#and it might read differently depending on the exact character saying it

[zodiacoracle]

Without going into details I've been thinking and reconfirmed there's a reason why I write fiction exclusively in English, and then I wonder again where my living experience starts and ends when I hatched the following for a personal work:

"Perhaps we are called the Children of Night because we are fated to live in darkness, never to be seen, yet we yearn for the glimmering stars in the distant sky."

[felassan]

John Epler in the BioWare Discord (August 7th, again) -

User: "Since the dialogue wheel is coming back, will our choices set our Rook as diplomatic/humorous/aggressive with varying tone and voice lines similar to Hawke being able to be blue/purple/red?" John: "Not to the same degree - we want to give you the freedom to play your Rook differently depending on who they're talking to (you might be kinder to your companions and brusque with authority figures, for example), but your tone choices will have an impact within a conversation and, sometimes, with specific characters across multiple conversations." --- User: "I have to ask: how muscular can we make the elves?" John: "Reasonably so. You won't be making any massive bodybuilders but like... Timothy Olyphant?" User: "As a follow up what about humans and qunari? Quite muscular a la arnold or big viking type? Or not so much that lvl?" John: "Larger lineages (Qunari, esp) are bigger by default so the upper bounds are going to be bigger, but for modeling and animation we did want to put some limits on it. But your Rook can look pretty reasonably muscled, regardless of lineage choice." --- User: "Are there any time-sensitive quests (in terms of gameplay time, that will fail automatically if not addressed in a timely manner), and if there are please tell me they're at least indicated as such in some way?" John: "There are quests that can go away and technically 'fail' if you don't address them - but, to be VERY clear, this is not an in-game timer, but rather as you progress the game's story forward. That said, we do try to sign post them as much as possible." --- User: "Does Rook ever get the choice to cuss?" John: "Yes. You'll know when you're doing it, and we leave it up to you to make the choice, but sometimes, cursing is exactly what the situation demands."

[character limit text break!]

User: "Does the bioware team read the other channels and if so do they think we're unhinged or endearing?" John: "Little of column A, little of column B. But I mean, I've been online for 27 years, the internet has ruined me as much as anyone." --- User: "all the Rooks we've seen so far are wearing purple, please tell me we dont have to wear purple" John: "Everyone else can wear whatever colour they want but you, specifically, must always wear purple." --- User: "All the games have had unique faction symbols for our protagonist (Warden, Champion of Kirkwall, Inquisition) I assume there will be one for the Veilguard Will the symbol for it get released before the game or is this something that will be revealed in-game/after it’s launched?" John: "Every faction has their own symbol - including the Veilguard themselves! You may have noticed it in some of the art out there." --- John: "As a general comment - one thing I want to be super clear on - even as creative director there are things I can say, and things we're not ready to talk about. I'd rather spend my time answering what I can instead of a dozen 'sorry I can't talk about that yet' - especially since this channel is on slow mode." --- User: "There are blood effects in combat after Rook hits an enemy. And I think a developer shared images of the blood effects on hit after the reveal. Will characters be covered in blood or other environmental effects? Like getting wet from walking in puddles or muddy from running on dirt?" John: "There are environmental effects that persist on characters, depending on the environment you're traversing. They're subtle, but they're there!" --- User: "how many tattoos can we choose from? are there also full bodied ones too?" John: "I don't know the exact number, but there are quite a few. Some are full body as well, though you have control over colours and opacity on a more granular basis."

[character limit text break!]

User: "Of the zones/areas revealed what was the most challenging to design?" John: "Each has its own unique challenges. Arlathan seems simple because - well, it's a forest, right? But what about Arlathan makes it different than places you've been before? How does it fit into the established lore? Minrathous is a different kettle of fish because we've talked about it extensively and in a way that meant it HAD to be grander and more impressive than anything we've built before, which can be a tall order. The team did a fantastic job on all the areas, though." --- User: "which faction has the best fashion, in your opinion?" John: "Crows. Largely because 'black leather and feathers' isn't a look I could pull off in the real world but I am glad my Rook can." --- John: "Alright folks. I've gotta head back to work, but please keep asking questions and I'll answer what I can as soon as I can!"

[source: the official BioWare Discord]

There was also this question and answer:

User: "Can we name our saves like in Origins?" John: "I had to double check because I was about 95% sure on the answer, but also, I've been on this project for its entirety and sometimes I remember features that we had to cut (or never actually built) - yes. You can name your saves to reduce confusion."

but the answer may have now been deleted.

[writingquestionsanswered]

So, I often find myself writing and it simply turns out… bland. I do try to remember to show my readers rather than tell, but I feel like I cannot consistently do that, and it feels forced. I try to focus on environment, internal feelings and such, but I wonder if I have an incorrect ratio of sorts… essentially, my question is for the average paragraph (let’s say not including any dialogue), how much should be descriptive of the environment and how much should be the characters thoughts and actions?

Writing Feels Forced or Bland

There isn't a formula or average for how much of the exposition in an average paragraph should be character thought and action vs description of the environment.

Your story overall should have a relative balance of exposition (explaining things--including character thought, backstory, and environment), action (characters doing things), and dialogue (characters talking.) It's not going to be an exact balance (hence the term "relative balance"), but you wouldn't want 5% dialogue, 30% action, and 65% exposition, for example, because that's not a relative balance. But, you could have 25% dialogue, 35% exposition, and 40% action if that's what works for your story.

This "balance" can't be applied to a single sentence, paragraph, scene, or chapter, because it's always going to be different. You'll have some sentences, paragraphs, scenes, or chapters that have a bigger balance of one or the others depending on the needs of the story. For example, the climax will probably be heavier on action and exposition than dialogue. Unless your climax is a huge verbal fight, in which case it will probably be heavier on dialogue and exposition than action.

When your writing feels bland or forced despite trying to include a relative balance of exposition, dialogue, and action... trying not to rely on telling rather than showing, and using description to flesh out the environment, the problem isn't with any of that, probably, but either with your expectations or with the story itself.

This is why it's so, so important for writers to also be readers... and yes, that does include listening to audiobooks and reading fan-fiction and short stories. Consuming story in any format is also important... because it's through reading and consuming stories that you can begin to understand how they work. You can read writing advice that says "show, don't tell" or "use description to flesh out the environment," but you can't really know what that means until you see it in action in a variety of different stories. Your expectations will be off because you haven't seen how it actually works.

And if you're an avid reader and know how stories work, and understand the overall relative balance between exposition, action, and dialogue needed to tell a story, and you still feel like it feels bland or forced, it could be an issue with the story itself. Relative balance between exposition, action, and dialogue isn't going to help if you don't have a plot that is compelling and cohesive... and if you don't have well fleshed out characters with a logical motivation, goal, and internal conflict to help drive the story forward.

You might take a spin through my Plot & Story Structure master list of posts, as well as my Character Development master list of posts for more help with individual issues on those points.

I hope this helps!!! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[hosseinis]

hello!! I really hope this isn't a rude question, bc I'm genuinely curious. I've been wondering for a while now why people who make gifs from a movie or a show or whatever get upset when somebody else uses the gif in something or want credit for it. Is the process difficult? I'm not 100% how to make a gif but I can't imagine it being that arduous. Anyway like I said not trying to be rude have a good day :D

hey there! it's not a rude question if only because you're asking in the first place instead of just discrediting it.

the thing a lot of people don't understand is how much work actually goes into making a gif, because we don't just plug the video into a gifmaking program and call it a day. a lot of us start JUST with the process of pirating the highest quality video we can find, which can be anywhere from an hour or two of downloading to days at a time (my record is five days for all five seasons of the a-team, but that's a story for another day)

so there's already at least a few hours potentially, just from downloading. granted, we do other things obviously but that's still time that's going into the process.

so you have to download those videos, find the clip you want, and then there are several different methods of getting the clip into whatever program you use (i use photoshop). most of the time i have to reformat the video from .mkv to .mp4, because PS doesn't take .mkv but the highest quality videos are typically in that format. so i put that into a reformatting program, which can take at least another hour depending on how long the file is.

so i've finally got the file ready to go in photoshop, and then i can actually start working on the gif itself. i've now spent at MINIMUM two or three hours just getting this video ready. then i personally clip it down to the exact scene i want it and go from there. if you're just doing a random assortment of scenes, you can choose whatever you want. but if you're doing a scene itself, you have to clip that scene in bursts so you can add the subtitles based off the mouth-movement.

so say you're doing a gifset of your favorite character from a tv show. well, you don't want to just have all of the gifs come from the same episode. so you do the reformatting process all over again. more hours. you do that eight or nine or ten times until you have all the scenes you want. and THEN you can start the actual editing process.

what size should it be depending on what kind of gifset you want to do? 540x540? 540x405? do you just crop it first or should you resize it? the resolution might go down depending on how you resize it. do you know what smart sharpen is, and which levels you should have it on in order to make the scene look the best? what's a smart object? what percentage should your frame rate be so it doesn't look too fast? it's completely different between live action and animation, after all. do you know which colors you should use in the adjustment layers, like selective color? does levels or curves work better for what you're trying to do? how do i get rid of the yellow in this scene so it matches the other gifs? what's the difference between linear contrast and medium contrast? should you use exposure or vibrance to get the shadows you want?

you've done all that, it looks good! you go to export it as a proper gif so you can post it to tumblr. but don't forget your settings on that either! transparency dither, web snap, the amount of colors and what size it should be. you do all that and the gif ends up being over the 10mb limit. so now you have to go back and carefully chip away at the frames until it's under the limit, which means you ultimately have to choose what to sacrifice from that scene so you can properly export it.

so you try again. okay, it's on 9.7MB. that's going to read as 10MB on tumblr. back in you go to chip at it again until it's going to read as 9MB instead. finally. you export the gif, add it to tumblr, and then tumblr doesn't like how it looks when you import it and destroys the quality, so you have to go back and try different export settings until it looks the way you want it.

so you do that nine more times. The Entire Process. downloading and reformatting the .mkv, getting the scene you want, clipping it, resizing and cropping it, coloring it, exporting it, and if you're adding subtitles then it's an entirely new process to add on! and don't forget that if you're doing a mix of scenes, you have to color them all depending on their own lighting, so you're basically doing the process again from scratch.

then you try to think of a fun caption. maybe you want to choose a line you feel best summarizes the character or scene. you put that caption through an HTML formatting program so it can be a gradient (the easiest part!), make the caption look pretty, and then tag it and press send.

you've spent HOURS on this process. literal fucking hours. you've been learning how to carefully manipulate the colors to look good, you know what frame rate looks the best, you have all of your settings saved as .psds.

and then someone right clicks, saves the gif (or just copies it) and posts it to twitter with their own funny little caption.

they get 26k likes, who knows how many retweets, a bunch of new follows. they get all the attention for that gif when they put zero work into it. all they did was write a caption and press send.

you got 400 likes and 165 reblogs on your gifset over on tumblr. maybe you get some tags on it if you're really lucky.

so tell me. wouldn't you be a little frustrated, too?

and just in case anyone wants to try and tell me this doesn't happen, you're welcome to compare the stats on this gifset of godzilla versus the repost on twitter.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I’m fascinated by the previous ask’s mention of anime “or the Vulcan equivalent” since anime is literally just Japanese animation would Vulcan animation have a distinctive enough style to warrant a distinct name? What is the Vulcan cultures’ views on animation as an art form (in your opinion).

I don't know enough about animation or art as like an evolving discipline as it relates to society/culture to say much about it in an intelligent way but the newest Dungeon Meshi Extra makes me think about it in a purely 'what would be fun' way

Vulcans also have an incredibly long lifespan so it'd be funny if Vulcans were used to listening to stories that are much longer than other species. [See: Tuvok singing his children a 348 verse story as a lullaby and his children loving it]

You know those soap operas that go on for like decades? Vulcan soap operas are going on for CENTURIES.

I think a lot of the most popular stories on Vulcan center around enlightment or war. In fact I think a lot of Vulcan is probably dedicated to those topics - I headcanon that there are multiple museums and monuments about the many wars Vulcan fought with a heavy emphasis on the great toll it took on their people and how awful these actions were. They almost blew up everything with nukes! But then logic saved them...I believe this is also a common thread in stories that aren't about war - being saved by logic. A woman almost falls for charlatan...but logic saves her. A man almost kills his brother...but logic stills his hand. Etc Etc. A Vulcan author could probably write thousands of books in their lifetime, depending on the age they started. I think having an author with hundreds of books is fairly common and Vulcans are often a bit anxious about reading very good authors of other species...what if they die before they finish writing?? Television shows having like 40 seasons isn't that rare and I think their method of storytelling would probably have to differ from ours in order to facilitate that. That's interesting, isn't it?? I wonder about Vulcan media that isn't Surak's teachings. Like, Tuvok says he likes to read - what's he read about? In 'Riddles' Neelix mentions a "Proto-Vulcan Drama" called 'Clash on the Fire Plains' which has 23 parts. Tuvok apparently has this in book form in his quarters but he's often reading things off his PADD which I assume are also Vulcan literature. It seems that a lot of Vulcan stories we hear about are meant to teach some sort of lesson even if they are also entertaining. When it comes to ongoing media (EX: Television show) I think they'd probably follow a series of arcs and situations with the same characters learning and growing. If you start watching season 82 of a Vulcan program then go back to season 7 it's like a whole new set of characters but they just changed because of their experiences. (As your Vulcan friend will rant to you). It gets a bit ridiculous but it's a bit fun too~ I headcanon that Vulcans in Starfleet will often get together to watch popular Vulcan tv shows' new episodes...alleviates some missing home. Others join in and soon we're seeing tv shows from all over the universe! Surprisingly, Vulcan and Klingon programs are fairly similar in the aspect of 'a lot of battle focused shows which teach lessons' but the exact lessons differ, of course. Oh I bet Vulcan tv shows would also have so much intrigue and drama about clans and marriage and propriety etc which Klingons would love. Klingon: So T'Eyanra is going off with Sarun? Even though she was made aware that Sertik is ill and might be plagued with fever? Vulcan: Yes. And do not forget - Sarun's clan changed the water rights of her own, though she does not know this yet. Klingon: -settling in- Sarun's clan is without honor! That knave... -gasp- and the Ektinslahrah ritual is tonight! Vulcan: -also settling in- Indeed. Oh god this was about anime wasn't it? Well just apply all that stuff I said to anime somehow...Vulcan anime is like one piece's length and death note's complexity but with a shocking amount of painstaking slice of life. I think animation would be taken as seriously on Vulcan as it is on Earth - I can't think of anything that'd make them take it more or less seriously? I picture Betazoid animation would have a heavy emphasis on showing feeling though - like visibly as an ever present cloud behind the characters' heads and you have to know what all the colors mean.

[androgymagnus]

ohhh my god speaking of house md and brilliant minds comparisons. yikes. like. okay. i understand why people try to start with this. i truly do. i think if you're trying to communicate something you like about the show to someone who hasn't seen it, and you do that by relating it to a very popular medical drama, that's like. i get why you're doing that. but while there's a pretty good common thread here (ie, medical drama starring disabled doctor who will do anything to help his patients and his gaggle of diverse interns) it's.... largely surface level and reductive, because these are two very different shows other than that little logline.

like, their disabilities and how they're handled and what they mean to their characters and how they handle them are very different. (SO different i'm not even gonna get into it. but they serve different purposes you know?) the tone of the whole show is different--my god is the tone different. the shows are actively trying to do different things.

and like (this one deserves its own line) while i personally believe house is very empathetic and cares about his patients under All That, uh, All That still exists, and does not excuse any kindness he might have under All That, and All That is still a problem (ie yes he will go to any lengths to cure his patient but he will also call them and their whole family slurs. blah blah blah complex character motivations and trauma the effect is still bad no matter the cause) and anyway, that's just what i think from his characterization, generally, he is still incredibly rude and caustic and you could certainly argue for the reading that he actually cares about the puzzle, not the patient. and even if you, like me, believe he deeply cares about his patients even when he doesn't want to, he still largely focuses far more on their literal health than their feelings or lived experience in the hospital. he'll save your life but he'll be a dick the whole time. he'll make patients cry and not really care. meanwhile dr wolf cares about his patient's lived experiences, how they feel, not just their literal physical health. that is literally his entire approach: getting to know them as people, treating them with kindness and understanding when other doctors have brushed over them or signed them off as a lost cause. rather than any kindness/empathy being subtext or shown through certain actions, it's the text.

now, i'm not saying this makes dr wolf a better character than house (a better person, perhaps!) or even a more complex character, since again. they are very different characters serving very different purposes. house is a deeply fucked up little man dealing with very bad chronic pain, childhood trauma, probably repressed bisexuality but let's not go there, etc., and he lashes out. he's a complex character, he's sympathetic but not a victim, he's an asshole but often you like him anyway. wolf is serving a different purpose as a character--i'd say his speech about harold in the first episode really speaks to it. like. he cares, about things other doctors don't, that even house probably wouldn't (depending on the episode and season probably). he's got his own backstory, albeit one we don't know all of yet, that plays into how he interacts with people now and why he is the way he is.

like. agh. gestures frusturatedly. there are interesting contrasts one could make here between these two characters (for example: if we buy that house is deeply empathetic, he deals with this by not wanting to get attached to patients at all, refusing to see them directly, and treating them like puzzles, because when he does see them as a person it hurts more when they die; meanwhile dr wolf does the exact opposite and loathes the idea of seeing patients as their diseases, as a puzzle, but as a consequence gets maybe even too attached every single time, which, while admirable, can lead to burnout or just, you know, getting fired or being a bit single-minded with blinders on trying to save them), but ultimately, it's kind of apples and oranges (that previous parenthetical is fun and all but they have very different backstories and motivations and context and that's kind of just isolating one thing, you know?) and seeing people uncritically compare the two is at least mildly irksome. they have, again, wildly different backstories and motivations.

these shows are trying to do different things! neither one of them is better than the other (i think i'm enjoying brilliant minds more personally, although with only seven episodes out to house's eight seasons i think it's a bit of an unfair judgment to try and make objectively as of yet) because they are trying to do different things. they just happen to be medical dramas about a doctor who will do anything to cure their patient, which is, when you think about it, a very broad category. you could throw in 'and he's disabled!' but let's be real, their disabilities (and how they're handled and interact with the plot) are very different.

the point is, i understand why people make this comparison but i think it's a little reductive and misguided. but at the same time like, i get it, trying to get across something in an easy to understand way when you're trying to convince someone to watch the show, just--don't go giving them the wrong impression! if someone goes into brilliant minds expecting house md, and they like different things about that show than you did, they're gonna end up being disappointed

anyway, disorganized ramble: end. hope it somewhat made sense

[bestworstcase]

penny was the winter maiden for two days.

ozma has been reincarnating for centuries, if not thousands of years.

assuming that the maiden cycle depends on the exact same metaphysical process (which is in itself textually uncertain, given that the maidens are non-conscious entities said to separate from the host’s aura at death and cleave to another whereas ozma’s reincarnation works by combination of his aura with another—as described, these are explicitly different mechanisms, and because the different outcome of the two cycles (one overwrites the host, one doesn’t) are explained by this difference in mechanism, i see no real reason to question the overtly-stated differences in what is happening when a maiden finds a new host vs when ozma is bound to one), the notion that penny could have—in two days—achieved some mastery over the reincarnation process that has eluded ozma for, again, thousands of years, is… nonsense?

it’s the most grasping-at-straws out of a lot of very straw-grasping penny 3.0 theories and the premise is, more or less, “ozma has been needlessly murdering his hosts for thousands of years because he’s too stupid to realize that he doesn’t have to do that.”

when like. ok. listen to me.

in the lost fable, ozma takes control within seconds of landing in the new guy’s head. he’s not able to answer the question “what’s your name,” because he doesn’t know. jinn talks about ozma traveling for years before seeking out salem. he’s with her for years; they found a kingdom and have children. through all of this time, there is nothing to suggest that ozma has another presence in his head—until his reflection speaks to him, and he physically recoils in pure shock.

i think, when this began, there was no “merge.” ozma just landed in someone’s head and erased them, almost completely, right away.

in v8, oscar says he doesn’t like using magic because it makes the “merge” happen faster, and oz answers “i don’t blame you.”

many lifetimes ago, ozma either divided his magic or carved the divine blessings out of his soul and gave them to four young women who had helped him. the maidens persist as non-conscious entities who confer magical powers upon their host without, in any way, corrupting or taking over the host consciousness. meanwhile oscar is still holding on—by his fingernails, perhaps, but he’s still alive and himself—and he feels that using magic erodes him faster.

do the math.

at some point, ozma worked out that the divine magic he carried was killing his hosts, leaving behind just a reflection that monitored him to keep him in line. so he tried to get rid of it, by giving portions of that magic away, and it worked, even if not to the extent he might have hoped. the maidens are ozma’s best effort at sparing the lives of his hosts.

(reading between the lines of how oz phrases it to the kids—“i reincarnate, but my memories stay with me”—in combination with his obvious projection of his own suicidality onto salem? i’d bet that ozma was hoping to destroy his own consciousness when he did this, too, so that his future hosts would receive his remaining powers and inherit the task but not him.)

it’s a mistake to look at the resigned acceptance ozpin has now and assume that it’s representative of how ozma has always felt about his curse; the whole point of him as a character is that he’s been ground down and slowly corrupted in the gristmill of this curse over thousands of years.

and it’s also, frankly, a mistake to take penny clocking blake as a faunus because she saw blake’s ears through the bow in infrared or penny figuring out that ruby can carry people with her semblance after 1. ruby flew with penny in volume two and 2. several months of ruby demonstrating abilities in training that she’s been doing since v4 without consciously registering that she’s doing them, like splitting to go around obstacles, to mean that penny is uniquely insightful or good at “figuring things out” in general. she has superhuman sensory capabilities (infrared vision, aura-scanning) that give her an advantage in perception of certain situations, and she’s fairly book-smart.

that doesn’t make her capable of solving ozma’s Divine Curse after sitting with the maiden powers for Two Days in a war zone. lmfao

[the-butterbun]

Hello. I’m glad you like my descriptions for your TMA Tarot.

They are very basic for cards. Mostly just enough to get a message.

But given each Tarot deck is personal to the images they use, I might eventually have time to really go into depth of cards meaning. I have 5 decks myself, and though messages can be the same, the way they are presented are different depending on the cards images.

(Example being my Arcana Deck’s star is very big into hope and courage. As the person who represents it is these things. But my Vampire Deck’s Star is more about the determination and desire of hope than the feeling of it.)

So for your deck I’d be going into more about how the Star and The Dark go hand in hand. Your deck would talk more about the facing of darkness rather than the hope the Star invokes. And would give more messages to the reader that, say reversed, means they are in despair.

So say they got Strength and The Star reversed, the reading would indicate they are in despair and fear, the darkness is about to consume them, and Strength would tell them to face the Dark with calmness and resolve. Invoking in a way two beings, to face the fear of The Dark you must embrace the strength of The Hunt.

I hope this gives you an idea of why I adore Tarot Deck’s that are stylized to certain fandoms. Because though the meaning of the cards are roughly the same, the way they are presented and told to the reader is very different depending on the art and/or fandom they are based in.

Sorry for this info dump, I wish you well with your exams and your project. Dont feel any pressure to continue it, doing 72 cards with 22 of them being heavy stylized as Major Arcane is not easy. (Not to mention the 16 Court Cards.)

((Dude!! The Court Cards could easily be the 14 fears with the Magnus Institute and its Underground being the last two))

Ah, sorry getting carried away with this ‘ask’. Again good luck and hope everything goes well!

I absolutely love your descriptions for the tma tarot cards I drew!

I don't have a lot of practice with more flowery/metaphorical language. Seeing your proposals for the card meanings really sparked up my drive for this project once again. I can go in depth about my reasonings and analysis but poetic prose is a whole other ball park.

The fact that I don't actually have a lot of experience with tarot is also certainly a factor. at the beginning I had trouble matching characters with their cards since all decks are different but that is also the beaty of tarot I learned!

Here's the whole list of the Major Arcana matches so far (keep in mind these might still change, some of theses matches I am more attached to than others)! I paired up all these cards a few months ago so atm am a bit fuzzy on my exact thought process but I made it a point to give each fear AT LEAST one card of the Major Arcana (including the extinction). I have not done the Courts as of yet and probably won't for a while.

0 - the fool - Micheal Shelly

1 - the magician - Anabelle Cain

2 - the high priestess - Melanie King/Helen Richardson (I'm still split on this one)

3 - the empress - Gertrude Robinson

4 - the emperor - Jonah Magnus/Elias Bouchard

5 - the hierophant - Raymond Fielding

6 - the lovers - Agnes Montague and Jack Barnabas

7 - the chariot - Julia Montauk and Trevor Herbert

8 - strength - Daisy Tonner and Badura Hussain

9 - the hermit - Martin Blackwood

10 - wheel of fortune - Georgie Barker and Oliver Banks

11 - Justice - Peter Lukas

12 - the hanged man - Jonathan Sims

13 - death - Gerry Keay

14 - temperance - Jared Hopworth

15 - the devil - Nikola Orsinov

16 - the tower - Micheal Crew

17 - the star - Manuela Dominguez

18 - the moon - Gary Boylen

19 - the sun - Jane Prentis

20 - judgement - Hazekiah Wakely

21 - the world - Simon fairchild

I have my in depth notes on these somewhere in my journal so if anyone's interested I can go in depth on each card, why I chose who I chose as well as alternative candidates :)

PS.: Actually I should probably check out the Courts before I finalize these matches. who knows maybe I'll find better ones and push off some of the Eye servants over there I mean I love them dearly but also this deck is VERY heavily Eye stacked. the 'one card per fear minimum rule' definitely stays regardless

PSS.: (god I can't even even fit them all in the tags, my pookies...)

[genderqueerdykes]

Okay so isk if this is smth to ask u or like someone else but honestly its open to anyone willing to interact with this post but

Is it weird for someone to write a queer story even if it isn't *exactly* their experience?

For context: I'm writing a story about an AMAB individual who (after moving back to their hometown after years of travelling with their mother) reunites with an old friend and finds that her friend group is predominantly queer. After a while of interacting with them and getting to learn about queerness in depth for quite possibly the first time in her life they realise that they might not actually feel like a boy.

The story revolves a lot around queer joy and queer POC characters and what some people consider 'weird' queers (neopronouns, complex identities etc, cause I am basing this off of some of mine and some friends experiences) and stuff and has a fairly happy ending (cause i feel like there should be more stories about POC kids being accepted not just by their friends but also their parents)

I am however AFAB Nonbinary and ik that experiences are different depending on birth sex and all of that and this is partially based off some of my other friends experiences as well - and I was wondering if that's just like odd? Like I wanna do research and ask my own friends (because i feel like some of them could've really benefited from a story like this) but i do know that some people r kinda weird about it if it isn't written by someone who has personally experienced it in the exact same way.

i would say that's not weird!

in order to break down the preconceptions we have of other groups of people, we must try to see life from their situation. speculation won't be perfect, but being a sympathetic ear helps you hear other people's experiences, and how they are similar, but different to yours! i would say as long as you take enough time to research and read the experiences of those particular groups of people from their own mouths, you can include that sort of thing in your writing

also keep in mind, when writing about an identity you're not 100% sure on, you are allowed to not go super in-depth about the struggles and politics of that person's existence. you can choose to not go too deep into someone's gender, intersex condition, sexuality or lack there of, and so on. you can represent without having to try to speculate on what it's like down to brass tacks. that can be left to the people who live with those identities!

that's when our voices need to be uplifted- in cases where we are showing the very finer innerworkings of life as that identity. we are the experts, so you can leave that to us. you can write in a more casual manner in a sense that it's okay to go more in depth into the situations you are familiar with, and choose to not speculate way too hard on something you're not familiar with

good luck! i hope this helps, take care

[nevermoreconfessions]

Prospero is my favorite character for many reasons and one of those is the fact he's from the first work of Edgar Allan Poe I read, therefore it has a special place in my heart. Having said that, his spectre disappoints me, AT THE TIME. It's true I don't know what the authors have in store but thus far, his spectre lacks severely to me. Spoilers for Masque of Red Death ahead, but he's based off of a story where a Prince hides away from a plague that torments his land until that "Red Death" enters the castle and follows him through a series of colored rooms, each one representing different things depending on how you read it. His spectre is not giving me any of that. It's a generic plague doctor with a staff as his most "unique" design choice. It tells me he lived through A plague but it doesn't tell me anything else from him just by looking at it on top of it being the weakest in terms of flare. Even Will's has more flare and that's...saying a lot. I trust that eventually the design might... make more sense to me and it might go through changes but as of right now, it's the most boring to me and that's a shame because I adore Prospero and anything related to him but I couldn't honestly say his Spectre is my favorite when it doesn't even look like anything more than a regular plague doctor... Especially since the staff is easy to miss or just doesn't add much. The rats could be a bonus too, but rats weren't really much of an element in the story either....

PS: I really don't mean this as hate or harsh criticism, it's just an observation and a mild hope someone sheds a new perspective on this that maybe I missed?

Can I call you PoeAnon? I'm calling you PoeAnon.

Oh, PoeAnon. How I love you, because this is what critique looks like. And you know what? I get what you're coming from. In a way, I actually agree.

Dear PoeAnon, here's what Prospero's design and abilities tell me, in regards to who he is and how he died —

Let's start with the whole Plague Doctor thing he's got going on. Personally, I love a good plague doctor, and I do think that the spectre could've used a little extra pizazz; but, here's where that design gets truly interesting —

The rats.

Yes, those damned rats. Let me explain.

It tells a great amount of how he died! Did you know that the Plague was spread by rats (then, fleas)? Apparently, the Catholic church was like, "Deport those cats, they're evil," and rats ran wild, spreading the plague like wildfire — the plague subsequently hit Italy, where Prospero is said to be from.

So, to me, it appears that Prospero died of the Plague in Italy, where he might have worked as a doctor in efforts to treat said plague. Or, he was the patient. (I think he was the patient who either died of the plague, or in surgery.)

To emhasize that he died of the plague, let's talk about the poem for a moment. The "Red Death" is a fictional disease that causes "bleeding at the pores."

Prospero is known to have a fear of blood — he gets queasy seeing his own blood, to be exact. Fits well, right?

I'll admit — I don't really understand the bat wings or the hourglass symbols on his staff.

I'll assume that the hourglass symbolizes death — namely, "running out of time," because getting the plague back then meant that you were counting your days. The bat wings stump me, though I assume it's because bats can carry some pretty serious diseases, too.

All this to say: I do like Prospero's spectre. As I said, I have a soft spot for Plague doctors, though I do understand that desire for more.

I wish I had more to go off of, too. But it's still a neat design, in my opinion! It's a classic, honestly.

What do you think, Nevermore tumblr?

[jazzy-art-time]

So how does being pokemon factor then?

Well! To be completely honest with you, it does not.

Yeah JarbleAU is a AU of all my main askblog characters throughout the years, which are pokemon but in all honesty it barely connects to pokemon at all

I use Pokemon more as a blank canvas as a species. Because I like how pokemon look! "That's weird Jazzy" yeah it is I don't care. I like the way a arcanine looks and if I draw one and label it as a "dog" it would just get compared to a arcanine ANYWAYS so why bother at that point? IM not bothered to say "this is a leafeon" and if it bothers someone else then well that just.. merely is not my issue. It's why I don't tag JarbleAU stuff as normal pokemon! At most I tag it as "anthro pokemon" because it still fits into that category technically. but as for how it fits into the AU itself? Not much really!! I may add some like. "quirks" in different ways. For example: Eden, Alaxia and Wem are mew. In Jarble, they cannot levitate. They cant read your mind etc etc. They aren't even considered godly or mythical beings. HOWEVER. Someone like them are more likely to "read someone better". They can look at you and pretty easily tell what kind of person you are based on little interaction. Etc etc. But also that depends on the person. Someone like Wem would be extremely good at figuring someone out quickly, while someone like Alaxia would struggle to. Or someone who is a grass type might be more inclined to be more connected to nature or something etc etc Or Jody in Jarble is a Arcanine. She can't shoot fire but when she uses her weapons they tend to overheat and burn, have fire effects etc etc. As well as she just "runs hot" and tends to overheat herself a fair amount during summer. She's oddly warm during winter etc etc. Its not a EXACT science really and some rules are twisted and bended around to fit my story needs. But like nobody is casually going to use watergun here lmao Overall its more or less irrelevant to the storyline and I just treat them as magical furries! I COULD make them a more original species but to be fair? 90% of them barely look like pokemon anyways so I am not sweating over it. As well as certain pokemon merely do not exist within JarbleAU. I don't allow them to exist as NPCs or what have you and they are only strictly regulated to certain things. I can elaborate more on anything in specific if needed, but mostly the fact that they are "pokemon" is just more or less a afterthought lmao

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTE; Gideon Nav propaganda below Narrator's, as poll maker decided to cut some under Read More for post length

The Narrator Propaganda:

Just... Just listen to the "unfunny" clip, what's more to say, vote for the gay old guy

Depending on the ending, he can be

Spoilers I guess??? He's always trying to guide Stanley to the outcome HE wants, which is a very, very small chunk of the game where the player just obeys everything and doesn't experience anything else. Obeying Narrator to a T will win you the "Freedom" ending, where Stanley can finally leave the office building, and Narrator will wax on about how Stanley's "happy" and "finally free to live at last". ...exceeeept, on completion, Stanley will spawn right back in the building as though nothing happened, restarting the adventure all over again. The truth is that Stanley will never be free, regardless of what the Narrator says. Stanley is trapped in the building and will stay trapped no matter what. This truth can only be acknowledged if you're defiant, and even then, I may be mistaken but I'm pretty sure the Narrator never fully admits this??? The museum ending has a WHOLE DIFFERENT narrator explain their mutually fucked circumstances. The dishonest factors can increase in other ways from the player's input (for example, the Narrator might say "Stanley walked through the left door", but the player can use their input to defy this statement and go through the right one instead, therefore making the Narrator's statement inherently dishonest and the Narrator will get pissy about it, changing the outcome for that path). Sometimes he'll misdirect when he's petulant, especially if the player is directly defying his instructions, which makes the game feel like a game of tug-rope for control at points. I want to say there are times where he directly attempts to trick the player but admittedly I can't think of an exact instance. Plus you know, the Narrator has a large ego and always talks big about things like his importance and integrity and whatnot so who knows how much of that is even sincere and how much is a sad veneer, but that's getting into overanalysis territory and my fingers hurt so let's leave this here. I hope this was coherent.

he quite literally rewrites the story whenever he has issues with the direction stanley starts to go in, i do not know how to explain it better than that

He is literally the narrator, and he constantly tries to mislead and lie to Stanley through the narration to get him back on the story’s proper path

He constantly narrates what Stanley is feeling as if it is the truth, when it is not. He speaks as a authority, and while he is one, he is definitely not reliable.

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of ��oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[arcadekitten]

Hi! I have a question

In the mary and reginald aquarium scene, how are there pinguin, fish, etc? I mean aren't those noisrevians that transformed into their animal forms? Sorry I am just so confused right now

(Sorry if It is a bit confusing I am not really good at English and I don't really know how to explain it)

I know it's a bit confusing!! And people have asked me similar questions in the past, but I think now that I have at least one game each as an example I can explain it more clearly--so I will try to explain it as best I can. (Apologies in advanced for the long read!)

"Noisrev" is the name of the planet my characters exist on, and characters from Noisrev are called "Noisrevians" similar to how we would be called "Earthlings". However, Noisrev takes various different forms with slightly differing lore across all my games, hence why I call my works part of the "noisrev-verse".

The majority of Noisrevians are animals with human forms, who can shapeshift in and out of these forms. However, this changes depending on the game/work they're used in. I will put the 3 main types of "Noisrev" I use in my work in a numbered list below, but know that the order they appear in doesn't signify importance.

This version of Noisrev is one where, even though the people are still anthropomorphized versions of animals, many of the people don't seem to realize this and many of their abilities are latent(like fish people not being able to breathe underwater). These abilities may very well still exist, but it is as if the people have unconsciously forgotten what they really are. This is the version of Noisrev that exists in games like Cemetery Mary, where Mary describes herself as feeling a connection to manta rays while not acknowledging that she is one. They may acknowledge the presence of animal features on some characters like Zapara's ears or Theo's horns, but they'd only describe these characters as being "a wolf-like girl" and "a bull-like guy" and not acknowledge them as actually BEING a wolf or a bull. This is also the kind of Noisrev that exists in a game like Here For Sweethearts, where the protag describes characters as being "like" things like turtles and dogs, but not saying that they are one. "Normal" animals still exist and are regarded the same way they are in our world, which is why Mary and Reggie were able to go to an aquarium or why Mary had a pet tarantula in the past. ===

This version of Noisrev is one where Noisrevians know exactly what kind of animals they are, and can even shapeshift in-and-out of human form, but "normal" animals also still exist. I describe this version of Noisrev as being very similar to a Disney Cartoon, where Goofy is a dog and can walk and talk, but Pluto is also a dog and is only a pet. It's like that! This version of Noisrev is one where games like Crowscare and Blackout Hospital take place. In Crowscare, when Ryo talks to Ingram for the first time, Ryo acknowledges that Ingram being a talking bird is a bit surprising to him--but that he's also met plenty of people like Ingram before. In Blackout Hospital, Mary flat out calls Vasilis a deer instead of just saying they are like one. However, there are also references to "normal" animals such as therapy dogs that function the exact same way they do in the real world. ===

This version of Noisrev is one where Noisrevians know exactly what kind of animals they are, and can shapeshift in-and-out of human form, but "normal" animals do not exist. Noisrevian animals are the ONLY types of animals to exist, meaning that every single animal is also a person that can shapeshift. The role of real-world "normal" animals is taken over by "monsters/beasts" in their world. This is the version that exists in Semiaquatic Circus(and to an extent, Sweet No Death). Savannah is not a lion-tamer. She IS a lion who is a beast-tamer. This is the version of Noisrev that Noisrev was originally conceptualized as (and also my favorite). For this reason, you might occasionally hear me refer to this version of Noisrev as "Noisrev Proper". It's the way that Noisrev is technically "supposed" to be. === I hope this helps clear things up a little bit and that it's not too confusing!! ^^"

[wellhalesbells]

Best of 2024 - Q1(ish)

✨✨ I forgot I told myself I was going to start doing this this year. A few people I follow do kind of a 'best of' thing and since I forget everything that happens almost immediately I thought: hey, that's a good idea for you, you should do that. So here I am with it sorta on time-ish \o/ ✨✨

Books

The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden. I tend to go into books with very little to no idea of what they're about (on purpose) so absolutely everything here was a surprise in the very best way. If I could've directed it, I would've directed it in exactly this way!

Voyage of the Damned, Frances White. This was such a lovely surprise?? I'm really enjoying these cross-genre books and this has to be the one that absolutely nailed both the best. It's a fantasy murder mystery and both are very involved - the world-building is excellent and the murder mystery is fun and terrifying in the best way!

Remarkably Bright Creatures, Shelby Van Pelt. I love books that like people, that prize connection, and that want to build community. Basically books that remind me that people are generally good and willing to try and that's this! Plus: octopus!

Empire of the Damned, Jay Kristoff. Empire of the Vampire was one of my favorite reads in 2022 (when I read it) and the sequel definitely lived up to its predecessor. The story is so compelling and the characters are so impossible not to fall in love with. Happily, this did not suffer from middle book syndrome: so much happened and so much moved forward.

Dinner on Monster Island, Tania de Rozario. I took this out at the library on a whim - it was available and it had a cool cover so I was in. I learned so much. I knew next to nothing about Singapore so everything to do with that blew my mind and Tania de Rozario's voice is wonderful, not to mention she connects so much of her life and surroundings to horror movies and that is a touchstone that I have in spades.

I should also special mention Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones, which I adored.... though it did completely ruin the movie for me (which I had also never seen and watched a few days later), haha. Sophie is the catalyst for absolutely every single thing that happens in the book and Howl is useless and dramatic without her and to see her be so very ineffectual in the film (and have things that happened because of her be taken away from her) while Howl was so powerful was like.... wha??? It was beautiful animation but... yeah. And Stardust by Neil Gaiman, which was so enjoyable! It has that irreverent, this-might-as-well happen humor that I love in fantasies.

Comics/Mangas/Manhwas/Etc.

On of Off, Vols. 1-3, by A1. Um. Can I just say that I love when one of the characters in a queer couple is a big huge dude? I don't know, a few years ago a switch got flipped in my head and size difference is now VERY MUCH A THING for me. I don't really want a small dude, I just want a big huge dude and a normal-sized man. (Or a big huge woman and a normal-sized woman - see Cosmoknights, which.... I'm realizing now probably had something to do with the switch and its aforementioned flippiness) Voila! I also like when the big huge dude is like: I'm not really that into it and then falls hardcore in love and has a dramatic: "What in the actual fuck just happened?" moment. This and The Dangerous Convenience Store have that exact dynamic and I cannot stress enough I could read it 100,000 more times and not get tired of it.

Saga, Volume 11, by Brian K. Vaughan. Just bring back Marko. Like, just do it. Every time it teases me with it, I want it more. Bring him back, gimme, I want. I remain in love with this series but, crap, does it just want to rip my heart out every chance it gets.

The Other World's Books Depend on the Bean Counter, Volume 4, Kazuki Irodori. This is my shit. It's a fantasy world that a completely ordinary corporate worker is sucked into and he ends up entirely reorganizing the structure of their accounting department so it a) actually functions and b) is accountable (ha). However, he has no resistance to "magicules" and the best way to acclimate him to all the magic that constantly surrounds him is for him to have sex with a very attractive soldier. Like, that's just brilliant writing is what that is, no notes. I love it, it wins all the things. (It's based on a novel that they only just began releasing in English and the comic is the superior version for me at this moment in time.)

Cherry Magic!, Vols. 9-10, by Yuu Toyota. I cannot believe I'm still so invested despite the fact that the original hook for this manga has disappeared and it's essentially just a very domestic, slice of life story now but it's just so nice to see them both happy and married and together?? So the original plot of this was there's essentially some old wives' tale that if you're a virgin at thirty you get magic powers. Cue Adachi turning thirty and he can suddenly read people's minds when he touches them and finds out through this power that his coworker, Kurosawa, is in love with him. It's a really cute, fun series and I am happy for it to go on forever. (Also, they made an anime out of it this year and it's stupid cute. There is also a live action series that I haven't watched yet.)

Therapy Game Restart, Vols. 1-3, by Meguru Hinohara. So, Minato is pile of endless insecurities in a trenchcoat and Shizuma is his confused but calm partner and it turns out I am really into that? Consistently surprised by how much I am into that but I am, in fact, into that.

Special mention to The Third Ending by Chobom - I really hope this is getting an official printing at some point because I am in love with it and I will buy the fuck out it (the fact that it's behind a digital paywall right now is the only reason this isn't number one). It is so exactly, specifically to my tastes it's ridiculous. So the idea here is Joon confesses his feelings to Yoonseul in high school, when he doesn't know him too well but likes what he sees, and Yoonseul turns him down a little harshly (he was mad at someone else and was a little less careful with his words than he would've been otherwise). Yoonseul starts having bad days on nights when he dreams of that memory and the two meet again and start hanging out so Yoonseul can assuage his conscience. They become really close friends and they end up drunkenly kissing, Yoonseul knows it's a mistake and Joon overhears him talking about it to a friend and how much he regrets it. Joon confesses his feelings again and Yoonseul, again, turns him down because he can't imagine anything physical happening between them. That should be the end of it. Except, very slowly, Yoonseul realizes he is completely in love with Joon and he's fucked this thing up to high heaven. Cue my absolute FAVORITEST dynamic - the chasee becoming the chaser.

TV

Fisk (s1-2), Netflix. This is an Australian comedy about probate lawyers and if you're on the fence about it watch the episode with the Popovitches (season 1, episode 3). I very nearly peed my pants.

Only Murders in the Building (s3), Hulu. Okay, I'm a big fan of musicals and it's not a love I indulge very often so when I do watch them, I tend to get way too into them. (Yes, I bought this album immediately.) I adored this season and I adored Howard - making him a series regular was ingenious.

The Righteous Gemstones (s3), Max. This season was so good. This show in general is so freaking good but I really loved this season. This family is so genuinely fucked up but to get to the last episode and have them rise to the occasion and figure out their brand of love was so satisfying. And I do adore that they tried to copy other functional families they saw before realizing that was just never going to work for them.

Mr. Villain's Day Off (s1), Crunchyroll. Okay, I love this manga and the show is so exactly this manga. Like, I've reblogged a ton of shot for shot comparisons so when I say 'same,' I mean 'same.' The entire idea is this monstrous alien bent on destroying the world enshrines his days off with reverence and diligence - he's just a normal guy, obsessed with pandas, who's only evil at work, thank you very much. It's just so silly and weirdly heart-warming?

Girls5Eva (s3), Netflix. There's something about Renee Elise Goldsberry for me that is magnetic. I love everything about her, I love getting to watch her do comedy, I love hearing her sing, I love her character. Also, the singing? I've mentioned how I am weak for the singing, yes?? (Yes, I have these albums too.)

Minx (Starz) was also really, really good but I wish it hadn't been canceled prematurely! It definitely wasn't finished, y'know, and it was so unfortunate to end it with Doug on the wrong side of things - I want to see the resolution, dammit!

Movies

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022). I haven't laughed at a movie like this in a long time. I've watched it twice so far this year; I went home two weeks ago and made my dad watch it with me and tears were streaming down our faces by the end. Pedro Pascal should never not be doing comedy because he was made for it.

Bottoms (2023). This is so exactly my sense of humor? The ridiculousness of this was just *chef's kiss* Also more Ayo Edibiri in everything.

Talk to Me (2022). I had been waiting for this movie to get onto some streaming platform so I could watch it and I think the best compliment I could give it is that I wanted to watch it again the next day. Great horror, great resolution!

John Wick 4. I expected this to feel so long and bloated and yet it didn't at all. I was invested the whole time and I think it helps that I watch action films, like, once every three years so these feel like fun little treats more than anything.

Nate Bargatze: The Tennessee Kid. There's a joke in here that I relate to so hard it's almost embarrassing. Talking about ordering coffee, he goes: "If you could just do whatever you think it is and if it's wrong, I won't even tell you, how about that, I will walk out of here as if that's exactly what I ordered. I will go outside, I will throw it away, and go try again at a different Starbucks." That is exactly how I would handle that and this entire special is filled with that. I giggled so hard.

Also, special mention to Taylor Tomlinson's specials Look at You and Have It All. I love how honest she is on stage and how open she is with her audience. It's rare to have that and I think it feels so special because it is.

See you all again in Q2 (ish, probably, lbr) *salutes*

[annaraebananawriter]

It’s Stupid, Really

Well, well, well. What do we have here? Why, it’s another oneshot based off of some tweets from @dreemurr-skelememer, this time about Dream having a panic attack/ptsd episode in front of Nightmare, how interesting!

I did change a few small details, but the overall idea is the same. I just got into a flow while writing it and rid the flow until the end. 

Also, fun fact: I had planned to write this in January. I got all the dialogue written in my document and everything and then never touched it until now. I had originally planned to do it from Nightmare’s POV, but apparently that was the wrong move, because I looked at it again and decided to write from Dream’s POV instead, and I kid you not that the exact second I made that decision, I knew how to do it.

All the motivation I was missing came flooding in.

So, maybe all that advice about scenes maybe needing to be written from a different POV than what you planned is true. 

And the pacing of this might be fast, maybe too fast, but I think it reads well. Reads like you’re short of breath, I think.

Now, I...I don’t have much else to add. Happy reading, I guess!!!

Fandom: Undertale/UTMV

Characters:   Dream, Nightmare (Who belong to Joku), and mentioned Ink (Who belongs to Comyet), mentioned Bad Sanses, and mentioned Blue (Who belongs to P0pcornPr1nce)

Warnings: A panic attack and/or a PTSD episode, calling a panic attack and/or PTSD episode ‘stupid’, and self-hate, and I think that’s it. Let me know!

Summary: “ A party with a big crowd of people triggers a panic attack for Dream, who gets lost in memories of the Apple Incident. Luckily, or unluckily, depending, Nightmare is also at this party and is also the closest person available for Dream to cling to. (UTMV, Dream Sans Centric)”

Word Count: 3240

~oOo~

Dream tries to hunch himself over to appear smaller. Maybe he can blend into the crowd and can slip out of here soon.

Ink had heard of a party in some AU and really wanted to go. He tried to get both Dream and Blue to go with him, but Blue already had things to do. Dream, on the other hand, had a rather boring day planned of lying in bed and thinking for hours, and he felt bad because he wanted to say no but didn’t have a real excuse, so he ended up saying yes. Ink was excited, however, and they arrived rather early.

One would think that arriving early would help him get used to the size of the crowd, but the more skeletons he watched enter, the worse he felt. He was offered a drink multiple times and could politely deny only a few times before people got suspicious, wondering if he was alright. He grabbed some water to make people stop asking. It seemed to work, so his next problem was getting lost in the crowd until he could escape to a quieter part of the building. It made him uncomfortable, being surrounded by people, but he forced himself to work through it, sipping at his drink.

Oh, look. An exit was right in front of him, and only a few skeletons were in the way.

He sighs in relief, clutching his drink like a lifeline.

“Hey, Dream!” A Sans he’s only seen a couple of times from an AU he can’t remember the name of shouts, leaning on him. He grabs Dream’s drink out of his hands. “Why’re you just drinking water? Let me get you a real drink.”

“Oh, no thank you, I…” Dream starts, but the Sans stumbles off anyway. He cringes, sighs, and backs away, aiming to huddle into a corner and be invisible until the end of the party.

On his way, more people shout, gleeful about something happening further into the crowd, and he flinches. People shift, aiming to get a closer look at all the commotion, and he tries to elbow his way through as gently as he can. He stumbles and gets dragged into the crowd, people pushing him multiple ways.

He cringes again, trying to escape, but can’t find a gap to squeeze through. Is it just him, or is it really hot in here all of a sudden?

“You absolute beast!” Someone shouts, sparking laughter—

No, no, not laughter, jeers. People whisper to each other, nasty things about his brother—

No, no, no, not about his brother, just comments on whatever is going on—

No, wait. More people are shouting, some proclaiming that they knew it, some hurling insults, some just scoffing in disbelief—

In disgust.

Someone in front of him shifts to the right. He catches a glimpse of a skeleton huddled on the ground, curled up by the base of something—

A tree, Mother—

No, stop, stop being stupid—

And something rolling on the ground in front of them—

An apple—

Stop.

Dream’s breath hitches.

He steps back, turning, trying to get away from it, telling himself it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real. It was the past. He wasn’t there anymore, he left long ago. This wasn’t happening. Someone shoves at him—

And if this wasn’t real, would he still feel that? He can’t tell.

There are more leers and someone whoops, throwing something in the air—

Rocks rain down on Mother.

Nightmare tries to talk over all the noise, frantically explaining himself, but no one is listening.

Dream tries to fight his way through, get in front of the crowd, in front of his friends. He’s confused because they never acted this mean before. They keep throwing rocks, and he knows being hit with a rock hurts, so why are they throwing them at Nighty?

Something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong.

The wrongness fills him in rhythm with his footsteps. He’s breathing heavily, using all of his efforts to get out of this blasted crowd and find Nighty and get him away from all of this noise. His brother doesn’t like loud noises anymore. He doesn’t know why, but that doesn’t matter, because this is a loud noise and Nighty hates it here, he’s sure of it.

They need to get out.

Dream runs—

Stop, stop, stop, get out of here, this isn’t right, move on, move away—

Find Nighty and protect him, find him and protect him, find him and protect him—

Hurry, hurry, hurry—

With a final shove, he steps out in front of the crowd and looks up frantically, searching.

Only, Mother isn’t here. Neither is Nighty.

Blinking, he turns, facing the crowd of villagers, but this crowd is warped, wrong. They are all wrong. He doesn’t recognize any of them. He backs away from them, confused and worried and alarmed. His back presses against a wall and he stops breathing.

He can’t move.

He can’t move.

He can’t move anymore, something hardening his body and making him numb—

No, no, no, no, no. Not happening. You’re not there.

Stop being stupid.

He needs to find his brother. He needs to find him. They’re in danger. Nighty’s in danger. They need to find each other and run before it all goes wrong. They need to escape.

Where is his brother? Where is he? Where—

The word looks dizzy, he feels dizzy—

There’s someone beside him and—

“Dream?”

—They know his name.

Dream blinks.

The breath he was holding escapes him in a gasp.

The person beside them is dark and blurry. He can’t make out many details. Something moves behind them. Another villager? Then that means this is a villager. Not one that he recognizes, though. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe they can help.

They might know where Nightmare is.

“Dream, what…” the villager starts, confused, and concerned. Dream jolts into action, frantically grabbing onto their shoulders. His hands slid, almost like he was grabbing at oil. That’s odd. It’s familiar, too. Odd. He tightens his grip. “Hey! Get off—”

They don’t like that very much. Dream doesn’t care what they do or don’t like as long as they help him. “Have you seen my brother?”

The villager stills. “Huh?”

Frustrated, his fingers twitch. He glances around as the villager takes a moment to reorient themselves.

No Mother, no brother. Still the same.

His chest is beginning to tighten again.

“What?”

“My brother.” Dream exhales sharply at the villager’s confusion. “Looks like me, exactly like me. Just wears purple instead. It’s his favorite colour.” He doesn’t know why he mentioned that. The villager didn’t need to know that. Can’t he do anything right? “Have you seen him? I need to find him. I need to find him. Fast.”

The villager laughs harshly in disbelief. “Is—Is this a joke or something? Dream—”

“It’s not safe here. Not safe. I need to find Nighty. I need to get to him. It’s not safe here.” Dream explains, glancing around again. No change. Has it gotten hotter? He feels like he’s sweating a lot. “We’re in danger. Very bad, bad danger. He’s in danger. I need to find him. Have you seen him? Please tell me where he is.”

“Dream…”

Though he hears the villager try to speak, Dream rushes over him, impatient. “Tell me, please. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Please. I need to get there in time. I can’t be late again. Things—” He chokes on a breath and something pricks at his sockets, the edges of his vision darkening. “I can’t lose him. I can’t. He’s all I have. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please…” His voice cracks and he repeats the word over and over.

Please help him, please, please, please—

Please save Nighty, please, please, please, please—

Please, please, please, please—

He’s being led somewhere. Is the villager helping him?

Please, please, please, please—

The music—when did that start? Where even was he?—fades the further they get.

Please, please, please, please—

Doors shut behind them.

Dream can’t see anything anymore; he’s panicking too much.

Where was he? Where is Nightmare? He needs to find Nightmare.

The villager makes him sit down. He frowns, trying to get up. He can’t rest now, not when Nighty needs him. The villager doesn’t let him up.

“Breathe, Dream.”

He is breathing. Isn’t he? Maybe he’s not. Maybe he’s dead and that’s why this place is so unfamiliar and Nighty wasn’t here and, and, and—

“Breathe.”

He’s breathing. He’s trying.

He wants his brother.

“I’m right here. Keep breathing, slowly. Match me. In…out. Good. You’re not in the village, Dream. Okay? You’re not there.”

But wasn’t he just…?

“You haven’t been there in years. We’re both safe. It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay.

He needs to—

“Keep breathing, focus on breathing.”

Dream wants to scowl. He wants to frown and complain that he is doing all of that and it’s not helping. But he doesn’t, he instead inhales—

And his chest lightens a bit.

He squeezes his eyes shut, and exhales, trying to do as ordered.

His chest continues to lighten, cracks appearing in the stone as patches fall off of him—

You’re not there. You haven’t been there in years. Focus, Dream.

But it all feels so real.

And he can practically taste the apple on his tongue, the smell of negativity in the air—

And he inhales—

And the feel of a smooth staff in his hand, fabric clenched in his fist, tinging in his legs as he’s turned to stone—

And he exhales—

And the sound of wind and silence and manic laughter—

And he breathes—

And he sees—

And he—

And…

And he blinks, sockets aching.

And he sees the darkness in his vision fading. It bubbles away, letting his surroundings take its place. He’s sitting against the railing of the balcony of the building. One of them, at least. The bars bite into his back. There’s a faint breeze, carrying the smell of flowers from the garden below. It’s nice.

And Nightmare is in front of him, kneeling, hand outstretched and hovering.

Dream blinks in surprise.

Nightmare looks concerned, eye wide.

They stare at each other for a moment.

Brow furrowing, Dream clears his throat, craving a glass of water. His voice is hoarse. “…Nightmare?”

Nightmare shifts, hand lowering. “Yeah.” His brother relaxes a bit, still watching him.

Something drips off his fingers.

Goop the same colour as the goop that covers his brother covers his hands. It’s slimy and gross and the minute he notices, he wants to wipe it off, but it feels awkward and inconsiderate of him to do that in front of his brother.

Dream glances around, avoiding looking at him. Shame begins to heat his face and he internally sighs. Of course. He just had to get this way in front of Nightmare. This is like, the worst possible thing. But it’s just his luck. And now he’s left here afterward, wanting nothing more than to teleport straight home and sleep the next week away.

But doesn’t he owe it to Nighty for an explanation?

“Sorry…” His voice cracks again, and he coughs. “I—”

His mouth continues moving, but nothing comes out.

He frowns, trying again. “I—”

“Hold that thought.”

Dream looks up as Nightmare stands, walking back inside.

Well, if he really wants to, he could teleport away now and not face the humiliation surely coming his way. Nightmare will probably return with one of his guys and then a fight will break out, taking advantage of his weakened state. He doesn’t want to fight right now, doesn’t even want to move. If he could, he would just flop over and sleep right here. Then all of the aftermath of this can be dealt with once he wakes up.

But, no, he’s a big boy, and he will face it now as he should.

He wraps his arms around his legs and buries his head in his knees. God, he’s such an idiot. No, he’s weak. He knew coming to this party with Ink would be a risk. He felt the panic at the start, the minute they arrived and people were still pouring into the big, big room, but he swallowed it back and tried to forget about it. It was only when the crowd pulled him along that he got lost in his head. Everyone he pushed in his fight to get away must be so confused, and they must’ve talked about it with their friends and now everyone was probably wondering why he was acting so weird.

Hopefully, no one noticed the terror he felt, but he has a feeling it might’ve been obvious…

This will be such a big mess to clean up. Why did his brain have to betray him like this? Why did he give in so easily? It was like he wanted to get lost, and he never wants to get lost. He always says that it’s the last time he’d ever feel like this, but there always ends up being another thing that triggers it again. He doesn’t know how to stop it besides avoiding anything he manages to clue in on, like crowds.

And yet, here he was. Here he fucking was.

A hand grabs his wrist. Dream’s head snaps up. He watches, eyes wide, as Nightmare holds his hand and runs a damp washcloth over it, cleaning it. For some reason. Why? Why would his brother come back just to clean him up?

This wasn’t his mess to deal with.

This…this, the cleaning, reminds him of patching Nightmare up under Mother. It brings the aching longing he got sleeping in branches and walking through the woods to the front of his mind. It hurts and hurts and he’s unable to shake it off.

“Are you alright?” Nightmare asks, focusing on his task.

Dream swallows. “I’m fine.”

His brother looks up, unconvinced, raising a brow.

“Really, I am,” he insists.

Nightmare’s eye flicks over his face, searching for a lie.

Dream prepares himself, resigned at explaining. The words are on the tip of his tongue, ready, when—

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“Okay.” Nightmare goes back to cleaning. He’s ruing a perfectly good washcloth just for Dream. He doesn’t know how to feel. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

The words feel foreign to him. “Oh…Thanks.”

Nightmare hums.

Odd.

Dream’s not used to being told he doesn’t have to talk about things if he doesn’t want to. The villagers always wanted to make sure he was happy, asking him again and again if he was and flocking to make him feel better if he said he wasn’t. Even now, people prefer to know everything about his job. Most of the conversations he has with people besides Blue or Ink or a few others are one-sided questions about himself.

He's relieved that Nightmare is giving him a choice. He wants to stay silent and let them both forget this ever existed. If they can, that is. Still. He wants to keep any of what he was thinking about to himself, as much as he can. His brother is still his enemy, after all, and giving away all his vulnerabilities will only result in more difficult battles.

He doesn’t want to say anything, and yet he does.

For some reason, having a choice makes him want to tell Nightmare something even more. “I don’t like crowds. Specifically, not, um…big ones. Or loud ones. Or big loud crowds crammed in a small room. Whenever I’m in one for a long time, it…” He swallows again, glancing up and catching Nightmare’s eye. “It brings back bad memories,” he whispers, feeling childish that he’s avoiding saying anything specific.

Nightmare watches him for a moment. “Okay.”

His face is expertly blank. He can’t tell what his brother is feeling.

“I apologize that you had to deal with this.” Dream sighs. “I usually handle it.” He chuckles, tired. “It’s stupid, really.”

Nightmare still doesn’t say anything. Still blank. He’s finished with his task, setting the washcloth aside so he can fiddle with his fingers.

Dream starts, “I—”

“I don’t like apples.”

He blinks, forgetting what he was going to say. “…What?”

“I don’t. Brings back some bad memories. So, I don’t buy any or eat any. And that’s fine. I’m sure my boys know my dislike of them, too, ‘cause they never bring any home when they go shopping.” Nightmare pauses. “They may not…understand, exactly, but they don’t need to. They’re my friends. They accept it and live with it.” He looks right at Dream. “We all do.”

Dream blinks, looking at his hands. There wasn’t a speck left on them. Even all the dirt from the week, the build-up of grime he hadn’t had the energy to wash off, it was all gone. It felt strange to see the white bones underneath, marred by scratches as they were. He clenches them and opens them, admiring them.

Nightmare wasn’t talking about himself anymore. In his own, roundabout way, he was offering some advice that Dream really needs to hear. Stuff he has told others to do—trust those around you because the fact they were still there meant they cared far more than you realized. Friends lean on each other; no friendship is one-sided. Communicate, and you’ll have a better relationship. Whenever he had given the advice, he always felt he was lying, spouting facts he didn’t know were true. His brother seems to say it with such belief, and he probably does because he's learned all of it himself.

While Dream was stuck in stone, Nightmare was growing and moving on. He already knew this but it still surprises and pains him when he sees what that really means firsthand.

And yet…for all of his moving on, his brother still helped him today.

His brother could’ve just left him to his panic attack, let him make a fool of himself in front of everyone. Let rumors spread across the multiverse about him, watch his reputation and others’ trust in him crumble. Let him be weak. That was his goal, right? Beat him and give him a taste of what was owed to him, a sliver of what happened to his brother all those years ago? Why help his enemy out of a vulnerable spot, why not take advantage?

Dream wants to say it’s because, despite everything, they were still brothers, and that took priority over anything else.

With a new surge of confidence, Dream clenches his fists. “Right…Night, I—” But when he looks up, Nightmare is gone. He falters, looking around the empty garden as if his brother was simply hiding from him, but he knows he is gone.

He doesn’t sense him in the AU anymore.

Sighing, he stands on shaky legs. He’s disappointed, yes, but not surprised. He’ll just have to tell him another day how sorry he was about what happened, how much he misses him. Ask if he feels the same way. Ask if he wants to be brothers again in more than just title. Maybe, just maybe, Night’ll listen to him and maybe he’ll even say he wants to as well.

For now, though, Dream steels his resolve and leaves.

He’ll explain to Ink in the morning that he doesn’t really like big crowds, parties included.

[milkyway-myosotis]

Alola. Think that's what you say.

My name is Dillisk. I'm a Ranger for the Ultra Recon Squad. An...Ultra Recon Ranger, you could say. I think. I don't care about pronouns. Use any you'd like. Um...

This is just a personal blog, so anything I say doesn't reflect the URS. I also...don't know a lot about the URS. Internal affairs and stuff. I just do missions.

I have one Ultra Beast—a Poipole. I've named them Plum :)

My coworkers might pop up here from time to time. I'll let them introduce themselves, I think. Don't worry- they're very cool :D

That's all. I look forward to getting to know you all ^^

-🪼

[ Current Status: Loitering . . . ]

[Magic Anons: Disabled]

[Mystery Gift: Enabled]

["Pelipper" Mail: Enabled]

[Divider Credit!]

[Userbox Credit!]

(Ooc Beneath- Please read!)

//Hello! This is skrelp, back at it again for a take two of this blog!

So, if you don't know, here's a basic explanation of what this blog (and who Dillisk) used to be (not required reading):

For a 100 Follower event on another Pkmn IRL Blog I run, I decided to do an 'au takeover!' Of that character, which ended up being Dillisk. I decided a few weeks after to make Dillisk a separate blog—but so that I wasn't running two blogs with the exact same character, I decided to include two of her coworkers on there!

This was all well and good, but I quickly felt stuck when it came to Dillisk as a character, and events I wanted to do with this blog. So it eventually fell into a hiatus. But I'm back! With a hard reboot.

Important notes:

Most interactions and events before August 23rd, 2024 are currently considered non-canon. This might change, depending on other muns and stuff! If we've interacted before, feel free to DM me and we can work something out !

The current Dillisk that runs this blog is NOT AFFILIATED with the previous version, or the other blog I mentioned. While they share the same name, the similarities end there. Everything, including their backstory, is now different!

Rules + Notices

No NSFW. Mod is an adult, but is just generally uncomfortable with that kinda thing.

Any blog with any canon can interact! This includes sapient Pokemon, eebies, and especially fallers!

Because it's not mentioned up there /\, Musharna Mail and Malice are both off.

If you ever want to work something out—like an event, or an established relationship between our characters or whatever—feel free to message me! I'm down for most things :D

This'll be a drama-stakes blog with medium-stakes on occasion!

Because of Dillisk's situation, the topic of amnesia and memory loss will be brought up a bunch. I'll tag these with 'tw amnesia' when I can.

Furthermore—feel free to poke and prod Dillisk about stuff! He's got. A lot going on LMAO

Let me know if you need anything tagged!

Mod can be found at @skrelps-cafe.

Other stuff 💥

Emoji Signoffs:

-🪼 [Dillisk]

-🍨 [Nori]

-💫 [Coworker 2] [Currently unnamed- Ask about them!]

[New!] Tags:

#it's dillisk! 🪼 — Posts where Dillisk is speaking

#asks and stuff — Ask tag

#coworker appearance: 💫 — Posts where one of Dillisk's coworkers makes an appearance. Once you learn their name, this tag will be phased out with a different one.

#it's nori! 🍨 — Posts where one of Dillisk's coworkers, Nori, makes an appearance.

#=on a mission!= — Posts where Dillisk is on a mission!