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darktimesdarkvibes · 3 years ago

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Yandere!Taecyeon (2PM) Headcanons

July 11, 2021 | 1,561 words

Series masterlist

Assumes reader is an adult, but includes for if you have an age gap

Taec's is the darkest post in this series (but there's still far darker yandere posts out there, so just take the tws into account)

Gender-neutral reader I think

tw: age gap, toxic behavior, mention of non-con kiss, short depiction of non-con cuddling, intimidation, restraint, manhandling, gaslighting mention, manipulation, kidnapping, murder, yandere (which is basically thinking you are "in love" with someone but actually you should see a psychiatrist and that's really not a joke. This character trope can become very sick and violent and abusive at their worst, though I tend to go for the softer variety. They are often possessive, over-protective, delusional, etc.)

I don’t believe Taecyeon is actually like this nor do I condone the unhealthy behaviour in this post

Taecyeon is a pretty traditional yandere

Doesn't care a whole lot about an age gap. He likes who he likes at the end of the day

It will give him pause if you are around ten years apart but he gets over it quickly

Protective but also very possessive in certain situations

Gaslighter and manipulator as well

Feels like he's the only one who really "gets" you and vice-versa, and tells you so repeatedly

He’d like you see his strength as something he’ll use to protect you, and he doesn’t want to hurt you

But in a pinch he’ll use it to intimidate you if necessary

Overall he just wants you to remain aware that he’s just a much larger and stronger individual than average, especially as odds are you are not built like him

(Although on the off-chance you are, my reader, that’ll just make him try even harder with you to achieve a similar effect)

He likes that you remember his strength and size, because he hopes it will make you realize that you are safer with him than without him

It gives him a bit of a thrill that you know he's bigger than you

And even if he denies to himself that part of the reason he wants you to recognize it is it might intimidate you, and therefore make you “stay in line”, that is a potential benefit and he knows it

However whenever you acknowledge it he loves it

Especially if you mention how he could probably beat another guy in a fight or protect you, he gets feels warm in his chest and gets excited all at once

He knows he's hot and uses it from day one

Going off of that point and the points about safety and intimidation and all that from above, he’s going to make sure you see him shirtless. Like, live and in-person

He’s going to try to make it happen when you are alone together as well

This is both to amplify the effects mentioned above, and to push more intimacy into your relationship, even if you are not officially romantically involved yet

He won't limit it to one time either

He wants you to see him

Overall tries really hard to make you laugh though too

Acts very sweet/cute until he's not (more on that later)

A very touchy boyfriend, he always wants to be holding hands or standing/sitting as close to you as possible

Actually he automatically puts an arm around you, unless you demote him to hand-holding for some reason

Even if it seems like a situation where that would be inappropriate

He especially does this in public, so even though he’s confident he’s not immune to territoriality

Even if you do have an age gap, he doesn't have that "parental" vibe that Minjun and Nickhun sometimes have

It feels more like you two are on a similar level bc he's so goofy

But if he just so happens to have helpful experience then he will offer some guidance, so if you have an age gap it may happen occasionally

It just has a less parental vibe and more of the typical “senior-in-life” or “friend’s older brother” kind of vibe

Flirts quite physically even before dating, and comes off as kind of cocky

Quite forward and persistent, and likes to fluster you a bit if possible

Which is another reason why he'll make sure you see him shirtless

But he also wants you to happily reciprocate his attention

He also just touchy with you in general though, even before you are dating and when he’s not really flirting

Doesn’t stalk you so much, but when you are in the same room (which he makes sure happens as often as possible) he is always watching you, to the extent that you might well pick up on it

He will stalk you though if he has gone a long time without seeing you (it's got to be a couple times a week at the very very least)

He also will if he is having a rough day and you're firm that you can't hang out with him (otherwise he's been known to tag along while you are just running errands because he is so attached to you)

If he hasn't seen you for a while he gets sulky

Gets visibly angry and more impulsive if someone messes with you

If they intend to harm you or if they actually do harm you then they’re totally fucked

He’s going to kill them, but first he’ll scare them and make them suffer

But because he’s pissed he ends up killing them pretty quickly

He just can't stand the sight of them and he wants them gone

He won't go that far with just anyone, because he's pretty confident that he should be your first choice in a mate, but when he's pushed he'll do it

Like if someone just flirts with you a little then he’ll just step in and get rid of them, then he’ll forget about them

But if they make you actually uncomfortable or worse, then they’re dead

Overall his thinking regarding you can get kind of primal

Hence why I used the word "mate" before

It’s his own word choice

That’s really another core reason he wants you to see his strength

He wants to show off that he should be your first pick

He’s also more likely to kidnap you

Will use force to restrain you if necessary and possible, and again it’s not a bad deal for him if he can be physically very close to you while simultaneously reminding you that he’s stronger than you

It's not even so much overpowering you itself that he likes, because he wants you to be happy

He's just got a weird fixation

He's also a weird kidnapper though because he’ll be trying to keep the atmosphere really light and fun as if you aren’t being held captive

He’ll make jokes and suggest games to play

He also doesn’t feel super guilty about it because he probably feels justified

Perhaps you found out he killed one or more people for you, so he didn't see another option

Or you were going to leave him

Even if he's not very guilty, he’ll still be upset that you’re upset though, and will be wanting Stockholm Syndrome or something to kick in, both for his benefit and so you're happier

He’s a bit impatient and frustrated by the wait, but he doesn’t really take it out on you

Might force a kiss or two over the course of your early relationship, but no more than that

Especially if you clearly don't want it, he'll back off on that and may switch to forehead kisses

He may also force some cuddles. For example, some spooning as you’re tied to a bed

He’s totally calm and blissfully asleep with his arm around you, and all you can hear is his even breathing and perhaps some light snoring

Meanwhile you are in a fight-flight-freeze response, until you are finally so exhausted that you fall asleep

But then you wake up and he really hasn't done anything to you

He really did just want to cuddle

So it is pretty confusing for you, which will probably work in his favor

If you are off your guard and confused, then it’s easier for him to manipulate you

He may also put on a movie and cuddle with you while you are restrained, and act like nothing is amiss. He'll be all laughter and smiles and will act very innocent and soft with you in his arms

Which is again confusing

If you give him attitude or struggle, then he'll either try to soothe you or he'll be firm with you to restrain you

"Hey! Hey... It's okay, I won't hurt you..."

Or,

"Stop that. You know it won't get you anywhere."

He forces cuddles because first of all, he wants to. But also because he thinks it might help you get used to him and your new situation

Because there’s no way he’s just letting you out of it

When you express that you want to leave, he may well belittle you a bit by treating what you want as a joke

Because really in his point of view it's laughable that you would leave

"Come on, you know you're not allowed!" he says with a smile

But if you keep it up he'll get firmer

"You know that's not gonna happen."

So he’s a little bit delusional and unstable

First time together:

For your first time together he's gentle but he's firm

So somehow you simultaneously feel safe, but it goes without saying that he's the one in control

He's leading you where you need to go, and he may well even place your hands for you on his body

Or pin them down

He will never do anything you don't want, but he likes to take the lead and show some physical power and have his weight over you

Pretty much anything wild you wanna do in the future he's probably up for

Very open to suggestions

But he wants to remain in-control

That’s non-negotiable

Good dirty talk

“Yeah just like that baby”

“I make you feel good, right?”

Overall the man is fucked up but in a hot way

#kpop yandere #yandere kpop #yandere 2pm #yandere taecyeon #yandere #tw: murder #tw: age gap #tw: age difference #tw: intimidation #tw: noncon #tw: gaslighting #tw: manipulation #tw: manhandling #tw: toxic behavior #tw: kidnapping #what have i done?#what have i done to myself?#i think his role as hanseok really influenced me here #it's just that him acting so bad but then so cute and then scary and hot was such a wild and enthralling experience

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akookminsupporter · 4 years ago

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Hello! I am relatively new to BTS (joined just this year actually!) and I have seen a lot of content, old and new. I really appreciate Jikook/Kookmin blogs like yours that give me a boost to get throughout the day and toxicity, in general. Moving on, I do have one question that I would love to hear your and others opinions on. Why do people try to misconstrue what happened in ITS between Taehyung and JK? I cannot wrap my head around the fact that certain ARMY do not believe the words these boys (well, men really) said. And I have seen people use the excuse "that their skinship before and after didn't change so it must have been scripted, right?" It just blows my mind sometimes the stuff that certain individuals come up with and completely ignore what happened.

P.S - I really do appreciate your blog and I hope you have a great rest of your week! Thank you!

And by people you mean taekookers. That conversation basically ended up with several narratives that were in the fandom or that taekookers loved to say to keep their ship alive.

1. The main narrative that that conversation ended is that up to that point taekook wasn't real. It probably never was. And that's something they can't accept for obvious reasons.

The first few years after BTS's debut, Tae and Jungkook seemed pretty close, something they acknowledged in that conversation, and out of that closeness and those years taekook was born. But as time went on things changed, they changed and their closeness was not the same. They usually gravitated towards other members and not towards each other. That's when another narrative was born, BHM is hiding taekook.

2. To compensate for the lack of interactions between Jungkook and Tae, taekookers began to say that the company was hiding the relationship by forcing Jungkook and tae to spend more time with other members and not interacting on camera as much as they did in the early years. By having that conversation in one of their shows, by allowing the cameras to record that moment they also ended that narrative, if BHM was hiding their interactions why didn't they hide that conversation which showed that their relationship was not the same for a while now?

Personally I don't think that conversation is the first time they or Tae told us that their relationship wasn't the same, years ago, I don't remember exactly which one, Tae said that usually Jungkook ignored him behind camera, if Taekook was real why would Jungkook ignore Tae behind camera too?

3. Taekookers complain about many things, one of them is that BHM doesn't want to show us the moments between Jungkook and Tae. It seems redundant to say, but, if their relationship wasn't the same, if they didn't interact much behind the camera it means that BHM didn't hide the moments between them, it just that there were no moments between them to show in the different contents or that what we saw was the only thing they had to show.

The skinship issue is complicated, taekook does skinship a lot, but that doesn't make the ship any more real, between Jimin and Jungkook there isn't much skinship usually, but that doesn't make the ship any less likely to be real.

Jungkook and Tae never stopped interacting, they never stopped being friends, they never stopped touching each other, that's not what they said in that conversation, their relationship just stopped being... close. Jungkook and Tae stopped being close, and that's normal but obviously their shippers can't accept that.

Skinship makes up a large part of the group dynamics, especially the maknae line. Basing the veracity of a ship solely on skinship is in my opinion, wrong. In that case hopekook would be real.

When that conversation happened, taekookers had to justify it somehow because the alternative was not possible. So they decided to call Jungkook and Tae liars. They decided to say that the conversation was planned by BHM so that the fans would believe that Taekook is not real because obviously we can't know that it is. They decided once again to disrespect Jungkook and Tae instead of believing their words.

Anon welcome to the fandom! I promise you that most of the time it's fun!

I'm glad you like the blog and I hope you have a great week too anon!

#anon #ask #JKTH #tkkrs

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bhadpodcast · 4 years ago

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Why Scott McCall Is Teen Wolf’s Worst Character

There is this notion in the Scott/Posey fandom that they can do and say whatever they want. When Derek and Stiles fans called them out for harassing a Teen Wolf fan who had the audacity to dislike Scott McCall, the Scott McCall defense squad defended their own disgusting behavior by whining that “they disrespected Scott McCall in the general tags.” The problem with that is that these are the same bullies who would go into full-on attack mode if you dared post anything even remotely critical of Scott McCall in the anti Scott McCall tag.

I’ve seen these people post their anti Derek, Stiles, Sterek - pro Scott crap in the “Derek Hale”, “Stiles Stilinski” and “Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski” tags on purpose.

Scott/Posey stans act as if the truth is determined by how loud and toxic they are. Since Stiles and Derek are the fan favorites, the stars of the show, and they overshadowed Scott from the day one without even even trying, then they can do as they please, even harassing Teen Wolf fans and dropping into the Stiles Stilinski or Derek Hale tag to say how much they hate the character.

I personally feel that the reason behind his is that antis identify with Scott so much that if you dare criticize Scott’s canonical abusive actions and behavior, they feel you’re insulting them. They have bought into the wish fulfillment that Scott McCall represents.

Scott McCall represents the idea that you can treat everyone around you like crap, you can insult people, invade their privacy, emotionally or physically lash out at them when you’re upset, but as long as you’re in a position of power and arguably charismatic, people will still love you and treat you like you’re a hero and the bestest friend ever. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt the people around you, because the entire power fantasy is that people will accept your behavior, and instead of asking you to apologize, they’ll instead apologize to you, even for the most minor meaningless slight, because only your feelings and your emotions matter.

It’s what has made characters like Scott McCall so popular among the antis, no matter what show they are on. And why this particular trope, the Average Whiny Asshole With A Plot Armor, is only popular when played by an attractive guy.

Of course, in antis’ fan fictions, Scott McCall will have most of their canon traits (such as violence, jealousy, possessiveness, bigotry, entitlement, and cruelty) removed, because as much as Scott Stans love Scott McCall for being a toxic asshole and getting away with it, they understand they can never admit that. So they turn Scott into a self insert Mary Sue and give him all the positive traits stolen from the Teen Wolf characters who they claim to despise.

This conceals the fact that they liked Scott McCall exactly because of his lack of positive character growth, including his utter refusal to acknowledge that his abusive actions and behavior have consequences even if he manages to hide them or blame others for them.

Scott spent six seasons using his friends and victims as a cover for his actions, and no one ever held him accountable for what he did. The production ended up with a character who is stuck in the same static condition he was in the pilot: a character who never gets to learn or improve any part of himself. By the end of the show, Scott McCall is still the same whiny, cruel, bigoted, entitled asshole that he was when he first showed up on the show. The very same boy who thinks that the hunters had a valid reason to slaughter the Hales, lashes out at his best friend, and then lives out his Werewolf Jesus fantasies and delusions of grandeur through his friends’ suffering.

Instead of growing, Scott got reasons he should be allowed to be an asshole. He lies because “he has to”. He’s violent because “You may be an alpha, but you are not mine!” He’s abusive because his victims provoke him. He’s cruel because he is a werewolf. He’s jealous and possessive because he’s in love.

With characters like Scott McCall, the point isn’t for him to improve and overcome his problems. It’s for other characters to make allowances for his problems. In its fan service, the show let him stay the same entitled little boy he always was. Even in the final episode, he gleefully ruins his friends’ chance to have a life outside of him and of Beacon Hills just because he needs their help to save his own cowardly ass once again. Scott literally ends the show being his usual toxic self and recruiting traumatized children to fight his own battles. Hell, the rare times Scott did show character growth, like finally admitting he’s utterly useless when left to his own devices, his stans reacted with anger, because how dare they have Scott admit he can’t even plan his way out of paper bag without his smarter than everyone friends’ constant help and support?!

This leads to Season 5, where Scott once again lashed out at Stiles, blamed Stiles for his own mistakes, dehumanized Stiles for defending himself against his abuser, gaslit Stiles, tried to isolate Stiles from his support system, accused Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and a serial killer, and then acted as if he was the victim. And then of course Scott lies and plays up an injury that had long healed for six episodes straight just to convince his friends not to abandon him again because “I healed when we were together again. Where we were pack.” That is exactly what Scott/Posey fans wanted though: a character who can get away with this crap yet still be seen as a woobie and hero at the same time.

Then people wonder why Teen Wolf fans, critics, and viewers (and the actors themselves) come to despise Scott McCall and see him as everything wrong in fandom. It’s because Scott brought down the show by undermining its themes and other characters whenever the show, due to Posey’s jealous fits and temper tantrums, let him get away with the things like attacking Corey and plotting Josh and Tracy’s murder begins everyone’s back. When the show let him constantly insult Stiles and Derek, without giving Stiles and Derek a chance to push back at him. When the show let Scott abuse Isaac, and acted as if it was okay for Scott to do so because it was done in a humorous way. When the show let Scott sell Derek and his Pack out to Gerard and then justify it. When the show let Scott sacrifice Erica and Boyd to look good in Allison’s eyes and never called him out on it. When the show let Scott be abusive, and mean, and a bully, and acted as if those scenes were ok because Scott was a “true alpha”.

When you dare to criticize Scott’s abusive behavior, his delusional squad will excuse it by yelling “but Scott is a Mexican boy!” (he is not), or “Scott is depressed!” (he is not), or “Scott is poor!” (he is not), or “Scott is the most important character of Teen Wolf!” (he is not), as if that somehow makes Scott’s behavior okay, never realizing how racist and insulting that is to real Mexican people who aren’t complete assholes to everyone around them the way that Scott is.

_______________________________

This is a great piece of meta. Very well thought out and presented. Tell a friend.

#submission #Teen Wolf Fandom Problems #The Real (Scott) McCall

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internalsealpanic · 4 years ago

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All That Glitters

Summary: Pandora’s box is a black box covered in silk and embossed with the initials R.S.

a/n: So uh this work is a follow up to my fic Better Die than Doubt but it can be read as a stand alone. This thing resulted from the combined might of @knightfall05x, @lucy-roo, and my thirst. I said the follow up to that fic would be fluffy. The chronological follow up will come out at some point. I just have a single braincell and it decided it wanted to write more Black Mask being an absolute bastard. Thanks to those two hoes for enabling and proof reading. See you both in hell

warnings: This is smut. I was being haunted. This work contains noncon, past noncon, violence, Roman being an asshole, daddy kink, size kink, strength kink (if you squint ), yandere themes, stalking, exhibitionism, a dude who cannot take no for an answer and choking.

masterlist

“Hey Jay,” You chirp into the phone, maneuvering it over your shoulder carefully so you wouldn't drop it while you held your soda can at an arm's length away from you hoping it wouldn’t explode on you when you attempt to open it.

“Hey, sweet-” You blow out a raspberry halting the correction in its tracks. You can practically picture Jason’s mouth swerve into an odd shape caught between proceeding with his correction or backtracking. He chose neither. You hear him swear viciously. You snort making him huff.

“What’s up, asshat?” He asks, endearingly. You can pretty much hear him rolling his eyes from this side of the world. You frown hearing how winded he sounded.

“Jay, if this is a bad time, I can-”

“You’re fine it’s just a little-”

“JAYBIRD, A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE”

“Roy sounds like he needs help. I can call back later.”

“Roy can handle himself.”

“Thanks for the confidence, Jaybird, but I think I’d prefer if you kept shooting straight.”

You snort feeling warmth build up in your chest despite the chilly weather. You chirp delighted when you open the can and it doesn’t explode. You hear Jason chuckle. The smart remark he had on the edge of his tongue dies on his lips when your breath hitches audibly at the sound of his gun firing. Jason makes a noise, the kind you use to prompt someone to tell you if they’re ok without having to ask. You swallow and nod and curse remembering he can’t see you. You blow out a breath, making sure it comes out steady.

“Y/n...”

“I’m-” You wanted to say fine but you knew the word fine was wholly inappropriate and untrue for this situation. “I’m gonna survive. I promise.”

Jason doesn’t make a sound of agreement or disagreement. He simply acknowledges it. You silently thank him for the neutrality.

“JAYBIRD”

“SHUT UP, HARPER”

You hear Kory sigh in exasperation somewhere in the distance. In the background, you hear a shriek which you assume is from Jason. Then the line cuts out.

You try to redial.

Nothing.

You try again.

Nothing.

A laugh rips out of your chest. You cry out in pain, the fizzy drink rushing up your nose. You wince and curse and settle on blaming Jason. You suspect they somehow broke the phone. You wouldn’t be too surprised by that outcome. You sigh but there was no point in complaining about it. You might as well finish your lunch in peace.

You chew on your cheek as you walk back to your cubicle, everyone’s eyes are on you. You feel your breathing pick up a fraction of a second faster.

One

Two

Fuck

You dig your nails into your palm. Your footfalls become heavier and a little louder even against the white noise around you. You slowdown and shake your head. You haven’t had an attack at work so far and you aren’t about to start now. You inhale deeply, letting your chest expand as you run through the things Dinah taught you.

Take stock of the situation around you.

The world around you was buzzing with life-shuffling papers, ringing phones, humming of machines, and blips of voices here and there. The room is bright and clean under the light of sterile fluorescent lights. You take in all the voices around you. You’re not alone. The knot building in your shoulders loosens. You continue.

Take stock of your body.

Your body is trembling, the beginnings of a panic attack looming over you. Instead of cursing it, you let it. It was only natural to relapse once in a while. The trauma wasn’t fresh. Not in your opinion, at least. Dinah and, apparently, everyone else had a different opinion. You’re good at being ok but you were human. You let out a long breath, half-tempted to let your eyes slide shut but you’re afraid of finding yourself in that room again, of seeing him, of feeling him on you. Revulsion spasmed in your body in powerful waves. Sure, you’re a showboat, Jay had said as much, but showing off and causing a scene were two entirely different things and you weren’t entirely sure you could endure the looks of pity from your coworkers every time you came through those doors.

Stiffly, you walk towards your cubicle. Your neighbor, Chelsea, smiling conspiratorially at you while your manager glares daggers at you. You raise an eyebrow at Chelsea who waggles her eyebrows in return.

“This is how you tell me I got fired?” You sigh, a smile twitching at the corners of your mouth.

Chelsea rolls her eyes at you. “Nope, but the boss man did want me to tell you to tell your boyfriend that he really shouldn’t be sending you gifts at work but honestly, I …...” Your brows knit in confusion, cold dread licking at the pit of your stomach.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You say slowly trying to keep the mounting panic out of your voice. You could hear your blood pulsating in your ears, heart threatening to jump out of your chest. Your feet are itching for you to run outside and call Jason or Dinah or anyone but the stupider part of you- the curious part of you was clawing at your mind to proceed.

“Y/n, are- are you ok?” You blink and look at the clock. Two minutes. You blacked out for two minutes which, if you were being totally honest, was a huge improvement.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you say so” She shrugs, her eyes still not pulling away from you.

Mechanically, you turn to your desk. Your entire being freezes when your eyes land on the black box sitting on the desk and the large bouquet of red roses sitting next to it. The box was rectangular, black with silver trimmings embossed on it. Large ‘R.S.’ written in fancy lettering at the bottom right corner of the lid. You wanted to vomit.

You draw a breath and flex your fingers. You can feel your teeth digging into your cheeks.

“Hey, Chel?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I borrow some tissues?” You ask your voice barely above a whisper but still miraculously steady. She frowns at your handing you a couple of tissues. Normally, you keep your vigilante habits out of your civilian life but considering the initials embossed on this obnoxiously expensive-looking box sitting on your desk, you think this level of paranoia is justified.

You stop to calculate the odds that the box contained explosives which turns up zero. You sigh but a shiver climbs up your spine when you run through the possibilities of what Roman could have thought of as a gift.

“Y/n, what the fuck?” If Chelsea wasn’t watching you before, she was now. You glance at her quickly and give her a weak smile. You swallow the lump forming in your throat. Cautiously, you lift the lid quietly regretting not calculating the possibility of anything toxic being in it. You’re honestly surprised nothing happened. You roll your eyes upon seeing the expensive-looking black silk covering the inside.

Yes, rub your money in my face while you scare me shitless why don’t you, you fucking asshole, you think grumpily peeling the fabric away.

Your heart comes to a full stop when you’re met with a pair of lacy lingerie. Your lacy lingerie. Your USED lacy lingerie. You blink trying not to focus on the white stains. You sincerely did not want to think about that. Moving them aside you find a bloody shirt, the sound of its shifting fabric making gooseflesh spread all over your body.

You recognize it. You didn’t want to, but here it was. The bloodstains were dry but they were still visible even against the dark fabric of the shirt. Your skin prickles where the scars on your body sit. The knife wounds sting and throb as if freshly cut. It takes everything in you not to vomit.

It was probably the single-minded curiosity that kept you going. You maneuver the shirt carefully making sure it makes as little sound as possible. Underneath it is a collar, simple but clearly expensive leather with the tag R.S. glittering under the sterile lights. Your throat constricts. You tear your gaze away. Your eyes sting. Next to it was a stack of photos. The top photo showed you with your, shirt torn exposing your breasts. Someone was inside you, gripping your hips. You gag. You reign your mind in. You flip the stack over and gather your breath. Your heart stops again when you see Roman’s familiar handwriting on the back of a photo.

“Miss me?”

The drive back to your apartment was a blur consisting of what was most likely several severe traffic violations but you needed- you need to get out of town as quickly as possible. The odds of Roman himself showing up to your little town was low, very low. Not that you’ve actually calculated it. You don’t need to. The man walks around like his feet bless every surface they touch. The man has a loaded god complex the size of Russia to put it generously. Fetching you was simply beneath him. He had henchmen for a reason after all.

You wave to your landlady and her husband amiably as you walk past them keeping the nervous thrum out of your movement. Your landlady returns the gesture, elbowing her sneering husband. You know what he thinks of you and your habits. Take a few guys home with you and suddenly you’re a slut. Your promiscuity was none of his fucking business. Your body was yours to do with, to give, and to take back. It was yours. It’s yours, you assure yourself but the feeling of your body and mind hanging loosely off of each other feels painfully vivid at the moment.

You shake your head. This wasn’t the best time to sort out your hang-ups.

You press your ear to your apartment door then remembered just how thick it was and remembered that you didn’t exactly have super hearing. You sigh. What you would give to be Supes right about now. You enter the apartment careful not to make your steps audible. That, however, was rendered moot by the two very large and blocky men standing in your living room. You exhale both in frustration and relief. If Roman Fucking Sionis thinks he can scare you with two meatheads, he was clearly insulting you. Well, at least, he didn’t hire anyone actually competent considering all your gear was in a duffle bag tucked neatly away under your bed. Yanno, just for this sort of eventuality. Now that you think about it. You really should have just kept it in your car but small-town crime seems to have softened you.

You smile letting the irritation mold you into something sharp and venomous. You throw the box at one of the henchmen goading them to attack you. Its contents scattering all over the floor. You can’t bring yourself to care that some of the photos land right side up.

“Tell your chicken shit of a boss to come scare me himself,” You laugh, manic relief flooding through you. You feel like you’re going mad but you don’t care. It’s so much more feasible to deal with these men than it is to have to even think about Roman. “He doesn’t even have the balls to-”

“Well, it’s nice to see you too, Sweetheart.” comes a gravelly voice from the bedroom. Your stomach drops. Roman strides out of your bedroom adjusting the cuff link of his obnoxiously expensive suit. He looks down to the photos and gifts scattered on the ground, frowning he bends down to pick up the collar, dusting it off and stuffing it in his pocket.

Your fight or flight response freezes. You back into the door, the material feeling too solid for the moment. You inhale sharply, only managing short shallow breaths as Roman slowly closes the distance between you. His footfalls loud, heavy, and deliberately casual making your blood thrum.

No. No. No.

Your eyes flicker wildly around the room looking for any weapon within reach, your mind running through the numbers, the probabilities melding together into incoherent blotches of red in the back of your skull. Roman slams his large hands on either side of your head. The impact makes the door creak. You can’t stop yourself from flinching visibly, surprise and fear carving themselves on to your face. Roman barks out a derisive laugh as he trails a leather-clad finger down your chin, your throat, then to your cleavage. The contact against your bare skin makes you bristle.

“This here?” He emphasizes, his fingers playing with the top button of your shirt popping it carelessly revealing your baby pink, lace bra hidden beneath. “This is a little low cut for the office, isn’t it, princess?”

Annoyance overwhelms your sense of self-preservation. “I’m not about to take fashion advice from a guy who looks like he watches Scar Face daily.” You snipe, teeth bared. Roman hums the undercurrent of rage filling the air. Your ribs ache, remembering an old injury. Your mouth slams shut cutting off any other snide remarks.

“You wear these clothes to wind me up, don’t you?” Roman drawls, his leather-clad fingers tracing up the expanse of your thigh exposed by the slit of your skirt, bunching up the skirt and playing with the waistband of your thong as he does so. His thumbs pressing circles against your inner thigh, you can’t help but quiver under his touch. “Oh the fun hasn’t even started yet...just wait”, he bites your ear lobe and tugs it between his teeth. He pulls back and glares at you. “Do you want to know how I found you in this dead-end town, princess?” He asks tilting your chin with his gloved hand. You shake your head not really interested at the moment. You’re too distracted by how flush your body was getting as he presses you further into the door with his bulk. You note with disgust the arousal suffusing through your limbs.

“You were all over the news, sweetheart,” You’re trying to remember what he could possibly be talking about. He leans in closer, leather-clad hand brushing against his thumb against your bottom lip, your lips parting automatically for him. He places his gloved thumb between your parted lips. “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize that goofy smile of yours?” You shiver lips wrapping around the intruding digit. Your tongue flicks and swirls around it in a practiced gesture. “Good girl.” Roman hums, a grin spreading across his face while thick shame blankets you. You frown at how familiar the taste of the glove is against your tongue. You push your thoughts away wishing your mind would fall away.

“Baby,” He draws his hand away from your lips, wiping the thin string of saliva on your face. His hands glide down the sides of your body. “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize these hips?” His hands grab at your hips roughly, lifting you and pulling them flush against his own. “Baby. I know what’s mine and this time I won’t let you get away from me.” He whispers against your neck, voice husky and rough. You swallow feeling his lips brush against your pulse.

Roughly, he wedges a thigh between your legs, the friction against your core making you keen. The friction woke something in you and loosened a few other things. Your hips roll desperately against the thick muscle of his thighs. Roman grins against your neck, loosening his grip on your hips and letting you fuck yourself on his thigh. You will yourself to stop but the heat twisting in your gut is too much. You hate yourself. You well and truly hate yourself. Your cheeks warm, breath coming out in pants.

Roman places a kiss on your collarbone, teeth grazing your sensitive flesh. Your tongue is caught between your teeth to hold back a moan but the shiver spreading throughout your body says it too loudly. Roman chuckles, vibrations deep within his chest making you weak. Roman licks a stripe up your neck, planting kisses and hickeys along your jaw. “God, you taste sweet, princess.” He murmurs hot against your neck, the smirk dripping from his voice. It feels like acid against your skin.

He guides your pliant arms to loop around his shoulders. You obey soundlessly, tipping your head back giving him room to ravish your neck. He does with unbridled enthusiasm. You feel trapped in your own body. You don’t want this. You want to push him away but the fear coursing through you leaves you a passenger in your own body. Your breath hitches with each bite and kiss.

“Mine.” He rumbles resolutely, sliding the cloth of your top placing a bite on your shoulder. It stings without even looking, you know it’s deep.

“No” You whisper, low and unsure.

“No?” He challenges pulling away from your shoulder.

“No” You echo voice frustratingly unsteady. He sneers down at you, smile condescending. A biting rebellious part of you demands that you snarl and spit something brisque and witty at him but it’s pushed down by something viscous filling your chest. How are you drowning and why are you not dead yet?

Just let it pass, your mind whispers to itself. Just let him get his fill and he’ll be on his way. You don’t even have to get hurt. You sincerely want to believe this. You just want this to not happen. The thought of it summons a wave of nausea deep within you. Tears well up in the corner of your eyes. You blink rapidly chasing them away. He likes it when you cry.

“Baby, you can’t tell me you don’t want this,” He emphasizes, pressing his thigh against your sopping pussy. The pressure makes you whine. “Not when you’re being all cute and fucking yourself on my thigh like the dirty slut you are.”

No. No. No.

Rat-tat.

You will your hips to stop their movement but they’re too lost in their momentum. Your eyes flicker to Roman’s men, large eyes pleading. They stand stiffly doing their best to ignore you. They’re doing a damn fine job of it.

“Oh they won’t do anything, they’re here to watch,” Roman whispers hotly against your ear. Your eyes flicker to them again. Your breath catching when your eyes meet one of theirs, seeing not an ounce of pity. You shove the bile rising in your throat and the quirk on their lips deep somewhere else, somewhere away from you.

You try to squirm away but Roman’s arm presses into your windpipe pinning you in place. You thrash and kick and hiss but your head feels light. You hear fabric shift and you still. The sound of the zipper is too loud and too real.

Roman takes your lips in a forceful kiss making you gasp. His tongue forces its way into your mouth. He releases your neck. You feel his fingers trail up the slits of your skirt. You try to focus on them rather than what’s pressing stiffly against your inner thigh. The fabric of your skirt bunch up by your hips. You feel your panties getting pushed aside by large fingers. You whimper again, clawing at the expensive fabric of Roman’s suit. “Please don’t do this.” You plead breathily against his ear.

He laughs, voice gravelly and harsh. Without further warning or preparation or ceremony, Roman shoves himself inside your warmth, pushing you further into the door. You gasp, the burning stretch making your body tremble all over. He bottomed out with a loud groan. You wanted to cover your ears or have your mind fall out of your reach but here it was painfully present along with your frozen body. He’s loud, groaning and panting as he fucks into you. He thrusts into you with wild abandon, hips clashing against each other with bruising intensity. You can feel his cock dragging in and out of you, hitting every spot violently. He wants this to hurt. You hope it would too.

Your cheeks burn with how your walls spasm around his cock. You want to push him away, to take him out of you but it feels so good. You try to smother the lewd sounds you make into his shirt. Roman’s hands squeeze tightly around your waist in warning. “Yeah, that's it, baby. Let daddy know how much you want this.” You don’t protest. Instead, you let your mouth hang open and let the lewd mewls and keens tumble out. He drills into you more violently seemingly spurred on by your sounds.

You come with a whimper. You want to bury yourself in a hole. He comes not long after still fucking into you as he does, making sure your pussy takes all of his cum.

He pulls out of you, the slick sound of it absolutely sinful. Your body is slack against the door, too drained to hold itself up. Roman pulls back, grinning down at you and whistling appreciatively as he admires his work. “Let’s dress you back up, sweetheart.” Roman coos locking something around your neck. You don’t need to look down to know what he’s put there. The cool metal of the R.S. hanging off the collar presses stark against your hot sensitive skin.

“You look sooo much better like this,” Blearily you look past him. Your duffle bag is already in the arms of one of his men. He grabs your face roughly making you look him in the eyes. “All mine- just as you should be.”

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Thanks for reading! I swear I will do more fluff in the near future. I just needed this out of my system.

Tag list: @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes, @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-horizon11, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell

#yandere blackmask #yandere dc #yandere roman sionis #reader insert #dc reader insert #warning: smut #dc smut #black mask x reader #roman sionis x reader #yandere roman sionis x reader #my writing

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solo-23 · 3 years ago

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I'd debated about whether or not to post this because it's definitely a rant and there is definitely a lot of negativity, but I need to vent after last night's episode (with some leftover issues from earlier this season, too). If Betty is your favorite and you don't like to read anything negative about her, you will not like this post.

1. The way the voicemail has been blown completely out of proportion by the writers, reviewers, and some shippers is ridiculous. We keep hearing about how it was terrible, emotionally abusive, toxic, and something that Jughead definitely needed to apologize for, but nothing he said was actually out of line. There is absolutely nothing in that voicemail that Betty should have been surprised about, let alone treating it like it somehow turns her into the victim in the fall of Bughead.

It's not surprising that Jughead has now apologized twice for the voicemail, even if he doesn't actually remember all of it, because he knows that it hurt Betty. He can also probably guess what he said because he knows what he feels and how it can be exaggerated when he's feeling depressed or under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Generally if you actually admit what you're thinking or feeling when you know it would hurt someone, you feel bad about it. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, or if you're under the influence. A good person apologizes if they know they hurt someone. Jughead is a good person.

Just a note here, I've seen other people saying that Betty's actions while high should be excused just like people have said Jughead's voicemail should be excused because he was under the influence. Being under the influence DOES NOT excuse the voicemail.

The fact that Betty cheated on Jughead, did continue to sneak around with Archie while debating whether or not she wanted to "officially" pursue him, hid the whole affair until Jughead actually caught on and she had to make up a direct lie to his face or confess, never actually explained anything to Jughead (things like she was the one who stopped the affair, she wanted to stay with Jughead, etc.) even after he asked if they could talk about it, stood him up at Pop's a year later, and then stood him up again at the book release party justify Jughead's voicemail. And he has apologized for it twice.

2. That is why it was so intensely frustrating for Betty to just brush off his apology (again) and then turn the conversation to her, but without actually apologizing for anything. When Jughead mentioned not really being able to remember the voicemail, she could have brought up what bothered her in it so (a) he would know and (b) they could actually discuss the issues, which could have led into Betty actually explaining what happened with the cheating, including how the affair ended, and she could have apologized for that. It still wouldn't have been fully satisfying because Betty never apologizes first for her actions, but it would've been better than nothing. She also could have apologized for standing him up, although at least she explained why she didn't make it to the book release party.

3. However, she still didn't admit to or apologize for giving away Jughead's manuscript. The entire reason Jughead relapsed into drinking and almost plagiarized Cora is because Betty gave Jessica his manuscript. No, Betty does not get credit for "saving" Jughead because she was present when he got a phone call from Samm and admitted that he wasn't the author. She's the reason he was in that position in the first place. Yes, she had been drugged. Yes, Tabitha was present and didn't stop her. No, neither of those things excuse it. It also doesn't excuse her from sharing the voicemail with Tabitha and Jessica.

Why not? She and Tabitha were still shown as functional when all of this happened. Jessica admitted that she drugged them to try to get the manuscript. They were both capable of thinking and arguing. Betty chose to give the manuscript to Jessica. It wasn't until afterward that Betty and Tabitha started being really impacted by the drugs. Jughead's manuscript wasn't Betty's (or Tabitha's) to give away and doing so completely screwed Jughead over.

There are some questions here--did he switch over to his typewriter and that's why there was no backup? did he forget to save a copy on his laptop? did his laptop crash or get lost? who knows, but in the story it doesn't matter. There was one copy and Betty gave it away, placing Jughead in the position of losing his agent or plagiarizing another author.

Also, for playing the voicemail, Jessica had just brought the drugged fries to the table. No one is shown as having felt the effects of the drugs until Tabitha made a comment about being warm after the voicemail is over. Betty had been reluctant to help from the beginning, before Tabitha mentioned the "don't be a Betty" line, and made fairly rude comments about Jughead throughout the episode. I don't think she needs to apologize to Jughead for sharing it, but I also thought that playing the victim and having some people blame it on "being high" was ridiculous.

4. You cannot convince me that Betty cares about Jughead in the slightest when he was telling her he was an alcoholic and he's trying to get better and he's clearly drinking alcohol right in front of her and her response is "I'm an addict, too. I'm addicted to serial killers." She's struggling, yes, and it's good that she's opening up, but if she cared about Jughead at all an appropriate response here would be "So, why are you drinking?" or "are you okay?" Show some sort of concern for someone who is relapsing in front of your face. Jughead does it for Betty when he suggests she should take a break, even though he's in a moral quandary caused by Betty, depressed, and drunk.

Also, no, chasing serial killers is not an addiction in the same way as drugs or alcohol and it's insulting to say they're the same. Chasing serial killers could be described as a compulsion for Betty, or a hyperfixation, but it's not the same. It's difficult, but you can choose to not follow a compulsion without experiencing the often severe physical side effects experienced by actual addicts. I'm glad Betty recognized that she has a problem, but no, that is not an addiction.

5. The entire conversation is extremely awkward. It's clear that it isn't what Jughead had in mind, but his life that he had just been starting to get back together fell apart. He sank to new (or at least different) lows. Betty seemed like she wanted to leave as soon as she got there (understandable given how awkward it was, even secondhand) and disappeared once Jughead was distracted by a phone call. It's understandable, but disappointing. The part that was really frustrating, though, was that after talking to Jughead about how unhealthy her serial killer obsession is and how she's worried about her mom, she still goes out. Alice was passed out on the couch, which Betty paused to acknowledge. That should have been a turning point for Betty and it just wasn't. Screw these writers.

6. I loved that Tabitha and Jughead had mutual apologies, discussed their issues, and genuinely seemed to care about each other. I also loved that Jughead still cares and worries about Betty (frustrating as it is when it seems unreciprocated) because it's so true to Jughead's character.

7. It is absolutely fine and understandable if Betty has moved on from Jughead. She seemed to believe that if he found out about the cheating in their senior year, it would be the end of their relationship. She started shutting him out and trying to move on the next day.

However, as a Jughead fan, it's intensely annoying to see him still struggling with the lack of closure and continuing to have feelings for Betty after all of that. I would have preferred to see either both of them move on, then rediscover each other later (or not, depending on where the show is going), or have Betty be the one who still clearly has feelings for Jughead and have her regret blowing up the relationship.

8. Overall, I hate a lot of what the writers have done this season. I don't particularly like any of the backstories for the characters during the time jump, I don't like each character following a separate plot line(s), the lack of interaction between characters, and how disjointed everything feels.

The mothman plot was interesting, but seems destined for a disappointing end. There have been a lot of missed opportunities to bring storylines together (Jughead went missing while Archie was looking for escaped prisoners, he could have found Jughead; Jughead hitchhiked with a random trucker, even without the trucker attacking him he could have seen clues or found Polly; Sweet Pea or Fangs could have seen Betty playing hooker and organized an intervention instead of having the weird cult plot line; I'm sure there's more). Maybe it'll be better with a binge watch, but I'm having trouble maintaining interest in the final three episodes, let alone rewatching this mess of a season.

BONUS: I was relieved that the Bughead talk did not go with my worst case scenario. Based on the possible B/A return, I was a little bit worried that Jughead would apologize for the voicemail and remember what he said, then talk about how he always knew Betty had feelings for Archie. Betty, who said she'd been "wanting this since high school," would then nod along and say she was sorry for hurting him, but acknowledge those feelings. Then Jughead would ask why they never acted on those feelings after the breakup, Betty would talk about the FWB, and Jughead would go full B/A cheerleader and tell her to give it a chance (like the Pacey and Joey chat about Dawson at Mitch's funeral in Dawson's Creek). I was dreading that possibility and I'm so glad the show didn't go there. I'm sorry if I've given anyone nightmares.

#anti betty cooper #rd fandom negativity #riverdale writers negativity #anti barchie

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sir-phineas-lost · 4 years ago

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Follow-up post

So I got a reply to my comment about the ableism in Ironwood’s character arc by @swapauanon and then they immediately blocked me. Since I am sometimes a petty bastard I decided to make a separate response anyway.

The first thing I would like to point out is that this person does not actually address my points in any way throughout this lengthy rant. My comment was all about the behind-the-scenes comments from the creators and they only responded with in-text examples and their interpretations of them. Those are important sure, and I will talk about those, but they don’t exactly come off as arguing in good-faith right from the get-go.

Okay, so I don’t TYPICALLY acknowledge RWDE’s beyond blocking them, but I think it’s important to separate how Ironwood views himself versus how the writers view him.

Because Ironwood’s entire downfall is his misunderstanding of how humanity works. He denies his own humanity, and sees maiming his vulnerable flesh and replacing it with unfeeling machinery as ridding himself of his own human weaknesses.

Except at the end of the day, he can’t cast off his VERY human soul, and his refusal to acknowledge that he can’t and SHOULDN’T do that are ultimately what leads to his downfall.

I have seen this “Actually it is just Ironwood himself that is ableist” argument before, and I don’t think it holds any water. While it is true that he begins to see compassion as a weakness, he never expresses the views you say he does about his own machine parts. And if you want to talk about how Ironwood sees himself vs how the writers see him you really can’t do so without talking about framing and subtext. When we get scenes that emphazize Ironwood’s machine parts to make him look intimidating or use his passive superpower (described as “hyper-focus” by the creators themselves) to shut off his empathy, that is the writers telling us that these physical aspects of Ironwood makes him less human.

Meanwhile, what V8C12 was TRYING to convey (even if it was horrible in its execution), was that it’s one’s SOUL that defines them, not the body that houses it.

Literally NO OTHER CHARACTER with mechanical parts added to their body views themselves as less human.

[...]

Penny doesn’t angst over not being human, she angsts over being treated like a soulless tool. (Which is why I don’t like that they turned her human. Had they set up that she’d wanted to be human back in Volume 2, it would’ve been one thing, but they don’t establish that Penny wanted to be human until AFTER her mechanical body has been discarded.)

So here they outright contradict themselves. They start off saying that no other character views themselves this way, and then go on to say that Penny does (but only after she has been turned human). And like, points for admitting that scene was bad, but they seem unwilling to consider that maybe the fact that the writers did include that scene tells us something about the way the show at large views disability. They seem to think they can just write it off and move on like this instance of Penny absolutely seeing herself as inhuman can just be ignored. it also disregards that this isn’t just Penny expressing how she feels about herself. When Penny gets her human body she expresses surprise that hugging someone makes her feel “warm inside” even though she has hugged people countless times before. This is not a villain saying that having machine parts makes you less human and being proven wrong, this is a hero saying outright that “wow, my mechaniocal body made me unable to appreciate this simple human interaction, but now that I have a flesh-body I can”. Things like this is why I do not buy the argument that it is only Ironwood who thinks being part machine makes you less human.

Mercury doesn’t angst over the loss of his legs, he angsts over the piece of his soul his father tore out.

[...]

While Yang DOES lose her arm and angst over it, she doesn’t view herself as less human because of her prosthetic.

The closest we get to a LITERAL “cybernetics eats your soul” story is with Cinder, and she doesn’t have ANY cybernetics, just a parasitic leash that’s slowly consuming her flesh and threatens to eventually consume her mind if she doesn’t get rid of it. And if/when she does, I imagine she’ll replace that with a mechanical arm.

(I moved a few parts of their post around here because it made more sense to me to talk about these quotes together)

I feel like this highlights how much this person completely ignores the core argument of what makes the themes in RWBY ableist. They focus way too much on the literal and whether the characters “angst” over their humanity. But like I have said before, thie main issue here is theme and subtext.

Mercury doesn’t “angst” over his legs, but that doesn’t erase the subtext inherent in the fact that he still lost his legs (and presumanbly the piece of his soul) at the same time as he joins team evil.

Yang is probably the best take on a disabled person with a prosthetic in the show. I will give it that. I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with how it has handled this storyline, but I do think it sets a certain expectation for how it thinks a “good” person should handle their disability. Because Yang basically deals with her lost arm by seeing her prosthetic as an “extra”. She creates a distance between herself and it instead of seeing her mechanical arm as actually part of herself. Again, nothing inherently wrong with that but combined with the Penny-nonsense it creates a pattern of seeing machine parts as inherently inhuman and “lesser”.

The point about Cinder is where the argument relies too much on technicality. Sure, Cinder’s new arm isn’t cybernetic, bhut it is still a prosthetic and it is unambiguously presented as evil and corrupting.

So, no, it’s not the fact that Ironwood has prosthetics that makes him less human, they’re simply a symptom of his view of “soft” traits (kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and flesh), as weaknesses to be sacrificed for the “greater good”. Basically, while I know this term gets misused a lot, Ironwood embodies toxic masculinity. The idea that showing any emotion other than rage and pride is “shameful” and “unmanly”. The idea that brute strength matters more than strategy. That taking unnecessary risks to achieve your goal is “brave” and “daring” and not “stupid beyond belief”. Plus, I want to point out that WINTER HERSELF said that Penny (as a robot) was more “human” than her.

Again, this completely ignores how Ironwood and his prosthetics are framed by the narrative. The idea that all of his flaws are based in toxic masculinity and have nothing to do with his disability is just not very supported by the text or by word of God (again, it was the creators themselves who said that losing his arm was “symbolic of losing his humanity).

And Winter’s words to Penny aren’t very positive either. The point being made there is that Penny was always human “underneeth” her robotics, which sounds good until you realize that this still frames her mechanical differences as negative. They are treated as a prison for the “real” Penny and the narrative explicitly tells us that they have made her unable to feel certain emotions.

It’s just that searing off that flesh after breaking his own Aura serves as a good visual metaphor for Ironwood giving up his “softer” traits to accomplish his goals, even if there was a better solution staring him right in the face (i.e. the rings were EXPOSED and he could’ve just nudged them out of alignment to get to Watts).

This feels like a really big reach on their parts to justify their idea of Ironwood as stupid on top of everything else. It relies on assuming things about fictional technology that was never explained in the show itself. I mean, if the rings are so easy to nudge then what is even holding them in place?

Either way it doesn’t really matter because the message of the scene is the same. If the point is to signal that ironwood is willing to give up his softer traits because he is also willing to give up his soft bady, then that also tells the viewer that being able-bodied and being capable of compassion/kindness/etc are synonymous.

It has nothing to do with the metal, and everything to do with the “Mettle”.

I have no idea why they would bring up the fantasy neurodivergence the writers added in through word-of-God as if it somehow makes the show less ableist. “Mettle” as it is described by the writers, is not a character flaw. It is a chronic condition.

Edit: Seriously, I hope you realize that the hatedom makes it VERY hard for any criticism of the show to be taken seriously when the very VALID cricisms are downed out by “Adam should’ve been an anti-hero!” and “Fascism is good, actually!” leading to those of us with ACTUAL constructive criticism getting lumped in with you lot!

I am curious what they think “constructive criticism” looks like since apparently “Hey, constantly equating robot parts with inhuman behavior is shitty and ableist, please stop” doesn’t cut it.

Anyways, fuck this guy. If they want to be taken seriously maybe they should think about why they had to make such a long-ass rant to dismiss criticism of very basic ableist tropes.

#rwby #rwby meta #meta #rwby critical #rwde

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rechoired · 4 years ago

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A problem with the Tales Of Arcadia community

First and foremost, I’d like to ask anyone taking the time to read this to please read the post all the way through before commenting on the matter. There is a lot of dirty laundry to unpack here, and some points will be building off previous ones.

I’ll get right to the point. Most everybody in the Tales of Arcadia fandom will have heard of the blog imthegingerninja / ginger-le-gay. She is one of the most well-known ToA-centric blogs, after all. (If you’re wanting to avoid her on Twitter as well, her account is Margaret Bell, or @The_Book_Bell.)

This is your PSA, TOA fandom: Ginger is a toxic, manipulative person.

This is not a claim I like to make lightly, but it’s long overdue that this issue is properly brought up within the fandom.

I’ve seen so many people wonder why the Tales of Arcadia fandom is so small. Well, I and many others very strongly believe that Ginger is one of the main reasons for that, if not the main one. To make matters easier, I’ve tried to break this down into some main points. So let’s take a look at how Ginger falls under this category.

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT look at this post as an excuse to harass Ginger or any other blog mentioned here. This sort of behavior is NOT acceptable. The point of this post is to educate those who may not know the extent of her harrowing behavior, nothing more.

1. Dishonesty and Death Threats

[EDIT: Shortly after this post went up, she started blatantly lying about me to try to cover for herself. You can see those lies being easily disproven here]

Ginger has been kicked from at least three Tales of Arcadia servers, all for similar reasons of violence. While I cannot provide screenshots as I am no longer part of the servers they were in, there are multiple witnesses that can verify the disgusting behavior she engaged in. The one I saw specifically was her saying that certain members of the fandom should be gathered up and hunted for sport, among other gross things. (Elaboration of why can be found in point 3, though it still doesn’t excuse this kind of talk)

Here is some points made by another blog that also sums up similar issues with Ginger, though:

While there were multiple instances of her inciting violence towards others, this is unfortunately one topic I cannot provide specific screenshots for at this time. But I will add them in as I can find them. That being said, I want to move to the dishonesty, something I do have a screenshot for.

While you could argue that people sometimes notice the similar things, this is far too close together to be considered an “original find”. The reblog button is there for a reason, but she instead decides to steal the OP’s premise and present it as her own original thought.

There have been a couple other blogs that have confirmed that their theories and analysis posts were often stolen and presented as Ginger’s own as well, to the point where they stopped bothering even making such posts, as the above blog points out. (Out of respect for their privacy, I will not be naming these blogs. Say what you will about that possibly weakening my point, but if she’s willing to so blatantly steal from that person shown above, it shouldn’t surprise you that she’s so willing to do it to others.)

Theory-making and analysis posts aren’t as solidly “original content” as a piece of art or fanfiction, sure, but it’s still common fandom courtesy to give credit where it’s due. Ginger has intentionally avoided extending that courtesy far too many times.

2. Hypocrisy

Most of this is going to be about past Merlin vs. Morgana drama, though there are also words to be said for the incredibly shaky relationships she forms with “friends”.

But first let’s talk about those wizards.

This is a topic I’ve tried to approach with Ginger before, but she borderline refused to acknowledge any of the points I was trying to make, and when she did, I don’t know if I just wasn’t being clear or what, but it honestly looked as though she was purposefully trying to misunderstand what I was saying in her bizarre responses. (To be fair, I was sending messages out of anger because she vagueposted about a blog I admired, calling them a “disgusting creep” because of them simply saying they’d hoped Jim and Merlin would be able to actually bond at some point... Not really a justifiable reaction to such a harmless thought, in my opinion. But my point is, I recognize that the circumstances may have clouded my ability to vocalize my thoughts clearly.)

That aside, we should first acknowledge this post Ginger made to save face after having gotten some backlash about hate-train related things (Side note: I couldn’t find the original post, so this is a screenshot I got from someone else. I did not add the writing. The text underneath it should still be slightly readable, I hope.):

Taken at face value, this is a very reasonable post. I think everybody would and should be able to agree on it. Hate-meme him for fun, sure, but don’t actually harass or insult others over a fictional character. Simple, right?

Apparently not, because Ginger’s done loads of that to others. Probably why the “LOL” was added in, I bet.

This post confused me. First of all, exploring dark topics (”angst”, as you put it) has never been a rare occurrence, every fandom has that content, most in heavy abundance. I’ve noticed no staggering difference in volume of this fandom compared to others I’ve been in. People enjoy angst not because they think the character “deserves to be in pain”, they enjoy a fictional blow to their own emotions. There’s lots of different reasons people like angst, but it’s barely ever been out of a genuine hate for whatever character’s the focus, from all the things I’ve seen. Your own friends have indulged in Jim angst and body horror posts before, does that mean you think they’re awful people? I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain something like this.

Also, way to basically admit you think all Merlin stans get off on child torture. So much for “If you like Merlin as a character, you’re valid”, am I right? God, what a mess of a post. (It’s been very recently deleted, which makes me wonder if she got more backlash on it, but just... wow.)

Let’s look at another one.

Again. Vagueposting about someone specific, I’d wager, since most of the people I’ve seen comment on this topic either think both characters are morally gray, or hate both.

But of course, when it comes to Morgana, suddenly excusing bad behavior can be justified. Ginger can call someone a disgusting creep because they want a familial bond between Jim and Merlin, that’s just wrong, but pushing the Mom-gana narrative with the genocidal abuser and Toby is completely fine, folks.

(Note: I would like to point out that I really don’t care about what theories and hopes people have for Morgana. You should be allowed to love that character in any way you want, same as I would say for Merlin. My issue with these examples is the completely brazen hypocrisy in which these two characters are treated. You’re obviously allowed to love Morgana without consequence, but the same should be said for any character of the show, and yet it’s not.)

The most obvious instance of this double-standard is well observable here, I believe:

... I think this mostly speaks for itself. Sorry, but this is very blatantly trying to excuse Morgana’s actions, here.

Oh hey, remember that post about Ginger saying that liking Merlin must mean you want to see Jim in horrible pain?

Say anything similar about her with Morgana, and suddenly she takes issue with this line of reasoning!

I’m sorry, but if you can’t take this sort of thing, then you shouldn’t be dishing it out. One of your own friends is still getting hate over the simple fact of liking Merlin, and all this mentality is exactly why.

Let’s look at one more.

Fun fact! Morgana horrifically abused somebody for centuries, tried to kill multiple kids, took horrible advantage of Claire (probably traumatized her), and canonically wanted to genocide humanity, not to mention all the OTHER murders she's committed, both directly and indirectly.

But somehow pointing any of this out “doesn’t count”. This is why the fandom keeps saying more and more things like this:

And this:

I could be going through her constant hating on Merlin and people who like Merlin for days straight, but I hope you all get the idea by now.

Again, I would like to just reiterate: You can like whatever character you want for whatever reason you want. The problem with this case is the hypocrisy and mistreatment of others, not your taste in characters.

Now interestingly enough, she’s lately been singing a different tune about the guy, switching from the “I hate Merlin I hope he dies!!!” mentality to “Oh he should get a redemption arc too :)” sort of thing.

I’m highly convinced that the only reasons for this “change of heart” is because of the constant backlash she was getting for the obnoxious amount of hate posts being thrown around all the time, but also because Aaron Waltke keeps tabs on the fandom more lately, and has spoken himself about Merlin not being a villain.

I could go on about this point forever, but I think I’ll just leave the Merlin topic with this post going through the hypocrisy of the Merlin Hate Train. In fact, here’s two just for fun.

Now onto more real-world focused areas of hypocrisy. One such instance can be found in Ginger’s Janus Disorder server.

Just take a look at this post.

While the offender in this case isn’t Ginger specifically, it still takes place in her server, and she made no moves to enforce her “No discourse” rule. All over... what? A random kudos on a fanfiction that’s not even about anything controversial since all characters involved are adults? I immensely don’t understand the point of why this ever had to be an issue, or why nobody spoke up about how ridiculous this is.

I’d also like to point out a certain user called firecat17. For some quick context, waaay back in the Kung Fu Panda fandom (around 2018), this user had been harassing people and saying incredibly vile things, a person of which Ginger had a bit of a feud, but firecat’s anon threats had gotten to the point where Ginger ended up having to block their IP.

Obviously, the user firecat was the one in the wrong, here. (Also, the irony in this comment is through the roof...)

Interesting point there, Ginger. Sure would be nice if you practiced what you preached.

Why am I bringing this random old drama up, you may ask? Well, it just strikes me as strange that someone who was so vile to Ginger is suddenly on her okay-list again, sending her asks and getting casual responses as if nothing ever happened.

To be fair, there is the possibility that they worked out their differences in private. But given the severity of the kinds of words being exchanged, I would still find that rather suspicious.

When someone who’s said things so vile can be so easily forgiven, yet something as harmless as leaving a kudos on some random fanfiction is considered grounds for harassment, it’s obvious there’s no stability or room for trust among this group of people. Unsurprising when there’s been several instances of this “friend group” turning on each other.

If you think you’re somehow different, that your “friendship” with Ginger or the others is more valued than that, then I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it’s likely not true. She’d throw you under the bus at the hint of you doing something she deems problematic, as it’s happened to multiple blogs before you.

3. Demonization of and insensitivity towards s*xual abuse victims

(This topic is one that’s hard for me to talk about, being a victim of CSA myself, so I’ve gathered some different sources to do most of the main talking for me. I tried to form more commentary on this myself, but I get too emotionally charged in my responses, and I don’t want that to cloud any reader’s perception of what I’m trying to communicate here, so I’ll try to keep most of my comments brief on this one.)

One thing recently brought to my attention about Ginger and her squad that especially bothers me is their rashness in labeling people p*dophiles and p*do apologists. If these claims were true, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

But these people are accusing others of these horrible things and threatening them on the sole basis of fictional content.

Now before you fly off the handle at me, let me be very clear: I absolutely understand that there are gross people out there who use the “It’s all just fiction” argument to hide their actual, pr*datory behaviors. (We’ve all probably seen at least one or two neckbeard memes of that caliber)

But like it or not, exploring traumatic themes through a fictional lens is something that has been studied and proven to be a genuine coping mechanism for some. It’s not something that works for me, but I knew a few people from past therapy groups that it worked surprisingly well for. Bringing a trauma into a controlled environment and processing it through fictional means can and does help some victims deal with what they went through.

It’s important to understand that not everyone processes their experience in the same neat, little boxes you have laid out as the only “acceptable” ways of coping. Trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy are commonly used by victims, and it does help some people, whether you like it or not.

I’m already dragging this on too much, so here are some sources for better-worded information on the topic (Warning: Most of these deal with highly sensitive themes such as gun violence and s*xual abuse.)

Source 1 - Source 2 - Source 3 - Source 4 - Source 5 (pages 61 onward, specifically) - Source 6 - Source 7 - Source 8 - Source 9 - Source 10 (and believe me, if those all don’t satisfy you, I can easily supply more.)

And this quote from source 9 I think sums it up best:

“Fiction works differently. My imagination gives me a framework to process the grief and terror and the consequences, even when I myself have not found any resolution. It allows me to enter my own traumatic experiences sideways and linger inside them, if I know I can give them to characters who might be lucky enough to find the antidote: love, connection, community, family. In other words, I can enter — and exit — the trauma loop through stories that are not exactly the same as mine.

This goes for the reader also. Recent studies periodically assure us that stories — literary fiction, hardcover books, even the simple act of reading — promote empathy. We rarely have identical experiences, so fiction is how we practice linking our similar or parallel realities so we can feel them. This seems particularly useful in our current society, where we are all so separated, and are working so hard to block the violence that keeps happening to us from our minds.

Fiction connects us, and it can also contribute to our healing. When we see ourselves in worlds we don’t live in, like The Handmaid’s Tale or The Color Purple, sometimes, that very different violence helps us finally process our own. Because as much as our memoirs and testimonies are brave and validating, fiction does not just mirror our truths so they are safe to experience; it also helps us endure the aftermath. Because long after the immediate experience is over, survival struggles onward, in every moment of our daily lives.”

While most professionals have in the past advised that victims keep their trauma-related works more private, to only show it to your trusted friends or family, the fast-growing use of the internet has led more people to sharing it in an online platform, which is not unexpected behavior.

I unfortunately don’t have the screenshot of the original post, but there was a post made some time back literally telling a fandom member to go and hang themselves over this garbage. A survivor of s*xual abuse, no less. And to top that off, one of Ginger’s squad @emmy-puff commented in support of that violent post, as well as blatantly misgendering the target of it. While, again, I was unable to get screenshots, there are multiple witnesses to this instance, one Anonymous even having called them out on it back when it happened. (I suspect that Emmy deleted that answer due to how bad it made them look.) If anybody reading this has screenshots of the initial post or the ask that came of it, please feel free to share.

I don’t care who you are or who you’re talking about, if you use misgendering someone as a way to hurt them, then you are an insult to the trans community. That is an awful thing to do, and you lose so much credibility if that’s the only thing you can fall back on when getting in a fight with someone. While this post isn’t about Emmy specifically, this is exactly the kind of hateful rhetoric that’s being encouraged in the environment Ginger’s made.

Another thing I would like to point out on this matter is an instance that happened in the ToA fandom a couple years back. I, again, don’t have screenshots available (I believe the original post ended up deleted) but the post in question caused enough of a fuss that I’m sure a few people must remember it...

A while back, there was an artist that posted uncensored, untagged r*pe art of Aaarrrgghh, Gunmar, and Jim in the main Trollhunters tag. As you can imagine, this infuriated many people. Many of which are among the list of those who’ve been labeled “p*do apologists”. Almost the very minute that post showed up in the tag with no trigger warnings of any kind, the fandom immediately got on OP’s tail about it, because they all shared that basic understanding of “This is a traumatizing subject for many people and they should have the ability to avoid it”. If the people you’ve labelled as pr*dator supporters were really as awful as you say they are, they would’ve jumped to that person’s defense, too. But they were completely against OP’s horrible lack of consideration of survivors, right alongside the rest of the fandom.

Am I saying you have to like trauma fiction? Absolutely not. Are there people that make trauma fiction that are actual pr*dators? I’m sure there are. But those people would be that way whether trauma fiction was out there or not. Gross people have existed and will always exist regardless of what media is out there.

I deeply understand the controversy, uncertainty, and stress that surrounds this topic, I promise you, I do. But the fact of the matter is, some people actually do use trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy as a way of coping, as has been observed in people even from ages as young as 5. To say otherwise is blatantly untrue. This isn’t a matter of opinion or morals, this is plain, studied facts that you cannot change about human psychology.

Nobody should ever have to go through something as horrible as s*xual abuse of any kind, and I know how deeply upsetting it can be to see certain images or stories with those themes in play. Those users with a sense of decency and understanding for fellow victims will tag their posts with the appropriate warnings. After that, it’s up to you to filter out what you don’t want to see. You curate your own internet experience, and it’s just plain irrational to try and harass everyone into conforming to your rules. While it’s an 18+ blog’s job to make sure to tag and label their content appropriately, it is your job to block the things you don’t want to see, whether you’re an adult or a minor. It is YOUR job to blacklist content that you know will upset you, because it is always going to exist on the internet, and any internet user needs to know and understand that. Multiple times I’d seen people going off about posts that were already appropriately trigger-tagged. If you don’t have those upsetting tags blacklisted by now, then the fault is mostly on you in that kind of case, not the OP.

Before I end this topic off, just one more example of blatant disrespect towards victims:

I’m sorry, but the absolute nerve of comparing some random fictional character you’re petty over to an actual pr*dator who’s terribly hurt real children is just awful. Imagine how insulted one of Onion’s victims would be if they saw that. Lord.

Ginger claims to care about victims, but she’s made it abundantly clear that she only cares about those that behave the way she think a victim should.

4. Ableism

I’m going to just show a couple posts here and let them mostly speak for themselves.

Just... my God. You looked at the definition of psychopath and decided that was enough to give you qualification to speak like this about it? Do you realize the extensive work and study of human psychology goes into the diagnosis and understandings of psychopathy? Not to mention, you just admit to thinking people deserve hate because of a mental disorder they legitimately have no control over? I’m sorry, but that is just cruel. Demonization of the mentally ill is not cute or funny. Next.

While I’m still annoyed with Emmy’s transphobic treatment of another user mentioned earlier, they make a very solid point in this instance. (The first post they referenced has since been deleted, but here’s the second one speaking out against the ableism.) I feel I don’t need to add much to this, as these points have already been argued very well by users better qualified to speak on the subject than I.

5. Manipulation tactics

This part is more observations of two kinds of abuse tactics Ginger appears to demonstrate, using the above as points of reference.

First, there’s DARVO.

Then, less formally, there’s this good point about online cult mentality.

Before you say anything, obviously I don’t think Ginger thinks of herself as some sort of deity. While it could be argued that she considers herself a point of authority within the TOA fandom maybe, I haven’t seen enough of this to say for sure how far that goes. So that point can be ignored, because it mostly doesn’t apply in this case. (The “Dictating parts of your online life” might also not apply, but I can’t say for sure as I haven’t gotten any confirmation of that sort of thing in Ginger’s group.)

But there are grains of truth in the other four points, especially that last one. Plain and simple, she’s made people afraid to speak their minds about even harmless things such as character analysis.

Ginger is someone who can’t seem to comprehend different viewpoints and life experiences. She’s extremely unsympathetic towards people she doesn’t understand, as can be observed in above examples. Assuming malicious intent from everybody you can’t understand is a dangerous and hurtful mindset to have, for both you and those who you unnecessarily scorn.

There are a few outcomes I’ve speculated should she ever come to see this post.

1. She will ignore this post completely, pretending as if it doesn’t exist

2. She will dismiss me as being some sort of horrible person, a p*do apologist or something of the sort (despite being a victim of that myself, clearly she doesn’t care about who’s actually been hurt by real p*dos or not if they don’t conform to her narrow worldview), and claim nothing I’ve said bears any meaning, despite the extensive evidence I’ve provided.

3. She will get people to try and attack me.

4. She will actually address these points in a tactful, mature, and serious manner instead of her usual act of trying to dismiss everything at the slightest hint of non-conformity. (The least likely outcome, but one can dream.)

I could add to this post all day, but it’s long enough as it is and my focus was on getting the main points out of the way. I understand that I lack some of the receipts necessary to back myself up in a few parts, but I know that many other fans have bared witness to those things, so I know there will be at least some people who’ll know what I speak of is true, and that’s good enough for me.

That being said, if anybody has screenshots of the instances I wasn’t able to provide for, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add them into the conversation.

!!!-If you have screenshots, but are too uncomfortable to get involved in this, then you can private-message them to me and I would be grateful and more than happy to add them in while keeping you completely anonymous.-!!!

(I've removed the section with all the tags, as I recognize it was probably going overboard. My goal was just to spread information, not to try and involve those tagged, but I understand how that may have gotten lost in translation and made people uncomfortable. Also, it apparently was showing up multiple times in people’s notifications when I only tagged people twice, so I’m not sure why that glitch happened, but I apologize for that annoyance as well.)

Now, to end us off, my responses to questions or angry comments I’m probably going to get:

You don’t even have all the evidence! How are we to know you’re not just lying about some of this?

Admittedly, I don’t have as much screenshot proof as I would like, that’s true. But for most of the instances I couldn’t provide for, there were other witnesses to her bad behavior. I don’t really have the need to lie when there’s already a lot of knowledge out there of the bad stuff she has done. Nor do I really have the emotional investment in this fandom anymore to lie for the pointless reason of causing drama.

Why post this on a throwaway account if you think people are on your side?

I just don’t really want my main blog associated with TOA anymore, to be frank.

You tagged a bunch of people, so you must be trying to get them to attack Ginger!

No. I tagged a bunch of people because I think this information should be heard on a wider scale, considering the position Ginger has in the fandom. I don’t want her or anybody else to be attacked, but her negative impact on this fandom deserves to be acknowledged.

Again, I don’t think Ginger or any of the others deserve harassment or cyberbullying or anything of that manner, that’s kind of what this whole post is against. And it just hurts the situation more than it helps it. What bothers me is how she’s never apologized for or even once acknowledged the gross way she’s treated people. While she might be more low-key about it now, she still treats people who don’t deserve it like garbage. There are still several people upset about the damage she’s caused to this fandom, rightfully so. I wouldn’t be so loud about making this post if I didn’t think it was something worth drawing attention to.

Thank you for reading.

#TrollHunters #3Below #TOAwizards #Tales of Arcadia #TOA

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poetrybyanelf · 3 years ago

Text

My sister misses social cues

Over the years she has copied

Many toxic traits

Not understanding them

And used them with me

I am both her hero and

The one who is always wrong

My sister has crossed all my boundaries

And every time it hurts

The pain building up like a cut

Never allowed to heal

And I would get angry

My mother, would try to quell my anger

By disciplining me for it,

In her effort to maintain harmony

But harmony is not the absence of anger

It is coexisting in a way that every can be happy

My mother had chosen a side,

Whenever she told me off,

And it wasn't mine

For, by demonising my anger and telling me it was wrong,

She had told my sister, her behaviour was appropriate and mine unreasonable

She had told my sister that my anger was an overreaction

To a valid feeling of violation

At the trampling of my boundaries

My reaction was

Something to be corrected

Rather than acknowledged

She had unwittingly allowed

Encouraged even

My sister to continue to ignore

My boundaries

Because she corrected my anger first

Before moving on to consider what I had said

And then, she would ignore it

Because it was only a minor incident

If it had happened just the once

But it was never a one off

I would break down,

Crying and pleading for it to stop

And then they would listen

They would realise how much it had hurt

But it was too late

My boundaries had been pushed further out

My pain was no longer minor

But my sister now saw me telling her,

Her behaviour was wrong

As an overreaction and me being in the wrong

She would now respect my boundary

The ones that I had cried over

But ignore the new one that had gone up beneath her feet

When she had made me so upset

That I had had to cry

As my only recourse

For the pain I felt

And the process would start again

She would cross it

I would get mad

My mum would hate my anger

My sister would copy my mother

In seeing my reaction as wrong

I would breakdown

My boundaries would expand

And back to the top

In an endless cycle

Where she never actually learnt

To respect me as a person

And constantly told me I was in the wrong

For hating it

How she violated the few rules I actually laid down

Willfully ignoring them

For not getting social cues is one thing

But I told her verbally and she still did it

She choose to ignore me

Whenever I told her no, stop

And then wondered why I hated her

Wondered why I wanted nothing to do with her

When I felt so uncomfortable

Just being around her

Expecting her to cross my boundaries

Expecting her to cause me pain

And expecting to be told off for

Crying over it

I want nothing to do with her

Because the only thing she has brought is pain

Yet I am the bad guy

Because I am her hero

I am her older sibling

I should protect her

The one who caused me nothing but pain

The one who ignored me whenever I said no

The one who was allowed to do so

You don't get to tell me I am wrong

For hating her

When she so clearly doesn't respect me

You shouldn't treat anyone this way

My brother and I get along

For the simple fact that I

Respect his boundaries

And he respects mine back

He listens when I tell him no

He stops when I say it hurts

And he treats me as an equal

Someone worthy of respect

Yet I am in the wrong for liking him better

For choosing to spend time with him over her

Why

Why should I spend time with someone who hurts me so

Why is it okay for her to violate my boundaries

But not for me to be angry

My brother is angry when I go into his room without permission

And I respect that

That's why I don't

I am angry when he undermines me

And he respects that

That's why he stopped

But me being angry that she hugged me when I didn't want it

Is somehow wrong?

Why is that different

Because she might have Asperger's and I should have explained it better?

Well I was a kid

I barely had the vocabulary to vocalise my anger

How was I supposed to explain why

You were the parent

Wasn't it your duty to explain boundaries

Her not understanding social cues, just means she needs them spelling out

But now she has internalised the message that me spelling out my social cues

Is me overreacting

And she only does that with me

Because rather than letting me explain, correcting her behaviour or making sure she understood

You demonised my pain

The outpourings of a child

As an overreaction

As mean

As unforgivable

So I broke down

I never learnt a healthy way of expressing it

Because you didn't let me

And now I know

My anger was justified

But it escalated to toxic levels

Because it was demonised

And I no longer see the point of even

Engaging with her

Because all she'll do is

Violate my boundaries,

Demonise my anger,

Make my cry,

And repeat

Until she eventually learns it's wrong

Until she changes

It's not up to me any more

And I don't see the point in trying to fix

Something I didn't break

Why should I work on a relationship

I don't wanna be part of

Because she is my sister?

Well I want nothing to do with her

Haven't since I was a child

Because she has caused me more pain

Than she has ever brought me joy

And you want your kids to be happy

But it's not my job to make her happy

At the cost of mine

She needs to work on herself

And her behaviour

Before she is ever allowed near me again

#to be clear I am not blaming Asperger's for this #my sister copied toxic behaviour and that toxic behaviour is the problem #toxic behaviour is always a problem no matter who it comes from because it is harmful and hurts others #toxic behavior #sad poem #hurt poem #depressed poem #dysfunctional family #toxic family #creative writing #poet #poem #poetry #writers on tumblr #writers of Tumblr

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justjimedits · 4 years ago

Text

Why Scott McCall Is Teen Wolf’s Worst Character

I’ve seen these people post their anti Derek, Stiles, Sterek - pro Scott crap in the “Derek Hale”, “Stiles Stilinski” and “Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski” tags on purpose.

#submission #it's been submitted all over but still publishing it #teen wolf discussion

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missmentelle · 5 years ago

Note

your post about leaving an abusive relationship pt 1: the happy good times > apology section... i am always the one apologizing and my partner makes me the one who is in the wrong every single time; they never ever apologize and i'm always always apologizing for things i sont even think i should apologize for because i didnt do them, and then it turns into a big argument and big "well you dont even try" so its justified that the other doesnt and im expected to just be alone and be grateful (1)

for any shred of affection or positive attention im granted, otherwise im worthless. ive felt so shitty about myself for the past year, im no longer confident and i cant even look at myself in the mirror anymore. sorry i have literally no one to talk to and i just needed to express this an d i dont really know what to do. the obvious answer is "get out" but its so easy to just say

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re in this situation. This sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship for you to be in, and it seems like you know that this isn’t right. No one deserves to be treated the way your partner is treating you; you’re being made to constantly live under a veil of guilt, shame and manipulation, and that’s not how anyone should treat their partner.

Abusers are experts at convincing their victims that everything is All Their Fault. While it’s true that some abusers will bombard their victims with love and apologies after they’ve had an explosive incident, their willingness to take responsibility for their own actions quickly fades after that initial burst of apologies - they quickly return to being mad at you for still being upset about the incident after they’ve apologized, or they blame you for not acknowledging “your part” in what happened. On a day-to-day level, they refuse to take any real responsibility for their own actions, and find ways to twist everything back on you. Trying to get an abusive partner to own up to their abuse is like trying to find a way out of a maze that has no exits. If you confront them about their unacceptable behaviour, you may go into that discussion completely certain that you are in the right, only to find yourself apologizing to them by the end of the conversation. There’s no way out. If you stand firm in your convictions, then you are the one being controlling and inflexible when they are ‘trying’ to make things work. If you cave in quickly, it’s your fault for ‘enabling’ their behaviour. You sharing your own feelings turns into you being ‘manipulative’ for ‘refusing to let things go’. Everything they do becomes your fault - you somehow provoked it, or encouraged it, or allowed it to happen. They don’t believe in accountability for themselves - it will always be your responsibility to tiptoe around their emotions.

I know that getting away from this kind of relationship is difficult, but it’s generally necessary. People with this mindset don’t really change - they have deeply ingrained beliefs about relationships, and there are no strategies you can use to make them understand that their actions are wrong. You have to protect yourself in this situation, and get away. Start by taking back your narrative and your side of the story. Take a notebook or open a note on your phone, and start writing down your side of the story. Record the shitty things they do that any normal person would expect an apology for. Get things down in black-and-white so that your partner cannot twist the narrative. After you’ve had a conversation where you come out apologizing even though you’re pretty sure you’re not in the wrong, go back and review your notes. See just how far your partner twisted things, and remind yourself that you are not the one being unreasonable here - they are. Talk to friends and family about what’s happening and share your notes with them, if you feel comfortable - having a conversation with someone outside the situation can help give you the perspective you need to recognize that your situation is not okay.

I also highly recommend reading ‘Why Does He Do That’ by Lundy Bancroft - I’ve just linked you to a free PDF of the book. This book really maps out the thought processes of abusers, and I think some of the scenarios and descriptions that he lays out will sound familiar to you. The first step to escaping from a toxic relationship is fully and completely recognizing that it is toxic and that you are not the one who made it that way.

I know that it may not feel like it right now, but you deserve better than the relationship that you are in right now. You deserve a relationship where you feel heard and where your partner owns up to their mistakes. That’s not too much to ask for. A partner should never make you feel like you should be grateful for their attention because no one else would put up with you, and you should never be made to feel like you have to deal with someone else’s toxic bullshit because it’s the only option you have other than being alone. Those ideas are nonsense, and an abusive partner puts them into your head on purpose so that you will let them mistreat you and not get any ideas about leaving. The fact of the matter, though, is that their treatment is unacceptable, and you have the right to expect better than that. You have the right to leave and look for someone who will treat you with kindness and basic human decency.

Best of luck to you.

Miss Mentelle

#AnsweredByMM #Anonymous

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musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer · 5 years ago

Text

I don’t think it’s okay to threaten someone’s children and family with death threats but Scooter trying to spin this in his favour and paint her as a villain is so gross.

Unquestionably, Scott played a big part in this. How you can know someone for over half their lifetime, watch them grow up and be a big part of their journey and life and to only then exploit and betray them in such a way is just...wow. But that’s another story.

They don’t really want to have fair conversationsns behind close doors, if that was their true intentions, we wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. Taylor was right, they just want her to be a ‘good little girl and shut up’; effectively bullying her into silence. This isn’t just purely about money or business, it’s clear at this point that they’re just being malicious, spiteful and trying to tear her down.

Just look at the statement Scooter released:

Oh what a suprise that truly must’ve been, you know seeing as he’s been a part of bullying her for years. Remember promoting that disgusting revenge porn music video and heralding it as a ‘must see’? Wow, as a husband and father I’m sure he’d love it if someone disgustingly violated his wife or children or someone he loved in such a way. He really showed such concern for Taylor’s wellbeing and the message that sent out; that that sort of bullying vile behaviour is ok, in fact it’s cool and ‘art’ and you should just accept it. You really don’t even have to imagine it being someone you’re close to to know that that’s wrong. He loved riding the Taylor hate wagon, he relished it. Respectful? You have to be joking.

Taylor’s music is so personal and close to her. She’s inanely talented and has a rare gift as songwriter. She pours her heart and soul into her music and she’s sacrificed and dedicated so much in order to make her art and perfect her craft. It shows. You can hear her in her music, it has a magical quality to it because you don’t just listen to her songs, you feel them and become immersed in the worlds that she creates. It resonates with so many of us. It’s value doesn’t just lie in the money it generates. And yet, despite her astronomical success, she remains so kind and grounded. It’s not just the people that meet her and are close to her that see that in her. The special bond and trust and love she has with us as fans, means that she doesn’t just feel like this superstar celebrity, in a way she feels like a friend. She’s so special. She doesn’t deserve what’s happening to her. No artist does.

Kanye tried to take credit for her success and downplay all her hard work and I can see how Scooter got along so well with him. To not only take part and relish in bullying her, it’s like he also finds great joy in being able to manipulate and control her. He knew full well what he meant when he proudly reposted that post, insinuating that in buying her masters he now somehow owned her. That doesn’t really sound like someone who respects and cares for her. He was taunting her.

Taylor has said herself she’s made efforts to work things out privately with her team but that hasn’t worked out. It’s so obvious that they really did back her into a corner. I think she has a right to speak up about what was happening to her and the injustices she’s facing. Like she said before: “There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it.”

Taylor’s situation sadly isn’t something completely novel. Artists being exploited in the music industry is a big problem and one that’s been happening for years, no matter how big their following is. It’s something that should have more light shed on, so that real coneversations and change can happen and that those involved can be held accountable. Again, I’m not condoning anyone sending out death threats or threatening violence but to villainize her for standing up for herself is so toxic. Bullies like to keep their victims silent and make them feel bad for them and how they feel, in order to make them easier to manipulate. I’m proud of Taylor for being brave enough to take a stand against what’s happening.

To further insult her he then says:

If he really is about peace and resolutions why on earth would you throw that jab in? I am so sick and tired of people trying to silence Taylor and gaslight her by saying she always wants to play ‘victim’ instead of actually acknowledging the truth, that she’s actually a human being who’s suffered a crazy amount of unjustified hate and unfairness to the point where bullying her is seen as a ‘cool’ thing to do. And yet she remains incredibly resilient and handles herself with such grace. Every time people try to tear her down, she picks herself back up, grows and comes back stronger than ever. She inspires me every day. I am so blessed to be able to love and support her and I am so damn proud of the woman she has become today.

She’s damned if she does, damned she doesn’t. She can’t win. There’s always something they’re going to flip just so they can hate on her. Remember when she tried to just say she wants to be excluded from the whole Kanye narrative and everyone came at her. Then when she channeled her pain into her music she was just looking for attention, playing victim and should somehow get overherself? Isn’t she allowed to just be human? She’s allowed to justifiably be angry and hurt and feel however she does. Is she not allowed emotions or only allowed what the hate train deems is acceptable for her? I am sorry for her and so done with this. She’s had a lifetime of this bs and she doesn’t deserve a second more.

Scooter never deserved the chance of ever owning her masters. Instead of just being able to enjoy this chapter of life and her new album which SHE RIGHTFULLY OWNS, she has to deal with this. She deserves to be happy, to own her music, do what she loves and live her life. I really hope things change for the better for her soon.

#taylor swift #taylurking #scooter braun #i stand with taylor #let her live

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spirit-of-the-void · 6 years ago

Text

Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter 35

Author’s notes: So sorry that this was late! I had to end up changing a lot more than I expected and essentially rewrote the who freaking chapter to compensate

Chapter 35

That moment between you and Vergil did not last long.

There was still so much more to say, to get off your chest. And his too, you would imagine. Vergil did not seem the type to lose himself in anything, but it was clear now he remembered a lot more than he let on. The son of Sparda was right, you were foolish not to realize sooner that V’s memories would still remain in this man, or that Vergil himself would not know how to process them. His burst of emotion had thrown him off kilter--you could see the confusion and desperation in his expression leading up to all that transpired. The very notion was like a dagger in your heart, twisting in place after that kiss and leaving you in your own state of disbelief and agony, bleeding and bleeding without fail.

What were you supposed to do, to feel? Vergil was so buried in his own, self made walls and barriers that he seemingly didn’t know how to handle emotions anymore. Even now, he did not speak after his rasped apologies to you, ones that were entirely unexpected. His head rested on your shoulder, body not moving while the last of your tears dried. So quiet--that silence spoke volumes, the Sparda radiating heat like a furnace in the continuing howl of the Void.

You didn’t know what to do, what to say to him. There had been a lot of cruelty spouted on both sides, things that were both needed and not. Regret filled you at how the situation had been handled, about some of the words that had left your mouth, but...some of them were things Vergil needed to hear, things you doubted someone had told him before.

There was no doubting the connect you still had. But now it was more confusing than ever.

You were a good person before anything else, even when someone had hurt you. There were things you didn’t understand, and that ignorance made it hard to excuse both V and Vergil’s actions during and leading away from the Qliphoth tree. But...you knew for certain now. Knew that the very same pain V had shared with you had been just as raw in Vergil, perhaps worse considering he refused to acknowledge it. Sometimes it was easier to run from pain, to hide it under layers and layers of coping mechanisms and toxic thinking to try and act like it wasn’t there. To make oneself feel strong--but it wasn’t healthy, and it was clear in Vergil’s case he got it into his head that becoming powerful was the answer, that feeling emotion would make him weak again. And what a shame that was, to see someone come out on the wrong side of their pain in a way that only caused more. A cycle, one that shouldn’t keep repeating.

His trauma did not excuse what he did, the deaths he caused. But it did explain them.

Could you possibly help Vergil? Especially with so much blood on his hands, hatred in his heart? All the day had proven was the capacity to feel did exist in him, but it took drastic measures to reach it, ones that did not need repeating. And you doubted he wanted to do so either. But there was no way this could be left alone to fester again, both of you sitting in a strange place where neither one knew what the other wanted, what to do with these feelings left over from that time in the tree. And that...was painful. It felt both wrong and right, splitting you right down the middle and leaving a lingering sense of nervousness and anxiety. It felt...right, kissing Vergil, but it didn’t feel right either.

Because you could feel V was a part of him, but those were not his lips, not his face or his body. You head was sending such mixed signals it almost made you dizzy.

“Vergil…” You spoke first, voice soft and cracking with how raw it felt. He tensed slightly at the sound, a breath of air exhaling from his lips as you continued in that same, lost tone, “You...you have V’s memories...don’t you?”

We are quite the pair, you and I.

He swallowed audibly, a sigh escaping those lips he had just kissed you with as he raised his head to finally look at your face. And what an expression to see on Vergil, one of tired pain, sorrow, desperation. Unable to pull himself back together after everything being so raw, and that made your own heart hurt to echo his. It was clear that he didn’t know what to do either, how to handle these emotions of his.

“...There was no hiding it,” He replied after some pause, running a hand through his silver hair and letting out another sigh, “Not when the memories are so...loud.”

Loud?

You closed your eyes, resting a single hand where his heart resided inside his chest. It was still racing, tempo still trying to find its rhythm as you replied softly, “Is the idea of loving me...so repulsive to you?”

What were you saying? It was never that easy, never. A relationship formed on the bones of what V left behind would have stung, caked with bitterness and struggle. But even then, the words still left your lips as you continued quietly, “Had you told me from the start I could have...could have…”

I could have tried--even if the shape is different, even if he’s buried inside you I would have tried to find him in you again. But how can I now, when it’s clear that the idea of loving me is only a weakness in your eyes?

Vergil fell silent for another moment, followed by the feeling of his chin resting on the top of your head. Such an action felt strange from him, a person who seemingly did not like affection in any form.

“...Repulsive isn’t the correct word,” He finally muttered, sounding incredibly tired and unsure of himself, “I didn’t know what to make of the memories I have--they feel like mine, yet also like a stranger’s. His memories. I have not been made to feel in a long time--to feel is to be human, and to be human is to embrace weakness. And you brought out that humanity, and it was…”

Frightening. It frightened him--you became that weakness in his eyes.

It made you feel incredibly sad, the way he had seemingly forged himself on the ideals of feeling as little as possible. Throwing away all that made him human, trying to appeal to his demonic half like it would somehow make him strong. Enough so to never be hurt again, to steel himself against the world’s cruelty brought upon at such a young age. And you hadn’t been any better, spending all those years filling your own head with the idea of pain being the only thing to make you feel alive, that suffering terrible agony would justify your existence. But...there were human emotions that people needed to survive, like empathy and kindness and love. To see Vergil deprive himself of even those…

V’s words echoed through your mind, coupled with the image of him staring at you with those pained, jade eyes.

There is so much I want to tell you...But I am a coward, love. A brittle, selfish man trying to cling to whatever he can in the time he has.

V had tried to warm you, hadn’t he? Peppered all through your conversations, warning you away from what he knew made up Vergil’s mind and consciousness. If the poet saw Vergil in such a negative light...did the son of Sparda see himself that way too?

Does he...secretly hate himself?

But the chance to think into it more never came. Before you even had the chance to raise your head, the platform you were both suspended on began to rumble, making Vergil growl and your head snap back up. The Void was starting to shift around you, pieces of debris moving and attaching together over your head and on the platform itself. There were items suspended on them, ones curious in nature--a bed with dark colored sheets, whale-oil filled, glowing lanterns. Things certainly not from the world Vergil came from, but ones from various others.

The masses formed a more coherent space area around you, full of jagged stone and mysterious carvings that you could read as a follower of this particular Deity. With it came the quickening whispers all around, hushed voices rising in their tempo as a low hum of energy made the air vibrate ominously.

He had finally decided to show his face, hadn’t he?

Vergil was quicker to act than you, yanking your limp form up and into a standing position with one fluid movement--you legs felt so weak, you were lucky they didn’t immediately give out. He was clearly still on edge, teeth grit and face a mask of tense anger and frustration that did not diminish.

You couldn’t blame him for being mad--this whole situation was brought about by the Deity’s actions, a lot more than he could even comprehend. Had the God not sent you to their dimension to begin with...Vergil would have awakened as planned, unburdened by his feelings for you and going about life how he should have. All this turmoil had you at its center, eye of the storm placed by the Deity’s hands.

But...that hardly mattered right now.

Shards of black crystal swirled overhead in an ominous cloud, traveling around your form and bringing an even heavier chill to the air. You flinched when the presence sent your hair lifting a bit, eyes going wide as the cloud hovered on a piece of debris ahead and began taking on a physical shape. One of a man, tall and lean in his silhouette. This was exactly what you had hoped to avoid--this was way too close to feeling like a child, about to be scolded by their angry parent. After those four months of silence, what else could you expect to get here? Certainly not anything good, despite how little you knew about his intentions. Instinctively you took a step back, head bowing and body stiff as a board--because despite the fact that the Deity had wronged you, he had also left you alone with your powers without trying to take them.

And you would rather not stand defiant in the face of something like him.

Vergil did not like your act of submission. He took a step forward, placing himself partially in front of your body and putting an arm out as a means to hold you back. He didn’t have his Yamato on him, did he? It was still sitting precariously on the ground several feet away, left abandoned when the incident happened. Vergil didn’t seem hindered without it; his expression had gone cold and calculated again, eyes icy and filled with intense distrust and displeasure.

Comparatively to you, he had zero connection to such a powerful being, and akin to Dante he must have known better than to trust something so enigmatic in nature. One who stood between all things, a creature of neither good nor evil. He truly was like his brother in this case, steadfast with no fear in those icy blue eyes, the wind disturbing his slicked back hair only slightly and seemingly like a pillar of strength in the situation grasping you both.

But you knew better. He was still uncertain of himself.

He watched as the Deity finally took form, steadfast and muscles tensed like a cobra ready to strike at any time. You hated how fearful facing the god made you feel, waiting with baited breath for him to take that strange image you were always used to seeing--one of mystery, a blank slate of memories that never stayed consistent. How could you read a man when your head could never comprehend his face? That alone should have told you not to trust the God from the beginning, the very fact that he never seemed to allow your eyes to take in his whole image. The black crystal was clustering into his shape, merging together like water and hardening itself.

But...something was different this time. Slower.

You and Vergil watched his body start to materialize, starting with the boots all the way up to the black hair on his head. Like the shimmering of glass, his body took shape in a wave of crystal as he--wait.

His hair. His hair was black.

Your eyes opened wider in shock, realizing that for once in your years of serving him that you had remembered his hair color without confusion. It was visible, it wasn’t scattered and confusing--You were seeing him, and your brain was not fuzzing it out. No more static, no more warping, no more confusion on his description.

Your heart started to pound faster and faster, shock and confusion entering the chorus of emotions spinning around your skull, unable to tear your eyes away as each part of him came into existence, all the way down to the face you had seen so many times without truly gazing upon it--and that alone was enough to tell you how unprepared you were for this situation, how unpredictable the Deity’s intentions were. To show you this now, after so many years of holding it back--To truly see him for once, unfiltered and clear as the sky on a summer day...it was unbelievable, and it made your legs feel like they were about to fold under you.

You were seeing the God, all of him without filter.

The Deity was smiling lightly when he finally took shape, black eyes meeting yours over Vergil’s shoulder. His clothing was older in design, high-collared and dark grey from his coat to the slacks on his legs. Being able to make out his face felt odd, wrong in a way. All these years of staring at something you could never comprehend, to now gaze upon him with clear eyes was...unsettling. Even more so when he looked almost normal, human, the black eyes and overwhelming presence the only indication that something was amiss.

The god was handsome, with high cheekbones and tired eyes, like he hadn’t tasted sleep in all his years of existence. Standing poised, hands clasped behind his back and legs slightly parted in a stance that spoke of confidence, of a man who had his pieces laid out on the table and ready to fall into place. That expression he wore sent a twinge of nervousness down your spine, like staring at a smug cat finally about to get his cream.

What is he planning?

Why did he bring us here?

What can we do?

“It has been quite some time, has it not?” The Deity said in low greeting, slowly tipping his head to one side and leveling his gaze on you, “Y/N. I have missed you, child of mine.”

Cue your immediate panic, mouth half opening but no words coming out. What were you supposed to say to him after all this time? Nothing could come out, none of it. Anger, betrayal, fear. There were so many emotions he stirred, which could stick?

Luckily, you had time to think on it. Vergil spoke before you, his tone whipping out sharply like a javelin as he pushed you further back.

“What is the meaning of this?” His eyes did not waver, even under the scrutiny of a God. That black gaze slowly slid over to him instead, that amusement not fading even when Vergil continued in a low growl, “State your business and be done with it--we aren’t here to indulge in your games.”

The Deity gave no indication of anger, merely shifting lightly on his feet and taking a few measured steps around where you and Vergil stood--circling like a predator stalking prey.

Bad bad bad. Don’t look at him like that--with so much interest.

“You are Vergil, son of Sparda and Eva,” He remarked, trailing his dark vision over the man in question with a bit of a smirk on his lips. One step, then another. Vergil turned with him, refusing to remove his eyes from the God and shifting you with him, “A power hungry half-breed who has caused the death of countless in his pursuit of self-gain. To wallow in self-pity so deep, you have surely began to drown.”

Vergil’s shoulder’s visibly tensed at his words, brow furrowing in a sharp look of annoyance. You didn’t like the Deity’s words either, like the Deity had some sort of malice against the son of Sparda. Vergil may have wronged you, but...there was no trust left for the Deity, not after all that had transpired between you both. You didn’t want him anywhere near the half-demon, and whatever he had planned was not to pass.

“Don’t waste my time with such useless prattle. I’m not here to be judged by the likes of you.” Vergil stated flatly, unimpressed by the God’s calmly-spoken statements. His words earned him a raised brow, that poised smile twitching only slightly with...impatience? Anger? There was no way to be sure, not with how little you knew of the Deity’s facial expressions.

Vergil definitely wasn’t making things better by giving so much attitude. You wished he wasn’t like Dante, but the two were unfortunately similar--what did he serve to gain by insulting a higher being when they were stuck in his domain?

It spelled out a bad situation, one that you would not be able to save him from.

Do something. Anything.

You stepped out from behind Vergil, forcing your hands to stop shaking and making the God’s eyes shift back to you. They immediately lightened with interest, that smile turning into something akin to a grin, one that was almost affectionate. Like...he expected this of you.

Remain steadfast, without fear.

“No more games,” You said softly, finding it hard to keep your voice as strong and calm as you wanted it to be. It had been so long since you addressed the creature before you, so long since you stood in this place and begged for anything. You thought it was beyond you, a time long past in your life, but...drastic measures had to be taken now, especially with the son of Sparda dragged into it, “Please. This does not involve him. If you want to speak to me, if you wish to punish me, just let Vergil leave and be done with it. I beg this of you.”

Please. Don’t bring anymore interference to his life. I’ve done enough damage already.

Vergil let out a sharp hiss at your declaration, anger flashing in his eyes as he started to protest, “You will so no such thing…!”

His concern was still surprising, especially when it was that vehement. But...as it stood, he was the only thing that remained from the poet you loved, as scattered and unrecognizable as he seemed. You would be damned before letting anything happen to him, no matter how cruel the man had been to you. It would hurt, it would be frightening, but it was a risk you were willing to take if it meant preserving the last bit of V that was left behind. He was a bastard, but...this was all you could do, and it was your interference that caused all the madness to begin with.

But the Deity had other plans in mind, ones that you did not expect.

He tilted his head again, slowly raising a hand in your direction and making you flinch despite how slow the motion was. His expression was still that impassive smile, one that you could not read at all and those black eyes so deep you felt like they were trying to drown you. For a moment...was that hesitation that flickered there in the inky blackness? A worry, or maybe disappointment? Like he was feeling a bit regretful about something he had done, or was about to do.

All that he does, The Void whispered in your ear, startling you thoroughly and making your shoulders jolt, He does for you. Never doubt how blessed you are to having the graces of the black-eyed God.

What? What the hell did that mean?

“Contrary, my child,” The God in question said softly, tone so calm and tranquil it scared you--it still managed to cut Vergil off despite how quiet it was. And that alone was enough to make you freeze in place, “You are only one providing interruptions--haven’t I taught you not to speak out of turn?”

You had made a mistake.

The moment his fingers twitched agony erupted in all of your limbs, making your back bow and tendrils crack out of your from. Cold, burning, freezing all at once, causing you to fall to your knees and sealing a silent scream in your throat. It hurts it hurts it hurts-- it was akin to how it felt when the Foresight rebelled against you, but somehow worse. The tendrils wrapped around your arms and legs, snaking their way to your waist and throat and holding you down through the thrashing and struggling. It all happened so fast, your brain blanked out, unable to comprehend that level of suffering all at once and panicking now that Vergil was no longer in your field of view. What had you done? Not like this, please don’t subdue me again, not like that time in the tree. Please don’t make me relive that again.

Why? Why was the God doing this to you, after all you had done to serve him? Tears stung your eyes, which were now turning black with your level of panic and stinging terribly with the pain.

And worse--Before you could scrape any pleas from your clenched throat, each sense disappeared one by one. Hearing, seeing, touch. You went from thrashing in agony to absolutely limp, now floating in a sea of nothingness with no idea what had happened. To have all of one’s senses ripped away, to have no control at all...it was maddening, bringing forth tears that you could no longer feel from your eyes.

This is worse--this is worse!

I’d rather the pain.

I’d rather suffer than feel nothing.

Every sense suddenly cut out, but your consciousness remained. Unable to see, hear, or feel anything with your mind screaming in terror and disbelief. Pain was one thing, to be suspended in absolute darkness with your consciousness still wide awake was another. Was he going to erase your memories? How long would you be subdued? There was no room to struggle, to scream, to cry. All that you could do was try to control your panicking thoughts, mentally begging the being to release you and promising submission if he would just let Vergil go. Doubts aside, inconsistencies too, you couldn’t afford taking any chances based on useless theorizing anymore. You were trapped, leaving Vergil at the whims of a God who had zero predictability.

And that was what frightened you most of all.

(Vergil POV)

What had the God done to you?

Vergil was forced to watch in shock and horror was your body collapsed, tendrils snapping into the ground and lifting you up on a pillar of black crystal. He tried to reach out and catch you when you fell, but the tendrils lashed out and slashed at his jacket, knocking him away while your mouth opened in a silent scream. You went absolutely slack as soon as the crystal formed around your arms, waist, and legs while the God watched on with a calm expression, smile fading a bit into something a little more reserved. What had he done? What had he fucking done to you? Vergil scrambled back up, huffing and panting as he took in your face. Eyes black now, wide open with shock and face now blank--there was no movement from your body, no indication that you were even alive.

And that was enough to send him spiraling back into that dark place, one on the very edge of rage.

No no no! The voice cried, banging on his consciousness like fists on steel doors, unrelenting, Do something! DO SOMETHING!

He bolted back to your side, hands grasping your prone face in his fingers with a sense of desperation that still startled him. Your lips were parted, shallow breaths leaving them--lips he had kissed just moments ago. They had kissed you, the very knowledge of it was still shocking, jarring, like another life had occurred in a moment. He and the voice inside had aligned at your callous words, losing control in a snap of heated tension and broken barriers. Your reaction had been daggers in his heart--both hearts. It was painfully clear who that voice was, Vergil had just been too stubborn to accept it. Loud, arrogant, furious and so in love with you...it would make sense that the poet would remain after how strong you made him, after all.

V was still here.

He was appalled by the state of you, filled with worry and despair as they both watched whale oil start to drip from your eyes like tears. And worse, there was nothing he could do to help you--Vergil knew that, knew trying was pointless. The God had you enveloped in crystal like his fist, gripping you in a tight and infallible vise. Vergil lifted his cold, panicked eyes from you to stare down the being, feeling his anger coil tighter and prepare itself to snap. The closest thing Vergil had ever fought to a god had been Mundus, a battle that had ended in failure of the worst kind. The defeat was still bitter on his tongue, a harsh reminder of his past mistakes that would never leave. But this treatment of you was unacceptable--you were not a plaything, not a pawn for him to manipulate as he pleased.

Vergil contemplated making a mad dash for the Yamato, despite how ineffective he knew it would be. This was the God’s domain, his place of power. He might as well be painfully human in the Void.

The God seemed to sense his thoughts, clicking his tongue lightly and teleporting over to the sword in question. As Vegril watched with wide eyes, he plucked the blade up with delicate fingers, earning an immediate reaction. The blade hissed with steam, rising up from the god’s hands as the energy within burned and fought back against the foreign holder. There was no change from him, not even a hint of pain in those black eyes of his as he turned to face Vergil once more.

“Your weapon is filled with your father’s essence,” He remarked, tilting that black gaze over to Vergil as he slowly walked closer, “His energy never did agree with mine.”

“What have you done to her?!” Vergil hissed, ignoring the man’s comments entirely and hating how his pale, disgusting hands were on the Yamato. This was all going absolutely wrong, he didn’t know what to do to save you. Akin to that day all those months ago, when you had collapsed in the apartment bathroom after healing V to the best of your capabilities--he was left stricken, staring at you in a state of panic and horror with his hands practically tied behind his back.

Helpless. We are helpless as always, just like when we were young.

The Deity smiled, like Vergil’s response somehow pleased him. After weighing the sword a few more seconds, he tossed it back to the Sparda quite unceremoniously. Vergil caught it with deft fingers, immediately whipping it out to point it at the unfazed creature like his threats actually held any weight.

They didn’t, of course.

“Worry not,” He said calmly, teleporting over to a nearby piece of debris and sitting down on it in a leisurely fashion, like they were two friends discussing the weather, “I have merely subdued her for the time being--she can neither see nor hear us, which leaves time to discuss a proposition I have for you.”

Proposition?

The Deity smiled, immediately seeing Vergil’s expression of absolute disgust and mistrust. He knew damn well making any sort of deal with a God was a bad idea, especially a god like this. A trickster, a player of games and manipulator of human souls. There was no doubt he had ill intentions in mind, especially with a coy expression like that. He chuckled, splaying his arms out wide as he met Vergil’s dark gaze with an equally unwavering one of his own--because he knew, it in the end, he had the Sparda in a bind, right where he wanted him. Cornered with no way out, torn between his nature and doing whatever it would take to defend you from this creature.

And being cornered was something he did not like.

“No need to look so crass,” He hummed, seeming positively amused by the whole situation as he continued, “I will give you the gift of knowing my name--my true name, and I will propose to you a challenge you would be reluctant to refuse.”

A challenge that he had no choice but to accept.

Vergil curled his lip, putting himself in front of your poised form and raising the sword again, “And what is the alternative if I refuse?”

The black-eyed bastard tilted his head to one side, lips still curved in that bemused smile as he lowered his arms back down and rested his hands on his lap.

“It seems to me that you already hope to refuse,” He observed, standing up again and taking a few slow, measured steps toward the volatile half demon. The Yamato was of no consequence to him, clearly, “You should hear what I have to offer first before you jump to such conclusions, son of Sparda.”

“I am no fool, I know better than to make deals with Gods like you,” Vergil immediately snapped in reply, brow furrowed in fury as he held the Deity’s patient gaze, “But you might as well tell me your name, so I’ll know what to write on your grave.”

Cocky, you are too cocky--The voice in his head was frantic, filled with panic and anger as Vergil stared down the calm god--He will kill you, there is no chance of beating this man…!

That only made the Deity smile, like he could somehow sense the turmoil rolling around in the other man’s head. Vergil didn’t appreciate how confident he was, nor did he like the stakes at play. If the God chose to trap him in the Void for a period of time, how could he hope to get out? If the being so decided it, he could disappear and leave him to wander alone for a century, maybe longer. Would he age in a place like this? Though he could stay in Sin Devil Trigger form as long as possible, but that would not hold for long. There was too much stacked against him, and the reality of it put a bitter taste in his mouth.

To submit was something he hated above all things, but...He looked back at your face, still glassy-eyed and staring up at the non-existent sky. He could sense your fear and panic when all this happened, could feel you reaching out for him when you were forced down into submission. He couldn’t leave you behind, not again, not after everything you both had been through. He had a duty to see this through, and there would be no leaving the Void without you in his arms.

Yes, The voice--no, V--sounded pleased in his head, tone low and filled with adoration as he saw you through Vergil’s eyes, No more hurting her, not again. Please...I know it is hard to swallow your pride, but we must try...she would do the same for you.

For once...they were both in alignment.

“I see you’ve made your choice,” The Deity observed, making Vergil dart his gaze back to the black-eyed bastard as he clasped his hands behind his back again. There was a smug air about him, a pleased one. He should have been spouting peacock feathers with a face like that, “There is some common sense in your head after all.”

Dont. Don’t reply to that--he isn’t worthy of it.

Vergil grit his teeth, quite literally swallowing his pride and biting down on whatever retort was trying to make its way past his lips. If he was to be forced against the wall, he would play the Deity’s games, consequences be damned. Because the sooner he won, the sooner he could get you home to safety.

And from there...well. He was sure V would come up with something.

“Your name.” Vergil said shortly, tone clipped and anger as he sheathed the Yamato once more. He was tired of this prattle, and wanted to get on to this deal the being apparently wanted to make.

The God let out a low hum, turning away to look out at the Void and all its enigmatic glories as they floated by. A whale carcass, what looked to be a metal carriage, a marble statue. Like a world had shattered to pieces and scattered itself in the vast emptiness, but none of it felt familiar to his own world. What could have birthed a place like this, or worse, a creature like the nameless one before him? How did people come to worship a god who aligned himself with nothing but the cold and the dark? He remembered your pain, the nightmares that plagued you at night to make you relive the traumas of your past. A soft thing, one who was desperately kind and filled with wanting--that made it very obvious, did it not?

This man took advantage of those who had no other way out, in the deepest pits of despair. He sensed their longing, their pain, and turned it into his power.

“I have been called many names,” The black eyed bastard finally replied, stepping onto a floating piece of debris so he could run his hand over the runes written there. They looked ancient, unfamiliar, not in any language Vergil recognized, “The men of the Abbey call me the Devil, others call me the mighty Leviathan.”

He turned, leveling the Sparda with his deep, endless gaze as that smirk curved his lips once more.

“You may call me…The Outsider.”

Outsider? Vergil gripped the handle of his Yamato, feeling even more unnerved when he realized how unfamiliar he was with this being. Of all the tomes and legends he had read, not one had mentioned a creature like this one...had they? He was racking his brain, trying to remember any lines of dialog that matched the Outsider’s description, or any of his names. Only one even remotely close came to mind, one he read in a library in his brief passing through an abandoned city.

He hadn’t paid it much attention due to it not mentioning Sparda in the slightest, but the words on the yellow-stained page had seemingly stuck with him for a while now, hidden in his subconscious. Words depicting a traveler that jumped through the dark, one who seemingly had mysterious powers from a Leviathan who lived in the space between spaces. A tired man, serving a God who no one understood and disappearing just as fast.

Those who bear his mark earn his power.

He could remember a marking on you, right over your hip bone on the right side. A black mark, almost runic in nature--that had been his, hadn’t it?

“Outsider,” Vergil growled, patience waning faster if it wasn’t already gone, “State your business or be done with it.”

That made the God chuckle, hopping down from the debris where he hovered lightly in air, sitting on nothing and crossing his legs, “You are a man seeking power, are you not?” He tipped his head to the side, regarding Vergil with an unreadable gaze and that flat smile as he continued, “If there is anything I can provide you, it is such a thing--I can give you a prize of your choosing, make you as strong as Sparda himself if you can pass the trials I have laid out for you.”

Vergil didn’t like the sound of this. When things seemed too good to be true, they generally were. But that deep, aching, yearning part of him that wanted to be strong, wanted to be past the defeat always plaguing him…

Don’t, V whispered, voice pleading and soft, Please--this is not what she wants.

He knew that. He did. But what more could be done now? A prize of his choosing, right?

What the God could provide was limitless, full of opportunity he didn’t otherwise have. Vergil found his eyes sliding over to you again, still immobilized on the pillar of crystal with no idea what was happening between them. There were cards that needed to be played here, and now the game was his to manipulate as he saw fit--not just for him, but for you as well.

Vergil felt strange...for once in his life, he felt like there was something beyond power to gain, something that would no longer burden you both. Your pain was not lost on him, a constant source of guilt that made his entire heart and being ache terribly. Every memory, every heartbeat, every touch...he was never deserving of you, never. You were made of good things, kindness and light compared to the shadow he had always lived in. How long had he lived only thinking for himself, full of selfish desires and that hunger for power? And all that had come from it was defeat, anger, pain, trauma. You had been the only light in his life for such a long time, showing his human half a love that had strengthened him. He had spat in the face of that kindness, breaking you down to nothing and hurting you in the worst possible way. Could someone such as him ever truly make you happy, especially with the things about himself he could not change.

He could never be vulnerable with you as V could. Never open himself to affection, soothe you when needed, be soft and gentle with your heart that was already broken.

But something still existed that could.

Vergil…?

If I’m going to do right by someone, for once in my life...it has to be her. Her and no one else.

“I’m listening.”

The Outsider chuckled, teleporting down to stand in front of Vergil again and crossing his arms over his chest. This was exactly what the God wanted to hear--there was a hint of glee in those black eyes of his, as if he sensed the very line of thought Vergil possessed.

“Three trials, to see if you are truly strong enough to handle what power I can give you,” He stated, smile fading a bit to something a bit more serious and cold as he met Vergil’s eyes, “If you should succeed, I will give you whatever it is you desire. But should you succumb to my trials…”

There will be punishment. There was no missing the implications in his tone.

“...So be it,” Vergil replied with a slow breath, resigning himself to whatever fate the God had planned, “What will the punishment be if I should fail?”

We cannot afford to fail, V muttered, sounding anxious and annoyed with all that was laid out before them, Not now, not here.

The Outsider took a step closer to Vergil, his black-eyed stare tilting to the side so he could gaze at your stricken form. There was something akin to sadness in his eyes, almost...fatherly when he stared at your face and reached out a hand to touch you. Vergil wasn’t having that, grabbing the god’s wrist and halting him in place. Touching him was like asking for frostbite, but he couldn’t care less--there would be no approaching your form with those cold hands, not now, not ever. The Outsider was a source of your trauma and pain, so the son of Sparda was already uneasy about all the God’s actions in regards to you.

The Outsider clicked his tongue at Vergil’s firm intervention, pulling his arm back with the smirk replacing the look on his face.

“If you should fail,” He finally continued, keeping his stare on your blank face, “She will return to the Void from whence she came, memory erased so I can send her along on a new task without distraction. And you,” He tilted his gaze back, expression turning cold as he hissed, “Will be plunged into the Void, where you will suffer for every crime you have committed in your miserable existence.”

What?!

No no no.

He can’t take her, can’t erase her! He--

“Why her?!” Vergil protested, mind aligning with V again and taking on a hint of desperation, “Why punish her for my failings? She has a home in Fortuna, allow her to return to it and do what you will with me…!”

The Outsider clicked his tongue, shrugging off Vergil’s hand when it tried to grab his shoulder to hold him still, “She is not without fault--those trials will be accompanied by her, so you’ll do your best not to fail, won’t you?”

God damn it. God DAMN It.

If he couldn’t handle what the deity had in mind, you would be another person he could not protect, doomed to continue this endless cycle of pain that had consumed your life for so long. All the happiness you found, the family, the hope...all destroyed in an instant and leaving you back in that mindset you had in the beginning. He may have been deserving of punishment, but you...all that you had done was become a victim to the whims of others, and that was not fair. Not to you, not to the ones who loved you in Fortuna. He could accept his fate--he had spent time trapped before, in the body of Nelo Angelo and in hell. Blood was on his hands, all the humans lost in the city from his mistake of the Qliphoth tree.

The guilt from his long life of selfish actions had finally caught up with him--of fate decided he belonged in the darkness and cold for his foolish mistakes...then so be it.

He could swallow his own trauma and accept his fate. But yours...what else could he do? There was no refusing, and no way out. These were the whims of a God, one who could not and would not be challenged in his own domain. Vergil had to bite his tongue and steel himself to take on whatever this creature had planned. As long as he had the sword, he could fight until he was bleeding on the ground.

A son of Sparda would be damned before they bowed in submission to a being like this.

“So be it.” He replied, squeezing the hilt of the Yamato so hard his knuckles turned white and meeting the Outsider’s endless eyes. The resolve there seemed to please a God, earning Vergil a dark smile that spoke volumes of what was in store for him.

“Good luck, Vergil Sparda,” He replied in a low tone, his eyes flickering over to you as his body started to turn in to black crystal again, “I pray to the Void that, for her sake, you succeed in what I have in store for you.”

With that, he was gone. Disappearing into nothingness and leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

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