#and it will make you lose your faith in humanity so fast

[lananiscorner]

Picking up on the question from pixeljade earlier in the reblog chain about where exactly in the bible it says not to swear.

I can't give you the exact citation, but I remember this coming up in the videos of a pastor I follow on tiktok (knothead9620). Now I usually stay as far the fuck away as I can from organized religion, because in my personal experience, religion + even a modicum of political power NEVER ends well, but this dude is actually a very reasonable, kind, supportive clergy member who is very good at reconciling what the book from thousands of years ago actually says with the modern situation of our 21st century society. I encourage all of you to check out his stuff, if you need an example of how that's done or just if you're queer and you'd like to have a religious authority figure call you a beautiful and beloved child of god instead of an abomination, for a change.

Anyway, when the topic of bad language came up, he pointed out the passage that is used by religious folks as the most relevant clause for justification and while I don't remember the exact verbiage (which also changes depending on which translation of the bible you read!), it was basically along the lines of "don't use language that befouls things or people--use only language that uplifts each other".

Now, as knothead9620 rightfully pointed out in that video, you can befoul something with perfectly "safe", non-vulgar language. If you call queer people shameful abominations who deserve to go to hell for their vulgar, immoral and sinful behavior, then you have not used any coarse language, but you have befouled an entire group of people. Meanwhile, if you say "buddy, I don't care if you're queer, you're still my goddamn friend and a fucking amazing human being", then you may have used naughty, naughty no-no words, but you used them to uplift someone, you used them for positivity, to express your love for your neighbor and support them, and as such, you were more in line with the actual spirit of the book, than the person in the preceding example.

Hope that helps.

remember how profanity was made out to be the worst thing in the world when you were a kid and then when you grew up everyone was like "just kidding, nobody actually cares, we were just doing that so we could yell at you"

[onskepa]

Yay requests are open!

What about a platonic Ronal x scientist? Yes they study the planet but ronal cannot help but like them because they respect the culture, her medical skills and only seems to find the silver lining in her stiff comments. Like come on human I am trying to make you leave through the power of rude and you just gave me a freidnship bracelet? Wtf I imagine tonowari just snickering every night as she complains about her new best friend

Hellooooooooo darling~!!

Yes! Another ronal fic! Thank you for requesting and I hope this cute fic will satisfy you and everyone else! Enjoy~!

Irayo pt2

-------------

Irayo

“You are good to go, if anything goes wrong or if they are not very welcoming, just say the word and we will get you” the head director of the ocean na’vi program says. In front of him was the new girl. Determined and open minded to learn new things, and was given the ultimate task. 

Make the first human contact with the reef na’vi. 

Nodding in excitement, the new recruit gets into a canoe with her prepared items. Making sure she is set for sail, she looks at her comrades. “I will let you know everything. Hopefully, this can go well. If doctor Agustine has faith in us, we can't lose” she says with optimus in her voice. 

Saying her last farewell, she sets off to the Metkayina island. 

“This will be good, I can feel it!”

She arrives at the island, her eyes in awe as she gets closer to the shore. So many na’vi! They all stare at her, many in fear, others in curiosity, and many ready to fight her. Raising her hands, she gets out from her canoe and displays she is of no harm. 

“I come in peace, I bring no harm” the human girl announces in perfect, fluent na’vi. 

Many, from what she suspects are warriors, stare at her in surprise. 

“You are a sky demon! Leave or we will not be easy on you!” one of the warriors warned her. Another warrior follows after. 

“We heard what you did with the forest na’vi, leave! You only bring death and sorrow wherever you go”. 

The tension was building fast among the other people. Mothers protecting their children, might warriors standing in front of the weak. Any wrong move and she might end up dead. Which is a high factor. 

The crowd breaks as two significant looking na’vi walks through, from how they are dressed and the others willing to step aside, the human knew exactly who they were. 

And it gave her excitement. Already the first and she is seeing so much! 

The human was quick with the traditional na’vi greeting of “I see you”. In hopes that the tension can lessen if she displays their ways. 

The Tsahik and Olo’eyktan looked at her carefully. Observing her every move and detail. Small hint of disgust but also confusion as to why a human is here. 

“Hello, I bring no harm. I am here to learn your ways. Allow me to prove myself to you, perhaps you have heard of the dark stories of what the humans did to other na’vi, but I promise you that I only bring peace. Please, teach me your ways”. 

Ronal doesn't know what or how or even why. But after a lengthy discussion with Tonowari, they granted the human permission to enter their home. And learn their ways. As best a human can learn. While Tonowari was more loose on letting the human in, Ronal felt different, at first she came defensive and was always on alert should the human do something that seems bad under her eyes. 

But the human was aware where the line drew, only did what she was allowed to and dared not to push boundaries. Ronal wasn't making it any easier for the human. None whatsoever. In fact, Ronal planned to make things so difficult for the human that she would have no other choice but to leave. 

Now if only it worked that, and not Ronal making it harder for herself. 

 “Put more strength in your arms. It must be thinned out and easy to separate. Any thicker and it will be difficult to mix” Ronal instructed the human with a harsh tone. She was teaching the human how to make crushed, thin, dust-like green material. Very dry leaves that were thoroughly picked from their small forest.

The human woman smiled and obeyed, “alright tsahik”. Doing exactly what she is being told. That is the thing that irks ronal. The human doesn't fight back. She doesn't do anything! 

“A child can do a better job than you,” Ronal says with a snarky tone. The human just takes it, “I don't doubt it. This is more of their ways” the human replies with such calmness in her voice. Not a hint of anger, impatience, nothing. 

“Dont think this will be enough, there is still much more to grind down” Ronal says, as she places a lot more dried grass in the already big pile. The human stops for a few seconds to look at the bigger addition. Ronal smirks, surely this will be it? “Guess I better grind faster to finish all of these” the human says in glee and continues to grind. 

Ronal’s smirk left her lips, fine then. Tomorrow will be worse. 

Harsher insults, harsher training, harsher practice. Ronal threw everything at the human, but nothing breaks the human girl. And it infuriates her to the core. Why wasn't she fighting back? Why was she accepting everything? Why was she letting ronal belittle her? 

Ronal’s anger grew to where Tonowari had to enterfier. 

“Ronal, perhaps you are pushing her too far?” he asks her one day. Ronal scoffs as she does her small tasks in their home. “The human can bare it. Anything I give her, she accepts. That utter fool” she replies. Annoyance heavy on her tone. “She won't break so easily. Not made of sea glass” she continues. 

Tonowari sighs, walks up to her and places a hand on her shoulder. “Perhaps not, but your tolerance is thinner than these fibers. Perhaps by surprise, it will be you who will break first”. 

The human began to make and wear her na’vi like clothing to fit in more. And as she talked more with the other clan members, more began to welcome her with open arms and even into their homes. Adapting more into their culture and ways of life. They began to accept her. 

Ronal wasn't so ready to accept the human. 

Not yet at least. 

One night, after the communal dinner, Ronal took the human away from the noise and into a more quiet part of the small forest. Yet, along the way, the human not once asked where they were going. Never questioned ronal’s actions, her odd behavior. Nothing. 

When they arrived at a beautiful blue glowing waterfall, Ronal kept a bit of distance from the human. 

“Tell me human, why do you accept?” Ronal asks after a few minutes of silence. 

The human blinked once, “accept what tsahik?”. 

Hissing in frustration, Ronal turns to look at the human in anger. 

“Why do you accept everything?! I keep pushing you to do beyond what you physically can. Accept any insulting word I give you. Force you to do things clearly you are not very comfortable with. Why do you accept my harsh treatment towards you?” 

The human sees Ronal and sees how she truly feels. Taking a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders, the human does what she does best. 

Give her an honest smile. 

“You have every right to treat me that way. While I am not personally responsible for the thousands of killings of the na’vi, I still feel ashamed and guilty as if it were my own crimes. My kind has treated your kind terribly. So, I understand if you feel any anger or hatred towards me for simply being human. But I accept, I accept it all. If it means to be part of your world, your clan. I would gladly accept anything you throw at me. This is a dream come true for me. This planet, the life it holds. The environments, plants, animals, you. I love and respect everything about your world. All I desire is to learn how things are. From learning about Eywa to learning of the na’vi ways. My only desire is to learn. To have you personally teach me, it is a high luck I could never get anywhere else. So that is why I accept all that you give me. A price to pay for the things I can see and experience. So Tsahik, that is why I accept it. As my way to thank you” 

Ronal saw the human, looking deep into her eyes to detect any lies, but all she saw was the truth. 

“You fool…”

“Irayo, just in time for breakfast” Ronal welcomes her human friend. Irayo, that is what Ronal calls her ever since that night. It's been stuck to her ever since, not that she plans to defy the tsahik wishes. 

Irayo sits in the home of ronal and tonowari. Accepting the food, she begins to eat. But not soon after, she felt a little tug from her wrist. Looking down, Irayo sees little tsireya playfully tugging at her bracelet. Taking it off, she hands it to tsireya who tries to bite down on it. 

“Has tsireya began teething?” Irayo asks, ronal nods but gives a disapproving look.

“She will rip off the beads. You worked so hard to make it for us” Ronal says as she points to her own matching bracelet. Irayo laughs, “that is fine. It will give me an excuse to make better friendship brackets for us. I will even make another for cute little tsreiya” Irayo replies as she playfully pinches tsireya’s chubby cheeks, making the child squeal in delight. 

Tonowari sits down to join them. 

“Today irayo and I will attend to the elderly, tsireya will be under your care until noon” Ronal says to him. 

Tonowari nods, but couldn't help but smirk a bit. Leaning in, he whispers into Ronal’s ear. “Your friendship with irayo has improved greatly. I still remember when you called her many foolish names”. 

Ronal rolls her eyes and taps his forehead lightly. 

“I recall no such things. Irayo has been my good friend from the start”

Aaaaaaaaand that is all for this one! I hope you all enjoyed this fic! Until next time, see ya!

-------

Irayo = Thank you

[with-my-calamitous-love]

LOSS OF MY LIFE

chuuya x reader

chuuya questions his humanity while you’re on your deathbed.

inspired by loml

he wished he never knew you.

at least then, he wouldn’t have the feeling of knowing you, knowing every part of you, but not having you around.

it all happened so fast. one wrong mission. one wrong move. one wrong mistake that should’ve landed on chuuya- but costed you everything. he should have seen the attack coming, but he didn’t. why didn’t he? the one time chuuya nakahara fucked up, it fucked you over instead.

it should have been me. he thought.

he’s lost track of time. he knows he has work to return to, stacks of paper on his desk. his stomach growls and his throat is parched for water. his eyes yearn to close, wanting to sleep. but he can’t. you’re not there to keep him company in his otherwise barren office. you’re not there to share the meal with him and scold him about staying hydrated. you’re not there to be wrapped up in his arms, fully trusting you while you sleep together. because you’re here. on the hospital bed, tubes attached to you keeping you alive.

the beeps of your heart monitor was merely white noise to him now. the doctors told him to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. you were hit in one to many fatal areas. you lost almost too much blood. you might not recover. you might not wake up.

but she has too. he thought.

spending a year with someone does a lot to a person. chuuya had loved before you, but never like this. he had never promised so much for someone, felt his heart beat the way it did for you. you and him promised marriage, a family, you two promised forever.

chuuya nakahara was a man of the mafia.

and that meant he knew death better than anyone.

in his line of work, losing people meant hoping that death is kinder than life. he didn’t have the time to grieve, he could only wish them peace in slumber and fortify his heart. he had been through it, possibly preparing himself for worse and worse each time.

but nothing could have prepared him for this.

chuuya could feel his being overfill with grief. he had given so much love to you. so much time, so many promises, so many kisses, embraces, late nights and forevers to you. he’d given you every fibre of his mortal being because fuck, he loved you. and he had never felt a love like yours- and he didn’t want to try and feel anyone else’s because it would never feel like yours. his grief was just love with nowhere to go.

you were an anchor to chuuya’s humanity, something that kept him in place throughout all the pain and suffering of his life. he thought he would love you forever. but right now chuuya wished he could forget. forget the life you two almost had. the wedding you almost had. the kids you almost raised. the life that was so close he could graze it with his fingertips right before the rug was pulled out from underneath him. it was either he had it all with you, or didn’t know you at all. not the in between. not the purgatory. not the almost.

“i’ll love you for the rest of my life.” he hears you say in the tone of voice he adored.

he wasn’t sure what he would do if that life ended too short. no, not when you were supposed to be forever.

he would rather tear down the world than lose you. he’d tear the roots of the world into pieces, collapse buildings upon buildings and set everything in his sight ablaze. he’d burn down everything, everyone and anything that dared his grief. and in the end he’d cause massive waves to erupt from the ocean floors, washing over all who inhabits the planet, making sure no one would return from the seas unbiased fate.

i’d do it. he bargains in his mind, pleading to anyone out there who may hear his call. he was never the faithful type, but seeing you barely hold onto your life made him desperate. maybe arahabaki would hear him, maybe the universe would. i’d do it for her. just bring her back. bring her back to me.

he held your wired hand, a knot in his chest forming feeling how cold you were. it felt like death was already trying to take you away from him, and chuuya wasn’t having it.

he wanted to speak, to call out to you. he wanted to beg you to wake up, remind you that he’s still here. remind you that you still have a life to live. a life with him.

he opened his mouth, but nothing camee out.

he wasn’t just losing you. he was losing his life.

and he felt all of it escape his eyes and roll down his cheeks.

[rekino2114]

Mutli request: Charlie (Undertale), Sophie (Walten Files), and Marin (Dress Up Darling) with an S/O that starts to go through a self doubt cycle, feeling that he's not good enough for his girlfriend.

Chara,sophie, and marin with an s/o who thinks he's not good enough for them

Chara dreemurr

Chara kinda feels the same, to be honest. She's practically a demon who slaughtered thousands of monsters in different timelines it's a miracle that she still has a soul, and you're a really nice guy. she still wonders why you're with her sometimes

She'll take a while to notice what's wrong with you, but when she does, she immediately asks you who made you sad, and where can she find them. After you explained how you felt she was flabbergasted, you were crazy if you thought you weren't good enough for her. If anything, you were too good and she told you exactly that.

She tried to be more affectionate to you after the conversation (even if she still blushes a lot) she'll also remind you of how much she loves you and how you changed who she was completely, you both helped each other with your self doubt issues.

"Hey, y/n listen to me, how the heck did you start thinking that? Did somebody tell you cause if they did, I swear I'll......no? Alright, just don't think stuff like that anymore. You practically restored my faith in humanity. If anything, I don't deserve you"

Sophie walten

Sophie also feels like she doesn't really deserve you, but it's more because of what she puts you through, she vents to you about her trauma a lot,not to mention all the times you have to wake up to comfort her about a nightmare she had, she thinks she's pushing too much on you and that you're the best person she ever met since you didn't leave her because of that.

She noticed how you felt pretty fast, probably because it's the same way she feels. She was the one to comfort you this time around, hugging you and telling you how much you truly mean to her and how you helped her cope with everything.

She smiles more around you after, trying to physically show you how much you had a positive impact on her life. She also tries to rant less around you as she thinks it might annoy you. She'll always comfort you whenever you're down though, just like you do with her.

"Babe please don't say stuff like that, you're a great guy, and genuinely the best thing that ever happened to me, I.....don't know where I'd be If it wasn't for you, I love you so much please never forget that"

Marin kitagawa

Marin showers you in affection and compliments every 5 minutes, always calling you the best boyfriend ever and the light of her life, she makes you feel so cherished, but you still thought you didn't deserve that. She was so beautiful and nice and you were just an average guy, you thought you didn't deserve her.

She noticed almost immediately what changed in you. It was because you reacted to her daily hugs and kisses with less warmth than usual, so she decided to ask you what's wrong and not leave you alone until you told her the truth, your well-being is the most important thing in the world to her.

She was quite literally speechless when you told her the truth. How did you ever think about something like that? In her eyes, you're literally the most perfect person in existence, and you think you're not good enough for her? She can't have that. She will be twice as affectionate and loving to you after that (which is saying a lot) you'll never go an hour without hearing how awesome you are and how you always make her feel on cloud nine while she hugs you soooo tightly.

"W-wait, are you serious? Baby, pleeaaaaase don't say that. You're like the best. Have I not told you that enough? Cause I'll yell it at you until I lose my voice if that's what it takes. Literally every day I ask myself how I ended up with an angel come to heart, I love you so so so much and you are waaaaaaaay more than enough"

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Survivors

theo raeken x reader

summary: people are being kidnapped and tested, and one day, you wake up with the startling realization that you're next. luckily, your captor releases you after something about you reminds him a little too much of himself.

tags: kidnapping, implied s3lf h4rm, implied child abuse, non-graphic

word count: 1.1k

a/n: i apologize in advance

also, i wrote this a month ago and haven't been able to title it! i've also had to rewatch parts of s5 bc i was so confused the first time around. this takes place before the chimeras start dying / when they're still being tested on and all that.

A dark cloth is pulled tightly around your head, and your hands are bound in rope. A metal pole supports your back, though it is uncomfortable between your shoulder blades. Two of your senses are rendered useless, forcing you to rely on the other three for support. Unfortunately, they aren't much help in a situation like this.

You sigh. There's no telling how long you've been here. You know you've faded in and out of consciousness three times now. This is the first time you've fully woken up and realized how endangered you actually are.

Even with the blindfold, you know you're in the dark. The hard and cold ground suggests a garage, storage building, or maybe even down in the tunnels, is where you're being kept. Who knows? A pill was forced down your throat the minute you were grabbed, your kidnapper rendering you completely unable to fight.

Speaking of which... Your kidnapper...

You wonder who they are. It's probably the doctors; they've been damning people for weeks now. Turning humans into creatures and throwing them back out into the world. Killing them if they're failures, but doing more tests if they seem to succeed.

Fear shoots down your spine as you realize you're next. You're captured, you must be their next test. You struggle against the ropes, but there's no give.

A heavy door is pushed to the side, and footsteps make their way towards you. You stop fighting immediately and prepare for the worst.

Someone crouches in front of you close enough that you can hear their breathing. They're calm in a way that horrifies you. They're not here to save you. No, no one knows you're here. No one is coming to save you.

You're startled by a gentle touch as two hands meet the sides of your head. Your blindfold is pulled down slowly, finally revealing the person on the other side. Their identity shocks you; a chill ices your body.

"You."

He sighs, glancing at the floor. "Sorry about this, Y/N. You're the one they wanted most."

"Really? And when'd you become their little errand boy, Theo? I thought you wanted Scott to trust you. Thought you wanted to be a part of his pack."

"it's all about survival, Y/N. There is a war, and I am loyal to whom I think will come out on top."

"You're wrong. The bad guys always lose, even if not in ways you'd expect. You will lose."

"Have that much faith in Scott, now do you? I don't see him coming to save you. You're all alone here. There's no getting out." You gulp visibly before you can stop yourself. "How's that for being the loser?"

"You're sick."

"Maybe. But at least I'm a realist."

You roll your eyes, looking away from him. Right now, his face is pissing you off just to see it. Two days ago, you'd admit you thought the little fucker was hot, but now, he's just a pain in your ass.

"Whatever," you snap, "have it your way. Just make it fast if you're going to kill me."

"Baby, if you've been following along, I'm not killing anyone. And the doctors aren't yet either. They're testing you all."

"For what? And don't 'baby' me."

He smiles. "To make the perfect monster. The best one for the cause."

"Which is?"

"Can't say."

"You're insufferable."

"And you're adorable when you're mad."

"Ugh!"

Theo takes a deep breath, then unties the cloth that was once around your eyes. He reaches around the side to undo the ropes, working at them for a good thirty seconds before unraveling the strongly-made knot.

"I do mean it when I say I'm sorry. Wish they picked anyone else, but they said you were special."

"I don't care, Theo. I already know this is the end for me. You're just drawing it out."

He slouches his shoulders before taking your wrists in his hands. He sits up on his knees, prepared to pull you up with him, but stops suddenly. Even in the darkness, the chimera can see the scars. Thin, white lines decorating the skin on your wrists. Some are more faded than others, but others look more recent. He stares at them for a moment, while you remain none the wiser, avoiding his gaze.

For a second, he's transported back to his childhood - kidnapped by the doctors at an early age, forced to undergo tests and experiments, and to live under their care. Forgotten by his family and haunted by his sister. The doctors didn't know how to raise a child, but they clearly didn't care. The torment he suffered still hurts every passing day, and even now, in Beacon Hills again, the pain hasn't ceased.

Theo bears plenty of scars of his own. Some are made by the doctors, some he brought on himself. It took him years to learn to not hate his body, to see the scars as a reminder that he's a survivor, not a failure.

His are littered around his body in places not well seen. The first time one of the doctors discovered them, he was punished accordingly. It's as if they're the only ones allowed to abuse him; how dare he bring it upon himself.

Theo looks at your scars and wonders what trauma is buried beneath them. What are you hiding? What emotional pain lies under the physical? Who knows your secrets, if anyone? It's none of his business, so he doesn't ask, but he closes his hands over your wrists and gulps.

"Run."

You look back at him, then at your clasped hands. "What?"

"Run. Run far from here and don't look back. Follow the pipes on the left side of the wall, and let them take you back above ground. Don't tell Scott anything I told you, it will only get you hurt. Just run, and don't let the doctors find you."

"Wait, why? I don't understand."

Theo pushes your hands into your chest and finally releases them. Fear floods through you as realization hits. He's seen you, seen your wrists, and your scars, and he's taking pity on you. But... he's letting you go.

"Just go, Y/N!" He yells in a whisper. "Go, before they come back. Any minute now, they're expecting you."

You scramble to your feet and look towards the pipes. The pipes on the left lead out, he said.

"But what about you?" You don't know why you ask. You don't know why you care. But, something deep inside you does.

"I'll be fine, I'll make up a lie. Just go!"

And so finally, you take off in the direction he points, still a little confused, but incredibly grateful.

Maybe there is some good in him. Maybe he's just as manipulated by the doctors as the rest of the chimeras. Maybe there's hope for him after all.

[queenoftheantz]

Top 5 Anime/Manga characters of all time and why?

oh wow hmmm....

Completely subjectively:

Oikawa Tooru (haikyuu!!)

Oikawa... he is just yknow. My Character. But I also often in my daily life have a little Oikawa in my head reminding me that my passion is my passion because it's fun and I love it. That talent and skill are intertwined but also not static or pre-determined, that I might not be as good as I think I should be, and I might never be, but if I don't try I definitely won't. Maybe I will reach my goal today, or tomorrow, or in 30 years. And I can do it at the pace and path that suits me. He speaks of all this AS WELL as the very bitter feelings that preceeds these revelations. I also really love his focus on facilitating others, of reaching potential together, of trust and faith in his team and their in him!

2. Marcille Donato (Dungeon Meshi)

Oh Marcille. (Manga spoilers here) Marcille started out so silly and to be honest? Annoying? Girly and anxious and squemish. But then you realise that these parts are absolutely true, but she is also determined and loyal and scared and unafraid and skilled. The firly and squemish becomes charming in contrast to her being excited to experience death and morally ambigious enough to use ancient magic or become a dungeon lord. And then you learn even more about her and her family, the way she grew up and how she probably is... pretty young, considering everything. The knowledge and life experience of someone being 40 maybe, but with the brain to handle it of a 19 year old... she is so afraid for everyone to die away and yet she cant help but love people! Isn't that lovely!? And as someone very afraid to lose my parents I really really feel for her relationship with her father. I think Marcille was a character who really illustrates the progression of tone in Dungeon meshi, represents the themes of the story so well, and really grew on me. Also gay. hi.

3. Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

I know people don't like this guy but he shaped me so much as a teen. I think his journey through lacking self-esteem and depression and self hatred is both fascinating, nuanced and in the end, encouraging! Imagine being offered to join humanity all as one, never feel rejected or alone again and then DESPITE all he has gone through, chosing to be yourself after all! And frankly I love that the show lets him be cowardly and weak and unsympathetic, it makes him more real and make his strong moments stronger. Also gay. hi

4. Mob (Mob psycho 100)

Mobs story is more low key, but I also enjoy a story about a young boy who FIRST has to find the motivation to improve himself, and THEN has to realise that improving yourself and being a good person does not necessarily mean to surpress any negative or strong emotions. Once again, a story about acceoting yourself, even the sides you have a hard time controlling and find off-putting or scary. And I think Mob gets to realise this in a silly and gently way!

5. Abe takaya (ookiku furikabutte)

Oh Abe. It's that one page. When he is explaining to Sakeaguchi his backstory with Haruna, and he is talking about it so casually, it's no big deal, but you can tell. "Everyone is afraid of pain". It makes my heart clench every time. It's his control-issues, his fast felling into caring about Mihashi as a person, but then slowly realising what that actually means. It's him being shocked by the smile, it's him doing anything to win, it's him not realising how mean he is. In a different story Abe would have been a bully. But fortunately for him Momoe and the team and Mihashi himself are not putting up with any of it and he slowly and also gently improves himself. I gotta catch up with oofuri. (also gay. hi)

Shout outs to: Hinata Shoyo (of course), Mihashi Ren (also of course), Edward Elric, Sophie (Howls moving castle movie), Reigen (im not immune), Tamaki (ohshc, sometimes i just think about him and hes so charming and fun and i relate), Kanamori (Keep your hands off Eizouken!, shes just. so cool. It's a fun show but every time shes on screen im blushing a bit shes just! Wow!), and the straight college student from one of my fave BL's who has to go on a personal journey to accept that he actually likes a man who's bigger and taller than him and has a big ass. Shoutouts to him too.

[trigunsbbygirl]

Human Things that Confuse Knives Part 2

Made a second one since I had more ideas lol

content warnings: teeth, use bomb in an analogy, mention bruises. this one gets more into the body/anatomy idk what all people are comfy with so just in case

•Knives already thinks dreams are kinda weird, but those surreal ones and the utterly weird ones that just make no sense or seemed so real you wonder if it actually happened? he wants to know what's going on in your brain. Knives will listen to you as you recount your dream, he won't say much or make any facial reactions, but part of him is kinda amazed that your can brain come up with the weirdest, coolest and/or creepiest things ever.

•the concept of having baby teeth and adult teeth weirds Knives out. when Knives learns that you do lose your teeth as a kid he's staring at you like you've just grown a second head. don't tell him that you have wisdom teeth that usually need to be taken out via surgery as a teenager. (Vash is kinda grossed out by it. found out when a kid he was playing with ran up to him and was like 'look! my tooth fell out!:D' he panicked, thinking they got hurt, but it's replaced with horror, disbelief, slight disgust and concern when he finds out every human looses a set of teeth. he hates it a little. has no idea what to do when a kid tells him that a tooth fell out. help him)

•also. imagine Knives surprise when he learns about the appendix. you had been talking with a friend when you mentioned appendicitis and that you had to have surgery. it peaked his interest and when you're done talking, Knives asks about it. he stares at you in uncertainty and disbelief the further you explain. what do you mean there's a small pouch in your stomach that serves little to no function that can essentially become a bomb? Knives doesn't actually believe you until he looks it up. he wonders how humans have survived with bodies like that.

•same wonder when it comes to you having to take vitamins and other supplements because sometimes a body won't produce enough of something or too much.

•the fact the humans shed/lose hair. Knives knows that, but it kinda grosses him out a bit. he hates seeing your hair strands, makes you clean them up. (I hc that the twins just have little to no body hair and they don't actually lose hair strands.)

•double jointed people also weirds Knives out. what do you mean you can twist or bend a joint further than normal? it doesn't exactly creep or gross him out, but he doesn't like it. he'll never admit that, but he won't look/talk to you for a bit after you show off that flexibility.

•Knives is fascinated by the way your skin can change colors. (don't mention that he can turn a lovely shade of red, he gets all huffy.) but, anyways, he loves examining your face, watching as your face gets darker with certain things he does. (also likes seeing your facial expressions. humans are so expressive..) he also likes seeing your bruises and watching as the bruise changes colors over time as it heals. you joked one day that you could give him a bruise of his own that he can watch. he didn't like the joke (he prefers to give you (consensual) bruises.)

•now let's get into reverse Isekai for a bit.

•Knives does not fucking understand social media lmao. why the hell do you have to tell people you've never met what you did or thought that day and why are so many people interested? why do people do stupid things for views??

•he hates online discourse and always tunes you out when you try to talk about something that happened online. he doesn't care and thinks it's stupid.

•do NOT let him find out about stan culture or chronically online people. he's gonna lose any faith he had in humanity again. I wouldn't worry about that too much though. he has zero online presence, never uses social media outside of YouTube and even then he only uses it to watch documentaries or how to videos.

•memes confuse him a lot, especially how fast they come and go. you don't even know how to explain them to him. "why is this picture of a man just standing so funny?" "it just is? I don't know either." how do you even explain memes and internet culture to someone who's never been on the internet lol

•Knives thinks you're really weird if you've got a skewed sense of humor where something dramatically falling over makes you laugh(thinking of that waffle video.) he watches those types of videos with a straight face and when the video ends he just stares at you, wondering if you seriously think that's funny.

•he hates those youtube poop and deepfried videos. not only does he find them stupid and doesn't understand them, but they just bother his ears.

•bonus: Vash thinks the circadian rythym is pretty neat and that some people just know when to wake up. it took Vash a while to develop one, or at least, something like that since he doesn't technically need sleep. it'll never quite be the same though since he doesn't exactly get tired like humans do. it took decades for that type of tiredness to become present, but even still, he doesn't need it to survive.

[mob-choir]

i’m having so many emotions about teru

that was such a fast-paced, high-stakes situation, and he was thrown so many curveballs he barely had any time to cope with, and he still managed to adjust at impressive speed and never lost his faith in mob.

specifically: that moment right before ???% grabs him by the throat, when he’s kneeling on the ground trying to catch his breath. in that split moment, that’s when the realisation dawns, that this version of mob has no qualms in hurting him even with his bare hands. mob being non-violent to the point of letting himself get choked to unconsciousness was literally how they met, it’s one of the foundations at his core, and teru was well aware of it. having that knowledge suddenly be proven wrong, and all that means for his own safety, must have been a lot to take in. i can’t quite tell if it’s fear that we see on his face for a second, but if it is, that really adds to the element of horror - that sudden realisation that you’re in so much more danger than you thought and your initial plan is not going to be enough.

and then of course: when ???% lets loose his power despite so many people still being around and unable to evacuate. the horror on teru’s face, man. i don’t think it’d really clicked for him what mob being in this state actually meant until then. sure, him attacking teru was unlike him, but teru’s still an esper. he’s in great danger but he can somewhat defend himself. but civilians are different, and you can really tell teru did NOT think mob would put them in danger like that. he’s completely shell-shocked. i think that was another huge moment where he had to very quickly reassess the situation and what to do about it, all while coping with the emotional side of it all, since this is one of his closest friends and someone he really admires. he has to very quickly reckon with the fact that despite the pedestal he put him on, mob is just as human as he is and is capable of making mistakes just like everybody else, mistakes that don't detract from his worth.

which brings me to the point of it all. that DESPITE ALL THAT, teru was still able to 1) understand that mob desperately wants someone to stop him and would never want to harm anyone like this (bc he remembered that mob cried after realising what he’d done to his school....... where he’d only really harmed one person, who had done much worse to him..... if he cried after that, how will he feel when he finds out what he’s causing now?), 2) save all the people caught up in the devastation and get them all out of harm’s way, while being in a lot of pain (his EYES were BLEEDING), and 3) never once lose faith in mob. he saw him go on a (unintentional and unwilling, but teru doesn’t know that) rampage, doing things he would never in a million years think mob would ever do, and still took all of that in in record time considering the situation, and came out on the other side still whole-heartedly believing in shigeo and his goodness, and almost dying trying to stop him. because he knew that being the reason hundreds of innocent people got injured (or worse) would completely and utterly break mob.

and while, knowing teru, he might think he failed since he couldn’t achieve his goal (stopping mob’s rampage), what he succeeded in doing was ultimately just as important. he saved all the people he could, and gave his best for the one person he couldn’t.

[bubblegum-glitch]

The Catalyst: Life working in retail and the moment I finally said "fuck it, I'm doing porn."

I've been working in Customer Service off and on since early 2005, only ever being unemployed for short periods of time between job searches. I've worked in various retail establishments, with shipping companies, call centres, door-to-door sales, and even in kitchens & cafes. The only industry I have ever refused to work in has been fast food, and I'm sure those of you who have worked a drive through or two in your lives can understand my reasoning. I began in my first year of high school working at a Dollar Store that was next to an extremely seedy strip club (it eventually burned down and it was discovered that the owner had done it to try and cash in on the insurance). From customers verbally and physically abusing me, to an elderly man jerking his cock in front of me, my first romp in retail was merely a taste of what was to come for the next 20 years.

Some jobs were certainly better than others. I worked at a bookstore and a Halloween shop, both of which would have been fine if not for the politics of the company bleeding into the staff and making us all miserable. Bad management teams, abusive coworkers, bullying and drama akin to that which we experience in High School - it becomes exhausting after awhile. For minimum wage, which doesn't even come close to a living wage, it's just not worth the headaches. I rarely lasted longer than two years with any of my employers. When you're handed a penny raise after working your ass off for an entire year you tend to lose faith in the company that you've been breaking your back (and sanity) for. I promise, there was no lack of trying on my part to escape the clutches of the customer service industry. I have my BA in English, I have a certificate in photography, and I have some training in IT Web design (which proved to be far too much for my little brain to handle) and Audio Engineering. Unfortunately the job market for all of these industries in my part of the world is pretty much non existent. I'm pretty sure a BA in English is worth less than toilet paper even after the great pandemic shortage of 2020. Unfortunately, to make money in this world you gotta do what you gotta do. So to pay off my crippling debt and be able to afford an occasional package of ramen noodles so I don't starve to death, I have to continue working these soul crushing, mindless jobs.

It was in 2016 when I started working in donation rooms at thrift stores and, I will be completely honest with you - I fucking love it. Granted, it has it's downsides. I've sorted through more than a couple bags with mould, human feces, needles, and used sex toys, but the satisfaction of the treasure hunt it's absolutely worth the nasty shit that you sometimes encounter. But once again, the politics of the industry got in the way of finding my work enjoyable and rewarding. Nasty upper management was the downfall of all three thrift locations I've worked at. The first store the CEO shut us down without warning (I also later learned he was a sexual predator and was being sued by some of his employees for harassment, so that was gross). The second location had a violent customer base (we were robbed repeatedly), a bully assistant manager who would scream in your face when HE made a mistake, and a regional manager who loved to throw her staff under the bus.

So that leads us to my third romp in thrift, my absolute favourite job I've ever had, and the devastation brought upon me when everything came crumbling down.

My husband and I came into a little bit of money in 2021 and I decided to take a break from the world of customer service bullshit and return to school (This was my IT and Audio Engineering training). That summer I got a student job at a thrift store where 100% of the proceeds go into helping rescue animals. It was entirely volunteer based other than the management team and the summer students (who were there on a government grant). I had such an enjoyable experience working there as the volunteer coordinator than I returned the following summer, and they were so impressed with me they ended up hiring me on permanently part time to help with their rapidly growing business. At this point, due to some mental health struggles, I am not currently able to work full time hours, and they were more than happy to work around my disability...

Until the new regional manager was hired.

The store closed for renovations and I was brought in to help rebuild and re-brand the store.

Sure. No problem. It's more hours than I'm available for, but I don't mind just for a couple of weeks. It's also more physical work than my body is really equipped for but, just this once, I'll suffer through with a smile on my face.

Then I'm handed a key and I'm told "You're a staff supervisor now". Oh... okay? No one talked to me or asked me if I wanted the promotion, it's more hours than I can handle, and I don't really want the responsibilities that come with a supervisor position because of my disability, but since my old position has been dissolved I guess I'll have to suck it up. At least it comes with a raise, right?

Nope. Still minimum wage. Which is currently sitting about $15 under a livable wage. Also, we won't be training you and just expect you to know how to do the assistant manager's job.

Okay... Gotta do what you gotta do I guess.

You also have to work more shifts than you're available for.

Oh... yeah, okay. That could start to prove difficult as I'm dealing with a depressive episode right now but... sure?

Then suddenly I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong. A volunteer makes a mistake? Blame Billie - even on days she isn't working. The cash or pricing machines break? Billie. Shoes, purses, dresses, and coats priced to low? Blame Billie and make sure she's the only person who prices these things from now on. Need 30 things done at once right this second, tell Billie and don't let her delegate the tasks to anyone else. If she does, yell at her! Have Billie open and close the store for the next two weekends, but don't train her how to do it and expect her not to make any mistakes. Customer has an issue? That's right, it's also somehow Billie's fault! Even when she's at home sleeping!

Blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blame.

Yeah. This was the breaking point for me.

In July of 2023 I had started up an OnlyFans account to bring in a couple extra dollars. I'll discuss why this was a challenging decision for me in a future post, but originally I was just planning to post some tasteful nudes to earn myself a little spending money. By May of 2024, as all this bullshit had begun happening at work, that mindset had officially gone from a couple tasteful nudes to "Fuck it, I'm quitting retail and making porn." By August I had amassed enough of a following to put in my notice.

I am finished with retail as of October 15th, 2024 and turning to creating adult content full time.

Honestly, this is a terrifying leap of faith as I know content creation can be a fickle beast. Some months will be more lucrative than others, while an inability to keep people invested could have everything all come crashing down on top of me.

But I'm done with working for people who take advantage of me and pay me pennies. I know my value and I'm worth more than what I'm being given. I'm not a number who is easily replaceable, I am a strong capable woman who is in charge of her own destiny.

So fuck you workforce,

I quit!

Now. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to live life how it's meant to be lived,

Enjoyed!

[nandysparadox]

A Wish Your Heart Makes - Masterpost ♡

Photo by frank mckenna via Unsplash / Edited by me

A dream is a wish your heart makes / When you're fast asleep

Patton Holloway is no stranger to fairy tales, as a human who’s lived in Fairyland for the past seven years, bound to the whims of the faerie who whisked him away, with only the mice and his memories for company. Roman is the Rose Prince of Spring, and the youngest of the heirs – his coronation is foretold by the spirits of the earth far earlier than he or his family expected. In a chance meeting, they find each other, and it might be just what they need. After all, change is coming. Everybody says so. or: a royality cinderella au, with a faerie twist 🩵

rating: T

pairing: romantic royality; background queerplatonic dukexiety

word count: 45k+

cw: past parental death, implied/referenced past child abuse, fantasy discrimination, physical/emotional abuse & neglect, abduction (of the ‘whisked away’ kind), controlling behavior, manipulation, magical compulsions and deals, angst with a happy ending

—♡—

this is my @tss-storytime big bang fic and I couldn't have been more honored to participate in this event this year <3 I want to thank the mods for organizing such an incredible event. it was so much fun!

my partner was @bitterpoison and they drew some wonderful, stunning art for this fic (here!) - working with them was a such a joy, please go check out their work!

huge thanks to everyone who made this fic possible - @caruliaa, my dear friend and biggest cheerleader throughout this whole process, and @pandagobrr and @fandombead, who beta-read this fic and gave me some incredible insight (and lovely comments!) 😊

Chapter List - [AO3] - Character Sheets

Prologue

Chapter 1 | In dreams, you will lose your heartaches

Chapter 2 | Whatever you wish for, you keep

Chapter 3 | Have faith in your dreams and someday

Chapter 4 | Your rainbow will come smiling through

Chapter 5 | No matter how your heart is grieving

Chapter 6 | If you keep on believing

Chapter 7 | The dream that you wish will come true

♡ Playlist ♡

[sirellas]

rightful heir is insane for the Implications. okay so there's this guy who was cloned from leftover DNA of the real kahless (with you so far) but also he's got fuzzy memories of being the real kahless implanted into his brain (?? okay...?) and he was just woken up/brought into existence at the exact moment the priest guys needed him to appear (when worf shows up, the main character of klingons) so this is really his first moment of being a person and he's In It, he's ready to GO right away. no learning how to walk, no confusion, no "hey guys what's been going on since i died", and he's ready to overthrow the current government DAY ONE. nope don't tell him anything, he already knows your chancellor sucks and the klingon spirit is corrupted. and he knows about worf's childhood moses moment where he/kahless appeared to worf to tell him to sparkle on it's worf wednesday my dude (very specific memory) but he can't remember details of his famous stories (are we saying his worf-related memories are real because worf really was the believer who brought his spirit back? mixed in with some good old fashioned priest cloning)

BUT he's a shit fighter. i mean he's not terrible but he's not mythical godlike warrior levels, so he does have some physical adjustment stumbling, but only when pressed. his weakness should have been like. learning how to digest solid food. not advanced combat. i mean don't get me wrong that's a very klingon weakness but it still raises a lot of questions. and kahless 2 has ZERO questions about this whole scheme until he loses to gowron in a fight. if we go with the Implications and assume this is the spirit of the real kahless dropped into his clone's body, the rest of this guy's whole deal is wild!!! he's just vibing! he's having spiritual awakenings certain human religious figures could only dream of achieving. even if we DON'T buy into the true reincarnation aspect, he's still the genetic clone of the klingon people's greatest hero with all the knowledge of the klingon religion in his head. like a factory made condensed klingon heritage all in one guy. which has gotta be a fun time for him (not really). his personality is Honor and his occupation is Faith. and he is technically a BABY.

and then worf is like "look idk if i believe in reincarnation (maybe haha) but i do believe in causing problems, let's see where he's going with this" and makes him a figurehead emperor. and of course by this point 2 fast 2 kahless is starting his "maybe i really am a fake" journey (which should've happened when he first heard someone sneeze and freaked out) so he just goes along with it. anyway. maybe the real kahless was the Implications we didn't fully explore along the way.

[paniniichan]

Ballade of the Lost Ones - Wandering / Chapter 3

Characters: Yuruzu, Niki, Madara, Rei, Tsumugi

Proofreaders: Aru, Oli

Yuzuru: Is this the script for the film? Thank you very much. 

Niki: Umm… The title is “Ballade of the Lost Children”? 

I can’t tell what the story’s about from just this.

Tsumugi: …Ah, I think I understand.

From this summary it seems like a film about a group of gods that features multiple concurrent storylines… at least that’s what it seems like.

Niki: You read that so fast!?

Tsumugi: Ahaha. Since reading is my hobby, I became pretty good at speed-reading. 

Niki: Still, that was super fast~. You’re amazing…!

Yuzuru: Even if you say these characters are gods, I can’t form a mental picture of what they’re like. I can’t quite pin it just yet.

The Japanese deities are commonly associated with the phrase “eight million gods”.¹ There are so many that it’s easy to believe one could exist for every phenomenon.

Hm? What seems to be the matter, Anzu-san?

Ah, I see.  Since the director went through all the trouble of coming here, it would be best for him to explain the important details in person.  

Director: Got it. Please allow me to explain–

This film is set in the present day. 

The main characters are smaller local deities who spent many years assembling the faith of their people and protecting their land. 

As the people have begun to lose their faith with the changing times, the local deities are losing their divinity, little by little… It’s pretty much like the world we live in.

Rei: Religious faith, hm? The people of this era do feel out of tune with it.

Director: Yes. This story is also one of children engulfed by the changing times. 

With their loss of divinity, the protagonists will gradually change from gods into mere non-humans–

During this change, they become what we call ‘spirits’ or demons.²

As this occurs, the local deities’ behaviours are also influenced and they begin to transform.

Among them, there are those who hate the humans who so callously forgot their faith, those whose “individuality” has become unclear, and those whose existences also begin to wane. 

But these gods ask themselves if it’s necessary to continue to protect this land, and by extension the people who live there. That’s the story I want to tell. 

Yuzuru: ……

This is truly… a difficult story to portray, is it not?

Niki: You think so?

I haven’t done much acting work before, so I’m not really sure which bits are difficult.

Yuzuru: This script will require us to play the role of someone who is “non-human”. Since this is the case, I am unable to rely on experience or memory for my part. How am I to perform this…?

Niki: Hmmm. I think I get it now.

Rei: Kukuku… When you think about it like that, perhaps this is a role perfectly suited for one such as myself. I am a monster after all…♪

Madara: Hm? What’s wrong, Anzu-san?

I see. Even though the roles are hard, you have faith in all of our abilities? Got it.

 I’ll stay true to my character!³ Well if the producer told me so, I guess I have no choice but to do my best ☆

Niki: Yup! I don’t really know why I was chosen. But even if I’m not good at acting, I don’t plan on cutting any corners!

Director: Thank you all for saying that!

Anzu-san. If it’s possible, I’d like to start filming soon, so could we sort out scheduling right away?

Of course, I totally understand that all of you still have your own jobs to do. I don’t want to make you go to the trouble of taking time off.   

I’d like to progress with filming within any free time you all may have, even if it’s little by little.  　

Yuzuru: …? Yes, it does seem like that. It’s as you say, Anzu-san.

It’s almost like they’re trying to proceed with filming as soon as possible, no…?

Niki: Is there a reason why you need to film everything so quickly?

Director: Truthfully, this film is being entered into a competition.

There aren’t many days left until the submission deadline. I sincerely apologise for these circumstances, but I’d like to get the filming done as soon as possible. 

Tsumugi: Sigh... A competition?

Director: You must think I’m just doing this for personal gain, right?

Tsumugi: Eh!? No no, I didn’t intend for it to come across like that!?

Director: No, it’s alright. It’s because I’m a shameful person.

I want to create satisfying movies. Although I created a small film production company for that purpose, our administration is always falling short. 

If this film results in failure, I’ll have to close the company.

In my youth I was praised as some kind of a genius… but these days I don’t even know if I have any talent at all.

That’s why this competition is my last chance. 

Yuzuru: ……

Niki: There’s no chance… Were you looking around town for actors since you don’t have any money!? 

Director: Well, um. It costs money to hold auditions, you know? We don’t exactly have the extra funds to do that~. 

 Even if we did make an offer, we’re such a small company that it’s difficult to ask agencies or theatre troupes. I was actually turned away at the front gate. Hahaha.

Ah, but you guys are different! Please don’t get me wrong on that! I seriously wanted you to appear in my film, so I ran as hard as I could despite my lack of physical prowess to try and call out to you.

I was so lucky! Anzu-san really saved me when she reached out. Fortunately, I’m now able to work with you both. 

Niki: Anzu-neesan, why’d you pick this movie for the “P Choice” project? 

…Uh-huh? Ehh~. You watched one of this director’s films from when he was a student? So you’re a fan of his!

Director: Haha. As of recently, I’ve found my past titles and reputation to be mostly annoying. 

But if this leads me toward the road to salvation, I guess I can’t just abandon my past self.

Yuzuru: ……

I thought this was a strange coincidence from the start, and there is no guarantee we will be able to win this competition for you.

But if you think so highly of us, we shall record this film to the best of our abilities.  Director: Ah, if you will, I’ll be relying on you…!

----

¹ 八百万の神 - “Eight million gods” - Meaning too many gods to count

² The character used here is 妖, meaning mysterious or alluring. It could be an abbreviation for the word “yōkai” or just mean “calamity”, but I’ve decided to leave it as spirits for simplicity.

³ 面目躍如 - Madara typical idiom meaning ‘to live up to one’s name’ or ‘demonstrating one’s worth’

[melyzard]

I was wondering if you have resources on how to explain (in good faith) to someone why AI created images are bad. I'm struggling how to explain to someone who uses AI to create fandom images, b/c I feel I can't justify my own use of photoshop to create manips also for fandom purposes, & they've implied to me they're hoping to use AI to take a photoshopped manip I made to create their own "version". I know one of the issues is stealing original artwork to make imitations fast and easy.

Hey anon. There are a lot of reasons that AI as it is used right now can be a huge problem - but the easiest ones to lean on are:

1) that it finds, reinforces, and in some cases even enforces biases and stereotypes that can cause actual harm to real people. (For example: a black character in fandom will consistently be depicted by AI as lighter and lighter skinned until they become white, or a character described as Jewish will...well, in most generators, gain some 'villain' characteristics, and so on. Consider someone putting a canonically transgender character through an AI bias, or a woman who is not perhaps well loved by fandom....)

2) it creates misinformation and passes it off as real (it can make blatant lies seem credible, because people believe what they see, and in fandom terms, this can mean people trying to 'prove' that the creator stole their content from elsewhere, or allow someone to create and sell their own 'version' of content that is functionally unidentifiable from canon

3) it's theft. The algorithm didn't come up with anything that it "makes," it just steals some real person's work and then mangles is a bit before regurgitating it with usually no credit to the original, actual creator. (In fandom terms: you have just done the equivalent of cropping out someone else's watermark and calling yourself the original artist. After all, the AI tool you used got that content from somewhere; it did not draw you a picture, it copy pasted a picture)

4) In some places, selling or distributing AI art is or may soon be illegal - and if it's not illegal, there are plenty of artists launching class action lawsuits against those who write the algorithm, and those who use it. Turns out artists don't like having their art stolen, mangled, and passed off as someone else's. Go figure.

Here are some articles that might help lay out more clear examples and arguments, from people more knowledgeable than me (I tried to imbed the links with anti-paywall and anti-tracker add ons, but if tumblr ate my formatting, just type "12ft.io/" in front of the url, or type the article name into your search engine and run it through your own ad-blocking, anti tracking set up):

These fake images reveal how AI amplifies our worst stereotypes [Source: Washington Post, Nov 2023]

Humans Are Biased; AI is even worse (Here's Why That Matters) [Source: Bloomburg, Dec 2023]

Why Artists Hate AI Art [Source: Tech Republic, Nov 2023]

Why Illustrators Are Furious About AI 'Art' [Source: The Guardian, Jan 2023]

Artists Are Losing The War Against AI [Source: The Atlantic, Oct 2023]

This tool lets you see for yourself how biased an AI can be [Source: MIT Technology Review, March 2023]

Midjourney's Class-Action lawsuit and what it could mean for future AI Image Generators [Source: Fortune Magazine, Jan 2024]

What the latest US Court rulings mean for AI Generated Copyright Status [Source: The Art Newspaper, Sep 2023]

AI-Generated Content and Copyright Law [Source: Built-in Magazine, Aug 2023 - take note that this is already outdated, it was just the most comprehensive recent article I could find quickly]

AI is making mincemeat out of art (not to mention intellectual property) [Source: The LA Times, Jan 2024]

Midjourney Allegedly Scraped Magic: The Gathering art for algorithm [Source: Kotaku, Jan 2024]

Leaked: the names of more than 16,000 non-consenting artists allegedly used to train Midjourney’s AI [Source: The Art Newpaper, Jan 2024]

[eldritch-spouse]

So we know how Belo acts if we are Admin or if he found us first before Krulu. But how is the relationship like if we are his charge? If you wouldn't mind can ya give some headcanons on that relationship?

I'm guessing this is the closest thing to just being a friend of his without becoming a love interest?

Not exactly. There are simply two alternatives to pursuing Belo. One that fits a greater narrative, and another that can be considered a side-narrative. Let me try to explain.

In the version of events where you are Krulu's lamb and a dynamic is established between you, Krulu and Belo- Adrul and Adelo are born, Eden and Perdition are taken hold of by Krulu while Miara handles the surface.

In the version of events where you're Belo's charge- Only Adrul is born, Perdition is taken by Krulu, who will then ambitiously attempt to conquer Limbo as well. Miara keeps the surface and Eden. Belo is still a servant of Krulu, but his love interest is you exclusively.

(There's yet a third variant of this where Belo simply doesn't meet Krulu or The Clergy at all, and simply diefies you instead, but it leads nowhere in the bigger picture.)

Being Belo's charge

In this scenario, you're still cherished greatly, but not glorified, meaning his posture dramatically shifts and Belo is not as submissive or otherwise permissive as he would be. You need to be guarded and protected, he has the authority to decide that because he's a 2nd tier angel, a power, and therefore his judgement is sound. You can't ever convince him that what he's doing is wrong;

There's no leeway for you to keep your home. Belo is keeping you in a guest room inside The Clergy's Eye, said room is carefully warded to keep you safe from meddling fools. You may find your surroundings grotesque at best, but Belo assures you these are holy lands, because Krulu is there, and you should be respectful about it too;

He's adamant on taking over every aspect of your life, starting from the hour at which you should wake up, to how you should dress, eat and what activities you should have access to -Certainly not communication with just anyone- You might pick up an instrument with him, or have gentle sparring sessions (because he wouldn't want you getting too confident, naturally);

Oddly enough, part of your routine will involve helping him provide offerings for Krulu. You will gain insight into the world's workings you might never have wanted to know, Belo has no compunctions about shattering your view of reality if it means injecting his own in the void of your confusion;

You're praised as an exemplary lesser. The angel assures your mere disconnect from the frivolous nature of other humans makes you immensely precious. You're on the path to righteousness and it's a graceful thing to watch! Be happy, sweet charge;

Your arguing is seen in the same light as a child being needy for attention, Belo's not too likely to get angered unless you start attacking his faith and The Clergy's Eye. Physical tantrums will result in you getting bound and scolded for a long time.

NSFW

Belo's still a repressed pervert, and while you may get some leeway for control here if you tempt him and initiate things, you'll never have as much control as you would in other scenarios;

Belo is insistent but very quiet about his degeneracy, not acknowledging it when he's fondling you, and telling you to keep quiet while he grinds hard against your ass. It's not impure or filthy, he's your guardian after all- This is love, not senseless carnality;

Although he dresses you modestly, you'll note that sometimes Belo will bring you slightly see-through clothes. Two of his eyes look you in the face, the other one is going places;

Although he claims to detest vulgarity, talking dirty to Belo has him hard so fast he might get light-headed from his blood rushing to his dick. It's gross, it's worth a scolding, b-but first...;

He does still lose his virginity to you in this scenario, to say he's nervous is an understatement. Belo will lose his nerve a couple of times, especially if you try to shame him out of doing it, but his desire will eventually take hold.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

When It’s Cold, I’d Like To Die 🌨 | TGM Imagine- Apocalypse AU

Set in an alternate world during a zombie apocalypse

TGM masterlist

Characters & Pairings: female!reader x Dagger Squad (platonic), slight Bradley Bradshaw x female!reader (implied romance), sister!oc x female reader (platonic/sisters)

Content Warnings: MAJOR angst & MAJOR character death (read at your own risk). Profanity. Emotional, sad, light fluff at the end (sorta a happy ending), apocalypse!au, light spoilers for TLOU (one scene is loosely inspired by one from Ep.2) | female!reader (she/her) wc: 7.5k

Premise: 2019 was the last year humanity could laugh and have fun without a care in the world. Then in November the world was turned upside down when a deadly virus swept though causing humans to turn into beings they only saw in movies. Seven years after the outbreak, the Top Gun special detachment have remained a team, but in the way they predicted obviously. They’ve survived things no training from the Navy could’ve prepared them for. Now years later, they’ve wondered to Seattle with hopes of returning to California by down….but for a couple of them, it’s their last stop.

Note: I’m sorry. Again. - Bee 🐝

———————————————

Date: 30 November 2026 –7 Years, 0 Months, and 20 Days since the outbreak

It’s been 12 hours. Another 12 and my brain will be consumed by the virus making me one of the things I’ve spent years fighting. No one knows. Everything happened so fast after the ambush that I rushed to get my gloves on before anyone could notice the bite mark just below my thumb. The veins have already started to appear, my muscles aching with light spasms I try to hide when no one is looking. So far they’ve only reached my elbow…but once they reach my neck It’s rapid from there. Then the foam will leave my mouth, my pupils will dilate to the point you can barely make out the white. I guess I should start figuring out what to do before I either lose my mind or end things before it gets worse.

I fear Maverick is onto me, but maybe he fears I’m onto him. His behavior has changed just as mine, becoming drawn away from the rest as we set sights on heading south for the winter. When he thinks I’m not looking I catch him fidgeting with his pant leg. Like he’s trying to make sure it’s covering his skin…..Maybe I wasn’t the only one to be bitten—not sure if I should find comfort at the fact I may not have to go through this alone, or just as hopeless with the fact it’s Mav. Once the others discover our my secret I’m scared they’re gonna lose faith. We’re so close to the rumored safe haven—so so close that we could get there by the end of the week…..but it looks like they're gonna have to continue without me.

We’ve been together as a team for seven years—before the outbreak even happened. I still remember the smell of the ocean and the feel of the felt on the pool table against my fingertips. The taste of draft beer that I once hated almost seems nostalgic since I haven’t had it in years. I can still hear the laughter from Bradley and Javy when Jake tried chatting up a pretty blonde who turned out to be married to an admiral. I wonder what happened to her….did she survive that night? Did she last a week? A year? Is she out there now wondering about the country like us?

With my eyes closed I can still picture the news coverage. The initial confusion filling my veins followed by a rush of anxiety that what I was witnessing was real. Then the panic erupting from everyone in the bar. Some rushed out immediately, likely rushing to get to their families. All of us who stayed did our best to board up the windows and doors with whatever we could find. Those of us with weapons in our cars were all so nervous about using them for the first time. Poor Bob didn’t know how to handle his gun and Mav being the saint he is, helped Bob when chaos was happening around them. Just picturing myself that night…shooting a person that didn’t even look human trying to break through the barrier. The revolver in my hand shook by how horrified I was and when I looked at Nat she mirrored my expression. I forgot what happened to my little revolver…it lasted me a good six months into the outbreak before we snuck on base and stole everything we could.

It’s crazy how everything changed in the blink of an eye. One second we’re all celebrating the success of an impossible mission, the Navy’s best fighter pilots. The next…we’re fighting for our lives in a war we only saw in movies. For the first year as humanity attempted to adapt to the new reality, we all traveled across different areas of the country to find our families. Radio and communications were lost early, with the only relying source was to go to our homes and see if they were there. Unfortunately, we never found most of the team’s loved ones. And those we did were already turned or on the brink of. I’ll never forget Javy’s face having to put his parents out of their misery. Same with Nat to her siblings. The only people we found who were healthy and joined our expedition were Bob’s cousin, Mickey’s brothers, and my sister, Jamie. While there was joy finding them, it came with heartbreak.

We lost Omaha first, then Harvard and Yale in one night. Fritz was shortly after marking one year of the outbreak when we thought a building was clear and turned out a stray was lurking underground. Every now and then I’m surprised Rooster and Hangman haven’t killed each other. In the beginning they were always butting heads on what to do, with a knife being pulled out one time that ended with Mav threatening to send them on their own if they couldn’t get their act together.

I’m still mad about losing Hondo, Halo, Penny, and Amelia—It wasn’t even one of the bastards who got them, the damn war between the army and these militia groups has taken more lives nowadays than the virus. The large cities are where most of it happens—and unfortunately we happened to be passing Vegas during turmoil. The conflict arose in the months after the outbreak. It’s understandable really—everyone was pissed that the government failed to prepare after it was revealed they had knowledge that a possible deadly virus would be on the loose. But it’s gotten out of hand. Too out of hand.

I know Mav hasn’t been the same since Penny died. Maybe that’s why he’s not looking too panicked at the idea he could be reuniting with her by the end of the day.

Nothing good came out of that night besides stealing military armored vehicles. That’s made traveling from coast to coast easier with the new jobs we’ve taken up. Fightertown, the once home of Top Gun, is now our base of operations. We’re currently in Seattle with the plan to leave for California tonight, but I won’t be making that drive. Not when I’m already feeling the changes in my psychological well being shift. Jaime is now 16 and I want nothing more than for her to survive this damn apocalypse—to go on and actually live the life she deserves. Not waking up every morning with the fear it would be her last. She’s been traumatized enough with everything she’s seen and I know it’s going to be difficult for her without me. But she’s the strongest girl I’ve ever met. She can survive this all. And I know the squad will take care of her. They’ll keep her safe until their final breath.

That last mission I’ll keep close to me even after I’m gone. They’re my family—my only family I’ve known for the last seven years. We’ve survived so much together. And I pray that whoever stands above all will keep them safe from here on out. Maybe one day they’ll see the world how it once was. That’s my last wish for them.

To find peace.

6 Hours later

Twirling the match box in her hand, Lt. Y/n ‘Pepper’ L/n, relished in watching the sun make its descent on her final day of life. The colors were beautiful, painting the sky an array of pinks and oranges. Sunsets in the Pacific Northwest were always beautiful. She was glad she got to witness another one last time.

She was sitting on the steps of a courthouse, the others inside behind her going over plans or packing the vehicles. Jaime was tossing a ball she found with Mickey’s brothers, giggling when it accidentally hit one of them in the head. Trying to remain composed, she closed her eyes and breathed in the air. It almost felt fresh and clean. Not the polluted with lingering decomposition of human flesh scent she was accustomed to.

No. Tonight it was nice. Actually comforting with the cool breeze of the wind.

“Twenty minutes we’re out,” Jake called from the doorway. “Pep, we need ya in her’.”

“Alright,” she signed, pulling herself up and putting the match box in her jacket pocket. Making sure the clothing was zipped all the way, Pepper cranked her neck to make it look like she was stretching, all while fighting the urge to twitch. Adjusting her gloves next she grabbed the canteen of water off the step and moved inside where the team were holding up. The teenagers behind her raced in after, only to receive some looks when they made a lot of noise.

When scouting the area for refuge the squad checked the surrounding proximity for any undead. Big cities were hives for them, and one loud noise such as an explosion or a simple blast of a shotgun could trigger a mob. Since they started their cargo transport ‘business’ they’ve mastered avoiding the undead when traveling to populated cities.

A moment passes, everyone glancing around for the sounds of disturbance. When nothing happened they visibly relaxed and signaled it was okay to talk.

“Sorry,” Ray, the oldest of Mickey’s two brothers, mumbled.

“It’s okay, buddy,” he told him, “Just remember to be careful next time. Okay?” The teen nodded, moving to sit next to Sammy, and Bob’s cousin Allison.

“What’s it looking like?” Nat was the first to ask, Bob coming to stand in front of the table with the large map displayed.

“The gas we have in the trucks will last us till the Oregon-California border. Portland is four hours from here, and then it’ll likely be another four or so to the border if we don’t run into any trouble. We’re gonna have to stop to refill the takes and then we can either decide to haul it to Sacramento— where I’ve already notified the base camp there we’re planning to stop so they’re getting stuff ready for us—or we can try to find a place at the border to rest.”

“I say we go to the base,” Javy said, rummaging through his pack for a snack. “I wouldn’t trust the border—could be scavengers hiding out for passerbyers.”

“Yeah, but Sacramento’s being hit with conflict,” Payback pointed out with a tired sigh.

“But if we haul for the long run tonight then it should die down by morning. You know how it is…It’s at night these things usually happen.”

“Both of you are right,” Rooster steps in, frowning down at the map with his arms crossed. “We stop at the border we could be ambushed, but if we go to Sacramento we’ll walk right into a war.”

None noticed how quiet Y/n was, fidgeting with her thumbs as they discussed. There was no need for her to give input. Not when she was gonna be likely dead within the hour.

“Well we need to decide,” Nat says sternly, the exhaustion evident in her tone. “I want us to be out of here in fifteen minutes—so either we vote, you two rock, paper, scissors it or we flip a coin.” Rooster almost considers it but then turns to the oldest member of their squadron.

“What do you think, Mav?”

The former pilot blinked several times, not realizing his name had been said and quickly recovered. Pepper’s anxiety rose…he was showing signs. “I-I yeah..I think you-we, we should go to Sacramento.”

‘Fuck,’ Y/n dropped her head in silent thought.

The others didn’t seem to notice the slip up and continued on. “Well that settles it,” Jake clapped his hands, “Let’s finish packin’ up and get the hell outta her’.” There was distress expressed by those who were worried about what lay ahead in Sacramento. For Y/n, her heart was racing by what she needed to do next.

“Jaime,” she called her sister over softly, the teen coming to stop in front of her. “How are you doing tonight?”

“Fine,” she drawled with a shrug. “Not looking forward to being cooped up in a van for the next eight plus hours…but I plan to sleep the entire time.”

“Good,” Y/n brushed some hair behind Jaime’s ear, letting her gloved hand softly liner against her cheek. It was shaking lightly, but Y/n managed to not let her sister notice. “Me too. That sounds like a good plan. I uh—,” she reached into her pants pocket, removing a small booklet. “I’ve been hanging onto this for a while and I thought you should have it. Maybe you can keep it safe since I almost lost it when we were in Denver.”

Jaime took the booklet, examining it. “What is it?”

“Open it and find out.”

Doing so, Jaime felt tears spring in her eyes when the booklet revealed Polaroid photos of not just the team from the past years, but ones of her and Y/n’s family. “W-where did you get this?”

“When we found you back at the house and after I….I won’t say,” she was referring to having to shoot their parents and brother who had turned. Jaime was hiding in the attic when they found her, malnourished and living off of rice cakes and water. “But I went through the house to find things that were sentimental. And well, I made sure to grab photos so we could always remember what they looked like.” Y/n felt a bile of emotion in her throat, swallowing it down. “It’s yours now. Take care of it.”

Jaime closes the book and wraps the thread around it to keep it together. Then her arms go around Y/n’s waist, causing her to stumble a bit, but hold her sister nonetheless. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll keep it safe. I promise.”

The booklet was the last piece Y/n had of their family. All it contained were the photographs. Keeping their memory alive as a happy one rather than the painful last image of having to execute them to put them out of their misery. Only a few times a year Y/n would flip through the photos, and read over the handwritten notes of her mother and father she found. Now it was time to pass them to Jaime. So she could have them and also remember Y/n.

Pulling away from the hug, Y/n places her hands on Jaime’s shoulders and looks deep into her eyes. “Promise me something, kiddo.” The teen gave a short nod and Y/n took a sharp breath. “Promise me that whatever happens to me, you’ll always fight. You’ll move forward and continue to survive. Promise that you won’t give up no matter what happens okay?” Jaime appeared taken aback by the request, not liking the idea she may have to one day continue without her sister. “Promise, kiddo. I need to hear you say it.”

“Why are you asking me this now, Y/n?”

“Because It would bring me peace knowing you are going to be okay,” Y/n offers a small smile. “I want reassurance you would never give up just because I’m not there. You’re stronger than that. And I need you to promise me you will be.”

Eyes still watery, Jaime sniffs and gives her sister a nod, “I promise I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can, kiddo. For you to try,” she brings her into another hug, feeling eyes on her and looks up to see Maverick with a sympathetic expression.

He knows.

“It’s you and me against the world, right?” Y/n holds her close, resting her head on top of Jaime’s, who then repeats, “You and me against the world.”

“Go wait in the van with the others while we finish up here,” before sending her off, Y/n places a comforting kiss on Jaime's head with the soft whisper of ‘I love you.’ The teenager wanted to question her sister’s behavior, but followed the order anyway despite the feeling in her gut starting to form.

Once Jaime, Sammy, Ray, and Allison were outside, leaving just the squad, Y/n’s voice echoed against the silence, “I can’t go with you.” Everyone stopped what they were doing, Maverick off to the side with his hands on his hips and all of them waiting for the former pilot to say she was joking. Holding her hands together, she keeps her gaze on the floor.

Jake scoffed, “Now’s not the time to joke, Pep. We’re leaving in five—.”

“I’m not going,” she snaps, “I can’t go.” Her arm twitches, catching the attention of Rooster, who unconsciously takes a step forward causing her to move back. “Don’t get close to me, please,” she falls to a whisper, letting her eyes drift up to find the mixed reactions from her friends. Some were ashen—already understanding what she was trying to say while a couple appeared confused, not yet catching on.

“Y/n…” Nat’s tone becomes strained. Not wanting to accept the possibility.

“I’m sorry,” she looks at each of them, but Jake just shakes his head and demands, “Show us.” Removing the gloves first, Y/n’s hand trembles as she reaches up to unzip her jacket, shrugging it off her body to reveal the veins taking up the entire right side of her body. Her tank top showed where it was heading. They crept just halfway up her neck, meaning she was far into the infection that she only had a few hours before she fully succumbed.

“Fucking hell,” Jake turned away as Mickey and Bob immediately went distraught. Rooster and Nat simply remained frozen.

“When did this happen, Pepper?” Payback gently asked, trying to contain his reaction. All of them were already feeling the impending loss, and were all thinking the same thing: Who’s gonna be the one to do it?

“Eighteen hours ago…”

“During that ambush at the Hospital?” Javy was next to question her.

“Yeah,” she sadly replied, moving her hand a bit to show the bite. “Fucker that tackled me from the side got me as I was knifing him.”

“And you kept it from us?” Jake shouted, anger in his eyes. Y/n remained calm, knowing his reaction was justified. “This whole time you knew you were infected. And you didn’t say a word until now. Why?”

She tilted her head like it was obvious, “what the hell was I supposed to do, Jake? What would have you done? Shoot me right there?” She saw him still, making her scoff, “Forgive me for wanting a few more hours of peace with you guys and my sister before I end things.” Now that had everyone, minus Mav, eyes to go wide. Again she scoffed, “You really think I was gonna let it consume me? Or put one of y’all in the position to kill me? No,” she shakes her head, “no, I wanted you guys to be off to California before that happened. Honestly I would’ve just left hours ago with no word to spare you all, but…you probably would’ve searched for me.”

Some had to look away at that. She was right, they would have come looking for her. Even if they feared she had turned they’d at least want closure instead of wondering what happened.

“Seven years though,” she tried to laugh. “Not bad when you think about it. Would’ve hoped to make it to ten but life surprises you in mysterious ways. Now I’ll just have to root for Y’all on the side lines. I’ll kinda be pissed though if they somehow find a cure within the next month.”

No one knew how to respond. Quite frankly they didn’t want to. They were all dealing with having to adjust without Y/n going forward. Some didn’t want to accept it.

“Pep, we can try to figure something out—,” Nat tries to say, but Y/n spins to face her.

“What? figure out what, Nat?” She gestures to her arm. “I’m too far gone, okay? I have less than six hours at most—I won’t make it to Sacramento. And even if I were to….they’ll shoot me the second they see me. I’m not letting Jaime see that.” Y/n faces Rooster with a desperate look, tears threatening her eyes. “She doesn’t know,” she could see the heartbreak in his gaze.

Over the years Rooster and Pepper had grown close. At first it was just solely due to the connection they formed in the Navy which grew more at Top Gun. But when the end of the world is happening and there’s not many people in your life….things tend to happen.

They never put a label on it. At no point referring to the other as their ‘partner/significant other,’ but at night they’d bunk together. Rode in the same trucks. Had each other’s six. Sometimes they’d get involved in more intimate scenarios….. Maybe one can call it love, but they had a deep respect and admiration for each other.

“Take care of her for me,” she tells him. “Promise me you will.”

Rooster doesn’t hesitate, “I will.” Y/n swallows, nodding with thanks before adding, “She may fight you when she realizes you’re leaving without me. Sedate if you have to. Keep her from trying to come back.”

They had just gone to an abandoned hospital to retrieve supplies. It was where Y/n, and possibly Mav, got bit. In their search they got plenty of medical equipment including sedatives.

“I’ll do it,” Nat says, bringing a hand up to wipe her eyes. There were tears already escaping. The woman goes over to one of the backpacks and pulls out a bottle with a syringe to prepare it just in case she had to use it. Her hands were shaking, and before she knew it Mav was crouching beside her to take the syringe and do it himself.

“Here,” he hands it back to her, now full of the liquid. She thanks him softly before placing it in her jacket pocket.

At that moment an ugly screech fills the space, many reaching for their weapons in time to light up the undead that wandered in. Another one followed, and lastly a third, all dropping to the ground with bullets filling them. The rapid fire of the sound had Ray come rushing in to which Mickey yelled, “get back to the truck now!” They could hear faint noise in the distance, coming from the direction the three had run in from.

“There’s gonna be more. They must’ve snuck in from the sewers and came through the back,” Payback said in a rush, scanning for any more that could be lurking. “We gotta go.”

“But—,” Bob raised a hand to Y/n, who cut him off by saying, “I can hold them off. Buy you some time,” she paused a bit, looking at her shotgun and then said, “Leave the diesel.” She was referring to the large containers of diesel gasoline that had been on the streets. They didn’t know what to do with them since none of their vehicles took that type of gas. Y/n saw them and instantly thought of a plan.

“What the fuck are you on about?” Jake asked when she started to cut into the containers to let the liquid leak onto the floor.

“I’m gonna drown them in diesel,” she says sarcastically, making him glare. “I’m gonna fucking blow the place up, Jake. Do you want to sit and watch or are you gonna get your ass in that truck and make it tomorrow?”

He doesn’t answer, instead he marches up to her and pulls her into a near bone breaking hug. “I’m gonna miss you, Pep. You’re the best fucking wingman I could’ve asked for.”

Y/n’s lip quivered, hugging him back. “Don’t get sentimental on me now, Seresin,” she attempted to joke. “We both know you’ve been wanting to get rid of me for a while.” She feels him shake his head, though he chuckles.

“Never. You’ve been the glue of this team. I don’t know how we’ll get through this hell without ya, but we’ll try.”

“Thank you,” she pulls away, seeing a stray tear fall from his eyes. “Take care of each other.” He squeezes her shoulder that’s not covered in veins, patting it before stepping away.

“Let’s get a move on.” Everyone takes turns saying goodbye to Y/n and gathering their packs. There’s not a dry eye in the room, Nat holding onto her tightly and not wanting to let go.

“C’mon, Phee,” Y/n’s tone is soft, “you rise from the ashes. You’ve been doing it since I’ve known ya. You’ll get through this. I know you will.”

Nat whimpers, wiping her face as she says, “You better save me a drink up there. Because we’ll have a lot to discuss when I join you.”

“That’ll be years from now,” she assures her, pulling away from the hug, “But I’ll have your favorite ready to go when that happens.”

It was hard with each goodbye. Reuben and Javy understandably made theirs quick. Mickey said how he was gonna miss sharing the excitement with Y/n when he would find an old comic book. Sweet Bob’s face was bright red as the tears ran down his face unapologetically. “I’ll never forget you, Y/n.” She choked back a sob as she replied, “I would hope not, Bobby Boy.”

Rooster’s hug lasted longer than the others, kissing the side of her head lovely as he whispered into her ear, “Thank you for everything. I promise I won’t let anything happen to Jaime. You can count on it. And Y/n…I-I just want you to know that I lo—.”

“I know,” she cups his face, staring into the beautiful hazel eyes she adored. “I know, Roo. I’ve known for a while. And I feel the same, always have.” He wanted to kiss her one last time, but the infection had a chance of transferring through saliva and they couldn’t risk him getting it. It pained him that he couldn’t offer one last kiss to her.

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, making them narrow in confusion. “Mav, what are you doing?” The question came at the sight of the older man cutting into the containers and bringing the gas further out to the hall where they could hear the approaching noise increase. They had maybe less than two minutes before they had company.

Mav threw his bag down as he pushed away the empty canister. “I’m staying.” The reaction was immediate.

“The hell you—!”

“I’m infected too,” at the gasp from Nat and stunned looks from everyone, besides Y/n, Pete bent down to pull up his pant leg. When he did the same ugly veins coated his skin. Then he lifted the end of his t-shirt, revealing more. “I don't have much time either.”

The reaction from Bradley could best be described with one word: agony.

“No,” he rubbed his face before his hands went to his hair. “No. This can’t be happening.” He wouldn’t accept it. Losing Y/n was one thing, but also losing Mav—his second father, in the same night? His entire soul was being ripped apart.

“Bradley—.”

“This can’t fucking be real!” Rooster shouted, not caring the tears were falling from his eyes. “Not you too!” The sounds from the distant hallways were getting louder, Payback and Jake rushing to close the doors of the room they were in to block them off before pushing desks and tables in front of them. It wouldn’t last much, but it’d at least buy them some seconds.

“Guys we really need to go,” Jake rushed out, pushing Coyote to the door. “Now! We can’t stay here!” It was a scene of distraught. They were now faced with the reality of losing both Y/n and their team leader. Fear of the incoming undead is what made them not break down right then and there. Nat knew once she got in the van she’d would lose it.

Rooster was already starting to break down. His face was red and riddled with tears, breathing heavily as he tried to fight back against Payback and Bob’s grip. “Don’t do this to me, Mav! N-no! Fucking dammit-I’m not leaving them! Mav! Please!”

“I’m sorry, kid,” Pete removes his dog tags and tosses them to Bradley to catch. He doesn’t know how he caught them, but the action hurts him even more. “You’re gonna be okay. I’ll see you again one day.”

“Don’t fucking tell me that! I don’t want that, Mav. C’mon—we were supposed to survive this together!”

“I know,” Mav sighs, green eyes red from crying. “I’m sorry, Bradley. But you’re gonna have to do it without me.” The former pilot releases a heartbreaking sound, making Y/n put her hand to her mouth to cover her sobs.

“Rooster, we have to go!” Reuben tells him sadly, practically shoving his friend backward. “I’m sorry, man, but it’s over.”

“Don’t make us have to sedate you, Bradshaw,” Jake threatens with an unreadable tone. He hated doing so, but if they didn’t leave in the next ten seconds they were about to be sitting ducks for a mob of undead.

“Mav!” Bradley screams as they finally get him out the door and out from their sights. Y/n is having to catch her breath from how hard she was crying. Seeing the man she loved in such a state did absolute destruction to her heart.

“Give these to Jaime,” she removes her own dog tags that were around her neck. She passes them to Natasha, who was the last in the building and fighting back the urge to collapse. “I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too,” Nat sobs, glancing between Pepper and Mav. “Both of you. I-I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t—this shouldn't have happened.”

Y/n just sighs, trying to smile at her friend, “It was an honor serving with you, Nat.” She sees the woman let out a shaky breath, nodding before turning on her heel and racing out of the building. When the trucks started she felt some relief, feeling more of it when the sound of them driving off could be heard.

Now it was just her and Pete.

“When did you figure it out?” She hesitated to ask, finally looking up from the ground she had been staring at for a good five seconds.

“When I noticed you were quieter than usual,” he replied, then asked, “What about you?”

“When you kept messing with your pants and checking if someone noticed.”

“Yeah,” he cracked his neck, then said, “I take it you got something to light this place up?” Instead of answering, Y/n removes the match box from her pocket.

Together they pull two chairs into the middle of the floor, facing the doors the undead were currently running for. A loud bang indicated they breached whatever obstacle in their path. It would be maybe thirty seconds before they arrived. Sitting down, Y/n opened the match box to find two cigatters hidden with only one match.

“How fucking ironic,” she chuckled, removing one to place between her lips before offering one to Maverick. Though he didn’t smoke, the occasion called for it so he took the tobacco and allowed her to light it with the last match before doing the same to hers.

Leaning forward in her chair, Y/n inhaled deeply before releasing the smoke, “What do you think we’ll find?”

“Hopefully…peace,” he breathes out, smoke filling the air. “But I hope to find my parents, maybe Ice and Goose. Hondo. Penny and Amelia,” his voice turns softer at the last couple names. “But mostly I hope to find peace. You?”

“The same,” she gives a small smile, leaning back in the chair as the noise gets louder. Fifteen seconds. “I sorta hope to find The Hard Deck. Maybe that’s where everyone is waiting for us.”

“That would be nice,” Mav agrees. Ten seconds.

Y/n gulps, “Mav?” The growls and moans were closing in.

“Yeah,” he says calmly. Five seconds.

“It’s been an honor serving with you.” He takes her hand in his. Three.

“The honor is mine, Pepper.” Two.

The cigarette bud flicked from her hand at the same moment the doors busted open. One.

Nothing could describe the flooding of anxiety that filled Jaime L/n when she heard the commotion from inside the courthouse, followed by the guys practically dragging Rooster out. Javy, Jake, and Mickey hopped into the armored van in front of the one she was in where Mickey’s brothers were. Meanwhile Bob, Payback and Nat were coming to the one she and Allison were in, hauling Rooster who was in evident distraught.

“What’s happening?” She said aloud, receiving no answer as Bob and Payback threw Bradley into the back seat, with Nat hopping in after them. Payback immediately got into the driver's seat with Bob in the passenger. Turning around to the courthouse, Jaime awaited Y/n to run out with Maverick. But neither came and she realized Payback was starting up the vehicle. “Where’s Y/n? And Maverick?” When none answered, only hearing the light cries from the former pilots.

This time with her blood running cold, she asked in a more demanding tone, “Where’s my sister? Wha—what are you doing!” She shouted when the van started to move, following behind Jake and the others. “Wait!” She turned in her seat, still no sight of the two. “No! What are you doing!? Stop—my sister’s still in there!” When Jaime turned back to scream at Payback to stop the van, she was met with the heartbreaking eyes of Natasha, who simply extended her hand over the seat to hand over something. Snatching it, Jaime felt her entire world collapsed seeing it was Y/n’s dog tags.

“N-no,” she croaked, lifting her gaze to Nat to find she was shaking her head. “No…”

“I’m sorry, Jaime. She was bit—.”

“NO!!” Jaime screamed, turning to look at the courthouse in hopes it was a joke and Y/n would run after the van. “You’re lying! She would’ve said something.”

“Honey, she didn’t want you to know—s-she was gonna have to leave us eventually.”

The teenager wailed at the news. Not wanting to believe her sister would send her off without saying. Not without a goodbye. Now it made sense why she was asking her to promise her all those. It was because she knew it would be the last time they saw each other. Jaime cried at the realization.

She slapped the seat, “Go back! Go back now! I won’t fucking leave her there! Ple-ease!” She hiccuped, beginning to crawl over the seats so she could get to the doors. Immediately Rooster was taking a hold of her, causing her to thrash. “No-fuck you! Let me go! That’s m-my sister! Please, Rooster—we have to go-oo back!”

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” he shot Nat a look when she removed the syringe, mouthing, ‘not yet.’

“No-no-no-no-no-nooo,” she cried, fighting against him but to no avail. “Please! Don’t leave her—go back!

They were some distance away, but still in sight of the courthouse when an explosion rattled the ground. Jaime got enough away from Rooster’s grip to look up and see the building was on fire. “NOOO!!!!” She broke down in despair, falling against the man who just held onto her as his own tears rolled down. Everyone in the van was in the same state, Payback was gripping the steering wheel so tight and Bob had his head in his hands.

Jaime just kept screaming and crying, occasionally fighting against Rooster and at one point her panic attack became too much that Nat had to sedate her when she actually threw a punch at him. He wasn’t angry or upset of course. He understood exactly what she was going through.

Both of them just lost the only family they had.

It would be an image that would haunt them forever. The ablazed courthouse where their friends layed. They didn’t want to picture what they looked like, instead focusing on their final days. Where Y/n was dancing with Mickey to an old song that came on the radio. Where Maverick was showing the teenagers how to change a tire in case the vans were to break down. The nights by the fires reminiscing on what it was like before the outbreak. Shooting pool and darts at the Hard Deck, before it became a graveyard to the undead.

Those things are what they would remember. The feeling of warmth and nostalgia from reliving those memories would help them in their grief. They were in denial at first, then angry, followed by bargaining as they asked, “it should’ve been me.” The depression lasted a long time. Mostly for Rooster and Jaime who had trouble adjusting to life without their loved ones. The nightmares were horrible, keeping them from getting sleep. Jaime went from an optimistic, bright, teenager to cold and detached. It took some time before she reached the final stage of grief: acceptance.

It was roughly two years after Y/n died that she understood why her sister didn’t tell her during that final conversation. Why she made sure she was out in the van before she realized Y/n was staying behind. It was so Jaime could remember her in a healthy, happy, light. So she wasn’t faced with the devastation of seeing her become undead.

Everyday she wore her dog tags, fiddling with them whenever she became anxious. The days she felt lonely and depressed she’d glance through the booklet with all the photographs Y/n had gifted her. Shortly after the incident Jaime discovered Y/n’s notebook with all her entries starting from the day after the outbreak, to the most recent being the one six hours before she died. Jaime felt her heart break and repair each time she read an entry. She cried a lot at the one detailing the day the squad found her, where Y/n spoke of how she had to execute their infected parents and brother. There were entries that made her laugh, some made her angry—especially one talking about the night they lost Halo, Hondo, Penny, and Amelia. It was so unfair how it happened. The team was just trying to get through Vegas and bombs were going off due to the conflict between the army and rebelled militia groups.

The last entry, Jaime trailed her fingertips over Y/n’s handwriting, hoping she would feel closer to her sister. Feel her warmth again, hear her laugh, see her smile. She wasn’t the only one. Every now and then Jaime would catch Rooster looking at his own Polaroids with Y/n and Mav.

Years passed. Summers turned to fall and then winter and spring. The tenth anniversary of the outbreak came and went, with their group losing Javy, Ray, Bob, and Allison along the way. Jake died around the fifteenth, with Mickey not too far behind due to an injury to his leg. They finally decided to stop their ‘transport’ business when that happened, no longer able to do the work they once were able to as Bradley, Nat, and Rueben were all approaching their fifties. Jaime was now in her thirties and had met a nice man on their travels, falling in love when she never thought it was possible.

She wasn’t the only one to find love. Nat married, so did Payback though neither had children. Rooster was the only one to not do so. Even when it was obvious men and women they met in their travels expressed attraction to him, Bradley denied their advances. When asked he simply said, “I had my love. There wasn’t anyone like her and my heart won’t belong to someone else. She took it with her when she left.”

Rumors started to spread around the twentieth year that the new generation of children being born were immune to the virus. Pregnant, Jaime felt a mix of fear and hope at the thought her baby was immune. Hope that maybe a cure could be discovered, but fear at what the government planned to do with the children. Surely they were ripping them from their families to be taken to testing locations. Immediately Jaimie, her husband and the remaining squad members with their loved ones they found and created all went into hiding in Fightertown.

Humanity began to rebuild in the 25th year. An announcement was made just shortly after the outbreak anniversary that countries working together were able to create an effective vaccine. It was to be distributed immediately, with no human being denied the access to be cured. Jaime had just had her second child when they got it. Within six months every remaining human had received the vaccination.

Finally, after 25 years. They could breathe a sigh of relief.

The team remained in contact despite going their separate ways. Rooster traveled back to Virginia where his parents rested, sending a vintage postcard to Jaime when he arrived. Nat and her husband remained in San Diego, Reuben and his wife traveled to Colorado. Jaime, having seen every inch of the country, ended up landing in Washington state. She didn’t go to Seattle, it was still too painful, but she went close to the Canadian border.

The reason: the sunsets.

“Look at how the sky just lights up. So many colors—a beautiful array of orange and pinks,” she heard Y/n’s voice when she closed her eyes the first time she sat on the porch steps of her new home, the sun descending on the horizon. “I’ve seen many sunsets in my days, kiddo. But nothing compares to the ones on the PNW. They by far are the most mesmerizing to look at.”

Breathing in the fresh air, the most refreshing she’d ever inhaled now that she was away from most of civilization as the cities were being rebuilt, Jaime felt the weight finally lift from her shoulders. “You and me against the world, right kiddo?”

“You and me against the world.”

Acceptance. It was finally here. Jaime thought she had accepted her sister’s death ages ago, but really she had pushed it to the back burner to focus on other things. Never did she truly accept Y/n’s death, she just adapted to it like everything else.

Being able to come back to Washington, the place she lost her sister, and watching the sunsets she knew Y/n loved is what really brought Jaime peace.

She finally reached the final stage of grief.

40 years later

The bright welcomed Jaime with warmth spreading throughout her body. Gasping, she opened her eyes and glanced down to find she was no longer sleeping in her bed with her children holding onto her hands. Instead she was wearing an old flannel she remembered she loved as a teenager, with light wash jeans and converse. Her hands were no longer wrinkled and rail, she felt like she was back in the body of her young self.

Ocean waves filled her ears, and when she turned around she found the sea ahead with a familiar building she only knew by the memories her sister would tell her.

The Hard Deck.

All around was a hue she couldn’t explain. It was bright, almost luminescent with the sun’s rays beating down. Something in the building was calling to her.

“Go,” a voice said. She didn’t recognize it, but it was telling her to go inside. “They’re waiting for you.”

Her feet carried her across the parking lot. No cars were there which made it unusual for a bar that read ‘open’ on its glowing sign. Still Jaime approached the door, hearing the faint sounds of conversation and music. When she pushed the door open, the music stopped and she was frozen at the sight before her.

The whole Dagger Squad were dressed in their service khakis looking the same as they did the night of the outbreak. Penny and Amelia were behind the bar, where Mav was seated with Hondo, Warlock, and Cyclone. Ray, Sammy, and Allison were by the jukebox, beaming at Jaime and her heart picked up at the sight of her husband of nearly 50 years beside them. The Dagger Squad were smiling. Especially Rooster who looked young and handsome again, throwing Jaime a wink as if to say, ‘about time you showed up. We’ve been waiting ages.’

Heart beating, she felt the emotion surge in her causing tears to prick in eyes. Jaime’s eyes drifted over, bringing a hand to her mouth when they landed on her parents and brother seated in a booth, her father standing from his seat.

She wanted to rush over to them but something was stopping her. Almost like she needed to see one last person before she could.

And there was only one missing.

Before the name could leave her lips, Jaime heard her voice. After years of wondering if she had found peace, the answer came with a simple greeting of, “Hey, kiddo.”

……………………….

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan, @caitsymichelle13, @poppyalice2001, @cutelittlepotatofry, @luckyladycreator2, @americaarse, @elenavampire21, @back-tooo-black

[aeoki]

Atlantis - Underwater: Chapter 4

Location: Okinawa Restaurant Characters: Touri, Yuzuru & Wataru Season: Winter

TL Note:

This is an Okinawan sweet deep-fried bun similar to a doughnut.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ< A few hours later. A new Okinawa restaurant located in the ES neighbourhood. >

Wataru: I see! So that’s what you talked about while I was away!

Thank goodness it was a topic I have no interest in!

It makes me sad to be left out of the loop, but I wouldn’t have to feel that way if it’s a topic I’m uninterested in!

Touri: You should take an interest in it – it’s something important.

Wataru: I don’t particularly care what becomes of ES. To take it a step further, I’d say I don’t care what becomes of the idol industry!

What I deem important are the stories spun by those I have an interest in and those who fascinate me. That is where my interest lies.

Eichi has a habit of excessively talking about those sorts of topics, so I thought it would be best if I gained the necessary political and economic knowledge to understand the things he says.

Touri: That’s like what a sports fan would say if it’s a sport they’re not interested in.

Wataru: A fitting expression! Amazing! ☆

Oh, I shall order this soumen – the fine white noodle dish.

Phew, today’s performance was rather rigorous and I’m exhausted. It seems I only have the stomach for something easily digestible.

Touri: You’re talking like a human being for a change, Hibiki-senpai.

Yuzuru: Indeed. It’s also rare for you to eat with us.

Wataru: Hehehe. I figured I should keep up to date with the things you’ve discussed.

Deepening our bonds over a meal as fellow members of the same unit once in a while is rather nice, isn’t it?

Touri: Eichi-sama had to leave earlier since he had something work-related at his parent’s home, though.

Yuzuru: It appears Eichi-sama had made the wrong choice. He must have felt the need to choose a replacement for the young master in great haste.

Touri: Uuu… Isn’t that too fast? I still haven’t given him a proper answer yet.

Wataru: What do you mean?

Touri: To tell the truth, it seems Eichi-sama wants to let me manage one of the branch offices related to “Project-ATLANTIS”.

He said he needed someone like a boss there and that he wanted it to be someone skilled and trustworthy.

Wataru: I see, I see? By appointing someone who will be his arms and legs to manage the branch office, Eichi’s ideas will reach every corner of the country…

Yuzuru: That’s right. It seems that’s the reason why he selected the Young Master.

Wataru: A boss at one of ES’ branches, huh. That’s a very surprising choice for someone so young.

Why did you turn him down, Himegimi?

Touri: I–I didn’t! But I was lacking sleep and in a pathetic state, and we even talked about how busy I was with the student council election…

That’s probably why Eichi-sama decided I couldn’t do it… He must have thought that he couldn’t push more things onto my plate.

I’d be fine with it, though. If it’s something that Eichi-sama believes I can do and wants me to manage, then I definitely would’ve worked super hard to meet his expectations.

Wataru: He must’ve had concerns about you pushing yourself too far, Himegimi. You collapsed during “SS” as well, so he must have thought that you might really be in danger this time.

Touri: I–In my eyes, that was the biggest blunder of my life too!

But did Eichi-sama lose faith in me because of that? Because I collapsed…?

Wataru: No, no. It should be said that Eichi is beginning to repent. He realised the responsibilities he had given you were far too heavy.

Touri: So, that’s basically saying I can’t be given anything to do because I’m useless!

Yuzuru: Young Master, we’re in public. Please keep your voice down.

Touri: I know. …Oh, sorry, I’ll have a sata andagi[⁎], please.

Wataru: You’ll gain weight if you eat a lot of sweet foods. Well, having some weight on your bones makes you nice and squishy and that’s rather adorable in itself.

Eichi has been working himself to the bone as of late and looks rather gaunt, so I’m beside myself with worry.

Yuzuru: Putting on weight is a lifestyle disease so that also worries me, though.

Touri: Hmph. I’m stressed so I need to release it by eating something sweet.

Yuzuru: Hehe. If it’s a concern that you can forget by simply eating something sweet, then that would be wonderful. I shall overlook it for today.

Touri: I think it’s going to be on my mind for a while, though… In the end, I didn’t accept it but I heard all the details.

If I had more time for it… if I had grown stronger and more impressive, then maybe I would’ve been involved with that sort of big undertaking.

I think this feeling of regret will go away soon enough. No, actually I think I’ll regret it forever.

Wataru: Isn’t it too early to give up?

Touri: What do you mean?

Wataru: Like I said, if you have regrets, or rather, if you’re interested in that matter, then all you have to do is to ask Eichi to let you be involved in it.

You seem to think Eichi’s decisions cannot be reversed no matter what, but that’s not true at all.

I’m sure if you ask him sincerely, then it’s unlikely that Eichi will say no.

That’s how important you are to him. That’s why he tried to involve you in that plan of his.

Yuzuru: After all, he said he wanted to leave it to someone he trusts. I’m sure there aren’t many people Eichi-sama can think of in situations like those.

Wataru: That’s what happens when you decide to lead a life that provokes antipathy. Himegimi, you should work hard to not be like him in those aspects.

Touri: Okay… Judging by how the student council election is proceeding, it just feels like I’m just doing what Eichi-sama did, though. 

I didn’t know I was antagonising everyone…

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