, @voluptatiscausa, @gaiaseyes451, @the-literal-kj, @gingiekittycat and viewers like you!