#and it affected my childhood and the way i grew up and the way i was socialised and the way i interacted with people
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thelindenpapers Ā· 3 days ago
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"who taught you that suffering in silence was noble, and how would you shutting up have benefited them?"
It's often something you learn when you're in an abusive or oppressive situation.
Especially long-term.
And especially if those long-term situations occur multiple times throughout life.
I grew up in an extremely racist/misogynist community.
They learned that they couldn't bully or intimidate me ...but they would pick on anyone who tried to defend me.
And that later expanded into them shunning or bullying anyone who I let on that I liked, or even worse, was crushing on.
I grew up with an abusive, fascist father.
He killed our dog. Why? Because it kept angrily and loudly barking every time he was trying to hurt Mom and me.
More than that: in my childhood community, anyone I tried to talk to would either ignore me like I was a ghost, or, shout slurs and death threats in my face. I'm talking early on in life: Before kindergarten, Kindergarten to at LEAST thru 3rd grade.
So:
You learn that anyone you like gets punished for the grevious faux pas of being liked by you.
You learn that anyone who tries to help you, gets hurt or even killed.
You learn that almost nobody comes to help when you cry for help.
You learn that even trying to talk or say 'Hi' to people, results in them suddenly appearing harmed or troubled or annoyed or angry, somehow.
...And why wouldn't I be silent?
As a feral kid, no one was going to listen to me anyway, no one was going to care how I felt about anything or about how anything was affecting me.
And if I did tell?
People frequently took the abuser's side.
Just as the cops did, the very first time I was finally old enough to threaten dad right back!
Don't even get me started on my marriage.
How long are you supposed to keep on telling a person, 'Hey, these are my needs, and I need your help to get something done about it please.
Hey, I should probably see a doctor, why aren't you letting me have access?
Hey, we really need to talk about our relationship. I don't know why you don't want to spend bonding time together.
Why are you making it so difficult for me to try to get a job or an education?
Why are you sabotaging my writing efforts?
Why do you get so upset at my physical activities?
What is with the panic when you see I'm trying to advance my tech skills?
Why does it anger you so much when I try to be proactive and vigilant in making us a comfortable and clean and helpful home?'.....
He actually complained to me:
"Why can't you just LIE?"
About being happy.
About being well.
So yeah.
Why would I want to ask his (or his parents) help in anything. I can't trust them at all.
Why would I allow someone to help if it might get them hurt or killed in the attempt?
Why would I bother to let anyone know? When, after SO many years of being stuck in a deep pit of a life, to help me would probably cause WAY more stress and take WAY more effort and resources, than any one person could possibly offer or endure?
Why would I do that?
When someone might decide to try and help, start the process -- decide partway through that it's all too much, and abandon the process: leaving me in a position that is less safe than where I started?
( Hell, sometimes that is an on-purpose thing. When a person feels bad, and knows they can't or don't want to help, but they'll make a gesture to make themselves feel good, not caring whether what they try to do is actually helpful or effective. )
And why would I tell people exactly what I'm going through, when so many around me would instead:
Victim-blame me.
Call me a liar.
Assume I was crazy.
Nod sympathetically and then use it as a way for them to feel much better about how they're doing in their own lives.
Say it's too much, say it's not so bad, or say others have it way worse.
Enjoy my explanation and my existence as a form of entertainment like I'm their personal IRL soap opera.
Or, use the information that I've given them about me as a way to hurt me further -- since they now seem to think that I'm some easy target, or that, in some twisted sense, abusing me further is somehow less morally bad, and more acceptable: because I've been abused before.....
So in their eyes, I'm 'Already soiled'?
'Already hopeless'?
'Already nothing'?
It's nothing to do with moral superiority.
It's survival.
...And I'm not saying it's right.
In an ideal situation, absolutely: being helped at any point in my life would have been great!
A healthier social structure would allow for this.
In a world where care was offered by the Community rather than by the individual, I wouldn't worry about speaking, just to find myself in worse trouble than when the 'helping' process started...
But this ain't a healthy world yet.
^^;
You asked why people feel that way.
So I've told you all the reasons why they might.
YMMV. šŸ¤·šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø
who taught you that suffering in silence was noble, and how would you shutting up have benefited them?
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sofrosine Ā· 5 months ago
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šŸ–¤ + Isabel and Imogen crossover thoughts? šŸ‘‰šŸ‘ˆ
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / Iā€™m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donā€™t like them / i donā€™t trust them / they annoy me / theyā€™re weird / Iā€™m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyā€™re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iā€™m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyā€™re cool / theyā€™re genuine / I think weā€™re going to get along / I really like them / I think Iā€™m in love / oh fuck theyā€™re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donā€™t like them / i donā€™t trust them / they annoy me / theyā€™re weird / Iā€™m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyā€™re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iā€™m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyā€™re cool / theyā€™re genuine / I think weā€™re going to get along / I really like them / I think Iā€™m in love / oh fuck theyā€™re hot / I love them.
#hear me out: i think is the sexiest proposition iā€™ve ever fucking heard#bear with me because my star war knowledge is limited at best and mostly comes from you and my other beloved moots but#this is a REMARKABLY good match up in i think a lot of ways??#from the way you write bix i think she and iz have a lot in common personality wise so right off the bat i think thatā€™s probably a good#indicator of what imogen might think of her once she grew on her#but imogen especially and her veryā€¦cold? indifferent? expressions of love (not in a bad way but you know what i mean) are exactly what iz#needs in a partner. like. she is deeply uncomfortable with blatant outright affection and sappy expressions of love and i think that#imogenā€™s moreā€¦almost slightly casual but deeply devoted version of love would suit her perfectly#iz wants to be loved and she wants to be coveted and imogen most certainly could covet her the way she needs#and i think iz has the charisma and extroversion to balance the relationship out ā€” sheā€™d be brave enough to tease imogen with little fear#she has a good and very dry sense of humor that i think would grow on imogen like a fungus#and she can ask for no pickles without threatening to cut off someoneā€™s hand you know#ā€˜if you do not remove those offensive dills i will endā€”ā€˜ ā€˜haha okay honey. what she means is we asked for no pickles.ā€™#you know what i mean?#iā€™ve been rambling for too long but i also want to say even from solely a friendship perspective ā€” i know friend is not a common term in#imogenā€™s book but she and iz truly have so much in common#the wealthy childhood#the war crimes (even if iz didnā€™t intend to commit them)#the heaviness of the past#i think iz would see through the bluster and see imogen for what she is and i think while they may not ever be besties#they would understand each other better than most#thank you cayman this was delicious to think about#foc: imogen kol#c: isabel maretti
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foldingfittedsheets Ā· 2 months ago
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A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and itā€™s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.
When I was a teenager my hold on this ability becameā€¦ tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.
Itā€™s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.
Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way Iā€™d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?
Reader, I snapped. I didnā€™t want this romantic attention but I also didnā€™t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.
It started with the boy in biology. Iā€™d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.
I stabbed him with his own pencil.
I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.
ā€œIā€™m so sorry, I didnā€™t- I donā€™t know why- Iā€™m so sorry!ā€ I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (Itā€™s very important to note here that he forgave me and weā€™re still friends)
That was weird, I thought. Why didnā€™t I think before I stabbed someone?
The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.
This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think thatā€™s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. ā€œWhy did you do that?!ā€
I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.
By this time thereā€™d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, Youā€™d better put the cap on before you throw it.
I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.
All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why Iā€™d done that. One of the girls to my right said, ā€œWere you trying to hit that fly?ā€
ā€œYes!ā€ I lied, ā€œIā€™m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!ā€
Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.
Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl Iā€™d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, ā€œItā€™s going to be alright.ā€
My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When Iā€™d impulsively hopped in sheā€™d joined me and made it a game.
After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.
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ghelgheli Ā· 8 months ago
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i would actually like to hear more of your thoughts on whipping girl, whenever you feel ready enough to talk about it. i've only ever heard positive recommendations for it. i was thinking of reading it. i've read one or two introductory 101 texts on transmisogyny as well as some medium/substack posts, and always looking to read more as a tme person. ty!
thanks for asking! I'm gonna try to be concise because I'm stuck on my phone for the month, but here are my thoughts on whipping girl:
serano is at her strongest in the book in three areas: manifestations of transmisogyny in media (e.g. how trans caricatures pervade movies), the history of medical institutions developing a pathology of transsexuality (like the diagnostics of blanchard et al. or how trans people seeking healthcare were and continue to be forced into acting out prescribed expressions and manufacturing memories), and the construction of her own transition narrative (telling the reader what it was like for her to grow up desiring femininity in a way that confused her, the experience of crossdressing, the effects of hrt for her)
whenever she's just sticking to this, I think she effectively communicates a lot that the unaware reader could benefit fromā€”even many trans women/transfems/tma people who are otherwise in tune with the history of medicalized transsexualism and our popular depictions could probably benefit from her own personal narrative, by nature of how variegated our experiences can be.
unfortunately I think the book fails at its primaryā€”statedā€”goal, which is to theorize about transmisogyny. in the big picture this is a bifurcated failure:
on one branch of her argument, she remains committed to there being something biologically essential/innate about gender. this manifests thru multiple claims: that we have "innate inclinations" toward masculinity/femininity and "subconscious sex" rather than what I believe, which is that the latter are constructed categories imposed on different matrices of behaviour/expression/desire in different cultural contexts; that there is "definitely a biological component to gender" (close paraphrase) after a discussion of how she believes E and T tend to affect people (thus equivocating gender with dominant hormones!); that we have such a thing as "physical sex" which is the composition of our culturally decided "sex characteristics" (don't ask me how the dividing line is drawn) even as she says we should stop using "biological sex" as a term; that there is "no harm" in agreeing that "sex" is largely bimodal with some exceptions; that social constructionism is necessarily erasure of transsexual experiences in early childhood... altogether she is unwilling to relinquish arguments about the partial "innateness" of femininity/masculinity and gender. this is at tension with her admission on several occasions that these are neither culturally/geographically nor temporally stable concepts! but that doesn't seem to be a line she can follow thru on.
on another, intertwining branch, she engages in what I think is a deep and widespread mistake in the theorizing of transmisogyny: reducing it (mechanistically) to what she calls effemimania* or essentially anti-femininity. it is her stated thesis at the start that masculinity is universally preferred to femininity. she doesn't offer a definition of either term until one of the final chapters, where she defines them as the behaviours and expressions associated with a particular gender. but I think this reduction just misunderstands transmisogyny. it is even in tension with an observation she makes early on, that trans women are often punished for their perceived masculinity! but again, this is a thought she seems unable or unwilling to follow thru with.
my problem with the thesis is that masculinity and femininity do not float free of genderā€”it is not possible to speak of their valuation in the abstract. anyone who grew up as a masculine cis girl and never "grew out" of that "phase" can attest to the violence wrought upon expressions of masculinity from women. and this applies doubly so to the subjects of transmisogyny! not only are we punished for any perceived bleed-through of masculinity from our supposed "underlying male selves", those of us who are willingly masculine and thriving as mascs are punished for our failure to conform to the rules of the normative womanhood that is imposed on us (just as we are punished for any willing femininity as "false" and predatory upon cis womanhoodā€”observe that transmisogyny is reactive degendering in every case!).
on both branches serano makes only perfunctory remarks about the intersections with race, class, and colonialism. "sex" as such was made to only be accessible to the "civilized", most of all the white european! for a racialized person and particularly a Black person navigating gender the waters are just not the same; the signifiers of sex neither available in the same way, nor granted the same medical legitimacy. what is the "physical sex" of someone who is de-sexed altogether? how can gender have a "biologically innate" component when its expressions between the bourgeoisie and the working class are at total odds with one another? this all goes for the masculine/feminine distinctions as well. what sense is there in the claim that we have innately masculine/feminine inclinations when globally (and transmisogyny has been made global!) what is feminine and masculine can be very nearly mirrored? nor is "masculinity is always considered superior to femininity" innocent of obviating race. transmisogynoir adds yet further degendering thru the coercive masculinization of someone as a Black womanā€”masculinization as punishment, again!
and as a final point, the account fails to be materialist. there is no attempt to place transmisogyny in its role as an instrument of political economy or, as jules gill-peterson might say, as a tool of statecraft. it is just a psychological response to the way the world is, as far as serano has anything to say about it. but how did the world become that way, and why?? serano's solution, the abolition of what she calls gender entitlement, is naive to the fact that gender entitlement is necessary to the maintenance of the capitalist state, which is structured thru patriarchy and built on colonialism. it is not possible to reskin this into something innocuous!
this is why I cannot recommend whipping girl as a work about transmisogyny except at the most shallow level. it could be a helpful critical read, but imo, it is just wrong about transmisogyny.
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hxnbi Ā· 4 months ago
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āø» Ā°ā™”āƒ˜ . WIND BREAKER BOYS AS ROMANCE TROPES
pairings. umemiya hajime, choji tomiyama, sakura haruka, endo yamato, kiryu mitsuki x gn. reader (separate)
part two
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UMEMIYA HAJIME + childhood friends to lovers
in my eyes, umemiya is one who would undoubtedly prefer someone who knows him better than himself and connects with him than anyone elseā€”that person being the one he grew up with, someone who can bear his craziness and his occasionally unhinged behaviour. scratch that, his consistently unhinged behaviour.
with all the hardships he had been through in his life, from scraped and bloody knees from playing in the park to shared secrets between you two, you were always there for him, and so would he. umemiya has been your constant since childhood, and the same goes with him. the transition from friends to perhaps something more was seamless. almost as if it had always been meantā€”waiting, patiently, to happen. friendship formed the foundation of your relationship, and it would be what remains. as you both grew, so did your feelings, maturing into a love that was as enduring as umemiya himself. only when he faced the ideaā€”the terrifying possibility of losing you, did he realize.
ā€œthatā€™s itā€¦ā€
hiragiā€™s face scrunched up, peering over at umemiya, whose face was compressed onto the desk he was laying on. ā€œthe hell are you talking about?ā€
with a burst of energy, umemiya suddenly lifted his face from the desk like a startled meerkat, ā€œTHATS IT! THATā€™S WHAT IT IS! I LOVE THEM!!ā€ leaving hiragi practically hyperventilating, sighing heavily before popping more than a few pills into his mouth for good measure (not medical advice).
ā€œstill donā€™t understand who youā€™re referring toā€¦ā€
thatā€™s just itā€¦ you werenā€™t ā€œjust a siblingā€ to him. he never thought that way. he never ever saw you in only that way.
he began dreaming up a future with you. after all, you knew him best, had been through his best and worst moments, and even then, stuck by him. his desire to be protective over you was a comforting presence, even if it was sometimes perhaps a bit overbearing, but that was umemiyaā€™s personality. through the years, his commitment to you never changed, never wavered, for his mind was already made up.
he didnā€™t know that the one he needed by his side was there all along. youā€™ve always been by each otherā€™s side, and now, as you both grow older and as the years tick by, umemiya can't, he just couldn't imagine a day without you. you mean too much for him to just let you go. friendship turned into love, and before you knew it, you both would be together, dancing at your wedding.
...or so was umemiyaā€™s dream when he woke up that morning, just wishing for that to be a reality.
CHOJI TOMIYAMA + love at first sight
a simple, straightforward case of who has caught your eye sort of trope, but choji knew that this was different. choji was never one to hide his emotionsā€”wearing his feelings very much on his sleeve, and when he saw you for the first time, his heart made its intentions clear. the world stops around him the first time he sees you, and he very obviously stares and gawks at you with no shame. it was love at first sight.
togameā€™s eyes widen like a deer in headlights. ā€œw-what? are you sure?ā€Ā 
ā€œyeah!! it was like nothing iā€™ve ever felt before,ā€ choji sighs exasperatingly, leaning on his chair with a clear conscience, ā€œthey were so dreamyā€¦ i wish i could see them again.ā€
and see you again, he would. Not by accident, as what you initially thought, but choji and choji alone would pull the strings to make every meeting seemingly happen, all the while acting as naturally as possible.
chojiā€™s larger-than-life personality meant he pursued you with an earnest intensity. his eyes would light up every time you entered the room, glowing with delight every time everytime you paid him even an ounce of affection, and despite that, choji still wanted more. he wanted so much more. his affection was genuine and pure, devoid of any pretence. even togame couldnā€™t question the authenticity of chojiā€™s supposed affection for you. the boy was utterly smitten.
choji finds any and every way he can to approach you. and his efforts arenā€™t for naught, as even you could see the sparkles in the boyā€™s eyes, down to the way he would stare down at him without saying a word. perhaps creepy in any other instance, but it never felt that way to you.
a nervous yet friendly smile would frequently accompany chojiā€™s awkward attempts to get close to you. there was something just so endearing in chojiā€™s gazeā€”a kind of innocence and even childlike admiration that made your heart soften. he wasnā€™t just staring; he was taking in every detail of your face and expression as if trying to memorize your presence. his eyes, wide with wonder, held no malice nor ulterior motives, just a simple, unspoken, pure and honest adoration, all underlining his true sincerity.
HARUKA SAKURA + forced proximity
from when he was young, sakura has always distanced himself from people. he had never been one for social interactions, preferring the solitude of his own thoughts rather than the scrutiny of a crowd watching him, judging him. to him, his existence in their lives was a curse. only he deserved it, and only he would bear it. but when circumstances forced you into close quarters, his aloof and icy exterior began to thaw. the closeness of your body next to him, the warmness of your breath, made sakura uneasy, and yet, he didn't pull away.Ā 
initially, like with everyone else sakura ever connected with, he followed his usual pattern of what he knew to do bestā€”pushing you away. not just metaphorically but physically, shoving you to the ground when all you did was to try and lightly tap his shoulder. he had hurt you. this was what always happened without fail. but even still, you never went away, like a rather pesky mosquito.
during the unfortunate times when you were forced to share a small space with him, seeing first-hand the rare moments of openness he usually kept hidden, even from those who supposedly knew him bestā€”because no one actually did. the forced short proximity in the cramped quarters revealed an authentic side, all in the subtle ways he watched over you that your eyes slowly caught on to.
ā€œstay away from me. itā€™s better for both of us.ā€
time and time again, you would wonder and question why he continuously tried to gently push you away, but never to the point of truly physically shoving you away and hurting you. even so, sakura, still cared about you. that, he would never deceive.
ā€œno, itā€™s not, sakura. i told you, iā€™m not going anywhere.ā€Ā 
while it did hurt for him to say that about you when all you did was to be his heart, it hurt you, even more, to know that this was truly how he thought of himself to beā€”a ā€œpersonā€ who didnā€™t deserve love and affection.
ā€œ...i donā€™t need anyone. especially not you.ā€
ā€œ...maybe. but maybe you need someone who wonā€™t leave, no matter how hard you push.ā€
ā€œYOUā€™RE JUST GOING TO BE HURT WITH MEā€”ā€
you smiled. ā€œthen let me be the one to decide that for myself. right?"
no matter how many times he would push you away, despite his constant attempts to distance himself, you were never going to leave that easily, and perhaps sakura knew that his face flushing red. a small crack had formed in sakuraā€™s defences. you never thought that ā€œbeing stuckā€ with sakura was a curse, but a chance to see the true person behind the mask.
ENDO YAMADO + opposites attract
endo was your complete opposite in every conceivable way. his piercing, intense gaze was a contrast to your own vibrant, pastel, and borderline revolting energy, balancing each otherā€™s strengths and differences, light and shadow. rather than a mix of oil and water, it created a dynamic that neither of you could have predicted.
endo is more on the serious side. no, very much on the serious side, so your fun and excitement help him loosen up. to many, your contrasting qualities complemented each other, filling the gaps that the other lacked. some would say that your kindness filled the empathy that endo very much lacked, but regardless, endoā€™s initial skepticism turned into a fascination, and he found himself drawn to the very traits that set you apart from him. he finds it adorable when you do things he would never even dream of, like dancing in the rain, but he never particularly commented on them to keep his composure.
he admires your personality in a rather subtle, aloof way, although he would never say those words out loud. his pride is too great for that. youā€™re each otherā€™s comfort and sanctuary, finding things in each other you both never had. so strong, in fact, that your honey-coated words and presence can hardly push you away from him, and over time, endo lets you.
your contrasting qualities complemented each other, filling the gaps that the other lacked. anyone who even dares to threaten the solace of your company at your side, endo treats as a literal threat to himself.
after all, you were quite literally his other half.
ā€œyamaā€¦ why do you always act like you need to protect me?ā€
ā€œi donā€™t know what youā€™re talking about.ā€
you would give him a look that said, ā€œyou canā€™t fool me,ā€ and he would only tsk and whisk his head in the other direction.Ā 
youā€™re important to him, more than he can ever put into words. every glance, every small gesture, and every moment. endo doesnā€™t bother himself with the extravagance of affectionate words and grand declarations, but his actions go far beyond that. the second he notices something out of the ordinaryā€”specifically, that you werenā€™t at his side at that exact moment of the day like alwaysā€”he starts beating people up in a fit of rage. he goes berserk and sees red, and only when you arrive (after being frantically called in through your cellphone) does he finally calm down, asking you furiously where you were, with your shoulders being held in the grip of steel.
ā€œfuckā€¦ youā€™re such a troublesome person.ā€
he needs to protect you, endo thinks. youā€™re the total opposite of him. you were kind, docile, and gentle, you were like his other half. the opposite of him that he cherished. whoever hurt you meant that they had to deal with him too. no one hurts his lover and gets away with it. everyone in the area knew this fact.
perhaps, opposites do indeed attract.
KIRYU MITSUKI + the boy next doorĀ 
kiryu was the quintessential boy next door. he was a sweet neighbour and a total gentleman that everyone admired.Ā looking back at you and his first visit, it could have been more timely. as soon as the doorbell rang, your eyes would groggily open as you went to get the door to see who on earth was the person who disturbed your sweet nap. and as you opened the door, you saw a cute guy standing with a basket of miscellaneous goods in his hands. you almost thought you were still dreaming until you rubbed your tired eyes. ā€œ
ā€œiā€™m mitsuki kiryu, your new neighbour. i just moved into the house beside yours. i met your parents yesterday but you werenā€™t here, so i figured i should introduce myself personally since weā€™re the same age and all.ā€
startled, you were very visibly taken aback, ā€œo-oh, thank you. but, uh, shouldnā€™t i be the one giving you something?ā€ you said sheepishly.
ā€œoh, well, then you can always just give me something later!ā€ he replied with the brightest smile imaginable, making you sweatdrop.
ā€˜thatā€™s notā€¦ what i meant.ā€™
granted, your first impression of him was pretty unexpected, but he quickly proved to be a friendly person who truly had a heart of gold. you found yourself slowly falling for him after spending some time with him as a friendā€”his easy smile and warm eyes offering a sense of home.
but to find out that your life wasnā€™t the only one that changed, and that kiryu felt the same. as you grew older, so too did your friendship with the boy you first considered to be a mere neighbour. you were hardly even surprised when you heard that kiryu was a part of bofurinā€”a gang even you had come to admire. in a way, you werenā€™t surprised; it suited him and his upstanding moral compass. it didnā€™t, and never did, drive you away.
he was the boy next door, but also so much moreā€”your confidant, your partner in crime, and your love.
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Ā©hxnbi. comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated ā™”
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italktoomuchxd Ā· 6 days ago
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Simon grew up in a household where toys were a rarity, and his childhood playthings were limited to a few humble items. Among them were a set of small green plastic soldiers and a well-worn car, its tire long since worn and broken. However, what truly captured Simon's imagination was his sister's old porcelain doll, a treasured gift from their grandmother.
Oh, that doll! With its delicate white skin glowing softly in the light, plump red cheeks that seemed to blush with life, and bright blue eyeshadow that accentuated its striking blue eyes, the doll was enchanting. Its golden hair shimmered like spun sunlight, cascading in gentle curls, while a long, flowing blue dress adorned it, reminiscent of the elegant figures from a fairy tale.
Simon adored that doll, pouring all his affection into play, nurturing it as if it were truly alive. But his innocent joy came to a devastating end one fateful day when his father, in a fit of anger, hurled the precious doll against the wall. The shattering porcelain echoed through the room, marking the destruction of the most beloved object in Simon's world, leaving behind broken fragments and a heavy heartā€¦
You and Simon were still in the early stages of your relationship when you decided to invite him to spend Christmas at your home. The atmosphere felt cozy, just the two of you introverts nestled away in a familiar space. As he stepped through your front door, a bottle of wine cradled in his hand, you felt a mix of excitement and nerves fluttering in your stomach.
As he made his way toward the living room, the warm glow of the holiday decorations framed the scene perfectly. However, his gaze quickly fell upon a surprising sight that filled the corner of the roomā€”an array of supplies scattered about. The vibrant fake hair, a box of paints, assorted little fabrics, and the glinting edges of a sewing machine revealed a world that was uniquely yours.
ā€œOhā€¦sorryā€”it's my hobby,ā€ you said with a nervous chuckle, your cheeks warming under his scrutiny. ā€œI like restoring dolls.ā€
At that moment, you could see the intriguing spark in Simon's eyesā€¦he fell for you once moreā€”call it childhood trauma; he didn't care he'd spend Christmas night painting doll faces with you.
Part 2
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lewisvinga Ā· 10 months ago
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chemtrails over the country club | max verstappen x fem! reader
summary; nobodyā€™s son and nobodyā€™s daughter finally find peace with each other after the toughness of their childhood.
warnings; mentions of abusive parents, drinking, yelling
note; i play this song 10x a day tbh
word count; 953
taglist; @namgification
ā€˜born to dieā€™ series masterlist
f1 masterlist !
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It was no secret that Max Verstappen didnā€™t have a normal childhood.
On top of spending his childhood karting, his father was tough. He often never let young Max have fun or play football on Sundays, young Max had to spend all his time racing no matter the conditions.
He was a ticking time bomb. If he didnā€™t win a race, people made sure to steer clear of him. He had a short temper.
13 year old Max felt his heart stop for a second as he realized he finished 4th. Not even on the podium. He could already see the angry face of his father and his loud voice as he made its way out of the kart.
His fathers voice sounded like a snake hissing. It intimidated young Max. His father kept a tight grip on his shoulder that he was sure would bruise. He glances up at his father for him to say something, anything.
But all 13 year old Max received was a few words that broke his heart. ā€œYouā€™re not my son. Youā€™re not a Verstappen with that 4th.ā€
It was no secret that Max earned the nickname ā€˜Mad Maxā€™ as a result from his childhood. With the way his face turns red and the curses slips from his mouth, nobody wanted to be around when heā€™s angry.
So it was a shocker when people found out who he was dating. A walking ball of sunshine dressed in pink bows and white lace, y/n was the only one to tame ā€˜Mad Maxā€™. With her, Max didnā€™t seem to have to worry about disappointing her. She was always proud of him and she made sure he knew.
However, Y/n wasnā€™t always the ball of sunshine. Just like Max, she grew up with a toxic parent but it was her mother.
Being the oldest of 3, it meant it was up to her to take care of her siblings meanwhile her mother disappeared on Fridays just to come back black out drunk on Sunday nights. Having her childhood stripped from her made her into the bubbly person she was. Yet, her mother was still strict with her during her studies. Anything else but an A+ meant failure.
Y/n felt herself shake from fear as she walked down the sidewalk after stepping off the bus. In her backpack was a history exam with the letter B written in red. Her younger brother and sister ran in front of her with wide smiles while retelling their day in school.
Y/nā€™s eyes widened as she saw her mother standing at the front door. She knew that she had to give her the exam. Her siblings ran inside to their rooms to play with their toys while she stayed by the front door. With shaking hands, she pulls out the exam for her mother.
She could already smell the alcohol from her mother's mouth as she let out a deep sigh. ā€œYouā€™re not my daughter. My daughter wouldnā€™t cause me such disappointment.ā€
Their bond of having a tough childhood was what brought them together. They often spent nights sharing stories and relating to each other's experiences. With Max, she was able to let loose and enjoy herself.
There were moments when their past still affected them, much like during a snow day.
Y/n and Max were wearing big coats, tough boots, warm gloves, and everything else needed for a snow day. They sat on the steps of the front porch of the local country club they were a part of, watching the kids of other members laugh and play, something neither got to do.
ā€œMax, letā€™s go take a walk around.ā€ She suggested since it was the closest to being able to play in the snow in her mind.
The Dutch happily agreed and started ranting her about something as they made their way down the driveway. Y/n kept focusing on him and the crunch of the snow beneath her black boots. A small smile crept up her lips as she noticed her boyfriend was still distracted. She pauses for a second and he continues to walk and rant.
ā€œAnd then, I said-ā€œ Max pauses, noticing the lack of Y/n presence. ā€œLiefje?ā€ He questions and turns around to face her. Suddenly, his cheek was met with something cold.
Y/n lets out a gasp. ā€œThat was supposed to hit your back!ā€ She exclaims with wide eyes and a frown. ā€œIā€™m sorry! I meant to hit your back then you-ā€œ She was so distracted with rambling, that she didnā€™t notice him pack some snow into a ball.
Mid-ramble, she felt the ball hit her scarf-covered neck. Her previous frown quickly turned into a smile. Immediately both of them started to create snowballs and throw them at each other.
She suddenly sees him charging towards her. She lets out a squeal as she runs away. She ran around the snowy fields, not caring if the other adults were staring at them due to their childish behavior.
Suddenly, Max jumps in front of her and causes both of them to fall to the ground. She pushes him off of herself and he rolls to the side. They were both lying on their backs, taking deep breaths between laughter.
ā€œMax, look,ā€ Y/n says, pointing at a white line in the sky that was led by a small dot. It was a chemtrail, signifying that there was a plane. ā€œSurprised people are traveling now.ā€
ā€œYeah, thatā€™s ā€™cause itā€™s now snowing anymore.ā€ He explains, keeping his eye on the white line.
They fell into a comfortable silence as they lay in the pillowy white snow. They were once nobodyā€™s son and nobodyā€™s daughter. But now, Max and Y/n found the comfort they wanted in their lives as they lay in the snow, watching the chemtrails over the country club.
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theroyalyandere Ā· 2 years ago
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request: So what I am thinking about is Yandere princeƗ reader who is tge daughter of a merchant and his childhood bestie. They have a 5 year gap and when she turned 20,she was getting engaged. So he level ups lol. Its ok if you wanna write it in headcanon style or fiction style I just want to read a royal au (I am a sucker for it.) Can I please ask it to be a little longer your emperor one was really good so it being small had really made me thirsty šŸ¤’ and can you make it 18+ I mean yk šŸ‘€, obviously if you are comfortable. Thanks for reading all of my ramblings.
thank you for the request! :D
yandere!prince x merchant's daughter!reader (smutty 18+)
your father is a wealthy merchant close to the king and it makes sense that when you were born, you were presented at the court by the royal family's presence.
when yandere!prince first saw you he adored how a lovely baby you were and was eager to hold you. he treated you like a baby sister due to him being an only child.
you spent your childhood being at the palace mostly by the young prince's side with how compatible the both of you are.
even as a child he's very possessive of you, he does not want any children being at your proximity or anyone getting your attention away from him.
being the prince he is, you always follow his orders and in return spoiled by him.
a few years later, his platonic affections turned into romantic ones as he saw you blossom into a fine young woman.
he grew into a great prince while you were known to be the gentle and sweet girl always be his side.
he was 25 and you were 20.
he started to treat you like a lover would and it baffles you.
you tried to turn him down but he became even more affectionate when you ignore him.
you can't deny how handsome and charming he is that is making you grow flustered every minute you spend time with him.
he's known to being a gentleman when it comes to treating ladies with respect mostly showing them to you.
he's similar to how a dragon would hoard his treasure.
you're his happiness and he wouldn't want anyone or anything to take you away from him.
he treated you so well he doesn't even look at the other girls that were offered to him.
he isolates you from everyone else to the point his parents and your parents became concerned with the way he always hover around you.
when he found out your father engaged you to another noble he was angry.
you are his to claim and his to love and because of that he made a plan.
first he took you out like usual and then to the garden where you confided about your betrothal.
he feels his irritation rising with every word coming out of your mouth.
you told him that you heard some of the other girls how they got their virginity taken
which sparked your curiosity and made him grow even more hopeful on making his plan into action.
so he offered to teach you how to kiss and please a man.
you were quite reluctant but you were determined to be experienced so you agreed.
his first lesson was kissing.
at that moment he took your first kiss at the garden, he was extremely handsome and although you thought of him as an older brother with him being the only boy you spend your time with.
your kisses were clumsy but he taught you how to move you lips and tongue in accordance with his.
his kisses slowly became passionate and you have to stop him before your heart flies out of your chest.
you pull away from him breathlessly.
he chuckles at how you already look like a mess but you couldn't deny how it made you want for more.
so you pulled him close and told him to shut up and continue.
he smirks before diving back into kissing your soft lips.
he became even hungry and he also wanted more.
you couldn't forget the moment how he took you to his chambers where he undressed you and caressed your skin.
the way he gropes your body like he owns you.
he sucks deep harsh marks all over your skin and his hands roaming to appreciate your beauty. his sole focus was on you.
you whine at the marks he leaves your skin but he insists that its part of love making.
he looked at you with lust and passion behind his eyes his lips wet from the passionate kiss you both had shared.
he lovingly laid you down on his bed and took down his clothes revealing his glorious body.
he looked down at you as if you're the only treasure and the most beautiful thing on the world.
his intensity made you shy away making you hide your face into the sheets while you weakly slam your hand onto his chest.
he chuckles and he only kisses your cheek sweetly making you even more flustered so you told him to hurry up.
"my my~ so impatient."
he prepares you by spreading your pussy with his mouth and fingers, eating you out like a dessert.
you can't help but arch your body as he coaxes sounds out of you.
your body is only his to control and pleasure and you love every moment of it.
when you came on his tongue and came back up with him licking your wetness from his fingers.
you clench your thighs at the sight and this goes noticed by him.
"ready my dear?"
you nod and he slowly pushes into your wet untainted cavern.
the prince claimed you as his the moment his hard cock penetrated your wet pussy.
the moment he entered you he went feral at the feeling of your pussy enveloping his member.
he takes it slow until the pain subsides and the completely destroys you.
"fuck~ you take me so well my darling~"
he keeps pounding into you that you almost couldn't breathe.
your beloved prince doesn't dare to leave your pussy with the way it's clamping down on his cock.
he keeps fucking you until you orgasm intensely and he spills his hot load into your womb.
you immediately fall asleep after but he pulls out to watch cum leak out of your cunt.
he kisses your forehead whispering you did well and cleaned you up before cuddling you.
after that he was determined to cut off your engagement so he studied hard to the point of neglecting you but he apologized by sending gifts to your way.
with his harsh presence gone you saw how people gravitate to you and you became popular for who you are.
but you also noticed how some of the closest ones to you disappeared
you also met your future fiancƩ but in the back of your mind was your beloved prince.
time passes, days before your wedding the king suddenly fell dead and the prince was immediately coronated as king.
you watch him look at you within the crowd as he was hailed as the new king of the kingdom.
at the day of your wedding he was invited as an honored guest.
he watched your every movement and you felt his eyes staring holes at you.
he smiled for your sake but on the inside his anger is bubbling up especially the way your fiance now husband kissed you. he clenched his fist and clapped along everyone else, oblivious to the plan he was brewing.
at the reception, everyone was happy until your husband suddenly falls dead infront of you causing chaos.
the feast then became a funeral with the prince consoling you.
the next day, he offered to engage you to him infront of everyone even your parents.
your answer shall determine your fate.
A/n: the ending is kinda meh but I hope you like this!
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chheolie Ā· 3 months ago
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[šŸ©·] mingyu realized he had fallen in love, despite never having exchanged a single word with you
like a flash, you passed by mingyu, leaving in the air the unique and striking scent of jasmine and sandalwood, which made his heart race. your destination was a smiling seokmin, who stood with open arms, eager to hug you. finally, you nestled into your brother's embrace, one you hadn't felt in years. the warmth and firmness of his hug were like a safe harbor, and you felt a wave of relief and happiness.
because you and seokmin didn't share the same mother, various circumstances had made you grow up apart, but you always got along well, even from a distance. you and seokmin were alike in many ways. just like him, you were captivating. a mere sprint to your brother was enough to capture mingyu's heart.
of course, he knew of your existence. seokmin talked about you all the time, especially in recent weeks. but mingyu could never have imagined that someone with such an enchanting smile and captivating laugh existed.
"i know you guys already know, but, well, this is my sister," seokmin introduced you to the members who were there.
"hello, everyone," you responded shyly, with your bright, mesmerizing eyes ā€“ at least for mingyu.
"we're finally meeting y/n," seungkwan commented excitedly. you laughed softly.
"how was the flight?" your brother asked, gently pinching your cheeks, his smile stretching from ear to ear.
"it was fine, i slept the whole way," you replied, looking up to meet your brother's eyes.
mingyu couldn't take his eyes off you. every word that left your mouth, every gesture you made, seemed to enchant him even more. the shyness you displayed only made the experience more adorable in his eyes.
"do you have a lot of stories together?" hoshi asked, as curious as ever.
"actually, not many," you replied with a shy smile. "we grew up apart, so we didn't have many opportunities to make memories together. but i used to visit the grandparents often."
"i see," said seungkwan, interested. "and how is it finally being here with him now?"
"it's incredible," you responded, looking at seokmin with affection. "we've always gotten along well, even from a distance. now, being here in person is really special."
seokmin smiled, clearly happy to have you there. "now we can finally make new memories together."
mingyu watched everything, enchanted. he loved hearing your voice, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about your relationship with seokmin, the natural interaction between the two of you. he knew he was falling in love, even without having exchanged a direct word with you.
the other members continued to ask questions, each wanting to know more about you. mingyu was happy to stay in the background, absorbing everything. he felt blessed to hear your voice, to see your smiles and laughs. each moment made his heart beat a little faster.
as the evening progressed, seokmin suggested that everyone move to the living room to relax. the house of seokmin's paternal grandparents was cozy, full of memories and old stories. dark wooden furniture, soft rugs, and family pictures on the walls created a nostalgic and welcoming atmosphere. seokmin's grandmother appeared in the room with a tray of fresh cookies and a warm smile.
"these cookies are y/n's favorites," she announced proudly. "i made them especially for her."
"halmoni, you're the best!" you exclaimed, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite. "always the best cookies in the world!"
seokmin's grandfather entered the room next, carrying an old photo album.
"we have to show the childhood photos," he said enthusiastically. "y/n, you were the cutest child!"
you blushed slightly but accepted the album with a smile. sitting on the couch next to seokmin, you began to flip through the pages, showing the old photos.
"unfortunately, i don't have many pictures with seokmin since we grew up apart," you explained, showing some photos of you with the grandparents. "but i always loved visiting here and hearing their stories."
"there's one here that's one of my favorites," said the grandmother, pointing to a photo of you with a giant hat, laughing next to a cute cat. "she always did funny things like that."
"you and seokmin are alike in that aspect," added the grandfather, laughing. "always doing funny things and bringing joy to everyone."
everyone laughed at the photo, including mingyu, who was enchanted by every detail.
the night continued with many laughs and funny stories. mingyu watched you all the time, taken by your interaction with the elders in the house and the way you made everyone laugh. he knew he needed to find the courage to talk to you directly, but for now, he was content just to admire from afar.
the hours passed, and everyone felt at own house. in the center of the room, you, seungkwan, and seokmin danced with the grandparents, laughing and having fun. the music filled the atmosphere with joy and nostalgia, and everyone was delighted with the night's energy.
at one moment during the dance, while you twirled happily with the grandfather, your foot hit one of the photo albums on the floor. before you could realize it, you lost your balance and started to fall. luckily, mingyu had been watching your every move, and in the blink of an eye, he was by your side, holding you firmly.
"wow, careful!" mingyu said, with a worried smile. "are you okay?"
you looked at him, feeling the warmth of his hands on your arms, and smiled shyly. "yes, thank you, mingyu. i guess i got too excited."
seungkwan and seokmin, seeing the scene, started laughing, as did the grandparents. "always doing funny things, y/n!" seokmin joked, winking at you.
it was then that seokmin's grandmother, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, commented loudly: "y/n and mingyu make a beautiful couple, don't you think?" everyone in the room paused for a moment, and an immediate blush took over your faces. mingyu turned even redder when seokmin's grandmother asked, "mingyu, are you single?"
the room exploded in laughter and teasing while mingyu, embarrassed, tried to respond. "yes, i am single, halmoni."
"great!" said the grandmother, winking at you. "you two seem to get along very well."
you laughed, still feeling the heat in your cheeks, but something inside you knew that seokmin's grandmother might be right. mingyu smiled at you, and for a moment, it felt like only the two of you were in the room.
ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”ā—”
[šŸ©·] later i will post part 2, let me know if you want to be tagged.
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patscorner Ā· 8 months ago
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FAMILY DINNER
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Summary: Chris joins your family for dinner for the first time and it does not go as planned
Tw: Swearing, narcissistic dad, verbal arguing, panic attack mentions of alcohol use, mentions of ed(NO DETAIL), lmk if I missed something
______________________________
"Baby, it'll be fine. I'm sure they're not so bad." Chris spoke. It was 6:45, and you and Chris were heading to a family dinner. After you and him had started dating, him, his brothers, and your family have been begging to meet one another.
But you knew better. You knew your dad couldn't hold his tongue, and you knew your mom couldn't hold back her comments about how you sat, how you spoke, how you looked. You knew your brothers and your sisters knew how to mess with you, not enough to make you cry, but just enough to piss you off.
"Chris, you have no idea." You say, leg bouncing nervously as you both sat in the back seat of the van. You only agreed to go if Matt and Nick came with, knowing that Chris wasn't going to be able to keep his temper in check.
"Don't worry, y/n, it'll be okay. It's not like any of us are gonna provoke them. They don't have any reason to hate us." Matt chimed in from the drivers seat. Chris squeezed your thigh reassuringly.
"It's not you guys that I'm worried about." You muttered, biting your nails. You just hoped your dad didn't have much to drink tonight.
"Plus, we're youtubers, a little back handed comment isn't gonna affect us." Nick smiled triumphantly.
Boy, were they in for a treat.
____
After what felt like 2 minutes, Matt parked the car in front of your childhood home. You've dreaded this moment ever since you and Chris started dating. You knew the time would come, but you just ignored it and pushed it back as far as you could. But eventually, everyone became impatient, and you were pushed out of your comfort zone.
Chris wasn't prepared. None of them were because nothing could prepare them for what they were getting into. Growing up with 2 older brothers, a younger brother, and 2 younger sisters, you knew just how quick it could turn hostile. You knew how it could be peaceful one moment, and the next, 2 people are driving off, 3 are crying, and one is smashing plates.
It could get ugly quick. Mostly, you were able to hide most of your family troubles from Chris, only occasionally giving him bits and pieces. This was completely different. This was a full view of what and where you grew up, and if anything was off or revealed, Chris would be there to see. That scared the shit out of you.
And Chris knew that, so he didn't push, no matter how eager he was. He never pushed you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. This, though, meant a lot to him, so he did voice his opinion.
So here you were, standing outside of the home you grew up in, with your boyfriend and his triplet brothers. You take a deep breath before knocking.
Here we go.
You lean back into Chris, who's hand found home around your waist, squeezing gently. He kissed the crown of your head, whispering, "Relax, baby, we got this."
You nod as you hear the lock turn and the door open. Your oldest brother, Peter, who was 26, stood in front of you. He looked much different from the last time you'd seen him, which was like 2 years ago.
Last time you two were together was at Christmas when your dad decided to get plastered the morning of Christmas and destroyed everyone's presents. Thousands of dollars down the drain. You swallowed at the memory.
"C'mere kid." Was all Peter said before engulfing you into a long needed hug.
You melted into your brothers touch. "It's been too long. Way too long." You mumble against his chest.
When you pull away, you see tears in Peter's eyes. You slap his chest playfully, "Oh, you big baby, don't cry."
He laughs, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. You laugh and hold his hand.
Nick clears his throat, bringing your and Peter's attention to the three same face boys.
"Oh! Yeah, Peter, meet my boyfriend, Chris, and his older brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, moving out of the way for the men to exchange greetings and hand shakes.
"I'd like to apologize in advance, I'm definitely gonna have trouble telling you guys apart." Peter laughs.
"Oh, don't worry about it. It happens all the time." Matt reassures. Nick and Chris nod in agreement.
"Okay, well, Dad's at the store - thank God -" He interrupted himself, putting his hands together and looking up, earning a chuckle from you, "but everyone else, excluding Cam, is here."
Your heart drops at his sentence. Your second oldest brother, Cameron, hadn't been to a family gathering since he moved out. You can't say you blame him, knowing your family, you wish you'd had the heart to leave too. It was still disappointing, despite how much you understood. Cam and you had always been the closest growing up, and your heart ached, knowing the rest of your family ruined that bond for you two. You and him were only 2 years apart, him being 22, and you being 20.
You knew you shouldn't have expected him to magically appear, but you were hopeful.
"That's okay. Let's go inside, I want them to meet the rest of the dumbasses." You say, trying to hide the disappointment, and it mostly worked, but when you turned around, you knew Chris knew.
He always knew.
You smiled at him and grabbed his hand, leading him into your house, gesturing Matt and Nick to follow.
Peter leads everyone down the hallway, the sound of playful yelling sounding from the living room. Peter took a left, walking into the room, smiling widely.
"Guess who's here!" He says happily, turning around to you, who stands in the doorway, smiling widely.
James, Maya, and Julia, your younger siblings, looked up and smiled widely.
"Y/nnnn!" Maya yelled, getting up and hugging you tightly. "Woah! Hey, hi baby." You say, smiling into her head.
Maya was the youngest, at 11 years old. She was the peacemaker, no matter how demanding, she probably had the best communication skills out of everyone. Which is saying something, she's 11.
"Alright, alright, save some for us." You look up and see your youngest brother, James, standing next to Julia, waiting their turn for a hug.
You let go of Maya and walk over to the 15 year old twins and embrace them tightly. God, how you missed them. This hug was shorter, only because your mother spoke up.
"Well, finally! What took you guys so long?" She asked, rolling her eyes. You break the hug, sighing heavily.
"Hi, mom. I'm happy to see you, too. Uh, this is Chris and his triplet brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, lifting your hand, gesturing towards the three men.
You smile as your siblings exchange greetings with the triplets, just as Peter did, happy that they were in a good mood. You turn back to your mom, who has a strange look on her face.
"What?" You ask, confused, sitting down on the couch next to her. "I thought you were only bringing your boyfriend? Or are you dating all three?"
Your eyes shoot to hers, a look of disgust covering your face. "What-Mom, no! Matt's talking to someone and Nick..." You cut yourself off, debating whether or not telling you mom about Nick's sexuality. It's not that your mom was homophobic, she just wasn't exactly open to it. You knew that if you told her, she'd figure out a way to make an untimely and out of pocket comment about it.
"Nick...?" Your mom gestures you to continue speaking.
You open your mouth to speak, but you hear the front door open. Oh shit. The party has started.
"Dad's here!" Maya shouts, running to the door. Chris sat down on the couch next to you, Matt and Nick next to him.
You notice Nick talking to Julia about her favorite music artists, and it looks like their having a good time. Peter and Matt seem to be getting along, while Chris and James talk about the most recent Celtics game.
Despite all the calm conversations going on around you, you can't help but feel nervous. Your dad's here, which puts everyone, at least on your side, on high alert, making sure they tiptoe on their words.
Chris notices you tense up and place his hand on your thigh, which you reach and squeeze his hand, not for his sake, but for yours.
Your dad walks in and freezes for a moment. It was a long moment, long enough for everyone to notice his presence and get silent. You and him stare at each other, not breaking eye contact for a minute.
Finally, after the deafening silence, you decide to speak. "Hey, dad." You breathe.
His shocked face turns into a soft smile. "Hey, kiddo, c'mere." You smile softly, cherishing the peace while it lasts. You stand up and walk over to your dad and embrace him. You knew what he was capable of, but you also knew how much he loved you and your siblings.
You could be mad at him all you wanted, but he's still your dad. "I missed you, y/n." He mutters into your head. You smile into his chest because as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him too. When he wasn't drunk or being an ass, he was a pretty awesome person.
You pull away, and he kisses your cheek before gesturing to the audience behind you. "And who are these fine gentlemen?" He asked.
You smiled. "That one's Chris, my boyfriend, and those are his triplet brothers, Nick and Matt." You say, gesturing to the boys, who wave as their introduced.
"Nice to meet you all, especially you, Chris." He smiles sarcastically. Here we go.
Suddenly, his demeanor changed. His shoulders tensed, and his fist clenched. You look at him curiously and wonder what flipped the switch, what pissed him off this time.
Chris smiles kindly. "Nice to meet you, too, sir."
Your dad nods before glancing at you and looking up again. "Dinner should be ready. How's everyone feel about spaghetti?" He clapsed his hands together.
He earns a collective 'yes' from everyone before picking up Maya in his arms and carrying her to the kitchen. Everyone stands up and begins to follow, except for you and Chris. He grabs your hand and pulls you closer to him.
"You okay, ma?" He asked. He must've noticed your demeanor change from happy and cheery to suspicious and confusion.
You nod your head hesitantly, still thinking about how quickly your father changed his mind about being kind. "Uh... yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You say softly.
He looks at you curiously. "Are you sure?" You nod again. "Yeah, let's go eat."
____
Quiet chatter amongst the families began at the dinner table, after everybody had gotten food. You noticed your anxiety seemingly grow stronger as the dinner continued. Nothing had happened yet, and that's what scared you.
Your leg bounced under the table, and despite Chris's attempts to soothe you by rubbing your thigh, nothing seemed to work. Even Chris's touch seemed to be too much, too overwhelming.
You feel your breathing catch in your throat, and suddenly, the gentle chatter becomes too overwhelming. The scraping of the forks echoed loudly in your ears as your hands started to sweat.
You stand up abruptly, catching the attention of all three triplets and James.
"Excuse me." You muttered before rushing to the bathroom and closing the door.
You curl into a ball, breathing heavily as tears fall from your eyes. You weren't having a panic attack yet, but if you didn't get your breathing in check, you'd get one soon.
You list off things in your head, things that make you happy. Sunshine, Chris, dogs in clothes, Chris, Sour Patch Kids, Chris
Speaking of which, you hear the door open, and you force yourself to look up, seeing your loving boyfriend. He got down on your level, taking your hand and putting it on his chest.
You catch on quickly, taking breaths that match his, well, kinda. Yours are shakier, but you're getting there. "It's okay, baby, you're okay. Shhh.." Chris whispers, his other hand rubbing your back.
You sigh as you finally take a deep breath of air, leaning your head against Chris's shoulder as he hands rub shapes on your back.
"It's okay, baby, you're stressing yourself out. It'll be okay." He whispers as he stands up and pulls you up with him.
He embraces you once again as you sniffle into his hoodie. You pull back and wipe your face aggressively, laughing quietly.
Chris cups your face, wiping your tears before pressing a kiss so soft, it was almost ghostlike, on your lips. You smile at him.
"Thank you, baby." You say rubbing his bicep in appreciation. He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. "Of course, baby. I love you. Are you ready?"
You nod, and Chris opens the door, hand in yours as you all walk back into the dining room. Most conversations continued, but you noticed your dad and mom talking quietly amongst themselves, and it didn't look pleasant.
Your dad's eyes shoot to yours as he chuckles darkly.
Fuck. This can't end well.
"And what the fuck were you two doing?"
You smile, trying to swallow your fear. You notice Chris squeeze your hand, and you squeezed back in reassurance.
"Just had to take a breather. It's all good now, though, don't worry." You say as you and Chris sit down. You hope it's enough to satisfy your dad's curiosity, but unfortunately it's not.
"So you and him didn't just fuck in the bathroom." You freeze. Every conversation stops immediately at those words, as he wasn't quiet about it.
"What- dad, no. Why would you say that?" You sputter as a pink hue comes over your face. You glance at Chris, who's just as shocked as you.
"Sir, I'd never do that, especially here." Chris says calmly, but you can tell that one comment pissed him off completely.
Your dad stares at you both as a silence covers the room like a weighted blanket. Just when the tension seems to reach its peak, your dad speaks up.
"Good. Now, let's eat." He says, passing the food to you.
Jesus, this is gonna be a long night.
______________________________
Part 2 is coming soon.
@sturnioloblogs @y0urm4m @sturniolosmind @thenickgirl @muwapsturniolo @matthewsmocktailss-deactivated2 @breeloveschris @worldlxvlys @freshloveforthefit @miloisdone1 @vanteguccir @annamcdonalds67 @freshsturns @rootbeerworshiper @matty-bear @orangelala
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inzuinzudesu Ā· 13 days ago
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Please zoom in to see small Kakashi! šŸ˜­ He kinda disappeared šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Text translation: "Infinite Tsukuyomi" (ē„”限꜈čŖ­)
Drew these in mid-July - when I started doing digital again actually šŸ¤”
Took inspo from the Balut - a street food in my country; I hear a lot of people are grossed out by it?? Don't know if this is controversial, but I personally love the dish. Essentially grew up with it after all!
Wanted to draw something that feels a bit creepy but still has a sense of mysticality to it???
Meh, don't know if the feeling got across or not
I thought since Halloween is coming up, might as well post this haha
About the process of drawing these!
These were very fun to draw! I messed around a lot with photoshop to achieve this glowy dusty effect?? From the brushes to the blending options, and maaan the filter gallery šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ Such fun tools to play with.
The main brush I used to achieve the dusty effect is called "KYLE Bonus Chunky Charcoal", in the Kyle Dry Media brush set. If you can, I recommend checking it out! There are definitely other ways to achieve this sort of effect, though. You can probably just use some sort of scatter texture brush and it'd work just fine. Studying is all about trying things out, right? This is like my first experiment with this type of effect, and I was happy at the time. Now looking back, these could most definitely turn out better, no? I really went overboard with just the effect and forgot everything else. The blood and the plate looks horrible man. If you look closely, you can see the sketch lines haha! I got lazy!
Also, for Obito's pose, I relied heavily on a reference I found on pinterest šŸ˜­ I wish I'd changed the pose more tbh, it looks really boring.
And I gotta say, these just look underwhelming in this smaller size. Like reaaaaaally underwhelming. Would love to show you the big version, but oh well! šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Brain vomit time!
I love the prospect (??? is that the right word) of Obito being all god-like and powerful after Tsukuyomi, having control over everybody's dream worlds?? And like he jumps from dream to dream, but stops at Kakashi's and picks it apart???? Observing and tormenting Kakashi with his childhood form that has both sharingan???????
Kakashi would probably be confused with Obito's appearance at first, asking questions like "What are you up to this time, Obito?", but then wouldn't receive any answers??? Like little man would just stare at him creepily, and Kakashi would push this to the back of his mind for a while???
Umm below is the technical stuff, I guess??
My headcanon is that the time span in the dream world is the same as the real world. Meaning, 30 years in the dream world feel incredibly real, with no gap of memories. It's essentially a different timeline. Whether this makes sense or not, who knows haha!
Let's talk about the dream events and how they affect Kakashi! Due to Sakumo and team Minato still living, this Kakashi probably wouldn't be as lax nor sad as in canon?? The relationships and personalities would be different huh???? I'm having a headache thinking about this, so let's just say that: 1. Sakumo lived because the villagers weren't as harsh, but the animosity still remained. Kakashi still developed this obsession with rules, but he doesn't blame his dad as much. 2. Kannabi happened, Kakashi was given the sharingan, along with Obito's ninja way. Team Minato thought that Obito died for a while, but Obito is 'rescued' by Madara, same as canon. 3. Rin would still be targeted by Madara, but Obito came in time to help with the situation, blocking Kakashi's chidori from connecting with Rin's chest, but also knocking Kakashi away. Then, a Mist enemy took advantage of the situation to attack Kakashi, injuring him gravely, to the point where everybody thought he died. With this, Obito activated his Mangekyou and exploded on the Mist enemies, killing them all. Meanwhile, Rin tried to heal Kakashi, just barely saving him. As Obito had dealt with the enemies, there was no need to rush back to the village, and the Sanbi wouldn't be released till then. And so, they waited for Minato to come and help with Rin's seal. (About Obito's Mangekyou activating with Kakashi's death - would that be too far-fetched? My reasoning is that Obito would think that it was his fault Kakashi died, because it was Obito who knocked Kakashi away into the enemy, no?) 4. Because there's no one to become 'Madara' now that Obito came back to the village, Naruto is born, Minato and Kushina live.
5. The Uchiha massacre doesn't happen.
(Everything is incredibly convenient, because I don't have the brain power to make it otherwise, please help šŸ˜­šŸ˜­) -> In conclusion, this Kakashi resembles the Kakashi of the real world, but less depressed and self-destructive??? He loves his living comrades. My man still has a massive obsession (more like crush lol) with Obito by the way, just like in canon. He just doesn't show it.
-> About Obito of the dream world (I'mma call him Dreambito), he is all sunshine and brightness, but he exhibits some dark thoughts and deep rage from time to time due to the residual effects of Madara's seal on his heart. The seal has been removed though. And he has this obsession with Kakashi's safety, as he almost pushed him to his death once, albeit accidentally.
-> I was debating whether to just start this dream world at the point where Obito got crushed, or to start it at the beginning of Kakashi's life. In the end, I went with the latter, cuz ya know, I like the idea of Kakashi living through a whole life all over again, just to finally come to the realization that it's all a dream. Does that make any sense at all??
Obito (child form - 13) first appears in front of Kakashi at the start of the Naruto series, when Kakashi has officially become the teacher of team 7. (Let's not change this okay, my brain would fry haha I'm not gonna deny that the idea of Obito and Kakashi becoming co-teachers of team 7 isn't incredibly fun though)
After the first encounter with this child Obito, Kakashi begins to have flashes of memories from the real world, and he hallucinates about people's deaths - mostly about the members of team Minato. This young Obito is always in the corner of his vision, most of the time silent, sometimes saying things like "You trash" to Kakashi whenever he encounters Rin, who is whole and grown up in this world.
Kakashi exhibits more destructive behaviors as this goes on, the line between the dream events and the real events slowly blurring. He takes more dangerous solo missions out of the village, and shows strong signs of PTSD, just like in canon.
The two Obitos would contrast each other?? Like Dreambito would be all concerned with Kakashi's decline in health (both mental and physical) and goes to confront and comfort him, many times over because that's how it is with them??? Dreambito might even move in with Kakashi, being the obsessive and protective Uchiha that he is. Meanwhile young Obito would be an absolute asshole, saying all these horrible things to poison Kakashi's mind haha
At this point, Dreambito'd be in the last stage on the journey of becoming Hokage, gaining the all the trust from the Uchiha clan, the village elders and the villagers as a whole. I don't know about Rin, though? Should she be romantically involved with Dreambito or no? Would Kakashi dream that??
I think Kakashi's dream would somewhat focus more on Dreambito being happy and satisfied, to be honest. I know there's Sakumo and team Minato as a whole, but as a degenerate shipper, I love the obsession between themšŸ„ŗ
I don't think Obito would directly interfere with what Kakashi is dreaming about, i.e. changing Dreambito's behavior, or like the political situation of the villages (?). But he would most definitely insert himself in Kakashi's psyche, no? Mess it up real good.
Kakashi would slowly realize that he is living a dream world, after all the flashes of memories that Obito generates in his mind. He would most definitely deny it at first though, I think? And then it would reach a point where Kakashi remembers everything from the real world, but he has also lived through 30 something years of the dream world, meaning he'd be in his 60s?? Does that make sense or no?
And so, while Kakashi now knows that everything is a dream, his feelings for everybody in the dream are real. If that's the case, is it really that important anymore that he escapes the Tsukuyomi? Can this dream world really be called fake at this point? Is there even anything in the real world for him to return to?
What's to say 'the real world' isn't a dream at this point?
-> Kakashi would completely close in on himself after this. He still does things that he would normally do, but it'd be all an act. He would feel completely isolated.
-> Dreambito would notice and confront him again, now that they live in the same house??? Kakashi would like say everything is fine and try to act more convincingly, but Dreambito would still know something's wrong????
-> Obito is observing from afar, who knows what his motivation is at this point.
Because this is Kakashi's dream world, I suppose he would have the power to change this world to his will, now that he's aware? This is like a lucid dream situation???
The people in the dream have their own will up until this point, but Kakashi can somewhat change their behavior if he really wants to, whether it's subconsciously or not??? Example: He can probably will Dreambito to kiss him or something lol
So on and so forth!
Man, I'm having waaay too much fun imagining the pain. There are probably like a thousand things that doesn't make sense haha! I do wonder how this sort of storyline should end though, does anybody have any ideas? Personally, I prefer slow burn with a (sort of) happy ending, but ya know, angst all the way is good too! I can't write, but I love thinking about all the things that could happen šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ English isn't my first language, so this might have felt weird to read at some point haha
If anybody wants to develop this, please feel free to do so! And if you've read this far, thank you for reading this absolute brain vomit of mine! I love to yap, as you can tell haha Have a good day!
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poppedbubblgum Ā· 1 year ago
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Iā€™ve had this au in my brain for months now and only recently drew for it so Iā€™m here to add to the pile of rise aus haha
Itā€™s the standard separated au but my version B) - Donnie grew up with Splinter, Leo stayed with Draxum, Raph ended up at the battle nexus and Mikey was left to roam the streets of the Hidden City.
More info under the cut-
Donnie: The most mentally stable of the brothers somehow. He was raised in the sewers with splinter, and even though he did receive care, splinter still couldnā€™t really provide much in terms of affection. Despite that they still love each other, even if distantly. Heā€™s chronically online. He knows every vine ever and plays fps games a lot yes I made him a gamer. He and April are extremely close in this au, having met at a young age and April being the closest thing Donnie has to a sibling until finding his brothers. Splinter also refuses to tell Donnie anything to do with mutants/yokai, or even where they came from, much to Donnieā€™s dismay. Without his brothers and their antics, he doesnā€™t get out much, and hasnā€™t made a battle/protective shell for himself yet.
April: She and Donnie met in early childhood and were practically inseparable, them both being only children, and they basically became each otherā€™s annoying sibling. Sheā€™s the only reason Donnie came out of his shell (heh) and she likes to take him onto the surface streets for shenanigans.
Leo: Huguinn pulled Leo from the wreckage of Draxumā€™s lab and was raised in the rebuilt lab. Draxum genuinely didnā€™t expect the turtles to come out as literal infants after mutation so itā€™s a miracle Leo even survived this long lol. (Huguinn and Muninn did most of the work tbh) Draxum considers Leo to be a biproduct/fragment of a failed experiment and uses Leo more as an errand boy than anything else. Because of that Leoā€™s and Draxumā€™s relationship is also distant. Leo acts nonchalant and sarcastic for the most part, but he canā€™t help but want to please Draxum. Leo knows about his brothers and even tried looking for them early on, but eventually gave up. He and Donnie meet first. Also he sneaks out to get pizza at Huesoā€™s when heā€™s bored.
Raph: His and Mikeyā€™s stories start out intertwined. They both ended up in the hidden city and lived out the early years of their lives there. When he was around 7 years old, Mikey being 5, Raph was taken as a contestant for a battle royale at the nexus, composed entirely of young yokai. (The battle nexus is quite literally a gladiator ring where contestants kill one another) Raph was taken due to his large size, and after managing to survive the battle royale, Big Mama allowed him to stay and become a fully fledged fighter at the nexus. He moved his way up in rank and became one of the top Nexus champions under the stage name, The Beast. Heā€™s soft spoken and quick to anger at first, having received so little friendly interactions.
Mikey: He and Raph lived in the hidden city together until Raph was taken when he was around 5 years old. After that he was basically left to fend for himself. He survived via stealing and living on rooftops and alleys Aladdin style. Heā€™s incredibly agile and a master pickpocket. He even made a name for himself in the district where he lives as the local thief. This, however, hasnā€™t dampened his spirits at all and heā€™s just as bright and bubbly as ever. He loves anything and everything to do with art and often does graffiti wherever he can. Heā€™s an avid battle nexus fan and watches the battles whenever he can ( Leo is also a huge fan).
Iā€™ve legitimately had this au in my head for months and this isnā€™t even close to everything Iā€™ve conjured up but I had to make something for it or else Iā€™d explode. Despite there being a lot of room for angst in this au, I imagine it as more lighthearted and similar to the show in terms of comedy. If you read this far congrats and give me your strength please
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chilschuck Ā· 7 months ago
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Can i request for chilchuck react to reader who like to daydream and after he tell the reader he is married, the reader keep spacing out more often out of sadness and they also try to avoid interacting with him much so she can move on. But laios and the other think it's normal since she always avoid interacting with people ( the reader interact with chilchuck more after falling in love with him )
Do you think he will notice? (ą²„ļ¹ą²„) (ą²”ā€øą²”)
`āœ¦ Ė‘ Ö“Ö¶ š“‚ƒāŠ¹ WAHHHH ANON this is such a good concept and made my heart hurtā€¦ā€¦ i ended up adding some comfort to it because if youā€™re like me, you need it after reading angst!! :ā€)))
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ā€” OF COURSE: chilchuck x gn!reader.
ź’° warnings: ź’± sfw + hurt/comfort! might be a lil ooc, lol.
ź’° wc: ź’± 941
āœ¦ i hope this turned out okay!! i made it shorter than my other drabbles by accident but it felt good to end it where it did. i kind of changed the prompt a lil but only because i wanted to give you guys some love from chil still. (;;;w;;;) iā€™m honestly worried this turned out badā€¦. hhhhh. iā€™m so sorry if itā€™s not what you wanted. ;;; i still hope you enjoy!!! <333
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He knew something was wrong.
It wasnā€™t difficult to see that you had started avoiding him. Even your gaze refused to meet his own for longer than it had to. Your constant spacing out and stares at the floor said all he needed to hear: you were upset.
It only seemed to get worse when you overheard his talk about reconciling with his wife, any hope you had shattering into a thousand pieces in front of you. From then on, you didnā€™t smile unless you felt you had to. The thick silence you left in your wake was suffocating, and Chilchuck wasnā€™t sure how much more he could take.
The other members in the party took it as if you were being your usual spacey self, and didnā€™t draw any attention to the issue. This only made Chilchuck feel worse; he definitely noticed the change.
You used to hang back with Chilchuck and talk with him constantly, sharing little tidbits about yourselves or chatting mindlessly. Things seemed to come easily when it came to you... Too bad he only realized this now.
The smiles you gave him, the eyes full of affection, the lingering touchesā€¦ It stung that they were no longer a part of his everyday life. Instead, the sadness that ate at you only bled through to your face, into your actions, and into your silence. It was unfamiliar and unbearable at the same timeā€¦ Especially with the way youā€™d closed up further.
Chilchuck wasnā€™t stupid; he knew you harbored some sort of feelings for him. He wasnā€™t sure if that made this hurt more than it would otherwise. You were obviously distancing yourself from him, further proving his point that inner party relationships were trouble. Yet, there wasnā€™t any anger or resentment in his chest towards you. If anything, this was a misunderstanding between the two of you.
Calling your name, he approached you almost apprehensively. The recoil you gave made that familiar sharp pain in his chest reappear. Blurting out an excuse, you made your presence scarce. And just like that, you left him alone again.
Of course he noticed. If anything, he hoped that it was all some sort of miscommunication. Sure, he wanted to reconnect with his estranged wife, butā€¦ Thatā€™s what they were: estranged childhood sweethearts that grew apart. Along with their love, their relationship changed. Things werenā€™t something he could fix, and his old flame knew that too. But he hoped more than anything they could sort through their differences and still be at least friends.
Of course you didnā€™t know. There was no way for you to know, or have known his true intentions. Like everything else he tried to bury deep down, you were fading from his life. Chilchuck couldnā€™t seem to let this one go, to let you go.
So he chased after you. For once in his life, he decided to not swallow these feelings down. He knew there was only so much he could bury, only so much heā€™d want to bury. You didnā€™t deserve that, and he needed you to give him those smiles again. To give him those gazes full of adoration and those tender but fleeting touchesā€¦
You didnā€™t pull your hand out of his immediately. Instead, when he called your name again this time, you turned. Chilchuck swallowed.
ā€œWhy are you avoiding me?ā€
Surely there was a better thing to ask at this moment, but your lip quivered nonetheless. A deep sigh leaving you, your gaze met with the floor again.
ā€œā€¦So itā€™d stop hurting.ā€ Was all you replied, the weight of those words knocking the air out of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but you raised a hand to silence him.
ā€œThis is for the best... I hope you understand.ā€ Your voice used to never sound so broken. It was soft in a way that heā€™d never heard before. You had truly given up on this, and he canā€™t say he blames you. Heā€™d have given up on himself, too.
But he canā€™t let himself fall into that same cycle of self-pity. Not again, he assured himself, reaching up to grab a fist full of your top and pulling you down to meet his eyes. ā€œLet me explain this to you. Please. Iā€¦ Iā€™m not going back to her because of the reason you think.ā€ Chilchuck hadnā€™t heard himself this pleading in so long. He felt pitiful, and he suddenly remembered why he doesnā€™t like being vulnerable.
You couldnā€™t stop your head from nodding a yes to his request, that spark of hope trying to ignite once again in your chest. Trying to snuff it out, you waited patiently for him to continue.
And so he did. Baring it all to you, he decided this would be another step towards being more open with himself. Maybe youā€™d see him as pathetic for this, but he tried to piece the words together as congruent as possible. The feelings he had for her distinguished with the years spent apart and even some of the time spent together. This whole time heā€™s been sure that he just wanted to right the wrongs he did, and move on. Hopefully with you, when all this was over.
Of course you said yes. You listened, and with every word that left him, the flame within you rekindled. You werenā€™t sure what to say for a moment, besides giving a light laugh in relief. Even Chilchuck exhaled a brisk chuckle, scratching the back of his head in nervous habit. Heā€™s not sure he could ever get used to this whole ā€œtelling your true feelingsā€ thing.
But for you, heā€™d try.
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ā€” dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <333
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cannellee Ā· 8 months ago
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TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ā˜†
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ą­Øą­§ alpha! tokyorev x omega! reader (pairing : chifuyu, mitsuya, kokonoi)
ā€” them having feelings for their friend's sister
MY MASTERLIST: ā˜†
(I did take a LOT of inspiration from kokonoi and akane's story lol)
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ALPHA! CHIFUYU (takemichi's sister)
he met you coincidentally while dropping a bloody takemichi to your front door. never once did your brother mention you to his friend, so you can only imagine his surprise upon seeing a cute omega with sleepy eyes collecting takemichi in the dead of the night.
you handled your brother carelessly inside while mumbling a quick thank you to chifuyu, just wishing you could go back to your nest.
the next day, chifuyu brings up the topic carefully to takemichi, saying how he didn't know he had a sister. he tries to catch a few infos about you but he isn't that straightforward.
when takemichi and him grow even closer, he spends most of his time at your house so you become quite accustomed to his presence.
you weren't that please to have a foreign alpha at your place that often, but chifuyu has that warm personality and kind nature which makes it easier to break the ice. he often offers his help with trickier tasks, like pushing the furniture out of your way when you're cleaning or carrying heavy items and putting the trash out.
he didn't know it could feel this great to be reliable to someone but chifuyu does love it when you instinctively ask for his help now. he's more than happy to oblige.
he feels privileged to be able to approach you this intimately. it's all thanks to his friendship with takemichi that he can interact with you this often, and he makes sure to never take it for granted. he wants you to grow accustomed to him so he tries his best to be the less intimidating possible. when he crosses your doorstep, his throws out his gang speech and acts like a perfect gentleman.
he still gets heavily shy and embarrassed whenever he talks to you, so much to the point that it has become noticeable even to your oblivious brother.
as i said, chifuyu loves to help you out in diverse tasks. once you know each other better, he's following you around when you're out for groceries, insisting he carries your bags, all the while glaring at any alphas. you're not dating, but chifuyu has the hope that you'll let him court you. he's still trying to gather his courage, but with the support of takemichi who's sure chifuyu is a good person and can be a good alpha for you (he did lecture him about what would happen to his ass if he treated you poorly though), he's slowly getting more and more confident. just bear with him!
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Ā· Ā· ą­Øą­§ Ā· Ā·
ALPHA! MITSUYA (draken's sister)
mitsuya feels really conflicted about his growing crush on his childhood friend's sister. he knows you since the primary school and has watched over you kindly since then since you belonged to his close circle of loved ones.
his thoughts about you changed once you presented. you were cute before, but when your omega side started to show more, you grew even more attractive and endearing. mitsuya's own instincts reacted to you and began to manifest in a way that was definitely not a friendly fondness.
he tried to deny it at first, out of respect for draken who trusted him enough to approach his precious sister. most people didn't let outsiders this close to their omega family member. mitsuya didn't want to break that trust and decided to put some distance between you.
but it wasn't easy to just ignore your confused eyes whenever he would try and imagine a plausible excuse to escape your intoxicating scent. in the end, the affection was mutual so there was nothing he could really do.
still, mitsuya felt like he was taking advantage of you. he carried this guilty feeling because of how casually he would talk to you even though his mind was flooded with thoughts he shouldn't have about his best friend's sister. and you were so innocent, so willing to go along with anything he said. god he didn't know what to do.
whatever dilemma is going on in his head will eventually crush down. he has some insane self control, but if you do try to take it further yourself or confront him about his new behaviour, he'll stop immediately and admit his love.
he treats you so well! no matter when or where, he's all ears and have eyes always on you. he's very responsible so draken wouldn't actually mind if you guys ended up dating. still, regardless if mitsuya is his friend or not, draken himself is an alpha, so he's cautious at first and keeping an eye on the both of you. but he soon realises that his friend definitely is a good person through and through and that his worries that only manifested once mitsuya started to court you, are totally unjustified.
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ALPHA! KOKONOI (inupi's sister)
he's utterly obssessed with you since childhood. you guys basically grew up together, in the same neighbourhood. he would always come over to your house as he was shameless about his attraction for you.
that's why both you and inupi know it all about his little crush, that's no secret for anybody. but none of you expected for his love to only get more serious as time passed.
ever since you're kids, even when he hasn't presented yet, he was trying his best to act reliable and strong for you. he doesn't show weakness and made thousands of promises to you. he's very romantic.
growing up, his love doesn't lessen and you start to take him seriously. he's still straightforward with his own feelings for you and acts as your protective friend for as long as you let him. most people would assume you're dating but you're not actually.
you somehow build this reassuring dynamic where kokonoi watches over you like an alpha would with his omega, but none of you admit you like the other. he's asking about your day, tells you about the people he has talked with today, worries if you ate and slept well and makes sure nobody's bothering you.
kokonoi is deeply committed to the process of him making you fall in love with him. he gives you gifts and tries to make everything as memorable as possible. he does sometimes go a little further and tests the water by offering you little collars, nest items and other really intimate stuff made to claim.
inupi sees everything from the sidelines and actually finds the both of you silly. but strangely it's heartwarming to see his best friend struggle so much to win you over.
he's fine with whatever the outcome may be. he sees how kokonoi is sweet and delicate with you and he knows he'll make a great partner. it does feel weird that his friend is courting his sister but he gets over it eventually.
kokonoi didn't even have to get the approval of your brother as he made it clear since childhood that he was definitely not ready to give up on you. it was something evident in inupi's mind that kokonoi's persistence would eventually triumph.
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oldsoul007 Ā· 15 days ago
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FwB
nicholas chavez x childhood bestfriend!reader
warning: kissing
Me and Nicholas had been inseparable since we were kids. Growing up in the same neighborhood, we shared countless adventures, secrets, and dreams. Our bond was unbreakable, and as we grew older, our friendship evolved into something deeper.
One summer evening, after a long day of reminiscing and laughter, we found themselves in a moment of vulnerability. The lines between friendship and something more began to blur, and we became friends with benefits. It was an unspoken agreement, a way to explore our feelings without risking their cherished friendship. No strings attached.
Nicholas, however, began to realize that his feelings for y/n were far more profound than he had ever admitted to himself.
One night as I finally finished up some work I get a text from Nicholas saying heā€™s coming over. Which initially means he needs to blow off some steam. I hear the knock at the door and open it up to Nicholas pulling me in for a heated kiss. He pushes me farther into my apartment kicking the door closed. We continue walking back him taking my shirt off as we reach my room. He kisses down my neck sending shivers down my spine. ā€œGod I love youā€ Nicholas groans as he continues kissing down my neck.
I blank for a moment checking if I just heard what I think I did. ā€œWhatā€ ā€œI love youā€ he repeats. ā€œNicholasā€ I say trying to get him to stop even though I didnā€™t want to. ā€œNicholas stopā€ he stops immediately looking up at me. ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ ā€œWe promisedā€¦we promised no strings attached Nicā€¦ā€ I say not daring to look him in the eyes.
Taking a deep breath, Nicholas confessed, "I love you, y/n. You canā€™t deny you donā€™t feel the same way. I know we've always been best friends, and I cherish that more than anything. But my feelings have grown into something much deeper. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with just being friends with benefits. I want more. I want us to be together, truly together. I can't keep pretending that this is just casual for me."
My eyes widened, and i shook my head. "Nicholas, we agreed this was just for fun. I can'tā€”"
"Why not?" Nicholas interrupted, frustration evident in his tone. "Why can't you let me love you? Why are you so afraid of this?"
I looked away, struggling to find the right words. "It's not that simple. I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."
Nicholas stood up, pacing the room. "I don't understand, y/n. We've been so close, shared so much. Why can't you see that we could be amazing together?"
Tears welled up in my eyes. "I'm scared, Nicholas. I'm scared of getting hurt, of losing what we have."
Nicholas stopped and faced me, his expression a mix of anger and pain. "So you'd rather keep me at arm's length than take a chance on something real?"
My silence spoke volumes. Nicholas sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I just want you to know that my feelings are real. And I can't keep doing this if you don't feel the same."
With that, he turned and walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the heavy weight of my own fears.
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As sat on my bed, staring at my phone. Nicholas's words from our heated last conversation echoed in my mind.
I had been taken aback by his confession, unsure of how to respond at the moment. But now, as I replayed our moments togetherā€”the laughter, the support, the way he looked at me with genuine affectionā€”I realized my feelings had grown deeper too.
Determined, I grabbed my coat and headed to Nicholas's apartment. When he opened the door, surprise flashed across his face.
"Y/n, what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.
I took a deep breath, my heart pounding. "Nicholas, I've been thinking a lot about what you said. And I realize now that I want more too. I don't want to just be friends with benefits anymore. I want to be with you."
Nicholas's eyes softened, and a smile slowly spread across his face. "Are you sure, y/n?"
I nodded, stepping closer. "I've never been more sure of anything. You've always been there for me, and I can't imagine my life without you."
He pulled me into a soft kiss and embrace, holding me tightly. "I've waited so long to hear you say that."
ļæ¼
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itsgreti Ā· 5 months ago
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DRUNK CONFESSIONS
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pairing. james beaufort x f!reader
summary. (Y/N) and james have been best friends since childhood, but a drunken confession at a party reveals (Y/N)'s hidden feelings for him.
warning. alcohol consumption
word count. 1k
a/n: english is my second language, so if you find any mistakes, don't hesitate and text me!
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(Y/N) and James Beaufort had been inseparable since they were children, growing up side by side. Lydia, James's energetic sister, was the third musketeer in their trio. They were inseparable, their laughter echoing through the halls of the Beaufort estate daily. Their families, long-time friends with a history that stretched back generations, only strengthened their bond, gathering together for holiday celebrations, or Sunday picnics.
As they grew older, (Y/N)'s feelings for James deepened. She found herself captivated by his character and stared longer at him than she should have. However, she didnā€™t dare to tell it aloud, fearing it could affect their friendship. And so, she buried her feelings deep within her heart.
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One evening, one of their friends throws a party after the exam period, inviting the whole of Maxton Hall. (Y/N) decided to release the stress and she soon found herself consumed by a heavy amount of alcohol, blurring the edges of her consciousness. Darting from one group to another, she lost track of time as she danced and mingled with the crowd, her laughter ringing out in joy.
Throughout the evening, James kept a watchful eye on (Y/N), his protective instincts kicking in as he noticed her growing intoxicated state. He made sure to stay close, subtly guiding her away from the masses and ensuring she always had a glass of water nearby. Now and then, he would catch her eye from across the room, offering her a reassuring smile.
But James soon realised her dizziness coming too far and gently supported (Y/N) as she swayed slightly on her feet.
"Whoa there," he chuckled softly, steadying her with a firm grip on her arm. "I think you've had enough for today."
(Y/N) giggled, the sound tinged with a hint of mischief as she leaned against him for support. "Nonsense," she protested playfully. "I could drink a whole barrel and still be standing!"
James chuckled, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "I highly doubt that," he teased, he guided her gently to the waiting car with Percy, the Beaufort twins' loyal chauffeur, at the wheel. "Let's get you home before you decide to put that theory to the test."
Holding (Y/N)'s dozy form in his arms, James whispered comforting words of reassurance as Percy navigated the winding roads home.
Once inside the (Y/L/N) residence, James led (Y/N) through the grand hallway, her steps uncertain with each stumble. With tender care, he guided her to the comfort of her room, his heart heavy with unspoken words.
But as he turned to leave, (Y/N)'s voice pierced the silence, her words slurred by the haze of drunkenness. "James," she whispered, her eyes clouded with tears. "I... I have something to tell you."
James froze, his heart pounding in his chest as he turned to face her, his gaze locking with hers in a moment of raw vulnerability.
"What is it, (Y/N)? Are you alright?" he asked softly, his voice barely a whisper in the stillness of the night.
Tears spilt from (Y/N)'s eyes as she stumbled over her words, her confession tumbling out in a murmur of drunken desperation. "I... I have feelings for you, James," she admitted, her voice trembling with emotion. "I've been feeling this way for a while now..."
James's heart clenched with a mixture of longing and regret. James's feelings for (Y/N) were a symphony of emotions, admiration, and a love that had quietly taken root in the depths of his soul, just like she did. From the earliest days of their friendship, he found himself drawn to her infectious laughter and the way her presence brought light and warmth into his life.
But instead of succumbing to the temptation of the moment, James took a step back, his hands trembling with restraint. "Oh, (Y/N)," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "You don't know how much I wish..." But before he let himself finish his sentence, he refused to take advantage of the defencelessness of his best friend. "(Y/N), you donā€™t know what are you talking about. Go and sleep it off."
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The next morning dawned with the harsh light of reality, (Y/N) waking to the dull ache of a pounding headache and the sharp pang of regret. She found herself suffocated with a sense of shame, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the memory of her drunken confession to James.
Avoiding him became her sole mission, her footsteps quickening whenever she caught sight of his familiar figure in the school hallways. But fate, it seemed, had other plans. One fateful afternoon, as (Y/N) hurried around a corner, her heart leapt into her throat as she collided with James, her books scattered across the floor in a chaotic symphony of clattering pages. As she looked up, her eyes widened, she found James gazing down at her with a gentle smile, his outstretched hand offering her help. Once they stood up, (Y/N) met with his eyes for the first time in a long time.
"(Y/N)," he greeted softly, his eyes searching hers.
"James, I..." she began, her voice trembling with regret. "I'm so sorry about the night. I didn't mean to-"
Before she could finish her apology, James stepped forward, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek. Her heart pounding in her chest. "Shh," he whispered, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her veins. "You have nothing to apologize for."
"But I-"
James silenced her with a gentle kiss, his lips tender against hers. At that moment, the world fell away, leaving only the two of them suspended in a bubble of warmth and affection.
When they finally parted, (Y/N) gazed up at him, her eyes wide with wonder. "James, I... I didn't know..."
He smiled a softness in his gaze that melted her heart. "You don't have to say anything, (Y/N)," he murmured. "I've felt the same way for a long time."
Tears welled in (Y/N)'s eyes, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. "I never imagined..."
James brushed away her tears with a gentle thumb. "Sometimes, the best things in life are the ones we least expect," he said, his voice filled with quiet certainty.
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