#and is in overdrive and a lot so ummm yeah ..

[cherrylight]

hi everyone i miss dave. i need to attack him. i also have some ideas for my selfship with him yay! maybe lore.... maybe?? :o ...

[ijustloveharry]

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? / 4.2k words / pt 4

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It had been nine months since they officially broke up.

Their breakup wasn't public, but people figured it out when they weren't really seen together. And Harry's new album told the world what they had already anticipated.

Y/N's heart was still sore, but the hole in her chest had lessened and she learned how to have fun again.

She took the job in Australia, and was relieved to find out she wasn't as recognizable there as she was in America. Her name still came up online, but I guess people didn't expect her to be here so they didn't approach her the same way they did in LA. She was grateful.

"Guess what I got?" Her roommate, Malika, sung as she sat across the table.

"Chlamydia?" Y/N joked

"In college, yeah, but not today" Malika retorted, pulling a slip from her back pocket "I got us a treat"

Y/N's eyes lit up.

She could use a treat. She had been working a lot, and very hard. People out here were much more intense than her, and after taking a year off of school, she was a bit rusty compared to her colleagues. She caught on quick; she was resourceful and knew her stuff, but she felt like she had been working in overdrive to meet deadlines. She needed a break.

"What kind of treat?" Y/N pryed. She really hoped it wasn't work related.

"Well, not to be weird, or anything, but I hear you blaring Harry Styles across the hall every so often." Y/N swore the colour drained from her face at the mention of his name. "And he's performing in Sydney next week! This guy I'm seeing knows a guy who knows a guy.. and I was able to get us tickets to go on Thursday!"

Y/N felt bad that she couldn't feign more excitement. She didn't know how to break it to her.

"Jeez - tough crowd." Malika caught on "Guilty pleasure? Is he not really your fav?"

Y/N smiled sheepishly, and pulled the tickets from her friends hands.

"No - yeah. That's great. Sure, we can go."

She could admit she hadn't thought of him much these days. She had been so busy and hadn't relistened to his new album in a couple of months. When it came out in May she listened to it almost too much, sobbing to the steady stream of songs that were undeniably about her, and once the heartbreak subsided she hadn't found much reason to listen to it again.

"I don't know many of his new songs. 'As it Was', of course, but most of the others are gonna be unfamiliar to me" Malika said, taking the tickets back "If it sucks we can definitely leave early"

Y/N knew it wouldn't suck. If Harry was one thing, it was a good performer. She wondered how long she could get away with concealing the fact that she knew him. Hopefully forever.

Thursday came quickly, and Y/N's nerves were heightened but she just pushed through.

"Ummm okay, great seats." Malika boasted. They weren't that great, Y/N had seen many shows from a lot closer, but she kept that to herself.

"Best seats in the house" She lied.

Y/N was self conscious. She spent hours deciding what to wear and ended up just buying a whole new outfit. Nothing crazy - she wore some flared jeans and a white crop top. She felt comfortable but still dressed to impress. She was satisfied.

The concert was great. Nothing made Harry more attractive than when he was dancing around on stage. His stylist was getting more ambitious and so was he - and Y/N's heart ached listening to the series of songs she had spent so long crying in the bathtub to. She tried to not let it affect her.

The night went quickly and she was happy that no one seemed to recognize her or come up to them. They left shortly after the show and that was that. Y/N figured this was good closure and she was happy that being there didn't seem too weird. He didn't know she was there - and she was going to keep it that way. This is what she told herself, anyway.

The next day, though, she realized she didn't get out of there without getting caught.

"Ummm???? you didn't tell me you fucking DATED him?" Malika furrowed her eyebrows as she shoved her phone into Y/N's face. Of course she was going to be photographed at the concert; of course his fans would recognize who she was.

"Yeah." She admitted. What else was she supposed to say?

"Well? Want to elaborate, or?"

Y/N shrugged. Why couldn't her friend just goggle her name like everyone else?

Malika tapped her foot, patiently waiting for her friend to give her any further information.

Y/N sighed and filled her in, and she was grateful that Malika was, 100%, on her side.

"Well I can't believe you didn't tell me, but I'm glad you broke it off. Dating someone famous seems like a lot of work."

She shrugged. It was. But Y/N had to admit she hadn't thought about anything other than Harry since the show the night before. He was so charismatic and she missed the way he made her laugh. He was never himself like when he was on stage.

Before she could reply, her phone began to ring. Face up in front of them, Harry's contact popped up onto the screen. She let it ring for a moment, debating whether or not to even answer. Before Y/N knew it, Malika smirked, taking it upon herself to pick it up.

"Hi, this is Y/N's phone. Who is this?" Malika answered, she placed it on speaker. Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Oh - uh, this is Harry. I was hoping I could speak to Y/N, if she's available..."

"Mhmm" Malika ruffled her papers, pretending to be flipping through god knows what. "She's a very busy woman, who was this again? Harry... Harry... Harry who?"

"Harry Styles" She could tell he was clenching his teeth. She wondered if it was because he was nervous or because he was frustrated. Maybe both.

"I don't have a Harry Styles on the dial through list. Could I take a message? Get her to call you back?"

Y/N gave her a look, and Malika put up a finger pleading her to wait.

"Of course, yeah. Yeah. Um, can you just tell her I would love to chat? Maybe go for lunch? I'm only in Sydney for two more days but I was hoping I could maybe see her...."

"Sure, I can pass that along." Malika paused for a moment. "Anything else?"

"Uh - yeah. Um, how is she?'

Y/N was reaching for the phone now, to Malika's dismay.

"Oh! She's just walked in, You can ask her yourself, please hold."

Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend, sucking in a breath before connecting the line, turning it off speaker in the process.

"Hi Harry." She said sheepishly

"Hey" He let out a breath "How are you?"

"I'm okay - yeah, been good. I decided to go for that job here in Sydney. We head out to Cairns every few weeks and, yeah it's been really good."

She paused for a moment

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. Touring, you know, the usual." They were silent for a moment.

"I saw you came to the show last night." He paused "Did you enjoy it?"

"Of course I did, Harry." She smiled at his modesty. "You always put on a good show."

"Thanks." She could tell he was smiling "One of my best ones, I reckon. Almost like I knew you were there."

Almost, she thought.

"You should've texted, could've got you free tickets or somethin - saw you after the show'"

"My friend surprised me with them, actually"

"Oh" He didn't know what to make of that. "Well I'm really glad you came. I've, uh, missed you."

"Yeah - of course. I miss you too. I loved the new album too, by the way."

She cursed herself at how awkward this was. What was she supposed to say?

"Thanks, I had some pretty good inspiration"

She smiled to herself

"Yeah"

"Well uh - I'm in town for a few more nights. I was hoping I could see you, maybe? Catch up a bit. If you're free! I know you're pretty busy and stuff-"

"Never too busy for you." She admitted. She cursed the butterflies in her stomach. "I'd like that, when were you thinking?"

"Tomorrow? For lunch - if you're free. I can send a car."

"Sounds good. I'll text you my address."

"Okay." He sounded satisfied "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you then." She bit her lip. Malika was looking at her with her eyebrows raised.

"Can't wait."

~~~~

If Y/N thought she had a hard time picking an outfit for the concert, she was in for a rude awakening. She had tried on everything she owned and nothing seemed appropriate for a 'private lunch date with former celebrity boyfriend'.

Malika had never been more invested in anything than this. It didn't take her long to realize that while Y/N should want nothing to do with him, she was clearly still interested and Malika was going to make sure Y/N took the chance while it was in front of her. She had never seen Y/N even remotely interested in someone, and after looking them up online she understood that Y/N had been downplaying her relationship with the celebrity. Y/N needed a life. She needed excitement; and this was the first time Malika had seen her even remotely nervous for something.

"Ugh - stop" Malika demanded. "One sec."

Y/N waited for her friend to return, nervously biting the corner of her lip as her mind raced.

The cargo pants Malika let her borrow were perfect. They were loose enough that she felt comfortable but fit her waist perfectly. She made a mental note to go shopping and get a few outfits, since she clearly hated all her own clothes.

"Lookin good." Malika grinned. Y/N decided to give up on the thought of doing her hair and just let it fall naturally. She needed to stop worrying. She would be fine.

"Thanks." Y/N said, rubbing her palms onto the front of the pants "Is it too late for me to cancel?"

Y/N was nervous. She had no idea was to expect from this lunch - were they just going to catch up? It had been almost a year since she had seen him last, and she had changed so much that she wondered if he would be different too. She suddenly felt she was being irrational and shouldn't have let Malika answer the phone in the first place.

"Yes it is." Malika rolled her eyes "You're going."

Y/N wasn't sure what she wanted out of this, and that was her issue. She had finally moved on, and she was just going to open back up the very thing that tore her apart to begin with?

"You're over analyzing." Malika said softly "Just go to the fuckin' lunch, and if it doesn't feel right just be honest and don't do it again."

Y/N nodded at her friend. She still wasn't convinced, but she wasn't going to argue with her.

"Just remember he's a dirty cheater and you're allowed to take this as closure. If that's what you want."

"Thanks."

Malika was right. She didn't have to put any pressure on this - maybe Harry was feeling the same. Maybe this wasn't going to be anything other than a quick lunch from the past. She decided to just go in not expecting anything, it was safer that way.

Checking the time, she decided to head outside as the car should be there soon.

"Ms L/N?" The driver asked, pulling up to the curb.

Y/N let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Is this a mistake?

"Yes." She smiled, climbing into the back seat. "Now, where are we going?"

"Surprise." The driver said knowingly. "Bit of a drive so please make yourself comfortable."

Harry had been frantic from the moment he got off the phone with her. He needed this to be good - really good. If it didn't go well he knew he would never see her again, and he was determined to stop that from happening.

She came the show. He reminded himself. She wants to see him, or she simply wouldn't have come.

She didn't tell you she was coming, though. He thought. He brushed it away. It doesn't matter. She still came.

Harry had planned something good. They were going to a seafood restaurant, one with a glass floor so you could see fish and sharks swimming below your table. He had only been there once but he remembered thinking she would love it. He never had the chance to take her before so he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass this time.

It was a bit outside of Sydney. He probably shouldn't have committed to going so far from the venue but honestly, he would've cancelled tonight's show if she had only been available for dinner. They're lucky she was good for lunch - he stopped worrying about that.

He opted to going there early, he had rented out the main floor so he knew they wouldn't be bothered. He didn't want to risk anyone coming over and bringing up their past, so it seemed easier this way.

Harry was nervous. He didn't know what to expect, and even worse, he didn't know what she was expecting. He had missed her a lot, anf he would get back together with her in an instant if that's what she wanted. But he didn't want to pressure her. He just wanted to see her and was relieved she had accepted the invite.

She came to the show. He reminded himself. She said yes to lunch. She wants to see you.

Harry repeated those thoughts a few more times before heading out. He decided to drive himself, hoping that maybe she would want a lift home after and they could spend the drive back together.

No pressure. No expectations. Whatever happens.

Harry breathed out, starting the car and making the drive. He couldn't think of anything other than her the entire ride there.

Y/N was starting to get antsy, alone in the backseat with just her thoughts. It was further than she expected, which would be okay if she was even a bit familiar with the roads in Australia. She didn't even know what direction they were headed.

Eventually they hit the ocean, and she regained a bit of familiarity. At least they're on the coast; she loved to be near the ocean and immediately took comfort as she watched the waves in the horizon. She wondered if Harry remembered that or if he had someone else make the reservation.

It was a short ride after that, the driver stopping outside a small building on the edge of the beach. She thanked him and climbed out - taking a look at the small restaurant. There were no other cars around and minimal people along the beach.

Y/N was relieved for the privacy and made her way inside.

There were few employees, but they were expecting her and ushered her to the table promptly. Y/N didn't even have time to register who was around, her eyes glued to the glass floor. There were fish swimming beneath her - sea turtles and bass and a few more she didn't see long enough to properly identify. She couldn't stop herself from smiling widely.

"Hi." Harry greeted, standing as she arrived at a table right in the middle.

"Hi" She repeated, biting her lip. Y/N didn't know what to expect but it sure as shit wasn't this.

"You look great" He smiled. She felt underdressed compared to him but that was okay. Better to be underdressed than overdressed.

"This is so fucking cool." She gushed, squatting down to look at the aquarium beneath them. "Like really cool"

"Yeah - I came here for a work thing a few years ago and thought you might like it. I ordered a bottle of wine but you can get whatever."

Y/N nodded, looking back at Harry. She took her seat and he sat back down in front of her.

"Wine is good." She said, and Harry smiled. She was just as he remembered.

"How are things? Are you enjoying Australia?"

Y/N bit her lip again, eyes darting between the man across from her and the water just inches below them.

"So far so good." She smiled, flipping the wine glass right side up. "People are nice here."

"Nice people attract nice people." He said, pouring some wine into her glass. "I'm doing a few shows so it's been cool to stay here for more than just one or two nights"

Y/N nodded, taking a sip of the wine. It was very good, not that she was surprised. It probably costed more than her rent.

"Yeah it took me awhile to adjust to the time difference but I think once I finally settled into that, things just sorta went up from there."

"Good. I'm still struggling with the jet lag." He admitted, pouring himself a glass "But I definitely can't complain."

Y/N nodded again. It was definitely less awkward seeing him in person than the phone call they had the day before.

"So." He started, looking at her expectingly "Tell me about your work"

So she did. She told him about the job and the people - and the cool things she had seen since coming here. She was able to see some species she had only looked at in textbooks and was happy to talk about the experiences she'd had so far.

Harry nodded along, listening intently. He kept up even though she used the scientific names that went right over his head. He admired how smart she was and was relieved when he found out she had taken the job after all. She deserved it and he was happy she came to that realization after they split up. She didn't need anyone and the confidence looked good on her.

Y/N talked about fish for awhile. She talked about seeing sharks when she scuba dived and the nice family from France that just about shit when they saw it swimming near them. Y/N wasn't scared, though, and told him how proud of herself she was for taking risks she didn't know she was capable of.

"Congrats on the number one, by the way." Y/N complimented, turning the conversation towards him. Harry shrugged. He didn't care about commercial success but was happy to have the label ease off since the album was doing well. He knew she was aware of what he had written about so he didn't delve much further.

"Seriously - I hear it everywhere. Drove me crazy the first month or so but now I just smile everytime I go into a store and they're blaring it." She said

"Thanks, yeah. I almost didn't want it to be the lead single but I knew it was one of the best songs."

Harry was more or less the same as the last time Y/N saw him. His hair was a bit longer, not much but the extra inch or so looked good on him. He was dressed different - but she kind of liked it. He seemed more comfortable than she had ever seen him before. She was happy for him.

"I filmed another movie" He shared "Think it'll be my last one for a bit, though. Was a lot more work this time around."

"I can't wait to see it." She admitted. She had seen the last two films he was in and he did great. It was weird to see him pretending to be someone else, but she was proud that he stepped out of his comfort zone. He needs that - everybody needs that.

"It's not the same without you, though." He said, and she looked at him puzzled.

"What's not?'

"Touring - travelling, I dunno. Life I guess. My life. It's been a long time since I was out on the road without any reasons to go back."

Harry had gone back to LA everytime he was off. He didn't call her, or go to her house or anything crazy. He just felt a kind of comfort being 'home'. He chuckled at how many times he felt close to her when she was actually halfway across the world, unbeknownst to him.

"Me too." She admitted "It was weird to know what days you didn't have shows and not count the moments until they came."

Harry nodded, deciding not to comment on the fact that she knew at least some of his tour schedule.

"I didn't know you were in Australia though" She said "I sorta got lost in my work the last few months and it's funny how that happened right when you were nearby. I just about shit when Malika pulled the tickets out - I honestly didn't even know you were coming to Sydney."

Harry smiled sadly, he hadn't thought of her for a few months either. This leg of the tour had been constant - and she was so far away back in the US that he hadnt thought about what she was doing or if he may run into her in LA. His days off were spent writing and cooped up in the hotels.

"I didn't know you were in Sydney either." He smiled "Until I saw an article that you were at the show. Most of my team was surprised that I didn't know you attended."

Y/N bit her lip. She didn't want to admit that she decided against texting him that she was going.

"Yeah - I'll admit I had hoped I would fly under the radar." Harry was silent at that, so she quickly added "I'm really glad I got caught though"

Harry smiled to himself and finished his glass of wine, reaching to pour himself another.

"Yeah I kinda figured you didn't want me to know so I went back and forth about calling you." Harry said, and Y/N bit her lip

"Glad I did though" He winked and she let out a breath

"I was stupid to think no one would recognize me." She mumbled "I had gone so long without anyone knowing who I was I think I just assumed everyone forgot."

"I love them, but my fans never forget." He replied

"Yeah." Was all she said. She wasn't upset that people knew her anymore - she had really gotten used to it and had grown more accepting of the fact that it was just a part of being with someone famous. She was pretty lucky - people generally liked her. She was upset that she was naive enough to think it had really subsided, though.

"I'm still glad you came, though." He said, almost in a whisper.

"Me too." She finished her glass, turning her attention to the menu. "So, what should I order?"

The rest of the lunch went smoothly. They took their time eating and catching up, and Harry was sure he would never get her off his mind again. It was going well, really well.

But Y/N still wasn't sure what his intentions were. Would he want to be with her again? Was he happier without her? They both seemed to be doing okay but she felt her stomach drop at the thought of this lunch coming to an end. She didn't want to go back to her life without him after finally seeing him again.

She knew what she wanted so she decided to get it together and be straight forward.

"Uh, weird question. Is this a date?"

Harry nearly choked on the last bite of his food, not expecting her to say that at all.

"Oh um." He started, and Y/N regretted asking. "I don't really know, honestly."

Y/N sighed in relief. She didn't really know either. At least they were on the same page.

"Do you.. want it to be?" He finally added, turning his attention from his plate to the woman before him. He knew what he wanted - and yes, he hoped it was a date.

"I think so." She bit her lip. She was doing good, but the thought of reconnecting with Harry excited her more than anything. She was scared; she still felt a bit worried that things wouldn't work out between them. But now she knew she would be okay if they didn't. She could admit she wanted to try and that being with him right now made her feel like the last 18 months hadn't really happened.

"Okay." He smiled. He didn't expect it, but he definitely wasn't going to complain. He had prepared for the worst so he was happy to be pleasantly surprised. "Then it's a date."

Y/N blushed, nodding as she finished her third glass of wine. She didn't know where this was going to go or if things would work out between them, but that was okay. She was okay with that.

"We don't have to pick up where we left off." He said softly "I mean - let's just take it slow and see how things go."

"I like your rhymes." She smiled

"Thanks, It's the songwriter in me" He joked

"Thanks for calling me." She said "Not sure I would've ever gotten the courage."

"Not sure where mine came from." Harry said. That wasn't true, he saw she was at the show and knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try. She came and he knew that meant something.

"Well, I'm really glad you did. I didn't think this.." She motioned between them, not really sure what to call it "Was even on your mind anymore."

He wanted to tell her that he thought about her for months after they broke up. He wanted to tell her that she was the only thing that mattered and he was a mess without her in the beginning. He wanted to tell her he hadn't been with anyone since because he knew it wouldn't be the same. He wanted to tell her a lot of things - but he decided to just enjoy that they could move forward now.

He was pleased she even wanted anything to do with him and he wasn't going to do anything to mess it up this time. He would make sure of it.

"It wasn't." He decided on. "But I think that's why it was perfect."

She nodded in agreement. It was perfect, and they both knew they would work hard to keep each other this time. She wanted to, though. And she was happy things would only go up from here.

"It is perfect."

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hope it was a satisfying ride. thank u guys for all the love - I wasn't expecting that at all so I'm glad you bullied me into writing more parts 🤪❤️

Requests are open if u want more angsttt or whateva

[faerielleart]

GIRL GGFJFJVGDJD OK UMMM let me see... what do you like about levihan? or do you have any unpopular opinions? or headcanons!

oh boi i hope i won’t rant too much, i don’t want this answer to be a thousand miles long i don’t want to seem boring-

OKAY let’s start

What i like about levihan: i have to start with a lil background a say that levihan is my longest ship i’ve ever had, it’s the only one who survived time and the only ship i have never stopped shipping/lost interest into, which is kinda rare for me since i switch interests a lot and go through hyper-fixations, so i tend to lose interest quickly in something once i’ve found something else to pay attention to

this, however has never happened with levihan: started shipping them when i was 12, still trash 7 years later skdjdjfjf i didnt start shipping them for special reasons tho, at the time aot was my first ever still on air anime and i was completel new to the community, plus i didnt really speak english well and the first episodes i watched confused me A LOT. However, amidst all that confusion and trying to remember names and plot points, episode 9 came, i got introduced to this character who apparently is named levi, the first information the scene gives the watcher is “this guy is a grump” based on his reaction to the crowd, the second information the scene gives to the watcher is “this person next to him, despite him being a grump, isn’t afraid to tease the shit out of him and we still don’t even know their name” which i found ??? Cool??? I immediately paid attention to this lil dynamic, then the next scene was the hairgrab scene and,,,,,, yeah my 12 year old braincells went into overdrive and i was completely sold

i just needed them to interact once and BOOM

but OBJECTIVELY i still find extremely telling, years later, how these were the first informations of these characters. In a narrative, character’s introduction is absolutely crucial to the story, you can understand millions of things just by the way a character is presented and says their first lines and honestly choosing to introduce levi and hanji together was imho very, very telling of what role they’d play in the story/what role they play in each other’s lives.

isn’t it strange that the very first infirmation we get of these two is that the grumpy one is okay with this person teasing him? that means there’s gotta be a level of familiarity among them, right? and the hairgrab? requested by isayama himself? in the official book of season one it also says that the scene was added to “show their relationship”??? i mean 2+2 is 4 where i’m from 👁👄👁✨

so yeah my dumb 12 year old brain had FORESIGHT apparently-

as i picked up the manga and read through the uprising (and got older and my english got better) i noticed more and more things about them and i just really freaking fell in love with their relationship okay it wasn’t “oh cool grumpy and sunshine who teases him”, more like “holy fuck grumpy has a sad backstory, seems unapproachable but is the kindest person ever, just wants to be a hero and save everyone, has the most tender heart, sunshine is a multi dimensional character who has fears and doubts and they work so well together despite being polar opposites but at the same time their oppositeness results in somehow them being completely in sync with each other and almost thinking with the same brain as if they were one person split in half”.

since they’re grown adults and they’re so close, their relationship has something that i always seek and almost never find in other ships, which is emotional maturity. You never see them purposely tearing each other down just to hurt the other, they work out their problems and C O M M U N I C A T E ✨ they don’t act childishly around each other, they tease and bicker but it’s completely different than full blown arguments where both parts disrespect the other just to prove their point. They are willing to listen to what the other has to say and their judgment is precious and welcomed, since the basis of their relationship is complete trust. levi is rough with words, but he means something else entirely despite what he conveys, as seen during the aftermath of eren’s first hardening experiments, and hanji totally understands what he wants to say, which is why they never reprimand him or take offense to what he says.

what i’m trying to say, i believe in a way that nothing is half-assed about how they were written in the story as a pair, despite how i disagree with certain narrative choices *ahem*; as much as i would have wanted them to have more screentime and more interactions, i believe it wouldn’t have been “in character”, lemme explain because i realize it sounds weird and my wording probably doesn’t help: their relationship is subtle and as such it should remain subtle and in the subtext, simply because it is none of our business as readers. Show, not tell, but show in a way that it is evident only if you pay attention. levi is blunt when he speaks, but at the same time his words have another meaning than what he conveys and his actions are subtle.

isn’t it obvious with how often it was remarked that the only person who is able to understand levi completely is hanji? and this is where chapter 132 comes into play with this amazing analysis post that i’m sure we all read a thousand times and screamed over it

all this “ambiguity”, all this subtlety, all this subtext, all this wordplay, words that have more than one meaning, i believe are all indicators of one thing: us readers are not able to understand comple what levi wants to say and his words result ambiguous to us and not 100% clear, simply because the readers are not hanji. but fortunately, i believe that hanji understood that levi too wants to “stay in the forest”. this is not the reaction of someone who is confused by a sentence, this is the face of someone who finally had a realization:

what kind of realization? it’s not up to us to know (tho we know *wink wink*), because we’re not hanji and we can’t understand what levi says.

plus, 心臓を捧げよ, “dedicate your heart”, can hold a million different meanings. 心臓 is heart, を is a particle that denotes the object, 捧げよ is the verb “to offer, dedicate, devote, sacrifice”, there are no adjectives that indicate possession as you can see; levi using his own left (not right) fist and placing it on hanji’s chest instead of just taking hanji’s hand and placing it on their chest is ambiguous too. i interpet it in different ways but the conclusion is one, and i can’t honestly see it in any other way. one of the interpretations i like the most is that levi is implying that they both share the same heart, which is why he used his own left hand, meaning that both of them are dedicating their hearts in that moment to humanity, because they are actively choosing to put their desires aside to live a peaceful life away from everything (as jean too has wished in chapter 127, as hanji has expressed in 126 but in 127 too and jean seems taken aback by their confession) since they’re soldiers and duty comes first.

so yeah if i have to choose something i love the most about levihan, it’s gotta be the subtlety and the ambiguity that at the end of the day, is absolutely not ambiguous at all. everything is expressed for a reason, if an author actively chooses ambiguity, in this specific case of a relationship, he intends the result not to be ambiguous. it sounds like a brain fart but i blame it on my inability to articulate my thoughts well, i hope what i want to say can be understood 😭 and in a way, this can be considered as an unpopular opinion i think?

meaning that i get that commonly someone might want an explicit declaration that leaves no room to doubt and I honestly wish for it too, but I don’t think it would be in character, and the ambiguity (if we can call it that, i’m calling it that just to avoid backlash and controversy jshfsjdjmd) in this case speaks enough volumes to me considering both of the characters we’re dealing with, the story as a whole, the interactions with other characters.

ALSO going back to their bond, i want to copypaste something i posted on twitter regarding chapter 126 and the blush: it doesn't make sense, character-wise, for Hanji to feel in any way embarassed around Levi. They have no filters whatsoever around each other. They are close, closer than anyone in the series, the author hasn't shown any embarassment between them. Back in Uprising, when Hanji was hesitant and wanted out, Levi was the one who encouraged them. So, this thing has in a way already happened, since back then they admitted to wanting to abandon responsibilities to Levi's face and didn't blush. So, in 126's context, it doesn't really make sense for Hanji to blush "only because they were embarassed at being caught wanting to run away". It happened once already and there was no blush. So yeah, the blush means something else. And that something else is definitely much, much, MUCH deeper than "embarassment". 🙌

since smartpass stories can absolutely be taken as part of the canon universe as they’re supervised and approved by isayama and published with the manga, i am adding the rain story as further proof of what kind of relationship they have. also levi being a 30 year old tsundere is adorable but movING ON

SO YEAH MY FINAL TWO CENTS ARE : i love everything about levihan and there isn’t a single thing i would change, because wanting aot to be a huge slice of life of them doing the most random things just to watch them interact doesnt count sjdjfjdjdjfjsmdm, my unpopular opinion is that i find the subtlety and the ambiguity KEY to doing justice to what they have because it’s none of us readers’ business because only they are able to understand each other and i fucking LOVE that, my headcanon is that they totally kissed once during the timeskip, maybe on the first anniversary of the battle of shiganshina, i see them not being able to sleep alone and finding comfort in each other and in a moment of weakness and vulnerability they kiss, but pretend it never happened because things are messy and they can’t afford to get involved because again, duty first, but the YEARNING™️ and the PINING™️ only intensifies after that, but they manage not to make things awkward and they are close as ever.

my GOD i rewrote the odyssey, sorry 😭

[writes-eat-sleep-repeat]

Seeing Red

Prompt: PMS days

Pairing: Spooky x Reader

Warning/ notes: Major fluff. Not grammatically correct. Currently on my menses which inspired this one shot. Hope it can comfort other spooky lovers during their time of the month. Enjoy ;)

Summary: Spooky takes care of his girlfriend when she’s on her menses. Just him and her!

Word count: 2063

As you opened your eyes you peered through the curtains of your room and noticed it was a rainy day outside in LA. The sky was somewhere between a light gray and the cusp of a white. They kind of color that hurt your eyes if you stared at it to long. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes you rolled over on your back and instantaneously felt the stinging in our stomach. It was day two of your menses. They worst day of them all. often you thought about what it might feel like to get shot and came to the conclusion it couldn’t possibly be any worse than this. While you laid back staring up at the ceiling you heard your phone vibrate. Looking over all you could mutter was “shit” 8 miss calls and 15 text. You looked at the clock on the nightstand to your left 10:00 am. Opening the text you scroll to the top and began reading

‘Hey mama’-3:15 pm

Missed call 3:30 pm

‘Hello’-4:00pm

Missed call 5:00 pm

‘Y/N’-5:30 pm

Missed call 6:00 pm

‘Y/N pick up the phone’- 6:30 pm

The calls and messages entwined like this for the next couple of hours until you guess your boyfriend finally fell asleep. You cant believe you slept for basically 19 hours straight. Aside from a few bathroom and water breaks where you had to use all the power you could muster up to complete those task, you somehow forgot to check your phone. Throwing your arm over your face to block out what little light was peaking through the window you could hear your roommate/ best friend Rebecca getting ready for work. BUZZZZ someone rang the doorbell. You heard him before you saw him. Out in the living room talking with you bestie, ‘where is Y/N’ he asked her. Oh no. He sounds pissed.

You laid frozen with your hand over your arm wanting the earth to swallow you whole. ‘She’s not feeling well’ you heard Rebecca respond. You always avoided Oscar on days like this because you were afraid to get mad and finally scare him away with your crazy . He burst into your room bringing the bright light from the hallway with him. You felt the irritation slowly building. Removing your hand with a sigh you look over to your right at the door. ‘Couldn’t pick up your phone’ he asked with a particular edge to his voice that brought out your annoyance to what seemed to be instantaneously. ‘I was sleeping’ you said letting acid seep into your voice. ‘For a fucking day’ he yelled. That’s it, you thought sitting up it bed which was followed by a gush of blood below causing you further annoyance.

“I’m not dealing with your shit today. 1. I spoke to you yesterday afternoon and its only 10 am meaning it wasn’t a whole fucking day. 2. Becca told you I wasn’t feeling well and instead of coming in here and asking if I’m okay you choose too come in here and yell at me like your my daddy. 3. Your not my daddy 4. My hormones are all over the place and I literally feel like i am dying so unless you plan on helping and not being an ass I suggest you leave.’ Oscar who you never ever send away looked more hurt than even mad that you yelled at him. He never took that kind of disrespect from anyone being the gang leader he is. ‘Okay, well.. what’s wrong? ummm... how can I help?’ he asked. ‘ you cant’ you replied. “Y?N...” ‘I have to go to the store and get some stuff.’ You swung you legs of the bed and tried to stand up only to be meet with crippling pain. Before you could even fully bend over to hold your stomach Oscar was there pushing you back onto the bed. ‘Your not driving like this’ he said. ‘Tell me what you need and ill get it for you’ he finished. ‘ you cant, ok its personal girl stuff’ you replied shyly. ‘ I didn’t ask you what it was. I said to tell me what you need’ he sternly answered. After writing a list that and handing it to him he said he’ll be back in 15 minutes. You took this time to take some pain medication and crawl to the bathroom just barely managing to take a shower while he was gone. Rebecca poked her head in to let you know she was heading out so you knew it was time to leave the shower so you could let Oscar back in. Standing in your room trying to figure out what to wear you decided on a pair of black leggings and one of oscars hoodie that you stole from him. You just needed to be comfy. As you were pulling the hoodie down over your head you heard the door buzzz. Heading out the the front door you pulled it open to find Oscar with 4 shopping bags. He walked past you to the kitchen and put them on the counter. ‘What exactly did you buy Oscar I only asked for a pack of pads and a soda” you asked quizzically, with what you were sure was a confused look on your face.

‘Well you said always overnight but they had 2 different kinds and I didn’t want to call you so I got both and then i got you some Advil, i mean I don’t know if that works for that kind of pain’ he said gesturing towards your stomach ‘but, i got it anyway and the lady at the store said it was good and suggested i get you something sweet and I couldn’t decide on one, so i bought one of every candy and...’ he didn’t get to finish his rambling because you walked over to him and kissed him lovingly to interrupting, he responded by holding your neck firmly in place and meeting you with the same level of passion. Pulling away for oxygen you looked up into the liquid brown eyes of Oscar Diaz and all you could say is ‘I love You’. “Go sit down mama I’m making breakfast” was his response. “Ummmm...I kinda wanted ice cream for breakfast’ you said. ‘Ice cream is not breakfast. No wonder i cant get cesear to eat any real food’ he teased you. Knowing you looked after the younger Diaz while he was locked up. ‘Hey. I eat real food but today my a baby maker wants ice cream so, I eat ice cream’ you joked. Walking over to the couch in the living room knowing he will never let you eat the ice cream first.

Settling down under the black throw that was on the couch you began to flick through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Settling on a romantic comedy. It wasn’t t long before Oscar walked over with your plate in hand. You couldn’t help but laugh as he approached you in Rebecca’s -queen of the kitchen-apron. Your attention then turned on the intoxicating smell drifting off the plate in his hand and settling in your nose. Homemade fluffy pancakes, eggs and fried salami (Oscar knew you weren’t a bacon person). He handed you the plate and placed his on the coffee table before heading back to the kitchen to remove the apron and grab your drinks. By the time he returned you were already half way through your meal. As he sat down to begin his meal. You were full and much more happy, you still couldn’t escape what you could only assume to be a stabbing taking place in your stomach but this is as happy as you were gonna get. You were content. Watching Oscar eat you eyes drifted to the santos tattoo on is neck and dirty thoughts began popping into your head. Just filthy thoughts, scooting a little closer to your man you kissed it midway him bringing some eggs to his mouth. He paused looking at you from the side through those long eyelashes with a lifted eyebrow.

That put your hormones in overdrive, you wanted him now! ‘ I liked the breakfast’ was all you could manage. Shaking his head he returned to his meal. You kissed his tattoo again, then licked it and then began sucking it. You hadn’t realized Oscar had put his dish down when he lifted you onto his lap. You were face to face, sitting on his lap you noticed he was a little hard. Biting your lip and now staring at his lips thinking of all the possibilities you could do with his mouth he smiled. Damnit the dimples. At this point you couldn’t blame the full wetness on the blood. Ugh, why did you have to have a period. ‘Hi’ he said still smiling. “Hi” you smiled back, clearing your throat “ummm... I really, really liked the breakfast” you continued. “I appreciate the gratitude and the delivery of it but, I don’t think you should start something you cant finish right now in your current state” he replied. ‘Oh’ you answered climbing off of him bringing you knees to your chest. You know his rejection was well placed and he was right but with your hormones all over the place it hit you harder than you expected. ‘Hey, hey he said moving it closer to you. You know I would do absolutely terrible things to you Mi amor, but your not at 100 right now and I don’t want you feel like you have to have sex for me to stay. Okay? He asked. ‘Yeah, umm.. that wasn’t for you but, Okay.’ nodding you moved over to curl up next to him as he finished his meal. Peaking up at him every now ad then you started thinking about how you both had changed.

You knew Oscar essentially Your entire life. Your dad’s were cool and so Oscar spent a lot of time in your fathers auto shop learning, since your dad never had a son he welcomed the apprenticeship. You were no tomboy and completely against anything other than reading. It wasn’t that far fetched you and Oscar began dating in high school. You remembered the first time getting your period and trying to explain what was happening to him; you not even knowing yourself. ‘So your bleeding’ twelve year old Oscar asked. ‘Yes’ you replied. ‘From your Vagina’ he whispered. ‘ yes’ you whispered back. “So... why does this happen?’ He asked. ‘Well my mom said when you are growing up it happens when you don’t have a baby. I think’ you replied. ‘So, your body is hurting you because you don’t have a baby?’he asked. ‘Ummm... yeah, I guess’ you answered. ‘So why not just have a baby? Said Oscar ‘ I asked that too, my dad said because he’ll kill me. So I guess I’m suppose to just suffer in silence’ you answered.

The memory bought a smile to your face and a small giggle escaped your lips causing Oscar to glance down quizzically at you now cuddled up next to him with your head on his shoulders. “ I was just remembering the first time I got my period and you thought having a baby would be the answer to all my menses related problems” you answered his unspoken question. ‘It still could be’ was all he replied shaking his head’ Smiling, most likely remembering the memory too. ‘I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier’ he continued. ‘It’s just being me...well people... its hard...-I know’ you cut him of. ‘Being you is hard and you not only have to think about you but the gang as well , Cesar....Me. I know you, your head goes to the worst possible scenario automatically. I know how worried you get. I should have checked my phone. I’m sorry too” you said pecking him on the cheek. With a quick nod of the head he returned his attention back to the screen. He wasn’t a man of many words. You two watched movies for the rest of the night. There were far and few instances when you had Oscar to yourself. When he was Oscar and not spooky. You relished these moments, these feelings and saved them for times when being is girlfriend seems less than ideal. For tonight, it’s enough to just cuddle up with your man and watch a movie.

[lucinared]

Dino Fury is pretty alright.

So I have been watching Dino Fury because I've heard about what's coming up in the next batch of episodes and really wanted to give it ago. I've struggled with the series since Saban brought the property back and Hasbro hasn't really impressed me much with their take so far. Beast Morphers is probably better than I give it credit for but I love Go-busters so I don't think it could ever live up to my dreams. Weirdly the one series I've enjoyed out of the neo saban era and Hasbro eras was Megaforce. Mostly because of Emma and Gia. (Which is why I'm so excited about the leak of what's happening with Izzy)

But Dino Fury is pretty fun so far. It reminds me a bit of the start of Dino Charge which I enjoyed the first season of. I find it weird how so far the Hasbro era has a lot of original fight footage but actually feels cheaper I don't know I think the Nickelodeon bright clean camera stuff is way too clean like it doesn't feel like it takes place in a real world it's almost sitcom like. The ADR is also pretty bad. It has been since the neo saban era it feels so half hearted and I don't think that's on the actors I think it's a direction and mixing issue.

But the title of this was why I liked it kinda. Well first I actually like the theme song. I know we haven't had anything but remixes of the Go Go power rangers theme since Samurai but I kinda like the electronic feel to this one. Evolution Revolution is a great lyric even if I am not fussed on how powerful the Dino Fury rangers actually are. I think they really have a great roster each character feels pretty defined and their focus episodes are really character and lesson focused. I've found that the moral at each episodes core are pretty solid. The highlight of the early epsiodes is Winning Attitude. Amazing guest star and a two really great lessons and growth for Izzy.

Ok back to some disconnected thoughts about the season. It's really weird how the Sporix just grow big by themselves. The formula of Power Rangers has them defeat the small version then they get a second chance. It's really effecting how useful the rangers feel on combat because they basically can never win without zords.

God there is a lot of teleporting in this show. Rangers teleport everywhere, villains teleport on and off screen all the time. Fights can feel really weird when the villains can just teleport away. Also it's super weird that the rangers teleport in unmorphed we assume they are keeping their identities secret why not morph before showing up. (This is not a problem exclusive to Dino Fury but the over use of teleporting really highlights it here)

Episode 6 and 7 have a direct connection in following up on a zord finder that Solon is making. Episode 6 is set up that it will help find the zord then at the opening of episode 7 it doesn't work. Ummm what was the point of this? I like how there has been a natural story progression over the first couple of episodes but this just felt pointless. It's kinda trying to do the thing that operation overdrive tires but less clue to clue and just carrying over story beats. Just weird where you set up a device that instantly doesn't work.

Buzzblast, what is it? Like is it a YouTube studio, is it a news station, is it a digital platform. Also what is Jane's job. She is sometimes the boss, sometimes the live editor, sometimes a reporter. Why does she need anyone else? They might have been better served building a small supporting cast of Buzzblast characters. I think this emblematic of the format that they stick too. You get the rangers and their mentor, guest star friends and relatives who might never appear again and two comedy characters.

I love the zords. I haven't been a huge fan of recent zord designs I love the go-busters zords and beast Morphers not making a combined cockpit for them was one of its biggest mistakes. But yeah I really like the way the zords fit together and how each zord can become the head piece with its out mode.

I forgot that Ninja Steel is in main continuity so that's a thing looking forward to Mick showing up (I really dislike Ninja Steel)

Yeah I am just throwing this out into the ether because they are thoughts floating around with nowhere to go.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 205

205

Wolf. Human. Exhausted. Horny. Exhausted. Wolf. Exhausted. Human. Horny. Exhausted. For the next two moons, Keith was... very instinctual. Very, very, instinctual. He couldn’t keep his hands off Lance when he was awake, nor when he was asleep... Lance wasn’t sure what they hadn’t fucked on, only that thankfully they were locked away in one of the very many rooms of VOLTRON where no one ever seemed to go. Coran had skipped giving them a bed, instead they’d been gifted the use of what seemed to be some kind of storage room for ex-training equipment. Their “bed” a stack of old gym mats. Keith too horny to care about where Lance would sleep, and Lance kind of too horny to sweat the small details around the sleeping thing seeing he seemed to now have the talent for sleeping anywhere as long as there was a bathroom closish.

In the space of twoish days, they pretty much dissembled the room. Keith had boundless energy in his wolf form. Having him “work it off” during the day meant only one leg humping incident, and that was only very minor as Keith had been ashamed when he’d realised what he was doing. Trying to be proactive, it turned it to “How to train your werewolf fiancé”, with Lance building different obstacle courses for Keith to conquer and amuse himself with. No. He wasn’t above playing fetch with Keith... and Keith wasn’t above being bossed around if it meant head scratches for being a good boy. His fiancé mortally embarrassed to find that he’d walked all the way to Platt simply because he missed his vampire. Coran stepping in and giving them complete privacy for the duration of the moon, meaning no nagging from Shiro over Keith’s safety.

Still, Lance was happy to have Keith back to himself after the moon had passed. His boyfriend much softer and much gentler, taking into account that Lance wasn’t really feeling like having sex seeing how vigorously they’d gone at it during the few hours Keith was awake around lunchtime. Keith stupidly apologetic for his wolffish ways, with snuggles and pampering that Lance sorely needed. Despite ensuring him repeatedly that he’d be okay, Coran decided that they needed and extra few days with Lance resting and on fluids thanks to all the “mating” they’d done. Launching into a long story involving sex with a very persistent vampire queen who was set on wedding him, Lance completely mentally banned the word “mating” from his own vocabulary. He now knew how much of a kinky demon bastard Coran was, and he’d never be able to scrub the graphic descriptions of Coran being pegged from his mind.

Allura had been highly sympathetic towards the pair of them when she’d brought his precious Blue back. Her blue rhinestone collar had been replaced by a pink one with a little bow, obviously she’d been “pampered” by her aunt Allura and hated every moment of it. Cradled in Lance’s arms, she made sure to glare up at him, letting him know he was only allowed cuddles as she didn’t wish to be held by Allura or Keith. Lance felt as if he’d been the worst cat dad to his beloved princess. She not only had to put up with a vampire for a father, she also had to put up with a werewolf as her other father, and she was expected to rule her household with incompetent staff in his absence. Not that Lance would ever admit it, but he missed the days when it’d been him and Blue off on another adventure together. He missed taking her for her walks, and spoiling her rotten as she loved him simply for the fact he was the one who operated her wet food. He’d never tell anyone this, nor would he change how things were now, he just really missed Blue and everything crazy that came with owning a cat. Kosmo was bestest boy, but Blue would be princess forever.

Without a lot to pack, they nearly made it out of VOLTRON and into his bronco before Coran was calling Keith away. Kissing him on the cheek, Keith sent him on ahead, Lance trying to block out the conversation between the two men, not completely sure he wanted to know what was being said, but mostly out of privacy. Thanks to the talk, when Keith climbed behind the driver’s wheel, his fiancé seemed in a bad mood, Lance not pushing as he wasn’t sure he’d like the answer he’d get if he did. Still, they were finally going back home for the next two weeks, where he’d finally get a look at Rieva’s engagement ring, though he wasn’t supposed to know about it as he’d heard Curtis and Shiro being all mushy and no one had actually told him about it directly... or if they had, he’d forgotten it and thinking about that was far too scary a prospect.

*

Fucking fuck fuck. Keith knew that Lance knew that he knew that Lance knew he was angry. Fucking shitty vampires. Not Lance though. Never Lance. No. Fuck Lotor. Fuck Lotor and his big prick of an ego. Keith wasn’t sure what he wanted to hit, only that hitting the open road hadn’t calmed him down.

Okay. He was not the best werewolf. He was not the strongest, the smartest, the scariest, or even the biggest. His instincts had gone into overdrive over not being able to find his mate and he’d walked the whole goddamn way to Platt to find him. Not that he really remembered that night, but still... That was totally beside the point, because fucking Lotor was coming back. He was coming back and he’d oh so graciously volunteered to spar with Keith to hone his new skills before they worked on him shifting into a werewolf.

The wank stain couldn’t come back for Allura, noooooo. That’d be too easy. No. He had to come back right when Lance was nearing the end of his pregnancy and play some damn fictional hero like mentor to his dumb wolf arse. And Coran had picked right when they were finally heading home to drop this piece of news on him. All those times he’d wanted to punch Lotor in the face and restrained himself seemed for nought now he had to be nice to him. Yeah, he was grateful the vampire had “tried” to protect Lance. But there was absolutely no way he wanted another vampire cozening into his mate. Though it would have broken Allura’s heart, Keith would have been happy if Lotor just stayed away in Europe with those ridiculous suits of his.

Lance hadn’t said a thing. Keith didn’t know if he’d heard, or if his fiancé was simply trying to be polite. Knowing Lance, option two seemed the sure bet. He was too old and too fucking exhausted for Lotor’s shit. Then there were Lotor’s witches to think about too... The only useful thing in this situation Lotor could possibly bring with him was anything Honerva had on breeder pregnancies. Yeah, it’d be information probably too late, but if there were to be any complications, he’d rather know before hand so he could figure out how best to support Lance.

Home was a welcome sight. Blue bolting from the bronco the moment Lance had his door open. Matt and Rieva coming out to wait for the pair of them as Keith dragged himself out from behind the steering wheel. How was he supposed to tell Lance he’d have to make pretty much daily trips to Platt starting in three days time? He didn’t want to do that to Lance. He didn’t want to have to deal with sorting through Lenny’s files when he also had to cope with Lotor’s training. Ugh. Adulting sucked. Forced into a hug with the two werewolves, his ego made him growl at the pair. Rieva slapping him upside the back of the head as she scolded him for running off. He’d never be living that one down.

Inside, Hunk, Shay, and Krolia were waiting in the living room. Krolia holding back a very excited Kosmo who’s whole body was wagging

“Kosmo!”

Crouching down, Keith opened his arms, Kosmo bowling him over as he rushed at him, licking his face as Keith tried to push him down

“You’re a menace... yes, who’s a menace? You’re a menace!”

Chuckling at the pair of them, Lance sidestepped them. Keith mood instantly lifted by Kosmo’s pure joy at seeing him

“I’m not going to say a word... but if you’re going to cheat on me, I suppose you can cheat on me with our best boy”

Keith snorted

“As if I’m going to cheat on you... besides, Kosmo is best pupper”

“As far as I’m concerned you both are. Hey, guys. Got room on the sofa for a sleepy vampire?”

Lance had made it one to the sofa and into one of Hunk’s hugs before Keith managed to get Kosmo calmed down. Sitting on the floor, his idiot fur son was sitting between his legs. This was home. He was home...

“You guys didn’t have to come visit us”

Hunk had work and so did Shay, as did his who was clearly giving herself the day off. Kicking lightly vaguely in Keith’s direction, Lance then snuggled himself into Hunk’s side

“Says you. Don’t worry, Hunk, he’ll change his mind when he gets one of your sunshine cuddles”

“I have plenty of cuddles. I bet you’re happy to finally be released”

“Oh, man. You have no idea. I’m still tired as heck, but Coran said as long as I don’t start sleeping without eating, I should be fine to nap as much as I want to”

That wasn’t quite what Coran had said, but Keith didn’t want to be a nagging fiancé

“That’s great, dude. I’ve gotta say, you all had us worried when you ended up there again”

“It’s like a second home by now. Plus I got some quality time with my gremlin, which was nice. Now I’m looking forward to having a bath and sleeping in my own bed...”

Hunk chuckled as Lance closed his eyes

“I’m glad my shoulder makes a good alternative”

“Mmm. You have great shoulders. And great arms for hugging. You’re the best cuddly Hunk in the universe”

“Aw, Bud, you’re not too bad yourself”

“I know. It’s my gift and my curse. Anything new to report while we were gone?”

“Ummm... Shay and I are looking at renting a place of our own”

Lance shot up, beaming as he wrapped his arms around Hunk

“I’m so happy for you guys!”

Keith was happy for them too, supposing he was being a tad anti-social staying on the floor rather than getting up and sitting in one of the recliners. He couldn’t let his Lotor problems bring the mood down

“That’s great, guys. Are you going to house share with Pidge or are you striking out on your own”

Shay giggled, Keith assuming she was happy to talking about it, otherwise her giggle made no sense

“Oh, definitely on our own. It just feels the right time. You guys are having twins. Matt and Rieva are engaged. Work’s been going really well, plus our parents both want to chip on the bond... I don’t think Pidge would like living with a couple...”

Keith noticed the way Lance’s smile wobbled. He’d mentioned that Pidge had been kind of feeling down about her friendship with Hunk drifting. People grew and changed, it sucked but it was a fact of life, and unfortunately for Pidge she was surrounded by couples. Matt came up behind him, ruffling Keith’s hair hard enough that it felt like his brain was being shaken

“Don’t worry about, Pidge. She’s been coming home from work to crash here. She’s never been one for love. All the kisses and the cooties, she’d rather be coding”

Matt only served to make Lance frown, he must have set his ego off

“Pidge is perfectly fine the way she is. I’ve already told her we’ll start looking for somewhere nice sufficiently haunted once the twins have come”

Hunk groaned deeply at Lance

“Man, you’re not still going to go ghost hunting, are you!? This is change to get out of going to creepy buildings in the middle of the night”

“Someone’s got to keep our little Pidgeon safe. You know how over excited she gets”

“But, dude. I’ve got grey hairs... I’m getting grey hairs thinking about going back”

Lance and Hunk would never fight, but Lance had said Pidge was upset. His fiancé would do whatever it took to make her happy again... and Lance did have a point about Pidge needing a babysitter... aaaaand Pidge chasing after ghosts was a hell of lot safer than her pursuing her interests in werewolves and vampires

“I don’t mind. I mean, I’ve already been there before and it wasn’t that bad”

Lance nodded quickly

“See! The gang is totally getting back together, even Keith agrees it’s going to be just like old times again. You split up the band”

“Yeah... but that... I mean, we know it’s real now...”

Matt chimed in with a scoff

“Yeah, really mostly explained by science”

Lance didn’t take too well to Matt’s unwanted addition to the conversation, snippy in his retort as he moved himself to shoot Matt a deathly scowl

“Ghosts are real. I know you werewolves don’t see them like vampires, but they’re there. They’re not something to just go poking out. If Pidge wants to go, I’m going with her”

Matt released Keith’s head, Keith feeling the fellow werewolf’s ego flaring. Matt had no right to be shitty towards Lance wanting to be there for Pidge

“Dude, you can’t let her boss you around forever. There’s a time for moving on”

“She’s not bossing me around. At the moment this is what she’s into. Running around the occasional haunted place was kind of fun. She’s fun. Yeah, death feels absolutely horrible. Shadows on the edge of your vision. Body so cold your breath comes out in puffs of condensation. But it was fun. Watching how into it all is fun, and when she started making connections in her cases I couldn’t have been prouder at the time and effort she’d put in. I want to be there and I want to support her. Yeah, she took her job at VOLTRON because she was already a firm believer in the paranormal, but she also did it so she could understand us better. Forget it, I’m getting cranky and we all know that’s Keith’s job, isn’t it, babe?”

Keith had wisely kept his mouth shut, yet he had been cranky all morning and Lance was owed an explanation

“Lotor’s coming back”

Maybe a better explanation than that. Keith cringing at his own bluntness. The cringe turning into a wince as Matt yelled, hurting his ears

“What?!”

Unhappy about his sore ears, Keith huffed

“You don’t need to fucking yell about it. I’m going to be training with him in Platt starting next week. Coran dropped it on me this morning as we were leaving”

Casting his gaze entirely to Lance, Lance smiled at him, rather looking freaked out like Keith thought he might. Cocking his head, Keith was confused

“Babe?”

“He’s... well, he’s him. But I think it’ll be good for you”

What?! No. Lance was supposed to support him staying at home... or maybe even say he wasn’t ready seeing he’d only been through two moons

“How is this a good thing?”

“You need someone to help you hone your skills now you’re a werewolf. You already hate him, so you’ll also get a lesson in how to rein your ego in for when you go hunting actually bad vampires. Plus, you don’t have to worry about hurting Lotor seeing he’s already dead so you can go all out”

Lance and his damn ridiculous logical approach

“But it’s Loturd...”

Whining only earned him a chuckle from Lance

“I know. I’m going to have call Allura later and scold her for not telling me about it. She’s supposed to be my adopted sister and she kept her mouth shut”

“Maybe she can distract him so I don’t have to put up with him?”

“Or maybe I’ll come along and kick your arse if you’re not training. He’s not my first choice of teacher, but I do think you need someone right now, and until I’ve given birth, I can’t help you train”

“You know I hate it when you’re right”

“But you love me”

He couldn’t argue with Lance’s logic there either

“I do. I don’t really want him and you in the same place”

“Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m might be fat, but I can break through an ego now. He tries anything funny and I’ll neuter him”

“Not if I get there first”

If Lotor so much looked in Lance’s direction, Keith would kill him. Lance was his mate and as painful as it was, vampires probably belonged better together than a werewolf and vampire. Lance might not have any feelings towards Lotor... yet Keith couldn’t keep his jealously at bay. He deserved to be fucking happy, no matter how selfish it was, until he’d worked out how to interact with Lotor, Lance wouldn’t be going anywhere near him.

Shooting him double finger guns, his fiancé was trying to make him happier

“That’s my boy. Now, I don’t know what you’ve all got planned, but I want to take a bath. Growing babies is exhausting. Your amazing shoulder is going to have to wait, Hunk-a-roonie”

“That’s okay, Bud. We only really came to see that you guys got back safely. We’ve actually got a house viewing at 12 o’clock, so we’d better head out. It’s so good to have you guys home”

Lance smiled at Hunk

“It’s good be home. Don’t forget, you’ve got a team of werewolves to help you move. I’m happy to volunteer them”

“Yeah, we’ll keep that in mind. Right, we’ll see you guys later”

Leaving them, Keith dragged himself off the floor and into the space Hunk had vacated. Matt leaving them to join Rieva in the kitchen where she’d been making lunch before they’d come home. Lance not moving for this bath he wanted, instead kissing Keith on the cheek, before snaking his arm around him with a content sigh

“No bath?”

“Not yet. Honestly, I feel really bad, but I keep thinking about Pidge and it’s setting me off”

“Why don’t you invite her over?”

“I’ll send her a message. I used to get jealous over how close she and Hunk were, but we were always the “Garrison Trio”, you know. I know I can’t cling to the past, but it hurts that she feels on the outside”

Nosing into Lance’s hair, Keith nodded

“I know that feeling, but she’s got us and she’s got all our other friends. We’ll make sure she’s okay”

“I know. Babe, I know you’re upset about Lotor. If it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. Both of you have egos and sometimes you’re just not compatible with someone. No matter what, I’m proud of you”

Hauling Lance up into his lap, Keith hugged his fiancé tightly

“Thanks. I’m kind... pissed off, but this is for the best, right?”

“Yeah, babe. I want you to finally feel safe as a werewolf and think this is a really good step. You’ll always have me in your corner”

“I’d rather have you in our bed”

Lance groaned at him, slapping his arm lightly

“That’s enough, Casanova. If I spread my legs anymore, they’ll fall out”

“We can’t have that. I love your legs”

And Lance’s arse... and his tummy... and pretty much every single bit of him...

“I know... God, it’s so nice to be home”

“Yeah, it really is”

[firedragonx]

Maka Makes A New Friend

Maka is going emotion trial but makes a new friend along the way

Maka felt frustrated with Marisbury's arrangement. It was just really forced to work for him and organize or thrown out to the street and never see Crona again or find a way back her world again. With nowhere to go and no allies, she had to agree. Lucky the organization protects humanity and she gets to spend time with Crona. And also they happy she happy.

At least that what keeps telling herself.

Her background which they make up her parents left her as an orphan and throw around foster care until Romani Archaman 'adopted her but she managed to convent them into keeping her last name. The only thing she could keep in this world. Her friends and family were gone. She chose to come here after Crona.

But now she needs to prove herself. So she does what she wants to do in DWMA. Study and train.

She made it to the liberty and took books on magic circuits and mage craft. When to the training room and started practicing. She grabs one of the training scythes and puts some training drones.

'Come on,' Maka thought as focus. It wasn't like when she syncs with Soul. Instead of a familiar piano tune, she used to it buzz like static. It spends from her body to her weapon.

'Go.'

Maka took off, slicing and spin around the scythe. The last one was a big one. Which she closes her eyes and set her circuits into overdrive.

"Witch Hunter!" She shouted. Then like a muscle cramp she falls.

Slice!

Crash!

The attack leaves deeps cut on the ground and the walls. The drone was sliced but it clumsy done.

She stands up.

"If you keep doing that up you going to end up even more hurt." Maka turns to see Wodime standing at the entrance.

"Lord Kirschtaria," Maka greeted him. She didn't know what to make of him. He acts aloof and cold but Maka could see in his soul that more guard. She can understand why she was a stranger from another world. She earns these people's trust.

"If you keep on forcing your magic circuits to work overtime they will break and so will your body." He warned her.

Maka sighed, "Sorry just not use to magic circuits yet. Do you know where I can find the library?" She asked him.

"Near the bottom floor on the left side." He explained to her. She grabs her things and starts to go into the showers but when Pushie passes by Wodime she notices that he is rubbing the back of his head.

"Is something the matter?" She asked him.

"I need to talk about Crona." That got her full-on attention.

"Did something happened?" She asked Wodime.

"Crona is having a hard time with the train with us. They keep saying that can't with them and seems doesn't want to fight." He answers her.

"Have you try to know Crona?" She asked him. He shook his head and Maka feels anger boiling over.

"Crona is just shy and doesn't like fighting all that much. So trying to force them into doing something they want to is not a good way to get them to help you." She explains as matching up to Wodime who was a little taken aback by this, "If want Crona to help you guys then don't treat them like a weapon. Treat them as a person." She calms herself down, "Crona likes reading and poetry. Try showing them good poems."

She starts to turn away, "Now if excuse me I need to head to showers." With that, she leaves without waiting for his response.

______________________________________________________________________

Maka made her way to liberty and find a bunch of books on magic circuits. She was looking for a table for study at. She senses some of the soul's distaste for her or looking down at her. Then she saw a grey-blue-haired boy sitting in the corner of the room by himself.

"Hey can sit next to you?" She asked him. The boy looks surprised that she talking to him. She could see that his on guard around him.

"Ummm...sure," The boy said and Maka sits across from him. She holds up her hand.

"I'm Maka Albarn." She inducted herself. He looks down at her hand and shook it after a moment.

"I'm a Kadoc Zemlupus." She smiles and Kadoc starts to relax.

"Thanks for letting me sit here," Maka said to Kadoc who just shrugs.

"Mages only care about one thing and its bloodline. Best to get used to that." Maka frowns a bit.

"Guess it that obvious huh." She said sheepishly.

"You went straight to me and not any of the other tables with mages that have a big bloodline. So you either a not a high-level mage or want something from me." He narrowed his eyes at the last part.

Maka sighed, "Look, I don't how to prove that I'm not out to get besides my word. I don't much about mage life. I just got adopted a month ago and my dad had to bring me here." She explained.

"Who's your dad?" The Kadoc asked.

"Oh he's name is Romani Archaman." She answers.

Kadoc blinked in surprise, "I didn't know the doctor had a kid." Maka sense that he was more suspicious of her and her add-in.

"He adopted just a month ago and he now working full-time here so he needs me to close because he doesn't trust me to be on my own yet." She explains. It does make sense because Romani did just work here a month so it fits.

Kadoc seems to think over and just shrug, "I know much the doctor so I take your word for it."

Maka sighed, "Sorry for snapping it's just… I have been going through a lot." She admits.

Kadoc looks at her in pity and puts a hand on her shoulder, "Sorry...it's hard to trust people here." Maka looks in his concern, "But I really shouldn't take it out on you. You can study here."

"Thank you!" Maka thank him and sit next to him. She pulls` her books and Kadoc looks at the covers.

"Magic Circuits?" Kadoc raises an eyebrow.

"Still learning about them." She answered. He flicked to book and her.

"I can teach some it." He offered.

"Really?" She tilted her head.

"Yeah. To make up how I act early." He blushed and move closer and help her.

[peacockwinchester]

Crowley x Winchester! Author

Unrequested

Help, I'm beginning the Crowley craze. I have a oneshots book on Wattpad and it's got a good variety of my characters, but... So much Crowley. I mean. I love him. All the time. Beautiful man. (I simp for this man, and yes, I am aware how bottom-energy I am) Also this is my first oneshot using my new name! I get so giddy when I refer to myself as Misha. I wish people would actually use it in real life😢

~Misha~

My brothers and I were backed into a corner. We hadn't planned for someone other than Guy. Guy was currently choking Dean, but I was too dizzy to get up for a second. When I did try to get up, I was thrown back by Guy's intern. I would be bruised if I lived through this, and I had a lot of cuts from glass and the corners of tables. I blinked, watching Sam choking, wishing I could just stop that damn intern. Then, the intern flashed out, Ruby's knife protruding from his stomach. He fell forward.

Becky stood where the intern had just been, looking a little shocked.

"Whoa..." She said quietly.

Sam grabbed the blade and tossed it to Dean, who held it to Guy's throat. I got to my feet, a bit shaky from being thrown by thin air.

"How many deals do you have running here?" I asked, knowing Guy was now backed into the corner we'd just been in.

"Fifteen," Guy replied.

"Well, call them off, or I'll cut my own loophole in your throat," Dean growled.

"Oh, crap..." Guy muttered, eyes widening.

"Yeah, you said it," Dean grinned, "You're in a world-"

He was cut off by the sight of Crowley. My heart skipped a beat. It had been too long since I saw my boyfriend. Of course, no one knew he was my boyfriend, so I couldn't convey my excitement.

"Hello, boys," Crowley smiled at my brothers, before catching my eye discreetly.

Dean moved, so he was facing Crowley. Crowley, smiled at Sam.

"Sam, mazel tov. Who's the lucky lady?" He asked.

"You're Crowley!" Becky gasped.

"And you're- well, I'm sure you have a lovely personality, dear," Crowley replied.

I sighed. I didn't understand why people had to be so mean to Becky. I mean, I would never forgive her for roofie-ing my baby brother, but she was lonely, I guessed. I knew what that was like.

"Ah, another step and I'll Colombian necktie your little friend here," Dean warned.

"Please, don't let him get off that easy," Crowley scoffed.

I could see he was enjoying the opportunity to show me hiw he ran his kingdom. He liked to show off. I guessed that it also might be a hint that I would have to do this someday, but that was a long way off, and I didn't want to see things that weren't there.

"Sir, I don't think that you-" Guy started to give an excuse.

"I know exactly what you've been doing," Crowley glanced down at the intern's body, "A little birdie named Jackson sold you out, emailed all the juicy deets to my suggestion box. I assume that's my whistle-blower? Shame. Had a future. Unfortunately, you don't."

"I was just-" Guy started, sounding like a middle-schooler trying to get out of a detention.

"There's only one rule: make a deal, keep it," Crowley shut him down.

"Well, technically I didn't-"

"There's a reason we don't call our chits in early- consumer confidence. This isn't Wall Street! This is Hell! We have a little something called integrity! This gets out, who'll deal with us? Nobody! Then where are we?!"

"I don't know..."

"That's right. You don't. Because you're a stupid, shortsighted little prat. Now, hand tha jackass over. I'll cancel every deal he's made."

"What are you gonna do with him?" Dean asked.

"Make an example of him. Fair trade, right? We all go our separate ways. No harm done," Crowley answered.

"What, out of the goodness of your heart?" Sam scoffed.

"Guys-" I tried.

"Shush, Misha," Dean said.

"Years of demons nipping at your heels, haven't seen one for months. Wonder why?" Crowley scowled at my brothers.

"We've been a little busy," Dean said.

"Hunting Leviathan- yes, I know. That's why I told my lads to stay clear of you meatheads," Crowley locked eyes with me, silently telling me he was helping my brothers because of me.

"So, what do you know about-" Sam began to ask.

"Too much," Crowley stopped him. "You met that dick yet? Smuggest tub of goo since Mussolini. I hate the bastards. Squash 'em all, please. I'll stay clear."

I giggled at the comparison to Mussolini. Crowley looked back at me.

"What?" he frowned.

"Nothing. Just. I never thought I'd hear that from you," I quickly plastered on my "Winchester face".

"Please!" Crowley rolled his eyes, trying to look mad at me.

"Rip up the contracts first," Dean ordered.

Crowley snapped his fingers.

"Done... And done. Your turn," he said.

"No, nonono, let-" Guy started to plead.

Dean let go of Guy, shoving him towards Crowley. Guy straightened up awkwardly, clearly panicked in front of his boss.

"Pleasure, gentlemen. Misha," Crowley gave me a small smirk.

With that, he and Guy were gone. I felt the tension dissipate. Becky glanced over at me with a look I couldn't read.

~

Dean and I stood to the side as Sam and Becky signed the annulment. My phone rang. Dean looked down at me. I checked the caller ID. It was Crowley.

"Uh, old friend. Gotta take this," I gestured to the door before heading into the hallway.

Dean frowned a bit, but didn't question me. I shut the door to Becky's apartment behind me, picking up the call.

"Hello, darling," Crowley's voice said.

"Hi," I smiled.

It had been over a year, but I still got butterflies when he called me that.

"Are you in a good spot?" he asked.

"Good enough. Sammy's getting annulled in there. I told Dean it was an old friend," I shrugged.

Crowley suddenly appeared in front of me, phone still in hand. I smiled, hanging up.

"Old friend, huh?" he raised an eyebrow.

"What, can't I have normal friends?" I asked, playfully.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't seem very believable."

"I don't care. I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Your fault, not mine."

"I know, I know. Leviathans are just... Tricky. And time-consuming. We still have no idea how to gank their asses..."

Crowley frowned at my frustration.

"Don't think about that now. Let's just enjoy each other's company," he said.

"You're right, as always," I smiled gratefully.

Crowley wrapped me in his arms, a little awkwardly at first. I took in the smell of his cologne, which was way too expensive. Everything he owned was worth more than me. Crowley looked down at me, a funny look on his face.

"What?" I frowned.

"What's this?" He gently touched a cut on my forehead from last night.

"Just a cut, why?" I asked.

"He hurt you," Crowley furrowed his brow.

"Yeah? Pretty much everyone does. Sometimes even my own brothers."

"He hurt you. I'm going to torture him even more, the dick."

"Crow, you don't have to, everyone-"

"Misha, that doesn't condone it! I have just as much desire to murder your brothers as the people who've tried to kill you!"

I looked at him, a little surprised he cared so much. It was a surprise, but I liked it. It felt good that he cared what happened to me. I kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?" Crowley asked, still a little worked up.

"Thanks. For caring," I smiled.

"Well, I'm supposed to. Here," he touched the cut, healing it instantly.

"Thanks..."

"Of course."

He leaned down to place a kiss on my lips. His beard tickled my face. I pulled back, laughing a little.

"What is it now?" he sighed.

"Your beard tickles," I grinned.

"It does?" Crowley frowned.

"No, I like it! I like it a lot," I poked his cheek.

"Oh, good. I would have cut it if you didn't like it."

"Don't ever cut it! It makes you look even more handsome!"

Crowley smiled, kissing me again.

"Call me soon. I missed you," he said.

"I missed you too. I'll try to call tonight," I agreed, kissing him yet again.

When I blinked, he was gone, the weight of his arms around me suddenly lifted from me. I shivered. It was cold now. I made my way back inside.

~

Sam, Dean, and I were walking down the hall, leaving Becky's apartment when she called after us.

"Wait, Misha! I wanna talk to you before you go!" She called.

We stopped. Sam and Dean looked at me quizzically. I shrugged. I wondered what she wanted too.

"Ok!" I nodded, "You guys go ahead, I'll meet you at the car."

Becky waved me into her apartment and closed the door. My fight or flight was going into overdrive. I didn't think she could do anything to me, but my hand moved closer to the gun under my jacket.

"Who were you really talking to out there?" She asked.

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

"None of your friends from before ever call you."

"Becky, I don't-"

"Misha, I read all the books."

I shut my mouth trying to think up a feasible lie. Becky crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, giving me a Mom look, even though I couldn't remember my mom's. I gulped. She wouldn't take a lie. I couldn't cover anymore. I sighed.

"Fine. It wasn't a friend," I admitted.

"Then who was it?" Becky was immediately intrigued.

"It... It was, um... My boyfriend," I tried to avoid saying Crowley's name.

"Oh! Who is it, who is it? No, wait. Let me guess... Ummm... The only allusion to romance in the books was between you and Crowley, so... Is it?" She gave me a sly look.

"How the hell did you-"

"Oh, come on! The chemistry was so easy to pick up on. You two are bad at hiding! Besides, I heard a guy out there like you were talking face to face."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah. So. Give me the details. I wanna know everything!"

I laughed a little. Becky watched me intently, waiting for me to open my mouth. I sighed.

"Well... We've been dating for a couple years. I dunno. It seems pretty obvious that we'll get married someday, if I live long enough."

"And Sam and Dean don't know."

"I don't want them to know. It was bad enough when I changed my name. At least Dad isn't here anymore."

"They'll get over it. I know they love you, they just... Have some prejudice. When they see that your happy, they won't mind."

"I highly doubt that. I'll be the queen of the bastards that killed our mom. But it doesn't matter. I can still cut them out if I have to."

"But you shouldn't have to! A lot of people would kill to have a sibling relationship like you guys."

"Um. We did."

Becky snorted.

"What I'm saying is give it some time. Don't cut them out if they give you grief up front," she said.

"I know. I'll try. Thanks, Becky," I grinned.

"Anytime! Good luck with Crowley!" she waved as I moved to walk out.

"Yep!" I waved back.

My brothers were waiting for me, leaning against the hood of the car. They looked up.

"What took so long?" Dean asked.

"Eh, talking relationship advice," I shrugged.

"What, like, don't roofie your crush?" Sam joked.

"Yeah," I laughed.

"You know, I said some crap when I was all dosed up," Sam cleared his throat.

"Oh? She wasn't your soulmate?" Dean teased.

"Shut up. I mean, I do need you guys watching my back. Obviously," Sam said.

"You know, for a whack-job, you really pulled it together," Dean looked up at Sam.

"You two be nice," I gave them my best "mom" look.

"But it might be nice. Y'know, you two have been looking after me pretty much your whole lives. It might be nice to take a break, step back a little," Sam looked between us.

"Nah. I don't know any different," I gave Sam a playful punch in the side.

"Alright, I was just saying!" Sam laughed.

"Yeah, get in the car, hippie," Dean shived him a bit.

I laughed. My brothers were my life. I just hoped they would stay that way when I added Crowley into the picture...

[epic-summaries]

Section Alternative number 12 Which house would Perceval go?

This was longer than expected. Also bonuses for Galahad, Mordred, Gareth and Clarissant’s houses.

It was like a moment in a book. Perceval’s mother admitted that they were wizards. They came from a long line of wizards. That was so awesomely cool. He had been living in secret all his life and one summer an owl comes and drops off a letter to tell him he was accepted to a wizarding school! Like Oh My God, that was so awesome! Perceval was so excited to be shipped off to wizarding school! He didn’t even noticing that his mother kept asking him if he wanted to skip wizarding school and be a normal muggle kid. She lost her husband and three sons in the wizarding war with Voldemort. The other son died in a werewolf attack. Then other died trying to tame a dragon. Yet another son disappeared without a trace. And the last one did die in war because he was pushed into the lake and drowned by mermaids. Perceval promised his mother that he would be safe. He wasn't going to die before her.

Perceval sat in the back of the Hogwarts Express in his very own cabin. He hoped he would find tons of friends but he must have picked a terrible cabin because no one was coming to sit with him. Oh well, he had more room for himself.

He lied on the floor examining every detail of his new wand. It was pretty big and very fun to play with.

Perceval bolted up when someone opened the door. The person looked about eleven, like Perceval. He looked Middle Eastern. He had messy brown hair and long fingers clutching a very large book. His eyes were glued to that book.

The boy totally ignored Perceval and sat down.

Perceval didn’t know what to do. Should he stay on the floor examining every inch of his wand or should he say something?

Perceval looked at the door and then back at his cabin mate. Maybe he could make a new friend!

“What are you reading?” asked Perceval. He sat down beside the boy. He didn’t know the definition of personal space.

“The Bible,” said his cabin mate dryly.

Out of all the books in the world, that was the last one Perceval expected. “Cool.” Perceval jumped to the other side of the cabin. He looked out the window. He tapped his feet and swayed left to right. Okay, he was bored. He shot up and yoinked his cabin mate into a handshake. “I’m Perceval by the way, but my friends call me Percy. Well, my mom calls me Percy.” Stupid, stupid. Why did he just admit he didn’t have any friends.

His cabin mate looked at him in utter shock. Perceval never actually stopped shaking his hand. “Ummm… I’m Galahad.” It came out like he was still in shock.

“That’s a such a cool name.” Perceval beamed when saying that.

“You can stop shaking my hand now.”

“Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean… well… no… okay sorry.”

Galahad went back to reading the Bible.

“Is this your first year too?”

Galahad said without looking from his book, “Yes.”

“It’s my first year.” Wait, he already admitted that. “Anyway, my mother never told me I was a wizard.” Where was Perceval going with this? He kind of lost track of his thoughts.

Perceval rambled on and on. Galahad was totally ignoring him. Eventually, they were able to buy some sweets. Perceval gave some candy to Galahad. Perceval got such a big scare when his chocolate frog jumped on his face and hopped off. He was stuck with a trading card. Gawain, Auror Extraordinaire. This was when Perceval’s bright personality finally got through to Galahad and Galahad started to talk back. Perceval sat right beside him.

“I’m going to be on one of these cards,” said Galahad through bites of his chocolate frog.

“Really for what?”

“Finding the Holy Grail.”

“That’s so cool.” Perceval whipped out his wand. He was a little too excited and the wand started to bleed from the tip. Drops of blood splattered all over the window. “Oh sorry. Ummm. My wand bleeds from the tip from time to time, it’s a weird quirk.”

“You are full of weird quirks.”

“Anyway,” Perceval ignored what might have been an insult or a compliment. It was probably more so a neutral observation. “My wand was dipped in the Holy Grail.”

Galahad’s eyes widen. “Really?” said Galahad in total seriousness. Perceval nodded vigorously. “Mine too. It just doesn’t bleed.”

Perceval’s whole face brighten. “Our wands are twinsies! I showed you mine, you show me yours. We can compare.”

Galahad showed Perceval his wand. He even let Perceval touch it!

The cabin door opened again.

A thirteen year old boy stood there in his robes. If Perceval remember what his mother told him about the Hogwarts houses, the boy was a Hufflepuff. He had a yellow and black tie and a yellow crest with a honey badger on it. Perceval thought he looked a lot like the guy on his chocolate frog card. They had the same chin, cheek bones and green eyes.

“Is anyone sitting there?”

Both boys shook their heads. Perceval gave Galahad his wand back.

The boy let in an orange tabby cat and then followed her inside. He sat at the other end of Galahad and Perceval.

“I’m Perceval and this is Galahad.” Perceval patted Galahad’s shoulder. Galahad moves Perceval’s hand away.

“I’m Gareth.”

“What brings you here?” asked Perceval.

“My brother thought I was too uncool for him and kicked me out.”

“That’s not nice,” said Perceval.

“Mordred is pretty image conscious and it’s his first day.”

“Still not nice.”

“He’ll grow out of it… I hope.”

Gareth looked down at the nonexistent crests on Perceval and Galahad’s robes. “If ever you think he’s being mean, talk to me. I’ll talk to him for you.” Galahad didn’t take any mind. Perceval nodded. “First years, I have some tips. The House Elves are hard workers and always be nice. Get a map. And Headmaster Kay is ummm... he has your best interest at heart.”

Perceval wondered what that meant. But honestly, he stopped paying attention after the words House Elves. “House Elves?”

“He was raised in the muggle world,” explained Galahad.

Gareth nodded. “Yeah, a lot of them work in the kitchen and they are very hardworking. They take a lot of pride in what they do. Sometimes they will let you help them make the food.”

Perceval took out a notebook and wrote Gareth’s tips down.

“Oh!” exclaimed Gareth. His cat, jumped off of his lap. “I thought I recognized you. You’re Lancelot’s boy!” Galahad blushed. “How is having such a brilliant father? When Gawain brought him to dinner a few nights ago I couldn’t help but stare at him. He is brilliant and so handsome and the way he speaks is brilliant.” Gareth turned to Perceval. “He’s dad is the only auror better then my brother, Gawain. Seriously, how is being HIS son?”

“Oh, he’s ummmm.” Perceval watched Galahad fumble his words. “I don’t see him very often. My mother and grandfather raised me.”

“Still, just the thought to have the same blood as The Lancelot!”

Galahad started to look melancholic. “Yeah.”

For the rest of the trip, Gareth answered all of Perceval’s questions, from the werethere really unicorns and centaurs in the forest? The answer was yes. To the if he accidentally flushed someone’s toad down the toilet was there a spell to retrieve it? The answer was that had never happened in the history of Hogwarts. To the if a unicorn found its way into the dining hall could Perceval ride it? The answer was no, much to Perceval’s disappointment. To the is there a bathroom on every floor? The answer was yes.

When they arrived at the station, Gareth helped Perceval and Galahad with their stuff. He was especially willing to help Galahad. He even pointed out his younger brother Mordred to them. Mordred was surrounded by other first years. He was going to be the popular kid.

Perceval and Galahad stayed together. Perceval was so wide eyed. Everything was so magical and there were so many people. He saw people riding on brooms. He saw people magically bringing their trucks with them. He saw someone selling potions that would turn you into a frog. Perceval may have almost bought one. Galahad saved him from that.

He saw carriages magically flying on their own. Perceval couldn’t wait to fly in that. Sadly, he and Galahad were ushered to the boats. They were boats that moved magically but they were still just boats. Perceval wanted to fly.

“Isn’t there a giant squid?” asked Perceval. Perceval felt like it may be dangerous to be in a small boat on that lake in the dark with a monster in it. “Are we going to be able to see it?” Yeah, he just wanted to see it.

“It’s too dark to see it.” Oh yeah.

Perceval still watched for the giant squid but only after he was wowed by Hogwarts Castle. Oh My God, it was happening! This was so amazing!

Galahad’s arm hurt from Perceval’s fanboying out and grabbing his arm.

Perceval’s jaw dropped again when they were shown the entrance. It was so huge! And medievalesque. And just indescribable. Perceval thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest and fly away, he was just that amazed.

Perceval’s head was jerking around looking at everything. Pictures that were alive! Like what?! How? Perceval needed learn about to do that! No way, there were ghosts. Like real life ghost. Well they had lost their lives, whatever you understand Perceval.

The first years were stopped in front of these huge closed doors by a woman. They could hear the crowd from the other side. It sounded like heaven to Perceval. He was no longer alone with just his mother. He was with people. This was going to be fantastic.

The woman in front of the door was tall and very thin. She had long light brown hair which dropped to her waist. Her eyes were same as Gareth. They must have been related.

“Students,” yelled the woman with a commanding voice. Every single person stopped talking when they heard her. Perceval didn’t know if it was magic or that was just her. “I am Professor Morgan.” Perceval thought he remember Gareth saying that was his aunt. Perceval’s senses were in overdrive and he couldn’t remember everything. “We are about to open the doors and let you in the great hall. Here, the Sorting Hat will sort you in either Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Now, do not sit down until you are sorted. I will call your name one by one and only after you are sorting, then you will sit with your new housemates. After that you will eat and we will set you up in your dormitories. Do not worry about your belongings because we will take care of them.”

The doors opened behind Professor Morgan.

Galahad’s arm started to hurt again when Perceval grabbed it. A ceiling that looked literally like the night sky. How was that possible? And look at all the students. And look at the professors. And look at just wow, everything was just wow. Perceval did squill many times that night.

Perceval saw a student fall or maybe he was pushed but that didn’t matter because the student was getting left behind. So, he turned around and helped the kid up.

“Hi, I’m Perceval.”

The kid blushed and made some hand movements. Perceval realized he was mute and speaking in sign language.

“Hi, Tom Thumb.” The student’s eyes brighten at that. “Come with me and Galahad.” Galahad waved. Perceval took Tom’s hand and helped him back up.

Professor Morgan stopped the students before the long table full of the professors. Some first year students waved at siblings. Gareth waved at Mordred from the Hufflepuff table and some girl from the Ravenclaw table did the same. Perceval thought he remembered Gareth saying he had a sister in Ravenclaw.

Professor Morgan went up to the professor table and sat on Headmaster Kay’s left. On Kay’s right was a handsome man with brown skin and one hand. Professor Bedwyr was the name Gareth told them.

Wow, Headmaster Kay looked young for a Headmaster. He was the youngest Headmaster in Hogwarts history. Also, probably the biggest. The man honestly looked like a warrior prince from the Early Middle Ages or Thor. He did not look like a Headmaster. But at last, he was. Rumour had it it was because his brother, the Minister of Magic, Arthur or as Gareth called him Uncle Artie, put him there to spy on the young new talent. Gareth assured Perceval and Galahad that was not why Kay was Headmaster and that he was actually good.

The Headmaster got up and all the other students sat down. Perceval felt like he should have been sitting down.

“Welcome!” Perceval thought he sounded like Thor too. “Now, you have made it to Hogwarts. You were worthy enough to get a letter. But don’t think that’s all you have to do. Oh no. You must work! And you must be strong. You will be rewarded and you will be disciplined when needed. I may be hard on you but that’s because you were worthy enough to get an acceptance. So, we know you are great and we want you to be your best. You are in the best fucking…” Professor Bedwyr waves and mouthed language. Headmaster Kay cough. “You are attending the best wizarding school in the world. If you don’t want to put in the work and be the very best, why are you here? Go to muggle school and don’t waste our times.” The students all looked at each other awkwardly. “Now, some rules. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden, it’s not called that for no reason. If we find you sorry lots daring each other to go in, we will punish you not because we are no fun. We don’t want to see you ripped apart by giant spiders.” Perceval blanched at that. “The Lake is not for swimming. You will be eaten by something or be drowned. We don’t want you idiots to die. Then, we have to talk to your parents and it’s a whole mess with the media. Kids, don’t be fucking idiots and die on us.” Apparently Perceval’s promise to his mother was going to be harder to keep then he thought. Professor Bedwyr mouthed language again. “Be nice to the staff, they work hard. Okay, time for the Sorting Hat, let’s see where these runts go.”

“That was unexpected,” muttered one the other first years.

“He’s cool,” muttered another first year.

“Did Headmaster Kay get hotter during the summer? Or is it just puberty talking?” muttered a student sitting at the Slytherin table.

Professor Morgan got some weird ancient looking a hat and put it on a bench.

Perceval went on his tippy toes to see the hat. He then almost fell down when it started to sing. What?! A talking hat! So cool. Perceval didn’t hear the beginning of the song. He did hear, “Listen to your Headmaster because he knows best.” And, “Are you brave and daring? Like the lion you may roar. Are you loyal and patient? Like badger you may be fierce. Are you wise and strong of wit? Like the eagle you may fly. Are you ambitious and cunning? Like the serpent you may slither.”

It was so much fun for Perceval. This world was amazing. He didn’t think he could ever get used to this.

Professor Morgan walked to the front with a scroll. “When I call out your name, come up to be sorted. Elaine Astolat.”

Names were called while Perceval waited for his own. But first Galahad’s name was announced. Everyone whispered when Galahad du Lac was named. Perceval heard the name Lancelot a lot. Wow, Galahad’s dad must have been very famous.

Galahad sat down in the seat and before the hat was on his head it yelled, “Gryffindor.” The Gryffindor door table cheered like crazy. When Galahad sat down, and right away some students started asking him about his father.

The next person who got a lot of mumbling was Mordred Lothian. Gareth wooed.

Like Galahad, the hat barely touched his head and yelled, “Slytherin.” Perceval heard someone say he must be like his mother.

Eventually, and what felt like a lifetime, he heard Professor Morgan yell, “Perceval Pefrawg.”

Perceval went up. Oh he was so nervous. All the houses sounded really cool.

Perceval sat in the stool. Wow, everyone’s eyes were on him. Why was everyone moving? Oh Perceval fell off the stool. He saw Headmaster Kay facepalm. Perceval got back up and smiled. Was his wand bleeding again? Stop bleeding wand. Professor Morgan put the hat on his head. And it didn’t say a house right away.

“Hmmm interesting,” said the hat. “You may not be strong of brains but you do have the largest heart I have seen.” Did the hat just insult him? “I can’t see you in Ravenclaw or Slytherin.” Perceval nodded. “You very loyal and dedicated. You are kind. But you are also brave and you rush into things without thinking. You value helping others beyond anything else. You want people to like you but not if you can’t be yourself. Hmmm. Now which house will you thrive in the most. Which house will nurture you? Which house will make you the man you are meant to be?” Perceval fidgeted on the stool. “You are meant for great things. And you will need a friend.” The Sorting Hat thought. “Gryffindor!”

Perceval hopped out of his seat. The Gryffindor table clapped. Not as hard as they did for Galahad but they did clap. Gareth clapped also. Perceval ran and sat beside Galahad. He put his hand up for a high five. Galahad stared at him unblinking. Perceval took Galahad’s hand and high fives himself with it.

They became best friends and found the Holy Grail with the help of Professor Bors Jr. but that’s a story for a different day.

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt1 Ep12

CW: The usual (stress, anxiety,anger)

A/N: Another good old Q and A

W/C: 1994

So hey, I feel like I’ve gotten away from my original purpose here. Y’all have been extremely supportive in the messages that you have sent me regarding the content of my last few episodes, but I really want to hear from y’all. 

I have had the opportunity to let you guys send me recorded questions. And I have to say, I really love hearing your voices. Y’all sound so cute to me. But, anyway, I have your questions, and I will answer them as I always have.  

Here’s the first one from @errbody.mad3: Hey, Tique! I have to say, I love listening to your show. I think that everything you do and say is amazing. There have been times that I wanted to give up, but you have kept me going with your sass, and strength. How do you do it? But, also, how are you? Just in general.

Hey, love. With beautiful people like you in the world, things can’t be so bad, right? Thank you, kindly, for listening to my crazy ass. And thank you for existing. You don’t know what it means to me to know that with everything that been happening, people like you keep pulling through and sticking it out with me.

Umm, I’m alive I guess. There is definitely a lot more going on than I have the ability to say here. Just know that I am surviving. There are some legal things that I have to deal with between me and my family (my parents in particular). I can't speak to my younger siblings at all. All communications have pretty much ceased. Outside of that, I don't have much to say. 

Oh yeah, and my parents have begun a campaign to get my show off the air. So there's that.

Ok, next question from @tko.winna876: I remember you said way back in the first show that not everybody becomes a vampire when they come in contact with the virus. Can you elaborate on that?

So…..when I was turned I did A LOT of research about what this was. There wasn't a whole lot of info at the time, but one thing was clear: everyone didn't turn. After some thought, I suppose it makes sense. If everyone turned at first contact there would be no more uninfected humans. But, I became curious about people who didn't turn. Apparently, the virus can still hide inside of an “uninfected” person for a period of time. The immune system can fight it. However, if that person becomes ill, and their immune system is compromised, the virus could become active. On average, out of 100 samples, this “reactivation” happened less than once. Similarly, with pregnant women, the chances of their babies becoming vamps were even smaller than reactivation. 

Oddly enough, white people are slightly more susceptible to the virus. But people of color still tend to contract it at higher rates. 

And then there is the population of people that just die. It is a slow and painful death. You end up bleeding out of various orifices and severely dehydrating. 

Then, obviously, there is the population that turns. Your kidneys are basically failing and you can't make new platelets, so you need to consume blood. What manner of sorcery manages to get it out of your guts and into your bloodstream is beyond my understanding. 

Most of the people who turn end up dying anyway. 

The ones that survive can live really long lives. But we aren't exactly immortal. Due to our bodies being repeatedly rejuvenated by consuming blood, we age a lot slower. Quality of blood also affects this. Drinking from alcoholics, or people with certain chronic illnesses can have negative effects on us. We may even experience a high from a drug addict depending on how recently they have used. 

The younger the blood, the better. But I am morally opposed to drinking from anyone younger than me. Just putting that out there.

So, yeah. That's what I know so far. You are always welcome to peruse the website for more info if you like. And there are several forums where older, more experienced vamps will discuss and give advice and survival tips.

Alright, I have a question from @subwaykid312: Will you ever have a guest on your show? Like actually there having a conversation with you?

Ummm, it’s an idea I have been playing with for a while now. I do want to have people come in and visit. Safety is a priority for me though, so I’m always sceptical of people wanting to meet me. Also, I would never want someone to come in if they don’t feel comfortable discussing things on the air. My ultimate goal would be to have an experienced vamp come on the show to talk about their experiences and share resources. And,, I would want to hear their thoughts on government involvement the treatment of our kind. I know that a few more experienced vamps follow my show, and I certainly want to extend an invitation to anyone who would want to participate. 

Here is another question from @lei.lei716: Hey Tique! It’s been awhile since you talked about sex and vampirism. Do you have any other advice about safe ways that we can be intimate with our partners?

Actually, yes. It’s something that has been weighing on my mind for some time. I really enjoyed a lot of the feedback I got on the practicing safe sex. Particularly, when you are infected with a contagious virus that may alter your partner’s life permanently, or kill them painfully.

I think that you should be patient. I definitely will get more in depth with safe sex, intimacy, and all that in another show. Also, just hygiene and upkeep in general seem like a good idea to discuss. Vampirism isn’t all that magical shit you see in movies. Your body still does weird things. 

Okay, one more question from @esthea.312: I remember you talked about getting punched in the face back in Ep 4. I got into a fight with another vamp, and they punched me in the face. And...um… one of my fangs fell out. I’m more than a little concerned with this. I know uninfected adults don’t grow another set of teeth. Do we get new teeth, since we got fangs?

So, this is a really good question. Yes, our teeth did grow and strengthen when we were turned. But we did not grow another set of teeth. If that were the case, then our old teeth would have been sitting on our pillows, and the tooth fairy would have left us a bag of blood as a gift. So, sadly, you will not grow another fang. However, there are some dentists that are progressive enough that they will be happy to create a new one for you. Hell, you could be like Beyonce with “diamond fangs” in your mouth. But, it will cost you a pretty penny. If you can afford it, go awf. Otherwise, try to only take photos from your cute side. 

Which actually reminds me of another situation. I’ve heard that there are some vamps that have their fangs replaced by flatter teeth. It makes them feel safer, and it’s easier to assimilate. Honestly, I have considered getting the surgery done since I don’t bite for sustenance. Then, I realized that people are always uncomfortable with my appearance. Being a big black girl with super short hair, people always feel the need to stare or offer their opinions about my health. So, there is that. At least now, they back away from me rather than trying to get closer.

Ok, one last question from @drea.ds.saint12: Do you have/know of any vamps that have dental issues? Our immune systems are stronger than the uninfected because sanguinilis kicks our systems into overdrive so that it doesn’t have to share us with other illnesses. Our teeth (and bones in general) strengthen a lot when we turn, but I have seen some vamps with rotting teeth. How is that possible?

Well, upkeep is still important. We are still susceptible to bacterial infections and such that can eat away at us. Fungi, and things like that, can still settle in us. The biggest difference between us and the uninfected are that we heal quickly. So, we can still contract infections, but our bodies fight them off faster. 

I know that wasn’t the best explanation, but think of it this way: If we develop an infection, the bacteria/fungus can live on us or in us, but the moment it starts to hinder our ability to function, sanguinilis kicks in and beats it’s ass. That means that, yes, our teeth can rot and we can get rashes and such, but they end up being minor inconveniences. 

Other viruses aren’t tolerated at all. It wants us to survive for a long as possible, and when that isn’t possible, it makes us infect others. It’s vain, but it isn’t stingy. It loves to share.

Alright! So that’s it for the Q and A session, but I did have other updates for y’all as far as our local government is concerned. 

Apparently, there is a vote in the works. The city council is trying to decide if underage vamps should be allowed to attend schools. Now, shortly after the discovery that vampirism was real, there was a push to test everyone who worked/attended schools where the students were under the age of 18. Fortunately, the vast majority (and I mean like 99.99%) of students under the age of 18, and their teachers came up as negative for sanguinilis. In fact, the largest population of infected people came up in the laborers that clean and cook in schools (at less than 3% infected). 

So, at the very worst case scenario, 97% of people who work in educational spaces that taught children under the age of 18 were uninfected. Keep in mind that “infected” in this case means that they were carrying the virus, but weren’t necessarily a vampire. That percentage was less than 1%. And those few cases were all night janitors who never actually came into contact with students. 

But, that was all it took to get parents up in arms. And understandably so, considering the alternative possibility that someone might end up taking a bite out of your child while they learn the alphabet. 

The “vamp ban” as it was termed tried to encompass college campuses as well. But, there is way too much money that goes into have college students around. And private institutions fought against letting the government make that decision for them. All the lobbying and city hall shout fests are what led to things like the testing they are doing on campus here. 

The vote will take place next Tuesday. So, however you feel about vamps existing, get into the ears of your representatives, and let them know exactly how you feel. 

Other updates: I got my results back from the nurse’s office. My results were exactly what you would expect. They came with a strong recommendation that this school may not be the best one for me. But, so far, they can’t legally expel me. It doesn’t matter anyway. I already made the moves I needed to make to ensure that I won’t have to still be there come next fall semester. 

So, fuck this school.

Lastly, I keep getting all these random threats, and all I can say to y’all is this: the more lives I save by speaking about our issues, the better I feel. And you can shove an entire bag of dicks right down your throat. I literally don’t care what you have to say about anything I do.

Ok, so that is it for today. 

I love you all endlessly. Please stay moisturized and hydrated. 

Look out for one another,

Love Tique.

[anneshirleywasmychildhood]

Diana and Gilbert

(Not the ship!)

I just like the title. It’s a Shirbert fic, don’t worry. 2k words.

Diana wanted to stay behind after church had officially ended. She hadn’t had confessions in a while, and wanted to confess how she had been feeling very vain lately.

“We will wait for you,” her mother said.

“There’s really no need,” Diana insisted. “It will be a while until the priest is free, so you should probably leave now. I will walk home afterwards.”

Her parents agreed, also wanting to get Minnie Mae home soon since her patience was running thin. Like Diana predicted, Father Thomas was cleaning up after the service was done, with Gilbert, and it took him a while to get to confession. He heard her, and said that vain thought were common at her age when girls realised that their looks were the only thing that was important because it was the only way to get a husband. Internally, Diana thought of how feverishly Anne would have objected to that. Anne would have told the old man how girls could be anything they wanted to be, and that she prayed that her future hubsand wouldn’t like her for her looks, but her brain and personality. Still, Diana wasn’t as brave as Anne, so she agreed to 5 Hail Maries and left the confession box.

Gilbert had finished around the same time and she was. He looked at her curiously. “What are you still doing here?”

“Confession,” Diana confessed. “You?”

“Helping around the church because having a priest as a reference will for sure get me into medical school,” he said as they left the church together. They stood on the front steps and talked for a while.

“Here I thought you were doing it out of your obligation as a good christian,” Diana joked.

“Nope!” Gilbert joked back, “But I’d be glad to walk you home, just to make sure you are safe.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Diana said, as they walked in the direction of Diana’s house.

“How’s your family?” Gilbert asked.

“They are well. Healthy,” Diana said.

“And your sister?” Gilbert asked. “Just as annoying as ever?”

“It seems like she can’t get any more irritating, yet everyday she finds a way.” They were both laughing at that. “How’s Bash? And Mary?”

“They are well,” Gilbert said. “Enjoying married life. They’re so in love, you know? Like, every time Mary walks in, Bash smiles like it’s the first time he’s seen her. I want that. That kinda love. It’s so perfect, and simple, and peaceful.” Something in Gilbert’s eyes told Diana he had a specific girl in mind.

And something in Diana’s smile said that he knew just which girl it was. “How’s Anne?”

Gilbert chuckled softly. “I’m not in love with Anne.”

“Oh?” Diana held up an eyebrow quizzically. “You don’t think about her when she’s not there? You don’t find yourself admiring her from across the room? Or concocting any excuse to visit Green Gables just so you could talk to her?”

“Ok, Ok, I love Anne,” Gilbert confessed. “But I’m not “in love with Anne” because that would imply that it’s mutual which it’s most certainly not.”

“I wouldn’t go that far," Diana said.

“Wait, she loves me?” Gilbert was suddenly so hopeful, so filled with optimism and joy.

“I wouldn’t go that far either,” Diana said quickly, crushing Gilbert’s hopes just as quick as she made them. “I would say that she’s neither here nor there, but that she could go either way. You have to be carful,” Diana instructed him. “If you move too fast, before she’s ready, she will be terrified and run off and you’ll lose her. I know you are impatient, but you have to keep doing and nothing more. Wait for her to realize she likes you, first. After that, make sure that when you make the first move, you don’t actually move. Wait for her to kiss you, believe me. She often talks about how barbaric and arbitrary it is to have the man kiss the woman but never the other way around. She loves to make the first move, like when she kissed Cole.”

“She kissed Cole?” Gilbert asked as his brain went into overdrive, freaking out as it tried to process this news.

“On the cheek,” Diana specified quickly, and Gilbert breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank god,” Gilbert quickly prayed. “So, do you know if she’s actually kissed anyone?”

“No,” Diana said.

“You don’t know?” Gilbert started to freak out again.

“No, I do know. She hasn't kissed anyone.” Diana tried to assure her friend.

“Stop scaring me like that,” Gilbert said, smiling. “Your going to give me heart attack.”

Diana smiled as well. “I wouldn’t want to do that. I would like Anne to have a husband who’s going to stick around.”

Gilbert’s smiled changed. He wasn’t smiling at a joke, but at the idea of being Anne’s husband. Specifically, Anne’s best friend in the entire world to give him her blessing to marry her. Sure, he had been thinking about marrying Anne for a while, but that was just his only personal imaginings. Knowing that Diana felt the same, that gave his daydreams a certain level of legitimacy that they had never had before. He like that. “I promise I will,” Gilbert swore to Diana. “I want to be with Anne as long as possible.”

Diana nodded. “I’ll hold you to that,” Diana promised in return.

———

The next day at school, Gilbert had early hung up his hat when he was created by a swarm of boys.

“Ummm… Hello?” Gilbert asked, unsure what it was all about.

“Given up on Anne, I guess,” Billy said.

“What? No.” Gilbert said instinctively. “Well, not no. But I’m waiting. What’s this about?”

“So you decided to get another girlfriend to hold you over till Anne says yes?” Billy’s friend Sam said.

“Bold, especially going out with Diana,” Billy’s other friend Maxwell said.

“Diana?” Gilbert was confused.

“Yeah, Rachel Lynde said the two of you walked home together an that you were very chummy,” Moody explained.

“Well, yeah we walked home together, but it was just as friends.” Gilbert tried to explain.

“Sure,” Billy said winking at Gilbert.

“And wait, how do you all know about me liking Anne?” Gilbert asked.

“Umm, everyone knows about you liking Anne,” Charlie offered.

“Does Anne?” Gilbert worried.

“She’s the only one who doesn’t,” Moody informed him, “but the rest of us have a betting pool to see how long it will take you two to get together.”

“What! I feel violated! And… Strangely intrigued. What are the odds? Can I see?”

Billy showed him into the school’s side room where various dates, odds, names, and amounts of money were written on a black board. “This is… very detailed.” Was all Gilbert could say.

Across the school, Ruby was crying as Diana assured her it was nothing romantic. Anne, however, had a different reaction. She was still, a bit too still. Her eyes were fixed on the floor as she tried to realize why there was a strange pain in her stomach. What was this feeling? Whatever it was, she didn’t like it and wanted it to go away.

“Anne?” Diana asked, bringing Anne out of her day dream. “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine,” Anne said, smiling, but for some reason she felt like she was lying to her friend.

Still, they had class like normal, but Anne kept glancing over at Gilbert. She couldn't explain why, but the knot in her stomach got tighter every time she looked at him. Maybe she could figure it out by following it, like when she would play Hot and Cold with Diana. But she didn’t like this. It made her feel bad about herself, for some reason. She wish she could figure it, but didn't know where to start. Instead she pushed it out of her mind the best she could

At lunch, she noticed that Gilbert was alone in the coat room. After a quick moment’s deliberation, she told her friends that she thought she left an apple in her coat pocket and that she was going to go get it. She entered the coat room, and glanced at Gilbert. He was eating over an open book. Smart. It was a lot quieter out here than it was in the main room. Gilbert was smart, wasn't he. He was also pretty handsome, reading that book.

Woah. What? Where did that thought come from? Anne quickly averted her gaze, an walked over to her coat with determination.

This caught Gilbert's attention. He looked up with a soft smile. “Anne,” he exhaled.

“Gil,” Anne said. “-bert,” Anne corrected herself. She quietly shamed herself as she rifled though her coat pocket for and apple that wasn’t there. Gilbert was eyeing her suspiciously. “Where’s that apple,” she whispered under her breath to satisfy his natural curiosity. While she did this, she rolled her eyes at herself again. Get on with Anne, she told her self. “Umm, so, uh, Gilbert. I uhh, heard this crazy rumour that you walked home with Diana.”

Gilbert closed his book to talk to her, but not before placing a bookmark. “And I thought Miss. Stacey thought you a lesson about rumours,” he joked with her.

“Well, is it true?” Anne asked, not really in a joking mood.

“Yeah,” Gilbert confirmed. “We had a lovely walk together.”

“Of course,” Anne said, a bit to quickly. As she continued, she got more and more worked up. “Diana is a wonderful girl, the kindest and most beautiful person alive. You should of course try to be friends with her. I found my friendship with her infinitely rewarding, I’m sure you will find yours to be the same. Anyone would be lucky to walk her home, I’m so happy for you and wish the two of you all the happiness in the world. God, where is that apple!” She buried her face in her coat to hide her burning cheeks.

Gilbert was a little taken aback by this. “Umm, Anne? Are you… jealous?”

“What!” Anne withdrew from the coats with a fury. “Why would I be jealous!” she exclaimed, a little too loudly, turning the heads of those nearest the coatroom. “I have nothing to be jealous of! I don’t have a crush on you! I’m not Ruby, or any of the other girls who fall for your whole “attractive academic” look! I don’t like you like that, ok!”

Gilbert bit his lip to stop himself from smiling to much. “I meant,” he tried to clarify, “are you jealous I got to hang out with Diana, not that Diana got to hang out with me.”

Realization dawned on Anne’s face. For some reason, she just assumed he was talking about himself, he didn’t consider that it was about her friend. She was so embarrassed! She looked back, and everyone was looking at her and Gilbert. They had heard her outburst, and his correction. “I…” she tried to finish the thought, but couldn’t. They were all looking at her, waiting to see how she would respond. She looked back down at Gilbert, how was also waiting for her to say or do something. “I…” She didn’t like this, everyone staring at her, having to think on her feet. She didn't want to say anything to Gilbert, she needed time to sort things out for herself.

So, she ran. She turned on her heals, heading out into the crisp fall air. Her legs pushed against the ground, bringing her farther away from the coatroom with the horrible situation. She pushed back against the rising embarrassment and continued running as fast as she could.

[confessionsofayounglatina-blog]

Hi HALLO, my name is Zayra and I am homesick now and I miss my mom and my boyfriend... can someone plz send them and a box of jalapenos?

When the newness and excitement of a cultural environment has really had time to wear off and you start to miss the little things you kinda took for granted back home… yeah, that’s when you can really see how much the culture you have been primarily surrounded by has turned you into this sort of "cultural bearer .”-Well, at least this seems to be my case.  

By little things, I mean things that we “engage in it at one and the same time recognize the stranger as similar and as different.” For me, it’s walking to class every day. I lived on campus and the good ol’ Trek to Fleck was 15 minutes if I kicked into maximum overdrive, but it was all through our smol, beautiful, sunny on most days, hidden Austin gem of a campus. Here, it’s not even possible for me to live on campus; the walk from my petit retirement apartment is a good 25+ minutes. I have to walk through the city, which lowkey smells like a mix of car emissions, crumbled concrete, and vinegar- not pleasant. It’s always cloudy here, and misty in the mornings, so by the time I get to class, I’m a tad sweaty, and I look like a frizz ball. YAY. ( -__-‘)

Another little thing... working/ work ethic. I had an internship for a hot two seconds here… that I ultimately had to drop. It just was not a good fit for me (something I had already done before too), and I felt really uncomfortable in the office. I have had a couple of internships back home that I really enjoyed and learned a lot from. These internships, I treated them like anyone else in the States would- like a job. Where you come in focused, ready to make shit happen, and you may be able to listen to music while you work to help you concentrate on whatever task is at hand… you know, little what we see as normal things.

LOL, they run things a little differently here I guess…  Lemme tell you what had happened boo! I sent, what I thought was a very respectful, gentle, email letting them know I would no longer be able to continue working with them… that I was thankful a for their time, and sorry for any inconvenience… ya know, the regular email you send when you’re trying to awkwardly excuse yourself form an uncomfortable situation...Yeah, I received a rather scathing response that honestly just sounded very petty. Came to find out that the man I was working under said many things that he did not like about me but one that stuck out as unusual was the complaint that I just came in and sat down and stuck a headphone in, and “was in my own bubble”… Ummm, da fuq?... yeah, that was me working and focusing on the given tasks I had to complete… Excuse me, sir, I didn’t go to play around, I went to get shit DONE. Sorry, I did not realize you wanted me to waste your time AND mine, good sir. I am a hard working 1st generation, Latina, I grew up in  Texas, y mis padres sacrificaron demasiado for me to have the opportunities that I have… So, I am sorry, you misunderstood my seriousness, my straightforwardness, my let’s get shit done attitude, my I don’t take breaks until I’m ready to leave the office for the evening, my I am in my zone trying to accomplish these things for you kinda work ethic.    

In other words, little things, like the way you or I work… yeah, there’s most def a cultural difference there… but c’est la vie, right? Guess I have been learning a few things about myself while I’m here. 1) I can come off as too serious…about my job? I have always been praised for my work ethic. I guess I do take whatever job I have serious, and I expect the same amount of respect back from my employer. 2) I usually don't get homesick… but damn, I am homesick. I swear God paints the Texas skies with so much more grandeur than he does here. I miss real flavor in my food, spice and everything nice, my mom, and my wonderful boyfriend. 3) Looking back at what my brothers, sisters, mother, and father have told me about how hard it was for them to adjust to living in America- a culture and way of living so so so much different from their rural lifestyle in Mexico, I always thought I would be able to handle myself with more grace and eloquence than they did… stumble at least a little less… I have to find that I am not Wonder Woman. This shit is hard, learning French is hard, people don’t care and are lowkey kinda mean, and I'm only here temporary. I have such a deep respect for my family or really anyone that has had to go through this kind of struggle honestly. This shit is A LOT harder than you think it is.