#and it knocks me right out every time
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#so I just want to talk about my sweet kitty for a second#haha#my cat Jiji has always been super empathetic and really in tune to how I feel#I’m chronically ill/disabled#and he can often sense something is off even before I can#for example#when I have an mcas episode#he comes in immediately and tries to sit right on me and he smells my nose/mouth#but another thing he has been doing#is when i am having insomnia#he comes in an snuggles up right on top of me#and it knocks me right out every time#lol#I just think that’s so cute#like I’ll wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and struggle to go back to sleep#and he’ll come in the bedroom#plop right on top of me#and I fall asleep within minutes#such an angel
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https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6DqqjKE/
😭❤️🔥
the way he fuckjsing STUDTTEREDDDDRD MIKE BROWNNNN DUKE TOSSBIN WHOEVER THE FUCKKKKKK WHEN I CATCH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
i can't do this.
#ask#now why would you send me this..........#from the emojis i thought you were sending me a thirst edit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#saw it was buffering on tees face didnt perceive anything else got so pumped and THEN FUCKING TAYLORS NEW YEARS DAY??????????#god i just ate lunch everythings coming back up#also like mike brown usually sits by the sidelines during practice or whatever and duke too like#i didn't know that!#all those higher ups usually are present /sometimes/ during practices etc#baffles me#pisses me off#fucking fight me.#last game in stripes i need everyone who has ever had that though to knock on wood and spit that shit OUT right the fuck now. NOWWWWWWWWWW.#every shot of joe smiling at tee so fondly hugging him man what if i just die.#joe burrow#tee higgins#third (?) time negotiating his fucking contract with this team i feel so sick to my stomach
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Still haven't caught sight of Drag Strip's or Wildrider's names, but that's three out of five components of Menasor who show up in the race alone.
#When I saw this movie on August 15th I saw Motormaster's name but wasn't sure#I knew I had but seeing Motormouth later shown in the Iacon 5000 race clip made me very much doubt myself#Until I saw others mention they saw him and I specifically hunted him down when I saw it the next three times and he's THERE#Right before magnet trap/after the main two land on Darkwing and knock him out of contention#best placed Stunticon throughout the entire race#and you can *maybe* see him for one shot#TF One#Transformers One#TF One Spoilers#Transformers One Spoilers#TF#I need an art book and them to do special features of every cameo and background character who is intentionally placed#So for a month I literally was going 'did I actually see Motormaster or did I imagine that because I wanted so badly to see him'#Very glad the combiner teams were fairly represented except Constructicons and Protectobots#Had Fireflight & Silverbolt & Slingshot & Air Raid if I recall for the Aerialbots#Had Swindle for Combaticons#And a few technobots#Stunticons#Motormaster
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she's so impatient LMFAO
#stacy like 'oh my gooooodddd hurry up and figure out why this guy's dying so we can just have sex already'#greg house#stacy warner#rewatch lb#2x10#of course the one time i root for the het couple every watchthru it cannot be...#those r my parents right there. my parents that raised me#god HL and sela ward fucking knocked it out of the park in all of these episodes#their chemistry is amazing#my caps
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wow, y’all really weren’t lying, huh? why are pulp musicals literally the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard???? what have i been doing, why haven’t i listened to them so much fucking sooner?????
#pulp musicals#i’m still stuck in the so cool so cool so cool phase#maybe one day i’ll have something insightful to say#i’m getting like goosebumps during every song#they really are so fucking underrated !!!#i’ve only listened to the great moon hoax so far#i can’t wait to listen the other 3 !!!!#and i’m getting into them right in time for the minisodes!!!!#but i already know that something bad happens to samuel that involves a purple button? but i love him so much already :(#the stratford twins already mean the world to me !!!#i think margaret is my fav so far#like a lonely person with a connection to the moon and also glows!!#sign me up!!!#i’ve already hastily written some stuff about her in my notes bc i fear i may already have brain worms about her#rose knocking john and benjamin out with the printing press was as iconic as i hoped#i can’t get over how good it was#i was legit tearing up at the end!!#oughhh
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#time to be a whiny lil mf on main again#sorry for always coming with this shit recently#also sorry for not being able to reply to chats and asks#why is........ everything............ so gd exhausting#I'm supposed to have fun later today because we're celebrating Joshua's birthday#tell me why I've been miserable since yesterday#I used to like these things#I used to be able to do these things and also do my uni work and also not feel shit about it all#instead I'm now apparently knocked out by the smallest interactions and then get resentful because there's no time to “recover” in sight an#it's stressing me out left right and center#I just wanna be able to enjoy things with friends again#and not hate it every time#simon.out.#once again battling two wolves#one of which wants to isolate and rest and wait out for better days to come (idk how likely that one is fellas)#and the other one is MISERABLE because isolating feels like SHIT because I feel like I'm letting everyone down and ruining every relation#relationship i've ever built up with anyone ever
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#three gigantic explosions went off RIGHT under my window in the past hour alone#every time it's so loud my body reacts with total panic like i've just been shot and i'm dying#my chest physically hurts. like i'm scared i might have a heart attack from this#sitting here in my living room feeling the least safe i've ever felt at home and so terrified i'm sobbing uncontrollably#it's just constant tension and fear and bracing myself for the next one#and it's barely 5 pm. this will probably continue until 3 or 4 in the morning at least. if not literally all night#this is fucking insane. it's never been this bad before. i genuinely don't know if my health can handle this#but i have nowhere to go. i'm so scared. i don't know what to do#can't even call the police because this shit is inexplicably legal???#i tried earplugs but it's so loud it makes zero difference. like imagine telling someone in a war zone to wear earplugs#jesus christ i can smell the gunpowder even from indoors#i'm so scared. this is horrible. i wish i could take some super strong drug to knock me out until tomorrow#but any drug strong enough to keep me unconscious through this shit would be strong enough that i wouldn't feel safe taking it at all#i saw my neighbor throw something out his window that i first thought was a firecracker?#but it fizzled and went out so maybe it was just a cigarette butt#but if i see someone in my building setting firecrackers off... i'm genuinely afraid of what i might do#like i'm scared i might fully lose it and go bang on their door and get in a physical altercation with them#i cannot emphasize how much i am in full fight-or-flight nothing-to-lose mode right now. and i can't flee. so that leaves only fighting#i might never get citizenship if i'm arrested for attacking somebody but even that thought isn't enough to hold me back rn#this is awful awful awful. i don't know what to do. how am i going to make it through this night? how is this shit not illegal?#i wish i could at least stop crying jfc this is horrible
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i think it’s a combination of the drawfee brainrot and the fact that one of the only living beings i interact with regularly is my cat but ive recently taken to unironically saying meow and meowing about things like literally all the time and it’s honestly so embarrassing
#i crying at myself every time i catch myself doing it#but it’s especially embarrassing when i do it in front of other people without realizing it#i was shopping the other day and found the thing i needed and said out loud ‘yay! meow’#and the person in the aisle looked at me like i was crazy. which is fair#and just now i was coming off the elevator and accidentally knocked something over on my cart#and was like oh no meow meow meow#and someone was in the office right there with their door open#they looked very concerned and i didn’t know what to say so i didn’t say anything#i don’t know why i do this. i am the worlds most pathetic girl#snow.txt
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#i feel like something inside me is rattling the bars of its cage#i dont know how close it is to breaking out all i know is every shake knocks me to the ground#i feel like im about to shapeshift#i feel the disgusting sensations of a werewolf transformation#my bones are breaking but i am sitting still#if i scream too loud it might crack open my jaw#how do you say that to someone?#“hey how are you? yeah the monsters within me are slowly but surely wearing me out and breaking me down and not too soon those monsters#will be all thats left. happy weekend!“#“i wanna saw my head off of my body and touch the broken parts. i wanna break every joint backwards and writhe in pain on the sidewalk.#i wanna crash my car i think if i time the turn right i can flip the thing. sorry did you need something?“#fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckducjfucjfycidyciducidycu#FUCK
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and the fact that mulder cries a lot makes me want to cuddle him forever 😭😭
everything is so hard for him all of the time!! i love him.
#i love that he cries on screen so much#it means so much in terms of characterization of male heroes that i'm too tired to get into right now#but i also think of when my friend ali talked about how like...what a show of vulnerability it is#in those moments he isn't the invincible protagonist who always charges forward and always makes it out#he's traumatized and he's SENSITIVE and things do not come easy to him. he's afraid. he's lonely.#that ending shot of reduxes just knocks me breathless every time because that IS what it feels like.#that IS what success or barely making it through or 'the best news ever' feels like sometimes#earlier in the ep when he comes to scully's room and she's asleep and he just SOBS next to her. trying to muffle his cries in his hand#so he doesnt wake her. and the next day he's like :) oh i stopped by last night :) didn't want to disturb you :)#it's like actually haunting. and there is no part of THAT that is a heroic crusader.#when everything is 'okay' in the end and everyone is in the room RIGHT BEHIND HIM celebrating and he cries again...god.#it's like the tags i referenced yesterday talked about. it just all hits him at the same time.#there is never any respite on this show even when there's a miracle
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it is crazy how much more fragile you feel when you become immunocompromised
#marzi speaks#i’m very very careful about hand washing right now#food needs to be cooked to the proper temperatures to avoid illness#if i see a cool rock or trinket on the ground i won’t want to pick it up anymore#i’m gonna be masking basically every time i enter a building with a stranger in it#i’m gonna start carrying hand sanitizer with me Everywhere just to be safe#it’s weird bc for 90% of my life i have been very confident in my immune system#it’s a strong system. i didn’t get sick often and when i did it always got knocked out within like a week#so i felt very confident in being able to go do ‘gross’ things and be fine#now the thought of that is kinda horrifying. bc i could get sick and bleed into my lungs#or my liver. or my intestines. or my heart. or my kidneys (which is some of the harder damage to spot). or just under my skin in general#so i have to be really careful. and keep my nutrients up. and my hygiene up#and i have to really really stress that those in my life express a similar amount of care when it comes to me#it’s weird. i dunno how to feel about it yet#god therapy is gonna be so interesting when i’m ready to unpack all of this
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It's officially Christmas season cuz I did my yearly reading of this baby 🥹❤️🥰 thank u @nadjaofstatenisland forever
#This was the first domino in the chain of events that led me to my lifelong friendship w Kim and I think that's beautiful#Also it's just good as hell 😩 fics of all time truly#I keep finding new lines that knock me out every year when fp says I owe you everything ‼️#Why did we as a society stop writing fred and alice 🥺 they're best friends#And why did we stop writing fred sweaty and feverish and fp by his side treating him really niceys 🥺#It's the devotion....#How they never had the right timing ‼️🥺 THEY ARE SO SAD YOUR HONOUR#Their AA/NA era that exists now only in my memories 🥲#Shoutout to their sweaty teenage van sex also 💕 Kim understood the assignment we were all on that clown to clown
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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I’m still not feeling 100% unfortunately, but my brain is absolutely swimming with the want to write, I just think full fledged fics are off the table for another day or two because wow I am not doing well
But I would really really love to hear your guys thoughts/hc’s on yandere!characters/polys and chat about them!
Please feel free to send in any of your thoughts on any character/poly/scenario with (eg, yandere Eddie, yan fruity four, yan steddie etc) and I will write and write about how brilliant and correct you are but also how that could all go down and what that could look like and potential worldbuilding and etc etc etc 👀
#I’m hoping to feel well soon but I need to hear ur thots™️ on yandere charas and spend my time#just absolutely delving into your asks and talking about yes u r so right yan Robin absolutely would#cry after kissing u the first time and here’s exactly how it would go before during and every time she kisses u after let’s expand on ur#thought forever thanks here’s every hc ever abt that <333#or like the multi posts au’s eg abt Nancy knocking reader out/birth ctrl stuff#like au worldbuilding among different asks/all of us I love those types of posts so much <33#like they can be sweet or V angsty or citrussy or just thought experiments but I would love to hear some of your guys thoughts/imagines 👀💕#like esp any imagine scenarios bc holy FUCK y’all actually make my heart drop to my stomach with those (/pos)#it can literally be any thought ever abt them but I will love u forever I am in dire need to give them some love 😭💔#cc chats#yandere fruity four#yandere Eddie munson#yandere steve harrington#yandere Robin Buckley#yandere Nancy Wheeler#also as soon as I’m well I wanna write a yan f4 fic I am in need to do so </33#but ofc ur always welcome to send me any chats abt anything <3#forgive my ill ramblings also lmfao 😭 ily all
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I have been here one full day and I am already ready to go back to my apartment why am I like this 🙃
also please lord tell me what have I eaten that has completely ruined my stomach, I feel like I've been nauseous since I got here 😫
#i will get over it and be sad to leave in two days haha#i got to walk around the koreatown plaza out here and got snacks and milk tea w my sister#then we went to lunch w my parents 😊#and grocery shopping#then lin left and my parents and i went to a few places for fun#we watched the last voyage of the demeter a n d everything everywhere all at once together#(finally seeing it!!!! it was great & loving and i cried)#(because of course)#my mom got up at one point and got dizzy she fell and kept falling and it was Really sudden and very scary#all the plants were knocked over and i was immediately screaming like an idiot#but i helped her up and we walked slow to the bathroom together so i could look her over and make sure nothing was too bad#she skinned her arm in a places - she's so skinny so it bled a lot which was also scary.#i may have immediately stress cried while i was helping with her and we sat together for a long time to talk#then my dad was So Upset so he had to vent#(i understand his frustration to a point but i also feel like he's holding everyone else to this standard in his mind - )#(- of how they should “deal” with my mom having cancer - that my older siblings aren't “stepping up to help”)#(but he literally talked about my mom fading away and getting weaker every day like she wasn't sitting right next to him ???)#(and she was!)#i don't know MAN#i dont have things figured out at all but ot made me so angry and so sad#i know he is just feeling hurt and upset 🫠🫠🫠
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