#and it proves that bones is just as important to Spock as Jim

[trekmupf]

The Court Room Drama AU ⚖️

Pro

Great episode to show important parts of Kirk's character

he really is affected by any death under his command and cares for his people deeply

he's really trying his best with Jamie and stays kind to her throughout

The way Kirk refuses to let the others in the bar be vague about what's going on and wants them to be direct and honest, just like he tends to be (unless it's for a ruse); instead of escalating the situation he leaves

he holds onto his beliefs not only ethically but in himself as well – he knows what he did and sticks to the truth instead of taking an easy way out, even though the situation seems hopeless

The first time we see how decorated Kirk is within Starfleet- really one of the fleets finest. Also the way Cogley frames Kirk's decorations is so well done.

When he takes the stand he is 100% sure of his actions and himself. We know that Kirk admits mistakes when he makes them, and this instance isn't one of them

Shaw in context of being Kirk's ex confirms again that he really likes smart and independent women and respects them, even after a relationship ended

Kirk has good knowledge of engineering as well

Shatner's acting in the episode is really great – he can do these subtle emotions and Kirk's character so well

Also the fact that his crew trusts him, each in their own way, and know that he wouldn't do this. 100% ride or die crew

McCoy making it clear that he stands behind Jim from the first scene with Shaw onwards; Also Bones' southern charm gets me every time

Shaw is a great character: she's much more than just an ex, she has her own believes and goals and is competent at her job; also the tension between her and Kirk rising because of her duty to her position as prosecutor, when their relationship itself as exes is fine

Actually this is how I imagine Kirk being with ex partners, very nice, lovely and amicable.

Cogley is a great character as well: very adhd smart guy vibes, initially strange but when the hearing starts he goes off and is so competent and passionate!

Proper intro of the dress uniforms! (honorary mention of Kirk's slutty wrap top, of course)

Spock and Bones serving during the hearing in said uniforms, absolute kings. Everyone looks so good in this episode.

Even though said before Spock's defence of Kirk deserves it's own point. His argument is so vulcan and suits him so well, and his trust in Kirk as a person doesn't waiver for a second during the entire episode

The same goes for McCoy (also DeForest's voice during the courtroom scene is VERY nice)

Finney is another one of Kirk's nemesis, I mean how many nemesis can one guy have, Kirk is literally the ultimate ex no one gets over (looking at Movie 2)

This episode shows once again that Starfleet isn't as cleancut as it seems and has problems – Stone offering Kirk a way out when fully believing that he made that mistake and killing Finney is questionable at best

Great episode for further world building: we learn more about Starfleet itself (it's actually the first time the name is dropped), we meet other crews, other ships get named and we get some backstory about Kirk

Even though we have multiple sets this was supposed to be a bottle episode and it shows. Set mostly on a starbase (unlike most episodes that are about new planets), the characters are in focus

Great commentary made from a 60s perspective but still relevant today: the “infallible” machine vs the fellable human. We have three people vouching for Kirk's character in court vs one video and one computer log. The people get immediatly questioned whereas the computer is factual until Spock's proves it's wrong. The idea that mashines and computers make less or no mistakes compared to people is still relevant, see the whole debate about self driving cars.

Also Cogley's speech about human rights and machines not having those rights works really well in the context (will get interesting in TNG)

Generally the acting and interaction of all characters really hold the narrative until the twist in the end

Despite the serious subject the interpersonal moments and the way Cogley works provide some tension relief

I just love the way Spock sits in the captains chair here. No notes.

Con

Jamie can be exhausting

Shaw as an ex shouldn't work this case (even though she's shown as 100% professional and capable)

I know why it's done for the narrative but resolving this serious situation with a fistfight is wild

Counter

Kirk shirt rip (I mean this is the rippiest shirt so far)

Technically Evil AI (as the concept of computers gets explored)

Quote

If I let go of a hammer on a planet that has a positive gravity, I need not see it fall to know that it has in fact fallen. - Spock, believing in Kirk

"Mr Spock, you're the most cold-blooded man I've ever known" "Why, thank you, doctor" -Bones & Spock

Moment

Spock's, McCoy's and Kirk's testimonies

Summary

A great character driven episode that focusses on Kirk as both a person and a captain as well as his relationships with the other characters. The interesting question of computers being fallible as well as a personal betrayal while Kirk's future is on the line make for a good and gripping narrative.

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[trek-tracks]

Something that I think is interesting about McCoy and Spock's dynamic with each other is that neither of them verbalize their affection, instead preferring to show it via action. The fact that they are simultaneously extremely different and extremely similar, I think, is both the cause of much friction and why that friction is so compelling. It's not just that they're philosophical opposites, it's that, practically, they're often alike with a different veneer or mask. (They probably wouldn't get to each other so much if they didn't recognize this to at least some extent.) Neither of them are much with words that acknowledge their importance to each other; it's Kirk who says, "I need you. Badly!" or "I need him."

In the James Blish novelization of Bread and Circuses, McCoy thinks, "I am very fond of this man," but he says, "I know. I'm worried about Jim too." In The Immunity Syndrome, he can't say "Good luck, Spock" until Spock is out of earshot. Even when he's talking to Kirk, he expresses affection obliquely with lines like "Don't destroy the one named Kirk," and when he's on the verge of death, he expresses his affection to Spock by telling Spock, "You've got a good bedside manner," a nod to McCoy's own caring profession that serves as his highest honour.

While McCoy is driven by emotion, he also relies on it as a mask, just like Spock relies on logic as a mask and excuse for any action he decides to take. We see McCoy take action for Spock again and again at the risk of his own life. He rescues him in The Galileo Seven after fighting with him half the time they're stranded on the planet. He volunteers to die in Immunity Syndrome, and he convinces Kirk to save Spock later at great risk. He risks his own mind and life to save Spock in Spock's Brain. He injects himself with an untested vaccine in Miri for many reasons, one of which being to let Spock get back to the ship. He risks his life to snap Spock back to himself in All Our Yesterdays. He defies thousands of years of Vulcan tradition so Spock won't become a murderer. He holds Spock in By Any Other Name.

He agrees to stay on a doomed spaceship/planet so that Spock won't be executed. He tries to stay with the Platonians because Spock is being humiliated (in fact, many of his nice words about Spock are defending Spock to other people--in The Menagerie to Kirk, in Plato's Stepchildren to the Platonians, in The Omega Glory to the villagers...calling him "the best first officer in the Fleet" when he thinks Spock can't hear (or does he? It would be a great excuse).

And then, of course, there's The Empath, where he allows himself to be tortured to death to prevent Spock from being tortured to insanity--not death, but probably worse than for a Vulcan. Much as Bones says he doesn't understand Vulcan dignity in S2, I think he has a clearer idea in S3, considering how much he risks himself for Spock's mind. I'm not even getting into the movies, but Spock clearly trusts McCoy with his soul, and McCoy clearly proves worthy of that trust--and yet, in the same film, we get the "Jim, be careful" "WE will" exchange, with Spock still withholding the words. It becomes almost a game of tacitly acknowledged chicken by the end of the films, with neither willing to break.

The funny thing is that, while both Spock and McCoy show their regard for each other through actions and not words (and both can be genuinely cruel in words that completely belie their actions), many viewers can see Spock's bluff, but not McCoy's, taking everything the latter says at face value. Perhaps that's because they expect McCoy, being emotional, to mean everything he says and say everything he means. That's pretty obviously not true. (Similarly, a lot of people tend to take Spock's self-aggrandizement and McCoy's self-deprecation at face value, but that's another discussion. There's also the theory that McCoy is reinforcing Spock's preferred Vulcanness by allowing him to push back against his statements.)

McCoy challenges Spock to verbalize his feelings instead of the logic he uses as a mask, and Spock in return challenges McCoy to verbalize the actual feelings he feels, not the ones he's expressing as a mask. But it would be so much less interesting if they both clearly said what they meant, instead of going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to save each other's lives.

This scene is so interesting to me.

We all know Bones accuses Spock multiple times that he isn’t able to love (while knowing it’s not true). Bones and some others around him even accuse him being heartless or unemphatic.

Spock IMMEDIATELY started holding Bones’ hands when he found him when Bones was unconscious. He looks worried and upset. He didn’t know if Bones will die, but even when Kirk came, which was after some time, Spock was still holding Bones’ hands and wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. He doesn’t try to wake him up. Just holds his hands.

It looks like he wanted to make sure that if Bones is dying, he won’t be alone. That he will probably feel that Spock is there.

This gesture is touching, and shows how human Spock is, how much he cares for Bones, didn’t want to leave him alone, didn’t go to search for Kirk. It is very touching.

This scene adds a layer to the scene in Bread & Circuses when Bones accuses Spock of being incapable to have a decent warm feeling, to Spock’s reaction “Really, doctor?”. Because he doesn’t want Bones to die not only because it is logical. Probably Spock hoped that Bones knows it, realizes it.

I wonder if Bones felt at this moment Spock’s grip.

It is interesting how Spock often shows signs of affection to Bones, but Bones still doesn’t acknowledge it. Why does Bones want for Spock to acknowledge his affections verbally? Why his actions are not enough for him?

[mccoymccoymccoy]

Kirk - Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.

A/N: I KNOW. I KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE CONTEXT FROM WHEN HE SAID THAT. BUT WHEN HE SAID IT WE ALL GOT A TINGLE, NO? oh well. silly little brain.

Word count: 1,531

God, you were tired. Finally a calm day on the bridge- no engine repairs needed, no hostile encounters, no pointless orders from Starfleet- and yet it felt like the longest day since your shore leave on a planet with twenty hours of sun. Your nose was red and sore from patting at it with your sleeve, and you had a headache like what you imagined being struck by an ice pick would feel like.

“All in order, cap-” you paused, face contorting into the classic pre-sneeze expression. Oh, go away, go away, go away! Miraculously, it did. “-tain,” you finished, rubbing the side of your finger against your nose. He turned around and raised an eyebrow at you. “Lieutenant, it seems like you’ve still got a bit of that cold left. Didn’t Bones order you to take three days off? As long as I can still count, it’s only been two days.” Spock, who was walking past, nodded. “You can indeed still count, captain.” You sighed.

“Sir, with all due respect, a little almost-sneeze isn’t anything to worry about. I believe I’m perfectly able to perform my duties,” you lied.

He put one hand on his hip while the other pinched his forehead, and sighed right back at you. “Y/N, we don’t know how this cold- this virus, works. You heard what Bones said, it’s not like the old common Earth cold. You got hit the worst out of the landing party.” He may be a walking bullshit detector, but his reasoning was a void attempt to you.

You saw your duties as more important than anything, which he normally had incredible respect for, but you’d already lost out on two days. Two days, just kicking around your quarters and sneaking around your deck trying to find something to do. Somehow, every time, Bones or an ensign found you and had to bring you back. Mimicking him, you placed your hands on your hips and shifted your weight to one foot. You were starting to feel a bit light-headed, but you weren’t sure if it was because of the cold or him.

“Come on, Y/N.”

You looked down. His insisting this was really starting to make you nervous- not just because of the prospect of missing out on work. You were so fond of him that surely the rate of your heart and the anxious sweating would just make him more firm in his decision that you were unfit to work! Thinking about him made your headache worse than it already was, too. “Captain, please. I’m alright.” Your nose twitched another sneeze away.

“No more arguing, lieutenant. You’re off for the rest of today and tomorrow. That’s an order. Go.”

“Sir, please-”

“Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.”

You froze. Your face flushed at the thought, and the pressure you’d been adding to your one leg became too much, causing a little stumble. Jim grabbed onto your arms quickly, steadying you. You started to explain about the pressure, but he shook his head. “Spock, you’ve got the bridge. Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you outta here,” he said before sweeping you off your feet into a bridal carry.

Captain Kirk, Captain James T. Kirk, was carrying you back to your own goddamn quarters. You pressed the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his neck against your face to cover your blush- What was his deal! “Captain, if you’re that concerned about my health, perhaps you wouldn’t want to be, well, this close to me? Please, put me down.” He looked down at you, brows furrowed. “It’s not a cold transmitted by contact, Lieutenant,” you sighed a little at him using your official title while carrying you like this. “Doctor McCoy explained that to you already. You’re tired, you almost collapsed on the Bridge, you need to get some sleep and rest. I won’t say it again.”

“But-” He softly stroked your shoulder with his thumb, and it shut you up immediately.

“That’s all I gotta do to quiet you down?” It had clicked for him just a few seconds prior that you weren’t acting strangely just because you were sick. He smiled down at you- something you’d usually expect to be snarky from anyone else after the last comment, but not from him. You knew your face must be redder than your shirt by now, and without thinking, you pressed into his chest to try to hide it. You felt his next chuckle more than you heard it.

You stayed like that for a few moments more until he made it to your door, inside, and to your bed, where he put you down gently. You sat up immediately, and he smiled again.

“Give it up, Lieutenant. I wouldn’t want to have to confine you to your quarters.” You frowned. “Captain, nothing is more important to me than my work. I’ve just got a headache and a tickly nose, at least clear me for tomorrow!” Your head pounded at the effort of raising your voice and you cringed in pain. Jim frowned now too, reaching out and then sitting down beside you. He thought for a moment, while you looked down with your hands in your lap.

“You know, Lieut- Y/N, you know, you’d be no good at your tasks right now anyway.” You laughed quietly. “Gee, thanks, Cap.” You watched as his hand found its way into your lap and between your clammy ones, fingers lacing with yours. He was looking at you, but your own eyes were glued to your lap. His next words were spoken so softly, you could hardly believe this was the same man who’d yelled at you earlier to take a rest.

“That didn’t quite come out how I meant. I meant, you’re an incredible officer who does incredible work here, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to dampen that record because you don’t know how to relax when you need to.”

“This isn’t relaxing,” you sighed. His other hand reached up to cup your cheek, turning your face so you’d look at him. And you did- oh, how you did. How lovely it was to look at him up close, to look so deeply into his eyes you thought you’d never be able to escape. You always tried to avoid eye contact with him, and contact in general- which had always proved difficult. He was always asking you to join the landing party, and then dinner after, and a game in the rec room, and a gym session- you always tagged along, feeling like a pity case and wondering why he’d have you there. It had never once occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about you as you did him.

“I know. Maybe I could help that?” His eyes flickered to your lips for a moment, then back up. You looked down, leaning into his hand on your cheek and finally beginning to grasp the one in your lap rather than just letting it be there. “Maybe,” you said, barely above a whisper. He closed in, slowly at first, then quickly- he kissed you sweetly, and to say you melted inside would be an understatement. You moved one hand to touch the edge of his jaw ever so gently and felt him smile. He pulled away from you a bit, but stayed close, resting his forehead against yours.

“You sure you won’t catch this cold, Jim?” You smiled, and kept your eyes closed. You felt his breath against your cheek as he chuckled before responding: “So now we’re on a first name basis, I see?” You sat up abruptly, the brain fog hadn’t allowed you to interpret that as a joke. “If we aren’t sir, my sincerest apologies, I just-”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and kissed you again. Shorter this time, but not exactly a peck. You blinked at him, and he grinned.

“I was teasing.”

“Ah. Of course. Maybe I really do need some rest.” His eyes suddenly lit up, almost in a comical lightbulb-moment way. “Why don’t I stay with you a bit longer? You know, make sure you actually stay put and all.” You smiled and looked at the floor once again, but not before picking up on a slight blush from him. He truly was a sweetheart. You nodded, humming. “That would be nice, I think. What about the bridge though?”

“Spock will have it under control for as long as needed,” he responded while laying the two of you down. You wrapped an arm around his waist and cuddled into his shoulder, despite still thinking it’s completely inappropriate for you to do this with the captain- but he doesn’t seem concerned at all. Your tiredness had caught up with you once you finally allowed yourself to relax- you let out a loud yawn, and couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. “Try to sleep now, Y/N. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Jim,” you mumbled as you started to drift off. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head, and you could feel him smiling again before your mind finally went quiet.

[ponnearponfarponwhereveryouare]

negotiations of home

Pairing: TOS!McSpirk

Summary: Spock takes the time to examine his thoughts (and feelings) towards the Enterprise's captain and chief medical officer. He decides the most logical course of action is to address his findings.

Rating: G | Word Count: 1862 | also on ao3

Spock had long since learned not to say thoughts tied to emotion. Such ruminations had to be examined critically and in such a time and location so as to not interfere with his work. Only in this way could he put logic first, by making a habit of it. He was not sure if this was the process other Vulcans applied, but it was the one that worked best for him.

He knew he was successful when he was able to apply this method around members of his family; with positive emotions and negative. Only in absolute private he might tell his mother he loved her, tell his sister he missed her, or tell his brother that they were still, always, family.

It was best not to think about the emotions that came up involving his father. Or the feelings around the fact that his family was two and a half parts human and two and a half parts Vulcan. Of not being a whole.

Those walls had begun to slip, of late. And that was because he was faced with emotions that were not tangled up in his Vulcan upbringing. Feelings that included a sense of being held together, a chance at healing his two halves.

Which brought him to the matter at hand.

"You're you, Spock!" Leonard snapped, though the anger was not directed at Spock himself. The doctor was pacing about Jim's quarters, while Spock sat at the Captain's desk observing him. "You're not broken! All you have to do in this life is be honest with yourself."

Spock raised a brow. "Is this a time for the old anecdote, physician heal thyself?"

Leonard managed to scowl deeper. "Damn it, man, at least I'm trying. Talking about these sorts of things with someone you trust and care about is important."

"Is that not what I am attempting to do?" Spock asked. Before Jim had been called away to deal with a potential issue among the Enterprise's current guests, Spock had gathered both Jim and Leonard together with the purpose of working through a line of thought that had followed him around for the past 30 days.

Leonard deflated a bit, rubbing his hands together in a nervous manner. Spock attempted not to stare, as the emotions that evoked were ones he had not yet begun to speak of.

"Do not worry, Leonard, I will not continue until Jim has returned," Spock said in a tone he hoped would be reassuring.

"How am I supposed to do that, with you calling us by our names?" Leonard protested, now tossing his hands up in the air.

"It is a personal matter, so it would be illogical to use your professional titles."

"And that's why I'm nervous! Last time you had a personal matter that you had to involve me and Jim in, you were dying or your father was dying." Leonard didn't return to pacing, instead, he crossed the room and kneeled beside Spock. His blue eyes were wide and filled with concern.

"My apologies. I did not mean to raise alarm," Spock said, reaching out towards Leonard. He wasn't sure what he'd do, but he needed such dramatics to end. It brought an uncomfortable warmth that was tempting to lean into. To drown in. “Please, stand.” Spock stopped himself before he actually could touch Leonard’s elbows.

Leonard seemed to take a long enough time pondering this request as to border on his usual teasing. He finally stood, pressing a hand against Spock’s knee as he did. He settled then into Jim’s other chair so that they were now directly across from each other. “So you’re not dying.”

“Not that I am aware of. Though as my doctor, I believe you are to give me such status updates.”

This returned Leonard to a... huffier state. “I’d be able to do that if you didn’t lie to me.”

“Vulcan’s do not lie,” Spock reminded him.

“Oh really? Then it seems like I’ll need a copy of whatever definition you’re using for the word.”

Jim returned to catch that last exchange. “Gentlemen. I see I haven’t missed anything.” He was smiling, coming to lean against the partition that divided his quarters.

Spock found himself calmed by Jim’s presence. “The Andorian ambassador is settled?”

“Yes, Scotty was able to change the climate control settings for her quarters to something comfortable,” Jim said, as he looked from Spock to Leonard and back. “Where were we?”

“Spock was telling us something that is a “personal matter",” Leonard provided. “I’ve got him to promise no one is dying.”

“Statistically in the breadth of the universe and even just among life as we know it, at this moment-”

“Shut it!” Leonard’s tone was supposed to be sharp, but it was too rounded by his own laughter.

“Very well,” Spock turned towards Leonard, both eyebrows raised, and remained silent.

“Jim, look what he’s doing now!” Leonard complained, leaning closer towards Spock, as close as he could get with the desk between them.

Jim’s laughter filled the silence, and he crossed the room to sit on the corner of his desk. “Spock, Bones, come now.” His face was in that easy grin of his, the one Spock associated with times when all was well. “Spock, what did you want to talk to us about?”

Yes, the mission at hand. One that he had set for himself because, given the nature of their work and luck, it seemed best to share his thoughts sooner than later. Spock had planned the words he would say carefully, trying to predict what response he might get. He would not call himself nervous, as that emotion tended to be one of the most illogical.

“Yeah Spock, sorry,” Leonard smiled kindly, leaning back again. His foot nudged Spock’s under the table in what must have been encouragement. Leonard rarely apologized for their mutual antagonization of the other, another sign he was taking this seriously.

���It has come to my attention that I hold you both in strong regard.” Spock thought that was as good a place to start as any, even as his practiced words seemed to fall away. He should have written them down... But that would have no doubt brought Leonard’s amusement and possibly ire. “I also know, while it is not the practice on Vulcan, for many cultures it is customary to let those you care about know of your regard towards them.”

Both Leonard and Jim were silent, which was not one of the responses Spock had anticipated. It was Leonard who finally spoke and said, “Are you sure you’re not dying? Because you just admitted to having an emotion. Several, in fact.”

“Indeed. It was our last away mission that brought me to further examine my feelings towards both Jim and yourself.” Spock had been the one, after 27.8 frantic hours, to find and rescue the captain and chief medical officer. Between coordinating the rescue effort, Spock found his thoughts consumed with things he wished to tell them both. “I... care for you both. My existence is greatly improved by your presence in it.”

He hoped that they could understand all he was not able to say. ‘Don’t leave me, I need you, I missed you, I-’

“Spock,” Jim’s voice was soft, and when Spock looked up at him, so was his expression. “I feel the same.” He then looked towards Leonard, and Spock followed his gaze.

Leonard looked between them both, and his blinking grew more rapid. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough. “Damnit, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost either of you. You’ve both managed to pick up my pieces and put them back together. I can’t remember the last time I felt complete.”

Of course, Leonard, who was better with emotions than either Spock or Jim, would put the words to it: that there existed between them something that exceeded a friendship bond. They had become family. Partners. A tension settled then, the question -

“What do we do?” Jim voiced it. “It’s not as if we can stop going on dangerous missions. That’s not the life we signed up for.”

“I know neither of you could be happy sitting by,” Leonard agreed. “You’re explorers to your cores. And someone who asks you to change your very nature isn’t worth keeping.”

Keep. Spock turned the word over in his mind. “It seems that what is in our power to change is the parameters of our relationship.”

Jim let out a breath that sounded like ‘yes.’

“If you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, that’d be against regulation.” Leonard pointed at Spock. “Would you be okay with that?”

“Affirmative.” Spock had to focus to keep his tone even. This was not one of the outcomes he had let himself ponder. His desire for it would have become overwhelming.

“What about the ol’ needs of the many over the few?” Leonard said, and Spock knew he wasn’t arguing because he was against the possibility now hanging heavy in the room, more tangible than it had ever been before because it had been named. Leonard was making sure Spock was sure; that he was comfortable.

“You are both professionals, whom I trust not to let the personal adversely interfere with the running of the ship.” It was an easier answer than he thought. “I even theorize that such a change in our relationship could improve personal performance.”

“Now that is a theory that I want to test.” Jim moved to stand, so he could face them both fully. His smile was back and wider than Spock could recall seeing it. “I’d like to very much.”

Leonard was smiling now as well. “Why am I surprised that this has been the weirdest way I’ve ever been asked out?”

“Come on Bones, for science,” Jim’s eyes twinkled, and he reached out to catch one of Leonard’s hands. “But more importantly, for... love.”

Spock watched the way their fingers fit together, and almost missed that Jim had spoken the final unspoken word. He looked back towards their expressions, before standing himself and coming closer, to stand between them both.

“Of course I will,” Leonard said. “Spock?”

“Affirmative,” Spock said again, and added, while carefully watching Leonard’s expression. “It should prove fascinating.” Before Leonard could offer a retort to that, Spock held out his index and middle finger to him. A gesture he knew the good doctor had picked up the significance of.

Leonard’s eyes went wide once more, but he didn’t hesitate before reciprocating the gesture. Once he had, Spock felt a wave of affection he could not pinpoint as his own emotion or Leonard’s. Spock then offered the same to Jim, who looked like he had been given a gift to rival his captaincy of the Enterprise.

When Jim’s finger’s met Spock’s, the three of them stood visibly connected in a way Spock knew their lives had already long been. This, then, was proof that he would not lose them. At least, not without making sure they knew what they meant to him.

It spoke of a new beginning, a new adventure, shared between the three of them.

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 1: 3x06 Spectre of the Gun

Okay so, it might be a little early to declare myself a S3 apologist, since there are still a lot of eps I’ve never seen, but I feel like I’m pretty close..

This ep was so good!! Honestly I think it’s one of my faves. And perfect to usher in Spooky Season.

Honestly, this show really is my happy place. Just all the characters together on the bridge, on some kinda adventure, looking at weird space buoys and investigating stuff.

Again, this buoy looks like a Windows 98 screensaver.

Kirk keeps referring to Spock as “Science Officer.” Is he mad at him? Full of some particularly intense longing that requires him to put extra distance between them?

Excuse me, you address US as aliens? YOU’RE the aliens.

Hmmm, so it seems they’re not friendly.

It’s addressing them in different languages!!! I love it. Love the reminder that Uhura’s first language is not English,also.

“True telepaths are dangerous.” As opposed to fake telepaths like Vulcans lol?

The Melkotians withdrew immediately. They invented space travel, they saw space, and they said “not for us” and they turned around and left. McCoy would like them; they’d have a lot to gripe about together.

The welcome mat is NOT out.

“Unlike Mr. Scott’s transporter, this unit is not functioning.”

It legit looked like Spock put his hand on Kirk’s back there. Like he clearly raises it, but not far enough to be seen above Kirk, so like.. what was the point? Where did it go?

LEE CRONIN--oh no, flashbacks lol.

“We come in peace”--immediately pulls out gun.

I should have watched this when writing my Western fic.

Just bits and pieces of a Western town... and a completely red sky...

The guns are “crude but dangerous.” If only Sulu were here; he’d love this.

An announcement with a specific time and place on it--that’s a very precise detail to just pull from their minds. Must have come from Kirk’s, that nerd. Maybe Spock. But probably Kirk.

“Because my ancestors pioneered the American frontier.” I mean did they really get to the frontier? Or just... the Midwest?

Maybe it’s actually because he’s a cowboy at heart?

Aliens using his own ancestral sins as the pattern for his own death for breaking their law IS a great (possibly partially unintended) idea. Oh also, if they think that Kirk and co. are here to ‘tame’ or colonize them, then the Western setting makes even more sense--you’re no different from your ancestors, you came somewhere new and brought lawlessness and violence and death, but not this time!

Can you believe Kirk knows all of these details about the OK Corral? NERD.

Spock is so proud of himself for knowing the phrase “had it out.” Look, I used slang correctly!

These are some creative aliens.

“We know death is real here.” Or is it? They’re literally telepaths guys.

Hmmm, this building doesn’t need a roof I think. - The aliens probably

Can’t believe Scotty thinks his usual is his actual usual lol. You’re going to drink bourbon and like it!

Kirk and Spock look so good together.

They’re obviously Chekov’s disapproving parents.

“The day is still young, Ensign.” I don’t remember the exact context of this but Spock is SO judgmental.

What is Kirk doing? This guy is a hallucination; he won’t be convinced by touching some cloth. There’s nothing to convince! He’s only a Concept.

“Have you seen clothes like this?” / “Yes.” / “Where?” / “On the Claytons!” Comedy gold.

Kirk really thinks he can charm his way out of anything. Hmmm, maybe if I just talk nicely to the Earps, they won’t kill us.

“In small amounts, it [bourbon] was considered medicinal.” Lol.

Scotty is becoming a bourbon guy!

“Mr. Chekov is inVOLVed” lol. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“A lot of people and things have tried to kill me.” No need to brag.

THAT’S how you make a city limits sign. Put a dead animal skull on top. I live quite close to a city limits sign and I think it could use a cow skull.

Western Cossacks!!

Poisonous snakes and cactus plants. That really distills the Aesthetic down to its core.

This is a good Kirk episode. He’s really being a good Captain: coming up with different ideas, being creative, pushing his crew to brainstorm.

Bones and his tranqs again.

Bones meets his old nemesis: Old Timey Medicine.

Why was Doc Holiday just...chilling in his own dentist chair? (My mom suggested: power nap. Let’s go with that. Power nap + ability for optimally dramatic entrance.)

Also I can’t believe McCoy just goes into this guy’s practice and starts helping himself to all the serious drugs.

Chekov definitely isn’t the marrying kind.

RIP Chekov.

Bones does not sound very sympathetic here. Jim, get over it, he just died, whatever.

And then two seconds later he turns around and tells Spock he’s not sad enough! You can’t win.

“We all knew the risk when we joined the service.”

“My feelings are not a subject for discussion.” !!!!!!! This line!!

“You worked closely with him.” Yes! Chekov is his protege!

“Bones, Scotty, stop bullying Spock.” <-- not an actual quote but it might as well be.

If this were AOS, Spock would already be choking Bones out.

Whoops, no one told Chekov he wasn’t supposed to die!

“Let’s organize! Let’s form an anti-Earp union!”

“I can’t kill them!” he says in a mad rage.

I mean, it is important, though. That’s not what he does.

Kirk is /disgusted/ by lawlessness and frontier justice. What a Rebel TM.

I feel like Bones was waiting for the gotcha moment when Spock compliments him. “Saying nice things about me? That’s not how this relationship works!”

“Nothing can go wrong.” / “Up to now, everything has gone wrong.” He has a point.

That pause before Spock admitted it hasn’t been tested lol--they don’t want to admit it.

“[The bourbon’s] for the pain.” / “But this is painless.” / “You should have told me that before.” The unexpected comedy stylings of Scotty and Spock.

It doesn’t work--guess Spock’s got to take back that compliment now.

“Captain, you don’t understand--they’ve been telepaths the whole time which we already knew!”

“We’re not going to move from the spot.” * is immediately in a different spot * Well I mean at least he’s trying. He’s doing his best!

Love the OK Corral sign also. Weirdly creepy. With its accompanying horse.

Spock doesn’t have any hips for the holster to rest on.

“What did Chekov die of?” / “A piece of lead in his body.” That would do it.

If the tranquilizer should have been effective, does that mean Scotty is actually passed out right now?

Honestly, this is all so spooky. TRUE Western Horror Ghost Vibes.

Also very trippy. If you don’t believe it... it’s not real... some kinda weird chicken and the egg argument regarding our belief in the truth of physical laws idk but it sounds good. Spock brings it home.

Even with the wind whipping around him, Kirk is SO in love. His absolutely adoring expression... So soft...

“Very well, Sir, I’ll meld with you again. Not that I particularly want to. It will be a sacrifice. But I’ll manage. Even though you’re such a dynamic individual haha ha I’m fine I’m cool.”

I feel like Scotty is NOT into the mind meld. He looks terrified. Maybe he should have saved the bourbon for this occasion.

I know the mind meld is supposed to be a replacement for on screen hypnotism...but is this not hypnotism? Like even more than past uses? In this case, Spock is leaving them with suggestions that he wants to continue AFTER the meld, as opposed to, like, efficiently sharing information or giving immediate suggestions. And the scenes themselves are very creepy and...hypnotic.

Kirk’s patented move: WHOLE BODY ATTACK.

Well, we wrapped that up right quick.

Did they... never actually leave the bridge? Or even navigate past the buoy? This actually brings up a lot of questions as to when the aliens started the hallucinations, what their bodies looked like to the rest of the crew, and how they woke up--since there’s obviously been a bit of a time skip, as Bones is already examining Chekov.

Lol at Chekov, saved by horniness. “Nothing but the girl was real to him.”

“A vast alliance of fellow creatures who all believe in the same thing...”

Kirk’s vision of the utopian future is so powerful, he’s effectively gotten the welcome mat put back out.

A personal question? Kirk is intrigued.

Ah, but it’s just another excuse for Spock to be a hypocrite--how did humans survive? How did VULCANS survive? And for the show to remind us of its utopian vision of the future... we will move past violence, we will prove ourselves attractive to and worth of new alien friends.

Then McCoy walks out so Kirk and Spock can have their Moment. He undoubtedly knows what’s up.

So this ep was shown one day before the anniversary of the shootout at the OK Corral AND on Halloween week. It is very much a spooky season episode. So surreal and strange. Ghostly.

I know using sets rather than on location shoots, and not even building whole sets, was a budgetary issue but tbqh I think it worked in the ep’s favor. It added to the alien feeling of it and was an accidentally creative way of showing that these images were pulled from Kirk’s mind.

This felt like a very Classic S1-ish ep to me. I think it’s because Kirk was foregrounded as the Captain/hero and we get to see not just his intelligence and creativity and leadership but also his compassion and his moral core. He IS the values of the series, personified, and that was clear here.

But we also got to see lots of him and Spock, casually working as a pair, and the use of the rest of the landing party crew was very deft also. I loved that there was time to mock Chekov’s horniness, to talk about Spock and Chekov’s professional relationship, to joke around with Scotty, to show more of the Spock and Bones dynamic.

Again, great sci fi concept. I think this would have been another possible inspo for my Pirate AU if I’d seen it in time (although I think I picked a good mission-concept ultimately). I’m fascinated by the Melkotians: who are they? What do they really look like? Do they communicate any other way but telepathically? Are they corporeal? What is their planet like? And most importantly, what experience lead them to be so isolationist? They specifically refer to the aliens as “disease” coming into their home. And it’s when Kirk shows himself to be fundamentally nonviolent even in the face of his own death, they let the Enterprise through.

Basically, I always enjoy hints of alien societies that bring up more questions for me than answers. I love speculating about it.

The next two eps I’ve seen and remember well and I know they’re classics. I’m really looking forward to them!

[calliecat93]

Seriously though, the thing that annoyed me most about the Kelvin Timeline films is how is really did not understand Kirk, McCoy, or the Triumvirate dynamic. I don’t want to rant on the AOS films too much, they’re perfectly fine movies and being a newbie fan maybe I just don’t have the understanding of things tat I thought. But after spending two months watching all of TOS and loving it so much because of that dynamic... it just irks me. I know that reboots have to do things differently. Things have to change or you get an urban copy with no identity for value on it’s own. But at the same time, you have to understand that original property and put in the time and effort to make it work. Reboots like Ducktales 2017 worked because that effort was make. Reboots like The Powerpuff Girls 2016 failed because no effort was made at all. The AOS films made an effort, don’t get me wrong. But aside form Beyond, it just feel like they either didn’t understand how The Triumvirate and their respecitve dynamics worked and hwy it was so essential (and even then Beyond ain’t perfect int hat area) or decided that it was better to stick to pop culture interpretations despite those almost ALWAYS being exaggerations.

Kirk is a risk-taker and could be reckless and arrogant at times. But he was also perfectly level-headed and responsible as well, and no him being younger (if anything TOS said he was kind of a serious, overly studious person int he Academy so shouldn’t his arc be int he opposite direction?) or this being an alternate timeline (with the films doing NOTHING to explain/justify the changes the event that triggered it made) is NOT a valid excuse. This was the film going by the pop culture interpretaiton of Kirk. A reckless, arrogant, rebellious, womanizing idiot who has a heroic soul, but is a pain int he ass. Which sure it’s fun to joke about, but that is a shallow reaidg of James T Kirk. He was brave, responsible, charming, and VERY dedicated to his duty. Sure he’d go against Starflee’s orders sometimes, but he knew when to judge whenw as the time, hece hwy he needs Spock AND McCoy with him. He needs the logical half (Spock) and the emotional half (McCoy) to find the balance. To make the right choice. Sometimes it may be best to be logical. other times it’s best to be emotional. Sometimes it’s a combo of the two. But Kirk had the ability to take those options and make the right choice and f he makes the wrong one, find a way to make it right. Sometimes it meant going against Starfleet’s orders, sometimes he abided by it. Sometimes he could be rational, other times his emotions or circumstances got the better of him. But regardless, this was a man who proved over and over why he is a Starfleet Captain and one of the best. AOS Kirk got there eventually, but... let’s just say that he never should have gotten that captain chair in 2009.

McCoy has always pretty much ben given the shaft compared to Kirk and Spock since the former is the main character and the latter is the breakout character. Event he TOS movies are guilty fo sidelining him, though at least those tried to keep him involved. TOS is guilty of it too, but they also put a lot into his character even if not everything made it onto the screen. My point is... what is McCoy’s role aside from Chief Medical Officer? He is the one who gets Jim to took at the emotional/human aspect of situations. He is the who challenges Spock and his repressed emotions. If Spock is concerned about the needs of the many, McCoy is the one concerned with the few or the one left behind. He’s a doctor. A psychologist. A caretaker. It’s his JOB to look after the well-being of everyone especially Kirk physically, mentally, and emotionally. Essentially, he is the opposite of Spock. Spock is the logical one. The big picture person. The one whose roll is to keep Kirk on task and remind him of what’s truly at stake depending on their success or failure. He’s not emotionless, but logic will be what he leans towards first unless certain circumstances forces him otherwise. They are the opposite ends of the spectrum. Because AOS made Kirk the opposite end of the spectrum compared to Spock, McCoy loses his roll nor does he take up being the balance between the two ends. Essentially Kirk and Spock have to sort it out on their own, which... well if you read my watchthrough post you know I didn’t care for how it was done. McCoy’s part was sorely missing. He was just...t here. he filled the sarcastic best friend spot well, don’t get me wrong and he DID feel like McCoy because Karl Urban is a great actor who cared about what he was doing. But the narrative clearly didn’t feel the same way.

Here’s what I think, and again as a newbie fan maybe I just don’t have the proper understanding. I apologize for that. But TOS was at it’ best, imo, when these three were together. They were great on their own. Their respective broken up dynamics (Kirk and Spock, Spock and McCoy, McCoy and Kirk) were all also great. But went they were together? Even during the show’s lowest points, they were at their best. heck Final Frontier, while NOT a good movie, was enjoyable because of these three being together and doing their thing. Sure TOS might not gave given McCoy the attention he deserved and maybe Kirk and Spock hogged too much of the attention due to their main character (and Shatner’s ego) and being the most popular character respectively which affected EVERYONE else, not just Bones. But you can tell when the writers realized what they had with The Triumvirate, and they took advantage of that. I can only speak for myself but while I was liking ST TOS alright, it was near the end of S1 when they began focusing more on these three with the finale seeming to be when it truly clicked into place that I went from liking it to becoming a fan. Because the dynamic was just that good.

AOS just... didn’t seem to get it. Beyond did, but even then they spend most of the movie part so it can’t really shine fully. Now they are films. They get two hours a piece at most. TOS had an hour runtime, but got over 20 episodes a season and six films. It had PLENTY of hours to form and showcase the respective characters, relationship dynamics, and the three together. But tbf again, the films were made when TOS was about 40 years old. But they ultimately decided to go how they did, and it just... missed the mark. Kirk wasn’t Kirk and given McCoy’s most emotional traits without his common sense. McCoy lost hi importance and relegated to side character. Spock... honestly he got it the best of the three, through given a LOT more unnecessary angst when his TOS story already gave him everything he needed to be sympathetic and relatable. Seriously, Amanda dying still pisses me off especially HOW she died. But he at least maintained his role and played it mostly well. The dynamic that made TOS so great was broken, and I highly doubt that was the big change that was supposed to signal how this timeline is broken. Which, sorry to say this, but it is just an easy excuse for whatever changes are made without having to put the work in to justify it. Which when it comes to reboot, is one of my biggest issues.

Again, I don’t mean to bash the AOS films. I don’t hate them. I liked watching them. It took a bit but the characters did grow on me. Whether it continues or not, there is potential in it and I can see fanon getting very creative with it especially because there’s so much that allows so much creative freedom. Plus they DID bring this era of Star Trek back to popular conscious, hence why Spock has likely been brought back in Discovery and soon Strange New Worlds. But I just feel so... annoyed by it because it took the thing I loved most about TOS, and cowered away from it. I was so excited to see these three together again after being so sad when I finished TOS, and it just... wasn’t there. I expected it to be different, not essentially non-existent. But ah well, guess I have fanon at least. I can only hope that if this reboot continues or a new one emerges, they will do better there. Because I want to see them again and it’s okay fi they’re different form TOS. I just want those differences to come with the understanding and respect of what came before. And AOS, at least int his area, did not until it was arguably too late. It’s not even close tot he worst reboot I’ve ever seen though and like I said, Beyond showed signs of hope. But only time will tell if they lead to anything.

[afteriwake]

The Prince Next Door (1/7 - A “The Hidden Royal Prince” Story)

And here is the last of the finished fics I have done! Or at least the first part. This one there weren’t many addittions to after what had already been posted, but I tweaked the chapters already up and I don’t even think @greenskyoverme has seen the tweaks. So please enjoy!

The Prince Next Door - There's something about the Vulcan who lives in apartment 2B, something Jim doesn't find out until the Vulcan is attacked: he's Prince S’chn T’gai, trying to hide from the planetary troubles on his home planet. But the man, who tells him to call him Spock, ends up becoming more important to him and in his world than he ever realized.

Read Chapter 1 | Series Page | Help Me Survive? | Commission Me?

There was something...different...about the guy in 2B.

Not just that he was a Vulcan. Vulcans were kind of rare on Earth, but Jim had met a few. Apparently, there was some turmoil on their home planet, a conflict with a race known as the Romulans, and a few had escaped to Earth and were integrating themselves in Earth society. So it wasn’t that he was a Vulcan. Not entirely. He could get used to the inherent...weirdness, he guessed was the best way to describe some of the stuff the guy did.

No, it was something else. Something that was just...different. Whether he was Vulcan or human or whatever, it was the kind of thing that would stick out like a sore thumb. He was different in a way that would be different for anyone, regardless of race. Something that smacked of...superiority, maybe? Of privilege?

If he had to guess, he’d have guessed that the guy in 2B wasn’t just any Vulcan. He was an important Vulcan.

But maybe he was just letting his mind get away from him. That was what his uncle would say. James Tiberius Kirk, getting caught up in a flight of fancy, head in the clouds. It was the whole reason the minute he’d been old enough, he’d gotten on his bike and taken the hell off from Iowa and headed straight for San Francisco. It wasn’t like he had gotten the chance to actually finish his education, not with the ball buster making him miss class to run the “family business,” basically meaning his uncle sat on his ass while he did all the work.

He knew his family didn’t think all that highly of him, but he was better than their expectations. He knew it deep down and he made it a point to prove it, whether they ever saw it or not. And he was doing good here, far away and on his own. He was pulling good grades at the college he was going to, better than his teachers in Iowa had ever considered him capable of. The books he’d borrowed from the library and read under the covers at night when his uncle didn’t notice had been worth something after all. He’d already gotten his GED and he’d have his bachelor’s degree in a matter of months, and then?

Starfleet.

He’d show each and every person who doubted he’d make something of himself. He’d prove all of them wrong.

The thud from 2B jarred him out of his thoughts. It was followed by the sound of breaking glass, and he was up and out of his chair in a heartbeat. Another thing he was was impulsive, and if the weird Vulcan next door needed his help, damn it, he’d give it. He threw his door open, sprinted the few steps over to the door to 2B, which was ajar, and peered inside. He could see the Vulcan in a chair, another man standing over him, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. “Hey, asshole!” Jim called out, pushing the door open and rushing at the man standing over the Vulcan. He had the element of surprise and pulled his arm back, smashing his fist across the man’s face.

He didn’t count on the second man in the room, though.

The first man went down like a light as a lamp went across his shoulder blade and the side of his head. It hurt like hell and he stumbled, but that seemed to give the Vulcan enough time to get up from his seat and move past him to the second man. He did some sort of fancy move with his hand to the second man’s neck and he, too, went down like a light. Then he turned to Jim. “Come,” he said. “We must call to have them removed, and I must inform my security detail they were lax in their duties. My father will not be pleased.”

“Who the hell are you?” Jim said, moving his hand to his neck. It felt sticky, and when he pulled it away, he saw red blood. “Great.”

The Vulcan came over and inspected the wound. “You need to have the wound treated. Do you have a medical kit?”

“A basic one,” Jim said.

“We will go to your domicile and I will tend to your wound,” he said. “Do you need support?”

Jim shook his head. “I’ve been hurt worse breaking up bar fights.” The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. “My job. I’m a bouncer at a bar.” He nodded towards the door. “I’d kind of like to keep this shirt free of blood.”

“Of course,” the Vulcan said. They began to head to Jim’s apartment. “Thank you for the rescue attempt. I admit, I overestimated my odds of overcoming my opponents, since my security detail was nowhere to be found.”

“Maybe they were scarce on purpose,” Jim said.

The Vulcan tilted his head. “Perhaps. That is something I had not considered. They may be loyal to my father’s enemies. There are traitors to his house.”

Jim gave him a confused look and stopped in his tracks. “Who are you?” he asked.

The Vulcan nodded toward Kirk’s apartment. “When we are in the privacy of your apartment, I shall properly introduce myself.” Jim shrugged slightly and kept walking. His door was still open, and the two of them walked in and the Vulcan shut the door behind him. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “I am Prince S’chn T’gai. My father is the ruler of the planet Vulcan. I have been sent here for my safety during the conflict with the Romulans. You may simply call me...Spock.”

Jim looked at him a moment, then moved to one of the stools at his kitchen counter and reached for the bottle of whiskey there, pouring himself a shot from the collection of shot glasses his friend Bones had given him. “Well, while you clean me up and tell me the whole story, I’m going to have a drink, because I think I’m going to need it.”

“Fair enough.”

[haveyouseenmymind]

The last Love Letter

Uhm… I’m sorry? First thing I’ve written since January and it’s sad and angsty and there’s no happy ending. But I really like it and I hope Jim dying won’t scare everyone away.

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: strongly hinting at McKirk

Warning: Major Character Death

Words: 1087

Jim died on their last away mission and now Leonard finds himself in his friend’s quarters.

So this was it. This was the point, where his live would end for good. No Bones this time to save him.

Oh god, Bones.

He didn’t want to leave him behind, but he had no choice.

Bones.

And with the last thought of his best friend, Jim felt his consciousness slip away.

+++

Leonard felt numb. His body moved without him through the empty corridors, usually filled with live and crew mates chattering. No one was here, as everyone was assembled mourning the Captain.

Jim was dead.

Kidnapped by some fucking Klingons, tortured and then left on his own, slowly bleeding out while hoping his crew would find him before he would die all alone in a dirty cell.

But Leonard and the rescue team had come too late, Jim was long gone when the doctor finally had reached for his friend, checking his missing pulse with slightly shaking hands.

Jim was gone and Leonard was left behind in this damn tin can making its lonely way through space that once again had proved to be made of danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence.

Jim was gone and Leonard still didn’t want to believe it.

Without really paying attention, he suddenly stood in front of his friend’s quarters. He rose his hand, to punch the code into the pin pad like he had done so many times before.

But his hands were shaking and he hesitated moving on further.

What did he expect to find here?

His friend was gone and all he left behind were his lifeless quarters filled with memories from past missions, planets they had nearly forgotten now and cultures long gone.

After minutes of staring at the door in front of him, he finally got over his uncertainty and stepped into the Captain’s quarters. He was greeted by deafening silence threatening to overwhelm him, as he made his way to the huge desk.

It was still a mess, as if he just left to come back after his shift and sit down to frown over Spock’s latest reports.

Several PADDs were strewn all over the surface -  reports, assignments and whatever else clattered there as if their reader had laid them down with his mind being occupied with the next important task.

Jim’s favourite mug, gifted to him by a bright eyed Pavel Chekov who thought it would be funny to present Jim something proclaiming him to be #1 Captain, was left at the same spot as earlier in the morning, when Leonard had visited his friend right before their shifts had started. A dark ring of residual coffee still adorning the desk as the last witness of Jim being alive and going on with his daily routine, everything just as it should be. A quiet moment before the storm.

Leonard couldn’t take his eyes of the chaos in front of him. It was just so typical Jim, who was normally so collected and had everything under control. Who only let go in his own private space, where he felt safe enough to let some of that control slip away from him.

Suddenly all-consuming rage threatened to swallow him wholey. He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t face this picture of false safety any longer. In one desperate bout of rage he swept everything off on that desk mocking him.

The mug shattered immediately, leaving behind hundreds of shards and Leonard felt as if each of them was piercing his heart, tearing him open and he sank down on his knees, bitterness slowly choking him and making it impossible to breathe.

Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed a leather-bound notebook standing out between all of the PADDs surrounding it. Jim always had a weakness for old fashioned books made of paper and ink, feeling more real than any of the modern data storing devices ever could.

The brunet grasped the slim book, let his hands feel the cold smooth cover while he contemplated if he should have a look on the content or leave Jim’s private thoughts alone.

But Jim was gone and this was the last thing his best friend left behind and all he needed was something, anything…

He desperately needed his friend who was gone and who couldn’t give him anything ever again but this notebook.

So of course he opened it, skipped through the pages to realise that this was some kind of diary filled with observations about his crew, praisings and all the love he held for the family he had chosen for himself.

Here in his hands laid all the emotions Jim wasn’t willed to share with the Captain’s Log.

He skipped those entries till he reached the last, dated the night before that cursed away mission.

Leonard’s breath stopped when his eyes danced over the last words his friend had left behind for the world.

No, only left for him. Right there in his hands Leonard held a love letter Jim had dedicated to his best friend.

Can’t sleep again.

I’m sitting here, sighing like a lovesick fool.

Which, I may be?

Is it love? Am I in love with Bones?

Honestly, I don’t know. But my heart is aching with longing to be with you, to see you, hear you, smell you.

I wish for waking up drowsily and seeing you as the first thing in the morning. To wake up, and soak up your warmth, while you’re shifting closer to me and bury yourself in my arms.

I want to see you smile. See your face shifting into full happiness, to see if your nose would crunch up and how much your eyes would light up.

I want to kiss this smile of your face. To feel the love in my heart overflow with the joy of seeing you happy and the only thing I would be able to do is kiss you and pour all my undying love for you into it.

I simply just wanna be with you. Wanna be your strength when you feel lost, wanna share every success with you and just want to get to know, what live with your love would mean.

I just want to be by your side forever, and share every part of your life with you, so I can see you grow and conquer life and proudly tell the world that you’re letting me be a part of you.

I just want you.

So yeah, if this isn’t love, then I don’t know.

And Leonard couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

tags: @thevalesofanduin @medicatemedrmccoy @toosouthernforspace

If anybody else wants to be tagged in my fics just let me know. :)

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 12 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

Lotta high hopes riding on this one, folks, in spite of the permanently-Simpsons-tarred villain name. Will they wind up breaking the Conscience of the King? Let’s find out.

* Easily the least science fiction-y opening we’ve had so far: no Enterprise bridge, no stars, just a single line of dialogue this is an Earth play being done by non-Earthlings. * Aww, Kirk’s pals with Nick Fury! * So the inspiration for this one isn’t hard to figure - fugitive Nazi hunts were all the rage back in the ‘60s. Which makes it all the more interesting how eager Kirk is to brush the whole thing off. * The best forensics Starfleet has to offer... what, couldn’t even get fingerprints for comparison? * Hope you’re read up on your Poe too, good Captain. You oughta know what happens to Lenores... * Woo. Now there’s a mood-killer. ** I swear, if it turns out he faked his death just to guilt Kirk into investigating... * Now, now, Mr. Spock. Green isn’t your color. * “The regulations are very clear about taking on passengers... especially after that Charlie kid passed through.” * Another benchmark (I think) the first solo Spock-Bones dialog. ** “Now I know why they were conquered.” Jesus, Bones, I thought you were past your racist phase! * So... the tour scene. I can practically feel the effort dripping off every word of the script, but it still falls a ways short of actually convincing me Kirk has any  emotional investment in this, rather than just stringing her along for leads. At the very least, they could’ve found a slightly more organic metaphor to tie into the idea of Kirk being chained by his command. * In contrast, this very next scene is something that shouldn’t work but does: Spock spits out the entire story behind Kirk’s behavior in roughly two minutes, before the episode’s even halfway done. Part of it is Nimoy, letting just the right amount of “fuck Vulcan culture, I have things to say about eugenics” fury seep through, and the other part is all in the script: Kodos’ butchery is one of those things that looks kiiiiinda reasonable if you’re in the ruler’s seat, and absolutely goddamn horrifying from literally any other POV. Both options, at least on paper, could driving Kirk’s own stake in this whole thing. * Oh hey, it’s the Irish guy from The Naked Time! Welcome to the “only people who can hang Kodos (assuming he’s still alive)” club! ** Aaaaaand goodbye. Really, hanging out in that big a room by yourself, you were kinda asking for it. ** (Also: Windex in his milk is a hilariously Realistic(tm) way of going about it, but I kinda wish they tried ear-poison for full Shakespeare points.) ** (Also also: Why do I get the feeling someone on-set probably cracked a “Christ, Uhura’s singing was that bad?!”) * So Bones and Spock confront Kirk over... something. I’m theoretically happy that the script isn’t taking the easy way out and making them go “You’re just seeing things, Jim!”, but the whole oooh-Kirk-might-snap thing isn’t much good for building suspense, since at this point Kirk still insists on taking the investigation slow. Hell, if anything they should be dragging him over not putting more men on the case! * And now, Kirk and Spock reenact me searching for my car keys * Alright, we’re deep in the third act now, so let’s get that face-to-face showdown going. I’m sure Kirk’s carefully arranged the most subtle, intricate questions for teasing out- ** Or he could just ask him “Are you Kodos?” point-blank. Captain’s privilege. ** In all seriousness, this scene jumps out to me for one reason: neither of these men needs to go this far. All Kirk needs is a straightforward voice-print; all Kodos (or is he?!) needs is to go “Oh gee, this Kodos of yours sounds like a douche! Sure hope he’s gone for good!” Instead, they lay all their cards out, because tiptoeing around their motives feels inherently repugnant; what they’re doing is Right, element of surprise be damned. * Alas, we end the act not on this, but on another goddamn sitcom cue of ~Lieutenant NPC overhearing something~ * Alright, so I guess this thirty-second sideshow is meant to prove how Kirk is still keeping a level head, but it’s a bit dulled by this being the exact part where the script tosses out any ambiguity. He is Kodos... and it looks like Murder For The Greater Good runs in the family. * Still, whatever problems I have with the script (which is getting less morally nuanced by the second), Lenore’s actress sells the hell out of her being genuinely delusional enough to think murdering people to cover someone’s tracks is equivalent to being a Soldier In A Cause. ** And I’ll admit: “The play’s over. It’s been over for twenty years.” is an absolute banger of a line. * Welp. ** C’mon, guys, I know you remastered this - couldn’t you have made it look even slightly less like she shot him on purpose? *** Unless... that was the point...? * Even if it was, though, this finale tips things from Unsettling to Just Plain Silly - rambling famous Shakespeare lines does not a compelling breakdown make, guys. ** And on top of that, because Females Are More Innocent, she doesn’t even have to live with what she’s done. * “You really cared for her, didn't you?” “I had about two-and-a-half scenes with her, Bones. What do you think?”

This play’s the thing, all right - it’s not quite as good as Balance of Terror, but it aims just as high, if not higher, and it get more than halfway there. Whatever my problems with the direction or Lenore (who’s a bit of a nonentity before the last act - I couldn’t even buy into her having a fake romance with Kirk), Shatner’s clearly having an absolute ball doing Shakespeare in Space, and Kodos’ actor brings a kind of pained gravitas that even the Romulan Commander never quite hit, almost enough to make you forget he massacred 4,000 innocents and didn’t even have the guts to own up to it until the very last second.

And more important than any of that, this is probably the biggest plank in Kirk’s backstory we’ll ever get: past friends and flames will definitely be walking onto the Enterprise for years to come, but none of them could cast such a haunting lens onto every action he takes from here on out. His Captaincy isn’t just a matter of playing hero or serving the Federation, but because he personally saw what horrors the self-righteous and powerful can wreak - and, so long as there’s a single breath left in him, vows he’ll never see again.

Next: Seven men walk into a planet...

[annathewitch]

Falling, Ch.2: (Let’s Get) Physicals

Summary: Bones x Reader. 2/6, Annual physicals are due and you have to get the crew to attend, including a reluctant Captain.  Bones comes to a realisation.

Word Count: 5000 *eep*

Warnings: Swearing 

A/N: So part 2 ended up being a bit epic and a fic in itself (must practice drabbles…).  It’s also more plotty than part 1. But there’s some Jim, and a little Spock, and Halloween so I needed all those words. 

I still need to work out how to link to part 1… spot the tumblr noob.

“October,” Doctor McCoy announced with a sigh, dropping a couple of padds on the station between you and Christine and perching on the edge, legs stretched out in front of him and arms crossed, “you know what that means?” “Halloween?” you supplied without looking up from your console. McCoy grimaced, “worse than that, guess again.” Your head shot up. “Back up a minute there Doctor! What do you mean, worse than Halloween? Halloween is awesome! Costumes, trick or treating, pumpkins, unreasonably vast quantities of candy! What’s not to like?” Christine chuckled and you shot her a look. “Try all of the above,” McCoy retorted. “Damned pagan nonsense is a recipe for stomachache, cavities and general ridiculousness. Guess again.” You rolled your eyes and shrugged. “I give up.” “Annual physicals!” Christine chipped in, clapping in what you could only assume was mock excitement. “You’re in for a treat Y/F/N.” “You needn’t sound so damn pleased about it Chapel. A month of mind numbingly tedious work and that’s when you can get the damn crew to an appointment. Hell, it almost makes me long for shore leave on a planet full of pregnant Gorns.”

The Doctor turned to you and raised an eyebrow, the faint trace of a smirk gracing his features. “In honour of your first starship assignment, you get the dubious pleasure of making sure every last one of the idiots on this tin can attends an appointment. They’ll try but no one gets to wheedle their way out of it Nurse Y/L/N.” McCoy’s comm buzzed and he excused himself, giving you both a jaunty salute. You stared after him incredulously.

“Close your mouth Y/F/N. you’re catching flies,” Christine said, suppressing a grin.

“What’s got into him? Is this retribution?” you asked, slumping back in your chair.

Since your ‘intervention’ a little over a month ago, McCoy seemed back to his usual self, perhaps even a little less grumpy. He’d smoothed things over with Chapel, which was a relief for everyone, and you had thought your own relationship with him had improved. He seemed more personable and you found he requested your assistance more frequently than before. Even off duty he’d sometimes sit with you in the mess, presumably when the rest of the senior crew were busy. You also occasionally arrived on shift to find a perfectly replicated coffee waiting for you, and Chapel had suggested it was the doctor’s way of acknowledging and apologising for his asshole behaviour.

However, you hadn’t actually talked about the conversation. McCoy had said in passing that Joanna was doing fine, and he shared bits and pieces from her comms, which were more frequent than ever, but neither of you mentioned what had been said that day. Despite the positive effect, you felt a niggling doubt that you had overstepped your position, forcing him to reveal things he wasn’t comfortable with. It was best to let him bring up the subject if he wanted. “No! He needed a good talking to and he knows it.” The head nurse reached out and touched your arm, “It just so happens we both think that you’re the best person to get the job done. You’ve said you wanted more responsibility, now’s your chance.” You considered this for a second and accepting her reassurance, nodded. “Well thanks, I think.” McCoy had silently cursed when his comm had interrupted your conversation. He hadn’t wanted to drop all that work on you and just up and leave, but a summons from Jim couldn’t be ignored. He stalked along the corridor, not realising he was growling in frustration until he startled an ensign coming the other way. He stepped into the express turbolift to the bridge, and leaned back against the handrail. As he absently watched the deck lights flashing by he couldn’t help but think about you. Again. Since that moment in his office a little over four weeks ago, he had developed a new kind of awareness of you. Of course he’d not been oblivious to you before, but it had been for practical reasons: you were a competent nurse, sensible and a decent substitute for Chapel when the need arose.

But now his awareness was harder to define. He was constantly aware of where you were and equally felt your absence. But it was also little things like when you wore your hair differently, or when he knew you hadn’t taken a break. Your voice was more distinctive and he found himself listening for your laughter, and he was sure the familiar antiseptic smell of the medbay was tinged with the smell of your shampoo whenever you had been near. Suddenly these things were important: you mattered to him. Unfortunately he had no indication that the opposite was true. You seemed to be more open with him the more time you spent in his company, but the friendliness and gentle teasing banter you shared with him were not particular to your interactions. It was just the way you seemed to be with everyone. You were capable and independent - he had no sense at all that you needed anything from him. And you certainly had shown no inclination to discuss that conversation. You hardly needed to hear more about what a fuck up he was, his terrible choices were his own burden to bear. So he left it alone. As your CMO he had to be careful not to overstep his bounds and so far he had managed to keep things normal and professional. If he asked for your assistance a little more than he used to, it was simply because you were good at your job and you wanted to learn. And Chapel had supported the idea of you leading on the physicals this year. There was no reason not to spend time with you as colleagues, hell even relax and enjoy your company a little. 

For now, he would just have to learn to ignore the occasional swooping feeling inside when something you did caught him unawares. And stop behaving like a prize idiot. What the hell McCoy, did you actually salute the woman? Smooth. The gentle hum of the turbolift slowed as it came to a stop. McCoy straightened up and tugged on his uniform shirt. Things would be back to normal soon enough. Well as normal as they ever were on this damn ship. In the meantime he could do a fucking good job of pretending. “What the hell kind of mess have you got us into now, Jim?” Over the next weeks, you threw yourself into managing the physicals like a woman possessed. It was repetitive work, but the volume of it filled your days and you didn’t want to prove to Christine and McCoy that their faith had been misplaced. The whole team seemed to eat sleep and breathe examinations, paperwork and follow ups, and you in particular barely seemed to leave the medbay. Cups of coffee kept appearing on your desk with increasing frequency and Chapel seemed always to have brought an extra sandwich back from the mess, ‘just in case’. With only a few days left it had got to the point where there was only a handful of crew members who hadn’t booked an exam, mostly engineering officers and unsurprisingly, the Captain. You had sweet-talked Scotty into letting you track down his reluctant crew members on shift and force march them to an appointment, but Kirk was a different matter, the man was like a spectre, never where he was supposed to be. You knew that he did his damnedest to avoid medbay at all costs, and McCoy was the only person who managed to get him through the door while conscious with a combination of threatening, cajoling and downright deviousness. Chapel had warned you to expect his avoidance and not to take it personally, but you were so close to getting 100% attendance it was frustrating. “Hey, Doctor McCoy?” From behind his never ending stack of padds, McCoy saw a head peer tentatively round his office door. “What is it Y/L/N? I’m trying to finish these records before Chapel hypos my sorry ass.” He yawned and stretched. Starfleet command had grits for brains if they thought the physicals schedule was reasonable. “Sorry, I won’t keep you. It’s just the Captain…” McCoy’s head snapped up before you finished your sentence. “What’s the damned infant done now?” “Nothing, that’s the problem. He’s last on my list for the physicals, but he’s more slippery than an eel.” McCoy chuckled and sat back, “Yeah. Sounds about right for Jim. Welcome to my life! You need me to haul his ass down here just say the word.” “You think I want to give up that easily?” You raised an eyebrow and stuck out your chin stubbornly, and the doctor felt something twist in his gut. Of course you didn’t need his help. “With all due respect you gave me a job to do and I want to have one last try. I just might need to be away from my station for a little while?” McCoy cocked his eyebrow in return. “You do what you’ve got to do. But don’t be too hard on yourself if you can’t pin him down. Catching eels takes practice.” Well if that wasn’t a challenge.

Two hours later, you found yourself waiting in the Captain’s ready room. Lying in wait might be more accurate. Lieutenant Uhura had taken pity on you for your fruitless Kirk-hunt and had persuaded Commander Spock to hear you out. The First Officer had been surprisingly open to supporting your subterfuge. “The Captain’s health is of paramount importance to the efficient functioning of command, Nurse Y/L/N. As you have provided sufficient evidence to support your conclusion that all reasonable avenues to speak to him have failed, it is only logical to consider the unconventional,” Spock had responded. “Indeed, Doctor McCoy has himself had to employ unorthodox tactics on more than one occasion.” So he had gone to retrieve Kirk from the bowels of Engineering on the pretext that the Captain’s attention was required in his ready room. “If I neglect to mention that it is not I that requires his attention, it will not be a lie.” Spock’s mouth had curled an almost imperceptible fraction, and you had the distinct impression he would enjoy this. As you waited you were drawn to stare out of the panoramic floor to ceiling window behind Kirk’s desk. Medbay had no windows, so it was only off duty that you ever saw the stars warping in waves and swirls of light around the ship as it hurtled through the vastness of space. It was still novel enough to astound you. Mesmerised by the feeling of being inside a giant kaleidoscope, you were startled by the sound of the door opening and Captain Kirk’s voice. “What’s so important Spock, that you had to drag me away from my quality time with Mr Scott and the warp core?” He strode into the room. While his focus was fixed on his XO, you could immediately see how he could command the undivided attention of an entire room. There was something compelling in his manner and it made you nervous. Spock wordlessly inclined his head in your direction, and Kirk turned to look at you. You had adopted a stance with legs planted apart and arms crossed, ready for confrontation and hoping it conveyed a confidence that you certainly didn’t feel and more than a hint of displeasure. Kirk stopped in his tracks mouth open, looking between you and Spock. You raised an eyebrow hoping for additional effect and a shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Nurse, you’ve been spending too much time around Bones!” “Captain, with all due respect, you must just incite all medical professionals to eyebrow raising levels of exasperation.” Despite your words, your foot tapped nervously. “I’ve been looking for you, Sir.” Kirk laughed, and made his way over to take a seat in his chair behind the massive desk beside you. He indicated for you to do the same. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure Nurse…” “Y/L/N,” you supplied. “You would have had the pleasure sooner if you hadn’t been avoiding your physical, Sir.” “Straight to the point Y/L/N. I like that!” The Captain leaned in elbows on the desk, resting his chin on his fist. He looked at you intently. “Did Bones send you here to do his dirty work?” “No Sir. This was all my own initiative.” You smiled sweetly and continued, “So when can I book you in?” Refusing to be distracted by his startlingly blue eyes, you picked your padd up and pulled up the medbay schedule. Ignoring you, Kirk continued his own line of questioning. “You persuaded Spock to help you? To get me here under false pretences?” “Captain…” Spock interjected from behind you. “I know, I know, it was probably logical.” Kirk paused for a minute looking thoughtful. “Y/L/N I’m impressed. Listen, I’ll overlook all this,” he waved his hand vaguely, “and get my Yeoman to schedule something next week.” The shit-eating grin returned; you both knew the chances of that happening were slim.

You sighed and got to your feet. “I appreciate you making time in your busy schedule Captain.” He nodded a dismissal. “I’m sure Doctor McCoy won’t mind extending my deadline to accommodate you.” Kirk looked up at you with a frown. “Deadline Y/L/N?” “Yes Sir. End of Beta shift tomorrow is the deadline for all crew physicals. The Doctor put me in charge. Like I said I’m sure it will be fine.” You sighed again for effect. “I just wish I hadn’t taken his bet is all,” you added with a rueful smile. Spock quirked an eyebrow at you from across the room. “What bet?” The Captain asked curiously. “Oh, nothing much Sir. Doctor McCoy bet me that I wouldn’t be able to get every physical completed by the deadline. It’s not important. I mean he’ll be unbearable for days but…” You shook your head and shrugged and made as if to leave the ready room. Three, two, one… “Hold on there Nurse. What are the stakes in this bet?” You turned back slowly, wanting to dangle the lure a little closer, but not wanting to startle the fish. “A bottle of vintage bourbon. It’s silly, really, forget I said anything. Thank you for your time Captain.” You nodded at both of the senior officers and made a hasty but hopefully dignified exit, before scuttling across the bridge and into the turbolift. As soon as the door slid shut you slumped against the wall, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. Your little piece of deception might work or it might not, but bluffing like that had been kind of fun. Returning to the nurses station, you noticed McCoy watching from the other side of the department. He tilted his head at you in an unspoken question and you replied with a shrug.

There was an undeniable atmosphere of excitement tempered by utter exhaustion in Medbay the next day. It was the last day of the marathon that was physicals and in recognition of all the work done over the last few weeks, Christine had agreed that the team could dress up for Halloween if they wanted. McCoy had not disapproved, though he had vetoed the idea of ‘getting dressed up like a prize pig’ himself and that was about as much of an endorsement anyone could reasonably expect. He had arrived early and since there had been no overnight patients, he relieved Doctor M’Benga and the Gamma shift and set about replicating coffee. Checking the chrono he figured you would be arriving soon and so he left a steaming mug at your station and disappeared into his office. The coffee had become his little ritual, that started off as unspoken thanks but had continued beyond the shelf life of his initial gratitude. Truthfully, he had seen your smile whenever the mug was there and, observing your pleasure from afar, he didn’t question his motives too closely. Sure enough, he heard voices moments later - you and Chapel laughing over this ridiculous costume thing. He moved to stand in the doorway of his office, watching you help his Head Nurse, currently dressed as a witch, pin an arrangement of plastic bats into her hair. “So come on Y/F/N, let’s see yours!” “Oh, I totally cobbled it together last night. I didn’t exactly pack for fancy dress,” you laughed and shrugged off your oversize cardigan. You had borrowed a blue dress with a flared skirt from an ensign on your corridor, and adapted one of your uniform aprons to wear over it. Rummaging in a bag, you pulled out a wide blue ribbon and a battered fluffy white rabbit. You proceeded to tie the ribbon around your hair with a big bow and did a twirl. It was damned ridiculous really, but McCoy found himself thinking how blue suited you and before he knew it he’d left the safety of his doorway. “Alice! That’s cute.” Christine smiled.

“Appropriate,” McCoy said drily, making his presence known as he walked over, “most days on this ship I feel like I’ve disappeared down a damn rabbit hole. Nice bats Chapel.” He picked up the rabbit and looked at you with a quirk of his lip. “This yours?” You felt a flush rise. “Yes, he is. Don’t mock the rabbit.” You grabbed your bunny back with a huff. “So if we’re all in wonderland does that make you the Mad Hatter?” “Nope.” The doctor’s quirk grew into a rare full blown grin, dimples and everything. “Darlin’ our esteemed Captain has that role locked down. We’re all guests at his mad tea party.” “I’ll tell him you said so if he turns up today. Right, to work.” You sat down purposefully at your station, picking up the coffee waiting for you. Glancing up at McCoy you smiled knowingly, and he felt his stomach flip flop. Dammit. The day passed quickly, but approaching the end of Beta shift, there had been no sign of the Captain. You were just about ready to go and admit defeat to the doctor, when the doors to medbay swooshed open and in walked the man himself, apparently injury free and powered entirely under his own steam, closely followed by Spock. Sighting you at the autoclave, he made his way over, smirking. “Reporting for physical as ordered Ma’am!” You stared mutely, absolutely tempted to prod the man to make sure he wasn’t a figment of your imagination. The Captain winked, “I would have come earlier, but it’s more fun to snatch victory away from Bones in the final moments, don’t you think?” You nodded, making an odd sort of strangled sound. “Where do you want me?” Kirk asked waggling his eyebrows. “Um… take a seat in exam one and I’ll be right back.” You watched him saunter across medbay, and hustled over to Spock who was waiting with Nurse Chapel. “I can’t believe that actually worked.” You shook your head in disbelief. “I admit surprise that your… gambit resulted in success. I accompanied the Captain to see for myself that he reached his intended destination. You have indeed understood the motivations of the Captain where many have failed, myself included. I would posit that you are quite formidable when you wish to be Nurse Y/L/N.” Spock regarded you up and down. “You are dressed as Alice are you not?” You had forgotten that you were in costume. “Yes, Sir, for Halloween,” you nodded, slightly embarrassed. “I confess I do not understand the human custom for disguise, but I admit I have fond memories of my mother reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland to my sister and me as children.” He nodded crisply and left. Christine, unfazed as ever by the turn of events, nudged you out of your slightly bewildered stupor. “You’d best get the doctor, you should assist him with this one.” As if summoned, McCoy appeared behind you. “What did our Vulcan friend want?” “I’m not sure, but I think he liked my costume.” McCoy frowned in confusion. “And the Captain is in exam one, Sir. For his physical,” you added. With this additional surprising information, the doctor didn’t seem to know what to do with his face, and his eyebrows did a strange dance up and down his forehead. “You’re kidding me.” He looked to Christine for confirmation.

“Nope, she’s not.” The doctor spun on his heels and rolling your eyes at Christine you followed him into the Exam room. You nearly collided with his back as he stopped short, arms crossed, in front of Captain Kirk who was lying nonchalantly on the biobed, hands behind his head as if he was simply preparing to take a nap. “Bones!” he exclaimed sitting up. “Happy Halloween! I see Nurse Y/L/N here is a very fetching Alice,” he winked again, “and you, in that get-up you must be a hypo-wielding demon doctor, no?” “Unbelievable.” McCoy looked between you and the Captain, then seemed to recover from his shock and rolled his sleeves up. “You could have made a damned appointment like everyone else Jim. Let’s get this over with,” he grumbled. “You need my shirt on or off Nurse?” Kirk asked, blue eyes wide and innocent. McCoy snorted but before he could intervene you swatted your padd at the Captain. “Don’t you pretend this is your first physical, Sir. You know damn well you keep your clothes on. All of them.” He laughed, hands up in surrender. The rest of the exam was remarkably easy. McCoy couldn’t help sneaking a glance in your direction every so often, wondering, not for the first time, how you had achieved the impossible. As you were winding up, preparing a booster vaccine, Kirk turned to McCoy. “So Bones, don’t forget you owe Y/L/N that bottle of whiskey.” You fumbled the hypo, dropping it on the floor. McCoy looked at you curiously and you shook your head almost imperceptibly behind Kirk’s back. “Uh, just gotta get a new one of these,” you waved the hypo and disappeared out the door. “So,” Kirk looked speculatively after you with a grin, “she’s something else. No wonder the crew are knocking down the door for their physicals this year. I’m glad I finally had the pleasure of meeting the infamous Nurse Y/L/N. You know she doorstepped me in my own ready room doing a perfect impression of you. I like a woman with… I don’t know…” “Sass.” McCoy replied, “the word you are looking for is sass. And don’t even think about it Jim, my nurses are out of bounds.” He waved his tricorder warningly, ignoring the tight feeling in his chest as he realised the Captain, his friend, liked you. Few were resistant to his charms when he put his mind to it. “She’s more than sass and a pretty face, Jim. She’s smart and hard working and kind, and definitely too good for you so quit your flirting.” He punctuated each word with a jab of the scanner. Kirk looked innocently at McCoy. “I never said anything about a pretty face Bones.” As you came back in with the new hypo, something was off. The Captain was positively gleeful, and McCoy looked flustered. He told you to finish up and left the room as if someone had lit a fire under him. You administered the vaccine and rubbed the spot in Kirk’s neck to ease the sting. “That wasn’t so bad Captain, now was it?” “No. You’re better at it than Bones. I believe his bedside manner has been described by some as ‘questionable’.” You narrowed your eyes wondering just how much the Captain had been told about the conversation with McCoy. He smiled more genuinely at you than he had before. “I’m glad Bones has someone to keep him on his toes.” You laughed, “Chapel and I do our best. Between you and me I think she actually runs this place.” Kirk looked at you head on one side considering you carefully. After a moment he seemed to decide something, and he hopped off the bed and clapped you on the shoulder. “Keep up the good work Y/L/N.”

As the door closed behind him you breathed in deeply, then did a little victory dance round the bed. You didn’t notice the swoosh of the door opening again and it wasn’t until you did an undignified twirl with a final fist pump that you noticed McCoy was there shaking his head. “I am definitely down a rabbit hole.” He stepped in the room and leaned against the wall, arms folded. “You want to tell me how you managed that?” The doctor seemed to have regained his earlier composure, seemingly at the expense of your own. Your face was impossibly warm. “I don’t suppose you’d believe it was simple persistence?” you offered with a shrug, fiddling with your apron. “Nope.” He shook his head with a small smile. “I don’t doubt your stubbornness, but I’ve spent too long perfecting the art of Kirk-trapping to believe that.” You sighed and hopped up onto the biobed avoiding McCoy’s steady hazel gaze. Something about it made you at once unsettled and unable to lie. You’d seen him use it on patients to great effect, but only now realised it’s power. He waited. “Can’t a girl have any secrets?” you grumbled. “Ok, so Commander Spock helped me get to see the Captain and then I may have given him the impression that by turning up for his physical today he would help me win a bet with you,” you admitted, the words coming out in a rush. “Sorry Sir.” “You lied to the Captain and Spock helped you?” McCoy stared, his mouth open. “When you put it like that… well… yeah.” It sounded bad out loud. You had been too busy focussed on the end goal that you hadn’t thought much about the method. You hung your head. “And what exactly was the bet I’m supposed to have made?” “That I couldn’t get all the physicals finished by today. We bet a bottle of bourbon.” Your voice was small. “It seems like you and the Captain are always arguing about something, he seems like he enjoys getting one up on you…” you tailed off. “So let me get this straight,” he ran his hands through his hair and you looked away. “He thinks I lost a bet because of him? You used the Captain’s own competitive streak against him?” Before you could answer you were startled by a strange huffing noise coming from McCoy, which appeared to be the prelude to him throwing his head back and honest to god whooping with laughter. Too amazed to do anything, you just sat there waiting for the doctor to subside. Eventually he regained some control, and grinned at you. “Y/F/N, you are a goddamned evil genius.” McCoy shook his head. You smiled back in relief. “You know I think Commander Spock was trying to tell me something similar earlier. Chapel’s trained me well.” You winked and McCoy felt his stomach leap into his chest again. As you sat in silence he realised the sheer absurd perfection of the moment. Needing to say something before the silence got awkward he inclined his head towards the monitor behind you. “Your vitals are a little off. Do you have a headache?” You realised the biobed you were sitting on had picked up your readings. Always the doctor. You nodded. “I’ll give you a painkiller, but you need to take it easy, and get a proper meal.” He rummaged in the med cabinet. “Thanks Doctor.” You grinned mischievously. “Don’t say anything, but my commanding officer is a hardass, I’ve been working all the hours god sends lately. Crawling through Jeffries tubes after engineers just to keep him happy.” McCoy raised an eyebrow as he tilted your head to one side to expose your neck, trying to ignore how distractingly close you were and the smell of your hair as it moved. He administered the hypo gently, and rubbed the injection site. “Idiot,” he huffed. “I’ll tell your boss to give you the day off tomorrow.”

Chapel had looked at you curiously as you emerged from the exam room, but you had just mouthed ‘tell you later.’ God only knew what she thought had gone on in there. You took the doctor’s advice and went to get food from the mess. Though your shift had ended, when you were done you decided to go back to medbay and finish off the last logs for the physicals. You liked it at this time of night. It was quiet; Chapel had gone and only a skeleton staff for Gamma shift remained. M’Benga would have relieved McCoy by now. Though the lights had been dimmed for the two patients in overnight, you could see from across the room that something had been left on your workstation. As you approached, there, next to your battered old stuffed rabbit, was a bottle of bourbon. You unfolded the note attached to it and smiled. In unmistakable handwriting it simply said,‘Drink Me’. The lights were still on in the CMO’s office. You made an impulsive decision and grabbed the bottle, and a couple of clean mugs from the sink, and knocked on the door. “Enter!” You hit the release and stepped inside. McCoy sat on the couch along one wall, padd in one hand, handwritten papers discarded beside him. He always looked more approachable at the end of the day, when he was slightly rumpled. He looked up, brow furrowed. “Y/F/N, I thought you left?” “I had a couple of things to finish up.” You held the bottle up. “What’s this?” McCoy hoped that in the dim light you couldn’t see the faint flush across his cheeks. He answered gruffly, “Your winnings. A southern gentleman never welches on a bet. Even one he didn’t know he made.” “I don’t deserve it but thanks.” You shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Listen, my hardass boss gave me the day off tomorrow and I can’t drink this alone.” You waved the mugs in your other hand. “It’s not exactly classy, but have a drink with me?” You bit your lip waiting for a response. While things had changed between you and McCoy recently, he was your commanding officer and you still weren’t sure if he considered you as a friend as well as a colleague. There were probably a million reasons why it was good idea to refuse, but right now looking at your hopeful face the doctor couldn’t think of a single one. “Why not.” Pouring a couple of fingers into each mug, you smiled a little when you realised one was Stick McCoy. You handed it to the doctor and moved to sit on the other end of the couch, fussing with your skirt to be able to sit cross legged. “To the end of physicals!” You raised your drink. “And to evil genius nurses.” McCoy clinked with you and you both took a sip. He watched as you groaned in pleasure, closing your eyes and tipping your head back as the whiskey burned your throat, still wearing that damned ridiculous bow.  His eyes traced the curve of your neck.  Oh hell. There, underscored by the gentle familiar hums and beeps of medbay, McCoy finally admitted to himself that you mattered to him too much for things to ever go back to normal.

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely feedback on chapter 1! Hope its ok to tag a couple of people, I won’t be offended if you want to be removed!

@dirajunara @spookyscaryscully

[janeykath318]

Wrong Number 2

Three stress filled weeks later, Leah found herself texting the number she’d inadvertently dialed in hopes of lawyer recommendations. Jack wasn’t going to make this easy at all and she knew she’d need a good one. Hopefully, the kind stranger knew what he was talking about.

Hi, this is the crazy Wrong Number Lady from a few weeks ago. Wondering if you could provide the contact info for a good lawyer or two. Thanks!

Dr. Leah McCoy.

After her shift at the hospital was over, she saw he’d replied and rushed home to read it.

I hope this is helpful! The text said. Feel free to contact me again if you have more questions.

Underneath was a phone number and an address for Enterprise Law Firm. Leah’s eyes lit up as she recognized the name. Her boss had mentioned them a time or two, Being a client himself. That sealed it. She’d head over there and get herself lawyered up. She wasn’t just going to roll over and let Jack get the better of her!

So she made an appointment for a consultation and gathering up the papers important to the case, she made her way to the 10th floor of the high rise building that contained numerous businesses and firms.

Upon entering the reception area, she was greeted by a friendly receptionist who informed her someone would be with her shortly. In the meantime, Leah roamed the small waiting room, inspecting the various framed news clippings that celebrated precious courtroom successes and awards. Just beyond the sofa there was another frame that contained professional shots of all the members of the firm. Fascinated, Leah scanned them with interest.

“Nyota Uhura,” she read. “Looks tough and no nonsense. Wrong field though. Spock. Vulcans are darned good lawyers, but completely insufferable. Hikaru Sulu. Again, different field. Sharp suit, though. Montgomery Scott. Looks like someone you’d have a beer with. I bet I’d like him. James Tiberius Kirk. He looks like the cocky, annoying, pretty boy type. Christopher Pike. Well, there’s a man’s man if I’ve ever seen one! Talk about distinguished! Looks trustworthy, too. I don’t know how, but there’s something about the eyes….”

“Oh, he’s trustworthy alright. Take it from someone who knows.”

Leah stifled a yelp Of surprise and whirled around to meet the man who matched the picture of James T. Kirk, attorney at law.

“Goodness gracious! Warn a body before you sneak up like that! You scared the bones out of me!”

“My apologies,” the young man offered, along with his hand. “Are you Dr. McCoy?”

“Yes, I am,” she said, shaking the proffered hand. “And sorely in need of advice. I assume you’re James T. Kirk?”

“I am, and at your service. If you’ll come back to the office, we can talk over your situation and help you out. I may look like a “cocky pretty boy”, but trust me, there’s more there than meets the eye.”

Leah turned beet red, realizing that he’d heard her running commentary, but James obviously considered it hilarious and wasn’t taking offense, judging by the grin on his face, so she tried to relax and meekly followed him to a very plush office decorated in a calming array of blues and greys.

“Have a seat, Doctor,” Kirk said. “Now, what legal dilemma are you facing?”

“A loser soon to be ex husband who thinks he shouldn’t have to pay child support and is doing his best to claim the baby isn’t even his, Despite the fact he was the one who cheated on ME!”

This came out rather forcefully and Leah slumped back in her chair and leaned her forehead on her palm.

“Sorry, Mr. Kirk. I’m all wound up right now.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Dr. McCoy, you’re going through a lot of stress right now. Please, call me Jim. Do you have the papers he served you with?”

“Yeah,” she wrinkled her nose with distaste just touching the sheets as she handed it across the desk to Jim. The young man scanned them thoroughly, frowning occasionally. Then he sat back and steepled his fingers together, looking back at Leah soberly.

“Now, he doesn’t have much Of a case, here. Any sane judge would see that. But having Komack for a lawyer is going to make things complicated for you. He’s an extremely clever lawyer, but he could make things very difficult with his…...manipulations.”

“Oh, dear,” Leah sighed. “That’s what I was afraid of. Surely you’re better than he is, though, right?”

“Yes, but my esteemed colleague has much more experience facing this particular guy. Would you mind if I picked his brain about this?”

“Not at all,” Leah shrugged. “The more the merrier.”

Jim picked up his phone and quickly typed a text. Minutes later, as he was listening to more of her tale of woe, there was a knock on the door and Jim perked up.

“That would be Chris,” He said. “The senior member of this firm and the best dang lawyer in the city.”

That sounded promising. Sure enough, through the door Came the older man Leah had admired in the picture. He looked even more dapper in person, wearing a nice grey suit that matched his hair and emphasized the piercing light blue eyes.

“Dr. McCoy, I presume?” He asked in a voice that made Leah start. It reminded her of something, she wasn’t sure what.

“That’s me!” She confirmed.

“I hear you’re in a bit of a pickle,” he said conversationally.

“You could say that.” She answered, buying back a sarcastic reply. No need to get smart with the man, he was just being friendly.

As Pike (so he proved to be) and Kirk explained the process and their plan for thwarting Jack’s bid to be deadbeat, she couldn’t help but admire how smart and well they worked together. Leah felt like they’d go above and beyond to see her make it through this in one piece. What was it with Pike’s voice that sounded familiar? She wracked her brain, but came up short, finally giving up and returning her attention to the two men.

“So,” She said at last. “How much of my shriveled soul do I need to mortgage in order to hire you?”

“Why Doc, surely you haven’t bought into the bloodsucking parasite stereotype, have you?” Asked Kirk, feigning disappointment.

“If you’d met some of the ambulance chasers we encounter at the hospital you’d understand,” she explained.

Jim made a face.

“We’re high class here, aren’t we Chris?”

“Most of the time,” the grey haired man said. Leah sensed there was a good sense of humor hidden behind all that dignity and legal jargon and thought Pike would definitely not fit in the ambulance chaser category—ever.

“I assure you, Doctor McCoy, we will not require your firstborn child,” he teased dryly.

“That’s good,” Leah replied with a chuckle, “because she’s the reason I showed up here: That and some stranger on the phone.”

She didn’t understand at first why Jim suddenly grinned widely. Pike cleared his throat and looked like a lightbulb had just gone on and then it hit her: he was the one she’d misdialed and made an idiot of herself to. That was why the voice sounded familiar.

“Oh, no….” she whispered. “Please tell me you’re not the one I cussed out over the phone?”

“I’m afraid so,” Pike confirmed.

Leah squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for the sweet, sweet release of instantaneous death.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

This is so true! Just jumping on, I think this fear combines with another of Jim's deep fears: lack of control.

I don't mean control in the Vulcan sense of self-restraint, but rather in the command sense of being able to influence his situation. Feeling like what he decides to do matters, that his actions have an impact, etc.. Jim makes such a good captain because he has an innate leadership ability, and that forms a large part of how he defines himself, but when that leadership is restricted or ineffective, Jim spirals quickly. His ability to control his situation is what enables him to handle stress.

We can see this play out several times throughout the series whenever his command is threatened. When a computer seems to be proving superior to his command, making his job obsolete, he quickly begins to doubt himself and desperately seeks out Bones for reassurance--then, when the computer bests him again, he retreats to his room and is cynically despondent, starving himself (remember this for later!) until Bones helps him out of it. In The Deadly Years, when his advanced age dims his command faculties and he is relieved of duty, Jim lashes out at Spock in near tears, and frantically tries to reverse the situation through sheer stubbornness. Even in the quote above, when Jim is breaking down, his fear of being alone is juxtaposed with his loss of command.

Ultimately, the two fears grow out of each other--and in a way, they are almost the same--because both stem from Jim's past trauma on Tarsus IV. During that period, Jim was helpless and isolated. He was vulnerable, with no power and no certain way to protect himself, and the world was dog-eat-dog at that point. He couldn't count on anyone else to help him or be there for him. He was alone. He had no control.

Jim is also the kind of person who doesn't like to sit down and work through his trauma (no shade but he much prefers to repress and ignore it) so when he is triggered, I doubt he recognizes fully where it comes from, but he does have very distinct triggers and doesn't cope well. Any time he is forced out of command, he panics. He also isolates himself ("coping" by actually harming himself more, since being alone was part of his original trauma and is still a fear of his). And as we noted, he also denies himself food when at his lowest point. Hmmmmm! (It's an additional note that food is a comfort for Jim, and part of his struggle with weight stems from the very natural fact that having dealt with food shortage/scarcity trauma, he eats heartily since food is available.)

And this isn't to say that having his command challenged is a trigger or is even bad for him--when it comes from someone Jim trusts, although he may be somewhat defensive, he eventually sees the merit in having people to keep him accountable. When it's a superior who tells him, "No," Jim's response is (literally), "So I am therefore going anyway." He's perfectly capable of asserting himself--the issue is when he can't even say no.

The nightmare scenario for Jim is when everything he does is ineffective and no one is there to help him fix it. Usually, this manifests in an individual way, but we can also see it as regards his crew, and most obviously, Spock. While Jim isn't quite alone, he very much feels it as he has to watch Spock die in front of him. The only reason he pulls through is because of the support of his crew, especially Bones, but Jim is (understandably) completely devastated by Spock's death, and it happened in the absolute worst way, because Jim couldn't do anything to stop it. He couldn't even try.

And that's why it's so important that when Jim says, "I thought I was going to die," it's Spock who tells him, "Not possible.

...You were never alone."

KIRK: Most people are afraid of being alone. (The Mark of Gideon)

I already had a post about this but it was all over the place with various reblogs, so one more time.

MCCOY: He’s dead, Captain. NOEL: The machine wasn’t on high enough to kill. KIRK: But he was alone. Can you imagine the mind emptied by that thing? Without even a tormentor for company.

MCCOY: It’s hard to believe that a man could die of loneliness. KIRK: Not when you’ve sat in that room.  (Dagger of the Mind)

Kirk is afraid of being alone. That is one of his biggest fears - to lose command and to be left alone.

KIRK: I’m losing command. I’m losing the Enterprise. The ship is sailing on and on. I’m alone. Alone. Alone. I’m losing command. (And the Children Shall Lead)

And while The Tholian Web didn’t address it explicitly, I feel like one can imagine that

KIRK: I had a whole universe to myself after the Defiant was thrown out. There was absolutely no one else in it. (The Tholian Web)

wasn’t really a pleasant experience. But he knew that his crew was out there, that Spock and McCoy were out there, and he didn’t lose hope.

KIRK: It isn’t that, Bones. I knew I wouldn’t die because the two of you were with me. SPOCK: I do not understand. KIRK: I’ve always known …I’ll die alone. (The Final Frontier)

And in the end, he did. 

However, when you stop at The Final Frontier, it’s a great continuation of the theme because ultimately Kirk was never alone.

(Once again, I’m a bit amazed how The Final Frontier plays into Kirk’s insecurities showed in the show and ‘solves’ them. I like that film okay. Don’t judge me.) 

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 14: 2x15 The Trouble with Tribbles

Back to watching TOS on Wednesdays! We’ll see if I can keep this up because I do prefer it to Fridays.

Today’s episode: the Classic (tm) Trouble with Tribbles.

Starting out with a little test for Chekov lol. Just Chekov, his mentor, and his mentor-in-law.

My mom called Chekov “Kirk and Spock’s little project,” which I think is hilarious but also probably true. Only 22 years old and on the bridge crew? Private quiz by the top two people on the ship? Legit interpretation.

“It was just a little joke.” / “Extremely little, Ensign.” Classic Spock burn.

The Organian Peace Treaty--from Errand of Mercy??

I really do feel like Kirk is genuinely amused by Chekov.

You would never guess from this intro about tense diplomatic situations and number-one-top-priority-triple-red-alerts that this was going to be a crack-y episode about space bunnies.

Oh no, a fake red alert! Kirk is really angry now.

Kirk and Spock are very Married today.

STORAGE COMPARTMENTS?? StOrAgE cOmPaRtmEnTs?

WHEAT??

Do not try to imply that Spock doesn’t know things; he is contractually obligated to show off.

Canadian wheat.

Honestly, just let Kirk call it wheat.

Spock is using diplomacy to reign Kirk in. Sarek would be proud. And Spock would be insulted that Sarek is proud.

Kirk is very Sassy today.

Omg the waitresses have little wings.

Spock taking the wheat from behind his back and giving it to Kirk like a magician’s assistant.

I feel like Kirk is bitter about the wheat because it’s the one (1) thing he’s not a nerd about. And he’s from Iowa too!! He should know!

Uhura listening to the salesman; well she IS here to shop, after all.

Is it alive? Is it cute? Oh who am I kidding, I can see it’s cute!

Oh no the tribble is eating the grain.

Uhura is truly adorable.

I can’t believe she just made a joke about never getting any shore leave and here she is, back at her station again.

Can you even imagine AOS Kirk being tasked with protecting a bunch of grain? HE would make Iowa jokes.

And Spock is trying so hard not to laugh.

Tbh I have a real soft spot for these frustrated Kirk episodes. Poor, long-suffering Kirk. So much more serious than all of the nonsense going on around him.

I like this space station design.

Klingons on shore leave. They just want to have some fun. No bowling alleys on their ships!

Technical journal time for Scotty!

“I am immune to their effect....” Sure. What’s funny to me is that Kirk actually is immune to their effect. Truly at no point does he seem charmed or amused by or even interested in the tribbles, except in their capacity as Klingon detectors at the end

“I think they’re old enough [to be adopted].” Lol how can you tell?

One look from Spock reigns Kirk in. #spacehusbands

Oh, you noticed there are 11 tribbles instead of 1? How astute.

“What do you get when you feed a tribble too much?” / “A fat tribble.” This is ACTUAL DIALOGUE. Oh, Kirk.

Honestly McCoy is a medical doctor, so it kind of would make more sense for Spock to be doing these tribble experiments but he has his hands full with Kirk

Kirk is awfully insistent upon Scotty taking shore leave when he should very well remember what happened last time

“You’d think he’d be a vodka man.” And he is!

Klingons don’t understand Kirk at all. He IS a little soft <3

Where’s that post that’s like ‘the AOS writers just listened to this one Klingon speech about Kirk and wrote his character based on that?” I mean... not totally inaccurate.

Actually it is a potentially interesting speech. Is this really how his enemies see him based on his reputation? Or is it just, like, a bunch of generic insults you could apply to pretty much any captain of a group you didn’t like?

Poor Kirk, missing out on this fight scene.

Lol the drink joke. Does it make sense? No, but it’s funny all the same.

“Captain’s log: I am forced to cancel shore leave.”

Angry Daddy!Kirk and his unhelpful children. You’re ALL grounded!!

“No this is not off the record!” Not even gonna debate that Scotty.

This whole Kirk and Scotty scene deserves an Emmy.

Spones + Tribbles

The extra hilarious thing about Spock talking about the uselessness of the tribbles and Bones defending their cuteness as being an end in and of itself is that Spock DOES canonically like soft, pleasing animals. Even in this episode!!

The tribble wants to be captain.

Kirk collecting tribbles lmao.

“Don’t look at me, it’s the tribbles that are breeding.”

The tribbles are bisexual. Just like Captain Kirk. (Yes this is two different uses of the term that mean totally different things and I do NOT care I just like hearing the word “bisexual” in DeForest Kelley’s voice.)

I feel like Uhura must be so lonely.. Trying to talk to Spock about the moon. Meeting shape shifting aliens who become native Swahili speakers just for her. Trying to buy love in the form of small, cute animals.

The tribbles have been taken from their predator-filled environment. I am VERY curious about their native environment now. What eats tribbles?

“It’s you I take lightly.” Honestly this level of sass almost makes AOS Kirk seem IC.

“Licensed asteroid locator and prospector.” Brb changing careers.

“But he is after my grain!”

Kirk saying “au revoir” is funny on its face for how he echoes Cyrano what’s-his-face but also because it reminds me of Shatner saying “I’m from Canada, so I speak French.”

No, the tribbles got in his food! That is the last straw.

It’s hard to tell because it’s covered in tribbles, but Spock appears to have a very odd looking salad. (Or that large piece of fruit is a tribble, really hard to tell.)

Spock’s “fascinating” was so quiet.

“They’re into the machinery all right.” First, lol, and second, isn’t Scotty supposed to be in his room thinking about what he’s done?

You can really see that missing finger.

Gonna beam down some tribbles too.

And now to top off this bad day: the indignity of having a bunch of dead tribbles fall on his head. To wacky music.

“Gorged? On my grain?” It’s more likely than you think.

And like........you realize someone off set is just continuing to throw little puff balls at Shatner's head at regular intervals during this whole scene? One just bounced right off it.

And the answer to the tribble problem is literally “stop feeding them” which is so obvious that I assumed it was just harder than one would think not to feed a tribble. Since no one fed them. And they continued to eat.

I also love how Bones comes into his best friend literally buried in tribbles and doesn’t even blink.

Whereas Spock’s here with his mouth this thinnest possible line, trying not to laugh.

They like Vulcans! They have good taste.

Spock is definitely that type that has secret low self esteem so he builds himself up with confident comments at every opportunity.

“He’s a Klingon, Jim.”

Kirk REALLY likes threatening the Klingons with tribbles.

I feel like leaving Cyrano to single-handedly clean up the tribbles over 17 years is not a punishment that makes sense because like... must the station live with the tribbles until then? Also, where is he to put them?

I think they should be returned to their native habitat to be eaten by predators according to the natural cycle of life.

Are we to understand that SPOCK suggested beaming the tribbles on to the Klingon ship? Perhaps I have underestimated his prank war abilities.

I’ll be honest, this ep is very entertaining and for that reason one of my favorites, but I don’t know that it paints the Enterprise, and Kirk in particular, in the best light.

Like... I am really torn on Kirk’s treatment of the undersecretary. I know he often doesn’t much like administrators and diplomats and other people who don’t seem to have much RL experience, and certainly this Federation official got on his bad side immediately and understandably by misusing the red alert.

But... Kirk isn’t at all subtle about not liking him. I mean he literally says “I don’t like you” and that’s just objectively unprofessional, which he is not. The sassiness was way unsubtle, which could be funny, but it just didn’t seem IC.

I can almost justify it because of the red alert mix up--that’s everything Kirk hates: violating regulations, showing disrespect to him and his crew, uncalled for manipulation--and I think he has the right to be upset about it. But he continues holding this grudge for a long time. It feels like it’s just as much about not personally caring about the grain as about anything else. Like he’s dismissive about the grain because he personally has never heard of it. So obviously it’s not important.

That’s too much that conventional-wisdom arrogant, dumb Kirk for me.

I guess I just don’t understand, why so much hatred for the undersecretary? Because his two biggest sins were the red alert and employing a Klingon. But as I already said, I think Kirk’s ire is disproportionate to the first offense and no one knew about the Klingon until the end--because a tribble, not Kirk specifically, found him out.

Otherwise..this guy was right! The grain was important, losing it or having it sabotaged would have very bad consequences for the Federation, it is Kirk’s job to guard it, and he should do it well. He was also right that the Klingon threat was real!! He’d brought in the Klingon threat but he was still right about it existing. The Klingons did in fact sabotage the grain! And although we hear at the end that there was magically more grain out there... I don’t get how or from where.

Furthermore, he used the red alert specifically because he seemed to think Kirk wouldn’t rush over to protect the grain otherwise, and Kirk is so dismissive of this “just wheat” that he kinda proves the guy right!

Anyway, I can see the grains of this Kirk (lol pun not intended) in his general characterization, but it’s too over the top, to the point where it’s OOC. He does take his job, including the diplomatic aspects of it, very seriously, and I think an IC Kirk would protect the grain, and maybe be only occasionally, subtly sassy to the undersecretary.

But this was such a crack-y episode overall... it was like everyone was turned up to 11 and pushed slightly to the side.

It was a fun ep though with a lot of very classic scenes, and it’s another reminder that Spock likes soft, adorable animals.

I will admit that I actually do not think the tribbles are particularly cute. They kind of weird me out. They’re just lumps of fur.

Next is The Gamesters of Triskelion, which I vaguely remember as a decent but not great episode.

[enterprisetrampstamp]

the best worst plan

an 7.7k spones fanfic. also on ao3

Len bounces on his toes, studying the back of Spock's bowlcut with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

Despite said galaxy class glare, he is being rather pointedly ignored; Spock continues to perform his duties with his typical Vulcan stoicism. He reaches over, long fingers pressing a series of buttons, and Len huffs in exasperation before he can stop himself.

He's getting a bit bored despite his determination to out wait the Vulcan; behind him, Uhura stifles a giggle.

Jim clears his throat, finally tired of the standoff happening at the science station, and spins his command chair to face them. "Good afternoon, Bones."

"The concept of 'afternoon' is meaningless in the void of space, Jim," Len retorts. (It's Sulu who turns a snicker into a cough this time.)

Jim doesn't laugh, but his smile is audible as he tries again. "Is there something you wanted, Bones?"

"Not from you, Jim."

"Something to report then?"

"Four members of the away team reported to sickbay for their required post-mission physicals."

Jim finally cottons on. "But Bones," he says, faux innocently, "weren't there five members of the away team?"

"Mm, well you see, Jim, the fifth member of the away team seems to feel that the very pressing matter of—" Len clasps his hands behind his back and takes a long step closer to Spock, leaning in to peer over his shoulder at the console—"geological survey data is more important than his health." He turns his head, nose less than an inch from Spock's cheek, and asks lightly, "Tell me, Mr. Spock—according to regulations, for what reasons can an officer miss their post-mission physical?"

Spock breathes out deeply but silently. It's not quite a sigh, but Len feels a smug flare of satisfaction anyway. "Such physicals are only required for away missions longer than twenty-four hours, Doctor."

"Or if the CMO decides it's necessary," Len answers tartly, straightening but not stepping back. "And given the reports received during the away team's stay on the surface- those regarding shortness of breath and dizziness- I have deemed it prudent."

Spock finally straightens away from his station, turning on his heel and entering parade rest as he looks down at Len. There's less than two inches between their chests, which makes it difficult for Len to meet his eye. (He does anyway, stubborn to a fault.) Spock sounds ever so vaguely irritated as he begins, "I informed your nurse—"

"Christine's nurse passed along your message." Len refuses to be cowed, prodding Spock in the chest with one finger. Spock glances down, eyebrow raised and appearing utterly unimpressed by the gesture. Yeah, well, Len is unimpressed by his eyebrow. "But according to the rest of the away team, you were the worst affected by the atmosphere."

"I assure you, Doctor, that I am perfectly hale."

"I assure you, Mr. Spock, that I don't believe you."

"I have told you before that Vulcans do not lie."

"And if I ever told you I believed that, I'm as big a liar as you are!"

"Doctor," Spock snaps.

"Pike," Len snarls back, and Spock, after a moment's hesitation, tilts his head in acquiescence. Satisfied, Len smoothes out the wrinkle his prodding finger has left in Spock's uniform shirt and takes a step back to a more reasonable conversational distance. "The geology will keep, I assume?"

"If you will allow me a moment to log my work, I will accompany you to sickbay," Spock confirms.

Len bounces on his toes, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips, and winks at Uhura as he turns to take his more customary place at Jim's elbow. He ought to be above a little gloating, but then again, what fun would that be? "Didn't mean to turn your shift into dinner theatre, Captain," he says smugly. "I did try to comm him first."

"I've long since resigned myself to the occasional showdown between my first and my CMO," Jim tells him, shooting an amused glance at Spock's back. "Anyway, it's good to see you come out on top once in a while, Bones," he adds with a smirk, and Len splutters indignantly as Sulu and Chekov laugh.

"You—!" He jabs a finger at Jim but isn't sure how to finish the sentence. He settles for a hearty harrumph and spins on his heel, nearly knocking into Spock as he does. With a grunt of surprise, he grabs at Spock's arms to steady himself.

For a moment they're just standing there in close proximity. Spock's hands hover near Len's sides, having come up instinctively to try and catch him before Len had steadied himself, and for a moment he can almost imagine—

Len blinks, snatching back his hands, and asks slightly gruffly, "Ready to go, then?"

"Yes, Doctor." Spock lowers his own hands and clasps them behind his back, expression unreadable.

Not that that's unusual.

Len hurries to move around him, leading the way to the turbolift with a determined stride. The look Uhura gives him is pure Nyota—a little sly and a little mischievous, one corner of her lips ticked up with amusement. "Give me that look when you've finally asked out Christine," he mutters.

Uhura rolls her eyes at him. "You're a grouch," she whispers teasingly, brushing her fingers over his sleeve as he passes.

"Oh, I am, am I?" Len grumbles, catching her hand and squeezing it briefly. "Maybe if y’all knew how to behave, I wouldn't have to be. You know—"

"Doctor," Spock interrupts, voice emotionless and yet somehow radiating amusement, and catches Len's elbow with a firm grip. "I would like to return to my station sometime this shift."

"Yeah, sure; you refuse to report to sickbay in flagrant disregard for orders, then ignore my comms ‘n’ my very presence on the bridge for nearly half an hour, and I'm the one holdin’ up the works!" Len lets Spock usher him into the turbolift, eyes raised toward the ceiling as if 'heavenward' was a meaningful direction in space. "Next time, Mr. Spock, I'm meetin’ you in the damn transporter room myself, and I'll drag you to sickbay by one pointy green ear if I have to!"

The turbolift doors snick shut on the sound of Jim's hearty laughter, leaving them abruptly in silence. After a moment, Spock releases his grip on Len in favor of reaching for the controls. "Computer, medbay," he requests.

Len rubs at his elbow as they glide gently into motion. "Which one of us does win more often?" he asks abruptly. Spock half-turns towards him, raising an eyebrow, and Len clarifies, "Our arguments, Spock; Jim said it was nice to see me win one ‘for once’."

Spock clasps his hands behind his back and considers the question, dark eyes focused on some middle distance. "In this instance, how would you define 'winning', Doctor?"

"I suppose…" Len bounces on his toes thoughtfully. "Which of us gets their way most often?"

Spock's eyes meets Leonard's, a smile hidden somewhere in the lines around them as he replies simply, "Captain Kirk."

Jim and Spock's chess game is proving to be the perfect atmosphere for catching up on the latest research published courtesy of Starfleet Medical Journal. They’ve been at it for hours now, and the soft murmur of their conversation- typically philosophy, most typically metaphysics- and the clicking of glass on glass are enough to keep Len from getting restless without being distracting.

He’s perched on the edge of the couch with his elbows braced on his knees, the coffee table taken up by two PADDs; one set up for reading and another for taking notes (or rather, for haphazardly jotting down opinions in a comm that he’ll eventually clean up and send to Geoff and Christine).

Len taps his stylus against his bottom lip, so focused on the article in front of him that he doesn’t notice when Jim’s attention shifts away from Spock. Geoff had sent him this one, after all, already annotated with a handful of thoughts; it’s a preliminary study, so the authors are cautious to draw conclusions, but their results are remarkable. The Enterprise would be a prime location to attempt further analysis. If the study is replicable--

“--Bones!” Jim snaps his fingers, and Len flinches with surprise, jerking his head up.

“Sorry, what?” he asks blankly, glancing from Spock- fingers steepled and still contemplating the chess board- to Jim, whose eyes are crinkled with the force of the fond grin he’s directing at Len.

“You mutter under your breath when you read those things, you know.” Jim spins Spock’s rook in the fingers of one hand and gestures vaguely with the other. “There’s lots of scoffing interspersed with the occasional thoughtful hum.”

Len rolls his eyes, tossing his stylus down on the table and stretching his back with a wince. “Didja need somethin’, Jim?”

“We’ve been discussing tomorrow’s landing party, and I’d like your opinion.” He leans back in his seat, settling his hands over his stomach with a small little grin on his face.

“Tomorrow...” Len racks his brain, drumming his fingers. He’d tuned out most of the department meeting that morning in favor of trying to catch up on enough paperwork to keep the nurses from plotting his murder. “Play time for the botanists, isn’t it?” He looks to Spock for confirmation, but the Vulcan is still contemplating his next move. Figures.

“You have such a way with words, Bones.” Jim’s eyes are twinkling with amusement. “Yes, the planet’s low in fauna with a tropical climate; in other words, high biodiversity but low risk, at least according to preliminary scans. As of yet the landing party is composed of Mr. Spock, Mr. Sulu, and three scientists.”

Len scoffs. “Given how often our preliminary scans claim that there’re no humanoid creatures on a planet and then we end up runnin’ for our lives--”

“Exactly my point.” Jim raps his knuckles on the arm of his chair, looking rather self-satisfied. “I’d like to add two security ensigns and a medical officer to the roster.”

“And I have pointed out to the captain that the likelihood of a physical provocation which could not be handled by myself and Mr. Sulu is quite negligible,” Spock tells Len, though his gaze is still leveled on the chessboard. “Additionally, in the event of a medical emergency, a beam out will be required regardless of the presence of one of the ship’s esteemed doctors or nurses.”

“I’d prefer to err on the side of caution,” Jim insists, and Spock finally shifts his attention, leveling Len with a flat gaze that would have been a long-suffering eye roll if he were nearly anyone else.

Len huffs, lips twitching in amusement--regarding which of them, he’s not entirely sure. “Jim, how come ya only ever bother to cover your bases on away missions y’aren’t on?”

"I thought you’d approve of this plan, Bones.” Jim raises an eyebrow. “You’re always going on about how dangerous space is.”

He’s fishing for something, Len can tell. There’s something about his relaxed posture and gently teasing smile that’s very, very calculated.

Len sits back into the couch, eyes narrowing, and crosses his arms over his chest. “I didn’t say I didn’t,” he says carefully. “My point was, maybe you should apply this line of thinkin’ more often; it’s not just your people you need to protect, it’s your own self as well.”

He jerks his chin towards Spock. “Not that he’s wrong about it probably being overkill in this instance. Two security officers, Jim? On a planet with no animal life bigger’n a toy poodle?”

“Fair enough.” Jim nods. “Just one, then. No complaints about the medical officer?”

Len shrugs. “Not at all. Spock’s right that a beam out would be preferred, if not ultimately necessary, for treating most emergencies, but neither a medkit nor the person whose hip it’s on’s exactly useless.”

“Such an implication was not my intention,” Spock assures him.

“So quick to correct me, Mr. Spock; it’s almost like you care.” Len smiles innocently, and Jim buries a laugh behind one hand.

Spock folds his hands on the table, raising his eyebrow. “Not at all, Doctor.”

Len sits up straighter. “Oh?”

“You are aware of my personal opinions regarding your skills as a physician, of course--”

“Gentlemen,” Jim cuts in, before Len can fire back in kind, and Spock looks almost as disappointed as Len feels. “As entertaining as this is guaranteed to be, I had a different endgame in mind.”

“Figured you did,” Len says with a sigh, slouching back into the couch.

His captain drops his elbows to his knees, leaning forward as he flashes a winning smile, and Len feels himself instinctively growing suspicious. “Bones,” Jim begins.

“I changed my mind,” Len says quickly. “There’s no need for a medical officer on this mission.”

Jim’s smile remains in place, his voice patient as he continues. “I know you’re still catching up on your paperwork--”

“Spock, tell him how useless I am!” Len begs.

He receives an eyebrow in response. “Vulcans do not lie, Doctor.”

“--but your admirable expertise--”

Len buries his face in his hands. “The nurses are going to shank me, Jim.”

“--makes you the obvious choice for the away mission tomorrow,” Jim concludes.

“I’m talking Julius Caesar on the Ides of March,” he says desperately. “The entire medbay with a scalpel in hand, taking turns stabbing me in the back.”

Spock makes a quiet noise of disagreement. “Nurse Chapel is highly tolerant of your shortcomings, Doctor; she- and her nurses in her image- will accept another day’s delay with impeccable grace.”

Len drops his hands, shooting them a dirty look. “I hate both of you,” he informs them. “I hope you understand that.”

Jim is too busy being smug to be sympathetic. “Should’ve been doing work tonight instead of reading medical journals,” he tells Len cheerfully, straightening out of his slouch and turning back to the chessboard. “Now, Mr. Spock--”

“I have forfeit,” Spock interjects. His king is, indeed, laid delicately on its side. “A formality,” he adds, ever so slightly sardonic, “given that both Doctor McCoy and I lost this game before we ever set foot in your quarters tonight.”

Len clasps his hands behind his back, bouncing slightly on his toes as he crowds in rather closer than necessary to peer over Spock's shoulder. He's hoping to provoke comment—he’s bored, largely extraneous for this mission, and Spock’s preferences for personal space wouldn't be an awful subject with which to whittle away their time left on this rock.

Unfortunately, Spock's far too caught up in his work to fall for it this time. He barely spares Len a glance as he waves his tricorder over the plant in front of him, murmuring a "fascinating" to himself at whatever readings he's getting.

Len backs off a step, ignoring the irrational twinge of disappointment in his gut, and turns to survey the rest of the landing party. The science blues (and Lieutenant Sulu) are spread in a messy circle as they methodically catalog the flora and small fauna of the planet. The exception is Antonio Martinez, the security officer; he stands at the center of the circle, drumming his fingers on his thigh and trying to stay alert. This’ll be a quiet mission for the both of them, assuming everything goes according to plan.

Len snorts. Nothing ever goes according to plan for the Enterprise or her crew.

Spock glances over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised slightly, and Len shrugs in response to the silent question. "Just thinkin' that it's been an awful quiet mission so far, but knowin’ our luck it won't stay that way."

"Don’t jinx us, Doc," Sulu calls, and Len barks a surprised laugh.

"Tell you what, Mr. Sulu, if you can confirm that these alien trees are in fact made of wood, I'll give one a rap just to put your mind at ease."

Spock turns away from his tricorder readings once more, a slight frown in that Vulcan brow of his, and Len waves a hand carelessly. "It's a human superstition, Mr. Spock; saying something aloud can make it come true, and knockin’ on wood’ll stave off the effects."

"That is quite illogical, Doctor,” Spock states disapprovingly.

"Quite," Len agrees, clapping Spock on the shoulder. “We humans are like that.” After a moment, he grins, adding, “On occasion.”

Spock’s eyebrow clearly indicates his opinion of that caveat as he returns to his work.

A hand brushes his elbow, and he jumps guiltily, turning away from Spock and schooling his face into polite interest. The unofficial head botanist of the Enterprise, Min Sung, laughs silently as she tilts her tricorder to show him the readings. “The fibers of the trees do resemble Terran wood, Doctor,” she explains, glancing at Spock’s back with her lips twisted in amusement.

He clears his throat, feeling himself flush red. “Well, alright then. Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“No problem, Doctor.” She winks at him as she drifts away once more.

“Everyone on this damn ship needs to learn to mind their own business,” Len mutters under his breath, raising his eyes up to the sky. (It’s purple, almost entirely hidden by blue-green leaves--for a moment, he sways with how strongly he misses Earth.)

“Grab the closest tree, Doc, we don’t have all day,” Sulu calls teasingly, and Len snaps back to the present.

He wiggles his eyebrows at Sulu, bouncing on his toes, and strides carefully through the underbrush to the nearest russet trunk. “Let’s take care of this jinx,” he announces jokingly, then takes a deep breath, stretches out his fist--

And raps his knuckles smartly against the wood three times. With a huff of laughter, he rolls his eyes at himself and spins on his heel, moving back into the circle.

“Almost expected something dramatic to happen just before you knocked,” Martinez tells him, flashing a grin.

“You and me both, ensign,” Len agrees with a self-deprecating chuckle. He drifts over to the security officer, reaching out to pluck lightly at the sleeve of his uniform shirt. “You aren’t binding today, are you?” he asks lowly, glaring up at him suspiciously.

“Nah. Protocol not to on away missions, in case we end up exerting ourselves or staying overnight. Bad for the ribs to leave it on, and, you know...” He makes a gesture as if pulling something his shirt over his head. “Pain in the ass to take it off.”

Len snorts. “I haven’t had to wear a binder in twenty-five years, Martinez, but trust me, I know.” He nods to himself, hands on his hips. “Glad to hear you don’t have your head too far up your ass to ignore sound medical advice.”

The ensign tosses back his head as he laughs. “Well, Doc, you've yelled at me ‘n’ Harper when you’ve seen us in the gym enough times...”

Len vaguely remembers grabbing a stick thin young man- his white shirt damp enough with sweat to make his binder easily visible- by the arm and dragging him bodily off of the sparring mats. “Guess I have,” he agrees mildly.

Martinez grins down at him, utterly and completely unrepentant (and also looking a bit fond), so Len scowls and shoves a finger in his face even as the first drops of rain begin to fall. “Y’all’re seventeen kinds of stupid wrapped up in the invincibility of youth,” he says hotly, “and you seem t’ think--”

“Why didn’t the ship warn us a storm was on its way?” Sulu asks, face turned up to the sky, and Len breaks off with a sudden sense of foreboding.

He grabs Martinez’s communicator off of his belt, the device closer to hand than his own, and snaps out, “McCoy to Enterprise.”

The silence he receives in answer is deafening. On every side of him, the other members of the away team receive the same results. Almost as one, they turn with grim faces to move towards their commanding officer.

“No storms were visible as of this morning.” Spock’s voice is barely loud enough to be heard over the rain as it pours faster and faster. “The weather of this planet must be highly mercurial. I would postulate--” He pauses for a crash of thunder far less distant than Len would prefer. “That the electrical charge of the storm blocked communications- and transport- before a warning could be issued.”

“Didn’t knock fast enough,” Len mutters to himself, twisting back to check that Martinez is on his heels and Abd Basara not far behind.

The crash of thunder is so loud, the crack of lightning so close, that the ground shakes and the air smells of ozone; Len doesn’t see the tree explode as it’s hit, but he hits the ground hard- shoved- someone shielding him with their own body.

“Are you hurt, Doctor?” Spock asks, rolling off of him immediately, but Len is scrambling to his feet.

“WHO WAS CLOSEST?” he bellows over the rain, his tricorder appearing in his hand almost before he thinks to reach for it.

Riley Jenkins inspects the back of her arm, lips tight, and he makes a beeline for her. “JUST A COUPLE SPLINTERS, DOCTOR MCCOY,” she assures him as soon as she notices him. “THE TREE WAS NEARLY TEN METERS AWAY.”

“I’LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT, HONEY, IF YOU DON’T MIND!” He grasps her wrist to gently guide her arm to a better position, peering through the rain. Even with her shirt darkening under the onslaught of rain, blood is easy enough to see against the blue; there thankfully isn’t much of it. In another moment, his tricorder confirms her diagnosis with a whir that he probably imagines more than hears.

His smile is enough answer for her, and for Spock as well--

His hands are insistent on their shoulders, guiding them to join the others. “WE MUST FIND PROPER SHELTER.”

“THE GEOLOGICAL SURVEY HAD NO INDICATION OF CAVE SYSTEMS NEAR OUR COORDINATES.” Min Sung points in a seemingly arbitrary direction, her uniform sticking heavily to her slender form. There’s a spark of determination in her eyes as she insists, “OUR ONLY CHOICE IS TO HEAD DEEPER INTO THE FOREST.”

Spock doesn’t waste his breath continuing to shout over the rain; he simply nods, sharply, and leads the way.

“This is the worst idea.” Len cups his hands around his mouth, shouting, “DO YOU HEAR ME, SPOCK? THIS IS AN AWFUL IDEA!”

Spock, fifteen feet above their heads, pointedly ignores him. He moves higher and higher with a cat-like grace, his pale, slender form starkly visible in the gloom. The alien trees, though the first two and a half meters of their trunks are bare, have a large number of thick, long, twisting branches; as close together as they grow in this part of the forest, Spock moves as easily as climbing a ladder.

Nonetheless, Len winces as he watches Spock jump calmly from one branch to another--those Starfleet issue boots have awful traction. (He’s treated enough security ensigns for concussions after they slid out while chasing that week’s intruder; he should know.)

“None of us had any better ideas,” Sung points out. She sounds exhausted and looks the part, too, with dark circles under her eyes and humidity-frizzy strands of hair escaped from her ponytail. It had taken them hours to find this dry spot, hours to wait out the storm, and more hours still to argue their way to a solution after communications remained down.

Len softens, at least momentarily. “That doesn’t make this one good, Lieutenant,” he tells her. “These trees are thousands of meters tall--” he cups his hands around his mouth again--”AND EVEN ASSHOLE VULCANS CAN DIE FROM FALLING THOUSANDS OF METERS, MR. SPOCK!”

Jenkins stifles a giggle behind one hand, and Martinez mutters something that makes Sulu choke on his spit. (Len purposefully chooses to mishear it.)

“Of all the damn fool plans he’s come up with in the past,” Len says firmly, “this one really takes the fucking--” he breaks off his complaining, burying his face in his hands as he comes to a realization. “Jesus. Jesus--it’s not even going to work.”

“What?” Basara asks, brown eyes going wide with alarm. “What do you mean, it’s not going to--”

“Goddamn Vulcan muscle mass,” Len spits, then tips his head back as he shouts, “YOU’RE TOO HEAVY FOR THE SMALLER BRANCHES! YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO GET FAR ENOUGH INTO THE CANOPY!”

Spock pauses. He seems to consider the words for about thirty seconds, then states heavily (and just barely loud enough to be heard), “That remains to be seen, Doctor.” He begins to climb once more.

Len snarls under his breath, rubbing his face vigorously. “How the hell do I always get sucked into these things?” he demands, of no one in particular, then snaps out, “Pocket knife.”

Sulu blinks at him. “I’m sorry?”

“Not you--SPOCK! STAY THERE FOR A MINUTE!” Len sheds his shirt and then turns to Martinez, shoving out his hand expectantly. “Pocket knife,” he repeats.

Martinez stares at him for a second in abject confusion, eyes flicking briefly up to Spock as if asking permission, and finally leans down, drawing the small knife clipped inside his left boot. “How did you...?”

Len snatches it out of his hand, twisting over his shoulder to make sure Spock hasn’t continued moving, and mutters distractedly, “The same way I know which engineers have ratcheting screwdrivers shoved through their belt loops ‘n’ which ones keep allen wrenches in their updos...”

He flicks open the knife and carefully makes a cut, a few inches deep, into the seam of the shirt. He then turns the knife and begins one long cut, turning the shirt rapidly until he hits one of the sleeves, creating one long strip of fabric. “The nurses know everythin’,” he explains, “and they reward me for doin’ my paperwork by keepin’ me in the loop.”

Sung accepts the now-worthless remaining fabric that Len shoves in her direction, though she’s clearly dumfounded. “What are you doing, Doctor?”

“He intends to accompany me, and is protecting his hands from the bark of the trees,” Spock calls, and Len’s lips twitch into a humorless grin as he eyeballs the halfway mark, cutting his strip of fabric in two. “I would like to make clear my opposition to your plan, Doctor, though I am aware that I cannot convince you to abandon it in favor of a more logical course of action.”

“Complaint noted, Mr. Spock...” Len hasn’t wrapped his hands like this in ages- he doesn’t box on the ship, not wanting to give Jim any wise ideas about his ability to handle himself in a fight- but muscle memory doesn’t fail him. Three loops around his wrist, two around the meat of his palm, then passing the fabric between each of his fingers, wrapping his palm in between. He doesn’t have enough to wrap his thumb, leaving a triangle of skin exposed, but it’s better than nothing. He frowns heavily as he wraps his other hand, concluding, “And appropriately ignored.”

He eyes the branch Spock had started with; there’s no way Len- nearly three inches shorter- will be able to reach it, especially factoring in those lanky Vulcan limbs. With a sigh, he turns to Sulu and Martinez. “Gentlemen, a boost?”

“One moment, Doctor.” Spock’s voice is much closer than before; Len looks up, surprised, just as Spock drops lightly onto the branch in question. He crouches, extending one fine-boned hand.

Len huffs. “Thought you didn’t approve of my company,” he grouses, rather than acknowledge the way his heart does something funny in his chest, and reaches up in return. Spock settles his grip carefully, the vaguest hint of a frown visible between his eyebrows as his fingers curl around the wrappings on Len’s wrist, and then- in one smooth motion- he rises to his feet.

Scrambling to find his balance as his feet come level with the branch, Len abandons his grip on Spock’s hand to grab at his shoulders instead. “Lucky I’m so goddamn skinny,” he mutters, looking down past their feet to the rest of the landing party, who all stare back up with wide eyes. “This is the fucking worst plan.”

Spock doesn’t sigh, but he does breathe in and then out rather forcefully, an action that brushes his chest against Len’s. (Len flushes with embarrassment, remembering he’s shirtless, and takes a hasty but careful step back.) “Doctor, I did not ask you to accompany me.”

“You’ve got me anyway.” Len sniffs, reaching out to smooth away the wrinkles he’s left in Spock’s uniform shirt. He turns, stretching for the next branch, and hauls himself up as he mutters, “Don’t tell Jim I tore up my shirt to wrap my hands; we’ll never get him back with his uniform shirt intact again.”

Strength training has never been a priority for Len; cardio and endurance are infinitely more useful to him as a surgeon, and the relentless hours in the gym necessary to build muscle mass are a waste of time. He takes his own sound advice when it comes to maintaining a regular exercise schedule while on-ship, fitting in time for a run five or six times a week- not counting all the times he ends up sprinting from his medbay to the transporter room- to maintain a healthy resting heart rate and muscle tone for a man of his age.

Len isn’t in bad shape.

This is what he’s telling himself, the wraps around his hands uncomfortably damp with sweat, as he stubbornly matches Spock’s relentless pace. It’s just that he’s human, and not a young, spry one on top of that.

His foot slips and he curses, throwing himself forward to grab at the branch he’d been about to reach for. The bark scrapes off a layer of the skin of his chest on impact, but he’s too busy seeing his life flash before his eyes to notice or care.

Len continues to cling to the branch, panting, as Spock backtracks to his side. “Are you hurt, Doctor?” he asks softly, one hand moving as if to touch Len reassuringly--but Spock must think better of the action, confronted by the bare expanse of Len’s back, since he instead firmly settles both hands on the branch in front of him.

Reluctantly, Len admits, “I need a break.” He pulls himself up, grunting at the protest his tired muscles make, and shuffles carefully to lean back against the trunk. Spock doesn’t smile back when Len offers him a thin grin (not that Len expected him to).

“We have not yet reached the canopy,” Spock tells him, carefully dancing around a vocalization of the disapproval Len can see in his dark eyes. “The thickness of the branches and lack of animal life are still indicative of the subcanopy.”

“Ways to go yet, I know.” Len scrubs at his face, the rough edges of the bindings on his hands scraping in a way he appreciates. He’s a little taller than Spock, sitting on the branch like this; it’s an odd feeling to have to look down on the Vulcan. “Not used to this much exertion, Spock; you have to forgive me.”

“If you are truly feeling exhaustion, Doctor, then--”

“You’re not leavin’ me behind,” Len snaps. Spock watches him silently, and he scoffs, scrambling to push himself back to his feet. “Break time over,” he says sourly. “Try to keep up.”

“You are being illogical,” Spock states, easily pacing Len. There’s a vague undercurrent of annoyance in his voice. “I was not proposing--”

“The diameter of these branches has been gettin’ smaller, you green blooded hobgoblin,” Len puffs, pausing to lean on the trunk and bounce his weight; the branch shakes underneath their feet, and Spock practically radiates disapproval. “You weigh 40% more’n a typical human of your height and build, and I’m shorter and skinnier to boot. I’ll be able to get a hell of a lot higher’n you, even if it takes me more effort to get there.”

“Doctor McCoy, I--”

Len waves a finger in Spock’s face, cutting him off. “You and Jim, always so insistent that you’re the only ones who can save the day. Well, guess what? Sometimes other people--”

“Leonard!” Spock says sharply, and Len's brain practically short-circuits; he gapes like a fish as he tries to formulate a sensible response.

Spock doesn’t give him the time or the satisfaction. “I am aware of my limitations,” he insists, dark eyes imploring as he searches Len’s face. “I am simply asking you to be aware of yours.”

Len licks his lips, feeling his face burning. Probably his chest, too, not that he wants to glance down to confirm. “What--” he clears his throat. “What’re you proposing?”

Spock turns on his heel, presenting Len with the straight line of his back, and then proceeds to drop to one knee. “The most logical course of action, Doctor; in order to conserve your strength for the leg of the journey you will be forced to take alone--”

“Oh.” Len closes his eyes. “Oh, good Lord.”

“--I will carry you until our combined weight exceeds the limitations of the branches.”

“Sweet Jesus! No!” Len grabs him underneath the arms, tugging ineffectually until Spock rises of his own volition. He turns back to face Len with the vaguest hint of a frown hovering about the corners of his lips, and Len throws his arms wide, feeling his face twist incredulously. “You’re not carryin’ me piggy back, Spock! Just let me set the pace from here on out, you damn fool--I won’t wear out so quick if we’re not sprintin’ up the fuckin’ tree.”

“If you insist,” Spock says, in that neutral way that means he has an opinion he won’t bother to voice (because Len should already know better).

“Thank you kindly for the offer," Len tells him, propping his hands on his hips and rolling his eyes, “but I do very much insist.”

Spock holds his gaze for a moment longer, and then he nods, sharply. “Do you require further rest before we continue?”

Len’s knee jerk reaction is to tell 'im to fuck off, but--

His fingers are raw and sore, his ribs ache from where he’d fallen, his legs feel a bit like jello, and his lungs are burning; about the only parts of him that feel okay are his palms, protected by his makeshift handwraps.

He refuses to look Spock in the eye. “Another minute couldn’t hurt,” he mutters gruffly.

Spock nods, seeming neither surprised nor bothered.

Len narrows his eyes. “What?” he demands, and for once, Spock doesn’t pretend to misunderstand the context of the question.

“While we rest,” he murmurs, “there is something I could show you, Doctor.” He reaches past Len to brush his fingers over the bark of the trunk, his expression fleetingly- shockingly- open in its quiet awe. “This forest is simply… extraordinary.”

Len’s breath catches in his throat. He’s never seen Spock- of his own volition, without mind control or the effects of an alien drug- appear so raw and unguarded. “Yeah?” he croaks out.

“I was not certain what I was sensing until recently, when I grasped the same branch with both hands; the awareness is slow moving, ancient, and lacking in complexity, making it difficult to detect.” Spock lays his palm flat, long, pale fingers spreading greedily across the bark. “Nonetheless, I have come to the conclusion that these trees are a single, sentient organism.”

Len whistles, long and low. This forest covers hundreds of acres, bears thousands of ‘individual’ trees. The root system- the nervous system- necessary to connect something so vast would have to be staggeringly complex. “The botanists are gonna swoon; Min might not even actually let us beam her up.”

“Yes.” Spock’s eyes look almost amused. “Lieutenant Sung is a highly passionate scientist.”

Len feels his own lips twitch in response. “Now, I’m sure I don’t know anyone like that,” he drawls, rocking forward onto the balls of his feet.

“No one, Doctor?” Spock seems to sway forward himself, or maybe it’s just Len’s mind playing tricks on him, making him think the distance between them is getting smaller.

He tilts his chin higher, meeting Spock’s gaze with a devilish grin. “No one,” he insists.

There’s a beat where he almost thinks--

“I would like to initiate a meld,” Spock announces, shattering the moment.

Len jerks back in surprise, his back hitting the trunk of the tree--the pain makes his “What in the goddamned hell are you going on about, Spock?!?” come out even sharper than intended.

“There is so much to learn and so little time,” Spock tells him, his usual monotone just slightly softened by a near reverence. He lifts his hand to hover near Len’s temple in silent invitation. “Will you join me, Doctor?” he asks softly.

Len stares at him.  “I changed my mind, Mr. Spock,” he says furiously, even as he presses forward into the waiting fingers. “This is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

My mind to your mind; my thoughts to your thoughts.

They’ve done this before, Spock’s hand curling around the side of his face, drawing him under--insisting, that previous time, that their upcoming firefight at the OK Corral would be incapable of causing them injury.

This is different.

They dive together, headfirst into an ancient, omniscient awareness, at once drawing life from the damp, dark soil and beckoning the rays of the binary suns their planet orbits. There’s childlike curiosity in the way they stretch into the skin of this new form of life, darting straight for the furthest reaches of their collective thought and gathering data haphazardly--too excited to slow down and be methodical, and that must be Len, unless maybe it’s Spock.

More of a colony than a single organism--

It doesn’t even notice us--

Negative; we’re simply so incredibly insignificant compared to it--

You just used a contraction!

There’s a wave of delight and amusement so tall and wide it can’t possibly be all from Len--their arboreal companion stirs, something akin to primordial annoyance directed their way, and Len drags Spock away like they’re naughty school boys caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

He’s laughing, darting from the consciousness of one tree to another, tracing a wide circle back towards where they started. Spock keeps pace with him as easily here as he does in the physical realm, or maybe he’s keeping pace with Spock...

There’s something dreamlike in the way perspectives shift and twist within a meld, things you’d taken as fact becoming fiction becoming another fact entirely, and suddenly this isn’t quite so fun any more, he’s losing himself in the forest as if he’s German and eight, except here there are no breadcrumbs--

Leonard, Spock murmurs, catching his hand, and it’s just the two of them.

He laughs again, giddy with relief to be back in his own mind. He’d say he doesn’t even mind that Spock’s there, too, but it’s impossible to lie when Spock can feel the way his exasperation and affection wind over and around each other into something almost like--

Spock’s kissing him, projecting a wave of emotion that tastes like amazement and relief and reciprocation, and Len fumbles for Spock’s hand, chasing a fleeting memory of Sarek and Amanda exchanging fond glances as they touch fingers. (He remembers, too, green blood up to his elbows and a fluttery panic in his chest as the ship shook around him while he held two lives in his hands, but a steady, insistent confidence quickly worms its way into the forefront instead.)

He pushes forward the bitter sort of anger driving his words in a faux-Roman prison cell, the regret and guilt twining around every syllable even as they dripped from his lips; Spock offers his own guilt-want-embarrassment-fury from a frozen cave in the past, layered in the terror and horror with which he looks back on the way his hand had close don Len’s throat. Len shares the blindingly giddy relief behind “Shut up, Spock, we’re rescuing you!”, and Spock reveals the way his heart missed a beat when Len was the first thing he saw.

Sap.

How very hypocritical, Leonard.

Len breaks away, desperate for oxygen, and the meld dissolves, slowly, around him. He senses a final wisp of reluctance, counter-acted by a sense of duty.

“We must complete our mission, Doctor,” Spock murmurs. They’re still close enough together for his breath to brush across Len’s lips; his hand cradles Len’s jaw as if he were something precious, fragile. He hasn’t yet opened his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Len blinks repeatedly, trying to get used to be alone in his skin once more. “I’m feeling quite, ah, rested, Mr. Spock, thank you.”

Len’s panting and sweaty and visibly flushed red from head to toe (there’s a phantom memory of a vaguely guilty appreciation of the way the muscles in his own back move as he climbs--), and it’s truly, utterly unfair that Spock looks so impeccable. Spitefully, he reaches up with the hand that’s not still desperately clutching Spock’s, ruffling that neat Vulcan hair of his.

Spock’s eyes fly open, heavy with disapproval, and Len grins crookedly at him. “You think I’m good at my job,” he teases, heading off the reprimand.

The breath Spock draws in is laden with exasperation; he straightens away from Len and drops his hand (though his fingertips linger on Len’s skin for a long moment). “You have expressed such sentiments in the past regarding myself, as well,” he points out heavily.

“You kissed me, Mr. Spock; you don’t get to start playing coy now.” Len squeezes Spock’s hand one final time before letting him go, a smug tilt to his grin as he turns to reach for the next branch. He feels light as a feather, his fatigue utterly forgotten.

“You forget, Doctor, that you kissed me as well,” Spock fires back. He’s betrayed by the faint green blush spreading across his cheeks and staining the tips of his ears.

Len’s still laughing when his communicator chirps in another two hundred meters--”Miss Nyota,” he drawls sincerely, “yours sure is a voice for sore ears. Tell Scotty to beam me straight to sickbay so I can put on a damn shirt before the captain sees what I’ve done to this one.”

(Turns out they were able to receive a signal before the branches stopped bearing Spock’s weight after all.)

Jim looks back and forth between them, disbelief written in every line of his face. “Run me through this again,” he insists, and Len rubs the bridge of his nose, his other hand propped on his hip. “You went further into the forest to escape the rain, then realized communications and sensors were actually being blocked by a particular mineral in the soil that the trees actively absorbed, and instead of turning around and walking back to the clearing where you were beamed down...”

Len elbows Spock. “I told you it was a bad plan,” he hisses. “Even Jim thinks it was a bad plan!”

“Doctor, please keep your appendages to yourself.” Spock takes a half-step to the side, ignoring the scowl Len directs at his stupidly attractive profile. “Returning to our beam down site would have taken several additional hours, and the morale and fatigue of the landing party required more immediate action. Given that Mr. Scott had successfully beamed the party into the forest, all that was necessary was to effectively communicate our coordinates to the ship.”

“And then,” Jim plows on, “you decided to mind meld with a tree because Bones needed a break--”

“I wouldn’t say needed--”

“To be precise, Captain, we melded with the collective consciousness of every tree in the forest.”

Jim drags a hand down his face, and Len scoffs. “We didn’t do anything you wouldn’t’ve done yourself, Jim,” he snaps, prodding a finger in his captain’s direction. “You beamed down with Abraham Lincoln to fist fight Genghis Khan, you impersonated a Romulan to steal a cloaking device, you asked Scotty to drink through his entire stash in one night to knock an alien on its ass, you had Spock mind meld with a rock--” he throws his hands in the air. “It’s the goddamned eighth wonder of the world that any one of us is alive!”

Jim’s glare is stony. “Report to sickbay; I’m tired of looking at you, and your away team was out of contact with the Enterprise for nine hours. I want all seven of you checked out by Doctor M’Benga and Nurse Chapel.”

Len blows out a breath. “Yeah, Jim. Fair enough.” He slips past him towards the door of the ready room, squeezing Jim’s shoulder as he goes--he hadn’t meant to imply that the crew was alive in spite of him rather than because of him. “I think the world of you, Captain; you know that.”

“Kiss ass,” Jim mutters, but there’s a grin somewhere under the words.

Len pauses in the doorway, turning to raise an eyebrow at Spock. “Comin’, hobgoblin?”

Spock looks at Jim, his face guarded even by his own standards. “We made one omission from our official report, Captain,” he says, voice perfectly neutral.

Jim’s shoulders straighten. “Explain,” he snaps.

“It’s none of anyone’s goddamn business but ours, and I s’pose whatever lucky bastard won the pot,” Len interjects, before Spock can do more than open his mouth. Jim jerks his head to look at him, expression somewhere between delight and shock, and Len adds, drily, as he props a hip on the doorframe, “I’m guessin’ it’s Nyota or Janice?”

He turns his attention back to Spock, feeling a sly grin steal over his lips. “Now, my dear Mr. Spock, d’you have any intention of comin’ willin’ly, or am I gonna have to make good on that threat I made a month or so back?” He raises his thumb and forefinger, pinching them together meaningfully. “Draggin’ you to your physical by your pointy-greens...”

“You are far too fond of my ears to mishandle them as such, Doctor,” Spock says gravely.

Jim positively howls with laughter as Len splutters indignantly. “You listen hear, you green blooded hobgoblin,” he snarls, falling into step beside Spock as he strides out of the ready room with his typical pristine composure. “I think we need a few ground rules about how, when, and where we’re allowed to discuss our fondnesses--”

[flamingbluepanda]

IMPORTANT ADDITION EVERYONE REBLOG:

On TOP of this before they’ve probably gotten married for the sake of the mission more than once. Like, Jim will always ask Spock because hey, strengthening my bond with my second is a Good Idea and Spock’s argument is the same like “Yeah it is logical to strengthen my bond with my captain.”

Alien of the week: and finally, to prove your acceptance of our culture, we deeply wish for someone on board to preform the ultra special bonding ceremony that is super important to our culture

Jim, grinning wryly at spock: hey, wanna get married again?

Spock, sighing logically; for the 24th time captain, there is no one I would rather marry

Jim: *heart eyes*

Bones: OH MY GOD WHY CANT YOU JUST GET MARRIED ON EARTH

I think the best thing about Amok Time is that it is canon that satisfying the Pon Farr is equivalent to marriage on Vulcan. Usually this is done with sex, and since T’Pring challenged the winner would have gotten to marry her via sex while the loser would have been dead…

but since Jim didn’t die, spock satisfied his Pon Farr with him, AND he did no frickle frackle with T’Pring, for all intents and purposes, Jim and Spock are canonically married by Vulcan law.

And idk I just picture that the next time T’Pau calls spock she’s just like “and how fares your husband” and spock is just like “hold up what husband.”

T’Pau: “your husband. James Kirk.”

Spock: “gRANDMOTHER THE CAPTAIN IS NOT MY HUSBAND. YOU ARE MIXING UP THE ENGLISH WORDS AGAIN.”

T’Pau: “You rolled with him in the sands and did not die. He lives and therefore he is your husband. You rOLLED WITH HIM IN THE SACRED SANDS GRANDSON. Also your father and mother believe he is. Your mother has knitted him sweaters.”

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 13: Star Trek Beyond

Some attempted thoughts on Star Trek Beyond.

So first it was bad lol. It is the worst. I thought maybe it would be less the worst than I had previously thought but it really, really is just irredeemably bad.

Trying to keep up with what was actually happening and talk in the group chat was too difficult and I now feel very exhausted lol. And I’m not even sure what I watched.

I liked Jaylah a lot, including her back story, characterization, “house,” traps, and cool mirror tricks.

I also like Kirk in that emergency uniform with the jacket unzipped.

That’s it! That’s all I liked.

In the past I’ve also said I liked the Spock and Bones parts but I honestly wasn’t a fan of them either this time around!

None of the characters felt IC and none of the relationships felt true or were compelling. Which is particularly egregious given that the alleged theme was strength in unity.

The movie was especially lacking in K/S content or even K & S interaction, which obviously didn’t please me. And it’s definitely the worst Kirk characterization I’ve ever seen. There’s no excuse for that either because it’s halfway through the 5YM, which means he should be pretty close to TOS Kirk--yes, he has a different set of experiences, so there’s going to be some variation, but there’s comparatively less excuse for a radically different characterization than in STXI and STID. They should have had Shatner read the script and make notes lol because whatever else you might say about him he KNOWS Captain Kirk.

Like, he (Kirk) lacked humor and charm and, often, confidence. He had moments when he was very smart and moments when he had a commanding presence. But he had just as many moments when he was whiny or bored and his Captain’s log??? I deserve financial compensation for every time I’ve listened to that. Bored of space?? No, this man is bored when he’s stuck on Earth. He stagnates in desk jobs. He is an adventurer and explorer before he’s ANYTHING else; if you don’t get that, you don’t need to be writing Star Trek.

Also, as I have frequently complained, I’m tired of him having no internal conflict or emotional complexity past his father issues. First reboot movie: dealing with his dead father’s memory and his step-father’s abuse. Fine, that makes sense for how they set up the AU. Second reboot movie: entirely motivated by the need for Manly Vengeance upon the person who killed his father figure. And for this redundant story line (in many sense) we had to lose Pike? Third reboot movie: you’d think he’d finally be ready to move on to other conflicts but actually no this time he’s sad about his birthday and having a longer life span than his...you guessed it!! father!! Yet again.

What else has ever motivated him? Legitimate question.

The destruction of the Enterprise was truly horrific. Long, boring, unwarranted, and without any emotional punch. As if it were just any ship! No, she’s a character in her own right and she’s not to be sacrificed like that but please tell me again how Simon Pegg is a true fan who brought the franchise back to its roots?

B said he did like that they split up the crew into unusual units but I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t entirely disagree, but I don’t think they did a lot that was interesting with any of those separated units. Uhura and Sulu are a cool pair (but this would have been a good opportunity to include Sulu’s semi-canonical crush on Uhura but whatever... a different rant) and they almost did some interesting stuff with them. There were glimmers of a caper in that story line and times when I could tell they were straining especially hard to make Uhura, their Sole Female Main--now that they cut out Rand, Chapel, and even Carol Marcus--into something Feminist and Interesting. But it didn’t quite gel for me. Like, Uhura would be having almost interesting dialogue with the villain and holding her own...and then she loses track of her colleague and has to watch that person die, thus undercutting everything she just said about unity and seeming to prove the villain’s point. Is she competent or not?

Bones and Spock are a pair I care about and like but again I think their canonical relationship in TOS is more interesting than STB showed. I personally read them as like...reluctant best friends who originally just had one person in common, and then realized they also like each other too, but they’ll never really say it. They understand each other but pretend not to. They have fun with the barbs they throw at each other. They both deeply love Jim but in different ways. They enjoy their intellectual debates. (That’s one thing that was definitely missing from them here! The intellectual debates!) So again, there was something there but not enough.

And Kirk and Chekov just happened to land near each other; nothing was done with that relationship per se. They really aren’t people who have much of a relationship in TOS so there’s not a lot to work off of but then on the other hand there IS an opportunity to create something new. Maybe I’m being too harsh and too vague but it just didn’t gel for me. The only specific K and C moment I remember was that supremely un-funny joke about Kirk’s aim as he sets off the “wery large bomb.”

But like there are possibilities.. they’re both pretty horny and Chekov is a whiz kid and Kirk is also very smart and has always been smart... Like in other words people Chekov’s age don’t end up on the bridge crew, in either ‘verse, without the Captain’s say, so even though he’s TOS!Spock’s and AOS!Scotty’s protege, Kirk is important to his life. Something with that maybe??

I’m upset that Spock’s individual story line was about whether or not he should go off and make baby Vulcans because, again as I have complained many times before, that was a conflict he faced and resolved in ten minutes two movies ago, and it doesn’t make sense to me for him to bring it up again now just because the Ambassador is dead. Like... the Ambassador told him to stay in Starfleet!! “Ah, yes, I will honor him by doing precisely the opposite of what he wanted me to do.”

Also--if they had made his motivation different or gone into it more, I would have been more into it. Make it about New Vulcan! Say there’s news from New Vulcan that it’s not doing well. Or what if T’Pring got in contact with him? Or what if we used this as an excuse to bring in Sarek?

This is part of a larger point for me which is that STXI set up a really cool AU and STID tried to do something with it--a little hit or miss, but it tried--and instead of pushing even more at the AU and developing it more and doing more with it... STB just ignored it! Was that part of what Paramount was warning about with making it “not too Star Trek-y?” Was it SUPPOSED to be a movie you could watch without having seen the last two? If so they did succeed but like.. .why? They made the supremely ballsy move of blowing up a founding Federation planet two movies ago and now they’ve just forgotten about that and all the reverberations that would necessarily have?

But of course we got a call back to Kirk being a Beastie Boys fan so.... Guess it was Deep all along.

We all three agreed that the core story of this film was potentially interesting but could have been done as a 50-some minute episode of a TV series rather than a whole-ass 2 hour movie. First off, cutting or cutting down the action sequences would have shaved off half an hour easily.

I’m frustrated in large part because there are certain things that are interesting here. I do like the concept of the crew being pulled on to an alien planet by a ship of former Federation crew, from the early days of the Federation/deep space flight, who were presumed missing but are somehow still alive because they have turned into aliens/used alien tech to prolong life, and who have also captured other aliens, like Jaylah, for the main crew to interact with. All of that was cool.

I would even be okay with these old Federation crew being villains but I don’t think that’s necessary or even the most interesting take.

But...first of all, as my mom pointed out, Krall was basically Nero in his illogical motivations: feeling aggrieved because someone who couldn’t help him didn’t help him and then just maniacally wanting revenge. It made more sense to me with Nero in a way. Maybe that was because he was better characterized, maybe it was because his anger was more personal (the loss of his wife), maybe--probably--it was because he was angry at Spock and Spock had actually promised to help, so there was some kernel of logic in his sense of betrayal, even if it was out of proportion etc. Also, Nero’s mania was portrayed as mania--we were all supposed to recognize that the strength of his emotion was warranted but his logic was deeply flawed. I think we were supposed to think Krall had some kinda... real criticism of the Federation, but in fact he doesn’t! He’s wrong! So like if he’d been angry with the Federation for abandoning him but the narrative and the other characters explicitly recognize that he’s wrong--the Federation tried but he was just doing something very dangerous and he recognized that danger on signing on--that might have been more palatable to me.

I’m not sure I’m making sense here entirely or explaining myself as well as I could.

I just don’t entirely get Krall’s beef with the Federation. I don’t get that whole “being a soldier and having conflict makes you strong and having people you can rely on and connections and community makes you weak.” That seems pretty obviously false. It also doesn’t really seem, not that I’m an expert, but particularly in line with military ethos either.

BUT the idea that he had a life that was comfortable to him as a soldier and then the Federation comes in and forms Starfleet and says, actually, we’re going to pull back on the soldiering and up the diplomacy and the exploration and the science--yeah, I could see that. I DO think Starfleet is military but even if you must insist it’s not, it’s clearly based on and formed from the military, and it has certain military functions. So obviously the first people to join or be folded into Starfleet probably were more explicitly military.

So he’s one of those people. Now he’s supposed to be a scientist and a diplomat and an explorer and he doesn’t like that. He’s given this very prestigious and interesting mission and jumps at it. Starfleet warns him, you might go beyond where we can reach, we might not be able to help you. That’s fine. But then when his ship is stranded and he is lost, he gets angry--maybe somewhat irrationally, but understandably--why?? Why did the Federation do this to him? What was even the point? When he put himself in danger before, at least he knew why. But just flying around space for the hell of it, and this is the cost? So that’s what creates his anger.

I thin this could be tied into Kirk’s diplomacy at the beginning--if the scene were written to not be a comedy bit where Kirk looks like an incompetent buffoon and is completely disrespectful the whole time. He’s good at this job and we should say it. But we could emphasize that this IS a diplomatic mission often, just as often as it’s a military or scientific mission. Maybe we could include other bits of their missions, too, to play up the variety of things they do and roles they play.

Another thing I think could be interesting, going back to my point about Spock, Vulcan, and using the first two movies and expanding on the world building... what if Spock wanted to leave Starfleet for better, more well-defined reasons, and we used that? Paralleled the two? Connected the two?

Because I think Vulcan in the AOS verse is very interesting and the movies didn’t do nearly enough with it. First, we have the Romulans showing up way earlier, at least visibly: in TOS, no one knew what they looked like or their connection to Vulcans until Spock is in his late 30s. In AOS, it happens not long after he’s born. So he’s growing up probably with more anti-Vulcan racism floating around the Federation. THEN Vulcan is destroyed. Now it has nothing and it needs to rely on the rest of the Federation, which must be both humbling and frustrating to many Vulcans, on top of the extreme tragedy of losing everything. Most of their population, a lot of their history, their manufacturing, their scientific facilities, their resources, their animals, literally whatever else you can think of that a planet has--all gone. Now all of the survivors have lived some period on an alien planet, by definition, and they’re probably very dependent on the Federation not just to set up the new colony, but to replace all of the resources--natural and Vulcan-made--that they lost. And they’re a founding Federation member, Earth’s first contact. They’re especially important. And now they’re weak, and reliant on others.

So maybe Spock, early on, hears from New Vulcan and they’re not doing well. Maybe we hear from Sarek or T’Pring (...I’d just like to see reboot T’Pring). Maybe it’s not about, or just about, having children, but about being from an important and ancient family, and being seen as a hero for his part in the Narada mission, that makes him want to go and help rebuild their government (taking his mother’s place perhaps? she was on the High Council) or their scientific facilities, or the VSA, or their space travel capabilities--you know Vulcan had space ships of their own, outside of Federation ships. This would be the perfect place to showcase that tension between wanting to be independent--out of pride, out of fear, even--and needing help, because Vulcan could not survive without the Federation, probably less than 10 years out from the original planet’s destruction.

And then you feed it back into Krall.

So I could see like... well the tension, and then Krall comes in, and he's angry that the Federation "abandoned" him, but we actually explicitly address this. Maybe Spock gets to interact with him and say "I get it. You had a life and a mission and a purpose that was comfortable for you. Then the Federation came in and changed everything. A lot of my people are also feeling upset for similar reasons. But here's why actually you're wrong."

So anyway as you can see I’m smarter and more interesting than Simon Pegg.

I also hated, speaking of writers of this movie, the gay Sulu thing and HEAR ME OUT on this. It’s homophobic. His husband doesn’t have a name? Might not be his husband at all? Looks like he could be his nanny or his brother? As B said “at least grab his butt or something.” That was the most sanitized, no-homo depiction of a gay person I’ve ever seen. He’s gay (see, progressives and queers! gay! you like that right!) but DON’T WORRY STRAIGHTS--he’s in a monogamous relationship and has a child, he’ll show nothing but the most platonic physical affection with his male significant other, and the plot point will be so minuscule you’ll need a microscope to detect it. Also, we’ll throw in a no homo joke about two male characters not wanting to hug and we’ll make sure Kirk and Spock interact as little as possible, because we know they give off Big Queer Vibes every time they’re together.

Yes the last point is a little unfair but can you blame me for being angry about all the “look how hip to the times we are” back-patting that went on in 2016 when canonical bisexual Kirk is RIGHT THERE and we could have had ex-boyfriend Gary Mitchell instead of Unnamed Nanny??

Also Sulu is a hella random choice because again, like... he may not have had an s.o. in TOS but nor was there any indication he was gay. So it seems a LITTLE like they picked him because (1) his original actor is gay and gay people can’t play straight people duh so probably Sulu was Gay All Along I mean did you not get vibes???; and/or (2) asexual Asian stereotypes preclude giving Sulu any kind of love interest, male or female, that is actually... sexual, outright romantic, anything.

Anyway I can’t remember if I had any other thoughts, but I’ve said quite enough I think.

I miss Kirk so much... real Kirk... even my version of AOS Kirk who is probably not even characterized that well but at least I worked with love!!!