#and it hurts and sucks so bad idk how to cope with it lol

[bunnihearted]

🫖

[androdetective]

since someone already asked for au poli (THANK YOU), can i ask for ur thoughts on og poli? :o]

also as a bonus, any thoughts on the official playlists for the characters?

I think I'll start off with my thoughts on the official playlists for the characters as my thoughts are more shorter. I like them! You can tell the characters are older with their tastes lmaoo. Theyre still pretty good though. My personal favorites are Juan Carlos' and Juanín's as they're more my tastes lol. I feel like the playlists say something about the characters. Off the top of my head, Juanín's playlist is filled with sad love songs with themes of longing for something good. And his character just so happens to deal with shitty friendships. I feel like we can assume he values friendship a lot because he tolerates so much of his friends' bullshit and still sticks around and cares for them a lot. And ofc he wouldn't like that so I can assume he just wants better. At least, that's what I get from it. I just care about Juanín a lot 😭

As for og Poli, I have several thoughts. First off, he's very funny 💀 I love how mean he can be like you go girl. Policarpo is honestly, just a superficial person. He's fake and a snake and he has pride. He gets friends and family he knows for the top rankings. He'll take bribes for who'll be the top ranking. (as seen in that one season finale) He's one of the several mean, superficial, and insecure characters on the show (ie tulio, bodoque) He has gossip on everyone and is willing to reveal things to humiliate others or just for entertainment. He is willing to screw others over for whatever reasons. And of course, when you're in an already mean environment, you're gonna get mean. I feel like bc of all the puppets' insecurities and their proneness to being mean, it ends up making the others even meaner in a bad cycle. Policarpo cares about his image. A lot. He is very careful to keep a tidy image. When it got revealed that he was bald, this caused an international scandal (💀). And it genuinely hurt Policarpo a lot. He had to rely on his friends to reassure him (and even then they still initially laughed at him. Assholes 💀) He cares about not only his public image but even his image amongst his friends. None of his friends even knew he was bald (and tbf, I wouldn't tell them that either they fucking suck) The first time he presented feminine, everyone was surprised. While it seems like they know Policarpo, they also don't at all. And Poli probably does that on purpose. Maybe bc his friends are shit. Maybe bc he just doesn't trust anyone with personal information like that. He doesn't trust them to present femininely more often around them. He doesn't like to admit that he's dressing femininely whenever he dresses very femininely. Even when his friends already know. It's sad to think about honestly. He's one of the several characters with low confidence in being their genuine selves and would rather cover it up with a (near) perfect image, superficiality, and meanness. They try to be in control of their image as much as they can but that's just impossible. To get over this unhealthy way of coping, they'll have to realize it's alright to be imperfect. But in an environment where everyone laughs at each other for the smallest things + general mistreatment, that's near impossible.

Idk how to explain it but this series feels so latino bc of the way the characters cope like actual traumatized/mistreated latinos do. Idk man 💀

[waybeforeyourtime]

TALK TO SIMON ABOUT IT!!

Listen, Wille's right. Simon's right. People suck.

Look at Boris trying to teach August humanity 101.

IDK if I'm going to survive 2,5 more episodes of Simon's sad face.

you're dumbasses. your hormones have made you so stupid.

no one is being honest. including you two! and damn how do these two have so much chemistry!

SELL THEM OUT FELICE! SELL THEM OUT!

If micke hurts her, I'm going to punch my screen.

Damn, Malte for giving August so much depth.

Sara, this is why I love you. You know, and that's why you're always sad.

August, it's not a woman's job to make you a better person. (And anyone reading this, it's NEVER your job to make someone a better person.)

sidebar: I hated the comment 'we feel emotions more than others'. Well, tbh, that's bullshit. We can't gauge how anyone feels emotions. We can only see the reaction to that emotion. There is no such thing as an Empath. And it's not that people with mental illness feel things more deeply, it's that they don't have the coping mechanism to process that feeling or to work through it in a healthy way.

Let's sneak away and have sex because everyone is always watching us. And let's hold hands and grin like idiots in front of everyone to see. lol

They've said, 'I love yous'. It's more than halfway through the season. It's about to get bad. real bad. omg so bad.

Seriously, Simon?! All this time living with a neurodivergent sister and you haven't worked that out yet?

Shit. That's it. That's the moment Simon knows that he really doesn't trust him.

No please don't let that turn into something so bad that he cries again. :(((((((( But I know.

I hate this. It's like when I was watching the Oscars last night, and the Godzilla Minus One SFX team was up there, and I kept thinking, 'Don't you dare play the music over him, you monsters!!' And then they did. Yeah. That phone call was like that.

[glitchyred]

Hellooo, just a random thought here. Been listening to immortals and started connecting the vibe such gave me to pokepasta bcs yeah.

(fear yet crave to have something from a timeless memory and it hurts and we live forever in an abstract sense of nothingness that's filled once we remember again -lyrics towards the curtains part-, uneven repetition of the string of lone crashes upon us that form a haunting void only so close to what was once wishes to become a source of peace at their painful remains, until it's gone after all fades while everything else becomes part of the parallel world we were in before the old lullaby arrived to reclaim the cries for their choir, the peaceful fright from their leave clinging to ourselves consciousness.)

(idk, music I'd feel so deep while on the balcony in the middle of the night staring at the dark sky while alone with ringing in my brain from the lack of enough noise after some stupid shit and remembering similar things that led to similar scenarios to retroactively feed the burn in heart and throat, but it's cold outside lol so then I'm a microwaved-whatever-halfdefrosted that wants to howl out to the moon and fly towards the clouds with the high wind until myself extinguished at the point near ashes so I'd keep flying around far away even if tied to the burns lol.)

Being immortal sounds awful af in these pastas' situations tbh, yet sounds comforting in a twisted manner that I have no idea how to explain (maybe merely the soothing singing and nostalgia getting to brain, like a take on 'we suffer and it sucks but I'm addicted¿ to the fact we even share such thingso I won't stop either of us meanwhile' from a perspective, unhealthy coping bs )

What do you think? Some scenario/emotion of a pasta evoked by the song?

(Not focusing by the "romantic" aspect of the lyrics but imma take them as not directed to a person, rather a wish to keep experiencing something -but not for long🎵- heh, couldn't let go of in spite of result.)

LMAO DW ABT RAMBLING I say my inbox is always open for a reason. I haven't thought about this song in foreverrrrr but I get what you mean I think

It is a strongly reoccurring theme in Pokepastas that the characters are "trapped" in a specific time, by virtue of being games one is meant to replay over and over, either incidentally implying immortality or thru a more nuanced Infinite Looping Afterlife (LS). I have a lot to say about Pokepastas and their reflections of Childhood Trauma in that regard, but I'll save the essay and just say read Glitchy Red Retold /silly

That being said, call me an optimist, but immortality gets more of a bad rep this days than I think is necessary. I'm a firm believer of life having cycles, every low point necessitates a high one, which I think comes through in a couple of my projects. A Reason to Live as a short one, which subverts the usual "endless looping suffering" trope by implying that Amanita was reborn without their memories, and Semicolon as a whole having strong themes of immortality both through memory and literally (via Slenderman refusing to let people die). You are only stuck in suffering as long as you allow yourself to be, I think (purely neutral statement; I know there's usually some morality tied into that line of thought but I think it's way more nuanced than that lol), so breaking these characters out of their Loops and making them realize that unending time means limitless time to move forward is. Cathartic, I think. After what the contents of most pokepastas are like lol

Hopefully that all made sense?? I'm also kinda rambling lol. Thanks for the asks!!

[yappingmoxie]

idk I think a few years ago when I really realized what all was happening. like I loved (and love that’s important) my family and wanted as much time with them as possible. but a part of me was like “this is bad. this is really bad. and it’s gonna get worse. for sure it is going to get worse. but then you can grieve and things will be lighter and eventually easier. you’ll find new ways to cope and things will suck and you’ll miss them forever but it won’t be so painful. for them or for you. they’ve made their peace so you need to start too” and I know it’s selfish. but none of that is true lol. not in the least. I want em all back. even in the worst of it. I knew how to handle that. knew how to just be when they were here. knew how to care for them and look after them and help. I mean that’s all I’ve ever done. and that’s not a complaint for anyone except my mom. but now I just don’t have that. and life feels a little purposeless. idk. when you’ve been taught since a kid that your reason for being there is looking after people and then all the people you have to care for die it’s hard. and I mean. those were some of the most traumatizing years of my life. having to see family slowly go from strong and themselves to weak and not. like I wouldn’t wish watching ppl you love waste away like that on anyone bc it genuinely is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. but yet I’d be right back there in the worst of it. feeling like there’s no way my heart could break any more if it meant I had them back and could love them. all of them. I talk about my grandma a lot but really I think that’s just because she was always with everyone. I miss my aunt. and my uncle. and my papa. and even sometimes I miss my stupid ass mom. I saw every one of my family cry and they never cried. and I think about that a lot. I remember when my aunt was in hospice and how my uncle never left her side. he still talked to her just like he did before. kept saying how he heard that their hearing is the last thing to go and that broke me a little bit. he didn’t want her to be lonely and I don’t think she was. she had a room full of people loving her. and that was right. that is how everyone should leave. but it doesn’t work that way and it makes me so so so angry. I was the only one who visited my papa. I was the only one who took my grandma to see him. me and her had to be there alone and hear him cry and beg to come home and talk about how he missed us. and we couldn’t and that broke me too. the fact that that was only a few weeks before he died hurts to think about. I think the last thing I remember feeding him was some cherry pie. idk why I remember weird little things like that. I’m glad I do but I also hate it. because I love remembering them. all of them. but I hate it too because it hurts so fucking much all the goddamn time. they’re everywhere but actually here with me. they were all so ingrained into my life for my whole life that it genuinely just feels like bits of me, the bits that are me, are missing. just snatched right out of me and I feel so empty and literally nothing has can or will make me feel whole again. I do not see how people deal with grief when it is so suffocating for me. I know I’m not the only person to experience grief. and I’m sure other people have experienced it worse, as hard as that is to imagine. but grief is so fucking tricky that it really does just make you feel alone in it.

[genderqueerdykes]

Sometimes I feel really upset that I'll never really be able to 'pass' as not woman, (probably w/o hrt that is), and it sucks getting misgendered so easily. Like when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see a woman but then I go out and most strangers don't hesitate she/her-ing me and idk what to do to get people to like not say that lol. Like my hair is the longest it's been in 2 years, (I'd buzzed it all off the past like 6-ish years), and I really like how it looks and don't want to cut it off but even when I had the short hair I was still being called 'she/her'. And then there's the voice which is probs a big factor in the way I get gendered and well....

Idk, I don't want to let strangers affect my perception of myself but it's hard not to feel kinda bad when people dont perceive me the way me and my friends do :(

Sorry if this is probably a repeat of another anon or ask you've received, feel free to ignore this.

hello there, i'm sorry other people are making you feel alienated from yourself- strangers and social transition are often the hardest part of being trans and a lot of people end up staying in the closet because of these things, so i understand why it's feeling so overwhelming for you. it's not an easy thing to cope with and i'm sorry to hear it's made you feel this way

unfortunately, people are often raised to make assumptions about strangers based upon how their bodies look and their voices sound, because folks are taught it's "polite" to aggressively gender a stranger to affirm them. it's not really your fault, it's parents failing to teach their children that people can come in any shape and form, and that person's fault for not learning how to respect other's boundaries. it's a cultural and societal failing

if you're able to, try to remind yourself that you know who you are. you don't have to identify a certain way because of the she/her's. i know they hurt to hear, but that doesn't mean they're right about who you are. they know nothing about you, they've never truly gotten to meet you, and they're making a very baseless and shitty assumption. a lot of people choose to see the she/her's in a drag queen way, and i think it helps to remind yourself that pronouns don't = gender and that person literally doesn't know your identity, so they're not correct. you are the expert on yourself

sometimes vocal training without hormones can help, sometimes changing the way you dress can help, and some folks use makeup to make their faces look more masculine. there are a few ways you can change the way others see you without hormones, i hope you're able to find something that works for you. at the very least, i'm glad your friends understand you for who you are. it may help to see if you can reach out to any lgbt organizations in your area, and see if you can hang out with other queer people who don't judge folks based off of opinion and voice. having a community can help a ton. even online communities can be super helpful

i hope you're able to find a way to feel a bit better, i know people can be very shitty and make assumptions that hurt us, it's a massive failing on society's behalf to take care of all of us, not just some of us. it's not fair, and it's okay to be hurt when people address you incorrectly. i wish you the best of luck, take care, and stay safe out there, if you need anymore help feel free to ask

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

Pissing someone off live and pissing them off via text are two different things.

“No shit, Tobias,” I know, but it’s true.

I crack when I have to react to anger and irritation in real time. Have to recall exactly what it was that I said or did, how/where it went wrong, cope with the fact that I failed at a social interaction, try not to spiral because I failed at something, AND monitor my expressions and tone and movements throughout so I don’t unintentionally make the situation worse than it is while also trying to decide what to say in response or if I should say anything at all, among other tiny factors. I either start crying (ew unappealing vulnerable state) or just stare at the ground like a dog getting scolded (ew I feel like I’m being forced into a character role).

When I’m not visible and have some time and space to think, it’s sooo much easier. The same sting of “I fucked up and I suck for that” is there, but I don’t have to put on a physical show, I can just do whatever my face feels like doing. Tone and wording is still something to worry about but I can go back and edit that before I send it off so it’s not as big a deal. I can often look and see exactly where the interaction went wrong and look at it from different angles to see how it could be interpreted differently than I meant.

And the extra room gives me a chance to separate my ego a bit. Maybe this one bad interaction doesn’t mean I suck at everything forever. I slipped, I didn’t think my word choice through too well. These things happen, to err is human. It’s okay, really. I’m okay. But I still need to apologize because someone was still hurt.

I don’t know what the point of this was, lol. Just wanted to yammer about myself and my mental processes a bit. Maybe someone will find this relatable or helpful idk.

[lc-39a]

ok feelings . uhhh what did i even wanna say. it wasn’t anything good. sorry

uh i wanna talk about how much self shipping sucks for me personally. and ik what ur thinking, “disco i thought you loved it” and the answer to that is yes i do, and i wouldn’t give it up for the world, but let me cook ok

it’s an integral part of my personality and i will never let it go, but genuinely sometimes it hurts so much. remembering there may be someone else out there feeling the same way for the same character absolutely fucking blows, and no amount of affirmations will stop that (tho i love and appreciate anyone and everyone who has ever done that). and it’s like, painful and infuriating to not have everyone in the fanbase of a thing know me and acknowledge me as Character’s Girlfriend/Wife. maybe that’s fucked up and deeply narcissistic of me, maybe it just means i’m human, idk. whatever

anyway. idk what i’m trying to say here. i think my relationship with selfshipping is so strained bc i can’t write or draw. i mean i can but it’s so hard to make myself type the right words or draw the right thing, and even when i do that i either a: don’t finish it, or b: finish it by some miracle and pretend to like the result so that i don’t just delete it. i come around to liking my stuff sometimes, and it’s nice to have a time capsule of my feelings, but like…

idk. it feels like i burn through the excited energy and then just crash and think “well… that was cringe :/” and then stop thinking about whatever ship it was about for like 5 months. and i fucking hate that so much. hang on i’m gonna go back up and put in a read more

ok that’s better (i apologize, but am appreciative, if you read this far). anyway, what else did i wanna say. oh yeah uh i hate how it’s so hard to build like, any sort of following/friend group here unless you post constantly and get commissions/have artistic talent of your own and/or ship with the currently popular media’s cool character. like when i made this blog (spring 2019) i felt like i could make friends but it became pretty clear pretty quick that it just wasn’t really gonna happen (kitty of course is the exception and she is my best friend in the entire universe, kitty if ur reading this i love you). i have had positive interactions with others on here but. idk

just feels like we’re all talking to voids bc a lot of us find it hard to get hyped about ships we aren’t familiar with the canon of, and even if we are, we’re selfshipping mainly to cope and stay focused on our ships. and that’s not a bad thing really, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s just something i’ve noticed

idk. in the end i kinda feel empty sometimes. i love my f/os but that doesn’t change the fact that i’m almost entirely incapable of feeling any attraction to real people. i know i’m not “broken,” and tbh life without it is a hell of a lot simpler and easier (like seriously cishet neurotypical relationship shit is so fucking stupid)… but it still hurts. especially compounded with my genuine belief that nobody in this world is meant for me (i was meant for peter, but we got separated. that sounds stupid when i type it but no take backs lol)… i just want to feel something, and believe it. that’s much rarer than you’d think

whatever. thanks for reading if you got to this point. sorry if any of this comes off as guilt tripping or any sort of manipulative. that’s not how i meant it and i care about y’all.

i just got a burst of manic energy and i wanna write out a bunch of feelings hang on a sec

[c-kiddo]

Caduceus clay for the 002 character ask!! <33

heck ye :-3 as if i dont talk abt him enough 🌿🍵🫖

Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: best wee guy on the planet. like him soo much. good aroace rep whomst means a whole lot to me :'-3 unfortunately got vry overlooked but thats ok bc me and the lads make up for that by thinking he's so swag. idk man! yous know! i like him so much!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: none. begone aphobes *zaps you*

My non-romantic OTP for this character: jes and cad ;_; see my jester version of this bc i already cried abt them.. i just care about them sm. also wildbrothers is fun, i like the progression from fjord being scared of cad, to cad being his mentor, to being friends, to cad being fjords horrid little sibling about to do evil pranks

My unpopular opinion about this character: i like him better than molly, and also think him being in the party works much better and balances out the story too.. i guess thats unpopular lol (sidenote i think how the story went bc molly died is vry vry good. it worked so well. like, tal passing the dreams onto cad in a way that worked and that cad mistook for guidance from the wildmother.. so great. i love it so much.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: haha.. . .. :-) yeah. someone shouldve asked him if he was ok, after he walked out after being confronted by calliope. ik they didnt know what he told them apart from vague things about eating flowers, about coping, but he was Clearly upset, so clearly upset. and i know cad doesnt let himself be helped. and i know tmn are awkward. but they comfort others. the rest of them feel like they have a specific person to talk them out of things (veth and caleb, fjord and beau, fjord and jes, yasha asking cad for advice).. it feels like cad didnt really. jes and beau checked, beau checked after the arboretum. but there were so many points someone else couldve pressed just a little more, even though he keeps avoiding it :'/ also, i know it was the finale and so lots was happening, but i sorta wish that the fact that he straight up endured trauma in that last ep was addressed.. his home, his temple, was burnt down. and we know that the wildmothers temples are extremely important to him.. and its just also where he grew up :( it sucks that that happened

my OTP: no

my cross over ship: nah

a headcanon fact: he got autism and i-adhd and psychosis . so tru. :-3 also he has hEDS, and likes scaring fjord with his hypermobile backwards elbows. he samefoods porridge and tea most of all, even when he's having a fun time cooking for others.. sometimes he jus cant manage too many Things and Textures. he has a fun time making his own clothes and likes drawing on big papers bc has dyspraxia n struggles with fine motor details like buttons and things. he's got like 3 teeth missing from when he's alone. sylvan's his family's first language. he got bad circulation. and his tummy hurts but he's being so brave about it.

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

hey, you've talked somewhat about your dealings with chronic pain and i was just wondering what are some ways that you make it better?? idk if that makes sense but just ways to cope with the pain. there are a lot of different types of chronic pain but just anything that helps you. i want to write and type so bad but my hands hurt lol, any advice?

Hi nonny I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your hands right now, and balancing that with the need to be creative is a struggle i relate to a lot ><

i know you asked after my experiences specifically but i do want to emphasize they are as such for a reason, so the context is important to keep in mind. please be careful of what you try!! i'm not a doctor, and if you can, i do think its important that you see one who can give you help thats bespoke to your condition.

but i do think theres some things that are general enough that i can offer. off the top of my head, i also really wanna emphasize trying out voice to text programs to see if they work for you!!!

im not gonna put this under a cut btw no need to make you click anything extra

first - youre probably not gonna like it very much but you need to rest your hands.

pain is our bodies way of telling us to stop, and its important that we listen to that information and respect it to keep us from doing more harm to ourselves! be patient. pushing it too soon means its gonna take longer to get back into creating. it sucks, i know, but its the sad truth.

this means staying away from holding things, especially heavier things like a phone, big cups, handling heavy groceries, etc. mobile phones are very important to stay from as much as possible, not just because they can be heavy, but the way we hold them is ususally not good for our hands, wrists, elbows, or necks anyway.

if you do need to handle your mobile phone, place it on a surface. hold it yourself as little as possible!

if your mobile phone or mobile device is all you have, it might be worth investing in holders, external keyboards, and wireless mice, if you think this is long term for you. the reason i invested in a computer is 100% for this reason. i just cant do phones very well anymore.

this can also mean trying to avoid things that require fine motor control like twist off caps, writing with a pen, doing up buttons, tying shoe laces, etc. i also try to stay away from skinny objects that require me to flex my hand tighter is harder on me also. if you trusy someone enough, even ask someone else to brush your hair for you.

when my hands are bad, i switch to using my cutlery in a baby grip instead of the way i was taught for 'manners'. Holding my fingers that way, especially while holding an object, strains my ligaments, joints, etc.

if you have problems with your hands a lot, buying thick handled cutlery like this kiddo is holding wouldn't be a bad idea! thats one thats on my to do list. theres lots of equipment out there thats made for troubled hands, its definitely worth looking into. hell, even straws for drinking are mucho valuable! same with paper plates and plastic cutlery that are lighter. make things easy for yourself wherever you can if you can.

second - ergonomics.

ergonomics are SO IMPORTANT. again, how we hold our hands can contribute a lot to injury and reinjury, which means its important to be mindful of that.

a lot of this is gonna be computer centric but i'd still suggest at least reading the links if you dont have one.

my biggest problem area is technically my wrists, so i need to pay special care to them in particular. because im on the computer a lot, this means creating a keyboard and mouse set up thats as supportive to healthy arm/wrist/hand posture as possible.

if youre up to it id suggest reading this link -> https://ergonomictrends.com/proper-ergonomic-typing-posture-at-computer/

and this link -> https://creakyjoints.org/living-with-arthritis/text-type-less-pain-arthritis/

not everything in here is applicable to me but i found the pencil test in particular very helpful! please be careful of the stretches in here - if youre already injured it does NOT take a lot to make it worse.

now, it can be easy to think an ergonomic computing setup costs a lot of money, cus capitalism is a tricky bitch, but things like stuffed animals , ice packs, and shifting tables around has helped me to get an ergonomic set up.

also, id worry less about screening for typos, capitalization, etc, in general. on a keyboard capitalization requires flexing the hand. if youre in a state, give yourself permission not to bother, and typos on tumblr dot com fit right in.

THAT SAID, thats in regards to typing specifivally. while helpful, i do find theyre a bit less helpful with my mouse.

that said

four - the mouse.

the mouse is actually the easiest part of computing for me personally. theres lots of ways that it can be used that i can effectively manage my pain - switching hands, using different parts of my hand, different positions, etc. that said i think if theres anything ergonomic worth buying, itd probably be an ergonomic mouse.

now im not sure what your set up is but on windows computers in the start menu theres a list of tools under ease of access

i use the on screen keyboard to do my typing because im voice-shy lol uwuw

BUT and this could also be mega valuable if you only have a phone

you can use voice to text to write

This is an option thats possible on mobile and desktop devices, and tbh if youre having hand pain, dont mind speaking out loud, but still want to write i'd really suggest this!!! it would allow you to rest your hands so they can heal while still getting out those creative energies so you can balance your emotional well being too.

alright, now...

this is the part i feel would need the most disclaimers, and would suggest that if you do this you ask for help, be they from your pharmacy, from other people who share your specific condition, or if possible a doctor.

It's basically the rest of RICE, plus some, but its easy to do more damage with them, so take care.

-> Elevate. Depending on the kind of injury, elevation can take the stress off and improve blood circulation to the area so it heals better.

-> ice/heat. this one is very easy to fuck up so be careful but switching between ice and heat can help relieve pain and speed up healing a smidge, depending on your condition. Ice works better for me because mine is an inflammatory disease and heat draws in blood to the area - this is how it helps progress healing iirc but also means extra inflammation. cold does the opposite so thats my preference.

-> compression and stability. wrist braces can help keep your hands supported while they heal, compression gloves are another one thats good for. well a lot of things but specifically circulatory issues that can mean pain. These NEED to be fitted for best results so if you can't get any customized to you talk to a pharmacist - most drugs stores will have these in stock. also they look cool >) a brace is not the same as a compression glove so keep an eye out! its easy to make mistakes when we're in pain. be kind to yourself.

-> over the counter pain medications. again, ask your pharmacist. which ones you can or can't take will be dependant on you. these can include topicals btw!! I don't use topicals because I have cats i don't want to poison, but my mom does. we have the same condition and she found that warming creams with CBD in them were especially beneficial for her hand pain. if you don't mind shelling out money and there's a Chinese medicine practitioner in your area, my mom has also had a TON of success with our local one's topicals and acupuncture. But again, this is usually a pretty expensive option, and rightfully so imo.

i personally found these fuckers to be very helpful, but i can't take them anymore because they interact another med i'm on now. but again this sort of thing is something to be careful with, especially if you're worried about your liver or kidneys or stomach lining. if you need to, don't be shy about getting someone else to open this for you. even at the store if you have to go by yourself!!!

-> i try to be careful of what i eat. if you struggle with this, please, please be mindful of not triggering yourself, and just skip to the next point.

that said, some foods do seem to aggravate or even trigger inflammation. while i cant afford to stick to an anti-inflammatory diet, I can be mindful of moderating things like my sugar and alcohol intake. a little treat is fine once in a while but i do try to shop with a preference for products that are under 15% of sugar/serving, or find products with stevia in them. for some reason aspartame seems to increase my pain levels.

also try to drink a lot of water. its hard to heal when we're dehydrated! if you can, use a straw so you dont have to hold your cup!!

five - again, try to get as much rest as you can.

if youre in a significant amount of pain, which it sounds like you are, the sleep you're getting probably isn't very restful, and your body and mind are going to have a lower threshhold for exhaustion anyway because

pain is tiring. straight up, it's exhausting. this also means your mood is probably gonna take a fuck of a hit if you're anything like me, and if you have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent you might have a little more trouble with self management for a bit, so play close attention and baby yourself as much as possible. use your skills. if you need help finding some i do have some uploaded on my tumblr under the tag

'mental health resources'

so above all, i reiterate, whenever possible, give yourself permission to just do nothing. veg the fuck out. be patient, and seek out things you can still enjoy.

six - that said, do try to keep moving at least a little bit.

it can be possible to guard body parts over much and lead to more injuries with over compensating or if the area becomes 'locked'. it can also just mean that we need to build up our strength again. once you or your doctor or pharmacist even thinks its safe, try little itty bitty stretches. test and challenge your range of motion. this is why i'm so aggro about drawing when i can lmao but DON'T push it.

seven - self compassion meditations.

i thought these were hoaky until i did them in a therapy group and now im hooked LOL

now, which meditations i use when im in pain are...i need to be picky about them. grounding meditations in particular really seem to bring my pain top of mind and make it worse. but self compassion meditations are ones i've found some success with, and these are applicable to mental illness as well.

here's 2 ive gone thru and i think theyre decent

the above does need your hands but i found this one in particular to be very effective for my pain actually. PLEASE modify the instructions as you see fit to care for your pain!!

At the end of the day though the thing that's helped me most was getting treatment for my condition and following it as close as possible.

i'm wishing you luck and compassion and patience nonny. sending you strength. please find as many reasons to make every moment as enjoyable as possible - listening to music, watching your favourite show, snuggles - anything that lifts you up spiritually and emotionally and mentally that you can. feel your feelings, but give yourself enrichment so the next minute, hour, tonight, tomorrow, day after, next week, next month, is something you can still look forward to.

hope you feel better soon.

[maschotch]

I will die on the hill that the foyet arc was the last truly well done villain arc of the show (or maybe the best overall). Doyle was great in season 6, but the way they ended it in season 7 SUCKED. Everything about foyet, the fact that he won, the fact that they didn’t drag it out longer then it needed, the fact that it ended with hotch literally letting out years and years of pent up rage and murdering foyet. It didn’t feel over done, foyet didn’t feel over the top. He was scary not because he was absolutely op, because at the end of the day, he was a human, and he felt like he could be someone real. The replicator plot, mr scratch, cat adams, they didn’t come close because they either 1) just messed up the ending or 2) dragged for too long OR 3) they were just so overpowered that they almost didn’t feel connected to the real world. Foyet actually had a lasting impact. Hell, the rest of season five for me was almost impossible to watch because it just felt......depressing? I finished 100 and the end of his arc and that’s how I remember foyet. The unsub who actually won, who actually destroyed the life of a main character. Even if the other unsubs had their one good episode, I never finished their arcs with such a impactful feeling as I did with foyet.

i totally agree. read the first sentence and was like >>:( ready 2 defend doyle lmao but ur right the s7 thing just killed it. i think they did the build up to foyet better... idk i just like the way we see emily unravel.. hotch falling apart waiting for foyet to attack again just... ugh those eps are so miserable lmao

everything u said ab the overpowered unsubs is so fucking true. like its ridiculous that everyone has to have like a 182309 IQ and be a computer genius and also an expert chemist and have access to funds and jahwejfnakjcha like shut UP. foyet being just a man.. there's something so special about that. he just had so much patience.. and self control that rivals hotch's. but he was only ever just a man

that being said there are definitely some things that bring that whole arc way down. like haley dying for Man Pain... like oof. come on guys. we're better than that. haley's better than that. hotch is better than that. and the way they handled his return to work was just.. awful askjdhlgkj like ik they were probably scrambling for a way for hotch to stay on the team so he doesnt leave the show lmao but honestly he shouldve left. i mean there is the matter of pride. like if hotch quit his job then that's just another thing foyet took away from him. but like.. ur son is worth more than that lol maybe go be a dad for a bit

first two eps of season 5.... iconic. i love to see hotch suffer <3 but they took it to the point where even i was uncomfortable akjsdhgl like i love to see my chars get hurt bc im a freak or whatever but like.. man. what they did to hotch was fucking brutal. the team's reaction is also just... very well done akshdgl. like.. he's not infallible anymore. he plays that strong stoic role so well that i think its easier for them to forget that he really is just some guy like he's flesh and blood just like they are. reid and garcia's conversation "i dont think ive seen him blink" like they barely register him as human. not in a bad way.. i think its their own coping mechanism.. like no matter what they'll have hotch there to lead them and pull them back to their feet. and that picture shattered. vs morgan and emily who have a different perspective. morgan would think of hotch like reid/penelope but his experiences with his own father definitely doesn't let him delude himself into thinking anyone is completely safe/untouchable. so he worries but he worries with anger bc of how afraid he is of losing the man who means so much to him. emily never really saw him in the role the others see him as.. they all "grew up" with him, like he was there from the beginning of their careers as a profiler. emily views hotch more on equal ground, so hers really is just the concern of a friend.

i dont think criminal minds does well with overarching plots like that. they really do drag on for so long and getting like a five minute mention for 5/10 episodes in a row before getting back to the Unsub of the Week just feels.. weird. (which is why i think the build up to doyle felt so much more natural. she was actively trying to distract herself and act normal.) the replicator was kinda fun like he wasnt as annoying as some of the others. but yeah the hitmen arc and mr scratch... both of those dragged on for SEASONS and like oh my fucking god i dont give a shit anymore ajskhdlg every time i rewatch i care just as little as i did before. it just takes way too long

[writingtoforgetreality]

I Remember (Malcolm Bright x Reader)

Request: uM hi saw ur request post while i was scrolling through malcolm bright x reader tag lol so may i request an x reader w malcolm where reader's gil's niece or smth so she and mal know each other before he joined the team- and one day where mal was being a dumbass and reader was told to drive mal home and when she was securing his restraints he jokingly asked her to sing to him aNd she did sing and fell asleep on the bed by opposite mal aND he got a good amount of sleep like no night terrors and next day he accidentally slipped that reader ''slept'' w him and gils just like excuse me wtf?? Djkdkdlsjsjs idk i got this idea when i was staring at the ceiling at 4 am instead of doing my essays that were due in the morningxD sorry its p long. Thanks and have a good day/night (by @iwillboilyourteeth), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]

Summary: Malcolm got hurt again. What a surprise. And, as always, you were right there to take care of him. Tonight, though, things took a turn. For the better or for the worse? Only the future would tell.

Words: 2,142

Warnings: language, love me some sarcasm, fluff, so much fluff, I love writing for Prodigal Son (keep the requests coming)

Song used: “I Remember” by Jason Manns

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were sitting in your apartment when your phone started ringing loudly, interrupting your movie marathon. Sighing exaggeratedly, you checked who decided to annoy you at this time. It was not too late but you liked your alone time a lot. Gil. Oh no. That could never be good.

“Uncle Gil. I hope whatever you’re about to tell me is more important than Harry Potter.” pausing the movie you were currently watching, you did not even give him enough time to greet you. A loud sigh could be heard over the phone. One, that made you laugh.

“(Y/N).” his voice was stern & you knew better than to mess with him. Yet, you could not help yourself.

“Yeah, that’s me. You called me, after all.” joking to ease the tension, your giggling was cut short by his next words.

“Malcolm is a dumbass.”

“What a revelation.”

“He’s hurt.” Gil stated. Throwing your head back in frustration, you knew he only called you if he knew it was not too bad. But bad enough to need your help. “I need you to come get him.” it was not even a question, more like an order. Immediately, you grabbed the stuff you needed & headed out of your apartment towards your car.

“Can I yell at him for being reckless?” opening the door, you got inside but before you started the engine, you waited for the call to end. Could not risk getting youself hurt. Malcolm was the stupid one, not you.

“I already did that but I’m sure he’ll appreciate to hear it again.”

“Good.”

“Drive safe.” Gil noted.

“See you in ten.” & with that you drove to the precinct where he would most likely wait for you.

Growing up, you spent a lot of time at Gil’s. Malcolm was there almost always, so you got to meet each other pretty early on. Deep down, you cared for him. More than you should care for a friend. And because of him being a profiler, you were sure he picked up on that as well. Malcolm was just nice enough to not comment on it. Besides, he would tell you that he was too broken anyway. The thing was that it never scared you away. It did the exact opposite, actually. It only made you want him more.

Did you ignore almost every speed limit? Possibly. Your knuckles were white because you had gripped the steering wheel so tightly. One of these days, you would kill Malcolm. He kept getting himself hurt & you were tired of being the one to drive him home afterwards. Of course, you knew Gil only called you because Malcolm trusted you enough but that did not change the fact that you were exhausted.

“What happened?” approaching Gil, your eyes looked around for a sign of Malcolm. “And where the hell is he?”

“Bathroom.” his finger pointed over. “He didn’t call backup & thought dealing with it alone would turn out fine.” Gil was, you could tell, almost as tired as you. Not only of Malcolm acting recklessly but also because of a long day at work.

“What a surprise.” your sarcasm got the best of you. But it helped you coping with your feelings sometimes. “Uncle Gil?” his head snapped up when you said his name.

“Yes?”

“Go home & get some sleep. I got it from here, promise.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & with a nod, he turned around & walked away.

“(Y/N)?” Malcolm noticed you when he walked out of the bathroom. His face was covered in bruised & by the way he was limping, you were sure that his entire body had to be sore. “Where’s Gil?”

“I sent him home.” shrugging as if it were nothing, you gave Malcolm a look. He knew what it meant but apparently, he wanted to play dumb.

“What?” his head tilted slightly & if it were not for his damn puppy eyes & for the fact that he was hurt, you would be the cause of his bruises. Not quite literally but still. Rolling your eyes at him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“You’re stupid, I hope you know that.”

“I do, but we caught the killer, so it was worth it.” he casually stated.

“Is it really worth risking your life, Mal?” shaking your head shortly, you were not in the mood to discuss this any further. A simple gesture of your hand was enough to show him that you wanted to get going. “Come on, I’m gonna bring you home.”

“You’re mad.” Malcolm noted when the both of you walked outside back to your car. Sighing loudly, you stopped for a brief moment.

“Yes. I’m mad because I can’t even count how many times we’ve been in this exact situation anymore. And it sucks. Because every single time Gil calls me, I think he’ll tell me that you didn’t make it out like you always do.” Malcolm’s eyes widened when you explained how you were feeling. Your body brushing past his made him turn around & follow you without another word. It was silent between you two until you arrived inside Malcolm’s apartment.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” he spoke up, his voice much softer now. When you saw him struggling to pull off his coat, you walked over to him to help him out.

“You don’t owe me an apology, Mal.” your back faced him when you went to put his jacket away.

“I do. You always take care of me when shit like that happens. And I wanted you to know that I don’t take that for granted. If I were you, I would’ve stopped caring a long time ago.”

“You know as much as I do that this won’t ever happen.” & it was true. Malcolm could mess up over & over again. Could get himself hurt & all that. But you would always be here to catch him, no matter what.

“I don’t deserve you.” his eyes bore into yours & by the look he gave you, you knew he was not talking about you taking care of him when he was hurt. He was referring to you as a person. Basically, he wanted to make you understand that he was not worthy of your love. Which was bullshit to you.

“You deserve so much & it hurts that you don’t see it.” the conversation dropped for the time being. Navigating your way through his apartment, you looked for something he could wear to bed. Soon enough, you found something suitable & when you walked back into the room ,you found Malcolm already sitting on his bed, head hanging low. He stopped you when he noticed your hands grabbing the shirt he was wearing. Sending him a confused look, your eyebrows raised in question.

“I think I can handle it from here on.” taking the clothes from you, he went to strip himself out of his workwear. Surprisingly, he could not move his body enough to achieve anything.

“Yeah, I can see that. Come on, don’t act like that, Malcolm.” it was not the first time you had helped him undressing. As mentioned earlier, the two of you had been in this situation too many times to count.

It did not take long & he was wearing comfortable clothes. After asking if he needed anything else, you went straight to his restraints & helped strapping him in. It amazed Malcolm how you were not weirded out by the fact that he had to be held down in order to have at least a few hours of sleep.

“(Y/N)?” his voice was barely above a whisper but your humming let him know that you heard him. “Can you sing something for me?” it was meant to be a joke, he simply wanted to ease the tension between you guys. Thinking about it for a second, you came to the conclusion that it would not hurt to do that. Maybe it would help him fall asleep? Malcolm eyes widened when you actually started singing quietly. It was soothing & he closed his eyes to focus solely on your voice.

Hey you, when I saw you walk in there

And I couldn’t help but stare

At the way you move your hands

‘Cause it’s the little things you do that drive me crazy

And now, let’s forget about the crowd

And just concentrate on us

So that you can know what I want you to know

 I remember how it started

You had everything I wanted

I was helpless to resist

But I didn’t want to

 Only if you would hold me tight

As we talked all through the night

About those things you won’t tell no one else

I know that we’ve got long ways to go

But I want you to know

That I’ll be there till the end, so don’t you worry

 I remember how it started

You had everything I wanted

I was helpless to resist

But I didn’t want to

‘Cause I fell in love with you-ou-ou

 After you finished, Malcolm still had his eyes closed, he just laid there for a while, recalling the words of the song. He knew what you were trying to tell him but if he had to be honest, he was scared. If the two of you were to try something, he thought you would leave him the moment you realized his demons were too much for someone to handle. Malcolm did not hear you leave his apartment, neither did he feel a movement. Opening his eyes slowly, he found you sound asleep right next to him. Your peaceful form made him smile brightly. Contemplating if he should wake you up, he decided against it in the end. Deep down, he knew you would not judge him he if he had a night terror next to you. And if he were honest, having you with him made him incredibly calm. That night, he fell asleep almost immediately, without any nightmares invading his dreams. The reason for it was you. Only you.

Malcolm woke up early the next morning. Work called. Okay, maybe Gild had told him to take a few days off but everyone who knew Malcolm, knew that he did not listen to such orders. Or any orders, in general. You were still asleep when he loosened his restraints. He left you a note behind before leaving his apartment for work.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay at home?” Gil questioned the second Malcolm entered the office where the rest of the team was already up & working.

“You did but I’m fine.” Gil rolled his eyes at his words. Usually, whenever Malcolm insisted on being fine, he was everything but. Examining his face closer, Gil was shocked to see him so…well rested?

“Wait. How much did you sleep last night? You look unusually awake.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s because I slept with (Y/N) last night.” Malcolm spoke casually & went to examine the pictures that were displayed on the table in the middle of the room. Gil’s eyebrows raised at that. Dani only sent him a weird look & JT almost choked on his coffee at Malcolm’s confession. There were some things he did not want to know & his love life was one of it.

“Excuse me, what now?” Gil was the first one to press the topic further. Everyone knew how protective he could get when it came to you, his niece. When Malcolm turned around, he found three pairs of eyes looking sternly at him. Wait, what did he say? Realization washed over his face & he only now noticed how wrong his words sounded without any given context.

“No, wait…That came out wrong.” closing his eyes briefly, he prepared an explanation for his confused co-workers. “(Y/N) drove me home yesterday & she helped me with my restraints & all. She fell asleep & I didn’t wanna wake her up.” Malcolm’s hands gestured wildly, not wanting to give them the wrong impression of last night’s events. JT pretended to understand what he explained even though he had no idea & frankly, he did not care too much. Malcolm had lost Dani’s interest a while ago, she continued working on the next case. Only Gil was left. He gave Malcolm a knowing look, went over to him & patted him on the shoulder.

“You better take care of her, Bright. Or you have to deal with me.” his threatening smile creeped Malcolm out but he knew Gil was only trying to keep you safe. Maybe you were the right one for him. Last night was proof enough. It was scary to take that next step but on the other hand, he wanted to take that risk. He wanted to give it a try. For the both of you.

Published (04/20/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @octopus5555 (thanks for your support <3)

[peechbea]

@yukiteruakari said: Ooooh I wanna know more about your headcanons :>>

idk if you meant abt the fic or Leon in general but i’m using this opportunity to ramble anyway, rip-

right off the bat, i hc that Leon’s mother died during childbirth and his father was devastated about it, but in order to support himself and Leon, he moved in with his brother and sister-in-law. since Leon grew up in the same house as Kanon, that's why he views her as more of a sister than a cousin

this is one i’ve already talked about here BUT, i hc Leon’s real name to be Kazuo Kuwata, but that’s also his father’s name, so before he changed his name, people called his father by his name and then they called Leon “Kazzy” or “Kaz”

( hearing people call Kazuichi “Kaz” still throws him for a loop )

he doesn’t like violence actually!! he’s temperamental and snarky sometimes, but he’ll avoid violence whenever he can, unless he has to, yknow,,,defend himself, just in case that would ever happen lol-

to add onto the above, i also like to think he stays far away from violence because he didn’t as a kid and it landed him in juvie ( which i also like to think is where he met Mondo briefly, but neither of them really remember each other )

and to add onto THAT, while he will avoid throwing a punch if he can, he will absolutely intervene if other people are getting hurt. even at the risk of his own safety, he’ll be the diversion so the original victim can escape bc, unlike the victim, he actually CAN defend himself if he needs to

in the game, it’s quickly brushed over but they mention breakfast meetings and after Toko says she’s never had breakfast with anyone before, Leon also joins in and says that it’s “been a while for him too”, so i like to think he USED to have breakfast with his family a lot as a kid, but then when tensions grew between him and his dad, he eventually stopped showing up altogether

the hair stylist he talks about in his FTE is actually an ultimate and a good friend of his and her name is Kaori, but they only really talked in the time Leon attended Hope’s Peak so he forgot her name by the time the KG rolled around

his hair is actually brown and surprisingly wavy, he just slathers it in hair gel to keep it upright

to add onto the above, Kazuo has blonde hair and green eyes while Leon has brown hair and blue eyes, which are both traits of his mother. the fact that he looks so much like her yet keeps changing his appearance is another thing that pisses his dad off, mans never coped with her death properly

this one may get a little long, but bear with me: when he and Kanon were kids, his dad was incredibly closed off emotionally, his uncle was VERY busy, and his aunt always felt like she was trying to be his mom and he didn’t really like that, i like to believe there wasn’t really anyone for he or Kanon to go to if there was a problem. so, in order to be the big brother figure he believed Kanon wanted him to be, he shoved his own emotions and problems way down and focused on helping her instead. since he was really the only person who ever cared for her or tried to support her, that’s why she got way too attached to him. he just didn’t realize how bad it was until they got older, and he feels bad about possibly cutting her off because there’s no one else for her to go to.

thanks to how he grew up, he is INCREDIBLY closed off and doesn’t like showing his emotions to anyone because helping people is HIS job, he can’t have people help him if they see him break, that’s not how it works 

AND ANOTHER THING, since he often felt alone as a kid, he sought out attention from other people, so he thrived on the approval that baseball gave him. eventually, he kind of got addicted to that attention and would seek it out in any way he could. he quickly found out that bad attention often kept people talking about him more often than good attention did, so he built up a reputation as a player even though he was never really interested in girls to begin with

( speaking of, i do think he is homoromantic/pansexual, if that clears up any confusion there might’ve been rip )

he's also just, really good at masking how he feels?? like, i could look at his behavior in chapter 1 as just something to make the game run smoothly, but i wanna look at it like this: Leon is panicking, he's stressed because he committed a murder that he JUST found out he's going to have to try and get away with, and yet his behavior doesn't even change. he wears his usual mask, makes his usual comments, still has the balls to be kind of an ass to Toko, and all this while he's probably crumbling inside. he has had so long to cover his feelings, man-

also?? he will always introduce himself as “Leon Kuwata”, but when he’s alone and talks to himself out loud, he still refers to himself as Kazuo

despite being an extrovert, he's still incredibly anxious, and that extends to public outings!! because of this, he's developed a kind of code for his friends so they know what he needs since words don't always work. a tug to someone's sleeve means "i need a second to calm down", two tugs means "i'm uncomfortable" or "i don't like this conversation/what's happening", and three means "my social battery is out" or "i need to leave ASAP"

the clip on his jacket and all those rings + his necklace??? they're there for show, mans has ADHD he needs stuff to fidget with

sometimes his brain is on autopilot and his thoughts mix with that autopilot, which sucks when he has to sign autographs. there’s been times where he’s signed things as “Kazuo Kuwata” and just prayed no one mentioned it

he doesn't trust easily!! not because he doubts people's intentions, but because he can't be sure they won't try to 1) use his fame to propel themselves upwards or 2) help him with his problems, which circles back to an earlier point. he loves to be seen but god forbid anyone understand him

his wikipedia page? nearly empty. it has his feats and public information on it, but stuff like his birthday or his real name aren't correct. the part where it would mention his life story & background is completely blank. he's also edited his height to say 6'0" ( ~182 cm ), this is not true, his shoes just give him a little extra height

 this one is just self indulgent but i like to think he’s drawn to Byakuya because he has his entire life planned out for him and has for a long time, meanwhile Leon has no idea what he wants to settle on for sure and is anxious/stressed but Byakuya never seems to be like that. he always seems cool and collected, and as Leon’s polar opposite, it’s only natural that he’s drawn to him

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

Reki and Langa’s dynamic

It’s speculation at my part and a shameless rant on what i like about sk8 just to get it off my chest I’ve been so fixated help

it’s 5am I’m at uni and i have a shit ton to do, am I really gonna make an essay about sk8 instead? yes abso-fucking-lutely. strap on to your metaphorical skateboards kids. this is going to be long ride

this isn’t to call out anyone lol so in case you get that impression I’m sorry. I understand everyone is out to interpret media in whatever they like and that’s fine, but sometimes i feel like either some missed some points of the story? anyway here are my thoughts tho

alright so what i absolutely love about sk8 is how they didn’t make anyone into a genius.Genius is a mockery of the hardships everyone does to attain that level of skills. And no Langa is not a genius or a prodigy which I will explain later. I’ve seen enough shounen animes back in the day and usually it’s ‘annoying heart of gold beginner vs. calm and collected genius’ they usually hate each other’s guts and bicker all the time though secretly, deep down care for each other but would rather die than admit it dynamic. While I’m glad we’re moving past that, I really thought Reki and Langa would be like that so....

imagine my surprise when Langa was the ‘beginner’ in skating. He has the potential to be a second sasuke here lol. (blue, handsome, cool) but no he isn’t. he’s an adorable idiot, an airhead, head empty only skating dude and i love it. 

Reki as well. He could have been the usual protagonist. (sucks at his sport, loud, hardworking, and by the power of friendship he suddenly beats everyone else which i think is pretty overused at this point, don’t you think?) some people complain how Reki despite being the MC isn’t given screentime and hasn’t won a single beef. (and sure that’s true. he should have won some and langa lose some but we only have 12 eps so lol) but he’s not the usual protagonist you know? and sk8 isn’t about winning. if it was, I think they would have focused on the techniques. the hows and the what to do.

Idk if you noticed, but sports anime with winning in its goal would often explain in detail certain techniques. (see haikyuu) but shows like Free and Yuri on Ice isn’t exactly talking about how to win that seriously as Haikyuu did. It’s more focusing on the feelings and how their lives are affected with their passion for this sport. it’s about the character development!!! and i think SK8 is something like that too. It explores the character’s feelings rather than sport. (like what i tell my sister, they use the sport as a character device if that makes sense?)

this was literally in the opening lol. it’s really about the feelings you know?

so anyway it’s been pointed out several times that Reki was already feeling insecure about his skills in skating since ep 1 way before Langa came. But he still likes to skate and despite feeling never enough, he still enjoyed it. (some also pointed out that Reki’s reason of going into a beef against Shadow has been because he insulted his way of skating not because he wanted to be the best) so the show from the get go was already hinting at his self esteem issues.

this also implies that Reki has always been feeling like this in a while, added with his tendencies to bottle things up, it makes sense that he’ll blow up at some point and he’ll need to release all of those feelings. (so yeah i think this is just the right amount of eps for their fall out. i see some people complaining shush. otherwise it would also feel too rushed. this is years weighing him)

and i guess it’s also implied in here he’s had days like these too in the past! seriously it’s an ongoing problem he’s been carrying. i think 3 eps is pretty good enough pace to internalize it

so point: Reki was already down way before Langa came. langa just added to that. And don’t go blaming Langa cause the boy did nothing wrong.

Consider that Langa just lost his dad (i think we need more backstory on this though. please sdsjkdksl i need little Langa and his dad interactions) he just moved countries, and the only connection to his dad (snowboarding) is gone cause it doesn’t snow in OKinawa

though one also argues that Langa hasn’t been snowboarding since his dad was gone.

so for Langa, Reki introducing skating to him was revolutionary. You’re someone grieving over the death of what is probably the most important person in your life, the thing you love the most no longer gives you joy (as was shown in the flashbacks and basically Langa going ‘it’s the same’) and you’re in a new country with a language you barely are fluent. you can’t even read or write, and you barely have friends granted you don’t have much back in the day. it’s horrible.

and then this guy you barely know talks to you, befriends you, helps you get a job, and teaches you something you thought you’ve lost and through that you made more friends??

yeah you see why Langa likes Reki. You also see why he’s obsessed with skating. It’s kind of like a coping, a fixation. plus he’s bad with social cues i guess? the interview says he’s likely to get dumped for being too inattentive lmao and that’s what makes him interesting!

also the thing that really surprised me when they first interacted was how supportive Reki is to Langa. it also got to me with how much Langa thinks highly of Reki. Again a deviation to the ‘i say i hate you but deep down i care for you’ trope. they’re full on supportive and protective. i like that. it’s fresh to me. I thought Reki was going to the tsundere ‘hmph that’s not a big deal’ route at the start of ep 2 but he’s really amazed. (kinda also says he’s been very desperate for someone to share skating with but that’s another topic)

so Reki teaches Langa how to skate. and Langa sucks. Which was interesting to me because I thought Langa would be some flawless prince-like character. But nah. He trips and faints at his own blood lol. He’s so uncool and i love it.

Some people say Langa is over powered with a thick ass plot armor which gets him to win (which is why i see people saying he should have won against Joe and I actually agree that Langa should lose some beefs but again only 12 eps, so little time)

but I still wanna talk about it anyway so it’s revealed Langa was snowboarding since 2. That’s 15 years. I think that should be around the same time Joe and Cherry should be skating. and i think if you start earlier as a kid, your body develops differently. (should Langa, “an amateur” win against Joe a pro? the question falls more on whether you can classify Langa as an amateur) i think it’s like Langa being very used to motorcycle tricks from age 2 then suddenly he’s using a regular bicycle, and sure the feeling is mostly the same but there’s just something off. Your body doesn’t easily forget what you know, especially if it did it for 15 years. and so Reki customizes a board for Langa so it’ll feel exactly like snowboarding

So Langa has a customized board that he needed to get used to before he went pro. He really sucked the first few eps lmao. but that’s more of him getting used to the new rules. he pretty much told Reki in ep 2 that he can’t do a skateboard ollie, but he can do a snowboard one bec it’s attached to his feet.

(i may just want to add that one thing i also like about sk8 is that it really doesn’t care what you need for accommodation? if that’s how you do it best, then go for it. When Langa says to Reki he can’t do the ollie without the board attached to his feet, Reki immediately goes his way to accommodate him. usually people in real life might say ‘it’s not real skateboarding if you need a modification etc. but look at Cherry with a freaking AI board and people are like yeah whatever do what you want man. whatever rolls your board.)

so anyway Langa vs. Joe with Langa winning despite being an amateur? if you can even call him an amateur that is. Plus all his tricks are snowboarding tricks lol. everything he’s done is testament to his 15 years of snowboarding?? We don’t even know how good Langa is in snowboarding. Someone make a post about how difficult the snowboarding equivalent of those tricks Langa has done just to show people it means he’s pretty pro (I’ll even argue maybe Langa’s real talent is his creative ways of going around things which kind of why Adam is highkey obsessed, and calls Cherry who calculates everything to the last second boring but that’s a different can of worms I’m opening later) plus Langa barely won against Joe so there’s not much difference in level i think. Should Langa have lost though?

I think some have missed the point of that beef in Reki’s pov. and if the Renga reconciliation is done well, it would be worth it.

that beef got Reki to realize he what he really wants! that it’ll kill him if he can’t skate anymore! that he doesn’t wanna only cheer on for others and be a support! THAT HE WANTS TO SKATE BY LANGA’S SIDE WHICH IS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS INSECURITIES if Langa lost, that cathartic realization might not have happened. He might have gone to Langa and cheered him up, brushed off his insecurities and, made up with Langa halfheartedly without addressing his problems

I’m going to go back to Reki’s insecurities. In ep 6 he’s been afraid of being left behind, and sure Langa came back for him but he still forgot until midway. (will that parallel how Langa got too excited with the idea of skating, the same feeling he thought he lost forever. The same thing that he thinks connects him with his dad, and might have left Reki behind, but later remembers and goes back to chase him? hopefully) in ep 4 it’s obvious he’s afraid of the near death experience Adam gave him, and he’s just realized how different their skills were. in ep 5 he worries about Langa, enough to get nightmares about it. mixed with his friend getting hurt. it’s obvious the feelings are very very muddled there.

So he begs Langa not to skate with Adam.

And what did Langa do? say that he wanted to skate with Adam. (again he’s not the most attentive. he probably thinks he’s just skating with his best friend, all is good then boom. Reki leaves. as a person shit with dealing with other people, i don’t blame him at all) he’s trying to fix it though, but his bond with Reki primarily revolves around skating! how else was he going to warm up with Reki? He also doesn’t know that Reki has self esteem issues that’s always been there since the beginning. He probably doesn’t understand it too because he holds Reki up highly. in ep 6 when Reki was going over his board, Langa thinks he’s pretty cool. he didn’t hear what other said to Reki. He’s earnestly having fun with his friend

We should also note that Reki was never angry at Langa’s skills, he wasn’t resentful that Langa was far ahead. Again he’s been nothing but supportive. He doesn’t want to pull Langa down. He wasn’t like Miya’s friends that lashed out at Miya for being better. in ep 7 he tries his best to follow Langa

it feels like he’s mostly regretful that he can’t catch up. he doesn’t want Langa to slow down, he wants to go faster and meet him where he was. So it makes the realization that all he wants to do was be in equal with Langa more frustrating because he thinks he can’t keep up. (and this only ever started when he heard he’s like Langa’s plus one. there’s that daunting feeling about being pulled around. not being his equal) 

if you need further proof, when Langa and Joe were having a beef, he wasn’t aggressively hoping Langa would lose. in fact he encouraged him. He worries deeply He calls him out when he was doing badly. Still very supportive as ever. So really the frustration isn’t to Langa, again, it’s all internal. He wants to be better

so he’s feeling shit and Langa goes to him in the middle of the rain, bless langa for trying, thinking talking about skating (what he thinks Reki loves and would probably cheer him up, not knowing that’s exactly his problem) tells him

which is probably the worst he could say.

THAT’S what got Reki mad, not really Reki being insecure though that’s part of it, that’s what they’re fighting about, Reki is angry he’s breaking his promise. He thinks Langa doesn’t care about Reki, that he’ll easily break a promise between them that Reki obviously cares about just so he can go skate with Adam who is way better than him. It blows to the self esteem. Reki probably also think that if only he was better, langa wouldn’t bother skating with someone that dangerous. it doesn’t help at all.

but langa doesn’t know this. he doesn’t see all this. Langa might have been too up the high of skating like in ep 6, he sorta left Reki behind again.

it kinda makes Langa’s mom’s words hit harder though

and he did just that. he got too engrossed.

It parallels adam, cherry and joe’s friendship then probably tadahsi’s too but who knows? reki and langa, and tadashi and adam might parallel too, the master and the student thingy Adam might have gotten too obsessed. So Joe trying his best to make sure Reki and Langa won’t end up like them hits a little harder in my chest ;’)

but Langa won’t be to engrossed i think

because unlike Adam who’s aggressively looking for his ‘equal’, Langa is just looking for someone who makes his heart beat, to make him feel like he’s skating with his dad again, someone he loves dearly. (there’s a parallel about loves here too between Adam’s and Langa’s. but I can’t write it now) and he probably already thinks Reki is his equal anyway. He just wants to have fun. he doesn’t think much about the skills.

maybe at first he does. that’s why he’s drawn to Adam but from ep 9, it was pretty much shown that skills really doesn’t matter from when he skated against Joe

if Adam easily discarded his friends because he think they’re boring (which was why the whole skateboard to the face thing with Cherry), langa doesn’t think like that

if anything Reki is important to Langa because he only has fun skating with Reki, who taught him how to skate and made his board. (his board that was customized to fit his style btw, and arguably the only reason he could skate that well. without it, he might as well be a beginner once again.) so without reki, langa is left with nothing. especially with his broken board

no fun in skating, no way of skating. He’s only manage to get this far because of Reki and he knows that now. All of it would be pointless if he doesn’t have Reki (and either he gets so obsessed in chasing that feeling again, or he stops completely) but in case you haven’t noticed it, Langa’s motivation revolves around having fun with skating no matter the skill or place. And he’s having most fun with Reki.

But Reki obviously doesn't know Langa’s feelings. He thinks Langa was forever looking for someone better. So he’s still caught up in the idea that Langa won’t want to skate with him (even though Langa has never shown this) and he left S entirely, thinking what he wants is impossible. fucking just talk you two motherfucker

(I also wanna point out that Reki has always been shown from episode one to be good at making boards. And that’s amazing? We need some support recognition and appreciation, seriously) I think maybe most who find problem with Reki not winning beefs like the usual shounen protags aren’t used to the nuance and perspective of being someone ‘ordinary’. Reki’s character is relatable because most of us feel ordinary, never enough, surrounded by geniuses, ‘inferior’. And if we’re being realistic since a lot are saying joe should have won because langa winning is unrealistic and you want realism so bad no I’m not salty at all there will always be someone better than you. ALWAYS. but what’s important is for you to have fun in what you love! in what makes you happy! AND even if you’re not good at one thing (in Reki’s part, skating) he’s also good at other things (making boards) so does he need to stop one for the other? no. He’s shown to enjoy skating with Langa, he doesn’t wanna stop it hurts him so much he quit. But he can also hone his skills in making boards as well as skate. He’s equal with Langa in a way he doesn’t even notice when he made that board for Langa, but even Reki’s presence alone makes Langa enjoy skating the way Reki also wants Langa by his side.

So I think the next ep is the best time to confront all these feelings. And how it happens might be what’s tricky. Like romantic or not, i personally can read it both ways though i prefer if they do become canon. (idk if it’s queerbaiting. i guess friends can care as deeply as that but ngl, these shounen bestfriends having deep connections that are written off as friends while also giving us bland af hetero love interests who did nothing but exist and be straight really is messing with my perception of romantic and platonic love irl) anyway their talk better be done really well, or else all those episodes of tension would be for nothing

It’s a nice perspective to give a shounen protagonist this time. It’s new, it’s fresh. How many incarnations of underdog turned the best at their craft can you take? variety is nice! and if you don’t like it, there are always a dozen other animes like that for you to turn to. to conclude, IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE START: WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS???! AND FOR THEM IT’S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BUT IN A VERY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T  SUDDENLY GET YOU TO LEVEL 100000000000 TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES DEFEATING THE FINAL BOSS WORTHWHILE

Anyway tldr; maybe the real Eve is the friends we made along the way :D  and idk if I’m making sense but obviously I’m head empty only sk8. Renga needs to talk, i can’t believe they have the audacity to make a recap episode as if i wasn’t head empty only sk8 since february, and if there’s more emotional edging to come, i will burn some of the palm trees outside my house

[purplesurveys]

1262

o1. With which one of your friends do you spend the most time? With which friend do you spend the least amount of time? Would you like to change this in any way? I don’t really get to...spend time with my friends, in that sense. For very obvious reasons. But I talk to Angela and Reena the most. Andi and I talk a lot too, but not everyday. 

Among my friends, I probably talk to my college group the least these days, but that’s mostly because 2/3 of them are pursuing law school, and the 1/3 have jobs and are as busy as I am. We’re still as tight as ever and our group chat becomes active at least once a week.

o2. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Illinois, Louisiana, New York, Utah. Countries: Malta, Switzerland, Thailand, South Korea.

o3. If you have one, how often do you watch your favorite television show? How long has this show been your favorite? I’m not a big TV person, tbh. The closest thing to my favorite would be Friends, which I rewatch at least one episode of once a month though I used to watch it FAR more often than that, hahaha. I think I first hooked to it...I wanna say 2018?Or 2019. Sometime in between those years. o4. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No. He’s allowed to have girl friends. The only reason it bothered me when it was Gabie was because we were both aware that her guy friends were genuinely into her. I never channeled my annoyance towards her though; I was definitely more pissed off at those guys for not learning how to back off when needed.

o5. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? We don’t have snow, but our equivalent would be days off school because of a typhoon. Anyway, I just spent them lounging around and mostly watching stuff on YouTube. In college I was a bit more diligent and would use the extra time to catch up on readings.

o6. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? Not that I am aware of. I probably wouldn’t befriend someone who did if we weren’t already close, because there’s no telling what kind of influence they would be on me.

o7. When was the last time that you were afraid for your life? Did this incident change you in any way? When I was really sick back in May. Not really, I just wanted to recover as quickly as possible.

o8. Do you enjoy taking pictures? Is it just for fun, or do you make an attempt at actual photography? I didn’t then, but it’s something I’m trying to do more often now. I’ve realized I have very few souvenirs from the last few years because I barely took photos then, so it sucks not being able to revisit memories and ending up forgetting others completely. I definitely don’t plan to take it so far as taking photography lessons; taking pictures from my own perspective and in my own style suffices.

o9. Have you ever had low self-esteem? How is your self-esteem now? Yeah, sure. I had a recent phase of it because of the breakup, but I’ve recovered from it. My self-esteem is a lot healthier and more stable these days.

o1o. When you see someone sickly-thin, what is your first thought? Nothing for the most part, but I would obviously be concerned if that person was starting to show worrying signs of malnutrition. Idrk what you mean by sickly-thin.

o11. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Not really, only because I’ve rarely had to go there.

o12. What did you dress up as the last time you went Trick-or-Treating? Who went with you? I went as Sofie, my old best friend from high school.

o13. What is one thing you miss most from your childhood? What do you miss the least? The part about having less responsibilities and more time to just have fun and do whatever I want. But I didn’t really have a picture-perfect childhood either, so my list of things I don’t miss for sure trumps the list of stuff I do miss.

o14. What would be the biggest challenge involved in raising a child at your age? How to send them to a good school because I don’t make nearly enough to afford tuition for another person.

o15. If you happened to get pregnant before you were ready for children, how would you cope? Do you think your parents would support you and help you out? I don’t know, honestly; and the thought kind of scares me. I know my parents wouldn’t provide support whatsoever, so I’d have to claw my way to find it from other people who would be willing. I’d probably need to take an extra job to earn enough money to support us both.

o16. Have you ever had unprotected sex? What would you tell a young teen thinking about having unprotected sex? Yeah, but I was also with a girl, so...idk. I don’t have a lot of sexual experience either so I dunno what sort of advice to tell a teen other than ‘don’t do it,’ lmao.

o17. What are some gender double-standards anger you? All of them. < Yes.

o18. Other than the usual qualities (honesty, respect, etc), what are some attributes you want your BF/GF to possess? Patience in the sense that I tend to be sensitive, so if they crack a joke that I ended up getting hurt or offended by, or if I get triggered by something minor that would otherwise be normal for anyone else, I hope they are patient enough to ride the wave out with me. I didn’t experience that with my past partner, and was often told to just stop being sensitive.

o19. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No, because doing so is detrimental to my well-being.

o2o. Five years ago, what was the most important thing in your life? How about the most important person? My relationship, barf. Gabie, another barf.

21. How would you describe your sexuality? Have you ever wondered whether or not you might be homo/bisexual? I’ve stopped caring about it. I say asexual to people just so I have an answer to say.

o22. Do you think that homosexual couples should be able to raise or adopt children? Why or why not? Yeah...because I don’t see why they can’t be granted that right?

o23. Think of your worst fear. What would you do if you were confronted with it right now? Hyperventilate.

o24. If you were to become a vegetarian, what meat-product would you miss the most? Have you ever been or wanted to be a vegetarian? Chicken wings or sandwiches. I’ve thought about it before, yes. It’s too expensive a lifestyle where I live, though.

o25. Do you think that someone’s sexuality is something that they can control? No.

o26. What do you like most about your favorite animal? They’re very friendly and always down to play. :)

o27. What is your favorite way to eat your favorite food? How often do you eat your favorite food item? Eating burgers by hand is always the best. I have one maybe once a month.

o28. What is something you are craving? Will this craving be satisfied? KFC’S DOUBLE DOWN. I’ll get one next week, when I get my next pay lol. The rest of my budget this week is already allotted for my mom’s birthday/JK’s belated birthday dinner tomorrow.

o29. What is the largest number of texts you have sent in a day? Do you often text this much? Ooooh, I dunno. Maybe around 200-300 in a day? My ex and I primarily communicated through text whenever we weren’t physically together, which was often as we were both students in different schools.

o3o. Do you like the holiday season? Why or why not? What could be better about it? Some parts of it I like, some parts of it I don’t. The latter mostly stems from insecurities I will feel from seeing other families on social media, who always seem to be having a better and fancier time than I am. It’s why I usually deactivate during Christmas so I don’t get to see posts that can affect my disposition.

[leatherbookmarking]

LARATTDMA (long ass ramblings about things that don’t matter, actually)

“why does jin ling flinch in cql if jc allegedly has never hit him?”

well what... were you expecting him to do? let’s start with that. jin ling is a cultivator in training, and it’s a profession where quickness of reflexes can decide on whether you live or not. is he supposed to stand still? i know he got himself caught in a man-eating tomb but cut him some slack

(why does no one make this kind of analysis about lwj surprise attacking wwx with a sword to his throat, repeatedly, i wonder)

BUT ALSO:

i don’t know, it’s weird. why was there a closeup on jin zixuan making a weird face when lxc was forced to drink alc in jinlintai? why is xuanwu turtle’s tongue wiggling so sensually? why is xue yang, judging by his facial expressions, clearly daydreaming about having a very fun orgy with everyone present during his way to/stay at the unclean realm? i do not know. why did jc even raise a hand in that moment? in earlier episodes, he didn’t bat an eyelash when jin ling was being more bratty than that. watsonian explanation: they both just got through an emotional wringer, repeatedly, so while it’s not the coolest thing about their very last appearance in the show, one kinda can excuse slightly “ooc” behaviours because... trauma. loads of it.

no, honestly, i’ll need to rephrase that: T R A U M A jiang cheng’s life in particular is one long trauma festa and it super doesn’t whip my cream when people act understanding towards wwx but hate jc for how they dealt with it. it’s not as simple as ‘well wwx got fucked up and he was a gentle loving soul, meanwhile jc was a cunt’. no, bro, wwx’s suffering didn’t make him kind, wwx’s suffering made him aggressive, distrustful, and self-harming. i understand that in our world it’s noble and virtuous to set yourself on fire so others can grill their sausages, but aside from that, i feel it’s important for us to know that it’s not good. i often say ‘learn to internalize it like a normal person’ but this is because i, too, am fucked up and trying to be funny about it. hurting yourself instead of hurting others isn’t a BETTER coping mechanism. they’re both bad. they both suck ass. is that clear

doylist ponderings:

in general, though, this is an example of things the show does that would probably make more sense in the novel, but not exactly in the show itself. here, jiang cheng raises a hand on jin ling, jin ling covers his face, and jiang cheng slowly drops his hand. this would make sense, but only if:

jiang cheng has been repeatedly shown hitting him before, giving us a theme, a pattern that would break in this scene, and

jiang cheng, for some reason, was prone to forgetting that jin ling is his sister’s son.

because what do we hear, very briefly? the yunmeng siblings/jyl theme. hand raise -> the theme -> hand drop. if you ask me to compile things jc is aware of 100% of the time, “jin ling, the son of his sister, is his only remaining family” would be the first thing on the list, and “shijie and wei wuxian were the most important people in his life and take a closer look at how that ended” would be the second. sure, jc is rough around the edges, but as it’s been actually established, his threats are empty. he’s rough in everything, also showing affection.

maybe it’s the difference in upbringing (of the fans), but i’ve never even considered that his threats of leg breaking had a sliver of sincerity in them. both wei wuxian and jiang yanli know that. idk, it’s just... a really familiar thing to me, not only in my family but also in my surroundings, and i’ve even heard it from more laid-back teachers, and again: everyone was aware it was a joke. i’d have to be given additional context to hear something like “just try catching a cold and i’ll strangle you” as anything other than a display of care and fond exasperation. and it doesn’t have to be visibly, audibly fond for it to work! it really doesn’t! it’s the matter of knowing people. i’ve had teachers turn their stern gazes upon me and ask what are you saying? and i knew it was a joke, the teacher’s way of saying now this doesn’t make a sliver of sense. see: the wonderful scene in lotus pier w/ pretending to throw up the soup in episode 24. so again, when jin ling says his uncle never hits him and his threats of leg damage are only talking, i have no problem believing him.

all in all, it’s a difference of approach. if you decide jc is an abusive, toxic asshole who vents his self-loathing onto poor jin ling, then no matter where you look, all you find is the proof for that. similarly, if you think jgy is a lying, manipulative rat, his tears will look fake and his explanations will be nothing but cheap excuses to you. and like, i’m not objective either because i, for one, relate to jc a lot and it’s easier for me to understand him and his behaviours (in case it wasn’t clear lol) but like. we remember what the moral of the story was, right? that nothing is purely black or purely white? rings a bell? yyyyep