#and it made me realise like
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it's so funny when you think about activism and solidarity coming from the weirdest places, but then you remember, the concept of 'weird' is kind of defined by who's in power and then it makes sense
#this is after watching an age old philosophy tube video - the reform or revolution asmr guided meditation#and it made me realise like#yeah anti-fascist cat girls uwu thats a thing#random autistic white boys who play dnd yeah they care about your rights????#that english teacher at your school? yeah theyve attended loads of protests#your deeply religious friend who cares abt minorities bc theyve been through the public health and education systems#that david bowie fan who seems like the kind of person to laugh at gay jokes is actually a bisexual feminist but in like a quiet way#queer#cringe culture
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the thing about "callout/cancel culture" that convinced me it's rotten to the core is the dehumanisation you face once you become the subject of a campaign like that. a lot of criticisms of callout/cancellation attempts appeal to the humanity of the subject, pointing out that it's unfair and unproductive to treat a person, a fellow human being, regardless of how much harm they've caused and how genuinely unlikable they are, like that. but unfortunately the reality of being the target of a mob mentality often means facing the very isolating and traumatising experience of realising that you've ceased to exist as a person in their eyes. you're a representation of your transgressions, an embodiment of harm that needs to be erased like a blemish, a spectacle for entertainment, a means of earning social approval by publicly condemning and humiliating you in what quickly becomes a competition to see who can strike the blow that knocks you down so you never get up again. nobody cares about who you are outside of what you did. people make mistakes and hurt one another, but there is always the capacity for change, for regret and reparations. you are an irredeemable monster. you can't change. the only way to make sure you can't cause harm ever again is to neutralise you entirely. to drive you off and hurt you so badly that you never consider coming back. and it often succeeds. but it doesn't make the world a better or safer place. it just tells everyone that certain behaviours will be punished, so you should conceal them, and harshly condemn them in others so that everyone knows where you stand; nobody will stand up for you if you're accused and brought out for judgement, so you shouldn't trust anyone, and always be on the lookout to take them down before they can do the same to you. you're not creating a safe, welcoming community. you're creating a panopticon built on fear and punishment.
#🐉#yes ive been the target of multiple harassment campaigns. yes i was in the wrong and deserved to be held accountable.#no i didnt deserve to be treated like that. and no i didnt change because people were cruel to me.#i changed because i was lucky enough to have friends who supported me and pointed out that they wanted me to be better because they cared#their disappointment and earnest belief in my capacity to be a better person was what made me realise i could and needed to do better
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Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]
@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent
My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')
Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)
Well maybe it's not the only difference
#I think in this version of the au possesion puts you into an almost dream-like state#Slipping into a sort of weird trance#Like physically you still have control of your body#But mentally you're mindlessly following orders from a disembodied voice#Kinda works like that imperius curse in harry potter (yes ik rowling sucks)#And jax soon figured out it was great for dissasociating😀#Escapism and heavily dependant on those possesion sessions to preserve his own mental stability:')#But *cue dramatic music🥁*#He eventually realises that it was not the possesion that brings him comfort and peace no more#But the presence and embrace of gangle that did<3💖💗💞#Jskhsskhj sorry that was so cheesy🧀#Well more or less its because he hadnt have human interaction in AWHILE it seems#Goose did confirm that it has been a long time since he last got a hug:(#*almost* made me feel bad there#Mkay enough rambling about this slight very minor variation of the story#I hope this whole thing was coherent to even be readable=]#Maybe ill even add emojis✨#tadc gangle#tadc jax#ribbun#the amazing digital circus#Tadc au#tadc fanart#tadc fandom#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#Let me have this guys#Let me indulge-#Her head is a tad bit too small yes IM AWARE#This is actually probably my fastest post to reach 100 notes wth (in like 7-8 hours)
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You and I see eye to eye
40/∞ ghovie gifs
#the band ghost#ghost band#ghovie gifs#EYECONTACT#i have beef with the camera man#the love on here was so nice i got in the mood to gif!!!#hope u like it#getting pseudo ciriced made me realise i could never handle the real thing hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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egg
#genshin impact#my art#watching the trailers and seeing him without his hat on made me realise that he kind of looks bald without it on#kind of like an egg#still very cute tho#also a rare moment when i actually try and render smth let’s all cheer bc its not happening again
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it's been exactly a year since the last chapter of Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule and I still miss it. This scene is probably one of my favourite things I've ever written and I've wanted to draw it for forever, so now seemed like an appropriate time
#jegulus#jegulus fanart#marauders fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#marauders#regulus black fanart#james potter fanart#starchaser#sunseeker#regulus x james#marauders era#jegulus fanfiction#fic: operation wanker#hp#mine#my art#ngl this drawing specifically made me realise why i prefer writing over drawing#i think too much in concepts to be able to capture a scene in a way that i want#you cant draw the same thing from several perspectives at once if you dont wanna go for cubism#(tho honestly cubism fanart sounds like a concept i could get behind mmmmm)#anyway i stayed up far too fucking long to finish this in time for today (and by too long i mean until 8am too long)#because originally i had planned to start posting ritardando as my anniversary celebration. yk more fake dating and all that...#but alas i scrapped the whole thing so drawing happened instead#not 100% satisified with how this turned out cause i dont know how perspectives work. or people. or backgrounds outside. you get the idea#i really very much like the second one tho i think its very pretty
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I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️
#i talk sometimes#art talk#i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately#also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!!#I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me?#i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details#and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself.#it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that#instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder.#i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!!#i just luv art man!!
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What was that really beautiful wording used to describe characters I like— ah that’s it, sad sacks of issues. That’s this guy right here
#metal gear solid#mgs2#mgr#raiden#so obviously I knew about raiden thru internet osmosis#and I was aware he went from just being a guy to a cyborg#but I never knew how#I assumed it must’ve been the result of a devastating event#like an explosion or his body was just shredded so badly#and this was the only way to keep the guy alive#or maybe he did die and for some reason he was brought back to life life this#but anyway#decided to look it up as I was getting close to the ending of mgs2#nope#I was so wrong#human experimentation baybbeeee#pried his head and spine right off his body and attached it to a robotic body#thats how I realised I’m getting too squeamish cuz that made me go a bit green#ridiculous backstory details aside#what a sad sack of issues
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more nephews and niece content bc it makes me happy
#digital art#fanart#art#resident evil#carlos oliveira#resident evil 3 remake#prob the last but I’m glad to have drawn lighthearted fun stuff#need to see this man happy#I wanted to draw some of his brothers but brain can’t come up with unique designs#just want him to be happy with his siblings#for now he gotta stay happy w these rascals I made up in my head#ppl adding their own hc’s and thoughts was so inspiring so I made these doodles LOL#as a kid I scared the adults with facts and bugs without realising it and didn’t understand why they didn’t like me#but ik carlitos would try be supportive of everyone’s interests
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Some of my fav fan arts I did in 2024! 🦂💖
This year I took mental health leave from uni and therefore I spent a lot of time having nothing to do other than draw and put all my energy there. It was difficult not to let it consume me, and I think in future I want to put less pressure on myself. But I think my art has really come a way this year with focus on multiple character peices and more colour :). Hope to keep drawing things I love, and thank you to those who liked what I do this year, really appreciate you 💖
#Man it was so hard to pick just 10. Made me realise I did a LOT this year tho#Like I had a lot of diff phases like true detective and then crash and silent hill etc#Tempted to make another post just for the painted peices I did this year cuz I went out my comfort zone a lot#But I will make another post for oc art#art#fan art#sketch#character art#Saw#Postal 2#Amanda Young#Postal dude#Trevor Philips#Gta v#Cry of fear#simon henriksson#crash 1996#True detective#Rust Cohle#Silent hill 2#James Sunderland#ravenous 1999#Colonel ives#John boyd#Mgs 3#mgs snake eater#Revolver ocelot#Big boss#Jacobs ladder
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POV: You’re Howdy
+ Bonus doodle and alt versions under cut!
Bonus Doodle!
Alt versions! (Just the image without post and one without the URL and PFP)
#not sure if anyone else has made this meme edit but if someone has let me know!#Aaaaah! I had so much fun drawing this!#was working on it while I waited for my Barnaby plush to arrive!#I think I could’ve done better for the URL and User name thing too but I seriously couldn’t think of anything too interesting or crazy#I think I did good though on the ‘Clownid’ thing he is a clown canid after all!#also while working on this I realised I accidentally made Barnaby look like baby Grommit XD#also also Barnaby arrived mid finishing this!#he’s so soft and cuddly! grrrrr incredible!#anywho onto the main tags!#Grem Draws!?#CW: Cigarettes Mentioned#welcome home#welcome home barnaby#welcome home howdy#barnaby b beagle#howdy pillar
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IMAGINE YOURSELF.
TELL ME OF YOURSELF.
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?
and here is some close ups from the still frames with no filters !
#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp#tma#jonah magnus#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#chester tmagp#augustus tmagp#norris tmagp#''is that martin blackwood?'' yes he is a brown indian man to me#''did u forgot the pc mouse?'' yes i did#god im still not sure about jonah's design i havent drawn him a lot#anyways tmagp 22 was really good im so excited for the next ep !!!#btw as i was editing the text i realised one of the 'I's was in quotation marks which made me think of the spelling of 'I'#and we get ''I am EYE'' on that part and it is really cool oh man i love this podcast#also i made it into a video bcs the gif version was like 10MBs and that was SHITTTYYYY#hmm i just realised i never posted on here my tma designs..... maybe one day <- still unsure about tim's design#my art
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What if- what if Wind’s trauma doesn’t register with him until he’s older. What if as a teenager he thinks he’s super cool for going on adventures and fighting and stuff but then the trauma slams into him when he’s older. One day he’ll realise just how fucked up his life was and all the things he disregarded or made a joke about before come back to haunt him. What if…
#squeezing and shaking the blorbo#he may be more mature than some people give him credit for#but he’s still a kid with at least SOME level of innocence#and naivety#like he’ll be like haha I was 12 when I stabbed a big bad man#and then later he’ll realise#‘I was only 12’#‘they made me save their world from impending doom at 12 years old’#all he wanted was his sister safe and sound#yet inevitable events lead him to have to shoulder the world as only a young boy#like fucking hell#he’ll have no one to relate to because when he grows up he won’t have the chain… will he?#he won’t have the others to reassure him that everything will get better and that one day he’ll find peace in his life#because everyone will be gone#and he was too young to understand why they were so careful to make sure he was okay while in each other’s company#the only people to ever understand him are forever gone. Never to be seen again#were they even there to begin with?#in his childhood?#in those sensitive years of his life?#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu wind#lu chain#wind linked universe
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y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way
like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!
idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing
#ramble#ok to reblog#can you tell living back home has brought up a lot of unresolved stuff#the amount of times i said 'there is something wrong with me' and i was told i was fine just made me feel like i was the problem#and that i should just try harder instead of there being a physical barrier that i couldn't control#idk there's just a lot of anger from realising that it wasn't my fault and NOBODY tried to help me#@ parents: different doesn't mean bad. help your fucking kids
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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you know, i think the reason people fall into the 'kant doesn't care about bison at all, none of what he's doing or saying is real' thing so easily is because he's so good at compartmentalising. it's one of the most consistent parts of his character. we get shown in damn near every single scene he's in: kant constantly sets his own feelings/opinions/wants aside in favour of getting done whatever it is he needs to get done. and if you aren't paying attention it gives off the impression that he doesn't care, but that isn't the truth at all.
i know i talk about kant's role as a big brother a lot, but i genuinely believe that's where it stems from. from the moment his parents died, he had to tuck his own grief away in favour of tending to babe's needs, both emotional and physical. and in ep 6 babe refers to kant as the one who raised him, so babe really must have been quite young when their parents passed - young enough that kant is the one he considers to have raised him, not them. and i know i already talked about it in this post but it's worth reiterating that that wouldn't have come without sacrifice for kant. from context clues it seems as though he went from a student just like any other to basically a single father to a young, grieving child overnight. and kant loves babe. he clearly prioritises his wellbeing - in every sense - above his own. and that means kant's own feelings and wants and desires and even his needs getting thrown aside over and over and over again in favour of babe's. this is a pattern that must have gone on for years atp. kant probably no longer knows any other way to be: he always becomes what other people need him to be. who he is and how he feels get smothered in favour of that every time. and please understand that him doing that isn't an act of manipulation, but likely started as him adapting to the circumstances he found himself in as a teenager and became so ingrained in who he is that he doesn't even realise he's doing it anymore. (besides you can see when kant is manipulating someone. it's completely different. he's not great at it.)
because i mean really, do you honestly think kant was never scared going out stealing cars? do you think he wasn't petrified when he was caught? do you think he never wished for something else for his brother, for himself? do you think he never walked through the streets at night looking for cars to steal, wishing he could just go home? wanting his mum and dad? wanting to someone to take care of him for once?
of course he did. of course he was scared. of course he was upset. he's not a sociopath, nor is he some kind of professional criminal. he's just a guy who's been doing whatever he has to to get by, and sometimes that meant doing bad things, but he still has feelings and wants and wishes beyond that.
but the thing is, as it always has been, is that above kant's wants or needs or feelings sits babe. babe's wants and needs and feelings. his wishes. his dreams. and so kant pushes his own feelings to the side so that he could do what he needed to do - first out of necessity, then because he had no choice. but that doesn't mean those feelings aren't still there. it doesn't mean he doesn't still feel them.
but what place is there for kant's feelings? what use are they? babe needs feeding. he needs education. he needs school uniforms and books and new shoes. he needs someone there, on the outside. kant is of no use to babe in a prison cell. so what good does kant's fear do? where do his desire and his wants and his feelings get him? nowhere. dreams don't put food on the table. so he tucks them away, time and time again. he's scared, but he gets on with it because there's no other option. he wants, but he has babe to think about, so what use is it wanting anything? wanting to go somewhere, to do something, to be with someone - what's the point when he can't have any of it. he has a child to take care of, and that child's needs must always come first. that's the sacrifice any good parental figure must always make. so that's what kant has done. he's spent half of his life pushing his feelings away in favour of making sure babe is good.
why, then, would love be any different?
style can love fadel. he can want him, and he can voice it, and he can show it, because style doesn't have to think about anyone other than himself. there's no one relying on him, not the way babe relies on kant. and so if he acts stupid and reckless and falls in love with an assassin, the consequences of that will be his and his alone to deal with.
kant doesn't have that luxury - the luxury of loving bison. he never has. he has babe to think about. and on top of that, kant can't allow himself to want anything because to him, wanting is useless. it's pointless. he never gets to have what he wants. and he especially can't allow himself to want bison, not when bison is literally his get out of jail free card. kant can't go to prison because he has to look after babe. and it's the same pattern all over again: babe comes first. what kant actually wants doesn't matter.
so he locks it away. he compartmentalises it. we've seen it over and over and over: he gets angry at christ and he swallows it because he can't afford to made him mad. he gets scared and he grits his teeth and smiles. he starts to feel something real for bison, starts to see him as something other than his ticket to freedom, and in the next breath he's reminding himself (or style) that he can't. that they just need to get the job done, asap. if the captain just arrests them, then it'll be over and kant will be free and he can tuck those feelings and those wants back in their fucking boxes and he can move on. over and over and over you see him trying to convince himself of that, because that's probably what has worked before: just one more car, just one more job, just one more time.
but the problem is it's not that simple. being in such close proximity to bison and pretending to love him has shaken the walls he's put up around himself, and they've started to crumble from the foundation up. the feelings that were supposed to be fake, that were supposed to be kept on the outside of the wall have started leaking in to where the real kant is. his walls haven't fallen down, not yet, but they've been breached. and now he's knee deep in these feelings that he shouldn't be having. now, no matter how hard he tries to resist it, he wants.
i think that's what makes the scene in the bowling alley so heartbreaking for me. when i saw the preview i thought that kant was doing it for bison's benefit, to make sure he has one last good night before he's locked away. which he definitely was. but i also think for the first time in the whole show we really get to see kant - no games, no agendas, no angles. even their first meeting wasn't entirely innocent like that - kant was putting on a persona to get bison into bed. but in that bowling alley, when they're all alone and no one's looking and there's a very real chance they'll never see each other again, kant just lets himself be. he lets bison see him, even the ugly parts, the parts that have him breaking into places and cutting off the cctv and stealing from the drinks fridge. because bison told him, didn't he? that he loves every story on his body, even the fucked up ones? so in that bowling alley kant is no longer trying to be some perfect version of himself, the one with no history or flaws, the one trying so desperately to win bison over. he's not trying to be christ's informant. he's not even trying to be babe's big brother for once. he lets himself just be kant.
kant, who wants to be alone with bison in the place where they first met. kant, who laughs so hard his body can't even hold him up. kant, who sets up a fucking projector to project the northern lights all over the walls because he saw the pictures on bison's wall and knew how much he loved them. bison never told him that. but kant is thoughtful, and kant pays attention, and kant is romantic, and none of it is an act. all of it is him, loving bison despite himself. wanting him to be happy. wanting to give and give and give because that's how kant loves: by giving until there's nothing left of him. by putting himself second and the person he loves first. it's what he did for babe, isn't it?
and it's the real kant who, for just a moment, lets himself be reckless and stupid like style gets to be, like kant never gets to be, when he looks down at bison's face and says should we just get in the car and run? and means it. he poses it like a joke, but he means it. he wants it. and it's the real kant who sits in the middle of a bowling lane and plans a trip with bison, who lets himself truly want something for the first time since he was a child, probably: 15 days, kant will drive, bison will run the playlist. they'll see the northern lights and the puffins and the waterfalls. and maybe it's the freedom of knowing he'll never get to have it that makes it so much easier to allow himself to want it, but isn't that so much worse? knowing the only way he's allowed to want anything is if there's guardrails up, keeping him in line? stopping him from making the mistake of actually thinking he ever gets to have what he wants?
none of that scene was an act. none of it. in fact imo the only person he actually puts a front up with in ep 6 was style, trying to convince him to just let them go. that it doesn't matter. bc that was all bullshit and he knew it. and you can think what you want about kant's actions and his feelings up until now, but if after watching episode 6 you still genuinely don't see that kant is head over heels for bison, then you're either not paying close enough attention, or you've let your bias/dislike of his character cloud your ability to be objective about what you're seeing, and i mean that. he is so obvious.
just because kant isn't expressing his conflict or his discomfort or his feelings the way style is doesn't mean he doesn't feel any of it. he does. his words are lies. we've already established that about him. but his conflict and his love are written all over him, all over his face, all over in his actions. the love he feels for bison is delicate and it's fragile but it's undeniably there. and if you don't see that then i genuinely feel sorry for you because you're not only missing out on half the plot, but you're also missing out on something so genuinely beautiful it makes my bones ache.
#the heart killers#kantbison#thk meta#that tweet abt kant wanting to get in bison's pants pissed me off so fucking bad like#respectfully some of you are getting your ass beat by the unreliable narrator of it all and that's a bit embarrassing#also yes i realise this is basically just a remix of the other post i made about kant#but i will KEEP making this post for as long as people keep mischaracterising him#which may just be forever i fear. bc if emotions aren't being spoon fed to the audience then they just don't exist at all apparently
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