#and it wasn't my first time donating btw so?? what happened??

[forgotten-daydreamer]

oh funny story, last week i reached new levels of "i think i'm a bother 24/7" because i waited too long to tell the nurse at the blood drive that i was feeling unwell. i waited like a whole minute (which is too long. too long when donating blood.) before looking at her and going "i'm not sure, but i think i don't feel good?" and i passed tf out with a bp of 90/60

[fictionismyreality3]

CAN YOU GIVE US MORE OF JASON STALKING?? I SWEAR TO U, IS REALLY HOTTTT AAAAH

I loved your writing btw

Omgomgomg hi babes!!!! You’re my first ask ever!!! You’ll forever have place in my heart 🥲 but really that is so sweet of you, and toTALLY STALKER JASON IS SO HOT HERE YOU GO

A Little bit of Sunshine

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: stalker!jason todd, innocent!reader

Warnings: stalking, mention of drugs

Notes: I’m actually dying at picturing getting stalked by Jay 😩 like that should not be hot but it is??? If people like this I might make it into a mini series or something 👀

He was going to stop the first night.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Since Jason had come back from the Pit, being alive was something of a nuisance. Whatever weird ass magic they used to bring him back to life had made it harder to control himself in every way. He went on a year-long violent rampage, much to Bruce’s disdain, that left Gotham in shambles.

Only now was he actually putting a good face behind the name of the Red Hood. It’s not like he wanted to hurt people, but when everything was so vivid, it was hard to listen to Bruce’s non-lethal policy. But as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted Bruce to trust him again.

So, when Dick was called out of Bludhaven for some other crisis, Jason volunteered to help with patrol.

It was the third day of what was supposed to be a week-long shift in Bludhaven, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Sure he had broken the legs of a few robbers when they tried to run from him, but it was all in good fun.

In fact, Jason was dying for some fun. Bludhaven was somehow even darker and dingier than the rest of Gotham, and it was getting tiring only having drug dealers to play with. The rain was coming down, casting a foggy overcast to the darkening sky, and most of the sane residents had retreated to their homes. Everyone who had ever been to Bludhaven knew that nighttime was when the dangerous criminals liked to do their work.

Which is why Jason was a little astonished that a seemingly random girl was stupid enough to walk home in the dark.

Living in Bludhaven wasn't ideal, but the rent was cheap and that's all that mattered. You had been working at a donation center for the homeless for the last few months, wanting to help out the city in any way you could. It wasn't that you were trying to be a hero or something, you just didn't like seeing other people suffering. It also helped that volunteer work looked killer on a resume. The staff loved you, and quickly entrusted you with the keys, giving you the last shift of the night.

You usually walked home with one of your co-workers, a woman in her 60s named Rose. It wasn't the typical company for someone your age, but her never-ending stories were nice to zone out to after a long day of work. Rose was sick today, which meant you had to walk home alone. Looking out the window, you saw that it was already dark. Definitely not ideal. But, you had made the trip hundreds of times and knew all the shortcuts to get you home quicker.

Jason watched as the girl walked down the dimly-lit streets. He was going to just leave it, and let you learn your lesson the hard way, but then he took a second glance at you.

He thought the Pit bringing him back to life was the closest thing he'd ever get to seeing heaven. But now?

Now he knew he was dead wrong.

A soft face with pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty everything. Jason felt his heart beat inside his chest with a vigour that betrayed the dead man he thought he was. All of the lonely, unclear and dangerous thoughts in his head suddenly vanished. His breaths were heavy and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the pretty little thing walking all alone. He felt like there was blood flowing in his veins again. He felt alive.

If you were walking alone at this time of night you were either innocent or stupid, and the innocence was practically rolling off you in waves. You were far too sweet for this place. His eyes scanned the logo of the bag you were carrying and his heart exploded and regrew in his chest all at once. The kind face you had made sense if you were generous enough to work at one of Bludhaven's seedy donation buildings. His mouth went dry at the idea of anything remotely distressing happening to you.

Fuck it.

He was just gonna make sure you got home safe. That's all it was.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Jason silently followed you as you walked home, watching from above like a twisted guardian angel. He was always on high alert, he was raised to be vigilant, but he found himself paying extra close attention to every single movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. Logic was telling him that if he was going through all this trouble to make sure a random girl was safe, he should just jump down from the roof and walk you home instead of watching like some-

Oh, that was cute.

Jason's gaze followed your hands as you pulled your keys from your bag. The fabric keychain they were attached to was dotted with tiny drawings of the sun. He hadn't even realized that you'd gotten home. Perching on a rooftop, he kept you in his vision while he quickly scanned the area where you lived. It wasn't the best, nothing in Bludhaven was, but at least it wasn't at the south tip of the city.

You had finally gotten home after a long day. Oddly, the walk didn't feel as scary as you expected. Sighing, you took out your keys and unlocked your front door, slipping inside your apartment. After making sure your door was locked, you kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket, a yawn falling from your lips. You were definitely gonna call it an early night.

The soft clicking of your front door shutting brought Jason's attention back to the present. You obviously got home safe. He should get going. He should get going.

But he stayed rooted on the spot.

The rain fell around him, hitting the concrete rooftop he was frozen on. His helmet suddenly felt claustrophobic and he took it off gasping, the rain soaking his hair. The cold rush of despairing thoughts that he had grown used to flooded back into his brain. His heart grew still in his chest and he felt his smile disappear.

He had smiled?

He hadn't smiled since the pit. He hadn't smiled since he died. You retreated into your apartment and took all the sunshine with you. The sunshine that hadn't been able to reach his skin for years. With a sickening thought, Jason realized that he was about to make a very, very, very bad decision.

Who was he to deny himself happiness? Didn't he deserve to be happy after everything he had been through? He argued with himself as his gaze remained on your front door, trying to will himself to push away the wickedly possessive desire that he felt for you. Jason ran through all the possible outcomes that could come from.. whatever this was, but nothing held a match at the prospect of having you. He had to have you.

Fuck it.

Locking away the part of his mind which screamed at him to stop, he leapt from the rooftop, landing softly on the balls of his feet. Carefully, his head on a swivel for anyone walking by, he took out his phone. His finger hovered over the photo button, his mind telling him that if he did this, there was no going back. He snapped a photo of your apartment.

As he made his way back to the safehouse he was staying in, he could feel you being cemented in his mind. Every raindrop that hit his skin felt like it was washing away everything that he thought was important until only you remained. The image of your precious face became ingrained in his mind. By the time he got back to his safehouse, the only goal he had was to know as much about you as he possibly could.

He was already at his computer, his helmet tossed to the other side of the room. His clothes were still soaked from the rain, but he didn't care. This was more important. You were more important.

Using Bruce's tech, being careful not to leave a trace, he uploaded the photo he had taken of your apartment and began to run a search. Within less than 5 minutes he had everything he would need to keep you for himself. Your school records, social media posts, and more were at his fingertips. He took the liberty of adding himself to your bank account, hacking in so he could be aware of every transaction you made. Soon he would be the one making them for you.

Jason spent the night scrolling through your information. For once he was glad for Bruce's training, as his disciplined mind allowed him to commit everything about you to memory. His eyes burned from lack of sleep, and he was vaguely aware that it was well past 3AM, but he was enraptured reading your search history.

How to change a lightbulb?

Cute.

As soon as he could get a copy of your key made you would never need to change a lightbulb again. Every so often he would come across a photo of you dressed up for some event; a christmas party, a graduation, whatever. When he saw those photos, every doubt that was trying to creep back into his mind was pushed away by his increasingly twisted desire for you.

Jason knew he had gone off the deep end, but if this is what drowning felt like he would gladly let you kill him all over again. When he went to bed that night, he fell asleep knowing you now belonged to him.

And you didn't even know it yet.

[thedisablednaturalist]

I spent all my spoons today cleaning. I got all my laundry baskets out of common areas, put all my clothes away folded and organized, and put some clothes in a box for donations. I had vacuumed most of the house save for the dining area and kitchen where my parents were even though it was hurting my hands. I've also been feeling faint bc I haven't eaten in a while and beginning 3 hours before dinner my mom gives me shit about eating and I didn't have any reserves left hidden in my room.

So I go with the vacuum to finish cleaning and open the gate (we have gates to each room to herd the dogs) and immediately my mom is freaking out bc I'm "letting the dogs out". I wasn't. Her screaming at me however startled me and I accidentally knocked over a pill bottle onto the ground which then further sent her into a fit of anger confusing me. This was while I was trying to close the gate as her yelling made me think that was the priority. Literally her screaming caused me to not see the pill bottle being picked up by one of the dogs. I thought her further yelling was bc I had almost knocked over the treat bin trying to figure out what the hell i was doing wrong. And she wasn't yelling anything helpful btw, just yelling at me to STOP and that im KNOCKING EVERYTHING OVER.

My dad eventually stepped in and grabbed the pill bottle and told me directly what happened and that I needed to watch where the hose was. This was much more useful to me than my mom screaming and insulting me.

When I tried telling this to my mom she told me to shut up and I said I'm done and left the room. i heard her yell that shes not giving me dinner and shes tired of being threatened?? I never threatened her??? I just said im not going to do it if shes going to yell at me. Thats not a threat thats me using boundaries.

So now im hiding in my room feeling faint and confused and overwhelmed. I hate that she's using food to control me. Whenever I try to go get food or cook something she gets mad and tells me I don't eat her dinner bc I want to only eat takeout and waste my money. She thinks that everytime i don't eat dinner i sneak out and get takeout somehow?? No i literally just starve in my room and eat after she's gone to bed if I haven't passed out by then (she stays up late).

And my dad says i cant be yelling at her bc it sets her off but most of the time im not I do have a loud voice and sometimes i raise it when shes yelling because im trying to defend myself and im frustrated and i dont handle being yelled at well. She is always the one to raise her voice first. But apparently im just supposed to be quiet and accept her yelling and insults and horrible words. I try to walk away but that just pisses her off and shes come in my room and screamed at me before which causes me to panic and scream at her to get out. Like i know im traumatized and i cant just suppress that panicked reaction when faced with the source of it.

I hate the way she treats me and makes me feel like im just a spoiled adult teenager bullying their poor mother and i have all this guilt and self loathing. But then when I tell my friends what happened they get super disgusted and upset and i see how mothers are depicted in media and i see my friends mothers who arent also abusive and i see the differences clearly.

[eddieydewr]

You know stantwt has rocks for brains when they see someone say "he had a conversation with us 2 times about us being the only fans there and asking us to take pics and signing and stuff" about noah and understood it as "he had to beg 2 fans who came to his event for pictures" (@hooyosnotproud and @pynchyaoi r being idiotic and wording exactly that! Bunch of close-minded black and white thinkers). Like how the hell would you interpret 2 TIMES AS 2 PERSON?? Even little kids who aren't fluent in english wouldn't interpret it like that 😭 Like I genuinely don't know if people on that app has their brains overly rotten from talking about stranger things way too much that they're now incapable of having the most basic understanding and comprehension of the things they read or they're just being stupid on purpose and twist someone's words so they could go with that narrative of how much of a loser noah is. One of the people who was actually there said there were like 50 people at the event and it wasn't even a meet and greet. Like they could go hate on him idc, but the way they're spending way too much time and energy making false narratives about celebs they hate INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING TO HELP OUT is pissing me tf off. Like go share masterlinks, share donation drives, watch youtube videos wherein the revenues from the ad go to the Palestinian organizations, encourage others to boycott brands that finance the Israeli government. But no they decide to make fun of someone instead and think that that's enough activism. I see videos of Palestinians especially kids being killed, injured, and traumatized and my first thought wasn't to mock a fucking celebrity but to look for ways on how to help out and idk curse, insult and say all the bad things known to existence about the IDF and the prime minister who ACTUALLY DO THE KILLINGS themselves. I haven't seen anyone who tell the IDF and the prime minister to fuck themselves off and to kill themselves like what they do to celebrities btw. Seems like these people's priority is to hate on celebrities rather than to help which is sad because Palestine is suffering right now and what they're doing isn't productive.

lmao i think i saw the tweets you’re talking about. acting like it was a comic con when it was something to do with startups and entrepreneurship? not exactly a meet and greet with an actor when he was there for the TBH brand. and you’re right; none of it helps palestine. not even when they tag noah in tweets containing gory pictures and videos of palestinian victims. completely counterproductive and noah never alluded to wanting palestinians to die, and being gleeful about it. whatever they seem to think of noah, he is not that kinda person. they’re just determined to hate on him and assume the worst 🤷🏻‍♀️

i notice millie is getting a lot of accusatory comments about not caring about what’s happening, and being an UNICEF spokesperson, she ought to do better 🙈 girly isn’t even on social media. whereas there’s barely anything for finn and stan twitter LOVES to complain about him every 5 business days because he’s friends with “problematic” people. none of it makes sense.

i know i keep saying it but online activism just pisses me off.

[ben-talks-art]

Let's talk about entitlement

A couple of weeks ago I discovered that a voice actor from my country, an incredibly popular figure that is known for voicing super big roles such as Superman, Samurai Jack, Optimus Prime, Coop from Megas XLR (my favorite dub from the dude btw, he absolutely kills it!), and also acting as the voice for many popular actors such as Jim Carrey, was cast to play the role of Future Devil in the Brazillian dub of Chainsaw Man.

Now... I myself have not watched anything dubbed in my home country in eons, in fact, the Puss in Boots 2 movie was the first time in a while where I saw any form of media dubbed with Brazillian voice actors, if only because I wanted to see this thing as soon as possible so I just rushed to the nearest cinema I could find, and sadly Brazillian cinema doesn't show animated movies in their original dub...

So anyway, I wasn't exactly going "OMG!! Superman is gonna voice the "the future rules!" guy!!!" or anything like that. I was mostly just going "Oh, neat!", but after watching Puss I was kinda curious to find out how the whole Brazilian Future Devil thing went and... Ugh...

Apparently, the voice actor got a lot of hate on Twitter because they didn't adapt the line from the manga in the same way it was done by the fan translations... I repeat, people got angry at the actor because the line was different from the FAN TRANSLATIONS! And he received so much backlash from the watchers that he decided to drop out of the show and thus won't be returning for a future season.

Cool...

So... Let's talk about entitlement a little bit

Let's just assume for a moment that there is a girl you really, really like (I'm using "girl" but just replace it with whatever works for you), but she couldn't care less about you, so you try to make yourself look better, more desirable, more "worthy" of her by, let's say... Having a very well-paid job, or being someone who donates a lot to charity, or paying for the surgery of her grandma, or finding the cure for cancer, or ending world hunger... Let's just assume you did everything you could to be considered the most perfect person ever...

You're still not entitled to that girl's affection, appreciation, or even attention if she doesn't want to give you that.

Entitlement is the mentality of "I earned this, so I deserved it!"

But the fact of the matter is, unless you're paying someone for a job, and they agree to it, nobody really owes you anything.

(Although I guess one could argue that you're also owed your parents' support in order to survive since they're the reason you're here at all but... I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to talk about this so casually.)

But long story short, entitlement is this idea that you should have things done in the way you want them to be, just because you convinced yourself that this is how it should be.

I mentioned before in my Makima post that I really don't like this mentality because it works to make people think they have power over something they have nothing to do with.

This happens a lot with fanbases. Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, Chainsaw Man, Star wars... There are so many pieces of media where the public will go "this isn't how I wanted" or even worse "this isn't how it is supposed to go!" as if they were the creators or something.

They use arguments like "I complain because I care!" but in reality, it isn't about caring. This isn't about displaying your love for an IP you care about, it's about you not being able to handle a reality different from what you wanted.

It's basically the premise of the movie "Misery" where this one fan wants to act like she knows the story better than the actual author.

Now... Thinking that you deserve something even though there is nothing that says you technically do aside from your own belief is already bad enough, but it gets even worse when people use it as an excuse to act violently.

Harassing a voice actor and making him give up on his job just because a line was changed is just beyond silly. It's not the fans' duty to tell how a story should be told, same way it isn't right for fans to harass an actor just because they played an unpopular character in a live-action performance like it Happened with Rose in Star Wars, or telling someone they should kill themselves just because they made a joke about an infamous ship in Chainsawman.

It's even weirder in Chainsawman's case because part 2 literally starts with someone getting so much harassment by their classmates that it makes her want to die, which just makes me wonder if people are even trying to pick the messages of the story they are consuming.

Bottom line, entitlement is ugly. It is in my opinion THE ugliest mindset anyone could have.

It makes people perform actions out of selfishness, arrogance, anger, and it only works to spread pain and misery. It makes you look at other people as objects that only exist to satisfy your desires and makes you forget they have feelings and that they can get hurt, all because they happen to want to do something you disagree with.

If someone writes a story in a way you don't like it, you're not entitled to attack that writer. If someone performs the role of a character in a way you don't like it, you're not entitled to attack that actor. And if someone has an opinion about a piece of media that you disagree with, you're not entitled to attack that commenter.

You NEVER have a reason to attack anyone. Trying to put others down just to make yourself look big, ironically, doesn't make you look big! It just makes it look like you don't have enough faith in what you stand for and are too afraid that someone might prove you wrong.

Entitlement and aggressiveness are huge symbols of insecurity, cowardice, and immaturity, because people who truly believe in what they believe in, don't resort to harassment so fast just because a different point of view showed up.

We only attack when we feel threatened, when we feel someone is trying to hurt us or trying to take something important from us.

Attacking should only be reserved for self-defense, or the defense of someone who can't defend themselves (and even then I feel like there is a whole other grey area of debate on how to know who needs and should be defended and from whom, which I really don't feel I have the skills or maturity to properly talk about myself).

A random line on a fan translation of a popular manga that got changed when the official dub came out... Is just not a good enough reason to feel threatened, and not a good enough reason to attack someone, even if it's just an online attack.

We all know the line, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything!"

Unless someone is asking for your opinion, unless someone is paying you to speak and make a criticism or provide some sort of honest feedback, or unless you're being harassed first, you are NEVER entitled to use your words or body to try to harm someone!

You are free to live your life in any possible way you want, as long as no one is getting hurt from it.

...

At least in my opinion...

I am not a psychologist, or psychiatrist, or a psychic, or any form of expert in the field of the human mind.

These are just my casual thoughts about a... Not so casual topic, but I feel it's important to be talked about nonetheless because I feel not many people seem to realize how big of a problem entitlement really is, and how it seems to be getting worse as the years go by as the media and internet keeps making us feel like we have more power over other people's lives than we actually have.

Just... Try to think twice before you get that sudden urge to want to complain about the way something is or how someone is acting just because you don't agree with it. Think a little about who might be getting hurt from it and if it's truly worth it getting so upset about it.

...

Anyways, this was a downer talk... Anyone seen Puss in Boots 2 yet?

[jenosdaemi]

memories | alternate ending

AN: This is the alternate ending of Memories. Please read the first part of the fic here in order to understand whatever’s happening in this version. The story linked above is still the original ending, this is just as per request of my audiences that I hurt in the original plot IM SORRY OK Btw this is definitely not proofread, excuse any grammar and spelling errors. Please enjoy this ya softies.

wc: 2.7k

Jaehyun is at the NICU. Sitting in front of an incubator. His mind is everywhere, almost losing his sanity.

He hates how he’s thinking of the worst-case scenario. He hates that he feels like he wasn't given a chance to process what’s happening. He was told a lot of information about his son and wife, but all he understands is both of your lives are in danger. This overwhelming amount of responsibility and stress is weighing over him.

What happened? Everything was okay yesterday. You even ordered a bassinet online and now he’s expected to prepare himself for losing the son he's always prayed for and the woman who holds his other half. He couldn't imagine how his life would turn out, let alone actually live that life.

“I need you to hang tight. Fight for us, fight for your mom. She’ll want to see you when she wakes up.” He sobbed as he carefully rubbed his son’s tiny hands.

A soft tap on his shoulder made him lookup. A doctor and three more doctors are standing in front of him. “Is there any news? Is it about my son? How’s my wife?”

The doctor gave him a sad smile, “First of all Mr. Jung, we would like to ask the name you’d like to give your son.”

Jaehyun remembered how you immediately agreed with him to name your son Yoon Oh, the memory comforted him somehow.

“Yoon Oh. Jung Yoon Oh. My wife and I agreed about it beforehand.” Jaehyun shared.

The doctor nodded and wrote it down in his notes. “It’s a beautiful name. Now, about Yoon Oh’s situation.” Jaehyun felt his heart pinched with worry. “As we expected, his bilirubin level in his blood is so high that we could almost immediately diagnose him with jaundice in one look. We also found out that his blood is incompatible with his mother’s blood group. This problem requires blood transfusion from someone Yoon Oh’s compatible with.”

“I will donate my blood. Take as much as you need, he won’t be needing a lot right? I mean he’s just a baby.” Jaehyun rambled while lifting his sleeves up, showing his arms as if they could take his blood right away.

“We’d have to check first if you are compatible with your son. About the Jaundice, we’d have to do more tests to know if we’d have to do medication through IV or phototherapy.”

“IV? You’re going to stick needles in him? But he’s just a baby.” He repeated.

The doctor was about to say something when the monitor started making a beeping noise.

“He’s seizing.” The doctor mumbled to himself and quickly assessed the situation. “Vfib. Okay, I need another hand to set up an Ambu bag.” They pushed Jaehyun to the side. He watched them put their two fingers on top of his baby’s chest and do compressions.

Jaehyun clasped both of his hands together tightly, his fingers now white. He’s so worried, he feels sick, like he’s going to throw out.

Half an hour later the beeping noise didn't stop beeping, but the doctor and nurses eventually stopped moving. One of the nurses turned off the monitor, shutting off the flatline tone. The doctor glanced at his watch, “Time of death. 4:28”

“No.” Jaehyun mumbled to himself, eyes are bloodshot. “He’s not dead. My son’s not dead.”

“I'm so sorry for your loss.” He sincerely apologized. He explained a lot more medical issues but he stopped listening. No matter how much they explain things to him, it will not bring back the life of his son.

“Protect your mom, son. Help your mom get through this. She loves you more than anything. Thank you for making us happy and hopeful, even just for a short time.” He whispered to the glass incubator.

His head remained on the incubator, whispering comforting words to his lifeless baby. Jaehyun desperately fulfilled his duties as a father in the last moments of Yoon Oh’s life.

“Mr. Jung?”

Jaehyun couldn’t remember how many times his heart stopped beating whenever someone from the hospital called his name.

“Yes?” He whispered, eyes are on his baby.

“About your wife.” The nurse started. Jaehyun snapped his head up and jolted up from his seat.

“What about her?” He could hear his loud heartbeat. Every millisecond without an answer is breaking his heart inch by inch.

“Her aneurysm was safely removed and is now in the recovery room. She should be safe from harm now, but we would still like to check up on her every hour.”

A sense of relief spread through his chest. His knees weakened, making him sit back down on the chair. “Oh, thank God.” His voice cracked and buried his face in both of his hands. “When is she going to wake up?” Tears are pooling around his eyes.

“She should wake up within a couple of hours. When that happens, we would like for you to call someone to check on her.”

“See your wife Sir Jung. We’ll take care of your son.” Yoon Oh’s doctor told him, giving him a sympathetic smile. He nodded and thanked them.

“Thank you, son.” Jaehyun whispered one last time and ran up to your room.

~

It has been a month since you lost your son. Jaehyun was hurt but he could only imagine how much more painful it is for you. The time you get to hold your baby, he’s already cold and lifeless. No matter how much you cried and begged, no one could turn back time. The fact that you have never seen your son alive is what hurts you the most. There are times that you would just cry out of nowhere and would not stop crying for an hour. Jaehyun felt so helpless, your cries are like needles piercing his heart. He’s in pain too, but someone needed to be the stronger one between the two of you. And he chose to be the one giving strength.

“I was so close to becoming a mother.” You cried.

Jaehyun tightened his hug on you. “What are you talking about? You are still and forever going to be Yoon Oh’s mom.”

“A mother without a child! Is that what you’re calling me?! You don’t understand what I’m feeling Jaehyun!” You pushed him away.

Jaehyun is starting to tear up, “I understand every tear you shed Y/n. I lost a son too. He died right in front of my eyes! I saw him struggle, I saw him in pain! I am hurting too Y/n. I know it’s hard, but you have to help me so we can move on together.” He hugged you again and this time he held your head close to his chest and his arm was around your back.

“What did we do wrong, Jaehyun? Don’t we deserve to have a child? Am I a bad mother? Didn’t I take care of him enough?”

His heart broke again. “No, love. You’re not a bad mother and we took really good care of him while he’s in your tummy.”

“Then why? Why is this happening to us?” You cried harder, unable to comprehend the tragedy that happened to your lives.

What is he going to say? He shares the same questions. He’d rather be told that both of you are never going to be parents of your own child than being given a chance to start a family just to take it back.

You suffered from postpartum depression. Jaehyun went with you to each counselling you went to. You are slowly getting better but there are still times like that you break down, but Jaehyun helped you to cope with it and you do the same for him.

It’s been half a year. You and Jaehyun gave up trying to have a baby and you will not deny how much lighter you’re feeling now. Although part of you still hopes, at least now you gladly accepted your faith and closed that chapter in your life.

There are times that Jaehyun would go to the baby room that both of you decorated and would smile sadly to himself. He has his own regrets too, baggage that he carries around without letting you know. But like you, he stopped hoping and tried looking at the brighter side: That he still has you, that spending the rest of your lives with just the two of you is not so bad.

“I hope your recovery will continue. Both of you have been so strong and all you need to do is to stay strong.” Your therapist told you and Jaehyun as she walked the two of you out of her clinic.

“Thank you so much. You have been a great help to me and my wife for the past year.” Jaehyun said, shaking her hand.

While your husband and your therapist were talking, someone caught your eye. There’s a little boy- no more than two years old- in the middle of the hallway, crying. Your instinct kicked in and you immediately walked up to him and softly talked to him.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s alright. Do you know where your mommy is? Are you lost?”

He stopped crying for a second and looked at you before shaking his head.

“Hey babe, you found yourself a new friend?” Jaehyun gently put his hand on your back and gave the little boy a smile.

You stepped closer to your husband and whispered, “I think he’s lost. Let’s just bring him to the nurse’s station-” His small soft hand on yours stopped you from talking.

The gesture made your heart melt. You crouched in front of him to level yourself with him. “Let’s go to the people that can find your mommy, okay?” The boy nodded.

You stood up and extended your hand to him which he immediately took and looked up to Jaehyun as if waiting for him to give his hand too. Both of you exchanged a look and smiled sadly at each other before he took the little boy’s hand.

The three of you walked down the hallway to the nurse’s station. It was quiet but comforting. Jaehyun could feel your longing and he couldn’t help to feel the same.

Once you reached the nurse’s station, you immediately told someone the situation and was going to leave the little boy there when he hugged Jaehyun’s leg.

Your husband looked at you with begging eyes. It is obvious that he doesn’t want to leave him there. And when the nurses went to take him, he started crying again. You and Jaehyun looked into each other’s eyes. You nodded before speaking.

“Uhm. I think we’re just going to stay here until we find his mom. Will that be alright?” You asked them and they gladly let both of you hang out there while they made announcements about the missing boy.

The three of you played rock, paper, scissors and other games just to entertain yourselves while waiting. The boy is just laughing with you and your husband. Until someone called his name.

“Junghwan? I am worried sick!” A lady in office attire went up to the three of you.

“You must be his mother.” Jaehyun said, standing up to introduce himself. “I’m Jaehyun and this is my wife. She’s the one who found him crying in the middle of the hallway.”

“Oh thank you! I brought him here for a check-up, and I was just talking to his doctor when he walked out on me.”

The lady was going to take him but to everyone’s surprise, the boy clung to you while still holding Jaehyun’s hand.

“Mama.” The boy said, burying his face on the crook of your neck.

“Hunny, I’m not your mama. Your mama’s here, look.” You shifted your body to show Junghwan the lady.

“I am not his mother. I am his social worker. Junghwan is an orphan.” The lady said with a sad smile. “He’s just a year old when we got him in our care. We pulled him out of an abusive home and from his drug addict mom. His mom took him back just a couple of months ago but just died in an overdose last week. It appears that our Junghwan right here has separation anxiety and autism.” She rubbed the boy's head down to his back. “It’s hard to find families that will adopt children in our care and it’s twice harder if the children are ‘broken’”

You took a glance at your husband and you caught him wiping his eyes. He felt it too.

“What should we do to adopt him?” You asked nonchalantly as if you were just buying groceries.

Jaehyun snapped his head towards you with a surprised look but was wearing a tiny smile on his face. The social worker also looked so surprised but regained her composure almost immediately.

“Are you being serious?” The social worker asked, making Jaehyun and you laugh.

“I’m sorry I could have asked it in a better way, but I am serious. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and we have been trying to get pregnant in all of those years, but we never got blessed with it until last year. Unfortunately, there had been complications with my pregnancy and I lost our baby right after he was born.” Telling your story now doesn’t hurt so much like it used to. Jaehyun is nodding beside you, eyes are on Junghwan, watching him slowly drift to sleep.

The social worker smiled at you. “I am so sorry to hear what happened to your son. About the adoption, well there are a lot of things to start with. You’d have to get certified as a foster parent first, only then you can start and apply to be Jungwan’s foster family and take him home.” The lady took out something from her bag, “Here’s my calling card. Contact me and book an appointment so I can help the two of you in the process. But before you call me, talk about it yourselves. Plan this. Make sure within yourselves if you really want this.”

Jaehyun took the card and the social worker gently took Junghwan from your arms, before bidding each other goodbyes.

The drive back to your home is quiet but thick. Both of you wanted to talk about it, but both are also saving it for later. The moment you got home, Jaehyun went straight to the kitchen to get himself a drink and you were going to change your clothes when you walked past the baby room.

You haven’t been into that room for a year and something in you urges you to go in. You walked closer to the door and opened the knob. Your eyes wandered around the room. All the stuff remained untouched as if someone is still using it.

“Maybe there’s a reason why we never had the heart to give these away.” Jaehyun spoke behind you. Your lips turn to a smile, as you look at the name ‘Yoon Oh’ on the wall.

You turned around to face your husband and hugged him. You remember the feeling you felt earlier with Junghwan. Your heart just felt at peace, complete and healed. And you were certain that Jaehyun felt the same too.

“Junghwan. He is the reason.” You said and took the calling card from Jaehyun’s pocket and handed it to him.

Your husband smiled and took out his phone to dial the number.

“Hi. How are you? This is Jung Jaehyun and I’m with my wife. We are the couple you met at the hospital earlier. We would like to know more about Junghwan and how the process of adoption works over a cup of coffee perhaps?”

You looked into each other’s eyes as he talked on the phone. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead and put strands of your hair behind your ear. Jaehyun is over the moon and so are you. Both of you felt your heart piece by piece putting itself back together, everything feels like it’s going to its rightful places.

You’re going to be parents.

Thank you for reading!! And please do let me know which ending you liked better :’)

Memories | J. Jaehyun

[wigglebox]

If you don’t mind me asking, what didn’t you like about the leaked script and why are you so convinced it’s not real? Especially with filming locations, casting, etc matching up with it pretty perfectly so far. No hate, I swear. I’m just genuinely curious. I read it and loved it, although I do hate that it was leaked in the first place.

hello! sorry for the delay! wasn't gonna answer this bc i've ignored the other asks in the last couple of months but i realized that i never really, i think, explained why i hated this leak so this is going to be my one and done.

the tl'dr is if you consider yourself a fan of SPN, jackles, dee, robbie, whoever is involved, you would forget that script leak ever happened, forget that "script" exists, and just wait until we see shit on our TV. don't give energy to people who think they have some kind of right to share things that aren't theirs and getting attention off of it.

this isn't the leaker's baby. this is jackles, robbie, and dee's baby and when the time comes to see what they've done, THAT'S when we can appreciate it.

elevated sodium levels under the cut

first and foremost, talking about this leak, acting like it's real, acknowledging it, and spreading it around — to me — means you're not really a fan of jackles, dee, robbie, etc etc.

they had a bad leak last summer and it caused a lot of stress.

why would a pilot script leak be any less damaging? Truly? It frustrates me that so called fans of theirs would take a script like this, and be it real or not, wave it around claiming it is.

why would you want to risk something like that? why would you spread this around? why would you give it to anyone? why? like again, in my eyes, you're just not a fan and don't actually support them, you're just looking for clout

*i'm using the royal You/Your btw because idk where this thing got started and i don't care to find out.

But whoever started it, to me, they aren't fans, they don't care about this show, they don't care about the people involved. They're selfish. Plain and simple.

As for the script itself.

I didn't see the whole thing, but from what I read off of like, 4 pages [because I too am not perfect and was curious when i saw it briefly on Twitter]

1) It doesn't read like Robbie at all. I don't mind the details included in it, but the actual writing itself is bad. Like from just a technical, standard screenwriting perspective it's bad. It reads like someone took fanfiction and adapted it to a screenplay with no care in the world.

There are actual Robbie scripts on the superwiki you can read. It reads nothing like this. And yes there is some time between those scripts and this, but usually you improve as a writer. I have read an old Jerhico script from him and it was average, and his SPN scripts were fantastic and he really found his style of writing and voice.

This "leaked script" doesn't read like it. It doesn't even read like the person who wrote it even tRIED to imitate him. And maybe it's a draft — who knows — but all I know is it read more as a scratch board for ideas rather than a normal, Robbie Thompson script. He's better than that.

2) It's too long. Things get edited down, yes, which is why obviously... idk I read somewhere it was a network draft? Lord I hope not. That should be the first draft. Like THEE first draft that you dump all your ideas into and flesh out. But regardless, things are going to get cut from it. Someone told me how many pages it was. It's way too long.

3) I HATE i despise this post-finale attitude of information gathering. Secrets this, connections that, carrot dangling, blahblahblah. And this script only adds to that.

Getting SPN scripts isn't out of the realm of logic, again the Superwiki has a bunch. But those episodes aired. We know what aired vs what we got in the yellow pages, green pages, final draft, production draft, etc etc. Those were sought out, bought, awarded in charity auctions and donated.

getting script leaks for a show that hadn't even started filming its pilot yet, and not even made to series order yet, and peddling it around like it's something good? No. That's bad.

All it does is fuel whoever started this to keep doing that bullshit.

Also, personally, i'm annoyed because people do keep talking about it like it's real. But no one can possibly know that unless Robbie or Jackles or Dee came out themselves and said that.

And I just get really frustrated people talking about this show already and acting like this script is real because you should NEVER ever ever read a script and assume that's how you're gonna see it on TV before said episode airs. if this was actually a network draft, it's so far away from what we're going to get on-screen word for word, shot for shot because it is too long! [again, that's an estimation, I was only told how long this thing was when I asked]

So I don't like this leap folks are already taking like 'oh they cast this person as this character so the script must be real!'

like no.

always always wait for it to air, and then find the scripts.

and for the love of god, stop trying to information hunt at the detriment of peoples' ACTUAL hard work.

it's rude, it's selfish, and it leads to bad attitudes across the board.

this isn't the script leaker's story.

this isn't theirs.

this is jackles and robbie and dee's story. this is THEIR hard work. it shouldn't be leaked (again!) because someone felt entitled to do so like last summer.

it's not the leaker's work. they're just being dicks and want attention and I don't feel like as a fandom we should give it to them.

spoilers used to be fun, like, oh a set picture from a set stalker! oh clues in interviews, ohblahblahblah. now it feels like a competition and did since the end of season 15. and that's just bad. and leads to more pushes for more information before things air or happen, and that's when things turn sour REAL fast.

so yeah. I'm sorry I'm talking in a circle now.

but basically yeah, like my tldr: I don't like the pilot script leak thing because there's no way to actually confirm everything in it is real until the pilot airs. it's not the leaker's hard work and efforts; they contributed nothing to this.

it's just selfish.

and I find it very sad.

[nonny none of this was directed at you, this is just a general rant]

[a---fire---inside]

I am not Ukrainian and even though I suffer and get angry and worried every time ruzzians do something bad in Ukraine, which is on a daily basis, because they are monsters, my anger and pain and worry is nothing compared to what Ukrainians feel every second of their lives.

What they don't feel, on the contrary, but I feel very strongly, is shame. Because I feel ashamed every time some Italian ass*ole politician or so-called expert justifies ruzzia's terrorist actions. Or when them and their followers spread telegram based conspiracy bullshit where putin (with his buddy trump even) and ruzzia are the good guys or even victims.

I feel ashamed every time some leftist intellectual sympathizing with ex soviet union and claiming to know better than Eastern European countries that used to be a part of it, blames Nato or the USA for provoking ruzzia into a 'proxy war', completely deleting Ukrainian victims' suffering, or their brave fighters' heroic actions. Or when they call ruzzia's aggression of Ukraine 'conflict', not saying who's the invasor and who's the invaded side. Or when they turn their heads away from destroyed civilian structures, r*ped children, mass graves, and give their support to other causes, other countries, other oppressed populations, preferably that receive no support from the USA/Nato, even better if they oppose the USA/Nato& allies, even better if ruzzia has nothing to do with such 'conflicts' (it's more likely that they are involved but they don't know, as those ass*oles are everywhere).

I feel ashamed every time so-called pacifists whine that the real problem is 'weapons' and ask to stop sending weapons to Ukraine...as if by doing so, by preventing Ukraine from f*cking defending itself and its ppl, ruzzia would automatically stop as well...the same ruzzia that f*cking bombed Kyiv the day the UN secretary was there. Or whining to make peace pls, but only whining to Ukraine, never to f*cking ruzzia itself. Or wondering how they got to that point in 2022, how it's possible to have a war in Europe, not understanding whose fault it is, as if it wasn't clear that ruzzia invaded Crimea first, then Donbas and then went full out invasion of the whole Ukraine.

I feel ashamed every time some impartial or neutral individual feels sorry for Ukrainian ppl having to escape abroad to not be tortured, r*ped and killed by ruzzia's terrorist genocidal actions, but also for ruzzian men escaping mobilization, as if they weren't totally ok with war as long as they weren't forced to do it with their asses out of the sofa and in a tank. Or when NGOs that should be impartial are totally proruzzia instead, minimizing their crimes like IAEA, accusing Ukraine like Amnesty International, or, like Emergency, asking the Italian government to stop sending weapons to Ukraine "for peace", conveniently forgetting that if Ukraine stops fighting Ukraine won't exist anymore, while only if ruzzia stops fighting there will be peace.

The same Emergency, btw, that in 2018 was given the copyright of the song Non Mi Avete FAtto Niente by Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro.

Both singers disappointed me very much, saying very vague things against the war, not taking a clear position aganst ruzzia and supporting Ukraine, not getting involved in donation campaigns. And now not taking position against Emergency, which like Amnesty International took ruzzia's side with their affirmations. So now idk if they don't take position bc they want to be safe (in case ruzzia wins? it won't happen anyway. Are they afraid to go against the prorussia higher ups in media, and that this will f*ck their careers? Uhm...), bc they don't care, bc they think it's nato's fault and some more bullshit propaganda theories for intellectuals, bc they are a part of this fake 'pacifist' movement that is totally blind about how ruzzia is behaving and what is happening.

For me it's really shameful and disappointing to know that artists I used to follow, and one I still follow, aren't vocal about this horror. Especially since they wrote a song against terrorism and violence, exactly what ruzzia is doing in Ukraine. Especially since one talks about freedom so much, the same freedom Ukraine is fighting to have back.

For months I told myself that it was impossible that they were indifferent. That probably they were helping in private with donations. Because they are good people...but silence helps the aggressor, and talking about donations spreads awareness among fans, which leads to more donations. Every day I open their ig accounts and see if I missed something, if they said something, because every day something horrible happens in Ukraine and ppl die so if a celebrity just said one vague thing in February it's not enough, attention must be kept high always. But every day I see nothing.

The difference with Maneskin is evident. And I don't even care about Maneskin, but I appreciate their effort supporting Ukraine materially and morally, taking a clear stance and showing their fans where's the right side.

It's not just Meta and Moro, it's clever ppl like Max Gazzé, Daniele Silvestri, Carmen Consoli (who condemned a vague dictator, as if there is only one in the world right now), Paola Turci, Fiorella Mannoia (but she found the time to support Kurdish fighters which is very cool. and it would have been cool to also support Ukraine and condemn ruzzia). It's pretty much the 99% of the Italian music scene, as well as actors and the show business elite.

It's shameful and disappointing.

[larriefails]

I was scrolling thru ur blog & I just read that post u made about Harry being more 'palatable' to Larries but that they don't really love the real him, could u elaborate on that a little more? Ur one of the only antis that's willing to accept Harry's sexuality instead of pushing it aside & only focusing on him & women & I think it's impt to bring that to the discussion as well. Ls really pushed Harry to be open about smth he probably wasn't ready for so early, that & the biphobia, whew chile

I’d written so much and tumblr just ate it up ugggh

Okay, here we go again. There’s so much to unpack

First of all, I want to clarify, because this has happened before, that I’m not comfortable with you implying I’m the “Not Like Other Girls” of antis. Don’t compare me. I like those blogs, so..

Second of all and in the same vein, I don’t think I’ve seen any antis that are not willing to accept Harry’s sexuality. None of them are out there calling him straight, if that’s what you’re implying (at least none that I’ve seen)

Third of all, I think you don’t realize how hard it is to maintain a line with a blog like this one, where people come discourse about Larries (especially when you yourself are bisexual). I was ecstatic when Harry expressed those parts of his sexuality because I’ve been a fan of his since my early teens and it’s just really cool to see yourself somewhat represented in someone you’ve loved so dearly for so long. But I understand that I have a responsibility to not project my own feelings and desires onto him, and especially not doing it in a public forum where it has the potential of snowballing

Also, Larries abstractly accept Harry’s attraction towards men (I say abstractly because they turn vicious at the idea of him with any man that isn’t Louis, and any potential boyfriend Harry could get in the future would definitely get attacked). So there isn’t really much of a point in mentioning it in most of the posts I make. I’ve shoehorned it in in several that didn’t really call for it and realized after posting, and that’s most likely because of my own projection. If that’s what you feel makes me “Not Like Other Antis” then that’s not really a positive trait of mine, so I wouldn’t really praise it

It’s much comfortable and easy territory to talk about Harry’s attraction to women because it’s been piling on for years. No matter how many times Larries try to claim all of it is a stunt, reality says differently. Harry has talked about girlfriends in interviews and on stage, he has expressed attraction towards women, often bringing it up himself, has written songs about women. And the point is that Larries refuse to accept it, attack all the women linked to him, attack his team for “forcing him” to talk about it, even go on to say that he didn’t really write a majority of his album, so it becomes important to say that’s not the case in blogs like ours

When it comes to attraction to men, it’s only recently that Harry’s been more concrete (if you can call it that) about the subject, and there really isn’t much of a solid ground for us to feel like we can discuss it as openly as we do with his attraction towards women. Not without verging on projecting (and sometimes tinhatting) territory. I’m not here to discount Harry’s expressions of his sexuality, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I have to be a little more vague about it, because Harry has been a little more vague about it. I just want to follow his lead because ultimately, it’s really none of my business. Sure, he made jokes before, and as non-straight person myself they pinged to me. I’m not gonna pretend they didn’t. But at the time, I really didn’t feel comfortable doing more than acknowledging he’d made them because it just wasn’t enough to go on. Straight men joke about that too, sadly (and I say sadly because I don’t like it when straight people joke about not being straight). And it could’ve also been jokes that weren’t even meant to be taken that way. Obviously now in hindsight they ping even more loudly to me, but I still don’t think they’re “proof” of anything, just something that gets me “okay... so this happened.” They could totally be the typical “testing the waters jokes” that most non-straight people do when they meet new people, they could even be the dumb jokes you just can’t help yourself making that could out you if you hit the wrong tone but narrowly avoid it because you’re being funny. But they could also just be jokes with no ulterior meaning

The bottom line is that, personally, when Harry said he didn’t label his sexuality, he knew how many of his fans thought he wasn’t straight. He knew of all the rumors. And when he wrote Medicine and chose to sing it on tour after saying he didn’t label his sexuality and all those years old rumors, he knew what he was doing. I don’t think for a second he’s stupid enough not to realize what those two things would cause, and I don’t think for a second he’s malicious enough to queerbait. So to me, it’s another thing about himself, he has green eyes and dimples, trips over his own feet, has annoyingly good reflexes, likes tattoos, is attracted to men in some capacity, is attracted to women, likes rock music, and has a half silly/half dry sense of humor. I don’t feel comfortable making more definite statements than that or putting a label on him when he’s explicitly rejected them before, and I definitely don’t have headcanons about him with men

If in the future he decides to share more, then I’ll gladly accept it and discuss it, but I will go as far as he wants to go and nothing more than that. I don’t think that’s “pushing it aside” I think it’s just being respectful

With your last two points I DO agree but I don’t think other antis shy away from that, and I actually don’t think I’ve talked about either of those things, at least not as main subjects of anything

The biphobia among Larries is rampant and disgusting. Anything that isn’t 100% gay is labeled as “het”. Larries have called him saying “I mess around with THEM” instead of “HIM” in Medicine “het” which is ABSURD because “them” includes “the BOYS and the GIRLS.” But to Larries he’s a gold star gay and “them”, by including women, would “legitimize his past relationships” and that’s “het”. That and Harry making statements on his sexuality when Louis is “still forced in an iron closet” made their heads explode. This is why I feel it’s important to highlight that Harry isn’t in the closet. He hasn’t come out, but I actually have a feeling that he would never do that. I think he’s just living his life and expressing himself for who he is and it just so happens to include that part of himself, like it happens to include his quirky sense of fashion or other aspects of his personality. He’s not actively trying to hide it, his girlfriends aren’t beards, his song lyrics aren’t stunts or coded metaphors for the burden of his fame. He just doesn’t fit the definition of a closet. It’s just that society tells you that there’s an actual drawn line between those two states, when for a lot of people that’s not the case. And I think Harry is also very idealistic and would love for that to be everyone’s reality. Like when he said he doesn’t feel equality should be political. No, my child, it shouldn’t but it is. And no, people shouldn’t have to come out and make statements on their sexuality, but society is still very into boxing people anyway. Sorry, I lost my train of thought

Anyway, Larries can’t just have Harry and Louis in this idyllic romantic relationship that never broke up in nine years. They also have to have them both being 100% gay and allergic to women. I think it’s part of their insecurity in their own conspiracy, but also, a lot of internalized misogyny and a fuckton of biphobia. If they acknowledged Harry’s attraction towards women, then he’d be a flight risk because the bi stereotype is cheating (not calling Harry bi, btw, it’s a stereotype applied to everyone that’s attracted to more than one gender, but it’s simplified as a bi stereotype). It’s easier for them to rationalize that all of Harry’s expressions of attraction towards women (and there’s been A TON) are just jokes or stunts or things he was forced to say and do. It soothes them and makes them believe in their ship with more ease

And the last point of how they pushed Harry to be open about something he wasn’t ready for so early. I mean, I don’t think Harry started being open about it before he was ready and I don’t think he lets himself be pushed by fan entitlement. He might be a “fluffy cupcake” but he’s very assertive when he needs to be. He draws a line and doesn’t let you cross it. So I think he expressed himself how he wanted and when he wanted. But Larries did TRY to push him. They made assumptions very early on, used a ton of stereotypes, analyzed things he probably didn’t even realize he was doing, and were all around disgusting. We don’t know how Harry’s journey with his own sexuality has been. I know people that didn’t even think they could be anything other than straight until they were well into their 20s. I know others that knew it as children. Once again, I don’t feel comfortable having headcanons or analyzing how Harry’s specific case was/is because it’s none of my business, but yeah, it’s totally possible that a lot of the shit Larries have said and analyzed has caused him harm. Having someone speculate on that sort of thing when you’re not fully conscious of it yet can fuck you up. Having people making definite statements about such private matters when you’re not ready to make them yourself can definitely fuck you up. Larries think all this speculating is them being fantastic allies and showing support, um, no? The opposite?

Do you know how you show support? By supporting the LGBT community and openly LGBT artists. By donating time and money to LGBT charities. By being welcoming and loving towards LGBT individuals. It’s definitely not by speculating on the sexuality of an artist you think might not be straight when they haven’t said anything themselves. That’s the shittiest thing you can do

[quickweaves]

yall are so extra homegirl didn't even call anyone out of their name but the chip on your shoulder is so significant that you have to project your insecurities onto other people and take offense to something that wasn't even said to you or about you or about black women. at all

(this is about the gay coffee shop meme)

Listen they called a black girl a beast unknowingly while stepping into a conversation that was largely happening amongst black trans girls on this website so lemme break it down.

For like a week now black trans women and black poor people that get help from donations started receiving requests to signal boost crowd funding for some queer cafe. Which is weird cause this person is ltrly going into poor black trans women’s DMs asking them to use their platform that they curated by putting their experiences/work out online opening themselves up to scrutiny and general hostility so they are able to have necessities like hormones to further their transition or like shit as basic as food. We all thought it was funny cause a lot of us received the same message from the same person which led to a general kii (us cracking jokes about it) cause I general comodifying an idea like a safe space to make a profit is kinda pointless when there are lots of non sexual queer spaces such as support groups and LGBT centers that provide invaluable services for our community, services that many of the people this person were asking to signal boost use or contribute to. The general joke was “why would i signal boost a queer cafe I most likely couldn’t afford to go to lol what safety/protection does this offer my community” (hint none, it’s there to make fucking money lol) which led to just a general conversation of coffee shops being the first signs of gentrification and how this queer cafe probably wouldn't be much different. Then this person who wasn’t privy to discussion from earlier in the day carried about us making fun of non sexual queer spaces (wild ikr no one was even talking about that lol) and made a post referencing @chinaglaze ’s posts about how coffee shops are often the first signs of gentrification or w/e and called her beast flippantly which I took issue with.

TDLR;

Basically it was a big misunderstanding and it happens especially with black people online were really intracommunal most of the time we don’t really follow non black people of color en masse but y'all most definitely follow us en masse and most of the time loose context/specifics as to what we’re talking about. Anyways that’s what you missed on glee

Btw I’m one of those poor black queers I was talking about so if you would like to donate so I’ll be able to eat for the next couple of days and help pay a bill while I wait to here back from a job that’d be much appreciated

Cash.me/$shutupchris PayPal.me/shutupchris

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[reinelefey]

THE FUCKING FIC BINDERS. I FORGOT THOSE. Fucking passing them around after you all got yelled at for using all the ink printing separate fics to share! And fucking... Writing your own in them because you had a rarepair or just COULDN'T find a website for one. OH, AND STRAIGHT UP JOINING FUCKING RP JAVA CHATS. I STIIILLLL HAVE FRIENDS FROM THOSE THAT I STILL TALK TO. ALSO: to hit you in the feels: OLD ASS WEBSITES YOU COULD FIND FIC ON.

Like fucking Quizilla! That place was the MECCA for me because it was the ONE PLACE at the time where you could search TAGS. They were the first website I remember to have a tag cloud back in like... Fucking 2004. And some of the writing there was... Well... We were young. And some of the writing there was GENUINELY AMAZING. I STILL remember one of my favourite fics from there being a YuYu Hakusho fic that the writing was fantastic in. Wish I remembered the damnable fic title, but I remember the OC'S NAME. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LIKED IT. (Amaya, btw.) AND THE SELF INSERTS.

MEDIAMINER. One of my favourite fics EVER for One of my OTP'S (I also have one for every fandom. Tales from the House of the Moon is STILL a fic that I would HAPPILY re-read and would 100% have kept in a fic binder. I LOST IT FOR YEARS, until AO3 came along and I FOUND IT AGAIN. (It's a SessKag fic, if you're wondering. I will die on the Hill that Kagome DESERVED BETTER.) Mediaminer for me was like... Trying to be what AO3 is. It did well for it, at the time.

Fanfic.net. oh, what can i say about fanfic.net.... we all know it, and it's problems, but damnit, it was a place where fic was, and we were determined to make it work.

LIVEJOURNALS. I admit I never really used this one, just because I wasn't well aqquainted (I can't remember how to spell that, and spell check isn't helping. So... Yeah. Words with Q's fuck me up, fam.) with the website, and it's functions. But I did a few times.

Geocites. Geocites was... A thing. You felt like an archaeological success finding fic there that fit what you wanted. Same for AngelFire sites.

Dokuga... Reminded me of FF.NET, but... Just... ALL THE ANIME. Couldn't ever find a lot of other things there.

God, you fandom kiddos don't know how damn GOOD you have it, just to be able to pull up AO3, and have ALL THE TOOLS to find EXACTLY what you want. When I managed to find Tales from the House of the Moon on AO3, I CRIED. Because I had felt like I traveled the WHOLE INTERNET just to find that ONE FIC, and there it was -- waiting for me at home -- in front of a nice warm fire, with some hurt/comfort for my soul. THERE WAS EVEN A SEQUEL. TO TIE UP LOOSE ENDS.

(I'm... Losing the thread here...)

But seriously... Appreciate your fandom writers. Donate to AO3. We seriously had to jump through HOOPS to find/post fic in the old days. Having AO3 to turn to now... It's... So fucking nice. If we lost that... So much fandom progress would be lost, you guys. SO MUCH. You don't know how important it is to be able to use AO3 for some people. That singular moment you have finding just the right fic... Imagine losing that. It's happened before. Don't let it happen again. 💚💚💚

I weirdly love that there are crotchety fandom elders around who say shit like “in my day, (insert fandom term) meant this specifically, but now you kids just use it to mean any old thing.”

It seriously gives fandom such a sense of heritage and family, like yes grandma, tell me more about how you had to write fic uphill both ways in the snow when you were my age.