#and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired
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lovetaroandtaemin · 10 hours ago
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Cosmic Connection
Boo Seungkwan x Reader
Word Count: 4,725
Genre: Fluff, smut, angst, non idol AU, alien AU
Rating: Explicit, MINORS DNI!
Summary: While you're initially very uncomfortable around your new coworker, your feelings quickly shift after running into him at a mutual friend's party. The only problem is that you don't know if he wants the same things that you do.
Content Warnings: Seungkwan is an alien! This is your monsterfucking warning!! Unwanted flirting at a party (not from Seungkwan), some alcohol use, soft dom!Seungkwan, unprotected sex, creampie, praise kink, oral (f recieving), he spits in her mouth, multiple sex scenes, they're fucking idiots your honor, miscommunications, awkward moments. If you think I missed a warning, please let me know!
A/N: This fic was a (slightly late) birthday gift for the absolutely amazing Booki, aka @kwanisms! You're genuinely one of my favorite writers on this hellsite, and I'm really happy that we're friends!!! I hope that your birthday was as awesome as you are! Sorry about the fic being a few days late.
I also want to quickly acknowledge the lovely @gyubakeries and @hyperbolicheart for their help in the brainstorming process and listening to me yap during the writing process! I love y'all <3
Taglist: @xomakara, @notyourjaem, @heechwe, @shadowkoo
Fic is under the cut.
You knew that something weird was going to happen the moment your boss introduced you to the newest member of your department, Seungkwan. For the most part, he was a normal guy, if a bit shy, so at first, you had nothing to back up the feeling of unease in your gut that started the moment you laid eyes on him.
And then you actually talked to him.
“Hi, welcome to the team! I’m (Y/N),” you said, reaching your hand out for him to shake.
“Why is your hand out?” he asked, looking at you like you’d done something offensive.
“I’m offering a handshake,” you answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because in your mind, it was.
He responded by saying, “Oh, ok,” but he made no move to shake your hand. He just stared at you, and that was when you noticed that his eyes seemed to have star shaped pupils. The sight struck you as odd, but you tried to write it off, assuming he was just wearing weird contacts.
There was an awkward silence after that, so you brought your arm back to your side and said, “Well, I hope you have a good day.”
“Thanks. You too,” he responded, but every word sounded far too rehearsed. You were still a little bit suspicious of him, but in the end, you figured he was just nervous about starting a new job. So, you went about the rest of your day, ignoring your new coworker.
Seungkwan was attracted to you from the moment that he laid eyes on you. He didn’t quite know what it was about you, but he really wanted to get to know you better. Of course, based on how uncomfortable you looked after he introduced himself, he was pretty sure that he’d fucked that up irreparably. So, he decided to just give you some space.
Working with Seungkwan was far more awkward than you’d originally expected. Sure, you knew that the two of you probably wouldn’t be best friends, but every time you tried to talk to him, he acted weird in some way. If it wasn’t something that he said, it was something that he did.
For the most part, you could ignore the jokes that you honestly weren’t entirely sure were jokes. But the way he acted around you was odd, to say the least. Every time you looked at him, he turned away from you like he hoped that he’d disappear if you kept looking. Sometimes, you tried to approach him, and he ran the other way. Not walked. Ran. Like he was trying to get away from a serial killer. You had no idea what the fuck to do in those situations.
So, in the end, you decided to just not talk to him.
Unlike your expectations, you started to warm up to Seungkwan after you ran into him at your friend Soonyoung’s birthday party. Shortly after you arrived, Seokmin, another friend, approached you and asked, “Have you seen Seungkwan?”
“No, I haven’t. Why?”
“He showed up, got into an argument, then disappeared. We figured you might know where he went.”
“Why would I know where he is? We don’t even interact outside of work.”
“But he said- oh, nevermind. I’ll keep looking for him. Thanks.”
“What did he say?” you asked, but before you knew it, Seokmin was gone.
After the slightly strange interaction with Seokmin, you struggled to enjoy the party. You didn’t want to leave though, since you’d been looking forward to celebrating Soonyoung’s birthday with him for weeks. So, you choked back your discomfort and tried to focus on having a good time.
While you talked to your friends and enjoyed the many snacks that Soonyoung and your other friends had prepared for the party, you found yourself looking for Seungkwan. You had no clue why, though, since you really didn’t want to see him. In the end, you figured it was probably because Seokmin had asked about him. Still, you didn’t wanna worry about your coworker anymore that night.
At some point during the party, you were dancing with a few of your friends when you heard an unfamiliar voice calling your name.
You turned around to see a man you didn’t recognize in front of you, and you said, “Hi. Sorry, but you don’t look familiar.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m Mingyu. We work in the same office.”
“Oh, right! Sorry I didn’t recognize you. How are you doing?”
“Better now that I’m talking to you.”
You cringed at the cheesy attempt at flirting, but you still tried to make small talk. Every one of your attempts was met with a similar response, though, and after a while, you started to get uncomfortable. Not wanting the conversation to go on anymore, you said, “Well, it was nice to see you, but I have to go now.”
“Where are you going?
“None of your business,” a third voice said. You turned to see who it was, and you saw Seungkwan glaring at Mingyu. He was so angry; you could have sworn that his eyes had turned red.
“Who are you?” Mingyu asked.
“Her boyfriend,” Seungkwan answered, grabbing your hand. You weren’t exactly thrilled that Seungkwan was lying about being your boyfriend, but you knew that it would get Mingyu to leave you alone. So, you didn’t say anything.
Mingyu immediately walked away, and you let go of Seungkwan’s hand before you turned to him and said, “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Both of you were silent for a minute before you asked, “Do you wanna dance?”
“Sure. That sounds nice.”
With that, you and Seungkwan started to dance together, and you felt just a little bit less uncomfortable around him. It took a bit longer than you would have liked to find a groove, so to speak, but once you did, you found yourself actually having fun with your awkward new coworker.
After Soonyoung’s party, you felt a lot more comfortable around Seungkwan. Sure, you still felt anxious around him, but it was a different feeling than before. Instead of the dread that used to fill the pit of your stomach when you saw him, you felt a kind of giddy nervousness instead. It was almost like you were attracted to him, but there was no way in hell that was possible.
At least, that was what you thought at the time.
A few weeks after the party, Seungkwan approached you at work with shaky hands and a soft smile on his face and asked, “Hey, do you wanna get dinner with me and a few other people after work?”
“That sounds great. Who else is going?”
“Seokmin, Soonyoung, and their girlfriends.”
“Are you asking me on a group date, ‘Kwan?”
“I mean, maybe,” he mumbled, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks.
You softened when you realized how nervous he was and said, “That sounds great. Where are we meeting?” Seungkwan gave you the name of a local restaurant, and you said, “I can’t wait.”
“Me neither.”
The rest of your day went by shockingly slowly, since you were so anxious to go out with Seungkwan. When the time finally came, you could hardly contain your excitement. So, as soon as your shift ended, you clocked out and drove to the restaurant that he’d mentioned earlier.
When you arrived at the restaurant, Seungkwan was standing outside waiting for you. When he finally noticed you, he smiled and said, “Hi! I’m really happy you could make it.”
“I really appreciate you inviting me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been here before.”
“I haven’t. Seokmin recommended this place. He said it had the right vibes. Not quite sure what he meant, but it’s a really nice place.” There was a brief moment of silence before he added, “Are you ready to go in?” You nodded, and he took your hand before leading you into the restaurant.
Once you were inside and seated, Seokmin looked at you and Seungkwan and gave you a knowing smile. You wanted to ask him why he was so happy, but you didn’t have time before Soonyoung glared at Seungkwan and said, “Come on, man. We talked about this.”
“Talked about what?” Seungkwan asked, though you knew from the tone in his voice that he knew exactly what Soonyoung was referring to.
You didn’t, however, so you asked, “What’s going on?”
“He knows,” Soonyoung answered flatly.
You turned to Seungkwan with a puzzled look on your face, and he said, “Sorry.” His apology left you even more confused, but you decided not to worry about it too much. You could just ask Seungkwan about it after you left the restaurant.
The rest of the dinner was pretty boring, if you were being honest with yourself. Still, you appreciated the time with Seungkwan and your friends. The conversations were funny, the food was delicious, and the restaurant’s atmosphere was warm and welcoming.
Over the course of the dinner, though, you noticed Seungkwan getting increasingly touchy with you. It started with him holding your hand whenever he wasn’t actively eating, but after a while, it escalated to his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on your skin. You hated to admit it, but the gesture turned you on quite a bit.
By the time your meal was finished, and it was time for you to go, you were desperate. When Soonyoung and Seokmin weren’t paying attention, you whispered in Seungkwan’s ear, “Do you wanna go back to my place?”
“That sounds great.”
And with that, everyone was ready to go.
After you left the restaurant, you drove Seungkwan back to your apartment. The entire time you drove, his hand was on your thigh, slowly creeping closer to where you wanted him most as you got closer to your destination. When you finally pulled up at your apartment, he said, “You alright?”
“Yeah. Can we just go inside, please?” you asked, hoping that your embarrassing desperation wasn’t obvious.
Once you were inside, he pulled you close and kissed you, holding you like you’d disappear if he let go of you. When you pulled away from the kiss and looked up into his eyes again, you were surprised that the color seemed to have shifted. Whereas they were typically pale green, the irises now looked to be soft pink. The star shaped pupils remained, though, a feature of his that you’d grown to love. With a hushed voice, you asked, “What’s going on with your eyes?”
Seungkwan sighed like he was struggling to decide whether he should tell you before he said, “They change color based on how I’m feeling.”
“Where the fuck did you get contacts like that?” you asked, shocked by his answer.
There was a moment of incredibly awkward silence before Seungkwan answered, “They’re not contacts. They’re just my eyes.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that my eyes are just like that. My species-”
“Species?”
“Yes. Species,” he said. He paused for a moment before he added, “I’m not human.”
“Then what are you?”
“Well, the specifics are far too detailed to get into right now, but let’s just say I’m not from this planet.”
Holy shit. You were just making out with an alien.
In any other situation, you would have been terrified of the idea that you were speaking with someone from another planet. But because you were with Seungkwan, and far more turned on than you had any right to be in that moment because of how he’d treated you at the restaurant and on the way back to your apartment, you couldn’t help but feel excited by the idea.
You must have gotten lost in your thoughts, because the next thing you knew, Seungkwan let go of you and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“’Kwan, the only thing you need to apologize for is not fucking me already.”
A smirk appeared on Seungkwan’s face before he said, “Well how can I make it up to you, starlight?”
“Please just touch me.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Please?”
His eyes shifted to a darker shade of pink as he said, “Gladly.”
Seungkwan started to kiss your neck, biting down occasionally. Every touch made your head spin, and you almost forgot the other question that you wanted to ask him. In between soft moans that slipped out every so often, you asked, “What does the pink mean?”
“What pink?” he asked, looking up at you.
“Your eyes. You said they change color depending on your mood. Right now, they’re bright fucking pink. What does that mean?”
“Pink indicates arousal,” he answered matter-of-factly before going back to marking your neck. You shuddered at his words, more turned on than you wanted to admit by both the intensity of his gaze and of the color of his eyes.
“Fuck,” you groaned. “Want more. Please.”
“What do you want, starlight?”
“Want you to fuck me.”
“Are you sure?”
You nodded and said, “Please?”
“Are you completely sure?” he asked. You nodded, and he said, “If you change your mind, you need to tell me.”
“I will, promise.”
“Good girl.” There was a brief silence before he asked, “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Follow me,” you said, taking his hand and practically dragging him to your room.
Once you were there, he smiled at you and said, “Strip for me, starlight.”
You did as you were told, watching Seungkwan rid himself of his own clothing. As you watched him undress, you couldn’t help but notice that, aside from his eyes, he looked strikingly human. At least, he did until he took his pants off.
That’s when you realized that his cock was bright blue and bigger than any that you’d ever seen before. The idea of that going into you was a little unnerving, if you were being honest with yourself, but it was also thrilling. You wanted, no, needed him to fuck you as soon as possible.
You must have been staring, because Seungkwan let out a soft laugh and asked, “So, do you like what you see?” You nodded in response, too turned on to speak properly. “Words, starlight.”
“Yeah, I do,” you choked out. “’s big.”
“Do you think you can take it?” he asked with a soft smile on his face and a teasing tone in his voice. You nodded, and he said, “We just talked about this. Use your words, or everything stops here.”
“I can take it. Please just fuck me,” you begged.
Before you could even process what had happened, you were pinned to your bed, and Seungkwan was aligning his tip with your entrance. Before he actually slid into you, however, he looked into your eyes and said, “Open your mouth.”
You did as you were told, and you felt a small amount of saliva fall into your mouth. The seemingly small gesture ordinarily wouldn’t turn you on, but because you were with Seungkwan, the action only made you more desperate for him to fuck you, if that was even possible.
After you swallowed, Seungkwan asked, “Are you absolutely sure you wanna do this? I won’t be upset if you changed your mind.”
“Seungkwan, if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m gonna break your dick off and use it as a dildo.”
With no further questions, he slowly moved his hips forward, and you grabbed onto his shoulders as a loud moan left your lips. After a brief moment of stillness to allow you to adjust to his size, he started to slowly move in and out of you. Loud whines slipped out as he fucked you, and you couldn’t help but notice the pink in his eyes getting just a little bit more intense as time passed.
“How does it feel, baby?” he asked.
“So good. Please don’t stop,” you begged.
“Not planning on it,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re doing so good for me, starlight.”
You moaned louder at his words, holding onto Seungkwan for dear life while he gradually increased the speed of his thrusts. As he fucked you, the sweetest moans you’d ever heard slipped out of his mouth, and every moment made you want more of him, if that was even possible.
It took a surprisingly short amount of time for Seungkwan to feel his release start to approach. He wanted to try to last a little bit longer, but when he saw the look in your eyes as he pounded into you, he knew that there was no way that was going to happen.
“Fuck, ‘m close, starlight,” he groaned. “What do you want me to do?”
“Cum inside me, please,” you begged.
That was all it took for Seungkwan to still inside of you as he reached his high, kissing you in an attempt to muffle the sounds leaving his mouth as he came undone. Once he came down from his high, he pulled out and dropped in front of you, attaching his mouth to your core. The stimulation to your clit was exactly what you needed to fall apart, screaming Seungkwan’s name as your orgasm washed over you.
While you caught your breath, Seungkwan helped you clean up and put your clothes back on. When he was sure you were comfortable, he put his own clothes back on, getting back into bed with you. Once you were both clean and comfortable again, he held you close and asked you if you were ok. You didn’t respond verbally at first, which worried him, but after a few more deep breaths, you said, “’m ok.”
“Was what we just did too much, starlight?”
“Not too much. Just a lot.”
Seungkwan laughed softly and said, “You’re so cute.” You whined in response, and he asked, “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“I’m ok.” There was a brief silence before you added, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, of course. What is it?”
“What was Soonyoung so mad about earlier?”
“What do you mean?”
“When we were at dinner, he said the two of you talked about something. When I asked him what it was, he just said, ‘he knows.’ What did you do?”
Seungkwan laughed and answered, “He saw the color of my eyes. That was his not-so-subtle way of warning me to chill earlier.”
“What color were your eyes?”
“Pink.”
“Really?”
“What can I say? I liked the dress you were wearing.”
You blushed at his words and said, “Seungkwan?”
“Yes, starlight?”
“What do purple eyes mean?”
“Are they purple right now?” he asked. You nodded, and he answered, “It means that I’m happy.”
“I’m happy too.”
“Good.”
A comfortable silence fell over the room, and you relaxed while Seungkwan held you. You didn’t mean to fall asleep, but you were so cozy, you couldn’t help yourself. When he noticed that you were asleep, he let himself relax too, falling asleep shortly after.
The next morning, you were confused as to why there was another person in your bed. Then, you heard Seungkwan’s snoring, and the events of the night before came back to you. When you thought about what had happened the night before, you found yourself getting aroused all over again, though. An unfortunate problem, but you would deal with it after Seungkwan left.
At least, that’s what you thought until you heard Seungkwan moan your name in his sleep.
With a soft voice and softer touch, you shook Seungkwan awake and asked, “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, everything is fine,” he answered sleepily.
When the two of you made eye contact, you noticed that his eyes were pink again, and you bit your lip. With a teasing tone in your voice, you asked, “Is there something on your mind?”
“What do you mean, starlight?”
“Your eyes are pink again.”
“In my defense, you’re just so fucking beautiful,” he said before he kissed you.
A soft moan slipped out when you felt Seungkwan’s lips on yours, and you tangled your hands in his hair, tugging slightly. A groan left his mouth, and you pulled away just long enough to say, “Fuck me.”
“Oh, come on, starlight,” he teased. “You can do better than that. Ask politely.”
You rolled your eyes at the request, but you still asked, “Will you pretty please fuck me?”
“Good girl. Of course I will.”
Within minutes, you were both naked again, and Seungkwan had you bent over your bed. Just like the night before, he eased into you slowly, moaning softly as he felt you wrapped around him again. He stayed still for a few minutes to avoid overwhelming you too quickly, and so that he could savor the feeling for just a little bit longer. After a bit more begging from you, though, he started to move in and out.
“Fuck. Taking me so well, starlight,” he said.
“Feels so good, ‘Kwan. Harder, please.”
Seungkwan happily obliged your request, pounding into you mercilessly while he told you what a good girl you were for him and how good you felt around him. Every word he said left you even more desperate to please him as you lost yourself in pleasure.
Just when you thought that the pleasure you were feeling couldn’t get anymore intense, Seungkwan leaned down closer to your ear and whispered, “Play with your clit for me, starlight.”
You did as you were told, loud moans leaving your mouth as the combined stimulation from your hand and his cock brought you closer to the edge. You wanted to warn Seungkwan when you started to feel your release approaching, but before you could, you came undone around him, screaming his name as you rode out your high.
Seungkwan continued to gently fuck you through your release, stilling inside of you once he reached his own high. A loud groan slipped out as his orgasm washed over him, and you couldn’t help but think about just how beautiful you thought his voice was.
After you both came down for your highs, Seungkwan helped you to stand and cleaned you up, helping you back into your clothes once you were steady on your feet again. After you were dressed again, he put his own clothes on again and held you close.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, he laughed softly and asked, “So, what do you wanna do now?”
“How about a movie?”
“That sounds great.”
Once you were cleaned up and comfortable again, you and Seungkwan spent the rest of the day watching movies and talking, getting to know each other better like you probably should have before you fucked him. As the conversation topic changed from your job to what his life was like on his home planet, you found yourself wishing that the two of you could have a different type of relationship than the one you had in that moment.
Seungkwan knew from the moment you looked into his eyes that morning that he wanted a deeper connection with you, and as he spent more time with you, he only grew more certain. The only thing he wasn’t certain of, however, was whether you wanted the same thing. So, after he went home for the night, he decided to play it safe and try not to come on too strongly.
The next time you saw Seungkwan at work, your interactions with him were far more awkward than you expected. Every time you tried to talk to him; he got flustered and refused to respond. You tried to approach him, and he’d walk away before you could reach him. All day, he avoided you, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he only wanted sex. The thought killed you inside, but you couldn’t think of any other explanation. So, you decided that if he was going to avoid you, you were going to avoid him too.
Seungkwan knew that he was being a dick, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you, he got nervous all over again, and he couldn’t bring himself to talk to you. Not because he didn’t want to, of course, but because he was terrified of fucking up your relationship. Maybe if he’d known that you wanted the same thing that he did, he wouldn’t have avoided you in the first place.
Seokmin watched you and Seungkwan drift apart, and he wondered what the fuck happened between the two of you. The last time he saw the two of you, you were practically inseparable. After a while, though, the two of you would hardly even look at each other.
It hurt Seokmin to see his two friends fighting. Especially when they were as perfect for each other as he thought you and Seungkwan were. So, being the type of friend that he was, Seokmin decided to try one of the dumbest ideas he’d ever heard and pray to whatever god would listen that it would actually work.
To start, he texted you and Seungkwan individually, asking to meet at a local bar for some drinks after work the following Friday, without mentioning to either of you that the other would be there. You both agreed, and that was when the next step of his plan could begin.
When Friday finally came, you went to work like usual, hoping that you wouldn’t see Seungkwan or his stupid pretty face. You were in a far better mood than usual, though, since you were looking forward to drinks with Seokmin after work. It had been far too long since you’d spent time with your friend, and you were hopeful that a night out would distract you from your disappointment that things didn’t work out with Seungkwan.
Of course, because you were hopeful, the universe laughed in your face by sending Seungkwan to the same bar where you’d agreed to meet Seokmin. Right after you walked in and found a seat, he walked in and took the spot right fucking next to you. You wanted to walk away, but before you could, he turned to you, gave you a shy smile, and asked, “So, how have you been?”
“Don’t. I’m just here to meet Seokmin.”
“But he texted me a few days ago to meet him here.”
As you realized what your friend had done, you groaned and said, “That motherfucker.”
With a sigh, Seungkwan asked, “I’m guessing he texted you too?”
“Yep. This was a setup.”
“Well, since you’re here, we could catch up. If you want, that is,” he said, clearly nervous.
You wanted to ask Seungkwan why he was so anxious, but you decided against it. Instead, you asked, “Do you honestly expect me to believe that you just wanna catch up?” Sure, it was probably a dick move to ask that particular question, but you didn’t care. You were pissed off and wanted answers.
“I don’t expect you to believe it, but it is the truth.”
“We wouldn’t need to catch up if you weren’t avoiding me.”
“I am not avoiding you.”
“What is it called then when someone refuses to speak to you then, Seungkwan?” He was silent in response to that, and you added, “What did I ever do to you, anyway? We were fine one day, and the next we weren’t. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Then what is it, Seungkwan? Is it because you just wanted sex? If that’s the case, just-”
“No. I didn’t just want sex.”
“Then just tell me what’s going on!”
Seungkwan was silent for a minute before he mumbled, “I was scared.”
“Of what?”
He looked up at you, and that was when you noticed that his eyes had shifted to a deep blue. Before you could comment, though, he said, “Pushing you away.” You were silent in response to his admission, so he sighed and added, “I like you a lot. I got so nervous every time I tried to talk to you. I just didn’t wanna mess this up.”
“You are such a fucking idiot,” you said, laughing softly.
“Wow. Ok, that hurt.”
“No, wait. I didn’t mean it like that,” you said. “I like you too. Now will you please stop avoiding me?”
With a smile, he said, “Yes.”
“Thank you.” After a brief pause, you asked, “Would you wanna go back to my place after this?”
“That sounds great, starlight,” he answered, his irises shifting to a deep purple.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope that y'all enjoyed this one. It's new territory for me, but writing it was a fun challenge! If you did enjoy it, make sure to write and reblog! If you'd like to check out my other works, you can find my masterlist here. If you want to see what's in the works, my upcoming works list is here. If none of that interests you, or there's something specific that you wanna see, feel free to send a request via my asks or dms! If you want to be tagged in future posts, my taglist is here!
Thank you again for reading and interacting with my fics. Happy belated birthday, Booki!
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wardensantoineandevka · 26 days ago
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genuinely SO demoralizing to actually check the ages of fairly middle achieving people in fields I want to work in, like not even the major household name types, like, people who are fairly successful, and learning so many of them are +/-3 years of my own age and they got in three or four years ago is just...
I know we all say that one's age isn't ACTUALLY a road block for anything and you can be successful or break into anything at any age, but y'know, still, it's a fact that is incredibly demoralizing and everything seems impossible all the time
yes, yes, i know checking these facts and dwelling on it is NOT helpful, but also y'know, I already know too much of the state of the industries so
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pardonmydelays · 27 days ago
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insufferablemod · 5 months ago
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eschynite · 6 months ago
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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guruguruguruguru · 1 year ago
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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...
there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things
#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because#i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on#even when people get left behind#it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well#like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors#and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day#because of those outside circumstances#and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya#and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable#the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else#anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair#sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it#obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept#part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for#his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl#i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta#its just my feelings about them in particular#haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest
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pikachu-deluxe · 5 months ago
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really sucks when you can't enjoy things you like bc doing them makes you feel guilty and like you're a piece of shit
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ionlycareaboutyou · 8 months ago
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it's so funny i can have a relatively good week and be in a good mood but then i start thinking about food too hard and i'm like well time to end it all
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potatoesandsunshine · 2 years ago
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sad about waypoint hours :(
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theprincessandthepie · 2 months ago
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im so sad they wrote joanna out of the show. and then they never let laurel have any friends of her own again T_T
#arrow lb#like. she gets team arrow later on. but she doesn't really get her OWN friends. which is really weird and sad and isolating.#don't they do that to dig too#now that i think about it. like i think i remember him and carly having a thing and then breaking up. and he never gets his own supporting#cast member again.#honestly i think thats part of what my problem was with late-seasons arrow.#it feels weirdly. empty? because everyone is either like. a part of the main crew or a random extra.#they dont have many minor recurring characters to fill out the world.#like i fully believe season 1 thea has friends. even if we don't see them often.#maybe not super close 'confess all your deepest feelings' type friends. but still.#whereas like. by season 4. i'm 100% sure thea does not have any friends that we aren't shown explicitly on screen#and even when they give someone a minor recurring character. like curtis' husband.#they always get rid of them in the end. or incorporate them into the main cast.#like. in arrow you are either a main character or you don't really exist.#which works for a show like spn. because they ARE isolated. and also moving around all the time.#but the main cast in arrow live in one city. and they have jobs they go to every day and stuff.#so it feels weirdly empty to not have random citizens show up more often.#also. unrelated. i fucking hate that they renamed the city later on. because one rich guy died????#also star city is way less cool.#because you can just call it 'starling' no problem. but you can't just call it 'star'. so you have to say the city part every time.#also. i wuv birds.
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rose-tinted-nostalgia · 10 months ago
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.
#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah#but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me#I don't even need a day of people being nice#truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to#and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash#but it's not just him#my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something#I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same#perspective#and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because#I didn't know what else to say#and even though I'm sick#I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was#struggling and had to lay back down#and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort#she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here#and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes#and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an#cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all#and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note#and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my#house#and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore#and i'm just emotionally drained#and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired#I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration#no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this#and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once
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roturo · 1 year ago
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ OH! SO YOU'RE INTO OLDER MEN?
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˚₊·➳❥ JJK MEN SHOWING YOU HOW A REAL MEN FUCKS! satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, toji fushiguro ✧˚ · .
tags: afab!reader, reader is mentioned as a female, use of nicknames (baby, princess, doll, slut, whore), cheating, degradation, caught cheating, getting caught, unprotected sex, blowjob, pussy slapping, mating press, breeding, age-gaps, virginity loss [...] rbs are appreciated!
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satoru gojo (Daddy’s girl)
well, that’s the word he used for the little girl you're babysitting right now. he’s a great dad and husband. there’s just this tiny whiny little thing he couldn’t do right– and that’s loving his wife as he should.
like– it’s not that he doesn’t feel guilty, it’s just… well, you looked really cute in that mini dress, he and his wife have been fighting lately anddd– he could tell his daughter liked you more than her fatality of mother she has these days. she even called you mommy by accident once! and that was the last water drop gojo needed for the glass to break.
“Oh- I bet you’d love to be full of me right now.” His thrusts became messier each time he pounded on you, “Mhh, fill you up ‘n make me a daddy again– you’d like that princess?” you couldn’t even talk anymore with how good he’s making you feel– he had your legs pressed on the bed thanks to his arms, almost bending you in half, he was making sure that mating press works.
“Ffffuckk- You feel s’good baby” He felt your walls clenching again, no matter how many times he made you come, he’s making sure you’re coming again after he does. A not ending cycle for him. “Such a slut for me hm? Coming all nice and pretty to this house just to be ruined at night–” his words made you feel dirty, but the euphoria of it was stronger, “such” slap, “a nasty” slap, “slut” slap– “and all f’me” with those last thrusts your body couldn’t take it anymore, spasming and trembling while your poor hole was filled up again. gojo’s wife didn’t even bothered to break your little encounter, she suspected it long time ago.
all that was left was a wide grinning gojo satoru and some divorce papers.
suguru geto (Daddy’s best-friend)
you didn’t intend this to happen… you always knew your dad’s best-friend was hot. he’s geto, ‘cmon. he brings a new girl every weekend whispering in your dad’s ear swearing she’s the one this time.
he saw you grow up, turn into this beautiful and strong woman. so how he couldn’t love you? you were like a doll for him, so beautiful and radiant in every way. a porcelain doll he needed to protect, he couldn’t lose you to any dangerous or stupid man, he swears he would beat the shit out of the guy who breaks your heart first.
“Shhiiiitt– Heh– I can tell how tight your pussy is princess–” His cock was stretching the living shit out of you, touching places never in a thousand years you could imagine you would feel. “what d’ya think daddy would say if he saw his little girl being fucked by his best-friend huh?” your brain was a fuzzy mess, you couldn’t make coherent words to say, and just feel how good geto is making you feel. you couldn’t remember how many times he had made you cum with his toungue and he’s just starting to fuck your pussy.
“ ‘m such a lucky guy if i'm the first you’re giving this pussy to, don’t ya think so doll? marking it as mine, baby I swear you’ll need no man to ever fuck this pussy of yours again– shit I won’t need another woman for myself, you’re the one baby” those words filled your heart of a tingly feeling, making more butterflies roam around your tummy, touching yourself you could sense geto’s cock coming and leaving with every thrust, your brain full of air and in need of more of his cock.
he couldn’t resist himself anymore when he was next to you, his cock would get hard the minute he enters your house, and thankfully he has a pretty doll to release himself with.
kento nanami (Big Boss)
Nanami thinks he’s a good and mature guy– At least for his wife and kids… He has this aura of a serious and mature guy but inside every time he’s just this close to breaking it, just to say what he really thinks or feels.
the first time he saw you at work with your tiny skirts and tight blouses he didn’t mind any type of attention to it, you were another cute worker, that’s all. One of another– he can think other women are pretty too right? maybe even prettier than his wife… and nicer, and cuter, and more homely feeling to be a mom. but he wouldn't do anything he would later regret right?...
“You’re s’pretty baby, such a dirty whore for my cock mhm?” he had you pounding from behind, his desk becoming even messier than it was before, one of his hands keeping you laid down on the desk arching your back like if he’s trying to break it– a sudden ringing brought you back from your unconsciousness of nanami’s cock– he answered the call, not a single sing of him trying to stop thrusting into you.
“Yeah?” his voice was out of breath, almost sounding like a sigh when he answered the call, “Where am I? Huh– I’m at the office r-right now…?” he wasn’t even sure if he could keep this act, losing himself more in the feeling of your pussy clenching on his cock– “Oh yeah- I’m okay, uhh- the kids? yyeah, yeah, they’re with my mom right now–” the feeling of keeping up a call with his wife while fucking you made his cock twitch inside of you, feeling like a teenager kissing their crush for the first time. it was no surprise for him that his wife was cheating, but he wanted to keep it like that for the sanity of his kids. 
“Quit the act Kento– I know you’re fucking somebody else right now. See ya at home.”
toji fushiguro (Step-Daddy)
you hated when your mother started dating new guys. they just kept breaking her heart– but you just stopped telling her that it's okay to live without a partner, that she had you by her side, but well… this new man was something else i guess and you didn’t say anything for the sake of your own good mother.
you didn’t like him, but for the sake of your mother you pretended like you do– and let’s be honest, toji doesn’t like children, so when he first met you he wasn’t as social as others… your mom was just too good to simply let go– but the way you moved, talked, dressed caught his attention, and as time passes and he spends more time with your mom– he's no longer drawn to your house just to see your mother, but to see you. 
“Sshhiit- You’re making me feel s’good baby” the lack of air was making you feel giddy, but the way his cock twitched inside your mouth made your core get even wetter. “C’mon baby, ride my shoe,” you wasted no time before your hips started moving, trying to gain some friction and release that tingly feeling coming from your core. 
“D’ya think your mother would like to see her daughter being full of his step-daddy’s cum?” he gets one of his arms behind himself trying to gain some support while his other free hand caresses your cheeks while you continue sucking– this same hand moves out your head and frees his cock out of your mouth, a small strand of saliva connecting your mouth with it–
“Fuck– guess i choose the wrong out of you two”
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dmdumouchel · 1 year ago
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May God have mercy on my soul I used AI to fix the audio in a video for work
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caotictimmy · 5 months ago
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🍏- ANON? MAYBE??? it's so late for me but reading your nsfw on Daisuke...UAAAGHHH SAAGHHH 🗣️ he's such a vocal man and the whole morning sex thing where he can't get into you quick enough .helpop helppp meeeee helpppp
(maybe this is a request? Maybe I'm just yapping lowkey??? But if you want to write on this, by all means go for it LMAO)
Giggling over Swansea being mortified while walking in on reader x daisuke getting it on, I imagine they don't notice him and Daisuke is getting all needy trying to keep his pace 🤞 That boy has never felt the touch of person romantically so I could onllllyyyy assume that he'd been sensitive his first time. Or like. Every time with reader- especially if they're still on the ship. He's trying to not make too much noise as everyone is asleep ☹️ his whiney ass is NOT making it through that night. Bonus if reader is nonchalant about it the next day at lunch. They're talking with someone about their poor love lives (finding people to stay with how long their jobs shipments are)- reader dropping shit like 'aw man yeah. if only there was someone to really understand me, y'know?'. As if Daisuke wasn't memorizing their insides and how they physically react to him with his body just last night 😭
HELP 🍏 ANON THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ALMOST FELL OFF MY BED. But this is Acually so smart. I always believe Daisuke gets lost in the sauce when you guys have sex. For the headcanon I was thinking they were known dating. But for this let’s pretend the crew doesn’t know Daisuke and reader are dating. The first kind middle part will be NSFW. But the rest should be NSFW. This will be done as a one shot. (I’ll also include your little bonus! Plus a little more:3)
What was that god damn noise..? Swansea thought. Irradiated as he heard a squeaking sound, an indescribable muffled sound coming along with it. For fucks sake he just wanted to get some rest! But those loud noises would not let the poor man drift to sleep. He was gonna put a stop to that noise. Once and for all.
Swansea swings his legs over the side of his bed, sitting up. Stretching his arms as he gets ready to investigate what the noise is, and where it’s coming from. He stands up, his back making a loud crack.( I love old man Swansea). He slips his slippers on. Grabbing and putting on his robe by the door. Slowly pushing the door open. Before silently shutting the door. The noise got louder. Even though the walls were paper thin. It still muffled some of the noise.
He tread carefully through the halls. Getting closer to the noise. Swansea could hear talking maybe? The squeaking of something getting louder the more he approaches. Wait. He’s getting closer to Daisuke’s room..? What the hell was that kid doing. He could hear a faint panting? He started walking a bit faster.
Daisuke’s door was cracked open. God was the kid hurt-. Oh… Oh dear god.. For the love of pony express why did he have to be the one to catch this scene. He could now clearly see what was happening now. God why him..? (Warning for what’s ahead will be NSFW)
“Nyyhhh… F-fuck you feel so good. G-god so good. Am I doing good? Mhm!.. a-am I doing good for you. Wanna make sure your feeling as ..ahh ~… as good as I am.” Daisuke whimpered out. His arms wrapped around your waist as he continues going his rough pace.
“Yes! O-oh fuck hah… doing so good for me!”, Your voice muffled as you were face first in your pillow. Daisuke’s body pressing against your back. Like he was trying to mold his body with you. A loud ‘plap’ sound being able to be heard.
Swansea felt his face contort in horror. He could feel his stomach twist in disgust. He definitely walked in on something he definitely shouldn’t have. So what did he do. He went back to his room. Staring at the ceiling with that petrified face still stuck on his face. To say he wasn’t able to sleep that night would be an understatement
-
“I feel like it’s impossible to date anyone with this crappy job.” Anya huffed in a frustrated tone. “I second to that.”, Curly sighed as he ate his crappy lunch.” Our shipments at a Minimum are 5 months! And it’s like we get a month or two back on earth, before they send us back to ship something!” Anya finished. The annoyed look on her face quite prominent.
“I get you Anya. I want to Acually spend time with someone and let them get to know me. But you can’t really do that on this floating rock.”, You said nonchalantly. You sure were letting Daisuke get to know you. All of you… Swansea thought. Trying not to gag at the imagie of what he witnessed last night.
You could feel Daisuke’s eyes turn to you. Lingering a bit longer than ‘just friends’. “Yeah man, it’s such a bummer!” Daisuke said. A light blush spread across his face as he said it. No one else except Swansea noticed.
“Say uh..” Anya started, looking up at you. “I saw you walking in here with a limp, you good?” She asked,her voice laced with concern. God why did you have to ask that Anya! Swansea cringed at her question. “Oh yea no I’m good! Just hit my leg on the wall while sleeping y’know.” You said. Hmh.. I’m sure you were doing some sort of sleeping. Swansea hurrying to finish his food. Quickly getting up to put his plate in the sink and immediately start work. He really just wants to take his mind off this..
-
“Swan-sea!” Daisuke said, dragging the two parts of Swansea’s name out. Swansea ignored Daisuke, continuing to work on the broken vent. “Dude did I do something wrong?” Swansea sighed. Since Daisuke wanted the truth he’ll get it.”For fucks sake Daisuke! Can you have them stop fucking like rabbits! I know you young people have your urges, but this has been going on for the past week. And it’s Saturday for crying out loud!” Swansea yelled.
“AND IF YOU FREAKS ARE GONNA KEEP GOING AT IT. AT LEAST KEEP THE DOOR SHUT AND BE QUIET. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.” Swansea finished, catching his breath. Daisuke just stood there stunned.
“You.. you heard us..?” Daisuke asked, his mouth agape and his eyes shot wide. “I didn’t just hear you guys. Saw it to! Close the damn door next time!” Swansea said irritated. Daisuke continued to stand there embarrassed. “Swansea uh.. I-I’m so sorry I didn’t realize.” Daisuke stuttered out. Still shocked about the revelation.
“Yeah you better be fucking sorry” Swansea muttered. Turning around before pausing. Sighing a bit. “At lest your getting some action in this hell hole. Reminds me of me and my wife.” He said. Before holding his fist out. “I’m only gonna do this once Daisuke.” Swansea said. Daisuke happily returned the fist bump.
“Now get the hell out of my sight for the rest of the day!” Swansea yelled. “Alright swan-sea!” Daisuke said, doing the same long period name thing. Swansea let out an annoyed sigh. At least the kid was happy…
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nochepsicodelica · 21 days ago
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Suggestive
"Baby, I have to gooo," you whine, groaning irritatedly when the iron hold of Toji's arms doesn't loosen around your waist. "Lance is gonna be pissed if i'm late for another job."
"Mm..." he hums, his lips detaching from the fresh mark he just left on your neck. "We could be leaving together, partnered up and all," he murmurs, gently brushing his lips over the plethora of visible kisses, "but you won't leave that damn agency. Shiu's better at finding jobs that pay you tons to basically shoot at practice dummies."
You sigh. This is the discussion you and Toji have practically every other day. He always waits until you're almost leaving to bring it up, too.
"You know I owe a lot to the guy, Toji. He swooped in when I needed help—when I was on my own and couldn't ground myself. He treated me like I was family—like I was his own kid. I can't just turn my back on him like that."
"I know, ma, and trust me, I get that. I completely understand, where you're coming from. We've got similar stories in that aspect, 'cause I feel like I owe Shiu a lot, too. But what are you gonna do when someone puts a hit on me, and your handler offers you so much money that you can retire as soon as i'm down?"
You bring two fingers and your thumb up, shaping them into a gun, make a cocking sound and press your fingertips to his forehead. "Bang!"
Toji rolls his eyes, but his amused chuckle is what brings a smile to your face. "Yeah? You'd take the job and shoot me dead?" He asks.
"As if you'd get shot down so easily. Nah, someone else can struggle with that," you say, lowering your "gun" with a teasing grin.
"And if it had to be you?" He asks, leaning in to bury his face in the comfort of the crook of your neck, again. "Would you let me get away?"
You hum, enjoying the softness of his returning affection to the skin beneath the collar of your lowered turtleneck. "Yeah, I'd let you get away," you confirm. "I'd probably..." you cut yourself off with a giggle, a sound that has Toji grinning against your skin. "...probably turn around and text you to see what you want for dinner, and see if you're tryna pork later on." Your laugh returns when you feel the puff of air that comes with his chuckle, against your neck.
"You got a dirty mouth, doll," he murmurs, loosening his hold on you and letting his hands wander over your torso. "Fucking love it."
"Hey," you say, your tone a soft warning when he starts tugging at your shirt, trying to untuck it from your cargos. "I have to go, so pump the brakes for now, and we can go at it like rabbits later on—if you still want to. Okay?" You ask, rubbing his chest.
"Fine," Toji grumbles. He fixes the collar of your turtleneck and veils the evidence of his morning affection. "If I want to," he mutters, scoffing as if it's an unbelievable thing to say. "You're good," he says, referring to the tidiness of your outfit.
"Cool, but now I'm curious to know what you would do if Shiu told you to hunt me down."
He hums, a mischievous smirk formed on his scarred lips. He mimics the gun you made with your hand, but instead of pressing his fingertips to your forehead, he puts them beneath your jaw. He makes the same cocking sound and... "Bang!"
It's your turn to roll your eyes and laugh. "Nice. Real nice," you say, amusedly.
"Right?" He says, with a smug grin. He uses the position of his fingers to tilt your head up more and presses a single, slow and savored kiss to your lips, luring giddy giggles from you and a smile onto his face. "Nah, someone else can struggle with that." He retracts his "gun" from your jaw and rests his hand on your thigh.
"Wish we would've met under difference circumstances—you being one of Shiu's new hires if it was destined to be through this field—but I'm not gonna bitch about it when I got to meet you at all." There's a sincerity in his expression, a gleam in his eyes that you see when he's using his heart to communicate.
"Aww, Toji! You're such a sweeeetheart," you coo, your smile beaming as you pinch his cheeks. He groans, but still does absolutely nothing to stop you. "My big, buff, handsome man is such a softie," you say, squealing with joy.
While Toji can act like this is the most ridiculous thing ever—you cooing and peppering kisses all over his face—he can't hide that gleam in his eyes. So when you sigh and say, "Well, I'm officially late, again. I actually have to go, now." He's miserable and can't do anything about it.
"Call you later?" You say, getting off his lap and fixing your clothes.
"'Course, ma. Did you double check your duffel?"
"Uh-huh. Everything is in there and everything is functional," you assure.
"Sounds good." He doesn't lie back down yet. There's still two more things you need to do and he'll be damned if he doesn't get them from you.
You smile as you lean in to peck his lips, transferring some of your sweet lip balm onto his lips. One.
"Love you. I'll see you later." Two.
"Love you, doll."
As soon as you turn your back, Toji's swiping his tongue over his lips, trying to grasp the remnants of your kiss. Green eyes stick to your figure as you turn around and grab your duffel bag and phone. Phone in your pocket, keys in your pocket, duffel strap crossed over your torso, shoes near the front door—good to go.
"You look hot," Toji calls, after you, his usual smirk already raising his scar.
"Bye, Toji," you say, through a laugh.
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boowritess · 10 months ago
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part 2 lol
so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.
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141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader
and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.
who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.
and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-
"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."
"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"
- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*
(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)
and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.
but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like
"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.
enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...
and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...
"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."
"and you do this often...? crazy."
but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*
and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.
you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-
"why're you pulling that face?" 141
"that's... that's just my focusing face..."
"oh..." 141 feels bad
then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!
"can i just wait in the car?"
"no." price
"i'm gonna vomit."
"aim at the enemy." ghost
people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.
they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.
"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."
"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."
"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."
your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.
with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.
"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"
"...that's not how it works..." rando.
"fuck."
and maybe you try...
like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...
"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"
"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused
"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."
"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."
and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that
idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.
bonus*
"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost
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a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7
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