#and it would be 10x better dude

[something-old-something-new]

As someone who actually played the game, I approve.

You should play pokepark

You should play pokepark

[mrfoox]

I compared the guy with Bob the builder and he just went along with it, thanks

[monochromemoomin]

dude david tennant macbeth is so so amazing i cannot believe that actually happened.

not gonna spoil obvs but i just wanna say that whatever you’re imagining it to be, it’s 10x better. the acting is so phenomenal (duh) the music is gorgeous the staging is fantastic every decision was clearly so deliberate and everything counts it’s so awesome.

the only other thing i wanna say is that david does his usual little flares in his acting which kind of took me by surprise and it sounds kind of weird but trust me if you also suffer from david tennant disease and have watched every thing he’s been in ever (/hj) then you’ll know them when you see them.

anyway 10/10 would macbeth again my face hurts from smiling so much and i was shaking afterwards

[missusdunn]

Bam Margera X f!reader X Ryan Dunn pt.1

Warnings!! - Smut, Oral f!giving, cussing, 18++++

Dating Bam Margera threw you into a lot of spontaneous adventures. The parties, impulsive trips across the world, dangerous stunts. It became normal to expect the unexpected. The only predictable thing about Bam was his selfishness especially when it came to you. You are his and his only. You couldn’t even have a friendly conversation with another man without Bam going into a bitch fit. However, there is one exception. Ryan Dunn. They’re a two-in-one deal. You can’t get close to one without the other. And Bam trusts Ryan so no reason for jealousy. Just a trio of pals.

One night, Ryan invites the two of you to his apartment to drink and hang out. Anticlimactic but fun nonetheless. You and Bam head over there with a bottle of vodka and let yourselves in. “Oh hey, you two! Thanks for knocking, so considerate!” Ryan greeted. Bam chuckles and says “Don’t act like you don’t walk into my house like that, asswipe.” “Whatever,” Ryan grabs the vodka from Bam “this’ll make up for it.” I roll my eyes, kick off my shoes, and make my way to the couch. Bam follows suit and Ryan goes to the kitchen to get cups. Bam stretches and melts into his seat. “Finally a night to relax with my two favorite people.” He smiles and puts his arm over my shoulder. I playfully roll my eyes “Don’t be sappy just to get into my pants later.” He sarcastically puts his hands up “Sorry, sorry.” He smirks. “I have better tactics anyway.” He cups my face with his right hand and leans in for a kiss. Of course, I kiss back and it doesn’t take long until his tongue is in my mouth. After a few more seconds Ryan is back. “Excuse me but I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t fuck on my couch!” He says playfully. “We’re not fucking, Dunn,” Bam grumbles with a slight pout having cut the make-out short. “Yet. Thank god I stopped it just in time.” Ryan says placing cups on the coffee table. I laugh and pick up my glass to fill with liquor. Ryan stops me from picking up the bottle and pours it for me. “Oh, such a gentleman,” I say sarcastically while taking a sip. “Anything for you, darling.” He playfully winks filling up the other two glasses. “You fuckers know I’m right here right?” Bam rolls his eyes as Ryan and I laugh. Bam grabs the remote and tosses it to Ryan. “Put some shit on, Dunn let’s get fucked up.” As he chugs his first round.

A couple hours later we’re all buzzed. It didn’t take long for the TV to become background noise. After multiple conversations filled with slurs and giggles the topic of Ryan’s love life came up.

“You really haven’t been getting any lately?” Bam laughs. “Dude it’s not a big deal!” Ryan defends himself. “I’ve just been busy!” Bam continues to laugh “Yeah you’re so busy binge drinking on your couch!” Ryan’s brows furrow “fuck you.” I hit Bam on the shoulder and give Ryan a sympathetic look. “Ry, there’s no shame in not having sex! Not everyone can be sexually active twenty-four seven.” I say “Unlike some whores…” I motion to Bam. Ryan lets out a chuckle and Bam rolls his eyes. “If I’m a whore that would make you one too, idiot,” Bam argues. “Oh babe you and I both know that’s not how it works,” I sigh “Your body count is 10x times mine!” “Whatever since you’re fucking me you’re a whore by association.” He snickers. “You’re such an idiot.” I sip my drink. Bam smirks and leans in. “Your idiot.” Kissing me and turning it into a full-on make-out session in less than ten seconds. That’s gotta be a record.

Ryan groans. “Again please do that anywhere else.” Bam pulls away and looks at his friend. “Yknow what just fucking join, Dunn.” Ryan’s eyes go wide and I’m too shocked to say anything. “What?” Ryan asks, thinking it’s a joke. “It’ll help with your blue balls that make you so pissy,” bam smirks “and I know how long you’ve wanted to fuck y/n.” Ryan keeps his eyes on Bam with red coating his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bam chuckles “Yes you do!” He points out “Before we started dating you, I would talk about all the things we’d do to her!” Now I’m the one with cherry-red cheeks. “Come on, Dunn you down or not?” Bam looks at me as if he’s asking with his eyes. “I’m down if Ryan’s down…” I stumbled out. Bam looks back at Ryan “Alright, let’s do it then.” Ryan agrees. Bam smirks in satisfaction and motions Ryan to sit next to me. Now I'm in the middle. Bam goes for my neck kissing and sucking. While I’m left looking into his friend’s eyes. Ryan hesitated a little bit but then kissed me like it was the end of the world. My throat vibrated with moans and Bam’s hands made their way to my chest. Groping me through my top before pulling it over my chest to expose my tits. I gasped into Ryan’s mouth from the sudden movements. Ryan pulls back to look at my breasts, groaning at the sight. He pushes Bam’s hands away and replaces them with his own. Bam immediately starts to kiss me sloppily. As Ryan has begun sucking on my tits making sure both nipples get the same amount of attention. My moans gradually increase the hotter it gets. I push both the boys away from me. They give me a confused and concerned look. Before they could say anything I got down on my knees in front of them. Their eyes widened in realization before slightly scooting closer together so they weren't too far apart. I began to palm them through their jeans, both of them already hard. “I need you both now,” I whine. Immediately the two start fumbling with their belts whipping their dicks out.

I spit onto both of my hands and begin to jerk my boyfriend and his best friend off. Bam’s groaning and Ryan has his eyes closed letting out breathy moans. I wrap my mouth around Bam’s dick and begin to deep throat him. Trying to get his cock covered in as much saliva as possible. As my left hand continues to stroke Ryan’s Bam grabs my hair and pushes me down on his length a bit more. Groaning when he reaches the back of my throat. I push back off his lap and replace my mouth with my hand. I shift my attention to Ryan and I start to suck the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue around it. And jerking off his shaft twisting up and down. Ryan’s heavily breathing with his eyes locked on mine. I continue to switch between the two men with my mouth, whilst jerking the other one off. Bam’s moans get louder letting me know that he's close. I have a hand on each of the men's shafts. I begin to firmly stroke Bam, twisting up and down. My tongue hovers over his tip waiting for his cum. With a final groan, Bam shoots his load onto my face. From the lewd image of my face covered in cum Ryan finishes in my hand. “Shit.” Ryan curses. I move my face towards my cum-covered hand and clean it up with my tongue. Both boys catch their breaths before sharing a chuckle. “I can’t believe we just fucking did that.” Ryan laughs. “I remove my hands from them, cleaning myself up with a nearby throw blanket. “Consider it an early Christmas present.” Bam continues. “You may wanna wash this…” I smirk, tossing the soiled blanket at Ryan. The two laugh as I get up to go to the bathroom. Until Bam interrupts my movements “Hey, where are you going? It’s your turn.”

[the-anxious-stargazer]

Like Lucky Strike || Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Y/N asks out Sam on a date, both of them worry about how the night would go. When the night came and the date went on, they felt their worries settle down knowing that they were both comfortable of each other.

Words: 4.4k

Note: i'm happy y'all enjoyed the first part and honestly i never thought of making a part 2 so here you go! i'm sorry if it took too long i was trying so hard to find the motivation to write the date part during a breakup HUHU enjoy more sam fluff bc this woman deserves the fucking world :) also yes quinn never went bad we are healthy so she is not going to avenge her bitchass brother.

[Masterlist] [Part 1]

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"Hey Matty, where's a great place to bring a girl you have been crushing on for quite some time now? " Y/N asks her good friend, who paused his typing,

"Wait, you finally asked Sam out?" Matt states his shock.

Y/N had been rambling to her good friend and boss, Matt, about how things had been going between her and Sam. If he were being honest, his friend's been stupidly in love with Sam since the day she shared their conversation one night at the diner. For someone who likes to observe the world around her, Matt was sure she was the most oblivious of how she felt towards a specific woman that works in her favorite diner.

It had been the day after Y/N had walked Sam to her apartment after work and asked her to dinner, and for the past few hours since she got home, she's been overthinking about it. She ends up planning what she'd be wearing for the date and settled wearing something more casual than what she always wore whenever she stopped by the diner. If someone were watching her choosing between the amount of clothes she had picked they'd think that she has lost her mind. Though Y/N had decided on her clothes, the next on her list was the place they'd have dinner at. Like what Sam said last night, she was aiming for a place they can only afford than going to an expensive restaurant and pouring her entire savings into some dish that she's not even sure she'd like. So that's why she seeks someone else's opinion,

"Yes, I did, and I'm panicking because I have no place in mind to take her to!" The woman nervously answers before she sat down on the chair by his table and tapped her feet. It was something she's been doing for the past few hours of contemplating things.

"Well, don't take her anywhere expensive." Her friend emphasizes as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

"I'm aware, dude. I can't spend my entire bank account for a plate of steak that I can do 10x better at home." Y/N jokes when she can't even cook much.

"Then why not cook her something?" Matt playfully suggests, and he sees the cringe on her face before replying, "And attempt to burn my place down again? Gladly! " 

"C'mon, it can't be that bad Y/N." He tries to convince her.

Y/N suddenly recalls the time she tried to make spaghetti and ended up burning the sauce and cooking her noodles mushy. The chaos she omitted that Sunday afternoon caused her fire alarm to go off, and earned numerous knocks on her door after her attempt. Let's just say she never bothered to try cooking anything fresh other than instant noodles and canned food. Even her mother laughed so hard at her story when she was telling it on the phone.

"Did you forget that I almost burned my place down because of tomato sauce, Matthew?" The sarcasm that drips in her voice makes Matt laugh,

"Oh, what about that taco truck you said you've been wanting to try for the past two weeks?" Matt remembers her words. The woman's eyes light up from his suggestion.

Y/N still had been eyeing that taco truck that was a few walks away from her apartment but had always been preoccupied to try.

"Oh my gosh, Matt. You're a fucking genius! " Y/N exclaims before standing up.

"Then I'll let you get off early later." Matt chuckles at his friend before he watches her walk out of his room and go to the lobby to continue her brainstorming. Though she does stop by the door before saying, "Thank you, Matty. You're the best!"

Meanwhile, in the Bailey-Carpenter apartment, Sam had reluctantly asked her young sister what outfit she could wear, and it ended up Mindy, Anika, and Quinn tagging along. Tara was beyond ecstatic to help her big sister with something like this. After almost a year of living in New York, Sam's finally letting herself be open in the dating scene. The other three were beyond surprised to hear that the Samantha Carpenter was going on a date with someone they had never heard of before, but Tara filled them with what she knew. Quinn and Tara rummage into Sam's closet for some clothes qualified enough for her to wear tonight. 

So far, the progress is going very slow.

"Wait so, she's a regular at the diner you work at and defended you from these mean girls that been harassing you? Damn, now I want to meet the woman." Mindy babbles as she sat on Sam's bed and rests one of her arms in-between her girlfriend's thighs.

"And she always walks her home after her shifts. I sometimes catch up to them and that ass of hers is looking mighty fine in those pantsuits." Quinn adds while studying one of Sam's crop top.

"That's so sweet. Sam, she already sounds like a keeper." Anika smiles at the older Carpenter who has been embarrassed the entire time.

"Oh my god you guys, we're not even anything yet." Sam covers her face.

"Not even anything? Sam, she's literally the first person you opened up to with none of our connections. And she waits for you to finish your shift sometimes and walks you home!" Tara points out facts as she turns around to face her sister,

"And— And, she's the first person to ever make you genuinely laugh! I have never heard you laugh since you know who!" Her sister continues.

"Tell me, has she ever done that to anyone else at the diner?" The younger Carpenter continues, and the three wait for her response as she froze.

The coffee breaks she always offered to everyone turned out mostly to be her's except for the times she was off. Y/N does always wait for her to finish her shift but only when she's on the morning shift. On the night shifts, she's more than happy to accompany her before 10 pm to head home and rest. Sam always texted her whenever she got home before going to sleep and it always surprised her when she got a reply so early to bid her to have a good rest. Y/N only offered the walks to her specifically that even Cate and Dolly tease her about it while Dale proudly smiles at his favorite regular. Sam concludes that her sister was right. When she took too long to respond Tara snaps her fingers and scoffs in amusement.

"See? There is something!" The younger Carpenter finishes before she goes back to help Quinn.

"Okay, as much as I want to help Tara prove that she's right, why do you not have anything spicy here Sam? Not even a red dress or a cute skirt?" Quinn interjects and she gives up.

"I mean, tank tops, skinny jeans, and boots are Sam's thing. I don't see a problem with that." Mindy joins in with a shoulder shrug.

"I agree with her on that one." Her girlfriend beams and Mindy kisses her cheek for it.

Sam smiles at their antics before she finally helps find the perfect fit for her. She felt content to be surrounded by people who support her in this new chapter in her life. Part of her still felt incredibly nervous to go out with Y/N who felt the same way as she changed to the outfit she had planned which was a green plaid jacket, white shirt, black jeans, and walking shoes. It felt weird to dress this comfortably just to see Sam. She's at least checked herself in the mirror more times she can count than usual and has contemplated too many times if she should drop the jacket or not. But the weather today seems to tell her that it might rain one way or the other. Y/N just had to be sure that she was prepared for the worst.

When she finally stopped herself from stressing about her fit, she grabbed her stuff and left her apartment to walk her way to Sam's apartment. Even if it was around five blocks away walking felt better than getting a taxi and getting stuck in traffic at this hour. Y/N put on her earphones as she strutted through the New York crowd and minded her business. The people around her moved in routine as some bumped into each other and yelled at the person to watch their way while some people talked loudly on the phone. She was beyond immune to how the people here are the way they are. So as Y/N arrives at the Bailey-Carpenter apartment building, she catches a glimpse of the sisters waiting for her by the stairs and Tara is the first one to notice her arrival. Her eyes couldn't leave Sam's body as she stood next to her sister who sat on the stairs and tapped her shoes nervously. She wore a cropped tank top and blue skinny jeans to match her usual boots that she wore to work. Y/N always liked her wearing tank tops because she gets to see those arms for free.

"Y/N!" Tara jumped from her seat as she ran to hug the woman nearing them. Y/N smiles at the younger Carpenter and hugs her with one hand.

Sam looks up to see both of them and she freezes at the sight of her. Those doe eyes couldn't leave Y/N's figure as she initiated small talk with Tara. Everything else blurred out as she watched the woman smile as she spoke and her voice was inaudible. She thought she looked amazing even in casual wear. It was too weird to see her outside of her work clothes since she's gotten so used to Y/N visiting her right after work. She didn't even realize that they had approached her. Sam couldn't snap out of her trance until someone snapped their fingers in front of her. Tara giggled at her sister's unresponsiveness when Y/N greeted her and dropped her hand that was in front of her sister's face.

"Huh?" Sam uttered as she blinked a few times.

"You good, Sam?" Y/N asks as she tries to hide away her amusement,

"Yeah, y-you look good." She sheepishly replies and smiles back at her before she hears her compliment her back, "I could say the same for you,"

"You ready?" The woman saw her nod before both of them turned to notice Tara grinning at them.

"You better bring her back home before 10 or we will hunt you down, Y/L/N." The younger Carpenter tries to intimidate her with an emphasis on "we" and it makes Y/N laugh at her attempt. The interaction caused Sam to push Y/N's back for them to leave.

"10 o' clock, Y/L/N! Don't forget it! "

"Yes, ma'am!" She turns around and shouts back with a salute.

"Tara get back inside! I'll see you later." Tara shakes her head while giggling before following her order.

Unconsciously, Y/N holds her hand while Sam's free hand covers her face in embarrassment. As much as she loved her sister dearly, Tara was surely doing all she could to humiliate her in front of Y/N. But deep down, she's more than happy that they bonded well. Tara is kind of easy to befriend so Y/N had no worries getting along with the young Carpenter. The woman in question smiles at her as she covers her blushed face and finally takes the lead to walk them to their destination.

"I am so sorry about her." Sam tries to apologize.

"It's nothing, I like seeing you all embarrassed. It's cute." Y/N let her know.

Sam tries to act cool from her words and removes her hand from her face before looking at her to ask, "Stop it! Where are you taking us?"

"Oh, there's this taco truck I've always passed whenever I come back from the diner and have always wanted to try it out. Might as well try there." Y/N informs as they walk past a crowd.

They were a crowd of teenagers and laughing loudly at their shenanigans. Y/N felt Sam stiffen from the crowd so she carefully let go of her hand and slipped it on her back to settle her hand on her waist. This moved their bodies closer and the move made Sam blush again. Part of her wish was that Y/N wouldn't notice it but she was already too late as it made her smirk. Her cautious mind calmed down after.

"Do you want me to move away?" The woman softly questions to her ear. She could've sworn that her voice shifted from sweet to silky.

Situations like this used to make Sam freeze after Woodsboro, but Y/N has unconsciously helped her get through it. She felt incredibly safe with her around. Safety was something she had never felt since moving to New York before all the rumors started.

"N-No, this is fine." Sam stuttered, cursing at herself for doing so.

Y/N just simply smiles before they continue walking close to each other. The warm feeling on her chest continued that she couldn't help herself from smiling. Sam's nervousness was long gone and she felt more comfortable in Y/N's arms. They were able to pass by the diner and wave at the staff and regular customers inside. Behind Y/N's back, Dale had just won the bet he had with both servers who thought she wouldn't have the guts to ask Sam or the other way around. Cate whined in defeat before handing the cook his ten bucks. The smug smile on Dale's face only annoyed Dolly who also gave her ten bucks and continued cleaning the table she had abandoned after seeing the two.

When Y/N notices the familiar deli shop on the other side of the road she smiles knowing that they are near. Her hands loosen from Sam's hips and beams at her,

"What kind of taco do you like?" The woman randomly asks and Sam hums to think about her answer while they wait,

"My dad used to make these fish tacos when we were young and when we had a trip to Mexico I had this amazing one but forgot it," Sam replies.

"What about you?" She voices out her curiosity.

"I've had Al Pastor once and it was good. The one that's been showing up in my timeline lately is Birria tacos and I swear I want to try them so bad." Y/N happily answers.

Sam only giggles at her ramble before they finally arrive at the place and it was kind of crowded. There was quite the line for both the order and waiting and so far the people who were already eating seemed to be having a good time while enjoying the food. The place had slowly upgraded since Y/N had laid eyes on it. At first, it was just a taco truck by an empty parking space, but now there were tables and decorations around their area with lights complimenting the homey vibe of the area. The owner must have gotten a lot of attention to make this place look lively. Sam liked how cozy and warm the area looked as she observed more.

"So, what are we ordering?" Y/N wonders as she looks her way.

She sees the older Carpenter stare at the sign and concentrate on which order should she pick. The way her eyebrows furrowed as she debated between fish and beef made Y/N's heart flutter. Those doe eyes that used to be so mysterious are now mesmerizing to her. She thought she was so adorable that she didn't even realize that she'd been staring for too long.

"I mean, we only have two options. We can order both and just share if you'd like?" Sam concludes her thought process before she turns to see the woman's reaction only to be smiling at her mindlessly.

"Y/N? " She calls for her when she doesn't answer her.

"Hmm? Yeah, that sounds good to me." Y/N blurts out when she pulls away from her thoughts and it's Sam's turn to be amused by her getting distracted.

"What's on your mind?" Sam tries to tease her and it only makes the woman blush.

"I-I, uhm—"

"I'm messing with you, dummy." The teasing she caused had only made Y/N blush even harder as she scratched the back of her head and laughed along with her.

Just the sight of Y/N like this will be stuck at the back of Sam's head for who knows how long.

While waiting in line, the two continued conversing about their day. Y/N excluded the part where she was panicking over where she'd take them to dinner and stressing over her outfit. She found it cute how all the girls came together to help Sam with her outfit even when she only asked for Tara. Her sister has mentioned the three before whenever she hangs out at the diner when she has no classes in the afternoon. So far, Mindy is her favorite from the stories. As they ordered and finished up, it was time to wait in line. Gladly the service was fast since around four people were working inside a food truck to cook and prepare while two worked to clean the tables. When their orders were placed and the food served later, both enjoyed their dinner with laughs and stories. Y/N liked both fish and beef but Sam preferred the fish because it brought some nostalgia for her. The woman didn't mind offering the majority of the fish tacos to her and just smiled when Sam appreciated her for offering them.

"You know… I thought you wouldn't return them." Y/N began while trying to add some salsa verde to her half-eaten taco. The Carpenter girl figured that they were talking about how they felt for each other as she wiped off whatever was on her face after finishing her last taco.

"Well, I've never really had anyone openly be friendly with me and stick around even when I don't show much... interest." Sam answers.

"Stick around huh?" The woman teases with a grin before biting in.

"I mean, who's the one who kept asking for coffee breaks?" Sam watches her stifle her laugh while trying to finish chewing her food and swallow it down before replying to her,

"In my defense, I offer coffee breaks to everyone." Y/N tries to say.

"And yet you still offered it after I declined twice. You were a tad bit persistent on that." All she could do was shake her head.

"What can I say, I liked the whole mystery behind you. Intrigued me a lot and I'm glad I was patient enough to make it this far." Y/N admits, leaning back in her seat to cross her arms with a small smile.

Her eyes follow Sam's every move as she leans close to her and hovers her mouth next to her ear to say, "You have something on your face."

The shortness of the gap between them causes Y/N to sit still while the Carpenter girl wipes away the smudge of salsa verde near the corner of her lips with tissue. Her cheeks light up as they stay close and she stares at Sam's lips which seem to be more irresistible than before. The urge to fight herself back from kissing her was her greatest battle right now because she was almost losing. Sam found amusement in her enthralled state, knowing that this was the same woman who almost swerved smoothly through her guarded walls for the past month. All that natural confidence she carried with ease was nowhere to be found now. Y/N felt her hold her chin before forcing her to move her attention to her face she had a smirk. Her blush only worsened.

"Eyes up here, Cariño." Y/N almost melted on the floor when she heard her speak again.

"T-Thank you." She was able to bring herself to voice her gratitude.

Sam only chuckled at her when she replied before checking her phone to see the time. The woman before her stood up with a sigh and motioned her to follow, "Come on, my sister's going to potentially hunt you down if we don't get back at 10."

"R-Right!" Y/N stutters as she stands up.

The Carpenter girl only smiled at her as she went to cling her right arm around her left arm. Both of them walked by the sidewalk with comfortable silence between them and Sam leaned her head to her shoulder, trusting Y/N fully. She felt a sense of accomplishment for coming this far. All that patience was worth the effort now that she was here with Sam trusting her safety and well-being with her that she could never let herself be like this around anyone else but her family. That warm feeling came back to her chest as they continued to walk and Y/N only smiled at the feel of it.

"Did you enjoy tonight?" Y/N gently asks,

"It was… better than expected. Thank you for tonight." Sam sends her gratitude to her while trying to look up to see her grinning in content.

"You're always welcome, Sam. You deserve it."

Both continued in silence as they walked back to the Carpenter's place. While walking, Y/N felt something land on her face, and she slightly jumped from it. Her head turned left and right to try and figure out what it was before she felt something land again. The woman then looked up to the sky that had the stars hidden, and before they knew it the rain started pouring down at them. Y/N's instinct was to run and look for some cover, but most of them were being occupied by other people. A thought popped into her mind, and she suddenly remembered that she wore her plaid jacket for this exact reason. She then started stripping out of the said jacket and covered Sam's head to keep her dryer.

"You're going to get wet!" Sam scolds her only to be brushed off,

"It's okay, my place is near we can get dry there!" Y/N yells before grabbing her hand to lead them to her apartment.

Both of them ran through the New York rain as it continued to pour harder and they laughed like children playing in the rain. Tara's joking threats were now forgotten and Sam would probably give her a call later to let her know. Y/N could feel her clothes getting wetter in the process but as promised, the buildings that she was all too familiar with walking past whenever she came home came nearer. Sam noted that she lived on a nicer street than she and her sister do, though only a little. When they reached the apartment building, Y/N quickly looked for her keys in the pockets of her jeans and fished them out when she found them. She then unlocks the building door and lets Sam in first before she follows to close the door behind.

"Oh my god, Y/N. You're all soaked up." Sam points out the obvious as she takes off the plaid jacket off her head.

All she heard from her was a laugh before she shakes her head to brush it off.

"At least you're not." The woman beams at her and she thinks she looks like a little kid smiling at her with her hair flat and clothes drenched.

Y/N noted that Lenard, the keeper, would probably kill her for causing a mess on the floor with a puddle slightly forming from the water dripping from them. She'll apologize to him by the morning before she comes to work, probably with a box of his favorite Marlboro to make up to him.

"C'mon, we might get sick if we don't get out of these," Y/N remarked as she started making her way to the elevator.

Luckily enough for them, the elevator was free for them and they both entered the box accompanied by squeaks from their shoes. Y/N pressed the button for her floor and leaned her weight to the railing at the back, Sam following her. The Carpenter girl takes a moment to stare at the woman beside her and notices how her skin glistens from the water and the lighting of the elevator. It was relatively bright, but not bright enough to be blinding. Numerous thoughts came to her mind as she burned her skin with her unwavering eyes that she felt them. Y/N turns to face her and breathed,

"What's on your mind, Sammy?" Something about the way her voice caused the hair on her arms to go up and made her throw all her restraints away.

And hearing that nickname was her breaking point.

"Fuck it," Sam uttered before she grabs Y/N's face and presses her lips onto hers.

Y/N's plaid jacket that she had held has been dropped on the floor and both couldn't be bothered by it. The force Sam had used to press her hard to the wall caught Y/N off guard and the kiss only made her feel like there was a fireworks display in her stomach. She noted how soft her lips were and the desperation in her kiss as they turned their heads in sync. There was a hint of citrus on Sam's lips and she liked the taste of it that they felt irresistible. Hands slowly make their way to Sam's hips before Y/N flips their places with her now pinning the Carpenter girl, barely breaking the kiss.

If only she knew how her knees weakened when she took dominance.

When it seemed like it was taking forever and both women struggled to breathe, they pulled away from each other but not too far away to miss each other's warmth. Sam decided to be the first one to break the silence in the hair,

"I know I was the one who started, but I think… we're going too fast." She addressed as she caught her breath.

Y/N giggles as she looks down to avoid her stare and a shade of pink paints her cheeks, "Yeah, I agree and I don't mind if you want to take things slow."

Sam just smiles at her in content when she looks back to her doe eyes and makes her heart leap at the adoration in Y/N's eyes. She felt too fortunate to have someone as considerate and patient as her. Almost too good to be true. But she reassured herself that Y/N was nothing like Richie. And Sam hoped her heart won't be broken twice with betrayal.

"I'd like that."

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THANK YOU FOR READING I'M SORRY IF THIS TOOK LONG <3

[cupidjyu]

a little crush

(ot11) when he has a crush on someone (specifically, you)(request hehe thank you!!)

notes: headcanons yet i write a whole FIC for each of them LMAO sorry!! and for the anon who requested like a whole month ago IM so sorry i am working on it, i didnt see it until yesterday :( word count: 2k

sangyeon

the tough guy

believe me when i say that this dude will put on the dumbest tough persona on

like as soon as he realizes that he has a crush, he cannot handle any of his feelings

so whenever he’s around he just… sort of puffs his chest out and does that stupid deep voice thing

“oh yeah i definitely enjoy that movie.” his throat is STRAININGGG “we should you know… *coughs* see it together some time.”

“is your voice okay?”

like bro already has a deeper voice and he makes it lower?? to seem cooler? like man you sound like kermit the frog but okay

but other than that, since his love language is acts of service, he utilizes that so much

almost too much

like if you’re thirsty, he suddenly shows up with smoothies of every single flavor

and if you ever question why, he says some dumb thing like

“im rich”

like ???????? okay????? good for you????

anyway, just know that he tries to put this tough guy thing on but if you ever so give him any affection, he will melt into putty

jacob

the overthinker

he’s just so sweet i don’t even know how to describe it

like when he realizes, it doesn’t really change anything for him. he just thinks oh!!! that’s why i was sweating around them haha

but i feel that he starts to overthink everything

because he likes a person of course he wants to treat them 10x better

but hes scared

he wants to hold your hand! and so he does. very. slowly.

like he’s um that sloth from zootopia. and you notice and you stare at him weirdly like

“do you want to hold my hand or something?”

“what!!! no!! definitely not!!” and then he will blush and pout ADORABLY. “maybe i do,” he would whisper under his breath

and it’s so hard to resist him so you just grab it for him. and he kind of just explodes

and as you’re walking together he will STILL overthink

like he’d bombard you with questions. “is my hand too sweaty? too hot? do you want to let go?”

maybe shush him up with a kiss (WHAT)

anyway, he just panics a lot, i think. so best to soothe him or he might just combust

younghoon

the softy

initially, when he thought of you just as a friend, he liked to tease you a lot. like a bunch of jokes and insults

but after he comes to the realization that he might have a crush on you, he starts treating you with utmost care

and it kind of scares you at first

“aren’t you supposed to be bullying me?”

“me? no never! who said?”

“said the same younghoon like a week ago.”

but it doesn’t mean that the caring side of him isn’t the cutest thing ever. like it’s so cute that you might just question how much sweeter he would be as a… boyfriend

what!! snap out of it!

he’s just naturally a very observant person and knows exactly what you would need

if your eyes are drooping from exhaustion, he would shyly lend you his shoulder to sleep on

a really great pillow. falling asleep on him is now your guys’ new thing. and he loves it

sometimes he’ll take a selfie of you asleep on his shoulder and he’ll stare at it for hours

hyunjae

the jokester

when i tell you that hyunjae is the opposite of younghoon

at first, he’s a bit more serious. of course he has his jokes, but he’d rather treat you with politeness

but once he figures out that he might have a crush!!! he kind of loses his mind

he knows that he’s not good at hiding his feelings, his blushing, his sweatiness, his everything

so how does he cover it up? jokes. very obnoxious jokes.

like bro will not leave you alone. of course, he never does anything downright mean, but he does enjoy teasing you

but always after the teasing, he’s completely genuine again

like if you dress up one day he’ll say “look who’s dressed up? trying to impress someone?”

and when you get bothered or flustered, he will give you a sweet smile and he’s quick to reassure you

“you look very nice today. im sorry” he will blush and laugh sheepishly

sometimes though, he gets a bit too much

like if he’s getting really really loud, all you have to do is lean closer to him

his eyes would widen and he will be quiet REAL fast (gotchu!!!!)

he will stutter and pull away and he will not talk for the next 30 minutes with how dazed he is

he gets dazed very often. if you laugh he’s in a trance. you smile and he’s smiling back with GOOGLY EYES (like how he does to chanhee LMAO)

juyeon

the clumsy one

he’s such a fool

like that’s just it

when it comes to him that he likes you, oh he doesn’t know how to act

and since he’s already clumsy, when around you he’s like 100x time clumsier

like if you guys are walking together and you laugh or smile, he’s so busy staring at you that he trips on the sidewalk

and then he has a bloody nose

and then he’s overthinking so much he’s like oh my god oh my god my crush hates me now

but once you reassure him that you still like him he will relax again. in fact he’s just too cute to resist

he definitely tries his best. sometimes he wants to get you something good to eat. he will spend so much money for you

and when he gives it to you, you’re allergic. nothing works out for him and he’s spiraling again

“i’m so sorry” he would whine. “i didn’t know”

“shh it’s okay” you would laugh. bonus points if you press a quick kiss to his hand and he will be stuttering forever

kevin

the natural lover

he is the most natural out of everyone. when he figures out why he’s been so nervous around you, he doesn’t actually change much

he’s still nervous but he isn’t going to fall down stairs for you or anything

but he is going to start giving gifts a lot more. like anything that reminds him of you he will be buying

especially his art!!!! (yk how much i love artist kevin)

like you know how artists don’t tend to draw other people when asked? if you ask him oh he will gladly oblige

he will have you posing so ridiculously and he will be drawing to the best of his ability

“you’re so focused that you’re tongue is poking out.”

he would laugh nervously “oh really? i just… want this to turn out good.”

and when he gives it to you it’s just so beautiful. like it’s so beautiful and colorful and it makes you wonder is this how he sees you??

okay so now he’s blushing. it’s his art what would one expect?!

but compliment his skills and he will definitely be giggling himself to sleep.

his sketchbook is full of you from every angle btw

chanhee

the moment capturer

chanhee seems to be a lot more somber about it

he’s genuinely not so sure if he would ever have a chance with you

so yk what he does?? he takes pictures

he loves to take pictures of other people with his camera

so when he realizes he has a crush, he will bring his camera with him whenever he’s with you

“smile.”

“you took like fifty pictures already!”

“never enough” he would stick his tongue out

he loves capturing you doing anything. eating, smiling, anything

and once at home, he will look through the pictures and laugh to himself about how nice you look

sometimes he’ll send some to you and you’ll tell him to delete them

he keeps them anyway

and at some point if you ever so leave him, at least he’ll have the memory

bro someone needs to tell him he has a chance

he’s so hopeless TT

like it isn’t the end of the world, he just needs to confess LMAO he's just scared

changmin

the runaway

when he realizes that he has a crush he will flee from you immediately

he’s afraid and doesn’t want to take it face on

so whenever you try to be near him, he will flinch away

he doesn’t want his feelings to interfere with you, he doesn’t want to bother you

but don’t worry!! as soon as you talk to him about it, he will be ALL OVER YOU in a second

though of course, he’s still a little bit more cautious then before, he puts more feeling behind his touch

he used to only hug you as a joke or to bother you

but now, he hugs you when his feelings are too strong

“wh-what are you doing?” you ask when he suddenly pulls you into a tight hug

HES SO ADORABLE he’ll just bury his face into like your shoulder and BLUSHHHH

“im just… happy with you.”

AWWWWWWW he becomes so genuine

same thing with holding hands. he used to grab it to pull you closer from a passing car. but now he does it because he believes your hands are cold without his

it’s summer time.

but don’t remind him

haknyeon

the treater

haknyeon’s love language is showing you all the places he enjoys

he already does this with you but that would be like a weekly thing

after realizing, oh boy it becomes a daily thing…

like everyday, he shows up at your place and is like

“let’s go i know a good ice cream place”

“it’s like 6 am”

“but there’s usually a long line there!”

he just loves treating you to things. when he treats you to food, he will watch with an adorable smile when you try out his recommendation

or when he takes you shopping, he will always give you compliments when you try on clothes

and after, he will buy it for you !!!!

no matter if it’s super expensive or not, he just wants to see you smile

when you catch onto the change in his behavior, he will not deny it

he will definitely be shy about it but eventually he will tell you the truth with a shy smile

sunwoo

the shy boy

ik that a lot of peoples impression is that when he likes someone, he will be a big flirter

but really he’s only flirty when he thinks of you as a friend OR when hes already dating you

in between, where he has a crush on you oh my god hes the shyest cutie youll ever see

like say he’s handsome and he cant breath for the next hour

or if you ever so smile he will be sitting next to you trying to hold in his giggle

“*covering his face with his hands* you’re so…. AGH” and you stare at him like he’s insane

you may be confused but it slowly becomes more and more obvious

like just test it out! grab his hand and he’s biting his lip so hard to hold in his smile

like once he was smiling so hard he fell backwards in his chair

he was MORTIFIED

eric

your best friend

this dude is genuinely the most confusing guy you’ll ever meet when it comes to feelings

like he has a crush on you but hes also a huge coward

so yk what he does

he friendzones himself

like BRO??

like if he does anything remotely romantic he will literally be like “oh this is what friends do!!”

like one time he literally kissed the top of your head

you ask why

“its because we’re best friends” HUH??

like no two bffs do that cmon bro fess up

but if you confront him he will never lie

hes not capable of lying hes like an honest puppy

so he will slowly begin to stop friendzoning himself

like when he intertwines fingers with you

now he says, “i enjoy being with you.” with the sweetest smile

[bl00dlight]

Question for the Culture...

Some thoughts on s2, Aemond needing mothers milk, alicole pussy rubbing, the Greens writing & characterisation.

After some consideration, I think the reason way the brothel scene is so jarring is because we've spent so little time with Aemond as a character, and S1 purposefully set up this very real mystique around him - espeically regarding duty, having disdain for Aegon's depravity (and literally being above it himself?) Etc, that we didn't get to see the process of what actually led Aemond there as a character. I actually do think it's because we are getting so few episodes that they are bypassing the very needed character progression that Aemond 10000% needs. It feels out of character because the show has set up a character which was exceedingly adverse to that behaviour. And you can feel the shift in his character, this season. To me he feels completely different, which shouldn't be the case just yet since like... Luke supposedly died only two weeks prior to the start of the season. We didn't get to see his progression into going from Alicent's #1 ride or die, to being her biggest hater? Nor did we see his progression into why he was even at the brothel? The leaks spoke about Aegon taking him to Cock Inn during B&C and well, we know that was the case because the Madam mentioned that. But? Why would they not show us that? Why would they not show us Aemond's progression into making that decision in the first place and the after effects leading him to returning back there? I think the scene was within his characterisation but like... not out of the blue. It felt like something we needed to see unfold. Because also, now all of his mystique is shattered. Like those are such STRONG choices to make him a milk drinking, fetal position, mummy's milkers ass bitch straight off the bat. Like??? Considering that two weeks ago he was like "Bro I am so much better than Aegon. I don't do that depravity shit. I'm dutiful, I should be King cause my brother is fucken gross and weak." Well? Okay... now Aemond is objectively grosser and weaker. Which was likely always the case, but it's something that should have been developed and revealed with time? They inadvertently destroyed the idea of his "mask" and his character being a massive antagonistic force that parallels Daemon. Because we've spent 10x more screen time with Daemon and we know underneath he is also fragile and vulnerable. We know that his dependence on Rhaneyra is significantly more complicated than it being about ambition. But it's not shown yet, he still actively is maintaining this incredibly antagonistic mask that makes him more elusive to the audience. We don't truly know his true intentions, his true vulnerabilities yet. So his actions come across as significantly more threatening, for all we know he could truly just be that malevolent while at the same time - we have seen glimpses which prove otherwise, that he is vulnerable and does desire love, comfort etc. But we don't quite know what that vulnerability truly is yet.

But with Aemond it's fucking beyond on the nose having him laying in an older woman's lap, drinking MILK and having his head patted while being cooed upon. Like okay so now we know exactly what the fuck is wrong with him. And he loses all complexity (currently) because we've not been shown the progression of this drastically opposing character choice. We've gone from a dude who was licking his lips at the sight of Daemon slicing and dicing Vaemond, who was posting up to his kid nephews and literally denouncing Aegon for his sexual depravity - to homeboy needing mummy's milk straight off the back, no inner conflict shown. It would've been nice to SEE him actually struggle with this level of vulnerability. It would've been nice to see his character unravel to the point where that scene didn't feel like I've just skipped several episodes of characterisation. And yall can say what you want, but I am right on this. It would've been far more compelling for them to keep his mystique for longer, to keep that vulnerability of his hidden and watch him struggle with it. Because now I know exactly what the fuck he is thinking, exactly what is wrong with him. There is no ambiguity left in his motivations nor whether or not his whole black leather edgy boy thing is a mask. Because now we know it's a mask, so all of his choices don't feel as.... threatening? They feel more like an angry teenage boy who needs a hug. Which is totally fine, but it's more intriguing if it weren't so explicitly shown to us that's what he is. I'd rather that be woven into his character and his of mask edgelord666 not be so suddenly stripped from him? Because now I know he isn't a raging psychopath, now I he isn't driven by his chaos. With Daemon, he still gives the impression he genuinely might be unredeemable. And that should be the case with Aemond.

And while we are here, I fucken hated the line of the brothel Madame reminding him of the smallfolk.

1) What authority does she hold over him to essential give him council or reprimand him on his behaviour. Why does she have the confidence to council him in the first place given she is in a position of vulnerability. That's the paradox, he could absolutely have her killed or hurt her and face zero consequences. So what gives her the security in knowing he wouldn't respond negatively to being counciled on the political repercussions of his behaviour? Why have they not SHOWED US their dynamic? Because I'm going into this knowing Aemond is about to commit mass genocide against the smallfolk? So unless that comment was just a throwaway liner to set that up, why would she feel compelled to be direct in that way? Why would Aemond a man who actively does not give a SHITTTTT about the lives of those below him, let a brothel Madame get away with saying that? And since he did let it slide, WHY???? Show us WHYYYY he would accept that advice?

2) If that line was used as a recalling to Aemond potentially feeling regret for the choices he is about to make, then just cut the cameras. Cause I think that would be an absolute waste of his characterisation. Everyone already feels bad about the smallfolk. They are really hammering it home. Even Otto gives a shit about them. The last person I want to see care is Aemond. Because it just doesn't make sense, why the fuck would he care? He has no reason to care given the role he plays in the war.

I want to use Cersei Lannister as a point that you don't need to implement a sense of societal empathy for your antagonist to have softness within them. Cersei is like number 1 bad bitch, doesn't give a fuck, is a number 1 hater and will straight up blow a bitch UP. But we see glimmers of softness with her children, with Jamie and even Margaery. And I think that just makes her so much more intriguing because we know something else resides within her other than malevolence but we the audience have to watch her go through the motions of it.

So far I've seen Aemond go through ZERO motions and I've seen the writers play their cards already. I hope I'm wrong. But we have 6 episodes left of s2. And so far, I've learnt so little about him as a character, while also knowing exactly what his core wound is.

I'm a tad worried for s2, and I'm a tad worried that the short season lengths are forcing the writers to speed up the way they allowed these characters to develop. There have been some incredibly strong ass moments, like Otto being THAT bitch and telling Aegon what's good. That was unbelievably incredible. Literally the entire scene between Daemon and Rhaneyra. IMPECCABLE character work, IMPECCABLE acting 10/10. Oh and everything Helaena at the moment is also beyond perfect. That funeral scene was harrowing.

But the downsides have been huge. To me, Aemond is drifting into a territory which is making me kinda not enjoy his character so much. Cause now I know what's good, he doesn't compell me right now. Knowing what lies beneath the surface isn't always a good thing, espeically given he has had like maybe 40 minutes of screen time overall in the series. And Alicole suffers the same fate. It was implied in season 1, 100000%, but uhhhhh its jarring because we never got to see HOW it unfolded. The process that lead alicent and criston into this very complex reltionship. It feels like they've been fucking for years, yet it's been like two weeks on canonically? Oh and having the green siblings not interact after B&C is diabolical. That is fucking lazy writing. Sorry. Because they haven't mentioned the fact Helaena has had neither Aegon nor Aemond acknowledge her. Which again, feels so fucking out of blue? It doesn't even have to be a whole process, it could've been one scene where one of them attempt to comfort her and fail because they fundamentally don't know how to display that level of kindness towards one another. It's that easy. Oh and Daeron? Fuck off. That was an ABYSMAL way to introduce him. Why does Otto need to remind Alicent that she has another son? What grandfather says "remember that third son you've always had and have forgotten about for the past 6 years? *wink, wink*" Like fuck off.

I think they are suffering from too many ideas all at one. And trying to rush major character arcs in order to get to the dance. But what makes GRRM writing and works so interesting and what made GOT (early seasons) so good was the fact they took time to develop the characters and show those lengthy discussions/character interactions. It's ABSOLUTELY insane we haven't seen the green siblings interact properly and may not at all. There is no reason for that, you can't put it down to "dysfunctional family dynamics" if you don't SHOW us the dysfunctional family dynamic and the siblings failing at communicating. B&C would've been the perfect time to show the audience WHY they can't comfort each other and HOW their family system has failed them. It's so deeply unbelievable to me and getting the actors justify it as it being a poor family dynamic is LAZY. Show the audience. Don't have your actors tell us.

[haekisses]

nct dream’s reactions to you ignoring them !

tw :: none i think! lmk if i missed any <3

MARK.

tears. OKAY, maybe not tears but ignoring him will make him take a step back n think about what he’s done. if it’s just a prank he’ll stare at you for a minute and contemplate what he’s done to deserve this, then he tries to play it off with a laugh when we all know he very much believed it.

if he’s actually done something wrong then he’ll leave you to lock himself up with his thoughts then he realizes he didn’t even acknowledge your presence today, so you did the same in return. he’ll probably say sorry throughout the day and try to subtly give you more attention as an apology + no more ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ name calling even if it is a habit & extremely tempting 😞

RENJUN.

sorry, but for like a good hour or two he doesn’t even notice, nor does he really care cause he’s always focusing on something else so your prank has failed terribly. when he does notice he realizes it’s a joke very quickly and just keeps focusing on something else which makes you break. he’ll just laugh at you and give you a hug for good measure.

but when we’re talking about a real heated situation? he’s not very confrontational and wants to fall into a hole when you don’t even try to look at him, he’ll be like “please yn i’ll do better” with the false tears and IT WORKS, every time!! renjun is a man w charm.

JENO.

he drops to his knees and will not leave you alone until you admit it’s a prank. jeno is so good at reading you that he just knows as soon as he looks at you but wants to play along really badly so he does, it doesn’t last long cause it’s meant to be your prank and he tries to make it his own. you give in and he’s just happy that he won.

jeno would immediately apologize even if he doesn’t know what he’s done, and that’s what makes you so upset most of the time. he knows exactly when to apologize but just not why he’s doing it so it kinda makes the apology seem insincere, he’s a quick thinker though so after a little while he’ll realize his mistakes and beg for forgiveness. jeno just laughs afterwards cause he looked so silly HE’S ALWAYS LAUGHING.

DONGHYUCK.

let’s be real, hyuck is probably the one doing the prank in this scenario, everyday he’s doing one thing or the other to annoy you so when you want his attention and he wants to mess around? boom. he’s just gonna ignore you with no reason for it whatsoever. you’ve learned to just stop trying until he gets tired n then he gets sulky ‘cause you didn’t want to pretend to be bothered.

oh hyuck’s following you around the whole day, he’s like jeno but just 10x more clingy. you could breathe next to him and he’d say “yn?? is that you speaking to me?” when he knows very well you were just completing an everyday action. he knows what he’s done wrong and he apologizes throughout the day but will not leave you alone for a good 2 days after you’ve ignored him, he says it’s to make up for the lost time.

JAEMIN.

he looks at you like you’re some sort of alien and rightfully so because how dare you try to prank jaem and get away with it?? being the kind soul he is, he probably does believe it and it makes you feel so bad that you just have to tell him that it was a prank. jaemin just sighs after being tricked and tackles you as revenge

jaemin can do no wrong this scenario doesn’t exist sorry. OKAY BUT WE CAN IMAGINE. if he did do some wrong (impossible) there would be no point in ignoring him because he’s already written a ten page essay on how sorry he is and how much he loves you, moving on to the next 🙏.

CHENLE.

oh chenle? he doesn’t care… like he just doesn’t, he’s literally worse than renjun. at first it’s because he thinks you’re just trying to be funny, he knows he hasn’t done anything wrong because it’s 11am, what could he have done? but then later he just knows your pranking him because you’re struggling to hold your laugh in when he glares at you so he chooses to ignore you too so you guys can be twins!

chenle doesn’t like using his words to say stuff cause it makes him feel awkward but in this case he can’t use actions to show he’s sorry or buy you something because that’s kinda worthless when words matter more, you know. so he wraps you in a massive hug and apologizes for what he’s done at least ten times to seal the deal n will not let go until you give up. another man of many charms 💯.

JISUNG.

he is confused. just straight up like ‘😧’ he don’t even know what to say to you like he’s just so awkward about it. but then he toughens up and tries to ask you what’s wrong, then he’s like ‘oh you’re ignoring me… i see’ and he just leaves. like that. n you’re like ‘wth??’ but then he comes back with your favorite food n just smiles at you. OF COURSE YOU GIVE IN, stop ignoring him please.

ooo the waterworks are coming watch out for the waterfall 💀JOKINGG, jisung only cries when he’s alone in his room watching frozen or something !! he definitely does the same exact thing as he does if you’re pranking him but this time he adds a few more things and gives you a massive handwritten apology (with terrible handwriting) to make sure you’re not angry at him anymore, it works.

requests are open !

[crippling-pages]

I need,, kotlc in Tam's pov. No offense to Sophie, but Tam's pov would be 10x more interesting and hilarious.

He's so freaking hilarious and funny; like imagine Keefe says a joke and internally Tam's like "DUDE when will this guy SHUT UP omg cmon"

and the sarcastic comments gyutfrd5ertfgyu idk who you are but we can all already that Tam's sarcasm is the best and I bet its a million times better in his head

Tam Cam guys!! Tam Cam would be there too!! like *sokeefe moment in front of everyone* Tam: BROOOOOOOOOOOO pleASE for the loVE OF MALLOWMELT just kISS alREADY!!!!!!!!

When Shannon finishes kotlc (if she ever does..), she should do a bonus series (or whatever its called) and rewrite the kotlc series in Tam's pov.

PLUS!!! We'd get so many extra deets,, we'd get him in the Neverseen, him and Linh in exilium, him and his childhood life, him and Linh moving into solreef, him and Biana working in the silver towers, candleshade, and everglen; him training with lady zillah, him after he returned from the Neverseen; LIKE SHANNON DO TAM'S POV PLZ

[foxsoulart]

Blorbo for Mystic Summons au, takes place after Leo loses his arm.

Leo opened his eyes, half-lidded and drowsy still. The world spun in a kaleidescope of blurred colors and shapes. He scrunched his eyes shut, tensed, and willed it to go away. It did. Gradually. Once the spinning and subsequent nausau stopped, Leo reopened his eyes and settled into his body. The crinkle of sheets under him and the shift of a blanket when he moved told him he was in a bed. Not his though if the scent and color choice said anything. Which it didn't literally but still.

The dimmed lighting either meant it was night or someone was worried about waking him.

Tilting his head to look on either side of him felt like a momentous task. Muscles aching in tandem with his brain fog. Geez, what did I do before this? Run a marathon or six? I am so tired.

To his left was the rest of the room. Which if his eyes would focus he could tell what that was, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

To the right was the door. And a slumbering figure in a chair that looked like it was dragged in from another room. Because, wow, that does not match the decor in here that I can see at all. I hope it is not normally in here. Otherwise I'm gonna need to have a talk with somebody.

After straining to pick out details with his still unfocused eyes for far too long, Leo gave up and closed his eyes with a sigh. Letting his head flop back onto the pillow with a thump. The motion jolted awake the guy in the, absolutely hideous, chair.

A grey sweatshirt over baggy worn blue jeans, long black hair pulled in a messy half pony, and startingly blue eyes.

Ah, I know this guy. Casey.

"Still a walking self-care disaster." Leo mumbled outloud, potentionaly unintentional.

Casey heard but elected to ignore that comment. He instead slipped around the end of the bed and checked Leo's pulse using his left wrist. Comparing and counting with a watch he was wearing.

The yokai scrunched his brow in confusion.

"Dude, you could have just done that with my right. Less work."

He lifted his right to wave it around to prove his point. Or tried to anyway.

He was met with the sensation of.....nothing. He felt his shoulder move, but nothing after that. Feeling just.....ended. Leo's beak twisted in further confusion, his mind on the brink, the precipice of remembering something important, of clearing his fuzzy head.

Casey was saying something but Leo wasn't paying attention, too preoccupied with the mystery of why his right arm wasn't responding. He turned his head and lifted it to see better, ignoring his body's aching protests. What he saw...was nothing. A small bit swathed in white bandages extended a little past his shoulder. But that was it. His arm just ended. It wasn't there.

What. Why isn't...

Then the brain fog cleared and let the memories come crashing back in.

The glint of metal, the all consuming burning pain, a horned face cruel and cold.

Horrible re-realization and panic pulled him into a sitting position, lurching up. His left arm held onto his shoulder, feeling the absence of that arm. He hunched forward, eyes blown wide, pupils pinpricks, his breathing shook and convulsed in his chest. Tears fell unbidden. He leaned forward pulling his knees up to grind his forhead on. His whole body tensed, fingers and toes curling in, then released inone long shuddering breath.

"I'm never going to see a triceratops the same again, am I?"

".....No." Casey said, remorseful. The experience had already been ruined for him, but it must be 10x worse for Leo and his brothers.

".....Cool." It wasn't. "My favorite was brachiosaurus anyway." Leo tried to joke. Emphasis on tried.

He really needed a better coping mechanism. But laughter was supposed to be the best medicine right? Too bad his laughter died deep in his chest. And dang, the tears just wouldn't stop. No matter how hard he tried. So he dropped his resistance and let them flow. He just lost his entire freaking arm, facade be damned.

This felt better that holding it back anyway.

Leo was a quiet cryer, quieter that even Donnie(who wasn't as quiet as he thought himself) He didn't sob loudly, it was just silent anguish. Over time his brothers figured this out and learned how to tell. Leo would say he preffered to cry alone if it wasn't a lie, he absolutely hated it. It was just so hard to take that first step. Once he started, moving anywhere by himself was out of the question; he just couldn't.

Leo had curled further into himself. The solitary arm hugging his knees to his chest had him crying harder.

Now a Leo from another time might be thinking himself selfish for crying over his arm before making sure his brothers were okay; but those same brothers had drilled into his brain (and their own) that if no one was dying right that second, to take care of himself first. They were all still working on that, but they were working on it.

Casey was panicing.

"Um, it's okay. I'll uh I'll go get your brothers? Would that help?" I have no idea what I'm doing.

Every action was faltering, not sure what would help or make it worse. He moved toward the door, deciding to find someone else who would know what to do, at least more than he did.

Leo noticed Casey leaving and was clutched by fear, he hated crying alone.

"Don't leave!" was choked out past his tears in desperation.

The utter and absolute panic in the slider's eyes told Casey that the best course of action would be to stay. So he did. His hand lifting off the doorknob to hang awkwardly at his side. Casey came back around to sit back down in the chair Leo had first seen him in.

"I won't." He promised.

Leo sagged in relief. Silence only broken by shuddering breathes settled over the room. Surprisingly the atmosphere was not negative.

Casey was still uncertain if he should be doing something more, so he fidgeted nervously. Carefully studying Leo when he sat back up, wiping away his remaining tears with his remaining hand, sniffling.

"Do you....um.....do you want a hug?"

For Casey a hug always made him feel better after crying.

Leo looked surprised by the offer but recovered quickly, smiling softly and shy. "Sure, I'd love one."

Casey stood and leaned over, wrapping his arms around Leo. He gave his best, most comforting hug he could, mindful of Leo's injuries.

It reminded Leo of Raph's hugs. Of a big brother. Of warmth and safety. It wasn't nearly as crushing and all-encompassing, but it was still absolutely amazing and exactly what he needed.

[tonberry-yoda]

Gojo headcanons because I'm bored out of my mind and wanna kiss him real bad

he's my stinky lil man (slightly suggestive warning)

can will and has stolen your underwear. whether it be a lacy bra, thong, or boxers, it doesn't matter, he will steal it and wear it

^ he has also done this before y'all got a little spicy and it totally ruined the mood

smells really good. like.... really good. this makes him 10x more huggable than he already was

he steals your hoodies to leave his scent on them dfkjdskjlf

^ you don't mind tho tee hee

sobs during movies. either that or passes out. really depends

don't let this man in a kitchen. just trust me.

doesn't know what a "date" is, so he will either hang out with you in his house or take you skydiving

^ so when you finally ask to just go out for a nice dinner he's like.... oh, okay

snores like a dad

^ but weirdly it's comforting and helps you sleep better?

will whisper in your ear about how much he loves you

^ I think his love language is words of affirmation, so he would love to just tell you how much you mean to him

^ he does cry sometimes when he does this (especially during... y'know)

cried during the Barbie movie and said "Ken is literally me"

sucks at Mario Kart

his hair is SO SOFT OMFGGGG

^ on that note, he loves when you run your fingers through it

loves when you call him pretty names tee hee

is stinky when you call him pretty

can never finish an anime

^ you ask him to start one so you can geek out with him, but he just gets through like 2 episodes and stops

^ but then he always says that he liked it and you're like.... dude, you didn't even get to the story

wishes he had a pet bunny

can climb trees and used to love it as a kid. so on that note, you will look away for a second and turn back to find Gojo in a tree

^ he definitely brags about this huge scar he has on his knee from climbing a tree when he was like 6

he hates using you to tell his emotions to, so it's rare when he does, but when he does, he is a sobbing mess and he nonstop apologizes for "ruining your day"

is really cozy to sleep on

fake proposes to you all the time, so when he actually does, you don't believe him at first dfskljskjdfkjdsf

~~~~~

jjk masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[mochiimadness]

Hey, I dunno if your still taking requests but I have one!

What about s/o having hair like Entrapta's from She-Ra? I would love to see how they would react to their s/o with that!

Hello, I'm sorry for the long wait! I'm finally getting around to answering old requests, before opening new ones.

I haven't seen She-Ra, but I did look Entrapta up, so I hope I haven't gotten anything wrong!

Neon Leon

Leo is both insanely fascinated over your hair-

But also, very very terrified at first.

Remember when Leo wore that blond wig that ended up being completely and utterly evil??

Leo does.

Leo has flashbacks of this when he first sees you using your hair to grab a mug off the counter that was just out of hands reach.

May or may not have screamed.

"S/o, I don't mean to freak you out but- YOUR HAIR IS CURSED!"

"What- wait no it's just-"

"Don't worry- I got this!" he says, as he whips out his sword

Cue panicked screaming from everyone in the room as Leo attempts to 'save' you

He really thought you were in danger okay-

After managing to convince Leo to not chop off your hair,

You have to explain to him that your hair isn't actually cursed by some weird dude looking to steal stuff

"I was born like this, I can just make my hair move and stuff."

Cue Leo's suspicious squinting.

He does believe you! He just cant help peaking around corners detective style to spy on your hair at first.

Once he gets use to it tho, he's got to admit, having hair you can use to grab things jussst barely out of reach is amazing!

His jaw drops when he realizes you can fight using your hair too-

Your hair wraps around a rather slippery warthog mutant and launches him several feet away

Leo is staring in shock and possible fear

They'd been trying to get a hold on that mutant for ages, and you just managed to grab him no problem???

And launch him like a soft ball???????

Mad respect

Enchanted/cursed hair or not, Leo's just glad it's not using you for evil!

Plus, you seem to be having fun, so he's cool with it now.

Don Tron

Donnie's insanely curious about your hair

Absolutely runs some tests and experiments (with your permission ofc)

He's seen you lift mugs and smaller objects-

But what's the weight limit???

Is it like a muscle that can be trained to lift more over time????

Is it possibly sentient?!

You let him come up with new theories

But as soon as the conspiracy board and red strings come out,

You're lifting him with your hair and carrying him away for a break.

He loves when you help him out in the lab

Using your hair to grab and hold tools or parts

It's similar to using his spider arms, but 10x better since it's his s/o helping him.

Your hair also inspires him to make a different version of his spider arm battle shell-

This one using a more fluid movement to match your hair!

He lowkey looks like Doc Oc...

Villains do their best to avoid you both

Having one person who can grab and yeet them away was bad enough-

But now there's two??????

They are sprinting as fast as they can

Not fast enough though!

You're able to use your hair to grab and swing from walls, catching up to villains with ease

Donnie's impressed, you didn't even need a tracking device!

You two also found out another trick you could do,

You're able to use your hair as a extra set of arms- so you both came to a realization

You could use your hair to hold more controllers.

You two need an extra player???

Bam, you're holding two more controllers

Donnie cackles manically every time you two score extra points using this method

Is it technically cheating????

Maybe

You can't deny it takes a lot of skill and practice to do though, so who cares?

Not you and Donnie, that's who!

Mystic Mike

:0 !!!

Your hair can move?!?!

Please please show him what you can do!

Absolutely loves seeing all your tricks

From lifting a mug, to scaling a building-

He thinks you and your hair are awesome!!

One day, he's literally in the middle of talking to you when he interrupts his own sentence in a huge realization-

"So then I chased them down on the shells hogs and- WAIT WAIT HOLD THE PHONE-"

"Holding."

"NOW ANSWER IT!"

"Hellooo?"

"You can use your hair to paint!!!!"

Cue both of you jumping up and sprinting to his room

You can, in fact, use your hair to paint!

Whether it be using your actual hair as a paintbrush,

Or holding multiple brushes and items at once!

It makes art time ten times more efficient- but also extremely chaotic

Sure, now you both have easy access to art materials, but now your hair can literally spin everything

The guys entered the living room one day and saw it absolutely covered in buckets of paint

You are now banned from holding stain causing items in the common areas and Donnie's lab.

When you two go fight together

Mikey quickly learns that you can use your hair to help climb and scale buildings

Which leads to you crawling upside down on a ceiling at full speed, with Mikey floating beside you, at enemies

There are high pitched shrieks whenever you join the battle

You may or may not be a local cryptid now.

"S/O, they're calling you a spider mutant!"

"Nice."

Big Red

Like Leo,

Raph also thinks your hair is alive

Though, he's more concerned than fearful

If your hair is alive, then should he ask it if he can pat your head??

You reassure him that your hair is not alive or sentient

He's still wary about it though

Definitely gives it suspicious looks when you're not looking just to test it

When you catch onto this though, you start moving your hair 'without your knowledge' just to play around

Raph shrieks

"I KNEW IT!!!"

You'll have to explain that you were just pranking him lmao

He does realize that your hair isn't alive eventually though.

Is genuinely impressed by what your hair can do

Especially when he realizes you can lift heavier objects too

If you're able to lift him with your hair, he'll scream

Definitely has a fanboy moment

"WHAT!? How is it so strong?!?"

Even if you can't lift him with your hair,

He's still impressed!

Throughout the day, you'll use your hair to grab things that are out of reach and hand it to him

Usually it's subconscious,

Like when he just barely got into a comfy spot after a long patrol and realizes his phone is just out of reach

You grab it and hand it to him offhandedly

Or when he's sleeping and the blanket slips off, you'll reach around to pull it back up and make sure he's covered

He appreciates these little gestures so much

Absolutely warms his heart and makes him a little misty eyed.

During battle,

He sees you literally form a fist shape with your hair and deck a rather aggressive yokai right in the face,

Sending them flying down the street

Raph will stop and stare in awe

"Woah!! S/O that's amazing!"

He's so proud of you

Then he realizes the hidden city police are making their way towards the two of you

Cue both of you hauling it towards the nearest portal

"GO GO GO!"

"I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!"

Hey everyone, I'm going through my old requests and writing them. I can't promise I'll get to all of them, but I'll do my best when I have time!

Sorry for the huge wait, life got crazy

[tohisprettyc00l]

celebrating your birthday

A/n: It's nowhere near my birthday but whatever

Amity: It's been a while since she's had a real birthday party. She used to get mager ones when she was friends with Boscha. In retrospect that was probably to impress Boscha's parents. But enough about all that it's your big day. And with money (that she totally didn't steal from her mom) she wants to make sure that you have a great birthday. She takes you to any store you want. And then gets you your favorite food.

Luz: She loves birthday parties so much!!! She goes all out. There's a bunch of decorations. And if you like having more people there, all of her friends are there. Which we know is a fucking lot. If you don't want a lot of people that's okay. She buys your favorite cake. You only turn whatever age your turning once. And now I've at least alluded to Boscha two more times than I thought I would.

Willow: She's never been one that likes big crowds. And no matter how many people are on your part she'd feel kind of awkward. So she hosts a party that's just the two of you. On the plus side, it's more special. Also, her dads make you a cake <3.

Hunter: The FUCK is a birthday? Yeah, I think I've made it clear the Empoer's coven and the Empoer himself suck. Like doesn't even know what that word means. But once he finds out he's determined to give you a good one. Despite never being to or having one himself. And it's very all over the place, You have no cake but do have ice cream. Not sure how he managed to mess up the biggest part of the birthday. He's trying okay? Also the number of gifts he good you was absurd.

Vee: She kind of knows what birthdays are. A few kids had them at camp (Which was probably sad as fuck.) So while the general decorations are kinda dull. The gifts are great! Most (affordable) things you want you get. Though there are a few oddballs in there. Like she just got you a straight-up weapon.

Raine: Pretty good birthday. The happy birthday song is 10x more awkward. Because they have a beautiful singing voice. Thankfully they also are an awkward mess when it comes to stuff like that. So they probably won't sing it (if you don't when them to.) All of the gifts they get you are sweet.

Eda: Never trust Eda to throw a party, worst mistake of my life. There are so many different shows and gamed-themed plates it's insane. The presents don't make any sense. Like a book about how to get better at abominations, while your human ass is just sitting there confused as fuck. She starts laughing and then just straight up gives you 250 snails.

Emria: She bakes the cake herself (and almost burns the house down.) She's not great at the whole planning the party thing. But it is still an enjoyable experience! While the wrapping job might have been so bad that you could see the gifts, said gifts were still great. Is her lacking ability in making birthday parties just a her thing or is her mom also at the core of this? I don't know, you decide.

Edric: Dude was stressed. He wanted it to be perfect! But, just like his siblings, he had no clue what to do. I mean he'd had birthdays, but he's not known for excelling. And with his mom being Odaila there was no chance of him getting a proper birthday. Cue the googling! The birthday isn't very extravagant, despite his wealth. But it is a fun time. He did end up getting pin the tail on the donkey. So that's pretty fun.

The Collector: Any chance to throw a party is a chance he'll take! And it was about you? That's twice the fun. He can make you the biggest cake with just a snap of his finger, not sure how good it would taste but that's beside the point. Also, the presents are great, obviously. You guys have stereotypical "girls" birthday parties. You have a slumber party, eat pizza, play truth or dare, and stay up all night.

Lilith: She probably wouldn't do anything major for your party. A slice of a cake and a small gift or two. It's not that she doesn't care about you, she does a lot! She doesn't really celebrate her birthday. (Sorry boys it's not angst this time I just don't think she likes celebrating her birthday.)  That being said, if you want a bigger party she's not totally against the idea. But the only people she has the confidence to ask are Hooty, Luz, and Eda (King probably tagged along.) It's pretty hectic, as all things with the owl family are, but it's honestly the best birthday you've had.

Gus: Gus is almost the biggest overachiever out there (second only to Hunter.) So he's more than excessive. He takes all his past parties and parties he's been to and combines them into one big party. He invited Willow over to make sure it looked okay (bless her and the crap she has to deal with.) She tells Gus in the nicest way possible that you'd probably have a heart attack from all the colors. She quickly helped him fix everything up. When you do come over it's overall presentable. It's a far cry from what Gus had planned but it is chill.

[jawllines]

adding to the anon who said about the famous actor,, what if instead of y/n’s favorite actor it’s an upcoming and famous chef!! 👀👀 like that would make it 10x better!! like Harry is a chef and then like this dude is also a chef and he’s flirting with his y/n!! and complimenting her food!! 🤩🤩

OMGDOFMGDOFMGOG STOP ACTUALLY THIS IS PERFECT HE'D BE SEETHING

[eggsaladsandwhic]

Vash Headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

Follow my previous posts about the Poly Knives x OC x Vash CollegeAU fic I'm doing so here's some ideas I gotta dump.

SFW/General

Ecology Major vibes, is also getting an Ethics minor

Hates chemistry with a burning passion

Makes a lot of friends, but only hangs out with a few so he doesn't overwhelm himself

Nurodivergent Vash!

(He/They)! Or (They/them) either works

Doing a stem degree while having ADHD and anxiety sucks so much but Vash thrives in it somehow

College has really been flaring up his plant traits lately, has to call Rem or talk to Nai on the weekly for help (Though Nai just keeps telling him to stop repressing it)

Has to wear long sleeves or hoodie a lot to cover up the feathering leaves that pop out.

Vash doesn't realize it but it's anxiety that's causing it, but Nai started lending him some compression shirts and so it's gotten better

BUFF DADBOD VASH (this idea possess me)

He's gotten better with dealing with stress and no longer resorts to starving himself

GOES TO THERAPY(one of these twins gotta do it)

Between Nai's cooking, drinking on the weekends, and the amount of donuts this dude can eat he's living his best life

Works out when he gets the time and bowls competitively

Wants a significant other (Mates for life) but it's so hard, especially when starts thinking about the fact he's not human

Has a fear of having someone he really loves and then them finding out he's a plant and reacting negatively. Vash thinks Nai and him would likely have to move back to the facility with Rem. He doesn't want to uproot the lifestyle him and his brother have

Gets a little depressed about it, but is really good with having a support group on standby

Gets hit on at bars a lot but it always flys over his head or they're too pushy about it.

Wolfwood sets him up with dates once in a blue moon but it goes horrible or the girls just don't like him for more than his looks

Physical touch is this man's love language and he just wants someone he can lean on

Add someone who likes doing domestic activities?? Y'all are going to the courthouse next week

Wants to just curl up next to someone even platonically at this point

Has an agreement with Nai sometimes that they sleep in the same bed like when they were kids (Nai always grumbles about it but sleeps better that night anyway)

Nsfw Below 👇

OH SHIT OH FUCK

(NSFW)

So I did some research today and did y'all know that wild purple geraniums have a tendency to be Hermaphrodites

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Vash is a dual package (living the dream ong)

Plantussy and Plantdick combo meal

So I imagine that his dick would sit above his vulva and vagina? Testes would likely be internal (genuinely trying to form an anatomy basis I'm actually looking at a diagram rn)

As for his female organs I'd say he consented to a hysterectomy because it was causing growth issues (post op sucked but he figured it out)

Took testosterone for awhile until everything was functional

Became a lot more sexually comfortable with himself after this

6.5in prehensile tentacle dick, bumpy rounded ridges on the sides and little more on the girthy end

Has more of those downy soft petals that unfold during sex, and dick likely has a sheath because it's more fleshy (kinda like the inside of your mouth)

Hyperspremia and leaves a mess everytime he jerks off, squirts a lot too (probably got a dedicated bath towel at this point)

He has fucked himself with his own dick and usually prefers to

Owns quite a few sex toys and likes to experiment around a little bit

Goes from a Fleshlight, a regular dildo, has a couple fantasy ones, and anal and prostate toys

High sex drive, but can cum pretty quick (short recovery period, usually goes 3 rounds but can do more)

Rut is 10x worse too you'd be lucky to make it to the fridge

Makes sperm plugs during rut

SWITCH VASH(still a virgin though)

Desperate sex kinda guy, gets pussy drunk or cock dumb so easily, folds like a chair no matter what

Make him unfurl his wings out it means he trusts you so much

Please go down on him and absolutely devour him

Very sweet though and would definitely check in a lot (check in with him too it makes him feel fuzzy)

Has a sex awareness to not hurting you accidentally, during rut he's very nervous about it

Aftercare King (loves to shower or take a bath after)

More of a hickey giver than a biter

Usual kinks: Breeding, Pegging, Overstimulation, Cum play, cockwarming, Oral, Praise, Hair-pulling

Unusual: Blindfolding, Shibari(both ways around), Begging, wants to be degraded a little bit

Jesus my brain went wild there, I was doing research for some of this shit. Was supposed to be doing Geochemistry homework but this happened ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Anyways gn y'all I got a 9am.

[donnieisonfire]

Dan from Law,

Phil from Media & Editing

Hey!! Welcome back yall, chap 5 of this shit show is on the roll. As usual, reblogs & likes are so so so appreciated THIS is the BRAND NEWWWW masterlist of the chapters of this fic! And, this, is the AO3 link! AO3 is updated more often as it is 10x easier to get readers and 10x quicker to upload to. Still love tumblr tho. Tags and fanfic under the cut! <3 srry this is so short, i made it @ college break and my lunch

TAGS : Dan being a hoe (not with Phil, WAIT YOU GREEDY PEOPLE...next chapter, goddamnit), Dan cringe-texting a dude, SMUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!2!’qnqnqnqnnq, sad danny boy, but hey, isnt every chap of this just sad danny boy?

Dan sat up reluctantly. Saturday, finally. Now Dan can be incredibly irresponsible and not have as many repercussions, like, y’know, getting fired. That wouldn’t be fun. Because, then, how would he spend 10 minutes stirring a coffee by the off chance that Phil might show up?

‘Phil probably goes to costa everyday, Dan, he’s better than you, he doesn’t want a man, let alone a man like you.’

His mind would stop, all since fucking last night. He needs all memories of last night gone, he needs a shower, to delete Grindr and delete Jack’s number. He needs Phil.

He grabs his phone, as his phone was closer than his puny bathroom (by a few steps..), and goes to the phone app, sending a ‘Thanks’ to Jack before deleting and blocking his number. He goes to Grindr, trying to hold down on the app to delete it, but accidentally pressing on the icon. Fat thumbed bitch.

His eyes, by pure body-autopilot, scan the screen.

‘P :D’

A profile, named with Phil’s initial, had ‘tapped him’, which is the Grindr equivalent of poking on facebook. Grindr, at this point, was basically facebook for horny gay men.

He had to indulge, just a bit, let his mind hope, spur, that maybe, just maybe, that was Phil. His Phil, the Phil he’s fisted his dick over so hard his world stopped momentarily, the Phil who’s name he almost moaned out as he got dick from a hookup he used to *forget* about Phil. Maybe he had a chance.

He pressed on the profile. The photos are all faceless, with a photo of a dog, presumably his. (Aren’t dog pics just the queer equivalent of a straight dude holding up a fish on a tinder?)

Great, anonymous bastard.

The profile says ‘Relationships, Chat’ under his photo, next to ‘Vers Top’. Great, if this was Phil, he didn’t even want to fuck. If this was Phil, then he wanted Dan and Dan’s biggest fear — commitment.

Still, a top though.

Dan scrolls to his bio, scrolling past the basic information.

‘Hi :D If you’re interested (or i am!) please be able to hold up a conversation. Down for a coffee anytime’

Simple bio. Pleb.

Underneath the bio was ‘HIV: Negative, Last tested October’, perfecto. ‘Meet at? Coffee shop, my house, your house’

Again, if this was Phil, he’d already ticked one of those off, and Phil had already asked him out for the coffee.

The fire emoji was red hot, showing that Dan’d been tapped by the profile, but he (and his fight or flight response) already knew that. There was a little red circle next to the ‘Chat’ sensor.

Dan reluctantly presses it, mentally preparing himself for it *not* to be Phil (which was very likely) and for it just to be a simple ‘Hi’ from a stranger with a ��P’ name.

‘Hey, Dan from Law :) Fancy seeing you here 🐗'

1st of all, Dan’s brain had now — officially — short circuited. 2nd of all, once he had returned to Earth, he wondered what the fuck was up with the warthog emoji.

Dan’s fingers moved before his brain did, ‘fancy seeing you here to you too 🦁' he typed.

Dan’s brain was focused on the fact his name on this damn app was fucking DownToFuck. Phil was on this app looking for a relationship, and Dan was here looking for a dick poked up him. Well, hopefully more than poked.

Typical. Fucking typical.