#and it sneaks up on you every now and then
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hanniebaeee · 1 day ago
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Feral Puppy
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Hyunjin x fem!reader
Warnings: SMUT MDNI
Genre: colleagues/friends to lovers, fluff, smut
Summary: Hyunjin has the hugest crush on you, and you've been trying to avoid any workplace drama. He's an idol after all. But what are you supposed to do when this feral puppy is totally invested in winning you over?
a/n: Sweaty Jinnie is a weakness đŸ€­đŸ€­đŸ€­
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You sat at your desk, deep in work. The office was quiet this early in the morning, except for the rhythmic tapping of keys. You were so focused on your task that you barely noticed the group of boys passing by your little cubicle.
That is, until a soft thud caught your attention.
You glanced up, just in time to see a certain dark haired menace dropping a cupcake onto your desk - perfectly adorable with heart-shaped sprinkles, no less.
Hyunjin flashed you a wink that could make anyone melt. And you? You were trying so hard to not react. 
You could feel your heart skip a beat, and you sighed in exasperation, your cheeks heating up. Felix who was passing by gave you a wink. 
“Honestly, I don’t know if I should be flattered or embarrassed.” you muttered, and Felix snorted in response. 
"A little bit of both, I think." He said, picking off a sprinkle and popping it in his mouth.
You couldn’t help but laugh, because Hyunjin had been trying to get your attention for months. He was always sneaking little treats or flowers to your desk, or winking at you as you passed each other in the hallways.
It was adorable in the most frustratingly complicated way, especially since you were colleagues - technically- and it was strictly against the company policy. Especially since he was an idol and all that. 
But you still felt a rush of affection that made your heart ache. Hyunjin was too cute, and you hated that you had to keep it professional.
---
It was just a little after lunch that you had walked into the practice room to have a word with Chan. You've been bracing yourself for impact, because you know what a feral puppy he could be sometimes. 
The second you entered, naturally his head snapped around - he’d caught a whiff of your perfume. His eyes locked onto yours, and you could see the way his whole body seemed to tense.
"Down, boy!" Changbin barked, grabbing Hyunjin by the collar just as he took an eager step forward.
But Hyunjin just growled, still looking at you with those wide, pleading eyes.
"I just need to see her face," he insisted, his voice a little too dramatic, and oh dear, lets just say it hit you just at the right spot.
Felix was leaning against the wall now, clearly entertained.
"Bro, her face is your phone wallpaper," he teased with a wink.
The comment made you blush harder than you ever had in front of these idiots. Your eyes darted to Chan, who was supposed to be the mature one here. And now the said mature one was desperately trying to stifle his laughter.
You gave him a glare and he just shrugged, like there was nothing he could do to stop this chaos.
“Chan, are you serious right now?!” You hissed and he cleared his throat trying to regain some seriousness. 
But before he could respond, Changbin was back at it, pulling Hyunjin back by the shoulder.
"Nope," he said, shaking his head. "Down, puppy, down."
You couldn't help the little chuckle that left your lips.
God, you loved him. It was undeniable. But there was no way you could get involved with him, not with all the rules in place. You just had to keep pretending that his antics weren’t making your heart flutter in the most inappropriate of ways.
"You’re such a menace, you know that?" You muttered, shaking your head at Hyunjin. 
Hyunjin's eyes sparkled with mischief as he said, "If that means getting your attention, then I’ll gladly wear that title."
Your poor heart screamed at that, because honestly, you loved every minute of it.
And so did he.
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A few days later, you found yourself staying late at the office, finishing up some urgent reports. You were surrounded by an ominous stillness, because you were the only one left working on your floor and it was getting a little creepy by the moment.
You sent your emails quickly, packed up in record speed and bolted out of your workspace. But as soon as you turned the corner, you walked straight into a wall of muscle.
You froze, heart skipping a beat as you looked up slowly. And seeing Hyunjin’s sweaty, disheveled face staring back at you, you let out a sigh of relief.
That didn't last long because this exactly was your biggest
undoing. Sweat soaked Hyunjin was a weakness you didn't even like to discuss with yourself. 
His shirt was soaked through, clinging to his body, and you could actually see the muscles in his chest through it. His damn hair fell messily around his face, and there's a sheen of sweat on his forehead, making him look like some kind of god sent from another realm.
His wide eyes met yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved. You looked away quickly, absolutely embarrassed, but the damage was already done.
You could feel the string of control inside you stretching taut, ready to snap. 
Hyunjin watched you with a predatory gleam in his eyes. Not aggressive. No, it’s playful - and so damn hot.
“Didn’t expect to run into you tonight,” he said, his voice husky. 
You forced yourself to look up at him, and for a second, you both just stared at each other. Your body was screaming for release, but your brain was holding on.
You couldn’t cross that line. Not when it could ruin everything.
"I
uh, didn’t mean to startle you," you managed, your voice trembling just a little too much for your liking.
His scent is intoxicating, a mix of sweat and his cologne. And pheromones or whatever. 
"Startled?" he teased, his lips curling into a smile. "You’re staring. Are you sure you didn’t come to see me?"
"I-I wasn’t staring," you stammered, but you couldn’t even look him in the eye. You were so aware of every inch of him right now - it was like the droplets of sweat trickling down his skin were begging for your attention. 
"You're not fooling anyone, you know," he murmured, his voice dipping lower, sending a wave of heat shooting straight to your core. "You’re trying not to break, but I think it’s too late for that."
“Hyunjin-”
"How long are you going to pretend you don’t want this?" he asked, his words heavy with desire, making your heart race faster. "I can’t be the only one who feels it."
You swallowed hard, your hands trembling, your resolve completely gone. You wanted him so badly, it hurt. And maybe, just maybe, you didn’t want to fight it anymore.
Seeing that he has tormented you enough, Hyunjin pulled back just slightly, giving you a playful look that said, I’ll let you off the hook for now. 
"You’re so annoying," you whispered, more to yourself than to him.
He just smiled, completely unfazed, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "Am I?"
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The next few days were a nightmare. The lingering, burning tension that Hyunjin’s created between you two was literally frying your insides. And let's be real. Seeing him in all his sweat soaked glory, you were so unbearably turned on. 
Seeing you at the edge of your own self control, has unleashed something in him. He knows you were just as interested. That little moment? He was holding onto it. 
So you did the best thing - the only thing at this point - avoiding him. You asked Chan to meet at a conference room for a quick chat when it was necessary. Or you generally didn't venture towards the practice room. 
You’ve learned to keep your distance, at least a little. And you hoped that Hyunjin wouldn't notice. But Hyunjin was not having it. No. He was making it his personal goal to make sure nothing went unnoticed.
---
You were walking through the hallway, minding your business, trying to get to the elevator. You heard the footsteps behind you too late. You could swear you felt the heat of his presence before you even saw him.
Hyunjin, being the menace he was, barreled into you out of nowhere, pressing you up against the wall in a move that was so absolutely ridiculous that for a split second, you wondered if you were dreaming.
“What the hell, Hyunjin?!” you exclaimed, flailing as you try to regain your balance, your palms slapping against the cold wall.
You're heart raced and you glanced around feeling kind of dazed. But Hyunjin just stood there, smirking, totally unbothered.
“What?” he said innocently, his body still pressed against yours. “There’s not enough space to pass.”
“Are you serious?!” You flailed again, trying to step aside, but he just shifted his body to keep you pinned, making it impossible to escape. 
“Oh my God, Hyunjin, move!” You were flushed, not just from the physical contact, but from the audacity of it all. You didn’t even know if you were angry, embarrassed, or completely turned on. 
He looked down at you, his eyes glittering with something so mischievously feral.
“I know you don't mind, sweetheart,” he said, and you groaned internally. How did he keep doing this? The way he was so confident, so sure of himself. 
“Hyunjin, please.” You tried to get him to step back, but it’s like he’s glued to you.
“I didn't even do anything,”
Oh the nerve!
You tried to wiggle away, but his arms came up on either side of you, trapping you even further. You’re caught, pressed against the wall with nowhere to go, and his body is all around you.
“Let me go, Hyunjin,” you breathed, but it’s almost a plea now. “There are cameras everywhere!”
His grin widened as he watched you, and said, “Oh is there?”
You let out a soft growl of frustration, realizing you’ve lost all sense of control. Your grip on his shirt tightened, and Hyunjin bit his bottom lip seductively. Your were trembling in his arms. 
Maybe that was what he was aiming for, because he dropped his arms and took a step back. 
You quickly scrambled away, muttering curses under your breath as you speed-walked away. And Hyunjin watched you go, that mischievous smirk never leaving his face. 
“See you around, sweetheart,” he calls out after you.
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Hyunjin has successfully invaded every corner of your mind that you had so meticulously disciplined against doing exactly that. 
The teasing. The tension. Oh the need - it's been eating you alive. You couldn’t focus at work. You couldn’t go anywhere without your heart hammering at the thought of him. 
You’ve tried to ignore it, tried to compartmentalize it, but the truth is - you were well past the point of no return.
And then, of course, it happens again.
It was another late night at the office - one you tried so hard to avoid, but here you were. You were discreet and quiet.
You thought you'd made it. That this time you’d escaped his clutches. But as you walked down the dimly lit hallway, your heart just started to race again.
Because of course, he was coming toward you from the other side. And he stopped in front of you, his hands stuffed into his pockets. 
"Are you trying to avoid me?" he asked, his voice so low and husky, you wanted to jump off a cliff.
You swallowed hard, shaking your head as you said, “Why would I do that?”
Your voice wavered worse than a leaf in a storm. 
“Just making sure you don’t get any ideas,” he whispered - his face was so close now that you can feel his breath on your lips.
You were so damn tempted to lean in just a little. You shouldn’t. You couldn't.
“You know, I’m waiting for you to crack, baby,” he murmured. “Just let go, you know you want to.”
Your heart raced and flipped and fluttered all at once, and you could feel the heat creeping up your neck. You tried to step back but obviously there's nowhere to go. But he followed, matching your every movement.
“Hyunjin,” you said his name so softly, a breathless sound that made his eyes flash with something darker, something predatory. “Please, just-”
But he was done playing nice. His hand came up to gently hold your chin, lifting your face so you couldn't look away and you were forced to meet his gaze.
“You think you can just keep running from me?” he breathed, stepping impossibly closer. “If you didn't want me, you would've said that by now. But you keep me hanging, and I'm just about done with that.”
And that was when you lost it.
Before you knew what you were doing, your hand came up to grip the back of his neck, pulling him closer. His lips crashed against yours, desperate, unrestrained. The kiss was hot, messy - all tongue and teeth.
And it was everything you’ve wanted.
He groaned into the kiss, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you even closer. His body was hard and slick with sweat, and you could feel the heat radiating from every inch of him. 
His lips trailed down your neck, making you gasp as he kissed the sensitive skin just below your ear.
“Told you,” he whispered against your skin, his breath hot. “I knew you couldn’t keep pretending.”
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his lips  slightly swollen from the kiss. 
“I need to hear it, okay?” he said, his voice low and filled with promise. “Tell me you want this too.”
You looked at him, your breath coming in shallow pants. You were done pretending.
“No more running,” you whispered. “I want you too
”
And Hyunjin gave you a smile so radiant, you could die happily at the moment.
“Come on,” He said, taking your hand and pulling you away. “Let's go somewhere safe.”
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A room next to their studio. Barely used. Kind of dusty. But it worked.
The minute you stepped in, his lips were on yours. He had you pressed up against the cold wall of the unused office, your bodies tangled together in an almost desperate need. Your hands tugged at his shirt, trying to get it off, and he didn’t even hesitate, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside. 
His hands roamed over you, caressing, groping, pulling you closer as if he was starving for you. 
“God, I love you-” He growled, his hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you into him. The heat  radiating off his body and the feel of every muscle flex beneath his skin - you were blinded by it. 
His hands were sliding up your sides, tugging at your clothes, as if he was hungry to see every inch of you. You gasp when his fingertips grazed the skin of your waist, as he took off your shirt. 
"Hyunjin..." you whispered, breathless, the sound of his name escaping your lips like a prayer. 
"You’re so fucking beautiful," he growled, his lips finding their way down down chest. His fingers pulled down the cup of your bra, as he pressed soft kisses around the flesh. 
Your lips parted, but no words came out, just breathy gasps as his lips wrapped around your nipple. The soft scrape of his teeth on your skin made you shiver, and you couldn't stop the low moan that escaped from deep in your chest.
“Fuck baby,” he moaned against your skin, his breath hot, sending goosebumps across your body.
“Hyunjin,” you gasped, tugging him closer, your hands finding his waistband of his sweats. He groaned, clearly as desperate as you are, and his lips crashed back to yours. His tongue sweeped over yours, and you lost yourself in the kiss.
His hands moved down to your waist, his grip tightening as he lifted you effortlessly. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you felt how hard he was for you. 
He carried you effortlessly toward the desk in the corner of the room. Placing you on the edge of the desk, his hands trailed up your thighs as he leaned in to kiss you again. You couldn't stop the trembling in your body as you pulled him closer. 
Hyunjin’s hands move quickly, pulling off the rest of your clothes. His dark eyes take in your body, pupils blown wide with lust. 
“You’re perfect,” he murmured, his hands sliding over the exposed skin of your tummy. 
“Hyunjin
 now.” you said desperately, pulling at his pants again, and they're gone in a flash. 
When he finally stood completely bare before you, the sight of him sent a shock of heat straight through your body. He was so beautiful - every inch of him. 
His eyes never left yours as he positioned himself between your legs, his hands gripping your waist as he brought you closer to him. You felt his hard length pressed against you, and you whimpered softly at the thought of what’s about to happen.
“I need you,” you whispered, your hands running through his hair, pulling him in for another kiss. “Now.”
And with that, Hyunjin moved, spreading your legs and pushing into you slowly. You shivered as he filled you completely, stretching you out.
You gazed up at him, the beads of sweat (he was sweating again - again) trickling down the side of his face. 
“Oh my God,” You whined softly, closing your eyes, and he grinned, a chuckle escaping his lips. He began to move, slipping in and out of you with every thrust. Your hands gripped at the edges of the desk, trying to steady yourself as the pleasure built between you both.
You were so wet, and Hyunjin couldn't stop looking at where you two were connected, and with a frustrated sigh, he pulled out completely. 
You gasped and stared up at him, as he grabbed your legs and pulled you more to the edge and then, his face was in between your thighs. 
You almost shrieked - because that was absolutely unexpected. He wasn't wasting any time, his tongue lapping at your dripping folds and nudging your clit. Your hand landed on his hair, pulling at it gently and Hyunjin hummed - the vibrations of it making you drip even more.
“Hyun
 Hyunjin!” You moaned, as he licked softly over your clit and nibbled on it gently making your breath catch. 
It didn't take long for your first orgasm to crash down over you, and when Hyunjin straightened, he had the most satisfied grin on his face. 
“You're so sweet, baby,” He cooed and you were sure your cheeks were at least two shades redder than before. “I couldn't resist it.”
You laughed, a tired one at that and he laughed with you before stepping in between your legs again. He ran his hands up and down your thighs and you watched, breathing heavily. 
“Can I?” He asked softly, and you nodded with a smile. 
It felt deliciously good when he slipped in this time, and the rhythm between you was slow at first -  tender - but it didn't take long for that to change. Hyunjin’s need took over, and he began to move faster and harder, his body crashing into yours with a force that left you breathless.
The sound of his body slapping against yours filled the room, and you couldn't stop the moans that escaped your lips. Every thrust sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, and you clung on to him tightly. 
He was everywhere - his hands, his lips, his body - and you were drowning in him.
You pull him closer, you lips kissing down his neck -  glistening with sweat - and you loved the way he moaned as you bit down right below his ear. 
You didn't know this was such a turn on for you until today. This man did things to you that even you didn't understand. And you didn't mind really. 
And you could feel that knot tightening in your belly again. Your eyes met, and you gripped him tightly, as his name escaped your lips in a breathless gasp. 
Your whole body shuddered as you hit your peak again, and Hyunjin kept moving, till you heard him groan and pull out quickly, spilling all over your tummy.
You were both left breathless, hearts racing, tangled together in a mess of sweat and your releases. For a moment, neither of you speak. 
Finally, Hyunjin gently cupped your face with his hand, his eyes softening. 
“I love you, Y/N. So damn much.” He whispered and you could swear you've never seen him being this serious. Ever. 
“I love you too, Jinnie,” You said, and your smile had him smiling. And the two of you were giggling and hugging each other tightly. 
“I told you I’d make you mine,” he mumbled against your neck, pressing a gentle kiss there.
“Yeah yeah,”
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The next morning, you walked into the office, trying to act like everything was normal. But as soon as you stepped in, the atmosphere just felt different. 
You sat down at your desk, but before you could  even open your laptop, Changbin, Felix, and Chan came strolling into the office like they’ve been waiting for you. 
Oh they knew. 
“Morning, Y/N,” Changbin said, his tone way too casual. “Sleep well?”
You forced a smile, trying to stay calm, but inside you’re screaming. 
“Yeah, sure. Thanks for asking.” you managed to say, as you avoided making eye contact with him. 
“I’m sure you had a very eventful night, huh?” Felix was leaning against your desk now, his chin on his hand and a toothy grin in place. 
You dropped your head into your hands, already feeling the embarrassment creeping up. And then, you heard it. That sweet, chuckle which had you wanting to crawl under your desk and never come out. 
“Hyunjin,” you hissed, glaring at him as he strutted over to you, like a damn puppy who’s just been given a treat. 
And he looked so fucking proud of himself.
"Good morning, sweetheart,” he said, dropping that mandatory cupcake on your desk. 
You didn't hold back the sigh.
“Oh my God, Hyunjin,” you whined, burying your face in your hands in defeat. “Please.”
“What? You think they didn’t notice?” he asked innocently, pointing at the spot under his ear, where he sported a very evident hickey. 
Oh you wanted to die. Felix snickered, totally enjoying this. 
“And you’re glowing love, it looks good.” he said kindly. 
“Oh my god, oh my god,” you groaned, pressing your fingers into your temples. “Could you not?”
“You know we should have a talk about office etiquette. But then again... if it was that good
” Chan added, raising his eyebrows, a smile tugging at his lips as he glanced between you and Hyunjin. 
“I’m going to murder all of you.” 
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Divider: @saradika-graphics
Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @satosugu4l
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orangeblossomsintheair · 2 days ago
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS (3/3) | CS55
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summary : You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have. But it’s too late now. “He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
wc : 14k
an : This might be the end of the Illicit Affairs series! Honestly I might write another part (as I intended) but I realized it could also end here. I might work it alongside a few other fics on the back burner.
The thing about Carlos is that he doesn’t tiptoe. He doesn’t hesitate.
He’s the kind of guy who walks into your life, plops down, and acts like he’s always been there.
At first, you think he’s just passing through, like one of those tumbleweeds in old Westerns. Here for a moment, gone in another, leaving only a faint memory and maybe a little dust.
But Carlos is no tumbleweed.
He’s ivy. Creeping into the corners of your life, attaching himself with relentless charm and absolutely zero warning.
At first, it had just been sex.
Carlos calls, you pick up, and the two of you dive headfirst into whatever filthy scenario he’s cooked up for the evening.
It’s hot, it’s fun, and afterwards, you both lie there catching your breath while exchanging a few words like some half-hearted attempt at aftercare.
“Good for you?” he’ll ask, panting, his voice somehow managing to sound both teasing and sincere.
“Sure,” you say, rolling your eyes at the ceiling. “Top ten, at least.”
He laughs. Deep, warm, addictive. “I’ll aim for top five next time.”
It’s simple. Casual. Exactly what you signed up for.
Until it’s not.
Until the minutes start to stretch.
At first, it’s just an extra five. Then ten. Then before you know it, the two of you are sitting there, chatting about absolutely nothing long after the heat of the moment has faded.
Next thing you know Carlos is reaching out for the sake of company.
It’s easy to brush it off at first.
To pretend it’s harmless.
Carlos is just a guy who’s annoyingly good at making you laugh and has a voice so smooth it could probably negotiate world peace or at least a really good discount at a used car dealership.
But then, one afternoon, as you’re scrolling through your texts, you realize something horrifying:
You talk to Carlos more than you talk to your friends.
No, scratch that. You talk to Carlos more than you talk to anyone.
And it’s not just the sheer volume. It’s the content.
It’s the way his words sneak into your day, set up camp, and throw a block party. He texts you good morning before you’ve even had coffee, which is frankly criminal.
Carlos Rise and shine, baby. Did you dream about me again?
You I dreamed I hit you with my car
Carlos Hot. Was I shirtless?
You No, but you were crying. Freaked me out
Carlos Probably because I looked so good
You should block him.
You should delete his number.
You do neither, because somewhere deep down, you’re a masochist.
He doesn’t stop at morning texts either.
He sends unsolicited opinions all day, every day.
Carlos Do you think cows ever get tired of standing?
You They sit, Carlos. They sit all the time.
Carlos Yeah, but like, emotionally? What if they’re just pretending to like grass because they’re scared of change
You What would they change to, exactly? Chicken nuggets?
Carlos Maybe. Cows could be wild carnivores waiting for their moment. We don’t know what they’re capable of.
One day, while you're halfway through a bag of chips, your phone buzzes again.
Carlos Do you think birds ever judge us for not flying?
You You need therapy
Carlos So do you, but I don’t judge
You You judge me constantly đŸ€š
The banter becomes relentless.
Carlos If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
You Pasta
Carlos Predictable. You’re so basic it physically hurts
You Pretentious words from a man whose favorite snack is probably caviar
Carlos First of all, how dare you
You You’re trash
Carlos Trash that you text back btw
Then comes the random photos.
He sends you a blurry picture of his sneakers one afternoon.
Carlos Do these make me look fast? Be honest, but also lie
You Fast to embarrass yourself
Carlos Wow. Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
Carlos Does it change anything if I say they’re limited edition
You Limited edition ugly
He sends you a picture of his dog another day, sprawled on the couch like he pays rent.
Carlos We’ve decided to boycott walkies today.
Solidarity with my guy.
You Tell him he’s lazy
Carlos He says those are bold words from someone who hasn’t hit the gym this week
You glare at the screen. It’s 7 a.m. How does he even know that?
You Your dog is illiterate. Don’t drag him into this
Carlos Rude. He’s very smart
You He licks his own butt
He becomes a fixture in your life without you even noticing.
Carlos Did you miss me while I was asleep?
One morning, you’re sipping your coffee when your phone buzzes.
You I slept better knowing you weren’t conscious
Carlos So, you’re saying you dreamt about me
You I dreamt I moved to a remote island where Wi-Fi doesn’t exist
Carlos Romantic getaway for two. Love that for us
You groan, but your fingers are already typing a response.
And somehow, without you realizing it, Carlos isn’t just a voice on the phone or a name on your screen.
He’s everywhere, weaving himself into your days with his relentless humor and absolute refusal to leave you alone.
That’s why when a day passes by without any contact, you’re tilted off balance.
The silence is unnerving.
You tell yourself it’s just one night.
One single night where Carlos doesn’t text or call, and you should be relieved.
Grateful, even, for the reprieve from his relentless antics.
But you’re not.
You spend the evening trying not to think about it.
You scroll through Instagram, open a book, binge half a season of some random series. But every few minutes, you find yourself glancing at your phone, waiting for it to light up.
It doesn’t.
The hours crawl by, and by the time you’re lying in bed, glaring at the ceiling, you’re starting to feel
 itchy. Annoyed. Frustrated. And maybe just a little bit unreasonably hurt.
Then, finally, your phone buzzes.
You grab it so fast you nearly knock it off the nightstand.
Carlos Miss me?
Your stomach does a ridiculous little flip, but you type back quickly.
You Not even a little
Carlos Liar
Another message follows: a selfie of him holding the meerkat plushie you’d sent him as a joke a week ago.
Carlos He misses you too
You groan, but your cheeks ache from smiling.
Carlos By the way
Carlos I sent you a gift
You I didn’t get a package?
Carlos Wait
Carlos Call me when you get it
You shake your head, setting your phone down.
It’s probably something stupid. Knowing Carlos, it could be anything from a ridiculous gag gift to an actual penguin.
Two days later, a package arrives.
It’s sitting on your kitchen counter, deceptively normal-looking for something that Carlos sent.
You eye it warily, debating whether you should even bother opening it.
You stare at it for a good ten minutes, arms crossed, trying to decide whether you should call him first or just dump it straight into the trash.
Eventually, curiosity (and mild fear) wins out. You grab your phone and click the topmost contact.
It rings once before he picks up.
“I was wondering how long it’d take you,” Carlos says, his voice smooth and entirely too smug.
“What the hell did you send me?” you demand without preamble.
“Why don’t you open it and find out?”
“Carlos.”
“Yes?”
You groan, already regretting this decision. “I swear to God, if it’s alive-”
“It’s not alive,” he interrupts.
“Then what is it?”
“Open it.”
“No,” you snap. “Because if it’s something awful, I can’t unsee it. I’m preemptively traumatized. Just tell me what it is so I can mentally prepare.”
“That’s not how surprises work,” he replies, completely unbothered.
“It’s not a surprise if I hate it,” you point out.
“You won’t hate it.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“You might be pleasantly surprised,” he insists, and there’s a tone in his voice, something too smug, too amused, that makes your stomach churn with suspicion.
“Carlos,” you warn.
“Yes?”
“If this is some kind of prank-”
“It’s not a prank,” he says, cutting you off again. “It’s a gift. A thoughtful, meaningful, deeply personal gift.”
“Deeply personal?” you echo, narrowing your eyes at the box like it’s about to explode. “That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
“It’s just a little something to remind you of me,” he adds, which is possibly the least reassuring thing he could have said.
You exhale sharply through your nose, setting your phone down on the counter so he can see.
His face lights up on the screen, all lazy smirks and overconfidence, and you hate the way your stomach flips at the sight of him.
Grabbing a pair of scissors, you slice through the tape with the caution of someone defusing a bomb.
Carlos watches you with rapt attention, his chin resting on his hand. “Excited?”
“I’m terrified,” you deadpan, peeling back the flaps of the box.
For a moment, you just stare.
Then, you shriek. Loudly.
“Carlos, what the fuck?!”
He leans closer to the camera, his grin widening. “You like it?”
“You sent me a dildo?!” you yell, your voice an octave higher than usual.
“Not just any dildo,” he says smugly, sitting back like he’s the king of the universe.
You stare at him, then at the object in the box, and back at him again.
It looks
 normal, at first glance.
But then you notice the size. The veins. The shade.
The very specific details.
“Oh my God,” you whisper, horror dawning. “It’s your
 your
”
“My cock,” he supplies helpfully. “Yep.”
“Carlos!” you screech, clutching the box like it’s cursed. “You’re a lunatic!”
“True,” he says, completely unfazed. “But admit it- you’re impressed.”
“Impressed?!” you repeat, your voice pitching even higher. “What is WRONG with you?!”
“A lot,” he admits, far too cheerfully. “But you already knew that.”
“How did you even- who does this?!”
“Visionaries,” he says smoothly. “Trendsetters. People who care deeply about customer satisfaction.”
“Customer?!”
“Well, you.”
“I am not your customer!” you yell, holding the replica aloft like it’s a cursed artifact.
Carlos is unbothered. “Technically, you are. You’ve been enjoying the original product for a while now. Or, well, the sight of it.”
You choke on air. “You’re insane.”
“Insanely thoughtful,” he corrects.
“You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re flustered. It's very cute.”
Your jaw drops. “I am not-”
He cuts you off, grinning wider. “So, when’s the test drive?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, setting the
 thing down and burying your face in your hands. “This isn’t happening.”
“Take your time,” he says, magnanimous. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re welcome, by the way,” he adds, like this is a completely normal conversation.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“I know. That’s what makes it such a great surprise,” he says, his grin practically splitting his face.
“Surprise?!” you echo. “I almost had a heart attack!”
“You’ll appreciate it later,” he says confidently.
“I will not!”
“Bet you will.”
“You need therapy,” you hiss, shoving the box away like it might explode.
“And you need lube,” he counters smoothly.
“You’re deranged!”
“Efficient,” he corrects, smirking. “In case you miss me.”
“I don’t!” you lie, your face burning.
Carlos watches you, entirely too pleased with himself. “You’re keeping it, though.”
“I am absolutely not-”
“Yes, you are,” he interrupts, his tone maddeningly smug.
“I am throwing it in the trash right now!” you declare, grabbing the box and stomping toward the trash can.
He leans closer to the camera, completely unbothered. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
You freeze, hand hovering over the trash.
“There it is,” he says smugly. “Knew you wouldn’t.”
“You’re insufferable,” you mutter, stomping back to the counter and slamming the box down.
“And yet, here you are, calling me,” he points out.
“Because I needed to yell at you!”
“And now you’re smiling.”
“I am not smiling!” you yell, even as you turn away from the camera to hide the traitorous curl of your lips.
Carlos laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Admit it- you think it’s funny.”
“I think it’s horrifying!”
“You’re laughing on the inside.”
“I’m plotting your murder on the inside,” you snap.
“Sure, sure,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “So. Again. When are you trying it out?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“Liar,” he says again, his grin positively devilish.
Before you can come up with a response, he adds, “Just make sure to let me know how it compares to the real thing. For science.”
“You’re insane,” you mutter, grabbing your phone and ending the call with a vicious jab.
Seconds later, your phone buzzes with a text.
Carlos Don’t forget lube, babe. You’re gonna need it. ;)
You stare at the screen, your cheeks burning.
Carlos And batteries. Unless you want to do it the old-fashioned way. Your call.
You want to throw the phone, the box, and maybe yourself out the nearest window.
You Blocked
Carlos Bad girl.
—
Carlos has this way of getting under your skin. Not in an infuriating, "I can’t believe I’m dealing with this" kind of way, but more in the likes of "Why do I secretly enjoy this ridiculousness?"
It starts with a string of increasingly pathetic messages.
Carlos Please?
Carlos Just once?
Carlos I take that back.
Carlos Twice? Maybe even thrice
Carlos C’mon, I’ll be good
Carlos I’m literally begging here
Carlos On my knees
Carlos Pathetically btw
Carlos Do you need a photo for proof?
You roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t fall out of your head.
You Carlos, we are not doing this again
Carlos You say that
Carlos But I feel like deep down you want to. You’re just being stubborn
He replies instantly, because of course he’s sitting there, waiting for your response like his life depends on it.
“Stubborn,” you deadpan, fingers hovering over your phone. “Sure. That’s definitely it.”
And then he hits you with a voice note, because apparently texts alone can’t convey his desperation.
You don’t even mean to open it, but your thumb slips, and suddenly there he is, using that tone that he knows gets to you.
"Just once," he begs, words spilling out of your speakers like some lovesick fool. "I swear I’ll make it worth your time. Please. I just wanna watch you take me again."
You know you shouldn’t.
It’s ridiculous, bordering on embarrassing.
But then you picture his face, probably flushed, probably biting his lip in that way that always gets to you, and against your better judgment, you cave.
You Fine. But just this once
Carlos I love you
Carlos You’re the best
Carlos I’m naming my firstborn after you
You Just call me
Carlos Yes ma'am đŸ„°
When the call connects, you're met with the sight of Carlos lounging on his couch looking very much the part of a man who's won an impossible bet.
One arm is draped lazily over the backrest, laptop balanced on his thighs.
The soft glow from the screen highlights the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that you know feels just as delicious as it looks.
The smirk that he wears is devastating. An expression of smug satisfaction that makes your pulse race even as you curse him for it.
His shirt clings to his broad chest, the undone buttons teasing you with a glimpse of hard lines across tanned skin.
His eyes are locked onto you.
There’s heat in them, hunger.
He’s relaxed, but you can feel the tension rolling off him, the way he’s barely holding himself back.
And you?
You’re perched on your bed, knees tucked beneath you, completely bare.
The dildo lies heavy in your hand, the silicone cool against your flushed skin.
The sheer indecency of it sends a rush of heat through you, making your thighs clench.
Carlos smirks, his hand disappearing offscreen for a moment, only to return with a slow stroke along his already hard cock.
He leans forward slightly, the movement drawing your eyes to the way his length twitches in his hand.
For someone who was shamelessly begging just minutes ago, Carlos is playing it way too cool now.
“Naked on your bed, holding a mold of my dick,” he says, his voice smooth like it’s a damn sales pitch. “I mean, come on. That’s the kind of devotion poets write sonnets about.”
You snort, rolling your eyes even as your cheeks heat up. “Oh, yeah. Shakespeare totally had this in mind when he wrote, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.’”
“Exactly. I’m a classic, baby. Timeless.”
“Delusional,” you counter, grabbing the bottle of lube with way more force than necessary.
His laugh is low and warm, the kind that annoyingly makes your stomach flip. “Call it what you want, but you didn’t say no to my ‘gift.’”
Your glare falters, just for a second, and he catches it immediately. Carlos thrives on cracks in your armor, and his smirk sharpens like a predator who just spotted its prey.
You glare at the bottle in your hand like it personally wronged you. "I hate you," you mutter, squeezing out a glob of lube.
Carlos's face lights up on the screen, all smug satisfaction and unearned charm. "Funny, because you're doing exactly what I asked. Almost like you want to."
"Don’t push your luck,”
He leans closer to his camera, his grin widening. "Oh, pushing my luck is my favorite hobby. You know this."
You level him with a deadpan stare. "And yet, here you are. Still single."
"Wow. Low blow. But fine, I'll allow it, because you're about to make my night."
"Make your night?" You scoff, dragging this out purely to annoy him. "I’m just trying to remember what this was called. A gag gift, right? Or was it just a waste of money?"
His jaw drops. "A gag gift? I can’t believe you’d say that. This is art."
"This is silicone," you reply flatly, holding up the toy with a disapproving shake of your head.
"Silicone art," he corrects, pointing at the screen like that changes anything. His grin sharpens. "And don’t pretend you weren’t curious the moment I sent it to you."
"You sent this to annoy me," you retort, spreading the lube over your fingers with dramatic flair. "And congratulations, it worked."
Carlos leans forward, his chin propped on his hand as he watches you, his dark eyes glittering with mischief.
"Oh, but look at you now. All lubed up and ready to go. Who's the real winner here, hmm?"
"Still me," you shoot back, though your fingers falter as you glance down at the toy.
Your grip tightens as if it’s a stress ball, and the obscene squelch it makes has you biting back a groan.
Carlos’s smirk grows. "Careful, sweetheart. You keep squeezing it like that, and I’ll think you’re practicing for something."
You let out a sharp breath through your nose, refusing to look at him. "You’re insufferable, you know that?"
He leans in even closer. "And you’re still here. Lube in hand. Ready to-"
"Don’t finish that sentence," you interrupt, finally looking up to glare at him. "I’ll block you."
Carlos snickers, leaning back like he’s won. "You’d never block me. I’m your favorite pain in the ass."
"No," you say, grabbing the toy with more force than necessary. "You're just a pain in the ass in general. Huge difference."
His brow arches as he watches you spread the lube along the length of the toy, the slick sound louder than your ego can handle. You freeze mid-motion, hyper-aware of his gaze tracking every movement.
Carlos’s grin falters for a moment, replaced by something darker, hungrier. His voice drops an octave. "Good girl."
The unexpected praise punches the air out of your lungs, and your hands falter, nearly dropping the toy.
"Keep going," he murmurs, his tone rich with satisfaction. His eyes don’t leave yours, the heat in them curling low in your stomach. "Let me see you do it."
Your pride flares, and you straighten your spine, lifting your chin as you resume your movements with exaggerated precision.
"You’re lucky I don’t throw this thing across the room," you grumble.
Carlos hums, his gaze shamelessly lingering. "You wouldn’t dare. That thing cost more than your dignity."
"Bold words for someone whose dignity died in 2016," you snap, but the banter feels more like a lifeline now, a way to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze.
The corner of his mouth lifts, cocky and infuriating. "Touché."
You inhale sharply, your hands trembling slightly as you grip the toy.
You hate how your body reacts to him, how his voice, his laugh, his everything gets under your skin like this.
Carlos leans forward again, his smirk all-knowing. "Having fun yet?"
Your pride makes you glare at him. “Fuck you.”
His laugh is low, indulgent, the sound curling around you like smoke. "Soon, sweetheart. Very soon."
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” he fires back smoothly, his eyes gleaming with wicked intent.
His voice drops to a growl. "But you won’t, will you? You’ll do exactly what I say because you love being told what to do. Makes you wet just thinking about it, doesn’t it?"
Your lips part, but the sharp retort you’re trying to form dies as his gaze drops to your hands.
His smirk fades, replaced by a hunger so fierce it leaves you breathless.
“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice rich with satisfaction.
The unexpected praise sends a rush of heat straight to your core. "Keep going. Let me see you do it."
Your fingers tremble as you continue spreading lube on the length of the toy, the silicone cool against your skin.
“Fuck,” Carlos breathes, his hand tightening around his cock. “Look at you, already so obedient. Knew you’d listen.”
He shifts slightly, his voice softening. “Now, spread those legs for me. Show me how wet you are. I want to see that pretty pussy you’ve been thinking about me filling.”
Your thighs part, the cool air brushing against your slick heat as you settle back against the pillows.
His sharp inhale through the speakers sends a jolt straight to your core.
“Fuck,” he groans, his voice strained.
His hand pauses on his cock as he drinks in the sight of you, dark eyes dragging over every inch of exposed skin. "You’re so fucking perfect. Do you even realize how bad I want to bury myself in you right now?"
Your skin feels like it’s on fire, the heat spreading from your cheeks to your chest as the ache between your thighs sharpens with every passing second of his unrelenting stare.
Slowly, you drag the toy through your folds, the soft, slick sound of your arousal breaking the tense silence.
It’s obscene, the way the wetness clings, glistening on the head of the silicone.
Your arousal drips along your thighs, the skin glistening under the low light and you can feel how messy you’ve become, how utterly soaked you are.
"Oh, sweetheart," he rasps, his eyes fixed on the toy and the way it slides against your swollen folds. "That's it. Get it nice and wet for me. I want to see just how desperate you are to take it."
Your fingers tremble as you position the toy at your entrance, the blunt tip pressing against your slick heat. You hesitate, glancing up at him through the screen.
“Carlos
”
“Go on, baby,” he urges, his tone soft but insistent. “Don’t make me wait. I want to see you take it.”
You bite your lip, a soft whine escaping as you slide the tip between your folds again. His gaze darkens, his strokes faltering as he watches you hover above it.
The moment the dildo breaches the first ring of muscles, your head falls back with a moan that’s nothing short of sinful.
Carlos’s eyes burn through the screen, dark and wild, his fist sliding steadily up and down his cock as he watches you begin to move.
“Fuck, baby, look at you,” he groans, his voice rough and needy. “You’re so fucking tight. That little pussy is made for me, isn’t it?”
You whimper, your hips starting to bounce, your slick heat making it easier to slide up and down. The toy stretches you so perfectly, but it’s his words that send fire shooting through your veins.
“Yes,” you gasp, gripping the bed to keep your balance. “It’s yours, Carlos. Always yours.”
“Damn right it is,” he growls, stroking himself faster. “You'd rather have me inside you, stretching you out, making you scream my name, hm? Doesn't matter if it's a mold from my cock. Still can't compare, yeah?”
Your hips jerk at his filthy words, and you pick up the pace, grinding down harder until the toy presses right against that spot that makes you see stars.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice dripping with dominance. “Say how much you want my cock, baby. Tell me what you miss.”
“I miss you,” you cry out, each bounce making your voice tremble. “Miss the way you fill me up, how fucking deep you get- oh god, Carlos-”
“That’s my girl,” he groans, his jaw tightening as he watches the way your body moves, the slick sounds of the dildo sliding in and out of you driving him insane.
“You’d take me so good, wouldn’t you? Let me fuck you until you can’t even think, until you’re dripping all over my cock.”
“Please,” you whine, your fingers digging into the sheets as the pleasure builds, your body tightening around the toy with every bounce. “I need it. Need you to fuck me, Carlos. Need to feel you come inside me-”
“Shit,” he growls, his hips jerking up into his hand. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Feeling me stretch you open, filling you so full you’d still be dripping with me the next day.”
Your head is spinning, the combination of his words and the relentless drag of the dildo inside you sending you spiraling closer to the edge.
“You’d let me do whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” His voice is a low, dirty rasp now, his strokes frantic as he chases his release. “You’d let me bend you over, fuck you on every surface in the house, make you come over and over until you’re begging me to stop.”
You nod desperately.
“Go faster, baby” Carlos murmurs, his voice low and rough.
You whimper, obeying.
Each downward motion stretches you all over again, and the fullness makes your eyes flutter shut as a moan spills from your lips.
Carlos’s growl cuts through the speakers, low and rough. “You look so pretty fucking yourself on it like that.”
You lift yourself just enough for the toy to drag along your walls, the friction igniting sparks of pleasure that ripple through you.
When you sink back down, the stretch feels even deeper. Your thighs tremble, your pace picking up as the need builds inside you.
“Fuck,” Carlos groans. “Your tits are bouncing so perfectly. Keep going, baby, let me see them move while you ride it.”
Your breasts sway with each bounce, the motion only adding to the heat pooling low in your belly.
The way his eyes lock onto you, dark, hungry, devouring, makes your nipples pebble, the cool air only amplifying the sensation.
“You look so fucking good,” Carlos murmurs, half mindless, his strokes on his cock quickening as he watches you. “Look at how deep it’s stretching you. Look at the way your tits bounce every time you take it. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
You can’t stop now, the pleasure too much to ignore.
Your hips grind down harder, rolling in small circles as you press yourself against the base of the toy.
Each motion sends shocks of ecstasy through you, your slick heat gripping the silicone like you never want it to leave.
“Bounce on it harder,” he says.
Your hands grip the sheets tightly as you obey, your hips lifting and dropping with more urgency.
The wet, obscene sound of the toy sliding in and out of you fills the room, mixing with your soft gasps and moans. Your breasts bounce with every movement, and you feel the weight of his gaze like a physical touch.
“Baby,” Carlos groans, his fist tightening around his cock as he watches you ride the toy. “You’re so fucking perfect. You’d ride me just like that, wouldn’t you? Taking every inch, letting me stretch you open until you can’t handle it.”
Your breath catches, your body arching as you grind down harder, the toy hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. “Carlos,” you gasp, your voice trembling. “It feels so good- so fucking full-”
“That’s it,” he growls, his strokes turning frantic as he watches you lose yourself. “Take it all, baby. Keep bouncing. I want to see you come while you’re stretched out like that.”
“Yes,” you gasp, your body trembling as you grind harder, your cries turning into broken moans. “Carlos, I’m- fuck, I’m gonna come-”
“Do it,” he growls, his eyes locked on you, his voice pure command. “Come for me, baby. I want to see it. Show me how fucking good I make you feel.”
Your body shatters at his words, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your walls clench around the toy, your cries spilling out uncontrollably as pleasure courses through you.
“Fucking hell,” Carlos groans, his own release hitting him hard as he watches you fall apart. His hand jerks wildly as he spills over himself, his groans mixing with your whimpers through the screen.
As you both come down, the air is thick and charged, your bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. Carlos grins at you, looking like the devil himself, his chest still heaving.
“Pretty girl.”
—-
Carlos’s phone is propped up against his water bottle, the screen showing you on the other end of the line as the two of you talk over lunch.
He’s at a small cafĂ© near the gym, picking at a plate of grilled chicken and rice while you sit on the terrace of a restaurant somewhere near the Monaco Marina.
He can’t tell which restaurant exactly, but it doesn’t matter. He’s too focused on the way the sunlight catches in your hair, how you’re picking at a croissant with absentminded precision.
“So, wait,” you say, mid-bite. “You’re telling me you thought you could just wing the French?”
Carlos grins, popping a spoonful into his mouth. “I did wing it. The waiter understood me perfectly.”
“Sure,” you deadpan. “Because pointing at the menu is such a skill.”
He chuckles, wiping his fingers on a napkin. “Why complicate things? A man’s gotta eat.”
You shake your head, your exasperation half-hearted at best. “You’re hopeless.”
“Worked, didn't it?” he counters smoothly, a spark of mischief in his eyes.
You roll your eyes but don’t argue, which feels like a victory.
For a moment, the conversation drifts to lighter topics.
Where you’d want to travel next, the chaos of his morning workout, and whether or not croissants count as dessert.
It’s easy, effortless, the kind of back-and-forth that feels like second nature.
But then you glance down, suddenly fidgeting with your sleeve, and Carlos picks up on the shift immediately.
“What’s that face?” he asks, leaning forward, curiosity laced in his tone.
You pause, debating, then sigh. “Can I tell my friends about this?”
Carlos blinks. “This?”
“Us,” you say, casually, but the word lands heavier than you probably realize.
He freezes for a split second, his mind stalling like a rookie stalling a car on the grid.
Us.
You don't mean it in the way that’s currently making his chest feel too tight, but it doesn’t stop the word from echoing in his head.
You take another bite of your croissant like you haven’t just derailed his entire thought process.
“Legally? No.” he says, recovering with a smirk. “You’re under NDA. You can’t even mention I exist.”
Your eyes narrow. “Carlos, no one cares that much about you.”
“Ouch,” he says, clutching his chest dramatically.
You shake your head, your expression flat. “Be serious. Is it okay or not?”
He leans back, draping an arm over his chair and studying you with an unreadable expression.
The truth is, he should say no. He should remind you how much he values his privacy, how careful he has to be.
But the thought of you talking about him, to your friends, no less, makes him feel... proud. Like he’s somehow made it onto a list of people who matter to you.
“Yeah,” he says finally, his voice casual. “Go ahead.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
You narrow your eyes, clearly suspicious. “You’re not going to show up at my door with legal threats if I say something stupid?”
“Not unless it’s really stupid,” he teases.
Your unimpressed stare makes him grin wider. “You’re annoying,” you mutter, but your tone lacks any real bite.
“You love me though,” he counters easily.
He watches as your face softens, just for a moment, and something about it makes his heart stutter in a way he’d never admit.
“You’re impossible,” you say, shaking your head.
“And you like it,” he fires back, his voice light, though there’s a trace of sincerity underneath it.
The conversation shifts again, and by the time you glance at your watch, he’s already dreading the inevitable.
“I should go,” you say, reaching for your coffee cup.
“Busy?”
“Not really,” you admit, but you’re already sitting straighter, ready to leave.
Carlos hesitates, leaning forward slightly. “Hey.”
You pause, looking up at him expectantly.
“Call me again tomorrow,” he says, softer this time.
Your brow lifts, a flicker of curiosity crossing your face. “Why?”
He shrugs, fighting the grin threatening to take over. “I like hearing your voice.”
For a moment, you just stare at him, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, you’re about to call him out on it.
But then you roll your eyes, hiding a smile that he doesn’t miss.
“Goodbye, Carlos,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for the screen.
The call ends, and Carlos sits back in his chair, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he stares at the now-empty screen.
Us.
—-
It’s the bimonthly girlfriend meet-up, and Kika’s already locked onto you like a heat-seeking missile.
“So, there’s this guy,” you say casually, swirling your wine like this isn’t about to become the most chaotic conversation of your week.
Her brow arches, her smirk appearing like she’s just been handed premium-grade gossip.
“Oh?” she says, leaning in.
“Yes,” you reply, taking a slow sip from your glass, because wine is courage, and you need a lot of it right now.
“Tell me more,” she says, her tone deceptively sweet, like a predator coaxing its prey closer.
You hesitate. There’s no way you’re telling her the guy in question is Carlos Sainz.
That would be insane. Absolutely unhinged.
One, because it’s Carlos Sainz.
Two, because it’s Carlos fucking Sainz.
“We’ve been
 hooking up,” you say vaguely, hoping to skate by with minimal detail.
Kika narrows her eyes. “Hooking up? Where? I haven’t seen you at the club scene lately, and I definitely haven’t heard from Charles about you sneaking out.”
You blink at her. “Why would Charles know- wait. Are you spying on me?”
“No,” she says breezily, waving a hand. “But Charles knows everything about you. If you were sneaking around Monaco with a guy, I’d know by now.”
Kika tilts her head, studying you. “So if it’s not a local guy
”
She pauses. Then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. Is it a long-distance thing? Is this why you’ve been all ‘mysterious vibes’ lately?”
You sigh, realizing you’re caught. “It’s phone sex, okay?”
Kika blinks. “Phone sex?”
“Yes,” you say, downing the rest of your wine in one gulp. “We’re doing
 phone stuff.”
She hums, sitting back, her gaze calculating. “It’s a famous guy, isn’t it?”
“What?!” you sputter. “How did you- why would you even-”
“Ma’am, look at you.” She gestures at you like you’re an exhibit at the Louvre. “You’re gorgeous. You’re you. Why would you ever settle for phone sex unless it’s, like, some Vogue model or an A-lister who’s too busy jet-setting to see you in person?”
“That’s ridiculous,” you say, trying to laugh her off, but it sounds more like a dying animal.
Her grin turns absolutely wicked, the kind of wicked that makes you instantly regret ever letting her into your life. “Oh, so it is a famous guy. You just gave yourself away. Who is it? Spill.”
“I did not!” you protest, but it’s weak. Too weak.
Kika hums, tapping a finger on her chin as she tilts her head. “Hmm. Let me think. Is it an actor? A musician? Oh my God, is it Harry Styles? Blink once for yes.”
“Kika-”
“Wait!” She gasps, cutting you off and slapping the table. “Is it a prince? Are you pulling a Meghan Markle? Are we about to be royalty by proxy?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glaring at her as a nearby table turns to look at the commotion.
“Okay, okay, fine. I'll behave.”
“But,” she adds, holding up a finger and wagging it at you, “you can’t just stop there. I want details. Stories. Anecdotes. What have you two done other than, like, phone sex? That can’t be it, right? Kick it up a notch. Spice things up.”
Your face burns, and you take a long, slow sip of your drink, desperately trying to buy time. “We
 talk.”
Kika stares at you, unimpressed. “Talk? Oh, please. You’re telling me a man calls you up just to talk?”
You shrug, feigning innocence. “Sometimes.”
Her grin turns sharper. “And the other times?”
You look away, pretending to be fascinated by the texture of the tablecloth.
“Oh no,” she says, leaning in like a predator cornering its prey. “You’re not getting out of this. What does he say? What does he do? Don’t make me guess because I will make it a thousand times worse.”
You groan, your head falling into your hands. “Why are you like this?”
“Because I care about you,” she says sweetly, patting your hand before grinning again. “Now spill. What’s the wildest thing he’s done so far? Flown you out to a private island? Sent you a love letter written in champagne? What are we working with here?”
You hesitate. You know telling her anything will only fuel her chaos, but at this point, it feels like you don’t have a choice.
“Fine,” you mumble. “He, um
 he sent me a
 package.”
You take a long sip of your wine, trying to ignore Kika’s razor-sharp gaze burning into the side of your face.
You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have.
But it’s too late now.
“He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
Kika chokes on her wine. Full-on chokes. She’s sputtering, clutching her chest as her eyes go wide.
Meanwhile, you calmly sip your drink, staring at some random painting on the wall like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen.
“WHAT?!” she finally manages, her voice about three octaves higher than usual.
“I’m not saying it again,” you reply coolly, refusing to meet her gaze.
“He sent you a-” she starts, and then bursts into laughter so loud half the restaurant turns to look at your table.
You shoot her a glare, shushing her. “Could you not announce it to the entire world?”
“Oh my God,” she wheezes, clutching her stomach. “Mr. Mystery sent you a dildo shaped like his cock?!”
You take another sip of wine, your cheeks burning. “It was
 thoughtful.”
“THOUGHTFUL?!” she howls. “He’s out here like, ‘What’s a practical gift? Ah, yes, my dick!’”
“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble into your hands, praying the floor will swallow you whole.
“Not a big- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.
“Kika,” you hiss, kicking her under the table.
“That’s so romantic,” she says, ignoring you entirely. “Forget flowers. Forget jewelry. Nothing says love like, ‘Here’s my dick. In case you miss me.’”
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you kidding? This is the best thing you’ve ever told me,” she says, still grinning like a lunatic.
She leans forward, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Do you
 do you keep it on your nightstand? Like, right next to your lamp? Is it displayed like a trophy? Maybe on one of those little velvet stands?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glancing around the cafĂ© as if someone might overhear this absolute chaos.
Her laughter crescendos, attracting a few curious stares from nearby tables. She waves them off with a flick of her wrist, too far gone to care.
“No, seriously, I need to know. Oh God, imagine if you lose it. Like, it’s just missing one day and you’re crawling around under your couch yelling, ‘Mr. Mystery, where’s your dick?!’”
You groan, your head dropping into your hands. “Can you be serious for one second?”
She sucks in a breath, fanning herself like she’s about to faint. “Okay, okay. Serious. Totally serious. I’m done. Promise.”
You peek at her through your fingers, skeptical. “You sure?”
She nods, biting her lip to stifle another laugh. “Totally. Except
 I have one more question.”
You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling like it might grant you patience. “What now?”
She leans in closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Is it
 accurate?”
You freeze, horrified. “I’m leaving.”
“No, wait!” she cries, grabbing your arm before you can stand. She’s laughing again, her grip on your sleeve shaking with the force of it. “Come on, I’m kidding! Mostly. But seriously. Is it accurate? Like, should we call MythBusters?”
You gape at her, flabbergasted. “Why would I answer that?”
“Because I’m dying to know!” she says, eyes gleaming.
You shake her off and reach for your bag. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re avoiding the question,” she fires back, wagging a finger at you like a smug prosecutor. “Which makes me think it’s very accurate.”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re lucky I haven’t thrown this glass of wine at you.”
“Please,” she scoffs, twirling her straw. “You’d never waste good wine. Now, answer me. Did he measure it himself, or do you think there was a mold involved? Like, did he sit there in some science lab with a team of experts, being all, ‘Make sure you get the angle right!’?”
“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face again.
The two of you quiet down as a waiter approaches your little corner.
It’s quiet for a moment—mercifully quiet.
Kika is vibrating with barely restrained laughter, and you’re praying she doesn’t lose it while he’s standing there.
The waiter sets down your plates, refills your glasses, and gives Kika a quick, confused glance because she’s shaking like a malfunctioning washing machine.
You smile at him—tight, polite, please don’t ask questions, I beg you—and he wisely scurries off.
The second he’s out of earshot, Kika slams her hands on the table, rattling the cutlery. “Let me see it.”
You nearly choke on your own saliva. “What?! No!”
“Why not?” she demands, like this is a perfectly reasonable request.
“Why not? Because we’re in a crowded restaurant, that’s why!” you hiss, clutching your purse like it’s a medieval chastity belt.
She leans forward, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “So you’re saying there’s a non-crowded situation where you’d show me?”
“That’s not what I said!”
She smirks. “Sure, but you didn’t not say it.”
“Kika, I swear to God-”
“Just one peek,” she pleads, like she’s asking for a bite of your dessert. “Under the table. No one will even notice!”
“Under the- what are you, a contraband dealer?” you whisper-yell. “This is not a shady back-alley dildo exchange!”
She grins, undeterred. “So, what does it look like? Is it
 metallic?”
You freeze. “Why would it be metallic?!ïżœïżœïżœ
“I don’t know! Maybe it’s fancy. Maybe it’s, like, a collector’s item.”
“It’s not a lightsaber, Kika!”
She gasps, her hand flying to her chest. “Oh my God. Does it light up?!”
“No!”
“Are you sure?” she presses, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe it has LEDs. You know, for
 ambiance.”
—
Kika’s obsession with the whole thing also refuses to let up. She knows, and worse, she loves knowing.
It starts small: innocent comments here and there, teasing questions she doesn’t expect you to answer.
But over time, her nosiness evolves into full-blown meddling. She’s not just curious. She’s invested.
And one day, it all comes to a head.
Kika cracks.
Or rather, her big mouth does.
“This is too good,” she hisses over the phone like she’s smuggling state secrets. “I can’t keep it to myself any longer.”
You drop your sandwich mid-bite, the mayo squelching onto the table. “What the hell do you mean you can’t keep it to yourself?”
“This secret,” she says, as if it’s physically weighing her down. “It’s eating me alive. I can’t keep it anymore.”
You groan. “Kika, we’ve talked about this. It’s not your secret to keep.”
“Which is exactly why I need to tell someone!” she snaps, like that’s a logical leap. “It’s not mine! It’s yours! I’m just... borrowing it, and now I’m returning it to the universe.”
“That’s not how secrets work,” you deadpan, rubbing your temples.
“I need to tell someone! Please, let me tell Alex,” she begs, her voice desperate, like she’s asking for kidney donation approval.
You choke. You actually choke, sputtering on your words like a broken engine. “Are you insane? Have you lost what little is left of your mind?”
“She’s so cool! She won’t tell anyone, I swear.” Kika’s tone is sunny, like she’s campaigning for Alex to win Best Confidant of the Year. “She loves secrets! She’s a vault!”
“She’s my brother’s girlfriend! My. Brother’s. Girlfriend.” You emphasize each word like you’re explaining calculus to a toddler.
“And a great secret keeper regardless of who she’s dating!” She chirps, undeterred.
“She’s dating my brother,” you hiss, as if saying it will drive the point home in her thick skull, pacing across your room like a caged animal. “Do you not see the problem here?”
“I see no problem,” she says brightly. “Alex is the Fort Knox of secrets. She’ll take this to her grave.”
“She’ll take it to my brother,” you counter, jabbing the air with your finger even though she can’t see you. “And then my brother will take it to my mom, and then my mom will take it to church, and next thing you know, I’m being exorcised for sins of the phone!”
Kika laughs, the kind of laugh that means she’s not taking you seriously at all. “Don’t be dramatic. Your mom would faint.”
“Kika!” you hiss, lowering your voice even though no one else is in the room. “If you tell her, I swear to God, I’ll... I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Call Mr. Mystery and complain about me?” Her grin is practically audible.
“Yes, and he’ll agree with me!” you snap, clutching your phone so tightly it’s a miracle it doesn’t crack. “Because this is not a group project!”
“Okay, okay!” She gasps, wheezing like she just finished a marathon. “I won’t tell her! I swear!”
You pause, narrowing your eyes even though she can’t see you. “Wait. Really?”
“No,” she says flatly, so matter-of-fact you feel your brain short-circuit. “I’m absolutely telling her. She’s going to lose her mind.”
You let out a shriek so loud your upstairs neighbor thumps on the floor in retaliation. “Kika, if you even breathe a word”
“Just picture it!” she interrupts, steamrolling over your protest. You can hear her bouncing on her bed. “I’ll text her right now. Something casual, like, ‘Hey Alex, you’re never going to believe-’”
“Fine!” you snap, throwing yourself onto the bed so hard the mattress squeaks in protest. “Fine, just tell her! But we do it in the next meet-up! I have to be present to keep your unruly mouth shut!”
Kika lets out an unholy squeal, the kind that makes dogs two blocks over start barking. You yank the phone away from your ear, grimacing.
“This is the best day of my life,” she announces, and you can practically hear her smirk.
“This is the worst day of mine,” you counter, dragging a pillow over your face and screaming into it.
“Relax,” she says breezily. You hear the telltale sound of typing. “Alex is going to eat this up. She loves a little drama.”
You lower the pillow just enough to breathe. “This isn’t drama. This is my life unraveling because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“Oh, please. You’re being dramatic,” she says, her tone so casual you almost throw your phone across the room. “It’s not like we're sending the story to Charles. That would be a scandal.”
You sit bolt upright. “Kika, I swear to all that is holy, if this gets back to him-”
“It won’t!” she chirps. “Unless Alex tells him. But she won’t. Probably.”
“Probably?!” Your voice cracks, and you claw at your scalp like you’re trying to yank out the stress by the roots.
“She’s trustworthy! You trust her, right?” Kika says, still typing away.
“No! I don’t trust anyone!” you shout, rolling onto your stomach and pounding your fists into the mattress. “Least of all you!”
Kika laughs so hard she starts coughing. “Oh, you’ll thank me for this one day,” she chokes out between wheezes.
“Unlikely,” you mutter.
“Anyway, gotta go! I’ll let you know if Alex is available next week,” Kika says brightly, and then the call ends before you can respond.
You stare at your phone in silence, a deep sense of dread pooling in your stomach.
Mistakes were made. By you. Specifically by trusting Kika with anything.
—
The restaurant is stupidly fancy, the kind of place where the bread basket comes with a backstory and the waiters judge you if you butter too enthusiastically.
You sit on the terrace, the Mediterranean sparkling behind you like a postcard that refuses to let you forget how expensive everything is.
Your table has a perfect view of the marina, where billionaires are essentially playing a game of “whose yacht is bigger.”
Not that you’re paying attention.
Alex and Kika are too busy ruining your life for you to focus on anything else.
Alex is halfway through her sea bass when you drop the bomb.
She freezes, her knife poised mid-cut, before her hand falls to the table.
Her fork clatters onto the porcelain plate, loud enough to make a few patrons turn their heads.
You wince, sinking lower in your chair.
Across from you, Kika sips her champagne, completely unbothered. She smirks, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
“You’re kidding,” Alex says, eyes wide with disbelief.
Kika doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, she’s not kidding,” she says, swirling her glass lazily. “She’s dead serious.”
You squirm under Alex’s gaze, picking at your lobster ravioli like it might swallow you whole if you wish hard enough. “It’s not a big deal,” you mumble.
Alex snorts, an uncharacteristically undignified sound for someone who normally looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue.
“Not a big deal?” she repeats, her voice rising just enough to make you glance nervously at the tables around you.
“Shut it. People are going to hear,” you hiss.
“Oh, darling,” Kika cuts in, her grin widening. “If people heard, they’d ask for more details. Probably start taking notes.”
Alex ignores her, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table, etiquette be damned.
“You’re telling me you’ve been having phone sex with some elite celebrity and it’s ‘not a big deal?’”
You groan, dragging a hand down your face. “Can we not call it that?”
“What would you prefer?” Kika asks, her eyes practically sparkling. “Verbal intimacy? Oral storytelling?”
“I hate you both,” you mutter.
Alex waves her off, laser-focused on you. “And the
 gift?” she asks, voice dripping with disbelief. “Are we glossing over the fact that he sent you a dildo?”
“It was thoughtful,” Kika offers, deadpan, before taking another sip of champagne.
“Stop helping,” you snap at her.
“I mean, really,” Alex continues, ignoring the interruption. “The man is rich, probably gorgeous to somehow convince you to give him a chance, could maybe have anyone he wants- and he’s doing phone sex with you?”
You glare at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know what I mean,” she says, brushing off your sarcasm. “Why would he go through all this effort unless-” She stops, her eyes narrowing slightly like she’s just cracked the Da Vinci Code.
“Oh my God.”
“What?” you ask, already dreading whatever is coming next.
“That man is in love with you,” Alex declares, her tone final, like she’s just announced a royal decree.
You choke on air, coughing so violently that Kika reaches over to thump your back, more amused than concerned. “He is not in love with me!” you wheeze.
“He absolutely is,” Alex insists, sitting back and crossing her arms.
“That’s a huge leap,” you argue, waving your hands in front of you. “How do you get ‘in love’ from
 from phone sex and-” You gesture vaguely. “Other things?”
Alex doesn’t blink. “He’s a famous athlete, right?”
“Sure,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “So?”
“So,” she says, leaning forward, “he’s settling for phone sex instead of hooking up with someone in person? That doesn’t happen unless he’s in love.”
“It’s not settling!” you argue, flailing slightly. “It’s convenient! We have an NDA; it’s low effort!”
“Low effort?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “More low effort than walking into a club and taking his pick of willing women?”
“Well
 yeah!”
Kika cackles, nearly spilling her drink. “Oh, babe. You really think you’re less effort? That’s adorable.”
You glare at her, but Alex presses on, relentless. “Does he do this with anyone else?”
“How would I know that?” you snap.
“Ask him,” Alex says simply, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world.
“Absolutely not!”
“Oh, come on,” Kika says, grinning. “Just casually drop it into conversation. ‘Hey, Mr. Mystery, quick question: am I your only long-distance dirty talk partner, or is this a group activity?’”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “I’m not asking him that.”
“Why not?” Alex demands, cutting into her sea bass like this conversation isn’t actively ruining your life. “If it’s no big deal, he won’t mind. And if he does mind, well
” She trails off, her smirk infuriatingly smug.
“Then you’ll know he’s in love with you!” Kika chimes in, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Or he’ll think I’m insane,” you shoot back.
Alex shrugs, entirely unbothered. “Either way, it’s good information to have.”
You sit back in your chair, glaring at the two of them as they sip their champagne like this is the most entertaining lunch they’ve ever had.
“You two are the worst,” you mutter.
Kika raises her glass in a mock toast. “To Mr. Mystery and his poor, emotionally repressed heart.”
Alex clinks her glass against Kika’s with a soft laugh. “And to you,” she adds, “the object of his inconvenient affections.”
You consider grabbing their glasses and chucking them into the marina, but that would only prove their point.
Instead, you stab your ravioli with far more force than necessary, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
Mistakes. So many mistakes.
—
You can’t stop thinking about it.
Carlos. In love with you.
The concept is so utterly ridiculous you actually laugh to yourself, out loud, like a complete maniac.
Because Carlos isn’t in love with you.
That’s not how this works. Carlos doesn’t do “love.” Carlos doesn’t do you.
Well, okay, he does you in certain
 contexts, but that’s beside the point.
The point is, Carlos is like a human golden retriever with too much charm for his own good.
He’s nice to everyone. He flirts with everyone. He probably gives everyone those stupid lingering looks that make your knees go weak.
He doesn’t fall in love. And if he did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with you.
But the thought won’t leave your brain. It’s set up camp there, pitching a tent and roasting marshmallows over the fire of your own self-doubt.
And then the photo happens.
It’s a normal day.
Quiet. Peaceful, even.
You’re in bed scrolling through your phone, feeling pretty good about life.
You’ve got coffee on the nightstand, a blanket wrapped around you, and a vague sense of superiority because you haven’t thought about Carlos in at least six hours.
Then his face pops up on your feed.
Carlos, golden and gorgeous, lounging on a yacht like he’s auditioning for a Bond movie. He’s shirtless, of course. Because of course he is. The sun catches in his hair, and his jawline looks so sharp it could cut glass.
You don’t even blink.
You’re too used to this by now. This is just Carlos being Carlos.
But then you see her.
The girl.
She’s pressed up against him, all long legs and glossy hair and perfect teeth. She’s laughing, her hand resting casually, possessively, on his chest like it’s hers to touch.
Your stomach does something horrifying, like it’s trying to fold in on itself.
It’s fine, you tell yourself. This is normal. Carlos is always surrounded by beautiful women. This means nothing.
But the way he’s looking at her

You throw your phone across the bed like it just personally insulted you.
Then you lie back and stare at the ceiling, trying to convince yourself you’re not spiraling.
Spoiler alert: you’re totally spiraling.
Which is how you end up calling Kika and Alex.
Because misery loves company, and also because you’re desperate for someone to tell you you’re not crazy.
“Hello?” Kika answers, far too cheerful for your current mood.
“I need help,” you blurt out.
“What kind of help?” she asks cautiously.
“Emotional help,” you say dramatically. “I’m having an existential crisis.”
“Of course you are,” she says. “Hang on, I’m adding Alex.”
“No, don’t-”
Too late. Alex’s voice cuts in, already exasperated. “What happened now?”
“He posted a photo,” you mumble, already regretting this.
“Okay
” Alex says slowly. “And?”
“And there was a girl in it,” you say, your voice climbing an octave.
“Oh my God,” Kika groans.
Alex sighs. “Let me guess. Hot girl, hand on his chest, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine?”
“Exactly!” you exclaim, sitting up. “How do you always know?”
“Because this happens every time,” he says dryly. “It’s cliche at this point. You're a walking cliche.”
You whine. “He looked
 happy.”
There’s a beat of silence before Kika asks, “Are you drunk?”
“No!”
“Okay, just checking,” she says. “Because you sound drunk. Or insane. Possibly both.”
“I’m being serious!” you say, flopping back onto the bed. “What if he actually likes her?”
“Then he’s an idiot,” Alex says without hesitation.
“You don’t even know who she is!”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “No one’s better than you.”
You groan. “That’s not helpful.”
“Look,” Kika cuts in, her tone gentler now. “You’ve got two options. One, you ask him about it. Two, you do what you always do and overthink yourself into oblivion.”
“Three,” Alex adds, “you block him, move to a remote island, and live off coconuts for the rest of your life.”
“I hate both of you,” you mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Kika says sweetly. “Now, are you going to talk to him or not?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “What if I ask and he laughs at me? Or worse, what if he doesn’t care?”
“Then you’ll know,” Alex says simply.
And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it?
Knowing.
Because right now, as painful as it is, not knowing still feels safer than finding out the truth.
“Thanks, guys,” you say finally.
“Anytime,” Kika says. “Now go stalk his Instagram and cry into your coffee like a normal person.”
“Bye,” you grumble, hanging up.
You stare at the ceiling for a long time after that, the ache in your chest refusing to fade.
—
So, you cut him off.
Not all at once, because that would be too obvious, and God forbid Carlos Sainz think you’re actually affected by anything he does.
No, you do it slowly, carefully, like easing out of a party you didn’t really want to attend in the first place.
At first, it’s just a delay in your replies. Not anything dramatic, just enough to make it seem like you’ve got better things to do than hang on his every word.
When he sends a text, you leave it unread for an hour. Maybe two.
(Okay, fine, sometimes you read it immediately and then stare at your phone for thirty minutes trying not to reply, but that’s beside the point.)
When you do respond, you keep it short. Curt, even. No emojis, no playful banter, just cold, functional sentences.
Carlos How’s your day going?
You Busy
Carlos Busy with what?
You Work
He doesn’t push, which is somehow worse.
You want him to notice, to ask what’s wrong, to demand answers you’re not prepared to give. But he doesn’t.
He just keeps texting you, the same way he always has, like nothing’s changed.
When he asks to call, you tell him you’re busy. Which is technically true, if “busy” includes reorganizing your spice rack and watching sad movies while eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
It’s not immediate, but it’s different.
The rhythm of your conversations shifts, the easy flow replaced by stilted exchanges that feel like wading through molasses.
The worst part is how much it hurts.
Because cutting him off isn’t supposed to hurt you. It’s supposed to make things better. Easier. Less messy.
But instead, you’re walking around like some tragic romantic hero, clutching your metaphorical wounds and waiting for someone to ask why you look so miserable.
You try to distract yourself.
You download a meditation app, but the soothing voice telling you to “release your tension” only makes you think about how Carlos used to tease you for clenching your jaw when you were stressed.
You go out with friends, laughing too loud and drinking too much, but every time your phone buzzes, you can’t stop yourself from hoping it’s him.
It usually is.
Carlos Did I do something
You Just busy
Carlos Are you mad at me
You No
You toss your phone onto the couch and stare at it like it’s personally betrayed you. He’s starting to notice, which is both validating and soul-crushing.
Because if he notices, then maybe, just maybe, he actually cares.
And if he actually cares, then maybe cutting him off isn’t the answer.
But then you remember the photo. The girl. The way he looked at her.
And you remind yourself that Carlos Sainz isn’t yours. He never was.
So you keep going.
You tell yourself it’ll get easier. That eventually, his texts will stop coming, and the ache in your chest will fade, and you’ll finally be free of whatever this is.
But for now, you’re just sad and tired and watching Pride & Prejudice for the third time this week, convincing yourself you’re Elizabeth Bennet and he’s Mr. Darcy, except there’s no grand declaration at the end.
There’s just silence.
—
It's one of those times where you answer Carlos' call so he doesn't think you're actively avoiding him.
You’re stretched out on your couch, half-listening as Carlos narrates the chaos of his day, his voice flitting between amusement and exaggerated frustration.
“
and then they tell me the setup’s wrong, again, so I had to sit there, listening to engineers argue for an hour. An hour! I’m telling you, I deserve a medal just for staying awake.”
“Tragic,” you reply, dry as ever. “Truly, you’re the unsung hero of motorsport.”
“Exactly!” he exclaims, his tone shifting as if you’ve validated some grand injustice. “Finally, someone understands.”
You hear the faint rustle of fabric, the soft creak of leather, and you know he’s probably leaning back in one of those expensive chairs he likes so much, the ones you tease him about.
It’s a scene you’ve imagined a thousand times—so familiar it borders on comforting.
“So,” he says, drawing out the word like he’s gearing up for something. “Guess where I am right now?”
“Let me think,” you say. “Some glamorous location with a ridiculous view and an overpriced minibar?”
“Close,” he says, and you can hear the grin tugging at his words. “I’m in Monaco.”
Your heart stumbles, just a little, just enough to be annoying, but you keep your voice casual. “Oh, the usual playground of the rich and famous. How very you.”
“Hey, it’s practically home,” he teases, and the warmth in his tone makes your stomach twist. “And speaking of home
 aren’t you supposed to be here too? Isn’t that, like, the whole point of being Monegasque?”
You hesitate, just for a beat, but it’s long enough.
“
Wait,” he says, his voice sharpening with suspicion. “You’re not here, are you?”
“I’m in Italy,” you admit, aiming for breezy and landing somewhere closer to forced.
There’s a pause, the kind of silence that feels heavier than it should. “Italy?” he repeats, his voice carefully light, like he’s trying not to make something of it. “What are you doing there?”
“Just am,” you say, shrugging even though he can’t see it.
“Right,” he says slowly, and you can feel the weight of his thoughts pressing through the line.
He doesn’t push it, though, because Carlos is a lot of things, but he’s not the kind of person who asks questions he’s not ready to hear the answers to.
He shifts the conversation after that, steering it back to safer waters.
He tells you about a restaurant he tried, about the ridiculous amount of traffic on his way to the track.
You laugh in the right places, make snarky comments when it’s expected, and for a while, it feels almost normal.
But it’s not.
The photo lingers in the back of your mind like a ghost. Her hand on his chest, his easy grin, the effortless way they fit together.
You thought you could handle it. Thought you could keep things light and easy, pretend that the photo didn’t bother you, that you hadn’t spent an embarrassing amount of time dissecting every pixel like it held some kind of secret truth.
But now, sitting here, listening to him ramble on about his day like everything’s fine, you’re not so sure.
“Hey,” he says suddenly, breaking the flow of his own story. His voice is quieter now, more thoughtful. “You’ve been kind of
 off lately. Is everything okay?”
Your breath catches, just for a second.
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, too quickly.
There’s a pause, just long enough for you to know he doesn’t believe you.
But he doesn’t call you on it. He just hums softly, like he’s letting you have this one.
The conversation winds down after that. He says something about an early meeting, and you use it as an excuse to end the call.
—
Carlos has a suspicion you’re avoiding him.
Or maybe, just maybe, Charles Leclerc has turned into some kind of shadowy mastermind, meticulously coordinating Carlos’s travel schedule just so he can keep you two apart.
It’s ridiculous, sure, but how else do you explain it?
When Carlos is in Monaco, you’re in Italy. When he’s in Italy, you’re in Mallorca. When he’s in Mallorca, you’ve suddenly jetted off to Switzerland, of all places.
It’s like you’ve taken on the role of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” with unsettling precision, a game he didn’t even know he was playing until now.
At first, he tried to laugh it off.
Told himself it was just bad timing, a string of coincidences that would eventually break in his favor.
But now? Now it feels deliberate. Calculated. And the worst part is, he knows you. Knows you well enough to feel the subtle shift in the air between you, like a storm quietly gathering on the horizon.
He’s tried to tell himself he’s overthinking it.
That you’ve just been busy, that your life doesn’t revolve around him and his schedule.
But the excuses are starting to ring hollow, even to his own ears.
The delayed responses to his texts. The way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes when he finally does manage to catch you available for a call.
And now, sitting alone in his Monaco apartment, his phone resting on the coffee table in front of him like a lifeline you’ve left dangling just out of reach, Carlos can’t shake the weight that’s settled in his chest.
You’re pulling away.
The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, sudden and brutal.
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, his hands running through his hair as he stares at the floor.
His heart feels heavy, tangled up in a mess of confusion and hurt and something he doesn’t want to name.
Why? That’s the question that keeps circling back.
Why are you doing this? Why now, when he feels like he’s finally starting to understand just how much you mean to him?
His mind races, replaying every interaction, every conversation, searching for the moment he might’ve pushed you away without realizing it.
Did he say something? Did he not say enough?
“Dios,” he mutters under his breath, his voice thick with frustration.
He doesn’t want to think it, doesn’t want to believe it, but the thought won’t leave him alone: maybe you’ve finally gotten tired of him.
The idea makes his chest ache, a dull, hollow pain that spreads until it feels like it’s consuming him.
He doesn’t want to lose you, doesn’t want to let go of the quiet moments, the shared laughs, the way you make him feel like he can just be for once.
But what can he do? He can’t force you to stay, can’t make you want him if you don’t.
He picks up his phone, his thumb hovering over your name in his messages and sends a message before he chickens out.
Carlos Where are you right now?
You Still hoping for that coffee date, huh?
Carlos Always
You 
Paris
Carlos frowns at his phone, and you can almost hear the mental gears grinding in his head. Paris. Of course, it’s Paris. Because why wouldn’t it be?
Carlos Okay, I’m going there.
Your phone buzzes immediately, the boldness of his response catching you off guard.
You What?
You ARE YOU SERIOUS???
Carlos Yes.
You Carlos, you can’t just drop everything and fly to Paris.
Carlos Watch me.
You stare at your phone, torn between laughing and rolling your eyes. This is insane. You text him back, unsure if you want to be mad or amused.
You This is insane.
Carlos No, it’s determination.
You It’s bordering on stalker behavior.
Carlos Then stop running from me.
You I’m not running!
Carlos You’re in a different country every time I blink. Sounds like running.
You It’s called having a life.
Carlos A life that conveniently never overlaps with mine. Carlos Got it.
You Carlos, I swear to God if you actually come here
He doesn’t reply. The silence settles in, and you think that’s the end of it. Carlos is too sensible to drop everything and fly to Paris, right? Right?
Wrong.
Three hours later, you’re in your hotel room, scrolling through your phone while you regret the third croissant you scarfed down earlier, when you hear a knock at the door.
You frown, setting your phone down. You weren’t expecting anyone.
Another knock, this time more insistent.
Curious, you peek through the peephole. And there he is.
Carlos Sainz.
Standing in the hallway, casually leaning against the doorframe, holding a bouquet of flowers like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Your jaw drops.
You swing the door open before you can think better of it. “What are you doing here?”
Carlos shrugs, flowers in hand. “You said Paris.”
“That wasn’t an invitation!” you hiss, your eyes darting up and down the hallway as if expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind the elevator.
“Seemed like one to me,” he says, unfazed, like he’s the most logical person in the universe. “Besides, I brought flowers. That makes it okay.”
You stand there, staring at him, completely caught between laughing and slamming the door in his face. “This is
 I don’t even have words.”
“‘Thank you’ works,” he suggests, stepping past you as if he has every right to be there, dropping onto the armchair with the ease of someone who’s been invited to stay.
“Excuse me-” you splutter, still holding the flowers, but too stunned to do anything with them.
Carlos stretches his legs out in front of him like he’s planning to stay a while. “Nice room. Cozy.”
“You can’t just-” You gesture wildly at him, still holding the flowers like they’re some kind of shield. “Carlos, this is insane!”
“What’s insane,” Carlos says, his voice slicing through the heavy silence, “is how hard you’ve been avoiding me.”
The words hit you like a sharp slap, cutting through the thin armor you’ve been clinging to.
You wince, his accusation landing squarely on the truth you’ve been trying so desperately to bury.
“I’m not avoiding you,” you say, but even as the words leave your mouth, they feel hollow.
A poor, pathetic attempt to cover up the obvious.
His eyes narrow. “Yes, you are,” he replies, his voice edged with a kind of raw frustration you’ve never heard from him before. “You’ve been avoiding me, pulling away like I’ve done something-”
He leans forward, his knuckles white from how hard he’s clenching them. “Did I do something? Tell me, please.”
You shake your head quickly, your chest tightening. “No, Carlos, you didn’t-”
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice cracks, rising just enough to make you flinch. There’s a tremor in his tone, something that tells you this isn’t just frustration- it’s pain.
Your mind races, heart pounding against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape. You can’t look at him.
You can’t meet his eyes because you know what you’ll see there: vulnerability. A rawness you’re too afraid to face.
“I told you, I’m not avoiding you,” you say again, but your voice wavers. The lie cracks as it leaves your lips.
Carlos exhales sharply, a bitter, humorless laugh escaping him. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? You’re not avoiding me? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like you are.”
His voice lowers, softer now but no less piercing. “You’ve been ignoring my calls, dodging my texts. You won’t even look at me right now.”
He pauses, his voice dropping even further, his words so quiet they’re barely a whisper. “It’s like you’re disappearing right in front of me.”
“I’ve been busy,” you mumble weakly, knowing even as you say it how ridiculous it sounds.
“Busy,” he repeats, dragging the word out like it physically pains him to say it. “Right. Busy. Of course. That’s your excuse? That’s all you’ve got?”
You open your mouth to respond, but he steamrolls ahead, his voice rising in disbelief. “Do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? Like I haven’t noticed you pulling some kind of secret agent disappearing act every time I’m within a five-mile radius?”
“I’m not-”
“Oh, please!” he cuts you off, throwing his hands up dramatically. “When I was in Monaco, you were in Italy. When I was in Italy, you were in Mallorca. When I was in Mallorca, you went to Paris. I thought you cared about the planet!”
“I had a reason!” you defend weakly.
“Oh, sure. Let me guess. You were ‘busy.’” He uses air quotes this time, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Busy doing what? Hiding in the catacombs so I wouldn’t find you?”
“Carlos-”
“No, seriously! Are you Carmen Sandiego? Did you take on a secret job as an international spy and forget to tell me? Because at this point, that’s the only explanation that makes any sense!”
You can’t help it.
A small, nervous laugh escapes you, but it’s swallowed by the look he gives you, a mix of exasperation and something rawer, something vulnerable that wipes the humor from your face instantly.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Why are you doing this? What happened? Did I do something?”
“No!” you blurt out, the word rushing out of you like a reflex. “You didn’t do anything-”
“Then what?” he demands, stepping closer, his brows furrowed. “Why does it feel like every time I try to get close to you, you’re already halfway out the door? What is it? Did I say something? Did I forget something important? Did I-”
“Stop!” you snap, your voice louder than you intended, cutting him off mid-spiral. “You didn’t do anything, okay? It’s me!”
He freezes, his hands hovering in the air like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “What do you mean, it’s you?”
You take a deep, shaky breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Carlos. I can’t keep pretending like this, like we, don’t mean more to me than it should.”
His brows knit together, confusion flashing across his face. “What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” you blurt out, the words tumbling out of you before you can stop them.
Your hands fly to your face, your voice shaking as you add, “Not as a joke. Not as a friend. Not in some ‘haha, Carlos is cute, what if’ kind of way. I’m in love with you, and it’s ruining me, and now I’ve said it, and- oh my God- I’m going to vomit-”
“Wait, what?” Carlos interrupts, his voice a mix of shock and something dangerously close to hope.
“You heard me!” you snap, your hands still covering your face as you pace in frantic little circles. “I’m in love with you, and now I’ve ruined everything, and you’re going to freak out and leave, and then I’ll have to fake my death and move to Antarctica and befriend a penguin colony-”
“Will you stop?” he cuts in, grabbing your arm to stop your pacing. “Just- stop for a second, okay?”
You yank your arm back instinctively, shaking your head. “No, I can’t stop! Because if I stop, I’m going to have to look at you, and if I look at you, I’m going to see the exact moment you decide this is too much, and you walk out of my life forever, and I’m not emotionally equipped for that-”
“Would you listen to me?” he shouts, his voice startling you into silence.
His hands fall to his sides, his eyes locking on yours with a desperate kind of intensity. “I’m not walking out of your life, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Jesus, do you really think so little of me?”
Your lip wobbles, your voice breaking. “You don’t get it. You’ll leave.”
He lets out a laugh. Sharp, exasperated, and a little unhinged. “I’m in love with you, you absolute idiot.”
You freeze. Your brain is refusing to process what he just said. “What?”
“I said I’m in love with you,” he repeats, louder this time, as if yelling the words will hammer them into your skull.
“Have been since the first night, I think. Do you honestly believe I’d fly halfway across the world, lose sleep, and spam you with dog pictures because I don’t love you?”
You stare at him, mouth agape. “You- what?”
“Yes!” he throws his hands up, pacing like he’s been holding this in for years and it’s physically painful to let it out. “God, how do you not see it? I thought I was being so obvious!”
Your brain is scrambling for any coherent thought, but instead, all you manage is: “Then who was that girl?”
Carlos blinks at you, mid-rant. “What girl?”
You fumble for your phone like you’ve been waiting for this exact moment to catch him red-handed.
Opening Instagram with trembling fingers, you shove the screen in his face, pointing at the offending photo. “This girl. The one on the yacht!”
He squints at the screen, then back at you, his brow furrowing.
“That’s my cousin, Marina.”
Your heart stops. “What?”
“My cousin,” he says again, slower this time, as though you might be hard of hearing. “She’s married to a guy named Tomás. I was literally holding her bag while she FaceTimed her kids.”
You gape at him, the ground beneath you threatening to swallow you whole. “Oh.”
Carlos stares at you, his mouth falling open. Then it clicks. “Oh my God. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t-”
“You were ghosting me because you thought I was on a yacht with my cousin?” he demands, his voice climbing into incredulous territory.
“It looked bad!” you squeak, the heat in your face making it impossible to look him in the eye. “I didn’t know she was your cousin! She was all- touchy!”
“She was showing me pictures of her dog!” he cries, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation.
You clutch your head, feeling both humiliated and mildly hysterical. “I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot alive.”
“No arguments there,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair, then fixing you with a look that’s somewhere between amused and exasperated. “You honestly thought I’d just
what? Post my side chick on Instagram for you to see?”
“I didn’t know what to think!” you snap, burying your face in your hands. “I panicked, okay? My brain spiraled!”
Carlos lets out a disbelieving laugh, pacing a tight circle like he’s trying to figure out how he got here. “So instead of asking me, you just
decided to ignore me? For weeks?”
“I said I panicked!” you groan, peeking at him through your fingers, mortified.
He stares at you for a beat, then pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath in Spanish. “You’re lucky I love you, you know that?”
Your heart lurches, but you’re still too mortified to fully process it. “You can’t possibly still love me after this.”
“Oh, I can,” he says dryly, crossing his arms. “But I’m definitely telling Marina about this. She’s going to think it’s hilarious.”
“No!” you cry, lunging forward and grabbing his arm. “Carlos, I swear to God, if you tell your cousin-”
He grins, all smug amusement now, his earlier frustration melting away. “I’ll think about keeping it a secret. On one condition.”
“What condition?” you ask warily.
“You stop ghosting me,” he says simply, his voice softening as his eyes meet yours. “And maybe
start trusting me a little more?”
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your own stupidity pressing down on you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking at the floor. “I really messed this up.”
“Yeah, you did,” he agrees, but there’s no bite to his words. He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look at him. “But you can make it up to me. Dinner tomorrow?”
You nod, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.”
“And for the record,” he adds, smirking, “if you ever ghost me again, I’m showing up with a mariachi band.”
You groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs, but you can’t help the warmth spreading through your chest. Somehow, against all odds, he’s still yours.
---
@lilorose25 @widow-cevans @mderby03 @zyklion @papichulomacy @irisesinthegarden @leclercdream @moonvr @ilovemeni @iamdedsthingz @shwnirwin @softhecreator @claimingharrystigertattoo @5sospenguinqueen @wadupppdylan-blog @waytooobsessedwithlife @weekendlusting
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moonlightwritingf1 · 11 hours ago
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Lando's Obsession | LN4
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âŠč₊ ˚‧₊୚୧₊‧ ˚ ₊âŠč summary ━━━━━━━ Lando has an obsession for Y/N's boobs
âŠč₊ ˚‧₊୚୧₊‧ ˚ ₊âŠč pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader
âŠč₊ ˚‧₊୚୧₊‧ ˚ ₊âŠč word count ━━━━━━━ 3k
âŠč₊ ˚‧₊୚୧₊‧ ˚ ₊âŠč warnings ━━━━━━━ +18, sexual content
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Lando froze for a moment, his cheeks flushing a deep red. He hadn’t expected that. She had always been so reserved, so careful with her words. But tonight? Tonight, she was different. Bolder. And it was driving him wild.
“I wasn’t—” he started, trying to play it cool, but the grin tugging at the corners of his lips gave him away. “Okay, fine. Maybe I was. But can you blame me? That dress is
 distracting.”
Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, exaggerating the way the fabric clung to her curves. “Distracting, huh? You’re lucky I didn’t call you out earlier. Every time you thought I wasn’t looking, there you were, sneaking glances like some lovestruck teenager.”
Lando took a step closer, his confidence returning in full force. “If I remember correctly, you were the one smirking every time you caught me. Almost like you wanted me to look.”
Her breath hitched as he closed the distance between them. The air between them crackled with tension, the kind that made her skin tingle and her heart race. She could feel the heat radiating off him, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with the night air.
“Maybe I did,” she admitted softly, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes flicked down to his lips, then back up to meet his gaze. “Or maybe I just wanted to see how far you’d go.”
Lando’s gaze darkened, and he reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face. His touch was feather-light, but it sent shivers down her spine. “Careful, love. You might regret teasing me like that.”
She tilted her head, her lips curving into a sly smile. “Or maybe I won’t.”
---
The night had started like any other date they’d been on—except it wasn’t like any other date. This was their fourth date, and the tension between them had been building steadily since the first. What had begun as shy smiles and casual conversations had morphed into something far more intense. Something neither of them could ignore anymore.
When Lando had texted her earlier that day—“Be ready by 7. Wear something stunning”—Y/N had felt a thrill run through her. She knew exactly what she was going to wear. A black dress that hugged her curves in all the right places, with a neckline low enough to make Lando’s jaw drop. She hadn’t planned to be this bold, but the sexual tension between them had become too much to resist.
As soon as he’d picked her up, Lando’s eyes had lingered on her chest a fraction too long. She’d noticed—of course she had—but she’d said nothing, only enjoyed the way his gaze kept drifting back to her throughout the evening.
They’d gone to a small, intimate restaurant in Soho, the kind of place where the lighting was dim and the music was soft enough to encourage whispered conversations. Lando had been charming as ever, making her laugh and hanging on her every word. But every so often, his eyes would drop to her cleavage, and she’d catch him mid-glance, her smirk growing wider each time.
After dinner, they’d walked along the Thames, the city lights reflecting on the water. The conversation had flowed easily, but beneath the surface, there was an undercurrent of something else. Something electric. Every brush of his hand against hers, every lingering glance, fueled the fire burning between them.
Now, standing outside her apartment, that fire was threatening to consume them both.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N,” Lando murmured, his voice low and rough. His hand slid down to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “And if I’m being honest, I don’t think I want to stop.”
Her heart pounded in her chest, her breath coming in shallow gasps. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
His eyes searched hers, looking for any sign of hesitation. When he found none, he leaned in, his lips hovering just inches from hers. “Then tell me to leave,” he whispered. “Because if I stay, I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself.”
Y/N’s hands found their way to his chest, her fingers gripping the front of his shirt. “Who says I want you to control yourself?”
That was all the encouragement he needed.
In one swift motion, Lando pressed her against the door, his lips crashing onto hers with a hunger that startled them both. The kiss was messy, desperate, filled with all the pent-up longing they’d been holding back for weeks. Y/N gasped into his mouth, her hands sliding up to tangle in his hair as she kissed him back with equal fervor.
He groaned, his body pinning hers against the door as his hands explored every inch of her he could reach. One hand slid down to grip her thigh, hiking her leg up around his hip. The other found the zipper of her dress, pulling it down slowly, teasingly, as if giving her one last chance to change her mind.
But Y/N didn’t want to change her mind. She wanted this. She wanted him.
She broke the kiss long enough to whisper, “Inside. Now.”
Lando didn’t need to be told twice.
Lando’s lips crashed back onto Y/N’s as he lifted her effortlessly into his arms, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. The hallway of her apartment blurred as he carried her toward the bedroom, their kisses hot and desperate, each one deeper than the last. She could feel the hardness of his body pressed against hers, the way his hands gripped her thighs possessively, as if he couldn’t bear to let her go even for a second.
Her dress had already been halfway unzipped, and as they crossed the threshold of her bedroom, Lando slid it off her shoulders in one smooth motion. The fabric pooled at her feet, leaving her standing in nothing but her lace bra and matching panties. His breath hitched as he took her in, his eyes darkening with desire.
“Christ, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending shivers down her spine. He stepped closer, his fingers trailing up her sides, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. “I’ve been thinking about this all night.”
Y/N’s heart raced as she tilted her head back, meeting his gaze. There was something electric in the air between them, a tension that had been building since their first date—no, since the moment they met. It was finally unraveling, and she felt both exhilarated and terrified by how much she wanted him.
“Prove it,” she challenged, her voice trembling slightly despite her bold words. Her chest rose and fell with her quickened breaths, her skin already tingling with anticipation.
Lando’s lips curved into that cheeky grin she loved so much, the one that always made her weak in the knees. “Oh, I plan to,” he said, his tone dripping with promise. Before she could respond, he closed the distance between them, his mouth claiming hers in a searing kiss that left no room for doubt.
His hands moved to her bra, deftly unhooking it and letting it fall to the floor. Y/N gasped as cool air brushed against her bare skin, but the sensation was quickly replaced by the warmth of Lando’s hands cupping her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples until they hardened under his touch.
“Fuck,” he whispered, pulling back just enough to look at her. His eyes were practically black with need as he leaned down, capturing one nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicked over the sensitive peak, and Y/N moaned, her fingers tangling in his hair to hold him closer.
He alternated between her breasts, teasing and tasting, each lick and suck sending waves of pleasure through her. His free hand roamed lower, sliding over her hip and down to the curve of her thigh before slipping beneath the edge of her panties.
“Lando,” she breathed, her voice ragged as his fingers found her core, already slick with desire. “Please
”
“Tell me what you want,” he urged, his lips still pressed against her skin, his breath hot against her collarbone.
She hesitated for only a moment before whispering, “You. All of you.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. In one swift motion, he lifted her again, carrying her to the bed and laying her down gently. He stood at the edge of the mattress, his eyes raking over her body as he began to undress. His shirt came off first, revealing the defined muscles of his chest and abs, and Y/N couldn’t help but reach out to trace the lines of his torso with her fingers.
“So bloody impatient,” he teased, catching her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm before releasing it. The rest of his clothes followed, and then he was climbing onto the bed, settling himself between her legs.
The weight of him above her, the heat of his body against hers, made her head spin. She reached up to cup his face, pulling him into another kiss as his hips pressed against hers. The feel of him, hard and ready, made her whimper into his mouth, and she arched her back, craving more.
Lando broke the kiss, his lips moving down her neck to her chest once more. “Still think I wasn’t trying hard enough?” he asked, his voice thick with amusement and desire as his tongue circled her nipple.
She laughed breathlessly, her fingers tightening in his hair. “Maybe you’re just getting better at hiding it.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against her skin, and then he was kissing his way down her body, his hands pushing her thighs apart as he settled between them. His eyes locked with hers as he hooked his fingers into her panties, dragging them down her legs and tossing them aside.
“Let’s see how smug you are after this,” he said, his tone playful but laced with an intensity that left her breathless. And then his mouth was on her, his tongue exploring every inch of her with a skill that had her crying out his name within seconds.
Her hands fisted in the sheets as he worked her with relentless precision, his movements slow and deliberate at first, then faster, harder, until she was writhing beneath him, her hips bucking against his face. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, his fingers joined the rhythm, curling inside her and hitting that spot that made her vision blur.
“Lando, I—” she started, but the words disintegrated into a moan as her climax hit, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over her. He didn’t stop, not until she was gasping for air, her body trembling with the aftershocks.
When he finally pulled away, he looked up at her with a satisfied smirk, his lips glistening. “Still think I’m not trying hard enough?”
She shook her head, too overwhelmed to form a coherent response. Instead, she reached for him, pulling him up to kiss him deeply, tasting herself on his lips. When they parted, she whispered, “Get up here. Now.”
With a groan, Lando obliged, positioning himself at her entrance. He paused, his eyes searching hers. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she breathed, lifting her hips to meet him. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
And then he was inside her, filling her completely, and all she could do was cling to him as they moved together, their bodies perfectly in sync. Every thrust, every moan, every whispered word of encouragement drove her closer to the edge again, until she was certain she couldn’t possibly feel any more pleasure.
But then Lando shifted his angle, his pace increasing, and suddenly she was falling, tumbling over that edge with him right behind her, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.
Lando collapsed onto the bed beside her, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Y/n lay there, her body still trembling from the intensity of their shared climax. The room was filled with the sound of their ragged breathing, the air thick with the scent of sweat and sex.
Lando turned his head to look at her, a lazy smile spreading across his face. “You’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but filled with admiration.
Y/n blushed, her heart still racing. She could feel the warmth of his body next to hers, and it made her feel safe, cherished. She reached out, her fingers brushing against his arm. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she teased, though her voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
He chuckled, the sound low and rumbling in his chest. He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him. Y/n nestled into his side, her head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
For a moment, they just lay there, basking in the afterglow of their passion. The silence between them was comfortable, easy, like they had known each other for years instead of just a few months. Lando’s fingers traced idle patterns on her back, sending little shivers down her spine.
“Hey,” he said after a while, his voice soft but filled with curiosity. “Can I
 play with your tits?”
Y/n looked up at him, surprised by the question but also intrigued. There was something about the way he asked it—so casually, yet with a hint of mischief—that made her stomach flutter. She smiled, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Yeah,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “You can.”
His eyes lit up, and he shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look down at her. His free hand moved to her chest, his fingers lightly brushing over her skin. He traced the curve of her breast, his touch gentle but deliberate.
She closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of his hands on her. Every touch sent a wave of pleasure through her body, making her skin tingle with anticipation. His fingers circled her nipple, teasing it until it hardened under his touch.
”God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with awe. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her breast before taking her nipple into his mouth.
Y/n gasped, her back arching involuntarily as his tongue flicked over her sensitive flesh. The sensation was electric, sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to her core. She tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him close as he continued to tease her.
Lando alternated between soft kisses and gentle sucks, his hands roaming over her body, exploring every inch of her. He seemed determined to memorize her, to learn what made her tick, what made her moan.
“Lando,” she breathed, her voice trembling. “That feels
 amazing.”
He pulled away slightly, looking up at her with a smirk. “Good,” he said, his voice teasing. “Because I’m not done yet.”
He moved to her other breast, repeating the same slow, sensual torture. Each flick of his tongue, each gentle nip of his teeth, sent her spiraling further into a haze of pleasure. She could feel herself growing wet again, her body responding to his touch like it was second nature.
As he continued to play with her breasts, his other hand drifted lower, sliding between her thighs. She gasped as his fingers found her slick folds, his touch light but insistent. He teased her clit, circling it slowly, drawing out every bit of pleasure he could.
“You’re so responsive,” he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. “I love how much you enjoy this.”
She moaned, her hips bucking against his hand. “Lando, please,” she begged, her voice shaky. “Don’t stop.”
He didn’t. His fingers continued to move, his pace increasing as he felt her body tighten around him. Her breath came in short, shallow gasps, her entire being focused on the sensations he was creating within her.
And then, just as she thought she couldn’t take anymore, she felt it—the sudden tightening in her abdomen, the rush of pleasure that threatened to overwhelm her. She cried out, her body convulsing as she came hard, her nails digging into his shoulders.
“That’s it, baby,” he coaxed, his voice rough with desire. “Let go.”
When the waves of pleasure finally subsided, she collapsed back onto the bed, completely spent. Lando pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she caught her breath. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his fingers still lightly stroking her skin.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his concern evident.
She nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. “More than okay,” she replied, her voice still shaky. “That was
 incredible.”
He grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “Good. Because I plan on doing that a lot more often.”
She laughed, the sound light and carefree. “I think I can handle that.”
They lay there for a while longer, wrapped up in each other’s arms, content to just be together. The world outside their bubble seemed far away, irrelevant. In that moment, nothing else mattered—just the two of them, lost in each other.
Eventually, Lando broke the silence, his voice soft but curious. “Do you ever think about
 what this could be? Us, I mean.”
Y/n looked up at him, her heart skipping a beat at the seriousness in his tone. “Sometimes,” she admitted, her voice quiet. “But it scares me. I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
He reached up, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “You won’t ruin anything,” he said firmly. “If anything, I think we’re just getting started.”
She searched his eyes, finding nothing but sincerity there. It was overwhelming, the depth of emotion she saw in him. But it also gave her hope, a tiny spark of belief that maybe, just maybe, she could let herself fall for him.
“Maybe you’re right,” she whispered, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Maybe we are.”
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ofbatsandballads · 2 days ago
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please take this. I made myself cry writing it and I have nothing to say except that putting ya’aburnee and darling by halsey on my jason playlist was a brutal choice. also look up flower language if you want additional feelings.
There’s so many things you want for Jason Todd.
You want him to get a good night’s sleep for once. You let him close his pretty seafoam eyes and lay his head in the crook of your neck as you scratch gently at his scalp. It always calms him down, grounds him in the here and now. Your arms around him, your fingers carding through his hair, the rise and fall of your chest that’s synced with his–it all reminds him that he’s safe, that he’s home. You want that feeling to follow him into his dreams, to let him find true rest. So when his body goes tense and his breathing gets labored, you hold him closer and hum gently into his ear until whatever haunts him in his sleep is chased away by the comfort you bring.
You want to make sure he’s protected. You wish you could deflect every hit, blade, and bullet away from his body. You wish he would see his body as something worth protecting. He would stop if you asked, would settle into a normal life as best as he could. You would never ask because to do so would be to deny the part of him you love most: his heart that beats to help others. So you protect him in the ways that you can. You stitch cuts and treat burns, you mend his jackets and help clean his guns. More than anything, you guard his peace of mind like it’s the most valuable thing in the world. You’re never cruel to him, never scream vicious words or toss him out into the cold night. You call Bruce and thank him for the first edition Jane Austen novels that arrived on your doorstep on August 16th when Jason just
can’t. You let him grip your hand brutally tight under the table when you go to the manor for Thanksgiving for the first time. And when it gets really bad? When he feels the burning of green waters that breathed life into him that he didn’t want, when hideous laughter echoes in a place it’s never been? You do something no one has ever done for him. You wait. You stay. You stay by his side until he can breathe again, until dawn breaks and he can see the light again. And always, always you, haloed in it like an angel he doesn’t think he deserves. He does.
You want him to have a good cup of hot chocolate. He told you about it once when he came home after a long winter patrol. Half delirious from exhaustion, he reminisced about how Bruce would make them both a cup of hot chocolate after particularly rough or successful patrols in December. How this specific hot chocolate had no equal—even Alfred couldn’t replicate the richness and warmth. You noticed the fondness in his voice, the longing so intense that it still makes your heart ache for him. So you do some light stalking and hunt down Tim Drake, demand that he give you the information you want or else you’ll disclose how he really lost his spleen to Bruce (why he was dense enough to tell Jason, you’ll never know). And that is how Bruce Wayne, billionaire philanthropist single father and the Batman, receives an email with the subject line “URGENT: Recipe Request” that reads as follows:
To whom it may concern,
I have been made aware that you have a remarkably compelling hot chocolate recipe that is hitherto unparalleled by cafes, franchises, and butlers alike. I am emailing you to inquire about my being sent this recipe post-haste. This is less a request than a demand. I will do my best to ensure that you, at some point in time not specified (it will take great effort on my part), are able to witness the consumption of the hot chocolate by the individual that will be receiving the product of the recipe.
Best regards,
Someone who loves your son.
Bruce sends the recipe the second he receives the email. He has to sneak his phone under the conference table at the Wayne Enterprises board meeting to do it, but he still manages to reply in two minutes and forty-seven seconds. And you make good on your promise. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jason shine as brightly as he does that Christmas, lit up by the lights on the twelve foot tree as he sips his hot chocolate from the same red mug that’s been sitting in the kitchen cabinet since he last drank from it. The matching black mug is clasped in the hands of the hot chocolate connoisseur himself, who smiles softly like the magic of the season has returned to his life for the first time in ages.
You want him to heal. It’s a big ask; you know that. But you’ve never been one for giving up hope, and if anyone can manage to achieve the impossible, it’s Jason. So you tell him it’s a great idea when he jokes about getting a therapist. You wait for him in the car the first time he goes and you let him open up to you in his own time when he comes out of the appointment body tight as a bowstring and eyes bloodshot. You watch quietly and celebrate the little victories you see him win. He can call his father first now; he doesn’t do it often, but he can. He can talk to his younger brother without hating his hands and the blood that’s been spilled on them, without going out on patrol and intentionally letting all the worst hits make contact. He can go out to lunch with his older brother and his youngest, can laugh with them over that ridiculous thing Bruce did at a gala once to make them all laugh. He can bear his birthday a little bit better now, can accept the cake you bake and actually make a wish when he blows out the candles. But you’ll never know about the moment that you start to get what you want. Jason goes to visit his own grave on the anniversary of his death and finds a bouquet of red carnations, baby’s breath, and honeysuckle with a note in your handwriting that reads “Someone told me once that you were magic, that that was the best thing about you. I think it’s far more important that you were loved. I don’t know what you could’ve been. I don’t wonder about it like those that loved you did because all I know is who you became. He’s wonderful. He’s still magic. I think you’d be proud of him. I’ll do my best to take care of him for you.” He sits there for an hour in tears. Then he takes one bud of each flower and the note, goes home and presses them into the pages of his favorite book. He holds you in his arms in bed that night and feels, for the first time in a long time, a sense of peace down to his very bones.
You want—above all else—Jason Todd to feel loved. You want him to feel so cherished and wanted that he cannot possibly look at himself without realizing that he is something precious, something beloved. So you tell him that you love him and you accept his warm embrace as his way of saying it back. You make him chocolate chip cookies and sneak one into the pocket of his tactical pants when he goes on patrol (they’re soft, they don’t get crunched when he’s thrown from a roof). You read his favorite books to understand what he’s saying when he goes off on tangents about class and social hierarchy and how they governed life in the 19th century. You trace his scars and kiss away his tears when he can’t believe that he could be transformed from a being marred by brutality into a man revered with gentleness. You will love him until the day you both die. You will love him in death, until whatever atoms made up you and him come together again. You will love him until everything that ever is or ever was ceases to be in a supernova of light. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll love him in whatever is born after.
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souljahwwitch · 1 day ago
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FUCKED UP! Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*:
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Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: hc’s about thanos x best friend reader who’s just as energetic as him <3
(no squid game!)
(kind of fwb like in my every other best friend! reader fic 😔)
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Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: choi su-bong (or thanos as he forces you to call him) have been best friends since diapers, both of your fathers being filthy rich, they were connected to the hip, and so you two are.
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: one out of many things you two have in common is the pure hatred towards your fathers, you two always found a way to fuck up some family dinners or country club parties—and no one ever suspected a thing.
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: no one suspected you, because how could y/n l/n, the oh so precious daughter of f/n l/n ever be so cruel? you were too pretty for that, too smart—no one actually knew you for who you are except thanos.
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: they suspected thanos, of course they did—but he didn’t really care, only thing that mattered is having fun with you—like taking hits from the bong right before your father and his father and some prissy guests wait for both of you to come down to some boring dinner.
you sat there—trying not to burst out laughing at random things, thanos was beside you, gripping your thigh to stop you—and himself from laughing
“ sweetheart, you’ve gotta stop looking like your face is about to explode.” thanos mumbled beside you—and that just made you wheeze, he couldn’t hold it anymore also—so you laughed it out while making an excuse you have to go to a very important business walk!! (you two don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.)
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: being his best friend means sneaking out at two am for whatever reason, you two were always in your pajamas too—even though you two are the same in personality—the style was a bit different.
“c’mon princess, jump i’ll catch you!” he whisper-yelled, between laughs because—why tf are you wearing a hello kitty pjs
“i can’t, asshole! what if you drop me-“ you hissed, sitting at your window, looking down at him.
“now don’t be dumb, i always catch you, angel, you know that.” he said cockily right before you sighed and jumped, he catches you, of course, but he doesn’t let you live it down
“see, dumbass! i told you!”
“fuck off >:(!!!!”
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: being his best friend means you can come to him for everything and he can come to you, your family were always on some business trips, so you two were often taking care of eachother.
and that’s how you find yourself in this position, pouring rain, walking from your mansion to his because you got a fever, and your dad was on a business trip with his dad—and he didn’t left you any over the counter medicine, yeah, he left you shit ton of money, but pharmacies don’t work at 4am.
you knocked on his door as if you were dying, you were shivering, you were soaked, and relief washed over you as you heard a voice call out “who the fuck in this time of night-“
when he opened the door and saw you there, sniffling and shivering, teary eyed—he knew you had a fever, fevers were hard on you, so he knew exactly how you looked.
“woah, woah—easy there, it’s alright sweetheart c’mere” he mumbled
“but-but you’ll get sick if you touch me-“
“what? you think some cold will knock my ass over like it does to you, stop being a brat and c’mere.”
Â°â€§đŸ«§â‹†.àłƒàż”*: being his best friend meant spending late nights in your girly room, laying on your bed as you two look at eachother—high or not, it always ended up like this—his hands on your waist, and you being stubborn first five minutes before you let him kiss you
“thereee she is..”
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rafeysbangs · 1 day ago
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êȘ†à§Žđ“Č àč‹àŁ­Â  àŁȘ ˖↷ ex!bf!rafe sneaks into your room late at night...
warnings ; MDNI !!, ex!bf!rafe, soft!rafe i guess, oral f. receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, rafe calls reader baby, creampie, aftercare ! yippee
notes ; phew... enjoyyy !
the cool night air swept through your open balcony door, carrying the distant hum of cicadas. you were curled up in bed, trying to focus on the book in your hands, when the faint scrape of shoes against metal made your heart leap.
"rafe?" you whispered harshly, your pulse quickening as his familiar frame hauled itself over the edge of the balcony.
"don’t freak out," he said quickly, holding his hands up as if to calm you. his hair was a mess, his eyes wild, and he looked more desperate than you’d ever seen him.
"are you insane? you can’t be here, especially not at this hour," you hissed, glancing nervously at your door.
but rafe wasn’t listening. he crossed the room in two long strides, his voice cracking as he said, "i had to see you. i can’t- i can’t do this without you."
you folded your arms, trying to stand your ground, even as your chest tightened at the raw edge in his tone. "we broke up, rafe. i broke up with you. and you know why. i can’t keep pretending it doesn’t kill me every time i see you flirting with someone else."
"i wasn’t-" he started, but you cut him off with a sharp look.
"don’t lie to me. i saw you. over and over again. it’s too much, rafe. i couldn’t do it anymore."
his hands raked through his hair, his frustration evident. "it wasn’t what you thought, i swear. i’m... i’m a mess without you, okay? i’ve been losing my mind since you left. no one else matters- no one but you. i’m obsessed with you, and i’ll prove it. i’ll do whatever it takes to make it right."
"rafe," you began, your voice softer now, but he stepped closer, his hands gripping yours like his life depended on it.
"it’ll never happen again. i swear on everything. just... just give me one more chance," he pleaded, his blue eyes locking onto yours, filled with a vulnerability that made your heart ache.
you tried to resist, tried to remind yourself why you ended things, but the way he looked at you, like you were his entire world, made it nearly impossible.
"i don’t know if i can trust you," you said quietly, your voice trembling.
"you can," he said, his voice steady. "i’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if i have to."
before you could argue further, his lips were on yours, cutting off your words in a kiss so desperate, so full of longing, that it left you breathless. your resolve crumbled as his hands cupped your face, pulling you closer.
the kiss deepened, his lips trailing to your jaw and down your neck as your back hit the bed. he hovered over you, his breath hot against your skin as he murmured your name like a prayer.
your fingers tangled in his hair as his lips travelled down your body, heat pooled in your lower stomach watching him grow closer to the waistband of your tiny pyjama shorts.
he stopped there, slowly littering kisses as he looked up at you, you chewed at your bottom lip as your eyes were stuck on his, "rafe..."
"i'll make you feel good baby... don't worry" he whispered against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. his course fingers connected with your clothed pussy, slowly rubbing circles to make you squirm.
he grinned when he saw you twitch at his touch, your clit aching from the lack of direct contact. as if he could read your body, he pulled your shorts to the side, now faced with soaked panties staring back at him.
rafe sighed gratefully, "you're so soaked already, god you're perfect" he mumbled. his long fingers traced your slit and he chuckled a little to himself before pulling your panties to the side too.
without warning, his mouth connected with your wet cunt, sloppy kisses and flicks of his tongue made your eyes roll back before he slid a finger through your folds again. he tapped at your aching hole before sliding a finger in, watching your face contort as you got used to the welcome intrusion.
you groaned, "god-" rafe's smirk perking up against your heat, he came up for air for a second, "rafe's fine baby.."
you threw your head back as he licked a stripe down your pussy, grinning as he slid another finger inside, curling them before mercilessly pumping them in and out.
one thing leads to another, you're bent over the bed, rafe's cock bulging out of your stomach as his hips snap against your ass. a loud whine escapes your lips as he's rearranging your guts. your tight walls clamping desperately around his cock as your ass bounces with every thrust.
his tip brushes your cervix as he thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and flipping you over mumbling, "need to see your pretty face.."
he shoves your body further onto the bed before climbing over you with his classic smirk. your breathing ragged as your eyes locked with his, he tapped his cock on your pussy before dragging it through your folds. he knew the teasing drove you crazy, your eyebrows cinched together as his ego grew.
a pornographic moan escaped your lips as he slid in again, rolling his hips against yours he pumped his cock at a heavenly pace. your nails left crescent shaped indents as you gripped on rafe's arms, the pleasure sending the both of you into overdrive.
rafe cursed as his thrusts grew sloppy, the way your gummy walls were squeezing him made him dizzy, his release creeping up on him. you too could feel a familiar coil tightening in your stomach, unsurprised at the discovery that rafe was the only one to be able to make you cum, even when you're technically broken up.
he lifts a hand and connects it with one of your tits, his tongue darting between his lips as he massaged the fat, your nipple between his fingers. you whimpered as his cock kissed your cervix before finally you felt the coil snap, your orgasm overpowering you.
the way your pussy clenched rafe's cock as you finished around him caused him to groan gutturally, spilling his release into your sopping hole. he collapsed on top of you, littering your neck and cheeks with kisses as he heavily breathed.
"fuck.. i love you baby" he said finally before getting up and slowly pulling out, his release leaking from you a little. he grinned at the sight and pumped to fingers into your pussy, pushing his cum back inside you. "i'll get us a wet towel" he mumbled, walking towards your bathroom after kissing you on the forehead.
taglist ; @rafegetinmybed @doeletteprincess ( feel free to ask to be added! idm! )
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fl3shm4id3n · 2 days ago
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could you do a fic where thanos finds out fem reader self-harms?? or like he notices fresh scars 😭😭 make it fluffy/ or angst, and do whatever u want
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ɮᮏᮛ ᎛ʜᎇ áŽ€ÉŽêœ±áŽĄáŽ‡Ê€
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đ’đźđŠđŠđšđ«đČ: 𝐘𝐹𝐼 đ°đžđ«đž đ§đžđŻđžđ« 𝐠𝐹𝐹𝐝 đžđ±đ©đ«đžđŹđŹđąđ§đ  đČđšđźđ« 𝐞𝐩𝐹𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐧𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 đšđ§đ„đČ 𝐰𝐚đČ 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 đČ𝐹𝐼 𝐝𝐱𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛đČ đĄđźđ«đ­đąđ§đ  đČđšđźđ«đŹđžđ„đŸ. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 đźđ§đ­đąđ„ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐹𝐬 đ­đšđšđ€ 𝐧𝐹𝐭𝐱𝐜𝐞 𝐹𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 đŸđ«đžđŹđĄ 𝐜𝐼𝐭𝐬.
ᮘᮀÉȘʀÉȘÉŽÉą: ᎛ʜᎀɎᎏꜱ (ᎄʜᎏÉȘ êœ±áŽ‡áŽœÉŽÉą-ʜʏ᎜Ɏ) x ꜰᎇᎍ! ʀᎇᎀᎅᎇʀ
Tw: SENSETIVE TOPIC, talks about self harming/cutting, worried Thanos, talks about substances/drug abuse, swearing, comfort at the end.
Masterlist
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You've managed to sneak a blade into the games, you knew how to hide them without them getting spotted. Every bathroom break you'd go to, you always gave yourself a small cut, whether it was on your thigh or arm. You had stopped harming yourself, but your debts and the stress that came it, made you harm yourself again. Even more since you've been playing these games. You didn't want to die, you wanted to go home. But you were prevented from leaving since people wanted to continue playing and add more money to the piggy bank. The stress was killing you, the cuts became more frequent, you had began to harm yourself under your covers when the lights went out.
After the mingle game, you were anxious. Even worried. You couldn't help but fidget your hands. What if the next game was even more deadly than the last. What if you got killed? That made you even more anxious. You continued to fidget your hands, every now and then your caress your fresh cuts on your wrist. You wanted to go to the bathroom badly, desperate to do a cut just to ease your nerves. Thanos then approached you and leaned his body against the wall. "Why are you here alone?" He couldn't help but ask, you looked up at him. Still anxious. Thanos tilted his head to the side. "You're a shy one huh?" He asked. "Come on. Let's go and make you some friends." He said, grabbing a hold of your of your wrist, you then let out a painful hiss.
Thanos looked at you, both confused and worried. "What? Did I hurt you?" He asked, he then looked down at your wrist and noticed something. He didn't hesitate and began to pull the sleeve of your jacket up. "No, don't-" You tried to say, but it was late. Your sleeve was pulled up. Thanos looked at your arm. Seen the many scars and fresh cuts. "What the fuck are these?" He asked, he sounded angry. All you could do was look down at the ground, ashamed.
Next thing you were. You were in the bathroom with Thanos. He was cleaning up your wounds with the water from the silk. It was quiet, very quiet. The tension was obvious. "Why do you do it?" Thanos asked, but you didn't respond. Thanos then grabbed a paper towel and began to clean the water off your arm. "You do know this can kill you? What if you were to cut a veil and you bleed to death? Then what?" He asked, still upset. "What about you? You take drugs as if they're candy. Drugs can kill you too ya know." You said, almost defensive.
"This isn't about me, it's about you. How did you even sneak a blade in here? How did they not take it away with your stuff." He wondered. You went quiet again. Not wanting to say a word. Once he was finished cleaning your cuts, he pulled your sleeve down. He then held out his hand. "Give me." He demanded, you looked at him confused. "Give you what?" You asked. "Don't play dumb, give me the blades. Now." He said, more demanding. As much as you didn't want to, you did. You gave him the small razor blades, placing them on his hand. "All of them." He said, you sighed. Then reached into your mouth, under your tongue and carefully took out the last one. And placed it in his hand.
Thanos then went over and threw the blades in the toilet and flushed them. You just stood there, still ashamed. He made sure that they all flushed down. He then walked over to you and looked at you. "Don't do that shit again you hear?" He said, almost scolding you like a child. You didn't respond, you just kept your head down. Thanos then placed his hands on your shoulders and leaned down a bit to try to look at your eyes. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. You hurting yourself won't solve anything." He said, then he pulled you into a tight hug. "You are cared for. You are loved." He said as he hugged you. You didn't really know him, yet he was here acting like you have been friends for decades. He then pulled away and looked at you. "Stick with me okay? You don't have to be alone in this okay?" He said, but before you could respond, he pulled you into a tight hug again. Maybe that's what you needed, someone to talk to. You slowly hugged him back. Happy to know that someone is willing to help you.
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peachesofteal · 2 days ago
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sugar daddy az i’m going feral đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜©
He’d be so bad at it too. Shows up outside Ritas when you’re leaving and scares the shit out of you but “I bought you a new pair of shoes, for work. So your feet don’t hurt as bad.” How he knows your feet hurt, you have no idea, and he doesn’t mention the shadows practically living in your house now, keeping tabs on every single breath you take. Appears on your doorstep one morning and says he will walk you to work- “that’s not necessary”
“It’s not optional” He just keeps pace at your side and doesn’t say a single word, and you catch him sneaking long glances at you, before looking away. Someone screeches along the way and he practically throws you into a stone wall, wings flared with you at his back.
It’s a child, chasing a ball, and his cheeks turn a little pink with embarrassment.
It’s weeks of this. Lurking, gifting, stilted conversations and long looks before he finally touches you, settles a giant hand on the small of your back. He must decide he likes it, because now everywhere you go it’s there, applying pressure in certain points to steer you in specific directions. “I know where I’m going”
“No. I know where you’re going”
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cognitiveoverload · 2 days ago
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A temporary goodbye (Front Man / Hwang In-Ho x reader)
summary: The first game is about to begin, and the Front Man needs to talk to his right hand man - who happens to be a little more than that.
tags: secret relationship, established relationship, fem!reader in mind
note: I had this scene in my head and just had to write it.
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You’re standing next to the Front Man in the control room in silence, patiently waiting for his orders as always. There’s a lot going on in your head, so it’s not a surprise that you find yourself stealing a glance at him more and more often, because he’s the reason why you’re a little distracted today. This is the first day of the games, and while normally it’s a routine task, this year things are different. Everyone can feel it, but very few know the reason.
“I’ll watch the first game in my room,” he suddenly announces, and before you could react, he walks away. You let out a sigh under your mask, disappointed that you can’t talk to him before he springs into action, but then he calls back, his voice cutting through the silence. “Bunny, with me.”
The mask luckily hides the wide grin that appears on your face upon hearing him say this. You were supposed to have a proper code name, but he decided that Bunny suited you more, which is why you began to use it, and he even got you a bronze rabbit mask that matched his own in style. As usual, you follow him without a question, passing by the staff members who are preparing for the first game.
In his private room, the Front Man sits in the armchair and pours himself a drink, and eventually he takes off his mask too, feeling comfortable and safe enough to let it go temporarily. You can feel your heart beating in your throat as you wait for him to show any sign that he remembers you’re there. Sometimes he gets so lost in his job that you have to remind him of your presence.
But not this time. Now he clears his throat and raises his hand to signal you to go closer. “Say it,” he orders, although his voice is gentle, as it is every time he talks to you. 
Since you’re obedient enough, you pad closer and stop by his side, a small smile creeping on your lips when you look at him. Four years. You’ve been working together for four years, but he only took off his mask around you two years ago. This was his way of showing his trust, something you truly appreciated. 
“Take off the mask, we’re alone.” He finally looks up at you, a faint smirk visible as he watches you follow his order. Once it’s placed on top of his, he sneaks an arm around your waist and pulls you into his lap. “So? What’s on your mind? I can see something’s bothering you.”
Letting out a long sigh, you wrap an arm around his shoulder and lean in to give him a tentative kiss. “Are you sure about this? Joining the game, I mean,” you clarify.
In-ho lets out a quiet, humorless laugh. “You know perfectly well why I’m doing that. But it’s okay, you don’t have to worry,” he assures you as he rests his hand on your thigh, his fingers digging into your skin to ground you. Because he knows you. He knows you’re spiraling, he knows you think something bad will happen, which always kicks your brain into overdrive. 
“If you don’t get out in time, I’ll be stuck babysitting the VIPs,” you say with a pout.
“You’d be fine.” When you give him a sceptical look, he kisses you again, and he even moves his hand closer to your inner thigh. The moment a soft moan escapes your lips, though, he stops. “Since when do you doubt me?” he wonders, his eyes examining your face to see the reaction.
Shaking your head, you rest your forehead against his. “I don’t doubt you, I’m just
 Look, I know you can protect yourself, and you thought of everything, but we don’t know what he’s planning. He’s a ticking time bomb in there,” you explain. 
“Keep an eye on the team while I’m in the game. Everything’s supposed to go smoothly, but if something happens
 take care of it.” 
You nod without hesitation, after all, that’s why you’re here. That’s why you became his right hand man. What’s happening between you–the stolen moments, the shared life back home when you’re not busy preparing for the next games–is a secret you’re keeping to yourselves. You’re the only ones who should know about it, no one else. It’s personal, and if anyone knew about this connection, they could easily use it against him. 
In the beginning, you tried to resist the pull, you tried to escape his gravitational field, but then In-ho made you understand that it was okay, that you could make this work. He would make sure you can make this work. By now, you’re sure he would go to great lengths to protect you, he would get rid of anyone who ever dared to even look at you the wrong way. 
The moment is ruined when you hear the instructions of the first game, a sign that it has begun. You both turn to the screen to watch it, but his hand is still teasing you, even if it’s nothing more but a subconscious movement. The comfortable silence between you is based on the deep understanding of each other, but you’re a little startled when he speaks up, not bothering to look at you. 
“I love you, Bunny, never forget that,” he says quietly, as if he was telling this to himself. 
A warm smile crawls on your lips. “I love you too.”
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xhazzz · 3 days ago
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Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader
Strawberry-grilled cheese
warnings: make out, kissing, nudity (not explicit smut), coursing
summary: first night together
a/n: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LENGUAGE so feel free to correct me if there’s anything wrong :)
masterlist || request’s are open
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READER’S POV:
The past few weeks had felt like a dream. Jake and I had been seeing each other almost every day—going to the movies, having dinner at home, spending Friday nights at The Hard Deck with the gang, and even sneaking in visits to the base when I brought lunch to my dad. Nat teased us constantly, saying we looked like a high school romance.
“So, are you finally going to spill the tea?” my friend asked, raising an eyebrow. We were chatting comfortably on one of the bar’s couches while the guys were betting on who could beat Hangman at darts. “Is Hangman as good in bed as he brags?”
“God, Phoenix,” I laughed, blushing. “We haven’t even slept together
”
“What?!” she laughed, clearly shocked. “Respect, girl. You’ve got Hangman eating out of the palm of your hand, and he’s completely celibate.”
“Stop,” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a fry from the table. “It’s not like we don’t want to, but we always get interrupted. Last Friday, I almost stripped in front of Coyote.”
“Wasn’t he supposed to be on a date with the girl from the control tower?”
“He was supposed to be,” I sighed, glancing at my boyfriend as he grabbed another round of beers from the bar. “Luckily, Jake managed to cover me with his uniform.”
“Damn, girl
” Nat chuckled.
“Freakin’ Hangman,” Rooster said as he joined us with our drinks. “The idiot made me lose fifty bucks.”
“It’s not my fault you suck, Bradshaw,” Jake shot back, sliding into the seat next to me and draping his arm over my shoulders. “I told you I’m the best there is, didn’t I, Y/N?”
“Oh, you wish, babe,” I laughed, playfully hitting his chest. “You definitely need an ego check.”
Bradley and Nat booed him, laughing, while Jake pretended to be offended.
“What I need is a quiet night with my girl, without any interruptions,” Jake murmured, leaning into my ear and kissing the top of my head and then my chin.
“You two are disgusting,” Roo said, throwing a fry at Jake. “Get a room.”
“I think we will,” I said, settling into my seat and patting Jake’s leg.
“Hell yeah!” Jake exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing my hand to pull me along.
“Are you serious?” Nat asked, raising an eyebrow. “Right now?”
“Right now,” Jake said, grabbing his jacket. “Hey, Coyote, you’d better not come home tonight. I’ll change the locks if I have to.”
“All yours, man,” his friend replied with a wink, clearly occupied with the blonde sitting next to him.
I let go of Jake’s hand for a moment and walked over to Penny at the bar.
“Penny, can you put it all on Rooster’s tab?” I grinned. This was payback for getting free drinks all week in exchange for my number.
“You got it, sweetheart,” she smiled, glancing at Jake and me. “If I see your dad, I’ll let him know not to wait up.”
—————————————————————————————————————————————
As soon as we got to Jake’s apartment, he pinned me against the door, cradling my face and kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Our lips fit together perfectly.
“Damn, you taste so good,” Jake murmured, barely pulling away. “You taste like strawberries.”
He began leaving soft kisses and gentle bites along my jaw and neck as I started unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.
“And you smell amazing, sweetheart,” he added, sliding his hands down my hips, squeezing my ass, and lifting me by the thighs so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “You smell like vanilla.”
I let out a laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carried me to the bedroom. He gently laid me down on the bed and pulled back just enough to look at me. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, and Jake shrugged it off, tossing it somewhere in the room. His dog tags were the only thing left on his chest. I grabbed them, pulling him closer to kiss him again.
I slowly ran my hands down his toned abdomen while he kissed my neck again. His hands moved from my thighs to the hem of my shirt, slipping under it to touch me softly. His touch sent shivers through my body. His thumb grazed the edge of my bra before cupping my breasts in his hands, squeezing them lightly, making me moan.
My hands moved down to his belt buckle, and I quickly undid it as he pulled my shirt over my head.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, starting to undo my pants. Clothes disappeared in a matter of seconds, and the temperature in the room kept rising. The only sounds were our moans and soft murmurs.
Jake was leaning back against the headboard while I straddled his lap, my head tilted back from the pleasure he was giving me. His lips left wet kisses on my breasts, occasionally nipping at them, while his hands roamed my body. They traveled from my neck to my ass, giving it a playful slap as I picked up the pace.
“Damn it, Jake
” I moaned. “I’m close.”
“You feel so good, my love,” he replied, taking control and thrusting into me with more intensity. “You’re perfect, my beautiful girl.”
I moaned loudly as I climaxed, burying my face in the crook of his neck. A few moments later, Jake followed, holding me tightly with both arms as we caught our breath and let our heartbeats steady.
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, woman,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead and tracing soft patterns on my back with his fingertips. “But I’m crazy about you.”
We stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other’s arms, with him still inside me. I left a trail of kisses along his chin and neck before resting my head on his chest, closing my eyes and listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“As much as I love holding you like this, let me take care of you”, Jake said, lifting me slightly and pulling out carefully before laying me back on the bed and heading to the bathroom. His sheets smelled like his cologne. “Here you go, baby.”
Jake returned with a damp towel and gently cleaned my legs. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to my ankles.
“Do you want some water? Are you hungry?” he asked, sitting beside me.
“What I want is for you to lie down with me again,” I sighed, patting the spot next to me on the bed.
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. We lay in comfortable silence as he ran his fingers through my hair, untangling it. We talked here and there, about trivial things, laughing and stealing kisses as if there were no tomorrow.
“Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” Jake asked again. “I can make you a fantastic grilled cheese sandwich.”
“That sounds amazing,” I laughed, propping myself up on my elbow and kissing his lips softly.
We both got up. Jake slipped on a pair of boxers and grabbed a Naval Academy shirt for me. He picked up my panties from the floor and tossed them to me playfully.
“I like these,” he teased with a grin. “Maybe I’ll keep them.”
I rolled my eyes, laughing, and got up to put them on.
“I could leave them for you as a souvenir,” I teased, walking toward the door.
“I love that idea,” he said, following me and giving me a playful slap on the ass. “But don’t worry, sweetheart, I like the thought of you wearing them and me being the only one to take them off even more.”
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trustmypoison · 1 day ago
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SVT in a long-distance relationship
Requested? Yes!
Request: ‘hi! i love all of your writing! Would you be willing to write a fic about SVT in a long distance relationship? thank you!!‘
It’s physically painful to be separated from his phone - Jun, Hoshi, Vernon
You guys have a never-ending text conversation that really doesn’t have good mornings or good nights included at this point. There’s no point in it when you guys were already talking, you know? On bad days when he really misses you, he hands his phone over with a deep sigh when he can’t take it with him. Like, does he want to perform? Of course! But some nights, he’s counting down the minutes until the show is over, and he can pick up the conversation again with a simple ‘I’m back.’ Really doesn’t mind the physical distance so much as long as you’re just a message or phone call away. 
A total expert at FaceTime dates - Jeonghan, Wonwoo, DK, Chan
Complete with a recurring calendar invite every week and everything so neither of you schedule over it. You guys usually eat together, even if one of you is having breakfast and the other is having dinner. The distance doesn’t feel so bad when you guys can just simply carry each other from room to room and keep up the conversation for hours on end. And when you don’t feel like cooking for yourself on one of those FaceTime dates? You don’t know how he does it because he doesn’t even break conversation or seem distracted, but takeout just shows up at your door. When you lightly scold and thank him for it, he pretends like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. 
Constantly sending gifts to you in the mail - Seungcheol, Woozi, Seungkwan
Regular communication? Most certainly. But the little silver lining in a long distance relationship for him would be packing up a little care package every couple weeks or so. Tangible objects mean a lot to him when it comes to you, so he gives you a constant stream of them. Sometimes, it’s just snacks or little trinkets. But sometimes, it’s extravagant gifts that make your jaw drop and scold him for the expense. He sort of lives for the random text that he can sneak to read during a busy day when you say, ‘Not again!!’ Shortly followed by a ‘Thank you, I love it.’ And naturally, he loves your little care packages, too. If one of his members tries to get a hold of it before he can, he can and will fight for it because you made it, and it’s his. 
Just gets on a plane the moment he has some free time - Joshua, Mingyu, Minghao
The constant phone calls and texts, regular FaceTime dates, and gifts in the mail are great and bring him a lot of comfort when he needs them. But nothing beats having some time off to just jump on a plane and go see you. He doesn’t really care if you have to go about your business because it’s a surprise, and you can’t take time off. He’ll wait patiently at your home while you have to be out and do things for you while you’re gone. And when you’re finally home, expect him to be glued to you. The ‘goodbye for now’ might be hard when he has to go back home, but it’s well worth it. 
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calphalon · 2 days ago
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always watching | jason todd headcanons
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— pairing: jason todd (red hood) x reader — tw: all lowercase, possessive behavior, stalking, breaking & entering, one-sided affections, yandere — note: acts of service are jason’s love language... that and maybe he might like scaring you — inspo song: black hole sun by soundgarden
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hasn’t always gotten this close to you.
at first it was just watching you on the subway, taking note of your commute where it crossed paths with him. watching as you walked down dark streets on your way home from a night shift you picked up.
he didn’t intend to get so invested in a civilian, not so much that he used his patrol routes to keep an eye on you. the later you work, the worse he is about following your every step. so much so that he starts to follow you on foot opposed to watching from just balconies and rooftops.
sometimes he would even follow you during the day, hood up and wearing a mask. you never seemed to notice the man in a red hoodie who sat a few tables down from the dinner you liked, the one who would stare at you the entire time. the one who would order a meal just to pretend like he was sharing a meal with you.
sometimes he would even talk to himself, pretending the two of you were actually on some kind of date like this. other people would notice, but behavior like that in gotham was easily dismissed.
it gets to a tipping point when he notices that you keep a window open poorly locked in your apartment. one next to the fire escape, locks almost as old as the building itself. He tests it one day in the hopes you might want him inside your house, and he takes it as a sign.
his nights begin to end with waiting for you to fall asleep, sneaking in, and taking in a slice of the life he pretends to have with you. there is this delusion that somehow this is your way of silently letting him know you know he is there - watching your every move - and want something more. something real.
you start to notice that the dishes in the sink you left the night before are clean and put away. the hinges that used to squeak on the doors are greased up and no longer make noise. The sink in your bathroom that drips no longer causes you problems.
some things you dismiss as luck. others you try to dismiss as your landlord finally stepping up. there is this uneasy feeling you have now, this feeling of being watched.
maybe it’s when you notice the fridge is stocked up with groceries after you spent your check on bills. maybe it’s the fact your neighbor complained about you letting guests use the fire escape to loiter on. maybe it’s when you noticed the bathroom mirror still fogged up when the morning came despite not taking a shower the night before. maybe it’s that feeling of a second body in the bed even though you know you live alone.
jason has gotten comfortable with this routine. visiting you while you’re asleep, relaxing in your home as if it was his own - of course it was his now, you basically invited him in every night - and enjoying being so close to you.
he gets so comfortable he starts entering your place even when you’re awake. listening to you shower, watching you cook breakfast, taking note of how sweet you look so domestic. he can practically imagine what life would be like once you’re his.
something puts you on edge, causing you to call out of work. you start asking friends to stay over. you’ve even started to look at new apartments, worried that maybe someone has been secretly living in your cheap one-bedroom hole-in-the-wall while you’re away
 and maybe while you’re still there.
he gets sloppy. purposely sloppy. jason thinks he might like the way you’re scared, constantly checking if other people have been having similar issues in your area. checking if any convicts escaped recently. looking over your shoulder even in your own home.
you do move, find a slightly better place with a code to get in the building and someone downstairs watching who enter and exits.
for a little while there is the ability to feel comfortable again

then you wake up to a new coffee maker on the kitchen counter with a note attached, letting you know he likes the new place better than your last.
“the windows lock better here. enjoy the housewarming gift.”
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urstruly-ghst · 2 days ago
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i dont want you like a best friend - leona kingscholar
in which you admit to leona, which was something that you've promised to never do
author's note: inspired by dress by taylor swift.
cw: suggestive, alcohol, desperate kisses (bcz .. leona.)
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golden tattoo. that was something you had on your collarbone, it was a simple tattoo you got on a whim. well, if you call alcohol and some peer pressure a "whim," have your shot at it. you woke up with that tatoo and a new electrified sense of life.
to think the prince you consider someone rude and even downright pompous was someone who'd bring you some sense of semblance in nrc. leona kingscholar, someone whom you never thought would be willing to help you (or even glance at your direction), you discredit him more than you realize.
leona was a big softie, whether he'll ever admit that or not, it was obvious. that's why, slowly, you two became friends. best friends even. but above his hidden softie exterior, and "im not your friend" declarations was a passionate lion, he had such starvation you never could imagine.
at a random bar you both snuck into, you had drinks. it was fun, drinking, hitting the dance floor, ans accessing that sweet vip room thanks to leona's influence. however, as the night grew longer, you and leona snuck off. in the crowded room below you two, the party was still loud. yet in a quiet room, you and leona kingscholar are clawing each other with need as the kisses turned deeper. his hands brushed around your tattoo with a small smirk, it unknowingly matches him. maybe that's why you got it?
"herbivore, we need to stop sneaking around" leona mumbled as he pulled away for a moment to breathe before diving back in to kiss you.
"mmhm.. no.." you whine and amidst the kissing, your head reeled back with the dizzying passion and (delusional as it may sound, love.) you whine as the night was swept away again with leona being with you again.
as you both lay down on your bed, you glare as you noticed his name on the bedpost. it was like he marked your bed. leona smirks again and shrugs, saying he doesn't know what you're saying.
"admit it. you like my name on your bed, herbivore." he said sitting up to stretch. you protest—
"..." you stayed silent as the anger died down as you noticed his tail wrapping around you. you blush and wonder, what is he trying to do with you?
"leona, why do you keep doing this with me? you can easily stop this." eri asked as she looked confused. but then, before leona can answer, you blurt out words you promised yourself would never be spoken out loud.
"because leona, im starting to like you. every stolen glance, our moments like this, the secret kisses. leona, its getting to me! and this name, this tattoo. leona, just flat out say why! am i just a friend? a lover? a hookup?" you were unsure why you did that, was it the clarity hitting you? the teasing boiling over? what—?
did you just admit that. leona kingscholar, someone who's as quick witted and sharp, couldn't speak.
everything just stops.
"i don't want you." leona, said smugly. your heart was shattered, and you try to stand up, but he grabbed you,
"i don't want you like a friend. i literally fucking makeout with you, marked your bed with my name, even got a matching tattoo, and i sneak off with you! herbivore, are you really that dumb?" he laughed. you blink and he sighed rolling his eyes. you couldn't see it, but he had the faintest of smiles.
"i love you, herbivore. now stop this drama. let's nap, im sure i did a number on you"
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lewmagoo · 2 days ago
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HONEYMOON BOB. He's rented y'all a nice, secluded lake house so he can fuck you out on the deck!!!!
you sent this in october...whoops lol. can't believe i never answered this gem.
when bob booked your honeymoon, he was very intentional about making sure the place you were staying was very secluded. he didn't want any prying eyes to catch a glimpse of what the two of you were up to. it was his honeymoon, for goodness’ sake. if he wanted to make love to his wife out on the gorgeous wraparound deck, then that was his prerogative!
naturally, that was exactly what he did. it seemed that becoming husband and wife had made him a little more brazen. he never thought he had a wife kink until he proposed to you and got used to the idea of making you his wife. after that, it was in full force. and once he officially said his vows to you, it was as if a switch had been flipped in his mind. he couldn't keep his hands off of you. certainly not when you looked so beautiful and relaxed, happy that the stress of wedding planning was over, allowing you time to relax with your new husband. much of that relaxing turned into the two of you having intense sex on every surface of the quaint lake house he had rented. including on the deck.
you hadn't curled up in his lap that morning with ulterior motives. you had really just come out to enjoy a cup of coffee with him and breathe in the morning air. but one thing led to another, and soon, his hands were wandering your body, sneaking beneath the little négligée you wore. it barely concealed a thing, and it allowed him easy access. especially when you weren't wearing any panties, which was what had started this in the first place.
he was only in his boxers, the thin layer of fabric doing little to lessen the feeling of your bare cunt. you were positioned just right, so that you were able to rut against his cock. it didn't take him long to get hard. in fact, his blood had gone rushing south from the moment you walked outside, nipples peaked under your nightie, body on display. it had grown increasingly difficult to hide. he didn't try, either, because it wasn't something he had to conceal. there was no one around for miles. if you wanted to have sex on the deck, who were you to deny yourselves?
that was how you found yourself sinking down onto your husband's thick cock, inch by satisfying inch, all while bob held the hem of your nightie and watched the way your anatomy stretched to accomodate him. "there ya go, honey. just a little more. that's it." and once you had lowered yourself fully, he gazed up at you with overwhelming intensity in his eyes. "look at you. taking every inch of me like the good little wife you are." his statement pulled a desirous whimper from you, and you surged forward to kiss him, hips rocking slightly, growing accustomed to being full.
his large hands came up to grip your hips. "let me guide you, sweetheart. don't want you doin' all the work." he slowly eased you into a rhythm, moaning brazenly as you began to ride him, pussy tightening around him with each movement. god, he was obsessed with your body. he yanked your négligée down even further, exposing your breasts, as if offended that the silky fabric was hiding them from him.
he leaned in to latch onto one of your nipples, and you whined, your own hands coming up to tangle in his sandy locks, soft and ungelled and a little longer than usual, because he didn't have to cut his hair while on leave. "you're perfect," he gasped against your chest, "all for me. my perfect wife. how'd i get so lucky?" his praise made your heart sing, and drove you to quicken your movements, eager to please. but he slowed you. "no need to rush now, honey. we've got all day. ride it nice and slow. 'at's it, just like that. let me savor this sweet little pussy."
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astracora · 2 days ago
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Turning Point - Part 5
Characters: Poly!LADs x gn!mc
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Angst, Loss of Arm, Lots of emotional struggle with disability, mentions for Rafayel stories, and myths, violent imagery and arguments.
Word Count: 5456
Written: 9th January 2025
Notes: Pre-relationship with gn!MC with all LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. Unnamed MC, but using my personal MC's basic appearance and adjusted backstory. I take some liberties with what the game offers me. Rafayel is so hard to write for a lot of reasons, but also is one of my favourite characters in any story because he's just... contains multitudes. I also feel like he's the one who struggles most with all these other people in MC's life. I also feel like he's so fixated on pain, and struggle, that he forgets kindness can be offered to him with no price. Anyway, I enjoyed working on this bit a lot even though it was hard. Enjoy! Also as a side note, the song of choice I can only partially explain, Rafayel out of all the boys makes me think of regency romance on a level I truly cannot explain. (even though he doesn't have a dancing scene... YET!!)
Now Playing: All I Want, by Kris Bowers
Masterlist AO3
<- Previous
Rafayel loves you. That is never in doubt. He finds himself bitter and aching that there is so much you have shared that only he remembers.
Sometimes it comes out in harsh words or lies. Even though he knows it is unfair to punish you, when you can't control it.
Mostly, however, he tries to enjoy moments with you. Hoping that something will spark, and you will look at him and see long years of history.
Remember his longing and his love in all its forms.
Remember all the facets that make him up. Perhaps it's cowardice to want your memories to fill in the blanks that he is too scared to tell you. Blood on his hands, heart offered up. He does not want to see your expression change. For you to fear or hate who he is
 who he can become.
He thinks about beautiful blue seas, and the breath stolen underwater.
When he finds himself thinking of the beach he waited at, every year, he pushes himself into his work.
Now, he spends most of his days at your side. In case you need him. He watches closely, because he's used to you hiding your struggle from him. When you're sick, you've hidden it, he's reminded you that you're not a superhero. As much as you put on a brave front for every kid that sees your hunter reels.
Rafayel has watched this version of you for a long time, before he finally met you again. Properly.
He has seen so many renditions of you, no matter who you have been
 he has loved you. He has and will love you for eternity and beyond, even if it might be easier not to.
Rafayel has finished most of his work for his exhibit, as he stares at the final piece that is missing something that he cannot find.
Sun blends with sea, as the tides recede. As silver bones are left behind to bleach.
He stares and stares and nothing comes. Just that vague, irritating feeling of incompletion.
"You're going to burn a hole in it, fish."
"Sylus, leave the man alone, he's actually working."
Rafayel huffs
 and therein lies his other problem. Your consortium of bizarre attachments. If he were less observant, he could pretend they see you as a friend only.
But he is a man who can kill another, who can plan his revenge, who can hide in plain sight. Who is capable of sneaking up even on the N109 Zone Leader.
So he can see and he can't ignore. He also can't ignore that they comfort you as well.
You have teased him for being childish, and he thinks the irritating feeling in his gut, that demands he steal all of your time, that you are his bonded partner, confirms such a claim. He is not possessive of a lot
 your heart is his.
He tries to ignore the doctor and the crow. Staring straight ahead, hoping that answers will come to him, but he cannot. He can feel their presence and it is on the edge of his consciousness. Poking at it.
Like he is a crab on the beach and a child wants to watch his pincers clasp.
"Maybe you should take a walk, get some fresh air."
"Do you want the fish to suffocate, Doctor?"
"Truly, you are incapable of not prodding at others aren't you?"
He huffs this time, turning his face to look at the two. Zayne is typing on his laptop, barely looking up to converse, while Sylus is on his tablet, glasses on the end of his nose.
The two look eerily similar like this.
Rafayel tries not to compare the doctor to the crow, it's unflattering. At least the doctor can heal your wounds.
When he speaks though, his irritation comes out in the snippy tone he takes, "Your opinions are noted, dumb crow. Then swiftly discarded."
The man does that irritating little laugh he does, that is more a puff of air than a real laugh. Like it's too much effort to feel anything, and Rafayel wants to pluck his feathers.
How you can tolerate him, he'll never know.
At least the hunter is quiet

Still, he wants to get out of here, they make it harder for him to think, and he can't make progress like this. So he stands, shrugging at them and heads towards the door, as he goes to make through he almost collides with you and Xavier returning from the hospital. He isn't surprised when you move out the way just in time, you're a hunter and your training has made you capable. Still as he greets you, you hesitate, before tugging at his shirt before he can leave.
He looks down, your hand holding onto the fabric, not tough enough to tear, but enough to halt his movements.
"Are you alright, Raffy?" 
It shouldn't surprise him that you notice the tick in his jaw, or the stress under his skin. It isn't the first time, and you've shown many times to have been able to pick out when his mood has dropped. You're observant as part of being a hunter, you're careful, you pay attention. You're smart.
You care.
About him, about his mood
 about his life. His irritation settles, soothes at the edges, and his smile is easier, "I need some fresh air. Want to come with?"
You hesitate and he watches the fear enter your eyes. Wavering. You walk between the hospital and the apartment when you don't take Zayne's car, but that's the extent of your journeys. He wants to pull you by the hand
 make you see the sea with him.
"Where are you going?"
"Whitesands."
It's far enough removed, very few people visit it, and he will get a walk somewhere familiar. Perhaps it's familiar enough for you to follow him.
He extends his hand, carefully, trying to keep the need from bubbling to the surface. If he could take you away far from here, he would. Take you to everything he's ever seen, so he can see it with new eyes. Yours.
Your hand stretches out, and your fingers tremble, before you finally take his, "Alright, if it's quiet." Your request is one he'll happily grant. Both of you alone, he can't think of a better way to spend his time.
The walk is kind to him, as they head towards Whitesand Bay, he gets to keep your hand in his, listen to the song of the world, and watch as your steps become lighter. You stop staring down at your arm and checking around you, eventually focusing on the sky and him.
As feet crunch on white sand, and approach the edge of tides. You let go of his hand to walk a little further out, and he watches. As you crouch, as you reach fingers to the water.
Rafayel paints everything he thinks is beautiful, tragic, or brings pain to his soul. You hurt him too, in ways he aches for. Like he is placing his hand in a burning flame, and holding it there, because the longer he holds it, the closer he gets to what he craves.
Like there is an answer there, waiting over the edge of agony. If he tumbles after it, he'll find what eludes him.
There's a feeling in him that wants to drown you with him. He could swim out, with you in his arms, and pull you under. On the edge of the question of life, before he gives you the means to breathe alongside him. He's warned you of the nature of sirens, and you've looked him in the eye and told him you don't fear him.
You should, though, he knows. You should fear the ocean's grasp as well as his own, because he wants your heart for his.
As you turn your eyes back to him, soft smile tugging the scar on your face, his heart thunders and then stills. Flames and agony. The need to touch and hold it in his hand
 Lit against the contours of your face, and the glimmer in your eyes.
His inspiration is always closer than he thinks.
—-----
Rafayel dislikes your companions.
The prince gets to spend all of his time with you, working together, protecting each other. Where Rafayel had to convince you to be his bodyguard, just for a fraction of that time.
The doctor is who you trust with your injuries and your wounds, he is who you go to when something hurts. You hid your sickness from Rafayel before now, so he didn't doubt your capabilities.
The crow
 the crow gets under his scales. Like a tick. Biting and bleeding and ruining his skin. Yet you trust him, a man who built all his life on violence. Who has blood on his hands. Who is open about his sins
 While he cannot tell you for fear of the look in your eye changing.
It is safe to say the crow is his least favourite. The one who grinds at him most, who plucks and pulls. Like a hook in his upper lip. He dreams of drowning the man
 he would if the look in your eyes didn't stop him.
So he hates them, he thinks. The anger and irritation and the childish petulance. He wants your attention and he fights for it, he wants you to trust him most. It took too long to gain entrance into your home, reminding himself that time builds strong bonds. That he should be patient. He did not want to scare you, to startle you. Like you are a small fish and he is a bigger
 hungrier beast.
There is no peace when they are around, and normally pain brings him inspiration, an answer on the end of a paintbrush. A vision in the agony.
Whatever feeling they inspire is not pain, and it brings him no art to create, no feelings to share in blues and greens. Nothing to show for it.
He has thankfully, however, finished his final piece. So there is a relief in him, even as the crow looks down at him, eyebrow raised.
Rafayel ignores the man, looking straight ahead, signing his work. Paintbrush steady. Steadier than the racing heart in his chest.
He will not lose a game of chicken with an overgrown bird.
So when the crow turns to walk away, he is relieved, and so smug, until he hears a crunch. Looking over quickly, and staring down at the floor.
"Ah, what a shame."
One of Rafayel's paintbrushes snapped in half by the stupid crow's foot.
He levels a glare at the man, "Are stupid crows clumsy too?"
"Are all fish messy? Your things have spread across the apartment."
"I'm working!"
"Quite diligently I see, despite galavanting off to the beach. Inspiration was it?"
The look on the crow's face is too level. It's too calm. He does not respond to the rise of Rafayel's voice. He does not flinch at the glare in his eyes. He does not move, from where his foot is still on his brush.
It is a feeling of irritation that burns and scorches where it stands.
He has to tolerate and bite his tongue. He has to think and be careful. He has to share, where he does not want to share.
You are his heart, why does he have to look at the eyesore in his vision, and think about his hands on you too.
His anger bubbles and froths and overflows. A pot that has been left, and forgotten. You will forget him too, in favour of a crow! A stupid. Foolish. Irritating crow.
He stands and presses forwards, fangs bared and sharp. He is a predator of the seas. This man is nothing. He is a god of the tides. This man is a petty criminal.
Rafayel knows you better, he has seen more incarnations than this man can even comprehend, and he dares to play at favour?
"If you wish to be drowned, crow, I am happy to oblige."
Eyebrow quirks at him, a look in his eyes that Rafayel can't make out, but it glitters and twinkles, "I'd love to see you try, fish, but I'm afraid you couldn't hope to kill me."
"I am more than willing to try."
"Then you'll simply be hurting your 'beloved bride', wouldn't you?"
He snarls, a low noise in the back of his throat, hand reaching out to grab at the man's throat. To snap it, bite through it, to cut his voice permanently, he isn't sure. It will hurt, and he will deserve it. For calling you what he cannot. Too many memories that you cannot hold in your heart.
The crow steps forwards, as if daring him to try. To wrap his hands around his throat and twist. To slice his throat open with a dagger. To see. To show him if it's true.
"Raffy?" Your call comes from the side, stumbling in, voice wary.
His hand hovers, he debates. Thinks for a moment. Stares at the crow's adam apple as the man swallows his laughter down. The dare is there, waiting for him to take
 and they both know he won't.
So he rips his hand back, offers you the kind of smile that shakes at the foundations, "Hey cutie, I was just going out for the exhibit."
You open your mouth to speak, and he shakes his head, grabbing his canvas. Lifting it far too quickly to be safe, and turns on a heel, "I'll see you later."
The speed he leaves the apartment leaves the door frame shaking behind him. Heading out, running from the place. From the crow's dare, from the wary look in your eyes.
From the inadequacy
 the guilt
 the irritation. The pain.
What lurks over the abyss could just be nothingness. A world where you don't want him, or need him. Where without your memories you do not look at him, hear him call you his beloved bride, and love him as you once did. Where his bond with you is not enough, and he simply has to experience the heart that cannot beat for anyone but you.
That he has lied and hidden and kept from you for too long, that a criminal with blood on his hands who does not hide
 claims your heart for his.
His heart

There is pain behind his art and in his soul. A reminder that he cannot always be with you in every life, and he prays this is not one of them. An alter of suffering that he would cut his chest open at, if you would always look at him.
—--
You cannot stop thinking about the look on Rafayel's face.The agony in his eyes as he'd darted from the room. You'd asked Sylus who had shrugged, "I broke his paintbrush." But not explained further.
You'd seen Rafayel break his own paintbrushes in his studio, stepping on them, falling over them. Resulting in a trip to the hospital because of how messy things were.
You help Sylus clean up some of the mess, containing it in a corner with the rest of Raffy's things, hoping it would alleviate some of the feeling you can't seem to shake in the air. A stagnation. It feels like decay, and you can't open enough windows to air it out.
If Sylus decides not to share, he won't. You've known him long enough, pried at his secrets enough, that you don't waste the strength anymore. He shares what he wants, when he wants to.
So you abandon the effort and go about your day. It drags. Waiting for time to pass, working through your exercises, before you have to leave.
As the time approaches, the clock hand moving, it begins to click harder. The sound impending.
You think about other exhibits, the amount of people, the noise

It cuts through the excitement, the peace of the wait, the boredom.
You pause as you're getting ready, staring at the prosthetic arm flexing in front of you. The movement of metal fingers, the clear indication of your injury
 your failure.
You're going to see Rafayel. A man who people will be looking at. Commending.
Taking photos of.
Do you really want to be stood next to him like this? To draw attention to yourself and him?
An icy chill runs up your spine, and you stop. You have to get these clothes off. You have to cancel. You can't go.
You can't be there.
You feel the chain on your ankle, it tugs and it pulls, and it drags you back. The beast that settled, has woken up. It is hungry and it is angry, and it is laughing at you for trying.
A mistake, this was a mistake. You made a promise to someone you care about, and now you're going to hurt him. Either way, you're going to hurt him. Make him look stupid. Make him hate you.
You're going to break this fragile peace. Bring that agonised look into his eyes again.
Take from a man who gives you so much. Love, affection, kindness, warmth, acceptance, joy.
You are ripping all those things from his hands, and returning nothing.
"Kitten?" You stumble, when the voice startles you out of your thoughts. Falling back onto the bed, looking up as Sylus enters, not bothering to wait for an answer. Ever since your mission had gone wrong, he has been far less hesitant. If he could ever be said to be hesitant.
When he sees you sitting, tears in your eyes, he approaches you, kneels in front of you. Hands on your knees. Soothing your skin. His skin is so warm, it's like a brand. You almost pull away. On fire, itching, hurting. He notices your flinch and pulls his hands away. The relief of the cool is intense, and you choke on the feeling.
You're the mistake. Too fragile to be touched. Too useless to be helpful. Too much work.
He takes in your rumbled clothing. The shirt half pulled off, the jacket thrown away from you, the trousers unclasped. You are shivering, and shaking, and while you can see his hands twitching. Yearning, needing to soothe, he knows he can't. So he tries to speak, hesitant now, "Don't you like them?" You think about the time he spent, finding things with Rafayel that are easier to wear. Clasps that can be done easier with one hand, or buttons bigger for your unsteady metal fingers.
Things that require the least amount of struggle. If he could not find them, he had them made.
The two of them, you think as you try to fight through the fog, are dangerous.
You shake your head numbly. "I can't go."
It doesn't require much more from you, even without his eye, Sylus reads people. He reads you. He's said sometimes he cannot understand the workings of your mind, but he improves everyday. It is terrifying to be seen by him. Terrifying for him to look under the rough exterior, to the rougher interior.
You wait for the moment that he realises you're not worth it.
"You'll be with us." He starts, and you look down at where his hand twitches towards you, then back. "You won't be alone."
You haven't been alone, you think. In all the time you've spent with this. This weight, first on your back, then on your ankle. They have come to find you. Looking.
Just like Caleb did.
Is it enough? This could be that wakeup call.
"Rafayel wants you there, he's excited to see you." It is odd. It is hearing Sylus say 'Rafayel' and not 'fish', that jolts you back. Just like the moment you saw them in your kitchen, arguing. Just like when you saw them all walk through that door when the blanket was your only defence.
It is a realisation of how odd this is. How bizarre they are.
It almost makes you hiccup a laugh. The idea of Sylus speaking for Rafayel. You think about how warm he is to you, how he takes your hand easily.
I will always want to look at you.
"What if it's too much work?" You finally manage, the agony lightening so you can speak, no longer tearing at you. Though you can feel the creature on your ankle. Tugging. Like a dog with a chew toy.
"The important things are worth it."
Important.
Learning to use your prosthetic is hard. Learning to trust is hard.
It was with Caleb, it is with all of them. It is a constant struggle. A constant weight. To try.
They catch you, with a security net. Give you space to breathe, so you can stand back up again.
You think about what you want, think about what will make you happy
 what is worth living for.
It is the reason to keep getting up.
You want to see Rafayel's work, you want to see the people you care about. You want to keep your promise to a man who values you. A hesitant shaky hand takes Sylus' where it hovers. The way you can watch him heave a sigh, the tension in him easing, as he clasps yours between both of his. Tight, but not suffocating. He grounds you, and it doesn't burn.
"What do you think, Kitten? Do you want to try?"
Sylus has never belittled you for tears, or made you feel your emotions are a mistake. When you are drowning, he offers a hand. When you anger and hurt, he is there, either to join you in your hurt, or to help appease it.
He offers you a choice, and he means it. If you truly do not want to, you know he will accept it. If you want to, he will help.
"I want to try."
He nods, pulling you up with him, to stand, straight into his chest. So that you can feel his uneven heart beating against you. "Then let's get you ready."
—-----
He should never have left so early. He should have stayed with you.
Rafayel left the apartment in frustration and anger and now he stares at his phone, hoping to see your name pop up.
It is an agitating feeling. To be stood on the edge of the cliff and not know if there's water below.
He has forced himself to listen to Thomas, to go through the motions, to ensure his exhibit is set up correctly. He has sat under too bright lights, feeling himself drying up, as he waits. As the clock hand moves, as he thinks, and he struggles.
If he keeps running, will you stop chasing him?
As his exhibit starts, he checks again, only to see a message from the doctor, 'Good luck today'. He doesn't respond. He stares at it. It's unsettling. He doesn't want the doctor to wish him good luck. He doesn't want his comfort.
He doesn't need it.
Even when his agitation settles a moment, and he hides it from Thomas who asks him why he's smiling. He's not.
That doesn't mean anything.
He does not wave at Xavier as he walks through the door, milling around the paintings quietly. Avoiding the bigger crowds. He tries not to think about the fact that he's come to see.
It doesn't matter.
As time passes, Rafayel fidgets.
Stares at the door.
Fidgets.
Stares at the door.
He walks around the room, passes Xavier, who hands him water quietly, then walks off. He stares down at it, but he's parched, the crowds are tiring him out, the people are talking like they understand him, and he just wants to be somewhere else. So he downs it, and lets the relief of the chill settle in his throat.
He talks absently to people he doesn't really care to listen to. Thomas gives him a talk about doing his duties.
Irritation settles in his stomach. He doesn't care about his duties. He cares about seeing you.
He checks his phone, and is relieved, though irritated, when he gets a message from the crow, 'We're on our way'. He sends back a thumbs up, though it is through a shaky hand. Excitement makes it unsteady.
It is when he is not staring at the door, when he hears your voice behind him. "Raffy?" Pulling away from where he is avoiding Thomas' lectures, he takes you in. Your hand is grasped in the crow's, eyes darting around the room. You're wearing your prosthetic, a dark blue jacket over your shoulders, painted with green and blue flowers. Flared trousers and a light shirt. He absently thinks that the crow's style isn't too ridiculous, if it means you visit his exhibits like this. Like one of the flowers in a garden he wants to take you.
"Cutie!" It is relief and it is the weight of hundreds of years that shed. He waited, he waited, and you came. He takes your hand away from the crow, not without giving a smug little smile, which receives him a smirk, and kisses the back of it. "You made it."
He watches your eyes glisten, he can feel the heat off your cheeks. Not all embarrassment, he knows some of it is stress, but it is enough. "You don't have to stay long." He promises, it doesn't matter how long you stay. You came. You came, no matter what.
You came, and he knows it wasn't easy.
The laugh you release, it trembles, like your hand, but it is accompanied by the small smile he is learning to draw with his eyes closed. "Show me your work?"
"I'll go find the prince, call me if you need me." The crow offers, he leans, kissing your temple, before he leaves. You blink after him a bit, touching where he kissed with your hand, pulling it from Rafayel's grasp, and then look at him. He glares after the man, but doesn't offer much of a response.
"Come on then cutie, you're mine." He doesn't look as he grabs your hand, and he knows he is grinning at you. Pulling you forwards with him, darting to where his art calls for you.
He doesn't notice the chill in your hand, until he eases his fingers over it. Feeling grooves and edges. He almost releases when he realises he has grabbed your prosthetic, you are staring down at it with him.
Rafayel looks at you, tries to read the look in your eyes. It is soft, and awed and gentle. So he raises it to his lips, kissing the wrist. You tremble, blinking, before tightening your grip just a little.
It is the soft, warm look in your eyes, as you tug him forward a little bit more, a laugh bubbling out of you. "Come on Raffy."
He takes you around all of his paintings, and just watches you.
You don't offer him opinions or thoughts often, he has learned if he gives you space to look, you can tell him how you feel. What his art brings out in you. If he looks closely at your face, he can watch it. Trembling in your eyes.
As you flit amongst paintings, like a butterfly amongst flowers, tugging him along with you. He follows willingly.
There are moments when you stop, and your hand twitches out. Like you are holding back the urge to run your fingers over the paint. Tracing shapes, touching at his heart directly.
He wants to tell you that you can do as you please. That you are the one who he wants to understand him most. That his art, and his soul are yours to do with as you like. That you could tear images from his canvas, and he would still paint more for you.
Finally you find yourself in front of his struggle. Bleached bones on the beach, tides easing out. Leaving scars behind.
At the edges of the horizon, the sun rises again. Painting the once dreary sky in a rainbow.
You are the sunrise that greets him, that reminds him that time moves forwards. That there is something to see after the night.
That tomorrow has a chance for better than today.
You bloom like a flower before his eyes, a sight he could never have seen beneath the waves. A reminder of why he came to visit the surface every year. A reminder of all the wonders of land that he idolised as a child.
"Beautiful." Is exhaled, and he is unsure if it was you or him. The twinkling in your eyes, perhaps it was both.
Eventually he feels the strain in your countenance, the exhaustion, so he sneaks with you out of the exhibit. Escaping into gardens that are quiet, and closed to others. A locked gate has never kept him out of anywhere, however.
It is the quiet that settles you, and he settles alongside you. No longer wearing a mask he does not want for people who come to stare at his work. He pulls you amongst flowers, fields of lilies, and whispers of petals.
Secluded and alone. The way he feels best with you.
Lying down in the grass, to look up at the sky, stars twinkling.
It is with the view of the stars that you speak, voice tinged in a guilt he wishes to chase away, "I almost didn't come. I'm sorry Raffy."
His eyes turn to you, to read the draw of your lips, the pain in your eyes, the way you tighten your grip on his hand. Cool metal against skin that reacts to you more than any other. Sensitive, aware.
Your touch will always alight his senses.
He knows the hesitation, he thinks about the way you wavered on the edge, hand extended to you as you feared to take it. He knows that you are adjusting. He regrets asking you to promise, to put that weight on your shoulders.
He is relieved you came. To see him, to stare at the workings of his heart, and yearn to trace it with fingers.
His patience and his need fight often. His awareness of pushing, his desperation. It is hard to balance.
"What changed your mind?"
You edge a little closer on the grass, so that the heat of him spreads over the sensors of your prosthetic. Alongside the gentle stroking of his thumb over your hand. "Sy told me you wanted me to be here
 and I wanted to be here for you."
Rafayel's first instinct is the kind of reaction he's seen cats get to water. Hissing and jumping up. Shaking himself furiously.
There is great dissatisfaction at comparing himself to the demons.
There is greater dissatisfaction at the crow, helping him. In any way.
It is a feeling of being pulled back by the scruff of his neck, away from the abyss he seeks out. The fall into the ocean.
The agony on the edge of the conscious.
You poke his cheek with your other hand, then brush hair back and his heart settles its seething. "I'm glad."
"Glad?"
"That they care for you." It is whispered, and it is tentative, and he sees the worry in your eyes.
The fear at his arguments before. The anxiety that you are causing distress.
Forcing them. Making them clash in enclosed spaces. Like caged beasts.
It is the wary voice that calls out to him, tries to ask the question about the pain in him, the voices and the agony ripping and pulling and hurting. The pain that grants him no inspiration.
They care.
A message sent to wish him luck. A quiet presence bringing him water when he dries. A fool giving you the push to move forwards to lead your feet to him.
You have not stopped looking for him and at him, and he has been holding you like a toy he does not wish to share

It is a feeling he isn't ready to digest or question, not when the stars are bright and you are safe next to him. It is one he will think about in days to come, as he watches the doctor help him clean. As he is offered a pillow the prince favours in order to sleep better.
When the crow argues with him, but gives him food that satisfies a hunger he forgets to appease for himself.
When you do not look at him any less. That he has not lost anything, he is not lesser.
It is a feeling for later.
To help paint canvas he wants to share one day, though pain is absent, and something else glimmers in the sea.
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cosmicalily · 2 days ago
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"never just coffee" a felix oneshot by @cosmicalily
“if i didn't love you, it would be fine, cause If we do coffee, it's never just coffee” - 'coffee' by chappell roan
author's note: based on this request by an anon! hope you love it and i hope this lives up to everyone's angsty standards! (also felix i'm sorry i'd never leave you i promise i could fix this i could fix us)
warnings: angst (breakups)
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You shouldn’t have come back.
“Thanks for breakfast,” you murmured, setting your knife and fork down on your plate and looking down. You counted the tiny crumbs that freckled your plate. 
One.
Two.
Three.
Felix swallowed his mouthful, slightly louder than what you thought was necessary. Or maybe it was just quiet. “That’s okay. They’re still your favourite, right?”
Blueberry pancakes, especially Lee Felix’s, were most definitely your favourite. Soft, fluffy and sweet, but not tooth-achingly. Light, but they filled the stomach in a way that was comforting and warming. The blueberries he used were always fresh from the local farmer’s market; slightly sour and bursting with flavour.
But as you sat on the sofa beside him, your legs on top of his, they twisted your stomach into knots, and you pulled your fingers from Felix’s clasp to rest on your belly.
“Are you okay?” Felix asked, eyes concerned. He shifted the plate from your lap and stacked it on top of his, looking at you intently. His beautiful face searched yours for some kind of response, some kind of emotion.
“Is any of this okay?” you snapped, pulling your legs away from him. 
His eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“You fucking know what I mean, Felix. The fact that we broke up two whole months ago and I’m still at yours more nights than not every week. The fact that I come over, you make me coffee, and suddenly, oh crap! We’re fucking again and then, in the morning, you’re up in the kitchen making me breakfast.”
“I didn’t . . . I didn’t know it made you uncomfortable.”
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. It hurts.”
You sat in silence for a moment, breathing heavily. He reached for your hand, and after a moment of indignance, you let him take it. He didn’t interlock his fingers with yours, but his skin was warm, his rings cold.
“And you broke up with me,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill over your cheeks.
Felix’s heart ached. “Because of the contract, you know that. It wasn’t ever to hurt you-”
“Oh, like a breakup with the boy you’ve loved since you were teenagers isn’t supposed to fucking hurt me?” you snatched your hand away, suddenly furious again. “If you thought that what you did somehow didn’t affect me at all, you’re even dumber of a blonde than I thought you were. And it’s not even natural, you fucking fake bitch.”
A tear rolled down his cheek, and you resisted the urge to reach out and wipe it. You couldn’t, because then his hands would be on your waist, yours on his face, and suddenly, you’d be making out, mumbling apologies and promises that in no way, no universe the two of you coexisted in, could be kept.
Not under these circumstances.
“You told me that you were okay with it. Okay with having to lie and pretend and keep all of this a secret from my company,” Felix mumbled, his voice breaking. “And you promised that you would stand by me no matter what, because you loved me.”
“And I do love you, Felix. That’s the problem. I can’t, not if I’m having to sneak in and out of the dorms, not if I can’t be your girlfriend, not even in secret.”
“But you are. You’re the love of my life.”
“You can’t even fucking say it out loud now,” you sighed, covering your face with your hands.
He grabbed your wrists gently, moving them from your face, wiping your tears with his fingers. And it was useless, because when your heart decided to kill you even further, prompting you to pull him in and letting him settle your hips on his, your tears fell in unison.
Salt-flavoured kisses.
They were always fucking salt-flavoured kisses.
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