#and it recalled to mind the time a character on a TV show was wearing the same jacket as me with the comic book print

[maebird-melody]

There is nothing more wild to me than the double-take of seeing something I use, something I take for granted in my day-to-day life, in a picture that someone else has posted online. In that moment, I have found connection with a complete stranger. We both use the same kitchen knife set. Someone at some point gifted us both a box tied with the same Christmas ribbon decorated in twisting vines that has now snuck into our yearly decorating. I have worn this same jacket until the snaps wore loose of the jersey knit, did the jacket come apart from many years of well-worn love for you, too?

Capitalism is such that many iterations of identical objects do indeed proliferate, it is not unusual for two or more people to own the same duvet cover, the same skirt, the same couch. But in the moment I see it, I think to myself, we both saw this object and thought “I want this in my life. It has both utility and beauty to me. I think this object says something about me enough so that I continue to use or display it.” Or maybe the object has become background noise, just another part of the fabric of both our lives.

It is a reminder to me that we don’t live alone in this world, we share it together, and all the objects therein.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LNDS Xavier: Lazy Pandas (18+)

Oh gods I hate editing my work because of the bad grammar and typos, but I wanted to get this out TONIGHT. I have plans on writing one of these for each of the boys. Just those panda outfits are so adorable. But also I am a degenerate so here we are. Enjoy the meal.

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+. Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, laughing during sex, soft kisses, unsafe sex, creampie, riding, cuddling Pairing: Xavier x Reader Synopsis: You had it all planned, a small date night with Xavier with your new, adorable panda overalls. However after s bit of cuddling you decide to have a bit of play time with your favorite panda boy. Word Count: 3.3k

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Lazy Pandas

“Oh my goodness, you look adorable!” You said, looking at Xavier in his current panda outfit. You had seen them in store a week ago and knew you needed to get a matching set to wear with him. It was totally worth it as you took him in.

He already had that soft boy aesthetic going for him, so dressing like a panda was just a cherry on top. You had to fight with yourself not to coo over how adorable he is, knowing he would either turn it right back on you, or get all pouty.

“You look rather cute as well.” He said, scratching his cheek as he looked away from you for a moment before turning back. You had the slightest blush on your cheeks from the compliment. No matter how many times he gave you compliments, it never failed to turn you into a blushing, and sometimes giggling, mess.

He paused for a moment as though thinking, then turned back to you with a small, relaxed smile, “Was there a reason you wanted to wear these tonight?”

“There is always a method to my madness, Xav. Take a good look around!” You said, moving to show him what you did to his living room. You had literally rushed to his apartment the moment he got home with this plan in mind. While he showered and got changed, you got to work.

Xavier seemed to finally notice the tornado that went through his living room. Every single pillow and blanket he owned was currently stashed on the floor. You had even moved some furniture around to make more room. It was a perfect little nest which included several plushies he had gotten you in the past.

There was also a small tray of finger foods that wouldn’t be too messy. The TV flickered with a movie series title on display, one that you had mentioned you wanted to binge with him. You had made it the most cozy movie date ever, outfits included.

“Besides, isn’t matching fun?” You asked, shuffling a bit. Your hands went to the overall pockets as you looked around, hoping he’d like what you did.

“You’re right, it is rather fun. I can’t recall the last time I had a movie marathon like this.” He said, giving you subtle praise and you preened from the attention.

You grabbed onto Xavier’s hand, pulling him closer to the little nest you had practically built for the two of you. It was easy to drag him down with you, getting comfortable in all the fluffy blankets he owned. This is why you had to do this at his apartment. He was a collector of the comfiest blankets and pillows known to man.

It didn’t take long before you had turned the movie on and you two got into a comfortable silence as you watched. The movie wasn’t particularly a good one, but it had five movies in the series and could be considered entertaining to some extent. Xavier commented about never having seen them though, so you knew you two had to experience it together.

As the movie continued, reaching the halfway point, you couldn’t help but roll over until you bumped into Xavier’s side. Said man had a cracker in his mouth as he looked down at you. He swallowed what was in his mouth before smiling at you, “Need something?”

“Cuddles.” You stated simply, knowing exactly what you were about right now.

Xavier’s arm went over the top of your body, dragging you in closer and tucking your body against his chest. He carefully angled it so you’d be able to see the movie, but soon realized your neck might strain a bit to see the screen.

Xavier easily wrapped his arms around your midsection before rolling onto his back, letting your body nestle right on top of him. You let out a soft grunt from the position change until you realized you could now lay your head right on his chest.

“That better?” He asked, his arms still securely wrapped around you.

“Ya, but now you’re watching the movie upside down.” You said, noticing how he laid his head down and stared over at the TV.

He took a moment to look at you before his eyes flicked back over to the movie, “I don’t mind watching it upside down if I can hold you like this.”

You swore your heart fluttered at his every word as you got comfortable in the newest cuddle spot. It couldn’t have been ten minutes when your gaze went back down to your boyfriend. He looked so focused on the movie and you thought about how he looked adorable like this. How a man could look cute from every angle was one of the many mysteries of the world.

“Hey Xav.” You called, getting his attention. He looked up at you just in time for you to give him a gentle kiss right on the tip of his nose.

He blinked a few times in confusion before a lax smile spread on his face, “You missed.” He commented.

“Oh, my bad. Lemme try again.” You said, this time going to press a kiss to his forehead. You watched his eyes pinch closed as you did so and you chuckled, sitting back up on him again.

“You still missed.” He said and you rolled your eyes. You then leaned over, kissing both his cheeks then gave a satisfied smirk.

“I think I did good that time, right?” You asked him, tilting your head innocently. Xavier’s hands on your hips gave you a small squeeze, making you squeak in surprise. You then felt one of his hands going to cup you under the chin as he brought you down to him.

After placing a barely there kiss on your lips, he moved your face away, “There, that’s better. Perhaps we should take you out training since your aim seems a bit off today.” He suggested.

You gave him a dramatic eye roll and pushed his chest down, “My aim is just fine, thank you.”

You shifted again in his lap to get comfortable before you noticed something underneath you. It was subtle through the layers of clothing you had between you, but it could really only be one thing.

“Xav…did you get hard from that?” You teased, shuffling your hips to get a better feel for his erection underneath you.

Xavier let out a small groan before looking away from you, a slight dusting of pink went across his cheeks, “I can’t help it, you were squirming a lot.”

You just laughed at how cute he seemed to be. You used your arms to help keep you steady as you went to grind down on his length. You hated how you could barely feel him through the fabrics, knowing just how good his dick felt when it was pressed against your bare skin.

Xavier’s hands went back to your hips, stopping your grinding motion, “W-what are you doing?” he finally managed to ask after shifting under you so you wouldn’t be directly on top of his length.

“Take a wild guess, panda boy.” You said, trying to move despite his iron-like grip on your sides. Sometimes you hated how strong he was in comparison to you.

“You can’t even give me a proper kiss, yet you want to use my body?” He asks with a small pout. You snicker at his expression before placing a hand under his chin.

“Well get up here and kiss me properly…and for the record you were the one who got turned on first. I thought pandas were supposed to be lazy.” You teased the man under you. Xavier didn’t hesitate to sit up and reposition you two so you straddled his lap.

He leaned in, pressing his mouth against yours and you happily melted into his touch. His lips were always soft and you briefly wondered if he ever used chapstick, or if he was just naturally lucky. A small pinch to your hip brought you out of your random thoughts.

Xavier placed a small kiss to the edge of your mouth, “Perhaps it’s mating season for this panda…” He commented, and you swore if you kept rolling your eyes they’d end up in the back of your head at this point.

“If that’s true, then did my cute panda boy want me to ride him?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you pressed your chest up against him.

Xavier’s eyes widened for a moment at your blunt question before he let out an amused laugh, “You certainly don’t shy away anymore.” He joked.

You couldn’t help the pout on your lips, “Well if you don’t want me to then…” You went to stand up, but Xavier’s grip wasn’t letting you go anywhere.

“Now I didn’t say that.” His hand went to cup your cheek, “You just caught me by surprise is all.”

You did a small happy shimmy as his acceptance, your laughter mingling with his. You then decided you were tired of not being able to feel him properly.

“Let’s get these overalls off of us then. They’re too thick.” You said, snapping the one shoulder piece Xavier had off and letting the top of the overalls slide down, pooling at his waist.

Xavier was more than happy to get out of the pants, lifting his hips as you helped push them off of him. It was your turn to be surprised as you noticed his cock was sitting there, hard and leaking onto his abs. The hoodie was pulled up just enough so it wouldn’t make a mess and your hand trailed over the vein on the underside.

“You went commando?” You asked, hand wrapping around his length, and using the bit of pre he had on his tip, began stroking his cock with ease.

Xavier let out a groan, relaxing on his elbows as he looked at you, “Well it was a bit warm so I decided it would be fine.” He said, hissing when you pressed a bit too roughly on his frenulum.

“So you didn’t have this planned?” You asked, pretending not to notice his small wince as you teased him with the slightest amount of pain. Your thumb rubbed soothingly over the skin as you went back to stroking him normally.

“It certainly wasn’t in the plans when I put…this on. Figured you weren’t about to suggest panda roleplay.” He said, his head thrown back suddenly as he moaned as you picked up your speed.

“Ya, not something I’m into…but you know you do look cute in this hoodie. You could totally rock wearing this thing out casually.” You said, your hand twisting as you gauged how he was reacting.

“Mhn, I’ll wear it out only if you-hah-match w-with me.” Xavier managed to get out through moans. You could tell from the twitch of his cock that he was getting close.

A large hand wrapped around your wrist stopping you from stroking him further. He took a few seconds to breathe, calming himself down from reaching his peak, “I thought you wanted to ride me? If you keep this up you’ll have to wait a while.”

You gave Xavier a flirtatious smirk, leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss, “Fine, I’ll stop, only because if we don’t hurry we’ll miss the ending of the first movie.” You said, glancing up at the screen where the movie continued playing.

Xavier huffed at your attention, watching as you easily slid off your own overalls then tossed your panties next to you. You effortlessly got into position, lining his dick up with your entrance and rubbing it against your slick folds.

After watching you for a moment, Xavier gave a small frown, “I thought you were going to ride me, not tease me.”

You shoot him a wink before speaking, “If you ask me nicely I’ll happily ride you, panda boy.” 

Xavier let out a sigh as he leaned up, capturing your lips with his own then pulling away, “Will you please ride me, starlight?”

You leaned in again, kissing him slowly as you began sinking onto his length. You let out a small moan into his mouth, loving how he stretched you. He always felt so right inside that you practically dreamt about it all the damn time.

You finally got him hilted in you, his cock twitching already. You moved his hoodie up to get a good look at his abs, licking your lips as you got balanced and angled just right. Xavier’s hands went to hold your hips, but you were quick to slap them away.

“Nuh uh, if I let you hold onto me, you’re gonna control the pace, mister. You just strap on in and enjoy the ride.” You scolded and Xavier groaned, rolling his hips into yours and making you gasp, “H-hey, no fair.” You grumbled.

He chuckled as he got back on his elbows, staring up at you seated so perfectly on his cock. You looked like his lap was your own personal throne, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You began lifting off of him, taking your pace as slow and relaxed as you could. You were savoring just feeling him inside of you, how his cock grazed your warm walls every time you sank back down on his length.

“That’s better.” You said, lazily rolling your hips as you continue riding him at your agonizingly slow pace.

“My star, as amazing as you feel, do you think you could…” He trailed off and you tilted your head in mock confusion.

“Could I?” You said, sitting down on his lap fully and waiting for him to tell you what he wanted.

“Go a bit faster?” He huffed out.

You gave a small hum in response, thinking it over, “I dunno Xav, I am just a lazy little panda. I don’t know if I can go much faster than this.” You teased, your hips barely moving as you gave a few shallow strokes.

Xavier let out an annoyed groan, letting you continue to antagonize him for a few more minutes. After he realized you really had no intention of picking up, he rolled his hips up into you harshly. You let out a gasp, almost losing your balance as your hands all but slammed down on his stomach, making him grunt.

You looked up to see him pouting which made you chuckle. Your hands found his cheeks, squishing them together and forcing him to look at you, “Xav, you gotta be patient.” You chided and he just looked away for a moment, his face scrunched up in thought.

His hands went to cup your own, removing them from his cheek as he gave you a heated look, “This panda doesn’t feel like being patient right now.” He commented.

Suddenly his hands were lifting you up and off his lap. In an instant you had been flipped onto your back, Xavier hovering over you as he grabbed two pillows. He placed one under your hips and the other under your head before lining himself up, “I think I’ve been patient enough as is.”

He hoisted both your legs up, wrapping them securely around his hips then entered your warm heat again, groaning at how your walls clenched around him.

“Such an impatient panda.” You teased, chuckling for a moment before it morphed into a long, drawn out moan as he managed to hit your sweet spot within the first few thrusts. Xavier didn’t waste any time picking up a pace that would easily have you both coming in minutes.

Xavier leaned closer, pressing you into what felt like a pretzel as his face was right against yours. His soft pants and groans filled the room alongside your own. His hand went between your bodies, pinching your clit and you let out a mewl.

“Xavier, fuck.” You moaned out, rolling your hips along with his thrust, “Not g-gonna last long like t-this.” You panted.

“I’m not doing much better, your edging has me ready to cum any second.” He said, laying wet kisses along the column of your neck.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you took his brutal pace, the warm coil tightening in your abdomen and threatening to spill over with every quick thrust into you.

“Mind if I breed you? It is mating season after all.” Xavier said, despite the husky hint his voice took on, you could pick up his joking tone anywhere. You let out an annoyed groan, letting him know your displeasure before you broke out into a fit of giggles.

“That’s so lame.” You said between your small laughing fit, Xavier wasn’t doing much better as he laughed alongside you, fighting back the urge to cum as your walls squeezed him as you chuckled.

“You didn't answer me though, and we’re running on limited time.” He said, pressing a small nip to your cheek. 

You once again teased him back, “Fine, fill me up, panda daddy.” You got another nip from him with that comment, alongside him pinching your clit and making your laugh turn into a moan. He rubbed soothing circles along the bud as though apologizing for the rough treatment.

That was enough to send you over the edge, the familiar warmth overtaking your body as your walls spasmed around his length. Xavier let out a small gasp, his cock twitching inside of you. He shot ropes of his warm seed deep into your cunt, painting the walls with the milky substance.

Xavier gave a few more languid strokes inside of you before finally stopping. His face was nuzzling your neck as he occasionally placed a soft kiss there. He looked around after a moment, finding one of the fluffy towels you had used to help cushion the nest you made. He lifted your hips up and placed it under your ass as he pulled out of you.

He watched your combined essence dripped out onto it and you bashfully closed your legs, moving a hand over your mouth as you looked away, “Xav, don’t stare…” You murmured.

“I can’t help it.” he said, moving away so he was no longer right up against you. He gathered another one of those fluffy towels, using it to wipe himself down and then gently went between your legs. You gasped at the sudden sensation as you felt way too sensitive. Xavier cooed, helping you relax as he did his best cleaning you up with what he had on hand.

After he was satisfied, he grabbed your underwear that was basically right next to your head. He slipped them back on, hoping it would keep the rest of his release inside for the time being, “There, all better.”

“Are we not gonna shower after all that?” You asked, feeling the slightest sheen of sweet coating your skin. The hoodie didn’t help the cause as you finally sat up. You groaned as Xavier tossed your overalls onto you, the fabric falling on your face then to your lap.

“Our movie marathon isn’t over…we don’t want to miss the ending of the first one, right?” He teased. You rolled your eyes for the umpteenth time that night as you began putting your overalls back on. You looked over to see Xavier was already clothed and ready.

He grabbed onto your waist and pulled you closer. This time you were both on your stomachs, his arm securely around your back as he grabbed pillows for your heads. You watched Xavier give a small yawn as he tried focusing on the movie, but with how zoned out his eyes seemed to be you knew he wouldn’t be conscious for long.

“Gonna nap?” You asked, tilting your head to rest against his shoulder.

“Just for a few minutes…” A bold faced lie, “Wake me up when the movie ends, okay?”

“Alright Xav.” You said, turning your head to press a kiss against his cheek. You then turned back with the intent to finish this movie series tonight, no matter how many distractions found you.

[shiny-jr]

damnation (peek I?)

Warning: Yes, this is a yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Ace Trappola, Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Riddle Rosehearts.

Summary: When you commit a crime, you receive a punishment. This is especially true in your society. No matter the crime, your punishment is the same: banishment. But to where you will be sent in exile and how miserable will it be? No one knows, because no one has ever returned.

Note: So, as mentioned in previous posts, this is only a snippet of what is to come in a project I’m working on. I just wanted to do something for my followers since we have surpassed the milestone that is 4,000 hearts, which is huge. So thank you! Unfortunately, I don’t really have time for a special like I’ve done before where I accept requests since I’ve been so busy with irl stuff and the current twst quiz project. So here’s a small bit of what you can hopefully expect. Remember, I may or may not change things, so what you see now may not be the same later in the final result. That being said, I’m sorry I couldn’t provide much else besides peeks at three of the seven results. I still have a LOT more to write. Like, a ton. But I hope you all look forward of what is to come. Added: Deleted the Scarabia and Pomefiore part to create their own sneak-peeks later.

I . . . II . . . III . . . IV . . . V . . . VI . . . VII

First there will be questions you must answer. Questions that I will not reveal in this sneak-peek, but based on the answers you give to those questions, you will receive a result with a story. This post is a peek at some of those stories/results. Important things to keep in mind that you learn from the questions: 

The mc is deemed a criminal in their society.

All criminals in this society are banished, no matter how insignificant or significant the crime may be. 

This particular society makes a show of banishment, to make others fear this fate. Which mc recalls seeing trials on tv about past criminals. 

All criminals are never seen or heard from again. No one knows for certain what happens to them, but most assume death. 

Although the most popular fantastical theory is that criminals become henchmen for infamous evil-doers, and receive punishment there that may range from anywhere like a violent painful death to spending eternity in some tiny horrid prison. 

THE RED QUEEN

Robes. You were wearing robes of the finest quality that weighed heavily on your shoulders. This surface you laid on felt... nice. Soft, nothing like the hard bench of the prison cell. As you sat up and recalled your current dire situation, you felt a sense of dread loom overhead like a thick blanket of gray clouds. Immediately, fearfully, you scanned your surroundings. Everything was painted red, there was so much red velvet. The floors were polished checkered black and white and the furniture, if not completely red, was crafted of finely carved wood. It was fancy here. Safe, for now. Wherever this place was.

There was something hefty on your head, only noticing its weight settling on your skull as you moved to stand up from the crimson red sheets on the king-sized mattress. As you removed the item from your head, you were perplexed to see a small golden crown and a heart-shaped staff beside the spot you had laid on. Wait just a moment... red everywhere? A fancy setting? A crown and a heart-shaped staff? Rapidly you dashed over to the mirror just beside the bed, gasping at your appearance.

You were dressed just like royalty. And not just any royalty, like a king. A king of red with a heart-shaped staff... Just like the meek king that was married to the ruthless Queen of Hearts from the fairytales. So it was true, criminals were often sent to dangerous tales where they would perish. And you... you were a criminal and you were here, but... you were the king. How did the story go again?

The Red Queen, or Queen of Hearts, ruled over Wonderland with an iron fist. She would behead anyone who got in her way, and her reign terrorized the residents of the realm. That is, until Alice fell down a hole and arrived in Wonderland. She would eventually free this land from the oppressive rein of the queen. As for the king... what happened to him again? He didn't really appear in the story. You wracked your memory for an answer, when the horrid realization came to you. The Red Queen had been so terribly jealous and suspected that her husband was cheating, that she had him beaded! His head left to rot as it floated in a river of blood, surrounded by the heads of other victims, and the king's lifeless skull still with the crown. He had died before Alice even arrived in Wonderland!

You clutched your neck, grimacing at the thought of your own detached head, crown still attached, doomed to sail in a moat of blood. It made you sick to your stomach just thinking about it. There had to be a way to prevent your death, or at least stall for time, but how? The king couldn't just up and run away! People would take notice immediately, someone would inform the queen, and you'd be a goner for sure! But then what? You couldn't kill her either, could you...? It certainly was an idea. You would be doing a favor for the rest of Wonderland too...

THUMP!

Abruptly the doors flew open, nearly causing you to shriek. But you managed to hold your tongue as you quickly placed your crown back on and clutched your staff. When your eyes focused on the door, you were surprised and almost relieved to see the figure of a short young man that had slammed the doors open. He was... rather adorable, actually. It caused you to tilt your head, endeared by his appearance.

The young man had hair that shamed the red roses, and wide gray eyes. As soon as his eyes landed on you, however, his face grew flush and his expression twisted into one of rage. Immediately he slammed the doors shut behind him, stomping up to you, his heels violently clicking against the tiled floors. When the short young man was in your face, another horrible realization dawned on you. With that crown on his head and his wondrous red garbs, this could only be the queen. Or at least, someone meant to be the red queen.

“You knave! Where have you been lurking?!”

“I…” You were at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say? What was the king even doing before you got here? Most importantly, how would you avoid the queen’s wrath?

At your lack of a response, he only seemed to grow more frustrated as he threw wild accusations, “You–– You’ve been sneaking about, seducing the men of my court, haven’t you?! I shall have your head––!”

“Wha–– N-No, I haven’t!” You blurted out. The king was originally beheaded because the queen was jealous and thought she would lose him to others. So if you could assure him that your heart belonged to him, well… survival just might be possible. Although acting wasn’t necessarily your strong point, you could only try for the sake of living another day. Nervously you smiled, throwing aside your staff as you lifted your hands to gently hold his fist he had been angrily waving near your face. Thank god he didn’t have a knife or anything of the sort, or you feared he may have tried to stab you out of raging envy. “How could I ever dare to throw my loyalty to you away…? You are amazing…! I apologize sincerely if I haven’t been able to express my love for you properly. S-Sometimes it feels like you’re really too much for my heart to handle, you in all your… glory…!” Oh god, this was going terribly. All you could do to give the messy act a bow to top it off, was lean your head down and hesitantly kiss the back of his hand.

Miraculously, that seemed to work. Almost. The queen’s face was no longer as flushed, but he gazed down at you as you lingered at his hand. Suspicion was still evident in his eyes. “How do I know?”

“H-Huh…?”

“How do I know you aren’t lying? How do I know you won’t leave me as well? How do I know that you still love me? Prove it to me.” Those gray eyes of his watched you carefully, seemingly unhappy with your lack of a response. After about five seconds of no answer, his face scrunched up and he bellowed, “Guards!! Gua–– mmph!”

Not knowing what else to do, you kissed him. He wanted a sign of devotion, right? Oh god, this was it. Your death was here and now. You had no other way to shut him up. If you covered his mouth with your hands, you were a goner. If you attacked him, you were a goner. If you tried to continue reasoning, you were still a goner! You can’t believe that this was how you died, having to kiss a stranger as your last desperate attempt to live. Well, he wanted a sign. You were ready for him to push you off and armored guards come running in to drag you to the guillotine, when the most unexpected thing happened. He froze, he didn’t fight back or scream bloody murder.

When you slowly pulled away, you were stunned. His face was flush again, but for an entirely different reason other than anger. There was a dazed look on his face, and it almost looked as if he wanted to do it again judging by how he gazed longingly at your lips. It was then you understood that your reckless decision making might’ve just saved your neck.

The red ruler frowned, but you were unsure if it was because he was unsatisfied with something or if it were for another reason entirely. This time, when he opened his mouth, he spoke softly, as if still dazed. “You scoundrel… How dare you play with my heart like this? I should still take your head for that.” You gulped, but he continued. “But… I truly didn’t want to get rid of you. So I’m glad we can avoid that now. I expect to see you well away from the noblemen.”

“Y-Yes… Your Majesty.”

At your obedient response, he smiled and patted your head. “Good.” Taking one step closer, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek. He lingered there for a few moments, before taking one step back.

The action left you flustered, embarrassed, because not only had you kissed a stranger but they had kissed you in return. And not only that, this crimson ruler believed you were his partner, the king! Under normal circumstances, you would’ve considered yourself lucky to land in such a position since the king has so much power and wealth. But in this type of situation, you can only shudder to think of what may come next and what would’ve become of you. Because these were no ordinary circumstances, and this was no normal kind ruler.

“Come along now. I don’t want you alone, do you understand?”

“Yes… Your Majesty.”

He beckoned you towards the very doors he entered from, and when he opened them, you were met with another character. It was a tall man with glasses and short messy dark green hair. Immediately he bowed to the queen, but when his eyes landed on you, he looked as if he saw a ghost.

“Change of plans, Trey. We will not be beheading my dear today. Nor tomorrow, I think. They’ve become quite affectionate, so my doubts have been dismissed.”

“O-Of course, Your Majesty…” The glass-wearing man, Trey, glanced over at you with disbelief, but he looked a bit relieved, it’s as if he wanted to say something. But he opted to hold his tongue and instead shifted his gaze forward as he walked beside the red-haired royal. “There is still that soldier imprisoned that displeased you.”

“Ah yes, the one that claimed to see those messy blonde locks but failed to capture our lost wanderer. Bring him to me in the throne room.” Just then he glanced at you as you walked a bit behind him, “My dear, you must be there with me. This should be quite the spectacle. I will see you in a moment.”

“A-As you say, Your Majesty…” You replied stiffly.

He frowned and stopped in his tracks before grabbing your collar and bringing your face closer to his. What you half expected was a sharp knife against your throat, something that would kill you, but there was no such thing. There was only his sharp gaze and disappointed tone. “You’re supposed to respond with: my dear. Not Your Majesty, not Rosehearts, but perhaps I’ll allow Riddle for now. Do you understand, dearest?”

So his name was Riddle. Judging by Riddle’s tone, he wasn’t angry, but rather irked that all the sweetness from earlier was now gone. Proceeding, you chose your words carefully as you attempted to smile as convincingly as possible, “Y-Yes, of course, anything you say, Riddle, my darling.”

At your words his cheeks became a pink hue before he let go of you and cleared his throat, quickly turning away and proceeding forward towards the end of the hall where he had whatever duties to fulfill. So you were left with Trey, his subordinate. The calm tall man’s shoulders sagged once the royal left, all the tension seemingly evaporating from his body. When he gave you a somewhat soft smile, your worries ceased for the moment as well. “I’m glad you’re still intact. I was certain you were a goner.” He was… nice? “You need to be more careful. I don’t know what you did to change Riddle’s mind, but he was ready to behead you himself. You know how he keeps that huge battle ax under his bed. He mentioned something about using that, and I thought he was going to use it to chop your head clean off.”

Oh god. That little guy was going to do that? That stupid kiss really did save your skin. “Heh, I’m still a little shaken…” Wait, you were supposed to be acting like the king! What did the king even act like? How were you supposed to know? He never even lived long enough to make it into the story! “I, um, am very appreciative towards your concern… Trey.”  

Trey appeared a bit surprised but he then smiled once more at you. “We’ll talk more later. Right now, we have a situation on our hands.”

What kind of situation? You didn’t even have time to ask when Trey led you down the checkered hall to an opening behind velvet red curtains which were the entrance directly to the large elegant throne room. There, you saw another stranger talking animatedly to the less-than-pleased-looking Rosehearts. This stranger had orange hair that brushed against his lower neck, and he had much more enthusiasm than those you had encountered thus far.

“Dear, there you are.” Instantly Riddle visibly brightened up as he gestured to the soft smaller heart-shaped throne beside his much larger grand seat. “Come, sit, we’re currently discussing the important matters at hand. Such as the dilemma with our prisoner. Cater, continue.”

When this Cater, fellow’s, green eyes trailed over to you, they became filled with surprise as he fumbled over his words, “Huh–– O-Oh! Right!” Forcing his gaze back on the red-haired royal, he began explaining, “There’s nothing really new to talk about, Your Majesty! I mean, seriously, this rookie was just the unlucky one that happened to see that blondie Ellis. According to him when I went to question him, he just said that he saw the guy in blue and when he went to confront him, Ellis escaped with some purple beastman!”

“Purple beastman…?” For a mere moment he appeared perplexed, when quickly the dots began to connect in his mind as he gasped, “Chen’ya! Why, the nerve of that––!”

When you saw his face begin to heat up again and a look of anger crossed his face, you slowly placed your hand over his arm that rested on the armrest of the throne. Then, he froze, everyone else, Trey, Cater, the few servants, the many armored guards in the room, they all were wide-eyed at what you had done. You had touched the queen when they were about to enter a fit of rage! You messed up–– Shit––

Riddle released a slow breath before placing his other hand atop your own. You felt such a massive flood of relief knowing you made the right move when he appeared much calmer as he nodded his head toward you, “Thank you, my dear. We shall discuss a proper punishment for that wretched feline later. For now…” Instantly his voice did a one-eighty as he turned his head toward the two imposing doors and shouted, “Bring him!!”

Nervously you looked over at Trey who stood tall and upright by Riddle’s side, and he remained oddly focused on the door. And that orange-haired guy, Cater, where did he go…?

“Hey…!”

Your eyes flittered over to you right where Cater was bent over a bit to whisper in your ear, while everyone else was distracted by the prisoner being escorted inside.

“I’m so happy that you’ve alive…! Don’t go dying on me so quickly, ‘kay? You wouldn’t leave me all alone here, would you?”

“Uh… no, of course not.” Huh. This Cater guy seemed pretty close to the king, or now you actually.

When you averted your eyes to the front, you listened to the clacking of armor as you watched more soldiers bring forward one of their own. Yet unlike all the others masked by metal, this soldier in shackles didn’t have a helmet. His messy red hair stuck out every which way, which made you wonder how on earth he even managed to fit that mess of hair under a helmet at all. His eyes were glued to the floor, and he wore a stiff frown as his shackles rattled with every step he took until he was right before the steps leading up to the red royal. When he refused to kneel, he was pushed down to his knees as Riddle eyed him with disdain.

Riddle wasted no time, because as soon as this prisoner was on his knees, he began his tirade of questions. “Ace Trappola, was it? We know you saw Ellis. Do you know where he is?”

The soldier’s head lolled forward a bit, his warm-colored eyes stopping on you for a moment as you gazed back at him. In a way, this Ace reminded you of… well, you. In shackles, forced to kneel, in front of a higher authority that was obviously not particularly fond of you, and likely with a sentence that could only mean your doom ahead of you. In a way, you did feel for him after hearing the basis of why he was arrested.

All was silent, only his shackles could be heard again as he slowly shrugged and snapped back, “I’d like to know that too! I mean, I’m sure wherever he is, he’s free as a bird. Meanwhile, me? Locked up for trying to do my job––!”

“Failing to do your only job.” Riddle corrected with a scoff. “I will ask you one more time. Where. Is. Ellis?”

Ace, still annoyed, continued. He must’ve been either stupid or brave for continuing. Although it might’ve been both as he mocked him. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? I. Don’t. Know.”

Under your hand you felt Riddle’s fingers dig into the armrest, his knuckles growing white as he raised his voice an octave, “What if I take off your head? Will you know then?”

“If you took my head, you wouldn’t get any answers after that.” He retorted with a slight eye roll.

Underneath your hand you could feel Roseheart’s anger growing the tighter he dug his nails into the chair. When you saw his face, you and everyone else could tell that he was fit to burst, no doubt ready to seal this soldier’s doom. Instantly you shot up from your throne, wanting to help save this prisoner. However, you very quickly began to regret it when all eyes darted over to your form, and you now became the center of attention. You couldn’t just sit back down, so with no other choice, you awkwardly cleared your throat and proceeded nervously, “My dearest, earlier when in our chambers I had an… um… epiphany! A vision! Y-Yes, I had a vision…! Ellis will slay your–– our, pet dragon jabberwocky.”

Instantly Riddle’s eyes widened. “He killed our jabberwocky?!”

“No…! No, at least not yet!”

Technically you weren’t lying. The story goes that the Red Queen had a powerful dragon, the jabberwocky, which was the main reason why she could keep such a grip on the kingdom with no rebellion ever coming close to dethroning her. At least, that is until Alice comes along and slays the jabberwocky. If you could somehow get rid of Alice, or Ellis in this case, and stay in Riddle Roseheart’s good graces, you would have it made! It was practically certain that the court back home thought you would’ve been beheaded already and your head would float in that river of blood for eternity. Yet here you were, alive, and if things went smoothly, you could live out your life in splendor here. Yes, you’d have to deal with the red royal, but if you could just stay in his good graces at all times, you would have a wonderfully lavish life! At this point you were just speeding things up, Ellis’ intentions of slaying the jabberwocky probably weren’t supposed to be revealed until much later. But, it would make a perfect excuse now.

As all eyes remained on you, you recounted your fake tale, “It all makes sense now…! In… In my vision I saw… A red-haired knight, um, clashing swords with a blonde man in blue and white!” Well, that part was a lie. There never was a red-haired knight in the stories. But this was an opportunity to potentially save Ace as well, and give him a chance to redeem himself in Riddle’s eyes. When you turned to face Ace, he was gazing at you with furrowed eyebrows, but you proceeded anyway as you gave your attention to Riddle now. “Riddle, I think–– I mean, I b-believe that knight is this one here in front of us.”

“Him?” The royal exclaimed in disbelief, looking at the soldier with something akin to disgust. To which the said soldier stuck out his tongue before a stern glare from Trey and Cater made Ace close his mouth. Riddle blinked, quiet for a moment before gazing up at you, his expression softening as he flipped over his hand so it held yours. “Is that what you were doing in our chambers alone? You were studying texts and had a vision, to save me?”

“Y…Yes…?”

His big gray eyes became fixated on you, as his voice became soft when he replied, “I’ve misjudged you, my dear… I believed you were being unfaithful, but you were working hard for me. How wrong I was.” The way he looked at you could only be described as adoringly.

It made you nervous, but you could only awkwardly smile in return. In order to ensure your own life of comfort here, you had to be sure to ruin the plot of the story. This meant that Ellis, the protagonist, could not win no matter what. Although it pained you to do such a thing, knowing that the outcome would most likely mean death by beheading him and his allies, you were more afraid of death than you were of the hero. For this, you would have to make sure the antagonist, Riddle Rosehearts in the role of the Red Queen, obtained a happy ending instead of a bad ending where he himself would be banished after being defeated by Ellis.

Clearing your throat, you hesitantly listed off the sequence of events in the way you recalled them playing out, “In my vision I saw… a blonde boy in blue, a purple feline beastmen, and a hatter, among other allies. Ellis will… will attempt to infiltrate the palace, and gain your favor under a disguise, and steal the ancient sword that can slay our Jabberwocky.” As all eyes and ears remained on you, you hesitated once again, mentally apologizing for what you were about to do. Maybe in the end, you might be able to plead with your supposed spouse to spare them. But deep down, you knew it was unlikely for the ruthless tyrant to even consider the idea. “Your Majesty, my darling, i-if I may make a suggestion…?”

Riddle nodded as he listened attentively, “Go on.”

Thankfully you had moved your hands away from his, and had them folded in your lap so he couldn’t feel the way your fingers trembled with anxiety. “I would like to suggest we allow this knight before us to carry the sword, sheathed and hidden at all times. Let this be his redemption–– um, please, if you allow it, your Majesty.” Said knight gazed up in surprise. “It would be best to keep sir Ace in our sights. So might I ask that he and another capable knight become my guards?” Guards. Smart move, especially if things get hairy later. “I-I’d also like to suggest an increase in your personal escorts too… my dear. So… so you’ll be safe. And, no one else besides those in this room, will know of what we spoke of today––”

“That way, Ellis will come here all on his own, and if he searches for the sword it will not be there.” Riddle finished, to which you nodded. He caught on quickly. “That’s brilliant!” You nearly breathed a sigh of relief as the red royal turned to glance at his two subordinates, Trey and Cater, only to gesture to the former prisoner and demand of them, “Unbind him, Trey. How can he wield a sword if his hands are bound?”

Trey slowly stepped forward as Ace was allowed to stand, and he unlocked the shackles around the knight. Ace continued to peer up at you, suddenly flashing a grateful smile. To which you only caught a glimpse of before being distracted by the redhead on the throne.

“Cater!” Cater stood upright immediately and awaited orders from the royal. “Find a suitable knight to escort my partner! I expect only the strongest and most obedient of knights! Am I understood?”

“You got it, Your Majesty! I already have a few in mind.”

“Wonderful. I will be interviewing them myself, as well as hand-picking my own escorts.” Riddle stood from his throne, tossing out more commands and orders to be followed by his remaining subordinate and the guards that had escorted the former prisoner. “You lot, I want an increase on the perimeter and another search crew to hunt down that wretched boy Ellis! Trey, go and fetch the sword. As for you, Ace Trappola,” Turning to face the knight, he warned, “You have one more chance. Should you fail a second time, there will be no do-overs. Your head will roll and your family shall pay the price for your mistakes.”

For a mere moment, disbelief and anger flashed on Ace’s face. Just as he opened his mouth, you spoke up, “T-Thank you, Your Majesty…! You really are so… merciful.” Better to be a pawn in this game than to be dead.

Riddle turned his attention to you before smiling, such a true and proud smile as he declared, “I have you to thank for this, for saving my kingdom and protecting me. Once we have Ellis and his companions captured, we will have a morning execution for him, with front row seats to the show." As his eyes drifted back to the onlookers, he commanded, "All of you shall speak nothing of what transpired in this room.”

A chorus of Yes, Your Majesty echoed in the chamber. The royal nodded, content for now, sending you one last smile before turning on his heels and walking off to elsewhere with Cater in tow. Leaving you alone with Trey and Ace as all other attendants and soldiers exited the throne room to go fulfill their duties.

Just for a moment, you wanted to talk to Ace alone. There was something about Trey, something about the way he watched you so calmly but there was something in those yellow eyes behind those glasses. Something that made it seem like he knew your secret, like he knew you were not really the king. You weren’t sure if it was your paranoia getting to you and your mind was just playing tricks on you, but you wanted to distance yourself as far away from him as possible. As the former prisoner made his way towards you, you cleared your throat and spoke quietly, but loud enough for Trey to hear. “Can–– M-May I have a word with you, sir Ace…? In private.”

“Sure, I’m free now.” He half joked, giving a bit of a grin which didn’t do much to ease your worries.

Trey stood beside the empty throne, watching as you glanced over at him and made a gesture for him to carry on with the assigned duty of retrieving the legendary sword, as dictated by His Majesty. To which he did, after he carefully observed the way you scurried behind velvet curtains with the knight not too far behind.

When you were finally out of sight with Ace, you noticed his raised eyebrow. Noticing this and the way he tapped his foot, you hesitated, unsure where you were even going with this or what you should do now. “You… You look like you have something to say.”

“Why’d you save me?” He demanded, all that cheerfulness from before gone now as things took a serious turn. Looking you up and down, he crossed his arms and continued, “You could’ve had your cute little hubby chop off my head like all the others before me. So, say it. That’s the reason you wanted to talk alone, isn’t it?”

He got you. Were you that obvious? You’d definitely have to work on being more discreet… Looking around twice to make sure no one was listening in, you huddled with him in a corner by the stained glass windows as you whispered hurriedly, in a panic, “O-Okay, whew, you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but… I’m not really the king, or queen, or whatever role I’m supposed to play here! Well, I guess I am now? Uhhh… h-here! It’s like this: I was put on trial in my homeworld, and as punishment I was banished. When I woke up, I was in Roseheart’s bed and he started talking to me like I was an unfaithful partner! I didn’t understand it, until I realized that it was all exactly like a story I read as a child. My punishment was to become the king that dies by being beheaded by his own wife! I… I got out of that somehow, and now, well…”

Ace was looking at you as if you were crazy, as if you had grown an extra head or something. His arms were crossed and he continued to stare at you. Should you have done that? Could you trust him? Well, he did owe you his life. If things really came down to it, you could have him arrested again and beheaded. Play the victim, call guards, and make up some lie that he attacked you, but you really really didn’t want it to go like that… Finally, after a few seconds, he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle, as if he couldn’t even believe it. “Hold on, let me get this straight: You’re not royalty, but you’re a criminal from another world? Did you hit your head or something?”

You knew it. He wouldn’t believe you after all.

“I mean, they keep saying this Ellis loser came from another world too… So… Maybe your story doesn’t sound too crazy after all.” His scarlet eyes focused on the floor, as if considering something. “You really weren’t lying about knowing the future. And I thought you had gone mad or something! So I’m a hero in the story?”

You could only scratch your arm nervously, a bit regretful for having to crush his sudden burst of excitement. “Ahaha… not exactly? I made that part up…”

Disappointed at the revelation that he wasn’t some badass hero wielding a legendary sword, he scoffed, “Seriously? So why save me then?”

“Look…” You took a deep breath, hiding your fidgeting fingers in your palm as best as you could. “We were both supposed to die. At least my character was mentioned in the story, but you? Y-You weren’t even mentioned at all…! You were just a nameless faceless soldier, someone not even worth mentioning��–”

Offended, he snapped back, “Faceless? Rude much!”

You quickly shushed him, internally freaking out at the prospect that you may have been overheard. But when nothing else and no one else stirred, you frowned and muttered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just really nervous… I guess what I’m trying to get at here is… why don’t we both help each other survive?”

“What?” Shaking his head in disbelief. First this person called him someone not even worth mentioning then they ask for his help? Seriously, what was with them?

“T-Think about it…! I’m the second most powerful person in the entire kingdom…! I know what will happen! Kinda…”

“Well, I do want to live just as badly as you do…” It appeared he was still on the fence. Leaning his weight against the wall, he demanded, “But what do you mean you kinda know what will happen? I thought you, for sure, know.”

“Um…” Twiddling your fingers, you hesitantly explained the dilemma, “I did mention we were both supposed to die… And while that part isn’t a lie and the whole you being the destined one to stop Ellis was a lie, the other thing I didn’t lie about was Ellis gathering with his allies to infiltrate the palace and acquire the sword to kill the Jabberwocky. That will actually happen. S-So, since I told everyone that––”

“Let me guess, you told it early?”

Freezing, you gazed up at him and murmured, “H-How did you…?”

He shrugged, “I would’ve done the same thing if I were in your position. That means a higher chance of survival, right? Assuming that the blonde is the good guy and our king Rosehearts is the bad guy of the story. And considering all that, now you have no idea how the story will be affected, right?”

“R-Right…” Wait, now it just looked like you were useless! Immediately interjecting, you added, “But I can still make predictions based on what I know, like how things were originally supposed to play out…!”

“And you are still technically a royal…” Ace placed a finger to his chin, probably thinking about possible outcomes, upsides, and downsides if he agreed to work together. Finally, when his gaze flittered back to you and you stood upright, he questioned, “What if things don’t go how we–– you plan?”

You actually considered this briefly. If everything came crumbling down and all plans failed, there was but one last option to avoid any punishment. “Find Ellis and the White Queen… or is it the White King? I-It doesn’t matter…! The point is, the White Royal is very kind and merciful. If I go to them and explain that I am not really the Red King’s consort, then they’ll spare me…! If you come too and bring the sword to slay the Jabberwocky, that will assure them of our good intentions!”

“Isn’t that just running away? I don’t want to do that. And come on, the Whites? Are you for real? I thought us Reds were bad, but those pristine prissy little killjoys are no fun.”

For a second you wanted to strangle him. What kind of idiot would risk certain death by staying here if everything goes south, instead of fleeing to a good place that would grant you sanctuary? “It’s exactly running away, that’s the point…! The point is to stay alive!”

The redhead tilted his head to the side, his disappointed and serious behavior disappearing as he grinned. “What if I became king?”

Now it was your turn to look at him as if he were the insane one. Was this knight actually the mad hatter that had been driven insane by mercury poisoning?

“I do owe you one for saving my neck back there. And I won’t lie, I’ve dreamed about being king one day. And you, you’re actually way more ruthless than you seem at first. I thought you were a scared little wimp that always cowers behind their little hubby husband.” He mocked. Ouch. He thought you were a wimp…? “But turns out, I was so wrong about you. Sounds like you’re willing to do whatever it takes to live another day. Even turn on your own husband!”

He was whisper yelling, and it was starting to make you anxious that someone would overhear. So you whisper yelled back at a lower volume, “S-Stop that…! You know the truth, he’s not really my husband…”

That smirk made you think that he was going to respond in a louder voice, but thankfully he wasn’t that stupid. Just stupid enough to plan to overthrow the bloody Red King and talk about it in his own palace. But maybe you were stupid too, for talking about such delicate matters in the palace halls. Ace took your hands and performed a mock bow. “No running away, you got it? I’ll take that tiny red punk’s crown and become king, then I’ll keep you as a royal beside me, it’s the least I can do after what you did. We’ll both not only survive, but thrive. What do you say, Your Majesty~?”

[hqlmsbury]

A good girls guide to murder tv show review

Haven’t been on here in a hot sec but I just really feel like venting about this show. I LOVE the books they are incredible and pip and Ravi are SOSO special. The tv show had all the capabilities to be a great adaptation, I don’t mind minor changes that make it easier for first time viewers but a lot of it rubbed me the wrong way. Here are some of my thoughts so spoilers ahead!

• nats character. What in the actual world made them decide to merge Nat with (Chloe? I think was the name) Andies other best friend. It changed Nats ENTIRE character. It lost that interest factor which made it seem like Nat really could be the bad guy, it felt unnecessary and disappointing to her character

• my pipravi moments. Why was there not one single Pipravi moment that was the same in the books. Literally not one. Pip doesnt share her location so Ravi has to go to Cara at the end. Ravi doesn’t go into Becca’s house at first because he’s scared, rightfully so but Ravi would never have endangered Pip like that! Ravi wanting to move away immediately after they figured out sals innocence???? The moments they got lacked the essential chemistry that all those little moments had. There was no reason for Pip to go into Becca’s house alone Ravi easily could’ve went with her just like in the book and we could’ve gotten the “real men wear floral while trespassing” line. Those small but important moments that make the characters and the relationship.

• Pip was not as smart as in the books. I sort of understand why they made it seem that way as they had to progress the show quicker but I think certain things were handed to her. Finding Howie was one of those scenes why was it so quick, easy, and almost painless. And later on he’s barely mentioned at all. Where was the blackmailing?!?!

• going of the last point why did Naomi tell Pip about Maxs secret instagram, again it made it seem like pip could not figure it out herself, there was no sneaking around and logging into Naomi’s computer. It was all handed to her

• the girl in Mr. Wards attic. Why did she know who she was lol? I think it unfairly made it look like Mr. Ward was more evil than he really was. In the book he really did think it was Andie and that he was helping her. Keeping this girl “trapped” in his attic because he told her he killed Sal was also an unnecessary part of the story.

• having Victor Amobi be suspected?!?!? What in the world was that. It added drama that was completely unnecessary to the story, Victor is such a great character and he is so special to Pip in the books. I feel adding that was something they tried to do to “spice things up” when sticking to the original storyline would’ve been a much better path.

• Barney’s death. I can’t recall if it was ever mentioned Becca was the one who killed Barney but again where was that suspenseful feeling? And also this was a purposeful kill when in the books Becca actually did release Barney and he was killed on accident.

• a couple of little things. I felt like the actors they cast for Pips friend group looked way older, however Asha who plays Cara grew on me and I really enjoyed her as Cara.

If they make a second season I will watch it and hope for better and hopefully they get more funding and Holly is more involved with the script. These are only a few of the things I was disappointed about because overall I don’t think it did the books justice at all. I enjoyed pip as Emma and think Zain did a good job with Ravi considering the script they had.

[cosplayinamerica]

Cosplayer : @scrappercostuming / media @making.with.megan

The Classic Batman TV series, to my memory was my first real exposure to superhero media- my parents were both the right age to watch the show growing up, and around the time I was 4 or 5 I remember knowing when Batman would air on TV land in the evenings. Even as a kid I remember loving how over-the-top the show was, even being amazed that the Batmobile had its own computer. I’d watch the movie very frequently on DVD on car rides, the Shark Repellant Bat-Spray and the bomb run scenes especially stuck with me (as I’m sure they do most people) I had watched all the movies that came after it, and though I thought they were great, Adam West always immediately came to mind whenever I’d think of Batman.

What I did NOT really expect though was the level of interaction that this character can evoke at conventions. The bomb was always a clear accessory choice to bring to conventions because of how famous that scene is, but I remember the first time I wore the costume this incredible thing happening where I decided to lift the bomb over my head and start running, and the crowds of people IMMEDIATELY recognized what was happening and parted to allow me through. In those moments, it felt like even more of my responsibility to bring the spirit of the Bright Knight as much as I could.

My absolute favorite part about wearing it, especially at New York Comic Con, is the discussions I get to have with people about the show. I don’t think i really understood just how special this version of Batman was to so many people beforehand. Getting to talk wit people about fond memories of their childhood watching the show as it released, perhaps people recalling being introduced to the show by their own parents, and parents explaining who Adam West and his Batman were always bring a smile to my face, knowing that all sorts of extremely different people share similar fond memories as I do with the character makes me happy to have brought the suit out and been able to put a nostalgic smile on their face. At this year’s NYCC when I wore it, perhaps my favorite memory in it was a father asking me to take a photo with his young son, who was dressed in a Pattinson style batman outfit- there was just some symbolism present there that reminded me of how crazy this incredible cross-generational impact of Batman as a character is, and makes me think about how much of that wouldn’t have happened had Adam West never put on the cowl.

[storyofmychoices]

Lilah Jessica Rose (Crimes of Passion)

[Trystan Thorne x Lilah Rose Masterlist]

What's in a Name? (That which we call a Rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.)

Lilah (lie-lah) has a few meanings depending on the culture and its origin. It can be a derivation of Delilah, Leila, and Lilith. Lilah means delicate, night, and night beauty (Hebrew and Arabic). It can also mean night monster (Hebrew). Lilah also means tulip (Persian).

Jessica (jess-ih-cah) means "God Beholds" or "she will see". Jessica was first used in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice

Rose (rohz) means a flower, a rose

Nicknames: canon nicknames + Lala (when she was younger), Veronica (as in Mars, when she started playing detective in school)

DOB: August 27 (age 33) Zodiac: Virgo Personality: logical, hardworking, observant, reliable, loyal, kind hearted, stubborn, overly independent, sometimes hypercritical and nit-picky

Love Interest: Trystan Thorne

Hair: Medium to Dark Brown, generally down with waves Eye Color: Brown Alternative Hair/Eye Color: She often wears wigs and colored contacts if she has to go undercover.

Height: 5'7" (1.7m)

FC: Troian Bellisario

Hometown: New York, NY

Parents: James "Jimmy" Rose (father ✝), Mirabella "Mira" Rose (née Rossi) (mother)

Pets: Marple (boxer, dog)

Education: John Jay College of Criminal Justice: Bachelors in Criminal Justice and a minor in Criminology, summa cum laude ; NYPD Police Academy; Detective Training through the NYPD

Occupations:

Private Investigator (current)

Bartender at the Drunk Tank (current/as needed)

NYPD Homicide Unit (former)

Barista (to pay for college and her coffee addiction) (former, being a barista not the coffee addiction)

Fun Facts / Things to know

Lilah has always been observant and aware of her surroundings, even as a child she could recall details about places she'd been and people she'd met briefly.

Lilah is a coffee connoisseur. She has a deep appreciation for coffee and considers it an essential part of her daily routine. While she has her favorite roasts, bean type, and variety of order, when it comes down to it, she's not picky. Coffee is coffee and bad coffee is better than no coffee.

Lilah does not have a lot of dating experience. Once her father died, she closed herself off for a few years, and then turned her focus on the job. She takes great pride in her work and has never regretted her choice.

Lilah generally enjoys detective shows but she can't figure out if she likes the shows or just critiquing them and pointing out errors or ways the detective could have done something differently.

Lilah loves the show Psych. She thinks its outrageously ridiculous but that some how makes it even better. She doesn't even bother trying to critique it, she just went along for the ride. She does at time ask herself "how many hats are in the room?" or a similarly appropriate question to keep her mind sharp and actively observing her surroundings.

Lilah is allergic to fresh pineapple.

Lilah loves puzzles and mind teasers.

Art Gifts

Lilah Rose headshot by lilyoffandoms

Lilah Rose in bed by lilyoffandoms

Lilah at the beach by lilyoffandoms

Outfit Alternatives:

Lilah's dress for the Governor's ball (COP1)

Lilah's undercover socialite outfit (COP2)

Lilah's dress for dinner with the Thornes (COP2)

Lilah's coronation dress (COP2)

Asks + Other Things

Summer Character Challenge

Business Card

Favorite TV

Learn more about Lilah through different summer prompts

[original dossier post here]

[kishigunpla]

Let's Read: A Requiem for Char: The Red Comet of My Youth - Chapter 2

by Shūichi Ikeda

This post will be an overview of the second chapter, And Then I Met “Him”

Here’s a link to a summary of Chapter 1, covering Ikeda’s early acting career.

When we last left off, Ikeda had just auditioned for the role of Amuro Ray, though without much enthusiasm. He recalls wondering if Matsuura had asked him to try out for the role because he had the image of him in Jiro Monogatari in his mind. But regardless, Ikeda was much more interested in the drinking party afterward than anything about the audition.

While waiting for Matsuura to get ready to leave, Ikeda spotted some production materials on the reception room table. Though not particularly interested at first, he remembers flipping through the pages and being immediately drawn in by Yoshikazu Yasuhiko’s character art. And one in particular caught his eye -

Ikeda: Among them, my eyes were glued to the drawing of a certain character, a young officer wearing a mask. He had a different kind of elegance and demeanor than the other characters. When I looked at the illustrations of his facial expressions and standing poses, it inspired me to think, "I wonder if this guy would talk like this," or "I wonder if he would say something like this."

His name, Char Aznable.

Inspired by what he had seen, Ikeda went back to Matsuura and asked if he could record some samples for Char. Though slightly shocked by Ikeda's sudden change of heart, Matsuura agreed.

At the pub later, after a few drinks Matsuura asked him if he'd like to play Char. Ikeda agreed, and Matsuura happily replied "Ok, it's decided!"

Ikeda: Even if I look back on it myself, I think, "It's like a drama," but this is the truth of how I met "him".

The truth, however, was much more complicated. Ikeda didn't know at the time, but another actor had already been lined up for the role. It took some pulling strings behind the scenes by both Matsuura and producer Yasuo Shibue to change things in time for production.

Ikeda: It's all in hindsight, but I always think that some coincidences have fatefully linked me and Char, and that it's the good fortune that I got from the talents and cooperation of various people. It was a truly blessed meeting for both me and Char.

When recording began, Ikeda recounts how immediately he knew Mobile Suit Gundam was something different, even just from the opening narration. His prejudice against robot anime was quickly disappearing.

Ikeda: The scene where Char appears on the TV screen for the first time is a cut where the camera rises from his feet toward Char's face, and the way he appeared was just wonderful and cool. "Who is this guy??" It’s full of charm that draws in the viewer.

In the studio, each actor's mic was in a specific position. On the left side were those playing characters in the Federation, and the right side, Zeon. Ichirō Nagai, who played Dren, was always sitting next to him.

Ikeda was a fan of Nagai's previous dubbing work and excited to record with him. Just like Char benefited from having a solid military aide like Dren by his side, Ikeda was very grateful to have someone experienced like Nagai with him.

Three months into dubbing, Ikeda already felt he had a pretty good understanding of Char and the direction he wanted to take the character. Neither Matsuura or Director Tomino seemed to have any objections, and Ikeda adds that since Char is such a beloved character even now, perhaps his direction really was the right one. 

Much of the focus of this chapter is specific instances from the anime that Ikeda feels highlights one of the strengths of the show as a whole - the drama created by contrasts in each character's personality and temperament, and how they interact with each other. 

One of the scenes he notes is Char in the bar listening to Gihren's speech in episode 12.

A man approaches, but Char can see through him as a Zeon spy just by the "smell" (atmosphere) he gives off. It's a simple conversation, but Char is able to immediately turn the tables and gain the upper hand. In contrast to Gihren's speech, which is gradually gaining momentum, the two's calm bargaining gives a contrast to the drama.

Another is episode 44, when Lalah asks Char to wear his normal suit while in battle.

Ikeda: To put it in vulgar terms, it's the same feeling as if your lover who lives with you is telling you, "It looks like it's going to rain today, so take an umbrella with you."

Ikeda: A good sense of warmth flows between the two of them. I tried to create an atmosphere that would make all the men in the world envy them, so I was allowed to play the role with a bit of a wet (softer) touch.

He also notes Char and Sayla's interactions towards the end of the show, specifically in the final episode where Char tells Sayla: "You’re an adult already (too)” (お前ももう大人だろ), the key point here being the “も”, or “too”.

Ikeda: I performed this scene with the intention of expressing that both Artesia and I have grown up, whether we like it or not, and that each of us has our own path to take, and that we can no longer go back to the old days.

Regarding the end of the show itself, interestingly Ikeda expresses some reservations about how Char’s story continued in Zeta and Char's Counterattack. To him, Char’s own war ended the moment he got his final revenge on the Zabi family by shooting Kycilia.

Ikeda: Is Char Aznable the kind of man who would accept a beating from Kamille or start a war in pursuit of Lalah's shadow? He is not the kind of man who would sit back and let his own style be denied to him, but he's more mature and stubborn, isn't he?

Ikeda: In the final scene of the theatrical version of "Mobile Suit Gundam III Encounters in Space", he becomes a crew member of a space battleship and departs from the earth sphere. There could not be a better scene for Char to conclude his story.

Finally, Ikeda talks about his interactions with Gundam fans at the time. 

As the popularity of the anime increased, larger and larger groups of fans would gather outside the studio. The crowds eventually got so bad that the hotel next door started complaining to them. Yet despite the number of people, Ikeda comments on how mature and well behaved these fans were, especially compared to something like idol fans.

Ikeda explains that he’s very careful about how he acts around fans, as he doesn’t want to ruin the image they have of “Char Aznable” as a character. For that reason, he is very particular about choosing public events to attend.

Ikeda: My private life and Char's image are separate, but when I stand in front of my fans, I act with an awareness that I am Char. As a voice actor, this is the minimum courtesy for the fans, and I think it's a matter of pride as a voice actor. At the very least, I hope that the long-time fans who support Char, who I play, will also support my attitude.

~

That's all for Chapter 2. As before, I had to leave quite a bit out in this summary, but I hope you found it interesting to read!

[clotpolesonly]

@morocorra BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

well, i definitely did not, let's talk about Adam impersonating Gansey

so there's a lot to unpack here, obviously, and i am of two minds on the matter. well, ok, i'm of more than two minds. at least three or four minds. i'm conflicted, is what i'm saying here. there are pros and cons to this whole little sequence.

let's start out with the obvious: it was SO unnecessary. they literally didn't have to do this. it doesn't line up with anything in book canon and it didn't serve much of a practical purpose within the show canon that couldn't have been covered elsewhere.

if i recall correctly, in the books, the information about Whelk's father's embezzlement was given to the reader through the narration in Whelk's POV chapters. we don't get that kind of exposition handed to us on screen, we need to see and/or hear it more directly somehow, but it would've been fairly easy to either show it as part of the Noelk flashback sequence or to just have Noah or Whelk outright tell us/another character about it.

usually i'm all for showing and not telling, but sometimes it really is as simple as "my dad got arrested, the bank took all our money, i needed the glendower favor to get it back". instead of using up 20 minutes of screentime on having a main character sneak off, disguise himself as someone else, charm his way into city hall to illegally access police records that i don't think realistically would even be available at city hall in the first place, and then bring that same information back to his friends while refusing to provide them with any context on where or how he got it.

(honestly, he probably could've just fucking googled the Whelk name. was there no press coverage for this at all? come on, man)

so anyway, none of this needed to happen. like, i can see why they thought it might've been a more interesting way to convey that information, but really it just robbed us of a lot of their already very limited screentime. they crammed two whole books into 8 episodes and wasted our time with THIS??

on top of that, it's just........it's absolute UNHINGED behavior. i've seen some people say that it feels out of character for Adam and, yeah, honestly, i agree, at least to a degree.

it's not that book!Adam doesn't want to wear Gansey like a skinsuit. he absolutely does and he's really fucking weird about it. he gets to harvard and cosplays as Gansey so hard that even Ronan is like "dude wtf are you doing" but the thing is, book!Adam would never do it consciously and intentionally. that boy would rather chew his own arm off than recognize/acknowledge/admit how badly he wants to BE Richard Campbell Gansey III. he would literally rather die.

so for him to be on our screens, dying his hair dark and stealing Gansey's clothes and wallet and introducing himself as Dick Gansey to state employees is WILD and feels so so wrong. like, no offense to the writers, but Book!He Would Not Fucking Say That.

-sigh-

however. canon is canon, and he did, in fact, fucking say that on our screens. and i'm gonna be real here, it makes tv!Adam look even more like a complete fucking sociopath than book!Adam ever did adlkjfgh. like, what a batshit psychosexually charged immoral thing for him to do. especially because not only did he use Gansey's name while committing a crime, but he also used Gansey's influence, name-dropped his mother, and promised the county clerk a FAVOR from a US senatorial candidate if she broke the law for him. idk if that's ever gonna come back up again, if it's gonna be relevant and cause problems in later seasons, but even if it doesn't, dude, that's fucked up!!!! wtf lol

...........SO THERE'S ALL THAT

but then, on the other hand

i really enjoyed Adam being a conniving manipulative amoral little mastermind on my television screen, not gonna lie, adlkfjhg

and we know the real crowning glory of this whole ordeal!! hence the tags!!! we knew i was coming back around to this XD

when this show as first announced, i didn't have a lot of hope for the Adam/Declan parallels surviving to screen. many of them were purely textual, phrases and descriptions used for both of them that stand out starkly because of how they're written but wouldn't carry over as well to a visual medium (ie, they weren't born afraid but they learned). i was emotionally prepared to lose those and just make do.

AND THEN THE SHOW WENT OUT OF ITS WAY TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW PARALLEL THAT'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED THAN ANYTHING THE BOOKS COULD'VE GIVEN ME

i cannot believe that they made a big change to Declan's character and then also made a corresponding change to Adam's that matches Declan's deviation from canon, like did they do that one purpose?? is it a coincidence??? it can't be a coincidence, surely

okay i'll cop that it's not a perfect parallel. or, i'd say, it's both a parallel and a contrast.

we didn't get to see Declan going blond or making that decision, we don't know if it was a trauma-fueled impulse like him re-dying it dark was or if it was a choice made with a little more poise and composure, but either way it was something entirely intrinsically motivated. he did it for him, even though it caused him problems and he likely knew that it would, while Adam dying his hair dark (temporarily, it's only a level 1 dye, the kind that washes out pretty quickly, and we see that it's gone by the next episode and no one else is any the wiser about what he did) is externally motivated and for a practical purpose. it's part of a scheme rather than something that he feels emotionally driven to do as part of a coping process.

but even that says so much about them as people. Declan likes to claim that he's so rational and detached, but underneath the facade he wears, he's as impulsive and passionate as Ronan is. his emotions lead him far more often than he wants to admit even to himself. both instances of his hair fuckery are driven by emotional overwhelm, and both are permanent changes (for a given value). you can't unbleach hair that has been bleached, and level 3 dye takes weeks or months to fade. and he owns his choices in the aftermath because, as the books say, Lynches always want to be seen as deliberate, even if it's deliberately cruel or, in this case, deliberately with bad taste in aesthetic choices (lmao).

meanwhile, Adam truly is a much more rational thinker. even when he feels strong emotion, he examines it and picks it apart and makes a real effort toward not acting on it. regardless of his emotional state, on the whole, he is driven by thought and logic. he dyes his hair because his appearance is a tool to be utilized to achieve an end - in this case, accessing information that he wouldn't be able to if he presented as himself. Gansey has clout that he doesn't, and thus taking on Gansey's appearance and name allows him to leverage that clout for his own ends. and when that end is achieved, Adam takes off the disguise. he rinses the dye out of his hair. he is himself again.

through this whole metamorphosis, Adam never loses his sense of self. he is playing Gansey's role, yes, but it's a costume and he knows it is and he takes it off when he's done. but Declan doesn't have a solid sense of self. his identity is a fractured mess, and he has to go through another external process in an effort to regain what he'd stripped away from himself. he cannot unbleach his hair, he has to dye it dark again in an attempt to match his natural color. even when he's trying to be himself, he's still pretending.

if i were to read even more too much into this (😂) i would say this could also be representative of their stations in life and how they feel about themselves -- ie, Declan has the means to make whatever changes he wants, he can live any life he likes (in theory), but none of it means anything if he doesn't know who he is or how to be that person in an authentic way. and Adam feels like, as much as he can play at being better than his roots, in truth he will always be what he is and no amount of slapping paint on top is ever going to change him. from dust he came and to dust he will return. Declan cannot decide if he wants to look like his father or not, that association is fraught and complicated for him and the push-pull of it is tearing him apart, and Adam desperately aspires to distance himself from the father he resembles but believes, deep down, that there is no escaping their similarity.

it makes the monmouth gatekeeping scene spicy in its own weird way, at least for me. it's the only time these two are face to face on screen with nothing else going on around them, just the two of them going head to head. the natural blond and the fake. i have to wonder if that scene is where Adam got the idea for his own brunet adventure. after all, he learned how to flirt from observing and copying Declan, why shouldn't he get tips on pretending to be someone he's not from Declan too? he did it first and he does it best, after all.

[ruinsoftime]

Escaflowne Voice Meme

Okay, I guess it's my turn. This is a Written Meme instead of voice btw. The original questionnaire is here: Escaflowne Voice Meme.

01. Introduce yourself! When did you first watch Escaflowne? What brought you into the fold?

I already shared part of my experience in this post, so I'm gonna expand on that.

I was young and naive and in Junior High. There was an open tv channel that broadcasted anime shows all evening. One of them was Escaflowne, and I liked it, I mean, it's medieval! With robots! And swords! And the robots wear capes! But I wasn't a fan.

I saw the movie until I was in college and I loved it.

Years later, I always attempted to watch the series, because I thought I never watched it complete (and I never passed from the first episode in those tries). In 2021 I finally watched the entire series again… I didn't remember a thing hahaha and I discovered that I had actually seen it completely before because the only things I recalled were the "Aoi Hitomi" song and that Dilandau was a woman (and I spent the entire time looking for the womanly clues on Dilandau, with no success).

But you know, I really really loved the movie but I forgot how much I did it, it took some effort on my part to remember… hell, I even had magazine clippings in my room (still there) and used to draw Van and Hitomi, but all that is still lost in my mind and from the world (I rescued a drawing, not the great thing).

So here I am.

I already had a tumblr account but I guess due to inactivity I couldn't use the tags, so I better started anew.

02. Who is your favorite character and why? Was it love at first sight? Has any of their qualities or quirks swayed you on characters in other series?

Van. The guy grew on me after my second watch, it's easy to sympathise with him.

03. Which side are you on? What do you think happens Post-Hitomi when she leaves? Who do you think will be the next opposing power?

This is fanfic area, but I think Basram would get everyone in trouble if not kept in check. Zaibach could resurface years later, too. Or, you know, Hitomi returns and starts a fight :P

04. Least favorite plot point? Was there something you think should have changed? What do you think would have made it better.

I found Millerna and Dryden's love story boring (because there's none?). Van's wings are too corny (lol) What's up with Varie? I'd have liked to see more about the war. Escaflowne's customer service was ridiculous hahaha I had to pause when Folken performed the "let's make Hitomi and Allen a couple" mission.

Movie: I wanted to know more about... everything.

05. OTP? What kind of art and fiction would you like to see? What are some head canons you have for them? What is you NoTP?

Every question is like 10 questions lol This one is pretty obvious: Hitomi x Van of course. If you drop Folken in there I won't mind (not sure if Van or Hitomi would agree though). I like to read so I find fanfics very entertaining and comfy. I like art too so fanarts are welcome. Alright my headcanon is… Hitomi comes back to Gaea, finds her place in there, marries Van of course, and the whole planet is in peace.

NoTP: Van and Dilandau. Van/Hitomi x OC (unless you convince me).

06. What would you like to see in a figurative remake/sequel? Would you include more minor characters? Would you want a whole new story that could be a stand alone?

I've lived long enough to see failed sequels shit on a perfect story so I'd go for standalone story or a backstory, like Goau's life, Varie's story, Moleman's, Leon's adventures, and so on.

07. Movie, Series, Game, or Manga preference? What are things you did/didnt like of each?

I love the movie, I love everything about it except for it to be so short, unable to expand on the new universe they built.

The series is great, we'll always wonder what would Escaflowne be if only they got all the episodes they needed and didn't have to pack everything in 26 episodes. A monumental work.

Everything else is meh to me. I've read both mangas and watched the extra scenes of the videogame. I haven't read the LNs for obvious reasons.

08. Do your favorite impression! Bonus points if you can do a conversation with a scene cut in!

floats in the middle of the room inside a levistone, taking a nap

09. What do you think about the idea of a re-dub? What are your feelings about the current cast selection for Van (and others if more are introduced)?

I haven't seen the english dub but I've seen the latino one. I wouldn't mind a re-dub, even if I feel that nowadays actors lack heart. Van's VA, Jesús Becerro, died some years ago so I'd prefer to watch it like it is for nostalgia's sake.

As for the japanese cast… it's perfect, period.

I love Maaya Sakamoto's voice (Hitomi), a shame I don't like her music. Tomokazu Seki (Van) surprised me, he's also Kougami's VA in Psycho-Pass (I love his voice in PP) and I didn't notice until certain line he said reminded me of some other character (Gilgamesh).

10. Recite your top five characters by name.

Van. Hitomi. Folken. 5 is a lot.

Secondary: Gadess, Ruhm, Moleman, Balgus, Yukari.

Fin

[melikedanika]

Ignorance is bliss - but it's also a bitch. Am I the only one whose been wondering how all the pieces fit?

►GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Melike Jafrin Danika NICKNAME(S): Mel, MJ LABEL: The Aesthete AGE: 30 DATE OF BIRTH: September 9, 1993 ZODIAC: Virgo Sun, Cancer Rising, Gemini Moon GENDER & PRONOUNS: Female; She/Her HERITAGE: Turkish, Arab, Lebanese SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English, Turkish OCCUPATION: Interior Designer SEXUALITY & ROMANCE: Bisexual; Biromantic

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Pinar Deniz HEIGHT: 5'6" WEIGHT: 132 lbs. DOMINANT HAND: Left HAIR COLOR: Brown EYE COLOR: Hazel SCARS: Fingers from being burnt by hot glue gun (barely noticeable) TATTOOS: None.

►PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Adroit, Romantic, Loyal, Brave, Compassionate, Passionate, Ambitious, Benevolent, Athletic. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Enigmatic, Guarded, Sensitive, Stubborn, Easily Bored, Perfectionistic, Detached. LIKES: Cafes, the sound of records playing, the smell of a new book and the smell of rain, astronomy, nature, cable-knit sweaters, the city lights, perfectly-done ponytails, old drive-ins, traveling, art museums, Shakespeare, Van Gogh, deep conversations, road trips, poetry, midnight runs. DISLIKES: Being told what to do, confrontation, being the first to show up, being the last to show up, not being taken seriously, someone underestimating her, the cold, feeling rushed, the sensation of being crowded, being called ‘selfish’ or 'ungrateful', restriction of freedom, close-minded people, being talked over, people who sell out, those without passion.

►MENTALITY

PHOBIAS: N/A DISORDERS: OCD ALLERGIES: Seasonal (Pollen)

►BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Adana, Turkey CURRENT RESIDENCE: Queens, NYC, NY EDUCATION LEVEL: BA in Interior Design from University of Cincinnati FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: - Merjan Danika - Mother, Not in Contact - Ali Danika - 49, Father, Deceased

►FAVORITES

FOOD: Pita flatbread ( margherita style ) DRINK: Chai tea with almond milk MOVIE: The Devil Wears Prada / Black Swan TV SHOW: The Office, The Bold Type, Bob's Burgers BAND: The 1975, The Killers, The Beatles, Lana Del Rey, Smashing Pumpkins SONG: Cherub Rock - Smashing Pumpkins / Zombie - The Cranberries

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: ESTP ENNEAGRAM: The Confidant (6w7) TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good SIN: Glutton (LOL) VIRTUE: Humility ELEMENT: Earth CHARACTER PLAYLIST

"Am I the only one obsessed with making it all make sense?"

► BIOGRAPHY

TW; Death, family dysfunction

Melike was born to a loving couple. At least, that's how it seemed at the time. Growing up in Adana, Turkey, Mel never felt deprived of anything. If anything, she recalls fondly on a time where she was battling dragons with wooden swords that her father so craftily created for her. Her mother? She was always so hard to reach. Mel took on a sort of balancing act. She could be herself around her father; goofy, loving, foolhardy. Around her mother, the young girl had to put a brave face on and take up some pretty adult like chores. At the age of 4, her father was making her breakfast but her mother believed she could fend for herself. Though she tried to relate and bond with her mother, it just wound up turning into an argument. The only times she could remember her mother smiling was over her grades; Mel then focusing on academics because at least her mother cared when she saw her high grades. Her whole life, she learned to hide pieces of herself away to become enough for someone else. Something her father tried so desperately to stop, but it did become a habit to his dismay. When she was off to university, she received a full ride to the University of Cincinnati. Her mother was the one pushing her to become a doctor and go to Penn State. Mel put the decision on the back burner; her own heart and mind at odds, much like her parents were at one another's throats. Her father's death came a couple weeks following her offer letters. The impact had her mother scrambling, and it wasn't until she attempted to sell Mel to a man in order to be his wife, that she finally put her foot down. She decided to go to the University of Cincinnati and hasn't looked back on her life in Turkey since. Two years ago, the woman took the leap to move to NYC due to a job opportunity. She's still gaining her footing here, but she does love the people and the ambiance.

► PERSONALITY

Mel is passionate and loves art and history thanks to her father. Due to this, she is prone to rambles of Shakespeare, Cleopatra, and good 'ole Van Gogh. She loves to go out and have fun in the night life scheme of things, but she also loves to just throw her hair up into a messy bun and have a Netflix marathon. Mel is a hopeless romantic and is all-in when it comes to relationships and crushes. This is an aspect of herself she's scared of, seeing that her parents were a product of an arranged marriage for financial reasons - she's afraid of someone not genuinely loving her and wanting her for their own gain. This has her a bit suspicious of others, and she can be a tad hard to bond with if you hate someone whose hot and cold at first. She genuinely is a warm character and loves the simpler things in life. She loves to rearrange her friends' houses and surprise them with the new layout. She's also an awesome wingwoman. Can take a joke, but will dish it right back. Loves take out and hiking. Mel is fixated on making everything make sense, since her father's passing still doesn't make sense to her; just a trauma response, ya know?

► PLOTS

The Best Friend: This is someone who was here for when Mel first came to Denver. They most likely showed her the ropes and gave her tours. It would be nice for them to have hit it off and been inseperable ever since. - OPEN

College Friends: Friends who went through the same interior design program, maybe? Or, they could've just met around campus and now it's like 'oh shit - you're in Denver too?' - OPEN (x2?)

The Roommate: I kinda see this as like a FRIENDS type of deal. Very much like Mel is the Monica to someone's Rachel and they are trying to figure out life together. Super soft and cute, ok? - OPEN

But, Do I Suck?: The design testers. These people are who Mel runs her ideas by before putting it out into the world and actually decorating someone's house. This is especially if they are a big client. They could be her genuine friends in the design industry, or maybe they just all love art and met/bonded that way. - OPEN (x2)

Once You Have Me, Will You Want Me Still?: Blind date that turned into a hookup and Mel left before they woke up because she got scared. Ya know, she just doesn't want history to repeat itself. - OPEN

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure 02 (Blind Watch) - Episode 38

Now that's what I'm talking about! I live for episodes like these: reunions with the OG digi-destined, real world setting, casual clothing, and cute bonding moments! The fact that it's a Christmas episode is a nice bonus (and it's hitting just at the right time too). Let's hope that this is a good sign for things to come and not a fluke...

Notes:

-Ichijouji was adorable in this episode, so timid, so grateful to have friends :') good for him

-Damn that Santa cake looked good...there was a lot of food in this episode actually (perfect for my anime food side blog hehe)

-That extended scene with Takeru's Mom was weirdly refreshing. It's always nice seeing older characters in anime in general, especially in shows where they get pushed to the side normally. (Series with adult digi-destined when??)

-Did not realize that they could use the digital world to fast-travel from Japan to America, mind-blown! The scene where they left Palmon by Mimi's bed as an XMas present was so cute (although we don't typically do bedside presents in America lol cultural difference).

-Loved the winter wear. Miyako looked especially cute this episode. The hat/peacoat combo really suited her.

-Didn't expect the sudden Yamato/Taichi/Sora love triangle scene. Felt kind of random since I can't recall Sora and Yamato ever interacting much (of course, Sora has never done much in general lol).

-They actually gave Matt an original song in the dub. Wonder if that made it to some soundtrack? (Ditto for the OG song too). They both sounded pretty generic.

-So apparently Yamato's band is big enough to be brodcasted live on Fuji TV?? Damn, I thought he was just in a garage band or something.

-Lol not Davis suggesting they play "strip poker" in the dub

-Kind of a weird mix of evil digis unleashed on the real world, some really weak and some OP, but they were kinda all treated the same. Also, it's not clear why these digimon were attacking in the first place? Like, they're not dark tower digimon and they don't have control rings, so... -shrug- maybe that's supposed to be part of the new mystery.

-We got a special Christmas insert song in the sub and an adorable Digified "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" rendition in the sub. We stan.

-Why is Ken just chilling in the dark at the end there? Old emo habits die hard I guess...

[belovecore]

Hellooo fellow transformers selfshipper, welcome to the community!! :] For the ask meme, how about ❄️ and 📌 for kraken? -geckokiss

OPEN & ACCEPTING! | Unconventional Selfship Asks

( ooc: aaa, thank you so much! i'm so glad everyones so nice and welcoming here. i haven't really been able to dip into selfshipping as a community before but i feel it'd be nice since i've been wanting to share how important fictional characters are to me. great to see other tf shippers too!!)

[small reminder for readers: zero is me. i sometimes speak in 3rd person for comfort reasons!]

❄️ It is winter time and it snowed for the very first time!

What are the plans for this winter with you and your f/o? Do you plan any outings? How does a typical cold day together look like?

So for these sort of deals, it completely depends on where it takes place but for this ask I will do one where Kraken and Zero are living together on Earth!

Kraken is used to being on spaceships or rather, Cybertron- which is normal for his kind but once he's on Earth and sees snow for the first time. He is immediately intrigued. He literally stood near the window of the large shared garage just to watch it come down while his audials wiggled slightly and he just observed quietly for a few minutes.

He isn't scared as much as it just really excites him to see how a planet's atmosphere can cause different living environments. That's definitely a big plus for his curiosity when he moved to Earth alongside Zero.

Zero doesn't always leave when its winter, very sparingly cause they get cold easily but don't mind if they have motivation and lots of layers to keep warm. Their notice of Kraken's interest gets them to dressed up and take Kraken out to show him snow and all the silly little games humans do in the snow like snow angels, snowmen, snowball fights.

Kraken really likes how inventive humans are all for the sake of fun, and he gladly partakes even though he's not usually too hands-on in activities unless he knows he's comfortable. He's always comfortable around Zero :)

Once that's all said and done, Kraken has no qualms returning to their 'base' as he calls it to warm up. Kraken having to scrape off ice and snow from his pedes so he doesn't track it in but can settle down while Zero cuddles up to him in his lap. He's always so warm, and they get to wear their weighted blanket around them and let Kraken ask them countless questions about winter and snow.

Zero doesn't mind answering and happily explains in full detail to what he asks, and at some point even brings up how humans make special hot drinks just to warm up when it's cold outside! Kraken cannot digest normal human food stuffs but he can get the bare basics and apply it to energon treats for the same effect so they can share a cute hot mug moment together!

Other than that, they tend to stay in and focus on staying together and catching up tv shows since they have time to burn until it's warm again to go outside and explore. Kraken's always been one for exploring once he found out just how big the Earth was and how much life it had. Kraken also has a tendency to talk a lot during shows, but Zero doesn't mind as they both speak outloud statements or questions and the other answers or offers an explanation of what they think as they intake new information from the series.

📌 Your f/o has gotten the idea stuck in their head that they want to write you little notes for you to find throughout the day. They get up early to start hiding all the little notes they have written the past few days.

Where do they hide the notes? Is it places you visit daily or more obscure places so it comes as an extra surprise when you do find them? What's written on them? How does your f/o react whenever you find one?

This is like 100% on the money of something that Kraken would do! He's comfortable showing his love but sometimes he likes to be more creative and just get these sudden ideas to do something cutesy.

Kraken recalls information on how Zero usually goes about their day, especially around him and he places them specifically in places they will go through or find. He sorta did want to go the route of making it like a riddle or treasure hunt but can't help himself and wants to be around when they do find them so he can see their face!

Kraken takes care to put very specific sappy words or sayings on the notes but with a twist. He will put them in morse code and add a key to decipher it!

Zero knows what Kraken's handwriting looks like, very perfectly neat but usually in all caps as he prefers and when they find one they are set on decoding the note to impress Kraken and also do so cause they really wanna know and know how much it means to him.

One after one, Zero gives a soft 'aaw' and chuckle and gives him a soft playful pun back and lots of praise. He loves praise, it makes him melt and his engines rev.

Zero keeps each note in their special binder, nice and organized so they can look back on them and cherish the memory since their memory isn't always so great so it's nice to have something so they have help and can relive those special times.

[calamity-bean]

Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical (a review, of sorts)

Recently, I — like many of y'all — kinda sorta lost my mind over a new TV comedy inspired by a certain 18th century pirate.

While Stede Bonnet was not the most obscure marauder in history, I gotta say, I don't think I'd ever heard of him before Our Flag Means Death came along, and I certainly don't recall encountering him in any media before that. So imagine my surprise when, shortly after I binged the gay pirate show, fully in the throes of fresh brainworms, I caught wind of a new stage musical based on that very same pirate that just happened to be making its premiere right after OFMD! What a coincidence, right? And naturally, having just become enthralled with one fictionalized take on the Gentleman Pirate, my curiosity could not help but be piqued!

All this is to say: there is a musical about Stede Bonnet, and I watched it, and I had a pretty good time. So I wanted to tell y'all about it and share some of my thoughts on its themes, its music, how it adapts Stede Bonnet's story, and its take on him as a character.

Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical runs through Sunday, May 1, with digital performances on April 30 and May 1 for those interested in watching online.

First, a bit of a disclaimer. Although I talk about OFMD in my introduction to this post in order to explain why I was interested in seeing this play in the first place, I did not go into the theatre with any intention of pitting the two against each other, nor do I intend to do so now. These shows may be based on the same historical figures and events, but each is its own independent creative work, and moreover, both are over-the-top comedies that are... not exactly preoccupied with historical accuracy. Like, at all. The Stede in SB:AFPM is not OFMD Stede, and both are quite far removed from the Stede of history. So although I'm posting this in large part because I think this musical might be of interest to people who, like me, first became aware of Stede Bonnet through OFMD... Don't expect this to be OFMD, and don't judge it on that basis.

The Story, Characters, and Themes

This is a fun, energetic, occasionally poignant show, and I'm glad I got to see it. The performances were delightful, with a lot of absurdity, physical comedy, and talented singing; the audience was laughing aloud throughout. I really liked the set design: it's simple but effective, performed in the round, centered around a main platform bearing a ship's mast (complete with a ladder and sail). The floor is dappled in blues and greens to look like ocean water, there are ropes for actors to swing on and more ropes dangling ship's lanterns, a cannon up in one corner and a lot of humorous little touches in the props. The overall effect is quite charming and pretty.

The story opens just before Stede impulsively sets to sea and covers through the end of his pirating career, focusing mainly on his "collaboration" with Blackbeard. Stede and Blackbeard are two of the principal roles, along with Israel Hands and Elsie, a barmaid on a quest for revenge. Three other actors play all the supporting roles — primarily the pirate crew and assorted birds (signified by wearing colored beanies with eyes and beaks), who act as a sort of Greek chorus.

(Israel and Stede. Photo credit: Jeffrey Schmidt / CultureMap)

Although Stede — bedecked in florid aristocratic fashion, his hair in buoyant ringlets, his face powdered and cheeks brightly rouged — provides a huge amount of the show's comedy through his eccentricity and incompetence, his character arc is fundamentally about... depression. And grief. He starts out the play not merely discontent with his life, but suicidal and numb. It's clear that he has never recovered from the death of his young son and feels, himself, dead inside. He loves his wife and children, he has everything he needs... but still he feels empty.

Grief is also one of the major themes of the storyline that runs parallel to Stede's: that of Elsie the barmaid. I'm still not sure how I feel about how she fits into the structure of the narrative. She is very much the hero of her own story: she's got her own agenda that just so happens to intersect with Stede's, and ultimately, her storyline ends up driving a fair amount of the action. She gets at least as many arias as Stede does and, honestly, felt more like the emotional heart of the story than Stede.

Israel Hands is heavily involved in both Stede's and Elsie's narrative arcs, and he's a nuanced, sympathetic character who likewise does a lot of the heavy lifting in the show's more emotional moments. Blackbeard (played by a woman) is the primary antagonist, a theatrical, ruthless, and cheerfully manipulative charmer who is using Stede for his own ends.

Props to all of the actors in the main roles for their performances, and a special shout-out to the supporting cast, who were versatile and memorable in all their various roles. I kinda want a beanie with a bird beak on it, they were pretty cute.

The Music

The musical styles in this show range from piratey shanties, to your classic musical theatre "I Want"/"I Am"–type song, to what I can only describe as "80s movie training montage power ballad." While the singing itself was lovely throughout, I definitely enjoyed some songs much more than others. Those who know my preferences won't be surprised to hear that I mostly favored the ones on the folksier, more shanty-esque end of the spectrum. Some particular standouts:

The Act II opener ("Brothers of the Brine") is a stirring, very nautical piece that features a stomping part and a fiddle solo that the whole audience went wild for.

Blackbeard's villain song ("Blackbeard") is in a sort of dark cabaret style, complete with Blackbeard doing sexy splay-legged poses upside down on his throne — while wearing a massive fake beard.

"The Ballad of Davy Jones" has Blackbeard striking fear in Stede's heart through the tale of Davy Jones's narwhal-related demise, with a lot of theatrical bombast and fun.

(Blackbeard! Photo credit: BroadwayWorld)

Admittedly, there were some songs that fell flat for me. So it goes in any show. I really liked Israel's first feature song ("Israel's Rambling Backstory") but less so his later ones, and Elsie's solos were well-sung but felt a little out of place for me, in much the same way that her arc feels a little out of place, maybe? I swear I'm not just, like, against the concept of inserting an original female character into the story on principle — I actually enjoyed her as a character, and I certainly enjoyed her actress's performance. I'm just not sure how I feel about her role in the overall narrative structure.

Maybe the issue is simply that I felt like her character arc, though it shares themes with Stede's, diverted time that could have been spent better developing the title character, who to me was driven by the more interesting motivation.

What Is This Show's Take on Stede Bonnet?

The historical Stede Bonnet did bad shit, before and after he became a pirate. That should really go without saying. This musical's Stede is not entirely beholden to the original — historical facts about his life are omitted or substantially altered, his characterization is exaggeration and invention, and he really is, as I have said, best viewed as an entity very separate from the real-life figure that inspired him. But the musical still grapples with core features of what I think make the concept of the Gentleman Pirate intriguing: the idea that someone who had so much privilege would abandon his life and family in favor of a short, violent, and ultimately doomed adventure in criminality for which he was very ill equipped. In dealing with these facts, the narrative ultimately kind of has to at least imply some kind of judgement on his actions.

To start with: Why?

It's not a mere longing for adventure. It's not "discomfort in a married state." In this version, Stede loves his wife, loves his children. He says as much at the end of the play, at the trial that will lead to his execution. So if he loves them, why would he leave them? He struggles to articulate the answer, just like I'm struggling to articulate my point now.

Though this show's Stede is largely a comic character, frequently over-the-top and ridiculous, there's a sorrowful undercurrent to him that comes out in the too-brief moments where his character is allowed to be more serious and subdued. His songs express a desire to "rewrite his story," but what it really comes down to, as I said before, is the numbness and emptiness that too many of us who have dealt with depression know all too well. He's grieving his son, who died years before the story opens, and moreover just does no longer feel anything about life: he finds no happiness in all the things that used to make him happy, he desperately wants to change but cannot seem to do so, he seems mired in the past and without hope for the future. He tries to hang himself in the first few minutes of the play — a foreshadowing of his eventual fate. He's stopped only by a chance meeting with Israel, which inspires the impulsive decision to become a pirate, which leads, at the end of the first act, to the moment where he joyously declares that he FINALLY feels ALIVE again...!

...Because he's just shot someone dead. Killing a person — some random sailor whose ship Stede's ship has attacked — is the big moment of triumph where the numbness breaks and Stede feels brilliantly, exhilaratingly, unrepentantly alive.

(Photo credit: Jeffrey Schmidt)

And personally, I find this a more interesting motivation and arc to explore than Elsie's, whose story is a pretty familiar quest for rescue and revenge. Her arc's themes are loss, grief, acceptance, and forgiveness. Those are rich themes, but her story follows a familiar arc and she gets pretty solid closure on all fronts. There is no moral ambiguity in her motivation or in her character. (Though there is in the role Israel plays in that story arc.) She is solidly justified, solidly Good.

Stede is much more morally ambiguous, and his story is not nearly so easy to tie up in a tidy little bow. In his final song, "Eulogy," as he reflects on his brief life of crime, he says that he cannot justify the ends OR the means... and yet he has no regrets about his choice. He rewrote his story. His decisions may have been bad, but they were his decisions, and they made him feel alive again and reclaim a sense of agency over his life.

And fuck, I mean — being in your late twenties and depressed and feeling desperately lost and dead inside and just wanting to make a sudden, drastic change? Wanting to stop going to work, leave town, throw your entire past away and wipe the slate clean and run off to do something fucking ridiculous with your life? In hopes that somehow that'll fix you, that somehow that'll make you feel the way you're supposed to feel?? Relatable!! It's fucking relatable!!!

And I think this is ultimately where the musical comes down on its version of Stede Bonnet. He made bad decisions. His decisions were harmful and ill-fated and arguably stupid, and we're not going to try to justify what he did or where it led him. But why he did it? That we can sure as hell sympathize with. There's something very compelling about watching someone, however flawed, have the audacity to make such bold choices about the course of their life.

In Closing

To those of you who read this far: Holy shit, you're still here? Thanks! This got a LOT longer than I meant for it to! I had originally planned just to kind of summarize the general vibe of the show and then list some of the details I particularly liked, but, well, I'm not known for my brevity. I might make that list a separate, much shorter post and link it here.

Overall, as I said: I had a real fun time at this show. I'm glad I heard about it and that my interest in Stede Bonnet's story had so recently been piqued. It's not a polished big-budget Broadway show by any means, but I could tell that there was a lot of love put into every aspect of it by the creators, cast, and crew, and I can safely say that the whole audience seemed to be having a great time. Plus, it's always interesting to look at how different storytellers adapt the same historical inspiration into such different stories with different focuses and themes.

At this post's time of writing, Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical is running for about another week, with digital performances available online on its final weekend, April 30 and May 1. I am extremely impressed that you read all the way to the end of this rambling pseudo-review; cheers. <3

[misscammiedawn]

Hypno Asks Answered 4/5

30. What’s your favourite audio file/audio file producer?

I am not going to answer anything other than my Goddess, Lady Ru'etha. Bias down to the core of me.

I suppose I can also shout out Secret Subject as she and I have collabed in the past.

31. What’s your favourite book/movie/TV show that includes hypnosis?

Oh bloody hell this is SUCH an unfair question. I have such specific memories attached to them. Maybe send asks with the following prompts:

Phantom of the Opera Incredibles 2 Super Hero Girls Sailor Moon

There could be more, but those are the ones that popped off at the top of my head.

32. Describe your biggest fantasy involving hypnosis?

It's a two way tie between a stage hypnotist/magician summoning me from the audience and turning me into their lovely assistant, complete with a beautiful sequined outfit and flying and having the person next to me take interest in me enough to want to brainwash me for the duration of the flight.

Both fantasies, mind. I doubt I would enjoy either happening in reality based contexts. But I could enjoy the bliss of the idea.

33. Do you have any fantasies about non-consensual hypnosis? Describe them

I mean the above two? If we're talking about "in reality" like "if I met this celebrity, I'd love to--" then no. I do not enjoy those thoughts at all.

34. What’s one fictional character you’ve fantasised about hypnotising/being hypnotised by?

It says a lot about my personality that my favorite ways of dealing with that kind of fantasy is to BE the fictional character, in which Poison Ivy is my favorite to go to (and one I've indulged in before) and Goddess wants me to do more Daphne Blake cosplay for that reason.

But I suppose I could always capture Harley Quinn, Wonder Woman or Captain Marvel… Grins knowingly

35. Do you like intelligence loss/bimbofication hypnosis? Why?

Not really my thing? I DO enjoy being fractionated into a silly puddle though, so I guess if that counts then it's the end goal of many of my scenes! Cammie is an absolute silly ball of fluff who spews out words without letting them cross reference the brain. I have been told she has said some really dumb things in the height of fractionation, including that vanilla people should be put in coffee.

I need my partners to keep a "shit Cammie says" list.

36. Do you like amnesia play? Why?

I do indeed on both sides of the watch. There's something so hot about the focus and intention of obedience fading all of a sudden with a look of confusion. There's so much to enjoy about that deep curiosity of "what did I do?!" there's always such playful giddiness when the shenanigans are in effect and all the more when the spell wears off and the hypnotee is allowed to RECALL. Yes. I like those moments oh so much.

For a specific memory of not remembering I go back to Beguiled 2022. My crush-turned-girlfriend knew so much that I enjoyed summoning triggers so added an amnesia reply. When she beckons I am compelled to come to her and then forget everything. I would be sitting and then I would be at her side and as the amnesia took hold I would even forget that I had blipped at all.

But I knew I had a trigger I didn't know about.

And I could tell Oikos members about it, but would forget every time I finished talking.

And so I went through the weekend summoned again and again and I told Oikos, especially Puppet who I was rooming with, about this spell no less than 5 times.

…the spell was bound to the return journey after the convention. When I got my recollection I was in the middle of typing to Her. She knew exactly what had happened and gave such a loving and snarky reply.

My heart skipped.

Amnesia is the best.

37. Do you like freeze triggers? Why?

I shall simply reply like this - the Kiss Your Miss story is based not just on real events, but on one of my favorite triggers which I adore abusing. https://www.tumblr.com/misscammiedawn/689670104313626624/kiss-your-miss-a-quick-little-scene-between-a

38. Do you like pleasure triggers? Why?

They're not my thing, sadly. I am tempted to learn to build them for my partners because I love them and I love watching them squirm, but I imagine they have other partners who are keyed in to that experience that would compliment their needs better. I simply do not enjoy receiving them. Cammie becomes immensely uncomfortable when things get too erotic.

39. Do you like alternate personalities created through hypnosis? Why?

Oh god…

For 15 years that was all my brain was used for on a near daily basis. Old partners who are no longer in my life enjoyed my flexibility and ability to BECOME the characters we roleplayed. Particularly allosexual heterosexual men.

I don't want to type more about this. Throw me an ask if you want a specific topic on it. I've been clean for 3 years now and I've got worries about how this has impacted my psyche.

[forthegothicheroine]

The King in Yellow, 1949

Much of this story is true.  Warnings in the tags.

When I had pneumonia in my early teens, my mother brought home an armful of VHS tapes from the library to alleviate my misery.  Knowing my snobbish preferences, she had grabbed copies of whatever she found in black and white.  I remember something musical that I suspect was Busby Berkeley, I remember Mildred Pierce (a bad choice, as it turned out- the plot includes a young girl dying of pneumonia), and I remember a period piece called The King.  I faded in and out of consciousness while I watched it, but it soothed me while I was awake and filled my fever dreams with sparkling images.  I could never find it at the library again, nor at Hollywood Video or even early Netflix (once my father got the subscription service where you could order practically every DVD.)  It was a bit odd that it seemed to be so obscure, given that it starred old Hollywood legend Ingrid Bergman (and, although I initially forgot it, Marlene Dietrich.)  But even big stars make films that fall by the wayside in public memory, and it seemed that this was one of them.  Google was no help, and at the time that was that.

I didn’t see the film again until I was watching Turner Classic Movies at my grandparents’ house.  I loved watching that channel with them while filling out the crossword puzzle that came in their little TCM catalogue (all of it based on movie trivia, the only kind of crossword puzzle I’ve ever been any good at.)  I recognized a certain scene where Bergman stood on a balcony, looking sadly at the moon.  Her face had an expression of unutterable melancholy, and the crescent moon reflected in each of her eyes, giving the impression of two moons in one sky.  I had very little time to catch up on what I’d missed before we had to go meet my cousins at the local Italian restaurant.  I knew logically that the movie would be long over by the time we returned, but I turned on the channel anyway.  Of course it had moved on to the lesser known Alfred Hitchcock film Stage Fright, but then I heard Marlene Dietrich sing before I could reach the remote to turn the tv off in disappointment.  I knew that I had heard her sing before, and I knew it had been in The King.

Dietrich’s singing often comes across as somewhat campy today, with its Rs pronounced as Ws and it’s up-and-down tone.  Madeline Kahn parodied it brilliantly in Blazing Saddles, such that it was a bit of a disappointment when I finally saw Dietrich’s western Destry Rides Again and found it to be lifeless and inconsistent next to the parody.  Still, we remember her voice for a reason, and when I remembered it that night, I knew that its sardonic loneliness had rung through The King and made me shiver in my dreams.

The TCM schedule didn’t list The King in its time slot, but something else.  If I had taken down the name, maybe it would have helped me find it.  Sometimes the same movie runs under multiple names.

I didn’t see the film all the way through for many years, after I graduated college.  I had found a web page that listed public domain film noir, including one called The Masked Guest.  The website described it as a costume noir, and I curiously clicked on the link.  Once I took in the credits running on the youtube window, my eyes grew wide and I did not move from my place on the bed until the movie had run its course.

The credits did indeed list it as The Masked Guest, but I recognized the strange repeating design on the title cards.  They told me that in addition to starring Dietrich and Bergman, it was directed by Fritz Lang, and a character called The King was credited to “???”  (I hadn’t seen that kind of credit since the first Karloff Frankenstein.)  When the King finally appears on screen, though, it is unmistakably Orson Welles’s voice that booms out from behind his elaborate costume.

Here are the things I understand about The King, or The Masked Guest, or The Man in Yellow, or any other title I’ve found for it on public domain archive searches.  Dietrich and Bergman play princesses named Cassilda and Camilla, respectively.  Though Dietrich’s accent is German and Bergman’s is Swedish, they blend together to give the film the impression of being set somewhere on the map that I can’t quite find.  The scenery and camera angles are very Freudian, with a great deal of archways and pillars.

The first act of The King involves frankly dull romantic plotlines, and the only thing that really saved it was the feeling that the suitors were supposed to be insipid, a suspicion lended credence by the fact that the love interests were listed so low on the credits.  Dietrich is the scandalous sister and Bergman is the responsible one, though each takes on aspects of the other as the film goes on.  Dietrich sings her song at a party, dressed in a fake 17th century gown and leaning against a piano.  Although just a moment ago she had been laughing and joking with her gentleman friends, her song takes an abruptly serious tone (not seductive, not sentimental) as she tells the story of a city lost to time and memory.  Bergman slips away from the party and onto the balcony, where we see that wonderful shot of the moon in her eyes.  Is she mourning?  Is she longing?

Dietrich cuts off the song by abruptly screaming “Not on us, King!  Not on us!”  She flees the party weeping and shaking, and from there on the film goes mad.

Though uncommon, it is not unknown for movies to switch between black and white and color, done most famously in The Wizard of Oz.  The film The King recalls here is the silent Phantom of the Opera, which had a masqued ball scene tinted in shades of red and green that tried to provide a whole spectrum of color.  The effect is even odder in the masqued ball scene in The King- the only color that appears is yellow, highlighting things like candlelight, Dietrich’s hair, a passing gown, a vase of tulips.  It also highlights one particular masked figure, whose expressionless mask was decorated with a black pattern against a sickening yellow canvas- the same pattern I had seen in the opening credits.  The color of his costume causes him to stand out from the crown even when he is far off in the background, just one head among many others.  It must have taken long and painstaking hours of work to color in every frame.

Dietrich still seems broken up days after her song, though Bergman tries to coax her into joining the dance.  Finally, at midnight, Dietrich goes out to face the party, but only to demand that every guest remove their mask.  The yellow man with a voice that once warned America about a Martian invasion tells her that he wears no mask.  Bergman reacts with disbelief, but Dietrich starts laughing like a woman unhinged.  As she laughs, the yellow hue seeps out of the King’s clothing and face- if that really is his face- and begins to color the entire ballroom crowd.  I think that what follows is bloodshed, but if there is any carnage (doubtful under the Production Code censorship), the blood must be tainted yellow and splashed across the camera like daubs of paint.  Dietrich’s laughing face is doubled and tripled on screen until it dissipates, but even when it has faded offscreen, it feels as if her ghost continues to watch the proceedings.  

By the end of the scene (filled with German Expressionist camera angles and mad violin screeching), only Bergman remains alive, cowering behind a grandfather clock.  It does not hide her for long.  The King steps towards her and extends his hand.  Reluctantly, but with a fatalistic expression, Bergman takes his hand.  They walk away together hand in hand.  The screen shifts back into black and white, and then the credits roll before we can get a good look at all the bodies in the scene.  The credits say it was based on a play called The King in Yellow, although Raymond Chandler of all people apparently had a hand in the screenplay.

As I said, that’s what I think I understand.  It’s an oddly experimental art film for the era, and it may be awaiting rediscovery by the film festival crowd.  I feel as if I alone know about it, though that obviously isn’t true.  It is my little secret; I tell myself that my husband doesn’t need me to show it to him, it would be too odd for his taste.  I’ve rewatched it many times, even if it seems like each time I search for it I have to find a different video platform or torrent.  Naturally, no subscription site has it available.  Maybe I am the last person who will ever watch it.  Maybe no one will ever think to look for it again after me, and it will be completely forgotten.

When I was hospitalized, they let me use my laptop at night before I went to sleep (no power cord, though, in case I tried to hang myself.)  I found a youtube link for The Man in Yellow, and I watched it every night.  It wasn’t a soothing sort of movie, but having it in my mind all day and then watching it in the evening allowed me to think as opposed to crying endlessly while the other patients shot me awkward looks.  I clutched the childhood stuffed animals my mother brought me when she visited, and I always held them extra tight when the masquerade scene started.

I watched the movie when I had to move away from my beloved San Francisco.  I watched the movie when I lost the last of my grandparents.  I watched the movie when a doctor unwisely took me off my medication and I couldn’t manage to eat for a month.  I watched the movie when the whole world got sick and we all locked ourselves away from each other.  I don’t mind that I don’t entirely know what it means.  I don’t mind the nightmares.  In the hospital they kept telling us about mindfulness exercises, and maybe the fact that I can focus on every aspect of the film so closely that all else falls away is the reason I keep coming back to it.  I’m being mindful.  I’m not letting any stray thoughts invade my head.  I’m just watching and waiting for the next beat of every scene, leading inexorably to that yellow-stained bloodbath.

Streaming media doesn’t last forever, and each time I find The King, I worry that it will be the last time I ever can find it.  My efforts to download it have so far been unsuccessful, odd considering that it is in the public domain.

When I watch The King, I am once again a child in my bedroom being cared for in the throes of agonizing sickness.  I am once again sitting on the couch with my grandparents in front of the tv, both of them alive and lucid again.  I am once again in the hospital, all alone except for my stuffed animals and the staff trying to keep me alive.  The film reflects in my eyes like the crescent moon in Ingrid Bergman’s gaze.  It sings to me.

I am determined to find a way to obtain The King under any name so that I never have to worry about losing it.  During some of the worst times in my life, it is the only thing that has kept me sane.

[svnaslove]

please, don’t tell anyone.

summary: you walk into your shared room looking for the tv controller to see Bokuto doing something in the bed but he hastily and desperately tries to hide it.

warnings: suggestive ; fluff

characters: bokuto koutarou

“Kouuu do you know where th-” you walk into the bedroom a little impatiently to ask your boyfriend where he put the controller to the TV at when you’re suddenly stopped short to the sight of him jumping of fear due to your presence, concealing quickly whatever was on his lap with the blanket of the bed.

“What are you up to?” you ask curiously, noticing how tense he got.

“n-NothING” Bokuto stuttered, you could hear the anxiety in his voice, his lie painfully obvious at his voice crack.

You wear a slick smile, turning to a smirk as you mind itched for the answer to your curiosity, you inch close to him slowly so as to tease him, “I won’t be mad if you’re just having fun, you know, but you should’ve told me.”

Bokuto’s cheeks itched red as he once again sputtered, “I-I’m not doing that!!“

“Hmm, okay, so tell me what you got there then.” you tease now only two steps from the bed, Bokuto’s face rose with more panic as he watched you get closer, he couldn’t stop you, but he didn’t want you to see what he was doing, it was too embarrassing.

You had your hand now over the blanket where the mysterious item, or whatever it was that had caught so much of Bokuto’s attention and was so embarrassed to tell you about. You irked your eyebrow up to Bokuto, he looked like he was starting to sweat? What the hell was he hiding? It almost made you giggle a little at his demeanor but you kept it in.

“Tell me what it is Kou.” you laughed now, unable to keep your composure as you watched him nearly about to break if he were to be exposed.

“OKAY OKAY I’LL TELL YOU,” he burst, panic all over his face, “BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE NOT TELL ANYONE OKAY???”

“Wha- yeah okay” you promised, your curiosity making you now willing to do anything to find out what was being hidden and riling up your boyfriend so much.

Bokuto slowly lifted the blanket in front of him, biting his lip worried of your reaction.

Your smile grew as you saw what it was that was making such a reaction from your boyfriend.

You threw yourself to Bokuto, arms embracing around him, squeezing him tight.

“YOU’RE SO CUTE KOU” you squealed. 

You pulled back and squished his cheeks, “YOU’RE SO FREAKING CUTE” you squealed again.

“Y-you don’t think it’s weird?” he asked, almost shocked at your reaction.

“Why would i think it’s weird? I used to do this all the time when I was younger! It’s so fun! Not to mention I read this one article that said it was therapeutic, it’s good for the mind, and it’s relaxing too!”

“Babee you’re starting to sound like Tetsu-kunn” whined Bokuto.

“Sorry, sorry!” you hastily apologized mid-laugh.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why were you being so weird about me finding out?” you pouted.

“I don’t know, I just got worried that you would think it’s weird that guy likes to do bead necklaces, it’s kind of girly, isn’t it?” he asked, a little sad, looking almost ashamed, yet relieved that you accepted him.

“What the hell are you talking about? There’s no such thing as something that’s just for girls or something that’s just for boys, if you like something, then you like something, that’s what’s important!”

Bokuto’s eyes lit up, widening and the smile of his usual self returned. His heart swelled to your words, he was so lucky to have someone so perfect like you. You were always there to lift him up and to make him feel important and assured, it was almost hard having insecurities when there was someone like you that loved him, every single bit of him and always told him so.

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCHH Y/NNN” he hollered hopping off of the bed into your arms, squeezing you tight.

“I  LOVE YOU TOO BO, BUT I CAN’T BREATHE”　

“oH, sORRY”

“It’s okay” you smiled, “Now come on, let’s go make necklaces together in the living room.”

“oKAY!” bokuto exclaimed, heading over to his set with all of the tools for making the bead necklaces, you giggled softly at how cute he looked, so excited to share this with you.

“By the way, what do you do with the necklaces that you make? I’ve never seen you wear any.” you asked as it hit you and you realized.

“oH, I make them for my mom, she really likes them, and I make some for my sisters too!” he smiled.

Your eyes lit up when your memories came back to you and you remembered just how much his mom liked necklaces of that type, how she could wear like 5 of them at a time and how you’ve recalled his sisters wearing small ones and an occasional anklet of the same type of beads Bokuto held in his hands.

The cuteness of Bokuto Koutarou was going to be the death of you.

Authors’ Note:

get ur mind out of the gutter, this is a family show.

also..

The beads that Bokuto was doing was like those wooden necklace beads, not the pink and purple ones you see in like the kids toys section at like Target ok 😭😭