#and it surpassed my expectations a LOT it was crazy!!!

[littlestpetship]

wow im so bored *looks at scaramouche redesign and feels emotions like never before*

[dailytomlinson]

Yeah so we're at the last gig of the Faith In The Future Tour but it feels more like the last gig really [of] the last three years, I didn't really have a big break between the Walls Tour — the first tour — and the second tour of Faith In The Future. It's pretty sad, to be honest but like any, you know, moment in time is definitely a lot of room for reflection and like, I think it was the first tour gig, but it was the first time that I did like a full set, which I wanna say is about three years ago now, I was in Scala. I wanna say that was about to, about maybe 700 people forward to tonight and, you know, we're playing a sold out show in Mexico in an arena, and the shows in this run have been absolutely incredible. It's just another one of those moments for me to be really proud of what we've created. You know, a lot of my fans know I'm a massive, massive football fan. To have the luxury of being able to play in some of these football stadiums and also, you know, being able to play football in these stadiums after the gig, that is a luxury I'll never, ever get used to, it's an amazing feeling. Even when I was having a really good day before I started touring, never in a million years would I've ever included the word 'stadium' on my own solo tour. I thought that was one of those things that was incredible that happened in One Direction, that will never happen for me again unless, you know, we got back together or whatever. So to have gone through that journey and to feel that level of triumph, which feels... which surpasses my expectations by quite a long way, it's just one of those times where I just feel like in reflection, you know, once me and the fans are aligned and we really wanna do something, we fucking do it, man! And I like that, I like that a lot. So yeah, really proud to say that I've played some stadiums on my own, crazy even saying that. [fans section] I think my relationship with the fans has been relatively consistent but I think as time has gone on, that fans have realized just how vital they are to this whole thing. You know, before I started touring, it was only me on Twitter really telling everyone how important they are to this whole thing but the great thing about tour is: it gives the fans an opportunity to really feel their worth in the room, you know. And that's what's really been really special for me, it's not as if I've played more shows, I've got more experience and I've had to rely on them less, quite the opposite. As the shows got bigger, and the pressures got more, I've known I've got them with me so it's been really lovely, it's been a really lovely tour and one thing I'll never take for granted, no matter where I am. The consistency of the energy in the room is absolutely electric so yeah, all in all I think we've done a pretty good job. [FEQW stream section] It's funny that any big moment in my career always feels like, you know, the ultimate moment really and that was another one of those, the stream. Massive venue, sold a lot of tickets and obviously streaming as well and I put a lot of pressure on myself in those situations, because I know how hard I've worked to get here so I wanna get to these big moments in my career, I wanna be able to enjoy them but I also wanna provide a great night for the fans so that was one of those nights for me. It felt like  a real achievement and yeah, just a really literal example of how far this whole thing has come. [downtime touring section] Don't get loads of downtime, there's a lot of travelling, there's been a bit more on this tour. My relationship with the band and just, I mean like everyone on the road really, it's vital. As I've said before, my experience of touring is that of, you know, part of the unit, part of the band obviously, that was my experience coming up. So to be able to share these moments, not just the incredible live moments but also, you know, great moments of like fun and downtime, like when we were on the ATVs the other day, [...]. Those things are really vital to making this whole thing feel almost homely, you know, almost like home away from home. You need to have your people on your side and to be able to have a laugh a break from the madness. [AFHF 2024 section] It's the fourth years, can't quite believe that, of Away From Home Festival. As always, always a great day in the [...], something I'm really excited about and you get a different sense of achievement on those days,you know, it's really— it's not just my show that I've created, but something bigger than that and then yeah, something that I've always wanted to do so always in the run up, I'm excited. There's definitely some nerves going into it 'cause it's a bit like hosting a party, you know, you really want it to be great, I'm crossing my fingers that everything will go right on the day, yeah, I'm really, really excited, it should be another special day in the calendar. [LT3 section + festivals] At some point I'm gonna thank about the next record but I'm a bit scared, truthfully. Like right now feel like I've been enjoying the success of Faith In The Future for quite a while and yes, there's been the pressure of the shows but I delivered that, I think a good record and the record that was successful, so now I'm going into that next cycle it's a little bit tense to go into it, and I know it'll change once I get off the road and really start thinking about the essence, the record, the concept of the record and stuff like that but right now, yeah, I'm just thinking about the festivals, I'm excited for those.

Louis’ full monologue for the last leg of the Faith In The Future Tour in Latin America + FEQW livestream and AFH 2024

[bruciemilf]

A Ratatouille type AU where Bruce takes his tentative first steps into detectivism.

Gotham's so massively drowned out in crime that he's barely making a scratch surface level.

But you know who does know Gotham? Knows every nook and cranny among the narrows? Knows no fear? Stole Batman's tires when no one had the guts to?

Jason fricking Todd.

" Wait, -- no no, that's not when Penguin makes his deliveries anymore. That's when the pigs buy from him and take everything for free. You're gonna wanna bust him tomorrow, genius,"

"Jason," Bruce weights his trust carefully. " If I let you go... Are we in this together?"

Jason snorts, imaginary spit in his hand, shakes Bruce for it. And then runs. Leaving Bruce in a golden street light. Leaves him staring with his shoulders down.

"Oh, brother."

It's a pretty good deal; Jason gives him tips, he gets a comfy, puffy head, fresh food, and surprisingly?

Lots of hugs. Sunshine kisses on his nose and cheek and forehead.

" And how," Alfred rubs his temples around Bruce so much Jason thinks it's a reflex at this point, " Will you explain to the public why Batman carries around a sidekick with a curfew?"

" An unjust curfew."

" Jason will work at the Batcomputer."

" On my batchair, sipping on some bat-hot chocholate, from my bat mug. I mean, -- it's Gotham. We're not going anywhere."

Except. Lex Luthor, as most middle aged men who grew up with too much freedom and too little consequences, never learned what a rejection is.

"...The justice league?"

" Yeah, hot shot! I mean, you've been giving us some issues in the popularity department, my friend," He doesn't like the smirk on Lex's smile; As if he owns the whole world and wants to own him, too,

" The people are crazy for Superman punching a nazi, -- I don't like violence in my politics, but agree to disagree, -- Flash running for charity, Wonder Woman visiting some dying kid at the hospital. Everyone likes them. But nobody trusts them. They trust you."

" And it'd look very good for you to have a human on your team. After... That happened."

That includes the suspicious assassination of his political rival. Bruce begins to suspect its not suspicious at all.

" Bingo! See? I know a showbiz kid when I see one. Superman can show you the ropes. Guy's a better liar than me. That's saying something."

Jason's voice is protective and hissing like an angry viper in his ear, " I don't like this, Bruce. Don't take the deal."

But Bruce wanted to meet Superman outside of his city. Wanted to weight the risks. Wanted to see how big the man behind the symbol really is, and If humanity's lifespan is ended at one bad day.

So he accepts. And Superman Is nothing like he expected.

Passionate, angry, and uncomfortably handsome. That's who's got Bruce pinned to a wall, staring with barely surpassed annoyance,

" When I think he can't go lower, he surprises me."

" We're in this together, superm-"

" Oh no no no no. Your position as a citizen was secured the second someone shoved that silver spoon in your mouth. I didn't suffer years under that sentient ballsack so a tax dodging bastard like you can just walk in here, --"

" But I'm no--"

" I know who you are, Wayne. You're a troubled brat who gets what he wants. But I'm not daddy, or mommy, or your seriously scary butler. So if you wanna survive out here, you play by OUR rules. Got. It?"

"...Tell him to shove the biggest piece of kryptonite up his a--"

" We get it."

Superman's brow quirks, "We?"

" Me and my...Mental illness."

"...You're a weirdo, Wayne. I hope you know that much, at least."

[ssruis]

Rui is so funny because he’s like “yeah my childhood was so long ago and tbh I’m over all of that and it didnt impact me at all :)” And then all of his actions regarding wxs in the early days are colored by his childhood in that he kept expecting rejection. Him socializing now is the same thing. Curtain call? His actions are explained by his childhood. To this day he is still hiding parts of himself from wxs (“selfish” actions in ohe, arkland offer, etc). And Every Single Time he realizes that yes his childhood is still affecting him he’s like “odd. I thought I was over that. Anyways!”

I’m incompatible with people and they’ll reject me anyways so why bother trying to make friends -> ok well now I have friends but surely they’ll leave me too. -> ok they won’t leave me but they’re a special case everyone else is still gonna reject me -> ok my peers have come around on me but I’m still gonna find rejection somewhere. Surely it will happen again. (Believes this is a normal and healthy thought process)

1. Every time he takes one step towards healing or processing things he’s like “yeah I’ve completed the process and now I’m done being affected by my childhood” and then when he is again behaving in a way that shows he’s not actually over it he’s like “huh. I guess I wasn’t totally over it. But this time I’m for realsies over it (he is wrong).” Rinse and repeat.

“I have friends now so I’m over it -> my friends have affirmed they won’t leave me for being Too Much. So now I’m over it -> my peers have started to come around on me so now I’m completely over it -> my friends actually care about me as a person? Crazy. Well now I’m actually over it for real this time. -> there are others who want to be my friend? How novel. This time I’m for sure over it. -> etc etc”

2. Wonder Halloween showed him that his friends won’t reject him for his passion in shows but him being passionate and caring about having friends and staying with them is such a new thing for him (caring about something other than his goals? To this degree? To the point where it even surpasses his love for shows? he never saw this as a possibility) that like. Subconsciously (at least) he’s viewing that passion for his friends as Too Much. They didn’t leave him for shows yeah but surely they’ll reject him for the heinous crime of Loving His Friends Too Much (he is Fucking Stupid). Better reel it in because if they know how much he cares they’re gonna leave. “I’m being selfish because I care so much and clearly this is abnormal and wrong” said by the guy experiencing friendship emotions for the first time in his life (he does not understand these emotions. so something must be wrong with him)

Tsukasa/emu/nene: we love you and love performing together and the thought of separating one day is heart wrenching and we want to postpone that as long as possible

Rui: I am feeling the exact same way. but my feelings are wrong. & I will be getting a bad grade in friendship.

Hence the constant “ok we’re getting a little too vulnerable time to start up the jokes and japes again. I can’t let my friends who love me so so much know that I care about them a lot”

[louisupdates]

Transcript to Louis’ FITFWT24: Latam IG recap reel [25.6.2024]

Yeah, so we’re at the last gig of the Faith In The Future Tour, but it feels more like the last gig of the last three years. I didn’t really have a big break between the Walls Tour, the first tour, and the second tour, Faith In The Future. It’s pretty sad, to be honest, but like any moment in time, there’s definitely a lot of room for reflection. And like, I don’t know if it was the first tour gig, but it was the first time that I did a full set, which I wanna say is about three years ago now, I was in Scala. I wanna say that was to about 700 people. Forward to tonight, and you know we’re playing a sold out show in Mexico in an arena. The shows in this run have been absolutely incredible. It’s just another one of those moments for me to be really proud of what we’ve created.

A lot of my friends know that I’m a massive, massive football fan. To have the luxury of being able to play in some of these football stadiums, and also being able to play football in these stadiums after the gig— that is a luxury I’ll never, ever get used to. It’s an amazing feeling. But even when I was having a really good day, before I started touring, never in a million years would I ever have included the word “stadium” on my own solo tour. I thought that was one of those things that was incredible that happened in One Direction, that will never happen for me again unless, you know, we got back together or whatever. So to have gone through that journey and to feel that level of triumph, which feels— which surpasses my expectations by quite a long way, it’s just one of those times where I just feel like in reflection, once me and the fans are aligned, and we really wanna do something, we fucking do it, man! And I like that, I like that a lot.

So yeah, I’m really proud to say that I’ve played some stadiums on my own. Crazy even saying that.

I think my relationship with the fans has been relatively consistent. But I think as time has gone on, that fans have realized just how vital they are to this whole thing. You know, before I started touring, it was only me on Twitter, really, telling everyone how important they are to this whole thing. But the great thing about tour is, it gives the fans an opportunity to really feel their worth in the room. What’s really been special to me is, it’s not as if I’ve played more shows, I’ve got more experience, and I’ve had to rely on them less. Quite the opposite. As the shows got bigger, and the pressures got more, I’ve known that I’ve got them with me. So it’s been really lovely. It’s been a really lovely tour. And one thing I’ll never take for granted, no matter where I am, is [that] the consistency of the energy in the room is absolutely electric. So yeah, all in all, I think we’ve done a pretty good job.

It’s funny, like, any big moment in my career always feels like the Ultimate Moment, and that was another one of those, the Stream: massive venue, sold a lot of tickets, and obviously streaming it as well. I put a lot of pressure on myself in those situations because I know how hard I’ve worked to get here, so I want to get to these big moments in my career. I want to really be able to enjoy them, but I also want to provide a great night for the fans. So that was one of those nights for me. It felt like a real achievement, and yeah, just a really literal example of how far this whole thing’s come.

I don’t get loads of downtime— there’s a lot of traveling— there’s been a bit more on this tour. My relationship with the band, and just, I mean, like everyone on the road— it’s vital. As I’ve said before, my experience of touring is that of part of the unit, part of the band. Obviously that was my experience coming up. So to be able to share these moments, not just the incredible, live moments but also great moments of fun and downtime, like when we were on the ATVs the other day; that was a laugh. Those things are really vital to making this whole thing feel almost homely, you know— almost like home away from home. You need to have your people inside, and to be able to have a laugh, a break from the madness.

It’s the fourth year, can’t quite believe that, of Away From Home Festival. It’s always a great day, the kind of thing I’m really excited about. You get a different sense of achievement on those days. That really is not just my show that I’ve created, but something bigger than that, something that I’ve always wanted to do. Always on the run up, I’m excited. There’s definitely some nerves going into it, ‘cuz it’s a bit like hosting a party, you know, you really want it to be great. I’m crossing my fingers that everything will go right on the day. Yeah, I’m really, really excited! It should be another special day in the calendar.

At some point I’m gonna think about the next record, but I’m a bit scared of it, truthfully. Like, right now? I feel like I’ve been enjoying the success of Faith In The Future for quite a while. And yes, there’s been the pressure of the shows, but I delivered that; I delivered the record and the record was successful. So now going into that next cycle, it’s a little bit tense to go into it. I know it’ll change once I get off the road and really start thinking about the essence of the record, the concept of the record, and stuff like that. But right now, yeah, I’m just thinking about the festivals. I’m excited for those.

[angel-fics]

Guess who’s back, back again…still without a new chapter (it’ll come out soon, i promise)

For now tho, to feed the masses bc i didn’t really expect my works to get as much attention as they have

The Lost Boys Head Canon: Kissing

David:

*While David isn’t generally an affectionate partner, he has a very physical presence that can be very affective

*His kisses match his presence; they are very slow and seductive, he likes to entice his partner completely

*When he kisses you, it’s very precise, like there’s nothing else on his mind but every single little thing that he’s doing

*David will grab your chin and waist to make sure that you’re completely immersed in him and his kiss, he needs your complete focus to be on him, like his is on you

*He’ll usually only kiss you in private too, he feels like it makes the experience more special, since it’s all for you and you only.

Paul:

*I feel like Paul is a very openly affectionate person, and his kisses reflect that

*When Paul kisses you, it’s very sporadic, but sweet. Like, his mood will change mid-kiss and he’ll go from a simple peck to feral frenching in 0.02 seconds, or vice versa

*Honestly, it’s sort of like a game to him, with you trying to guess his next move or try to keep up with him, kissing him is just really fun

*Paul doesn’t really fully understand that different types of kisses, he knows there are multiple ways to kiss someone, but his main focus is that the act of kissing is enjoyable, he won’t get caught up in the different reasons you might wanna kiss someone

*he likes to twine his fingers with yours as you kiss, or he’ll stroke up and down your arms, he’d most definitely smile during the kiss too. Sometimes he’ll just walk up next to you and press a kiss to the side of your mouth and keep walking

Marko:

*A lot like Paul, he’s a lot more relaxed and open with affection, and thinks kissing should be light-hearted and enjoyable rather than anything else

*He will try to convince his brothers of this line of thinking -especially Dwayne- after kissing you

*To him, kissing you is like inventing religion, it’ll surpass the ages and affect the masses. He’s so cute and sweet about it. His kisses are definitely worshipful

*While not as romantic or thoughtful as his brothers might seem, his main priority when he kisses someone is that they enjoy it, so it’ll always be lowkey and simple so there’s room for conversation on how it feels without it being awkward

*He prefers the relaxed kisses for when you’re just within each other’s presence and are feeling affectionate, like a reminder that you love each other without saying anything

*Marko will definitely cradle your face or hold you in a hug when kissing you, full frontal, and he often laughs while kissing you too, just giggling in disbelief at how lucky he is

Dwayne:

*Every middle-aged-woman-who’s-obsessed with-trashy-airport-novel’s wet dream with the way this man kisses

*Its extremely sensual, almost obscene, and he will often deepen it bc he wants it to go further, and to be honest, it often does

*A lot like David, his affection is reserved for you, but in the way that he will get lost in you that he simply stops caring about the people who might see you

*You take his breath away and he has no other way to handle himself than to make you feel the same way. He’s a romantic, what can he say?

*He will pull you in by your clothing and hold you as tightly against his body as he can, he kisses you like he’ll never be able to again and it induces butterflies like crazy

[crescencestudio]

2023: A Year of Connection

Hi everyone!

As I told you last month, this month's "devlog" will be more like an end-of-year recap. For those of you who have known me a while, you'll know that I get ~in my feels~ and Very Nostalgic at the end of the year. And this year is no exception to that.

Looking back on this year, I realize I did much more than I thought I did. The year was filled with so many waves of uncertainty, burnout, and ruts, that I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything in the moment. Now that the year has actually wrapped up, I can see that was Once Again my imposter syndrome whispering words of sweet nothings into my ears.

In fact, this year, I find that I did Way More than what I did last year. Crazy, considering how busy I remember 2022 being. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Writing

If there is one thing this bitch did, it's fucking write LFMASODIJ. For all my complaining this year of routes taking too long, getting creative ruts, etc., I still wrote (what I consider) a Very Good amount. While I may not have hit my writing goals that I had set out, I still ended up writing around 255k words in total this year. Most of this being for Alaris, and some of it being for my dissertation (LOL) and other side games, like Intertwine and Jam Games.

This number also doesn't include deleted passages, edited passages, etc., so the amount I've spent writing, reviewing, etc. was Significant this year. Here's to hoping that momentum continues into next year and finishing the rest of Alaris!

Side Games

Something completely unexpected, but that I'll forever be grateful for, was my decision(s) to join game jams this year. It all started with Otojam, a visual novel jam I'd wanted to join for a WHILE.

Intertwine was, without a doubt, one of my most memorable moments from this year. The friends I made/grew closer to during that jam. The people I connected with because of Intertwine. The people I got to work with. Everything about the experience surpassed my expectations, and Van and Summer 2023 will always hold a very special place in my heart because of it. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed that game. It was my first full game I ever released, and I couldn't have been more nervous about it (no literally. I wasn't sleeping and I was nauseous for a week before release).

Knowing there was no "revision" afterwards that I could hide behind or promise that there would be a "better"/"enhanced" version made the release terrifying. But the reception you all gave to it and support from so many friends made me feel so connected and grateful for the community.

The other three side projects were... well, Unexpected. LOL. Before these jams, I'd never wanted to work in team settings, mostly because I have Mad Imposter Syndrome, and I've always imagined I'd be dead weight in any given game dev team. My skills on writing, art, and/or coding alone aren't "exemplary" enough for me to think I, well, deserve to be on a team. But when a couple of short jams were being held by a friend, and teams were being made filled with other friends, I thought maybe I could help, even if it's just to QA/playtest. But I've walked away from each of these experiences learning so much from other talented people and with very dear friends.

Each of these side games truly tested my chops in terms of writing, narrative design, and coding. But I'm glad I challenged myself to take part in each of these experiences because I've walked away with so much more than I would've expected.

Alaris

My Heart. My Soul. And at times, My Worst Enemy.

As much as I may have talked about how I Wasn't making progress on this baby. I, in fact, made A LOT of progress:

Art: 15 CGs, Updated Sprites, Kickstarter Artwork

Commissions: 20 BGs, Complete GUI, Personality/Affection Indicators, Editing, Voice Acted Lines, Complete OST (8 Tracks!)

Writing: Three Finished Routes

Shipped Kickstarter Merchandise

I'm going to be Real with you all. I'm not in the mood to recap everything for Alaris in the way I did with everything else LAFKMSDFOIJWOEI. Main reason being, I do that Every Month, and at this point, I would feel like I'm repeating myself for no reason. But let me tell you, when the Enhanced Demo comes out, you will see what I'm talking about with progress made. And I'm excited for the next year when I start getting to show things off (read: Demo Release and Route Beta Releases) now that assets have really come together ^^

I will say, thank you for sticking with this project for so long. It's easy to get bogged down in development when a project like this is as big as it is. It's just as easy to think that no one will care about this by the time I release, or people will start losing their patience with me as development goes on. So I'm forever grateful for how kind, supportive, and patient you all are, especially this year <3

Connections: The True Theme of 2023

If you've made it this far, I'm extremely impressed with you. And to reward you, I'll give you a moment of honesty and vulnerability which, to be frank, I Don't Do as a person and especially with my dev persona LMFAOO ((Before I do, let it be known, CW: mention of death, grief, alcoholism, chronic illness, suicidal thoughts))

Something I don't talk about much is that for all of 2022 and most of 2023, I was not in a good place mentally. At the beginning of 2022, I lost three very important people in my life back-to-back (I'm not exaggerating when I say back-to-back it was within 2 weeks, three separate deaths lol). That, on its own, was hard to deal with. But on top of that, I soon found myself having to cope/help with a family member's chronic illness and another family member's mental health (read: alcoholism, suicidality).

While this isn't a particularly unique situation, it was one that I found myself struggling with pretty severely on top of a pretty demanding work life. And it was a situation I found myself in until about midway through this year. Things have lightened up. I navigate a new life with some pretty severe triggers, and without the presence of some of my most loved ones. But overall, I at least feel like I can breathe and function, which is a state I didn't feel like I could exist in for over a year (and started to believe I may never exist in again).

Because of this new room in my life, I was able to connect with people again, in a more genuine way. I've grown closer to a lot of dev friends, to the point I consider some of them genuine close friends. And IRL, I've been able to reconnect with some of my dearest loved ones. The main reason I bring all of this up is because this year, I felt unbelievably connected to people, whether that was dev friends in the community, people who support my games, and IRL people.

And sometimes, when you interact with people solely online, it's easy to think they don't care as much about you as you do for them. But this has been disproven to me time and time again this year. And I've found myself in a state of appreciation for so many of the people I've been blessed to meet and befriend <3 I felt this especially so during some of the game jams, with the Secret Santa gift exchange, and with my recent Holiday Tree.

So thank you for everyone who has let me take up some space in their life. You literally Do Not Know how much it means to me and impacts me. This year, while I started it in a state of slightly hopelessness and numbness, I find myself ending it with gratitude and connection.

I hope the rest of this year (the very few couple of days we have left LOL) treats everyone well. I'm excited for how we get to start 2024 and what we'll get to experience together <3 Thank you again for the memories and support, love you all very dearly ^^

[princelylove]

i am slowly getting more and more annoyed with mr zeppeli himself i ate my fingers as i read your response to my ask AJAJHSUSH. thank you so much your highness i am burning my whole house rn.

actually, which yanderes do you think would be the most ANNOYING. like, not violent or anything but just plain annoying. the kind of people that make you wanna tear your hair out or commit a slow and painful murder.

(inspired heavily by narancia because i have a feeling he would be the most annoying little shit to deal with)

-🌸 anon

What an adorable thing you are. Don’t bite too hard, it’ll hinder your ability to compliment me. 

Oh, God. Most annoying to me, personally? Not in any order in particular, I feel as if this one would change depending on my mood:

Bruno hovers too much, and he tends to both infantilize and put a lot of responsibility on his darling. He expects his darling to parent Narancia but won’t let them handle a knife by themself. I’m doing a character study on him right now, so that’s all I’ll say, but just know that he is God’s punishment for whatever you did in a past life to deserve him.

Narancia is annoying- he’s a young guy who never got taught how to deep clean, spends his free time on his pull up bar, expects you to cook for him since he’s literally never been tasked with it, whines when you try to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of your six hours minimum long cuddling session, doesn’t know how to properly take care of an entire human being so just throws junk food at you and hopes you don’t starve, the list goes on. He loves you, he really does, he just doesn’t know what he’s doing. For someone as prissy as myself, I would die the first day. He doesn’t understand why I put those rollers in my hair- he just watched me straighten it, doesn’t that cancel out??? That’s stupid, oh, and another thing, what’s the point of owning five different versions of the same color of nail polish? It’s all red! Just have one, that isn’t crazy expensive! On top of Narancia being the worst roommate ever- he’s very irritable, and doesn’t really have a problem pulling a knife on you to get what he wants. He’s not as quick to snap as people think, but that doesn’t mean he won’t. Show signs of liking something more than him and he’ll maul it. 

It’s hard to set Cioccolata and Secco away from each other, they’re basically inseparable, but Cioccolata is capable of using logic, and Secco is not. If you’re on the ground in pain, obviously you’re going to have a hard time answering the little puppy’s questions. Secco doesn’t understand why you won’t play with him- he’s shoving his toy right in front of you, are you blind?? Play! With! Him! Throw it, play tug of war, SOMETHING, COME ON. There’s an interesting dynamic depending on who exactly you’re intended for- Cioccolata, Secco, or both. Let’s just talk about Secco alone, since Cioccolata isn’t annoying, he’s just a bit too affectionate sometimes. Secco’s forgetful, rude, jumps to conclusions, and you don’t even know what he looks like since he’s always wearing that bitch suit-esque thing. He nudges you to throw his toy- he probably thinks of you as human rather than another dog, and doesn’t understand why you aren’t behaving like Cioccolata does. If you were Cioccolata’s darling alone, or a shared darling, he’d probably think of you as another dog. But he was here first, so he’s got dibs on the good dog bed, AND cioccolata’s lap. As if you’d want that. Secco begs and begs and begs for you to give him as much attention as you possibly can- and somehow, you’re never doing it right. It’s like talking to a child who has surpassed the ‘Why?’ stage and has moved on to greater conquests- annoying you so badly that you ask Cioccolata if it’s fine to have a sip of his ‘not for dogs’ drink. Or two. Or three. Or the entire bottle. 

Rohan doesn’t ever shut the fuck up. He quite literally always has something to say, despite wanting to “observe.” He read an article this morning, let’s go visit the place it mentioned even though it’s a three hour train ride and supposed to rain for the rest of the week. He always wants to go explore- even when he promised that you could both stay home today and do something you want to do. It doesn’t make sense to Rohan- why wouldn’t you want to go see what the world has to offer? Probably because this is the fourth temple he’s wanted to visit this week and you don’t feel like going up two hundred stairs. (If his darling cannot walk, he makes sure it’s accessible beforehand. You’re not getting out of coming with him.) Rohan’s big on healthy living, and he feels a sense of superiority for eating right, and working out very consistently. He wants his darling to be perfectly well as well- how can he push you to your limits if you’re not at your best? You’d probably sleep better if he stopped talking for three hours past his initial ‘goodnight.’ 

Hazamada… is… he’s certainly a character! The literal only reason why he isn’t forcing himself upon his darling is because he’s too much of a coward- and that’s not my interpretation, that’s canon. His hobbies include bullying kittens and small animals, not showering, collecting manga, stalking idols, and tennis! Isn’t that nice, he does sports, he’s only a basement dweller half of the time. It isn’t even somewhat attractive when he tries to get it on with his darling, he’s like a dog humping your leg. He’s the type to call you a stupid bitch because you politely suggested he should wear deodorant before he hits on you. He’s canonically an exhibitionist- imagine sitting in class and looking over to check the clock and he’s just staring back at you while adjusting his pants. I’d switch schools. 

[livmondcole]

I've surpassed 200 followers and I didn't expect to reach that number at all. This huge rise in followers coincides with the worst months I've spent in this fandom. It doesn't matter what social network you're on, the same people are doubled up, determined to make shitty comments, fighting to fight constantly, judging you on what you like and what you don't like, and in short being really mean people. That doesn't suit me and it makes me feel really bad.

I'm nobody in this fandom, I don't create any kind of content, no stories, no gifs, no good theories, I don't contribute anything, I just reblog, give favs and try to interact with everyone which is very difficult. Many times I restrain myself and I don't interact with anyone I don't want to be a nuisance or even say/do something that may offend others and I run a lot of risk because the language that abounds in this fandom is not my first language and can lead to confusion when I want to express myself and that also generates a lot of insecurity.

So I'm so surprised by the amount of followers because I'm nobody here, I don't do anything to have that many followers but even so I feel very grateful for those who stay and I appear to them like crazy commenting on something that I like, I really thank all those people who follow me because I don't feel like I'm someone to follow.

This was going to be a thank you post but I have expressed myself a bit more about how I feel lately here, I just want to be here well, sharing and seeing the things I like without hurting anyone. To all of you who follow me thank you infinitely, I wish I could reciprocate in a nice way but I can only thank you from my heart.

L.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

i was just wondering do you think there really is a chance that harry might be less popular when he comes back (whenever that will be) and not be at his career peak anymore? i find it really hard to imagine him not playing stadiums/ being extremely popular etc anymore tbh for me it obvs won‘t make any difference i will always love him just the same (and wouldnt mind annyoing tiktok stans and fans who only like him bc hes „trendy“ to leave lol) i just wanted your thoughts on that :)

Okay, so I’m not a music industry buff. What I know, and what I’m about to say is based entirely on my general knowledge of pop culture (that’s heavily influenced by American pop culture, btw) so if I make any leaps, or if there’s an alternative view from a non-America-centric perspective, please forgive me.

But, for all intents and purposes, if you look at Harry’s profile as an artist and compare it to other artists of a similar profile (super popular boyband member + teen heartthrob turned solo pop star), historically you don’t really have many examples of successful solo careers, and even less of career longevity.

If you compare it to The Beatles, for example, they weren’t a traditional boyband (and arguably, neither was One Direction after TMH, but still), and if I’m not mistaken, though John Lennon and Paul McCartney both went solo, (and Paul obviously has the longevity down), their individual work still wasn’t comparable in popularity to their work while they were in The Beatles.

More modern examples, like George Michael, Robbie Williams, and Justin Timberlake, have a similar story in that while they were all able to launch solo careers, they all had a relatively short shelf life because pop music (and their fan bases) are very synonymous with youth, and they all eventually “aged out” of that marketing bracket.

So, really, the only example I can think of, of someone who was more popular solo than he ever was in a band and still managed to hold such a wide and devoted fanbase over multiple career eras, is Michael Jackson. And that’s like, music legend level.

I think Harry has already currently surprised people on many counts by being able to equal and arguably surpass his success and popularity in One Direction as a solo artist, especially without having to drastically rebrand or pivot his genre of music. He’s managed not only to hold on to what people thought was a very age-specific fanbase, but also broaden it massively. That’s beyond rare in pop music, and if you add that to the fact that a lot of people still attribute a big part of his success to his looks, the music industry is expecting him to age out soon, and therefore, for the steep decline in his popularity to start. That’s why people think it’s crazy that he’s taking a break because the industry is constantly pumping out new young artists and so, there’s always going to be a ticking clock.

Personally, I think Harry is a once in a generation performer, and has everything it takes to get to that legend level. But it’s something that is so rare and impossible to predict or orchestrate because so many factors have to go into making that happen, and the pressure of setting that as the ultimate goal of creating music could very, very easily break a person. I think he’s much more content to take a break, cultivate his connection to music, and just let those dice fall where they may.

[im--never--happy]

I really fundamentally cannot understand how and why the avatar fandom has been sleeping on Mako. Especially with all the Zuko love. People love an angsty sad boi who just wants to do the right thing. And by god if that is not Mako I don’t know what is. Like. Mako as a character is soooo fucking angstable. So much angst potential right there. But fandom just collectively ignores him (or else hates on him for no fucking reason). Is he perfect? Of course not, but Zuko is so insanely far from perfect and all of Zuko’s wrongdoings so far surpass any of Mako’s. Yet fandom easily forgives Zuko, resident sad boi, for his actual fucking crimes (kyoshi village didn’t burn itself down, Song’s ostrich horse didn’t steal itself, Sparky Sparky Boom—I mean Combustion Man didn’t hire himself—lmao) in favor of focusing on his trauma and angst (don’t get me wrong I am an absolute slut for angst and complex nuanced discussions of trauma in fictional characters, and Zuko is such an amazing vessel for my insatiable thirst for angst. But. SO!! IS!!! MAKO!!!!!). But Mako doesn’t get that treatment. He’s vilified for his significantly less bad mistakes. And it makes no actual fucking sense. Because he is so primed for angst and he has insane amounts of trauma. And he’s so sweet. He just loves the people in his circle so fucking much, he just wants to do right by them, he just wants to protect them and keep them safe, and also fucking save the goddamn world. Jfc. He’s sooo GOOD. And the crazy thing is that he’d actually be a better fit for a lot of the specific angst and character traits people want to project onto Zuko that actually aren’t in line with Zuko’s character. Like when people write how Zuko is so humble and doesn’t think he deserves anything and is so intrinsically kind and patient and gentle. And that’s just… not canon Zuko at all. Canon Zuko is impatient and loud and shouts and so insanely fucking proud. He was raised a prince thinking he deserved everything because he was royalty. And yes yes so much abuse and lack of self worth and trauma. Yes obviously. But Zuko expects (or at least expected) people to give him things or do things for him because he was royalty. At least at one point. He doesn’t know how to cook or take care of himself or other people, because he’s always had people doing that for him, at least to a certain degree (I’m not saying the ship banishment was luxury but he still absolutely had a crew that did a lot of shit, like cooking and day to day grunt work for him). Whereas Mako IS humble and soft spoken and quiet and gentle. He never raises his voice with bolin and never lashes out in anger. Bolin and Korra say hurtful unfair and unkind shit to him, and he just fucking takes it. He doesn’t shout or throw insults back. He just accepts their anger and criticims and still fights to help and protect them. He is self reliant and raised his younger brother alone since they were both homeless orphans. He can cook. He also doesn’t think he deserves better when people treat him like shit, because he’s always been treated like shit. (Hello self worth self-loathing angst potential galore!!) Mako is everything that a lot of fandom want Zuko to be and he has endless potential for sad boi trauma angsting. But he gets hated for no fucking reason while Zuko gets idolized. And it makes no fucking sense and drives me absolutely fucking nuts

[whumpiary]

Dipping into your Cassius masterlist and God he's such a good character! He feels so real and so dynamic in how he changes and all the different impulses he has and how different people perceive him!!!

I love how he can come across arrogantly, and his need to be held and touched, and how he drives a lot of people crazy, and how he predicts human behaviour so well yet struggles with his own introspection. I definitely need to read more!

Can I ask how Cassius came to the Bergen estate or is that part of the mystery? You mentioned he might have been in jail at some point I think

Oh I love this question and I love these comments on Cass! You’re soo on the money and I love very much that he feels so real to you.

Once upon a time it was part of the mystery! But I am so far beyond keeping mysteries with this story anymore. You could probably ask me anything and I’d answer it. I’d much prefer it was out in the world than trapped in my head forever

Cass came to the Bergen Estate via the bridge program that Christopher runs. On paper, The Brighter Horizons program takes in young men with “potential” who have “lost their way” and helps them get back on the right track. Think of the camp from Holes. It’s not juvie, but it’s… not any kind summer camp.

On paper, the program is there to bridge the gap between , often taking young men who are too old for the juvenile detention system, or are just about to age out of it because their sentence is longer than that. There are usually about a dozen living on his property at a given time, usually between the ages of 18 and 25.

Boys in the program live on the Estate for the duration of their contract, under the proviso they commit to their education (delivered by tutors employed by the Estate) and a five year internship at Christopher’s behest after they graduate the program.

As you’ve possibly already seen the program… a little bit more than what it appears on paper.

Cass was onboarded to the program a few months before he turned 18. At the time, he was about to age out of juvenile detention while serving time for a shoplifting charge, and assaulting a police officer. Christopher picked him up specifically, though, because he was flagged by Christopher’s people as being the brother of Henri, who was already in Christopher’s program. Christopher already liked Henri and decided to go and meet the little brother.

As soon as he met Cass, he knew he wanted him. He was utterly delighted to find him surpassing expectations within the first year.

[floatingcatacombs]

It’s the Tar Taking Over That Came Unexpected

12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 2

Back when it was a frustratingly rare Wii exclusive, I braved a storm to hunt down a used copy of Xenoblade Chronicles, and it still surpassed my every expectation. So finally sinking my teeth into Xenoblade Chronicles X earlier this year felt right.

This was a Wii U game and it’s still nuts that this was a Wii U game. The only change I made when emulating it was bumping up the internal rendering resolution, and it’s crazy how good it still looks. The highest-fidelity games I play are FromSoft so my frame of reference is busted, but even still, it’s frequently breathtaking. Monolith Soft has always had a reputation for building impressive open worlds on underpowered hardware, and their first foray into HD might be their greatest feat. Or maybe I’m just easily impressed by pretty skies. Emulated at 1080p 60FPS, the experience really clicks, with snappy menus, fast loading times, and the ability to alt-tab to the map on the gamepad. For once I didn't feel like I was missing out at all by not playing on original hardware.  

After starting a new game you're immediately dumped into a character creation screen, which means I already have to navigate an old stupid censorship debate. See, there was a whole internet shitstorm back in 2015 when this game released stateside because the English version removed the bust slider from the character creator. This was the era of GamerGate and “localization versus translation” and Fire Emblem Fates taking out a waifu-touching minigame and everything surrounding Tokyo Mirage Sessions – things got really heated for a second! In hindsight, it was weird mixture of niche game publishers misreading their target audiences and hypervigilant right-wing provocateurs gearing up for larger culture wars, using titty games as a nexus for radicalizing nerds.

Things have cooled down a lot since then, as Japanese games generally release unaltered these days, rendering it a non-issue. When controversies do happen, it’s not in Nintendo's court anymore, it’s usually Valve removing Japanese visual novels from their store page in an act of laughable double standards. Anyways, thanks to the wonders of PC emulation and memory editors, I was able to restore the boob slider to Xenoblade Chronicles X, and valiantly used it to make my character flat.

XCX’s design sensibilities are a pretty sharp contrast from the direction the series went afterwards, instead dealing in guns, gritty sci-fi, and a more realistic color palette. The storms and forlorn mecha on the box art tell you all you need to know. It’s all very western, with the designers definitely taking cues from Halo and Mass Effect in a lot of places. The hub city is also based on Los Angeles, further cementing the American influence in everything but the mechas.

Ultimately, I think this all worked out well. The original Wii release of Xenoblade Chronicles isn’t particularly “anime”, after all. Its aesthetic sensibilities are closer to Final Fantasy X than, say, any given Tales. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and 3, as well as the Switch remake of the first game, hew much closer to games like Genshin in terms of colors and character proportions, but Xenoblade X takes the original’s artstyle and places it in a more serious context. I’m glad the series didn’t commit to this direction (it would have gotten bland fast), but it’s cool that we got it exactly once. Despite the more western stylings though, this is still fundamentally a niche anime game, much more so than the first Xenoblade. There’s titty armor and fanservice outfits as quest rewards, a young moe girl in the main cast, and the occasional pervy sidequest. A lot of the localization conflict may have been Nintendo attempting to clean up Xenoblade X in order to pitch it as a mainstream release at a time when the Wii U really needed a hit. While it’s a solid game, it was never going to be able to appeal to a very large audience.

Also, the story’s a bit of a mess. The tone is all over the place, with both comic relief and serious moments frequently failing to land. What starts off as a surprisingly grimdark sci-fi about the last remaining humans trying to survive on an alien planet as their crashed generation ship-city runs out of power quickly morphs into Star Wars levels of goofy aliens. Plot twist after plot twist ensues, defusing a lot of the tension because you know that they’re just going to pull something even crazier out next. Though the main story struggles, the emergent narrative of New Los Angeles is actually pretty good. A lot of the player’s side questing is dedicated to resolving interpersonal conflicts and helping make the city feel like a real home for everyone. Gradually, NLA begins taking on alien immigrants and the mutual fish-out-of-water situation between human and alien refugees leads to some funny moments and the occasional surprisingly thoughtful quest about cultural tolerance.

But for the most part, the story takes a backseat to exploring planet Mira. Through the gameplay loop I’ve come to understand Xenoblade X as something of a single-player MMO. The combat system is based around positioning, auto-attacks, skills that go on cooldown, and extremely customizable character classes. There’s a nightmarish amount of skill trees to keep track off, to the point where I’d forget about them alone until I was having trouble with a fight, and then remember an entire system I’d forgotten to take advantage of. There are item collections to fill out and side quests of all flavors and secret areas and difficult raid bosses yada yada yada…

Okay I can’t hold off from discussing the music any longer. The combat theme for Xenoblade X is the stuff of legends. Terrible, terrible legends.

Putting vocals in your RPG’s regular battle music is a bold move. You really have to make sure you knocked it out of the park, because singing is going to grate on the player far more quickly than any instrumental. Because of this, the battle themes of Persona 5, The World Ends With You, and Get In The Car, Loser! are all something of a flex. Black Tar is not that. I’m just going to link the song, because it really has to heard to be understood.

Xenoblade X’s battle theme starts off strong, the grim sci-fi tone clearly communicated through the moody synths. Soon enough the guitars come crashing in, giving way to a distinctly nu metal sound. That stylistic choice alone pissed people off in 2015, to which I say grow up, it’s great. But if you let the battle run on for 50 seconds, someone starts rapping.

Black Tar has some of the most nonsensical lyrics ever put to pen, delivered in the jankiest way possible, with words just kind of crammed in without any regard to flow. It’s not even a case of “non-proficient English speaker comes up with shoddy lyrics” as occasionally happens with Japanese songs. Every single word of this is an act of malicious fluency, and if I singled out all the lines I had questions about, I’d be here all day. Opening the first verse with “We’re stuck on a whole different planet” tricks the listener into thinking that the lyrics will to tie into the game’s events and setting, but this is a fool’s errand. The titular tar has no in-game corollary, so to make any sense of it you have to go metaphorical and claim that maybe it stands for losing your squadmates and giving up hope. That's still pretty flimsy! Maybe it really is just be about heroin.

Eventually though, we reach the chorus, and it’s actually a great hook! Except for the fact that it’s sung by a Japanese singer in English. The lyrics were clearly written with no regard for which syllables he’d have difficulty with, and making this guy utter the phrase “Black tar’lll” was an open act of cruelty.

In a 2015 interview, Black Tar rapper and lyricist David Whittaker brings up that the he wrote the words for his first video game song in about two hours, going for “just foolishness”. I imagine his work here was a similar situation.

It’s so, so easy to harp on Black Tar. Everyone did at release, and everyone who hasn’t played the game still does. The thing is, it’s impossible to keep that antagonism up when you’ve got an 80-hour game ahead of you where this is the standard battle theme the whole way through. For the sake of your own sanity, you have to learn to love Black Tar, and pretty much everyone who finishes the game comes around to it. Much to the chagrin of my girlfriend, I quote Black Tar constantly, with less of a sense of irony each time. Eventually, you too will find yourself shouting along with David Whittaker as he raps about being on a sea of dark matter. And of course, the instrumental was always a banger if you weren’t a coward. The theme for New LA also gets a lot of flak for its gibberish vocal samples and St. Anger snares, but I’ve always been a fan and think it holds up great as an endless-looping hub area theme. It’s so…. Sawano zeitgeisty.

The entire soundtrack is actually a Hiroyuki Sawano joint, and he does a pretty good job. It very much all sounds like the kind of music he’s known for, with the exception of the overworld themes, which instead try to mimic the compositions of the first Xenoblade Chronicles. Primordia’s theme is an excellent response to the first game’s Gaur Plain, with a more techy and ominous tone that nevertheless still evokes the sense of grand exploration ahead.

The edgy atmosphere, the washed out palette, the Sawano tunes….Xenoblade Chronicles X is extremely of its time, in a way that comes across as deeply charming 8 years later. It’s kind of terrifying that something can already be an early 2010s period piece! The Sawano music alone will shoot you back to the days of Kill La Kill and Aldnoah Zero, when Gen Urobuchi was absolutely everywhere and the default crap anime genre was magic school instead of isekai. The mere idea of early 2010s nostalgia sets off alarms in my head, but it’s definitely real, and will only become more of a thing in the next few years. Brace yourselves for the flow of time.

Last, but certainly not least, the mechas! They’re one of the main reasons I tried the game out in the first place. Giant robots are often part of Xenoblade worldbuilding, but they don’t really factor into the gameplay. X is the exception. From the first preview trailers to the title screen to their first step into New LA, the player is made to want a Skell. They’re so cute! The Skells were designed by Takayuki Yanase, one of the people who worked on Gundam 00, and I can see the similarities in the combination of curves and blocky elements. There’s quite a few mecha otaku who work at the NLA hangar out of love for the Skells. Most of them are women, a detail that made me really happy!

Adding even more to the player’s desire is the fact that Xenoblade X withholds Skells for a very long time. You have to make it more than halfway through the story and substantially explore the first three continents on foot before receiving your piloting license. And it’s Xenoblade, so these places are massive. Even with an extremely generous jump, you’ll run into countless clifftops out of reach. They really make you work for it, but at least the core gameplay loop of exploring to setting up waypoints and mining devices is a lot of fun on its own (I was curious if the plot would ever get around to problematizing the resource-extraction gameplay loop, but no dice).

party members next to the Skell for scale purposes

When you finally get a Skell about forty hours into the game, everything changes. One of the major challenges facing mecha games is getting the scale right –it’s pretty easy for the giant robot to feel human-sized if all the player is ever doing is piloting. Xenoblade X avoids this by making your human pace painfully clear before giving you a ten-meter robot to traverse those same landscapes. It’s night and day how much more quickly you can navigate. Skells are also wildly stronger than characters on the ground, and being able to take on behemoth creatures as well as pulverize the human-scale enemies you’ve been fighting all this time keeps the scale relevant. It provides a real power fantasy and makes them feel believable in-setting. Being able to get in and out of your Skell at will goes a long way towards making it truly feel like yours, and this mechanic also acts as something of an on-the-fly difficulty modifier for the remainder of the game. A few chapters later you get a flight pack for your Skell, and the world opens up all over again.

not pictured: the j-pop earworm that plays every time you start flying

After spending so much time hanging out with the mecha pervert mechanic girlies in the NLA hangar, the back half of Xenoblade Chronicles X finally lets you be one of the mecha pervert girlies. Customization is on the lighter side, as you can’t mix and match body parts like in Armored Core, but there’s still plenty of color customization and weapons fine-tuning to do. I totally fell in love with my robots, and that alone makes it a victory of a mecha game.

A new song plays during Skell combat, and it’s…. more verses of Black Tar!! There truly is no escape. The backing has more of an EDM sound to it, and the lyrics are even more laughable than before. “Shoot them with your guns” still gets me every time. And yet, I would be lying if I said I’ve never headbanged to the part about being stuck on a different planet. You learn to love these things.

So that’s Xenoblade X. It’s a weird-ass game, a real triumph but also absolutely the wrong thing for Nintendo to have to put out in 2015. It’s easily the most impressive Wii U exclusive and I’m glad Monolith Soft took this detour. You’d be disappointed in it if you went in with purely the expectation of a mecha game, but as a Xenoblade fan who’s been gradually falling deeper into mecha, it was a great genre blend. Xenoblade X’s servers will shut down next year, and while I didn’t partake in any of that (the multiplayer elements seem fairly minor anyways), it will be the end of an era for sure. Just in time to start fondly reminiscing.

[dreamsandstars24]

Lawyered up - Chapter 1

Hiyooo, this is my first try at writing a fanfiction.

Well, writing it here, because in Wattpad I have 7.6k readers. Yes, this is me showing off because even though it's fanfiction, it takes a lot of work.

Sooooo, some inside into this:

It says chapter 1 because I will be posting more, obviously.

My first language is not English, so you'll have to be patient and kindly let me know if there is any mistake so I can fix it.

This is not a Hotch x Female MC. Even though I love daddy Hotch, I just never imagined him as the sexy daddy version, more like the dad-daddy version. Yeah.

I am busy like crazy with University and a job, so posts may be slow.

I really hope you enjoy this.

Anyway, enjoy.

I'm never drinking coffee again.

I'm banning coffee from my life, I will never drink it again and somebody should slap me if I ever drink coffee again. Please and thank you.

And even better, I will never drink coffee again before one of the most important final-stage interviews of my life. That should probably be something they ask at coffee shops, "Do you have any life altering things that will happen today?" and if you say yes, then you are not allowed to buy coffee.

Is not that I have something against coffee, God forbid, but I just get extremely hyper when I have coffee and based on what Professor Sukhan has said, I'm already hyper enough as it is.

So, why did I drink coffee today? Because I thought that staying up until two AM reading the longest, toe curling, smuttiest fanfiction ever was a good way to spend my time. Was it worth it? Yes it was, but that doesn't mean I don't regret it now that I'm shaking like a freaking chihuahua.

"Deep breaths, Liliana. And keep your hands under your legs." Professor Sukhan whispers softly, his eyes on his newspaper but I know he is anxious too. He is risking his professionalism creating this opportunity for me, and I really hope he doesn't regrets it.

It wasn't easy to make it, but I did it. I managed to get into the final stage of interviews in the FBI, and to be more specific, in the BAU.

I studied near death to graduate from law school, and I really really really want to get this job/internship. It took Professor Sukhan months to prove that allowing me to have an internship would be really beneficial for both the bureau and for me, sometimes I feel he sold my abilities for more of what they actually are but I know I will do my best to ensure I surpass expectations.

Hopefully.

"Liliana Madrigal." My eyes shoot up and find the blue eyed man that is staring at me. "We are ready for you." He is white.

Not that him being white is bad, is actually good, unless he is racist which would really hinder my process and my ability to maintain the facade of being a nice, obedient and sweet girl and--

"Liliana, please go and behave." Professor Sukhan mumbles bringing me out of my stupor. This is why he came, because he knew I was going to be so nervous this would be chaotic.

I clear my throat and stand up, nodding to the professor and making my way to the man who is now looking at his phone with a frown. When he realizes that I am standing right in front of him, he turns around and walks me through the doors where my future self may be walking.

I look around when the door closes behind me and barely have time to register the chaos this place is when the blue eye man mumbles "Keep up" and practically sprints down the hallway.

Swallowing down my fear, I run after him.

Freaking tall people think my little legs can keep up with them. I can barely reach the shower head and I'm expected to run after this tall guy and--

"Here. Go inside, sit down, and wait until they come."

I frown while my feet stop. "They who is-?" He ignores me, turns around and leaves.

Well, so much for being nice.

I stare at the black door and decide that they will not bring me to meet a serial killer in my last interview, I think. I hope.

Right?

"Okay Liliana, those who don't risk, don't win." I nod and take a deep breath, "You can do it. Please don't let it be a serial killer and please don't let me do anything stupid, amen." And I open the door.

A normal looking office says hello to me.

My eyes blink rapidly as a relieved laugh escapes my mouth. I don't know what I was expecting but an office that looks like the office of my psychology professor was not it. But this is good, this is nice, this is acceptable-

"Are you going inside or are you coming outside?" The deep voice behind me says and my soul goes to heaven to meet with its creator because I just died. Thank you and goodbye.

I turn around and find two men looking at me. The first man, I immediately recognized like Jason Gideon because he went to my criminology class and his lecture gave me nightmares, but the second man who is staring at me undisturbed has never been seen by my eyes. He is handsome, he is grace, he is mister United States-

"Pardon me?" I mumble because I just saw his lips move but I didn't hear a thing. He blinks.

"I asked if you are the girl I am supposed to be interviewing." He repeats calmly. His voice could narrate an audio book where he tells me how he is going to kill me in the most gruesome way and I would hundred percent say thank you.

"I certainly hope so because I was just dumped here with barely any instruction." Gideon smiles a little at that and a part of my soul rejoices because I just made Jason Gideon smile.

"What's your name?" He asks, and his voice is a soft baritone that has me feeling cozy inside.

"Liliana Madrigal, a pleasure." My hand stretches out; once again, I'm too late to realize my actions because I forgot my hands were shaking which is obvious now. Both men stare at my hand and then Gideon shakes it and lets go.

"I'm Jason Gideon and this is SSA Aaron Hotchner, we are on the behavioral analysis unit and we will be directing your interview." I nod and nod again and both stare at me. Agent Gideon gives me another soft smile. "We should go in the office."

"Oh! Of course, come in. Make yourself at home." I step to the side allowing them both to come in and then I notice the name at the door.

Aaron Hotchner. I just gave him permission to go into his own office. Amazing.

"Miss Madrigal, will you come in and close the door behind you please?" Agent Hotchner asks. I follow the orders and then walk to the chair in front of his desk. He is sitting on the chair while Gideon leans on the wall beside the window.

My hands fidget on my lap and then I remember how I'm supposed to keep them under my legs and take a deep breath. I do that and count to ten while the men look at what I'm assuming is my file.

"Miss Madrigal, your file says that you graduated at fourteen from high school." Agent Hotchner mumbles, scanning the page with his eyes.

"Yes, sir." He looks at me and the way his eyes are so dark make me very nervous.

"Is there any reason as to why that happened? Because your IQ is slightly elevated but not that much." I nod and then consider what to say.

They may notice the confusion on my face because Gideon speaks. "Just tell us the truth without sugar coating it."

Well, if he says so.

"I was bored, sir." They both stare at me.

"Bored?" Agent Hotchner repeats, I nod again. "Could you elaborate?"

I take a deep breath. "I didn't want to spend more time in school than necessary so I forced myself to graduate faster to study what I really wanted to study."

"Which was criminal law," Gideon says, my head shakes.

"No sir, I wanted to become a taxidermist." Both men stare at me and I can tell I managed to surprise them.

"Why didn't you then?" Agent Hotchner asks.

I shrug, "My mother said that if I became a taxidermist, I would sleep with the carcasses and see how that suited me." With secret joy, I notice how the corner of agent Hotchner's mouth twitches upwards.

I MADE HIM SMILE!

"So you didn't become a taxidermist, and decided to study law, correct?"

"With some little disruption to my plans, but yes sir." Agent Hotchner moves his hand in a rolling motion and I understand he is asking me to expand. "After the fiasco with taxidermy, I decided to explore my passions in the business world."

"You studied business, then?" Gideon mumbles, reading through my file.

"No, sir. I became a runner for a local gang in my neighbourhood." I think I actually managed to surprise them this time.

Both look at my file, their silence making me more nervous. Did I just messed up? Did a hot nice cup of coffee messed up the opportunity of a lifetime? Did I just ended my career choice?

"Why not a courthouse? You could have made a fine prosecutor with your grades and the success of your practicum." Gideon points out, I shake my head no.

"I thought about it and did two weeks as an assistant for a prosecutor and I am positive about not choosing prosecution."

"What about defense? You could have been good at that."

"I'm not fond of lying."

"So why the FBI? In this job, you need to keep a lot of secrets and maintain a low profile." I press my lips together considering what I have to say.

Two choices in here: Either lick their boots or be honest.

"As I was looking for career choices, I realized that the BAU gets sued continuously over every procedure that they endure-"

"How did you got that information?" Agent Hotchner asks, serious.

"One of my teachers worked as a legal advisor and one of the people that came to her was a lawyer who was helping someone sue the BAU for incorrect management of a case. Anyway, I kept my ears open and realized that this team is the one that gets sued the most and that caught my attention so I started researching why and I reached a conclusion," My hands intertwine as I smile at them. "And the conclusion was that in order for this team to be getting sued so often, then it may be doing something right."

Agent Hotchner closes my file and leans back in his chair, the look of calm suits him and then he turns to Gideon and a whole conversation takes place without them even talking. This is crazy.

While they have their strange staring contest, I think about the possibility of accepting the CIA offer. It came as a surprise, to be honest, but the terms are good; professor Sukhan would be a little dissapointed because the original plan has alway been the FBI but I don't think he'll mind that much.

I mean, is either CIA or going back to being a Runner and I think which option is better for my criminal record.

"You start on Monday." Agent Hotchner speaks and I nod.

"What time?"

"I need you here at five AM. We'll go over some information and I'll show you your office, if we have the time, I'll introduce you to the team." I nod and get up when he does. His hand stretches towards me and I shake it firmly. "Welcome to the team." I smile at him and then turn to Gideon, we shake hands and I take a deep breath because my hand is shaking more now.

"Welcome, Agent Madrigal." He murmurs warmly, I nod at him.

"Thank you, I will do my best." I walk to the door with them behind me and I know they are walking me to where professor Sukhan is. When we reach the door, I turn to them and smile. "Thank you, again." They both nod and I cross the doors, noticing how professor Sukhan stands up and stares at me.

We both stare at each other and he smiles when tears pool in my eyes.

"You did it." He mumbles coming closer.

"I start on Monday at five AM." He laughs, wrapping me in his arms which makes me sob.

"Are you crying?" He laughs, rocking me back and forth.

"I just don't want to wake up at five AM every morning." I sob in his shoulder. He laughs and pulls me closer.

"You did it," He whispers, patting my head. "I knew you would."

***

Hotch felt himself smile when he realized how the girl he had just hired was crying while holding the Hindi man. He wasn't sure what the relationship was, but he knew that the man had sold the girl at such a high price it tempted the bureau to meet her in person. And he wasn't disappointed.

Even though her psych results tilted her towards OCD regarding her job, and her getting obsessed in some cases, her results were so good he had to double-check every case she had participated in because she was practically a genius when giving criminal charges.

Eighteen charges, she had given eighteen charges to a child abuser and Hotch had been so surprised because he hadn't even thought about those charges. She was a genius, and she was merciless in court. That's why seeing the clumsy girl surprised him because she showed a completely different side of herself.

"Seems like we got another girl to babysit." Morgan rumbled beside him, slurping his coffee while staring at the girl with a smirk. Hotch hummed agreeing. "You think she'll give us a run for our money?"

"She is smart," Gideon mumbled, "she'll be okay."

With a smile, Hotch saw how the girl now had the man in a choke hold while she jumped excited. It was adorable.

"She'll fit right in." He whispered softly.

[powerful-niya]

2023 Reflection 𐙚🧸‹𝟹

🧸🥞🪐🩹🧋

— "Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I've ever been."

-Ian Thomas

2023.

Upon reflecting on 2023, I would describe it as a year filled with challenges—a beautiful challenge, teeming with opportunities for growth, exploration, and surpassing my own expectations.

"Trust the Process" served as my guiding mantra throughout the year, urging me to persevere through the initial struggles of ideas, projects, and experiences, pushing forward with resilience….

until the very end.

Yes, 2023 was challenging.

Busy.

Stressful.

But it was also inspiring.

Uplifting.

Joyous.

✨Looking back, I'm genuinely amazed by all the multitude of accomplishments I've achieved in the year of 2023.✨

I've…

🧸 Successfully graduated from Community College

🧸 Embarked on a journey at a University

🧸 Enhanced my driving skills

🧸 Secured a job

🧸 Joined a college club

🧸 Formed connections with new people

🧸 Delved into learning Japanese

🧸 Embraced baking as a new hobby

🧸 Explored new foods

🧸Made tons of moodboards

🧸 Got a lot more active on Tumblr, Discord, AO3, Wattpad

🧸 Entered Two Writing Events: Fest No Jutsu 2023 & NaruHina Month 2023

🧸 Took part in a personal Q&A session for Nhmonth23.

🧸Received FanMail: Nhmonth23

🧸 Wrote… a lot.

🧸🥞🪐🩹🧋

This year, my approach to writing took a significant turn. I've actively pushed myself to step outside my comfort zone, delving into writing alternative universes (AUs) that I've never attempted before—exploring uncharted territories I never thought I would. It's been a transformative journey, challenging my creativity in new and crazy ways.

𐙚🧸‹𝟹 - This Year I have written 467,449 words: give or take. (Naruhina)

(Also) In all I have made 55 moodboards (Naruhina)

🧸🥞🪐🩹🧋

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨2023 mч wrítíng єndєαvσrs ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚｡⋆thє undєrlчíng єvíl

NaruHina

✨nαruhínα mσnth 2022✨

Prompt: Fairytale, Gifted & Cursed + Enemies to Lovers

Wattpad | AO3 | FF.Net.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨Published in May 2023 ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚｡⋆αuє rєvσír

NaruHina

✨nαruhínα mσnth 2022✨

Prompt: Angel & Demon + Lost & Found + To'oborni

Wattpad | AO3 | FF.Net.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨Published in July 2023 ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚｡⋆kíss mє, thríll mє - nαruhínα smut cσllєctíσn

NaruHina

Wattpad | AO3

⋆˚｡⋆Eighteen One-Shots Completed: May - Dec. (2023) ⋆˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨Initally published in May 2023 ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚｡⋆thє tєll-tαlє hєαrt

NaruHina

✨Fest No Jutsu 2023✨

Wattpad | AO3 | FF.net.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨Published in October 2023 ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚｡⋆nαruhínα mσnth 2023

NaruHina

A part of the 'Kiss Me Thrill Me Smut Collection'

⋆˚｡⋆Five One-shots Completed: Dec 1 - Dec. 31 (2023).

Tumblr | Wattpad | AO3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨Published in December 2023 ୧⋆˚｡⋆

⋆˚⋆୨Conclusion୧⋆˚｡⋆

In the grand scheme of things, 2023 has been an exhilarating and wonderfully chaotic journey that I'm sure I'll fondly remember. ✨

Far from being a tough year, it turned out to be quite remarkable for me. I achieved a bunch of things I never imagined, ventured into uncharted territories, wrote Ooeshots/fanfics I never thought would come to my head, and created a plethora of mood boards—a hobby I find truly enjoyable.

The only reason why I began to do this whole 'reflection post thingy.' is because I was inspired by many others here on Tumblr who were taking their time to reflect on the passing year and their accomplishments.

I decided to give it a try, and now, I think I will make this a personal tradition.

Each year, I'll document my successes, reminisce about what I've done and achieved, and immortalize it all in writing for my own reflection.

🧸🥞🪐🩹🧋

2023 was truly amazing, but I have a feeling 2024 might just top it.(this is me wishful thinking, haha).

I'm truly looking forward to all that lies ahead!

#Goodbye 2023

✨Happy New Years! ✨

- Powerful_Niya

[chirpsythismorning]

I dont even think the tag is dead at all tbh. We were really spoiled last summer with 2k post per day, and something crazy happening everyday like Mikhailgate, scriptgate, sock anon or people impersonating Ross duffer, but if you check most tags on this app, that's rarely the case. The thing is, it's been a year since season 4 came out and we're still getting around 300 posts per day and I need people to realise how crazy that is. Before season 4 the tag had like 5 k followers and there could be days without a single post. The fact that it's been a year and we still surpass 200 posts, AND we've already made it through the most content drought phase of the hiatus (since filming is about to begin and we'll increase the daily posts again) is crazy. This tag is still very much active, even for a show that hasn't released any new content for a year. And also AO3 is still active. The fact that for a whole year, there's been writers who still update fics or create new ones everyday is something I'm not used to coming from other smaller fandoms.

I get it's a bit more boring right now and we are looking back to the may-august craze, but we've already made it through the worst and we only need to hold on for one more month

This is definitely the best way to look at it!

I think I’m also maybe sad bc a lot of familiar faces aren’t as active, like some folks I remember seeing daily are gone. Which is fine!

And even despite that you’ll see posts in the tag get like hundreds of likes, so there are definitely a lot of people still lurking just not posting. Which is also fine!

It’s so true though that we are a lot more active than we realize.

Tumblr in general I used to think of as like a no man’s land pre-s4 bc it tends to really only be active in specific fandoms where like the unity is on point bc the content is just rolling in.

So many fandoms reside here at a point, but dwindle over time, and I feel like we are very fortunate to have made a big space here bc it is a cool platform when you have a lot of people that like a certain thing and want to talk about it.

And we’re fortunate enough to be so massive and not only that but this is sort of just the beginning. Imagine how many followers we’ll gain leading up to s5, during and after…? Or the aftermath of people coming here to look at theories and be like YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT! All the queer fans who kind of talked down on us (understandably) for potentially falling for queerbait, joining in and being like wow this is surreal, it finally happened. It’s going to be magical.

For now I guess it just makes me wonder if I should take a break too?? Like seeing yourself over and over in the tag is almost a wake up call that I should step back like everyone else is for the time being? Bc like idk if it’s maybe annoying to see the same person over and over? Or if it’s just the reminder of how inactive things are and that’s what makes people step back too?

Not even a bad thing necessarily like you said, bc this is still an unprecedented case of a fandom being quite active despite the circumstances.

Honestly though, even if there isn’t much news going into May and in the couple months after it, beyond like the bare minimum of what we’re expecting, I’ll try to embrace it and maybe step back or even focus on more detailed posts instead of the day to day fodder.

I also hate myself for this, but I rarely go in the top posts tag??? I’m always like living in the recent posts part of it and that’s probably also the problem 😭

So reminder to anyone that’s like me who does the same, we gotta support more of us that have top posts too bc I will literally remember the top posts exists, go there, find absolute gems (obviously it’s top posts???) and then be like why the fuck don’t I come here more often??? That’s another way I could probably curb my disappointment about us not being as active as I’m used to. And it’s super simple.

There’s a lot of stuff like that I could do better at to contribute to the solution of this being a better experience for myself and other still active on here!

Thanks for the pep talk anón 😇🙏