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ficsnroses · 5 years ago

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Friends With Benefits Chapter 9 - Keanu Reeves x Reader

Chapter IX ~ Full Circle.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

❧ Word Count : 3.7K

❧ Warnings : Angst, light nsfw/smut, (I apologize in advance..)

❧ Series Summary : What happens when two, lonely friends start seeing each other for sex? A tricky friends with benefits love story, when feelings get in the way.

Notes : Just a couple more chapters after this, series is scheduled to end this month! Thanks for sticking around since I started this in November. I love it with my entire heart, and I hope you do too. Please do leave feedback and comments if ya get a sec. There’s tons of parallels in here from previous chapters, kudos if you can spot em!

Chapter 8 Recap : After leaving Keanu’s house in tears at midnight, Y/N’s car breaks down, and she’s left with no one to call but Keanu. After much persuasion, Keanu convinces her to come back to his house and spend the night; where they end up having sex yet again, only making things worse. In the morning, Keanu reveals to Y/N that he plans on purchasing a new car for her, which offends her significantly, considering their relationship. Y/N ends things with Keanu for good, leaving them both distraught and heartbroken in their own ways.

It all comes down to the last person you think of at night.

That’s, where your heart is.

Day after day; week after week, abiding to dreary half executed routines and less than productive projects. It’s been 3 weeks since you’d weary boned, walked out of Keanu’s house,

and perhaps his life

once and for all demolishing the sole, fraying thread of your damaged relationship. As you roam your seemingly emptier apartment, the air around secludes, chilling wavelengths and brisky cold temperate in the atmosphere. On an oak coat hanger, draped in a corner of the living room entrance, a knitted black coat hangs, the same one Keanu had forced you to wear on impromptu evening adventures downtown the LA scene. Neither of you were much for the crowds, yet social affairs seemed…alright. When in the company of the other.

A lot seemed alright when in the company of one another.

Gray ash clouds outside, the LA afternoon falls dark, the dewy gold gleam of a black pine candle illuminating a halo around its part on the coffee table.

It was his favourite scent.

To the hallway wall, a small chip in the crisp white walls taunts you, his elbow bellowed in a charge too fierce when you’d pushed him to it; satin lips on yours in a feverish kiss.

His baseball cap, long forgotten on the loveseat by the skyline window.

Two wine glasses stowed away in the glass kitchen cabinets.

The lighter you kept on hand for him when he’d need a smoke after sex.

Quiet laughs shared in the moonlit dark within these very walls.

All around, there was him.

You don’t realize just how much someone is a part of you, until they’re gone.

For him, it may have just been sex. For you, you were making love. You were making love the entire time, to him. And now, as you sit alone in your outcast LA apartment, that same love mocks you. Suffocates you. Kills you, because it never really goes away. Just because he’s gone, it

hasn’t

gone

away.

He’d yet to call, and you distrust he will. Lover or not, you know him as the back of your hand. He won’t call, he cares too much. Respects you too much to force himself on you. Loud and clear, you’d made rich, undoubted clarity of the end that dreadful morning. The death of you and him.

And nothing comes back from the dead. All that leaves mark is haunting, cold memories.

Cold comfort. Burning memories of what was. He’s a man of measured words, speaks only when there was reason to. Yet, they’d left you haunted. His words that spoke far too much, far too deep, forced you to fall far too profound when you’d promised each other, it wasn’t ever the end goal.

You’d blinked once; then twice, thrice, until the first tear fell.

Warm, stinging, burning. You’d gotten used to those first couple tears lately; the ones that would come uninvited, without notice.

Even after him, all there was,

was burn.

Out.

You needed to go out, do something, find anything to distract, to quench that burning long inside you. The studio sounded nice, nothing a half finish project to get your brain juices flowing couldn’t fix.

Work had been an outlet; designs, sculptures, drawings, late night sessions locked away in your studio had been rather therapeutic when you’d first moved out.

Therapeutic-before you began finding comfort in Keanu’s king bed, silken sheets and cotton pillows scattered around almost every night.

The lock to the apartment door clinks, keys bustling with a toss into your bag before you start toward the elevator.

This is good. This is okay. The morning is rather low-spirited and desolate, not a soul in the halls or lobby. Perhaps you preferred it that way for now.

Alone. Something so familiar, but revitalising. Or maybe truth be told, right now, for you, if it wasn’t him,

it couldn’t be anyone at all.

His rich chuckle,

His smoky laugh,

That inquisitive, immersed stare with the tip of his lips slightly agape while he listens, breathes in the world around him,

Stop.

With a half executed, drained sigh, you trudge to the brassy elevator doors, sounds of trudging cables and gaudy belts before the doors glide open, the elevator scent of a freshener far too strong, mimicking fresh linen and Californian citrus. The ride down is short, a derisory accomplishment of actually stepping foot out into the world outside your sheltered apartment corridors. With a stop to the third floor below yours, the elevator dings, heavy footsteps and the scent of spiced cologne wafted through the trivial space.

Spiced cologne; a dire contrast to the woodier, pine-ier one of Keanus.

Voice intruding, you pick up deep soundwaves and flashy baritone, a greeting of curious surprise your way. “Y/N?” They speak, snapped out your dreary daydream, thoughts somehow continually reverted back to broken eyes, deadbeat silence from that shattered morning endured three weeks ago.

Curious orbs raised, you perceive him; an old colleague residing in the same complex. He’d been the first neighbour you encountered in the midst of your move here, a heavy box of dishes and cutlery saved by his robust arms carrying them up to your front door that year ago. “Matt?”

“It’s been a while, haven’t seen you around.” He raises, hands shoved into his blue jean pockets, tall frame taking place a mere few inches apart from you.

“Just been busy.” You smile, stray strand of lock tucked behind your ear. Matt had been much help during your move, and you’d kept in touch thereafter. He’d come visit time to time for a piping cup of French coffee; discussions of work and projects mindlessly favoured together.

“Right.” He replies, amiable smile to his full lips. “I saw you’d been working on bigger films.” He starts, admirable sheen to his dark eyes. “Very commendable work.” He praises, a gentle chuckle when the following words flow. “Hey, I have to ask…” The elevator descends further down, main lobby in approach. Sounds of trudging still bellow above, yet the sound of his talk was…nice. It was nice to hear someone.

Apart from failed attempts of your girlfriends to take you out for drinks, you’d heard little rather from the voice that would seep your television; the Netflix catalogue had been getting much devotion lately.

With his brows scrunching, the baritone of his voice raises slight, wondering. “I’ve seen a guy visit you every now and then…was that Keanu freaking Reeves?” timidly chuckled, he takes in your gentle giggle, a nod to his query.

“Yeah, it was.”

“Ahhh.” He breathes, glance at the polished floor. “Boyfriend…?” His voice lingers, a dragged out tone in question, eyes focused to assess your features change.

“Business partner.” You lie.

A cold, dreadful lie that held so much history, so much regard. So much history, thrown away with those two, taciturn words.

“Right.” Matt rakes a heavy palm through his hair, moved to gesture out a peace offering in front of him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.” He apologizes, nervous tone thick with unease, yet held to a certain confidence. Matt had charisma, poise, a pleasant presence.

Voice warm, you overtake, smiling in return. “Of course not.” Sincerely, you compliment. “You look well.” Commenting, the elevator rings open, the main lobby arrives. Matt allows you to go first, leading the way graciously.

“You do too, as always.” He praises, eyes glazing over your features in an admirable glow. Hand tucked back into his jean pocket, a timid silence stays put in the air around, your brows raising when at a loss of what to say next. Features contemplative, Matt’s voice gruffs in his throat, gently coughing a nervous pitch to the look of your welcoming gaze. “I’d actually love to catch up sometime, if you’re free.” He proposes. “Maybe a coffee sometime this week?”

Your thoughts halt in trek, gaze flickering to the pavement below in the distance for a moment. Company…someone to ease your mind off the storm brewing inside….

You think back,

Two wine glasses stowed away in the glass kitchen cabinets. A half drank bottle of Merlot sitting in solitude.

“Do you wanna come over tonight?” You blurt, uncertain of when the words had even fallen off your lonesome lips. Partly wonderstruck you’d extended an invitation so sudden, you marvel if it was too soon. You’d just met Matt again; only shared a meagre 3 minutes together thus far.

You’d only shut Keanu out so soon ago, yet you knew deep inside, he was still stuck in each part of you. But it couldn’t go on like that forever, this couldn’t go on forever. You need something new, potentially someone new.

Someone that doesn’t come with such baggage, someone who doesn’t come with so many complications.

Matt shifts, charming smile plastered to his lips with a quick glance down. His thoughts collect; gaze locked to yours in an admiration filled sincerity. “Yeah, for sure.” He speaks. “I’d really like that.” Controlled and certain, you nod, gesturing to the roads off sight. ��I’ve just got a day of errands and work ahead. But I’ll see you at my place tonight?” You offer. “Is 7:00 alright?”

“Of course.” He smiles, giving you a gentle nod, and if you thought close enough, you’d swore his awed eyes sputtered to your rosy lips ever so briefly,

wondering….

3 weeks. 3 long, tiresome, drained week without her. Without her company, without her voice, without her floral scent; roses and lilies to brighten his days. It had felt as if she’d been wiped away, his motionless mind left with nothing but burning memories of their time together.

Laying in his king bed, Keanu wonders what she’s doing right now. Is she thinking of him, the way he thinks of her? Has she forgotten him, the way they were, the things they did? He prays. He pleads she hasn’t forgotten. Three weeks had passed, and time seemed to mock him at every second. A lifetime spent alone, the lonesome days and months, turned mindlessly to years. Her walking away had been perhaps the most gut wrenching, soul eating occurrence to ever break his mind. Her walking away was the sourest sting he’d ever had to swallow.

Because he knows he’ll never forget her. Not now, not today, not in another three weeks.

She was it for him, he’d known it for a while. If it was going to be anyone, if he had a chance to make it right with anyone, it was solely, unconditionally, her. He couldn’t forget.

Couldn’t forget the things they did.

She’d been a dire reflection of him, mirroring his tepid, half sheltered heart. The heart that longs, for so much more. It was only her. It could only be her.

It wasn’t toxicity.

time passed, the days turned to nights, the tick bestowing further, the time spending away, not making either of them younger, he knew. She was it. It all meant something, it was never just sex.

It could never just be sex. What he felt, she had to feel it too.

She had to. No longer was it feasible to suffer. He won’t suffer. This time, now, finally, he won’t suffer. He won’t let it be.

As he turns his side, an exasperated sigh flees his lips, hand bestowed to his feeble forehead in an aching protrude. He wonders what she’s doing right now, if she’s awake, wondering, thinking, missing him like he is her. Longing for him, as he is for her.

Suffering for him, as he is for her.

A glance toward the bedside table shows, dainty clock illuminating the time. He’d seek her in the early morning, and this time, he’d at least try to make things right. Lay his heart out on the line, hoping, pleading she’d accept it. Enough had been enough, dreary thoughts and lonesome nights, burning away, wondering of what could be would perverse no more.

He wonders what she’s doing right now.

11:38pm.

She couldn’t forget him. He wouldn’t let her.

Couldn’t forget the things they did.

Words not spoken,

Things not said,

Regrets; enveloping you.

A finished bottle of Merlot, a shot or two as well. Something crisp…something that,

burned.

You don’t remember who did it first, who wanted it first, who let it happen first.

His scent lasted longer than you’d liked on your skin, that murky dusk of spiced cologne, his polite, appealing presence. He arrived with a bottle of White, a variety you’d almost never kept on hand in the last couple of months.

Red used to be his favourite; so it was yours.

Perhaps you were vulnerable, perhaps he was too kind. Too charming, too present. But you asked for it, you did it, you wanted it. Or so you think you did.

It always comes full circle.

You needed someone that night, needed to feel someone that night. You don’t remember who made the first move, seemed as if both of you wanted that mutuality, that connection just as much.

Back where you’d started.

His skin grazed yours, gentle thumb soothed to your own; wine glass held in a wavering grip, frail to your boney fingers. You didn’t stop him, didn’t pull away. He moved closer, and maybe you did too. Closer to him, nearer to him.

The gray bedroom walls heard the scene; they saw it all, unadulterated, held the secrets of what you’d done. His lips on yours, his hands on you, your fingers clawing to his back. You let him in, and he took each inch of you. Raw, exposed, desperately attempting to chase that high, that cloud nine feel that came with months gone. You could lay with this man while you thought of him, drawing sorrow deep inside his skin. Scratch his back to forget his face, bite his neck with his name on your tongue, touch his face while you think of him.

It’s an awful feeling, knowing you did nothing wrong.

But did everything wrong, all in the same.

“Y/N…” You cut Matt off by kissing his lips, gracefully on the bed underneath him, hands in his hair with his heavy palms to your hips. Moving diligently, he sulks into your neck, moaning, soft and quiet grunts between bites and nips to your neck. “Faster,” You spill, nerve endings tantalized as he thrusts, your lips stippled to his piercing jawline.

Is it easier for him? you wonder, you ponder,

you guess.

“You’re irresistible…” He whispers, lips browsed to your chest in a warm enhold, skin on skin within the softness of release. Back arching, you lean into his touch, hips bucking along with his when your mind jumbles, an awful realization, the bitter realism. He’s changing your breath with every thrust, working your body in a hot, humid intimacy so foreign, his manhood hastily working your body beneath. So foreign, so…empty.

That familiar stretch isn’t there, the sweet burn isn’t there, he isn’t there. This isn’t him. No matter how hard you try, how tight you clench your eyes hoping you’ll trick yourself into believing it, it isn’t him.

He’s safe, he’s new, he’s different,

But he’s not him. The façade you show melts away.

He’ll never be him. No one will ever be him.

As he slips out in the midnight light, the bed sinks beside you, and you turn with the comforter held to your exposed chest. The only light in the bedroom filters from the cracked window, the illuminated alarm clock on your dainty nightstand enlightening the while,

11:38pm.

The misty LA morning brought new found hope; new found anticipation. The weather had predicted a storm brewing out soon, yet that wouldn’t be enough to stop Keanu.

Not today. Not when he needs her to know. Not when he loves her, and he knows so deep, so profound that he does.

Sunny California had grayed a dark to its golden rays lately, a frigid mist clings to the air. Heavier rains had been the norm recently, damper months in full fledge. A tug of war impends his mind, should he wait until evening? Should he call? Was this an intrusion of her space? Her choices?

Was she really, truly content leaving things the way she did?

He looks in the mirror; beard longer than it had been since he’d seen her; hair shaggier than she’d left him. He hadn’t had anyone to look good for since she’d gone away. Hadn’t had motivation to present himself to anyone since she’d left. Some of Y/N’s things still lingered the empty walls of his home; a lacy bra left in his wardrobe, a crewneck sweater mindlessly thrown under his bed; her copy of a Hemingway novel abandoned in his office, a toothbrush for when she’d spend the night.

It had been there the entire time.

Just sex isn’t this involved.

Friends with benefits aren’t this involved.

She’d been there the entire time.

After a quick shower and groom of his rather untamed features, Keanu snatches his keys and wallet, fear filled drive to her apartment drained on his mind. Y/N had to see this through, had to trust him, understand him.

Y/N and Keanu had never really got it right, never quite found the balance. But it could be found, could be learnt, could be when they’d finally accept it.

The balance was always them. Them together, as whole. Half executed attempts at being anything less would suffice no more. What was, what is, was always more.

It was never just sex.

It was so much more.

The apartment complex is rather fuller than normal, piercing cold and dewy morning air enveloped around. Crowds had stayed in, and the first murky dewdrops of fresh rain speckled his worn out leather jacket on arrival.

This worn out leather jacket….

He’d placed it on her shoulders when the bitter cold threatened her skin. She’d peeled it off him when they did what lovers do.

It was never just sex.

It was companionship.

The wearing pockets had held her special birthstone ring, forgotten in his possession solely for him to have a reason to come to her, sooner than they’d planned.

It was never just sex.

It was the feeling of needing someone; having someone.

The fraying insides and ravelling threads felt the weight of her body holding him, chest pressed to his back along the scenic LA mountains, breezy winds and violet sunsets known all too well on destination less rides.

It was never just sex.

It was connection; intimacy.

This old, worn out leather jacket, a possession of his he’d held for so long, something that had been through it all, held so much of her. Knew so much of her.

It was never just sex.

It was their love. And it was so much more, so much more than just physical.

The ride up and trek to her door seemed endless, racing pace and quick strides in desperate attempt to get to her as soon as he could. Everything had finally fallen into place, he’d finally understood. And he knew so well, that she would too. Takes one to know one; they’d been lonely far too long.

Within moments, Keanu stood firm at her door, abundance of confidence, anticipation, yet a timid nervousness all in one piping cocktail of eagerness flowing through his veins. He hadn’t seen her in weeks; his favourite, the most prized possession in his life, he hadn’t seen in weeks. More than anything, he hopes she had been alright. Taken care of herself, stayed healthy and safe.

A ring at the door bell, and a loud knock.

Seconds, moments, small increments of time passing seem as if an eternity slowly moving by.

Another knock, for good measure.

Hands shaking so slightly, skin crawling, fists clenched with a stare to the floor.

She should be home, it’s only morning.

Trudging elevator belts moving in the distance, footsteps in and around the complex halls, leg bouncing, lip bitten in dreary wait, a nervous sigh when more moments pass until…

Click. The door wavers open, she stands behind, half dressed, features borderline stoic, yet with a gentle hold of sorrowed blues. She looks beautiful as always, and his heart hitches at the sight of her. The woman he loves, so dearly, so much. Hair stowed in a messy bun, fatigue seeps under her eyelids, tired features soft under the artificial hallway lights.

“Y/N…” Keanu speaks above a smooth, buttery whisper; the sound of her name slipping off so naturally, so effortlessly. “I wanted to see you…”

She swallows tight, eyes never leaving his chocolaty, sincere gaze, so love drunk as he stares. He’d engulf her in his arm right now if he could. Hold her for an eternity if time allowed. Kiss her so passionately, so lovingly that it’d take her breath away. Yet he waits; waits to do things right. Do it the right way, for the first time in their tumbling relationship. “Can I come in?” He asks, voice almost choking in his gruffed throat.

She’d hardly moved before he’d caught glimpse; a deep baritone behind her, the sound an intruding shock to his already racing heart. Calm yet collected, Keanu stands, eyes tracing behind as the voice firms in closer,

a man, jacket hung over his left shoulder blade, morning hair just woken ruffled a mess, palm placed to her back with a gentle squeeze as he bids goodbye. “I need to head out, but I’ll call you.” He smiles at her, before locking gaze with Keanu.

“Morning.” He greets Keanu, before giving Y/N’s arm a reassuring, goodbye squeeze, slipping beside Keanu and out the door, disappearing down the hall. Y/N stands in front of him, eyes locked to his still, as if pleading, begging for something…something neither of them could quite understand.

Keanu stills, fists clenched, heart stinging with piercing defeat.

She’d been with another man.

The love he so desperately longed for, the women he knew he needed,

had been in the arms,

of another.

>>Chapter 10>>

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

s/o to ma bish @fanficsrusz for looking over this cluster fuck for me lol. ily

My taglists will be posted in reblogs from now on. Let me know if you want to be added or removed from either this series, or the permanent!

#keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves smut

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tothedarkdarkseas · 3 years ago

Note

The way Vampire AU has taken off has really warmed my heart! So many great thoughts all round. I sent you some elaborations on my own personal headcanons for it as a submission, just for the fun of it. Enjoy!

Hi! I got your submission last night and read over it-- it's very elaborate, you've clearly put a lot of thought into fleshing this AU out and it sounds like a ton of fun. I know you mentioned at the end that you had no intentions of writing it because you're busy with other fandom projects, but I'm sure there are many who'd be interested in reading your ideas if you ever decided to make a sideblog for it. I'll post your submission for others to read below a cut here so that the post won't be too long on the dashboard, and I'll reply to some of the specifics underneath!

Yes! I have so many more thoughts on a vampire AU, I figured it would be easier to put them in a submission. Hope you don't mind.

The concept is just so fascinating to me, because so much of it lines up perfectly with the character dynamics we're given in the canon, and what doesn't has the potential to expand on and explore those dynamics in a really interesting way.

I agree 100 percent about the tone it would have to be written in. An actual brooding, dark prince Murdoc type of thing wouldn't work for me. (Murdoc would try to play up that persona, but in reality, he'd be far from it.) In my mind, the tone would be half What We Do In The Shadows and half Being Human UK. Four misfits living in a mouldering mansion somewhere, getting on each other's tits - but deep down they've got each other's backs. There's a bond, even if they can't quite explain what it is.

In my mind the bloodlust would function as an addiction. Murdoc is no Mother Theresa but he's not comfortable with indiscriminate murder either. (Guilt and self-loathing is not a good combination in Murdoc.) Knowing there is no in between for vampires - you can't have a sip here and there, it's abstinence or nightly slaughter - he stays teetotal from blood and tries to channel his desires into other addictions instead. Any and every addiction, really. Drugs, booze, sex, theft, you name it. Which is how he comes to be doing donuts in a stolen car in a Tesco car park, at the exact same time Stuart Pot is making a midnight run for condoms and Tango.

I picture Murdoc's turning of Stu would be this confusing moment that even he can't fully explain, so he's always switching his story about it. One day he'll say he didn't want to deal with the police, another day it'll be vampire enforcers he was afraid of - "total killjoys, they'll bung you in a blood-filled coffin for a hundred years over the TINIEST infraction". Other days he comes close to admitting he felt guilty, that he flipped out over the idea of killing someone after all, when he's dedicating all his energy to avoiding doing just that. Sometimes he just calls it a moment of madness.

But in every vampire movie, there's that moment. The moment where the newly-turned vamp rises from the grave as this beautiful unearthly creature of the night, and I mean . . . this absolutely would be Murdoc's experience of it. He's almost convinced himself there aren't real vampires like that, that it's all Hollywood bollocks, and then Stu rises up in front of him like some black-eyed, blue-haired god, and the part of Murdoc that isn't utterly gobsmacked by it can't help resenting the little sod for making it look so easy. Murdoc likes to take the piss out of him and claim he's like one of those Lost Boys California pretty boy vampires, but he's jealous really.

I imagine Murdoc would be similarly mercurial about how he was turned. There's always some hyperbolic story about it, designed to paint Murdoc in the best light. Sometimes he was the premier occultist of his day. Sometimes he sold his soul to the devil for immortality. Sometimes he was turned by a beautiful vampire seductress, who was bitter he broke her heart. It's all bollocks. The truth is definitely something less glamorous, and I would imagine actually much sadder as well? I'm not sure what, but I'm picturing something like Murdoc's father being some small-time occultist who sold his son to vampires, or maybe Murdoc was working some menial job and was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe he was turned by some vampire who would have drunk him dry, if Murdoc hadn't fought him off. Or maybe it's a bit of mystery, like the mystery of his mother in canon. Someone did this to Murdoc, someone made him what he is, but he has no memory of it. And all the different stories are actually partly a coping mechanism for that, as he tries on different explanations for size. (It would also explain why he would refuse to abandon Stu after turning him. Because navigating this new reality alone is something he wouldn't wish on anyone, even some dumb kid.)

I think the supernatural element would also be a great way to expand on and deepen Murdoc's relationships with Russell and Noodle. In supernatural fiction there are always two types of beings that hate each other. Usually vampires and werewolves, but often vampires and ghosts too. As, obviously, vamps can't drain ghosts, and they spend their lives running from the guilt of all the people they've killed. Ghosts are a constant reminder of that - and of the afterlife they both fear, and resent that they were denied. I can picture Russell maybe helping Murdoc exorcise the ghost of Hannibal or Jacob, and that's how they meet. (And why he has more patience with Murdoc than most. He's seen him at his most vulnerable.) Noodle would be great as a vampire hunter too. Her dynamic with Murdoc would be fraught as on the one hand, she respects Russell and venerates him for his connection to the spirit world, so to a certain extent anything he says she'll try to respect. And Murdoc is supposedly reformed, and she has moments where she even almost quite likes him. But her instinct is not to trust him. Her instinct is to put him down, and they both know it. As much as he battles his bloodlust around her, she battles her urge to put a stake through his heart, Van Helsing style.

Finding out he turned someone would be a MAJOR ruck in their relationship. But I think Murdoc would use 2-D to convince her and Russell to stick around - because he turned him, but it wasn't like he was chowing down on the lad, it was practically an act of charity, really. Practically an act of atonement. And if they both leave now, Stu is only left with Mr Bad Influence Murdoc Niccals, to teach him how to be a vampire, and restrain his urges and whatnot. And Murdoc has never been much good at all that AA, 12 step stuff, so unless they WANT poor sweet Stuart Pot to wind up spending eternity as some kind of crackhead . . . it would be a kindness to him, really, to stick around.

I could not agree more about how Murdoc turning Stu would mirror their Phase Two dynamic, with Stu literally having become "the thing Murdoc turned him into", and resenting that. But also, having moments of perverse gratitude for it? Stu is vain, and vampire Stu would be gorgeous, which I reckon he'd love. And though I think he'd hate that his normal life of footy with the boys and Sunday dinner at his mum's was over, I can also imagine him feeling this whole new world has opened up in front of him, something most people aren't special enough to gain entry to. And he likes that.

I can even see the fame thing and the band happening. Music would be a great, healthier way to channel the urges he can't act on. And I can see Murdoc agreeing. Admitting that he's been playing in bands for years, because it's actually a great cover for a vampire lifestyle. Being nocturnal is practically a prerequisite, when you're a rock star, and you can get away with looking all kinds of weird when you're in a band, because people just chalk it up to the aesthetic. Still, until he met 2-D, none of the bands he'd been in were actually any GOOD. 2-D reawakens his love of music, the same way he is the turning point for Murdoc's career in the canon.

Vampirism would also be a great way to explore Stuart's flaws. His vanity is an obvious one, but I can also see him avoiding his family and not letting them know why he'd disappeared for years. Just too self-absorbed to appreciate the harm it's caused. I can also see the pill problem happening as he imitates Murdoc's habit of abusing substances to try and blunt his bloodlust. I can imagine him saying stupid stuff like "you never even took me to the hospital!" and convincing himself he experiences phantom headaches, because he doesn't want to admit he's becoming just like Murdoc, actually. He tells himself the pills are medicine and he really needs them, and it's not the same at all.

And I can see him getting too carried away with his lusts, and having several near misses or disastrous incidents where he brings girls home and loses control of himself. Where Murdoc jumps in and saves it from getting too out of hand, but at the same time exposes how he's basically been stalking Stu "for your own protection", with a side of decidedly voyeuristic intentions. Stu has . . . strong (and somewhat confused) feelings about this.

I think Murdoc would be the same trouble magnet in the vampire underworld that he was in the criminal one. Feelings about Murdoc range from "this unwashed oik should NEVER have been allowed to become one of us" to "I WILL STAKE MURDOC FAUST NICCALS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO". Murdoc would definitely continue his streak of petty crime any time he entered the hallowed halls of the vampire hoi poloi. He'd be pilfering left and right. And I can't imagine he'd ever kowtow to the aristocracy, which, in a subculture as obsessed with class as vampires . . . yeah, he's insolent, to say the least. And they hate it. They just hate Murdoc, generally. I imagine 2-D might consider crossing over to the dark side to join them, to spite Murdoc, before eventually he realizes that - amazing as it sounds - even Murdoc has higher moral standards than these people. Maybe he's better off with the devil he knows.

I love what you said about Murdoc and Stuart being hung by the same rope, for all eternity. That's exactly the dynamic I think a vampire AU would bring about. I also think Murdoc being Stu's vampire sire would be interesting in the romantic sense, as part of them would always second guess if that was the reason for the bond they feel. Are they developing feelings, or is all of this just the blood bond? I can imagine Stuart hating his own inability to judge why he feels so drawn to Murdoc, and I can see Murdoc trying to convince himself any possessiveness or pride or protectiveness he feels over Stu is just what all vampires feel when they turn someone. (Even though it's not.) It would be a potent brew.

Anyway, this was long but I will never have the time to actually write this (I have five WIPs in other fandoms already) so I thought I'd let it out somehow. Thanks for giving me the space to talk this over!

(If anyone wants to run with this and make something of it, by the way, have at it! Just credit me somewhere for the idea. That'd be good.)

This was quite a ride! I love the idea of Stuart Pot's mortal life ending when he's mowed down in a Tesco car park buying condoms and Tango. It's cruel to say it's what he deserves and frankly the complete antithesis of the whole conflict I'm begging for, but... it's what he deserves. I'm also very intrigued by the angle of treating bloodlust as an addiction: it could theoretically be overcome, but practically speaking, rarely is. This makes it easy to see how Murdoc spins off into such a cartoonishly extreme life of debauchery. I love the bit about Murdoc changing his story of what happened, both the night he hit Stuart and his own origin-- the difference being that Stu does know what happened to him, whether he ever chooses to believe Murdoc's ever-shifting justifications for it or not, but no one can ever really know where Murdoc came from except himself. I definitely agree that the truth has to be less glamorous, less thrilling, less worthy of tales and legends. I like Stuart and Murdoc best when they are not men born into greatness nor men born for greatness, not inherently, and I love the private grappling with the belief that they are special and the fear that they probably aren't. Your explanation of the foil-like dynamic between vampires and spirits/ghosts is interesting, I don't know if that's an established piece of vampire lore or if that's your own invention, but I think it's a really solid one. I don't know if I've truly seen those two creatures explored in a world together with such a direct emphasis on that ghoulish ecosystem, so to speak.

And, well, I'm quite predictable but I'm ready to invest $5k in a full novel exploring Stu's estrangement from his family and friends following the transformation, the psychological toll it takes to choose-- though he may feel he has no other choice at all-- to abandon those relationships, how his own descent may mirror Murdoc's as he shelters himself in chalk-tablet excess and a vibrant, at times frightful carnal life to distract himself from the guilt. I'm dying to see how he could approach mending those fences again after years away. It isn't something one sweeps under the rug, isn't something that he can make amends for. This sort of thing shatters a family, and in my imagining of Rachel and David, it certainly shattered his. This kind of permanently-marred family drama really captivates me and is something I don't think we should shy away from in stories about addiction, and it would be fascinating to explore the human element of that against the metaphorical monstrous one.

I love what you mentioned about the "blood bond" and how it factors into the pull between them they're too unsettled to really name. This adds an extra layer of confusion, as you say, and better justifies why they find themselves orbiting each other, pretending there's a blood-coloured chain tethering them and ignoring the heavy weighted padlock in the middle that pulls them down, down, down. I've spoken a lot on this blog about why Stu is participatory in the relationship when he dislikes Murdoc in such a profound way, and while I absolutely never tire of the messy, bleak human weakness and ego of that, it would be quite special to explore that with something that almost feels like an excuse for Stu, a macabre justification entirely out of his hands; it gives him permission to be part of this broken spiral and absolves him of the responsibility of acknowledging his choice. I'd like to think he still lives with it, as Murdoc does too, but they may appreciate the safety of the smokescreen as much as they struggle to see through it.

Thanks for sending me your ideas, I hope other readers will enjoy seeing your elaborations, and if you're having fun thinking about these two goons I'd encourage you to consider making a blog. Sometimes you get lucky and draw in people who are incredibly kind!

(Lastly, unrelated fun fact about vampirism in my life: my first job was playing a vampire at a haunted amusement park. Our "Scare Zone" was designed as a junkyard taken over by a vampire gang, and I was the "queen" with a throne made of old tires. It was... a fun job and also not a fun job, haha.)

#anon au #thank you!

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your-rose-highness · 4 years ago

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Tell me what is Love (ch- 10)

Pairing- Baekhyun x OC

Special Appearance- JB of GOT7

“So I was thinking, I could take you on a date soon?”, Jaebeom shyly confessed as the two took a walk by the Han river.

After the quick celebratory hug with jane, Jaebeom, and hye hee sneaked out of the apartment post-dinner. Hye hee felt young after so long. Being in that moment with him as he tried to cure the awkwardness voicing his random thoughts, seemed like a spring day. As they drove away to the Han river, she rolled down the windows and felt the crisp breeze embrace her face. Jaebeom stole glances at her. Something about her seemed so calming to him, yet she looked so drained all the time. He was sure it was more of an emotional turmoil than physical and thus the smiles rarely reached her eyes. At the present moment, she looked like a child. It made him feel warm.

“Yes, maybe tomorrow?”, she hinted.

“Surely! I’m more than glad you agreed. Any place you would prefer?”

She turned to him with playful eyes before saying, “surprise me.”

Jaebeom pressed his lips together taken aback by her sudden boldness. Not that he was complaining. This was a new her that he was seeing and it was beautiful.

The riverside was quiet, with barely anyone walking past them. It was one of those times when you feel so comfortable with another as you bare your soul out for them. Lying on the grass, they told stories of their childhood, both listening to each other attentively. They laughed at the hilarious anecdotes while spotting funny shapes within the stars. Hye hee forced her brain to stop wandering to Baekhyun. This was a moment she had craved for years and why was she feeling guilty? As she tried to peel away from his thoughts, she felt Jaebeom’s hand brush against hers softly. They turned to each other in surprise, both inching away. Jaebeom’s ears turned red in embarrassment and for hye hee it was an instinct she had developed over the years.

Just grab his fucking hand reasoned her brain yet something stopped her. She forced herself to place her hand beside his. Picking up courage, her fingers reached him subtly and the two shyly looked at each other once again. This time, Jaebeom fingers curled into hers. She couldn't explain the rush she felt. The warmth of his palm traveled through her body making her shiver.

“Are you cold?”, Jaebeom worriedly asked.

His voice full of concern made her smile, it was so akin to someone she knew, without realizing her heart was still in the old place, striving to find similarities, though unconsciously.

“A little bit.”, she replied in a small voice and Jaebeom immediately proceeded to take off his denim jacket.

He fretted around her, trying to help her put on the jacket without actually having to hold her. The two walked around once again, this time hands clasped tight. Sipping on their hot coffees, they watched the sunrise and the golden gleam strengthened their hopes. Hye hee watched him soak in the sun. it was almost as if his skin reflected off the golden rays making them his own. He was beautiful. Laying her head on his shoulder, she looked out towards the wonderful spectacle that unfolded before them.

“I’m sorry I kept you up all night.”, Jaebeom said as he played with hye hee’s fingers.

“Well. it was long due anyway. Let us skip work too!”, she responded filled with sudden excitement.

Jaebeom smiled widely in shock at her. “What? Hahaha. Do I need to submit the files you know? What do you want to do though? Maybe we can get out early to grab lunch and have fun later. What do you say?”

“I’d love that.”, she whispered, snuggling closer to him.

Jaebeom dropped hye hee soon later, hardly being able to part ways. She found the house cold as she stepped in. jane had left behind a note on the refrigerator.

‘Wanted to wait for all the details, but realized I have a test. You're booked for the evening.

PS- I WANT TO HEAR EVERYTHING!’

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“ARE YOU SERIOUS, BYUN BAEKHYUN?”, Lee Sooman roared at him as he stood in front of him, head hanging in shame. “The company suffered an immense loss of investors when this scandal unfolded and though the people have been most gracious and welcoming about you two, now, this!”

“I’m very sorry, sir.” Baekhyun gulped. He had decided to take this bullet by himself, leaving Taeyeon out. The backlash would be brutal on her and he didn't think she was to blame.

“What about Taeyeon?”, he asked, settling down on his chair, his eyes never leaving Baekhyun.

“We both want the same thing, sir.”

Mr. lee shook his head in disbelief at every word, pondering over how he can handle this incoming tsunami. Baekhyun peeked to look at him and continued, “Sarang will mostly be out of this. We will shield her from the public eye….”

“Sit.”, he suddenly whispered. Baekhyun cautiously trod over to the seat opposite to him.

“I’m sorry, but this isn't something that could be overlooked so easily. There are investors, partners that run this damn company. Marriage was one thing, but now divorce? It won't be simple. There might be a potential danger to both your careers and you better take care of that child.”

“I’m ready to take responsibility.”

Mr. Lee simply gave him a stare the whole time, before sighing deeply.

Baekhyun was walked through all the formalities before leaving the company that day. His freedom was going to cost him this time. As he drove home, his mind wandered over to hye hee. He hadn't heard from her for a while but refrained from involving her in the mess that was in front of him. He will be the center of attraction once again and peered from every crack like an animal. As he drove to his parents to break the news to them, he stopped a while at the tiny park of his old neighborhood. The place he had first kissed Hyehee and ironically also where he lost her. Sitting in his car by the empty park, he replayed the simpler times as his eyes closed for a minute.

-----------------------------------------------------

hye hee was furious. Her senior had called off her work for being half-assed in front of the whole office and Jaebeom had seen it all. She didn't like how pitifully he had looked at her. Rushing to the coffee room to fix herself and calm down, she found him enter minutes later, closing the door softly behind himself.

“Hey.”

“I’m fine.”

Jaebeom approached her slowly, holding her hand as she stood waiting for the coffee. Their eyes met briefly before she complained, “she never told me what kind of content she was looking for, you know. And now she just yells at me. It wasn’t my fault. Why today of all days? I’m so embarrassed.”

Despite her whining, Jaebeom was smiling ear to ear.

“What’s so funny?”, she shot at him, pissed.

He laughed at her annoyed pouty face and ruffled her hair, “ because you look adorable right now.”

“Waah. are you flirting with me right now?”

Raising her hand to his lips, he softly murmured against her palm, “if I haven’t even begun.”, proceeding to kiss it.

Hyehee’s legs swayed as his voice intoxicated her, forcing Jaebeom to hold her closer. The air thickened between them, their lips only inches apart. She scurried back on her feet, freeing herself from his embrace. Jaebeom's ears turned red and stuttered to find words.

"Yah, why were you…"

She retorted without letting him finish, "I wasn't falling, okay? There were people outside." Jaebeom turned around to see if anyone could see them, and the realisation hit her- the door is opaque. Mentally cursing her lack of ability to make believable excuses, she met his playful eyes this time. His lips pressed into a suppressed smile he mouthed 'dumbo' at her. Hye hee slapped his arm in desperation and left the room.

"Take the coffee, Hye hee!", He teased.

"I want tea."

He laughed loudly at her tiny voice.

The rest of the day, the two kept at it. Jaebeom's change of demeanor came as a surprise. He usually was very reposed and a man of very few words. He was opening up to her and didn't wish to hold himself back. Hyehee cheeks never went pale for the day. Even at his glance, she’d blush to the point where her co-worker asked if something was wrong. Nobody had yet guessed that they were dating each other.

“Cold noodles and fried chicken, please.”, hye hee placed her order at the restaurant during lunch, beaming at the waiter.

“Are you sure you can eat it all? The portion sizes in here are a little bigger than usual.”, Jaebeom wondered.

“Oh don't worry, I can eat a lot for lunch, but dinner, that’s the tricky one for me.”

Halfway through lunch, Jaebeom’s phone beeped, and whatever it was, it made his eyebrows scrunch.

“What?”, Hyehee asked with cheeks full of noodles.

He snorted at her and pushed his cellphone towards her.

“He wants the new parts done. I’ll have to stop by my place to get the rest of the clips. I was going to get the hard drive tomorrow, but looks like this particular project has the boss on edge for some reason.”

“Okay, I’ll finish fast and we can go.”

“Yah. eat slowly.”, he scolded, “you’re gonna get indigestion. Also, could you chew through the whole thing? There’s no hurry. I’ll quickly drop you at the office and drive back.”

hye hee wanted to answer, but she chewed her last mouthful carefully before drinking the soup, “Why do you have to drop me? I can come with you. There’s no reason for you to make such long trips for one file.”

Scrunching his face, puzzled, he stammered “Yo-you’re okay with coming over to my place?”

Hyehee nodded quickly, confused why Jaebeom would ask that. He always comes over to her place, it’s only fair.

“Okay”, his face went blank in surprise.

Throughout the drive, he didn't say a word and had avoided looking at hye hee.

What is he so worried about? Did he have his underwear sprawled throughout the apartment and was now thinking of how to clean up? Or, was he a dirty guy? Maybe his place stinks? What do men have to worry about so much?- were the thoughts running through her head.

She had only been to one man’s apartment all these years and it was Baekhyun. Of course, she didn't know if he kept his pass traits, but that guy was always a mess. When the two took apartments next to each other after they came to Seoul, she would organize his things whenever she came over. After complaining about how dirty his apartment was, he proposed to only meet up at her place. He did bother to clean up if she was coming over and it was cute. He’d whine about how hard vacuuming was and would curse scientists to not have made another invention to block dust entirely.

The memory made her smile. Strolling through her memory lane, she had forgotten where and with whom she was.

Jaebeom on the other hand had other things in mind.

The apartment was what modern decor would call, minimalist. There were a few plants by the window and only that added some color. Apart from that, he had a wall full of polaroids, mostly of random objects, animals, his friends, and family. Hyehhe carefully scanned them to find an old picture of Jaebeom, in his school uniform, and a cat. His facial features hadn't changed and the smile had remained. Jaebeom cleaned on his way to his study, diving into the cave of hard drives, finding the one he wanted only minutes later. On seeing her walking over to the window, he stood still, observing her. She booped her nose to the monstera plant that his friends had gifted him, touching it softly with her fingers. A feeling of delight washed over him seeing her there. He wanted to hold her close to him and take care of her.

hye hee then turned to look at him, beaming.

“This dingy apartment looks nicer with you in it.”, he exclaimed.

“Well I am quite a ray of sunshine.”, she cheekily responded.

Moving to close distance, she wrapped her hands around him, laying her head on his chest. Jaebeom pulled her close to himself, kissing her forehead, “I’m afraid I’m falling in love with you.”

Laced in each other’s embrace, she looked at him with the most alluring way, “sweep me off my feet.”

Jaebeom slowly approached her lips, brushing it against his, looking for signs of approval. As he hesitated, hye hee stands on her toes to kiss him this time, making Jaebeom hold her closer to him. Stopping suddenly, Jaebeom pulled away from the breathless hye hee.

“Are you sure, you want to do this, I mean…”

“Oh, shut up.”, hye hee cried out, cutting him midway as she kissed him again.

She could feel Jaebeom’s lips curve into a smile against hers. The hard drive lay forgotten as the time stood still for them in each other’s embrace.

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“You brought a lawyer?”, Baekhyun whispered through his teeth.

“Well, you should too.”

“Why do we need a lawyer?”, he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well, the assets, parenting rights…”, she made him count.

“What do you mean parenting rights? Sarang is my daughter too.”, he snarled.

“Just come out. We can't make Mr. Mae waiting. It’s rude.”, she said, slamming the door behind her.

Baekhyun closed his eyes in defeat and followed her, leaving a huge sigh. Mr.Mae was a well-known lawyer and had already seated himself on the table, and had laid a bunch of papers in front of him.

“Ah, yes. Please. Lets’s begin, I have another appointment with a client in the next 3 hours.”, Mr. Mae chided at Baekhyun.

“Then you can go ahead. We won't be needing you.”

“Baekhyun!”, Taeyeon whispered under her breath, while Mr. Mae only laughed soullessly.

Baekhyun sat with a sour expression the entire time as Mr. Mae listed everything that needed to be done. Celebrities couldn't just get a divorce as they wish and entailed a bunch of ways to be free from the public eye.

“....but Mr. Byun will be allowed to visit…”, he continued.

“Excuse me, allowed?”, Baekhyun roared, making Mr. Mae look up from his papers through the top of his glasses.

“Yes, Taeyeon asked for almost full parenting rights.”, he confessed.

“I just don't think you’ll be able to take care of our daughter with everything going on and also with you leaving home unannounced to meet girls.”, she retorted, her face devoid of expression.

“I’m sorry, Mr.Mae, but Taeyeon and I need to talk about this bit of the agreement before proceeding. I have never been irresponsible towards Sarang. You’re making this personal and I won't have it.”, he thundered before storming out of the house. As the cold breeze slapped his face, his face stung with warm tears that escaped. Letting out an ear wrenching scream of despair, he broke down in unstoppable tears, praying that the hurt would stop.

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kryptsune · 4 years ago

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Kit’s OC Time {Part 2}

🌼So I got this wonderful ask from @chocolatetwix and I got super excited. There is a lot here so I just decided to make a huge post about it. That and I can save it and work on it too so that’s a bonus. You can’t really do that with asks. This will be in a couple different parts so that it’s not too overwhelming!

Let’s continue!

Costume/ CC: Back in my DA days I used to draw a lot of animals and I had a fursona as well. Now I am not sure if I am going to keep her or not but I do actually still like her design. I might just tweak it a tad.

I have an incredible piece of artwork from Nukerooster of her and I just need to share. Go check them out as well (>>>LINK HERE<<<)

Akuma: Another fluffy boy but I have this OC named Akuma, original... I know. He will most likely make an appearance in my Hell world once I re work him a bit. Basically he was a demon that caused a lot of Chaos and havoc but messed with the wrong village. Mid transformation he got a blessed sword rammed through his chest keeping him that way until the sword is released. It also perpetually bleeds, never heals, and drains his power. Poor demon baby boy. Also I realize that he is old... but like... I still love his design if that is even possible. He used to be red in color which I will post and then I redrew him a few years ago to see how he would look more current. Now he is teal ish.

Nuke also did this incredible one of Akuma.

Because of my major I sometimes randomly come up with cute RPG character designs and I really wanted to do one of little monster animals. I created this little guy during one of my classes.

Spip: He is a little vampire ghost bunny. The cross shaped vile around his neck is filled with his HP restore (Blood) If you have a lot the vial will be full but if you don’t have enough it will deplete over time. Poor little Spip just wants to be friends with people but because of what he is they run away. He is kind of my homage to Bunicula if anyone remembers that book. I have ideas for his little buddies too like a Frankenstein cat and so forth. Just a cute little idea.

Lastly we have the Infernum (name will probably change I am kind of thinking about calling it Twisted Otherworlds or just Otherworlds) cast which is even larger than the Hell side and I don’t even want to think about that right now X’D It is a little overwhelming. What I do have however are some of the designs I made for them, costume wise. This was back during my fashion degree projects. Think realms with twisted fairytale characters that happen to used to be real people from different periods in time. This is the point I really started to dig into the horror genre and it kind of shows though looking back I think I always kind of have been...

The story is basically a fairytale romp and during the day light hours it’s perfectly fine all zanny and fun but at night is a whole other story. You see the souls that live in these Realms used to be living breathing people. The only thing is that if you end up here though you lose all memory of that life. The Madness which is like a magical curse infects these souls and turns them into their own personal fears or horrors. It’s all back story based and intense so I won’t go into it. There are different monsters and characters and even though it’s an older idea I do think it still has a lot of potential. The realms of the Muses so to speak. Their day and night are switched as well so no matter where you are in the world you dream in the daylight and it’s night there soooo your usually going to get a pretty lucid horrifying nightmare but if you sleep during the night time you will have good dreams. Just don’t fall asleep during the day light hours X’D

Anywhoo! Here are some of my favorites and again these are really old so their designs will be tweaked for the long run. I also apologize for the quality the actual PSD files are not on my laptop so I have to settle with the project photos I took a long time ago. In order you have the Rae the Black Rabbit, Lucian the Hatter, Ace the Cheshire Cat, Crow (probably change the spelling) the Scarecrow, The Woodsman, and one of Pan’s Lost Boys. I also included the top hats I made for them because I still think they are pretty neat!

There are also some REALLY old designs for the Twisted Otherworld characters. They had more of an anime flair to them. That said there are a couple characters that I want to share since they are actually important despite the artwork being older than Methuselah.

Maximillian March/ Mad March: Crazy March Hare? I think so. He is a puppet master of sorts in the story and I have to redraw him but he has these deep swirly eyes and sharp teeth. (huh... looks like that design choice happened a long time ago... WELP)

Tweedles: One of my friends was able to pick this out immediately but yea... these are the Tweedles. Their nightmarish 1910′s gas mask Orwellian horror cyborg versions anyway. I have a full image of Dee somewhere that I need to find... (edit) AH there he is... btw I was like 15 when I did this design so I gotta question what the heck was going through my brain.. unless it was that Doctor Who episode with the children that just freaked me out... yeah.. that was probably it. Are those real organs and muscles you ask... yes... yes they are.

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gross-gal · 4 years ago

Note

yo!! i dont know jackshit about Darkstalkers!! What's it about?? What do you like about it?? What do you NOT like about it?? Tell me alll!!!! (@gamer-gremlin-gf-ships)

AAAAAA THANK YOU @gamer-gremlin-gf-ships

SO. I’LL PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT.

Darkstalkers is a fighting game developed by Capcom. The main gimmick is that, most of, the fighters are based off of horror archetypes. So ya got vampires, zombies, frankensteins, fishmen, ghosts, all that shit.

There isn’t really much story wise I can elaborate on since, fighting games don’t usually have that much of a story to begin with. BUT, in Darkstalkers 1 and 2, main story is that this big bad dude named Pyron kinda wants to determine if the Earth is worthy to be ruled under him or if he’ll destroy it. Pyron is a shape shifting alien dude from the planet, Hellstorm and he’s really looking for a good brawl so he goes and fights the most powerful Darkstalker, which is whoever you choose to play as.

Now then, to avoid confusion, Darkstalkers 1 and 2 (or Vampire Hunter/Night Warriors: Darkstalkers’ Revenge) are basically the same game. 2 is more of an updated version of 1, has two new characters, better gameplay, and it also changes some part of the story because Demitri (the vampire dude) actually was the one who originally started the whole tournment thing in determining who was the most powerful and I think? Pyron kinda ends up in the way. In 2, it basically is changed to Pyron is the one that starts the tournament, and that’s the canonical version.

So 2 isn’t really that much of a sequel, while Darkstalkers 3 (or Vampire Savior) is an actual sequel to the series. This introduces the antagonist, Jedah Dohma, whose plot is that he wants to collect all the powerful darkstalker souls and put them into this big demon baby, which then be used as a vessel for him. Jedah’s whole thing is that he’s basically disappointed in what has become of the demon world (makai world) and decides that he’s going to annihilate both the demons and humans. He sees himself as a savior, and while there really isn’t a protag, Jedah kind of is considered to be one in 3.

NOW. WHAT IS A DARKSTALKER? It’s literally just...fucking monster? I guess? There really isn’t a specific definition but just know, everyone, besides B.B. Hood because she’s the only true human in the series, is a Darkstalker.

Just gonna get my problems out of the way. Obviously, the series has some sexual stuff, which is fine but it can get uncomfortable. Demitri is a pretty big example since he literally has an ability that just involves transforming the opponent into a younger, more desirable person so that he can drain their blood? I won’t go to into it since it’s gross but yeah. Then of course there’s Lilith and yeah...REALLY WISH THEY DIDN’T MAKE HER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE SHE’S A PRETTY COOL CHARACTER.

Darkstalkers also doesn’t offer much as far as a story, this is sort of good because it offers a lot of freedom as far as writing, but to be honest? A lot of stuff which tries to elaborate on the Darkstalkers lore or whatever, KIND OF SUCKS. I myself, am not into the Udon comics or the mangas, the OVA also doesn’t offer much of a great story. Which is a shame because Darkstalkers has a lot of potential but so many attempts, just kinda fail because they miss the point in the series. Udon and the Vampire Savior manga in particular because they take the series way too seriously or just characterize really strangely? The OVA probably offers the best in terms of story but it’s not even much because the only actual good and satisfying one, is Donovan’s story. His is the only one that actually has a conclusion. Otherwise, the OVA suffers from poor pacing, lots of exposition, or just OOC moments. LIKE??? REALLY DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AS TO WHY FELICIA GETS ALONG WITH ZABEL OR MORRIGAN ENDING UP WITH DEMITRI?

And then I guess a more minor complaint. Darkstalkers has a very specific style, I really think the series look best in the first two games and in the OVA. I personally am not a big fan of the character art in 3 jdskal

NOW FOR THE POSITIVES.

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MUCH I ADORE THE ART AND ANIMATION IN THE SERIES????

The main artists for the series are Bengus (Gouda Cheese) and Daigo Ikeno. Bengus really fucking nailed how the series should look. It’s got that perfect balance of the gothic, sensual aesthetic with exaggeration and fuckin weirdness of the series. Darkstalkers is a series that completely embraces it’s wacky side and just how campy it’s influences are. I mostly love Bengus’ earlier works from 1 and 2. Daigo’s stuff is much more casual and less elaborate compared to Bengus’ works but I kinda love that, he’s really great at showing off the characters in more casual situations and showing off their goofier sides. I’ll share some of my favorite pieces at the end.

OH GOD. AND HOW CAN I NOT BRING UP THE ANIMATION???

While I wouldn’t say it’s as fluent as Street Fighter Alpha 3′s sprites, because Darkstalkers is able to be more creative with it’s moves, the results are some super wacky and fun animation. Darkstalkers animators heavily referenced old Looney Tunes and Hanna Barbera cartoons when it came to animating. I really don’t know a whole lot of fighting games, especially from Capcom, that look the way Darkstalkers looks. And a lot of that comes from the fact that Darkstalkers isn’t very limited. Characters can launch missles, fireballs, fucking blood?. Characters can extend or manipulate their body. Or just do weird shit like transform characters into basketballs, make characters perform in a rhythm game?, A CHARACTER STRAIGHT UP USES HIS ASS CHEEKS TO GRAB YOU AND SUMMON LIGHTNING?? Everything is super fucking wild and that’s what makes the series.

A lot of people say Darkstalkers needs to be gorey and sexual but that’s really not what the series is about. Yes, Darkstalkers is def sensual but it also really doesn’t take itself seriously. That’s what so many people miss. And honestly? Even though it was terrible, the American cartoon ends up being the most accurate to the source material because it gives no fucks and so much weird shit just happens.

Another thing I love about Darkstalkers is how much it subverts it’s characters and just how creative they got. You have an Australian zombie rockstar, a catlady that’s also an idol and a nun??, a demon possessed samurai ghost armor guy. The character design is genuinely fucking brillant and not at all what you’d expect to get when given the idea for monster characters. I would talk about the characters but you see how long this post is starting to get.

And I haven’t talked that much about gameplay but Darkstalkers feels fucking great. If you’re curious about which game to get into, absolutely go with 3/Vampire Savior. It feels great, combo inputs are relatively simple, you can straight up beat the game just by button mashing, and no character really feels too similar. It’s also a very fast game too, if you ever watch tournaments, they go by so fast and when you play it, you’re very much engaged. It’s a game that requires a lot of attention and I enjoy that. I also have to mention this but, pretty much every character has their own unfair, bullshit tactic that, if you plan on getting good, will require you to figure out how to avoid depending on what character you use. There’s a sorta popular joke with the game that, it’s balanced if all the characters are broken. I’ll admit, probably not the best game for someone like me that sucks as far as remembering stuff and being able to plan ahead, but I still have lots of fun with the game!

I really didn’t expect to become as engaged in the series as I did but there is a lot to appreciate about Darkstalkers. It’s unfortunate to because, sadly, Darkstalkers likely will never get another game.

While the series is technically popular, it’s still way too niche compared to most fighting games. It just never had the same impact as other fighting games, and ultimately, no matter how good those games feel to play, there’s always shit like Marvel vs Capcom that just is more well known and features more stuff that just is what people prefer going to. I think Capcom will pretty much stick with having Darkstalkers characters appear in crossover games vs actually giving the franchise another game

They tries reviving it with Resurrection, which was a re-release of the games on Xbox and Playstation, but it hardly even sold that many copies. Which is where the phrase “Darkstalkers are not Dead” originated from, a phrase that has become a joke now in the fighting game community. Even if they were to revive the series, it’d be difficult recapturing that same vibe since most of the original crew are working on completely separate projects. There’s also a part of me that does fear the idea of another game because of how it’ll be handled. I’ve heard people mention possibly having the Skullgirls team develop or maybe Arc Systems, I just don’t want a lot of the charm to be lost in a sequel.

Since a fighting game isn’t really possible, I do hope for maybe a show or comic series that explores the characters and story more.

My brain is kinda blanking rn but yeah. I just fucking love this series a lot. I hope maybe someday I can contribute something great to this franchise and I hope you listened to me ramble about it.

#i am so fucking sorry #but thank you djsakljdskalda #Anonymous

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thesagedahlia · 5 years ago

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🕊Cassie: A Caged Bird Set Free🕊

When it comes to Cassie, I do find it unfortunate that all she ever was associated with was being Diddy's girlfriend for a good chunk of her youth. I always felt she could have been a larger star had she gotten from under Diddy, but I always felt she had potential to take other paths in her career. I truly believe it was the lifestyle that kept Cassie with him, because she never struck me as a "happy woman" being with him. Diddy is a pretty toxic individual, that's plain as day, but I don't feel he would ever own up to abuse that he put ANY of his women through, let alone Cassie (when I say 'abuse', I'm speaking generally & not directly relating this to solely physical abuse). Seeing Cassie with Alex & her new family? THAT'S happiness. No matter what I pick up in the cards I put down, I refuse to deny the complete 180° Cassie's story took; from being on the arm of a powerful mogal, to being with a true soulmate & feeling the high of life. I always believed that Cassie was meant to have a certain lifestyle, & I never saw her wanting to be in the public eye all her life. I never wanted Cassie to stay with Diddy because I knew she was going to want her life back one day, & that's exactly what happened.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

🕊What is Cassie's default demeanor/personality❔

She has a lot of compassionate & divine/magical energy, & she is a person that is always seeking for knowledge. She truly has the best intentions in mind for other people, & she is the type of person to help those in need without expecting anything in return. She has woken up to her self & her own personal power, but she is denying her emotional truth. I get there might be a masculine energy watching over her as well, could be a family member or an ancestor. I feel like when it comes to how she is truly feeling, she is able to trick others into believing that she is okay, & I think she does a lot of that with her husband. He is very protective of her & she likes to ease his worries about how she feels, but I feel like he knows when she's trying to brush off her anxieties/sadness. She does this to avoid a confrontation or conflicting conversation that will upset her. She has coping mechanisms when it comes to leaving people out of her emotional current, & again, this is something that Alex is starting to notice. She is still holding onto her trauma & she hides it with excessive enthusiasm, but she could be coping with either depression or deep sadness. I feel she is coming out of it & she is slowly recovering because she still feels a little defensive when it comes to have something that feels like a blessing to be taken away from her; she has up an emotional wall but Alex is helping it slowly, but surely, come down. What is also showing up here is that she has a love for art of all forms, & she is even talented in many pursuits herself; I feel like she has many more (secret) talents that a lot of people don't know. We definitely don't know Cassie as much as we may seem, there is definitely so much more to her.

🕊What is surrounding Cassie at this time❓

I'm actually getting a gross energy trying to get to her (I have psychic reasoning to believe it's Diddy), & it honestly feels like it is something that's trying to distress her. I have a feeling Diddy, people from Diddy's camp, who are mutual friends of Diddy, or people close to Diddy, try to get through to her via social media, but they may be people trying to keep tabs for Diddy or he may be trying to get back in with her as a friend, through others. I feel she is suspecting that this person (we can speculate that is Diddy; this person has had a possessive, deceitful energy, & she has a history of love with) well try to gain sympathy for their past together in the public eye. She doesn't seem to trust this person due to a checkered past (now who else would that be?). Meanwhile, Cassie is in a more stable/secure place in her life, & this kind of stress is the last thing she needs. It really feels like a dark cloud that is looming over her & trying to get to her. Either she has been hearing from him recently or she is going to be hearing from him soon. I feel she tries not to let it get to her, but I feel it interferes with her focus on her marriage at times. She has been coming into her own since she released herself from the past, which allowed her to neglect herself by being devoted to a fault. Since releasing from the past, Cassie has been redirected on to her correct path all at once. I still feel she has her days, but her marriage with her husband helps her to heal. She's awakened a lot since Diddy, & she is seeing the truth of her past with him through the emotional fog. She's been working hard to heal her heart chakra, & she feels like she's finally reaching a place of emotional security. I feel a big worry for her is allowing herself to open to abuse, as she's done in the past. I feel there are times where she can't be open about these things with her husband because she doesn't want him to worry about that. She is wanting to move on from the hurt that has been having a hold on her, & she doesn't have any intent on rehashing her past, since there is a lot of sadness she still feels; stuff like trauma that doesn't go away overnight, that will take her some time to heal from.

🕊What was the relationship dynamic between Cassie & Diddy❔

I'll tell you there wasn't much love on either side of the fence within this connection. For Cassie, she is very artistically & intuitively inclined, & she was determined to make a stable foundation for herself. I feel like she was able to keep a professional relationship with Diddy & that was where she wanted to keep it. She even had an entrepreneurial spirit that had plans she wanted to execute. Unfortunately for her, Diddy was in a controlling energy when it came to what was going to be done with her career. Diddy on the other hand had every intention to fulfill a desire, or muse with Cassie. In fact, I'll go as far as to say that he had power to block any opportunities that she could possibly achieved without him. He himself was acting out through a childhood trauma & wounding. Diddy was dealing with a lot of demons (I won't say hes necessarily faced (all of) them) which allowed him to project his saboteur energy on to his relationship with Cassie, which also made its way into her career. Cassie was able to financially capitalize off of the way she looked without compromising the power of her own spirit; then comes Diddy. I won't say that she was forced to stay with him under his will, in fact she was free to do whatever she wanted, but only as long as it was with Diddy & it was within his personal restrictions. She's seen that man's shadow on many occasions, as we can imagine, & as she seen that overtime he allowed them to grow & thrive, much to her disdain. She has thought to leave the situation many a times before actually leaving. Diddy, in many ways, was trying to recapture his youth with Cassie, & it was actually a total drain of her own personal power. They created a toxic trauma/soul tie with each other, which is why Cassie is still uneasy about it & why it took her so long to leave. I don't want to speculate too much regarding pregnancies, but I see a miscarriage or loss of a child being what finally brought her to her senses. She knew she wasn't going to get anything good out of being with him, & she had intense feelings & reasons to believe that he wasn't going to change/grow with her. So their relationship wasn't on a lovey-dovey side, not even in the least bit.

🕊 Will Cassie & Diddy reconnect; as friends❓

For Cassie, right now is a no, & I don't think she's sure about the future for the time being. She's very cognizant of his power & what he is capable of, & she doesn't believe he will change.

As for Diddy, Cassie's expectations seem to be correct, he's not going to be able to grow enough for her. I feel like it will take him to open up his being to heal his trauma; he has too much pride to admit it to himself, let alone heal it. He would not reach out in a genuine manner right now, that's for sure.

🕊 What is surrounding Cassie & Alex Fine's marriage at this time❔

Right now, they seem to be hitting a rough patch, & it seems like there have been instances where Diddy, or people within his camp or close to him, has already trying to reach out & get in touch with Cassie. It feels like they've dealt with the 'elephant's in the room, which was the fact that she is still hearing from him, but Alex still feels a certain type of way about it, though he chooses to mask how he truly feels to his wife. He feels like he is fighting for her, or fighting to be with her, while Cassie finds this connection that she has with Alex to be a spiritually healing one; she has changed a lot, thanks to this marriage. She feels Alex/this connection has rescued her, & she believes this was a blessing/gift from her ancestors. I do feel Alex believes in Cassie's love for him, & he loves/trusts her in return; it's Diddy, & anyone associated with him, is what he doesn't trust. Alex feels Diddy is very unpredictable & unstable, based off of what his wife has told him, but I feel they have been open about nearly everything; what Alex DOESN'T speak on is his disdain & paranoia regarding the whole thing. He has a respect & recognition for her that he heavily rewards her with his loyalty. I feel he is a source for a lot of beautiful words & great advice to offer her as well, & she definitely learns from him, just as he learns from her. I feel Cassie's ancestors come to her & give her guidance dealing with Diddy's pop-ups & she is more aware of how to handle it; which is really to ignore him while she's trying to eject him from her system. It was a point where she would be on the verge of breaking down but her husband has been helping her through that. It really feels like they are trying to get over a dark cloud in their marriage, but they intend to be okay within the connection. I feel Alex has actually posed a threat along the lines of, "If you keep hear from them again, I'm going to say something", & I wouldn't be surprised if he already has. Overall, they're in a happy space together as a couple, & they continue to teach & uplift each other.

🕊 Will the Fine's marriage last for the long haul❓

There is potential for a long lasting marriage, but there is still this conflicting energy that is underlying & leaving one (or both) of them guarded. I'm getting that their meeting was destined & divinely orchestrated & it has room to go far, though there is still an unpredictability that needs sorting out. Despite there being the energy of opposites attracting one another, there is still love here that is unconditional. Concrete emotions/feelings have been established between them, but there is still external strife regarding an expected outcome (of a message). I feel legal action suggested to be taken after concern of this income. This feels like people who have caused stress or who was a part of her past life (with Diddy) that still try to reach out to Cassie, which causes her to have some stresses over it. I feel if a restraining order hasn't already been established, they are in talks with a lawyer about their options; they feel like Diddy is a huge concern for Cassie's mental/emotional health, as if he has ways of getting to her which she may be expectant of (I doubt any of this will be publicized, they plan to have a very private marriage life). I see her ancestors/guides pushing her to heal these parts of her that feels stagnant because of her past. Like I said before, she's getting there despite still having her moments. Despite dealing with this dark cloud energy, Cassie & Alex are actively building towards the future & have a 'wait & see' attitude about everything. There is emotional healing/purging that needs to happen before she could get into a confident place in her marriag, & the sense that she can brief about anxieties from the past. One thing I did see is that Cassie may want to branch out onto her own profession/career that she is passionate about but may be having some fears about how it will go & a part of her is worried that Diddy will be surface in her life in some way. Until she can heal from this trauma, she will be able to fully enjoy her marriage in confidence.

🕊 What lies in the future for Cassie + advice for her❔

Cassie will be facing her own emotional cycles, as well as fulfilling familial obligations. All of this new energy and experiences are able to be teachable on both ends of the spectrum; She is growing & learning with her husband & daughter, & she will be uncovering her true self in the process. She will be going through major changes/cycles that may take her through highs & lows, but it is all in an effort to achieve peace & balance in her life. She isn't finished with dealing with dark days where her emotions are uncontrollable, but she still plans to move forward. She's working through an energy that has made it hard to trust others, but Alex means her well so she is finding it easy to trust him, thereby learning to be open with others again in a more "organically Cassie" way. I feel there is a lot of inner turmoil that she isn't acknowledging or that she is holding onto. Caring for her daughter is helping to teach her patience and love in all forms. There is a duality that needs to be understood instead of oppressed. I also feel she has a lot of ideas/projects that she may want to invest in, but she never acted on that calling because of what she would be up against. I expect her to be very lowkey about her life in the public, as well as her marriage, & she may not even shared these passions or desires with many people. She believes she is destined to heal others through her own healing and that is her exact approach and motive from here on out (a career move she decides to take will probably be a reflection of that). She's allowing her ancestors/spirit team to guide her & she is working on her surrender to trust to the higher workings.

Advice: Cassie may be trying to heal a wounded energy child of hers. She may need to be careful expressing her pain or sadness their self destructive or uncontrolled ways. She has to be careful not to take on the world problems as her own, as well as an undiscovered or unexplored temper/anger that can build-up & manifest into something out of her control. There is also an issue of her being entrapped in her head that may be less than helpful to her. Cassie knees to allow all of herself to crumble what she is clinging on to so she can become inspired again; a 'destroy & rebuild' tactic. She should come to realize all in her life that is beautiful & find faith in being 100% open to any and all possibilities available to her. She needs to focus on lifting the veil around all that she use to allow as truth; she must have more of an questioning approach to everything. Anything unaligned with her spirit will need to be removed from her life, whether by her own doing or by the hand of spirit. She needs to approach things as a mediator for her own personal energy; she needs to be able to have neutral motives or fairness when it comes to herself & others, & she needs to establish the proper boundaries that will protect herself from those who mean her harm.

🕊 BONUS QUESTION:

😤 How does Alex Fine feel about Diddy + his kids (mainly his sons)❓

Alex feels Diddy is plotting behind the scenes, as he has actively tried to get under Cassie, & his, skin. He may be worried that Cassie's grief toward him is romantic, which is far from true. He harbors a lot of resentment for Cassie's past, & he doesn't trust that Diddy won't try to keep resurfacing. He also feels personally that Diddy thinks too highly of himself & his negative judgment of reality. He doesn't agree with his lifestyle, but he feels his motives/actions are coming from a hurt place. Alex's overall view of the Combs' brothers is that they are 'grown up products' of their father & to see them go down a certain route would be unfortunate to him. He also feels grief for 2/3s of the boys' loss of their mother (he slightly feels this grief for Diddy as well, which he feels contributes to his theory), & he finds it unfortunate they don't have a positive influence in their father. He does believe Diddy has some demons & darkness that dwells within him & that he is an unstable person.

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lailelizabeth · 5 years ago

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Not too long after we shot actress Elizabeth Lail for a fashion story and on location in very very cold New York City, we got cozy at our HQ to record this podcast.

Eloquent + fully present...talented, beautiful, and smart Elizabeth embodies all the qualities of a big star. She’s an actors actor, and, well, just a wonderful person. She’s rapidly built a loyal fan base, due to the cult following of Netflix series You and her character on the series, Beck.

And so we decided on this podcast to include some truly terrific questions from those very fans. We discuss her reverence for her craft, what to expect from You Season 2, her character, Leah, in beautiful indie film Unintended, and what it’s like to work on the set of a horror film. We talk her commitment to sustainability, her footwear of choice, her favorite books on acting, recommendations for what to catch on broadway, how she preps her skin before shooting, her idea of a perfect date night, and more. Listen in to hear the answers to all of your fan questions!

Podcast link

Tamara Rappa: So you studied acting in North Carolina. What's it like being in school for acting, and were there ever plans to come to New York for school?

Elizabeth Lail: I went to University of North Carolina School of the Arts for high school my senior year, and that molded my whole trajectory because, all of a sudden, I was surrounded by fellow artists. I was surrounded by my people. I didn't really know what the possibilities were in my small town. There aren't very many actors coming out of it. I fell in love with the school, so I wanted to go to college there. I drank all the Kool-Aid. I think I applied to maybe one school in New York, but the dream was to continue at the School of the Arts, and then move to New York or LA---I wasn't sure which.

TR: What do your friends do? Are they other actors? Other creatives?

EL: I would say it's split down the middle. You know, some people are really anti-actor…

TR: They are? Like friends from home, from a long time ago?

EL: I know people who are like, "Oh, I try to be around normal people."

TR: You're very normal.

EL: Oh, thank you. I love actors and I love artists. And then I love dentists and business people....

TR: You have a mixed group of friends.

EL: Totally.

TR: How does acting feed your soul?

EL: It's probably my number one source of food. It demands the truth from me, and so it's this really intense bullshit meter for me as a person, and as an instrument. It provides intense catharsis, I'm always questioning and challenging myself. It also demands that I be fully present.

TR: That's beautiful. Have you always wanted to act? I mean, were you a small child dreaming of this? What's your first memory of "I want to be a performer?"

EL: I didn't, again, know what the possibilities were at such a young age, but my sister and I were making home movies, and I would play every character in the movie. We had the board game Clue, and we loved that movie. So I played every character in Clue along with the board game. I'd be the Professor, and then Miss Scarlet. I wore a big sheet. So I guess I've been doing it forever, and I didn't realize until maybe I was 14 that that it could be a career path.

TR: What other things do you do to exercise your creativity, or is all your focus on acting these days? You've got a lot going on.

EL: Well I do take acting class, and I love it. It depends on the class, but if you find a teacher that you really love, it feels like going to church for your artistic spirit. But I feel like everything feeds my acting. Even just riding the subway. The more present I am in my real life, the more inspiration I'm taking in. I like to see theater. I like to be inspired by watching other things. I journal a lot, and also any kind of emotional response or anything I'm inspired by---I write down. I find later that it will tend to tie in with something I need for a character, or you just never know. So the world is so inspirational to me. Travel…everything feeds the actor's spirit, I think.

TR: How do you journal? Do you literally write things down? It's not in a Notes app on your phone? It's a book that you keep by your bedside?

EL: It's a book. I've got one in my bag. I have a light one for walking around, but I have a big, big, heavy one at home. Usually I journal first thing in the morning. It's usually stream of consciousness.

TR: Morning pages?

EL:Yeah. It's a little bit like The Artist's Way, morning pages, but I don't necessarily follow any strict kind of order. And sometimes, it's gratitude. Sometimes it's stream of consciousness, and then sometimes I feel like something is trying to speak to me.

TR: Ideas.

EL: Ideas, yeah. That's why it's always kind of worth going back to the page because you never really know what's going to reveal itself to you. And even sometimes if I'm working on a scene in the morning during that writing time, it just comes.

TR: Wow. That's powerful.

EL: It's what is wanting to be worked on, in my unconscious brain.

TR: A powerful tool. What does the book look like? Where do you get this book? This big, beautiful, heavy book?

EL: You know what's interesting about that one, it was a gift from Ferragamo, so it actually is really beautiful. But normally, journals find you. They're given to you or you buy one and you forget to use it, and then you're like, ‘oh, I have this great journal.’ They are untapped potential.

TR: Describe how your fame came on. What was it like hitting a million followers and acquiring a fan base? What is it like? Do you detach from it in some way?

EL: Oh boy, you know. I'm a little detached from it.

TR: You have to just keep being you, and doing the work.

EL: Yes. I think I was more excited when I got like 500,000 followers. That was a big milestone. And then after that you're like, ‘I'm still figuring this out, how am I going to use Instagram? What does it mean to me? How is this going to be a part of my work?’ I’m a little conflicted, because there's a school of thought where the more people know about you, the more exposure you have, the less believable you are as a character. All of a sudden your mystique goes away.

TR: Right. There are some actors that could never do certain roles, because they're so known for ...

EL: ...for something. And they certainly can do those roles. But it might take the audience a minute to readjust their brains.

EL: But obviously I have Instagram, and mostly I'm just really grateful. I think kind of hitting the million mark, in a way, could be really wonderful for my career. But I don't know that yet. You know, the hope is that people cast you based off of your work. And if you can serve the project with any kind of like following ...

TR: 100%. And, visibility.

EL: Visibility. Yes. Then it’s a great thing. That's always a great thing. Especially if you're making something smaller that really means something to you, that maybe needs a platform to get the word out. So it's exciting.

TR: Well, I will say, you have some lovely fans. And they've got some wonderful questions for you that we’re going to get to.

EL: I do. Oh, exciting!

TR: How are we seeing Beck in season two of You? And how is the series different this season?

EL: I mean, she’s back-ish. Right? Beck is back-ish. What was really cool about shooting season two though, is that we were in LA, which is very different than New York. And I would be in full Beck gear.

TR: Let’s talk about that. What is full Beck gear? What is Beck's look?

EL: Excellent question. Beck has curled hair that's meant to be kind of like undone, yet done. It's a little shorter than mine at the moment, and she always wears lots of jewelry. She has a staple necklace that's beautiful.

TR: What is the staple necklace exactly?

EL: It is a half moon with a diamond in it. It's made by Melissa Joy Manning.

TR: I love Melissa Joy Manning. She's a friend of mine. I love her jewelry.

EL: She's amazing. No way. I’ve become such a fan.

TR: We should go meet her. I could use a new piece from her!

EL: Yes we should go to her shop in Brooklyn. I've never been and I've been wanting to go, and I have really beautiful pieces from her. And obviously Beck would not be able to have a Melissa Joy Manning necklace, but in the world of television, she does! Beck is very much jeans. She likes a French tuck, and some kind of jacket. She's a little bit more small-town-dresser, I think, for someone who lives in New York. Keeping it pretty simple and as affordable as possible is Beck's look. And then boots, she's a boot girl. I would be in LA in the Beck getup, and people would recognize me as her and they would get so excited. That's something that's really different. Obviously when we were shooting season one, people were, you know, ‘what are you making? What's happening here?’

TR: In which parts of LA would you shoot?

EL: We were in Los Feliz, when we would go out in the world. And then in the Atwater village area.

TR: So that's a main difference between season one and season two, location.

EL: Yeah. And those are pretty defining. New York and LA are very defining cities, experience-wise. Have you spent a lot of time in LA? I have. I feel like I've lived there.

TR: I'm a native New Yorker and I lived in LA for years.

EL: My thoughts are that in LA, they have great food. Because I'm a vegan, and it's lovely to eat there.

TR: You can find fantastic food in LA.

EL: Healthy food everywhere. But I prefer New York. I'm much more inspired by New York.

TR: Everyone can watch you in the wonderful indie film, Unintended. It's currently on cable, Direct TV, Prime Video, iTunes, Google play.[Everyone] should see this film. It's terrific. Was it draining playing someone so mentally tormented and well, drug addicted? She was sort of addicted to her medication.

EL: Yes. It is draining, but I think acting is draining in general because you are giving so much of yourself. And that aspect, yes, because she is kind of always in this state of distress.

TR: That's what it is. It's more than being mentally tortured. Your character Leah is in a state of distress.

EL: She’s kind of figuring out her life. I would really have to go home and just do absolutely nothing every day.

TR: Is that right?

EL: That's the key. You just go home, you shower, you eat a little dinner and then you read, you do something else. Something nice for yourself.

TR: The production itself is beautiful, and I love how it contrasts with some of the difficult subject matter like physical abuse, alcoholism, painful divorce. Where did you shoot? It was beautiful.

EL: We were in Kingston, in and around Kingston, in upstate New York, in Minnewaska State Park. I love it up there. Since we've shot there, I go visit that area twice a year.

TR: It's a magical location.

EL: It's beautiful and all those little towns, you know, Woodstock, and Kingston---they all have cute restaurants. And then there's nature. I think when you live in New York you forget that.

TR: All of it is...

EL: ...so close by.

TR: In Unintended, Leah travels upstate with her father at one point in the film, but ends up spending her days there with longtime friend, Sam. How did she explain that to her father? We see her traveling upstate with her father, and he's going off to do a conference of some sort, and then she ends up spending a few days with Sam. Does she just decide that that's how she's going to spend her time upstate, because she needs some questions answered?

EL: Exactly. I think that her relationship with Sam is maybe closer to an actual father than her relationship with her dad. Sam was a little bit older. He was always kind of around, almost like a babysitter at times for her when she was young.

TR: And he was nurturing to her in some ways. He would feed her.

EL: He nurtured that wild and uninhibited spirit. And not that her parents weren't there. I just think that once the divorce happened, that was her breaking point, and she kind of shut down. That's the beginning of the shut-down, as early as their divorce when she's 11, or I guess she's 13. She's young. I think her relationship with her dad is strained. With her mom there's not a whole lot of communication going on, especially from her side, reasoning-wise.

TR: Did Leah shoot Bill? I wasn't sure.

EL: She didn’t. She did shoot the gun. I think it's meant to be unclear, but my understanding is that she didn't actually shoot him. It was just the fall that was so harsh for him, and so was being stuck down there. He basically was scared by the sound of the gun, and fell back into this cavern.

TR: What became of Leah's mother? Do we know?

EL: No she doesn't come up.

TR: I found that to be intriguing.

EL: I think it speaks to her current state. Her mother is somewhat villainized in the beginning, because she's the one having the affair. So she is essentially the one who breaks the family. And so I think that from Leah's perspective, her mom is not someone she wants to be close with. It’s such a painful break, especially if you felt like things were so stable for most of your life. So, yeah. We don't really know.

TR: What happens to Leah, do you think, after she finally understands this devastating time in her past and makes peace with Bill, what does she become? What does she go off and do in life?

EL: My hope is that she becomes an author of a novel. My hope is that she goes to therapy and moves back to nature, moves out of New York, becomes an author, and writes this story.

TR: Do she and Bill become a couple?

EL: I don't know. That's wishful movie magic thinking. Because he's got some issues. If they do become a couple, there are some struggles coming their way.

TR: And does she reconcile with her father?

EL: I hope so, I hope so. Sometimes I feel like the people we love the most are the last ones to get our grace and forgiveness and patience, so who knows?

TR: You also star in Countdown, recently in theaters. The horror film genre is hugely popular with people. What's the set of a horror film like?

EL: It's so fun. This one was so fun. It was exciting for me, because horror isn't necessarily my genre---I get really easily scared. And so if I'm going to watch a horror movie, it's got to be at home, where I can turn the sound off and block my eyes. But making one is really exciting because you get to do a lot of stunts, and there's all this incredible hair and makeup. Everyone was just so happy and grateful to be there. That's always the best set to be on, in any genre. To be with people who just love making movies.

TR: You were also a series regular on Video Syncrasy from David Fincher, based on the music industry and music videos in the eighties. Your character is a stylist’s assistant.

EL: But my character wanted to be a singer. She wanted to be Stevie Nicks.

TR: How did that project with David Fincher, a genius, come about?

EL: The show never saw the light of day. Sorry guys! You can't watch this.

TR: I watched a scene where you were unpacking garment bags and there's a garment rack behind you. I was like, ‘look at Elizabeth, living the story of my life’.

EL: I was so sore that day.

TR: The schlep of the fashion editor and the stylist...

EL: My shoulders were in pain. I think I got a massage therapist on that show, because it was so painful, carrying all the garment bags. And now when I see that in New York, I have a newfound respect.

TR: How did you first get interested in sustainability, and what do you do in your day to day life to create change?

EL: I became a vegan first and foremost almost four years ago, and that was really when I realized the environmental impact of animal agriculture. I was already vegetarian, because I love animals, and I thought, ‘I can do this, this can be my contribution’.

TR: Is there something specific that made you go from vegetarian to vegan?

EL: I saw Cowspiracy. It's a documentary.

TR: That's on my list. I haven't seen it yet.

EL: And of course everyone who watches says, ‘I'm going to become vegan.’ And maybe they do it for a week. It can be very difficult to do. And everyone I watched it with were like, ‘we're all going to do it’. I think I'm still the only one doing it. That was my beginning of living a more mindful life. It immediately requires you to be more mindful about what you're eating, which before, was a pretty mindless practice for me.

TR: For a lot of people I think.

EL: All of a sudden you become a little more mindful about, ‘What am I buying? How much waste am I creating? What am I only using once? What am I doing with my clothes?’ The whole world opens up, and all these questions come at you.

EL: On my Obsixed list, is the Package Free store. It opened in my neighborhood and I walked in, I was like, ‘this is amazing’. You start picking things up and you're like, ‘I didn't realize there was another option for cotton swabs, for taking off my makeup’. I didn't realize how much waste I was creating in my beauty routine. That's a huge thing. I'm definitely a victim of the skincare obsession. The good news is, like anything, you just do little things at a time. I think the first thing I got was a reusable mug and I love it. I have a KeepCup. Aesthetically, it's very pretty. And I have a S’well water bottle. Those are the easiest changes to make because, especially in New York, you just put them in your tote bag and the coffee shop remembers you. They know your order, they're like, ‘here's the girl with her own cup’. You'd be surprised, everyone is very down to make those kinds of changes. You just start saying no to moments of single use plastic or straws. I'm at the beginning of that journey and that's why I'm obsessed with it right now, because I'm exploring. I'm becoming very aware, and hoping to do so much more.

TR: We have your Obsixed list of current obsessions [listed below], but let’s also do a lighting round of favorites. Favorite food?

EL: Enchiladas.

TR: Favorite way to spend date night?

EL: Reading on the couch by a fireplace.

TR: Favorite way to prepare for a first day of shooting on set?

EL: Eye masks. I use a lot of Skyn Iceland

TR: Favorite movie? Can you even pick?

EL: In Bruges or The Road to El Dorado.

TR: Favorite skincare item?

EL: I love Dr. Hauschka's Rose Day Cream. I love the way that it smells. It makes me happy. You have to press it into your skin, so you have to go slow, and you're like, 'oh, this is a moment for me'.

TR: Favorite type of shoe to wear?

EL: Flat. My initial instinct is flat, but really comfortable. Comfort boots probably, that you can just slide on.

TR: Go-to dress up look?

EL: High waisted pants and some black pretty shirt and boots.

EL: Favorite holiday tradition?

EL: I make cookies with my grandmother. We make sugar cookies with decorative icing. It's actually really hard, because we make hundreds of cookies.

TR: Now we're onto some fan questions. From @kpaoletti19: “What's something you're proud of, that's happened this past year?”

EL:Those questions are so hard for me. Someone recently asked me what I was proud of and I didn't have an answer, but I realized they were asking me specifically about work, and it's because I can be my worst critic. But I will say, what I'm realizing is there are moments in every job where I have real moments of truth; where lightning strikes. I'm always proudest of those, because I think ‘you were there, and you were available to be worked through’.

TR: Also from @kpaoletti19, “Do you have advice when it comes to relationships? “

EL: I would say the best thing you can do is be super true to yourself and advocate for yourself really early on, so they know what they're working with. As opposed to, you know, when we first start dating someone, we want to be really pleasing and the perfect girlfriend. We just want to be easy. Maybe you are easy, but you're not always going to be easy.

TR: Be who you are.

EL: Have your opinions, have your likes, have your dislikes, and have them without shame.

TR: @elizabethlailfans asks: “Which of the characters that you've played, do you think most closely relates to you, and why?” I mean you've played some pretty intense characters. Maybe the answer is, none of them? Are there any who have a personality trait that you feel is like one of your own?

EL: They're all pretty different from me. I want to say Beck from You is the closest, but she's not really. Her choices are not really my choices. The things we have in common are age, that we’re artists, New York--- the really basic things. But when my mom was watching it, she was like, this isn't the woman I raised. She was like, ‘get some self esteem!’

TR: Another one, “What's your favorite memory from any set you've worked on?”

EL: Oh, I have so many. It's always the people. I create such joyful moments with all these incredible people and then they become your close friends. So I don't know if I can name a single one. There was a moment on Countdown where we came onto the set, this is kind of funny and gross, and it smelled like fish and we were like, what is going on here? Why does it smell like fish? Someone had used a set toilet, a fake toilet.

TR: That’s a really funny story. @elizabethlailfans also says “take care of yourself. We love you, and are proud of you always”.

EL: Aw right back at you, right back.

TR: @elizabethlailbr had a ton of great questions for you, including "Any new projects you can hint at?”

EL: Yeah, she's great. I don't know if I'm allowed to hint at them yet. But yes, don't worry, they're coming.

TR: One from me now: why did you change your Instagram handle?

EL: Everyone's upset! So my team was afraid that people weren't able to find me, because I had a random handle. [@elizaboon] And I will say, sometimes when someone contacts me on Instagram, they end up calling me Eliza, which is totally fine. That's like a nickname. They’d assume my name is Eliza, which was kind of fun. That's fine, I'm open. As long as it's not Beth, I'll respond to it.

TR: Do you have any nicknames?

EL: Some people call me Lizzy, Liz. Most people call me Lail, especially on a set; they go to sporting last name vibes. And then my best friend calls me Bell. It started out as Liz Bell and now it's just Bell. And then E Lib is the new one that's catching on.

TR: @elizabethlailbr asks: “How was it shooting with Story + Rain?”

EL: So fun.

TR: Fun and cold.

EL: Very cold, but it's much colder today, so I'm grateful for the day we had. It was cold but it was sunny.

TR: "Can you recommend theater to see or books on acting?” Also from @elizabethlailbr.

EL: Yes. Books on acting. I would read Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting. I would read Larry Moss, The Intent to Live, those are two incredible ones. They’re kind of old school and new school. Theater to see: I would see Jagged Little Pill on Broadway if you can. And then The Sound Inside, with Mary Louise Parker and Will Hochman. That's a wonderful play. And Sing Street, at New York Theater Workshop. I haven't seen it yet, but I really want to see it, and a friend of mine is in it. So that's on my list.

TR: One more: “Are you working with any new organizations within sustainability, or otherwise?”

EL: I’m working with the New York City Department of Sanitation. It’s cool because these are the real deal people. They want to make sure everyone knows how to get rid of waste, how to dispose of compost and garbage correctly, what is actually recyclable--- and all those sorts of things. And they're doing a Refashion week in February. They do upcycling fashion shows and have designers create sustainable looks.

TR: How do you feel about fashion in general?

EL: I am a fashion appreciator. I’m not necessarily that knowledgeable about the inside of the world of fashion, but every time I go to a fashion show I'm always blown away.

TR: Which shows have you seen?

EL: Self-Portrait. That one was so good. And then last year I got to go to Vogue CFDA. That was incredible. I just love being at the shows. I like the performance. It’s not surprising that, of course what I respond to is the performance of fashion.

TR: How do you feel about your costumes, how important are they?

EL: Very important.

TR: When you put on a costume as a character, even as Beck, in jeans and a sweater, or like Leah, do you transform instantly?

EL: 100% yeah. What your character decides to wear is, I think, very informative. So I think fashion in that sense is extremely important.

TR: Last question, still from @eilzabethlailbr: “What do you still feel like you need to accomplish in your career?” You have a huge career ahead of you, but is there something on your immediate list that you're thinking about these days?

EL: I've been thinking about these things because it's almost the new year, and it's time to write out a manifestation list.

TR: Do you put it in that big notebook, or is there a separate manifestation bible?

EL: I used to just rip it out of the notebook and put it away in my little box. And this year, I read that you should burn it. You should trust that your desires have been heard and are being met in the best way. So that's my plan this year. We'll see how it goes. There are a thousand things that I still want to do in my career, so I'm hoping this is just the beginning. I want to be an actor until I'm 89.

TR: How do you feel about film versus television? Things have changed so much in terms of TV.

EL: I really love both of them. I will say there's nothing like being in a movie theater; it changes the experience. It demands a little bit more of your attention, for better or for worse.

TR: There's ceremony attached to it, ritual.

EL: I like ritual, so I like that. But I love being a part of all of it: film, television, and theater. They're all worthwhile.

#elizabeth lail #elizabeth dean lail #article #interview #podcast #you netflix #unintended #mp

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psychicmedium14 · 7 years ago

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Well, folks, it’s been a year. For many people, 2017 was like a bull in a china shop—storming in unexpectedly, and leaving us with quite the mess to clean up. But in the midst of chaos there is always opportunity, meaning that this new year is rife with the potential for progress. To help you start off this year on a self-actualized foot, read on for a breakdown of exactly what your sun sign needs to do to "win" 2018—or in other words, to become the best version of yourself so you can better serve the world. Aries Sun/Aries Rising: "My fire is my most powerful tool." Aries is the first sign, or the "baby" of the zodiac, meaning you probably view the world through a pair of rose-colored glasses. An Aries upholds the most endearing qualities of being a child, like having boundless optimism, impressive energy, and a refreshingly unjaded outlook. However, this youthful temperament can also translate into quick tempers and the occasional melodramatic mood swing—factors that have helped this sun sign earn its fiery reputation. As an Aries, you’ve probably had to learn how to control your temper. But what if instead of putting out this fire in 2018, you chose to embrace it? Anger, through a different lens, is simply passion, and when channeled correctly, it can be your most powerful tool. The year 2017 may have set you up with a lot of hurdles to clear, but getting caught up in a whirlwind of frenzied frustrations won’t do you any favors. By finding a productive outlet for all of your energy—like taking charge in a social organization that is close to your heart or speaking up for those who don’t have a voice—you’ll be able to put this internal inferno to good use. Taurus Sun/Taurus Rising: "Let go, gracefully." We’ve all been there: that moment when that thing you manifested the sh*t out of ends up being a total dud, or at least not what you pictured. When some people come to this realization, they simply stand up, dust off their hands, and walk away. But this is rarely the reality for an ever-so-patient and persistent Taurus. When we move beyond what we’ve outgrown, the universe will always fill the void with something better. If you’re a Taurus, you prefer to go big or go home, wholeheartedly committing yourself to the people, places, and projects you care about. And while this unrelenting devotion is admirable, it makes it difficult for you to loosen your grip on the things that are no longer serving you. The trick? Understanding that when we move beyond what we’ve outgrown, the universe will always fill the void with something better. From that old flame whose number you just can’t delete to the job that was perfect on paper but leaves you feeling drained, 2018 is calling you to cut the cord. Like a snake shedding its skin, it’s time for you to release the old and slip gracefully into the new. Gemini Sun/Gemini Rising: "I will make room for honesty." Around this time of a year, Geminis are getting to live their best lives, mixing and mingling on repeat as the holiday party season rages on. This sun sign is notorious for knowing a little bit about everything, making things like first impressions, networking, and flirting an absolute breeze. But in 2018, your mission as a Gemini is to transcend the small talk and replace surface-level conversations with ones that foster real, human connection. Instead of filling every pause with fun facts and silly stories to keep things flowing, watch what happens when you leave space for honest exchanges to occur. Practicing mindful listening—shifting your focus onto the person you’re talking to and off of what witty thing you’ll say next—is a great way to strengthen both your conversations and relationships. Cancer Sun/Cancer Rising: "I will feel everything, with pride." Cancers are one of the most misunderstood signs of the zodiac, so let’s use 2018 to set the record straight. Often depicted as people who cry at the drop of a hat or throw temper tantrums left and right, Cancers are slighted for their overtly emotional personalities. But not only is this narrative an unfair exaggeration, it also paints highly sensitive beings in a negative light when in reality, they’re the ones doing it right. As a Cancer, being emotionally tuned in is your most important gift, for it allows you to access your potent intuition and game-changing creativity. For some Cancers, this connection comes easily, but for others, it’s a struggle. Defying the haters is your 2018 challenge, Cancer - choosing to grip tightly to your tenderness and find comfort in your emotional center. By feeling all the feels and bravely loving without bounds, you’ll be able to shower both yourself and the world around you with some much-needed compassion. Leo Sun/Leo Rising: "I am confident in my own worth." It’s a common misconception that Leos are the most confident sign of the zodiac, but this isn’t always the case. Many Leos do exude an air of confidence that makes the world believe they are sure of their own talents, but sometimes this over-the-top conviction is masking some underlying insecurities. In order to feel safe and loved, Leos need to be on the receiving end of a lot of positive affirmations. But when this doesn’t happen, they can start beating themselves up. Leo, you are inherently creative, caring, passionate, and intelligent—but you’ll never be truly happy until you start to really see this for yourself. Chances are you're amazing at spotting the potential in others and building them up, but 2018 is asking you to channel this energy inward instead. Start by writing down three things you appreciate about yourself every morning; anything from your big hair to your big heart will do. This may feel a little difficult at first, but in time you will become comfortable discovering new parts of yourself to love. Repeatedly reminding yourself of your limitless value will help you and your gifts soar higher this year than ever before. Virgo Sun/Virgo Rising: "I silence my inner critic." Hey, Virgos, if someone wants a job done well, they should bring it to you, right? As the perfectionist of the zodiac, you take pride in your precision and are sure to leave anything you touch in pristine condition. This keen attention to detail and observant nature can be incredibly useful, but it can also come with a bit of a price. Having a sharp inner critic is a common thread among Virgos. However, catering to this nitpicky voice in your head will do nothing but drag you down, so your 2018 mission is to set yourself free. One of the best ways to do this is by starting each day with some stream-of-consciousness journaling. Jot down anything and everything that comes to mind without an ounce of self-editing. By writing out any insecurities, anxieties, or limiting beliefs that are knocking around in your brain, you’ll be able to release them and create space for positive, productive thought patterns. Libra Sun/Libra Rising: "I release old grudges with grace." As a Libra, getting "sharing is caring" tattooed on your forehead would save you a lot of trouble. You thrive in situations that are balanced and expect others to dish up the same unwavering gentleness and consideration that you show them. However, it can be difficult for you to understand that this innate appreciation for fairness doesn’t come naturally for everyone. Holding a grudge when someone doesn’t carry their weight in a relationship might feel justifiable to you, but this negativity won’t serve you in 2018. In order to liberate yourself from the stagnant energy brought on by these lingering emotional memories, try a burning ceremony before the year is up. To start, compose a list of experiences that weigh heavy on your heart. From life-altering breakups to that rude comment the barista made about your hair, anything that drains your energy is deserving of release. Then, read everything you’ve written down out loud and set the paper on fire, freeing yourself from burdensome resentments that inhibit you from moving forward. Scorpio Sun/Scorpio Rising: "I will allow myself to sink into vulnerability." Scorpios are in fact water signs, possessing powerful intuitive gifts and an unparalleled level of emotional intelligence. However, it's easy to forget this because Scorpios are pros at hiding these sensitive parts of themselves. The desire for privacy is something that most Scorpios feel, for it gives them a safe space to process emotions and feel all the feels. But while brooding in secrecy may be your jam, 2018 has no time for it. As a Scorpio, you are arguably the most intuitive sign of the zodiac, meaning you can pick up on important energetic cues and understand people’s true intentions with ease. It’s these skills that allow you to connect with others on a deep, soul level—something our world has never needed more of. If you continuously choose to step into your vulnerability instead of shy away from it, you’ll get to watch your relationships totally transform in this new year. Sagittarius Sun/Sagittarius Rising: "I will turn big ideas into action." You are known for your optimistic spirit and love of roaming far and wide, so there’s no doubt that you have big plans for the planet, Sagittarius. Your philosophical nature and appreciation of freedom are perfectly suited to help 2018 move in a constructive direction, but we need you to focus to make this happen. Because Sagittarius is such an idealistic and generous sign, it’s common for you to bite off a little more than you can chew. And as someone who lives for change and excitement, it’s the initial spark at the start of a project that gets your gears going. In the new year, your mission is to hone your focus and work on physically bringing your ideas to life. Instead of jumping from one thing to the next, pick a couple of passion projects that are close to your heart and commit to them. The power of manifestation is amplified when you have specific goals in mind, so being intelligent and intentional about how you channel your energy is key. Hint: Creating a vision board would be an excellent way to support this process! Capricorn Sun/Capricorn Rising: "I know when to walk away." If we rounded up a list of all of the CEOs in the world, it's safe to say a large chunk of them would be Capricorns. Hardworking, disciplined, and responsible, you were probably that kid in school who did everyone’s part of the group project (and loved every minute of it). Your unwillingness to take the back seat in any facet of your life is a drive that many people wish they had, but 2018 is asking you to slow down and think about exactly where you’re steering your car and why. Take your job for example. It’s not uncommon for companies that start off with the best intentions to take a turn for the worse when things like money or egos get in the way. Thanks to your determination to finish what you’ve started, you may be tempted to stick around and see how things play out—but that’s not what this year is all about. Learning to walk away from situations that are no longer serving you will be your biggest lesson, and one that will pay off time and time again. Your work ethic and passion are one in a million, so make sure you’re only funneling this energy into situations worthy of your gifts. Aquarius Sun/Aquarius Rising: "I will stop resigning to an isolated existence." It’s a known fact that you Aquarius folks are deep thinkers. As the humanitarians of the zodiac, your original, inclusive ideas are the kind of medicine that our world so desperately needs. But even though you tend to be very focused on the fate of others, being independent is one of your most defining characteristics. This preference for marching to the beat of your own drum can give you a kind of "outsider" status—one that you embrace wholeheartedly. However, needing alone time to recharge is one thing, but pushing others away or avoiding emotional connection is another. On a universal level, this year is about awakening to the idea that we’re in this race together. Your 2018 mission is to work on dropping your defenses and using collaboration and compromise to help move your ideas forward. By linking up with others who are on your same wavelength, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your innovative visions can come to life. Pisces Sun/Pisces Rising: "I dare to share my talents." It’s no secret that Pisces are deeply creative souls, able to produce moving work that speaks to the human condition. Whether you label yourself an "artist" or not, I bet there are elements of creative expression woven through your life—like writing poems in the Notes section of your phone or whipping out a sketchbook on long plane rides. However, Pisces have a proclivity for privacy, so the thought of sharing your art with the world might be your worst nightmare. As a highly sensitive being, the fear of criticism can feel very real for you. Your powerful emotional memory invites you to dwell on the past, replaying all of the negative feedback you’ve ever received on repeat. But this year is calling you to honor your artwork and step into the light, making the choice to share your healing gifts with the world. Pisces, you are the dreamer of the zodiac, laden with potent intuitive talents that allow you to cut right through someone’s soul. Don’t let the possibility of judgment steal your magic from those of us who so deeply need it.

#astrology #affirmations #zodiac signs

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gdmli · 5 years ago

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Social Capital: When a Diversity & Inclusion Lesson Turns into a Painful Gut-Check

By Laura Miller, CLP Class of 2020

It took me a week to sit down and write this blog.

I thought about writing it every day, usually multiple times. Even sat down a handful of times to do it, too. Pulled up my OneNote, opened a page, typed a title…and then? Nothing. Too many words in my head and nothing I could make sense of to put on paper.

And there are a lot of good reasons I was able to use as excuses for my hesitation. Our Social Capital class last Thursday was rich with new information and tools and stories and challenges. Somehow, it managed to be simultaneously energizing and completely draining, and through my conversations with our classmates I know I wasn't alone in that feeling. I got home and I was shattered. Absolutely, without a doubt, in pieces. And the thing is…as I walked into our classroom at Principal last Thursday morning, I knew it was going to be a difficult day. I was ready for it! Diversity and Inclusion in our communities and organizations is always a source of difficult discussion if you give it the weight and consideration it deserves. I thought I knew what to expect, I just didn't expect to walk away as deeply and profoundly moved as I was.

But the real, true, radically honest reason why I couldn't make sense of my reaction? Why I couldn't just sit down, type, and post? I just didn't want to confront the shift this class was already forcing me to make mentally and emotionally when it came to an issue I've always been passionate about. I didn’t want to admit that I’ve known for awhile that I wasn’t doing enough.

"I'm an ally!" I screamed in my mind. "I've always pushed for inclusion! I've always been an advocate! I've pushed back and spoken up when I've encountered sexism/racism/classism/homophobia! Whether it was directed at me or at others! Even when it was hard! Even when it hurt my career!" And the deal is - all of that is true. But you know what? It's just not enough for us to be reactive. Reaction is part of the game, unfortunately. Speaking up for yourself, speaking out with others…all of that is an important part of creating a more diverse, inclusive, and cohesive community, if even it has to be reactionary. But as I walked to my car on Thursday night, I was already starting to acknowledge that by focusing only on being reactive, I was part of the problem…and I didn't like that. And I didn't want to hear it from myself. And honestly? That kicked off some serious soul-searching that I know I'll be doing for the long-term.

Diversity is often treated like a buzzword in the exact spaces where it needs to be given the largest platforms. Inclusion? That's a concept that many don't even think they need to lend time to. And those of us who are more sensitive to the need for that dialogue, and the positive change that can follow, often get tired. And frustrated. Or we worry about "rocking the boat" just a little too much. We'll speak up when we hear or see something we know to be wrong, but I think many of us stop there. We pat ourselves on the back, and say "I did something good today. And now I'm tired. There are better, smarter people that me to solve the problem…and when they do, I'll support them."

Maybe this doesn't ring true with you. Maybe you're a Diversity and Inclusion rockstar. Maybe you've started a diversity initiative at your company, maybe you've proposed a practice of blind hiring…maybe you've even built a career around starting the tough conversations and doing the right thing. If that's the case? I admire you. Please, PLEASE teach me your ways. And tell me how you keep fighting the good fight and pushing those around you to fight at your side, all without becoming exhausted and frustrated and emotionally depleted as a result. I want all of your secrets.

But I know there's no secret. No silver bullet here. I'm sure the people who fight the good fight have hundreds of days in their history where they've felt like they've given too much of themselves, even as they ring out a few more drops of progress. I heard many of those stories in class last week. I could hear the frustration in our voices, and the confusion, too. I heard so many confused voices from people like me, who were realizing that there was so much more we could have been doing all this time.

My ah-ha moments started early on the day of our Social Capital Class. Miriam Lewis, Principal's Chief Diversity & Inclusion Officer kicked things off, welcoming us to Principal, who generously donated our space for the day, as well as much of their employees' time. I was already floored. Principal has a Chief Diversity & Inclusion Officer? They have a C-Suite role…for Diversity? They have a whole team for it? Honestly, that was such awe-inspiring information to me that it took a few moments to process and recover. (I've since done a bit of research…about 20% of Fortune 500 companies employ Chief Diversity Officers. That's a great number. Amazing, really. But hey, let's try to make it 100%).

When I was done being impressed by Principal having that degree of dedication to their Diversity & Inclusion program, I immediately transitioned to being impressed by Miriam Lewis as both a person and a professional. She's forged her career around creating opportunities to have open, honest conversations about tough subjects…and then pushing for and encouraging positive change. I want to be her when I grow up. And as she introduced her team and the work they do, she said something very simple that has been bouncing around in my head for days…

"Most companies start with diversity and believe inclusion will follow, but that's not the case. If you start with inclusion, focusing on creating an inclusive environment, diversity will always follow" - Miriam Lewis

I think I've paraphrased that idea a dozen times to coworkers and friends since I heard it. It takes something that many organizations seem confused or overwhelmed by, and makes it seem simple.

Miriam also validated something I've said for a long time (and don't we all love validation?) - by creating more diverse and inclusive organizations, we create more opportunities for organizational growth. Want to grow your customer base? Want to create a more diverse book of business? Start at home. If your organization isn't diverse and inclusive, how can you expect to attract more diverse clientele? If the conversation about doing the right thing isn't enough for a business to make a change, the bottom line will always do the talking for you.

I was inspired! I was going to effect positive change! I was going to take her approach and turn it into something that could inspire the world around me to move in the right direction! And that optimistic, simple inspiration kept ringing in my mind as we worked through our Design Thinking lesson (which my classmate Deidra will discuss with you in another post). I kept relating that content back to creating more inclusive ideas and projects in my daily life. Design Thinking is all about starting with the person, not the idea - and so is inclusivity. My big misstep? I was still technically thinking about the idea of inclusivity, not the actual people. I wasn't even thinking about myself, and what I needed to be included in the design, let alone others.

Ohhhh but don't you worry. That changed quickly. You knew I had to get to the source of my mental and emotional turmoil at some point, right?

Our afternoon was spent challenging our perceptions of diversity and inclusion in the Des Moines community - at work and at play. I was immediately captivated by our first afternoon presenter, Izaah JB Knox, the Executive Director of Urban Dreams. Urban Dreams is a long-time fixture in Des Moines, and is an important program that helps to break down barriers for underserved and underrepresented populations. And wow…did Izaah hit me hard, right off the bat, with some data about those populations.

As a vocal cheerleader for the awesome things I see in Des Moines, I'm often the first to spout off about of the "Best Of" lists we fall on. Those lists are even a huge part of why I eventually boomeranged back to the Des Moines area after several years away! But I had no idea about the lists that we're at the bottom of: lists that relate to how safe minorities are in our communities, how much opportunity underserved populations feel, access to affordable housing, and more. It was all eye-opening for me, and deeply upsetting. This, I would find, was going to be a theme for me for the next few hours.

We then moved into our final activities and sessions: The American Dream Game, Discovering Your Unconscious Bias with Claudia Schabel, and a Social Awareness & Intersectionality discussion with Daniel Hoffman-Zinnel. The American Dream Game is something I truly believe that every group working towards progress and equality should participate in. It's hard to think of it as a "game", since the subject matter is heavy, and the conversation it inspires is even heavier. The activity "focuses on empathy for others and the potential challenges others may face each day", and forces participants to have an honest dialogue about the challenge you face as an individual, while confronting the things you don't know about the challenges faced by others in the room. I cried when I heard someone's story about their challenges, I cried when I had to be honest about challenges I myself had faced. I don't know when I suddenly became a person who cries easily, but the honestly and bravery that came out of my class during this activity was worth my being branded as A Crier (really, I need to emphasize this…the capitalization is necessary based on how much I cried. It was…not pretty).

I won't share the stories that changed my heart in the American Dream game. And I won't share the stories that did the same during our Unconscious Bias and Social Awareness & Intersectionality discussions. Those conversations were difficult, and honest, and private…just for us, as we all grow and change and open our eyes just a bit wider each day with each other's support. I will share that I saw a shift in our class. It was visible; we should have taken a picture of everyone's posture before, during, and after the class. But mostly, you could hear it; our voices changed. The way we spoke to one another changed. The way we spoke about one another changed. It was tangible how much our ways of thinking were changed.

I walked away hoping that it all stuck, not just for me but for everyone in that room. I wasn't sure that it would. Sometimes it's easier to push the tough conversations to the back of our minds. To pat ourselves on the back for just opening up. To tell ourselves "I'm an ally! I speak up for what's right! Even when it's hard! I do good things!". But today, a week after I was worried that the lessons we learned in that room may not stick…I'm not worried anymore. There's no way that I'm the only person that walked out of that room feeling that way. There's no way I'm the only person from our class who hasn't been able to stop thinking about the lessons we all learned. Most importantly, there's no way that I'm the only person who has not just been inspired to act, but truly feels called to do it.

Like I said earlier: reacting is great. But acting is better. Having a plan of action? That’s best.

So my challenge to all of you is this: be radically honest, be realistic, be hopeful, and above all else…be someone who acts. Be someone who has an action plan. I do! We can all listen to each other a little bit more, push through our frustration, and work together to make Des Moines the most Diverse & Inclusive place it can be. We can take the lessons we learned today back to our offices, our families, our friends. We have infinite ways that we can effect positive change.

Just.

Have.

To.

Act.

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-june-23-29-2019/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: June 23 – 29, 2019

By Kelly M. Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction.

*NOTE* There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

Weekly Forecast: June 23 – 29, 2019

6/23 ~ Venus (love, art & beauty) ~oppose~ Jupiter (expansion): This is a great energy for enjoying nature, really good food & drink, fun company & lots of laughter! It is a celebratory energy, to be enjoyed but not to excess or to the neglect of your health or well-being. It’s very creative and activates the true Inner Artist within all of us. It’s also good to consider that you are at a MidPoint in a relationship or creative project that you started about 6-months ago; is it still viable? is the Story you’re telling still true? where’s the value? is it still worth it? So whether you are an artist or not, this activation can facilitate an infinitely creative mood and expand your individual work immensely. Activate your imagination, think big, have fun & laugh today, but tomorrow, plan to start moving in a new direction that is more authentic for you personally.

6/24 ~ Venus (love, finances & relationships) ~square~ Neptune (illusions & delusions): This energy is great for creative flow. If you are artistically inclined in any way, you will have access to an energy that may allow you to create something amazing. Dig deep and allow your Self to free-flow! This energy can also challenge relationships (personal or professional) to ‘keep it real’ in some way and ones which are not on a true, solid foundation are likely to dissolve under this influence. When Neptune is involved, we see life through a completely different kind of lens, often seeing the potential rather than the reality of the situation. Detach & Trust. If your relationship happens to end under this influence, it’s not necessarily a bad thing because it suggests that it may not have been on solid ground to begin with. Be thankful and move on. This activation is just helping you align your true values & priorities with the vision in your mind & heart, but you will have to expand your consciousness in some way, follow your inner compass and take practical steps going forward.

6/25 – Venus TeleCircle: GEMINI/Crown Chakra Release We are approaching the MidPoint in the Venus Cycle, which is an exciting pivot point for one and all. This is the best time to remind you to check-in with the cycle to see how it is unfolding for you. If you’re like me, you want to get all the good out of this particular cycle in Libra/Scorpio because that covers a LOT of ground that is vital for living: balance, fairness, justice, beauty, essence, power, soul, eternal, zero point. It is totally related to our relationships, partnerships & collaborations of ALL kinds, including and especially intimacy.

You can refer to my Venus Cycle Article HERE and in essence, Sept-Dec 2018 stirred things up in those departments of your chart and your frame of reference for this cycle is 2010 when she would’ve lingered in the same area for you. The upgrade in our love & money or relationships & resources departments is customized for each individual but no one is exempt from the upgrade! We are in a time when relating to each other is completely different. How we define family, love, commitment is evolving. Just feel into that and see if you haven’t been doing your own personal clearing, realizing values have changed and priorities have shifted and it’s all natural and all good but changing nonetheless.

Because we are approaching the MidPoint, it is a good time to re-read that article and check in with your own evolution over the last 9-months of Soul Level Release Work (whether you joined us or not) because now you get your reward for that labor! Venus will disappear from the sky in the beginning of July – meet with the Sun on 8.14.2019 – and return as the Evening Star in September. It is a powerful thing to synchronize your life with Venus’ rhythm. And I invite you to join us on the Reclamation side when we explore new opportunities and experiment with different learning or healing modalities that better serve the NEW values & priorities that you are anchoring in the here & now.

6/27 ~ Sun (source & essential Self) ~sextile~ Uranus (freedom & individuality): This activation will help you access a deeper sense of authenticity as everyday routine events may be enlightening this week. Anytime Uranus is involved ‘ah-ha moments’ are available, those sudden inspirations or the surprising clarity that changes everything and is bubbling near the surface, you need but invite it in (to your conscious awareness to be useful). Eventually, you will have to ground these breakthroughs in some physical form, but this energy supports the exploration of possibilities. Where can you use a dose of freedom & liberation? This energy also promotes ‘authentic living’ – you won’t be able to be phony, nor tolerate it in others this week. Just remember that truth sometimes rattles those who would rather play ‘nice’ (keep up appearances/status quo) than face the facts, so watch out for rebelliousness, if not in you then in others. This is not a disruptive energy, except to those who resist change. Don’t fight it – embrace it! Change is good, it means you are growing!

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peanutscratch · 8 years ago

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1 - 150

Incredible I did literally bring this on myself tho1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I honestly don't remember... Probably a friend from school or something.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Generally outgoing but it's draining... 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?School friends, but I've been meeting up with lots of people from back home or who graduated recently so it's been nice!4. Are you easy to get along with?YeOr so I've been told :P5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I'd hope so? I assume so. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Cute people who are funny and who think I'm funny. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Pfft no. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?No one in particular... 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Not really but idk how to initiate a conversation about sex ever. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?My friend Sydney a few nights back11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?👍12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?OH time for recent faves:- Jam Jam by IU- 最爱雨天 by Men Envy Children- 告白气球 by Jay Chou- 如果我��不曾相遇 by 五月天- Wild Heart by Bleachers and Sara Bareilles13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Not really... At best it feels weird at worst it makes me feel uncomfortable. (people like touching my beard though? Which I'm actually more ok with :P) 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Ye. It's all about being the right person in the right place at the right time. 15. What good thing happened this summer?Got to hang out with people!! Got to do a cool project in Boston!! 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Lol probably not... 17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Yes. Undoubtedly. Definitely and with 100% certainty. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?I barely remember who my first crush was. 19. Do you like bubble baths?Nah I only take showers these days. 20. Do you like your neighbors?They're fine. 21. What are you bad habits?Blaming myself and taking responsibility for things that aren't my fault.22. Where would you like to travel?Everywhere. All over Asia. Especially Japan, China, Singapore, Dubai, Thailand, everywhere. 23. Do you have trust issues?I trust myself. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Lunch! 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?I'm pretty comfortable with my body but probably my figure. Would like to be more fit. 26. What do you do when you wake up?Try to get out of bed, take a shower asap. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Neither, I really am pretty comfortable with my body. 28. Who are you most comfortable around?Most of my close friends. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Don't think so. 30. Do you ever want to get married?Sure. More than that I want to raise a family tho. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Nah. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?What. I'm not really big on celebrities...33. Spell your name with your chin.Jnhfzh (I tried) 34. Do you play sports? What sports?Lol sports. What's up sports it's been a while since we last met huh... 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?I already live without TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Constantly. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles. 37. What do you say during awkward silences?I don't. That's what makes it an awkward silence. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I like them and they like me. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Gimme those ethnic grocery stores yes pls!40. What do you want to do after high school?Lol. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Mostly yes. Very few things are completely unforgivable in my book... 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?Thinking about something. Or recharging. 43. Do you smile at strangers?Sure, especially if they smile at me. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?I think space would be less scary. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Knowing I've got stuff to do. Potential. 46. What are you paranoid about?Losing people I love. 47. Have you ever been high?Nah. 48. Have you ever been drunk?Yeah. It's not for me. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Probably not... 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?I don't usually wear hoodies? Probably black and red51. Ever wished you were someone else?Yeah, me except I have a better fashion sense and can speak like 40 languages52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?I wish I kept up speaking my mother tongue when I was growing up so I didn't have to struggle to relearn it now. 53. Favourite makeup brand?N/A54. Favourite store?Barnes & Noble55. Favourite blog?I really like those blogs that post creative coding gifs56. Favourite colour?Probably blue57. Favourite food?Pasta58. Last thing you ate?I made stir fry today for dinner! 59. First thing you ate this morning?Some rice bowl thing with tofu 👍👍👌👌60. Ever won a competition? For what?Don't think so? I did win a science fair in high school with lifesavers tho. 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope62. Been arrested? For what?Also no63. Ever been in love?Yes. I'd like to think so anyway. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Lol don't even remember it... 65. Are you hungry right now?Nah too late 4 food66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Same Friends Same Friends! 👉67. Facebook or Twitter?Fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?Never 70. Names of your bestfriends?Steven, Winston, others71. Craving something? What?More hugs... 72. What colour are your towels?Mostly dark blue or teal72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 ✌️73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Nah74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Honestly idek if I own any xD75. Favourite animal?Snek🐍🐍76. What colour is your underwear?Grey today77. Chocolate or Vanilla?I used to be hardcore chocolate but nowadays I'm really feeling vanilla. 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Birthday Cake!!!! 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Purple! 80. What colour pants?Burgundy 81. Favourite tv show?Yo I just finished this top quality anime it is called Flying Witch everyone watch it. Mob Psycho 100 is good too. Pls Watch Car Boys. 82. Favourite movie?Car Boys. 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Have not seen either but probably the original. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Haven't seen either but probably mean girls. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?The mean girl? 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?That turtle who's like "gnarly cowabungas dude" or w/e87. First person you talked to today?My roommate Jack88. Last person you talked to today?Steven89. Name a person you hate?I don't have time to hate people that's a lot of effort. 90. Name a person you love?Myself. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Lol usually also myself 92. In a fight with someone?Nah93. How many sweatpants do you have?I don't even know if I own one pair of sweatpants94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Like 1 MAYBE. 95. Last movie you watched?I Think Kiki's Delivery Service? 96. Favourite actress?Idk I don't watch things :P Maybe Tara Strong? 97. Favourite actor?Lol do those McElboys count 98. Do you tan a lot?I Am South Indian. 99. Have any pets?I have a brother? 100. How are you feeling?Yeah101. Do you type fast?On phone ye on computer not really 102. Do you regret anything from your past?Not really? 103. Can you spell well?Ye. I choose 2 be Like This. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Most friends from high school... Probably gonna miss more once I graduate college huh... 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Nope :0106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Yeah. Sorry I'm an asshole sometimes, it's not intended I promise. 107. Have you ever been on a horse?No but I have been on an elephant 108. What should you be doing?Sleeping fuck109. Is something irritating you right now?Yeah the fact I stayed up to do this instead of sleep 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Lol yeah but it's still always just a crush so You Know. 111. Do you have trust issues?Deja Vu (heart is speeding) 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I don't really cry in front of others... I can't even remember the last time I did. 113. What was your childhood nickname?Some of my relatives used to call me Nitu-kutti114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Ye, hell I'm in Boston right now! 115. Do you play the Wii?When I'm home but honestly n64 all the way116. Are you listening to music right now?Ye actually 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?No #vegetarian118. Do you like Chinese food?👍👍👌👌119. Favourite book?Don't really have one... 120. Are you afraid of the dark?I've got realer things to worry about these days... 121. Are you mean?I don't think so? Not intentionally at least 122. Is cheating ever okay?Lol no it's so easy to not cheat just break up with person a before going to do things with person b. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Lol I can't keep white anything clean124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Sure why not125. Do you believe in true love?Absolutely. Not in exclusive soul mates but definitely in love and romance. 126. Are you currently bored?I'm doing this aren't I127. What makes you happy?Podcasts, drawing, friendship, languages128. Would you change your name?Probably not, I like it but also idk what I would change it to :p129. What your zodiac sign?Aquarius ♒130. Do you like subway?I like taking The Subway. But no. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Probably fuck it up horribly but somehow stay ok friends after a while in the end132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?You definitely already asked me this133. Favourite lyrics right now?"Oh, it's such a long and awful lonely fallDown from this pedestal that you keep putting me onWhat if I fall on my face?What if I make a mistake?If it's okay a little grace would be appreciated" - Idle Worship - Paramore134. Can you count to one million?I guess? But I'd rather not xD135. Dumbest lie you ever told?Dunno probably when I tell people I'm on my way somewhere when in reality I haven't even gotten out of bed and then get called out for being late :PP136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed137. How tall are you?6'1"138. Curly or Straight hair?Both are cute but straight probably looks better on me139. Brunette or Blonde?Either140. Summer or Winter?The opposite of what it is currently141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?I love holiday season so december 143. Are you a vegetarian?👍👌✌️144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk145. Tea or Coffee?Neither unless it's that good good Thai Iced Tea146. Was today a good day?Ye! 147. Mars or Snickers?Mars by a mile 148. What’s your favourite quote?Idk... I'm quite partial to "when nothing is going right, go left" 149. Do you believe in ghosts?Not really but I like the concept 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?"When they see things go well for someone else, they credit the environment: 'Joan really was lucky today; she just happened to be standing there when the boss came by, so she got all the credit for the project work.'" - The Design of Everyday Things - Don Norman

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ashadowcalledkei · 8 years ago

Text

I know, I know, I should be working on my two other fics and am absolutely the worst, but ... well, this idea wouldn’t leave me alone. So, I decided to start writing this too, and boy it was a great way to break out of writers block and get started again. And no, this is not part of my normal babyblasters storyline. WitD, TLtN, and the oneshots are all one connected story, but this is its own thing. An au of an au (of an au of an ... well you know). And as such, it’s gonna be very different. And also a lot shorter. Yep, short chapters from me for once. Shocking, I know! Not too many of them either, I think. i just wanted to write this sort of on the side to explore a few what-ifs (and because I missed writing nice Gaster!). (side note; the assistant in this currently has no name or description because ... well I didn’t know who to use. I might go with one of the followers or Sil (a background oc from To Last the Night) but ... not sure yet. )

Credit where credit is due, I wanted to point out some of the inspirations behind this (and also recommend some awesome fics). While planning this out I wound up thinking back on two amazing works; A Year Every Minute by @askull4everyoccasion and Creative Problem Solving by bermudablue. Both of which are fantastic and if you haven’t read either then you should stop right now and go do so. But oddly enough the real source of inspiration for this story was ... making the babyblaster bjds for spacegate. I’m not kidding! I wasn’t going to make a pair for myself until the chest piece I made for hers wound up warping in the oven. I couldn’t use it for a gift, it didn’t look right anymore, but it was still a functional piece. So ... well, you’ll see ...

I hope you guys like this little tangent of a fic.

Bend

Pairings: None Characters: W. D. Gaster, 1-S

Warnings: prepare for unexpected cute (G is not prepared)

Notes: Baby Blasters AU belongs to the wonderful @spacegate, I just write here.

Chapter 1

W. D. Gaster stared down at the file in his hands, one foot tapping out an anxious rhythm on the polished tile floor as he read over his own notes for what had to have been the hundredth time. 'Determination Trials', the somewhat worn cover read, 'WDG-DTP5-BP-0018 1-R'. He flipped through page after page of carefully recorded observations chronicling the process by which subject 1-R had been created. The ratios of different magics that had been merged to create its soul. The time it had taken that newly crafted soul to stabilize and the amount of external energy that had to be introduced to achieve that. Growth rates. Energy levels. Liquid magic supplement types. Everything he'd done had been carefully monitored and recorded, checked and double checked for any signs of irregularities, yet it still hadn't been enough.

'Irreversible soul destabilization.' The neatly printed words, bold and accusing even in his own signature script, hardly did his failure justice. After the horrific, liquified mess subjects 1-O through 1-Q had become only a few short months into their incubation, he'd vowed to find the correct ratio of Determination to monster magic before daring to attempt the procedure again. And then, after countless hours of calculations and testing, he'd found it. At long last one of his creations had developed the way it should, forming not only a stable soul but a body as well. But then, when he'd tried to remove the subject from incubation, everything went wrong. Due to the influence of Determination on its physical form, 1-R's bones hadn't fully calcified the way they should have and the creature had been unable to support and sustain itself outside of the magic infused liquid it had developed in. In his eager haste, Gaster hadn't even thought to test for such things. The fact that the creature would likely have never survived outside containment regardless of if he'd noticed the problem ahead of time or not was little comfort when he'd been forced to clear away the dust of yet another failure.

The scientist closed the thick folder he held with a weary sigh. He placed it back at the end of a row of seventeen other similar files and turned his attention to the one folder left sitting on his desk. Barrier project experiment attempt number nineteen. Subject 1-S.

Snatching up the file and taking a pen from the deep pockets of his lab coat, Gaster jotted down a few notes to himself as he left his office. There was so much to be done today. He'd been in the lab working ever since what passed for dawn in his subterranean home, too anxious to even be tempted by the thought of sleep. By the time his assistant had come in to join him, already chattering excitedly about the 'big day', he'd run every test imaginable on his latest creation.

Gaster pocketed his pen and retrieved a large mug of coffee, still sitting by the containment chamber where he'd left it. The drink was stone cold and bitter, but he was used to that. He sipped it slowly, barely aware of the flavor so many others found overpowering, as he stood in the pale green glow of the incubation tank. The tall, glass cylinder was full of a thick liquid made up of mostly synthetic magic. It sat atop a sturdy metal base which housed the various mechanical parts necessary to keep the mixture warm and ensure the development of the creature housed within it. And suspended at its center, amidst the various wires and tubes that had sustained it during these long months, was subject 1-S.

Just like each of its predecessors, 1-S was a combination of human and monster soul energies fused together with both science and magic to make something entirely new. If the creature turned out the way Gaster intended, it would be strong, intelligent, and capable of wielding devastatingly powerful magic. As strong as a human mage, if his calculations were correct. And if he could really do it, if he could create not just one but seven of these creatures, they would be a force strong enough to destroy the barrier and free monster kind from the underground. No more human children unfortunate enough to fall into their realm would have to die. No more monster children would be sentenced to a lifetime in this dark prison. They could end generations worth of suffering. If only his creations would live.

The creature in the tank was small, smaller than he'd predicted and, in fact, smaller than 1-R had been on the ill-fated day of its extraction. And just like 1-R, the end result of all the mixed magic types that had come together to form the soul of 1-S had resulted in a creature that could not be easily classified. It had developed the solidly built legs of a canine, the flexible spine and sharp claws of a feline, and a vaguely reptilian tail. That odd combination of features was interesting enough, but the unique anatomy of its sloping, crested skull made his creation unlike anything Gaster had seen in any animal or monster.

Like most of the others that had come before it, 1-S was skeletal in nature. Unsurprising considering W. D. Gaster himself had been the primary soul energy donor. It took so much magic and raw life energy to create each one of the experimental souls that, while he did readily make use of donations from the few other researchers aware of the project, the scientist always seemed to find himself running short and filling the gaps with his own magic. While this did carry a higher risk than he wanted to admit to himself, each time leaving him exhausted and dizzy as he came dangerously close to draining his reserves, he just couldn't bring himself to ask someone else to take that risk for him. Besides, he always recovered after a few days. And, in his opinion at least, if the project was successful it would be well worth all the risks.

There were other benefits to using his own magic as well. For one thing, it was easier to tack development in a skeletal being. There was no risk of unseen, internal complications, because there was nothing 'internal' about the creature at all. Except for its magic, but that was being carefully monitored for any potentially dangerous irregularities. There were other risk factors to consider, mostly to do with how fragile a young skeleton's physical form could be, but their predominantly magical nature made for even greater potential power. It was a tradeoff Gaster was more than willing to accept.

The sound of approaching footsteps drew his attention as his assistant came to join him. “Everything looks good,” they said as they checked something off on a clipboard then flipped it so that Gaster could see what they'd written. The very same tests he'd run twice himself and had been about to ask them to run as well. He looked over the numbers, checking them against his own findings. They couldn't afford any mistakes this time.

“Alright,” he said, moving his hands in precise gestures that had long ago become second nature to him. “Let's begin the extraction.”

For the next few minutes, the lab was a flurry of activity. The large, heavy cap that sealed the incubation chamber was removed and set aside. Some sequences were terminated while others were started to take their place. A rush of bubbles rose up through the green liquid and a soft hissing sound emanated from the mechanisms beneath it. Gaster felt his soul pounding in his chest as the fluid slowly began to drain. He summoned a set of floating hands, comprised of magic bone much like his attacks but without any hint of harmful intent behind them, and guided them into the cylinder. Phantom sensations washed over him as he reached into the thick, warm liquid. Carefully, he cupped the small creature in his hands and held it secure as the liquid slowly drained around it. It seemed to take forever, but at last the fluid level dipped low and his creation settled into the conjured hands.

Excitement made the scientist's magic race, but he steadied himself as best he could. If he rushed things now, he would just be inviting another disaster. With agonizing slowness, he lifted 1-S, attached monitor cables and all, out of the tube. His assistant dutifully called out the data their machines were receiving about the creation. Magic levels steady. No noticeable variation in DT. Soul energy spiking, but that was to be expected given the sudden change in circumstances. He couldn't see any signs of melting or unexpected indentations in the skull. The scientist called on his own magic, feeling the warmth of energy sparking in his eye sockets, and a pale indigo haze colored the world around him as he used his power to check his creation's soul in a way no machine ever could. Health, strength, defenses, all on the low side but not unbearably so. No doubt they would improve with time. And underneath, there was the pulse of new magic glimmering in shifting shades of blue.

As the sheen of magic faded from his vision, Gaster slowly became aware of a subtle vibration against his conjured hands underscored by the faint rattle of tiny bones. His creation was shaking in his grasp. No, he realized, not 'shaking'. Shivering. It was cold. And no wonder, the lab was quite chilly compared to the warmth of the incubation tank. Gaster levitated the creature closer to him and reached out, carefully taking his creation into his arms. 1-S stirred in his grasp, its tiny body pressing close to his chest. His magic pulsed a little faster as the skeletal creature nuzzled him, eagerly soaking up his warmth. It was so small. So fragile. Its entire body couldn't have been longer than his radius.

“Sir?” his assistant said, snapping him back to reality. They handed him a towel and helped him clean 1-S, wiping away the last traces of green fluid until it's bones were sparkling white. Gaster took a second, clean towel and swaddled the creature in it, carefully threading the fabric around the various wires and tubes still connected to his creation. When that was done he set 1-S on a nearby cot. His eager assistant, practically buzzing with excitement over their success, set to work moving the necessary equipment over and locking guard rails in place as an added bit of precaution against potential accidents.

The creature squirmed in its towel cocoon, wriggling out of the soft fabric just enough to raise its head which wobbled on its thin neck. Its tiny muzzle pointed towards the scientist, twitching as if sniffing the air. Eye socket blinked open, squinting at first but then large and round as they stared up at him. Faint hints of light glittered in their dark depths. 1-S let out the tiniest squeak of a sound.

Gaster could hardly believe it. Knowing the data was one thing, but seeing it, touching it, watching it move on its own, that was something else. Against all odds, 1-S was alive. He was so lost in his own amazement that he didn't even realize his assistant was talking until they grasped his hand and shook it.

“Congratulations,” they said, breathless with a heady mixture of relief and excitement, “you finally did it.”

“I couldn't have done it without you,” he managed to reply, his own voice faintly choked with the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. So many years of work, countless sleepless nights spent pouring over data from failure after failure, and now here it was. 1-S; the first successful life created from monster and human magic. The culmination of the Determination Trials that had dominated his life since the completion of the CORE. The first of seven living weapons that might one day strike down the barrier. That lofty goal had never seemed closer. But for now, 1-S was just a newborn. Nothing but a helpless little puppy. Gaster rested his free hand gently on the bundled form, feeling the faint rise and fall of the creature's chest as its first shallow breaths gradually settled into an even, calming rhythm. He wasn't entirely sure what would become of this tiny thing he'd made, but for now, this was enough.

When his assistant returned to work the next morning, they found the scientist fast asleep in a desk chair beside his creation's bed, his head resting on the edge of the cot and the sleeping puppy's muzzle pressed against his outstretched hand.

#S is a tiny cutie #surprise parental feelings #you're in for it now G #the angst is coming #but so is more cute #baby blaster au #baby blasters #gaster blaster au #gaster blasters #W.D. Gaster #1-S and 2-P #eventually #fic recs #Undertale #Undertale fic

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 8 years ago

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Seven things finishing my seventh book taught me

Hey People of Earth!

This is kind of nuts to say, and I legitimately did not think I’d be writing this for another month, but uh.

I finished my seventh book.

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So I kind of made a stupid, somewhat fleeting goal this past Friday, as I usually do. And that was to finish this book at all costs.

I didn’t really think I was going to do it. I had a massive school project to finish, and you know, I didn’t really factor finishing my seventh book to be a thing that I’d actually. I just made a pretty far-fetched goal, and thought it’d be interesting to see how far I got with it by Sunday night.

And I did it... I really did it, and it’s kind of insane to think that I actually did it.

I don’t know who follows my writing updates on here, but if you have been, you’d know that this has been the hardest book I have ever written in my entire life. No joke. So far, FOSTERED #4 has been so difficult for me to write, for a lot of reasons. First off: new content. I was writing about something so greatly out of my comfort zone, and this was a little harder to do than anticipated. The story really changed from its usual action-adventure type of arc, and morphed into something super dark and elaborate.

I brought out parts of my cast that I didn’t even know existed. The book really didn’t branch off from my main cast (around four characters), so it was vital to flesh them out in ways I hadn’t in the previous three books. Overall, the book only followed six people in total that really made a huge impact on the storyline. (Small casts for some reason are a thing I do. I don’ t know why I do that thing, but it continues to be a consistently recurring thing I do.)

Yeah, I’ll be honest--this book was emotionally draining on me. On top of my insane semester, it was so hard for me to push through this book as quickly as I usually do. To this day, this novel’s taken me the longest to write, ever. I started it in July, and finished it yesterday, on the 22nd of January. That’s six and a half months. Almost 200 entire days. That’s double my average drafting time. And it’s not like it was a behemoth of a book like book three was (with DOUBLE the word count, written for an overall period of five months). It’s final WC clocks in at a little over 114k words.

For me (and of course, this is just my pace, you may work differently), this was a major indication that this book was giving me a hard time. And not because of lack of plot-direction, but because I was having a hard time believing in the novel itself. I’d hate every chapter I’d write, but keep writing anyway, and that’s the thing with this book. I almost had to force myself to get it out there because I hardly believed in it as a whole.

This isn’t just because of the plot (which is hardly the reason), but has more to do with my writing. I had some major self-doubt when writing this book because it seemed as though I’d completely bombed in the writing department, and reversed the years of practice I’ve had. I felt like book four was a load of actual shit when writing the entire book from start to finish. And looking back on it, that’s kind of sad. Because the writing is some of the best I’ve produced--and while it’s not perfect by any means, these last couple weeks have really showed me that it’s really not nearly as terrible as I thought it was.

So yes. Ramble over. I just wanted to be completely honest with you guys, because writing this book was not a good experience for me, enjoyment-wise. Finishing it is another story. When I wrote that final sentence yesterday, I felt like I’d done something. I usually don’t feel much besides some nostalgia after finishing my books, but when I finished this one... It was like, I knew I poured my soul into every word written, and I was so incredibly proud of myself for doing so.

To end on a lighter note, here I am to list seven things writing this book taught me.

1. Writing a book is really, really, really, really hard.

So, I personally never had an issue with writing my other six books, honestly. It was like continuous waves of euphoria when writing--some minor struggles, here and there, and one major bump in the road, but beyond that, writing was easy.

AND THEN BOOK FOUR CAME.

I’ve outlined my struggles with writing this book above, but yeah, I kind of realized while writing this book that every book requires different things, and some are hella harder to write than others.

2. Sometimes, writing seems like my greatest strength, and my worst enemy.

What I mean by this is... Writing is something I love with all of my heart, and more than anything--it’s my passion. But while I love it, that admiration and care I have for writing is what makes me feel the most insecure. Because I love it so much, it’s become something I fear. And this is totally something I’m working on. I fear that my writing’s only getting worse. That my storytelling’s getting worse. That my creativity is dwindling. In reality, none of these things are true. I’ve loved words my entire life, and that’s never going to change. But it’s when doubt mingles with love that things get rough for me. This sucks, but I know it’s something that’ll continue to follow me--and any other creative--for the rest of my life.

3. I need to get off my back sometimes.

With this book, it was hard to look back at something and say I genuinely liked it. Because most of the time, I was so wound up in sadness when it came to the story and where it was going. I kind of forgot why I loved the book and its characters in the first place. I think this is bound to happen eventually to every writer--there’s always going to be that one book that was really hard to write. This book was mine. But I think this is important. It helped me grow. Helped me see the potential in something I really just wanted to finish and never have to deal with again.

4. Writing updates are great.

Yeah, definitely. This was probably the only thing I looked forward to doing when it came to writing this book, lol. I loved sharing my journey with you, and with this book. Writing updates have always been one of my favourite things to do, but with this book... I think they genuinely helped keep me on track when I felt like quitting.

So thank you. To you guys for reading them, and for supporting this blog. :)

5. Music and books might just save your dying project.

So. I figured out the a soundtrack album to this book when I was in NYC listening to Daughter’s Not To Disappear for the first time. That trip kicked off most of my major ideas for this novel, and so did the album. If you’re in a similar position to me right now--hating the project you’re working on--look out for music, and any other sort of creative inspiration.

On the days I was practically forcing myself to write, listening to this album saved me from just quitting. (I seriously hate quitting things guys, this isn’t something I’d even consider usually.) And towards the end of the book, it’s what pumped me up.

To name a few favourites from Daughter (which is all I listen to write this series, even when I wasn’t a huge fan writing book one) that carried me through to the end:

- Numbers, (Not To Disappear)

THIS SONG IS SO FIRE. If you’re into Daughter, and or any sort of indie music, you have to listen to this song. I listened to this on repeat while writing chapter 28 on Friday night.

- Made of Stone (Not To Disappear)

MORE FIRE. This was the first song I really saw as my MC’s theme song, (though Numbers beat it by a hair), and I loooove it. The final line, you’ll find love kid, it exists is lovely.

- Smother (If You Leave)

I’ve been listening to this song since writing book two in 2015, and it’s stuck with me. Gahhhhhhhhh. I’ve been loving their live performance of it live at Tate Britain (because the vocals, Igor’s playing, and the actual video are art). Watch it HERE.

- Doing The Right Things (Not To Disappear)

Also wrote chapter 28 to this gem. It’s so haunting and beautiful...

- Drift

I believe Drift is the b-side to Human (If You Leave), but I could be wrong. Regardless, this song is SO great. If you’re writing any sort of action, or emotional scene, listen to this song. There aren’t any vocals, so it’s awesome to listen to if you get distracted easily! Could not stop listening to this song when writing chapter 28. I repeated it maybe 10 times.

6. I have a writing style?

Yeah... So, I personally haven’t really seen this with my own eyes, but my sister, who reads alllllll of my work noted this, which made me really happy. I mean, a writing style hasn’t been something I’ve been working on, but I guess I see where she’s coming from, which was super, super cool! I think my actual style for this story has remained fairly consistent within the series, and branches out to a more casual style in my contemporaries, but yeah, this was something I actually found myself liking!

7. I love this book, and all of the things it taught me.

Not only did writing this book open me up to issues in today’s society (mental illness, sexual abuse, women’s rights), it helped me understand them in ways I hadn’t expected it would. Also, this book helped me a lot, in ways I didn’t expect. I was able to express grief through the novel (grief for the world, my own struggles, etc), and learn to cope.

I’ve been having probably the worst couple months of my life, and this book is something that kept me grounded. Regardless of the hard times I had writing it, it helped me, even in an incredibly minute way.

And I know... it’s odd to say I love this book when all I’ve expressed is how hard it was to write, but in reality--I really do love it. It’s taken six months to finally realize it, but I am so proud of that book, and myself, and how far I’ve taken my looooooong series thus far. This series has been a solid 500 000 words of my life, and I have zero regrets in contributing to that final number with over 100k words that came from the heart. It might sound stupid to say that I wrote this book and I hated writing most of it, but I regret nothing. But this is honestly the truth. Looking back on it, I will never regret writing this book and deciding to continue my series that was supposed to just be three books. I’m thankful I did, because I learned a lot of things I wouldn’t have if I didn’t write it.

So thanks, FOSTERED #4. For being the hardest thing I’ve written. Because if you weren’t I would not have grown and worked muscles of my brain I didn’t even know existed. And also, for still not having a name, even though it’s been six months, but that’s for another time. ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed this post. I know it’s a little... more emotional than my usual posts, but man, writing this book was emotional as helllll. I’m happy it’s over, but I’m sad it’s gone. I’ll miss this book, but I take away all I learned, and I won’t forget that.

As always, thanks for reading. :)

--Rachel

#Writing #fostered

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lycorogue · 6 years ago

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Glitches - The GRID (part 2)

Apparently I’m spending my day off now gushing on and on about my original work in a series of posts.

You can thank @cyhyr for this. If you don’t know why, you can check her ask here. The woman has opened the flood gates and I fear she knows not what she’s done.

In my last installment, I discussed what The GRID was, what the “species” of Glitches were, and demonstrated how the GRID works via 6 X-Men universe characters I re-worked into originals.

Now to do the same with the actual original characters.

FULL DISCLOSURE: While Lia, Willow, and Trish are all my characters, Chayse was created by my husband, who gave me full permission to use him in Glitches. Devon, on the other hand, was created by Cyhyr’s husband Ronoxym. While the two of us have one major co-writing project centered around Willow and Devon, and we have two more centered around Devon and Trish where it’s more of a writer’s exchange, Ron has not given me official permission to utilize Devon should Glitches ever become something I try to market. Devon will be removed from Glitches if I am never given that permission and/or if Ronoxym requests I don’t use his OC.

Working with the assumption that I will be given permission and/or Ron will come on as a co-author of Glitches, Devon remains one of the main five teenage characters.

To see how these powerhouses would be registered within The GRID, check below the break.

The Teenage OCs: All five of these main characters started their lives as OCs created for an X-Men universe RPG. Their Glitches counterparts are almost an exact adaptation of these RPG characters.

Chayse is the son of Emily and Ryder. Lia is the daughter of Keahi and Cody. Since I haven’t figured out the last names of any of these adult characters, these two teens also currently have no last name.

Chayse: Registration: Evoker-Mind-Beast triple Hybrid; Evoker Class: Energy Charmer; Mind Class: Silver-Tongue; Beast Class: enhanced endurance; Beast Hybrid Element: neon-green eye color

Chayse basically has both parents’ mutations, and at an evolved level. His body is capable of withstanding extra kinetic energy. This allows him to power up his own cells to jump higher, run faster and farther, hit harder, withstand more blunt-force impact, and - towards the start of the actual Glitches story - he learns that he can build up enough kinetic energy to vibrate his body between atoms; allowing him to phase through objects or turn himself essentially invisible. The evolution of his mother’s powers is offset by a lowered control of his father’s Silver-Tongue ability. It’s more of a heightened charisma sort of thing than an actual hypnosis.

Amelia “Lia”: Registration: Evoker-Beast-Tweaker-Mind Super-Hybrid; Evoker Class: Earth Summoner; Norm-Beast Multi-Class: enhanced endurance, and elemental immunity; Tweaker Class: Elemental; Mind Class: limited telekinesis

So, I’m not sure how I can get it to naturally come up in the story and have it really impact anything, but technically speaking: Lia’s a clone. Cody’s powers activated when his sperm impregnated Keahi, but since the embryo was nurtured with Keahi’s blood, and didn’t derive from Cody’s, it was Keahi that was inadvertently cloned. Since it wasn’t an intentional Soul Split, Lia matured naturally like any other embryo, which also included some residual DNA from her father. This evolved Keahi’s powers. Lia manipulates magma instead of just granite. Instead of Keahi’s reflexive granite armor, Lia’s reflexes turn her into living lava with an obsidian skin encasement. She is fully immune to being burned - even when fully encased in molten rock - and cannot be smothered by ash, volcanic toxic fumes, or smoke. She can create magma balls she can use offensively, or melt rocks into magma. She can also rapidly cool magma into rock in order to create things like pumice, granite, obsidian, etc. Much like her mother, there is a LOT to unpack with her powers.

Willow Driver: Registration: Mind-Mage-Beast Hybrid; Mind Multi-Class: Illusionist, Telekinetic, Telepath; Mage Class: plane-hopper; Beast Hybrid elements: silver-white hair and aquamarine eyes.

Willow’s main ability is to create illusions. She uses elements of telepathy and telekinesis to do this. She can manipulate the receptors in someone’s brain so that the illusion can be interacted with using all five senses. This resulted in people originally classifying her as a God-Level hybrid evoker, since every illusion she created seemed 100% real. The manipulation of the brain receptors are the telepathic element, but the telekinetic also kicks in to levitate someone to make things like stairs seem real. The ability to use telekinetic or telepathic powers outside of her illusions was only recently discovered at the start of the main Glitches story line. She is also technically considered a plane-hopper since she can astral-project, as well as linger on the astral plane. Her physical body doesn’t move, and in fact falls unconscious while she’s astral-projected. She can also “walk around” someone’s memories by subconsciously projecting them as an illusion within the astral-plane. Much like the Silver-Tongue ability, there are restrictions to her powers that I won’t go into detail about here.

Patricia “Trish” Morrison: Registration: Evoker-Beast Hybrid; Evoker Class: Fire Summoner; Beast Class: elemental immunity; Beast Hybrid element: flame-orange eye color

Much like Iggy, Trish has elemental immunity to fire. She can’t be harmed by it either through burning, heat, or smothering. There is a crucial difference between Iggy’s fire-charming and Trish’s fire-summoning. While Iggy can’t create fire, but he can manipulate it into shapes and even manipulate the density so fire can be tangible, Trish is the opposite. She can create fire - and even typically encases herself in flames - but she can’t manipulate it’s shape or density. She does still have the ability to increase or decrease the size of the fire, however, regardless of the amount of fuel feeding the flame.

Devon St. James: Registration: Evoker-Tweaker Hybrid; Evoker Class: Fire-Charmer; Tweaker Multi-Class: Morpher and regeneration

Devon’s Evoker abilities are exactly that of Iggy’s: can manipulate the size, shape, and density of fire, but he cannot create it. He also doesn’t have the added benefit of elemental immunity. He can be burnt by fire, or smothered by smoke. He can work around those downsides though. First, his fire charming allows him to also bend the heat of fire away from his skin. Fire he’s not concentrating on though, will be able to burn him. His other work around is his morphing ability. He can change the structure of his body via touch. His skin absorbs a bit of someone’s DNA, allowing his body to accept it as his own: allowing him to alter his own body to look and sound like the person he touched. There’s a lot of potential with this power, but that’s for another post. The added benefit of his morphing ability is that, since his cells are built to be changed on a whim, he has the side-effect ability of regeneration. So if his lungs are damaged from smoke, he can regenerate the tissue in order to keep breathing. If he loses a limb, the same applies. It takes a lot of energy to regenerate, so it is possible to drain him to the point where he can’t do so. On the flipside, if it takes him long enough to die, he can recover from normally fatal wounds. If this power were ever confirmed, he’d technically be added to the Mage Species under the Immortal class.

I think shifting Devon to Glitches accidentally made him more badass than he actually is. XD

Anyway, that’s all for this installment. I need to pretend I’m actually doing something productive today. Especially since I just spent about five hours talking about Glitches instead of cleaning my home or working on my NaNo story....

#Glitches #LycoRogue writing #original writing #The GRID #character builds #classifying characters #classifying powers #teen characters #Chayse #Lia #Willow #Trish #Devon #former RPG characters #my characters #my husband's character #Ronoxym's character #opened a can of worms #they're not as OP as they sound

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