#and is decidedly unsubtle but i like some of the lines

[bill-gates-hate-blog]

would anyone like to read my story

Zombie apocalypses are supposed to be… apocalypses. That’s what I thought until I was sixteen, when what the scientists call Opheliacordiceps was discovered.

I was raised on a ton of zombie media-- shows, books, video games, you name it. It had what appealed to every teenage boy-- the fantasy of laying down the law with your shotgun. When the Brazilian government revealed they had discovered a fungus that could reanimate the dead, I and every other misanthrope on the planet pervertedly fantasized about the collapse of society, imminent mass death, and becoming the badasses the games convinced us we’d be.

The doomsday preppers must have been real disappointed when business continued as usual.

Two things, we learned that fateful year. One, that the fungus didn’t actually do anything to you until you were already dead, and two, that we’d been in contact with it for a lot longer than we’d realized. Have you eaten a piece of fruit in the last two months? Congrats, you’re going to be a zombie when you die. Sure, getting bit accelerates the process, but the consequences are the same.

Even now, sometimes I find myself wishing that society had collapsed anyway. Humans and their damn perseverance.

I didn’t know my mother passed away until I got home from work yesterday. My daughter pointed at the TV and asked why the news was looking for Grandma. I called my boss this morning, asking for the day off so I could grieve and be with my family.

He said no.

What could I do? My daughter has to eat, so I took the bus to work.

Collections officers frequent the crematorium for obvious reasons. You can tell them apart from civilians by their tired, anxious expressions. They’re a little like paramedics. However, for Collections, a misstep will cost more than one life.

I don my gas mask.

It’s grotesque, the way the dead strain against their bonds. False people, bound to planks of solid oak, fingers thick with bloat. My job is to make sure they don’t get up.

Sometimes people come here straight from the hospital. There have been a few cases where they aren’t even quite dead yet, but are still bound and sent to the crematorium in anticipation of their death. It makes it easier on Collections, I guess.

People are often less than whole when they die, too. Sometimes Collections nails the parts to the boards in a last ditch-effort to keep them in place.

I spy one such woman. She’s been cut cleanly in half. I heard it was a workplace accident. Her hand seemed to have gotten caught in the machine too-- it’s stapled to the board, detached, straining eerily against its prison.

I scan the bodies one by one as I burn and document them. None of them have been my mom.

When I finally go on break, I’ve neutralized 36 threats.

“You’re working slower than usual, Jim. I hope I don’t have to write you up...” Johnson drawls.

“You can’t be for real,” I say through gritted teeth. “I told you my mother--”

“She’s still running around, no? They’re not dead until they go through us.”

“That’s not--”

Johnson has the gall to pat my back like he’s my friend. “Listen. I know something that’ll cheer you up.”

Despite myself, I meet his eyes.

“I’ve picked up a new hobby. If you can spare a few hours after work, I’ll explain on the way.”

“I don’t know…”

“There’ll be beer.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Good man. Now, pump those numbers up! Those zombies won’t roast themselves! Though I certainly wish they would,” he says, guffawing at his own joke.

The rest of my shift goes by without incident. I try my hardest to put thoughts of my mom out of my mind.

5pm rolls around and Johnson motions secretively to me from his car.

“People aren’t supposed to know about this kind of thing, you see. So you’ll have to keep it between us.”

“That’s fine,” I say, not sure if I’m lying.

He pulls out of the parking lot and puts on some smooth jazz.

“So Jim, what do you know about operating a gun?” he says, eyes squarely on the road.

“Huh? Um, just what I learned in college. The mandatory courses, after..”

“Not that they have any effect.” Johnson snorts.

“Yeah.”

“Well, you’ll learn today.”

“Are we going to a shooting range?”

“Eh, not quite.”

I try to pry more information out of him, but no luck.

We pull into the driveway of what is probably the biggest house I’ve ever seen. That’s a real mansion, no doubt about it…in the middle of the woods.

“You know  this guy?”

“He’s my brother,” Johnson snorts. He buzzes himself in with the thumbprint scanner.

The mansion is practically empty. Most of the furniture is white. Sometimes I’m not even sure there’s furniture there at all, if I move my eyes too fast.

“Oh hey, Dave. You brought a friend this time?” It’s a man that, unsurprisingly, looks like Johnson.

“Jim, this is my brother Cory. Cory, this is Jim. He’ll be joining us this evening.”

“Ah, I see.” Cory grins. “He’s got just the build we’re looking for, too.”

“Build?” I can’t stop myself from asking. Johnson hands me a beer.

“We need young, fit guys. Most of the people who try their hand at this kind of thing are old coots.” Cory rolls his eyes. “Wait, did you tell him?” “Oh, yeah, we’re going hunting.” Johnson says casually.

“Oh. I’ve never hunted before.” I’m not sure this is going to make me feel better at all.

Johnson seems to read my thoughts. “You’ll find this cathartic, I promise.”

I don’t answer. I just take a swig of Cory’s expensive beer.

“Sun’s about to set,” Cory notes. “They get more active at night. We should start preparing.”

“You have a gun preference?” Johnson asks as we meander our way to the shed.

“Well, I haven’t shot a lot of them.”

“Just pick something that looks cool.” Cory shrugs, pressing a button.

As the motorized door slowly slides open, I can’t help but find myself in awe of the sheer collection in front of me. It’s the decade-old violent wet dream of every teenage boy.

“Tell me, did you ever play ‘Gears of the Dead,’ Jim?” Johnson says smugly.

“Not for ten years. Wait… do you mean..?” I can’t make my mouth work.

Cory winks. “Take the shotgun. I have a feeling you’ll like it.”

Johnson himself chooses a pistol. Cory has a sniper rifle. I obediently take the shotgun off the wall, trying to remember how to load it. Something tells me the games I played as a kid wouldn’t be very accurate, and my college memories are hazy.

“Eyes up, men!” Cory says, in an approximation of a commanding voice. “Once I open this door, we’re in their territory.” He’s at the other shed entrance.

“Let’s kick some ass,” says Johnson, in the lamest way you could possibly imagine.

I just nod, and we enter the vast, gated forest.

“On my mark, gentlemen.” Cory says, closing the gates behind him.

“So… you play zombies in here. Is that it?” I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t had so many beers.

“Shh!” Johnson says.

Cory leads us further into the woods.

“Some kind of camp there,” Johnson notes.

Cory nods. He takes a metal stake from his pack, and then vaults up the tree, perching himself on a thick branch with rifle in hand. He signals to Johnson with a nod. “I’ll watch your back. You two raid for supplies.”

“This is your property.” I say in disbelief.

“Cory has the servants set stuff up here so we never have the same scenario twice.” He lights the fire nonchalantly.

Incredulously, I check one of the tents. Bullets.

I cautiously check the other tent and all of a sudden a hissing zombie launches itself on top of me, pinning me to the earth scarily close to the campfire. I try to kick it off, its deathly scent making me gag. 

“Johnson! Help!”

“Use your gun, man! Come on!”

“You have a g--!” I give the thing a swift kick in the gut before I scramble to fire my shotgun. White pain shoots through my stomach. I must have fired it incorrectly, because my ribs hurt like crazy, but the zombie reels back with pellets peppered across (and in) its chest.

Cory fires a bullet through its brain, barely missing me. It slowly falls over, searching for its head like a drunken man searches for his dignity.

“You aren’t very good at this.” Johnson says, frowning.

I slowly sit up, clutching my stomach. “I needed help!” I lift my shirt up to check the damage. It looks like this is going to bruise pretty badly.

“You needed the practice.” Johnson says dismissively.

“Hey, he did fine for his first time.” Cory says, hopping down from the tree. “Was it guarding anything?”

Johnson fires another bullet into its spine, stopping it almost entirely. “You check.”

Cory steals into the tent, coming out with a few beers and a loaf of bread. “Eh. This is alright. Did you see that headshot, Dave?” He grins.

“Ah, yes, from point blank range.”

“You still saved me, though.” I mumble. “Thanks.”

“See? He appreciates me.”

“So this is the game you play?” I say slowly.

“Jim, there are very few times when a man can fulfill his actual potential. You have to fight to feel alive in this world.” Cory says with mock wisdom. “Sometimes, Collections will miss somebody. I do society a favor by bringing those missed souls here.” He opens his arms grandly.

“...how do you catch them?” I say, stunned. ‘Usually Collections won’t rest until they find someone.”

“Hi, I own the Crematorium,” Dave says casually.

“I also make deals with Collections,” Cory nods sagely. “That one, though?” He gestures towards the now motionless corpse. “Bobby Carter. His daughter agreed to give him to me after I promised to pay his outstanding medical balance. Cancer treatment ain't cheap.”

“She…sold him?”

“You can sell anything for the right price.” Johnson said. “He was already dying. I was doing her a favor. I get to keep my hobby going, and she gets to be debt free. Win-win!” He grins.

Something boils in my gut, but I can’t figure out what it is.

“Get up,” Johnson commands, offering his hand. I don’t take it, and instead stagger to my feet. Worth it to spite him.

“Let’s keep looking. I want to find the tower before Junior gets himself killed.”

I want to tell the both of them to go fuck themselves so, so badly, but I bite my tongue.

We walk for at least thirty minutes. The brothers fight off another two zombies with ease. I don’t understand how they do it--how they can detect them near-instantly. They must have been doing this forever.

We arrive at another camp by a small creek. Obviously new and planted by Cory’s staff. Not well-worn by genuine hardship.

“Jim, here’s your chance to try again,” Johnson says haughtily. “Keep your wits about you. We’ll watch your back.”

“You got this.” Cory shoots me a thumbs up.

Johnson leans back against a tree, while Cory climbs it again with ease. I don’t want to do this anymore, but the last thing I want to do right now is lose my job, so I steady myself and make sure I’m holding the shotgun correctly this time. I walk slowly towards the camp, trying to listen for zombie noises.

I try to survey the area like I’ve seen Cory do. I’m shaking. I check all three tents. No zombies.

I wave to the brothers. “Hey! It’s all--”

Something grabs my ankle with violent force, dragging me into the water, I kick myself free and then I see the zombie’s face as I stumble and fall backwards.

“Mom..?”

Really, I should have expected this. I should have thought about this the moment I figured out the Johnson brothers were hunting zombies for sport, and that my mother had never been collected.

I can’t make myself shoot her. She’s blue, bloated with water, but it’s unmistakably her. Her leg is mangled, and her torso is just barely holding together. She’d been hit by a car, after all.

I slowly slide away, unable to find the strength to get up.

“J…” I think that’s what she said. I don’t know if she can recognize me. Could Ophelia do that?

I try to make out if she’s mouthing something. “It’s me, Mom.” Tears are running down my face. “It’s Jim. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“What are you doing, Jim! Shoot her!” Johnson yells.

She grabs onto my ankle again, and I stop crawling away. I just miss her. I just want to talk to her. “Kelsey misses you too. She’s five now. I wish you could hold her. She’s gotten so big.”

Mom opens her mouth. Is she about to say something? She pulls herself closer, using me as an anchor. Opheliacordiceps buds are sprouting from behind her ears. It reminds me of one of my favorite pictures of her from when she was young. She’s got a white flower crown in her hair, in that one.

And just like that, Johnson sends a bullet through her neck. Her body is so weak that her head flies clean off.

“No!” I yell, pouncing on the head.

“Let go of it, moron! She can still bite!”

“No! That’s my mother!” I scream. I’m so angry. I clutch the head close to my stomach.

“Jim, you’re no good to anyone dead,” Cory says slowly, hopping from his perch. “This isn’t how she would want you to go.”

“Keep her memory out of your fucking mouth!” I yell. “How many-- how many people do you have trapped in here! Do their children know? Does it matter one bit to you that you’re tearing apart someone’s family?”

My mother’s head has bitten into my arm. I barely recognize it, and hug her tighter.

“This is a necessary evil.”

“Jim, you burn these people for a living.”

“Yes! To keep people safe! Not to stroke my ego!”

“Dave, I think he’s been bit,” I hear Cory whisper.

“I’ve always hated you.” I spit at Johnson.  “I told you I wanted a day to grieve and all you do is squeeze and squeeze me until I have nothing left. So here’s the deal, you sons of bitches.” My vision is starting to fade. “I’ll play your little game… but Kelsey… everything… she needs to be taken care of. My daughter.”

Johnson turns to Cory. “Well? He’s young, and well built, and he doesn’t have any significant injuries.”

Cory nods. “He’d make a nice challenge for sure. But…”

“But what! I’m already dying!” My vision clouds with white fibers. This is the part where Ophelia grows through my eyes. It hurts so bad, but it’ll all be over soon. I won’t be here for these men to tear my body apart. At least, I hope.

“But I don’t remember negotiating that in your contract.” Johnson’s voice is sharp and cold. And then nothing.

[sometimesanalice]

Bad Idea

Summary: After being deployed, all Bradley wanted was to have a fun night out with his friends and let loose. That is until he sees the woman who broke up with him, who he still isn’t over.  At his bar. With another man. And then he is in the mood to make some bad decisions. 

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female Reader

Warnings: mutual pining, a little angst, smuttt. Minors DNI

Length: 6.3K

After being deployed for three months, Bradley had been looking forward to getting off that carrier and having a night out with his friends. Having a couple more beers than he should, kicking Hangman’s ass at pool, maybe flirting one of the many tag chasers that frequented the Hard Deck.

He wants to let loose a bit. Just for a while. 

The team is scattered around the bar. Some are hovering around the pool table, a few others hogging the dart board. He’s seated at one of the stools around the pool table, half listening to Fanboy recount some of his amusing antics during basic flight training in between lining up his shots, when he feels Phoenix nudge his arm to get his attention.

“Oh shit, is that…” she starts and trails off. 

He turns around in his seat expecting to find some friend from a former squadron or someone they went to TOPGUN with, and instead he sees you. 

The woman that he has spent the last three months trying to get over.

And you’re here in front of him looking entirely too comfortable with another man.

“Is that Zach Collins she’s with?” Phoenix asked pointedly, being decidedly unsubtle as she studies you and your date. 

“Sure looks like it,” he grunts. He lets his eyes linger on you, absorbing the shape of your curves. 

You are just as pretty as ever. The summer had been good to you, all your sun kissed skin was on display in the strappy open back top you were wearing. 

There’s a cluster of freckles on your right shoulder blade, he can’t see them from here, but he remembers their exact placement all the same. 

He feels the low pull in his stomach, not surprised in the least that you still have this effect on him. He wants to trace those straps with his fingers, wants to see if your skin is just as smooth as knew it to be.

You should be here with him.

Collins was fine. 

Bradley had worked with the engineer a few times in the past, and there wasn’t anything wrong with the guy. Except for that one time he asked one of the new female engineers to make the coffee for the team’s weekly debrief, which he was quickly put in his place for.

He was just boring as fuck. 

And apparently somehow lucky enough to have caught your eye.

“Damn, I really liked her,” Phoenix lamented, watching as your date handed you a drink, “What the hell did you do to send her into Collins arms?” 

“Thanks for the support, Nat,” he grumbles, down the rest of his beer in one go. Squeezing the empty glass a little too hard when he sees Collins checking out your ass as you leaned forward to chat with Penny above the noise of the bar. 

“But seriously, Rooster, she was so into you,” she continued as she turned back towards him, looking at him scrutinizingly, “There was no way that she would have been the one to end it with you, so what were you thinking letting her go?”

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t just bet on that.” He was regretting downing his beer, he’d need another one if Nat is going to give him the third degree.

“Hold up, she dumped you?” she asks perplexed, her eyebrows pulling together.

“Yup.” The word was flat and hollow even in his own ears.

He’d spent most of his free time during that deployment working off his feelings in the weight room. 

Instead of counting his sets, he was thinking about you and racking his brain trying to figure out what went wrong. Going over the night you broke up with him over and over again. Pushing himself until his arms shook and his legs couldn’t support the added weights. Combing through everything he could think of, only to come up with nothing. 

You hadn’t been dating that long, but you had made him happier than he had felt in a long time. And he thought he had made you happy too.  

He had been so into you.

And now you’re here at the bar he used to bring you to and standing close to Zach fucking Collins instead of being tucked under his arm.

Smiling at Zach fucking Collins instead of grinning at him.

Politely chuckling with Zach fucking Collins instead of unabashedly laughing with him. 

Bradley hated the feeling settling in his stomach as he watched you give Zach fucking Collins your full attention. He can still remember how good it felt to have it directed at him. How warm it made his chest when you turned the full force of your smile on him.

You must feel the intensity of his stare or of his wishful thinking because you turn to scan the bar, and he swears he stops breathing for a second when your eyes snag on his. The smile freezing on your lips as you hold his gaze.

If it wasn’t completely obvious before this, it’s even more clear to him that he is absolutely nowhere near being over you. And with you looking at him now, he doesn’t want to be. 

He can’t quite read the look that’s in your eyes, but it makes his gut twist with longing.

And then Zach fucking Collins is putting his hand on your bare shoulder, pulling your attention back to him. 

All Bradley knows in that moment is that he needs to talk to you right fucking now. That he wants you back.

“I need another beer,” he announces, tapping his knuckles on the table. 

“That seems like a bad idea considering who is currently occupying the bar. How about I go get the next round?” Nat suggested, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Funny you’d say that, since that’s exactly what I was thinking too.”

He had an idea coming together, he couldn’t claim it was a good one, but that wasn’t going to stop him.

“Rooster.”

“Phoenix,” he retorted, “Remember when I covered for you when you were hooking up with that civvy in the barracks? I’m calling in the favor, Nat.”

“Why do I feel like this has the potential to be a bad idea?” she muttered, shaking her head as she slid out of her chair.

As he watches Natasha weave her way through the crowd, he realizes there are a variety of ways this could backfire. But he pushes all those thoughts out of his head when he sees her striking up a conversation with the engineer, providing the distraction he needs to talk with you alone.

He saunters up to the bar, admiring your profile as he gets closer. Raising a hand to flag Penny down as he settles down next to you.

“It’s good to see you, Rooster. It’s been awhile. Another one for you?” Penny asks, and he feels you stiffen next to him. 

“Thanks, Penny. It’s nice to be home. And I’ll take a pint of the Pale Ale too, please.”

Bradley watches as Penny briefly glances at you. He gives her a small nod in confirmation as she grabs the glasses to pour the beers. 

She slides them over giving him an entirely too knowing look before turning to help another patron. 

“How have you been?” he asks as he passes you the beer, noting that your perfume hasn’t changed since he’s been gone.

“I’ve been fine, Rooster,” you say mildly. 

“You look good,” he murmurs softly. 

He’s not surprised when you that, instead choosing to make small talk since your date was conveniently occupied, “So…How long were you away?”

“Three months,” he says leaning a hip against the bar to face you.

He sees as you put it together, that he’s been gone almost as long as you’ve been broken up.

“Well, I’m glad you’re home safe. But you didn’t need to do that,” you say gesturing to the drink.

The one you are nursing is still over half full, but it feels right that he should be the one buying your drinks. 

“What’s one beer between…” he pauses for a moment, letting his gaze playfully rake over you before settling on, “Friends.”

Your eyebrow ticks up pointedly, “My ex probably shouldn’t be buying me a drink when I’m on a date with someone else.”

We don’t have to be.

“Tell me, what’s Collins bringing to the table?” he asks jerking his chin towards the dull engineer. 

He tried to swallow down the flicker of irritation that sparked when he said the other man’s name, but the frustration wells up in his chest.

“Don’t,” you say sharply, your pretty eyes flashing, “You don’t get to act jealous, Rooster. You are the one who wanted to break up with me.”

“What are you talking about?” he presses, feeling his brows knitting together, “You’re the one who broke up with me.” 

“Stop. I may have beat you to it, but I heard you talking to Jake,” your voice had gone tight, and you wouldn’t look at him, “You told him how you wanted to end it, but weren’t sure how to do it. So I did it for you.” 

This conversation was not going the way he hoped it would, and now he was more confused than ever.

“Wait, what?” he asks settling a hand on your waist to turn you towards him. He genuinely had no clue where you’d gotten that from, “I didn’t want to break up.”

“Seriously, Rooster?” Your eyes shoot back to him and he can see your temper flaring there.

Shaking your head at him in frustration, you grab his hand and pull him away from the bar to a quiet corner of the bar. 

He’d be more smug about how you’ve ditched your date for him, if his mind wasn’t all over the place trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about.

“I came out on the patio that night to see if you and Jake wanted another round, and I heard you. ‘I don’t know how to tell her, and we’ve only been together three months. It’s just too much.’ Does that sound familiar?” you questioned, raising your chin at him in a challenge.

Of course, he remembers that night. 

As if he hadn’t played it over and over.  He remembered how withdrawn you had been when he had come back inside with Jake. You ended things with him less than thirty minutes later.

And now he knows why. 

It hadn’t been him. It was a misunderstanding. A conversation taken out of context. The pressure in his chest that had been building up eases.

He can’t erase the last three months, but he can fix this. He needs to fix this.

You look so hurt, and all he wants to do is pull you to his chest. 

“I didn’t want to wait around for you to break my heart, so I made it easy for you and ended it myself instead,” your voice thick.

He is waiting for you to realize that your hand is still in his.

“I wasn’t going to end it,” he promised as he steps closer to you, squeezing your hand, “That night on the patio? I told Jake about my orders, I wanted to ask him how he had navigated the long distance with his girlfriend. I didn’t know how to tell you I was going to be shipped out last minute and gone for basically as long as we had been together.” 

“The deployment you just came back from,” you whisper, as realization dawned on your face.

He nods and searches your eyes, willing you to be back on the same page as him. He hasn’t stopped wanting you, not once since you broke things off with him. 

There is a hopefulness in your eyes for the first time since he approached you at the bar, and he’s encouraged.

And then he sees your face fall.

“I… I should get back to my date,” you mumbled, dropping his hand and looking away from him.

“I wasn’t going to end it,” he repeats firmly, ducking his head trying meet your avoidant gaze.

He needs you to hear him. 

“It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done,” you tell him quietly as you walk back to Collins where he was still wrapped up in whatever small talk Nat had been forcing on him.

“The hell it is,” he says to himself, resolve firm in his chest. 

You tried to keep up with Zach as he chattered away, you really did. But try as you might you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the propulsion system his team was developing. 

You hadn’t been back to the Hard Deck since you ended things with Bradley.

When Zach had suggested bringing you here, you balked a bit at the thought of running into any of the people you had met and befriended through Bradley. 

At the idea of being known as just his ex. 

At the possibility of seeing him again.

It had been three months, you should be over him. Hearing his name shouldn’t still make your heart stutter in your chest. Seeing him in that ridiculous Hawaiian shirt shouldn’t make you long to take it off of him.

He looked so good tonight. 

You didn’t know how it was possible, but he looks even more broad now than he did before.

Bradley Bradshaw’s baseline is handsome, but tonight it’s been a test to keep yourself from admiring the way the cuff on his shirt hugs his biceps. How the ridges of his abs stand in relief against his undershirt. Did his jeans always grip to his thighs like that?

And god, you feel terrible about thinking about him like that when you’re literally on a date with another man. But not guilty enough to stop yourself from checking him out every chance you got.

And there was no avoiding him, Bradley was everywhere. A constant reminder of just how royally you fucked everything up. 

He was already at the bar when you were planning on getting about her round. 

Hovering near the jukebox when you were about to go feed it some quarters to put a stop to the painful and unending Jason Aldean retrospective. 

Needless to say, your glass remained empty, but thankfully someone changed the music and one of your favorite bands was playing over the speakers. 

It is impossible not to feel his presence, his energy. You swear there are times you feel his heated gaze on you, the sensation of it sending pulses of electricity down your spine. 

He wasn’t going to dump you.

Bradley seemed too good to be true, so when you overheard that conversation you’d let your mind spiral instead of just talking to him. Because what else could he have been talking about other than figuring out how to end things with you?

A deployment apparently. 

He had called and texted afterwards, and you deleted every single attempt without looking. Why didn’t you just talk to him?

And you couldn’t see a way to get back to how things were with him, now that he’d seen you self-destruct in spectacular fashion. 

Why would he want to be with you after you dumped him so casually, like it didn’t mean anything. Like he didn’t mean anything to you. 

God, you were such an idiot. 

Zach had been gone for a few minutes. He went to get another drink for himself, and had apparently forgotten about it since he was engaged in deep conversation with someone you recognized as a member of his team from the introductions earlier in the evening.

You’re startled by a warm hand skimming your shoulder. Surprised when Bradley pulls out the chair next to you, his knee nudging yours as he settles into it like he belongs there. 

“How long have you been seeing him?” he asks, leaning in to your space.

“It’s our third date.”

You weren’t sure what he was playing at, but if this was going to be one of the last times you saw him, you were going to let yourself have this. Even if it was a terrible idea.

“How’d you meet?”

“As one does in the twenty-first century, on an app,” you retort, tapping a couple fingers on your phone that is resting on the table.

Truth be told, you had only installed it after a drunken Girls Night a couple weeks ago. Zach was the first person you’ve been out with since Bradley. And you were quickly learning that he had set the bar high.

“Our story is better,” he rasps, there was an unwavering intensity in way he was looking at you. 

“Well, not everyone gets a meet cute, Rooster,” you sigh resigned. 

“We did.”

You can smell faintest hint of bourbon and bitters on his breath. He told you once it’s usually his liquor of choice when he is in the mood to make some bad decisions. And you briefly wonder whether or not that’s the reason why he is drinking it tonight.

“Yes, we did,” you admit softly.

Bradley Bradshaw had literally knocked you off your feet before he figuratively swept you off of them. 

He had been absolutely mortified when he had accidentally collided with you during a game of dog fight football when you had been walking along the beach after brunch with your friends. He had all but carried you up to the Hard Deck to help clean you up and to make sure you were ok.

Concern turned into flirting, “you’re too pretty for a concussion” he’d told you. While the line was cheesy, the snug denim shorts he was wearing were decidedly not. And then flirting turned into an invitation to meet up later that day where he could properly apologize in the form of a great night out and drinks on him. 

And a couple weeks later you were spending most nights in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets and sandalwood scent. 

You feel instantly warm remembering just how good it felt to have Bradley’s strong body pressed against yours.

“Has he made you come?” 

“Jesus, Bradley!” You shoot straight up in your seat, looking around wide-eyed trying to make sure no one overheard that particular comment. Shocked by his words and the way he seemed to know where your mind had wandered. 

“Do you remember our second date?” he questioned, his voice dropping lower. He’s even closer now.

Of course, you remembered. 

There was no way you could ever forget the way he had worked you with his fingers in his Bronco parked at a scenic viewpoint along the coast. How it felt to writhe on his lap with your dress rucked up your thighs as he rasped dirty praise in your ear. 

You had never moved that quickly with anyone. Had ever felt that much chemistry with anyone. Had never wanted anyone as much as you had wanted him. Had never come as quick with anyone else.

You felt hot all over. With confusion. With longing. 

“Bradley,” you warned, it sounded weak in your own ears.

“I wasn’t going to end it,” he steadfastly tells you again for the third time this evening.

“I heard you the first time,” you snap.

You are entirely too aware of how you fucked everything up. It’s been the only thing on your mind all night since he told you.

“You sure about that?” The irritation in his voice, matching the heat in his eyes, “Then what are you still doing with him?” 

It wasn’t fair for him to toy with you like this. He said it was a beer between friends. He hasn’t said anything that makes you think he would give you a second chance. That door was closed, but it didn’t hurt any less. Not when you were still so into him.

“He’s… nice,” you mutter unconvincingly, fiddling with your coaster.

“Nice?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, Bradley. Nice.” You can hear how defensive you sound, but somewhere in the back of your mind realize that you’re having a better time arguing with Bradley than you’ve had all night with Zach.

“Baby, Collins is as bland as that gluten free bread you keep trying to trick yourself into liking.”

You can’t control the laugh that escapes you in that moment. 

Surprised that he remembers that about you, almost as if he knew about the sad sandwich you had lamented over during your lunch break earlier in the day. When you promised yourself that you’d stop buying that terribly unsatisfying gluten free bread.

The heated pressure that has been building between the two of you breaks. His eyes soften and the tension leaves his face as the corner of his mouth twitches up in a half smile.

“I missed that sound,” he murmurs, as he traces a thumb along the delicate skin of your wrist. “I thought about it a lot on that carrier. Thought about how much I missed you. Your laugh. Your smile. The sounds you made in my bed.”

Your breath catches in your throat. And for the first time that night you think there might be a chance.

You don’t know, but you’re desperate to find out. Your heart is pounding, as you open your mouth to ask the question-

“Hey, Bradshaw,” Zach interrupts, returning back to the table with a fresh drink in his hand, “I heard you just got back.”

You jerk back, surprised by just how close you and Bradley had gravitated towards each other during the conversation. How had you not noticed that your faces had been scarcely a few inches away from each other?

Bradley’s unwavering gaze is still on you. You can feel him willing you to ask the question that had been on the tip of your tongue, but you barely knew where you stood with him. 

Could barely think around him when he looked at you like that.

“Do you guys know each other?” he asks curiously, glancing between the two of you as Bradley ignores him in favor of staring at you.

“Uhm, yeah. You could say that,” you hedge uncomfortably, trying not to fidget in your seat.

“Biblically,” you hear him huff under his breath, for your ears only.

“Well, the dart board is finally open. How about we play couple rounds?” Zach suggests, settling his hand on your shoulder.  

You can tell by the way Bradley is flexing his jaw that he wants to say more. And you’re dying to throw yourself at him, to ask him if he would ever want to open that door again. 

But you had read him so wrong the first time, you didn’t trust yourself not to get it wrong again.

So you slide off the stool instead, “I’ll see you around, Rooster.”

Phoenix told him he was watching you with a stalker-like intensity, Bradley argued he was just being observant. 

“And don’t even think about sending me back in to try and distract Collins again. Frankly, I think you owe me a favor now. That guy is painfully boring,” she’d complained.

If you didn’t want him, he hoped you could figure out a way to be friends. Even if you did have history. 

And friends tell each other the truth, like when they’re dating the human equivalent of a rice cake. Or that they should forget about the rice cake completely and come back to him instead.

He noticed when your beer was getting low, and just so casually stationed himself near the bar for another chance to talk to you. But when you didn’t move for a refill, he had to resort to more drastic measures.

It had hurt him to pay for and queue up that terrible country music, but he figured it would be worth it if he could catch you by the jukebox, knowing that you hated this music just as much as he did.

But you when didn’t get up to change it as he expected you to, he’d put on one of your favorite artists instead and made his way back to his friends. Trying to figure out how else he could get you alone to talk. 

Usually he didn’t mind an audience, but tonight he didn’t want anyone else getting in between the two of you.

He thought he would finally have his moment to make you see reason and choose him when Collins had gotten waylaid at the bar, probably talking about math equations or whatever the fuck engineers talked about. 

But that conversation had only left him half hard and entirely desperate for you. And he didn’t feel any closer to getting you back than he had at the beginning of the night.

Having been banished by Jake for being “pathetically sulky”, he was sitting at the bar by himself staring into his untouched Old Fashioned. Which worked just fine for him, he wasn’t in the mood to be around anyone other than you.

Bradley wasn’t ready to be done. 

He could see it in your eyes that you weren’t ready to be done either, but he couldn’t figure out why you were holding back. He thought he had been clear that he still wanted you. 

Now that you knew it had all be a misunderstanding, he’d respect your decision if you didn’t want to be with him. But he needed to hear you say it. To tell him to his face.

You couldn’t actually think that Collins was a good match for you. You deserved so much better than that guy. 

And he wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you turning down the hallway towards the bathrooms, and he struck with another bad idea. Probably the worst one of the night. 

Shooting up from his seat, he catches up with you in a few long strides. And then recklessly, he is grabbing you by the wrist as he pulls you with him into the Hard Deck’s storage room.

You whirl on him instantly, “Oh my god, Bradley! What the hell?”

He knows he had been toeing the line all night, but now he’s made you angry. 

And it shouldn’t turn him on as much as it does. The blaze in your eyes, the way your chest is rapidly rising up and down. Even in this dingy, dimly lit room you’re still the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

“Sorry, sorry,” he tries to soothe, putting both his hands up. “But you and I both know we weren’t finished talking before Collins-”

“Enough, Bradley. You weren’t going to end it. I get it, I messed up!” you cut him off, putting a hand to your chest, “You’re already so hard to move on from, but I don’t think I can handle anymore of you dangling what could have been in my face. It’s not fair that you won’t let me try, if you don’t want me that way anymore.”

You turn to leave and his heart squeezes in his chest. This can’t be it. He doesn’t want this to be the end.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he desperately reaches out, pulling you against his chest. You tense as he wraps his arms around the front of you, “What gave you that idea? Talk to me. Please.”

It feels right to have you in his arms again. To hold you. And you fit just as perfectly against him as he remembered.

“I feel like you’re giving me mixed signals. You called us friends at the bar, but then you tell me all the ways you thought about me while you were deployed,” you admit quietly, “I don’t know what to think. And I already ruined a good thing, I don’t want to be wrong again.”

He would prove just how serious he was about you in whatever way you wanted. In words. In actions. Or if you wanted him to fuck some sense into you, he’d happily oblige.

Nothing mattered more to him than figuring this out with you. He wasn’t going to let you slip through his fingers a second time. 

“Let me be as clear as possible, I don’t want you to move on from me. Because I still want you,” he murmurs, letting his lips skim up your neck to the shell of your ear, “I never stopped wanting you. So if you want me, baby, you’ve got me.”

“As easy as that?” you ask cautiously, almost disbelievingly.

“As easy as that,” he promises.

“Of course I want you, Bradley,” you breathe, as you settle your hand over his where they are wrapped around you, melting into him, “I didn’t want to get my hopes up, not when I still like you so much.”

“Then I’m yours,” he grins, as he nudges your temple with his nose.

He likes the way your name feels in his mouth, as he kisses your neck and whispers your name against the skin there.

“Bradley,” you whisper. 

“Does it feel like I want to be just friends with you?” he asks, pressing himself more firmly against curve of your ass.

“No,” you moan, as you lean your head back against his shoulder, where it belongs.

“You’ve got me,” he murmurs, as he presses line of kisses along shoulder, “Now show me how you want me, baby.”

Taking his left hand, you guide it up to rest against your chest. He can feel how rapidly your heart is beating under his palm, he thinks his is going just as fast. And with the other, you smooth it down the front of your body until its resting low on your stomach.

You squeeze his hands briefly, letting go of them for long enough for you to unbutton to your jeans, before encouraging his right hand to go lower.

Bradley lets his fingers lightly trail over the top of your panties. He groans, recognizing them by feel alone, “Are these the little blue ones I got you?”

“They’re my favorites.” You tell him as you arch into him, trying to get his fingers to go lower still.

“I’m the only one who gets to see these on you,” he growls as he pulls out his hand to yank down your zipper.

“Yes, only you,” you keen, “There hasn’t been anyone else since you. Only wanted you.”

He feels frenzied now as he shoves your tight jeans down to you knees.

He wants you needy and writhing for him. He wants to feel you wet for him. He wants you to come chanting his name. He imagined taking you so many ways when he was on that carrier, he almost can’t believe he gets to have you this way again.

“You’ve got me.”

It’s a promise. It’s a vow.

He thrusts his denim clad knee between your thighs to hold you open as he slides his fingers back into the pretty light blue panties he bought for you.

You cry out when his fingers connect with your clit. He works you there with deliberately slow circles, satisfied by how wet you already are for him.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he says, resting his forehead against your temple. 

“Me too. Missed you so much,” you murmur as you stroke his forearm, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bradley.”

He shushes you dropping a kiss to the crown of your head, threading the fingers of his free hand between yours, “It’s all good, baby. We’re good.”

It’s not long before you’re trying to grind against his hand, eager for more than what he is giving you. He wants to draw this out, wants to tease you a little longer.

“Please.”

“Please, what?” he lightly prompts. 

“Bradley, it’s been so long,” your breath hitches when he switches up his movements of his fingers, “Please.”

“I know, baby. I promise I’ll get you there. But you’ve got to wait a little longer,” he croons in your ear, adding a bit more pressure, “Not going to let you come on my fingers when you’re still on a date with another man.”

You whine as he rubs his mustache along your neck, he feels the shiver that courses through your body. Smiling to himself that he is the one who is making you feel good, not anyone else. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” he says as he tightens the circles he is rubbing on your clit, “You’re going to tell Collins it isn’t going to work out. Then, we are going straight to the Bronco and you can ride my fingers like you did on our second date. And after you come, I’m going to take you home and show you just how much I’ve missed you.” 

The sweet kisses his is placing on your cheek are in stark contrast to his filthy promises. 

“I already did.”

“Say that again,” he demands, slowing down the movement of his fingers. 

“I already ended it,” you repeat with a whine, as your hips roll against him desperate for the release he is withholding from you.  “Told him I wasn’t over my ex. I just want you, Bradley.” 

The zipper of his jeans is almost painful with how hard he is, but he is too absorbed in the feel of you to bother unzipping himself for a little temporary relief. He’d willingly suffer as long as he got to hear your sweet whimpers and sighs at his hands.

He was yours.

“Did you delete that stupid app?” He didn’t consider himself a possessive man, but you made him greedy for more.

“Been a little busy,” you quip breathlessly, as you reach around to palm him through his jeans.

“I want to watch you delete it as you fuck yourself on my cock,” he grunts into your ear.

“Fuck,” you gasp, “Bradley.” Your hand flies up to the back of his neck, nails biting into the skin there.

You are even wetter now beneath his fingers. 

“Tell me you’re mine.” He wanted to hear it.

“I’m yours,” you pant into his neck, licking a stripe up the tendon there, “I’m yours. Now make me come and take me home.”

“Whatever you want, baby,” he promises with a grin as he redoubles his efforts against your clit. 

There’s no teasing in the way he precisely works you. 

He remembers the way you like to be touched. He knows how you’ll sigh when he rubs you up and down. How you whimper when he alternates the circular caresses against your hypersensitive skin. The way you clench when he glides rough figure-eights over your clit.

“I’m so close.” You’re trembling in his arms now.

“What do you need, baby?” he asks, switching his attentions to the diagonal strokes that always gets you there quickly.

“Just you,” you plead into the crook of his neck, “Just you.” 

You take the hand that’s been guiding the motions of your hips against his fingers, and settle it over your breast. Whining as he thumbs at your hardened nipple.

“You’ve got me, I’m yours,” he rasps softly.

And then you’re shuddering in his arms you fly apart for him. Body shaking with the aftershocks he pulls from you as he softly teases you with one gentle fingertip, as he coos sweet praise against the shell of your ear.

Bradley removes his hand from your now thoroughly ruined panties, and you spin around to wrap your arms around his neck. He tightens his hold on you as you come down, letting one hand make soothing circles on your lower back.

After you’ve caught your breath, you pull him down for a kiss. Your tongue languidly sliding against his. He’s missed having your lips on his.

“Can’t believe I got you off on my fingers before I got my mouth back on you,” he mutters against your mouth.

“I liked it,” you smile.

“Good,” he says as he helps you to pull your pants up, “Because we’ve still got a date with the Bronco and my bed tonight.”

You kiss his cheek as he redoes the top button for you.

“How do I look?” you ask as you try to fix your hair and straighten out your top.

You look like you’ve been fucked.

The smirk on his face must give away his thoughts, because you’re lightly hitting him on the chest with a shy smile before turning towards the door.

“Wait a second,” he pauses you with a hand to your wrist, “Your bow.”

You glance over your shoulder at him curiously.

The flimsy strings of your backless top hand managed to come undone. He skims a finger down the exposed skin, like he had been dying to all night, before retying it for you.

“There. You’re perfect,” he says ducking down to kiss your shoulder before opening the door for you.

He was hoping that the coast would be clear for when the made their escape, and instead he sees Nat leaning against the wall at the end of the hall looking entirely too smug for her own good.

“You owe me a favor,” she says pointing at him, before turning that finger on you, “And you, owe me brunch. Preferably with bottomless mimosas. Because I just saved both your asses from getting caught by Penny. And now I owe Jake a favor. So, you owe me big time.” She gives you both a knowing look before walking away.

You bury your face in his chest laughing.

“I’ll make us some reservations for next week,” you call out to her retreating figure, and Nat throws a thumbs up into the air not breaking her stride. And then you’re looking up at him, “Come on, let’s go. Don’t want to be late for our reservations in the Bronco.”

He grins down at you feeling lighter than he has in months as he leads you out of the bar tucked away under his arm.

Just where he wants you to be. 

Just where you’re supposed to be.

We’re saying “Yes to the Ex!”

Thanks for reading! 

You can check my other stories here!

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[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 5.02 ‘A War on Two Fronts' Reaction

Rex what on earth are you wearing?! Look what they did to my boy.

Naw, he’s got jaig eyes on the front of his chest plate. I’d love to know the story behind Rex getting his jaig eyes.

Ok, who thought it was a good idea to give Rex a jetpack?

Gymnast Rex! Look at him being all flexible and flipping about like a Jedi. Also, his little grunts/old man noises during this. 

Rex, you did not need to backflip off the tank. Sir, you are showing off again.

Ahahahahah omg, it’s an absolute 'blink and you’ll miss it' moment but after Rex leaps off the tank and just before the shot changes, you can see him brush off his shoulder. Sir, you are definitely showing off. You utter dork. I love him so much.

“We must not train terrorists.” Well, that’s going to come back and bite everyone in the arse.

Rex sounding like a drill sergeant there while they’re training the rebels. Also, hello to that jawline.

So this is where we meet Saw Gerrera. Great.

Pitting two young girls against each other over the affections of some teenage boy. How original. I thought something written in 2012 would be better than this but that’s probably looking back with far too rose tinted glasses. Or the awful goggles Rex was wearing.

Rex’s outfit would’ve been so good without those bloody googles. We were robbed.

Just paused it and the hat and earmuffs aren’t great either. And why is he wearing long socks with the pants tucked into them? Is that an aerial or view thingy on his right earmuff? What is the random patch under the long sleeved shirt on his right bicep? Are the blotches supposed to be a camouflage pattern? Ok, I revise my opinion. This entire outfit is trash. Burn it with fire.

Where on earth did Rex get this abomination of an outfit anyway? Does the 501st just have a random closet full of awful civvies clothes? Ahahah, it’s a disguise box isn’t it. 

Ok I’m now analysing Rex’s outfit way too much but oh well, here we are. What are the random pouches attached to his belt for? Why have pockets on your pants if they’re not holding anything? Now that I look at it, the chest plate really doesn’t seem to be covering a great deal. Why are you wearing 2 layers Rex? Unless the underneath layer is his blacks, then it makes more sense. And what are the holsters for your DC-17s attached to? They’re sitting on his hips but the belt is around his waist and they don’t look like they’re connected. Are they just magically connected to his person? Do ARCs just come out of training with their holsters glued to their hips? I have so many notes about this outfit.

Tangentially related outfit notes: Why does Ahsoka have to wander about in a) a boob tube and then b) a skin tight outfit with cutouts, yet Rex and all the guys are fully covered in loose clothing. Oh wait, I know why.

Ah, so Steela was the voice of reason. Of course, it’s the young girl that has to keep the arrogant, hot headed male in check. This is painfully dated, and probably explains why Saw went completely off the rails after her death.

Really not impressed with Saw. He’s arrogant, dismissive and hot-headed. That line from Steela about how he fashions himself as their leader even though no one elected him does not bode well either.

So many Jedi cloaks in this episode! I love the return of their ridiculously obvious and completely unsubtle “disguises”. 

Lmao at Obi-Wan and Anakin at the end having their serious Jedi conversation while pretending to be subtle in their cloaks. No one is falling for that boys.

“I am hopeful, Anakin. Hopeful.” How mysteriously Jedi of you Obi-Wan.

Oh, this is the planet that The Bad Batch went to in ‘Aftermath’. I thought Onderon felt familiar. It’s decidedly weird sometimes watching The Clone Wars after watching The Bad Batch. There’s a lot of moments that I didn’t understand the significance of and thus completely missed out on. Like the return of Rex in ‘Battle Scars’, Cody in ‘The Solitary Clone’ and Gregor (who I still haven’t met in TCW yet) in ‘War-Mantle’. Things like understanding exactly who Cut and Suu were in ‘Cut and Run’ and the importance of their history in TCW, especially with Rex. Even Trace and Rafa are characters from TCW, though I’ve yet to meet them either. And then there’s moments like this where a planet that is completely new at the time of this TCW episode being broadcast is familiar to me because of the backwards way I’ve watched everything. I’m definitely going to have to rewatch The Bad Batch at some point once I’ve watched all of TCW, Rebels and Tales of the Jedi to fully understand and get all the moments and references. 

Lmao of course they have the two characters that were fighting team up at the end and use the same training exercise they failed at earlier to defeat the droids. I know it’s an “animated kids TV show” and sometimes you can really tell. And yet there’s also commentary in here about the folly of an external (essentially) military force training insurgents/rebels from another planet country and the consequences there of. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder what on earth that could be referring to. Hmmmm.

I still cannot believe Rex’s outfit. The ribbing in the group chat is going to be even worse than after the Zygerrian armour. 

[containatrocity]

"Okay, in my defense, you were, as some might expect, the first woman in 41 years to say 'hey, you seem like you know things about medieval fantasy, and I need that specific skillset right now.' Also you were naked, 14 year old Mallard dreamed about that exact situation." Duck argues, whistling shortly to catch Robin's attention as the three of them finally made their way out of the house- the boy abandoning his detour to pet Brute to rejoin his father and Z. "Keep th' house in check, Brute- I'll bring ya back some turkey from th' food stalls fer dinner." He insists, the dog's tail thumping the ground happily. "Swear t' god he eats better than most people do." Duck chuckles, locking the house behind the three of them and offering Z his arm. "Well, I'll be real thankful fer the fact you're both not judgin' me for bein' a turbo nerd at my age, and yer gentlemen callers havin' to wait their turn. I'll make sure they take a number, keep th' line orderly." He jokes, Robin racing off the porch and down the driveway just slightly ahead of the pair- his gaze is watchful, hawkish, easily balancing the conversation at hand and ensuring his eight year old doesn't get too far ahead of him that he loses sight of the boy's bright red mop of hair.

"Yeah, already feelin' the more than one kind of hot, damn." He chuckles as they reach the center of town, Robin already zipping off to shoot foam darts at the townsfolk- and quickly called back with another sharp whistle. "This one's gonna wanna pester his sister at some point today, so with any luck, I'll be able to be the other kind a' hot without the rugrat for a bit later." He fluffs Robin's hair fondly anyway, taking in the booths and displays with an impressed hum. "Man, they really pulled out th' stops fer this one." He's a bundle of energy, in a way that's decidedly unsubtle- shifting excitedly from one foot to the other- barely restraining the urge to dart off not unlike Robin. "We've got a good few hours before I'm due to either do somethin' really cool or get my ass kicked in jousting, so at the very least, I am gonna insist we hit up the archery booth. And hope you were only hustlin' me about the firearms back when we met."

Zarina dropped her gaze to where he was adjusting her dress, wondering briefly if the casual domesticity of it should feel strange to her, before deciding to unpack that at a different time. Reaching up to smooth out a wrinkle in his cape, she put her hand on his shoulder and pulled herself up to press a kiss to the little bit of exposed cheek she could reach, before stepping back and laughing softly at his comment. "Well, you do look hot in more than one way," she teased easily, throwing in a sly wink for good measure. "And today I'm all yours, so any gentleman callers will have to get in line."

When she heard the commotion upstairs, she let out another laugh and turned toward the mirror again, checking over her appearance one last time before looking back out the door and nodding in the affirmative. "Yeah, let's get out of here," Zarina agreed, joining the double tieflings out in the living room while making sure to keep Mal between herself and Robin. It was more for Robin's sake than her own; for as much time as she'd spent there, she was still virtually a stranger to him. "But for the record, I've known what a nerd you are since you brought out the handbooks and the sketchpad in the middle of the night. Don't worry, I'm still quite fond of you."

[cherrymoonvol6]

some thoughts on the owl house

disclaimer: during my watchtime, the following things happened:

i was drunk (not enough to not remember anything, but enough to maybe not remember everything correctly)

i was tired/sluggish

my internet sucked (so some episodes i had to watch through almost unbearable stuttering, and i skipped one altogether [the body swap one in S1])

but none of these things happened for ALL episodes, and the further i watched the more invested i was. also, this will cover every episode up to the latest one released (for the future). so here it is. Some Thoughts about the owl house incoming:

OVERALL: after going through the first few episodes, i somehow ended up getting reminded of undertale. but maybe not for the reasons you might think: yknow, two stories involving a human accidentally breaching into a world full of magic and fantastical creatures, with no easy way of getting out. but it wasn't for those structural reasons, and more like the fact that TOH seems to be a deconstruction of the tropes it's presenting, just like undertale deconstructs the usual RPG and plays with its tropes to tell its story.

i find this change refreshing because even if it's not a new idea, i like that the fish out of water has such high expectations for what she'll experience in this new world. and i was surprised when they kept that angle as the show went on: i was yet again reminded of toby fox when luz is presented as a writer (yknow, giving the protagonist a trait/skill of their creator, just like how kris plays the piano in deltarune). there are a lot of aspects about it that are very thought provoking and greatly enhance the experience.

another thing is that i was pleasantly surprised to see that not only the show was willing to put through its complicated world and make it central in the story, but also that almost every thing introduced in the show wound up being important and building the bigger picture. like, the last stretch of the second season was just crazy to watch, and i was amazed and so, so happy that the show took its time to get there in the end. i see the hype and i agree, basically.

that’s not to say i don’t have my issues with some things. what i don’t think i will be going over in the sections below i’ll say here: i think the show is decidedly unsubtle. not necessarily a bad thing, but it ruins the potential of certain moments. there’s stuff that i like, some examples being: the light glyph being integral to luz’s presence in the show (since luz means light in spanish); how amity has brown hair just like her dad yet is dyed green to match her mom’s; hunter’s name; the owl beast appearing in eda’s dreams; uhhhh that’s all i can name off the top of my head. i think in some cases the messages are delivered clumsily due to the lack of subtlety, but i also think the show gets better about that as it goes along - i consider it a S1 problem, mostly.

there’s also the elephant in the room about the show being shortened for reasons we don’t know about in the slightest. man, fuck disney lol. below, there’s a lot of places in which i would’ve wanted to say certain thing needed more time to develop or other things feel rushed/incompleted and i’ve omitted most of them because i understand this is a limitations the writers weren’t aware of and had to restructure the whole final season of the show into three 45 minute episodes. i therefore offer my sympathy and won’t criticize the show for that. i’m sure a lot of people have talked about those things (the break-neck pacing of some plot-lines and other stuff being introduced in a not-so-seamless way), so you won’t need me to repeat what you people already know.

even with all of those things in mind (and the criticisms that you’ll find in the rest of this post) i loved the owl house and i’m very happy i took my time to watch it. i’m not really the kind of person to watch movies and shows very candidly - in fact, the first time i decided i would watch TOH i was drunk and just forced myself into it. i am pleased to have done it because this is a great show and i wish i could’ve grown up watching something like this - esp considering the main character is a bisexual latina girl of color, just like me. i hope further shows in kid and tween channels follow this standard and all in all i love it enough to feel very invested in these characters and the major plot beats of the story.

LUZ: i really like luz!!! i just think hopeless optimistics that are actually hiding a lot of guilt and trauma are incredibly compelling characters and a lot is done with it in the show. i love her design and her quirks and how the show recognizes and uses them: one of my favorite moments in the show is that one part in escaping expulsion where amity asks the abomination butler who took her spot, and when the abomination turns around you can see the kitty face luz molded on him and that’s it. no need to say her name or anything, amity (and us, the viewers) immediately know it’s luz. gah! what a great moment.

i also love the way the show slowly reveals luz’s insecurities and hardships. she’s just so layered and you get to see every part. luz’s revelation in FTF is also something that resonates so intimately with my own problems and i get teary eyed just thinking about how well-setup that moment is and how it’s allowed such a big space in the episode. if you allow me to go on a little tangent, i find it fantastic how much they did with camila in such little time. it’s so great that we’re allowed to peak into her world and see how she never felt anything was wrong with luz, but instead of leaving it at that (she’s redeemed now you guys :D), they make camila recognize her mistake in such an honest and heartfelt way that directly impacts with luz’s narrative journey through all seasons in TOH. it treats both characters in such a humanly way… gah, it’s fantastic.

however, i'll say that my favorite dynamic in the show is probably luz and eda. i just love that since the very beginning they were both pushing at each other’s mindsets, and challenged each other in ways that allowed them to question their worldviews and change. there’s also the way eda ties into luz’s revelation that she just wants to be understood: i believe they both agreed to stay together because freaks stick together, making it so that eda and luz’s connection is so special because eda allows luz to feel understood. but yeah, i don’t wanna list examples because i feel like if i start i’ll never finish - source: trust me bro, yknow how it is. they’re fantastic characters already but they add so much to each other through their relationship.

EDA: honestly, there’s not really that much i can say about her. eda already ties in the fantasy trope deconstruction by being presented as this bad bitch channeling some manic pixie dream girl stuff - and just like luz, the show takes its time to deepen her character and make her a lot more complex. i don’t think it succeeds in every part (i go in more detail while talking about raine) but they get almost everything right and that’s enough for me. she’s at her best when she’s interacting with luz but also she has such great dynamics with every other character that pops up (although maybe i wasn’t the biggest fan of her interactions with lilith at the beginning, but it gets better and then it gets good).

HOOTY: i love him to death. what a little bastard. god won’t let him die.

KING: i am mixed on king, though considering everything i do have a positive stance on him. i don’t really like the trope of animal-type characters behaving like dogs [toothless from HTTYD the movie and the horse from disney’s rapunzel come to mind], and while king’s character gets more complex as the show progresses, that doesn’t really ever go away. the kid antics don’t help either. however, the S2 episode where king takes everyone to his “land” was an instant favorite - even midway through my first viewing, i knew i would love it. king’s tragic backstory def comes as a surprise and the show really capitalizes on that, and i love how plot relevant he becomes out of nowhere. i loved him in FTF and i’m very pleased with the direction his character took in S3.

AMITY: boy, does disney love their rich mean girls with overbearing parent(s). well i'm just not so invested, personally. i perked up for a bit in certain episodes, because it seemed like the show was bringing back its deconstruction of fantasy world tropes/characters when they equated hecate with amity. like, luz being motivated to befriend her because azura did so with the mean girl in her world? that's VERY interesting. and you don't know the squeal that i let out when luz starts crushing on amity, JUST because she pseudo-cosplays a powerful witch!!! and this sort of continues as luz builds an image of amity in her head that is not that accurate to her actual persona - and how that is presented as an obstacle for them getting together, culminating in the point where amity outright says that she’s not as cool as luz thinks. for a moment, i was enthralled waiting for the show to do anything with it. but sadly, after the initial hype, their relationship becomes a recycled jumble of miraculous ladybug-esque blushing interactions (and thank god it wasn't for THAT long), and then luz's secrets and amity's fear of not being good enough.

i guess my problem is that there's nothing that being together really adds to their characters, and their dynamic isn't that interesting otherwise. once amity rekindles her friendship with willow and enters luz's friend group, that's most of it resolved. the conflicts that arise in their relationship are way more personal and i believe they're dealt better with other characters (luz's guilt with eda, and amity's insecurities with alador and her sibs). i don't think their dynamic is bad per se (for example, i loved that they brought back amity's fear of rejection in the hooty episode, it's a really effective heart-wrenching moment), but maybe some conflict in their get-together through amity's mom could've been a good way of dealing with that problem in a way that doesn't feel that divorced from the main story (especially since amity’s mom has minimal screen time in the show) while also keeping their relationship plot-relevant. but honestly, i don't blame canon for not giving me a ship i can really enjoy. i'm extremely hard to please.

it also seems like the show kinda forgets about amity’s privileged status once she stops being a bully. in fact, it makes it seem like she’s actually just as powerless as the other kids in the main group, especially through odalia. i would’ve loved to see those aspects impact not only her presence in the group but her relationship with luz, too, because IMO it would never be anything other than interesting and it would add a lot to her character. however, i am led to think that this is less of an aspect that couldn’t fit in the story due time restraints and more of a thing that the writers genuinely think amity is in a good spot re: her character development, which is something i talk about more in the willow section. and speaking of willow...

WILLOW: i like good-natured characters who are good just for the sake of being good. therefore, i like willow, but i like her in the way that i think she’s a great addition to the cast and she has fun dynamics with both luz and gus. however, just on her own, willow is kinda meh.

i enjoyed the bullying (you know, as a narrative tool) for like four seconds when luz said [gasp] witch drama!!! and then never again. like, i don’t think whatever the show is trying to say with the “half-a-witch willow” is ever done good. and for how many jabs this show throws against harry potter, is astounding how similar the half-a-witch and muggle terms are. i would even say the half-a-witch thing is worse because i don’t even understand what “half-a-witch” is supposed to mean. the child of a witch and a demon? being less powerful than a “regular” witch? if the show ever explained it, it did it once and quick enough that it never stayed on my memory. moreover, if the half-a-witch thing is meant to point at willow being neurodivergent, then it makes the development of that plotpoint a lot clunkier.

the show then makes the argument that the “half-a-witch” claim is untrue because willow is actually a really powerful witch, and i am yet again reminded of hermione and how hp butchered the point of the “muggle” bullying. this is something that greatly infuriated me in the episode where willow is trying to prove to amity that she can take care of herself, because the problem isn’t that amity just needs to see how powerful willow is: the point is that anyone could be in willow’s place, and amity would be just as condescending. therefore, the solution isn’t to make amity realize that this particular person is strong enough to protect herself. it should be that amity shouldn’t be treating anyone like this in the first place! yet because willow = hermione, the argument is that willow shouldn’t be bullied/looked-down upon because she’s very strong, actually, just like hermione shouldn’t feel bad about being called a “muggle” because she’s smarter than some full-blood wizards (or whatever the term is). this misunderstanding of bullying is something that i hate because, as someone who was bullied in school, the knowledge that i was “superior” to those bullying me never made my situation better. however, that’s exactly how it happens for willow: boscha’s team bonds with her for being such a cool not-quidditch player (i’m sorry, i genuinely cannot remember the name of the sport lol), people in the school come around willow because suddenly they notice she’s Cool, and amity stops belittling her because willow is really cool, guys. you’ll notice i have a real grudge against the amity/willow plotline because it annoys me that the resolution is that amity will make an exception for one (1) person, when it should’ve been a moment of growth in the sense that she’s straying away from the way her mom raised her and actually seeing value in each person around her, instead of just considering willow part of the elite comparable to people like her (powerful witches).

[let me say, though, that i do like that willow’s self-confidence grows due to the influence of her friends, because that’s something they got right and it doesn’t feel right to not acknowledge it too.]

anyways, it’s a missed opportunity that not only would’ve been a great character moment for both girls, but also would’ve re-established amity and willow’s friendship in a genuine and pointed way. i’ve seen that a lot of people don’t think amity was truly redeemed for the years in which she bullied and belittled willow, but i do think that the moment where amity turns her back to boscha and joins willow’s non-quidditch team out of her own volition was a great narrative beat to determine that she was genuinely on her side, and to me, that was enough. however, it’s unrealistic to think that their dynamic would be smooth sailing from that point onwards, and i was pleased to see that the show recognized that and made it a plotline in a future episode. however, as i said, it was an instance where they correctly identified the problem, but the resolution was not good. okay, that’s enough of amity, going back to willow…

for how much criticism i have for the whole “half-a-witch” stuff, i think willow’s character gets so much more in FTF, and it’s one of the reasons why i think it’s such a great episode. i was so happy when they brought back the fact that willow’s emotional turmoil is tied very closely to her witch plant powers, since it served as a plot device to make luz and willow meet but was ignored for the rest of the show. i cannot even be too mad that it came so late because it was very well done IMO. i really love when media explores the stories of characters that are put into certain roles and aware of it: an immediate example is luz, actually, since she’s so aware that she’s the protagonist of the story (and again, it’s how the show pokes fun at or subverts some fantasy tropes), but skam españa season 2 does that with cris, making a point to give a full season to the character that is the “funny party girl” in her friend group (REALLY great season, please everyone go watch skam españa). in this case, willow is the mom friend that is crumbling under the pressure of being there for her friends while also dealing with her own trauma for her own situation. i also really like that is hunter who reaches out first, because it’s also a great character moment for him. this was a thing the show understood perfectly and developed beautifully in an episode filled with people coming to terms with their own mistakes, all while trying to be there for their loved ones (luz obviously, camila, willow and hunter as the main ones). it’s a shame that it comes so late in the show because that would’ve immensely helped in making me like willow’s character in the beginning and middle of the show. half-a-witch willow, more like half-a-character willow amirite [gets booed off the stage].

GUS: i think gus is a perfectly balanced character and i like him a lot. he’s just very endearing and charming, but also has some depth in him that make for very compelling scenes - the one where hunter and gus bond for the first time comes to mind. i also adore that the main trio (luz, willow and gus) are all witches who are constantly put in situations where they feel like they must prove themselves to everyone else, as well as that happening in completely different ways (luz dealing with a completely different set of magic logic since she can’t cast conventional wild magic; willow and her “half-a-witch” deal as well as her emotionally-triggered plant powers; and gus being a gifted kid living up to those standards at the same time that he deals with studying a type of magic that a lot of people find useless). it’s good for them to stick together because they can understand each other in a way the world may never be able to - and once again we’re back at luz’s FTF revelation being a main theme for a lot of the cast of characters in the show. tldr, gus Good - and even better when paired with other characters.

HUNTER: my first reaction to hunter's (real) introduction in the second season was "oh. he has a personality??" i wasn't yet aware if it was a negative or a positive thought, but it was certainly not what i was expecting. what i thought of it afterwards is that maybe this was the simpler way of setting hunter apart from all the other emperor's coven NPCs that had been introduced so far - in hindsight, that doesn’t even apply because none of the guards are shown as being a force to be reckoned with, and they’re the butt of the joke in multiple occasions. then, i realized that my puzzled reaction was because i was expecting the golden guard to be more like the winter soldier. honestly, i still can't decide if making him act like that in the beginning was the best idea. during the episode of his first official appearance (s2e2) he didn't feel like a threat at all. he just seemed a little incompetent and like he was just amused by the characters and didn't have real intentions to hurt them. i think stuff like darius' introduction works much better in that regard - we get to see how powerful and ruthless he can be, while also showing a lot of personality and being humorous. i'm just not sure what the goal was at the beginning, or that it was done all that well.

of course, because it all leads up to hunter joining the main group, it makes sense that the guy has to have a likable personality. but i have this feeling that the show is trying too hard to get the point across about hunter just being a kid, and so we get him being incompetent instead. IMO, the VA's performance and hunter's physical appearance work just fine (luz even says hunter looks like he could be a student at hexside, which i want to believe is a callback to that one scene in spiderman 2). like, i don't know. i like hunter as a character and he adds a lot to the cast, but i wish some things had been done a little better with him.

however, there are a lot of ways in which i think hunter is a fantastic character in a way that fits really well with the whole deconstruction stuff i talked about earlier. i adore that final frame in the hunting palismen episode, where hunter is looking out this tiny window in a huge tower, confined in a tiny space while his animal sidekick rests in his hands… like holy shit, hunter is literally paralleled to rapunzel, a damsel in distress if you will. i genuinely love those moments and i eat them up every single time lol. there’s other stuff like hunter flinching when belos leans in to flick his hair out of his face: it’s such an effective storytelling tool in a short gesture. like, their relationship is absolutely clear from that gesture alone: how dismissive belos is of hunter’s feelings and worries, how he won’t think twice about humiliating him like that, and how hunter genuinely fears belos - as well as hints that he might have been physically abused by his uncle at some point. in that same line of thought, i like how that is followed through in FTF (i have a real boner for this episode i know) because of course hunter doesn’t know how to deal with that sort of grief. everything that happened in thanks to them is so incredibly fucked up for him and he’s just stuck in the anger stage, unable to move forward because he doesn’t know how. he devolves into such a practical view of the issue (this is all belos’ fault → we must find him and kill him) and it makes so much sense once you think about all the times his feelings were dismissed by his only parental figure (it even happened during thanks to them when hunter keeps writing off his suspicions as “paranoia” and apologizes for it to luz). and like, ugh, the way it comes back around when he helps willow out of her own spiral of grief, in the same way he projected his feelings on both amity and gus in S2. i just love that he’s so determined to be there for other people and how those are the first instances in which he allows himself to open up to others: by helping his friends when he sees them struggling. it’s such an effective way to communicate how loving and compassionate hunter truly is. like, i love how genuinely pained he sounds when he tells willow to never call herself “half-a-witch” again, unable to even repeat the term to her face. he’s such a good boy. i am holding him gently in my hands.

speaking of willow... i’ll guess you’ll notice that in the willow section i didn’t mention at all the romantic nudges towards hunter, and it’s because of two reasons. 1) i will talk about that Here and 2) hunter does nothing for willow as a romantic partner.

so yeah, as you could tell, not the biggest fan of their romance. i am partial to hunter crushing on willow because i think it does something for hunter: it allows him to have teenager experiences that he’s missing out on as the golden guard, and it further humanizes him compared to belos. to me, the problem is that the moment hunter crushes on willow, their get-together in canon is inevitable because of fucking course lol. furthermore, willow is easily the person who hangs out with hunter the least, and while he gets to have very defined dynamics with luz, gus and even amity in that one episode, i’m pretty sure he doesn’t interact with willow in any meaningful way besides getting paired with her on fight scenes. in fact, the only point in which they have a meaningful connection is in FTF, literally the second to last episode of the show. and it baffles me that the moment is decidedly non-romantic/found-family esque with gus being included in the resolution (not even as a third wheel: he's integral to it), only for the show to be like “mwahaha! get baited idiot” and have willow blush at hunter for no absolutely fucking reason (and hunter’s reaction is also decidedly not romantic either: he breaks down crying at willow’s words, as a parallel to the aforementioned platonic resolution from earlier). see, for all the problems i have with lumity and raeda, they have chemistry and reasons to be into each other, but i cannot say any of that for huntlow.

this gets worse when i think about the roles of everyone in the main group, and how hunter and gus’ brotherly moments don’t feel forced despite gus being the only one who can fill the role of “young sibling” in the main group, whereas it’s so obvious that hunter is crushing on willow because everyone else is either taken or not age appropriate. and you know, that doesn’t have to be a problem, that’s my point. again, it baffles me that hunter and willow meet halfway through season 2b, yet after that episode they barely exchange lines (i am struggling to remember if they even talk to each other), and the only indication of the romantic endgame is that hunter keeps blushing at her while willow is extremely oblivious and seems to do things out of her own goals of being a good witch and person, and not because she wants to connect with hunter. thanks to them also makes a point of having drawn out moments building on hunter’s relationships with luz and gus, and like… why leave willow out of them when being together is a point in the near future? like, this relationship definitely feels the most carelessly put-together, as there is NO narrative justification at all of why willow would suddenly fall for hunter - again, from a character resolution focused on willow learning to be vulnerable in front of her friends.

to me, the easiest fix to all of this is to have hunter crush on luz instead. hold on, let me cook. that way, we still have the point of hunter experiencing teenager stuff like crushing on people, yet we make sure that it doesn’t happen because luz is already taken and so instead hunter will eventually get over his crush while still caring for luz as a friend, and we avoid a pointless love triangle too. that can also tie with the main plot as luz is a direct parallel to evelyn (as hunter’s first real connection to wild magic, like evelyn was for caleb), yet the show can subvert that trope expectation of hunter and luz becoming lovers by recognizing that they’re both teenagers and hunter gets to have a life outside a romantic connection, going back to TOH being a deconstruction of fantasy tropes, yadda yadda.

also! i was surprised to see so many people disliking the fact that flapjack dies. i’ll say i digress. flapjack’s life being in danger works as a way to up the stakes in the fight, and i also consider it a poignant nod to flapjack being a symbol of evelyn and caleb’s romance and his “betrayal” to phillip - that, with the added bonus that belos feasts on palismen, makes flapjack’s death almost inevitable. i don’t know how i feel about hunter acquiring flapjack’s powers, though. on one hand, i like that evelyn and caleb’s love is surviving through belos’ failed plan to take revenge on their actions inheriting the palisman’s power: the fact that it manifests physically is a huge fuck you to belos and important to the narrative. on the other hand, i liked that hunter joined the league of “powerless” witches along with eda, lilith and luz - and i thought that was the direction they were going with when hunter uses luz’s glyphs in the belos’ brain episode. the whole glyph stuff mixes well with the story of caleb and evelyn, too, because hunter gets access to a kind of magic that he can make use of (unlike regular wild magic), and i also like the fact that he’d be using the same kind of magic his uncle found about first and used for his evil deeds, this time in the hands of his grimwalker nephew who will use it for belos’ downfall. but i guess hunter can get back his super-speed/teleportation stuff since it’s already part of his fighting style, sigh.

BELOS: uhhh good antagonist. great character. love whoever his VA is. very compelling. great foil to both luz and hunter. “twist villain” done right. not a lot to say tbh tho.

LILITH: first of all, love her design - and love how she stops dyeing her hair during FTF and we can finally see her natural hair color: it's a more effective way to show how far she's grown while also not hammering that fact to the viewer over and over again (cough cough amity). however, she suffers from the same problems most of the coven antagonists do, which is that she's hardly presented as a fearful contender and they're the butt of many jokes. it's not as bad as hunter but it's not as great as darius: she's clearly a force to be reckoned with, but whereas darius becoming a key player in eda's team is something i genuinely didn't see coming, the fact that eda and lilith have this bickering dynamic since the very start made it hard for me to envision her being a real threat. i liked her inclusion in the s1 dynamic, and her sharing eda's curse it's an effective narrative beat to apologize for her misdeeds and genuinely stick to eda's side. likewise, i like that her decision actually has consequences: she can't use magic again, she experiences a lot of side effects, etc. i also really appreciate that she's the only character who genuinely likes hooty because same. her dynamic with hooty is very lovely and became one of my favorites in the show, to my own surprise. 

RAINE: personality wise raine reminded me a lot of willow, and i almost wanna say that their character was way more well-executed than willow’s. i’ve always been a sucker for characters who are naturally good and kind to others, without being twist-villains, and raine is no exception, but they’re also a key player in the plot near the end of S2 in a way willow really isn’t, besides just being luz’s friend.

honestly my biggest disappointment with raine is their relationship with eda. it has all the right ingredients: people who loved each other sincerely back in a simpler time, now finding each other again while they’re on opposite sides of the narrative conflict. as well as them being torn apart by their character flaws (in this case, the responsibility falls mostly on eda but still works). but man, the fact that they just meet again and they immediately fall back in this easy-going dynamic… what’s the point of all that backstory, then? it’s weird that raine seems to hold no grudges against eda for what she did all those years ago. it makes me wonder why they haven't interacted with each other at any other point, since they don’t really hold any animosity towards the other. i would’ve LOVED if they capitalized on their backstory to make them resentful to each other. off the top of my head: have eda resent raine for joining the coven and climbing to the top, maybe have her believe that they’re doing it just to spite her. or have raine be mad at eda for being so irresponsible and nonchalant about it, and show them being conflicted about their love for her and their duties while they work for the emperor. i also don’t like how the show just doesn't allow any kind of conflict to linger between them. like, there’s this part where raine finds out eda has a family, giving space to make them go through some feelings of betrayal and jealousy, or maybe mourn the life they could’ve had together, but it’s such a non-moment and nothing comes of it. i thought i would love their dynamic, but it’s pretty half-baked. still i like raine as a character. after hunter’s introduction not fulfilling my winter soldier expectations, i didn’t know if to give the brainwashed plotline to raine would work. i was pleasantly surprised when raine turns out to be faking their submissiveness, as it shows how smart and resourceful they are, and i like how that capitalizes off their non-threatening appearance.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

GAPT Snippet #5

Bonnes fêtes! 🎄 (Snips 1, 2, 3, 4)

—————

“To Our Dearest Josephine,

Congratulations on getting accepted into your PhD program.

We always knew you could do it.

Love, Dads”

Louis ducked his head a little, swiping at the corner of his eye as subtly as humanly possible. He would be embarrassed, if not for the wholly unsubtle Harry-esque sniff coming from his left.

Some things never change, he thought, as he swallowed a giggle and looked up at where his daughter was folding the card closed carefully, across the picnic table.

“Can I just say,” Jo said, leveling both her fathers with an unimpressed stare. “That the only benefit of being a child of divorce is supposedly having parents that are fully committed to buying your love and loyalty?” She held up the gift, smirking jokingly. “And now you’re sharing presents?” She looked over at her twin who was also shaking her head at them disappointedly. “The audacity!”

“Shameful, honestly,” Stevie added in agreement. “I mean,” she continued, counting off on her fingers, the green of her eyes glittering. And after all these years, it still boggled Louis how the twins were a dead ringer for Harry, even though all their children were adopted. “One birthday party every year, one for graduations—”

“Just the one present each from Father Christmas,” Noah piled on, his cheeky dimples out on full display, and maybe it was the heart-eyes every dad had for their son, but Louis had to admit that Harry’s dimples coupled with Louis’ blue eyes really were a killer combo. He said another silent thanks to the heavens that their eldest was as sweet as he was – no penchant for heartbreaking of any kind, whatsoever, bless him.

Harry scoffed, indignant. “He’s only got—”

“‘He’s only got the one list,’” all three recited snarkily, and their perfect imitation of Harry’s extra-low baritone made Louis snort loudly. It earned him a glare from his ex-husband.

“Sorry,” he whispered to Harry, not meaning it in the slightest. He shrugged one shoulder up and gestured to the kids. “It’s just that they do a very convincing you.”

Harry’s pout hadn’t changed after all these years either.

“Not to mention,” Stevie continued. “A whopping total of zero brand new cars when we’d all started to drive—”

“Nary a one,” Jo sighed.

Harry turned to Louis and rolled his eyes. ‘Nary,’ he mouthed silently, smirking. Jo had always tended to connect with her inner Shakespeare when she was feeling extra dramatic.

“Even after all those subtle hints I dropped for a Jaguar,” Noah tsked, though the effect was decidedly dimmed by the way he couldn’t swallow his smile. “We were the joke of the divorced children’s club at school.”

“A laughing stock, really,” Jo agreed, batting her lashes playfully at her dads.

“I tried to tell ‘em that,” Niall said, grinning over the lip of his beer bottle, from where he was standing behind the twins. “But your dads were all ‘No, we’d rather ‘be there’ for our children,’ support them, such and such nonsense.”

“Mm,” Zayn hummed nonchalantly. “The song does go ‘Kids don’t like love, kids like cars and money.’”

“Really, am I the only one itching for Jo to open the damn present?” Liam asked. He gestured towards where she was toying with the edge of the perfectly intact wrapping paper. “I really wanna know what it is!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll open it,” Jo giggled, starting to tear the wrapper. “And if it sucks,” she said, smirking at her fathers. “My godfather’ll get me a car, won’t you, Uncle Niall?”

Niall gave a vague hum in answer as Louis grinned back at Jo, his tongue between his teeth. He jutted his chin toward the half-opened gift. “You are going to feel like such an arsehole when you see what it is.”

“Are dads allowed to call their offspring arseholes?” Stevie asked.

“When their kids are being total arseholes?” Harry said, holding his hand out to Louis for a low-five. “Absolutely.”

Louis laughed as he slapped Harry’s hand. Smiling, he held Harry’s gaze, counting out softly, just for the two of them, “Three… two… on—”

“Oh…” Jo said, her voice hitching. “Oh my God.” They both turned to face Jo, who looked up at them with wide, glistening eyes, her surprised gaze drifting down towards what was in her hand before shooting back up again. “Is it…?”

“A first edition,” Louis confirmed softly as she fingered the gilt lettering, tracing the capital L of ‘Little Women’ lightly, reverently. He looked at Harry, whose nose was already pink again. “We promised ourselves we’d get it for you, when you wouldn’t stop going into that bookshop on Camden.”

“Every fucking day for a year,” Harry chimed in, trying to hide the wobble in his voice with a laugh, though he still had to swipe under both eyes quickly. “When you were eleven.”

Louis’ eyes softened and, unthinking, he placed a hand on Harry’s knee under the table, swiping his thumb against the rough fabric of his jeans to soothe him. They shared a sentimental smile that lasted about .02 seconds before Jo launched herself at them, gathering them both in the tightest hug one could possibly muster with the width of a picnic table between them.

“Thank you,” she sniffed, overcome. Then, she buried her nose in Louis’ neck, just like she used to and Louis… Louis melted – fully felt his heart pool in a puddle of goop on the grass as his arm circled around her waist.

“You’re welcome, darling,” he whispered into her hair, just as Harry added, “We’re so proud of you, Panda.” He gifted Louis with another gentle, secret smile as he said, “You did it.”

They nestled into the hug for a little while longer, before Stevie began to pull Jo back by her shirt.

“Alright, break it up, break it up!” Stevie called out. “Can’t have everyone thinking I’m not the favourite.” She grinned evilly at Louis and Harry once they were free of Jo, her gaze knowing as it followed the line of Louis’ arm to where it had disappeared under the table, a tad too far to be resting on anything but Harry’s knee. Louis shook off his rising flush, staunchly refusing to be embarrassed by his twenty-seven year old and her all too in-the-know eyebrows.

Still, he subtly pulled his hand away, but not without smirking back at her, and narrowing his eyes in challenge.

‘Flirt’, she mouthed gleefully, to which there was really no wittier reply than for Louis to stick his tongue out at her like the highly respected tenured professor he was. (Clearly, those six or so extra years of schooling really were worth every penny, if he did say so himself.)

[drwcn]

I really do think mianmian and lwj deserve to be like, close friends. from their meeting in the show it doesn’t seem like they ever saw each other after jinlintai and i have no idea when they would’ve gotten the chance, but just afterwards, you know?

yes, I think they definitely deserve to be friends! One of things I always found troubling about these novel based xianxia dramas is the lack of sustainable friendship beyond the main romance line. I guess in order to create angst and emotional investment for the audiences, a lot of times, friendship get sidelined or destroyed when characters die or betray each other. As well, most non-romance relationships that we see lasting to the end of the story are family relations and sometimes servitude (aka a lackey that hangs on until the end). Real friendships where both parties are roughly on equal footing and station rarely last in these epic adventure dramas. You couldn’t even say Wen Ning is Wei Wuxian’s friend of equal station, not when Wen Ning doesn’t call Wei Wuxian by his name, just “young master”. Perhaps this is to isolate the main character, who knows.  Even so, friendship between men is portrayed more frequently than friendship between women, or men and women. 

So with your prompt, it inspired me to write a little something Luo Qingyang centric, ft our Hanguang-jun and juniors.

~~~ 

Lanling Jin’s entourage stood by the gates of Cloud Recesses, patiently waiting for their admission. What seemed like a life time ago, Luo Qingyang had been on these same steps with Jin Zixuan. She’d been a girl then, barely bloomed, barely grown. Life had been simple, and she had thought she knew what the future would hold. 

So much had come to pass, yet these grand arches, white granite stone pulsing with spiritual aura, never seemed to age. 

She glanced down at her Jin Clan robes, the pale yellow and white, embroidered with peonies and a strip of blue accentuating the lapel edge. She never thought she’d wear these colours again. Her mother had been a Jin, first cousin of Jin Guangshan. Once upon time, she’d been proud to be one of them, to be part of a powerful and wealthy clan. Then the war came and went, like the debriding of a wound upon their world that revealed the flesh underneath had caseated to the bone. She’d been so disillusioned, so aggrieved by her elders and disappointed by her peers. 

Even Zixuan.

He had been a good man, her cousin. But he wasn’t strong of heart nor clever of mind. She was sorry to know he had died, but she wasn’t surprised. If he could not see the game his father had been playing, then there had never been any hope for him.

Luo Qingyang glanced towards the youth in front of her just slightly to the right. From the view of his back, she could almost picture his father, standing there with Suihua in his clutch, a proud son of the house of Jin. Time seemed to fluctuate, the eighteen years between then and now barely a drop in the ocean. If she breathed deeply enough and closed her eyes, she could almost be Mianmian again, could almost see Zixuan again. 

This was the first time Jin Ling had come to Cloud Recesses without his jiujiu. The boy was rightfully nervous, but this push towards independence was necessary. Sooner or later, baby bird had to learn how to fly. Like his father, Jin Rulan had a kind nature, even if he was awful at expressing his feelings. He was young, but the burden on his shoulders were heavy. For the mess that was the Jin Clan post Jin Guangyao's demise to fall into Jin Ling's lap was the best and worst case scenario. If he hadn’t risen to occasion, the subsidiary sects - vultures circling a carcass- would’ve torn Lanling apart. 

Perhaps that was why Luo Qingyang had agreed to return to her mother clan.

Wei Wuxian had arrived at her doorsteps one day some months after the incident at Guanyin Temple. Even on the outskirts of Yiling where she had lived, she had received news of what had happened. Wei Wuxian explained he’d been travelling, but between his subtle hints and unsubtle nudges, she had understood his intentions. 

Jin Ling had no one to help him man the helm. Jiang Cheng could only do so much without the other sects accusing him of overreaching into businesses beyond Yunmeng’s jurisdiction. Jin Ling was Jinlintai’s heir, not Lotus Pier’s, a fact that most people had slowly forgotten over the last decade. Childless, Jiang Cheng’s seat would one day go to his prime disciple, but not to his nephew.   

“Lan Zhan had written a decree for you, in case you encounter trouble going back. It’s a lot to ask for, I know. You’ve got such a lovely home here. But...you are needed, Mianmian, if you could forgive them.”

Forgive them? Luo Qingyang sighed. What’s there to forgive? She had left of her own volition, married well, and had a wonderful family. Her husband grumbled a bit about moving to the big city, but in the end he followed her back to her clan, just like he did to her night hunts. Her husband had been a merchant once, and she had no doubt he would thrive in Lanling. So far, she had not been proven wrong.  

“I am Jin Rulan’s biao’gu*. He is as much your nephew as he is mine. Tell His Excellency that I will return to Jinlintai shortly. He can be assured Sect Leader Jin will not be alone.”  

Lan Sizhui, Gusu Lan’s Head Disciple greeted them at the gates with a deep bow. Like his de-facto cousin, Sizhui had grown taller and more mature. 

“Welcome, Jin-zongzhu, Luo-zhangshi*, and honored guests. Cloud Recesses thank you for your patience. Please, come with me.” 

He gave Jin Ling a private smile, and the latter perked up immediately. “Lan-gongzi, you’re too kind. It’s been some time since we last spoke. I trust His Excellency is of good health and spirit?”

“Hanguang-jun is very well, thank you Jin-zongzhu.” In a lower tone, Sizhui commented. “I would’ve visited Lotus Pier with Wei-qianbei last harvest, but I was sent to Qinghe for sect business.” 

Boys playing at being men. 

Luo Qingyang hid a smile, slowing down her steps to give the youngsters some privacy from the party that followed them. 

Such innocence. How lovely it was. The boys she’d known were forced to grow up amidst fire and chaos, and did so in such brutal, unimaginable ways. So many had died, and those who had lived would never get to experience their ‘what-could’ve-been’s.

~

After, when the official businesses were settled and the disciples were dismissed, Luo Qingyang and Lan Wangji sat together in a quiet pavilion. Sizhui and A-Ling were some distances away down the lang, standing a reasonable distance apart and conversing politely. Though, it was more than obvious that they were itching to shed their gentlemanly exterior and scurry off to whatever shenanigans boys their age got up to when their guardians weren't looking.

Lou Qingyang observed the man sitting across from her and found some irony in the fact that they were strangely similar. Though talented in cultivation, Lan Wangji was not the type she would’ve imagined being Chief Cultivator, and certainly she herself could’ve never imagined that one day she would be chief of staff of Lanling Jin. 

Life dealt them both a funny set of cards and all they could do was keep playing. 

“I know Wei Ying had delivered my message, but I want to thank you properly in person, Luo-zhangshi, for agreeing to come back. Those early days after Jin Guangyao’s death was...precariously to say the least. The situation at Jinlintai is much better now thanks to your efforts.” 

“Hanguang-jun, we’ve known each other for a long time. Your husband has a scar on his chest from saving me from a Wen branding iron, and my daughter has received lucky money from the both of you. I think you can call me Miamian, if you’re comfortable with that.” She smiled, taking a sip of her tea. The scent of jasmine was calming after such a long, arduous morning.

Lan Wangji nodded, turning to his own cup. “We used to be classmates, now we are colleagues. Perhaps you are right. Formality in private is unnecessary.” 

“As for coming back, it is my duty. Jin Ling is bright and kind. With the right guidance, Lanling Jin Sect will recover. I knew him, Jin Guangyao. He was... nice to me, most of the time anyways. Whether that niceness had any truth behind it, I don’t know, but even then he’d been so unreadable. I only wish I’d seen through it all sooner. So you see, there is no need for thanks, Wangji-xiong. We Jins have done enough wrong against your family. Pray, how is Zewu-jun?” 

 “Brother is still in seclusion, but he is no danger to himself. He is better now. Time heals all wounds. Though...” 

Though knowing Lan Xichen, knowing what Lans were like when faced with tragic love, Lan Wangji wasn’t sure what his brother’s future would hold. 

Luo Qingyang nodded, understanding. Suddenly, their tranquility was interrupted by a disciple rounding the corner, footsteps heavy and voice decidedly too loud. 

“Sizhui, did you meet up with Young Mis -” 

Lan Jingyi’s holler aborted immediately when he saw who was sitting in the pavilion. “Erm... Hanguang-jun, Luo-zhangshi...” Smiling sheepishly, he bowed. 

“Sizhui.” Lan Wangji gave his son a pointed look, which the youth instantly understood. 

“Ah, Jin-zongzhu. Perhaps you would like for Jingyi and myself to you show around? Cloud Recesses’ scenery is really one of a kind this time of year.”  

“Yes, yes!" Jin Ling leaped to his feet from where he was sitting on the bench. He paused, casting a cautious glance towards his aunt, before clearing his throat and continuing in his most ‘adult’ voice. “Yes, I would like that. Lan-gongzi, Jingyi-xiong, if you wouldn't mind leading the way.” 

Luo Qingyang and Lan Wangji focused their attention back to their tea cups, both turning a blind eye to the way Sizhui and Rulan all but ran to join up with Lan Jingyi. 

They were out of sight in a heartbeat. 

“Do you know who they remind me of?” Luo Qingyang tilted her head as a sense of deja-vu washed over her. 

“Mn?” 

“Wei-gongzi, Nie-zongzhu, and Jiang-zongzhu, during our guest disciple days.” 

Our long summer. 

“Mn.”

“Remember when they got drunk on Emperor’s Smile? They really were audacious even then.” Luo Qingyang reminisced with a fond chuckle. 

“Yes. Uncle was furious.” The corner of Lan Wangji’s lips tilted upwards. 

Was that amusement she detected?! 

Mianman blinked, suddenly realizing, “Oh but you were amongst them too, if I recall correctly.” She gave him a sly smile. “The girls said you were discovered in a drunken coma in Wei-gongzi’s room the next morning. Is that true?” 

“Yes.” 

Oh the scandal! “How did they rope you into it?”

“I was willing,” confessed the venerated Hanguang-jun without so much as a blush. The shameless scoundrel! 

Luo Qingyang laughed, the sound ringing like a clear bell that cut through Cloud Recesses’ tranquility. 

“I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore; he’s your husband now. For the record, we all saw it coming.”

Lan Wangji raised a quizzical brow. “Oh? I did not think it was obvious.” 

“Well, not to the male disciples perhaps, but the female disciples, we all knew.” Luo Qingyang took a deep breath and sighed. “Sometimes I miss those days. Simpler times.” 

“Mn.” 

“My daughter has started cultivation lessons with the other children at Jinlintai. Someday she may visit here as guest disciple, as I once was. I hope her future will be a better one.” 

She met his gaze steadily, and the understanding in between had no need for further words. 

Lan Wangji smiled. 

“That is my wish as well.” 

  ~

biao’gu 表姑 = a type of aunt, a distant female cousin of one’s parent that’s in the same generation as them.

zhang’shi 长史= an antiquated government position that’s akin to Secretary General. 

[hopelesstvaddict]

Jon and Sansa's relationship is fragile because of Jon's insecurities

[So we're back. Instead of full reviews I think I'm just gonna write about specific subjects that make me pause and think, more than the general episodes]

So we've been treated with Jon's return to Winterfell and his rocky relationship with Sansa resumes. Again. Ain't this old by now ? Perhaps not.

Jon and Sansa are at their most affectionate when it comes to hugs but this second time, Sansa keeps focused on what's important. I don't really understand why Jon would take issue with Sansa speaking up at the council in the Great Hall; she brought up very valid points. Saving the world is important of course but people tend to forget what needs to happen behind the scenes in order to ensure that. I think I'm not alone in this but I also wondered why she didn't take into account Dany's army when preparing all the food storing. While that can be blamed on sloppy writing and it's fair to say that she could have at least entertained the idea, it's also fair to remember that Jon's main idea was first to mine dragonglass and then try to convince Dany to help them. Sansa was not convinced he would succeed; in her mind, Dany would only care about her throne. So far she's not proven entirely wrong. And we also have to remember that Jon didn't send any message to her for a long time and certainly not before he knelt. Probably the last scroll she got was something like 'Hey I'm ok' and then next thing she knew he had bent the knee. So by this time it was already too late to gather whatever food was necessary. Plus I think it's safe to say the entire North brought what food was available FOR THE NORTH ONLY. Obviously there wasn't much and in any case, even if she had been warned she'd have to feed many more, there wouldn't have been enough. Sansa takes care of all this, and all the political stuff - things that both Jon and Dany do not care about and have little regard for. Jon still doesn’t quite realize how much he needs Sansa to handle all of this because he doesn’t realize how important it is. Yet.

The scene that stood out the most takes place during Jon and Arya's reunion in which Jon tries to dismiss Sansa. Live reaction: Ok so we're back to this 'Jon-putting-down-his-sister' nonsense? At first view, it's quite infuriating to see Jon acting this way and it's hard to believe these two ever found a way to unite and effing retake Winterfell. But once you stop and think about it, this little exchange yields so much to analyze.

As many pointed out, Jon likely tries to revert to a childhood joke he shared with Arya when they were younger and used to diss their sister together. Fair point. Siblings often side against one another. But that shows several things. Jon has been away from Arya all series long and he doesn't realize yet that she's not his little baby sister anymore. His conversation about Needle further proves the point. In any case, Arya is having none of it and supports Sansa. We're all here for this.

Here Jon seemingly tries to diminish Sansa's intelligence. But he knows that she really IS smarter than everyone else. He knows it. So I think part of what's going on here is that Jon works as the embodiment of the last part of the general audience who still thinks that Sansa is useless and this scene was written for Arya - a known fan favorite - to dismiss this and assert her support of Sansa - to really drive home this idea. The scene with Tyrion (another fan favorite) serves a similar purpose.

Narratively, beyond Jon dismissing Sansa yet again, this reads as another instance where it's more about Jon than it is about Sansa. Several times Jon has confronted Sansa about her asserted cleverness - and all those times, she's been right - and each time it boiled down to Jon's lack of self-confidence and the need to prove himself to his sister. When she told him that Ramsey was more devious than what he thought, his first reaction was to boast about his military achievements. When she told him to be smarter than Robb and their father, his reaction was to half-jokingly dismiss her offer of counsel. This essentially is a version of him saying 'Yeah she's smart but so am I and I wish she saw it too'

This ties closely with the rest of the exchange where Arya tells him that Sansa is defending the family. Pay attention to what Jon says next - specifically the choice of phrasing it.

There is so much to draw from that line. He doesn't say 'She's my family too' or 'she's our family' or 'I'm your family too'. His choice of words means 'I, Jon, am part of Sansa's family too'. That singles out Sansa as Jon's focus for discontent. He could have said 'I'm your family' or just 'I'm family too' and that would have included Bran and Arya as well. But no, Sansa alone is who Jon focuses on. This shows that he still has some unresolved issues with her - even after all that happened between them. After two seasons of her repeatingly validating him, her saying out loud 'You're a Stark to me' he still doubts HER in particular

Perhaps that boils down to her behavior towards him when they were children since this comes up again later. A seemingly random bit of conversation but one can't help but wonder why this was brought up again. Jon and Sansa weren't close growing up and Jon is a deeply insecure person, being a bastard and all that and it's understandable that he would have a hard time letting go of all these presumptions when they all but defined his childhood. She was the sole of his siblings to make him feel like he didn't have a real place in the family (to make it very simple), hence why he doesn't have a problem with Arya or Bran. Yet.

But how can Sansa change that ? A girl can repeat her support for him so much and reassure him all the time but really it's up to Jon to get past childish jabbing and accept the woman his sister has become and that she's genuine in her concern towards him. That she's changed.

'I'm her family too' is another way of saying 'I'm part of her family too so why is she always antagonizing me/fighting me/disagreeing with me?' Jon still thinks Sansa doesn't consider him family and she's the last one not to in his mind.

The choice of words also emphasizes the 'I'. Rather than say 'she' and put focus on Sansa alone, the use of 'I' brings the sentence back to Jon and puts the spotlight on him as well. 'I am part of her family too'. As if he's saying it out loud and repeating it so that perhaps his thick brain will finally accept it. This is a clever exchange that foreshadows the existential/identity crisis that he's going to go through no later than before the end of the episode. Which renders Arya's 'Don't forget that' quite unsubtle. This will be Jon’s final storyline, the resolution of the one problem that defined him at the beginning of the story.

This need to gain Sansa's approval is driven further in the scene the two of them share later on (another candlelit setting). We have yet to see Jon interact with Bran or Arya but Jon is decidedly different with Sansa. Perhaps that's because they're the eldest. Perhaps that's because they're closer in age. Perhaps that's because they are the leaders of their House. Perhaps that's because they went to war together. In any case, Jon is wary, unsure and insecure about how she feels about him. He doesn’t look to Sansa the way he affectionately looks to Arya or Bran. A smile is rare when he interacts with Sansa. He yells, they don't see eye to eye, he feels like she belittles him, he feels hurt and at the end of it, this :

This is him asking her for reassurance. Asking for a clear answer. 'Please trust me. Please tell me that you support me'. He craves her validation. After he all but dismissed her in front of Arya. Why go see her? Why take her intel so close to his heart then ?

To which she responds 'You know I do'. Two things to take from this. First, once again she reassures him and reasserts her support and loyalty to him. Second, 'YOU KNOW I do' means 'you already know the answer'. This shows that in her mind, Jon should ALREADY know that he has acquired her undying support - probably against her better judgement. Newsflash : he doesn’t.

Can we stop now for a second and breathe a sigh of relief that Sansa has grown confident enough to be sure of who she is and not question Jon's lack of faith in her ? Thank the Gods one of them has their shit together because if she were like him, this wouldn't go anywhere.

It's possible that her not lashing out at him and instead adopting this quiet, sad behavior is also the manifestation of her own fear towards him - that he effectively abandoned her. For all the tough 'no one can protect me' behavior, anyone is going to be touched to have someone pledge to protect them.

Anyway, Sansa trusts Jon but he doesn't. It's quite interesting that he was the one asking for mutual trust before and yet he is the one in the end who can't totally do it because in his heart, he is still deeply insecure about her. Sure there were some steps made. Ensuring the safety of the North and entrusting her with it was a huge improvement. But still, we see that on a personal level he is quite not there.

The obvious question then is WHY. Why is he still insecure ? And why Sansa in particular ? The beginning of an answer can be found in the relationship he had with her while they were children and how it compares to Arya and Bran. Maybe that's just remnants of that strained relationship.

But if Sansa has changed and for the better and Jon still struggles to accept it, let's just hope that a similar situation doesn't arise with Arya and Bran. Let's rule out the latter since he's all about the zen attitude but we've already seen that Arya is not Jon's Arya anymore and that she will stand beside Sansa when needed. For now, Jon has no reason to doubt Arya like he does Sansa. When the reveal about his parentage comes out, how will Sansa and Arya react ? If he can't handle the thought of one sister seemingly doubting him, what's it going to be if it's two sisters ?

All of this insecurity regarding Sansa - for now - is at least partly in preparation of the drama that is sure to unfold in the next weeks. Jon fears that Sansa doesn't see him as family and now, he has even more reason to be afraid. All the drama that has happened between them for seasons boils down to this deep fear of not being accepted by her and now we're in for the culmination. There will be a lot of fighting, we’re told. Jon will sulk and convince himself that he was right in the end, that he wasn't part of the family and more so, that SHE was right not to accept him. Sansa on the other hand, I suspect, will mainly fight to make him accept once and for all that he is a Stark. That's the passionate fight for her this season. To make her family complete.

Another interesting thing to note - as others have observed - is that the conversation is left unfinished.

Sansa asks if Jon loves Dany and he doesn't respond. Once again, Sansa demonstrates - to us and to Jon - how perceptive she is, how well she can read people, and him specifically. As of now, Jon’s relationship with Dany is still a secret and yet she has figured it out.

What's really notable is that this is a pattern in a lot of Sansa/Jon conversations, specifically the ones where they argue in private. Compare this one to the tent scene in 6x09 or the one in 7x01 right after the council or even in 6x07 when they argue about the men they have. We have Sansa and Jon arguing heatedly then the conversation tones down to soft, sad voices and then it ends before resolution can happen, either because they choose to end it there, someone else interrupts or we simply are denied to see it.

Sansa and Jon have been arguing ever since they reunited. Every season they were pitted against each other as the siblings who fought. Now in the final season, it's still brought up and used in the narrative. Meaning that it means something, that it's important to the story. We saw that Arya and Sansa fought in Season 7. It was tied to their old bickering from childhood and ultimately it was resolved and now Arya stands by her sister. Narratively, a conflict plaguing characters has to be resolved when the story comes to its conclusion. Sansa and Jon’s storyline has been going on since Season 6 now, so their relationship HAS TO come to a resolution, one way or another. And it'll be all about Jon finally accepting that he is a Stark and about him accepting that Sansa has accepted it.