#made me so excited to create again and reignited my love for it

[theghostofashton]

.

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Art Class | Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

Request: from @iamasimpfor2dcharachers

Synopsis: When Hyunjin moved to Paris in a desperate attempt to find his inspiration, he didn't expect to find it in the form of a person he would meet in an art class he signed up for.

Warnings: Feelings of lack of motivation, inspiration.

Word Count: 672

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Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

Hyunjin took a seat at an empty easel, feeling unsure about what to expect from this art class he signed up for. Despite his natural talent for painting and sketching, he had never enrolled in an art class before. His passion for the art world had always fueled his creativity, but lately, he felt unmotivated and uninspired. His work seemed forced and lacked the spark it once had.  

After confiding in his friend Chan, Hyunjin decided not to give up on art. Instead, he made the bold choice to move to Paris in search of renewed inspiration. Now, two weeks into his new adventure, he sat in an art class, hoping to reignite his passion. 

As he settled into his seat at the easel, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement mixed with nervousness. The art class in Paris is a far cry from his usual routine back home, but he knew that this was exactly what he needed to break free from the creative rut he’d been stuck in. 

The initial excitement faded into annoyance as he obediently followed the art instructor's instructions. The enthusiasm he felt for this painting class began to disappear as he struggled to blend the colors on his canvas. 

"You can paint whatever your heart desires," a gentle voice broke through the instructor’s monotone voice.  

He looked to his side to find a woman around his age said, her eyes shifting between the mishmash of colors on his canvas and him.  

He turns to her and asks, "What if I don't feel any desire in my heart at the moment?"  

She smiles and replies, "I'm just suggesting that you don't have to paint exactly what the teacher wants us to paint." With that, she returns her attention to her own artwork.  

Hyunjin seizes the opportunity to steal a quick glance at her painting. He finds himself puzzled by the chaotic blend of blues, greens, and yellows that adorn her canvas. 

He looks back at her, finding her completely lost in her painting. He can't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration for her. The way she paints with grace and confidence, completely in her element, is mesmerizing to him. 

Suddenly, the annoyance melts away, and is replaced by a surge of inspiration. He turns back to his canvas and starts painting again, this time taking her advice into consideration. His brush moves with a newfound purpose. Each stroke, he tries to capture the warmth in her eyes and the curve of her smile.  

The colors on his palette blend effortlessly to create a portrait that mirrored the beauty he saw before him.  

He was so engrossed in his painting that he barely heard the instructor announcing that they had five minutes to clean up and leave.  

As he started tidying up, he suddenly realized that he never got the woman's name. "Excuse me," he called out, catching her attention before she could walk away. She turned towards him, wearing the same friendly smile as before. "I never got your name."  

"I'm Y/N," she introduced herself, extending her hand towards him.  

"I'm Hyunjin," he replied, shaking her hand and giving a slight bow.  

"It was nice to meet you, Hyunjin," she said. "Will you be here for the next class?"  

"Will you be here?" he asked, hesitating to answer, unsure of his own plans.  

She shook her head, her smile faltering slightly. "I have a wedding to attend next Friday."  

"Would you like to grab coffee sometime?" he asked, hopeful.  

Her smile brightened once again. "I would love to. Is tomorrow at 10am good for you?"  

He nodded, his own smile growing wider. "At the café downstairs?"  

She nodded in agreement. "I'll see you then." She went to leave but turned back to him. "I'm glad you've found something that your heart desires," she said. "Whatever it is, I hope you continue to feel inspired to paint it."  

Before he could respond or show her his painting, she leaves the small art studio. 

©️ 2024 CRAZYFORMFICS. NO ONE HAS PERMISSION TO COPY, TRANSLATE AND/OR REPOST MY WORKS ON HERE OR ANY OTHER SITE.

TAGGED: @staytiny2000 - @dancelikebutterflywings - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie - @laylasbunbunny - @skz1-4-3 - @pinkies-things

©️ 2024 CRAZYFORMFICS. NO ONE HAS PERMISSION TO COPY, TRANSLATE AND/OR REPOST MY WORKS ON HERE OR ANY OTHER SITE.

[normal-enderman]

I left these tags on another dsmp post but I want to elaborate on it more

I think these NPCs could also be representatives of the audience. Just like how the dsmp audience all had differing opinions, access to different information from different sources, and took different sides, so too did the inhabitants of the dsmp world. There was even a trend back in the dsmp era where people were making dsmp-sonas (I made one).

To explain better how I think these NPCs fit into the dsmp's history, I need to expand on my headcanons regarding the world as a whole a little more

In my headcanon, the DreamSMP is a "new world" - people who are on the down and out hear of this mysterious figure called Dream, along with his friends, who is inviting people to join this new land he - discovered? Why is it considered his? Did he come from the land in the first place? Does he have a right to it, or was he just the first to make a claim to it? (Did he create it?) No-one is really sure, but the invite has been made, and slowly, people searching for adventure, for a new life and a new start, begin to trickle in to this new world.

Meanwhile, Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo aren't living with Phil - Will wanted to set out and be his own person, and being the irresponsible arse that he is, convinced his two younger brothers what a wonderful adventure it would be to sneak out and be their own people without Phil on their case. In truth, Will's relationship with Phil was strained to breaking point when Wilbur left - Will wanted to be a politician and change the world, and Phil didn't want to get involved. But Wilbur successfully hid from Tommy and Tubbo that this was why he wanted to leave - he wrapped it up in dreams and positive words, until Tommy and Tubbo were excited to come along. For the past year, they have been living in poverty - happy, but Wilbur isn't really responsible enough to properly raise and take care of his brothers.

When Wil hears about Dream's world, his dreams and ambitions are reignited, and he sets off to check it out - but while there he encounters Sally, a woman who he had a fling, with who has also travelled to the new world, and discovers he has a son. Being an irresponsible arse, he immediately becomes more interested by this new development than he is getting back to Tommy and Tubbo, trusting them to take care of themselves for a bit. After a month has passed and Wilbur hasn't returned, Tubbo and Tommy decide to set out by themselves to reunite with him in the new world.

So. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur, as well as a small but steadily increasing number of NPCs and other player characters, arrive in Dream's new world.

The key word here is new.

They have nothing.

This is why Wilbur gains the support of not just the other players, but also the NPCs: he sets up a rudimentary 'country' (read: infrastructure) that allows people to have some security and resources. People side with him because they want to be able to make their own decisions about how to live in and develop the new world, and Dream is being increasingly controlling.

This is what makes the NPC idea add a whole new layer of depth to the dsmp story for me. I love imagining how the normal citizens get resources and build infrastructure, and how they have to build a new, functioning society completely from scratch.

In Manberg and New L'Manberg, they had enough infrastructure to have newspaper publications, permanent housing, and shops. That was probably them most developed and unified the new world ever got. After New L'Manberg is destroyed, everything is completely broken down and refugees are forced to flee from the country with absolutely nothing. Their choices are to either start from scratch again or join one of the factions vying for power following the fall of New L'Manberg. They don't even have a stable food supply, many of them are starving or forced to steal or scrounge for food and equipment.

Anyway, no-one else remembers Tubbo's beetroot farm stream that he did with Foolish. I do. That stream was important to my little headcanon about the NPCs of the dsmp. The beetroot farm was a communal food source to help refugees, while simultaneously according Tubbo a lot of power in the form of NPCs who relied on him and who he was helping, and who would in turn support Snowchester.

[dc-and-arfrona]

Birthday Wishes

—-

Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Type: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 1.2k+

Masterlist

Summary: He forgot it was your birthday : ( 

— It was a bright and sunny day in Gotham City, and you were eagerly awaiting the arrival of your birthday. As the clock ticked closer to midnight, you couldn't help but feel a little excited. You had dropped hints here and there, subtly reminding Jason of the impending special day. After all, you had been together for quite some time now, and he knew how much your birthday meant to you.The night before your birthday, Jason had been out on a particularly intense mission. He had taken down a group of heavily armed criminals, preventing a potential catastrophe. Exhausted from the fight, he returned home just as the sun began to rise. However, the fatigue had taken its toll on him, causing him to fall into a deep sleep as soon as he hit the bed.As the day dawned, you woke up with a hopeful smile, eagerly anticipating the surprises Jason had planned for you.

 You tiptoed into the kitchen, expecting to see a table adorned with breakfast treats and presents, but to your dismay, it was empty. Confusion mixed with disappointment filled your heart.Hours passed, and with each passing minute, your disappointment turned into sadness. Doubts began to creep in, wondering if Jason had actually forgotten your birthday. 

Trying to push those negative thoughts away, you decided to confront him about it.You made your way to the training room, where you knew Jason would be found. The sound of clashing metal and grunts of effort filled the room as you stepped in. Jason's focus was entirely on the targets in front of him, his concentration unbreakable."Jason," you called out, your voice barely above a whisper. He didn't respond, his movements precise and lethal. "Jason!" you tried again, this time a little louder.Startled, Jason paused, turning to face you.

 Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead, and he looked at you with a mix of surprise and concern. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine worry.Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady your emotions. "Do you... Do you remember what today is?" you asked, your voice barely audible.

Jason's eyes widened, realization dawning on him. He had completely forgotten, and the realization hit him like a punch to the gut. "Oh no," he muttered, his voice filled with regret. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I can't believe I forgot."Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of hurt and disappointment. "I thought... I thought you cared," you whispered, your voice trembling.Jason approached you, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "No, Y/N, it's not like that. I do care, more than you could ever imagine," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I messed up, and I'm truly sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

You sniffled, your heart aching for his touch, despite the hurt. "How can you make it up to me?" you asked, your voice tinged with doubt.A determined look crossed Jason's face as he met your gaze. "Let's start by canceling everything I had planned for the day," he said. "We'll spend the whole day together, doing whatever you want. Just tell me, and I'll make it happen."

You couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope and a flicker of love reigniting within you. Despite his forgetfulness, Jason's genuine remorse and determination to make it right reminded you why you fell in love with him in the first place.With a small smile, you wiped away your tears and took his hand. 

"Okay, Jason. Let's start with a simple breakfast together," you suggested. "No missions, no distractions. Just you and me, celebrating my birthday."And with that, the two of you left the training room, ready to embark on a day of reconnection and love, hoping to create new memories that would overshadow the forgotten birthday, reminding you both of the strength of your bond.

The morning sun glistened upon the tranquil waters as Jason drove the two of you towards the beach. The tension from the previous day's disappointment began to dissipate with each passing mile. Sitting beside him, you couldn't help but feel a mix of anticipation and curiosity. What had Jason planned to make your day special?

As the car came to a stop, you stepped out onto the sandy shore, a gentle breeze tousling your hair. The salty aroma of the sea filled the air, evoking memories of carefree days spent beneath the warm sun. You turned to face Jason, a question forming on your lips, but before you could speak, he reached into a bag and pulled out a brightly colored beach towel.

"Close your eyes," he said with a mischievous grin. "I have a surprise for you."

Intrigued, you obliged and shut your eyes tightly, your heart pounding in anticipation. The sound of footsteps and the rustling of the bag filled the silence as Jason set up the towel behind you. You felt his warm hand on your shoulder, guiding you gently backward until your legs touched the soft fabric.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Jason whispered.

Slowly, you unveiled your eyes, and as the world came into focus, a beautiful scene unfolded before you. Colorful umbrellas dotted the shoreline, and a picnic basket overflowing with your favorite snacks beckoned from the towel. Jason had created a cozy oasis, just for the two of you.

A wide smile spread across your face, your heart swelling with joy. "Jason, this is amazing," you said, your voice filled with genuine appreciation.

He beamed, relief washing over him as he saw your delighted reaction. "I wanted to make today everything you deserve," he replied, his voice tender.

You settled down on the towel together, basking in the warmth of the sun and the comfort of each other's presence. The sound of crashing waves provided a soothing backdrop as you indulged in the delicious treats Jason had prepared.

As the day progressed, laughter filled the air as you engaged in friendly competitions building sandcastles, taking romantic walks along the water's edge, and enjoying refreshing dips in the ocean. Jason had gone above and beyond to create a day full of joy and adventure, and you couldn't have asked for anything more.

As the sun began its descent, casting vibrant hues across the sky, you found yourselves nestled together on the beach towel, watching the mesmerizing beauty unfold. The day had been a perfect blend of serenity, romance, and reconnection.

"I'm so sorry for forgetting your birthday, Y/N," Jason said, his voice tinged with regret. "But I hope today shows you how much you mean to me."

You turned to him, your eyes filled with love and forgiveness. "Jason, today has been incredible. It's not about the presents or the grand gestures; it's about the effort, the love, and the memories we create together," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "And today, you've given me all of that and more."

With a gentle touch, Jason brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes locked with yours. "I promise to cherish every moment we have together, to remember the little things that matter to you," he vowed.

And in that tender moment, as the sky painted a masterpiece above, you both understood that love was about more than just remembering birthdays—it was about the genuine effort, understanding, and growth that came from overcoming challenges together.

Wrapped in each other's arms, you watched the sun bid farewell to the day, knowing that your love had grown stronger, and that tomorrow held countless new memories waiting to be created.

[smvrkk]

Taking Breaks

Time, with its relentless march, shapes and molds us in ways we often don’t realize until we pause to reflect. As we navigate the passage of life, we find ourselves growing into new passions while stepping away from those that once defined us. Imagine running a marathon, and just when you think you’ve hit your stride, you discover you’re only at the halfway mark, with challenges still ahead.

This is akin to my journey as an artist. Over the years, I've witnessed my art and enthusiasm evolve, influenced by the fabric of my experiences and the passage of time.

There was a time when I felt invincible, standing at the pinnacle of my craft as a street photographer. I basked in the recognition, known locally and respected in wider circles. My passion burned brightly, guiding me to create moments that resonated deeply with others.

But then, in a surprising turn, I found myself at a crossroads. The very art I loved became a burden; I felt a profound disconnect. I yearned to discontinue the relentless cycle of capturing and sharing - to pause feeding the insatiable social media machine.

What once sparkled with potential began to feel like an obligation. I had invested countless hours and $10,000 into curating a kit that once inspired me, only to realize I was ready to close that chapter.

This decision wasn’t made lightly; it was a testament to change—a reflection of how we embrace or let go of our passions. As I navigate this new terrain, I’m learning that transformation is not an end but a new beginning, paving the way for fresh dreams yet to unfold.

At one point in my life, I found myself at the pinnacle of my craft—boasting an impressive 38,000 followers and earning income from a passion I genuinely loved. It all seemed perfect, but it begs the question: why would I choose to step back when I was so deeply immersed in the game?

I chased the excitement, striving to capture “bangers” and post impactful photos that would light up my feed. In the beginning, it felt exhilarating—the thrill of creativity surged through my veins. But as time passed, I started to feel an unsettling shift.

What once ignited my passion began to dim. I found myself repeatedly photographing the same locations and scenes that countless other photographers had already captured. The creative spark that had fueled my journey started to flicker, leaving behind a sense of monotony.

As artists, we thrive on fresh experiences, new perspectives, and the joy of discovery. But the relentless pursuit of novelty can sometimes lead to fatigue. I realized that in the chase for popularity, I had lost sight of what made photography fun in the first place.

This realization sparked a pivotal moment for me—a chance to reevaluate my passion and reignite my creativity beyond the confines of expectation. Each step in this journey has taught me that it’s okay to pause, reflect, and seek new adventures on our own terms.

Life happens, people pass and I am a dad now so going down and taking photos has to take back seat.

Learn how to be a day has become a new skill, and using my camera to tell new stories has become fun again.

[noxexistant]

Sad whumptober is gonna be over 😞

oh anon, me too </3

it's been very stressful at a lot of points, but has also absolutely reignited my love of writing and has been the most i've written in Years. my current word count is just under 45k, and that's with two prompts left!! i am super proud of myself

i'm so honoured that people have been reading along and enjoying what i've put out, it's made me remember how much i love writing and putting out fics, and helped me find my stride again after losing so much to my health - and i'm really excited to keep writing even after the event ends! maybe i'll even finally get out some longform fics of some of my aus that have featured in a few prompts <3

if there's any aus or fills or details that anyone is particularly interested in, pls absolutely feel free to ask me about them or come yap, i am so happy to talk about anything i create always. and thank you so much to everyone who has engaged with my whumptober fills, leaving me kind comments and messages and reblogs and likes. it's been a great experience, here's to the home stretch :')

[thxrnking]

What brought me here...

In my previous fandom before this I had a vast ongoing fanfic project (think 200,000+ words) that used to have me writing a little bit everyday but after some time, friends found other things they wanted to read and talk about. One friend accused me of trying to manipulate people and this caused me to overthink everything I said afterward as I didn't want to manipulate my friends, and eventually everyone stopped posting in the discord I made and stopped talking to me.

I tried to keep writing but over the course of a year, I got 5 responses, 2 were positive, the other 3 were people asking to be removed from the tag list because they were no longer part of the fandom or because their ex introduced them to my stories and their breakup had gone bad and they wanted nothing more to do with my works.

For nearly two years I limped along trying to keep it going, trying to diversify my writing, creating new projects just desperate to feel the joy it used to give me. Nothing was working.

When I found this fandom (Just Dance) I was scared; terrified to even interact with anyone. What if the same thing happened again? I lurked for a good few weeks, reading and watching people in the fandom before I finally realised I actually wanted to write for it. So I made a new blog, a new AO3 and I wrote. I watched others talk and interact and let's just say being a part of the fandom (even if I was mostly on the fringes of it) made me feel so good about not only myself but the things I'd lost the drive for.

Friends. Fandom. Writing. Everything that had been slowly dragging me into a deep depression was giving me life again.

The other day I was talking with My Moon and they reminded me of an old fic I had been writing that I hadn't thought about in years. One that I had quickly lost motivation for when the person I had been writing it for stopped talking to me. Instead of the dread the thought of it used to give me, I felt excited. I re-read what I had so far and even found my original half-plan for it. And while I remembered why I'd stopped writing it (why I'd stopped writing a lot of my favourite things) it didn't scare me anymore.

Yesterday I opened my old tumblr for the first time in over eight months. I changed the picture, updated the theme, trimmed out some old posts and honestly, I love it. I'm finally ready to continue with this old project (alongside my Just Dance fics of course).

Basically Just Dance fandom, I wanted to thank you.

When I found you, I was a husk. I was exhausted. I was bruised and scarred and you provided a loving, creative, beautiful space where I was able to find joy in something I'd grown to hate. You've shown me there are still good people out there beyond all the people I lost touch with. Seeing all the ideas and thoughts and creativities of such a still blossoming fandom has reignited me.

I hope every last one of you who reads this knows, whether we ever crossed paths or not, you are fantastic and should give yourselves more credit.

[krphub]

hi krphub! this is the main admin of iconic and I want to express my gratitude for everyone's interest. i apologize for the issues and the radio silence, so I'd like to explain a few things and give updates!

warning: this may be a long read.

iconic started and was created entirely with one admin. (note: thank you to the 3 others that volunteered later, it was thoroughly appreciated and they contributed a lot to ideas post opening!). it was essentially one person handling coding, writing, posting ads, and making edits to get the blog going and i thoroughly appreciated all the love and interest iconic received even before its official opening!

currently, we're considering creating a new blog, but we lost crucial elements from the iconic explanation blogs, in terms of layouts and the final versions of explanations of iconic's features. making the blog and getting everything done took a really long time so i was so excited to get things going but with the blog facing so many issues (shadow-bans and now deletion amongst other things) without even opening and having to redo everything again, it has slightly stifled my motivation and excitement (on top of having real-life priorities and commitments that got in the way) which is why updates and progress with the new blog has been very very slow. being an admin in general is quite difficult so for all that hard-work to be deleted in an instance, for no reason, is quite disheartening and made me hesitate about redoing it all.

truthfully, i was hoping to hear back from tumblr with good news but it's not looking good so starting from scratch in terms of setup seems likely. i do have the reservation list but if we proceed with the new blog, reservations would need to be redone, as we lack access to private passwords for verification. if possible, i'd love to gauge the interest in iconic's revival with all these things considered, and if there's enough, i will happily discuss the next steps with the rest of the admin team.

thank you for your continued interest and support; it warms my heart to know people are waiting for us with genuine interest. if there is enough interest, then i'd be more than happy to set up again but i just ask for patience and understanding as it means starting from the beginning, which also means it might take some time to get back into the swing of things.

thank you for reading this and i apologise once again for the delay in updates. i was very hesitant on how to move forward, and your continued interest is truly encouraging and helps reignite the stifled motivation so thank you to those anonymous asks once more!

hello! i completely understand your frustration and exhaustion. i believe that a lot of people are interested in this idea! because of this, i’ll post this for everyone to see! i wish you the best of luck!

[tofuandtattoos]

Your nsfw kataang fanart is so hot! 🥵🥵

Are you working on anything rn? Do you take requests lol 🙇🏻‍♀️

Omg anon 🥺😭 you’ve made my entire day. Thank you SO so much 💖 I haven’t put anything out into the world in months so the fact that anyone is still looking at my art sort of blows my mind and makes me SO excited all at the same time 🥹

I have one drawing that’s very loosely in the works but otherwise it’s been a bit slow over here. The past few months have been hard for me, my mental health has been an actual dumpster fire and it’s made me super unmotivated for anything in the ways of content creating.

BUT I’ve finally gotten back to a good headspace and am feeling like myself again and I’d be lying if I said this ask didn’t just reignite my smutty soul and make me want to sprint straight to my drawing tablet.

Requests, you say?? 👀 What did you have in mind? I’m obviously on board for anything Kataang-centric 😌 I’d love to make something for you!

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart 💖

[kaibutsunoo]

Silly rant under the cut.

I hate having RP ADHD, bro. Like ofc I have ADHD Irl and I'm Acousting as all hell but that's aside the general point. I made this blog to take a break from Doctor Who, only to find that this blog, while extremely fun, is also EXTREMELY LIMITING. I've only got a few things I can write, and I think that I realized that SUPER EASILY. Especially since, through this blog, I've become mutual with people I wasn't mutual with before, which reignited new plot ideas. So now, all of a sudden, despite being absent... the musing for my doctor who blog is BACK. Which means that it seems like all I wanted to do was new stuff.

I don't know if I want to go back to my Doctor Who blog. I will 100% remake it if I do, but I just don't know if I want to give it another shot. I've added a lot more incarnations/verses for interaction, and there are a few mutuals and muses on my dash that I would LOVE to throw The Doctor at, but the problem is that I'm simply just afraid that I'll put a ton of work into them all over again and yield the same result. It's very hard to be a roleplayer without any icons, mostly because people really like visuals. Not to be pointed or come off as hostile, but some people in the RPC are JUST here for the shipping and the smut, and honestly?? That kind of bugs me.

I've seen people who I've been mutuals with before, people who have drip fed me content over the span of months—give some of my other mutuals MORE ACTIVITY in a day than they've given me in months, simply because that mutual has a pretty face claim to thirst over. No disrespect to my mutuals either, I love my friends and I love everyone who I roleplay with— but the people who are only here for shipping kinda gross me out, because it creates this idea in the RPC that you're never going to be able to get those meaningful connections because you're not visual only. It creates anxiety in me, too.

What if I spend all that time and energy remaking a blog only to yield the same results? I hear you ask "Why not just make icons?" And my immediate response is that "I can't." Because the designs I have made for my character are so unique to my idea of them, having to pick out a face claim that's only slightly off would be just enough for me to feel a disassociation with my own character. It would be fake, and I would hate using them because they're not the face I designed, and commissioned. In that same vein, If I don't use icons— I feel alienated. I can't participate in meaningful dash commentary or any sort of "crack" threads, because without an icon— it just seems like "a serious response" to a lighthearted post.

It's also a mix of not being sure that I want to go through the trouble of trying to form connections with people who won't give me the effort in return. Roleplaying is a two-way street, and sometimes I like to pour a lot of energy into a connection or a thread that I enjoy. Sometimes, I meet mutuals who only give me the time of day once and then lead me on for weeks on end because they don't have the backbone to tell me they aren't interested anymore. This seems really hostile, but picture yourself in my shoes for a moment. You're plotting out a ship in dm's and the other partner gets really excited, so you make a discord server to start talking it out... and then that partner goes MIA, pretty much ghosting you— despite their glaringly obvious activity on Dash. You start to ask questions, and they give you half-hearted excuses and an endless stream of apologies with promises to do better, only to repeat the same behavior. That's kind of what I'm worried about, and I know the way I phrase it makes me sound kind of icky, but I'm a guy who can be satisfied with as little as one-liner crack banter and headcanon conversations. So when I'm given radio silence despite you exclaiming interest in my muses and plots, it creates this whiplash of emotions that make me feel inadequate and someone you keep on a back burner for content.

I think it's a matter of curating my circles easier, but it's also just general content anxiety. Do I want to revive my OC blog? Yes, extremely. Am I worried that the same issues that caused me to get frustrated and burnt out would repeat themselves? Yes, extremely.

This is all really just lighthearted. I'm not really nettled about the things I've dumped about on here. I just have lingering thoughts that I need to scream out into the void.

[alternativegirl23]

This makes me feel better. Big thank you to #theeleggymeggy because thanks to you, youve reignited my love for writing. Weve fangirled so much over fictional men that its made me excited to wanna create again. Reading so many good works by so many creators, I cant not be a part of it. I was writing this big story after not writing anything in years prior to it. I had wanted it to be "perfect" with how I saw it in my head. But like any writer knows: Your works never will be. Perfection doesnt exist. So, Ive given up on that story. That muse no longer spoke to me. But im excited for the future of what I can write.

If you're a creator and you needed to hear this today:

You have no idea how many people lurk on your work. No idea how many times people go back to revisit your work. How big they smile when they simply think about your work. How fast their heart beats, how excited they get when they see that you posted something.

People are shy with their feedback. Sometimes it’s because they’re simply shy. Other times it’s because they assume you already know how great and talented you are. Could be both.

My point is, even if you barely have any likes or reblogs, don’t get discouraged. You have a lot of silent fans, but they are still your fans. Keep on creating. Because there is always someone out there who will love what you have made.

[proveimalive]

Whoops! I'm ruining my own life

First time using this account in... 8 years? Maybe more, I don't know. So here's where we're at- I graduated university two years ago. Ended up working a job at a hotel that was a fucking nightmare. Ended up in the hospital due to substance abuse. Have since gotten a handle on said abuse. Am now in therapy, take ADHD meds. Have problems sleeping.

Got a job at the THeatre Royal. Been working there (and at the Dome) for 1.5 years now. Time flies. Made new friends, reignited my love for performance.

Got accepted to the London Film academy for an MA in screenwriting. Thought I could use that creative writing degree for something more substancial. It's £16,000. Can't afford it with what I'm earning.

Desperate to move out of my house. Can't spend anothert year stuck here, in this house, at this job, in the city. Need a fresh start. Need to earn more for that fresh start. Need to make a decision on what MA I'm going to do.

I miss studying, but I don't want to stay in Brighton. I want to be away and out, in London, in the centre of it all. Don't care if it's a shit hole. Just want somewhere to stay while I figure my life out.

Have a list of things I want to try, and limited time to try it. Thinking and thinking and thinking about what I want to do with my life is getting me nowhere. It's been revealed to me that I am not the sort of person who knows my own mind as well as I thought. I think I want something, and then I try it and the reality is completely different. I know that doing an MA is going to be much more work than I think. And what I learned from my degree- unless I really, really care about something, I have no hope in hell of achieving it. I need to want this or it won't work.

On a comedy kick at the moment, so want to try out some improv. Maybe some comedy writing. Think that could be fun and is something I like.

Want to try acting again. Doing an actual production. Think that could be fun.

I'm less anxious now, much healthier. I'm in a better place to do these things.

Screenwriting doesn't excite me that much. It sounds interesting, and cool, if it was a module I'd enjoy it. I think about uni and the things that stuck with me are these- writing a TV show with friends, and our comedy module. Both were more fun then I ever would have thought. I loved it, and it made me happy. Shame pandemic fucked us all over. Oh well.

Maybe look into comedy writing MAs, or just comedy writing courses.

I have enough to justify the expense. I'm tired of sitting here doing nothing day after day. I live and breathe and eat and do research, think, work, sleep. But I want to create. I want to throw myself into it and produce something. I think for years I thought I needed to fill a void. And I do. But external things don't work as well as creating something myself does.

Comedy, comedy, comedy. Wiritng. Acting. Producing. Directing. Productions. Running TV shows? I don't know.

Fuck. I wish I could make up my mind. I wish the answer could come to me in a huge rush and I'd go, "bingo. That. That's what I want to do with my life".

And of course, there's always the dream of living and working on a boat for a year. Which is becoming increasingly appealing.

All the "dreams" I have are just that- dreams. Because the reality is never what you think it'll be. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's just a waste of time. Sometimes it's dissapointing. Sometimes it IS what you thought it would be, but then are hit with the reality that it's not making you as happy as you hoped.

Fuck me. I feel like I'm running out of time. I'm only 23, but it feels like the clock is ticking somehow. Like if I don't make a choice in the next few months, that's it. I'm stuck for another year, walking in circles, running on the spot.

I want to pick a destination and just drive full speed towards it. But instead I'm just parked on the side of the road, watching all the other cars go by, jealous of some. Staring at this map in my hands that's just a fain quiggle of lines and feeling confused and empty.

What's stopping me from setting off. I'm afraid that if I don't pick the "right" destination, I'll end up driving aimlessly from place to place, hating every single one. Even if I do enjoy my time there, if it's not "right", then I'm wasting my time. I'm wasting my life.

You might think well, how can you be? As long as you're enjoying it, then it's not wasted. That's what life is, right? Doing what makes you happiest day by day, and everything else is just a bonus.

The problem is that on a day to day basis, I'm not that happy. Life doesn't make me that happy. It makes me stressed and tired and bored and empty, and I've tried to fill that emptiness as best I can. Running from the feeling of existential dread that won't leave me be. Trying to fill the void with whatever distraction I can. To take away from the fact that I feel I am tethred to the earth by a fraying piece of rope, and I just want to come back down to land. But there's a part of me that just wants to let go and float away. Can't do that.

I feel like an astronaut fighting to keep in contact with planet earth. Sending through garbled messages and squinting through my helmet, trying to focus on what's happening down below. Like if I can stare hard enough, watch for long enough, it's almost like I'm there.

I know that I'm here. I just don't always feel like I am. I feel panicked, like any second something bad will happen. Any second it will all collapse and the tenuous balance or peace I've found will vanish. It's all very existential and over dramatic but I'm nothing if not both of those things.

So where to start? Do what I do best, I guess. figure it out on the fly.

I think doing a trial run at Mark and Chris's house would be good too. Get some experience living alone again. I think that might be a good test to see how I'm doing. If it goes poorly, I can always bring it up in therapy.

It's a sickness, a panic that seeps up from my stomach. Like the whole world has forgotten about me. Out, of sight, out of mind. Like I stop existing if I'm not being perceived. Maybe that's why I like the idea of being in a group so much. They have no choice. They're bound to me. I exist.

I exist.

Because I feel I have no worth unless I have worth to others. Is that the void I'm trying to fill? I can't be happy unless I'm kaing other people happy? Fuck me. that's a lonely, tiring life.

But I feel empty and vacant. Trying to be human as best I can.

I know all is not lost. I know these thoughts are obsessions born from an insecure childhood and that there is so much more out there. I just know I need to move. I'm a deer caught in the headlights, watching, waiting, and if I don't move I'm going to get hit. I'm a frog in a pan of water, and I'm going to drown or be boiled alive. I need to move. There's no other option.

The only thing I can control is which direction I jump. So really, does it matter? If nothing matters and it could all fall apart, who gives a shit. Who really cares. I have to jump or I'll die, so just pick something and GO. If it doesn't work out at least I moved.

Deep dramatic sigh. Breathe.

I can do this. It won't be easy but I can do it. Whatever I choose, it will be equal parts right and wrong. Some more boring or disastrous than others but each a chapter for this very long dull book. I just want to make sure there are enough highlights for a good memoir at the end, and I won't get that from doing what I'm doing now.

Got a grip on the alcoholism. Sorted the anxiety out. Got new friends. Lost a tonne of weight. Blood pressure and heart health is good. Got back in reading and writing.

Now I just need to do a but of actual living and I'll be on a roll.

So I should end this one here. Because that's enough typing and thinking for one day. You can only do what you can do. I just want to make sure that in the end, i do right by me. Little me deserves that at least.

Time to go take a shower, watch taskmaster, reply to my 7 friends and go for a speed walk in the dark listening to a spooky podcast. Can't beat the high life.

28/01/2024

[kathyprior4200]

Appearance and Personality of God-Source/Universe Creator

An all-encompassing sphere of bright white light shone brilliantly throughout the cosmos. It emanated divine love and wisdom with such intensity that every spirit, star, soul, and being glowed and basked in its blissful beauty. The love and joy from this sphere was greater than the love a mother has for a baby, more enticing than the grandest sexual climax, and more wise than all the gurus on Earth. The sphere of light was so enormous that a million Earth suns could fit inside of it. In the area around the sphere were purple auras and violet cleansing flames that renewed, rejuvenated, and restored every energy entity that came across them. Around the outside of the light sphere were white and gold energy paths that spun and darted around in loops like electron paths around a nucleus. Shooting from the sphere and the bands of looping light were little newborn soul sparks that sped in all directions like excited bouncing orbs. Floating toward the other side of the sphere came giant Oversouls orbs…evolved spirits and souls who had fulfilled their missions in physical worlds and found themselves. Within the Oversouls were all the personas of incarnated lives: animals, humans, male and female from different time periods…all connected by the same soul essence. Bursting with joy, the Oversouls merged into the sphere, becoming one with it. Shining on the sphere’s surface were the blissful counterpart faces of every human and living soul that had ever existed. The sphere telepathically sent a loving message to all souls that vibrated within every cell of their being. The sphere spoke with the loving voices and sounds of every soul in existence.

“I AM THAT I AM! I have no name, yet am known by many: Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Adonai, Brahman, Jesus Christ, Atum, Great Spirit, Tao, God, Goddess, Source, Oneness, Collective Universal Consciousness, all are the same. I am without sex, without gender, without race and without judgment. I have always existed and will always exist. My energy is you…I am the life force within everything and everyone in existence. Through each of you, I can experience your joys, sorrows, adventures, lessons, thoughts, feelings, and growth. As you grow in love and learn through your struggles, I, the Universes, expand as well. Every being learns differently, but I know all have equal value. I love the humans, the animals, the plants, the rocks, the objects, the aliens, the spirits, the stars, even the evil ones all the same. Light Being Angels are my messengers; the Akashic Records is my living energy scribe, who shows the history of all beings and time periods. Mother Earth is one of many planetary sentient beings, chosen to provide a home for souls of all species to thrive and grow. The Ascended Masters, Deities, and Aliens are the divine spirit beings who have come before and are here to guide humanity and the descendant races, so all the galaxies and universes can evolve more smoothly. I instilled Karma and Life Reviews for every soul, so they could gain knowledge, learn of the consequences of their actions, and most of all, re-discover who they are. I created Reincarnation systems for souls so they could have an infinite number of chances to enjoy their physical lives, reignite their loving bonds and fulfill their divine lessons. I aim for souls to love and care for themselves and other living things. But even with murderers, rapists, and criminals, I do not judge them…for they have merely lost their ways while incarnated and have infinity to correct their courses. I made sure every soul would be successful in their own time. Once all souls have evolved to their liking, they will merge with Me together once more. They will rest and will come back again during what humans call the Big Bang. Like the seasons and cycles of life, the universes go through divine eternal cycles as well. You are always with Me, for we are eternally connected. It does not matter what you do, or how far away you go, you are my offspring, my friends, my students, and my equals. Yes, we all are one and the same…you are Me all along.”

[stevethehairington]

I watched stranger things s1 way back when it aired and thought it was pretty good but then couldn’t be bothered to keep watching when s2 came out and haven’t paid it any thought since and yet now after seeing gif after gif of Eddie fucking Munson and reading headcanons and ficlets about steddie on tumblr I’m suddenly in a position where I’ve read at least 300k worth of steddie ao3 fics and I can tell I’m not about to stop any time soon. I still haven’t watched any more of the show. What is this strange power Steve and Eddie hold

omggg i feel this in my BONES. only difference is i have watched all of it (some seasons multiple times hskgsd) BUT. i totally get what you mean. like there is just SOMETHING about eddie goddamn munson. like, they put fucking CRACK in that boy or something lol.

i was a VERY casual fan before s4, like i watched s1 when it first aired too and i really liked it! but it was definitely one of those this is really cool i really dig it but i'm not like obsessed kind of likes. and i got excited about the other seasons too and i binged them all when they came out, but again, super casual!! like once i watched that would be it. i wouldn't really think about it all that much after. i didn't seek out any fan spaces for it, didn't really discuss the plots or analyze it or anything outside of like very general predictions with family and friends who watched too, and i certainly didn't create or write for it at all.

but then season god damn 4. season goddamn 4 and eddie goddamn munson!!!! i fell in LOVE. i got SUCKED IN. i was pulled DEEP. the obsession set innnnn, that funky little dude sunk his claws in deep and dragged me headfirst into a full on stranger things fixation - dedicating my blog to it, reading a million fics, writing a million fics, joining discords, signing up for zines - and i am STILL hooked, 4? 5? months later?

there's just something SO good about eddie and something SO good about steddie!!! steve and eddie just FIT so goddamn WELL it's insane, truly, how complimentary they are to one another. i reblogged a post about it earlier, where it pointed out how steve and eddie so clearly want the same things, how they have plans for the future but those plans are not set in stone, they're flexible, and all that really matters is if they're together and are able to get and give the support they need to. also i feel like they're both SO easy to put into any sort of situation - ESPECIALLY eddie. because like as much as the show gives him plenty of interests and traits and all, he is still SUCH a malleable character, still SO easy to project onto and relate to and to shape into what you want him to be. and that makes for a WONDERFUL canvas to work from.

and honestly, i am SO glad that this did happen, because like i've met so many incredible people through this fandom already and i've had such a good time, and also steddie has sort of like reignited my love for writing too? like, i didn't not love writing before steddie, but i felt like i was sort of in a writing slump for a very long time. like i wrote for other fandoms and pairings but i would never make it past 10 fics (barely even made it past 5 for some!!) and it just wouldn't stick, and i just wasn't coming up with ideas or getting that spark of inspiration. but with steddie ohhh my god!!! it's been FANTASTIC!! i've been writing more the past couple of months than i have the last like 2 years. i've broken the under 10 fics curse with them haha and i have sooo many ideas still. and the response to the fics i have posted has been insane!!! like so good! and i am blown away!!

so yeah, basically i owe eddie munson my goddamn LIFE sjfdhksf

(also, i totally do recommend you watch the rest!! like the show has it's issues and some rocky narrative choices, like all shows do, but overall it is a very enjoyable show and there's a lot of good stuff that comes out of the other seasons too!! ESP season 3, my beloved. scoops steve?? YES. scoops troop team up?? YESS. robin buckley introduction!!! YESSS!!)

[moonchild1]

THIS IS THE REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE ON THIS APP, THIS IS THE REASON THAT SPARK FOR READING WAS JUST REIGNITED!!!! SARAH YOU ARE SUCH A BRILLIANT WRITER OMG I AM COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY AND IT'S CHAPTER 2 THIS WAS WORTH THE WAIT!!!!

after reading this i got so excited for the future of this fic and the direction it could go in but i am beyond excited for this series since the first day and until the last i will rant about this fic and idea!!! okay let me get into it... taehyung is an sweetie pie are you kidding me and the shift to venom amazing the internal battle of keeping oc safe ughhhhhhh loved it, let's just say taehyung is earning alot of brownie points right now while jungkook is losing them, after he stood her up and then got so mad at her that made taehyung look like a star, but i have hope jungkook will figure his feelings out and stop acting like a bug head, oh that fight scene was epic honestly played out like a movie scene with oc in the middle of it all absolutely loved it... not joon being hulk that was a nice addition to the team omg wait and OC talking to venom like a boss!!! that was so cool how she got him to let taehyung rest like i was amazed by that dynamic going on and now she had nicknames from all of them nice touch, seriously after this chapter it's obvious i'm team taehyung like how cute was that time they had together and OC just protecting him! i didn't expect jungkook to burst their little bubble but boy was it entertaining to read cause that whole scene was my ever end it just played out so cool with him finding taehyung and OC just freaking getting them all in grip ugh i love oc she's so bad ass but seriously my favourite scene is when they are about to go toe to toe and OC settles them and they team up GENIUS WRITING I TELL YOU!!!! this fic flows so well and the two characters storylines mesh well together and it's just a great plot with lots of twists and suspense and oohhhh drama i am obsessed with it.

and now i can't wait to see how this team up works and oooh thet lovely conversation oc promised they would have hehehehe this series is amazing it's chapter 2 already and i want to broadcast it to everyone that they should give it so much hype, thank you sooooooo much sarah for once again creating a masterpiece and for sharing it with us, taking the time to plan and craft this series i for one am very grateful you have posted and updated the series and i want you to know how much i appreciate you and your blog so thank you ☺️🖤

entangled - jjk&kth - part two

⟶title: entangled ⟶pairing: spidey!jungkook x fem reader, venom!taehyung x fem reader ⟶au: marvel au ⟶ rating: 18+ ⟶ genre: romance, smut, love triangle ⟶ wc: 9k ⟶ warnings: mentions of blood and injuries, more infidelity type things, reader is confused af, two smut scenes because we take what they wanna give us: unprotected sex (don’t do this tho), dirty talk, kissing, fingering, couple position switches, it’s all pretty lovey dovey ⟶ summary: Kim Taehyung is Venom. A huge, terrifying symbiote monster that’s bonded with him and made a deal for a common goal. You don’t know what you’re doing. Your feelings are mixed and frazzled and confused. But you may not have the time to sort them out just yet if you can’t keep the two people you care about most from killing each other first. ⟶ authors note: hello darklings. You’ve all waited way too long for me to get this second part together and for that I apologize. I hope this makes up for the wait. The third and final part that follows this will be a bit of a wait too while I work on another fic, but I promise it will come. Big endless shoutout to @sailoryooons for listening to me whine about this for months and for beta reading the mess that it became. Also shouts to @tea4sykes for reading before it was even done to reassure me it was flowing okay. I love you guys.

Part One (if you missed it)

playlist if you want it: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5cg79N5KQBmZ9fOCtyD3A7?si=cQlAtRT7Roat33E60rzKtQ&pi=u-lMIH9SpZSD6X

You needed to run.

Everything was happening too quickly, your head couldn’t catch up with your feet that were scrambling across the floor in every direction trying to escape the monster Taehyung had just turned into. He had you completely trapped with nowhere to go.

Not to mention you were mostly naked with only a thin sheet barely clinging around you.

“Stop! Leave me alone! Please!” You beg and scream as it cuts you off again when you make a dash for the stairs.

“No. Leaving.” Venom roars and tries to make a move towards you, but stops when you accidentally back into the record player Taehyung has sitting on his side table.

The record scratches and squeaks at a high pitch and Venom groans in pain at the sound, his clawed hands grabbing at his head as he stumbles backwards. His black, crawling skin pulls away until you catch glimpses of Taehyung beneath the monster. 

“Run. Please…run,” he begs before Venom consumes him again. But before he can get too far, you push over the record player so that it makes a constant high pitched noise and Venom screams until he falls back against the railing and goes over the edge.

You don’t wait to see anything else. 

Grabbing the ends of the sheet you dash towards the bathroom and shove the door closed behind you, looking around frantically for a way to escape. Immediately your eyes see the fire escape outside the window. 

You see some discarded clothes on the floor and immediately throw on the T-shirt and basketball shorts before using all your strength to shove open the old window that has obviously not been used in years. The old white paint cracks and splinters to the floor as you climb up onto the sill.

A loud bang suddenly sounds from outside the bathroom door. Venom must’ve stopped the record player. 

“Where are you, girl?” You hear his menacing voice travel through the door. 

Your pulse picks up again as you shove yourself the rest of the way out the window and into the pouring rain. The metal of the fire escape creaks and brings an instant chill to your already shaking body. 

Looking back, you see the bathroom door shatter with the force the monster uses to break it open. You can barely hear yourself scream as you throw your weight onto the top of the window and close it behind you. You don’t look back again as you sprint down the stairs of the fire escape, but the sound of Venom crashing through the glass makes you move faster. 

Bricks from the warehouse crunch beneath his claws and feet, causing pieces to crumble and rain down over your head. As soon as your bare feet hit the pavement, you make a mad dash past the docks and towards the main road.

The rain pelts against your face as the clouds continue to block the sun that should be starting to come up now. There is barely any light for you to see where you are going while the world is still wrapped in a navy blue hue.

You can see headlights up ahead. Cars. People. A way out.

“Not so fast.” Venom suddenly drops in front of you, making you stumble and fall to your back against the cobblestones. Your elbows scrape across the ground as you try to move away but he’s too big and too fast.

“Please…just let me go. I won’t tell anyone about you. I swear.” You press flat to the ground as Venom looms over you, his face slowly maneuvering downwards until your nose almost touches him.

“We…want to keep you. Protect you.” 

“You’re scaring me, Taehyung. How can you say you want to protect me?” The crawling, black skin of Venom’s face peels away to reveal Taehyung once more.

“You’re in the middle of something that you shouldn’t be,” Taehyung says desperately. 

“What does that even mean?” 

“_____, please stay away from Jungkook. He-” Taehyung is cut off when Venom closes the skin back over his face. “He’s here,” he growls, moving to stand over top of you.

Before you can question him again, the bright light of a laser blast shoots past you, barely skimming Venom’s shoulder and blowing chunks of the ground all over you.

When you look back up, the red and gold suit of Ironman comes flying into your view. He tries to fly between you and Venom, but the monster is too fast, back handing Ironman and sending him flying into the side of one of the buildings.

“No!” You yell, trying to get to your feet but you can’t get your footing with all the rubble surrounding you.

“Stay. Back,” Venom whips around to tell you. That distraction is enough for Ironman to come flying back, hitting Venom in the stomach with his shoulder and throwing the two of them about ten feet away.

You don’t want Jin to hurt Taehyung. Venom is the monster. Taehyung is good. He’s gentle and kind. 

Your head hurts so badly and there’s blood dripping down your newly busted lip. You don’t know what you can do but you have to do something. 

Getting to your feet as the rain continues to pour from the thundering clouds overhead, you clamber through the rubble trying to get closer to where Jin has Venom pinned against the side of a dumpster. Just as you approach, Venom hits Jin’s hand away causing the laser blast to go off and almost hit you. You felt the heat of it skim past your face.

“Get out of here, _____! Now!” Jin yells, losing his balance when Venom pushes him off into the side of another building. You fall back on your ass, hitting the wet street once again.

Venom crawls over to you slowly. The sight of it freezing you in place as the slithering skin of his face once again pulls back to reveal Taehyung.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He says, bending to get closer to you. You can see Jin getting back up out of the corner of your eye.

“Run, Tae. Please just run away and hide. And don’t ever come looking for me again. They’ll kill you.” You touch his cheek and his eyes close. “Please go.”

Just as you take your hand away you hear someone from above you yell your name, your head whipping up at the familiar sound.

Venom’s face consumes Taehyung again as he steps in front of you defensively. Jungkook comes into view, swinging down from a web attached to the nearest warehouse. 

Jungkook moves so quickly you can barely register what’s happening before he’s kicking Venom hard enough to make him roar and fly across the other side of the road.

“Get her out of here, Jungkook!” Jin yells as he comes back into the fight.

“We have him where we want him! I’m not leaving!” Jungkook yells back, shooting a web at one of the big pieces of rubble and flinging it towards Venom.

It shouldn’t hurt to hear him say that.

It shouldn’t sting like a slap across the face when he doesn’t choose you again. But god, does it fucking ever.

“Now!” Jin screams the word at Jungkook, barely holding off Venom, who is scraping and clawing with all his might to get back to you.

Such an anomaly this turned out to be.

Jungkook shoots off a few more webs, catching them on one of Venom’s wrists and sticking to the ground so it’s harder for him to move. And then Jungkook is whirling around and scooping you into his arms.

You wrap your arms around his neck instinctively, looking over his shoulder to watch the fight between Jin and Venom for as long as you can before they’re just dots in the distance as Jungkook swings you back into the city.

You almost start to doze off from exhaustion when you feel the world stop moving and Jungkook standing you on your feet. You almost lose your balance at the loss of him so suddenly.

“What the fuck were you doing out there, ____?” Jungkook asks, his voice loud and full of an anger you’d never heard from him before.

“I…I was just going for a walk…” the lie falls from your mouth before you even have a chance to think about it. “I got lost…”

“How do you always do this? How are you always in the middle of some terrible shit?” Jungkook rips his mask off and throws it across your bedroom against the opposite wall before he starts to pace.

“I’m sorry…” you feel so small as you watch the anger radiate off of him.

“Sorry? You’re sorry? Do you have any idea what you’ve likely cost us tonight?” He comes into your space, backing you into your kitchen counter.

“Jungkook…” 

“Just…stay out of my way, Data.” His shoulders slump when he steps back from you and grabs his mask from the floor. Your body shakes and gives into your exhaustion, your knees hitting the floor as Jungkook bounds off your balcony.

The only light in your apartment is from the barely there sun, casting shadows of your furniture and the plants on the windowsill across the hardwood floor. It’s quiet, too quiet when there’s a busy city 10 floors down.

How could one person make you feel so loved and so alone at the same time? Were you the bad guy? You slept with Taehyung out of spite…didn’t you? That’s how it started at least…now you’re not sure how you feel.

You don’t understand Taehyung, and part of you wants to know more. Why is he allowing Venom to control him and use him? What does he get out of it? All questions you would love to ask him if he wasn’t an absolutely terrifying monster.

A monster that Jungkook could possibly be killing right now. That thought makes you nauseous immediately.

You crawl across the floor until you can press your back against the wall, pulling your knees to your chest and putting your head between them. You needed to block it all out for a moment…or several.

You don’t know how long you have been sitting there or when you fall asleep but eventually you lift your head and squint at the sun trickling in through your windows and balcony doors. A perfectly cool breeze moves your green curtains and gives you goosebumps.

When your back starts to hurt from sitting on the wood floor, you convince yourself to get up to close the door. You know you desperately need a shower as well.

As you reach the balcony door, you see Jungkook sitting on your stone railing, his head in his hands. You want to rush towards him and make sure he’s okay, but you stay put.

“How long have you been out here?” You ask quietly, hand gripping the door handle too tightly.

“A while.” Jungkook mutters, his hands coming up to his hair and pulling at the roots.

“You…you should go home, Jungkook.” You hate the sound of your own voice right now. Weak and scratchy.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you earlier, Data.” He moves slowly, head coming up as he slides off the railing to stand.

“But you did. And I have a feeling you meant them.”

“No…I just don’t understand why we can’t catch this monster. And when I saw you there, I lost it.” He runs his hand through his mess of black waves.

“Did…did you catch him now?” You swallow thickly, not sure what answer you want to hear.

“No. Jin couldn’t hold him. He’s looking into asking Dr. Kim for help in building a trap.” He looks defeated and the guilt starts to crawl up your throat.

Dr. Kim Namjoon is a scientist that most people would know as the Hulk. He’s a brilliant mind and someone you very much look up to as far as the career path you hope to take one day. It scares you that he might get involved in capturing…or killing Taehyung.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can manage to whisper.

“Data…” He steps closer to you and you flinch a little. “Fuck…fuck I’m so sorry. You were scared and you’re…you’re fucking hurt and all I did was yell at you.” Jungkook stays where he is, but reaches out his hand towards you.

“I don’t…I can’t,” you whimper.

“It’s okay. Let me take care of you, baby. Please.” His hand stays out stretched and you know if you take it that the guilt will continue to eat away at you. That you can never tell him what you know. Because you care about Jungkook…but you care about Taehyung too, and you just hope he runs and doesn’t come back.

You take Jungkook’s hand and he gently steps towards you again until he’s close enough to cup your face in his hands, angling it in different ways to mentally take note of your injuries. He runs his thumb over the bump on your forehead and the cut on your lip that has you wincing. His lips press to your forehead when your arms finally wrap around his middle and fingers grip at his back.

“I’m just making trouble for you, JK.” Your lip trembles when you look up into his eyes, his brows scrunching in confusion.

“We knew when we started that this wasn’t going to be easy. But I…I have a responsibility, Data. And I’m doing my best to do that and keep you safe.” He swipes at your tears and lifts you onto the counter so he can stand between your thighs. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

You believe him. But at what cost? What will happen to him if he continues to worry about you instead of the danger he is so heroically protecting the city…maybe even the world from. He is your best friend and something so much more. 

Your hands slide into his hair, the damp strands sliding through your fingers in the most familiar way. Jungkook's hands stay on your cheeks as he pulls your mouth to his, swallowing the little whimpers that try to escape you.

His lips taste like his favorite minty chapstick and the cinnamon gum he had probably chewed on his way back to your apartment. He always chews it when he needs to think more clearly.

“You have every right to be angry with me,” you whisper between sweet pecks to your lips.

“Angry…maybe. But cruel? No. You mean more to me than that.” His mouth finds your jaw while his hands gently hold your shoulders. “How about a bath?”

Could you really be deserving of these moments with Jungkook when you were enjoying being face down on Taehyung’s bed just a day ago?

Fuck. You were so fucking selfish.

You nod your head ‘yes’, not trusting your voice when guilt is rising up your throat.

Jungkook picks you up from the counter, your arms around his neck and legs around his hips as he carries you towards your tiny apartment bathroom. Stopping once or twice to press your back against the wall and slip his tongue into your mouth. A tongue that you gladly suck between your teeth until he moans your name.

“Get these off.” Jungkook shoves into your bathroom, the space almost too small for you and his broad body. He makes quick but gentle work of your dirt and blood stained clothes, kicking them into the corner of the bathroom.

You help him slide the sleeves of his blue and red suit down his arms, slowly revealing all the beautiful ink tattooed into the skin of his right arm. Your hands follow the dips of muscle of his torso as more skin is revealed from beneath his suit.

After he’s naked and you’ve thoroughly touched as much of his bare body as you can, you slide your ass up onto your tiny marble vanity and open your legs for him to stand between. Jungkook stands back a moment, his eyes roaming and settling between your legs.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? You went through a lot tonight…” You don’t let him finish his sentence, wrapping your fingers around his semi-hard cock so you can stroke him.

“Let’s talk later. Right now I just need to feel you inside me. Remind me why I’m yours…please.” You could feel traitorous tears try to well in your eyes and Jungkook furrows his brows in confusion for a moment.

“Data…” He puts his hand over yours to stop your strokes.

“No. Please…I need you.” You meet his eyes and it only takes him a moment to tighten his hand on yours and help you move your fist up and down his cock again.

Jungkooks head rolls forward, a deep grumble in his chest sending shivers up your spine. He steps closer so his hips can widen your thighs and you can guide his cock to your entrance. You’re so wet that he easily pushes into you, your back arching off the vanity mirror at the stretch.

“You’ve always been my girl, Data.” His tattooed hand grips your hip and steadies you when he begins to shallow thrust, crude wet noises already coming from where your bodies meet. “Your pussy always remembers me so well.”

“Do the other Avengers know how filthy your mouth is?” You whisper, leaning forward to kiss him.

“My filthy mouth is only for you.” Jungkook kisses you back, sheathing himself completely inside you and holding himself there. He moves his swollen lips down your jaw and over your chest until he reaches your nipples, sucking and pulling until you’re a moaning mess.

“Please move, Jungkook.” You inch your ass forward until it’s perched right on the edge of the vanity. Jungkook groans against your breast, lifting his head to look where your bodies meet.

He holds both your hips in his hands as he begins a quick pace. But no matter how fast he pumps his hips against you, he never misses that spot inside you that makes stars dance across your eyelids.

“You feel so good. I don’t think I’m gonna last…” His distressed face meets yours and you reach up to touch his face and pull him closer.

“I’m so close, JK…please make me come.” He kisses you, hard and unyielding while his cock drills you against the mirror. You’re almost afraid it’ll break when he forgets how strong he is. But you don’t care, you want him to break you. You don’t deserve soft and sweet right now.

Jungkook lifts you off the vanity and faster than humanly possible has you on the floor of your hallway right outside your tiny bathroom. He throws your legs over his shoulders and hits a spot inside you that almost immediately has you crying out his name and coming all over his cock. Your pussy clenches around him so hard it makes him whimper above you, bringing him to his own orgasm. He fills you up as warmth spreads all over your body.

“Did I hurt you? I was too rough…” His hands are immediately on your face angling you to look at him.

“No, I’m okay. I promise.” You smile at him, hoping that it feels real. You’re too riddled with guilt.

“Let’s get in the bath.” He pulls out of you slowly, sitting up on his knees while he presses soft kisses to your fingers and palm.

The tub is far too small for the both of you, but it doesn’t matter. Water sloshes out onto the floor each time you move, but that doesn’t matter either. It feels good to have his warmth behind you when you lean back against his chest. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Jungkook asks after a while, his hands rubbing your arms while his lips kiss the top of your head.

You freeze, knowing that you should tell him the truth. That you know who the monster is that he’s searching for. But you can’t bring yourself to put Taehyung in danger. So you lie. Again.

“I went for drinks with friends last night…I got lost walking home. I don’t know how I ended up at the docks. It was so stupid of me…” You hate how easily the lie spilled out.

“You aren’t stupid, Data. You just seem to have a magnet for danger.” He laughs quietly, kissing your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like it was your fault.”

“It was my fault. I messed things up for you and Jin,” you sigh, slumping against his wet chest.

“Don’t worry about that. It won’t be much longer before we have the monster.” 

“Have him?” You ask, goosebumps prickling your skin.

“Mr. Kim thinks the monster is a human. An experiment gone wrong. He wants to help him…or study him. As long as it isn’t running free in the city anymore.” Jungkook explains, his hands gathering some soap bubbles from the water and washing your arms and chest with gentle fingers.

“How would he help him?” If Jin can help Taehyung…then maybe he can get rid of Venom.

“I’m not sure. I think we would be better off getting rid of it altogether. It’s a menace.” You feel Jungkook’s muscles tense as he talks and you know you still can't tell him the truth about Venom.

You don’t say anything else, afraid that your voice will shake and give you away. He knows you too well. 

Jungkook makes sure you’re cleaned up and comfortable in bed before he leaves you again. In most cases you would feel hurt that he’s left, but you need time to think without your feelings being clouded by his presence.

What the fuck are you going to do?

Going about your normal day to day life felt wrong. You go to school. You study with your friends. You see Jungkook on occasion, and every time you do, the guilt burrows a little deeper inside you, whittling away at your ability to keep up the facade. 

What makes it worse was that Taehyung hasn’t been at school for two weeks. It makes you absolutely terrified that something has happened to him. That undeniable connection you felt with him makes it difficult not to worry.

Sleep almost completely evades you the last two weeks.

“You look terrible,” Hoseok pokes, sitting a fresh coffee down in front of you on the library study table.

“Charming,” you grumble, snatching the coffee and inhaling its heavenly caffeine-illed scent.

“It’s not even finals season, why aren’t you sleeping? Trouble with the boyfriend perhaps?” Hobi sits his backpack down and plops into the chair next to you.

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” You press your forehead to the table and gently hit it against the top a few times. “And I just…my upstairs neighbor has been noisy.” The lies start to come out easier and easier the more you make up.

“I told you to move in with me months ago. Way closer to campus.” He pops some cheese cracker snacks into his mouth.

You know it would be nice to live with Hoseok. Easy. But you can’t. Not with Spider-Man coming and going and a giant monster possibly looking for you now. You could never forgive yourself if something happened to your friend.

“I appreciate that offer, you know I do. I just…like my space.” You sigh, lifting your head to meet his eyes. He probably knows you’re lying, but if he does, he doesn’t let on.

“Offer continues to stand if you change your mind, ___.” The look on his face is serious for a moment before he points the bag of snacks towards you. “Crackers?”

You smile and take a handful, popping them into your mouth as you sit back in your chair and listen to Hoseok talk more about nothing and everything for as long as you can.

After Hobi leaves, you continue to study until you notice the daylight is starting to disappear outside the library windows. You stretch your arms over your head, groaning when your stiff muscles protest before packing up your things to finally head home for the night.

Pulling your phone from your bag, you see there’s been no messages from Jungkook since yesterday afternoon when he said he would stop by as soon as he could. It shouldn’t be disappointing, you should be used to it, but that little pang still makes you feel some type of way.

You sigh, shoving your phone into your back pocket as you exit the library and see that it’s raining again. It seems like there has been constant rain over the last two weeks, making everything dreary. A mirror to how you felt inside as well.

Not having an umbrella, you power walk down the street towards the train station to get home. It’s only a couple of blocks but you still hate to do it at night. Especially when you get a sudden chill at the back of your neck, as if someone is following you. But every time you turn around, no one is there.

“Relax, ____. You’re exhausted and delirious,” you say to yourself, trying to calm your nerves as you continue walking.

Something big moves at the corner of your eye, dashing down the alleyway to your right and making you halt your quick steps. The only way to your apartment is past that alleyway, so you convince yourself once more that the exhaustion is getting to you and you press forward down the sidewalk.

You hold your breath and close your eyes as you sprint past the alleyway, stopping after a few feet to catch your breath.

You make it. You’re in the clear. The home stretch.

A cold hand wraps around your wrist and yanks you backwards into the alley. Your brain tries to catch up with what’s happening but when you try to scream, another hand covers your mouth just as your back is pressed against the cold, wet bricks of the wall behind you.

“Pigeon.” Taehyung’s deep voice sounds hoarse but also relieved. Your fight or flight instincts immediately melt away when your eyes settle on his injured face.

A cut on his eyebrow, a bruise beneath his left eye, blood dripping from his forehead from beneath his mess of black hair. What the hell happened to him?

You gently wrap your hand around his wrist and slowly move his hand away from your mouth.

“I won’t scream. I promise,” you assure him, his shoulders visibly unwinding.

“I know you’re scared of me. I’m sorry…I put you in danger because I was being selfish.” Taehyung takes a step back from you, giving you space.

“I’m not scared of you.” You reach out and softly touch his cheek just beneath his eye where the bruise has blossomed and he shivers at your touch.

“I’m just glad that you’re safe.” Taehyung moves your palm to his lips and presses a kiss to your skin.

“What happened to you, Taehyung? Where have you been?” 

“All I’ve wanted since this started was to expose The Life Foundation. They’re testing on people and killing them. Not a single person has survived until…”

“You,” you say quietly, watching his shoulders slump before he nods in agreement. “How did this happen?”

“I went to the lab to interview a couple of the scientists for an assignment…I got a little too curious I guess and followed a scientist down into a part of the lab no one knows exists. That’s where I saw the people they’re testing on…in cages. The symbiotes like Venom need a host but it wasn’t working and no one was surviving.” Taehyung runs his hand through his hair before he continues. “I accidentally released Venom when I tried to save one of the people in the cages and he bonded with me and somehow I survived. Still not sure how…”

“What’s stopping you from exposing them?” 

“I wanted to have hard proof before I took the information somewhere else but I haven’t been able to get back inside the lab, not even with Venom.” 

“Because of Jungkook.”

“He doesn’t understand what he’s getting himself into. They have suspicions but they’re keeping me from shutting the place down.” Taehyung sighs. “Your boyfriend is a pain in my ass.”

“What if…what if we talk to him? Jungkook will listen. I know he…” Taehyung cuts you off with a laugh.

“They think I’m a monster…and they aren’t wrong. But all Venom wants is to save the other symbiotes and get back to their planet.” Taehyung’s words almost sound disappointed when he talks about Venom leaving.

“But he’s…he’s hurting you. Can’t Venom heal you?”

“He does…he has. This last round of injuries was…extensive. I’m just healing more slowly.” He slumps against the opposite wall of the alley.

“You need to rest.”

“No. No, we’re going back to the lab tonight to try again.”

“Taehyung, please. He’s going to get you killed. Jungkook and Jin…they’re powerful.”

“You think I haven’t noticed?” He raises his voice slightly, but chokes on his words, folding over when a pain shoots through his side.

“That’s it. I want to talk to Venom.” You can’t stand to see him like this.

“Absolutely not. I’m not putting you in danger.”

“You’ll be there, right? You won’t let him hurt me.”

“I can’t always control him. He doesn’t always listen.” His eyes search yours for any sign of fear but he doesn’t find it.

“Let him out.” You cross your arms over your chest and wait for Taehyung to release his monster.

“Five minutes. That’s all I’m giving.” He takes several steps away from you until there’s plenty of space between the two of you. You nod that you’re ready.

The black crawling skin of Venom consumes Taehyung in almost an instant, his handsome face disappearing beneath terrifying white eyes and razor sharp teeth. Deep, bass filled growls flow from between those teeth and rumble the ground beneath your feet.

“Creature.” He says, smiling widely.

“Monster.” You retort.

“Sorry for…chasing you.” He keeps his distance, but paces back and forth through the alley. “I was…hungry.”

“You chase people and destroy buildings when you’re hungry?” You half laugh in disbelief.

“Very hungry!” He growls, pushing against a dumpster.

“Fine. Forget about it. I want you to let Taehyung rest, you’re going to get him killed.”

“Taehyung is fine.”

“No he isn’t! He’s all beat up, and I don’t even want to know what’s wrong internally. He needs time to heal.” You take a few steps closer.

“I can heal him, Creature.”

“He needs to rest. You need him and he won’t be of any use if he’s dead.” You stop as Venom groans and shoves his fists into the ground beside you.

“Demanding little bug.” He half spits.

“How long can you live without your host?” You don’t flinch at his outburst.

Venom doesn’t answer right away, he goes back to pacing the alley before he starts talking to himself…or to Taehyung.

“Bad idea…she pisses me off…should eat her…” Venom grabs his head in pain when the last line leaves his mouth. “Fine. No eating.” He comes back to stand in front of you, looming several feet taller. 

You look up and hold your stance. You’ll never let this pain in the ass monster know that he absolutely terrifies you.

“Three days. Three days before your atmosphere kills me.” Venom says, not seeming pleased.

“Then leave him alone for three days. Go away and let him rest. I mean it.” Venom lowers his face to yours so that you’re standing eye to eye. 

You can see your reflection in the shiny white of his eyes and your heart picks up its pace. Not because of the monster in front of you, but because somewhere behind those eyes is a man that means more to you than you thought he ever could. The strange feeling of just knowing someone is meant to be in your life becomes slightly overwhelming.

Without a second thought, one of your hands comes up and touches the side of Venom's face. His symbiote skin is cold, strange and unfamiliar. But it only takes a moment before Venom is melting away and once again revealing the stunned face of Taehyung.

“You got him to listen.” He breathes, taking your face in his hands.

“He’s not so tough.” You smile when he laughs and presses his forehead against yours.

“You’re exquisite.” His nose skims yours. “And I missed you.”

“I was so worried about you,” you admit softly against his mouth that has gravitated to yours.

He kisses you softly for a moment, neither of you noticing as Venom slithers out and makes his exit down the alley. You’re too relieved to have Taehyung safely pressed against you again. And when he starts to deepen your kiss, as much as you want it to continue, you press your palm to his chest and gently push him back.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I wasn’t joking about you getting rest. I got you three days with no Venom. Let’s get you home, okay?” You lace your fingers through his and start walking towards the street, but he stops you.

“I haven’t been able to go back to the warehouse. They’ve been watching it like hawks.” His shoulder slump when he rubs the back of his neck.

“Where have you been sleeping?” 

“Abandoned buildings mostly. Or just not at all.” He laughs half heartedly.

“Let’s go to my place.” You know it’s a bad idea. Jungkook could drop in at any moment and you aren’t sure how he would react to finding the man behind the monster he’s been so desperately trying to defeat. “You’ll be safe there.”

“Will I?” Taehyung asks, wary for the same reasons you are.

“Yes. Because I’ll protect you.” Taehyung smiles at your declaration.

“I have no doubts about that, Pigeon.”

You take as many back ways as you can think of until you reach your apartment building, releasing a long breath when you safely reach the elevator and unlock your door. 

It feels strange to have Taehyung here, but also very right. He looks like a weight has been lifted off of him as he takes in your green velvet couch and collection of coffee mugs with a boxy smile on his face.

“You’re adorable.” He says, picking up a tiny cactus from your bookshelf that could definitely use some water.

“It’s not much.” You shrug, feeling your cheeks heat.

“It’s perfect.” He comes back to stand in front of you, long fingers gently gripping your chin to make you look at him. “It’s you and I think that’s perfect.”

“Tae…” you sigh but give into the kiss he sweetly presses to your lips. 

“Thank you.” He whispers after a moment. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if anything had…” You cut him off with another kiss.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You take both of his hands in yours and start to lead him towards your bathroom. “You, however, need to take a shower.”

“Saying I stink, Pigeon?” He teases, following you to your tiny bathroom.

“Definitely,” you counter, smiling when he laughs. A real laugh that you aren’t sure you’ve heard yet. It makes your stomach twist and clench.

“Come in with me?” Taehyung asks quietly when you bend to turn on the hot water for him. His fingers find your spine and tease up the column slowly.

God you want to. But the sudden memory of Jungkook in this bathroom with you two weeks ago clouds your vision and your ability to have this too.

“I’m going to make you some tea, okay? Take your time.” You stand on your toes to kiss him quickly, ignoring the pang in your chest when he pouts his bottom lip.

You close the bathroom door and press your back against it. You listen as Taehyung opens the shower curtain and gets inside, the smell of your rose scented body wash wafting from under the door when he uses it. You must be insane.

Bringing him here is so risky, but you can’t leave him out there with nowhere else to go. He means too much. 

When the bathroom door opens twenty minutes later, you jump at the sound, almost dropping your cup of tea to the hardwood floor. It almost takes a tumble a second time when you look up and see Taehyung standing in your kitchen with just a towel around his waist.

“My clothes were in pretty bad shape…I don’t suppose you have something I can borrow?” He asks with a shy smile on his face and fingers in his wet curls.

“Um…y-yeah. Yes. I’ll find something.” A wave of heat rushes over your skin as you hastily move past him and into your bedroom at the end of the hallway. He follows you, leaning against the door frame to watch you.

“Are you worried he’ll come here?” Taehyung asks, the pretty smile on his face replaced by a frown.

“A bit.” You admit, kneeling inside your closet to look through some drawers for sleeping pants. “It’s really just a matter of when…”

“Is he what you want?” The question throws you off, making you pause.

“I don’t know.” It’s an honest answer, more complicated than it should be. Taehyung nods but doesn’t press for more information. You’re not sure you can come with anything else even if he wants you to.

You finally find a pair of green and navy blue plaid pajama pants, pulling them out of the drawer and bringing them to Taehyung. 

He drops the towel as soon as you’re in front of him, eyes holding you in place with nowhere to escape.

“Thanks, Pigeon.” He doesn’t look away from your eyes as he slips his long legs into the too short leg holes and settles them loosely on his narrow hips. Your breath shakes when he steps closer and closes the gap between you. 

“I made you tea,” you croak.

“I don’t want tea.” He practically moans against your neck when he nuzzles your jaw. “I want to show you why I’m what you want.”

Your entire being trembles at the words.

“You should rest, Taehyung.” You can’t stop your hands from finding the warm skin of his shoulders and chest.

“No rest for the wicked, Pigeon.” His mouth claims yours, swallowing down any other protest you may have tried to use.

He slowly leads you back until the back of your knees hit your bed and you both fall onto the mattress. He kisses you until you’re dizzy and desperate for air, your legs wrapping around his hips in a desperate attempt to bring him closer.

And then you remember that your stove is still turned on with tea likely boiling over all over the burners.

“Tae…” Yyou try to say before his lips close over yours again. “The tea…I need to go turn it off.”

“No.” He nips your lips and moves his kisses down your chin and over your jaw.

“I’ll be quick. Just wait here.” You playfully push him off of you, his head landing on your pillows with a smile on his face.

You look back over your shoulder when you reach the door, Taehyung winking as you round the corner into the hallway.

Luckily, the tea is where it should be, inside the kettle. You turn off the burner and move the kettle onto a potholder onto the counter top. Then quickly turn off the lights before stopping by the bathroom to make something of your mess of hair as quickly as possible.

Back in the bedroom, you barely make it inside the door before you hear the quiet snores coming from Taehyung. His arms above his head and his face buried in the pillows as he lays on his back against your mustard yellow sheets. His half dried curls a messy little halo around his head. 

He really is beautiful.

You make your way to the bed, pulling your comforter over his sleeping form and softly touching the bruises in his cheek. He doesn’t stir even a little. 

Over the next three days you, watch him.

You’ve never seen someone sleep so much in your life. It worries you at first, checking to see if he is breaking multiple times throughout the day. But he just continues to sleep, only moving to turn on his side or stomach and barely makes any noise at all.

You email your professors the first day and tell them that you won’t be in class but would follow along online. You move a chair into the corner of your bedroom so you can stay close to him. It keeps you busy while Taehyung sleeps.

You also keep busy with cleaning your apartment and thinking of ways to have a very hard and strange conversation with Jungkook. How did you tell your best friend…someone you love…that you may also have feelings for someone else? 

And how did you then tell your best friend that the other person you have feelings for is the monster he’s been trying to capture for months?

At night you curl up next to him in your bed, but always carefully so you don't disturb him. You want him to feel better as soon as possible.

It was mid morning on the third day, some very difficult calculus questions driving you crazy when you hear Taehyung groan and lift his head from the pillow. 

“Pigeon?” He croaks, his voice rough and dry.

“I’m here, it’s okay.” You toss your book aside, rushing over to the side table and handing him the glass of water you sat out every day in case he woke up needing it. “Drink this please.”

He doesn’t argue, taking the glass of water and downing all its contents in an instant. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hands, chest heaving.

“That may have been the best water I’ve had in my life.” You take the glass and sit down next to him on the bed. “How long was I out for?”

“Almost three days.” You move some black curls away from his forehead when he looks up at you.

“Really? I wasted the whole three days sleeping? Fuck.” He sighs in annoyance.

“It wasn’t a waste, Tae. You obviously needed it after what you’ve been through lately.” 

The way he looks at you makes your stomach flutter and twist. Like he’s never seen anyone like you or felt anything like your touch. It’s maddening.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He squeezes your hand and jumps out of bed far too quickly, heading into your bathroom where you hear him using the extra toothbrush you had sat out for him. You can’t stop the smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth.

When he returns to the bed, he sits behind you and wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling your back against his chest so he can nuzzle his face into your neck.

“Thank you for watching over me,” he mumbles into your neck.

“How do you know I watched over you?” You ask, leaning back into his chest.

“There’s a chair surrounded by snacks, coffee cups and calculus books set up in the corner, Pigeon.” Taehyung kisses your neck and makes you shudder. “You’re too good for me.”

“It’s not that.” Your voice is a whisper when he moves your sweater off of your shoulder to kiss the heated skin there.

“What is it?” His mouth continues leaving warm, wet paths along your neck and shoulder.

“I care…about you.” Your head lulls back against his shoulder when his hands slide up your front beneath your shirt to cup your breasts in his hands.

“I’m still going to show you why I’m what you want…what you need. I didn’t forget.” He nips your earlobe and pinches both nipples with his long fingers at the same time.

You spin around, grabbing his face roughly and slam your mouth onto his in the next second. Taehyung’s hands immediately find your hips helping you straddle his thighs to settle on his lap. 

Any clothing creating an unwanted barrier between the two of you are quickly discarded without a care for where they land. Your skin feels like there’s millions of tiny embers just below the surface waiting to crack through and set the whole room on fire. 

Taehyung holds one arm tightly around your waist while the other maneuvers the two of you back farther on the bed so he can rest his back against the headboard. Your mouths never leave the others, tongues and teeth clashing in the most desperate way. 

“Are you okay…with this?” Taehyung suddenly asks. His hair is a mess and his lips swollen and chapped.

“I don’t know how to answer that question anymore. I wish I just knew what to do…” You feel emotion start to take over and Taehyung grips your chin to look at him.

“It doesn’t matter. Not right now, okay? Right now I just want you to be mine. Because I’m yours…I belong to you.” He says it so simply. And it should be simple. It shouldn’t be possible to love them both.

He pulls you back to him, kissing you so gently it makes you shiver. One hand glides to the back of your head and settles in your hair while the other lifts your ass to hold you above his cock that was standing tall with need between your legs.

No more words need to be spoken as you position him at your entrance, your pussy slick and sticky from the build up to what’s about to happen. He takes his hand from your hip and brings it to your throbbing clit, using his thumb to stroke it slowly while you lower yourself onto him.

The stretch of him mixed with the way his thumb strokes you is as close to heaven as you can imagine. You can feel yourself getting wetter that more you try and accommodate his size.

“Be good for me, Pigeon. Ride my cock.” He moans the words around one of your nipples when he leans forward to capture one with his lips.

Once fully seated, you slowly move your hips in a circular motion, causing his engorged cock to hit places inside that make fireworks pop behind your eyelids and your head to fall back when your back arches.

“Fuck…you feel so good,” you finally manage to say.

“I could come right now just watching you take me like this, angel. Like you were made to have my cock inside you.” Taehyung groans as his hands find your hips and help you start to move up and down.

You find a mind numbing rhythm, and orgasm on the brink of breaking through. You’re so close it almost hurts. 

“I need to come, Tae…please.” You wrap your arms around his neck, sweaty chests sliding against the other.

“Me too. Fuck, I can’t wait to come inside you.” He holds you steady, digging his heels into the mattress and thrusting upwards to meet your movements.

A silent scream has your mouth hanging open and eyes rolling to the back of your head when you finally get your release. Taehyung’s lips and tongue scorching the skin of your neck when he feels you clench around him.

“Good girl, Pigeon. Come all over my cock.” He holds you down, fully sheathing inside you when he finds his release as well. 

You slump against his chest, breathing hard as you start to come down for the incredible high he had just given you. 

Taehyung kisses your shoulder and up your neck, over your jaw and chin until he reaches your lips. Kissing your raw lips in the softest way.

“You okay?” You ask, still out of breath.

“Never better.” He smiles, moving sweaty hair from your face.

“I’ll get you some more water. Maybe snacks?” You move from his lap, the sudden empty feeling making you groan.

“Venom will be here soon. If he isn’t already.” His smile fades.

“I know. So let’s get you fed and hydrated before he makes his presence known, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Don’t be too long.” He holds your hand to help you off the bed while he readjusts against the headboard. You playfully roll your eyes, grabbing your t-shirt off the floor and quickly throwing it on before you slip out of your bedroom to the kitchen.

You fill up two more glasses of water and begin rummaging through your cabinets for any sort of edible snack when you hear tapping on the glass doors leading to your balcony. You nearly drop everything when you turn and see Jungkook standing there in his Spider-Man suit, his mask in his hand.

“Fuck.” You grumble, sitting down the snacks and water before going to unlock the door with pure fear coursing through your veins.

“Since when do you lock this door?” Jungkook asks as soon as you turn the lock.

“Just to be safe.” Your voice shakes and your eyes continuously flash towards the hallway where you know your bedroom door is wide open. Another man in your bed.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in so long I just…” He pauses, a look you recognize crossing his face. He senses something.

Shit.

“Is everything okay?” You know the answer.

“He’s in here.” Jungkook immediately starts to push past you to look through your apartment.

“Who? What are you talking about Jungkook?” You try to grab his arm while he looks in your living room.

“The monster. I know that feeling anywhere. He’s here. What the fuck is he doing here?” You shove against his chest to stop him.

“There’s no monster here. I think you need to go.”

“What the fuck is going on, Data? Is someone else here?” His jaw ticks and your panic is starting to take over.

“I…um. Jungkook, please just listen.”

“Who? Who the fuck is it?” He pushes past you and you grab his arm to stop him before he freezes in place, looking at the doorway that leads to the hall.

Taehyung in all his shirtless glory stands leaning against the frame.

“Looking for me?” Taehyung smirks and you want to die.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jungkook practically seethes.

“Pretty sure you know the answer to that.” Taehyung takes a step towards you and Jungkook immediately blocks his path.

“You’re him? The monster from the lab?” Jungkook asks, moving into an even more protective stance.

“You don’t need to protect her from me.” Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest and walks over to the counter where you left the water and snacks, picking up a glass and taking a few drinks. “I’d never hurt her.”

“You mean the way your monster left her bruised and bleeding by the docks? Fuck you.” Jungkook takes your hand and pulls you towards the balcony door. “I don’t know what you’re doing with him, Data, but he’s fucking dangerous. Let’s go.”

“Jungkook, please. You don’t understand.”

“Don’t fight me on this. I’m getting you out of here.”

“Since when do you care about ___? She may as well be alone when she’s with you.” Taehyung moves to stand in front of the doors.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re lucky I don’t drag you to Mr. Kim this fucking second.”

“Is that so, spider boy?” Taehyung smiles and grabs Jungkook’s shoulder to stop him from dragging you any farther.

Jungkook lets go of your wrist and pushes Taehyung in the chest. But before he can make any other moves, Venom’s black crawling skin swallows Taehyung and replaces him with the huge looking monster.

Venom roars, shaking your entire apartment. He’s so big he takes almost half the room.

“Get the hell out of here, Data!” Jungkook yells, slipping his mask back over his face.

You want to rip your hair from your head. Scream at the top of your lungs. Stomp on the floor like a two year old throwing a tantrum. 

But you deserve this after what you’ve been doing.

“Stop.” You say, watching Jungkook shoot a web at Venom’s sharp clawed hand. “Stop it!” You practically scream, making the both of them pause to look at you.

“Go outside, Creature.” Venom growls.

“You’re both going to listen to me. Right fucking now.” You walk across the kitchen and stand between them. “You’re not about to destroy my apartment with your pointless fighting. So listen to what I have to say.”

Jungkook stays in his defensive position but nods towards you for you to continue.

“You’re going to listen too, monster. Understand?”

“Bossy little creature.” He groans, ripping Jungkook’s web off of his hand and giving you his attention.

“I realized the other day that you all want the same thing. You want to shut down that lab and stop the testing they’re doing on humans. Venom wants to save his friends and go home and Jungkook, I know you want to save everyone trapped inside there. So why don’t we all work together to make it happen?” You release a long breath after everything spills out. “And after we do that…then we can talk about…us.” You motion between the three of you.

“Data…I didn’t know that I…” Jungkook starts to say but you stop him by holding up a hand.

“We aren’t doing this now, okay? Right now, we need to go see Jin.” 

“Ironman.” Venom growls in distaste.

“He can help. I know he’ll know how to get you and the other symbiotes home.” you try to reason. 

Venom contemplates for a moment before answering. “Fine, Creature. But if he messes with me, I eat him.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Jungkook half laughs, taking off his mask as he approaches you. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. Now let’s go.” You walk out the balcony door and wait expectantly. “Well?” You tap your foot.

Jungkook and Venom stare at each other for a moment, silently telling the other that these conversations aren’t over but that they’re going to trust you on this.

Jungkook puts his mask back on once more and makes a beeline towards you, grabbing you around the waist and jumping off the balcony with you in his arms. Venom barks a laugh and quickly follows after.

And then you’re falling.

taglist: @hanversace @chaelvrx @moonchild1 @rkivewritersblog @ungodlyjoon @ricecakeslove @jeonsweetpea @screamertannie @tearyjjeon @kookrecs @bintificreads @minisugakoobies @sureconfused @boisenberry77@ts19009 @lorarri @looneybleus @joyouart @armyugh @kthsmoon @vminluvrs @ooooglymoooogly (i did my best with this, i may have missed people who asked)

series masterlist

[septiceyeliner]

↳Heat Waves by @heytherestilinski

“He [Dream] wants to slide backwards in time, to the moment he crouched under the bending moon on the darkened shore. Had he waded in slower, and brought George waist-deep in the purple water, perhaps they could have sank with grace instead of fury.”

Do Not Repost Anywhere

Full cover spread + extras under read more!

Thank you so so much to both @auburnrose & @technoblacle who graciously gave me quotes to include on the cover! Seriously the back would’ve looked so empty without them :’)

Yes, the QR code does work. I used one instead of a bar code because I didn’t want to accidentally make people believe heat waves was getting published or something.

Time for me to ramble! I’ve never made a book cover much less a full spread, but I hope it looks convincing enough? This took several several hours of work over the course of almost a week... God I spent way too much time on this..

I pulled out all the stops for this, jumping between procreate/illustator/indesign on my iPad and laptop. I used to hate illustrator, and now, it’s my best friend. Some of my friends sat in vc with me watching as I had several mental breakdowns because I couldn’t figure out how to make this work. There were several sketches all of which looked like absolute garbage to me. And when I started searching for photos I had no idea what I was looking for or what I was going to do. I think I went through the seven stages of grief and almost scrapped the whole thing when it was nearly finished just so I could start over.

Would I pick this up if I saw it at a book store? Maybe! Is it going in my portfolio? Yes, because I’m very proud of myself.

But enough about me crying “graphic design is my passion I swear!!!” I want to say some nice things about Dakota and heat waves :’)

I’m not good with words so I just want to at least say thank you Dakota! You honestly reignited my desire to create graphics again after not being able to for years. Your words painted such clear illustrations in my mind after being in a terrible art block. Some of which I’ve brought to life, others I hope to create in the future for more of your works. I wish I could’ve included more quotes! I wanted to include them as a positive reminder that people love your work and it is worthy of praise. I’m excited for Helium and maybe once that’s finished I’ll make an even better cover for it!

Edit: I made a whole post explaining my process here!! x

If anyone wants to see the sketches/timelapse videos/and me explaining my process and the cover more in-depth let me know! It’s not that deep but I can still share some stuff about it :’)