#and it knocks me right out every time
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#so I just want to talk about my sweet kitty for a second#haha#my cat Jiji has always been super empathetic and really in tune to how I feel#I’m chronically ill/disabled#and he can often sense something is off even before I can#for example#when I have an mcas episode#he comes in immediately and tries to sit right on me and he smells my nose/mouth#but another thing he has been doing#is when i am having insomnia#he comes in an snuggles up right on top of me#and it knocks me right out every time#lol#I just think that’s so cute#like I’ll wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and struggle to go back to sleep#and he’ll come in the bedroom#plop right on top of me#and I fall asleep within minutes#such an angel
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work all night on a drink of rum
daylight come and me wan go home
stack banana til the morning come
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
a beautiful bunch of ripe banana
daylight come and me wan go home
hide the deadly black tarantula
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
dayo
dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
#someone suggested i turn off reblogs. to that i say. i’m not a fucking quitter#esp when i get to see my husband dancing in my notifs every time this gets a note#since this reached 30k notes i wanted to say that people in the notes saying you shouldn’t feel safe around horses are right#story time :) when i was very little i got kicked in the face by a horse.#obviously this is very dangerous and i could have been concussed but there was no bleeding or bruising or no teeth knocked out#so my family didn’t believe me and even tried to convince me that it never happened at all. accused me of lying about it#it was specifically my grandma (who i realized much later in life was extremely emotionally abusive) who insisted i was lying.#but i remember it clearly. i know that it happened. i know that it struck my front teeth and knocked me to the ground#and i have never felt safe around horses since <3 or my family actually#ahem. i always felt safe around my grandparents. ‘‘not anymore’’ said knife grandma#are you still reading this?#reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram#you just lost the game#speaking of loss#|#|/#||#|_
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Still haven't caught sight of Drag Strip's or Wildrider's names, but that's three out of five components of Menasor who show up in the race alone.
#When I saw this movie on August 15th I saw Motormaster's name but wasn't sure#I knew I had but seeing Motormouth later shown in the Iacon 5000 race clip made me very much doubt myself#Until I saw others mention they saw him and I specifically hunted him down when I saw it the next three times and he's THERE#Right before magnet trap/after the main two land on Darkwing and knock him out of contention#best placed Stunticon throughout the entire race#and you can *maybe* see him for one shot#TF One#Transformers One#TF One Spoilers#Transformers One Spoilers#TF#I need an art book and them to do special features of every cameo and background character who is intentionally placed#So for a month I literally was going 'did I actually see Motormaster or did I imagine that because I wanted so badly to see him'#Very glad the combiner teams were fairly represented except Constructicons and Protectobots#Had Fireflight & Silverbolt & Slingshot & Air Raid if I recall for the Aerialbots#Had Swindle for Combaticons#And a few technobots#Stunticons#Motormaster
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she's so impatient LMFAO
#stacy like 'oh my gooooodddd hurry up and figure out why this guy's dying so we can just have sex already'#greg house#stacy warner#rewatch lb#2x10#of course the one time i root for the het couple every watchthru it cannot be...#those r my parents right there. my parents that raised me#god HL and sela ward fucking knocked it out of the park in all of these episodes#their chemistry is amazing#my caps
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today mostly sucked but i am reminded that i have ppl who love me and things im excited for in the future. and i kno things will be okay.
#rumbles#im nervous right now. im scared for the future.#both political and personal#but saturday. im going on a date with that guy ive been regularly hanging out with#he’s in a friend group of people i met… recently? kind of?#ive known one of them for a rly long time but#Most of them are pretty new to me still#it feels crazy. to make new friends in ur 30s#anyways. saturday i have a date w this guy i hit it off with#im p nervous. i met him irl. at what stage do ur show ur hand like.#yea im a tumblr furry gay#sometimes i play dinosaur pvp video game#but on the server where the point is to rp the dinosaurs#i spend like 7 hours every saturday playing dnd#my character? bisexual transgender half-dragon w daddy And mommy issues. 2 for 1 packaged deal.#i went crazy in the tags but today sucked for obvious reasons#but Also. my new friend knocked m first and only water pipe on to the floor#(it was glass)#(the bowl got smashed off the stem)#and i wasnt going to like. throw a fit about it. she clearly felt rly bad about it
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#time to be a whiny lil mf on main again#sorry for always coming with this shit recently#also sorry for not being able to reply to chats and asks#why is........ everything............ so gd exhausting#I'm supposed to have fun later today because we're celebrating Joshua's birthday#tell me why I've been miserable since yesterday#I used to like these things#I used to be able to do these things and also do my uni work and also not feel shit about it all#instead I'm now apparently knocked out by the smallest interactions and then get resentful because there's no time to “recover” in sight an#it's stressing me out left right and center#I just wanna be able to enjoy things with friends again#and not hate it every time#simon.out.#once again battling two wolves#one of which wants to isolate and rest and wait out for better days to come (idk how likely that one is fellas)#and the other one is MISERABLE because isolating feels like SHIT because I feel like I'm letting everyone down and ruining every relation#relationship i've ever built up with anyone ever
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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#i feel like something inside me is rattling the bars of its cage#i dont know how close it is to breaking out all i know is every shake knocks me to the ground#i feel like im about to shapeshift#i feel the disgusting sensations of a werewolf transformation#my bones are breaking but i am sitting still#if i scream too loud it might crack open my jaw#how do you say that to someone?#“hey how are you? yeah the monsters within me are slowly but surely wearing me out and breaking me down and not too soon those monsters#will be all thats left. happy weekend!“#“i wanna saw my head off of my body and touch the broken parts. i wanna break every joint backwards and writhe in pain on the sidewalk.#i wanna crash my car i think if i time the turn right i can flip the thing. sorry did you need something?“#fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckducjfucjfycidyciducidycu#FUCK
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and the fact that mulder cries a lot makes me want to cuddle him forever 😭😭
everything is so hard for him all of the time!! i love him.
#i love that he cries on screen so much#it means so much in terms of characterization of male heroes that i'm too tired to get into right now#but i also think of when my friend ali talked about how like...what a show of vulnerability it is#in those moments he isn't the invincible protagonist who always charges forward and always makes it out#he's traumatized and he's SENSITIVE and things do not come easy to him. he's afraid. he's lonely.#that ending shot of reduxes just knocks me breathless every time because that IS what it feels like.#that IS what success or barely making it through or 'the best news ever' feels like sometimes#earlier in the ep when he comes to scully's room and she's asleep and he just SOBS next to her. trying to muffle his cries in his hand#so he doesnt wake her. and the next day he's like :) oh i stopped by last night :) didn't want to disturb you :)#it's like actually haunting. and there is no part of THAT that is a heroic crusader.#when everything is 'okay' in the end and everyone is in the room RIGHT BEHIND HIM celebrating and he cries again...god.#it's like the tags i referenced yesterday talked about. it just all hits him at the same time.#there is never any respite on this show even when there's a miracle
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one of THE funniest phrases to come out of modern mcyt is by far “they fucked in that cactus ring”
#icarus speaks#suggestive#I DONT KNWO WHY#every time i see it it fucking knocks me out#like. you’re right. they fucked in that cactus ring
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it is crazy how much more fragile you feel when you become immunocompromised
#marzi speaks#i’m very very careful about hand washing right now#food needs to be cooked to the proper temperatures to avoid illness#if i see a cool rock or trinket on the ground i won’t want to pick it up anymore#i’m gonna be masking basically every time i enter a building with a stranger in it#i’m gonna start carrying hand sanitizer with me Everywhere just to be safe#it’s weird bc for 90% of my life i have been very confident in my immune system#it’s a strong system. i didn’t get sick often and when i did it always got knocked out within like a week#so i felt very confident in being able to go do ‘gross’ things and be fine#now the thought of that is kinda horrifying. bc i could get sick and bleed into my lungs#or my liver. or my intestines. or my heart. or my kidneys (which is some of the harder damage to spot). or just under my skin in general#so i have to be really careful. and keep my nutrients up. and my hygiene up#and i have to really really stress that those in my life express a similar amount of care when it comes to me#it’s weird. i dunno how to feel about it yet#god therapy is gonna be so interesting when i’m ready to unpack all of this
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woah i just woke up from a crazy as fuck nightmare
#so if started off with me and a couple other ppl trying to find dirks apartment right#idk why#but when we did we found out that it was actually not in the middle of the ocean#but instead in the middle of a man-made lake and was an experiment run by the government#so my pov switched to young dirk and we actually got put in the apartment at like 4#so we were crying and begging not to go#then there was a timeskip#and we were trying to escape the apartments#but every time we got near the edge of the lake we got knocked out and had horrible nightmares#but that went on for a while one time i think we made it to a couple feet from the wall#then the dream switched and someone and i were puppeteers in a muppets babies esque show. the other guy was probably dirk considering the#previous dream. so yeah that sucked#oh also occasionally in the apartment we hallucinated a group of our friends and family (notably roxy rose and dave) near the edge#of the lake and we tried to get to them but we would pass out before we could#additionally we also tried to kill ourselves several times. naturally. but every time we would just wake up again#even when we fully separated our head from our body we would just wake up with it back on#so yeah. that was my crazy as fuck nightmare#housetrapped
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It's officially Christmas season cuz I did my yearly reading of this baby 🥹❤️🥰 thank u @nadjaofstatenisland forever
#This was the first domino in the chain of events that led me to my lifelong friendship w Kim and I think that's beautiful#Also it's just good as hell 😩 fics of all time truly#I keep finding new lines that knock me out every year when fp says I owe you everything ‼️#Why did we as a society stop writing fred and alice 🥺 they're best friends#And why did we stop writing fred sweaty and feverish and fp by his side treating him really niceys 🥺#It's the devotion....#How they never had the right timing ‼️🥺 THEY ARE SO SAD YOUR HONOUR#Their AA/NA era that exists now only in my memories 🥲#Shoutout to their sweaty teenage van sex also 💕 Kim understood the assignment we were all on that clown to clown
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it
#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet#I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through#idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :(#like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself#& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy#I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem#I had 4 social plans this month. that's it#that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!!#is this the norm for adulthood? :(#& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy#but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too#the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021#but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all#I'm not going anywhere w this. idk#just one of those days#everything so fuck everybody suck :(#boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake#now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend#assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((:#I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake#& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx'#OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks#but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together!#'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc#'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!!#every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores#they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go#& I'm like any time!! I love u!!#& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired#like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(
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