#and it doesnt. it just makes me feel like shit to be called entitled or to see that theres people who will see reblogs over likes or w/e

[the-kipsabian]

i also did want to start work today with talking to one of the most difficult, anxiety inducing, entitled customers we’ve ever had!! :)

[the-smiling-doodler]

slams my head violently against the wall /neg

[thixms]

okay the way this all has come full circle. after almost exactly 7 years i finally finished airplanes. some ppl might remember my posts screaming about it (they sometimes still get likes i think lmao) so yea no i was like that deep into it and was like with that shit almost from day 1. crazy to see on tiktok that ppl are still talking about it and some ppl are only now getting into teen wolf/thiam and reading that fic. like everyone in the thiam fandom knows this fic is THE thiam fic. like i knew and know the fic is good but crazy to see that the fic i loved sm is still getting its recognition. i feel kinda like i'm "entitled" to say i was from day 1 !!! i knew it was gonna be good even there when not that many were around !! lmaoo. i only "abandoed" it cuz my lack of attention as a teenager threw me from hyperfixation and fandom to another. plus i got to experience actual life stuff and kinda abandoned my roots.. IT DOESNT MEAN THE FIC WASNT GOOD ENOUGH OKAY

but OKAY what i wanted to say is how fucking goood this fic is. yk it has to be good if i literally went back after "abandoning" it for 7 years and finish reading it. literally no fic in any fandom has managed to do that for me. and i still enjoyed it so so much! that's how you know the fic is good. i reread it and still laughed so fucking much like tf how is it possible for a fic to be so entertaining and good? it makes fucking sense why. it's timeless, it's a masterpiece. istg, i'd almost say it's canon now or like at least some of its thiam headcannons def are canon to me. like i'm not sure id airplanes came out w the idea that theo likes biology or it was actually mentioned in teen wolf?? that's how good the characterization of thiam was like i really am getting canon and airplanes canon mixed up lmao. @thiamfresh i think you might know by now what kind of a cultural reset you created for the thiam fandom but i just wanted you to read and know it again for sure. i don't even know if u still use tumblr.. but i think i saw some time ago you posting about seeing some hate being written about airplanes and you feeling insecure about it. and i just wanted to say you really shouldn't pay attention to it!! i hope this long ass rant post will show you how good and loved this fic is. it's still getting mentioned so so often in the fandom. like it's some find of bible or like manual to thiam as the ship lmaoo. so yea, me loving this fic as a somewhat developed adult and someone a bit more removed from the fandom defenitely a testemant to how good it is.

okay now i gotta rant about my life tho..

because jesus, i also only realized now that it was one of the first few fics i read on ao3 (i was a wattpad reader before, don't shame me pls, we all had to come from somewhere). but yea no, crazy that thiam was literally the start of me being solely reading fics (& fics of other fandoms) on ao3, as well as LITERALLY CREATING THIS TUMBLR BLOG??? HELLO?? IT'S LITERALLY CALLED THIXMS LMAO. it's crazy that it's been 7 years like wdym 7??? that's fucking long ago. i'm not even that old??? (i'm feeling really old rn) like how is my thiam phase already 7 years ago (and literally why did it come back after literal 7 years lmao). i mean, my teen wolf stan (as well as my thiam stan) kinda already came out last year with the release of that trashy ahh movie we're not gonna talk about. but yea no there i failed to commit and finish the fic and didn't get deep into the fandom enough. life happened tbh. but yea no 2023 and 2024 (especially 2024) crazy ass years. the way i experienced so much (good) real life shit, literally lived out my (childhood/teenage) dreams but also fell back into my weird niche interests??? like how tf did i have time for that??? (my sleep schedules hella fucked. it's fucked from every direction by the amount of unresolved jetlags i have).

what i'm trying to say is: 14yo me reading airplanes would never believe what 21 yo me will experience and be able to do but also won't believe i'm still reading the same fic (no i would, i really thought i was soo deep into this thiam shit that i'd still be obsessed even when i'm an adult and i wasn't wrong lmao). makes sense why i feel like time hasn't moved on and i'm still a teenager. i'm literally doing the same thing as 14yo me. laying in bed ranting on tumblr about thiam.. jeeez, it should be embarrassing ngl.

[simtleman]

MORE TOWNIES COMING YOUR WAY!

So here's another household I've created for my Vintage Save File: meet the Dalton family, one of the wealthiest lineages in Del Sol Valley. They are indeed richer than any other family in town, but most of the High Society refuses to mingle with them as they all know the Daltons are not only what they consider to be tacky "new money", but also kind of dirty. Still, allow me to introduce you to each and every one of them:

Dito Dalton:

Dito is the head of the family. A shady character for sure, he comes from the poorest of backgrounds but was always determined to make it and make it big. It's no secret he made his fortune by smuggling liquors & spirits into the country during the Prohibition Era... among other "businesses". Rumor has it he's also involved with the Mafia and, therefore, the murders and disappearances that are taking place in Del Sol Valley lately. No one knows for sure, but no one wants to mess with him and find out. You know, just in case.

He feels a special predilection for his son Diretes, who he's hoping will take over the family business once he's too old to carry on. His other son Dimes, on the other hand... always seems to find a way to dissapoint him. What is wrong with that kiddo?

Daltonia Dalton:

Daltonia married Dito when he didn't have a dime to his name, believing he would someday fullfill his promise of giving her everything she deserved and dreamed of. And boy, did he delivered! Daltonia now enjoys the lifestyle she always knew she was meant to have, and is quite unapologetic about it. Vain, frivolous and entitled, she's aware of what everyone in town says about her husband, but she doesn't really care about where the money is coming from... as long as it keeps on coming.

However, she's a great mom to her twin sons Dimes & Diretes. She's always caring & supportive, especially to Dimes, who has different goals for himself than those his dad has set for him and whose personality always seems to be crashing with Dito's.

Dimes Dalton:

Dimes' not only good looking, he's also incredibly sensitive and affectionate... both qualities his father Dito and twin brother Diretes don't care about nor appreciate. They're always telling him he should show more interest in the family affairs, but Dimes has a secret dream he doesn't even dare to mention to his dad: he wants to become a great chef. "Cooking?", he knows he would say. "Why don't you leave the domestic duties to women and focus on what a real man should be doing?". Ugh.

His mom on the other hand fully supports him, though she's always kind of pushy when it comes to his dating life. "Why don't you ever go out with girls, Dimes? Any gal should be lucky to have such a warm, loving man like you!"... if only she knew wanting to be a chef's not the only secret Dimes is keeping!

Diretes Dalton:

No matter how hard his mom tries to keep him away from trouble, Diretes' always finding new ways to get involved in the worst kind of scenarios and with the worst kind of people. An attitude his father Dito finds quite endearing though, as it reminds him of himself when he was Diretes' age. Diretes' also quite a lover boy: he knows his way around the ladies and is not afraid of making the most of his abilities. He deeply admires Dito's firm hand with others and his determination to succeed, so he's always running errands for him and trying to imitate his ways around... in hopes of someday inheriting the empire his father has built.

Truth being told, Diretes doesnt' have the best relationship with his twin brother Dimes, but listen... he won't think twice to beat the shit out of whoever dares to call him "sissy" again.

That's it for me today, I hope you guys learn to love this family the same way I have even though they're far from flawless and see you on my next post! :)

[aizenat]

Oh, and the Arab people with British accents trying to talk down to Black Americans are hilarious to me. Didn’t your nation leave the EU because you idiots thought no one would vote for the referendum and so yall didn’t care to show up and vote? Didn’t yall have a conservative government for the last decade that you literally just voted out a couple of months ago? Doesn’t your fucking country ALSO SEND MONEY TO SUPPORT ISRAEL BECAUSE THEY’RE A PART OF NATO AND BRITAIN IS DETERMINED TO BE AMERICA LITE????

Funny how when yall had YOUR election, I didn’t hear any Americans telling yall that voting Labour was the same as voting Tory, and you’re a horrible person for voting Labour and not just letting the conservatives win (especially when Labour leaders were being very loud in their support of Israel). How come yall weren’t expected to not vote as a fuck you to zionist positions in the Labour Party? How come yall didn’t call people in your own country voting for Labour bad people who don’t care about Palestinians and genocide??????

I get America is a “superpower,” but that doesn’t mean we should just let yall talk down to us and yell at us about our own country like we don’t live here and know. In fact, this reaction the first time Americans actually did start giving a fuck about calling out our country for its imperialism (BTW, WE’VE ACTUALLY BEEN DOING THAT: VIETNAM, IRAQ/AFGHANISTAN, AND NOW PALESTINE; WE BEEN PROTESTING THESE WARS! JUST BECAUSE OUR MEDIA DOESNT COVER IT AND SHOW IT TO THE WORLD DOESNT MEAN IT WASNT HAPPENING), I can see people who may have started getting into geopolitics backing off because nothing we do is ever good enough. We not even allowed to vote in our own best interests without our support being questioned. GTFO of here with that shit. Who are you talking to? We’re not Ray j down the way, we’re the fucking activists keeping this conversation going!

And to zero in on BLACK PEOPLE of all people to say we not doing enough?????? Yall are crazy. The whites don’t care, the Asians don’t care, the Latinos and Hispanics don’t care. But you zero in on US? The literal group of people in this country who have the LEAST amount of power? I was laughing because one girl was like “yall join the military and gleefully spread imperialism” and like sure Black people are over represented in the military (we’re 14% of the population but make up about 17-20% of the military force); HOWEVER, when I was looking those numbers up, I was directed to an article saying how despite being over represented as soldiers, we are UNDERREPRESENTED AS COMMANDING OFFICERS/TOP BRASS! Meaning we are not the ones making the decisions on who we attack!

Out of 46 presidents, ONE had been Black. ONE. There had still, as of 2024, NEVER BEEN A BLACK FEMALE GOVERNOR OF ANY STATE IN THE US.

Just because there are some rich Black celebs and Obama was a recent memory does not mean WE HAVE POWER in this country! Our issues are ignored just like y’all’s! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO???????

The disrespect man lol. I’ll always support Palestine, but am I mad at the ones saying “I’m going to focus on supporting the Congo/Sudan/Haiti” instead? Nah. Cuz yall feel so entitled to us being your slaves doing the work of your activism but don’t know how to give us even the slightest of respect to not tell us we’re bad ppl just for being excited to vote in our first female black president. GTFO. I’m super hype to vote for Kamala. I’m buying merch from her campaign to support and spread awareness to get more to vote for her. That makes you mad, don’t care.

[chiquititaosita]

I was reading one of ur op fics so I looked through the rest of urs only to find out that y/n is hispanic latine or whatever u guys call it😐why does she have to be hispanic why cant she just be y/n if you want to make ur writing for a specific group of people u should go write somewhere else bc it doesnt feel like anyone can read it, u guys aren’t all that important to be writing for urselves either💀

I’ll tell you why!! BECAUSE I MOTHER FUCKING CAN I can, and it’s my writing. Not yours. If you have a fucking problem with my writing you shouldn’t have used the anon filter on my asks and man up for being a fucking Mensa . Como que Not all important? Your ask isn’t important did I ask for your opinion??? NO! If you’re mad at the fact I have people that LOVE MY HISPANIC READER FICS? That’s on your entitlement. Btw I don’t write as much AND I GET PEOPLE HYPING MY SHIT UP! Me hierve la sangre that you have the entitlement to state that “oh why she gotta be Hispanic?” REPRESENTATION THATS WHY!!! if you have a problem then unfollow me. QUISTE A LA VERGA 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[unrealblacklightvirus]

alex pronoun/gender time (spoilers for prototype 1 & 2)

okay i just want to preface this with. i am not super familiar with lgbtq+ terminology or labels so i apologize in advance if i say something weird or wrong (please correct me if i do! i am.. like an old man but i am willing to learn) but i do wave the trans flag myself :) also note that this my personal headcanon for alex, you are entitled to your own interpretations about alex !! (and i like seeing the differences between them)

alex is torn between his viral nature vs. the man he was. for almost all of his life he had nothing to go off of except his name and the memories of alex others would tell him, like dana or karen parker and so hes lost. lost and trying to find something to ground him, especially when the hivemind is pulling him in all these directions and the people hes consumed fill his mind with memories that arent his .

he wants to hold onto something that he knows is true to alex mercer, he wants to stay as close to the original mercer as he can (barring his douchebag personality) because that is what people percieve as "human"; a pretty bad example of a human, but a human nonetheless. hence, keeping the he/him pronouns because it makes him feel like he is just like them (them being society. he wants to fit in LOL)

he rejects the it/its pronouns (i think it/its pronouns are dope as hell but for my alex it doesnt really fit the characterization i gave him), mainly because its what blackwatch calls him to take away his humanity and treat him more as a weapon more than a person . he hates being called "it", it can really piss him off (and he rarely gets pissed off) .he wants to be more like what society thinks of as a "person's" pronouns?

of course, he is a shapeshifter who can flawlessly mimic other humans who, surprise! use other pronouns than he and him. so when he's in a disguise, he takes on the pronouns of whoever he is at that moment (she/her, they/them, ze/zir, it/its, all the others) without a single shit given. hes just as comfortable with those pronouns as he is with his, when hes shapeshifted.

its when blackwatch knows its alex and still use it/its that ticks him off, although there are some exceptions (like being undercover with someone, being a friend and .not blackwatch, etc). now that i think of it, alex, even when disguised, is still okay with he/him as long as its not in front of blackwatch or people who dont know hes a shapeshifting viral monster who is normally a man but sometimes everything else.

as for actual gender.... hes... i dont know how to describe it. both cis and agender? does that make sense? i headcanon him to be cis, like a cis male (and i think doc mercer too? but i dont really think about him that much) but also being a literal viron that has no gender because it is a virus. which have no gender. and he is no gender and all the genders inside because of the people hes consumed but he is a male??? this is confusing. hes confusing. hes confused. we are both confused.

he knows hes not human and therefore doesnt have to abide with human binaries, but he takes comfort in being a man - a human. in P2, the reason for him becoming Evil is because he manages to go on a international vacation to the places on earth where somehow, only the worst of humanity lives? and he never sees a glimpse of goodness and selflessness and love and joy ever during that whole period? and decides that everyone is just as bad as the worst of the worst and that only the strong (and apparently not evil? even though his actions are literally. Evil??????) shall survive?

what the FUCK, writers.

so i said FUCK YOU and gave this man a unquenchable thirst for life and hope and kindness and curiosity and learning. he will find humanity. he will see the bad but also the good and he will find that humans are not perfect but they are also humans who learn and create and grow and make mistakes! that the world is this grey, not so black and white, that he can make a difference not by some fucked up viral eugenics but by . being good and being helpful and being kind and loving and friendly and a ridiculous viral puppy dog cat thing that makes people laugh and smile.

. i like happy endings. sue me.

[away-ward]

Got some points to share :) What i dont understand the most is the fandom's hypocrisy of demanding emmy to be so accommodating to will despite her circumstances (even in the present) as if he was not one of the MOST PRIVILEGED WHITE MAN in his town or county, and most of the shit he got into was his own fault. He had old money WEALTH. Old. Money. Wealth. And he was also supported by the society AND institution, how is the fandom making him look like HE was the one who suffered most here? So much wealth that emmy didnt have, and yet he never spent a single cent to contact her again even after he saw her bruised and bloodied, yet the fandom expected her to come back to him? Like this guy prioritised his hurt feelings over her rejection rather than her ACTUAL HEALTH AND SAFETY knowing that nobody in that town gave a fuck about her at all. Will can spend all his inheritance and his mommy and daddys money on booze, alcohol, parties, sex parties, women, escort services, big cars, helicopter rides, YET he couldnt be there for emmy? Not even a call? A free email? Right. Sorry, but emory scott always deserves better to me, not will grayson. If i was emory, i woudve hurt her more ngl, im kinda vengeful with whiny bitches like will grayson. I cant stand him. I just knew that the reason why this fandom likes to pile on emmy because: 1. she admitted her fault and took responsibility of her actions unlike will, 2. She made it clear he didnt owe her anything (even when will himself said he shouldve staye) and didnt think she was entitled to will unlike will to emmy, 3. Its easier to sympathise over a sad white privileged guy after everything he did or didnt do to "his woman" because RoMaNce where if they can read about him simping about her in his mind, he was immediately ABSOLVED OF ALL GUILT AND WRONGDOINGS TO EMMY. But the devils night fandom is not ready for this take. Also because 4. when they said they like dark romance, they can only take shitty men like michael and damon, but hate it when the sex and gender was the opposite. My point is, its dark romance, if will can be shit, why cant emmy? Period. I dont even care if they get even at that point.

Thanks to this fandom, i thought about alex, this useless side character more than i had to so i had to. I'm also an alex hater through and through and i agree with a lot of anon and your points about alex here. In fact, i love the alex slander actually because putting aside some valid criticisms about how a lot of twitter dn fans are just misogynistic towards her because of their bias towards emmy, there are actually a lot of valid points why alexs character was just icky and you and that anon are the only ones that i have seen so far that have the same take as me. They like to dismiss our takes with "oh its an emory scott fans thats why, its the jealousy" like huh? First of all, why didnt yall talk about wills hypocrisy of sleeping around with everyone in a skirt but was jealous as fuck of damon and aydin bonds with emmy? Yeah, right. Second of all, even emory can be rational when willalex were giving her shit, just because emmy was emotional in those moments, doesnt mean she was irrational. She was literally kidnapped to an abandoned island with no one there to help her and will made it clear he didnt give a fuck about her and reminded her how she was nothing to him. Alex who was supposedly her "friend" wanted her to stay and help will as if she had no other job and responsibilities outside of will. Why would she stay? Shes not even rich, she gotta go back home and pay her bills. Stupid argument honestly. Tbh, My dislike for alex was not even because of her relationship with Will. They both owed emmy nothing, even em knew this. A big part of the fandom hates alex because of this willalexs take but i personally dont agree with this take tbh. Instead of blaming alex on this, the argument between alexemmy started because it was on will, and even aydin to a certain extent, for being a fucking loser of a man, and for pitting two women against each other.

But i also wanna just say to these people who defended alex palmer so much: lets not act as if alex never had a history of laughing at other women when SHE was being put on a pedestal, instead of someone else (especially with michael to rika in corrupt, and damon to winter in kill switch) either. Like rika, banks, winter, and alexs relationship started with misogyny. LIKE LITERALLY. Only alexemmys relationship started with a bonding OUTSIDE of being pitted against one another no matter how weird the circumstances was. Even then, theyre still just on acquaintances level yk. And i feel like alex felt challenged and angry at emmy in nightfall because she thought emmy was better than her (alex chose to believe because her shallow world had not allowed her to think about anything else as long as it justified her anger. She also probably was jealous and look at emmys situation and think emmy didnt have to do anything but all these men were going to jail for her, suddenly being her brothers and protective of her, bonding with the guys or smth like that, and later have access to so much wealth, ad compared to her who had been an escort etc., yet still she had nothing. Its totally irrationally personal, her anger towards emmy was not rational at all). Its the jealousy and inferiority speaking tbh.

Look at the way aydins ex, rika, banks, thunders bay people etc. talk to her? Like shit. Whether its in front or behind her back. Now did this misogyny happened for alexemmy's friendship? Nope! Best girl Emory Scott thats right! Even rika, banks and winter had slutshamed alex and other women with various degrees, but look at the way emmy talk about sex workers? (These girls too grew up with so much isogyny so understandably, they had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Theyre so different in nightfall, love that for them tbh). Like heavens and earth and i think its easier for people like alex to accept being treated like shit because unhealthy female relationship and rivalry was what she was always used to, and she always had to be the person to initiate being the "cool girl who'll just roll with everything", especially with her relationship with banks) that when she found a healthy and supportive female friend that didnt start like shit, and would ACTUALLY take her side instead of their man (will or aydin), she was kinda shocked and became stupid, not knowing how to react to it in a kinder manner. Its like a defense mechanism. Alex never rose her voice to rika, banks and winter, unlike what she did to emmy and its because she probably never felt challenged by them because their men still paid for her services so what can these women do much to her really + she never saw aydin took interest in them like he did with emmy (disregarding the manipulation aside, im trying to make people understand her possible pov). This is why woman should have healthy female relationships! No one wants to be like corrupt rika, pre-marriage banks/ winter and nightfall alex! No one wants to admit that alex too, just everyone else, had internalised misogyny. I dont think anyone ever noticed the nuances really, alex hid it too well, but it shone through in her lowest moments unlike emmy. Because when emmy was at her lowest, she never humiliate alex to step on her like what alex did to emmy in blackchurch or on the train, but emmy straight up attack will (verbally) because why would she attack alex? Will was the one who hurt emmy not alex. But aydin attacked alex, and its emmys fault that alexs man was shitty? She was so wrong for that. Emmy never even shame her throughout nightfall, so this only highlights how different emmy's character in this series. Ngl, i think only Emory is the true girls' girls in this series. *Side note, Alexaydin, sigh... such fucking cowards this couple tbh.

Wasnt it also mentioned in conclave that alex had a fall out with her ex's roommate and then she was labelled "the slut" as if the three of them were not being stupid horny college students together, but alex was the only person who be the bad guy. That must have caused a lot of resentment in her because then she just became an escort not only to support her education and lifestyle, but also to use it against aydin. How does that even compare to emmy's pain, honestly! Theyre literally not the same and the fandom always like to dismiss em's pain just because em looked at her highly even when the text in the books shows otherwise. Alex couldve quit her job anytime now, she didnt need the money anymore, she did it for personal fun, sexual liberation and revenge against aydin. And now that when she went through the SAME THING that she did to other women by laughing at them and got treated like shit back, wow suddenly, emmys seen as a bitch? Huh? Emmy never even laughed at her face or looked down on her unlike others, not even once in nightfall unlike rika, banks or even winter, so i believe alexs stupid shit in nightfall was really out of inferiority complex and jealousy. Like "shes better than me thats why i had to put her down" kinda complex. The hypocrisy was too much but i dont think anyone really noticed this. Thats why alexs character was shit to me because her arc was so??? Where did this misogyny came from? But then when i think again and piece her story from the start, it made sense because to a certain extent, alex probably had looked down at all these rich people (including women bcs if her ex roommate) with their rich problems and then she met emmy, who didnt fit in with these stereotypes she had about people of thunder bay, and she had heard a lot of good things about em from will prob, so her sex worker card that she likes to use against these people suddenly dont work anymore because she realised that she wasnt the only one suffering. She cant best her, so in her moment of anger, she had to step over emmy in front of everyone but really, it just proves how nasty of a person she is and shownhow ugly her jealousy can be. Thats why she couldnt argue back with emmy after. She fucked up, but no one really noticed this because her misogyny wasnt so blatant like those in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch. What i also dont understand is how she always talk as if she was a victim EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Her speeches in corrupt, conclave and nightfall just solidified alexs characterisation. I cant stand her tbh, all of alexrika conversations really rot my brain lmao, because they always give these two stupid friends talking about eveyrthing and nothing vibes.

Since this is dark romance, i can understand if pd wants to put a character like alex, or any women really to be shit, but alexs fans didnt have to act like the annoyance towards her was because people cant stand willalex, as if alex herself was a snow white who can do no wrong or something, when she was proven that she did, was shitty sometimes. Like her mary sue character was even worse than rika 😭🤣 And the thing is, if everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemens family. The fact that these women are their partners, everyones already guilty just by association, like what emmy said to alex in the train. So why put alex or anyone from dn, on such a high pedestal so much? (Alex is kinda Like kai in her morally right shit, but she just got more fleck for it). Even i admit that emmy wasnt always a nice girl either but i wasnt delusional like alex and her fans tbh. Ugh, so annoying. Hopefully the bonus contents we're gonna get by pd soon only has exclusive willemmy contents for willemmy. or i will riot!!

Yeah, some of the readers need to re-evaluate their perspective. But I really don’t want to convince anyone to see things my way so…

hopefully they stay wherever they’re at. As I’ve said before, I haven’t involved myself with any of the discourse or in-fighting in the fandom, so I’m not sure what they’re arguing over, but it sounds like a waste of energy and time. I mean, I get it’s willemmy vs willalex, but…like. Ugh could you imagine making that the center of your fandom experience? Horrible.

You make a good point about the start of the friendship between Alex and Emory. I’ve never been…happy (?) with how it started, because it involved Alex making a whole lot of assumptions about Emory and being right…because she’s Alex and she’s always right…of course. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be Alex. And then to have that be the one night they spend with each other, and suddenly Alex understands Emory like no one else. She gets her.

How?

Oh, right. It’s Alex. Enough said.

The idea that Alex couldn’t process anything that challenged her justifications for her anger because that would mean she’s wrong about something. It would be an actual flaw on her part. And that her feelings for Emory were borne a bit of jealousy. I’d have like if her character and went farther in that direction.

I think for my part, I always considered Alex’s main motive toward Emory was knowing that Will was still in love with her and that Emory had the power and ability to hurt him as she had before. She was protective of Will – “her reflection.” It’s nice to see another possibility/side of it. You make a good point. I guess I never considered Alex feeling inferior to Emory. Emory’s background being different from the people she’s surrounded herself with, to then see Emory rise above that and carry on, leaving Will behind like she probably saw Aydin rejecting her, and suddenly seeing the way Will and Aydin react to Emory might have made her feel small and like a stand-in, which she is for so many.

I agree that it’s a little out of bounds to compare Alex’s pain with Emory’s.

You said she couldn’t argue back with Emory and I’m not sure of the moment you’re talking about but the first thing that came to mind was “that’s my shirt”…like, girl. Girl. Are we being that pathetic right now? But yeah. Alex’s “justified” anger was weak. And her framing herself as the victim was annoying.

“If everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemen’s family.” Yeah, exactly.

I had to put the book down and take a deep breath with Rika said “I had to remind myself we weren’t really criminals.” Or something like that. Excuse me, ma’am, but what? You’re not what now? Have you not been paying attention? You cannot erase the last three-to-four years.

Alex is like Kai in her moral superiority is not a take I thought I’d ever see but…there it is. Nice to see they have something in common.

I didn’t know we were getting any bonus content but you’re the second person who’s told me. I hope we get something good for NF.

[narwhalandchill]

anyway uhh jokes and the mayhem aside i am. not looking forward to the eminent discourse and the hsr vs genshin situation flaring up again thanks to W + ratio incident.

(ensuing ramble dont mind me)

and like. for me im kinda like? idk not distraught enough to call myself torn or anything but it sure is a bit of a Huh moment to look at the way hsr operates w the community and all compared to genshin.

btw i have no like great morsels of wisdom here im just word vomiting some thoughts lmao

but like. logically (or should i say. rational- *GUNSHOT*) and purely from i guess the "hoyo" slash business pov. its 2 different games from different teams that belong to different genres and operate in vastly distinct environments in terms of like. competition and player retention. a turn based game like hsr isnt the kind of like. groundbreaking juggernaut that genshin was and is to this day (like. the famous "genshin killers" wya lmao). so to a certain extent at least its like. i can see how it affects this stuff i guess. genshin to this day hasnt felt the true pressure and need to care abt the community the way hsr is clearly angling more for.

but also imagine genuinely whiteknighting the genshin side of things to just settle for that excuse alone WDJWJKJWDKWD no fucking way 💀 like. that is Not the point im making at all. bc there comes a certain point where its just. yeah theres arguments to be made abt how the games differ and how hsr incentivizes pulling for and makes more new 5* charas and has no open world so needing to distribute f2p pulls thru other means is a must etc etc etc. but theres a point where that just falls flat.

and while i do agree the genshin community can strike up shitstorms that are more about outrage than anything substantial like. first anniversary with google classroom and all of that being a good example. but having Been there. while it was taken too far at points the reality of that saga always was about the cumulative community feeling hitting its breaking point. it was a lot of things accumulating and piling up in terms of frustration that led up to that 2.1 meltdown and honestly hoyo can only blame themselves. no need to relive that one too much my point just is that while for me (at least for now) im not feeling any of that like. deep hollow disappointment at realizing genshin will never truly beat (and arguably, i dont rly think its ever wanted to) the allegation of. the hsr team just being allowed much more freedom in terms of fostering goodwill w the community and stuff. i can still genuinely understand if this ratio thing for hsr ends up becoming another final straw for that feeling to rise up again for some genshin players. bc just like 2.1 this too is a cumulative thing. hsr is getting new gamemodes. constant massive QoL. freebies and limited-time events with permanent story and gameplay content. responding to and addressing tons of player complaints. genshin is... attempting some QoL? a tiny bit? like its just a whole situation.

and that feeling genuinely sucks. obviously dont attack random people like the cast or minor devs with no executive power or google classroom. or fuel this whole hsr vs genshin tribalism thats apparently athing. thats so stupid. fuck off. if i see another assassination attempt on dawei bc of hsr getting free fucking ratio i dont even know what to say 💀

but still its easy to be all "wow entitled terminally online gacha players" and yeah that can be true but i also dont like reducing all of that long term resentment from unaddressed complaints and issues and tiny disappointments accumulating over time for people who very much love genshin and want to be able to love it even more. to just like. haha greedy people want freebies. ofc hoyo doesnt owe us shit its a company and even with hsr this generosity shouldnt be turned into some parasocial "oh theyre on our side" thing. its just two games that want to make money. genshin and hsr both.

but it still sucks that theres such a discrepancy. and as long as ur not being toxic about how and when u express it i think that feeling is completely fair and valid. its not nice being passionate about a game and its potential while investing time and possibly money into it and still getting treated like shit year after year just bc genshin is still too successful to be forced into caring about us peasants lmao. venting and memeing and even sending appropriate complaints to hoyo are all fair game to me lmao. go wild

tho i will have to say that i do think the ultimate antidote to that feeling of disapppointment in particular imo still consists of touching grass like. its not good to be overtly attached to this stuff on an emotional level. i get why people would end up in that position esp given how genshin literally started during quarantine and was a massive source of comfort and joy in incredibly tough times for so many (myself included). but still. hoyo is simply not ur friend and ultimately its still just a couple of gacha games. finding other sources of happiness and comfort is v important. but being affected by this baseline isnt an individual failure or something wildly unreasonable at all.

for me im not too emotionally affected or anything but i cant deny this thing does have me thinking a good bit. as someone who naturally gravitates more towards genshins open world and its style of worldbuilding and aesthetic and its characters so even if i do enjoy hsr overall its just. a bit of a bitter taste u get in the mouth from all of this.

im not interested in discoursing on this or even like. protesting against hoyo particularly bc its clear that the genshin team has chosen its stance on the matter and i doubt another incident will really sway them much. the push will need to come from elsewhere if things are to ever change. im happy to get these freebies in hsr and i hope the game continues evolving and getting better bc it sure does have its flaws too. and the same for genshin. in a way a lot of the good in hsr is due to the hindsight 20/20 from genshins pitfalls and problems too (as well as arguably the literal sink or swim hsr faced from the poor reception to aspects of 1.0-1.3). unfortunately i doubt genshin would have the guts or be given the resources to retroactively address and fix those very same things in their own game. which is a shame.

anyway i dont have any particular point im going for with this i suppose i just wanted to get these silly thoughts off my chest. L + ratio to W + ratio was hilariously iconic and im still incredibly hype for all these things hsr has given us to look forward to even if the discrepancy with genshin does cast a shadow over this a bit. and i still love genshin and will keep playing it and keep hoping it can improve over time and get better. ultimately i care less about free ayaka at AR 42 becoming reality because "ratio hsr!!!1!1" than the devs genuinely investing the time and effort needed to make this game all the things it has the potential to be going forward. but im not holding my breath.

so yeah. if u stuck all the way with this whole situation u get a sticker. many thoughts in the head and you people following me are stuck with them im afraid JKJKDWJKWDJKDW

[dumbbitchfrommars]

okay so, he’s entitled to the ability to ignore me now. hes completely valid to be angry and upset and over my shit now and thats all good and fine. 

the real takeaway from this is the lesson. mistakes teach us the best lessons, so what will i learn from this? i dont gain anything from sitting here and wallowing in my guilt and hurt. yes ive fucked up (again) and yes this has happened many times before and very well may happen again. 

but what will i learn from it? will i change my behaviours for next time? im learning to be more confrontational in the moment at work. but what about in my friendships and relationships? its true that i formulate made up narratives and stories about reality when i dont bring issues up as soon as they arise, and they grow and mutate into huge non-existent problems. like thinking my sister hates me and doesnt have the time for me and thinks im a draining force in her life, when she misses 2 or 3 of my calls. or thinking my friend is a misogynist and making posts aimed at me because he made some stories telling his mates to not get bogged down by a woman. 

its beyond the fear of confrontation. its anxiety. its pure unadulterated and unrelenting anxiety. funny that this happens after possibly the most stressful day of the most stressful week of my life. 

ive been proven wrong and its humbling to say the least. i feel like the immature one now. and to think most of this narrative came from discussing him with con and my sister. i need to listen to myself and my own intuition and i need to just stop fucking jumping to conclusions for once in my fucking life. jesus this is my biggest red flag. 

to be fair this is a really good isolated situation for this to happen. cause i care enough about him to think about it properly. it always happens with men. actually. with people i have feelings for. it always happens when i care too much. no wonder i avoid getting close to people. ugh. this is not good at all. i need to show all of this to my psychologist i think. 

[bubsub69]

Entry 1

entries 1-13 were written pre-tumblr

12/05/2023 4:08

4am what better time to start a diary, who knew waking up for 9am classes and then at noon on the next day and then 9am etc could fuck up your sleep schedule.

But yeah… why start a secret encrypted diary now? the first one i've ever made? idk, im just tired and afraid and sick of being lonely and touch starved and all the other stuff

Definetely didnt help to scroll through r/niceguys and seeing the I'm 21 kissless virgin that was bullied and ignored by girls that isnt sexist and racist and doesnt do drugs and thinking wow its literally me and then it being followed by females owe me sex the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12n0m5q/ngvc_im_not_a_sexist_but_females_owe_me_sex/

cause you know… what if i become like this, what if i become an even bigger nuisance than i already am and/or fuck up my chances of ever finding someone, it's especially worrysome that i felt bad for some of the guys, you know simpathizing with the kind of people that call women whores for not wanting the nice guy, cant believe i went to the subreddit because of the omoriboy soy parody (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahPdX90_6jg).

And then there's the someone i found ish just gonna call her D She replied to my post on the femdompersonals subreddit and it was pretty close to love at first sight, but probably very one sided, i mean shit she was now moving from the us to porto what better luck could i want. But she's been very busy, especially with the moving, it took from her texting me on the 26 of april to the 7th of may just to have a 1 hour call.

And boy that call was something, i literally think it was the only time i was genuinely happy in like.. i dunno a month? a year? more? i couldnt even sleep that night, i really needed that call cause i thought she was just fucking with me at that point, you know pretending to be interested and catfishing me for something but no i got a 1 hour call and she even showed me her face at the end, i was kinda expecting something sexual but no it was just getting to know each other which is fine for a first call, she's a really cool and interesting girl, i did think it was weird she just went to walk her dog mid conversation but i guess its something that cant wait, it probably had to pee as well.. maybe it was actually nice of her not to hang up on the call while she was walking the dog.

But yeah i'm kind of back at square one, shes not busy with moving but she has a million hobbies apparenly that she balances with her work and learning a new language and all that stuff, shes had a non specified workshop and a ceramics class as excuses which.. yeah im doubting if shes actually doing, i even commented wow you have a lot of hobbies which i was scared of doing cause i didnt want to imply shes lying even if i have the gut feeling she is, and it makes me feel awful to not trust her, but honestly i think i'd be fine with all that if she just put some initiative in texting, literally the only time she texted first was for a link to a game that she didnt even comment on, really makes ya wonder is she doing some 'woman games™' or just fucking with me or just seeing how far she can push me.. fuck i am becoming an incel, cause you know its the classic i have a life outside of you, you cant just expect me to make time for you everyday but fuck maybe the first call was a bad ideia cause now i just crave more, i seriously think theres some potential here but not if she doesnt have time for me, which im obviously not entitled to but ofc i still want it.

im just so scared of texting her, if i do it too often i might annoy her, if i dont do it enough she might forget about me.. i dont even know whats worse, i tried texting every other day but that also seems like too much, i dunno do i just wait for her to text me and make a call appoinment, it also kind of doesnt help i dont even know her name or age, granted she doesnt know my name either but yeah its another layer of anonymity that i want to get rid of, maybe i should try on the weekend, its when we had the call and she might have time, we'll see

She did kind of mention meeting up one day, dont know if she was just being nice of something, but i just wish i knew how she feels about me, or just get some advice with texting her, i dont want to be disingenuous either and write what someone else tells me to, how do i balance being needy and not annoying.

and theres also the voice.. i'm honestly starting to worry im losing control to the self degrading voice i have inside me, that thing is real mean, its whats making me distrust her and shit, i even thought i 'defeated' it with the call but it just came back same as before. The youre useless and an annoyance and all those thoughts are kind of starting to worry me a bit, especially since the suicide thoughts are becoming a bit too common, im still far from it, im too scared to do it, but the first step of commiting suicide is having the reason to do it, and i also think im kind of becoming a psycopath, not in the edgy way its just ive become so apathetic lately, the 'mom would be sad' strategy doesnt work at all cause im so sick of her, between being annoying and not trusting me and being dumb and the shit she did to my cousin and kind of being blamed cause shes getting unknown disease cause of stress, ive kind of grown to hate her a bit i did cry a bit when i got my cousin's graduation ribbon (its a thing here, you write shit like good job and good luck), reading the only ribbon that i got that wasnt just generic garbage made me tear up a bit, not immediately just when i got home, and it didnt help when she hugged me and said if you ever leave pls take me with you, so yeah maybe im not apathetic i just hate my mother

There's also my cat, im kind of getting… idk sick of him too angry, it just feels like he doesnt like me sometimes, which is absurd he comes to greet me and only me when i arrive and hes actually been sleeping a bit with me tonight and yesterday, but the biting when i pet him is really annoying.. what am i saying its just cat stuff its normal. I am feeling kinda weird when i pet him and think damn i wish i was the one being petted (not by him ofc), you know just lying on girls lap and being petted, r/cuddle_slut really made me realize how fucking touch starved i am.

Or maybe i should just move on from her.. maybe she doesnt want that kind of relationship, i really dont want to start talking to someone else while im talking with her tough, feels real scummy, i kind of did that with someone on skype, i had a couple of sessions with her but she kind of stopped texting me as i was talking to D which was lucky, but in those sessions i had full video on and she didnt even use her voice so i guess its kind of fair, she was also the one that took the initiative texting so who knows maybe shes doing what im planning on doing, letting her text first which didnt really work out for her cause i didnt and now our last message is from the 28th. typing this really discouraged me from the let her text first and see what happens strategy, i guess ill settle for trying on the weekend tough this saturday i have the ribbon party so hopefully i have time and energy to call her

Maybe ill just try some keyholding, just to do something sexual that isnt just showing my junk and locking it or putting my finger in my ass for the skype girl, but the problem with keyholding is that it might take some time.. what if while im locked D wants to do something and i reveal i've been """unfaithfull""" i think im gonna wait a bit more for her i really want things to work out with her she just seems like a really cool person but im worried im too much of a loser for her, the very busy woman who managed commitees has a million hobbies and her boyfriend who's a stay at home gamer

I guess that's it for first entry, hopefully when I'm rereading this im in a better state, or maybe im showing this to my therapist or hey maybe even D or whatever her name is, overall not bad for a first diary entry i think, i got to rant a bit even if it was just on a keyboard, i think im gonna start writing here a bit, some non sad stuff as well hopefully

maybe ill dump this on some ai text and see what happens (garbage pretty much)

See you on entry 2 i guess.

PS wow its 5:15 was not expecting to spend an hour writing this

[trans-zhongli]

Its actually interesting that you pride yourself on being progressive and enlightened when shit that doesnt fit in your tiny white western framework is immediately dismissed and shamed. Its honestly kinda racist that you immediately dismiss original text and cultural context for english translations. Censor your posts if you talk shit or shut the fuck up

dude straight up called me racist for not liking their ship.

im allowed to dislike a ship involving adoptive brothers who are, yes, ADOPTIVE. that is canon. they can be adoptive brothers and also sworn brothers. i never denied that was a thing, i don't doubt that's what it says in chinese nor am i dismissing it as a concept.

i literally don't care if you ship it so stop getting all worked up about it, damn. it's literally disgusting to accuse someone of being racist simply because they don't like your ship. all i said was that i think it's a misunderstanding of kaeya and diluc's characters to ship them together, which is literally just my opinion. i don't give a shit what you want to ship. i did not tag my post

the main point here is really that it's pathetic to call someone racist over genshin impact shipping. god damn. but if you want to get into that, fine, then you should acknowledge that sworn brothers is not exclusively a romantic thing, and you can't assume something romantic is being implied here just based on that. i don't care if you want to ship it, i definitely ship things that i never expect to be canon, but as you said its "honestly kind of racist to dismiss cultural context".

literally leave me alone. i did not tag it as kaeluc SPECIFICALLY because i didnt want this kind of shit, but i guess i should have been more careful because kaeluc stans are apparently assholes. all i said was that i don't think it fits their characterization to ship them together. and if i said it in kind of a mean way, sorry about that, but also not sorry because i'm not going to censor my own opinions on fucking genshin impact characters on my own blog.

also i never ever said i prided myself on being progressive and enlightened... literally what about me implied that... kinda funny how you jump straight to that conclusion as if anyone in this stupid argument has ever told me more than just "google it you dumbfuck" if they think that i'm wrong or uneducated about it. as you said, i fully acknowledge that i have a white western worldview, because i am white and come from a western country (it's a shock i know, that someone's worldview might be based on what they know, insane). i am fully willing to learn things im ignorant on. but i have no reason to believe that i am in the wrong here especially because i UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT OF SWORN BROTHERS AND THAT IS NEVER WHAT I WAS CONTESTING IN THE FIRST PLACE. IF THEY SAID THAT IN THE ORIGINAL TEXT THEN FINE. I STILL AM ENTITLED TO MY OPINION ABOUT THE SHIP. i think it is FULLY REASONABLE to feel uncomfortable about two adoptive brothers being in a romantic relationship. but i've written and read things that would make other people uncomfortable, so i literally do. not. fucking. care.

not that i'm expecting you to read anything beyond what you want to get mad about, considering the conclusions you came to about me and the fact that you seem to have gone through my blog for some reason yet ignored everything else i said on this subject.

all i said was that i don't like it. literally touch some grass and leave me alone.

[thetinyraccoon]

well, it would appear that Margaret Atwood has outed herself as a transphobe.

Earlier today, she shared on twitter a column from the Toronto Star called “Why can’t we say ‘woman’ anymore?”. The article is however behind a paywall, and since I refuse to pay for that shit, I found it on the Wayback Machine. 

Here’s the link, and under the cut will be the article copy-pasted in case the link doesnt work. 

https://web.archive.org/web/20211019131846/https://www.thestar.com/opinion/star-columnists/2021/10/15/why-cant-we-say-woman-anymore.html

I have to say, I am both disappointed and confused, especially considering how adamant Atwood has been about respecting trans and nb people’s identities in the past.

“You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Person with a Vagina.”

“Man! I Feel Like a Person who Menstruates”

“Oh, Pretty Person with a Cervix”

Apologies to Aretha Franklin, Shania Twain and Roy Orbison, but this appears to be where we’re heading if language radicals get their way.

And they’re getting it, tying everybody up in linguistic knots so as not to offend or get clobbered by the social media mob.

The inclusive objective is worthy.

The erasure of women is not.

“Woman” is in danger of becoming a dirty word … struck from the lexicon of officialdom, eradicated from medical vocabulary and expunged from conversation.

Which is a bitchy thing to do to half the world’s population.

It shouldn’t leave well-meaning people tongue-tied, lest they be attacked as transphobic or otherwise insensitive to the increasingly complex constructs of gender.

“The Lancet,” the prestigious and highly influential British medical journal, put “Bodies with Vaginas” on the cover of its latest issue, referring to an article inside, entitled “Periods on Display,” a review of an exhibit about the history of menstruation at the Vagina Museum in London.

Maybe the editors, who tweeted the piece, were just looking for clickbait, with a pullquote on the cover teasing that “Historically, the anatomy and physiology of such bodies have been neglected” — this although the author had used the phrase “bodies with vaginas,” only once and “women” four times.

A hell-storm broke out, quite rightly, with readers indignant over the wording. As one, an author of books on childbirth and women’s bodies, wrote: “You’re telling us that you’ve noticed that, for hundreds of years, you’ve neglected and overlooked women, and, then, in the same breath, you are unable to name those people you’ve been ignoring.”

The magazine’s editor-in-chief apologized hastily.

This isn’t an argument against gender self-identification. Surely we’re well past that. It’s more about an infelicitous evolution of language, which is fundamentally about communicating clearly. Even if making the argument ends up aligning uncomfortably with reactionaries and regressives with whom I have no truck.

In one fell swoop, “The Lancet” — remember, this is a medical publication! — reduced womanhood, biological or metaphysical, to purely anatomical parts, a gross reversal of the century-long campaign to, not only achieve equal rights, but for women to be seen as more than their biological and rampantly objectified, sexualized packaging. This is fundamental to feminism and humanism. Further, we are seeing, in, for example, legislation passed or coming down the pike in U.S. to severely restrict abortions, basically undoing Roe vs. Wade, how fragile these gains can be.

“That Lancet” episode was not an over-woke outlier.

The American Civil Liberties Union took detestable liberties by deliberately mauling the words of beloved and brilliant Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in marking the one-year anniversary of her death. Reaching back to comments Ginsburg made during her confirmation hearings in 1980, wherein she spoke about the right of women to obtain an abortion, the ACLU unilaterally removed “woman,” replacing it with “person.”

It came out thusly: “The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a (person’s) life, to (their) wellbeing and dignity …. When the government controls that decision for (people), (they are) being treated as less than a fully adult human and responsible for (their) own choices.”

Anthony Romero, executive director of the ACLU, also subsequently issued a grovelling mea culpa, promising he’d never again drastically alter quotes in the future.

But is that really a lesson that needed to be pounded into his head?

And still Romero tried to justify his interference by claiming that Ginsburg would have supported more inclusive language.

Maybe so. I would really like to know what she might have thought. But we don’t and can’t and it’s outrageous for anyone to mishmash the justice’s voice.

Women have abortions. Or, I suppose, in the tiniest of numbers, people born with female genitals who identify as male or fluid can terminate a pregnancy.

Women have babies. Or, in the tiniest of numbers, people born with female genitals who identify as male or fluid, can get pregnant.

Yet in 2016, the British Medical Association recommended staff use “pregnant people,” instead of pregnant women. A British hospital now instructs staff on its maternity ward to use “birthing people,” instead of pregnant women. The Biden administration’s proposed 2022 budget substituted “birth people” for mothers. Rep. Cori Bush has used that term, while her Congressional Squad teammate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has talked of “menstruating people.”

These are women I admire but they’ve jumped the shark.

All of this recalls the point bestselling author J.K. Rowling was trying to make, wryly, in a tweet that got her bludgeoned by the mob: “People who menstruate. I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”

Rowling was branded a TERF — activists do like their neologisms — meaning trans exclusionary radical feminist. As if she was hostile to the trans movement, which she assuredly is not. Some bookstores removed her work from their shelves. Were she not a gazillion-selling author, Rowling could have lost her publisher.

In Britain, where roughly 680,000 people do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, according to government figures, midwives at Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals were told to start using terms such as “chest milk,” instead of breast milk. This, apparently, because some transgender men who give birth and nurse their babies were distressed at being reminded of what they were doing with those lactating female appendages. Although surely “breast” is a gender-neutral term, as both sexes have them and both can develop breast cancer.

This is all directly a phenomenon resulting from trans activism run amok.

I get the passion for recasting language, to improve gender and LGBT equity, to minimize the “cognitive mental salience” of males.

The movement has been spectacularly successful in the progressive West, although English isn’t as heavily gendered as, say, Italian or French. Truly, props for an undertaking that has given voice and power to a demographic historically oppressed, horribly shaped and disproportionately subjected to violence!

Merriam-Webster was the first dictionary to add gender-neutral pronouns “they” and “themself” to refer to a person whose “gender identity is non-binary.”

But these examples go far beyond insistence on neutral pronouns, into an outer orbit of linguistics where both women, as a gender, and “woman” as a noun are being blotted out.

There’s more than a whiff of misogyny to it. Why “woman” the no-speak word and not “man?” Why not “persons who urinate standing up” or “people who eject semen?”

Certainly there are words — they are slurs mostly — that are no longer acceptable. “Woman” shouldn’t be one of them.

The battleground of language has turned into a baffleground of agendas.

I am woman and I am roaring.

[mourninglamby]

ok ok before i say anything im not sure how to make this clear ovr text but! this isnt meant to come off as judgmental or mean spirited!! but if dsmp bothers you so much why still consume it?? if you're not enjoying it anymore? i feel like none of these posts have been positive at all as of late and im just curious as to why. im sorry its not the way it used to be man :(

no worries anon ive been putting off giving a serious answer for this question. and well. one is a very personal reason that i feel like i shouldnt go into lmfao. lets just say its a reason to get up in the morning.

HOWEVER.. i also still have a tiny glimmer of hope that some of the main story arcs will be finished. aside from this and just general lighthearted analysis, its hard to be positive when nothing new is happening, or when the "new" thing happening is not well written. so all i can do to prevent this is go back and reflect on past arcs, which i am extremely positive about, and still believe exemplify some of the best writing in the series which makes it worth watching. its equally rly fun to go back and pick out what i think could be improved upon or doesnt make sense bc it helps me understand the media better, as well as what I should expect going forward both in presentation and thematically. but doing this over and over again is getting old.

dsmp had always (up until recently) subverted my expectations and ive been genuinely excited by a lot of the shit that happens in it, but when a WHOLE LOT of nothing is happening and there is a clear dip in quality, its really hard to not be a little mean about bad writing.

im trying rly hard not to shit on it as much but i will say, paired with the horrible reactions to valid criticism ive seen on twitter, the fandom hasnt helped my cynicism and general sour attitude. so i guess i just adopted an aggressive way of speaking abt my issues with the story and my criticisms on here because im tired of being called "entitled" or being told "its just a minecraft roleplay" as if the medium in which a story is produced dictates how serious the themes depicted in it should be taken. which is just. idk. fallacious. so im sorry abt that, ill def tone down the negativity.

tldr; im just sad and bored because this story means a lot to me and seeing it dip in quality while also not being allowed to speak about the dip in quality without threat of harassment by overly parasocial fans has made me into a bitter hag lmfao.

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[thesmokingguns]

24 Hours

Word Count:3454

Request/ Summary: “Can i request one where nicki gets turned down by their makeup artist or like stand in manager and hes upset and he finds out the the manager just doesnt sleep with people she just met”

I tried to write this where she breaks rules for him and turns him down. He understands what her restrictions are but he can see that living by her strict rules she created for herself she is making herself unhappy.

I hope I hit the prompt you wanted!

A/N: This turned out longer than I expected it to be so sorry about that one. I do have three requests I’m writing right now on top of some of the stuff I am writing so you can all still make requests but I'm going to be saying it’s a two week wait for a new request right now. I also want to say I am going to write a third and fourth part to the 3am Duff series because I have no self control. Thank you for everyone being patient with me and all your kind words! If you want to be added to my tallest please message me or go HERE

Tag List: @thenobodies-inc​ , @littlemisscare-all​ , @agroupiewhore , @ayablackwood​

You were having a bad day. Not just a bad day but one of those days where everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. From morning to night it was the literal day from hell for you.

8:12am You woke up, an hour after you had hit snooze on your alarm, twelve minutes after you were supposed to leave your house to get to work.

8:34am After throwing yourself together and rushing out the door, you were running out of the apartment with the cup of coffee you had economically and time consciously thought to make. On the last step before you had escaped into the day you slipped, the hot coffee spilled all down the front of your red dress, because of course it was the one day you weren’t wearing black. Rushing back up the stairs you realized that the keys to get into your apartment were in your apartment, hanging on the hook just out of reach behind the door. So you would be going to work in your coffee dress.

9:01AM You made it to work, only thirty-one minutes late. Your boss wasn’t happy that you were late on a Friday, thinking you had done this on purpose as some slight to them. Which meant they had pulled you in the office and chewed you a new asshole.

They also told you about coming to work in a clean, tidy appearance as if you had wanted to be wearing your coffee.

As you were being yelled at you watched the line back up and couldn’t help but think about how yelling at you was just making the situation worse. You also were also thinking about how next time you’d just call in sick instead of being late.

11:59AM One minute before you were scheduled to take a break, one fucking minute, and the crazy man came in. Throwing his shit smelling money at you and proceeding to vomit all over your window.

Your window, your mess. So instead of having a much needed timeout from the day from hell you were trying to scrub the smell of puke off a counter.

1:47 PM You finally stepped out for lunch. Moving to the payphone to call your roommate. She thankfully answered on the second ring of the apartment phone. At least the door would be unlocked after work, which was one thing you had been worried about.

She was quick to tell you about how she had gotten you a gig for the night. Knowing how you wanted to travel, you two had come up with a plan a few months ago to find work in Hollywood for bands or on film sets. She had been pretty popular making costumes and helping to come up with whole concepts for the upcoming Glam Rock scene. One of her usual bands needed help because their makeup artist had been sick, so you were going to work for her tonight.

This would be considered a good thing but since it was a trial run you were not going to be getting paid for this gig. So your time would be free. The makeup you used on them you needed to provide. And you have to be there at 5PM to set up, which is the exact time that you need to get out of work. Your roommate agreed to help set you up and she was going to bring you a change of clothes to the gig. It would be fine because the band wouldn’t need to be made up until 6 or 7 but it was just another thing on your plate.

So you would be losing money that you needed to pay rent on a bunch of entitled rock stars who would probably not hire you and this whole night would just leave you feeling exhausted and annoyed. Really looking forward to it.

3:49PM Your coworker went home sick with a headache so now you had to do twice the amount of work and there was no hope in hell that you would be making it to the gig in time tonight. That great first impression that you would need to get an actual long job was gone. And you were stuck with a line out the door of people trying to cash their checks all seeming to want to kill you. Happy Friday.

5:02PM You were running down the street, thankful you worked around the corner from the venue. A sigh of relief left your lips seeing your roommate waiting for you. She dragged you inside pushing you towards a bathroom and giving you a bag of clothes to change into. You lined your brown eyes with the kohl liner, winging your eyeliner and adding a deep burgundy lip shade that complimented your darker skin.

“Y/N, hurry up.” you rolled your eyes, repacking the bag and heading out where your friend was waiting for you. “I put your makeup in the dressing room already. It’s not set up yet.” she pulled you down a few hallways. Equipment for the band was more around as they started getting ready to set up everything for the show.

You entered the dressing room, seeing there was a table for food and drinks set up,  a rack of costumes for the band to wear, and finally a vanity where your makeup bag was sitting ready to be unpacked. Your friend handed you a cup, pouring a few fingers worth of vodka into it before splashing in some juice to help the taste.

“Cheers,” you tapped red solo cups drinking heavily. If you weren’t going to get paid for the gig you might as well take advantage of whatever free perks came with it.

6:23PM Sitting on the couch, legs crossed, you were chatting aimlessly with your friend when the door opened and a man walked in looking at you confused.

“Hey, I’m Y/N. I’m the makeup artist for the night.” you were quick to introduce yourself not wanting him to think you were another girl who was just trying to sleep with the band.

“Mick.” he moved to pour himself a full cup of straight vodka, “Can you do my makeup now? The three pretty boys take too much time.” Ushering him into the seat you started out on him, wondering what the hell he meant about the other guys being divas.

7:45PM A blonde burst into the room, seeming surprised that you were standing there. The girl on his arm laughed too loudly and you looked over to your roommate who was handing Mick a belt to wear. She just shrugged, this was normal for her.

“Vince, new makeup artist. You should sit now before the Terror Twins stumble in.” Mick warned him. He pulled away from the girl on his arm headed over to your chair with an easy smile.

“You're going to make me prettier, doll?”

“I’m thinking that you would look with some blue eyeshadow. It would really complete your Malibu Barbie look.” You retorted, watching amused as his mouth dropped open, not used to having someone give it back to him.

You hated cocky assholes who thought that they were God’s gift. There was nothing wrong with a  man who was confident but the way that he was looking at himself in the mirror as you did his makeup you knew he was the type that thought he was above everyone else.

8:21PM  Two men burst into the room as you finished up Vince. Looking at the two taller men you let your eyes wander over them. Vince was a diva but there two were going to be where you had the most trouble. They must be tber terror twins Mick had mentioned.

One of the guys fell into the chair, laughing about something as he sipped the beer he was drinking, rubbing his nose. He lit up a cigarette as he sat back in the chair not seeming to care if it was annoying that he was blowing smoke in your face as you tried to work.

You bit your tongue, annoyed as you tried to work around his cigarette, that he almost burnt you with seven different times. As you worked you could feel a set of eyes on you. Looking up you saw the man he had walked in with, staring at you with these intense olive eyes.

There wasn’t a chance in hell that you would be interested in any of these loudmouth guys, who all seemed to be drunk and hyperactive. It was kind of like you were doing makeup for a bunch of chimps instead of men.

8:55PM Finally the last man was sitting in your chair. His eyes gazing up at you with such intensity you stopped moving around to just look at him.

“Have we met before?” there was something familiar about him and you wondered if you had met him at a bar or at a show before.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m Nikki.” Usually when a guy used a nickname instead of your given name you chalked it up to them being a douchebag but with him it seemed natural and not derogatory, “Thank you for coming out to do our makeup today. I heard the other artist got sick at the last minute. We appreciate you taking your time to help us out…” he left it blank waiting for you to give him your name.

“Y/N.” You were surprised by how talkative he was. The kindness in his tone is different from the way the other guys have been. Just when you thought he was different you felt a hand on the back of your thigh, “If you don’t get your hand off me I’ll break your fingers so you can’t play tonight.” you warned him, looking into the olive eyes gazing up at you.

He was too good looking. The type of guy you could get into trouble with if you allowed yourself but you wouldn’t be taking home a stranger tonight.

“Do you always talk to your clients like that?” he asked with a coy smile on his face. This was the type of smug you liked. The funny easy going type who could make you laugh if you had not been on your feet for twelve hours.

“Only the ones that don’t pay me.” you replied, swiping his eyeshadow on. You wanted this to be over so you could go home and sleep.

The drummer came over, bumping into the vanity and knocking the eyeshadow off and not seeming to notice as the makeup smashed into a thousand pieces on the ground. You were officially losing a lot of money on this job and didn’t have the funds to replace it.

“Jesus, T-Bone, watch where you’re going.” Nikki commented, watching you start to pack everything up, “Aren’t you sticking around to watch the show?”  You shook your head. “Why don’t you stick around and I’ll take you out after for a late dinner. As an apology for this being a bust for you.” You were sure that the way he smiled and how his eyes were so clear made it easy for him to pick up chicks but you weren’t going to be one of them.

“I had a long day. I’m not going out with you.” You zipped up your bag ready to leave

“Listen, Y/N, just stay until we go on. Maybe I can talk to someone and you can get paid for coming out.” You did need the money. So reluctantly you stayed.

9:57PM You shouldn’t have stayed. Nikki had seemed to think you telling him you were not going out with him was a maybe you’d go out with him.

It had been an hour of him sitting on the couch getting to know you, asking questions and being nice to you. Men weren’t nice to you just for the sake of being nice, they were born without the concept of human decency.

But he had also talked to their manager, pointing at you and saying stuff you didn’t get to hear. Now you were stuck in a weird limbo wondering if you were going to get paid.

11:15pm The band rushed on stage and you were pulled aside by the manager. He handed you and envelope that you knew contained cash.

“The boys are going to have a few California gigs. If you can stick it out for a couple weeks I’ll consider hiring you for the tour. I’ll pay you $100 bucks a gig and you need to bring your own supplies to start but if you go on tour you’ll get a contract.” He said. You agreed and he handed you a piece of paper with four dates, the upcoming week, times, and his phone number to call if you couldn’t make it. There was also a chicken scratch handwriting with the name Nikki and a phone number

You were stunned when he walked away. You not only got paid but you have jobs lined up to make even more. It was a dream.

Looking up, you moved towards the stage watching the bassist move around the stage. He was high energy, loving what he was doing. There was this presence about him that drew you in. If you did get the tour position that would be trouble.

11:59PM You had finished packing up and we’re heading out of the venue to head home. You were ready for your bed and a few hours of sleep. The guys were playing tomorrow and you wanted to not be having a bad day.

Trying to sneak out, you almost jumped back when four sweaty men came barreling into the room. Your heart instantly went to your throat seeing Nikki. His smile dancing across his lips, hey black hair stuck to his forehead just oozing self confidence and sex appeal.

“You’re leaving so soon?” You just nodded at his question, wondering if it would be considered rude to tuck his hair out of his face. “Did you call a taxi or need a ride? There’s a lot of unsafe riff raff out this late.” He warned and you almost thought he sounded concerned.

“I’m a grown woman. I can walk myself home. It’s only like 15 minutes from here.” His eyebrow raised as he wiped the sweat off his face with a towel.

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“No you won’t.” You shoe back, “I don’t know you and I don’t leave with strangers I’ve only known for one day.” You responded. It was practical to have rules to keep you from getting hurt.

“Well, Y/N, we’ve known each other for two days now since it’s past midnight.” He was so calm saying this to you, “And I’m trying to cut back on drinking so if they see me leave with you I won’t be harassed so you’ll really be doing me the favor.” Thinking about what he said, your tongue licked your top lip nervously. The way his eyes followed this motion gave you your answer.

“Thank you for the offer. I’m going to say goodbye to my roommate. I’ll see you in 20 minutes outside?” You gave him a smile and  saw the way he was melting under your touch as you moved away from him.

You moved over to your friend letting her know you were leaving and you’d see her at home.

12:22 AM Adjusting the bag over your shoulder you weaved through the crowds pouring in and out of all the clubs. No one ever really bothered you walking home. It was just the cat calling and guys thinking that they had a right to run their mouths

“Y/N.” You frowned hearing your name. The roar of a motorcycle speeding up had your eyes looking out on the street.

Oh Shit. There was Nikki, looking at you with a line where his smile had been, his kind eyes looking annoyed at you. You had left him after saying you’d let him take you home but he was too pushy.

“Get on.” the steely tone of his voice made you stop what you were doing, thinking of what to do next. People were looking at the pair of you, some probably recognizing Nikki from his band. You rolled your eyes, stepping forward.

“Listen to me, I’m not getting on. I don’t know you.” His look softened and it was like for the first time he understood what the issue was.

“I just want to make sure that you make it home safe. I know you don’t want anything happening to you. It would feel like my responsibility if you went missing after doing the band's makeup.” you rolled your eyes. Eyeing him and the bike. It had been a long day and it was onlya  five minute drive. What was the worst that could happen?

1:02AM The worst thing that could happen was happening.

When you got on the back of Nikki’s Harley he had asked where you lived. As he drove, you wrapped around his back you realized for the first time of the night you were smiling a genuine wife smile.

Watching the lights of the Strip and the hustle and bustle fly by when wrapped around his warm body, the noie drowned out by the roar of the bike was nice. It felt good. So when you pulled up on your street and he asked if you wanted to drive around more you didn't say no like you should have.

Weaving around the empty highways with just the pair of you was nice. There was no conversations but it felt like you two were getting to know each other on another level.

3:55AM Nikki pulled the bike into a donut shop on the side of the highway. The smell of fresh baked pastries and coffee brewing awakening you much like the wind whipping your face had been keeping you awake but it had been almost twenty four hours awake.

The pair of your ordered black coffee and a donut, sitting on stools at the counter and eating in a comfortable silence.

“Are you mad at me?” He didn’t have a cheeky grin on his face like you had expected but he was serious. “I know you said you wouldn’t go out with me but it just seemed like you were having a bad day and I have a hero complex.” you snorted when he said this. Surprised he admitted that he had a heroes complex.

“I’m not mad. I got on the back of your bike and stayed out.” you thought for a second, “I think I needed it. I always follow my rules and never break them. I think sometimes I need a break from the rules I create.” you said all this with your heart beating wondering what the hell you were doing with this guy in the middle of nowhere.

5:41AM Nikki had wrapped his leather jacket around you, both your boots abandoned by the motorcycle as you sat with toes in the sand watching the sun rise over the Pacific. You hadn't even seen the sun rising over the ocean before so you were wrapped up in the orange and golds of the sky, how the inky black of the water came alive into blue and purple hues with the light.

It was beautiful.

It felt like something was washing over you as you watchined it. Something was changing as you watched the sun start a new day. A new day that you had this feeling in your bones was going to be a good day.

Wiping a tear away, you took a deep breath remembering that you had moved here to make your dreams come true and for the first time it felt like it was going to happen.

A hand on your back reminded you that you weren’t alone. His olive eyes looking at you, concerned. You wiped a tear away trying to laugh it off.

“I never saw the sunrise over the ocean. It’s beautiful,” It was at that moment, wrapped up in the beauty of everything that you realized that he was going to kiss you. The way his hand was against your check, wiping the tears away.

But you surprised both of you leaning forward to push your lips against his. Making the first move. You were breaking all of your rules for him but it felt good and you could tell you would be breaking more rules with him

6:00AM It was going to be a good day.