#and it ain’t zestial

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

Whenever there’s an Alastor vs Zestial argument, which are strangely common in YouTube comment sections, people usually cite the scene in “Scrambled Eggs” where we see Zestial for the first time. “Everyone was running from Zestial,” they say. And when some poor fool retorts with “Maybe they were running from both of them,” the most common response is “Those sinners weren’t running when just Alastor was there.”

Now, you know me. Being the contrary little bitch that I am, I watched and rewatched the scene myself. And guess what?

There are literally no sinners on this entire street before Zestial shows up, except Alastor. We only see sinners after they start talking.

Only one sinner reacted to Zestial alone. Every other reaction was to both of them.

Zestial, alone, scared one guy. He definitely added to the fear factor, but still.

Alastor cleared the entire street. And the intersection behind him.

You do the math.

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Am I probably going to have to scrap this line for being a little too OOC? Yeah. Is it funny af?

Yeah

[helluvapoison]

Hey can you write headcanons for alastor, angel dust(both platonic) and sir pentious (romantic) with a gen z/millennial reader? Just general stuff and interactions (like maybe talking about how things are for the lgbt community with angel and talking to alastor about gramophones and how they're coming back in style) and just some shenanigans

I know you don't have these characters listed in your writing list, and it's completely fine if you cant write for them but i love your writing style and characterization so I wanted to know how you'd imagine things would go

Alastor, Angel Dust (platonic) and Sir Pentious (romantic) x Reader

˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• “Hey Al! Loving the drip, it’s giving strawberry cow meets dark academia core.”

• Now he knows what others feel like when speaking to Zestial. He doesn’t understand half of what you say

• You taught him “tea”. Originally he thought you were providing real tea, something useful, not tedious gossip about— Oh. Oh. That could come in handy, actually. Alastor begins to pencil you into his afternoon tea. Sometimes you bring him useful information, others he has to sit through petty issues that make his eye twitch

• Alastor outright bans you from using your phone around him. He has no interest in this “meme” that reminds you of him (Don’t bring it out again, next time he’ll break it)

You groan, “It’s not as funny if I have to explain it!”

“It must not be very humorous in the first place.” He retorts

• He thinks you’re complimenting his taste in decor when you call it vintage

• You’ve proven yourself a useful acquaintance. Like Nifty, he’s grown accustomed to your presence and learned it may be better not to understand the inner workings of your mind

• “Got any aces?” someone asks while you play Go Fish with Husk, Angel and Sir Pina Colada. You never fail to jab a thumb in Alastor’s direction, cackling and kicking your feet

• They give you a peculiar look in reply

“Fuck you guys, I ate.”

• Yeah, they don’t get that one either

˚✧₊⁎ Angel Dust ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• It feels like every day Angel’s mid-insult and snapping his fingers at you, beckoning for you to conjure up a fresh comeback

• “Ooh! You just got cancelled, take the L, you fucking poser!”

He cackles, “Yeah! What they said!”

• Started calling himself an e-girl because you said it once about Charlie and never elaborated. He thinks it means cute… He’s not wrong? You don’t correct him, it’s funnier this way

• Playful arguments 24/7

“RIP, Angel, you would have loved Mean Girls— Wait, if a movie dies would it come to Hell? Never mind, don’t answer that, it would obviously go to Heaven.”

“I’ve met some real weirdos down here, sweetheart, and you outrank almost all of ‘em.”

• Something Angel noticed he could only appreciate from you is how different you react to his relationship with Val. He already knows it’s not healthy and he knows he gets defensive when people bring it up. Like the others, you listen, you comfort, you get furious on his behalf. You also offer him insight and labels he never thought would be helpful

• You hold up two fingers like you’re conducting an orchestra as you speak, “Say it with me; boundaries, bitch.”

“Boundaries..? S’at like bondage–?”

”NO!”

• Angel’s the only one that makes HellToks with you. The dances he learns faster and performs them better than you, often adding his own choreography to them. The “pass the phone” challenges never end well– especially when he tries to rope Nifty or Alastor in on them (RIP your old phone)

• Honestly, you’re pretty surprised you get along with Angel as well as you do. Y’know, considering he died a thousand years before you—

“I ain’t that old!”

“Your death certificate says otherwise, fam!”

˚✧₊⁎ Sir Pentious ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• He’s not sure how to handle how touchy you are first. You go around high-fiving everyone, freely holding hands with whoever lets you, offering hugs and– thump. Your head hits his lap, staring straight right at him with a goofy grin. And that.

• “Say slay,”

“Sssslay?”

• Oh. He quite likes the laugh that gets out of you

• Starts saying the word as much as possible, puffing his chest out proudly when you double over laughing. You don’t have the heart to tell him he’s using it wrong 99.9% of the time

• When you began consistently picking him for a chair instead of the others, he was stuck between throwing you across the room and making a break for it or pointing and laughing in the faces of everyone else. You chose him! HA!

• Bless his soul, the way he asked you out was so sweet

“I’ve done extensive research and found the equivalent of going sssteady in your language! I would like for us to move forward with the relationship ssstatus.”

“Huh? Oh. You want to go out with me? Yeah!”

“Fuck yesss!“

• Pentious gives ride or die a new definition. Everything you say or you do, he will back you up. His eyes sparkle from the praise you give him

• That, and making him blush takes little effort on your part. Complimenting him like you always do (at least he thinks you are, sometimes he’s not certain) has his cheeks glowing in seconds

• After following you around for an hour, because Pentious wanted to make sure you could get along with the Egg Boiz without him, they adopt bits of your personality and bizarre phrases. “Now we have two parents!” “No cap!” “Yes cap, you’re wearing a hat!”

• You’ve single handedly make the Egg Boiz worse in the eyes of everyone but Pen. He’s ecstatic over the results, he doesn’t know what he would do if he had to choose between you and his eggs

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ this was so silly and fun, i hope you enjoy anon!

[gothamcitycentral]

I find the parallels between Vaggie/Charlie and Carmilla/Zestial to be really neat.

Vaggie and Carmilla both leapt to the defense of Charlie and Zestial. Both bite their tongue at danger and disrespect directed towards themselves, but when who they care about is the one being threatened, they react with no hesitation or composure to defend them.

In conjunction, Charlie and Zestial are both more powerful than Vaggie and Carmilla (even if this is more strongly implied in Zestial’s case). Yet they seem so much more hesitant to act on this power. Charlie explicitly hates using her royal status or fighting people, while Zestial just endures Velvette’s insults and questioning, only making small verbal defenses of his position. Not to mention how they’re both much older than Vaggie and Carmilla. Charlie is a slow aging immortal and Zestial is the oldest living Overlord and is on the regular described as ancient.

Charlie and Zestial both see themselves as someone Vaggie and Carmilla should confide in. Charlie isn’t upset that Vaggie was Exorcist, rather that she never told her. While Zestial “implores [Carmilla] to share the load.” He’s worried about this weight she’s carrying by herself, and wants to support her. I imagine Charlie felt similarly, Vaggie has been carrying her secret in silence for years, and with Charlie dedicating her life to helping others, it must her to know someone she’s so close to has been hurting this long.

“Ain’t you supposed to protect this place?”

“I’ll keep you safe, and keep this secret.”

There’s also how their ‘protector role’ seems completely self assigned. I highly doubt Charlie ever wanted Vaggie to be her personal guard, and Zestial reacts in surprise at being included with who Carmilla is ‘keeping safe.’ If you take Zestial’s reaction (or lack their of) to Velevette, you could make the point they do this because Charlie and him are unlikely to defend themselves (or at the very least hesitate to do so). Which I think speaks to the intrinsic sense of duty Vaggie and Carmilla have.

[cheesyv]

Rating Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Ships

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I was originally going to post 2 different things (one for HH & another for HB) but I decided I would bring them together cause there are some ships involving characters from both. So This is gonna be a long behind post :]

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This should be obvious but for those who might get confused about the colors:

Green - For the higher rated ships. I love or think that ship could work

Orange- For both high and low rated ships. I’m on the fence for that ship. So I could have easily given it a lower or higher rating

Red - For lower rated ships. I hate or think that ship couldn’t work

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——————

HH

Alastor/Lucifer 10/10 I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers tropes 😭 like I know it’s most likely not going to be canon (and let’s bfr a lot of our ships won’t be) but that’s part of the fun. I find the fics and art hilarious and absolutely adorable. I think the cutest thing is them being in a QPR 🤭

Husk/Angel 10/10 They are cute. Husk and Angel talking, bonding and all that fun crap lol

Alastor/Rosie 10/10 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the idea of them being in a QPR.

Charlie/Vaggie 9/10 They are so cute and supportive, and fit well together

Vox/Lucifer/Alastor 8/10 Lucifer and Vox become Alastor’s simps, and pull him into all their crazy ‘adventures’ 💀 They start dating but Alastor doesn’t fully comprehend it. I find it kinda funny to imagine Lucifer & Vox thinking they’re all dating but that doesn’t even pop up in Al’s head. (Let’s be for real, Alastor is just barely holding himself together and “tolerating” them and maybe eventually growing fond of them)

Lucifer/Vox 7/10 I like the idea of them partnering together (in fake dating or partnership in hating and fighting Al) to spite Alastor.

Alastor/Vox 6/10 I’m not the biggest fan of this ship. I enjoy the art I see and find some of the comics funny/cute but truly my heart will always belong to radioapple 😔

Vox/Val 10/10 They are most likely already sleeping together and act like a old married couple in the show, just work on Vox’s obsession with Alastor (and Val’s character but you know that probably ain’t happening) and BOOM could be good (tho I think Val finds amusement in Vox’s obsession so idk).

Val/Vox/Velvette 3/10 Don’t really see them all actually dating or being more than business partners/family.

Adam/Lucifer 4/10 Yeah that would totally work 💀 cause Lucifer totally didn’t fuck both of his wifes and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried it on Adam too. Plus I feel like there would be alot of beef between them. (Adam did attack the hotel and Charlie, they might have some more history then just wife stealing cause you know heaven/earth stuff) But i must admit I like the fan art of them.

Alastor/Angel 4/10 I just don’t like the idea of them together very much. 🤷‍♀️ no specific reason honestly, I never liked the ship even during the plot

Val/Angel 1/10 You understand. Val is shit and treats Angel like he’s shit.

Lucifer/Lilith 7/10 Im suspicious of Lilith. 🤨 I really hope she actually cares about her family 😔 I like seeing them in the garden of Eden and raising Charlie like a happy family but idk, something is off about her. I also love the angst 🤭

Rosie/Lilith 6/10 Is kinda cute but I don’t know enough about both characters (especially Lilith). 🧐 If they are even actually who they say they are (theory post) 🧐

Adam/Lute 8/10 I like this ship, they obviously have history and some sort of chemistry. The relationship might be alittle unhealthy tho. I also like to think of them in a father/daughter or mentor/mentee type relationship.

Cherri/SirPentious 7/10 Sir Pentious likes it and deserves love. I’m a little fiffy on this one cause of Cherri. But she can definitely gain genuine feelings (too bad he’s not within her reach anymore 😏) so I’ll give her some slack lol

Zestial/Carmilla 8/10 I ship it. They obviously have some sort of history and are friends.

Charlie/Emily 1/10 They’re so alike that I see them more as sisters than anything.

Charlie/Alastor ?/10 I don’t know anymore 😭 I used to not like it but now this ship is slowly growing on me. Especially after reading this. <- That post just makes sense and honestly I wouldn’t be mad if it was canon. It’s making me question “everything” lol

Husk/Lucifer 8/10 I like it as a platonic ship. I think they be good friends and can easily talk to each other. I really like @drazhaq’s comics of Lucifer cuddling Husk and him not being overwhelmed talking to husk.

Husk/Alastor 3/10 Not a big fan, I prefer Huskerdust

Cherri/Angel 2/10 They are best friends and I don’t think Cherri would be a good partner for Angel. Plus he’s gay.

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HB

Striker/Chaz 6/10 Honestly? They both got some sex drive in them lol. Wouldn’t be to bad if Chaz wasn’t dead ☠️

Chaz/Moxxie/Millie 1/10 I don’t like it. You can tell Moxxie and Millie didn’t like it either

Chaz/Blitzo 3/10 wouldn’t have worked out 🤷‍♀️ plus Blitz ?loves (?that’s what imma use lol) Moxxie and Millie to much to go dating someone who’s hated by them and (I must add) a lousy fuck/fucker.

Martha/Mayberry 7/10 😭 They realized the man wasn’t worth it so they hooked up instead. I’m not against it 🙌 if they got over their differences then sure, go for it ladies.

Stolas/Blitzo 7/10 ugh 😩 Honestly hate the way things are going and how they treat each other (specially Blitz). If they can’t figure it out, it’d be better to just split up and go on their separate ways. But I do want them to work out their issues and become happy together. They are so cute together when they ain’t doing the toxic tango.

Loona/Octavia 2/10 See them more as siblings, friends or mentor/mentee

Stolas/Stella 1/10 Hell no :)

Stolas/Striker 1/10 Striker was literally paid to kill Stolas. Even tho Stolas finds him hot doesn’t mean it’d work out lol.

Stella/Striker 4/10 They can go fuck off with each other :)

Fizzaroli/Blitz 10/10 As a romantic ship, hell no. As a platonic ship, hell yes. I’m glad they made up and are friends again, they are such a good duo :) (Tho I won’t complain if there’s some platonic make out sessions between the two /J)

Fizzarolli/Ozzie 10/10 They are ADORABLE together 😭 They way Ozzie is with Fizz makes me happy.

Moxxie/Millie 10/10 They are perfect for each other. If you ship one of these characters with any one else, how dare you 😠

Verosika/Blitzo 3/10 Obviously Blitz doesn’t like her like that and Verosika doesn’t anymore. They had their struggles and I’m glad in the end it was somewhat “sort out”. I hope they can be friends at least, if not that’s understandable.

Mammon/Fizzarolli 2/10 Mammon’s true love is money 🤑 and he treated Fizz like shit just to get more.

Stolas/DudeThatAskedHimToDance 6/10 Ah. I think it’s cute and could be healthier and less harming than the relationship Stolas has with Blitz. If Stoliz doesn’t work out then this could be an option. 🤷‍♀️

Loona/Vortex 7/10 I think they’d be cute together but you know he’s already in a relationship with bee

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HH & HB

Lucifer/Stolas 7/10 Two emotionally damaged dads? They’d be cute and would bond over being hurt by someone they love and their relationship with their daughters. But I think I like the idea of them being friends way better.

Verosika/Valentino 3/10 I don’t know 💀 I’ve been thinking about this one for a day or two. I’m just gonna say no

Ozzie/Angel 3/10 like the idea of Angel going to Ozzie for help/work, but nothing more

Loona/Cherri 7/10 Honestly? Two badass people = badass power couple lol

Loona/Charlie 2/10 not a big fan 🤷‍♀️

Blitzo/Angel 6/10 It could work, both are vulgar and brash. They got issues that could be worked on together. But those issues they got can also be a big problem in the relationship (as it is in helluva boss between Stolas & Blitz). But, if not romantically, then they could be great business partners.

Stolas/Angel & Fizzarolli/Angel 6/10 Platonic ship! Could go two ways: a good fuck or besties for life. I love the idea of them shopping and gossiping together. I don’t particularly think they’d work as a couple tho.

Fizzarolli/Angel/Stolas 6/10 Platonic ship! Could definitely be besties. Bonding over the lovers and tyrants in their lives, going shopping etc. Don’t think they all would/could be lovers.

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What’s your favorite/least favorite ship in HH & HB?

✨ Thanks for reading :) ✨

——————

[vypridae]

That last ask made me think of all the overlords being little shits to each other, on occasion lol. So just imagine Velvette gets back at them for laughing at her at the next meeting

And despite two of the overlords being cannibals, one of them even going though the Great Depression

One of them who parties so much she’s seen more high and drunk than sober

Half of them being from shitty centuries where they ate whatever they could

Even one dude being a fucking tv and half metal

Absolutely NOTHING could have prepared them for BatteryAcid™️

They all take one sip and they’re immediately coughing on the ground like a small Victorian child who just ate a singular Takis. Vox blue screens and shuts down for a good minute. Even fucking Zestial forgets to speak in old English

Missi is the only one who takes another sip cause she ain’t a pussy

Velvette’s gen Z ass is the only one who’s fine, probably drinks that shit whenever she’s pulling an all nighter

OH MY GODDDD UR SO RIGHT UR SO RIGHT OH MY GOD, alastor's voice loses the radio effect and he accidentally blurts out "what the FUCK did you just have me drink!!", rosie is practically choking, carmilla spit it out immediately... missi being the only one that takes another sip is so real tbh. val probably says every curse word in spanish until he inevitably gets curious again and takes another sip only to do the exact same thing . velvette recorded the whole thing because it was SO funny and she would have posted it if wasnt the type of thing that would make every single overlord go after her (definitely uses it as blackmail tho)

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel LiveBlog: Scrambled Eggs

So I’m watching Hazbin with my partner who has already seen the entire series. It took us 5 minutes just to get this episode to play from the beginning because it would just skip to episode 4 while the credits where playing before i could pause or rewind. That has nothing to do with the show, it just made me unbelievably enraged, so we ain’t going into this episode happy.

What is with the cat?

It’s been a week since the last episode and every ounce of progress Sir Pentious made last episode is just thrown out as an excuse to introduce yet another character in Carmella. Was there not another way to do this? Like I get Sir Pentious wouldn’t be reformed, but just having him be suddenly paranoid with no reason isn’t founded. Even just a background detail of Angel Dust watching him from a doorway would have been enough to found that suspicion. Especially when Pentious wasn’t shown to be paranoid as a trait. I get this is narrative utilitarianism, but it’s just weak and changing one character’s personality to establish a new one is poor writing.

Sir Pentious to his eggs just feels like fandom

“That’s a lot less hot” That feels out of character

So Trust exercises to tone down the sudden change in Sir Pentious’ character and also to give Vaggie a leading role. Got it. Very utilitarian, very disjointed from the previous episode.

Sidebar, I googled who wrote this episode and it wasn’t Vivienne, however I never would have known because the last episode was equally full of contradictions that it also felt like someone else wrote it. Now maybe that was because Adam had a hand in thing, but The fact I have to google this stuff to know for sure is a joke kin its own right.

I am so conflicted about Niffty. She feels less childlike here and I like find her demented fun, but last episode she was literally written as being child-like so the pain fetish going on is repulsive, despite it not being this writer’s fault. If I want to enjoy anything about this show, I really have to just see every episode as one singular complete entity without calling back on previous ones, however this is a series and thus needs to expand itself through subsequent episodes. To not do so is a failure of concept because this series is very serialized. So in a bubble I really enjoy Niffty. In the series she is a very uncomfortable character to give violent fetishes to and make them so overt. Vivienne ruined that for you all, don’t blame me. Someone should have said how this should have been scrapped before we got this far.

Zestial is suggesting that Alastor may have died at Heaven’s hand. Alastor looks away while laughing. So there is a connection between Heaven and Alastor.

Egg Bois are cute.

Carmella has a bad case of Character Design does not match vocal performance.

Velvette, please never speak again.

Velvette is now 5 inches tall

The yellow blood looks like piss

Can someone tell Lilli Cooper that a lot of British singers don’t have such strong accents when singing. Just please, it’s a great time top drop that bad accent.

James, hi, your singing voice lost the character

The kink shaming be real.

Even Charlie infantalizes Niffty. Geez

This scene in the Turf war was peak Angel Dust. I laughed.

I have to ask, was the music written before or after the singing, because for one, Carmella sounds like she is trying to be heard over it, and second the beat of the music is either lacking or there was an issue with the audio mixing because it just sounds wrong. Like there are melodies and harmonies to a score and one of those is missing. OR, the music is just out of sync entirely with the performer.

Again, just don’t have Vaggie sing. You directed the actor to perform out of her vocal range for her modal voice. Don’t do this to her.

They are not at all harmonized, this is the worst duet I ever heard. Don’t you usually have singers record duets together so they can harmonize their voices? Why didn’t that happen here.

So this big conflict for Vaggie was never a conflict. Best resolution ever.

I like Carmella’s concept. Her character design is kinda trash and the songs were terrible. There was a good idea somewhere in this episode, but from beginning to end every aspect was contrived to just make the story work for the greater plot, the dynamics between the characters be damned. There is a sense of someone wanting to have fun with it while Medrano’s stood behind them with a chokehold on the narrative. It’s disappointing and I feel the writing suffers from Medrano’s obsessive and frantic need for control. This writing feels so insecure and I can only imagine that comes from having a very narrow box to fill.

2/10

I’m taking a break.

[seancekitsch]

Could I request Soulmates AU with Vox?

au where in every lifetime you’ll recognize your soulmate, if not by seeing them but by their voice.

You stare down at the invitation from Carmilla with disdain, a summoning for politicking that has never concerned you. As an Overlord, you reign over derelict bungalows and hippies, a weak little commune of devotees nestled in the border between Cannibal Town and Doomsday District with you as their makeshift messiah for guidance. You’re realistically weak in your own little hedonistic, fanatical bubble. No need for her to drag you all the way to her side of the city for some meeting you didn’t even belong at to discuss matters that did not concern you.

So what if the exterminators are getting bolder? You and your group go underground and have a love-in. You don’t antagonize anyone or try to strike deals. You spend all year preparing. You never need to use your supplies. You always manage to attract new devotees. Safety in numbers. You do not belong here.

The van pulls into the alley, breaking you from your thoughts.

“Thank you, Moonbeam,” you call out as you push open the door hastily, your trusted driver nodding in salute.

The building is clean, a stark white and black so different from the surroundings you’re used to.

You board the elevator in silence with the invitation crumpled in your hand, swaying to a song stuck in your head, beads and charms made by devotees jangling as you move. The bright lights make you miss the dim haze of your little village, the neverending summer of love and the end of the world all in one.

The doors open with a swoosh, way too smooth and automated directly into a meeting room, where everyone is already sat; every seat taken except for one at the far end of the room.

It occurs to you in the moment that there’s no chance of slinking out here without all of the adornment you wear alerting anyone, without glaringly drawing attention to yourself. You are stuck here, for whatever Carmilla needs.

You shimmy behind the row of chairs, everyone lost in their own conversation until your boot scrapes the leg of the open chair.

“So who invited Cult Leader Barbie?” a voice cuts through the noise, and usually you’d let it go. Usually you’d just laugh and wink and move on.

But that voice. That voice you’d recognize anywhere. Except, you’ve never heard it before, have you? You look up to see the TV headed demon staring at you, as if waiting for some kind of remark or quip to barb back at him, but none comes. You sit slackjaw and silent, as if he’d slit your throat in your seat. You can’t even hear the others in the meeting, your sole focus on that voice. It’s everything, it’s nothing, you don’t know him. But you do, don’t you? You know that voice you recognize it from somewhere. Certainly not your radios, but somewhere.

“And what do you think about this matter, Y/N?” Zestial addresses you, and you take your eyes elsewhere finally, and unfortunately you have no idea what matter he means.

But you’re not here for anything other than obligation anyway.

“I think nothin’s my problem unless you’re lookin’ to add some more peace and love to my little corner,” you sneer, “In which case, that ain’t a problem.”

You smile as you lean back, hoping that they’ll all just start arguing and you can either leave or have some entertainment. And that almost happens, save for one particular demon, the only one you want to actually hear. The man with the TV head smirks as he stares at you, something knowing in his glance. You decide immediately that you don’t like that, despite an almost need to listen to him speak again.

You’re the first one to the elevator when the meeting ends, practically leaping out of your seat in a flurry of fringe and jangling jewelry and color to rush back to comfort.

Only a hand stops the elevator from closing all the way.

“Leaving so soon?” That voice, that fucking voice.

“I fear the outside world is too strange for my kind, you most of all,” you retort, treading on the side of ambiguity.

“Or maybe I put you on edge, Mother Superior,” and he smirks again, “I saw how you looked at me.”

You narrow your eyes at him, the elevator all too slow, and maybe that’s his doing. Damn technology.

“Do I know you…?” you ask, a joke hanging on every syllable. If he can play with you, you can play back.

“It’s me! You’re you! Don’t you? My little bohemian?” he shakes his head as he searches your scowl, as if he is mistaken.

And it’s then that you get a good look at him. Really look at him. Really hear him. And how could you forget? You’ve heard his voice a million times, you’ve heard him preach and rant, heard him whisper to you as the dawn rises, heard him cry, moan, scream. Even with a tv for a face, how could you forget his? It’s all so simple now, and you almost want to kiss Carmilla for making you come here.

You break out into a laugh, and slap your forehead.

“Silly me! Where has the time gone? I’d never forget you, Daddy-o!” you exclaim, and he smiles for real this time. His hands find your shoulders immediately, and then he wraps you in an embrace. You could weep it feels so good. More like home than any legions of devotees could make you feel. More at home than any camp or ranch or bunker.

“Can I come home with you?” he asks, and you nod as you lean further into his chest, into your destiny.

[alastors-airwaves]

oh dear does that mean all of hell including the hotel knows about alastors secret

Vox: *practically loses it when the news breaks, his glitching screen flickering with static as he processes what he just heard. Also smirking but twitching with disbelief* Alastor... pregnant? And an omega? Oh, this is rich! All that big talk about being an alpha, and now look at him—knocked up. I’m going to have a field day with this. *His screen crackles as he lets out a distorted laugh.*

Valentino: *lounging in his office when he hears the news, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He raises an eyebrow, a wide, predatory grin spreading across his face* Aww, ain’t that cute? Our little deer boy’s been keeping secrets. An omega? Pregnant? Man, the whole ‘alpha’ thing was all an act... Guess he ain’t so high and mighty after all. *He chuckles, blowing a puff of smoke.* Can’t wait to see how he squirms his way outta this one. Maybe he’s gonna need some...support from yours truly~

Velvette: *She tilts her head as the news hits her ears, a little surprised, but amused* Ohhh, how scandalous! The big bad Radio Demon is expecting? I never would've guessed he was an omega... What a fun twist! *She taps her fingers against her phone excitedly as she posts her news of Alastor’s status as an omega and pregnancy*

Carmilla: *narrows eyes skeptically* Alastor? Pregnant? Please. This has to be some kind of stunt. The man’s a trickster—who’s to say he isn’t just playing everyone for fools again? Though... *she muses thoughtfully* ...if it’s true, that’s one hell of a vulnerability for someone like him.

Zestial: *quietly, more to himself* An omega? Pregnant... Hm. Interesting. *He doesn’t mock or laugh, but instead, he begins considering how this revelation could play into his own long-term goals.* This could be... advantageous.

Rosie already knew about Alastor’s pregnancy but didn’t expect it to come out this way. She’s in shock for a moment, her usual calm composure rattled by the public nature of the revelation.

Rosie: *hands covering her mouth, eyes wide* Oh, Alastor... *She shakes her head, a mixture of worry and frustration bubbling up.* I told you to be careful... I didn’t think it would come out like this. What a mess.

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

This starts off weird, but hear me out.

Today, as I was watching a video, minding my own business, I heard someone call Sir Pentious, of all people, an Overlord.

That got me thinking. Specifically, thinking about that Overlord meeting in the third episode.

Because Carmilla doesn’t say it’s an Overlord meeting. She addresses the others as “Hell’s Sovereign Overlords”.

This is important, because in the pilot, Cherri Bomb and Angel Dust have a turf war with Sir Pentious. An Overlord, by Hazbin Hotel rules, seems to be defined as someone that owns other people’s souls. I don’t know if the Egg Boiz were ever people, but if they were, that would make Sir Pentious an Overlord. Technically.

But, of course, these itty-bitty Overlords are nothing compared to powerhouses like the Vees and Zestial. So, what if these little Overlords sold their souls to bigger ones? That would make the bigger ones…Sovereign Overlords. The biggest of the bunch, the powerhouses, essentially the ruling committee of the Pride Ring. It’s not like Lucifer was doing anything.

So, that would mean that there are, in total, nine Sovereign Overlords:

Carmilla Carmine, Zestial, Rosie, Zeezi, Alastor, the Vees, and that bluish fire guy in a suit.

Carmilla mentions that, together, they own millions of souls. Millions. These aren’t your everyday Overlords, these are the big boys.

You know what that means?

It means that, when Alastor became the hotel’s facility manager, the hotel got ultimate political protection. Charlie is almost never taken seriously by anyone, possibly because Lucifer never does anything. But Alastor? He’s a Sovereign Overlord. And, on top of that, he’s the Radio Demon. There are still posters up that say to not fuck with him. That might be one of the reasons Alastor kicks Mimzy out. He can’t have loan sharks showing up at the hotel under his protection, not without some complicated Overlord politics getting involved. It would also be a reflection on his reputation, and he can’t have that either.

The hotel has only been attacked on-screen four times in the whole show. The first three times, the attackers had no idea the Radio Demon lived there. Sir Pentious clearly didn’t know until after the coat-ripping (tentacles aren’t something the Radio Demon is known for, but the antlers are), and the loan sharks were after Mimzy. The fourth time was the Extermination.

This sudden decrease in violence in the most violent place in the universe seems strange, unless you take into account political protection. The Princess lives there (not that anyone seems to care), and no one wants the Radio Demon to fuck them up.

…Oh. Ohhh. THAT’S why Husk, an Overlord, sold his soul to a Sovereign Overlord like Alastor to keep his—ohhhhh.

Husk still has his card powers…which means he probably still owns some souls. If this is all true (I honestly have no clue, it’s all theoretical), then that makes what Husk tells Alastor in “Dad Beat Dad” even weirder. Because Overlords selling their souls to Sovereign Overlords isn’t usually a big deal. But he made the deal to keep his power. And he says “You may own my soul, but I ain’t your fucking pet.”

Husk had assumed he’d be mostly left alone, like other Overlords after selling their souls, to do his own thing. And, since Alastor seems to mostly be a loner, he probably was. I mean, when we first see Husk, he’s gambling—and he’s about to win the whole pot.

Right before Alastor summons Niffty and Husk, he says he could “cash in a few favors” to help out.

The favor Husk owes him is the deal Husk made with him to keep his power.

Oh my fucking god.

(EDIT: I can’t believe I miscounted the Overlords.)

[azlan-snow]

Humble Beginnings(Radiobelle)

Chapter 13: A Trip To Rosie

(Told from Al’s POV)

As I arise from more than my average amount of sleep,I find Charlotte missing from her own bed. “Charlie?” I begin to frantically look for her before her door opens, revealing her hiding place.

“Good Morning, Al! I made you breakfast!” She walks over with a tray filled with food for the both of us.

“You made me worried!”

“About what? You think I'm just going to just leave you here, in my room, by yourself?”

“I-.” He paused, contemplating his next words. “Fair point.”

“Exactly. You gonna eat?”

“Of course.” She hands me the tray before sitting next to me. I told her my plan for the day, and she relayed to me hers while we ate before we got dressed and departed. As I walk to Cannibal Town I thought about what I wanted to talk to Rosie about. “Such a sensitive topic.”

As I enter, I notice a familiar figure. “Terrific.” It’s Susan, an ornery old bitch who never minds her own business.

“Alastor!” 

“Susan! How can I help such a lady this fine morning?”

“You headin’ over to Rosie’s?”

“Indeed! And I do wish not to be late. Farewell, Susan!” I begin to teleport past her before feeling a sharp pain on my back.

“I ain’t done with you yet, ya fuckin’ moron!”

“Y-You burned me? With a torch?”

“Fuck yeah I did! I told ya I wasn’t done with you yet!”

“We’ll have to pick this up another time.” I return to my shadow and teleport as fast as I can to Rosie’s Emporium. I knock on the door and am greeted by the smiling demon. “Alastor,” she asks, her voice prominent with her accent.  

“Rosie, my dear. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“What happened to ya’?” 

“Susan.” 

“Susan…burned ya?”

“And my favorite suit.”

“Let me take care of ya.” She ushers me to a chair before sitting me down and undressing me. she pulls out a repairment kit and begins to work on me and my clothes as we talk.

“You came to see me about Charlie?”

“Yes. It would seem she is what my dead heart desires.”

“Romantically?”

“Fortunately, yes.”

“Oh My Goodness! Finally!”

“What do you mean, finally?

“You two had it on last time you were here together. When you came seeking my cannibals.”

“She had a girlfriend then, Rosie. The ex-exterminator?”

“I’m aware. But your pupils dilate for no one. But now, they won’t go back to their stone cold look! I’m proud of ya’, dear boy.”

“Why?”

“Cause I was rootin’ for ya’! It’s not everyday my ace in tha’ hole finds him a gal!”

“A what now?”

“Nevermind. It’s not my first time explaining it to you.” A moment of silence passes before Rosie speaks again from her sewing machine, repairing my clothes.

“Have you done anything with her yet?” “Excuse me?”

“Ya heard me. Have ya’ made yer’ move yet?”

“All I have done is sleep with her and proclaim my love to her. Is that not enough?”

“Ya slept her?”

“She wouldn’t release me. And she calls me clingy. And no, not in the disgusting way you’re thinking of. She doesn’t desire any of that and neither do I.”

“Understandable. Have ya’ taken her out on a date yet?”

“That’s what I came to see you about. What exactly is a ‘date’?”

“Well, a date is when you take your lover and do somethin’ fun!”

“Like something she likes?”

“Yes. Now, I have another appointment, so I need you to leave.” She hands me a small bag for Charlotte before shoving me out of the shop. 

I head out of Cannibal Town and to the outskirts of a different palace.

“Alastor, is that thine?”

“Zestial, my old friend! How are you?”

"I am fine, my friend. Thou seemed to be walking apace. Does thou have time to forbear a moment for tea?”

“Of course, my friend. I always have time for tea.” 

Zestial teleports us to his massive estate, or castle if you will, and we chatted about Overlord business over a spot of tea. But something felt off. I look down at my shadow who seems to have the same reaction. “Go find Charlotte.”  He sets off and finds her before reporting back what he saw. “WHAT!” I rush out of my seat and teleport to Charlotte’s current location, where she lies, barely breathing, unconscious, and near dead, in the outskirts of Cannibal Town. I pick her up, grief pouring from me, and teleport her to the hotel, where Angel greets me with a distraught face.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Boss, you okay?”

“Did you do this, you motherfucker?”

“GET OUT!!” I shift quickly, distorting my voice, appearance, and the space around me kicking everyone out of the hotel before returning to my normal state. I remove Charlie’s clothes, seeing the full extent of her wounds. All over her were stab wounds, slashing marks, bullet holes, and burns decorating her body. As I tend to her wounds, I cry, letting out all my pent up sadness. 

When I came back from getting a bowl of fresh water for me to use to clean her body, when I see her, eyes filled with tears and pain, awake and trying to move. “Don’t move, mon cher. Your body isn’t prepared for that,” I say, laying a gentle ungloved hand on her scarred torso.

“Al-Alastor?”

“Hello, beloved. You are going to be alright, I promise. I found you, but I am not understanding in the slightest  you were by Cannibal Town.”

“I-” Charlie collapse, right in front of me, not knowing when she would return.

[firecrackerhh]

I HAVE THOUGHTS!!!

Ok not really a lot of this is just gonna be quotes I like. With a few sprinklings of original thought mixed in.

S1E1: “Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!”

Damn Al so fucking savage.

“I like being forced!” “Keep that to yourself Niff.”

“I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place…on the path to redemption!”

“I ain’t no actor, I can’t memorize this shit!”

Uuuuuuh…is Niffty ok?

The angels obviously don’t like that one of their own has been killed…but like…wouldn’t they just…go back to heaven? I was under the impression you couldn’t kill an Angel unless I’m missing something. Tho I guess it’s only fair, if demons can be killed permanently, so can angels.

S1E2: Lmao I would watch a show called “I fucked your sister, so what?”

Ooooh Vox can teleport through electronics.

“Wrist ruffles, what is this, 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it!”

“Take care of the pissbaby!”

OMG Val is such a pissbaby LMAO!! I see Vox wears the pants in the relationship.

“Killing Alastor is your kink.”

“He wanted me to join his team, I said no and now he’s pissy, that’s the tea!” Yooooo!!

“Not many people have been able to take off this much of me! It must mean a lot to you!” Fucking burns it Lmao.

“Now if you excuse me, I’m off to not have intercourse before marriage!”

Poor Angel.

“If they don’t kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure!” Lmao me internally when people make me angry.

Ok the song was cute ngl.

S1E3: “Oh hello purple female!”

Alastor: ‘says literally anything’ I love him.

Vaggie acting like a lil drill sergeant.

“I like sucking—popsicles you sicko! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

“Sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others!” Oh Niffty you sick bitch, no wonder Al keeps you around Lmao.

“YAY PAIN!!!”

I was not expecting her to keep doing it, so Niffty is a masochist, got it.

Zestial kinda hot ngl.

Loved the song! I love Velvette.

Mother!? Wait is Carmilla hellborn?? She has KIDS!?!

“Nothing requires more trust than BDSM baby!” I mean…he’s right.

Vaggie just taking them to a fucking turf war or some shit LMAOOO. I mean, there’s also no trust like between those fighting for a common cause so…it works.

So Carmilla killed that angel…can’t say I blame her.

S1E4 Husk calling out everyone Lmao. “And Niffty? You don’t wanna know what her deal is.”

“What the fuck makes you think you can treat him like that!?”

Oooooh I wanna see Charlie kick Val’s ass so baaaaaad!!! Angel can join in too of course.

So Husk was an overlord before Alastor came along…interesting.

Songs a mood.

Charlie must be protected at all costs, thank Satan she has Vaggie.

Also apparently Charlie hasn’t seen her mom in 7 years? And I think they said Alastor was gone for 7 years?

Ok there’s gotta be a third 7 coming up, it’s gotta mean something right?

Guess I gotta stay tuned.

[spiderslvts]

@zestials ⸺ ❛ you got 𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐒, i’ll give you that. ❜

angel’s teeth  GLITTERED  ;  a mouthful of white gold, the most sought - after, precious gem this side of the lust ring. his expression twisted into what  could’ve   been   a   smile,  stained with the same persona of bittersweet carnality, like the spider overlord is   JUST  ANOTHER  CLIENT�� meant to be sculpted into putty in angel’s hands.  (  AS IF HE COULD ESCAPE THE CONVERSATION with a simple  sway in his hips  and a heavy-lidded look in his eye. as if zestial was so easy to convince.  )

❝   oh, i’ve got more than guts, honey ~    ❞      he   𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐒,  his fingers absently dancing over the short hem of the neon pink, high - waisted mini shorts that hugged his lower half.       ❝   and it ain’t just guts that’s makin’ me do what i do.    ❞

the overlord’s voice lingered in the back of angel’s head.   (   asking about valentino, a curious tilt to his voice,  GOD, WHAT DID HE KNOW ?   )      if it shook angel, he didn’t let it be known. even in his platforms, he stood  a  couple  feet  shorter  than zestial ; the perfect height to look up at him with heavy lashes and a   SMILE   that almost begged for chase. 

[that-one-bi-wizard]

I like that one random fan theory that Zestial is Abel. It makes almost no sense yet it would still be the best thing ever.

Nooo bc that’s actually really funny. I like that theory. If he ain’t in heaven and Zestial is the oldest, it lines up😭😭

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

To follow up on the “Velvette would be in deep shit if she was ever disrespectful to Alastor” thing, I’m going to explain why…with a song analysis!

The most characterization we get for Velvette is her song “Respectless”, so if we put this together with what Alastor tells Husk in “Dad Beat Dad”, it paints a very ugly picture.

So, Velvette starts off the Overlord meeting by calling everyone there “a joke”. Bold words. Now, she spends almost all of her time specifically antagonizing Carmilla, but I think it’s safe to say that she’d do it to anyone, considering how she talks to Vox in “Radio Killed The Video Star”. With this is mind, let’s get going!

“You’ve got it twisted,

I’m not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it, but I’m that #Bitch,

And I will do nothing less than what I please, woo!

I’m the backbone of the Vees.

Mad that I acted respectless?

Well, it’s ‘cause no one could respect this.”

She says, right off the bat, that she doesn’t respect them and what they’re doing…which is taking consequences into consideration. Velvette doesn’t seem to care about common sense at all, and shows a remarkable lack of self-preservation skills. Remember, she’s not saying this to average sinners. These are Overlords, one of which is the Radio Demon—remember that guy?—who could quite easily kill her if they wanted to. I mean, Carmilla has angelic steel on her shoes. There seem to be other angelic weapons on display outside the meeting room. And she’s also falling for the old he-doesn’t-look-powerful-so-he-must-be-weak trick Alastor has been actively using for decades.

And, well, we don’t know how powerful Velvette is. We don’t know what she can do. So far, the only power she’s displayed is being able to change a girl’s clothes and make potions. And if we take Alastor’s line about the Vees in “Stayed Gone” as something that goes for the other Vees…ouch.

She came to this meeting alone. Knowing that the Radio Demon was back and would likely be there. Compared to Zestial, who she calls a “fossil”, Alastor isn’t nearly as ancient. He’s still much older than her, but he died in 1933. Television was around by then. Then again, Vox calls Alastor a fossil too.

“Sorry, group attending,

Since when are Overlords too scared to fight?

You’re long past trending,

Sorry, bae, but I ain’t swiping right!

You lost your relevance!”

Oh, Velvette. You #Bitch. “You lost your relevance”? Alastor fucked Vox’s shit up and casually dropped a diss track just last week. The Radio Demon might not be as politically involved as he used to be, but he is most definitely relevant to you and your safety. The entire pentagram lost power, shocking you so badly that your hair frizzed up and stood on end. And remember, he’s the Radio Demon. He can control radio waves. TV, Wifi, the Internet—they all rely on radio waves. If Alastor wanted to collectively nuke the Vees, he could.

Also, really? A Tinder reference? Are there Overlords on Tinder? Or is it Vinder?

At least she threw out a “Sorry, group attending”. It was probably the only thing that kept her from being eviscerated immediately.

“Ugh, no wonder I’m so respectless!

I could eat you lot for breakfast!”

…Bold words to say in front of two cannibals. One of which—and I cannot stress this enough—is the fucking Radio Demon. For someone who’s so trendy that she keeps changing her hairstyle, she sure is falling for an old trick. People have been dismissing and mocking Alastor since he manifested in Hell. Y’know, until he started broadcasting his victims’ screams. And no one consistently recognizes him as the Radio Demon when he’s in his everyday form, so it’s safe to say the disrespect continues.

And—okay. We haven’t seen any of the other Overlords in Hazbin Hotel (I don’t have a clue about Helluva Boss) transform the way Alastor does. Going off the pilot and Mimzy’s monologue, he seems to have multiple large forms, his most common being this:

…And that isn’t the form we see in “Dad Beat Dad”. The eyes are wrong. There aren’t any tentacles. The Radio Demon has multiple skyscraper-high forms and Velvette is actively saying she could “eat you lot for breakfast”. She’d better have a big fucking mouth and some sturdy ass forks. If she has any hands or arms by the time Alastor is done beating her up.

The rest of her song is directly to Carmilla, so it’s not really applicable to anything else. But with all of this, it’s safe to say that Velvette:

1. Doesn’t respect the other Overlords

2. Doesn’t see the point in considering consequences

3. Is either unaware of how her word choice could get her killed or doesn’t care

4. Sees herself as above the others

5. Sees the other Overlords as “a joke” and calls them irrelevant

6. Has a remarkable lack of self-preservation skills, considering the fucking Radio Demon is right fucking there

7. Is blissfully unaware of how fucked she and the other Vees are if the Radio Demon (who, again, controls radio waves) sees them as a threat

And, lastly…the reason she in particular would be fucked over.

“If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wretch who dares to question me.

And if anyone had any doubts about Alastor and radio waves…it’s on the Wiki.

[spiderslvts]

something  SHIFTS  in angel’s eyes  :  a flash  of  neon  fear   that vanishes almost as quick as it arrives.  angel tilts his head, and the smile that returns to his features is a little more  FORCED  than it had been before. the subtle glow of zestial’s eyes gleams a bright green over angel’s eyes.  (  PINK  MEETS  VIRIDESCENT   /    NEON  LIGHTS  MEET  A  DARKENED  ALLEYWAY  OF  VINTAGE  MYSTERY  !  )

the word  WHO  lingers heavy and hot in the forefront of angel’s mind.  zestial  knew  ⸺  and  OF  COURSE  he did.  overlords  talk,  didn’t  they  ?   in what world could he pretend that only his confidantes knew about the extent of his deal ? TO THE WORLD, angel was just under the management of a vee. and that's all they needed to know.

❝   don’t  worry  about  who  ?    ❞     he asks coyly, letting the light hit his smile.       ❝   i ain’t worried ‘bout  NOBODY . . .    ❞ 

zestial knew exactly what rumors circulated the souls under valentino's command. such carnality has been around since the dawn --- it's the sheer disrespect that irks zestial. making a home beneath his skin , extended not only to fellow overlords but even the souls collected. it was no way to reign ( but oh , the joy of watching him burn , the fall sure to come will be sweet ! )

& zestial had perhaps just shoved the nail in the proverbial coffin. it had been far too easy to use such hubris , wielded as sharp as a knife --- or in this case a arachnid's claw. meticulously planned until the options were obey or suffer a fate worse than death. now one more soul lay in zestial's collection , currently .... flirting with him ?

the overlord finds a tad too much amusement in it , knowing what the other obviously hasn't yet figured out. his movements are smooth & precise , body contorting to peer down at the sinner. " what is it then , compelling thee to act thus ? or rather , who ? "

he lets it hang in the silence for a moment , a hefty revelation that he knows ( of course he does ) until laughter unravels with eerie , echoing presence. " i jest , fret not about him any longer. "