#and it truly means so much that people enjoy it and recommend my fics and all of it i honestly can't thank you all enough

[theghostofashton]

.

[seeingivy]

award show etiquette

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic, masterlist here

content: light mentions of paparazzi/stalking, SMAU!!!! hehehehe, some fun cameos (HEHEHEHE), eren being a jealous little baby, eren and y/n being so corny

an: enjoy :DDD (for some regular readers, play close attention to usernames)

previous part linked here

--

Things change in the next six months. You turn sixteen. Falco and Colt buy you a shiny acoustic guitar as a gift for you to start writing songs like you’ve always wanted. The guitar is nice, but the writing doesn’t go so well. You don’t land any new acting roles for your hiatus, but everyone else does. 

All in all, some parts of your dreams feel real, like you’re standing at the doorstep of everything that you ever wanted. But the setbacks are so debilitating sometimes it feels like you’re wasting your efforts. Plus, your dreams come with their own set of nightmares too. 

Attack on Titan truly does trend overnight - really gaining traction around the fifth episode. Whenever episodes air, almost everyone is on social media talking about it - live tweeting the scenes, commenting on how phenomenal the storyline, the acting, the costumes were, trying to guess what happens next. It was almost like a trend, becoming bigger and bigger by everyone talking about it, pointing out all the little details woven into the story, following the press junkets.

The reception of the show feels like a victory. Levi, Erwin, and Hange get praised on the daily and people fall in love with the cast fast. Despite receiving a horrendous first impression score from The Elms, they officially take away their initial criticisms and give a glowing recommendation of you after the airing of the third episode - going as far as calling you the cast member to watch out for. 

The show gets renewed for three more seasons by the eighth episode and suddenly you’re getting offers for things you have no idea about. You need a publicist, a makeup team, a personal designer, someone to control your social media presence and a manager for your next moves. Even though you're not even at that level.

It’s…taxing. You’re not really sure what you want to do next. You’re only sixteen - there’s only so much childhood left that you can cherish. But they all insist that this traction won’t come back and that you can’t fall off. There’s pressure to deliver, to keep the momentum going. 

You don’t mean to sound ungrateful. This is what you wanted, but it's far off from what you expected. Evey beyond the entire thing being stressful, it changes even the tiniest, miniscule details of your life - one’s you never even recognized as important before.

Because when you go back to school, you’re not sure what’s going on. Your usual friends treat you weirdly, people who had no idea you existed are going on about how you guys have always been great friends, no one talks to you unless it’s Attack on Titan related. And it’s not that you don’t love talking about it, because you do, but it feels weird to share and bring to your tiny little unimportant high school. 

You feel like a shiny, plastic toy, something people ogle in the hallways, but never touch or come near for posterity's sake. 

And when you leave school, there’s a flood of paparazzi waiting for you right outside, snapping pictures of you, Colt, and Falco as you wait on the block. And they follow you all the way home, taking a seat outside your house. You think it’s stalking. And surprisingly enough, the law doesn’t see it that way. 

Meaning you have to put up with the fact that they’re waiting for you every morning, following your moves like little vultures. And you’re not sure what’s so interesting about you checking your mail, but you’re advised against it, and suddenly you can’t. 

You can’t go to the park. Or the grocery store. Or even into your own backyard because in all senses of the word, they are kind of relentless. 

It feels harsh to say, but you feel like a prisoner. Like you’re watching life move on outside of you - kids biking down the pavement, Colt walking to the store, your neighbors mowing the lawn - and you never realized what a luxury mundane things like this were.

To be unknown, a face in a sea of people rather than a deer stuck in headlights, frozen where you are. Because the people you knew don’t see you the same way, and really, you’re not a stranger to anyone anymore. 

It sucks. It’s amazing. You hate it. You love it. The highs and the lows fluctuate so fast that sometimes you feel like you’re a crazy person - teetering from one place to another. Everyone loves your acting, but no one wants to sit with you at school during lunch. The paparazzi stay outside your house almost all day, everyday but you got invited to announce an award at the Savants Show. 

In some way, your feelings feel inherently wrong. Because this is some people’s dream, and it used to be yours too, but really you just want to go to the grocery store with your little brother and buy snacks. You want to talk to your friends at recess, not get asked random questions while you’re shoved into your car. 

Marco visits around the four month mark, after you confide in him that it hasn’t been the greatest. He spends a whole week with your family - teaching Falco how to play Go, Colt teaches him how to do card tricks, and the two of you spend all night talking about anything and everything. And you love him for it. Because really, you’re not the only one going through this. Sure, they were primed for this since they were little, but it’s nice to have someone who understands you by your side. 

And Eren calls you every single night, to the point where you’re both falling asleep on the phone together, his soft breathing lulling you to sleep every night. Some part of you feels guilty confiding in him, since he is on the set of a really big movie he’s filming right now, but he always assuages any guilt you have with his words.

“How was your day, Y/N?” he asks, nestled into a gray hoodie, the smallest tufts of his brown hair peeking out of the hood. 

He’s leaning against his headboard, his forearm resting against his head and his eyes shut closed. Because he’s six hours ahead of you, in Switzerland. And it’s the middle of the night. 

“Is your roommate there?” 

He laughs, his dimples appearing in the glow of the computer light. 

“He’s really mad at us about last night. He told me we need to stop giggling so late so he can get some “beauty sleep” or whatever.” 

“I don’t giggle. He must hate me.” 

“Oh, for sure. But Ry hates everyone.” 

“Rude.”

“I asked a question. How was your day, Y/N?” 

“Ah. It was okay, Eren. Same old.” 

His eyes flutter open and he leans forward, the concern washing over his eyes. And you hate when he does this, because really, it’s worse to have Eren pity you more than anything. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“Six days.” 

You smile, brushing down the ends of your hair. Right. Six days till you and Eren are together again. 

“Yeah. It feels like time passed by really fast.” 

“What are you talking about? It feels like an eternity since I’ve seen you. I’m not even sure what you look like anymore.” 

“Bullshit. You literally FaceTime me every single day, Eren.” 

“Still. It’ll be nice. To see you in person, to not have the Wifi lag because Coco is trying to play Roblox.” 

“He got banned the other day.” 

“For what?” 

“He censored a curse word, but still got banned because it picked it up.” 

“Rookie mistake, Falco. He can have my account if it’s that serious.” 

You both laugh, falling into a comfortable silence, as you stare at each other on the screen. The white light of the screen is doing little to illuminate Eren’s face in the dark room he’s sitting in and really, you can only make out the harsh figures on his face.

The bridge of his nose, the shape of his eyebrows, only one dimple, and his lips. And when he leans back, placing the phone on the side, as he nestles into his pillow, you put Eren to the side, typing away on your computer. When you glance over in a few minutes, he’s fast asleep, only the sounds of his breathing coming out of the phone. 

Six days.  

- 

As far as red carpets go, this has to be a memorable first. You arrive there at six o’clock, which is when the red carpet starts. Meaning the rest of the cast is already out there, getting pictures taken, doing interviews while your cab driver is Tokyo Drifting you through the streets of New York City.

The second you arrive, Mikasa’s styling team throws you into a frenzy. You’re attired into a long, flowing green dress, because the original outfit that you had picked out got lost in the airport debacle. 

Right. You would have been there on time if the universe was actually on your side for once. You were supposed to fly in on Thursday, with the rest of the Attack on Titan cast. You were all going to be staying together in a house near the awards show, so that you guys could get started on table reads this weekend before you start filming again next month. 

Except, your flight got delayed and you didn’t make it in time. And they accidentally lost your luggage in the time in between canceling your flight and scheduling you a new one. Which leaves you in your current dilemma, of walking onto the carpet an hour late. 

Somewhere in the middle of the carpet, a very antsy and anxious Eren Jaeger is doing press interviews. He’s styled in all black and a green tie, meant by his styling team to compliment the color of his eyes. He doesn’t get that entire thing, but does it anyway. 

“Do you have any news you can tell us about the next season of Attack on Titan?” 

Before Eren can respond, he feels a hand clamped over his mouth, Ymir standing behind him with a stern expression on her face. 

“Do not answer that, Eren.” grumbles Ymir, the interviewer laughing at the two of you. 

Eren rolls his eyes as he and Ymir stand side by side, the two of them answering questions from the interviewer. 

“Are you guys really friends outside of the set?” 

“No. Eren Jaeger is insufferable.” responds Ymir, Eren reaching over to smack her cheek as they both laugh. 

“Yes, we’re all really good friends. Some of us more than oth-” 

Ymir’s response is cut off by a loud sound of cheering, all of the photographers on that side of the carpet rushing to the front. And when he leans over the crowd of people to see you at the center, with all these cameras flashing at you, he can feel his heart thumping in his chest and an almost inevitable smile spreading across his face. 

It’s you. It’s really you - in real life and not on a shitty wifi phone screen but only ten feet away from him, looking like the sun. 

The entire thing is overstimulating. There’s almost a dozen camera’s flashing, all at one time. You’re trying your best to smile but all you can hear is clicking, twenty different people saying your name trying to get your attention, and your cheeks burning from keeping your smile in th3 same position as you flick your eyes around. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see it. The tufts of brown hair you have committed to memory. You look to your right to find Eren and Ymir smiling at you, the two of them giving you waves. And you turn back to the crowd, whisper a polite sorry, and run right into Ymir’s arms first. 

“Ymir, I missed you so much.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’d miss me too.” 

You pull back, every unpleasant feeling in your chest accumulating for the past six months lessening at the warmth of someone so familiar, someone you love so much gleaming at you in your arms. Ymir rolls her eyes and pinches your cheek as she walks away, leaving you and Eren standing on the carpet. 

You can feel yourself smiling really big and you try your best to will it down, but the pure anticipation and adrenaline of the event, and Eren Jaeger, really standing in the flesh in front of you, stops any efforts you may have. 

“Hi Eren.” you whisper. 

“Hi Y/N.” he whispers back. 

You lean forward and lock your hands around his neck, to which he crushes you in his hold, the two of you giggling in each other's ears as you hug each other, cheeks slightly flushed. And for the rest of the carpet, you and Eren link arms, taking turns answering the interviewers questions and taking pictures together. 

“Do you guys like each other?” 

“I mean, I sure hope Eren likes me. We are best friends and all.” you respond. 

Eren reaches forward, smacking his palm against your forehead. 

“Shut up. You know I like you.” 

You and Eren feel a sudden weight on your shoulders, and in true menace form, Connie Springer is leaning against both of your frames. He leans forward into the microphone, grinning at the interviewer as he starts talking. 

“Oh, they like each other all right. They have all these little things they do on set that none of us are allowed to do with them. Like oh, you can’t eat ramen with Y/N that’s our thing. Or oh, you can’t get slushies with Eren, we’ve been doing that since we got here.” 

You lean forward and flick Connie on the forehead, as Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Are you jealous, Connie?” you ask. 

“No. I just want some of that bitch ass ramen you guys are always making.” 

Erwin and Levi walk up, the two of them pinching Connie’s cheek as he whines. 

“Language, Springer.” Levi mutters. 

He drops Connie’s ear and places his hand in your hair, giving you a warm smile. Erwin gives you a hearty hug before the two of them walk away, meeting Hange at the end of the carpet. 

You turn back to the interviewer, you and Eren answering final questions before walking away all together. The second you get away from her, Connie’s leaning down, crushing you in a hug and lifting you into the air. 

“I missed you yesterday.” Connie mutters, his breath tickling your ears. 

“I know, I was so sad to miss it. I really missed you guys too.”  You’re not entirely sure why - but Connie, Ymir, Eren, these comforting people after six months of hellscape are enough for the air to get tangled in your throat and the warm tears to start welling in your eyes. 

Connie swings his arm around Eren as he talks, smirking at the two of you. 

“Some of us missed you more than others.” Connie grins, poking Eren’s cheeks. 

“Oh, yeah?” you ask. 

“Eren pouted all day. Looked nearly depressed when he had to eat that measly ramen bowl by himself. Stared at pictures of you on his phone.” 

“I DIDN’T LOOK AT PICTURES OF HER ON MY PHONE.” Eren responds, now yanking Connie by the ear. 

Connie rolls his eyes as he runs off, leaving you and Eren to walk the last part of the red carpet together. 

Right before you make it into the venue, you feel a tugging on your dress, to be met with two kids who must be a few years younger than you, matching smiles on their faces. You and Eren crouch down, taking in their outfits

They’re dressed as you and Eren, from the show. With perfect green capes and a red scarf. Why are they watching your show? Seems a bit gory for their age. 

“Hi. I’m Y/N.” you say, holding out your hand. 

They both excitedly shake, stumbling over their words as they start talking. 

“Hi. I-I love you so much. You-you’re both so cool and we just-we love you so much we-” the girl starts. 

“We made-made you a gift.” the boy continues. 

Eren leans forward, holding his hand out, as he gives the two of them a warm smile. 

“You guys are too kind. Y/N and I really appreciate it, truly.” 

They place two friendship bracelets in your hands, which you and Eren immediately slide onto your hands. You and Eren take the time to give each of them a hug, making sure their parents are able to snap pictures, before you head back inside. 

When you’re inside the safe confines of the theater, you look down at the bracelets. Yours is green and Eren’s is pink. The beads in the middle of yours say “attack on eren” and the beads in the middle of Eren’s say “attack on y/n” - like your matching tag names on Twitter. 

“Hey. They accidentally switched them when they gave it to us. My bracelet says your name.” you say. 

“There’s no way they would give us the wrong ones.” 

“They could have gotten nervous. Why would I wear a bracelet with your name on it when you-” 

“I’m keeping this one.” he says, with a tone so definitive you don’t even want to respond. 

You and Eren hold your wrists out to admire them, the soft beads standing out against your fancy clothes. It’s simple. You love it. 

You reach down and tangle one of your hands with Eren’s. He squeezes three times. You squeeze back. 

And for the first time in six months, you feel at ease. 

- 

“Wait so, explain this to me one more time.” you ask, being met with eleven prepared faces staring back at you. 

“These are the Savant TV show awards. There are other ones for things like movies, music, and plays. Any show that is part of this cycle has to send names in to nominate for each award. Five are selected in each category and then a select group of people in the industry, we call them the Institute, usually vote on winners.” starts Bertholdt. 

“Okay. That makes sense. Is that how they pick triple threats too?” 

Eren’s hand is still locked in yours, hidden under the pleats of your dress. He squeezes three times at the mention of a triple threat and you get the message.

You got this.

“Well, triple threats are different. They’re kind of variable and get announced randomly. Some years you can have a lot of triple threats and some years none. But when they get picked, they announce the three pieces that made them a triple threat. Then they have to do this long and personal interview where they discuss their time in the industry - good, bad, all of it - and at whatever award show is next, they pick one of the three - singing, dancing, or acting - and perform a piece at the end of the show.” explains Annie, fidgeting with the ends of her perfectly curled hair. 

“Do we have any triple threats today?” you ask. 

“No. But besides triple threat performances, there’s also other performers and an ensemble showcase. Have you ever seen one?” asks Armin, leaning forward to pull Annie’s hands down from ruining her hair. 

“No. What’s that?” 

“Basically, each year the Savants pick a show to perform for an ensemble showcase. It’s the cast of the entire show, or just a select portion of it, and they usually perform a dance or sing a song related to the show. This year, it’s the cast of Blue Lock, the soccer show?” responds Armin.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” 

“They’re performing that song Get Your Head in the Game from that movie High School Musical? They’re all going to do a bunch of soccer tricks on stage while they sing the song is what I’ve heard. People usually relate it to the show they’re in some type of way.” says Armin

Before the rest of them can explain more, the lights dim and you focus your head to the front, the show starting. You don’t really recognize the hosts or anyone in the room - which to you is a sign that you really should start paying attention - and you try to focus on what they’re saying. 

They’re cracking jokes about different people in the industry, which Eren explains to you in your ear as they talk. What the jokes mean, who they’re talking about, what shows they’re from. They even crack a joke about you and Eren. 

“The cast of Attack on Titan is here tonight.” 

The statement is met with an array of cheers in the room, and in true Connie and Reiner fashion, they’re both standing up for no reason, bowing to the crowd. That just garners them both a cascading sound of laughter from the audience, which only gets louder when Erwin yanks Connie and Reiner down by the ear. 

“Getting to watch the story unfold, all the twists and turns - it’s almost impossible not to pay attention to such a thrilling story. I’m sure we can’t say the same for our hosting skills, because our sweet leads Y/N and Eren have been whispering in each other's ears the entire time instead of listening to us.” 

The light flashes in yours and Eren’s faces, the two of you with widened expressions as you laugh at everyone staring you down. And when Eren says, sorry what did you say? with a confused tone in his voice, the entire audience laughs and then they move on. 

Somewhere around a third of the way into the show, the usher comes to the seats, whispering in your ear that it’s time for you to come backstage. 

Right. You’re supposed to be presenting an award with another actor. And you totally forgot. 

You turn to your right to look at Eren and before you can even express the panic, he’s already settling you down. Eren Jaeger, mind reader. 

“You’ll be fine. You just have to stand there and present the award. He’s really weird but he’s nice most of the time.” 

"What? I can’t do this, Eren. They’re all going to be staring at me and I don’t even-” 

Mikasa and Bertholdt’s hands are on your shoulder, squeezing twice as the usher leads you along. You turn back to look at Eren, and he gives you a warm smile as you try to focus on the task at hand. 

When you get backstage, everyone is in a frenzy. There are so many different crew members running around - microphones in their ears, sound-checking mics, making sure that the video on the screen stops playing on time. It reminds you of the chaos on set that you like to watch, except this is entirely more nerve-wracking because of the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. 

You tap on the guy closest to you, a boy that can’t be much older than you with pink hair. 

“Hi. I’m supposed to present the award next, do you have any idea who I’m supposed to be presenting with?” 

“Ah. That would be Ryomen Sukuna.” 

“Oh. I’ve never heard of him.” 

He frowns, squinting his eyes at you as you lean forward. You take a second to take him in more closely, his perfectly fitted suit with a black tie. You’re not sure why, but you swear you know him from somewhere. 

“You’ve never heard of him? Ever?” 

You shake your head as he starts laughing, the grin on his face so wide. And before you can ask what’s so funny, they’re pushing you onto stage, the bright lights shining in your face. You scan the crowd for Eren, who mouths it’s okay before you and him start. 

You clear your throat as you turn to the guy, who you now realize is the same pink-haired guy from backstage. 

“Wait. What are you doing here?” 

He laughs - and the entire audience does too - as he turns to you, a devious grin in his eyes. He holds his hand out, which you return, as he introduces himself. 

“Hi Y/N. I’m Ryomen Sukuna.” 

You feel your eyes widen as he lifts your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before he continues. You can feel your mind running in circles as you clutch the envelope in your hand, zoning back in to pay attention to him. 

“You know, you and Eren spend all night giggling, talking about god knows what. Of course, this asshole never mentions me.” 

And then you remember. Pink hair, Ry. Ryomen Sukuna. He’s Eren’s roommate, from the movie he was just filming. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I remember now, you’re Eren’s roommate and-” 

“You’re standing here with me and you’re talking about Eren?” 

“Ah, I-” 

“You keep me up all night by calling Eren and you don’t even know my name. And then I'm trying to have a moment with you and you're talking about another guy?” 

He's doing a bit. Right. Because from what you could tell, almost everyone who presents an award does one. Maybe this is just his. 

“I'm sorry?” 

The entire audience laughs at your words and Sukuna rolls his eyes, saying something about how hard it is to impress girls these days, as he hands you a lollipop. 

“What’s this for?” 

“The people sitting in the front row, Y/N. It’s obviously for you.” he deadpans. 

“Oh, okay that’s kind of weird. Thanks!” 

The audience laughs as you unwrap the lollipop, handing the envelope to Sukuna so you can do it properly.

“It’s about that time. Ready to read the name, Y/N?” 

You nod as you take the lollipop out of your mouth, handing it to Sukuna and you focus on ripping the golden tape on the envelope. Except as you’re opening it, the entire crowd starts laughing and you’re not entirely sure why. 

“Am I that bad at opening this or something?” 

They laugh even more, which makes you turn to Sukuna for reassurance, which is when you see it. Sukuna just put your lollipop in his mouth. Like, the lollipop with your saliva all over it in his mouth. 

“Hey! I was eating that.” 

He pops it out of his mouth and holds it in between you, smirking at you. 

“Want it back, sweetheart?” 

You take it from his hands and shove it back into his mouth - which at this point, the audience is literally screaming at the two of you - as you open up the envelope. And when you read the name and hand the award over, you and Sukuna exit the stage, bickering as you get off. 

“You’re such a weirdo freak. I did want to eat that lollipop.” 

“Then eat it. There’s still some left, sweetheart,” he says, a joking tone present in his voice. 

“You’re so gross. That’s like literally sharing saliva.” 

“We can do that in other ways too if you want.” 

“Ew. Are you always like this?” 

You both laugh as you exit the stage, back into the panic behind the curtains. As people move around you and him, taking mic boxes off, you turn to him. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s start over. I’m Y/N L/N. No more sassing me because I forgot you name.” 

He gives you a glimmering smile, holding his hand out. 

“Okay, okay. Ryomen Sukuna. Call him in the middle of the night and I will do this again.” 

As you both continue talking, a group of people join him at his side, clearly his friends. Another boy with pink hair, who looks literally identical to him, a shorter boy with black spiky hair, and two girls - one with green hair and one with brown. 

They’re all yanking Sukuna by the ears, telling him that he - as always - is doing too much. 

The boy with pink hair turns to you, the look on his face apologetic. 

“He’s always like this. Menacing. We sincerely apologize.” 

You smile, holding your hand out to him as he repeats his name and the rest of them follow suit.. Itadori Yuuji. Megumi Fushiguro. Nobara Kugisaki and Maki Zenin. 

“We’re the cast of Jujutsu Kaisen.” responds Nobara, as she flicks Sukuna on the forehead. 

“Ah. I’m one of the cast members of-”

“Attack on Titan.” they all respond in unison, smiling at you. 

After a few minutes, you’re joined by a group of your own friends - Ymir, Reiner, Marco, and Eren - as well as Levi and a taller man with white hair. 

Marco and Ymir give you warm smiles and squeezes on the shoulder as they congratulate you for doing a good job, saying that the reception was really funny and that you and Sukuna are trending on Twitter. Eren's uncharacteristically silent, brooding in the corner. Before you can mention it, Sukuna beats you to it. 

“Eren. Do you need to take a shit?” says Sukuna, leaning forward to smile at him. 

“What?” Eren responds. 

“You look agitated as fuck. Like you have to take a shit.” 

Ymir and Reiner laugh, poking Eren’s cheeks and teasing him, as you move to the side, paying attention to Levi’s conversation. 

“All they do is cuss. I need to start actually punishing them or they’re going to end up cursing like sailors in a few years.” 

“Tell me about it, Satoru. Jean is actually horrible, I will genuinely wash his mouth out with soap the next time he says fuck near me.” 

Satoru. Satoru Gojo. You may not know many celebrities, but you sure know this one. 

He’s a triple threat. 

“When I got cast on a show with a bunch of kids, I didn’t realize I was going to become a father.” sighs Satoru, grinning at the group of them as he talks. 

“You’re not our father.” the group of them respond, breaking from their own conversations to shoot him down. 

Levi laughs as he looks down at you, placing a hand in your hair as you join their conversation. Satoru crouches down to your height, smiling at you as he talks. 

“Good job. That was real funny, kid.” 

“Thank you so much.” 

“Are you as rude to Levi as my kids are to me?” Satoru asks. 

“We’re not your kids.” respond Megumi and Nobara, breaking from their conversation again. 

“He does kind of remind me of my dad! He always gives good advice on set and helps me and-” 

Levi crouches down, glaring at you. 

“I’m not your dad.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

Marco and Reiner walk over, holding onto Levi’s arms as they respond. 

“Yes, you are.” 

You all turn your heads to Satoru, who is now pouting. 

“They cast the wrong kids in my show. Mine are so ungrateful,” he says, leaning down to pinch Megumi’s ear, which he just returns by literally smacking Satoru off. 

You all laugh as you get directed back into your seats, as it’s time to present the next award. You wave them all goodbyes as you start walking in line with Eren, who you now realize you hadn’t talked to the entire time. His jaw is locked, an implacable look in his face. You reach down and tangle your hand with his, to which he finally looks over at you. 

“Hey. Was it okay?” 

He stops in his tracks, letting Ymir, Marco, and Reiner walk forward, as you stand in the outskirts of the curtain. 

“It was good, Y/N. Really good.” he sighs. 

“So why are you upset?” 

He frowns as he looks over at you, his mouth in a straight line. 

“It’s stupid.” 

“No it’s not, Eren. Just tell me!” 

“Imannoyedhekissedyourhand” he murmurs quickly, under his breath. 

“Sorry, what was that? It’s kind of loud in here.” 

“igotjealousseeingyouguysupthere.” he murmurs again, his cheeks turning red. 

You lean completely into his space, looking straight into his green eyes. 

“Sorry, Eren. One more time, yeah?” 

“I’m annoyed he kissed your hand! It made me jealous because that should have been me and not him and he’s just doing that because I-” 

Before he can finish, you start laughing, which stops Eren in his tracks and now he’s glaring at you. 

“Quit making fun of me, Y/N.”

“I’m not! It’s just so cute, Eren. You’re so-” 

“I’m glad you find my personal torture cute, Y/N.” 

“Personal torture? Did you get more dramatic from the last time I saw you?” 

“Imagine being me. I just watched an idiot, a real life blathering idiot like Sukuna, kiss your hand before I got to do it. And I was sitting next to Connie too. That’s so annoying and now everyone is going to make fun of me and-” 

And now you get it. He’s…jealous. Of Sukuna. From what Itadori and Maki told you, Sukuna’s kind of infamous for being a cheeky little shit, going about things as he pleases. And Eren’s feeling possessive because you’re best friends. Connie being a little bitch probably didn’t help matters either. 

You’re not sure where you garner up this uncharacteristic courage or boldness from, but you hold out your left hand to Eren.

“What? Trying to rub it in my face now? You’re worse than Ymir.” 

“No, no. Sukuna kissed my right hand. But he didn’t kiss my left, so you can just do it now.” 

You watch his eyes widen and his face turn positively red as he starts blabbering, awkwardly pushing his hands through his hair and teetering on his heels.

“Huh? What? You can’t just- you’re just saying that. This is weird. You’re-you? What? I can’t like- oh my god. What the-” 

You place one of your hands on his shoulder as you look at him, trying to muster the sweetest smile you can. 

“Eren. Please?” 

The ask makes him give in and he shakily places his hand in yours, lifting your knuckles against his mouth as he places a soft kiss in between your second and third knuckle. And when you smile at him again, positively gleaming, Eren curses your existence. He hates you for making him feel like this. 

“Screw you, Y/N.” 

“What? What happened now?” 

"You. You’re annoying.” 

You roll your eyes as you and Eren walk back to your seats, hands locked together and already met with a barrage of insults from Sasha and Annie. They’re pinching Eren’s cheeks, mimicking Sukuna taking your lollipop, the rest of them all teasing him. 

But when you look over and smile at Eren, which he returns, you both focus your heads back on the show, the speakers talking. And when Eren drives away at the end of the night, you hold onto the feeling. 

Just one more month until you’re back together. All of you, for real.

--

next chapter linked here

taglist: @platromm @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[rebelfell]

I love your writing so much it's giving me so much joy. I was close to dropping out of the Eddie fandom because I couldn't enjoy the current trends of writing him but you write him so well I'm falling in love again. Do you have any writers on here that inspire you or that you would recommend to follow if that's ok.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh. Oh, anon. The way I wish I could print this out and hang it above my mantle. And I don’t even have a mantle. Thank you so much, truly.

I think I would have to tag every single writer in this fandom to accurately portray who inspires me. There is such a wealth of work about him, there’s something for everyone out there.

Whatever version of Eddie you want to read, he exists, and it’s not a matter of anyone’s version being better/worse, but what speaks to you.

I am gonna list some of my favorites, because I deeply want to give people their flowers, but my brain is also mashed potatoes and I hate for anyone to feel overlooked/left out.

So this is BY NO MEANS a complete list.

My sideblog @madeofmunson has pretty much everything I’ve read and my blathering recs. I’m gonna link this post I made last year, in which I babbled about some of the stories that really impacted me as I entered the Eddie fandom.

A number of them are what I would consider to be modern classics in the fandom, so I doubt you’ve missed them, but just in case 😘

And the rest are going under a cut because I am a loquacious so and so (if you couldn’t already tell)

@aphrogeneias writes such a fun, silly, goofy Eddie, but WATCH OUT because he’ll hit you with the feels out of nowhere. rockstar!eddie and his assistant make my knees weak on the regular.

@bettyfrommars has it out for me, specifically. They ruin me over and over and KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT (partly because I keep going back but that’s neither here nor there)

@br0ck-eddie is the undisputed reigning champ of soft, sweet eddie. They put out all of these little vignettes that make me feel so warm and gooey inside like I’m literally butter in the microwave.

@jo-harrington’s mind is WILD. I don’t even know how they come up with some of their concepts and I can only imagine what it’s like to create whole universes in your head from nothing.

@lesservillain fucks my brain up every time they post. I learned a whole lotta stuff I never knew about myself from their omegaverse fics 😳 Namely what the omegaverse was…

Read Red String and thank me later.

@littlexdeaths I want to put in my pocket and carry around with me all the time. They will start with just a little blurb and the next thing you know you’re swept away in the current of a whole saga and desperate to find out what happens next.

@lonelysatellites is a devastatingly good writer. I still think about Safe Hands and Bruises and how they altered my fucking brain chemistry. Actually, now that you mention it…I might need to go re-read them…again…

@mrsjellymunson is a radiant ball of light. They write stories that are just FUN and silly and sexy and they deserve only the best 💖

@somnambulic-thing is…an enigma. They have the capacity to write something so emotionally devastating I have to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for 10 hours about it. Or they will write something that is so silly and lighthearted it makes your belly ache with joy and love.

And then go and write something that is BOTH.

@the-unforgivenn is literally the sweetest soul who ever lived, I think they were a piece of candy in a past life. They write a great Eddie and a great Corroded Coffin (specifically Gareth) became they really nail that band banter/dialogue.

@trashmouth-richie makes me horny and makes me laugh and makes me horny all over again. They write with a real razor sharp wit and confoundingly good smut 😵‍💫

@urhoneycombwitch is so creative, so skilled. They create the kinds of Eddie’s that burrow under your skin and make their home there. Roomate/neighbor!eddie have my heart.

@word-wytch just received a lot of the brunt of my flailing about one of their chapters, so if you haven’t read Don’t Stand So Close To Me - DO IT.

Seriously there are still so many more 😭 But I gotta stop or I’m never gonna actually post this. If you’re reading this and your name isn’t here, it so would be if I had infinite time ♥️ Yes, you.

I did not even touch on my Steve writers???????? (see @stuffedwithsteve for them)

[oathkeeperoxas]

TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs part 7

New year, new rec list for icemav fics!!

Rec list 1 here

Rec list 2 here

Rec list 3 here

Rec list 4 here

Rec list 5 here

Rec list 6 here

Take It or Leave It by @icezansky

If he’s honest with himself (and he rarely is, when it comes to this) a secret part of him can admit what he won’t ever say aloud: he’d get on his knees for Pete “Maverick” Mitchell for far less than the promise of quiet weeknights.

I'm usually a hard sell on AU fics, but this one just absolutely nailed it. Both Ice and Mav are excellently characterised, the smut is super hot, and it just leaves me wanting for more.

the cure i know (that soothes the soul) by @eighteaseven

Mav had been leaning against the open bar when he heard some twenty-something kid ask his friend who the old man was. And with a smarmy, disrespectful little smirk, the kid tilted his head in Mav's direction and answered, “Oh, him? That’s Kazansky’s wife,” and his friend laughed at the answer. - Or; Maverick figures out what it means to live as the partner of the Secretary of the Navy.

Old! Men! In! Love! I love fics that focus on the two of them figuring out how to shape their lives around each other, what they're willing to prioritise and what they're willing to give up and what they aren't, so this was just such a great treat for me personally <3

Separation by @elwenyere

Ice has a security deposit box at a storage facility under a false name. There isn’t much in it - no tax records or family heirlooms - just three letters from a boy he met at summer camp, a blurry Polaroid of a man’s back stretched out against motel sheets, and a copy of Nan Goldin’s The Ballad of Sexual Dependency.

Rolling around in this one forever. I love fic that leans into the historical ins and outs of the eras that a canon is set in, and this does that so well, blending in the characters to the historical backdrop of the 80s. Elwen's writing is so raw and beautiful, if you haven't read her works before, I can only heartily recommend that you start now.

Kings of the Air by @fabula-rasa

Fighting and fucking: two things he did extraordinarily well. How could he have known what the effect would be when you combined the two?

This one really sets the tone for what icemav fic should be. Truly grateful that this one got posted for us all to enjoy. The ups and downs feel very in character, and are all so very worth it.

What You Don’t Know by chemm80

Maverick finds Iceman handcuffed to his bed. He has a hard time getting over it.

This plays in the universe of the above fic, and does it beautifully. The expansion of the world and the characters is so good - I love how Ice and Mav speak to each other and how they revolve around each other here.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by V_Evergreen

Five meetings between Thomas Kazansky and Ethan Hunt.

I love this fic so much!!! The interactions between Ice and Ethan, Ethan and Mav, and Mav and Ice all hit so good. The dialogue is spot on and each chapter is absolutely perfect, and usually very funny. Great combination <3

Granted by copacet

One of the people Maverick had never managed to get along with was his previous commander, a clash of personalities which had worried Iceman greatly at first but which turned out to be a boon: when the time had finally come, the man agreed to transfer Maverick to Iceman’s own command with obvious relief. “You want that insubordinate sonuvabitch?” he’d said. "Hell, better you than me." Iceman agreed. (Or: a decade after their first meeting, five times Maverick requests Iceman's permission to do something, and five times Iceman gives it.)

Ice and Mav are so sweet here, and so very in love - the back and forth between them is so good, the little moments that make up a relationship depicted softly and perfectly.

3am by @icemankazansky

Iceman Kazansky took "me time" how and where he could get it.

Carly's fics are always so full - full of life, full of breadth, full of movement and heart. This fic manages to say so, so much about Ice, and about Ice and Mav's relationship as well. I hold it very close to my heart.

sweet nothings by @dannykaffee

Ice takes Mav on a little trip.

Mav gets treated well by his boyfriend!! You love to see it!! Strawberries, cream, a get away to a lake, what else can you ask for.

take any form by elizabethgee

Ice gets a call that Maverick has gone MIA.

The hurt/comfort here is so good! Ice thinking that Mav is in danger, that he's MIA and has to hide how he's feeling from everyone, yeah that's the good stuff.

Morning Cuddles by SharaRaizel

A 5+1 fic of IceMav through the years. 5 times Maverick had to put effort into keeping Iceman in bed and 1 time he didn't.

What it says on the tin. Just the two of them being sweet and soft and good <3

[number1jeonginstan]

I'm only on here quickly because I am still swamped with work, but I have started writing again, so please don't fret.

I wanted to come on here and give some recommendations for some authors who truly put every fiber of their being into the writing they produce for us, and why I beg and plead you should support them.

I understand wanting to read quick smut, like some creators like I produce, but if you truly want to be immersed in a story and feel a myriad of emotions, here are my recommendations.

@cb97percent They truly are some of the most talented writers I have read in years, and this comes from an avid reader. Their ability to write a story with so much range and emotion is truly impeccable. They set up each scene perfectly, but at times allude to it, to the point that whenever I read their work, I'm truly entranced. I can still remember I believe last summer, I could be wrong because I forget timelines quite easily, that I was constantly refreshing her page to read Unprofessional. When I tell you it had me by the throat, from the first sentence I read, I knew that I had to consume all her work and I hope you guys enjoy it as well because she truly is ever so talented and deserves so much more recognition than she receives.

@straywrds Their ability to portray emotions through their writing is captivating. I can say with full certainty that I have enjoyed ever single one of their fics and series. I have come across several accounts where her fics make me bawl out and cry, my body borderline shuddering from the words on the page, but the sorrow and the pain is worth it. She truly captures the emotions of every character she writes, giving each one of them an extensive background. She makes you feel like you are truly in the story, feeling the reader's emotions every step of the way. Her writing is something I wish I could read again for the first time because it is truly impeccable.

@moonjxsung is another truly amazing writer, and I feel like everyone should check out at least one of her fics. From my perspective, she is truly an incredible writer and I have loved reading all of her works, especially her recent Bangchan fic.

@seospicybin She has some truly wonderful fics, and I have never in my life skipped past them. If you want something longer to bring you either a laugh, like her "Too Hot to Handle" series, or something that leaves you at the edge of your seat, confused about what's going to happen next, like her new "Roadtrip" series, I truly recommend reading her fics!!

@hyunjinspark is another author that I love beyond the end of the width. Both of her Hyunjin fics, although one has not been completed yet, are truly a story. It is like reading a book that just makes you want to never stop, never wanting to put it down. I don't know how I stumbled across her fics, but I'm ever so grateful to find them and immerse myself in them.

Again, this is not me saying that these are the best writers on skz-tumblr (I mean... they kinda are 😁) but if you really want to read something that's longer than 2k words of smut, I really recommend you check these beautiful people out because their work deserves an immense amount of praise.

[askblueandviolet]

Hello! Welcome to the Blue and Violet Ask Blog!

As you might have guessed, this is an ask blog where you can ask the Mayor (Blue) and Macaque (Violet) from LMK questions! However, before anything else, there are a few things that you need to know.

General Things:

First things first, if you are not aware already, this blog is not based 'completely' on LMK canon! Instead, it is directly based and linked to the Blue and Violet Fanfiction series on AO3. Written by yours truly, me (haha!). Link to the fic series is in the bio/under the header. If you want to ask questions, please make sure you are up to date with all the chapters in ALL the fics in the series. (Also by the way YES THIS IS SHADOWPUPPET >:DDDD. If you don't like it and have a desire to assert your opinion regarding that? Then please, I kindly ask that you do not interact with this blog for your sake, my sake, and for the sake of everyone else who might want to enjoy this. Thank you :))).)

What this means is that the only things that Macaque and Mayor have experienced is within the context of this fanfiction series (which contains lots of establishment of how they know each other and their perspectives during seasons 1-3). Therefore, you definitely cannot ask these two about season four related things, because it hasn't happened to them yet!

Due to this, this blog will follow the timeline and events of what happens in the newest instalment of the series, 'Winter Mornings, Summer Nights' (previously, it was 'Colours'). After every chapter is posted, you will be able to ask Macaque and Mayor questions relating to what had happened to them in that chapter or any events prior in the fic series.

IMPORTANT: Whatever happens in this ask blog is NOT canon to the fic series. However, what happens in the fic series directly affects this blog. This means that nothing you ask or say on this blog will affect the Blue and Violet storyline.

Rules (or just... things to remember?) Regarding Asks:

I think I will be able to answer every question that you all submit. However, if I find a question too offensive, too uncomfortable, too strange (meaning I just don't understand it :'D) or something that will potentially spoil the future events of the fic series, then I will have to unfortunately ignore the ask. Either that, or I simply answer the ask with a silly picture of some sorts. On that note, please don't ask any character or me what will happen next! They probably don't know either! You'll all just have to wait and see ;D.

You can ask both Macaque and Mayor any questions you desire. However, I would highly recommend with each chapter posted, we stick to asking questions to whomever the new chapter's POV is in!

Also, if you wanted, you could also ask side characters any questions you wanted! Like Baihe, or any one of my OC's for Mayor's side of the story. But, keep in mind that this is technically a Shadowpuppet ask blog XDDD thus, they should be the main focus.

Not only can you ask the characters questions, but you can also just ask me questions about the series in general? Or just... Say something I guess? I've had people do that on my main blog, and it always makes me happy to see that people like what I am writing!

I will be honest, I am not expecting many asks to come to this blog. But, on the off chance I am overloaded with asks, please know that I can only work so fast! If it really does get too much I will temporarily shut the ask box, but I will make sure that every ask is answered to the best of my ability (Update: I look back on this statement and I realise oh how so very naive I had been)!

IMPORTANT: As of right now, it seems I should be able to answer one-two questions per day (although it could be less frequent due to potential circumstances in the future) so keep that in mind!

After experimenting with the ask box I have decided that the box will be open for 24 hours whenever it opens! This is just so that people from different time zones can like, have an equal chance to get something in if they want, haha. No cap limit on the box for now, just go wild!

Master List of Asks :D (WIP)

Key:

💙- Mayor

💜 - Macaque

🩷 - Baihe (because of how many times she appears, she deserves her own key, haha :DDD)

Colours

Chapter One Asks 💜🩷

Chapter Two Asks 💙

Chapter Three Asks 💜🩷

Chapter Four Asks 💙

Chapter Five Asks 💜(🩷)

Chapter Six Asks 💙💜🩷

Chapter Seven Asks 💙💜🩷

Chapter Eight Asks 💙

Chapter Nine Asks 💜🩷

Chapter Ten Asks 💙

Chapter Eleven Asks 💙

Chapter Twelve Asks 💜

Chapter Thirteen Asks 💙

Chapter Fourteen Asks 💙💜

Winter Mornings, Summer Nights (Announcement Post)

Chapter One Asks 💜

Chapter Two Asks 💙💜

Chapter Three Asks 💙

Chapter Four Asks 💙💜

Chapter Five Asks 💜(💙)

Chapter Six Asks 💙💜

Chapter 'Seven' (now Eight) Asks 💙💜

Chapter 'Eight' (now Seven)💙💜🩷

Chapter Nine 💜(💙)

Chapter Ten 💙💜

Chapter Eleven 💜🩷

Chapter Twelve 💙💜

Chapter Thirteen 💙💜

Chapter Fourteen 💙💜

Chapter Fifteen 💙💜

AND THAT'S IT! I... think? This post will update as time goes on the more and more I learn how to help this blog function to the best of its ability. So please check this pinned post every time before you ask a question :DDD.

[alovesreading]

any fic recs? like fics you just cant live without other people reading?

okay i might not be the best person to ask this because i'm writing two long series at this moment and i barely have time to properly read fics like i used to but i can defo give you a little list of recommendations!

when you say fics i can't live without other people reading, Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis by my wonderful and incredibly talented best friend @imagine-that-100 is the first to come to my mind! An absolute masterpiece of a fic, alex turner x reader x matty healy love triangle that's just so well written and thought out that it makes me scream. I'm entirely obsessed with it and it truly is my roman empire LOL! (it also introduced me to the 1975 so we love it!)

make sure to check out the rest of N's work fr, all of her series are amazing and if you want one shots, Will We Talk is insanely good and I'm eager for her to post part 3 and All Is On My Side is everything to me as well!

of course, i have to add Aphasia by another one of my besties @red---moon 'cause that fic is just so damn good. I will be forever obsessed with the way Red writes and her characterisation is just so raw and real, it's genuinely inspiring. also if you want some george x reader x matty brainrot, her one shot Indecision is surely gonna drive you mad.

another one of my incredible best friends, @kennedy-brooke put out her first fic Dress which has a part 1 and part 2 and it's so fucking good, I think every George girlie needs to read ASAP!!!!

if you wanna indulge in some fun and really well fucking written gatty content, i have to send you over to read everything @vinylandcoffeecollection has out! In particular, The Cellophane House and its sequel Lost Boys had me in shambles and I loved it so much!!! Another gatty legend is @drinkurkombucha and i would defo recommend all of her work! my favourites will forever be Talking To George and Stranger Than (Fan)Fiction!

i fell in love with a Ross fic i read the other day by @butyou-callmewhenyourebored and i think it deserves more attention. i fully was almost crying by the end of it, it was so sweet and well written!!!

now if you need filthy smut to read, i will definitely be sending you over to @lottiecrabie! she is the absolute queen of smut and everything she has written has left me jaw dropped and gasping for air lollllll!!! (such a shame she's leaving but she will never be forgotten)

also Three's A Party by @abiiors!!! jesus christ almighty, when i tell you i died reading this, i mean it. pure ross x reader x george brainrot.

another one that had me gagged was Satiate by @heavenhealy! that fic had me sweating and screeching like an idiot.

and for the last filthy one that comes to my mind it is @toomuchracket one shot inspired by politician!matty that truly ended my life in the best way when i read it the other day.

let me end this all in a wholesome cute note and put you on dad!matty because Playing On My Mind by @ughgoaway has me in a chokehold and the little extras they have been posting have me swooning and wanting to die for dilf matty!

it's fair to say that this fandom is filled with talent and i have too little time to properly indulge in all the great pieces everyone puts out so this list is way too short! but i hope you enjoy this messy but great list lol!!!! i really hope that by the time i'm done with the long series i'm currently writing, i can read much more and actually give a longer and more organised list. hope this helps anyway!!

[onwhatcaptain]

hi i didn’t know what Star Trek was until i came across your fic it’s so. Real. poor McCoy bruh nobody’s gonna know what he went through …I guess it’s not entirely gone, but still. He didn’t get the three socks metaphor.

YOU TRICKED ME. canon divergent LIEEE LIEEEE

The way you omit time travel as a tag is craaazyy (I love time travel) AND AND THE SUNMARY BEING

“About men who love each other” LIKE NOT TWO MEN but all THREE

I do have one question though. If McCoy said “tell him you missed him” and set up the holo night, then in the first timeline had McCoy already gone back at that point and failed?

Hi! So I saw your comment on AO3 (please forgive me if it takes a moment to reply, I have an enormous backlog of comments to get around to after I took a break when the fic ended!) and I knew I absolutely had to ask you these burning questions: how did you find my fic if you didn't know what Star Trek was? What inspired you to read it?

I am beyond thrilled that you enjoyed the story and so touched that you read it all the way through without having seen Star Trek, but I absolutely have to ask what the story behind this is if you're willing to share with me!

It's definitely still canon divergent in a sort of way! At least in my figurative and literal book if you know the episode that inspired this novel, it would definitely be considered divergent:) I wanted to keep things as spoiler-free as possible to retain the surprise and emotional weight of the story, so I made the decision early on to not tag where the plot or ending was going, which definitely threw a lot of people off! Sorry for the trickery!

I ADORE that you pointed out the summary. I was actually shocked when I was reading this ask, because it was absolutely intentional and a huge part of the foreshadowing, but you're the only reader to my knowledge that has consciously noticed that choice, and you haven't even seen Star Trek!! Amazing!! I have such a big smile on my face right now!

More below because I realize this is getting long already!

As for poor McCoy, it is truly tragic nobody will know what he went through. In Star Trek, a lot of fans (rightfully) emphasize the love between Kirk and Spock, which I feel is only kept alive because of McCoy's quiet love for them both in the background as he takes care of them. In a way, it's a tribute to love that goes unnoticed, unseen.

With regards to your question, it's a great question! And I don't have a perfect answer for it, because it's entirely paradoxical. The first half of the story can only happen if the second half happens, because Kirk and Spock would not act on their feelings without the existence of the holo night and McCoy's intervention. But in the original timeline, they still die even though McCoy's actions in the latter half of the novel seem to exist. It's totally circular. It's expounded on somewhat in Forever and a Day, where McCoy tries to make sense of the same question and concludes that even if he does succeed, they will still die.

McCoy tries not to think about the horrifying implications. The knowledge that no matter what he did, he could not undo their deaths. To live, they would always need to die.

This doesn't necessarily mean that McCoy has gone back before, but it raise some serious questions about metaphysics and leaves a lot unanswered, because the two events now cause each other, and they also contradict each other. I actually took a stab at explaining the metaphysics in way greater detail in the fic originally, but my beta reader (correctly) told me this would confuse readers. So because it's confusing, I later just wave my sci-fi authorial wand to try and convince you to go along with it! :)

"And I like how the paradox makes no sense.” “I reckon it’s not meant to. They never do."

I do have to say, I recommend giving Star Trek a watch if you were interested! I think it's an amazing show. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read a whole novel about a show you had no idea about!!

[mokkkki]

been following your works since your AJA series and love your choice of allusions, references, metaphors, similes, and motifs - your intertextuality is so layered and insane and established so right off the bat (no pun intended). how do you do it?

hey gorgeous! okay, wow, this is a very big question and i will try to do my very best to answer, though i might miss some things just because of the ginormous nature of this ask.

read. the most important thing a writer can do is read. i love fic as much as the next person, but it's important to delve into works that have been professionally published. when people say this they dont understand that reading is only the first level (and ofc, the most important level) of this step. read fiction, non-fiction, comics, or whatever you want to write one day, and after you're done with that, read things that you would never, ever write. don't stick to a genre. don't even stick to a format! go to podcasts, video games, movies. all of these are based on scripts. it is so so important to be able to recognize those universal elements of good media. there are so many components to this: reading will give you more general knowledge that might work its way into your writing one day, it allows you to meet a vast variety of povs, it develops your critical thinking skills, and ofc, it can even provide a roadmap for your later projects. writing has no rules, but if it had one, id have to say this: a good writer knows good writing, and the fastest way to that is reading a lot.

research. this ties into the fact that reading a lot will give you more general knowledge, and i think that general knowledge is an important factor in being able to write well! you asked specifically about my intertextuality, and most of my intertextuality is historical or religious in nature. i chose to intertwine my characters with historical and religious figures because i like them and the information i have built in! "research" doesn't have to be some crazy note-taking adventure (though it certainly can be if you want it to), it can quite literally be reading a wikipedia article on the toilet. some fascinating aspects of history i personally enjoy reading about is the ancient world, which ties directly into mythology, and eventually flows into abrahamic religions. religious intertextuality is so built-in and inherent, just because of its universally applicable themes (death and rebirth) that apply to every story told. i think its a great place to start if you are trying to add intertextuality to something you've written! i also recommend looking at non-western history, because it tends to be overshadowed, and there is truly so many fascinating things contained within it.

write. like. duh! and im afraid this might sound a little discouraging, but i think that if its your first time writing (and your goal is to be a good writer, rather than a cute hobby on the side), you also have to know that on some level, your first draft/project will suck compared to published novels, just a little bit. but you can't let that discourage you! you just have to keep going. its still something you've created, and even if that thing is ten pages of a bathing grandpa's stream of consciousness, it is valuable and important. i literally mean that with all my heart. i think that writing is a really tough discipline sometimes, just because it's a solitary activity where you type out what is, for all intents and purposes, an extended daydream you are having, and its for that reason that people tend to just run out of steam halfway through a project. you have to be able to motivate and push yourself. write like the wind! write poems and short stories and scripts and fanfic and novellas and epics, experiment with different styles, and above all, know that the content you are creating has value, simply because it came from you.

okay, i think that's everything! thank you so much for trusting me to answer such an important question, and if there is anything that seems unclear to you, please don't hesitate to leave another ask or even send a draft over <3 lots of love!

[shostakobitchh]

finally admitted to myself that ok maybe i doooo ship snily 🙄 the thing is that i cannot find fics… i mean i *can* but there’s too many and i don’t know where to start……. so this is me asking for recommendations from the only jily shipper i know of (i’m not in the fandom a lot lol). i think it would be cool to read about them getting together as adults or something where snape is a little bi (turns out i also ship snape and sirius…. whatever ok!!!) but truly anything you have i’m accepting hehe i trust you! thank you bye!!! ps; i miss a&i aka the fic that i love so much and that i shamelessly recommend to literally everyone i know xxxxx

hi!

I'm gonna be real with you; there is very little Snily and even fewer stories I've found that do them both justice. I find that many make Lily a damsel in distress with like, her only driving motive to be a mother, and James is ALWAYS a POS. And Snape becomes an alpha male who is too controlling and it just skeeves me out. Lily loses all autonomy the second they do the deed and it's just not my thing. Even with the few Snape/OC fics I've read; if Snape is not like feral and nasty and with someone who can match that energy, I have no interest in it.

I have two major stories that come to mind with A+++ Snily. I have discovered recently that I am somewhat of a Snape Snob when it comes to fics where I only enjoy it if he is an unhinged, bitter little asshole who is a little nuts and Lily is like, the only one who can stomach him and keep him somewhat calm, but she can absolutely match his level of crazy if/when she needs to.

Come Once Again and Love Me - laventadorn

I read this nearly a decade ago and I haven't picked it up again because it just breaks my heart and puts it back together. It's a "Snape gets a do-over" but he does NOT want the do-over - he doesn't want anything to do with Lily at all at first - but the author does such a beautiful job of showing Snape as a bitter 30-something-year-old back as a teen just as his life took a dark turn. And Lily is AMAZING - her grief over losing her life old life (when she thinks of Harry it's gutting) but finding Snape again is just - UGH. She doesn't put up with his shit. She matches him and doesn't back down. She's awesome. A true queen.

A Dream Carved in Stone - diadelphous

I forgot about this one for a long time and recently reread it - I think I accidentally took inspiration from it with a certain potion LOL so I am giving full credit here - BUT - THIS is the best Snily I have ever read. It's during the first war where Lily and James never got together and Dumbledore approaches Lily and asks her to get Snape to confess he's a Death Eater. Their love story is - SO. FUCKING. GOOD.

They are both a little broken and a little crazy, but when people ask me how it would've gone down if Snape had known about Lily being pregnant, THIS story is how it would've gone down. When he's Soft with Lily it's so natural, it's so tender and raw and I die a little. Also, his reaction when Lily says she's pregnant is 10/10. It makes me laugh and cry every time.

I'm sorry I don't have more but I genuinely don't know of any others (at least that I like). I love this pairing so much LOL it makes me so sad there's nothing out there.

[booksandabeer]

Hey,

I love your blog and I love how much work you put in when someone ask you to recommend fics for them, you’re truly beyond AMAZING! Just getting that out of the way.

And now, can you please tell me your favourite underrated stucky fics. I know this might be too big of an ask because there are SO MANY out there, so just tell me a few if you don’t mind.

Thank you so much ❤️

Hello Stranger!

Thank you for the ask and your very kind words! ❤ It's so nice to hear that people like my rec posts because they really do take a surprisingly large amount of time to put together. Anyway, I'm not complaining & this is a lot of fun for me, so on to the recs!

I struggled a bit with how to define "underrated" and I think everybody has their own ideas of what exactly that means. Also, the Stucky ship has been around for more than a decade (even longer if you count the comics), so creative output and reader interest will fluctuate and ultimately decline over time. A Stucky fic posted after 2019--no matter how insanely good it is--will never do the numbers it would have done in the Golden Age of 2014-2018. So, for the purpose of this list, a fic written in 2016 with 15K hits or less does qualify as underrated, while a fic posted in 2021 with 10-15K would not.

Also, as always, this list is by no means an exhaustive one.

the wrote and the writ by declanlynchsrack | G, 10K

Author's summary: Bucky’s crying before he’s off the boat and he’s the least surprised out of anyone to realize it.

He’s always been a softie, a leaky faucet, and the war hasn’t changed that, so he doesn’t know why the sob that smacks him startles him bad enough that he grips the strap of his bag doubly hard, ready to swing it around like a battering ram, ready to find that cloying, invisible enemy. He’s not being ambushed, on his belly in the muck and camellias, cypress hanging low, moonlight casting an eerie smile upon Lake Como like it’s enjoying the hell out of muffled gunshots and the wet grunt of lifeblood spattering onto the undergrowth.

That’s done. He’s safe.

An AU in which Bucky--minus one arm--comes back from the war and Steve never got to go, and never became Captain America. A scrappy little story that is at once full of emotion and yet completely unsentimental. This story socked me on the jaw, tackled me to the ground, and then sat on me while twisting, twisting, twisting my arm behind my back. It also has one of my favorite descriptions of the SteveBucky dynamic I've ever read: "They’re all roughed up, the two of em, a pair of old marble statues weathered by time and harsh touches, but they know each other’s chinks and foibles and can side-step them with grace while still treating the other about as delicately as they’d handle a sack of potatoes." !!! If you prefer, you can also listen to it here: [Podfic] the wrote and the writ by quietnight

Hollywoodland by romanticalgirl | E, 69K

Author's summary: In 1930s Hollywood, the world is run on the studio system. Stars are told who to date, what to wear, what to say, and how to look pretty doing it. The only way you can really do what you want is if you don't get caught.

Steve's dating Peggy, which works out because she's married to Sam, even though it's not legal. But it's the perfect cover for the fact that Steve's gay. He's managing just fine skirting the system to find companionship, but then he meets James Barnes and life gets a lot more complicated.

If you know anything about me and my love for Golden Age Hollywood, then you won't be surprised that this pushes all of my buttons. This is loosely inspired by the real life relationship of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott (the exact nature of which we will probably never know, but let's just say it was most likely not strictly platonic). Is the world the author created here entirely realistic? No--and it's not intended to be. While it is indeed rooted in many of the horrible realities that queer people and POC have faced in the past (and are still facing today), it's a slightly kinder version of it that allows for a hopeful, if not a strictly happy ending in the traditional sense. A sumptious story with gorgeous art.

make progress together by frankoceansmoonriver | E, 24K

Author's summary: He feels like Steve’s mistress. He feels hollowed out. He feels like a jammed gun still trying to go off. When he’s not with Steve he convinces himself he’s ruining Steve’s life, and though he tries, he’s too selfish to stop. When he’s with Steve, he’d fight God himself to keep it, this tangible perfection that makes him drunk and anchors him in ways he did not know existed.

Or, the one where they both survived the war, Bucky loves Steve now, has loved Steve since he was fifteen, and the year is 1945.

This is a story that I have reread many, many times because it is the perfect wish fulfillment fic for me. It's the slightly unrealistic, or one could also say: optimistic version of what I imagine would have happened had Steve and Bucky both survived the war. That's not to say that this fic doesn't have its very angsty moments, but ultimately, this is a story about love and hope triumphing in the face of adversity, and sometimes you just want to see good things happen to good people. I know some readers may find the formatting and the non-linear structure challenging, but this is a beautiful story and I really urge you all to give it a try!

I'll Light Your Way Home series by BeaArthurPendragon | M-E, 69K, 5 parts

Author's summary: Two lost Vietnam vets find each other in a Hell's Kitchen gay bar one hot September night. This is how they find their way home.

A pattern emerges! Can you tell I'm really into (No Powers) AUs set in the early to mid 20th century? Well, here's another one, but we're actually moving into second half of the century, specifically to 1969, for this one! Bea is quite possibly my favorite Stucky writer and I have recommended her stories many times to anybody who will listen to me. It's debatable whether or not she actually counts as "underrated", I guess, but it is my personal opinion that her fics should have ten times the kudos/comments/hits they do and that she deserves to be up there with the "big names". This story in particular just completely won over my heart with its gorgeous (but not ostentatious) writing, its confident and mature characterizations, and great eye for historical detail. I *cannot* recommend her fics enough. /unabashed fangirl moment over.

The Northern Lights by ThisChairIsMyHomeNow | M, 21K

Author's summary: “I can’t feel my face,” Steve shivers.

“I can’t feel my left arm,” Bucky says, deadpan. Steve barks out a laugh. It’s all white puffs of vapor in the chilly air.

“This the spot?”

“Nah,” Bucky pants, breath ragged from the long ascent up a mountain. “Almost there.”

A post-CW canon-divergent story that the author jokingly describes in their author's note as "gay superhero reluctantly gets therapy in the jungles of Wakanda, then goes on a covert road trip." And yes, maybe I wouldn't put it quite so flippantly myself, but it's not... untrue. And yet there is so much more depth to it. If you like a Bucky who takes back his life, his identity, and his future on his own terms, a Steve who isn't reduced to being his recovery prop but instead gets to shine in all his glorious, intense, stubborn Steve-ness, and a Sam & a Natasha who aren't just window dressing for the SteveandBucky-Show, this is for you! Cap Quartet Road Trip where all four members get their moment to shine--what are you waiting for?

Misplaced Pencils | T, 13K & and our words would take us 'round the world | T, 13K by Somanywords

Author's summary:

Steve and drawing throughout the years. Also Bucky.

&

Bucky is two years old when he learns to talk.

I've spent a good 30 minutes debating with myself which one of these two I should include here, and then I just threw up my hands and said "why not both? Both is good!" So here they are, two beautifully written mid-length full-arc (childhood to sometime past TWS, where they diverge from canon) fics that I love both equally. These are standalone stories and are not set in the same universe, but they do read and feel like companion pieces to each other because both stories are told through the lense of Steve and Bucky's respective artistic sensibilities and how they use their art as a framework to make sense of the world. Misplaced Pencils gives you artist Steve who, from a very young age on, has always tried to understand the world by taking it apart into its visual components & falling back on a fixed set of questions that help him to categorize and compartmentalize the people he encounters and the emotions he feels for them (just like he will later do in other areas of his life). Only that there is of course one person who's always refused to fit neatly into just one of his categories. and our worlds... on the other hand, gives you storyteller Bucky who's constantly talking, singing, writing. Who, in the end, can't help himself but narrate even his own fall and who is later delightfully affronted by his own narrative arc in a "if I had been the one in charge, I would've written it better!" way. Both of these stories are very dear to my heart and they deserve a million more hits.

+ Bonus!

Fics that definitely could/should be on this list but that I've recced before:

You are here by dharmashark

A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall by DisraeliGears

Prisoner One by ancientreader

As Time Goes By by Trouble_With_The_Snap

new topography series by brideofquiet

What I'm Looking For series by TessaBennet

Welcome Home, Son series by BeaArthurPendragon

I'm slowly working my way through my rec asks, so please be patient with me! Next up: Road Trip fics!

[anonzentimes]

I've kind of realized something after spending a while digging through various fic recommendations. If a fic is recommended by TVTropes, there's a high likelihood that the characterization of Nagito is gonna be pretty bad. The site's consensus on the character is pretty much a distillation of all the most shallow Reddit takes on the character. "Nagito's a static character", "He gets sexually aroused by Hope", "Hajime despises him (no we're not projecting and using him as our self-insert)", etc. etc. Oh, and can't forget to indulge the bullshit theory about him maybe having raped Monaca. Like it's almost comical just how much whoever wrote his Trope Pantheon entry clearly despised him. With Nagito being shat on to a much greater extent than other fictional characters who've done mountains worse than him (looking at you Harley Quinn).

Also that kind of goes for the various story blogs I've seen around this site. I'm struggling to think of a single one where the characterization of him didn't engage in some sort of petty bashing. Mudslinging that the people making them will defend by crying "We're just giving him REAL character development that the OVA didn't". The New Future and Survivor are some of the worst examples of this.

the moment I read reddit takes on the character in reference to Nagito you KNOW I was shaking in my boots at what horrendous things would be coming up and then you start listing the worst of the worst dirt that gets thrown on him from people who fundamentally hate or misunderstand him and it just got progressively worse like

It’s crazy how bad the mischaracterizations and arguments can be over Nagito it’s so ridiculous… I have a desire to understand most everything I love and fear mischaracterizing or misunderstanding the characters I love and seeing people be so relentlessly unforgiving mischaracterizing him is always so crazy to me Lol. I know the entire point is that there’s a misunderstanding so people usually don’t understand or aren’t self aware of it, which is the scariest part about it in my opinion, but my god it’s dreadful the things these people do and say. I’ve had people in my inbox scream that it’s not that big of a deal and it’s so annoying, like yes it matters because the character matters to people. Not to mention most of the mischaracterizations are usually rooted in some sort of ableism and homophobia it’s truly dreadful. The reason I’ve ever even gotten any traction I’m pretty sure is because apparently being decent and understanding Nagito without bashing him is something people applaud me for Lol. I don’t think I’m that special, but when there’s so many annoying people over this character and when people find someone who is not like that who can and attempts to articulate things about the complex character I think people enjoy it. Even if there’s a good amount of people who understand his character the amount that bash on him, are homophobic towards him, ableist towards him, and mischaracterize him, is just so extremely disgusting that it feels offensive. There is no reason that stupid “theory” about Monaca should ever exist other than disgusting filthy minds who should rethink about their place in this world. I hate them very much. I’m glad I can provide something good for him, at least hopefully, because he means so much to me. I wish everyone could understand him because the misunderstandings he has are so disgustingly extreme and horrible. I understand that he is a complex character but I will NEVER tolerate stupidly horrendous reddit takes throwing dirt on him ever.

[mrsriddles-blog]

I actually find it quite rude that you do this weekly rec thing ? It's disrespectful to other writers who also write great stuff ..... Maybe you should just stop it or if you love it so much maybe in a month or something? When did you start this stuff anyway ? As a writer I feel like you should be more considerate towards other writers feelings . And no this is not out of jealousy , my work has been on your list and that's how I found out about this . In no way am i putting you down , I just wanted to get this out in a way that didn't seem rude

I started the weekly read thing to mainly keep track of everything I read during the week. It’s literally everything I’ve read so far this year. I love it and I do think it gives authors the spotlight during the week. I try to get new authors included every week if possible, but I genuinely just go through a read what I have in my likes posts and keep track of it.

I never meant to offend anyone and make anyone think it’s rude. It wasn’t my intention. I did consider once a month, but I prefer the weekly reads simply because I do read a lot on Tumblr and it’s hard enough to keep track of it all in my notes app where I compile the list.

I started at the beginning of the year as a new way to track what I was reading, but as an author myself I wanted to be able to recommend other works from other authors. It can be challenging to find these amazing works, especially when tags are misused constantly. So, as a reader it’s nice to be able to help other readers/authors who may struggle with finding new fics for their favorite characters.

If there are truly more than just you out there who don’t like that I do this and whatnot, feel free to reach out. If you don’t want to be on the list, you can tell me and I’ll make a list of those who want no part of the list. But, I’m sorry you find it disrespectful and rude. I never intended for that. I had done it in the beginning to help me keep track of what I was reading as I love to read a lot on here (I have OCD and really bad ADHD, so it’s a nice little thing I’ve done to keep me organized, but to help me remember) , Ao3, and Wattpad. It’s easy for me to keep track of all that I read—and there are some fics I find myself going back to because I loved them so much—so this was not to gain any sort of limelight on myself for doing or to shade other authors or whatnot. If anything, I mean the best and I know I try to include some writers who have just started on the Tumblr platform as it can be hard to find your audience.

Again, I never meant to offend anyone or to make it seem as if I were being rude. If anyone truly feels that way, feel free to message me or comment below. I won’t be offended! But, if there’s truly a lot of people out there who fill this way, maybe I will stop doing the posts and find another way to keep track of the reads. Again, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Or I can continue, but if you’ve been on the list and don’t want to be on it, message me. I’ll be sure not to put you on the list in the future if it makes you uncomfortable or if you simply don’t like it.

I’m sorry to anyone who has been on the list and if I’ve offended you. I hadn’t seen anything negative, so I assumed that everyone was enjoying it as much as I.

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week in Review X

No obnoxious coffee in the car this week for a little driveway session. BUT Mr. Truly did bring me back one with doughnuts after Lil’ Truly’s (baby Truly's older sibling) swim lesson and couldn’t understand how a box of doughnuts could make me smile so wide (looking at you @secretelephanttattoo & @morallyinept 🍩)

Really enjoying the October prompts I started - it's been a fun break to get into something with no pressure and to just write without worrying about anything. I can't believe I'm like halfway through and I've not thrown in the towel yet (I've been tempted to skip a few days). It's also given way to some inspiration for some ongoing wip's and populated some new ones (I see you Tim Rockford).

But because of this, it's not really left me much time to read - so another light week, but it's okay! It means my TBR list (it's a work in progress that I've been neglecting and there's so much missing) is bursting with some incredibly great fanfics to get my teeth into next month!

Also, I am LIVING for everyone's weekly rounds ups, no matter how you format it or what you share - it's such a joy to see them popping up and getting to learn a little more about the people in this community!

T R U L Y U P D A T E S . . .

oct' x 08 - umbrellas (will miller x gn!reader)

oct' x 09 - ravens (maverick!frankie x reader)

oct' x 10 - oktoberfest (sequins!joel x reader)

oct' x 11 - pumpkin spice (marcus x reader) (parts II & III coming later this month)

oct' x 12 - cornfields(sequins!joel x f!reader)

oct' x 13 - black cat (tim rockford x gn!reader)

oct' x 14 - spooky (dieter x gn!reader)

W H A T I R E A D . . .

Fort Bravo (Dieter) by @secretelephanttattoo Of course our man Bravo would be building blanket forts in his walk in wardrobe this week. I very much would like to build my own to go hide out with and wouldn’t say no to sharing it with Dieter either. Medicinal Purposes (Frankie) by @grogusmum Ironic I read this at the start of the week and finished it with two days off of work for a migraine lol. Alas, I did not have Frankie show on my doorstep to offer his services - but this was a spicy read that I may have read a couple of times for educational purposes. 

PATS (Pedro Across the Street not RPF) by @oonajaeadira There’s a re-read this month, and not that I need an excuse, but it’s been fun dipping back into this world and reminding myself that I really should go book myself a massage. If you haven’t read this series I wholeheartedly recommend it, it’s top tier. It’s a comfort and a spicy read at the same time. 

Headshots | Chapter 3 (Marcus) by @secretelephanttattoo El has been making waves in the Pike Puddle™️ with her Marcus Pike offerings as of late and this third instalment to Headshots is makes no less of an impact. This is so Marcus and just so sweet. 

Salty & Sweet (Marcus) by @secretelephanttattoo I’m not the biggest fan of popcorn, but if Marcus Pike wants to eat it off me, who am I to say no? 

Swimming Lessons with Catfish (Frankie) by @avastrasposts Okay, aside from the jokes that this is the title of the sex tape could make of this fic, this is an incredibly smoke show of a drabble that I may or  may not have read a couple of times. 

Frankie to the Rescue (Frankie) by @avastrasposts Again, Avastra is just blowing it out of the water with these drabbles this week! The whole time reading this I was excited to find out how it would play out and it did not disappoint. 

Paranoid Heart (Javi P.) by @goodwithcheese I’m so behind with my reblogs this week (don’t look in my drafts) - but Megan comes in again this week with another fantastic instalment to this series and I’m falling for these two so hard. 

in another life… (Frankie) by @chronically-ghosted Speaking of being behind, I read this while on one of my sick days and I’d you’ve not read Taylor’s work, you’re sleeping on it and you should check it out. This here is a slice of life with Frankie that is utterly atmospheric and beautifully written. 

Bloom | Chapter 2 (Joel) by @wildemaven-prompts I. Am. Here. For. This 🙌 the little slow burn, Joel being a little awkward, the descriptions of the flowers 🌸 and most of all Ellie who almost manages to steal the show in every appearance. This whole series is a delight and we’re only two chapters in!

Unlikely Friends (Joel) by @sweetercalypso Despite having adopted Frankie Cat™️ last month I’m still not 100% on the cat train (don’t tell Frankie, she’s still bitching about the Andes man) - but this is incredibly sweet and I absolutely resonate with Joel trying to win over a cat (Frankie Cat may have just pounced at my feet from under the armchair that I’m supposed to pretend I didn’t see her under)

…assie (Frankie) by @frenchiereading I love everything Mel has been sharing with us from the Shared Breaths universe and this is just incredibly sweet. I don’t want to spoil anything, but my heart may have grown three sizes after reading the ending. 

Ring Toss (Frankie) by @morallyinept Okay, if @secretelephanttattoo hadn’t changed my perspective on doughnuts, then Jett has permanently altered all thoughts about them. This is is just, lustfully and sinfully indulgent and Frankie is just a menace 🍩

M E M O R A B L E P O S T S . . .

Megan's 1K celebrations, go drip into her Asks and repent to our Gouda Mother of Cheesus

Catfish PhD program had another assignment: Module 6 - The Licence Suspension

All of @wildemaven's moodboards, they're beautiful and such a mooood 💕

Three words, LAW. ENFORCEMENT. BALL. @sin-djarin threw out a thot and a hero came along and answered the prayer we didn't all know we needed, @for-a-longlongtime and presented us with a treat with this WIP

I did a bad job of tracking this week, there were so many more great posts this week that I got to be a part of and enjoyed!

B R O U G H T T H E J O Y . . .

Honestly? This community. I feel like I sound like a broken record on the topic now and that if I keep going on about how wonderful everyone is here it’s going to lose all meaning. But I’m getting to witness friendships being made through posts, a community being built in real-time and getting to know you all better is a real joy.

Having said that, despite the bullshit I put out - I am socially awkward at my core and trying to preach what I say and jump into more inboxes and DM's. But both of mine are always open if you want to drop down and discuss anything or everything 🙌

Also, if we want something superficial to balance that out, I’m almost finished with Sons of Anarchy season seven, finally (oh I have so many feels), and copious amounts of gratuitous Jax Teller nudity certainly never goes unwelcomed amongst the angst (Kurt Sutter knew what he was doing). I will be dropping into your Asks at some point @laurfilijames, be warned (also still thinking about the ask you sent me, is not forgotten!).

T H I S W E E K ' S J A M . . .

Adeem the Artist has been on permanent rotation since @goodwithcheese shouted them out and I love everything about this song. The feel-good beat, the voice and those lyrics? 🙌 *perfection*

Happy Sunday all! Wising everyone a good week ahead! 💛

[formula-fun]

hi there, let me walk you throught the last few days of my life

saw a list of history recommendations here on tumblr last Friday, saw the series if I had words there and thought "well let's give it a shot!"

started reading Friday night, got obsessed with it, couldn't stop, finished max's part Sunday, a little after the race.

got sad it ended and then VERY happy when I remember about the other part!!

started reading Sunday afternoon, got obsessed with it, couldn't stop, finished charles' part five minutes ago

All of this to day, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORK 😭😭😭

like WTH IS SOO GOOD

the construction, the order of the events, seeing everything fall into place after reading both parts, max learning to grow older and softer, charles understanding his feelings and letting himself have nice things, their mom's, the packs, the I love yous, oh my GOD 😭😭

broke my heart when I reached the end because I could keep read more and more and more of those two maybe forever??

definitely interest in a sequel or spin off or any little crumb showing just a peek of them again

again, amazing work, absolutely brilliant all around (and I was always laughing at your notes hahaha)

sending love !!

😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank youuuuuu i literally cannot tell you how much i love this, hhh. I DO NOT HAVE WORDS

this fic is truly my child, i put so much time and attention into it and i love the way it turned out so much <33 ive never allowed myself to just take my time on something and keep scrapping it over and over until it was exactly how i wanted it, but i'm so glad i did! it makes me really happy that other people appreciate the care that went into it and appreciate the way everything falls into place. i promise it was HEADACHE inducing at times to write two different stories about the same event but it was also really really fun

and thank you abt notes ahhahsahs i do NOT put as much effort into my notes. i usually write my notes at the last second after editing for like 3 hrs straight and just roll on vibes, so im glad you enjoy that <33

dfkjdfksd i'm running low on crumbs but you can have this!! it's from a version of the final chapter in which jos DID tell the press about the miscarriage

Max wakes him up with a kiss at the base of his neck, and then one on his mouth that lingers sweetly. His hands are hesitant on Charles’ waist, his touch light and skittish, which Charles always hates. Charles tells him so, and Max lets out a husky laugh.

“You want more?” he asks, his tone still hesitant even when his eyes are dancing. It makes Charles roll his own eyes, and then roll him; pin him down into the mattress by his wrists and bite at his jaw.

“I want you to touch me like you mean it,” he mutters into his skin.

Max’s wrists flex beneath his grip, muscles coiled and ready to fight. His mouth is curved when Charles kisses it, but he bites Charles’ lip anyway.

“Mean what?” Max whispers against his mouth when they part.

That I’m yours, Charles thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He can’t say it. He can’t really admit to something like that, yet; can’t allow himself to, even if he already knows it’s halfway true. He wants to mean it when he says it, and Max—Max hasn’t chosen him yet.

“That you want me,” Charles says instead. He brushes his nose against Max’s jawline; against his pulse point; follows the line of his throat down to the spot where his mark would go and lets his breath dance over it. Max’s chest goes stone still beneath his own.

Charles ducks forward and brushes a chaste kiss there, as softly as he can. Max shivers beneath him, his eyelids fluttering shut. His tendons shift under Charles’ palms as his hands clench into loose fists.

“Do you—”

In a blink they’re rolling over, Max pressing him down, one hand at the small of his back and the other beneath his knee. Max kisses him hard.

“Like I couldn’t,” Max hisses against his mouth when they part. “What kind of question is that?”

Charles just quirks an eyebrow. “Show me,” he says simply.

For a while, he’s able to forget about it all.

Of course it only lasts as long for it takes the two of them to shower, get dressed and part ways; as soon as he arrives in the paddock he’s swarmed. It’s not the fans—they’re not allowed back here today—or even that people are yelling questions. People know not to try; not when paddock passes can get revoked and fines can be given.

They don’t do anything so stupid, but it doesn’t matter. The scrutiny is just as bad; two dozen cameras following his every move as if waiting for him to do something.

He breathes a sigh of relief as he ducks into the Ferrari hospitality. Andrea slips in after him, and he’s kind enough not to say anything about the way Charles is morosely stuffing biscuits from the coffee bar into his mouth.

“I called your pack off,” he tells Charles, making himself an espresso. He almost manages to look disinterested while he does it.

Charles just raises his eyebrows. “Did you?”

“Well, Pierre did. They didn’t really listen to me.” He dumps two sugars into his coffee, stirring a little aggressively, and then rolls his eyes at the look Charles is giving him. “Oh, leave me alone. It’s been a stressful morning. How are you doing?”

Charles shrugs. “We knew this was going to happen,” he points out.

“Yeah, I know. That wasn’t really my question.”

“I’m,” Charles starts, then looks down at his biscuit; the crescent bite taken out of it. “It’s fine. I don’t think it has fully hit me yet.”

Andrea purses his lips. He nods. “Fred said they’re not allowed to ask any questions about it in the presser. You’re with Pierre, Alex, Oscar and George, so even if someone tries something, you won’t be alone. It was the best we could do.”

“Max?” Charles asks, in spite of himself.

Andrea’s lips somehow purse even harder. “The FIA was strongly advised to give him a week off.”

“But not me.”

“You wouldn’t want a week off.”

Charles hums. That’s true.

“Besides,” Andrea adds in an undertone, “I know you will want to set an example that this is not to be discussed in the paddock. It’s not Fred’s decision, obviously, but…”

“But you don’t trust Max to be able to do the same,” Charles finishes for him.

“I trust him,” Andrea argues. “I trust him to say what we’re all thinking, which is that this is stupid and everyone should fuck off. I just also know that will only make things worse.”

Charles tilts his head, conceding the point. He breaks a crumb off his biscuit; pushes it past his lips.

“Is he alright?” Andrea asks after a beat, his voice quiet. “After last night?”

Andrea had been the one to check on them when they hadn’t reemerged from the bedroom suite, only to find them curled up on the bed, Max having finally passed out. Charles had kissed his forehead before slipping out to join the media strategy session; had pulled the duvet over him as he went. He’d called room service after everyone had finally left, coaxing Max into eating comfort food in bed with him, some meaningless travel show playing in the background, giving Max’s red-rimmed eyes somewhere to drift when they refused to meet Charles’ own.

“He’s fine,” Charles mutters, then scrubs at his hair. “Or he will be fine. I don’t know. He has this stupid idea that he has to be the strong one all the time. He doesn’t feel like he should need me when I am the one who everyone is talking about, and when he thinks it is all his fault.”

“Why does he think that?” Andrea asks.

“Because Jos was the only one who could have told them. Nobody else knew. And Max was the one who told Jos.”

Andrea chews that over, sipping his coffee.

“I don’t know why it matters,” Charles adds. “It is out now. It doesn’t matter how it got out.”

“You could always sue Jos,” Andrea muses. “Defamation or whatever.”

“It’s not worth it.”

“Isn’t it?”

Charles shrugs. Maybe it would give him some sense of satisfaction; probably not. “It would just give the media more to talk about,” he says. “It would make Max feel worse. I would gain nothing. It was going to come out eventually anyway,” he adds. “It was always a matter of time, wasn’t it?”

Andrea grimaces. “It’s hard to say,” he admits, “but these things tend to not stay secrets for long.”

[ofmermaidstories]

1. Not really....? It's hard to figure out my actual thoughts on it but I guess, Self-inserting for me feels like it's designed for one person in mind (whoever is being inserted) when x reader can be anyone? And from what I've seen, the content is a bit different.

2. Probably? Definitely. But will I be the person criticizing it? No... I'm not really the type to be vocal about my grievances outside of the occasional personal aside. I usually just don't trust what I have to say is constructive. But I do love hearing what other people have to say.

3. Everything

Jkjk, um.... I'd say my motivation and writing style? (That doesn't fall under everything, right?) I just don't write very effectively. Like- I have a story in my head, but actually putting it down in writing, I kinda just wing it? Like write as I go. Which is fun for developing character lore, or short stories. It leads to a lot of stop and go with longer works, and the problem with that is that it looks clunky! If I'm an a completely different state of my mind than I was when I started a piece the words I put down don't really flow well with what came before. So I have to read and reread what's already been written and play mediator by finding a way to transition from one feeling to the next.

I mostly write for friends or for fun, though, so it's forgivable.

the content being different for self-inserting vs x reader is such an important distinction!! like. also in how you engage with it, too? like—i’m always interested in self-shippy stuff from a, best friend at brunch kinda way, you know? like “YESSSS tell me more, omg, you guys are sooo cute together 🥹” whereas if someone is like, bits&pieceing about an idea for a x reader setup, i’m engaging with it as a reader, like, oh, i am interested in whatever this this piece or fic is trying to lure us in with.

i keep running into i guess… fan-only spaces, for varying Big Fics? and they’re always so interesting to scroll through, because it’s just either people gushing about Said Fic, or like, recommending similar ones, OR it’s someone starting a conversation (a tiktok is the example i’m thinking of) being like, “deku wouldn’t wear fishnets” and then like, everyone who’s had similar grievances just like, jumping in LOL. none of it—the universal loving and the dismissal—is like.. in any way truly critical? it’s just people who’ve found each other agreeing over varying things. true constructive criticism (at least in fanfics) is hard… because you do have to seperate yourself from, “is this just not for me” vs. “i see and understand where this story is trying to land, but i don’t think it makes it” and even then you kinda have to… justify it, you know? like, is it not landing because it’s missed the mark, or do you just wish it did something different? and what i like about fanfic is that we (ideally) afford each other the—generosity of forgiving things, LOL. and i guesssss my original question is more… does becoming a mega, fandom-defining fic mean the fic then loses the privilege of that generosity? i think it must create a distance between it and the fandom it’s from, in a way… it sort of takes on the same… almost for-granted quality we might have with a published book? are we removing ourselves from it, by holding it up? HMMM. questions questions ig LOL.

with no. 3—flow is hard!!! 🥺 do you have any like, rituals or anything to get yourself back into the mindset you had, before picking up the piece again? if i leave off in the middle of a scene or whatever that needs to stick to a specific mood i listen to my playlist for the fic, or whatever. 🥹 it kinda helps to limber everything back up again. but—i mean!!! as long as you have fun with it, in the end. 🥺 the process of writing takes up so much time… we need to enjoy it, in some small way. especially if the end result is for friends and fun. 🥹