#and it makes me feel happy even if this week has been really hard
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good luck charm: bonus drabble
come and get your love
summary: after a hard day, you do something to cheer evan up.
word count: 1.6k
series masterlist
a/n: this might be stupid, but it was fun to write and i think itâs cute so sue me!! sigh, i miss good luck charm evan, and i'm sorry this took so long, i just couldn't think of any scenarios i really wanted to tell. if you have any drabble ideas for this series, i'm happy to hear them! enjoy<33
warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
Youâre in the bedroom putting away some laundry when you hear the front door slam, and you jump in surprise, a frown making its way onto your face immediately. You know exactly what that door slam means; Evan has had a bad day.Â
âHi, baby.â you say, peeking your head over the railing and looking at him in the kitchen getting some water. You offer him a small smile when he looks up at you, and although he gives you a smile back, you can tell itâs fake even from up in the loft. It doesnât quite reach his eyes, and you sigh sadly.
When you make it to the bottom of the stairs and walk towards him standing near the fridge, you wrap your arms around his neck and raise up onto your toes to give him a kiss. You feel the way he melts into your embrace, and itâs almost as if you can feel all of the stress radiating off of his body; itâs practically suffocating you, and you canât even imagine how he feels.
âRough day?â you ask, and he nods once, jaw clenched.
Heâs been working extremely hard the past few weeks at the LAFD training academy, and while he comes home most days exhausted but content, thereâs some days where he can get overwhelmed.
âYou have no idea.â he tells you, his hands finding their way to your hips. You give him a sad smile, then pull him down for another kiss, hoping to get him to relax a little bit more.
âDo you want to talk about it?â He huffs at your question, thinking for a moment. He knows it would be better to get it out of his system, but he doesnât want to dump it all on you. He knows how hard youâve been working at your new job, and he doesnât want you worrying about him as well.
âHey, we donât keep stuff in, thatâs not what we do. You told me that.â you urge him softly when he doesnât reply right away. He sighs, a smile fighting its way onto his face at your reminder. He nods after a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing his thumb across your cheek.
âThe physical stuff is fine, Iâm passing everything easily. Just- The instructors say stuff; try to get into your head. It just got to me today.â he explains with a frown. You nod your head as he speaks, keeping your gaze locked with his. When heâs finished you tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue, but when he doesnât, you raise your brows.
âDo you want to tell me what they said today that got you so worked up?â you urge. You donât necessarily want to push him, but you know that he needs to talk it out, so you keep your eyes on him, as if pleading with him to tell you.
âWe were doing this drill today, and there were a bunch of dummies. They gave them all back stories to make them feel real. I donât know, I guess I just got caught up in it and in my mind they were real people, because they will be one day. I tried to go back into the building even when some of the other guys let the fire get out of hand because there were still a few dummies left in the building, and some guys had to hold me back.â he says in one big breath, and you follow along with furrowed brows, hoping heâll continue.
âWell, they know I have you, and I guess they picked up on the fact that I was thinking about you the whole time; thinking about you in there. They were just saying stuff about me not being able to save you because of my mistakes, and about you having to plan my funeral because I got reckless on the job and I got myself killed.â he continues after a moment. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to reply, and your eyes soften at his admission.Â
You shake your head, bringing his head down to rest your foreheads against each other with your hand on the back of his neck. You keep him there for a moment in silence, trying to gather your thoughts before you reply.
âMy love, your heart is what will make you a good firefighter. You care so much about people. And I have no doubt that youâd be able to save me if you had to, because youâre smart, and capable, and you love so deeply. And Iâm not gonna lie, the thought of you getting hurt on the job has crossed my mind, but I know that youâre gonna fight to come home everyday, arenât you?â He nods immediately, brows furrowing.
âOf course, I will. You know I will.â he replies, and you smile.
âThen Iâm not too worried. Worry about actually finishing your training first, and then weâll talk about you dying on the job, okay? Because I guarantee that when you start at an actual station, youâll trust your team a lot more than the recruits. You canât even imagine all the stories my dad has told me about the people he had to train with.â you tell him with a small laugh. You can still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes as he tells you that youâre right, so you lead him to the couch and sit him down.
âI know exactly what you need.â you tell him when he sits down, then turn and grab your phone off the kitchen counter.
A small, real smile finally makes its way to his face when he sees you scrolling through your phone, knowing exactly what youâre about to do. When one of you has a bad day, the other always does something to make the other smile. He doesnât even remember when or how this tradition started, but he does know that it always makes him smile regardless of how many times you do it.
His smile widens when he hears the beginning to Redboneâs Come and Get Your Love from the speaker connected to the tv, and you turn from your spot in the kitchen to face him.
You walk over to him as the beat starts, moving your shoulders in time with each step and fighting back a smile, and when the singing starts, you grab the tv remote off the coffee table and begin to lip sync into it.
He watches as you dance to the music with a wide smile, watching the way you move your hips in time with the music, and he can already feel himself start to feel better. He chuckles when you grab one of his hands and duck down to spin under his arm, and when you turn back to face him, you drop his hand and back up a few feet.
When the chorus starts, you continue lip syncing as you raise your hand in a âcome hereâ motion, rolling your body in time with the beat. He gets up off the couch, keeping his eyes locked with yours, then grabs your hips, pulling you against him.Â
You both sway to the music with smiles on your face. You can tell that he feels better, and youâre extremely grateful. You know how stressful the job can be, and you only hope you can help him through it as much as you can.Â
The song finally ends, and he lifts you up with his hands going to the backs of your thighs, and you giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist.
âYou always know what to do, princess.â he says with a grin, and all you can do is lean down to press your lips to his.Â
âI know what else I can do to help you feel better.â you murmur against his lips. You feel his grip tightening on the back of your thighs, and he groans, pulling back from your lips to look at you with blown pupils.
âIâm keeping you in bed until tomorrow morning.â he teases, then sets you back down onto the ground. He then grabs your waist and turns you towards the stairs, then pushes you forward gently, but not before giving your ass a firm smack. You yelp at the contact, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder as he speaks.
âGo upstairs, princess. Iâll be right up.âÂ
âWhat are you doing?â you ask, but obey and walk towards the stairs.
âIâm ordering takeout, gonna see what I can do before it gets here.â he teases, and you laugh softly, rolling your eyes.
His eyes dart between your ass as you walk up the stairs, and his phone, and when heâs finally placed the order, he races up the stairs two at a time.Â
He grins when he sees that youâre already naked, sprawled out on the bed and sitting up on your elbows waiting for him. He groans as he takes off his shirt, then unzips his pants, and then heâs on you in an instant, lips attaching to your neck.
âHow could I do this without you, princess?â he whispers against your neck, goosebumps erupting on your skin as his hot breath hits your neck.
âYouâd be lost without me.â you tease as you tilt your head back. You feel him grinding against you as he chuckles, and you lower your chin to meet his gaze when he leans back to look at you.
âDamn right, I would.â
notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
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This Week in BL - Boyfriend Era is a Go
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
NOV 2024 Week 2
Ongoing Series - Thai
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - I have to say it, the heist stuff is stupid and all the sidekicks are idiots to the point of annoyance. But Yin and War are truly stellar at these parts. And in general in these roles. Canât knock 'em. Itâs been a year of some very good kisses and this has to have been the best. So this show is top of the standings this week for that kiss alone. Like srs boys? I mean to say, BOYS! How dare. Breaking the internet like that.
Honestly, let's be clear, these two have had killer chemistry since the En of Love and we all expected great things. And now, here we sit, suffering great things from these kings. Thank you, Sirs, may we have another?
Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 15 - I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. The Per Win story arc never interested me in 2014 and Iâm not enjoying it now either. But Mick and Ohm are better in 2024. Nong Mick is a standout character, and a brilliant glow up in this version and heâs a confident little shit (affectionate). The mains are good too, but Phun and Noh always were great characters, and these actors are quite good. Possibly better than the original.Â
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 10 of 12 - More bf era delightful diabetes. They are the best boyfriends and the cutest family in the entire world. No exceptions. Next week is definitely doom tho.Â
Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Talk about making consent and communication sexy! *fans self* Whoah! That was unexpectedly great. The blatancy of the lust in this one was fun too. And the general casual switch nature of the relationship = delightful.
I like the little acting course we're getting from these tw. They are both quite good. Iâm not sure I really enjoy the stories that theyâre telling, but I do like how they are telling them.
Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 6 of 16 - Hill is the premier torch carrier of this year. My goodness. He sure nursed that crush. While I really like this main couple, Iâm happy to have some of the others start to creep into the narrative at this juncture. Alone HillTer are a bit intentionally miscommunicative and saccharine. But the screen-time distribution amongst couples seems a little strange. That said, couple 2? No thank you. I really don't like North as a character at all. I find him incredibly unappealing. Ordinarily I'd be on his side because....... blackmail trope renders Johan automatically a complete arse. But at least this is 2 unlikable characters being jerks to each other?
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) ep 2 of 24 - Say it with me Thailand: negging is NOT romantic. Frankly, Arc is just an asshole and a bully with anger issues. ButâŠâŠ Yay cute sides! PondSand they funny. (Book, to me = never very funny. I donât think comedy is his bailiwick. Look, comedy is HARD yaâll and usually not in that way.)Â
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 1 of 11 - Theyâre doing some interesting stuff with the framing (both filming style and narrative) that makes this extremely old-fashioned feeling (like Takumi-kun level). I keep saying that this year, but it feels like BL is doing a lot of rediscovering its roots right now. This one even had a goldfish. And abuse. (The two, oddly, often go hand-in-hand in JBL ) And overall...... itâs a bit weird. Which I donât mind from Japan. Japanese BL can get weird in a good way. Oh I like it. Bully meats smart loaner, total opposites attract, both are lonely and broken and NEED each other, and all that.
See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 13 - Oh dear, our poor little rich boy is very broken indeed. The sides are utterly ridiculous.
My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 6 of 7 - I donât normally like a love triangle, but I kind of like this one since it gave our uke a bit more depth and agency. And charm, quite frankly. So far heâs been a very dower character.
Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 9-10 of 12 - Okay boyfriend era is a go. Goodness but they sure are adorable.Â
Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 7 of ? - The slow burn is really very slow. To the point of frustration. But I'm still enjoying the show, just not as much as I was.
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 8 of 10 eps - Even Japan is going through a bf era rn I see. How unusual.
Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Iâm slightly less annoyed by this one than the original (but I was VERY annoyed by that). I think mame is being tempered by a few things:
Thereâs so much less time spent on the back-and-forth, because this is a much shorter show, so I have less time to be frustrated by it and the utter uselessness of 75% of these characters.
Also, there's that innate Japanese awkwardness of portrayal & social interaction, which makes the unpleasantness of the characters' behavior and touch more understandable.
This, in turn, is married to the natural kink factor of JBL.
Thereâs a clearer Dom sub from the get go with this version, makes the blackmailing a little bit more tolerable because it's clearly Play. (negotiated or not) Simply put, daddy wants his brat to beg. And honestly? So say we all.
On a completely different note, the wardrobe for this show is terrible. Like truly bad BAD.
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 3-4 - Well I guess thatâs that disability dealt with. Meanwhile, competitive bullying art students? I am very amused. Zoo date was cute. This is unquestionably a BL (Iâm even more scared now). Still, the gay boys dealing with the straight dudeâs crush was truly hilarious. So much "our gay drama doesnât have time for your het bullshit."Â Classy move, I smell some Taiwan in this show.
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 4-8 end - I was reliably informed this has an HFN end so I decided to watch. Noble and self sacrificing with both of them taking the blame.
My thoughts are...... mixed.
High school student Do Hoe lives with his brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym. When cheerful Ju Young arrives to train, they fall in love. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite over a decade years later. Essentially this is a brilliant narrative about finding love at the worst possible time, surviving chronic abuse, and the way we process mental, emotional, and physical trauma overtime. Yes itâs also a romance, but thatâs not primarily what this story is actually about. I can recognize its genius, but this type of narrative is not for me. Iâm reminded of bittersweet painful shows like To My Star 2, or The On1y One, or even Not Me. Is this BL tangential or is it some other genre entirely? Am I questioning my own taste because I did not like its content, or because I do not like its genre? And if itâs not BL should I even render judgment? I think I have to lean into the way I approached some of those other shows, which is to say: it is not for me but I recognize that it is of an extremely high-quality that is certainly for someone else.
Recommended, but only if you like masochistic cinema. Under those circumstances 9/10
(but know that if i were rating for my personal taste? 7/10 Iâm never re-watching this, and there is a small part of me that wishes I never had)Â
It's airing but......
Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special supposed to air 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally.
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - I've been reliably told not to bother, so I won't.
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. Itâs not what I want from my entertainment.
Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YouTube) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me. And just very very odd. DNF
In case you missed it
Uncle Unknown finished its run on YT. Censored Chinese BL with paralytically bad production levels. But certainly BL. Boys reunite after a break up only to discover one of them is the step-Uncle of the other. Much to my own shock and surprise I watched all 12 episodes of this. Fortunately, each episode is about 5 minutes long. Under those circumstances is it worth it? Maybe. Itâs bad. But not offensive. So that's a win. And you know me, I love a weird take on the stepbrotherâs trope and incest taboos. 5/20Â watch it only if you have nothing better to do
Next Week Looks Like This:
Gosh there's a lot on right now.
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
November BL:
11/15 Caged Again (Thai Fri Gaga) 10 eps - Penguin escapes zoo by turning into a human. Gets trapped again and a panther falls in love with him.
11/17 Your Sky (Thai Sun iQIYI) 12 eps - A naive freshman and the campusâs popular senior agree to pretend to be a couple - but their fake deal begins to generate real feelings.
11/20 Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love
11/20 The Heart Killers (Thai Weds YT iQIYI) 12 eps - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist ex-booster (First) and a mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. I like that everyone is morally gray. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). I'm excited. My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy soâŠ... this gonna be interesting.
THIS WEEKâS BEST MOMENTS
The insane level of his babygirl heart eyes.
Just, have mercy.
(last week)
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
#this week in BL#BL updates#Jack & Joker#Jack and Joker#fourever you#Perfect 10 Liners#Eccentric Romance#Teenager Judge#Kidnap the series#Love Sick 2024#Love in the Air Koi no Yokan#Love in the Air Japan#Every You Every Me#My Damn Business#Blue Canvas of Youthful Days#Love is Like a Poison#Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru#Our Youth#Miseinen Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu#uncle unknown review#Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo review#upcoming BL#BL news#BL reviews#BL gossip#Thai BL#Vietnamese BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Koren BL
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WHAT YOUR HIGHER SELF WANTS TO TELL YOU đ«đ
Hello my loves!!!
I am back.
Love being MIA (jk jk I miss it so much, but life just has been holy crap) Here's a reading on what your higher self wants to tell you. Which Ive been trying to do since fkn last week of October, and finally here I am!!
Oh I am also going to start doing paid readings I guess, I am so excited!!! (but after November because end term exams are upon me)
Lets get to the reading!!
Choose whatever pile resonates with you, whatever does not, remember to just pass it onđ„°
Pile 1>>2>>3
Pile 1
Hello love!
Welcome to your pile!
So starting off, your higher self is warning you about the people who are around you. While I was connecting with the higher self for the messages, it felt like there was this huge bundle of snakes intertwined and you were at the centre of it. You might be surrounded by people who do not have your best interest at heart.Â
Since they were so intertwined and you were literally at the core of it, it seems like they have sllithered there way into your closest and innermost circle, but not because they genuinely want to be there, but it may be because they want to get some gossip from you, or they want to reap the rewards for the hard work you have done. You know sort of like, parasitic situation.
For you oracle we have
The Bee and Pomegranate: productivity
This card is making me think that they are either jealous of your productivity and want to know how you are doing it so they can as well, or they really want to piggy back on your success and call it theirs.Â
With the Bee I think, it is time for you to identify the issues in your hive, and start eliminating them. You might feel a little suspicious about them sometimes but brush away that thought thinking youâre just being paranoid. But, if your intuition is constantly pulling your attention towards that, and if youâre having a bad feeling, its time to sting that *beep* and cut them out of your life.Â
I am getting that you might start having some issues while youâre with them, like getting a headache, your energy levels being drained even though you were fine seconds ago. Having stomach issues after having a meal with them, your electric appliances would stop working, something like that.
I also saw this forked snake typa thing, which had two heads, and basically they are double faced and a snake to everyone and arenât true to anybody. Just felt like mentioning it here.
For your tarot cards, we have,
Ace of Cups and The Emperor (reverse)
I feel like, because of the people around you, and their negative energies towards you, new opportunities might be blocked from coming to you.
You might feel the energy of something new coming, but then it just does not. Also, you do not have your cup full. Because of all that energy draining by these people, you only feel happy superficially, or because you are supposed to feel happy with your friends. But actually, deep down in reality, your soul knows you deserve better and these arenât the people who are going to fill your cup.
Youâve got better opportunities waiting for you, youâve got a whole empire waiting for you with The Emperor, but you need the right people in your court who will help you get there. Community is important, and being alone sucks, especially if youâre in a new place, could be a new school, a new university, a new job and you are afraid of letting them go because what if nobody else is there.
But until you take that risk, you will never find out. And honestly, right now, even being alone for a little while would be good for you to rejuvenate yourself and align yourself with the life that you really want, with the people that you really want.
Thatâs all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading đđ»Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3
Pile 2
Hello love!
Welcome to your pile!
Idk what it is with this reading, but saw snakes for this pile as well (I was literally playing slither.io rn), but in a veryyy different light as compared to the first pile. Basically, you know like there are two sides of you, the light and the dark, the yin and the yang sort of a thing. Except, I saw one side more earthy, nature ish and grounded I guess, and the other is just the same thing but⊠horror ish. You know thorny forest and dark night things.Â
I think what your higher self is trying to tell you is that you gotta embrace all of yourself. All the parts, the good, bad, light, dark etc etc etc. It happens sometimes when you realise some weird (dark trait/habit so to say) of yours and then you fixate on that and you end up believing youâre not a very good person (HOLY FKN CRAP the universe just aligned in such a weird way I cannot even, gonna give context in a bit).Â
But just because you believe youâre not a good person doesnât mean that you donât have the good qualities in you. And vice-versa as well, sometimes when we do light work, we tend to forget our shadow selves, or repress it. Which isnâtâŠideal. Ya know?
You gotta embrace everything.. Just like the big snakes circle the little ones in slither.io (such weird analogies holy crap)
Okay so I do use costar (i am aware people dislike it, but its daily messages hit right at the spot. But todayâs did not make sense to me, until NOW)
Okay anywho, moving on
Your oracle cards are:
The Caiman and Poppy: dreams
The Hawk and Thistle: graceful persistence
They are going to make more sense with the tarot cards so I am just going to mention them here,
Queen of Swords, 6 of pentacles (reversed), Ace of Wands and 3 of Wands
I feel like there has been some passion project sort of thing you have been wanting to pursue, but not getting the motivation, or you know the nicer way to do it. You may start doing it but then leave it after sometime because it is not providing you the happiness that you thought it would. Its not because youâre doing the wrong thing, its probably because thereâs another way to do the thing, where youâll enjoy it to the core.
This ânewâ way of doing the thing might be revealed to you in your dreams. Your higher self may come to you in dream state and then reveal what is to be done. Now of course, ainât that easy, they may not tell you exactly what you have to do, but tell you in some weird ass format which you might have to decode later on.
I am also getting the vibe that do not share this new thing with the people around you, I think. Not until it is successful anyway. I know its fun when you go and be like âYo I had this epiphany in a dreamâ and blabber it all out. But for the time being, keeping the thing to yourself would be more beneficial to you. The Hawk from the oracle card has got sharp eyes and is on the lookout. Now its not to say that people are out for you or will take your ideas blah blah, but I think its for your own sake. You know sometimes you tell a person something and the whole excitement just blows away? Think of it as avoiding this scenario.Â
Anyways! I hope whatever this new thing is, it brings back your spark for doing the things you are passionate about and this time receiving the serotonin with it as well!
Thatâs all I have for you today! Thank you so much for readingđđ»Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3
Pile 3
Hello love!
Welcome to your pile!
SO OKAY!Â
Everybody who chose this pile, like fkn immediately go and connect to your higher selves, they have SO MUCH TO SAY and I can only cover so much (sorry higher selves I am trying my best here)
Okay so, gonna explain everything together, your oracle card is:
The Antelope and Wheat: nourishment
What I felt is like, you know, you have multiple personalities, moods and what not. Like one day youâre like Yay Party and then two days later youâre just hibernating happily. Youâre being told to nourish all the various aspects you have of yourself.Â
Wanna go clubbing. Sure!
Wanna stay in and sleep in your cute pajamas. Sure!
Wanna go on a solo date/trip. Sure!
Donât deprive any one of them, if you feel like you do not have enough resources to do so, or just because, it is easier to just lie down or do something else instead of doing what you actually want.Â
Iâll explain more with your tarot cards:
King of Pentacles, 3 of swords, 7 of swords, The Chariot, The Hierophant, 4 of pentacles and Ace of pentacles
(see I told you they have a lot to say)
Coming back on track, I feel like you wanna reach the King of pentacles before you nourish yourself, you know have absolute abundance of money, energy, health and what not.Â
But it is also possible that sometimes, you arenât the King of Pentacles, you might be the Queen, the Knight, the Paige and this or that, and then it breaks your heart that you know âoh I canât do this, I am low on resourcesâ.
But thatâs just your brain being wacky, and since you arenât fulfilling all of your needs, it sort of snatches away happiness from other things as well. I mean of course youâll be happy doing what you can but then youâll know something is missing and thatâs not the experience you wanna have with the things you love.
Your Higher self is telling you to keep moving forward, do not let your wacky brain control you with its weird ass thoughts (easier said than done). Do not reserve yourself from living your life to the fullest, because of minor hereâs and thereâs. Its pentacles, itâs gonna get refreshed any which ways and youâll always be in a cycle of receiving it and giving it away.
This thinking might have been ingrained in you since childhood, through your home, or society or the community that you live in. Which is okay, I mean if you were brought up like that, obviously you will live that way. You know, Asian parents being like you canât have fun for 2 days in a row! Which is makes zero sense (been there done that)
Try detaching yourself from that mindset if you are able to, because thereâs a much livelier version of yourself to live as and they are looking forward to you taking steps towards them!!
Thatâs all I have for you today! Thank you so much for readingđđ»Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3
#tarotblr#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#divination#astrology#divine#divine guidance#spiritual awakening#oracle#oracle reading#spirit guides#universe#higher self#pick a pile#pick a card#pac#pac reading
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Tommy ignores the knock at his door. He's in day three pajamas and the only person who might make the effort to check in on him is his exes best friend. Which.
The knocking continues.
It's getting louder.
There's a Kings game on in the background and he's been elbow deep in the Jeep manual he'd finally cracked open in some sort of weird, fucked up pattern of mourning.
Tommy's never gonna buy a fucking Jeep. He hates them. You own one for more than five years and more than half the parts are replacement parts.
He's been staring at a diagram of the timing belt for half an hour, at least. The last thing he remembers about the game is Kuemper letting in three goals on five shots and somehow the Kings are up two, now, and there's still 25 minutes of game time left.
Tommy reaches for the remote. Turns the volume up.
The knocking returns less than a minute later.
---
There's a box of odds and ends tucked under the table in his entryway. He avoids looking at it. He knows there are a few things missing from it and he really doesn't want to examine what he'll have to do to avoid giving it to Eddie tonight. He cut the cords, he shouldn't be lingering watching the frayed edges sway in the wind, clutching his line like there's anything braced on the other side of it.
Evan's oldest, softest LAFD hoodie, the one that's technically too small for both of them but has stretched shockingly evenly and is definitely not sitting unwashed at the bottom of Tommy's laundry basket. The program from a recital of Denny's they'd stopped by to support him for, on their way out of town for a long weekend. Evan's stupid keto bread and the milk frother he'd left behind three months ago and never bothered to grab because he had more than one.
Whoever is at his door is still fucking knocking, and suddenly Tommy doesn't feel like being polite. He'll shove the box in Eddie's arms and tell him to fuck off and close the last few remaining open doors he has to this.
Only when he swings the door wide it's not Eddie on the other side, and the box nearly takes out whatever Evan - Buck, Jesus Christ - has in his own arms.
Not a Tommy box - too small for all the shit that he'd left behind. He misses the house slippers that had had a permanent spot tucked under the left side of the bed.
Tommy flinches, reels away, tries to shove the box away before Buck can see its contents.
"What are you doing here?" Even tone. No quiver in his voice. He's been called rude and dismissive for less.
Buck scowls. Hefts the rectangular dish in his hands and shoves past Tommy before Tommy can blink.
It's silly to say he chases after him, down the hallway towards the kitchen, but he's not exactly following along behind at a casual leisurely pace.
The glass pan slams down on his kitchen counter and Buck spends a minute staring at the calendar he was only getting two months out of because he couldn't look at the one with all Buck's notes penned in anymore.
"Wow," Buck says, and shifts his weight awkwardly.
"What are you -?"
"Jee and I made you birthday cupcakes," Buck says. His voice is hard. Angry. Hurt. "Happy birthday, asshole."
---
He cracks the lid and there are only three cupcakes inside. Tommy forgets himself. Raises a brow, amusement rolling over him pleasantly, prepared to tease him, but then he catches the set of Buck's legs and the curl of his mouth and the tight way his arm tucks itself back in against his belly, a protective gesture that reminds Tommy very effectively what this is.
"Why?" Tommy wonders aloud, and Evan's scowl deepens.
Buck's scowl.
God.
"We've been planning it for weeks." Something flashes across his eyes before he schools his features. "Jee made me promise to bring you some."
"She must not be a skilled baker," Tommy jokes. "If these are the only ones that made it."
Evan's expression twists. "I ate most of them."
The frosting looks fresh. No creases in the paper cup holding them together.
"I had to make a new batch of frosting because I used some of it for -." He cuts himself off. Looks like he'd like to throw it in Tommy's face but can't quite force himself to hurt Tommy.
It hurts as much as he'd expected, anyway.
The world is a small place. It's not the first time he's had to speak to an ex when he didn't want to. It's never pleasant.
This is worse. The cut and run is supposed to give him time.
Evan Buckley has been an ache behind his ribcage for months, now, long before he'd made that final decision. He'd known it was too little too late. Buck's gonna be the shadow other men see behind his eyes for years.
Buck's apparently found and slept with someone within the week and a half span from Tommy walking out to his sad shitty mopey birthday.
That he'd forgotten about.
Tommy leans in. Picks up a cupcake. Licks a stripe through the frosting and makes a face when he realizes it's buttercream.
"The ones you were supposed to get had the whipped cream one you like," Buck says, accusingly.
That somehow stings just a little bit extra.
Tommy pulls back the paper, takes a bite. There's raspberry filling inside, and Tommy can feel tears prickling at the edges of his eyes, because when he'd told Evan about how his grandma baked he'd been thinking of Evan being a grandparent, the kind of shit he'd forbidden himself from imagining with anyone he was dating years ago.
"Thank you," he manages, and Buck frowns.
"He thought the whipped cream was too sweet." And Tommy probably deserves this but he's not particularly in the mood.
"Cut it out, Buck."
Buck rolls his jaw. "I just figured you'd wanna know how it's going. Maybe I could tally up the hookups for you, count them all up by gender and stamina and opinions on how I should feel and act and fall for someone. Find out if I'm actually gay enough to be a man's last."
---
The rest of the cupcake kind of collapses and oozes as Tommy smacks it down on the counter. He takes thirty seconds to pull the other two cupcakes out before he's grabbing the too-large fake Pyrex and turning heel. The keto bread goes in the pan. Then the milk frother.
Tommy yanks the recital program off the fridge and tosses it in the trash.
Buck almost looks triumphant.
"The box under the side table has the rest. You can see yourself out."
He actually does exactly as he's told, and Tommy listens to his footsteps drift off, shoulders hunched in and the breath tight in his throat. He'd been cruel, it was only fair Buck got a few final kicks in.
Tommy sucks in a breath and blinks away the moisture at the edges of his vision.
The footsteps take a heel turn at the side table and turn right back around.
"This isn't everything."
Tommy half expects some panned comment about how Tommy's got his heart - the kind of silly shit he'd say to a dead outlaw.
"My sweatshirt," Buck says, and Tommy freezes.
He could lie. He could pretend he had no idea where it was. Claim he didn't remember it even being here, because that particular piece of clothing did have a tendency to travel.
He doesn't fucking want to hand that one over.
Buck smirks, like he's caught the crack, and is looking for ways to exploit it.
"I own my own house!" Tommy says, and it's a terrible launching point but Buck latches on.
"You just left, Tommy! I know I jumped the gun, Tommy, but you didn't even - you just left! I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I didn't know I was into men until you. I'm sorry you had to be my first, I'm sure that must have been such a burden for you."
"That's not fair."
"You didn't even give me a chance. That was - I'm so angry with you, Tommy. I'm so fucking mad."
"I know."
"But that's what you planned for, right? That's - you ripped the bandaid, Tommy, except there's a whole fucking untreated stab wound right underneath and it's still bleeding, Tommy."
"Did you even make this round of cupcakes with your niece?" It's better to keep his family's names out of his mouth. Just keep those ties cut.
Buck looks livid. "No, you idiot, I whipped up a tiny batch of this recipe just for the excuse to see you and - and tell you what a stupid, awful coward you are."
"That's not f-." He isn't sure whether Buck is being facetious about the small batch thing or not. He doesn't have any time to think about it.
"My sister and Chim are having another baby. Bobby and Athena are probably gonna host Christmas this year. Eddie shaved off the mustache and he's, like, dancing now, I guess. Hen and Karen are good for the first time in -." He shakes his head. Stares at Tommy. Tommy can't quite hide from that gaze. "We were good, Tommy. We were - you loved me."
He'd never said the words. Neither had Evan, but they'd both known. Both felt it. Tommy let it go too far, did it scared for longer than he usually would.
"It's not like that just went away when I walked out, Evan," Tommy hisses, and then regrets it immediately.
Evan has spent most of this visit pushing, pressing, digging fingers into the wound to make it hurt.
Evan goes silent now, reeling back a little. He seems shocked that Tommy had admitted it.
"I want you to go," Tommy says. "I need you to go, Buck."
It was the right dagger the first time, but apparently it's only effective once.
"I love you too, you know." His voice is soft. Tommy can't meet his eye. "And I hate you. I hate you even though I know that's what you wanted but I love you too much to not hate you out of spite."
Tommy knows if he caves it's done. He's signing himself over to whatever fucked thing will end them a week, a month, five years, two decades from now.
"Go home, Buck. Hate me there."
---
He goes in for the kill.
"I called Abby, two nights ago."
Right for the jugular. No survivors.
"She laughed for like twenty minutes, and then she tried to get me to chat about our sex life for comparison, and then she was shocked silent for a full minute when I wouldn't." Because Evan had always been a little too open about those details. "She also told me she forgave you but she doesn't think you ever forgave yourself."
Tommy agrees. For all that they'd been terrible for each other, they'd known how the hell to take care of one another like no one's business.
"I want you to go," Tommy says, steady, quiet, nearly a snark for how deep his voice goes to hide the tremor in it.
Buck cocks a hip against the doorframe. "I want my sweatshirt."
The breath that escapes him is shaky, but her think he hides most of it behind the hand over his face, the finger pinched at the bridge of his nose.
"I can't do this."
"Exactly how many men and women do I have to fuck before you believe the future I'm looking at is with you?"
"All of them! None! It was a stupid thing to say and it's not what I meant and I can't do this."
Buck spins on his heel. Grabs the box he'd set aside and hefts it up into his arms. "I'm coming back for my sweatshirt," he says. "You let me know whether you want to talk about the data points of the sexuality spreadsheet or about us."
"There is no us, Buck." His voice sounds defeated even to himself.
"If that was true you'd just give me the stupid sweater and be done."
Tommy sits in silence. He does not get up to retrieve the hoodie. Buck is still angry, but his smile is wide and bashful.
Tommy listens to his footsteps trail down the hall, towards the door, out of it. He hears the Jeep's ignition catch, the wheels roll off the drive.
He realizes he'd left the goddamn Jeep manual open on the timing belt page, right there on his side table where he'd pointed out the things he wanted Evan to take to clear him from his life.
---
There is someone knocking at his door.
Tommy doesn't quite ignore it.
He hid the sweatshirt in one of his toolbox drawers when Evan texted him this morning to let him know he'd be over with a six pack and a pot of chili.
There's a zero percent chance Evan's getting that sweatshirt back, tonight.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fix it#not quite#theyre playing a game#but once these idiots lose the game they'll probably win#with each other#tevan fic
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September 29, 2023
Someday, I'm gonna live
In your house up on the hill
And when your skinhead neighbor goesâ
missing
I'llâ
plant a gardenâ
in the yard then
They're gluing rosesâ
on a flatbed
You should see it, I mean thousands
I grew up here 'til it all went up in flames
Except the notches in the door frame
I don't know when you got taller
See our reflection in the water
Off a bridge at the Huntington
I hopped the fence when I was seventeen
Then I knew what I wanted
And when I grow up, I'm gonna look up
From my phone and see my life
And it's gonna be just like my recurring dream
I'm at the movies, I don't remember what I'm seeing
The screen turns into a tidal wave
Then it's a dorm room, like a hedge maze
And when I find you
You touch my leg and I insist
But I wake up before we do it
I don't know how, but I'm taller
It must be something in the water
Everything's growing in our garden
You don't have to know that it's haunted
The doctor put her hands over my liver
She told me my resentment's getting smaller
No, I'm not afraid of hard work
I get everything I want
I have everything I wanted
#todayâs vibes#what a day what a day#I was like a drowned little mouse crossing rivers in the streets today#the video wasnât even the worst of it#but this song is so beautiful#and it makes me feel happy even if this week has been really hard
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Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.
Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.
#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it#i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like#and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day#so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like#'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now'#i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times#also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so#and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?'#and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently#im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore#unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough#they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort#chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain#ndr#not dog related#health stuff#not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out#im not crazy im just disabled!!!!#*been
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In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.
When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.
One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.
Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.
The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.
There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.
â€
#answered#this was sitting in my inbox for a little while#and i wanted to answer properly but i fear that responding back is a little...hard#not that i dont want to its more like this was so prettily written and just so beautiful i fear if i responded id just ruin it lol#so im responding in the tags bc i feel better about doing that#i appreciate whoever decided to write all this up and leave it here for me it means a lot#more vent in the tag#not really vent but ig just reflective i suppose with the last week:#i think i may have actually talked about it before but you have no idea how happy i am with just. the people im surrounded with these days#because even if im going through something ill always push my feelings down in order to make someone else happy#because idc what happens to me overall. if i can make someone else happy thats all that matters#but ik a lot of people take advantage of it so when something bad happens when im unable to help someone they used to get mad at me for it#so more reasons to kinda push my feelings aside to cater to them etc etc etc#but i think the past week has been nice too in realizing that the people around me are patient and just overall kind -- not really expectin#much of me#ig theres this understanding that we all have busy lives now and maybe thats just the gift of maturity as a whole#even if im not the super positive or comforting presence people put me as at least people still care and thats how i know im loved at least#ig in a way this ramble is just a very big thank you to everyone for that#theres a lot of kindness and warmth in this ask that i appreciate and only want to spin back to friends. i hope they can feel it#or that it reaches them#anons#kind messages
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đ§ź
#talking into the void time#talking out loud has been really difficult for me recently. my mind can't grasp the words and i struggle a lot.#i probably should start reading books in FINNISH i consume too much english media :/#i forget even simple words and phrases and it's hard to communicate especially in group projects where you should be... coherent#talking feels more like im playing alias. Im trying to describe things with poor grammar sound effects and hand gestures rrrr#could also be fatigue#this is something that frustrates me a lot because im already a bit chaotic in the way i speak and think#so im definitely not making it easier for others#smtimes even the idea of trying to explain things makes me so exhausted that i just give up like 'the thought is in me but i cant talk rn'#my head hurts from biting my teeth together đ#mmm what else#I'm so happy spring is almost here the sun has been so warm lately#breast lump appointment this week. I hope it's nothing '-'
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ăGo on and Love Meă
àšà§ â ê° male!reader | he/his prounouns | Sagau | Genshinimpact
àšà§ â ê° Streamer!Reader who gets sidetracked by people's donations/chats making the genshin characters feel jealous
Ft. Xiao, Wanderer, Kinich, Traveler
A/n: inspired by la2yn0va hsr fic
X I A O
(Name) happily smiled at another donation sent to him after recently completing a natlan quest
"Thanks for the 20 bits donation!"
He thanked the chat with a wide smile, the chat which was filled with people commenting every second flooding the entire screen making (Name) shift his focus to answer their questions about himself.
This cute interaction made (Name) feel warm and lovely in the inside, being able to interact with fans who admired him.
You know who wasn't happy? A dark headed male inside a screen wasn't that happy unlike (Name). Why were these people gifting you so low? Most of all why was (Name)'s attention not on him anymore?
He had to pull alot of strings to make his own crit rise up since (Name)'s luck on the Vermilion domain was absolutely dog shit.
(Name) â Hm? My favorite character in genshin?
Xiao â You called?
Xiao unintentionally blurted that out without any thoughts whatsoever, but when he did realize and saw (Name)'s confused face along with the chat going wild.
Without any choice Xiao did his idle animation to hide his face away from you, he used his mask so that Xiao won't face you for a while since he was in a very vulnerable state
(Name) â New mail? Sweet 300 primos!
(Chat) â Fr? I didn't get any new mail from hoyo yet.
(Name) â Well.. Free primos is free primos
If (Name)'s happy then he'll rest easy today. Hopefully no rumors circulate about what happened earlier.. Self aware fanfics are crazy these days.
W A N D E R E R
Wanderer stared at (Name) blankly, he was too busy thanking people with countless of donations to even realize they were still in a boss fight farming material's for upcoming characters.
Wanderer became (Name)'s fan ever since he saw him at that temporary event named 'Unreconciled Stars Event Quest The Crisis Deepens'.
Smug mf since he made (Name) hit hard pity for him. But was kind enough to give you his c1 after 140 wishes
(Chat) â Why don't you change your main (Streamer Name)?
An irk mark appears on Wanderer's face but wasn't that visible on screen.
Is this swine telling (Name) to replace him with someone else? Hard pass. He was already stolen from (Name)'s attention and now these nobody's are trying to persuade him into maining some other weak random than him.
Just so happen that (Name) spotted a chest nearby and happily went over to open it, Wanderer took this opportunity immediately
(Wanderer) â Unnecessary.
(Chat) â Is it just me or is his voice rougher than usual?
Damn right it's rougher since he just wanted to vent his anger out on any enemies on sight
The chat won't know but what he had said was directly targeted at them, if only he could say every insult known to man right now
So (Name), keep your eyes on him only and no one else, then maybe he'll make his attacks stronger if you comply
(Name) â Well to answer your question earlier chat, no I don't think I'll be changing my main anytime soon. Wanderer's pretty fun to play with.
After (Name) finished talking he took a closer look at Wanderer's face, but his eyes swore Wanderer had a tad bit of pink on his cheeks
His eyes must've been starting to break with the amount of streaming his doing
T R A V E L E R
(Name) had just began to prep for his stream of the week and now he was currently adjusting the Traveler's artifacts to try out a new build
You know what's crazy though? His builds are pretty shitty.
He has the absolute worst luck in artifacts plus in leveling up pieces, most of which usually goes to defense or HP%
But he still hits about 800k regularly with the Traveler! How could he do such thing with only 44.6% Crit rate!?
(Chat) â 1 MILLION?? (Name) are you doing hacks?
(Name) â What? No! Guess my Traveler's just really op
The Traveler is a smug motherfucker
Of course the Traveler wouldn't hit such high numbers without using a...slight adjustment to the system
Sure their pieces are pretty bad but they'll accept anything (Name) had given them! How could they just shake off his hard work on griding for their ascension and talents?
Whenever the Traveler sees (Name)'s shocked expression during the massive crit's appearing on his screen they are damn right happy and overjoyed they managed to satisfy their grace!
(Chat) â Your builds are bad af tho lolol
(Chat) â Why main the Traveler? They're a pretty bad character to main, you should go for Nuevillete or Alhaitham.
The Traveler's good mood immediately faded into dust once he saw the chats text
Are those no lifers saying that they're not fit to be (Name)'s vessel? They're the most perfect one!
What could Nuevillete or whatever character have that they don't? Could they switch elements? Don't think so
If they wanted bigger numbers, the Traveler will show them big numbers all right, if you want them to hit 10 million they're gonna make it happen with just one click
(Name) â Thanks for the suggestion chat but I'm going to stick with the Traveler, I'm already wayyy too attached
The Traveler's mood once again took a 360 and smiled softly at what (Name) said to them, their stomachs fluttering with delight
(Name) is attached to them? No other compliment or praise could ever reach what the Traveler was feeling at the very moment
Their grace! Oh their grace... If only they could just grab onto you and drag you here where you rightfully belong
K I N I C H
Kinich is an upcoming playable character but many in the genshin community have fallen head over heels for him
Yet he couldn't careless about them, after all just being near (Name)'s presence even though it's just by the Traveler's vessel already makes him nice and comfortable
(Name) â Day 10 of saving up for Kinich let's goo
(Chat) â Woah already 200 wishes? You're quick man
(Name) â Can't help it lmao, Kinich seems fun to play and he's really pretty!
(Chat) â He seem's boring though
(Chat) â Dude the dialouge is slightly glitching wtf
The dialouge's glitching is caused by Kinich's embarrassment and rage, he was previously just about to talk till he heard (Name) sing praises about him! How could he not accidentally stutter and mess up the dialouge!?
But on the other hand, the hell did that person meant by he was boring? He wasn't even released yet! This caused Kinich to panic mentally if whether or not you'll change your mind about pulling for him
He stared at you from the screen, clenching his fists tighter by the second. Just a small bit more... Just one more step and he'll be released, then he could really be by your side now.
(Name) â Aw man, hold on chat I gotta pause the stream to fix this glitching
(Name) eventually had to exit the game to try and see what the problem was with his device or if it was overheating again
Meanwhile Kinich was still standing there re-adjusting his thoughts about what just happened. His feelings were all a mixed bag at this point, he sighed rubbing his temples slowly
Ajaw eventually came to his side while looking at him weirdly like he had done something wrong
(Ajaw) â Wow.. Just wow
(Kinich) â Shut up...
To rightfully apologized the system eventually sent 10 wishes in (Name)'s game mail which he was confused at first but eh, more wishes for c6 knich!
Once he becomes playable Kinich would definitely spoil (Name) with high numbers and crit's. He would just have to deal with Ajaw's yapping in the meantime..
So don't get distracted over what those 'Chat' people say about him!
A/n: likes and reblogs are appreciated! Have a nice day(ïŸÂŽăźÂŽ)ïŸ*: ïŸ
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#reader insert#x reader#genshin x male reader#genshin au#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin x reader#x male reader#kinich#Xiao#Traveler#wanderer#yandere genshin impact#genshin cult au#self aware#genshin self aware au#male reader insert#male reader#xiao x reader#aether x reader#lumine x reader#kinich x reader#wanderer x reader#genshin impact x you#self aware genshin
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the brain better figure out a way to fix this shit real quick or idk what is going to happen honestly. i feel very sick
#counseling appt tomorrow (well today now lol.) and it is very hard for me to not ask to be put in psych ward#i would be free from spiders there. they would feed me meals. i would be given sleep meds#i would still be able to kill myself or hurt myself bc they're so shitty abt safeguarding things there but I'd at least have ppl around#i feel really sick and really awful#i just cannot stop having my heart pounding from anxiety and its been all day and I'm so tired#i dont want to do this anymore#i feel like im going to die from all this honestly even if i dont kill myself fjfkdl like this has to be taking a toll on the body#idk ! i would honestly go to psych ward tomorrow if i could but unfortunately my mother is an issue lmao#i hate that the ward feels like the safest place rn i hate that i dont have a safe home i hate this house I want out of here#im trapped and stuck and even if i filled out all the applications for everything possible tonight i would still be stuck here for weeks#at least weeks lmao its more likely months to even potentially like... 2+ years#and theres no way out !!!!! i dont know what to do. im very scared#sorry im just. really reaching the end of my rope and ik I've said that a lot lately but this isnt even pmdd rn#this is just me rn fjfldl no fucked up hormones at play#im very afraid and i feel very sick and i cannot sleep and i just feel like i want to go home and when i question myself on that-#-i think of the psych ward as the place i want to go and thats rly bad fjfldl thats rly rly bad that that is what my brain wants#okay I'll stop now sorry#i hope everyone else is doing okay fjfkdl i am glad ppl exist and live their lives and have ppl around them#it makes me very happy that other ppl are real and alive and are doing okay#idk . im tired. i hope i can sleep soon and i hope my heart stops acting up. i hope the holter monitor on thurs can get me help for this#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw
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OBSESSED: CHOSO
A/N: A short series of how our JJK boyfriends would act when theyâre utterly deranged about you! Enjoy!
C/W: Premature Ejac, Mature. 18+
Choso thought it would get better. And it has gotten exponentially worse.
You and Choso have been exclusive for two weeks now. Two whole weeks. And he still canât keep his libido in check.
His stupid brain.
His empty, stupid, caveman brain.
Itâs criminal, how quickly and how often it finds new things about you to be turned on by.
The way you sigh. The falsetto in your voice when you say âHi baby!â. How your hair falls out of the messy pony tail. How you hold your fucking coffee cup and take baby sips to avoid burning your tongue.
God, your tongue.
Your lips. Your eyes, eyelashes. Every single strand on your head is boner material and itâs driving him insane.
You smile at him and heâs rock hard in his pants. Counting down the minutes until he can finally fist himself.
Choso grips the gear so hard his wrist might snap in half.
âAlmost there?â You ask. Sugar on your voice like cotton candy.
âAlmost there, baby.â Words feel like nails against his dry windpipe.
Heâs tried everything. Cold showers. Long walks. Scolding himself. Slapping his dick over and over and over to try and replace some of the pleasure with pain. But nothing works.
Itâs a sick joke.
My shy, quiet boyfriend. You always tease him.
If only you knew a category 5 hurricane of filthy rot constantly decimates his brain.
Quiet because he is always biting metallic into his mouth to keep from moaning. Or saying something vile.
If he had it his way, heâd follow you around with his hand on his dick. At least it would feel honest. Not like how heâs mastered quietly cumming in his pants whenever you nestle in his lap or lean over him to get something.
You want to go slow and heâs happy to. Really. Because at this point heâd finish just rubbing against your pretty petals.
Heâs needy. Heâs desperate. And he has no idea how to fix it.
Or if he wants to fix it.
His mind floats back to the one time you let him eat your pussy. 2 minutes in.
No thatâs fucking generous.
1 minute in and he was holding a pool of his own cum in his hand like a pathetic, pervert. And the way you laughed when he stammered the sorry explanation made him hard all over again.
You two finally make it to dinner and he beelines for the bathroom.
Thanking every Diety known to Man for gender neutral, single use stalls. He clumsily unbuckles his belt and his rod springs free.
His head hits the cold wall behind him. His hand tugs on autopilot.
âSo fucking pretty,â he murmurs to himself.
His hips buck upward and collide with his fist, over and over and over again. Heat swells from his balls. His pre cum leaks in a constant stream from his thick, blunt tip.
âChoso?â A light voice ripples through his mind and his hand flies off his angry, abused cock.
âY-yes, princess?â
ïżœïżœLet me in!â And he immediately obliges. He canât tell you no. He canât even hesitate.
âBaby! Whatâs wrong?â Concern etched all over your face. His expression must be as miserable as he feels.
Your petite hand cups his face and his cock springs against his abdomen.
In his haste he forgot to fully tuck himself back in. And there his drooling dick is. Thick and proud. Pale and crimson against his black shirt.
His face flares hot. A babbling stupid mess trying to hide his perversion. Trying to stuff his oversized length away from view.
To his surprise your tiny warm hands caress his clumsy fingers. Every hair stands at attention. He freezes. Artic breeze from the over head AC stops him in his tracks.
Your gazes collide. Your doe eyes and blown out pupils make his balls ache. You guide his hand to your neck line and help him tug it down. Enough so that your pierced, plump nipples spill over the top. Fully exposed for him to gawk at.
âNnhhgh..â a stupid unintelligible moan escapes him. Slack-jawed idiot. His brain is scrambled to mush.
âSuck.â The tiny command from your gorgeous lips and frame 10x smaller than his unravels him.
He eagerly obeys. Wrapping his lips around your metal clad nipple. Groaning and gripping at your other breast, in a desperate display.
âAwwâ you giggle at his pitiful moans and sucks.
He starts humping the air between your bodies. Heâs so embarrassed but he canât stop.
Rutting against nothing except the mere thought of being able to maybe one day handle the friction of your flesh.
âFuck, oh fuckâ he rasps out switching to your other nipple. Your hands weave into his hair. Electric shoots through his cock from his balls and he is so close. So close.
âStop.â One word and he comes to a razor sharp end. Pulling off you. Submitting to your whims.
But not in time. His cock spurts thick, hot white ropes of cum against his black shirt. Eyes slammed shut. Mortified at his ruined orgasm.
Your lips pull up in a beautiful smile. One that cuts his stupid short refractory period in half.
He will do anything you tell him to. Anything.
âDonât bother cleaning up, handsome! Letâs go finish dinner.â Youâre light hearted and giggling and flutter out the door before him.
His face is flushed blood red. He stares down at his cum stained shirt. Absolutely humiliated.
Youâll be the death of him.
Itâs perfect.
#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk fanart#choso kamo#jjk fanfic#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#choso x you#choso smut#jjk choso#choso x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#choso x female reader#choso fanart#gojo satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jujutsu choso#choso jjk#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#smut#jjk season 2#jjk fluff#jjk satoru#nanami smut#geto smut
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first ultrasound with gojo (love entries) headcanons?â€ïž
àż àż đ°ïž ă 12:55 P.M ă
*sigh* why am i so weak to domestic requests... this is just a little thing i wrote in one sitting while stalling my nanami fic (and after coming back from the company retreat!) sobs, i'm going back to it i promise!! :')) this loosely takes place after daddy-to-be <3
a part of gojo's love entries
ânow let us seeâŠâ
you were lying on the examination table as the ultrasound gel made contact with your still flat abdomen. the sheer coldness and the way the probe pressed hard on your skin made you wince a bit, until that discomfort was eased by a comforting squeeze of your hand, prompting you to turn your head towards the source.
your husband, gojo satoru, offered you a smile so warm it made everything else fade into the background. beyond his sunglasses was the way he always fondly looked at you, as if he was silently assuring you that he would be by your side every step of this journey.
you couldn't help but smile back at him.
âah, hereâs the baby,â your doctor gestured at the monochrome screen with a grin. âaround five weeks now. itâs the size of a seed.â
a seed? your gaze fixed on the screen with a sense of wonder. honestly you couldnât really pinpoint where your baby was, until you saw one dot that the doctor zoomed in.
and there it wasâthe tiny beginning of life. the product of you and your husbandâs love, growing steadily inside you.
suddenly it felt so real that you were carrying a new life. your heart overflowed with warmth, swelling with emotion, and you struggled to hold back tears as your gaze shifted between the screen and satoru, who offered you a comforting pat on the head.
âhush,â he whispered softly, seemingly moved too after looking at the living testament of his baby on the screen. âdonât cry now, hmm?â
after seeing the sonogram and had it printed, both of you sat before the doctor as she instructed you to take things easy from now on, and through it all, satoru held your hand firmly in his, attentively listening to everything the doctor mentioned and even proactively asking questions in return.
âdoc, she gets dizzy and nauseous easily, can you prescribe her something to make it bearable?â
âi can certainly prescribe some anti-sickness medication, but i highly recommend you to have plenty of rests and eat healthy food too to reduce morning sicknessââ
âhmm, and can you recommend anything to improve sleep? she can have trouble sleeping tooâŠâ
honestly it touched you to see satoru picked up on these little things about you despite being away so often. only now did you realize that he had always been watching over you, without fail.
back at home, he sat you down on your bed, back to being a carefree clown who would draw laughs out of you.
ânow, little mom,â he began, his lips already turning up into a grin as he took your hands in his, kneeling before you. âyou need to listen to me very closely, okay?â
you snorted. âdon't address me like that!â
âuh-oh, no squirming,â satoru warned playfully, pinching your cheeks, and you swatted his hand, holding back giggles.
oh my. just what a blissfully happy couple you were.
âfirst thing first, now you are to have lots of breaks and rest,â he declared, amusement melted a bit from his tone. âthe doctor said so. it'll help with your nausea too. if you feel the slightest bit unwell, you have to go back and rest.â
you rolled your eyes. âyeah, yeah...â
âand no staying up late too,â he added, fixing his clear eyes on yours. âespecially not for waiting for me to be home.â
that got you to clamp up. so he noticed it too, the way you would always wait for him, even at the cost of not sleeping at all. satoru never really said anything all this time, but now you knew, he was indeed worried.
once again, your chest burst with love and warmth. but still...
âcan you promise me that?â satoru asked you gently, his smile still in place, but you knew the underlying command behind those words. âi'm coming back. always. i have everything i want here, with you. there's no way i'm not coming back.â
you hung onto his every word, and much like spellbound, you let go of everything and nodded.
âand now baby...â
he then shifted his focus to your tummy, gently brushing his fingers across it, and the gesture stirred something inside you, making you throb with emotion.
âyou only have one job. grow big and healthy, and you can even bother mama sometimes! just don't make her too sick or i'll worry...â
somehow your vision blurred with tears, hearing how unusually earnest he was. âsatoru, you're so silly.â
but as always, he would pick this moment to flip the switch, reverting back to his usual teasing.
âhmm, what's that? you're getting soft now, aren't you, mommy~?â
â...why do you have to sound like that? you're making it lewd on purpose!â
in this little world of love of yours, it was just you and him, along with the tales of your life together. you had weathered various moments side by side, and now, as you were embarking on another significant chapter with him, you were certain that everything would be alright.
satoru pulled you to the bed and smothered your head with kisses, trapping you between his strong arms. âhmm, comfy now?â
âmmm, yeah. keep cuddling me...â
and from his side, he was sure, that right now, everything had never been and felt so right than ever beforeâwith the love of his life and future in his arms.
#đđđŁđ đđđĄđđđđ #gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff
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Annoying
Oscar Piastri x Norris!Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: You and Oscar tend to get on your brotherâs nerves when you show PDA. Here are a few instances of that.
Word count: 700+
The first time it happened, it was a weekend off from racing, so you, Lando and Oscar decided to spend some time together and hang out. Yâall are currently playing Mario Kart and you are beating both of them. âFor guys who drive race cars for a living, yâall suck at Mario Kart.â You tease them. Lando rolled his eyes and Oscar laughed at you. âOh hush.â He retorted.
After you beat them once again, you decide to eat some takeout for dinner and watch a movie. You and Oscar are cuddled up on one couch while Lando is on the other. He looks over to see Oscar peppering your face in kisses. âIâm gonna vomit.â He says out loud and you start laughing. Oscar is soon to follow with the laughing. âIs someone feeling lonely over there?â You ask your brother teasingly. He rolls his eyes âNo, but I still donât want to see that.â He says with disgust.
âOh boo. I just want to show my girlfriend some affection.â Oscar tells him. You giggle as him and Lando go back and forth with each other, all in friendly banter. âDo you plan on staying the night?â You ask Lando. He thinks about it for a moment and says he is going to. You get up and get the guest room ready.
~On a race day~
Another time you annoyed your brother was on a race day. You are standing in front of Oscar, he has his arms around your waist and his head resting on top of yours. Yâall really arenât doing anything to crazy but Lando makes a gagging noise and pulls you away from Oscar. âNo touching. I donât want to see that.â You suppress a laugh and tell him to get over it. You go back to Oscar and give him a hug. They get called to go to their cars.
You lean up and give him a kiss and wish him good luck. You go to give Lando a hug and he is glaring at Oscar. âCalm down Lando, heâs my boyfriend and we are going to kiss.â âI still donât like it. Youâre my little sister, youâre not supposed to be kissing anybody.â He mutters. You shake your head and wish him good luck. You know he is giving you a hard time and doesnât mean any harm by it.
~Time skip~
Today marks the two year anniversary since you and Oscar started dating. You are a little upset because Oscar has to work and is in another country at the moment. He called you earlier to say happy anniversary and it made you so happy. You go about your day and around dinner, you hear a knock on the door. Lando is standing there with a bouquet of flowers. âSpecial delivery.â He says. You laugh at him, knowing Oscar put him up to this. âI thought yâall were gonna be gone all week? And how much did he pay you to do this?â
âWe got done early and moved some stuff around and he didnât have to pay me anything. Just promised to keep the PDA to a minimum around me.â He teased. You rolled your eyes at him. âSo where is Oscar right now?â You ask. âJust get ready to go. We are leaving in an hour.â He tells you. You put the flowers in a vase and hurry to get ready.
An hour later and Lando is taking you to the spot you and Oscar had your first official date. He is standing on the overlook with a blanket and a basket. You thank your brother and get out to go to Oscar. When you reach him, you pull him into a kiss âHappy anniversary, baby!â You say. âHappy anniversary!â
Lando rolls down the window, âIâm still here. Would it kill you two to wait till Iâm gone?â He teased. You shrug your shoulders. âIt actually might dear brother. Now go away, I want to spend some time with Oscar today.â He waves and drives off. âEven after all this time weâve been together, the slightest amount of PDA still annoys him.â Oscar laughs at your comment. âI donât think that will change.â He responds and you agree. Dinner goes well and you watch the sunset together before you head back home for the night.
#f1#formula 1#f1 imagine#oscar piastri#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastry x norris!reader
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DPXDC: I wanna be like most girls ghosts.
or Danny: What should I do to make my mom happy?
or ~Danny deserves a little teenage rebellion as a treat~
Maddie: I just want this damned Phantom to stop pretending to be a hero! All ghosts are pure evil, who is he trying to deceive? Danny: Oh, really? And Danny took it personally.
Itâs not Dannyâs fault that heâs a good kid and wants to make his parents happy. But why would he have to be a monster to make them happy? Why must they hate him to be happy?
Dannyâs obsession was going crazy.
Well, when your own parents call you a monster in the face, it hurts. Why do they always believe that only their opinion is the absolute truth? They have no idea how much worse things would be if at least some of the ghosts really behaved the way Maddie and Jack think theyâre supposed to. If he really is evil by nature, is there any point in fighting his own fate? They want to see him as a villain, he will become one. He will. He just needs a little help and practice. And not bring it to the level when Clockwork has to clean up his mess. Poor guy is without a vacation for how long? Couple of millennia?
Johnny 13: Sup. Danny: F*ck off, Johnny, Iâm not in the mood. Busy thinking about world domination. Get out of here or Iâll call Kitty. Johnny 13: Whatâs wrong? Youâre usually so grouchy only towards the end of the week. Danny: Nothing. Just parents. Again. They are wonderful but I canât help but feel sometimes that they, em⊠Johnny 13: Suck? Danny: RightâŠDamn. Iâm a terrible son. Maybe something is wrong with me. Johnny 13: What? No, no, dude. Youâre just growing up. And youâre a little late, usually teenagers go through that stage before they graduate. Well, youâve probably been busy with other issues, so just missed it. Danny: I wonder whose fault it is. Arenât there ghosts who enjoyed to ruin my life in the middle of school day?
Johnny 13: Oh, bother. Anyway, youâre entering a beautiful time of emancipation, where youâre going to shape your own view of life and, along the way, to get drunk on cheap alcohol at parties, maybe to go to jail and to become the greatest disappointment to your family..And then you will be ashamed to remember it for about the next ten years. Danny: Well, it looks like Iâve already done two out of three additional things. Great success. Johnny 13: When did you get drunk? Danny: I didnât. Johnny 13: Oh. Want to fix that? Danny: What? No. What an idiot wants to add a headache to his problems? Johnny 13: Well, your loss, then Iâll go terrorize the bars of Gotham alone and no one can stop me. Letâs see what your boyfriend will say about it. ~~~~~ Danny: Bartender, another shot of Dead Manâs Fingers, please. Red Hood: Babe, havenât you had enough? Danny: Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sacrifices you make, in their eyes youâll always be nothing more than a monster? Nothing more than a mistake? Oh, Death doesnât give people like me a break. Red Hood: âŠIâll have what heâs having. *gives the bartender a sign to switch the rum shots to a batburger milkshake for them, and starts talking to Danny so that he doesnât understand Hood's scams*
~~~~~
Johnny 13: Other peopleâs kids are growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday he didnât know how to shoot ectoblast, and now.. Kitty: Stop trying to make me feel bad, weâre leaving. Johnny 13: But the boy needs our support, honey boo!
~~~~~
Danny: I'm fine. Really, I am. This isnât the first time momâs called me a monster. She often called me that when she was upset with my behavior in my childhood. Huh, it's even funny. Jason: Thereâs nothing funny about that. Danny: No, you donât understand. Looking back, I was really a very active child and didnât know when to stop. Not surprisingly that I often annoyed my parents. Theyâre very busy people, and Jazz couldnât always keep an eye on me. And I was often afraid to go to sleep alone because there were shadows in the darkness of my room. Well, I used to think they were. But I pretended everything was okay to not distract parents from work. Jason: Hey, itâs not your fault. You were a child. Obviously, kiddo requires a lot of attention, they must have understood that. You are the second child in the family, right? Danny: Well, Jazz was different. I donât know. Anyway, I thought if the monsters behind the curtain and under the bed were just like me, well, according to my mom, you know, then they wouldnât want to hurt me. And since they look after me, they are friends. So I kinda greeted all the suspicious noises and howls. Huh, I was a strange kid. Jason: If you smile at someone in the dark alley right now that someone is more likely to wet themselves or faint. Danny: Rude! Iâm not that scary. Admit that Iâm adorable. Do it right now. Jason: Stunning, darling. But still carry a gun and a knife, please. My childhood taught me that what's hiding in the dark is worth beating up. Danny: Come on, what should I be afraid of? Death? Anyway, I want to try this shit. Like, the inevitable one. Being a bad boy, you know? Hood *raises eyebrows*. Danny: Oh damn it man, I'm talking about ghostliness. I want to try to be like most of dead ones. I want to unleash my side of the trickster and the villain. But only a little bit. I have to be supervised so that things don't go too far. Would you help me, honey?
~~~~~2 hours later~~~~
~~~~~
Goons used to expect a lot of weirdness from working with the boss.
Sometimes Bruce Wayne would go into their base and yell at the Red Hood like he's one of his kids. Of course Wayne's well-known as 'Gotta adopt them all' but the guy must really suffer from insomnia to count the Red Hood into his brood of chicks several times. Sometimes the boss would fight Robin or Nightwing over differences in moralsâŠor for biscuits. It varied from moment to moment. Sometimes the boss caught the local street children, fed them and taught them to steal correctly. And most of the foundlings stayed with them under their protection.
To make a long story short, Red Hood is not the typical crime lord that some of them had to deal with before. Which is a blessing. Thanks Lord for the health insurance. But still the crime lord. Which means he's still scary, and sometimes deadly.
Anyway, when the boss brought in a guy who looked more civilian than any civilian in the whole Gotham and said he was going to be their intern, they thought it was a joke at first. Despite the fact that Hood was not in the habit of joking while working.
The teenager was too well-mannered and sweet to come from Crime Alley. Phil thought the guy was gonna run when he saw the first murder, Jessica didnât think the domestic boy wouldnât chicken out at the sight of a fight. But arguing with a bossâs orders in their profession is like asking for a bullet in the head, so these conversations were taking place outside of their boss's sight. God, how can they teach him anything? What do you take from a boy whoâs only good to do the coffee run? Fenton will fall if theyâll give him something heavier than 10 pounds. And then boss will yell at them because he treats the new guy like a princess on a pea. Well, at least thatâs what they thought until the boss decided to give the new guy his own assignments:
~~~~~
Red Hood: So, what have you learned during your internship, my young Padawan? Danny: Well, it looks like Iâm gonna suck at being a criminal mastermind. I think I may have to find myself some other profession. Red Hood: Come on, you just need a little more practice. Danny: Thank you but I donât think thatâs fit my obsession that good. Don't misunderstand me, I wanna be like most ghosts. But I was wrong to go to hit that goal only base on human stereotypes about my nature. Red Hood: What a pity. The newbies just learned not to flinch when you walk in. But, to be honest, I'm not gonna miss the adrenaline-boosting roller coaster of you at work. Danny: Oh, and I guess to hold on to the concept of humanity was really stupid too. I clearly no longer fit in and Iâm finally ready to accept that. So, hopefully, if you get into trouble, you can rely on my ghostliness and call for help. I am the spirit of many talents and of my word. I can haunt your enemies or walk through the walls of Arkham Asylum. Whatever you need, Iâll be here. Red Hood: Iâll bear that in mind.
#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc crossover#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dead on main#dead on main ship#alcohol
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hey!! I'd love to see one where maybe jack and hotch try speaking to the baby in pregnant!reader's tummy :))
thank you for requesting! fem, 1k
You sniff Aaronâs hair. Itâs your right as his wife to enjoy his smells. Youâre too tired for subtlety. âYou know how many weeks I am today?â you ask.Â
Youâre in a bubble together. Aaron answers with his usual calm tenor. âYou are twenty seven weeks today, honey.âÂ
Itâs endearing that he knows. Itâs nice to have found a good one. To never have to worry about compassion or care. Which isnât to say heâs perfect, he makes wrong decisions, and he disappoints you sometimes, but still, heâs a good one. You arenât perfect either and you donât have to be, all you need to do is love and respect one another as much as is physically possible, and you do. Â
âMm,â you hum, drawing a heart into his arm, âand you know what they say around this time?âÂ
âIâm not sure.âÂ
âShe can hear you, if you want to talk to her.âÂ
âReally?âÂ
âThatâs what I read earlier on. That if you talk to her through my stomach, she can probably hear your voice. By full term sheâll have hearing like me and you.âÂ
âIs that true?â he asks, resting his hand on your bump. Sometimes when the baby is in a bad mood and her foot feels like itâs making a bruise through your skin, all Aaron has to do is touch you, and she stops.Â
âWell, according to the baby book. They say by twenty nine weeks itâs a sure thing.âÂ
âCan I speak to her?âÂ
You brush through his hair with your pinky nail. âSure, sweetheart. You can talk to her all night long, Iâm sure sheâd love to hear your voice.â You push the hair from his forehead. âI like hearing you talk.âÂ
âLay back,â he says.Â
Aaron sits up and you lay down, your head in the pillows, your pregnancy cushion a support on your left side. He slides your t-shirt up slowly as though giving you time to say no. He begins to rub slow circles around the bump, before laying his head flat to he bed, his lip less than two inches from your distended tummy.Â
âHi, baby,â he says, unabashed. âHow are you feeling?âÂ
You laugh. He peeks up at you.Â
âSorry, itâs just funny.âÂ
âItâs okay. Iâd laugh if you started asking my stomach questions tooâŠâ He smiles. âBut my babyâs in there, so youâll have to forgive me.âÂ
âI wonât laugh again, promise.âÂ
âItâs fine if you do. Iâm finding it hard to take myself seriously.â He slows his rubbing. âBaby, if you can hear me, please say hi⊠I love you. Iâm so happy youâre getting bigger.âÂ
The longer he talks, the less funny it becomes. His melodic murmuring turns praising, he talks of you and Jack and every amazing thing waiting for the baby in the world when sheâs done cooking. He tells her he loves her, loves you, that sheâs beautiful even though sheâs shaped like a GMO kidney bean. Heâs totally relaxed. You fall in love with him all over again.Â
âAnd it looks like your big brother wants to say hi too,â he says.Â
You perk up. Footsteps rush down the hall to the master bedroom, and a knock echoes fast. Jack doesnât wait for an answer, bursting in with a happy gasp. âI knew you were still awake,â he says. âPlease can I come watch TV with you?âÂ
âSure, buddy, but we arenât watching anything right now,â Aaron says.Â
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
âIâm talking to your sister.âÂ
Jack leans against the bed, fingers screwing in Aaronâs shirt unthinkingly. âYou are?âÂ
âI read in my book today that she can maybe hear you when you talk to her,â you tell him. âWould you want to talk to her, bud?âÂ
âCan I?âÂ
âSure. I donât mind. Iâd love for you to say hello, âcos how special is that? For the last few weeks, all sheâs been able to hear is me. She doesnât know she has a whole family waiting for her.âÂ
Aaron straightens and helps Jack climb onto the bed. He settles at the pillows with you, leaning down briefly to kiss you, lips misaligned but no less gentle.Â
âWhat do I say?â Jack whispers, putting his hand carefully on your bump.Â
âYou can say anything you want,â you whisper back. âYou can say hi, or you can tell her something. The best thing about babies is that we get to teach them about everything.âÂ
âOkay, um⊠well,â âhe braces himself with two hands on your tummy and leans inâ âyou canât see, but we have a dad with brown hair and brown eyes, and we have a super pretty mommy who smiles all the time at meâŠâ Jackâs cheek tips toward his shoulder. âOn Sunday they take me to the library and we stay there all morning. And for dinner we always have, um, one hand of vegetables and one hand of chicken, or pork, or pasta. But itâs okay if you canât finish everything.âÂ
He looks at his father. âIs that okay?â he asks.Â
Aaron offers his hand. âBuddy, thatâs perfect. You can tell her anything that you want. She just wants to hear your voice.âÂ
âCan I tell her about teenage mutant ninja turtles?âÂ
You laugh. âSure,â Aaron says.Â
Jack starts to talk about Donatello. You try not to laugh as his little hands tickle you, turning your face into Aaronâs side.Â
âI have so many things to say to you right now, but Iâm worried itâs too saccharine,â he says.Â
âSave them for later,â you say, hugging his waist. âCan I nap here? Would you rub my arm?âÂ
Aaron rubs your arm as youâve asked. You fall asleep to the sound of your stepsons mumbled rambling and Aaronâs occasional breathy laugh.Â
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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Intertwined*
Paige Bueckers x Fem reader
Summary: Y/n and Paige have been broken up for a month now, and when a party comes around where they both find themselves at, feelings are revealed and its clear that they both can't seem to forget about each other.
WC: 3.2K
Warnings: 18+, smut, minor angst
(sidenote; im so obsessed with this picture UGH.)
âœââââââââââââââââ„
Godâ Y/n could feel her stare from across the room as she tried to keep up a conversation with her friend, Micheal. It was getting harder and harder to avoid Paige and her intense stares all night but y/n refused to give in because she knew thatâs exactly what she wanted- for her to acknowledge her. Y/n wasnât in the mood to speak to Paige, there was no need to really and she truly only came here to celebrate her friend's birthday then leave.Â
It has been a good month since the pair had last spoken to each other, and the image of Paige banging on her front door, begging for another chance was something permanently scarred in her mind. Y/n didnât let her in, she refused to, and told Paige to go home and forget about everything they ever had.Â
Y/n cared for Paige a lot- she truly really did. A part of her still does whether she wants to or not. Paige just screwed up a lot and no amount of apologies sheâd give would make a difference.Â
If it wasnât for Micheals birthday tonight, sheâd be at home in her bed instead. But, Michael had been her childhood friend for years and she wasnât just gonna not come just because Paige was friends with him too.Â
âYou look stunning tonight, Y/n.â Michael spoke, grabbing her hand and giving it a small peck, causing her to smile sheepishly and mumble a quiet, âThank you.âÂ
Y/n took a peek down at her glass, noticing it being basically empty as she chewed on her bottom lip, âIâm gonna go get a refill.âÂ
She slowly moved away from Micheal, making her way to the kitchen, and she felt her expression drop as she did so. Y/n felt exhausted the entire night keeping up the image that she was happy and acting as though Paige being there didnât bother her but she didnât want her to know how badly things were affecting her.
Once she was in the kitchen the music from the living room died down a bit while she searched the fridge for a new bottle of champagne.Â
âMa.â
Her eyes shot open once she heard the voice she hadn't heard in weeks, causing her to suck in a deep breath before she continued to pour her drink into her glass. Y/n was positive there was no way sheâd be able to handle a conversation with Paige, especially not tonight. This was not the right time or place to try and work things out.Â
âPaige, no.â She told her softly as she took a sip from her glass.Â
She kept her eyes down at the kitchen floor, noticing Paigeâs figure making her way closer to hers. âWeâre not doing this tonight, please.â
âI just wanted to see you.â
âYou have been seeing me this entire night, Paige.â She was directly in front of her now. She felt as if she was trapped under her frame and was too tired to push herself off.Â
Paige sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. âProperly see you. Like this. Not just from across the room.â Â
âItâs been hard though because of you trying to avoid me all night.âÂ
âPaige, I donât want to avoid you. I just donât want to cause anything on Michael's day.â She sighed, placing a hand onto Paigeâs chest to move her out of her way. âNow, if youâll please excuse me, I canât stay in the kitchen forever.âÂ
âSo thatâs just it, huh? You canât even look at me anymore?â
Y/n shut her eyes while sucking in a deep breath before turning back around as her eyes made her way up towards Paigeâs body, scanning her body, seeing she was dressed in one of her red huskies jerseys with a pair of sweats. Once her eyes finally reached her face the urge to look away grew stronger as Paigeâs stare felt more intense and intimate with each second that passed by.
âSee? Iâm looking right at you, now. Was this what you wanted? Are you pleased?â
Y/n was quick to notice Paige's expression fall at her words and she watched as she put her hair in a messy ponytail. âNo, Y/n Iâm not pleased or happy. I havenât been pleased with anything since that day.â
âPaige, donât start this.â She shook her head as she indulged in the rest of the champagne left in her glass. âYou know I did what was best for the both of us whether you like it or not. Our relationship wasnât healthy, it was bound to end eventually.âÂ
Paige scoffed, while her eyes trailed over her. âBound to end eventually, seriously? Look I know I fucked up a lot. Like a whole lot. I'm not proud of it, I know how badly I hurt you and it pains me everyday when I think about how we ended because I know things couldâve been different if I just stopped fucking up.âÂ
âI tried playing it cool and shit acting like this hadnât affected me.â She sighed before walking over and looking down at her, âSeeing you tonight, so beautiful, so gorgeous and talking to Michael and the rest of our friends as if you moved on so much, itâs been killing me horribly. Because I havenât moved on, y/n. I havenât at all.âÂ
Y/n felt her heart pounding at Paige's words. She wasnât even sure if what she was saying was the truth but a part of her hoped it was. Y/n hadnât moved on either even though sheâd try convincing herself she did, she knew she hadnât.Â
She opened up her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by Michael coming into the kitchen. He stopped before looking at the pair and letting out an awkward laugh.Â
âIs everything alright?â He asked, and y/n gave him a small smile in response. âEverythingâs okay, Mikes. Just came to get a refill and ran into Paige so we catched up a bit. I was actually just leaving to go find you.â
âIt was nice talking to you, Paige.â Y/n whispered as she slipped her way past her, feeling Paigeâs fingers lightly brush against her shoulder.
She hated how badly her body got goosebumps just from feeling her touch again.Â
ââââââââââââ
It had been two weeks since the party and Paige still lived in y/nâs mind. It was hard enough trying to forget about her but not only seeing her but speaking to her as well made y/nâs mind wander more than usual.Â
Y/n had been laying down on her couch the last few hours binging a few movies while eating some snacks. She was slowly beginning to fall asleep but a knock to her door woke her up.Â
Rubbing her eyes she made her way towards the door and took a peek through her doorbell.Â
Youâve got to be kidding me.
Sighing she undid all the locks before opening it. Her breath was quickly stolen from her seeing Paige standing there with a cupcake and a mini bouquet of white roses in her hand, and she could sense the desperation radiating off her.
âI got these for youâI remember how much you loved the cakes from Sweet Maryâs.â Paige mumbled, before handing them over to her. âIâm sorry for just randomly showing up over here. I just had to speak to you.âÂ
She took them from her and whispered a soft, âThank youâ before moving out of the doorway. âPlease, come in.â
Y/n wasn't sure why she didnât just tell Paige to go home again instead of letting her in. Sheâd never admit it, but a part of her missed her company. She just hoped that this didnât end badly.Â
Paige stepped inside, taking off her slides and leaving them by the door as Y/n made her way towards her vessel in the kitchen to place the flowers in. âAre you thirsty? I can make some coffee or tea if youâd like. I also have a bit of wine if youâd prefer that instead.â
âNoâno, Iâm okay. Thank you, y/n.â Paige spoke, before following y/n to her living room where they sat on opposite sides of the couch. âThank you, also for uhâletting me in this late.âÂ
Y/n watched as Paige swallowed thickly and turned to her, âIâve been missing you so badly, Y/n, you truly have no idea. Iâm sure at the party it was obvious enough but I donât want to play the victim, and make excuses for what I did because thatâs stupid. Iâm so, so, so sorry, y/n, for everything. For hurting you, for not changing, for letting my career get in the way of us, and making you feel unseen. After I gave myself these two weeks to properly think, it was clear that I need you back in my life. Iâm a mess without you, ma. I truly donât want to keep handling everything without you by my side anymore.âÂ
Y/n sat quiet for a few seconds not sure how to properly express what she wanted to say. She could tell Paige was miserable and she didnât want to say the wrong thing.Â
âLook.â she began, noticing how Paige dropped her head into her hands, before giving her the chance to finish and letting out shaky breaths. âI know from the outside looking in on things youâve assumed Iâve been handling things fine. I can tell based on what you said to me at Michaels birthday. But I actually havenât been dealing with this that well either. Iâve missed you as well, youâre all my mind has been thinking about the past month. And no matter how hard I try to deny my feelingsâ I really miss you.âÂ
Paige slowly lifted her head back up as a large grin took over her face, âCan I scoot closer to you, please?â she asked, and y/n was quick to nod in response.Â
âGodâ you have no idea how badly Iâve missed sharing the same space as you. Just getting the chance to be this close to you is so fucking rewarding.â she spoke as she ran her fingers through y/nâs hair while she laid on her lap. Paigeâs hand came up to her cheek, it was clear at first she was hesitant but she eventually stroked y/nâs cheek gently and let out a relieving sigh. âIâve missed touching you.âÂ
Y/n turned her head and kissed the palm of Paigeâs hand. âIâve missed touching you too.â she spoke, before lifting her head up and running her nose against Paigeâs jaw. âPlease donât hurt me again.âÂ
Paige wrapped her arms around her waist tightly and whispered softly into her ear, âI promise, Iâll never hurt you again my sweet girl.â Before Paige got the chance to say any more, y/n was quick to lean in and press her lips against hers, molding them together as she held onto Paigeâs shirt tightly. Paige took the opportunity to roam her hand down y/nâs body again just like she did before. Finally getting the chance to feel her bare skin against hers was something sheâd been craving for what felt like years. Her hand slid under y/nâs shirt and cupped her bare breast with her hand, earning a light moan from her against her lips. Her other hand slipped into her shorts, but was quickly taken aback when her hand was met with y/nâs bare ass cheekâinstead of the cloth of her panties.Â
She pulled back from the kiss and looked at y/n with furrowed brows. âYou arenât wearing underwear?âÂ
Y/nâs cheeks flushed pink as she shook her head in response and licked on her bottom lip. âI uhâtake them off before I go to sleep now. Itâs something Iâve been doing recently.âÂ
She watched as Paigeâs pupils dilated, and soon both of her hands were now cupping her ass as she lifted them up from the couch and walked towards her room. âI forget how strong you are sometimes.â y/n muttered, causing Paige to chuckle before dropping her gently onto her twin-sized bed. âThat seems like something pretty hard to forget, ma.âÂ
Paige hovered on top of y/nâs spread out figure and ran her fingers against her bare thigh. âTake off your shirt for me, ma. Wanna see those pretty tits again, been too long.â she asked and y/n was quick to comply, taking off her blouse earning a light grunt from Paigeâs lips.
She held them both in her hands as she lightly massaged them, âFuck, Iâve missed touching these pretty lilâ things so bad, baby.â she whispered before bringing her mouth down and sucking on one of them, and pinching the other one using her thumb and index finger as y/n let out a loud moan.Â
âFeels good, hm?â Paige mumbled, removing her mouth from her breast and attaching them to her neck, nibbling onto the skin, making sure to leave a visible mark right underneath her jaw.Â
She slid down y/nâs shorts eagerly and moaned at the sight of her bare pussy on display for her. âIma take care of you tonight, ma. Just like I used to, gonna help you feel real good.â she spoke, taking two of her fingers and shoving them into y/nâs mouth and muttering a low, âSuck.âÂ
Y/n was quick to suck on her fingers like her life depended on it. She remembered how much Paige loved when sheâd take them down her throatâso she was quick to do so. âFuck, yes. Just like that.â Paige praised, shoving a third finger into her mouth. âSuck my fingers real good, ma. Imagine it was my strap in your mouth again.â Y/n moaned at the thought of having the strap back in her mouthâmissing the way Paige would fuck her face with it or the times sheâd aggressively fuck her when sheâd misbehave, leaving her pussy sore yet throbbing and begging for more.Â
âSuch a good girl. Sucking my fingers so well.â she said, slowly taking her fingers out of y/nâs mouth as a string of saliva followed, then bringing them down to her dripping pussy. âAlways get so wet for me, didnât even need the spit, could easily slide my fingers right in, just like this.â she spoke as she slid two of her digits nice and slow inside, watching them disappear inside her entrance, before taking them out, licking her wetness clean from her fingers and letting out a moan at the taste.
âGodâsweetest pussy Iâve ever had. Could have this taste in my mouth everyday and be satisfied.âÂ
âPaige.â âYes, ma?â
âPlease lick me.âÂ
Paige leaned down and gave her a peck on the lips. âAnything you want.â she whispered, grabbing y/nâs thighs and putting them on top of her shoulders. Paige was a sucker for teasing, and on any other occasion sheâd make y/n work and beg for it. That was the usual for them. It was rare for Paige to give in this easily and early but fuckâshe hadnât gotten a chance to properly taste her in a month. Â
She was quick to attach her mouth to y/nâs needy clit and start licking. She gained so much pleasure just by eating her out, it was like a gift on Christmas day for her. âBeen so long since I had this sweet lilâpussy in my mouth.â Paige lifts her mouth up a bit and licks, causing y/nâs mouth to fall open in disbelief at the soft, sucking sound and gently smacking-noise as her lips sucked onto her clit. âGodâitâs so fucking good.â she groaned under her breath, and y/n swears sheâs on cloud nine. The feeling of Paigeâs hot breath combined with her wet tongue was sensational.Â
âCome on, ma.â she squeezed her thighs with her long fingers before pleading, âBack and forth yeah? Rock a bit for me, want you to be riding my face a bit.â Y/n was quick to do so, feeling the warm tip of Paigeâs tongue press against her. âFuck, feels so good, Iâve missed your tongue on me so badly.â she moaned, before Paige gave her a warm, long lick, causing her to cry out softly.
âYesâyes, thatâs right baby.â Paige muffled, giving her clit a short, sloppy sounding lick, making y/n buckforward again. âShit, good fucking girl. Ride my tongue, just like that.â she spoke, having her tongue still buried between her folds, as y/n let out louder moans from the pleasure. Paige began kneading her thighs firmly as she licked deeper and deeper with each sound of y/nâs breathless moans escaping her swollen lips.
Y/n felt her abdomen clench and release, causing her to let out a fluttery sigh. âIâm close, so-so close.â she whispered urgently, as Paige hauls her more tightly against her mouth and presses her tongue more firmly against her needy clit. Y/n inhales sharply and her mouth falls open when her center starts to splinter into pieces, âIâm cumminâfuck.â And before she knew it, she was making a mess on Paigeâs face. She pants, caught in place, as Paige rubs her thighs and lifts her face up, revealing her mouth and chin, glistening in her pussy juices.Â
Paige then leans down and kisses her, and y/n immediately tasted herself on her tongue. The two just stayed like this for a while before y/n pulled back from the kiss. âNowâmy turn.â Y/n climbs her way off the bed and stands in front of Paigeâs frame. âLet me make you feel good now.â she spoke, lightly shoving Paige back against the bed into the same position she was just in. Paige took off her sweats, leaving her in just her underwear and y/n was moaning already at the sight in front of her.Â
âIâve missed having you in my mouth.â she says, licking a stripe against her clothed clit, earning a moan from Paigeâs lips. âIma make you feel good too, promise.â Y/n quickly pulls her underwear to the side, revealing her wet and glistening folds, ready for her to dig in.Â
Y/nâs quick to start licking as if she hadnât eaten a proper meal in years. Paige kept a firm grip on her hair, yanking and pulling on it lightly with each feel of her tongue against her. Y/n loved looking up and watching the sight of Paige falling apart above her. Paigeâs body grew more desperate with each deep, sloppy lick to her clit as y/n spit down onto her, earning another moan from her lips. Y/n could tell she was close by her pants and breaths, and she was determined to taste her cum on her tongue. After a few more licks and sucks to her clit, her legs shook and she was cumming.Â
âMmmmmâ y/n dragged out, as she licked her lips clean and offered Paige a cute smile. âSo tasty.â she mumbled as Paige grabbed her hips and dragged her body on top of hers and kissed her lazily.
 âIâve missed this so badly, y/n.âÂ
âIâve missed this too.â she muttered, gently kissing her jaw before pecking her nose. âAt least now you donât have to miss it anymore.â
âAnd whyâs that hm?â she asked.
âBecause Iâm yours again.â
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#wbb#smut#wlw smut#wlw post#wlw#wlw ns/fw#ns/fw
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