#and interact w ppl again
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vote or perish btw
#talking to the space void#Some day i will reblog art#and interact w ppl again#soon soon soon soon#FFFFGRRGGHH#GRRRAGHHH vote btw#if american and able. vote. or else. explode#thank u that was my ted talk
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the usual
#hope if u see this u are doing well i am in a torture maze#ill post again soon as always i am drawing a lot i just never post anything#i wanna start using instagram bc i love the impermanence of stories.. and im sick of twitter lol i want another way to interact w ppl#ok <3 gnight#jerma#jerma985#jerma fanart#tree art
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WAH thank you sm for the help & support so far!!! ;_; I wasn't really expecting much help right away so I was surprised but thank you!! It helped a lot esp. w/ the loans I've had to pay ;;
I still have a lot of stuff to catch up on so I hope you guys can be patient w/ me 🙏I've opened patreon as a way to earn & also as motivation to finish my backlog. Tbh it's still overwhelming when I think about the backlog of work I have to do (it's a lot...) but hopefully I'll get things done eventually. For now I'm working on the preview for my patreon promo post so have this very messy & illegible wip for now:
My page is now live here if anyone would like to check it out :)
#im sleeping late again just to post this but anyways thank you sm again for the help!!! ;_;#just realized it's been a year since I first tried patreon...#from opening patreon last year -> then moving to ko-fi memberships -> annnd going back to patreon again#it's diff. from before tho since i'm offering diff. perks now#idk if it would really interest ppl to join but I think it's fun :) esp. the drawpile part#tbh im very deprived of social interaction for some time now#it's time i get to change that! I think starting by drawing w/ other ppl isn't so bad 😌#anyways! im heading to bed now bc i need to sleep#hope you're all doing well <3#bam blabs
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biggest piece of advice for anyone visiting or moving to a new country/city/etc is if you go there and continually repeat verbatim stereotypes about that place that you've gotten off of social media not only will you sound like an idiot it will also make everyone around you want to beat you. with hammers.
#we’re moving closer and closer to having to interact w guy from REDACTED western european country again 😭#who talked to me constantly about how my city sucks and then was like ‘also im writing a book set here’ ????#but also exclusively uses tiktok stereotypes abt north america to complain. like i know qc ppl they are NOT acting like that#gabby.txt
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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i had a dream that the intellect stat in elden ring directly affected the nonexistent luck with women stat so i upgraded it to maximum possible and then woke up
#shout out to nonexistent luck with women stat i thought i could try it out with malenia#not talkign abt the nightmare that made me unable to tell reality fron dream n scared of ppl noticing im uneven. yeah#i got unbelievably drunk to cope w the unevennes but im still rlly scared to interact. im also scared to interact bc i thought i fucked up#i also think. i might never draw anything ever again. can we move on from that too please. sorry#also for anyone thinking from this post that i figured out how to play elden ring no im playing godmode no hits. sorry
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so much of orv changed my brain chemistry but the first scene that changed me as a person was when kdj was trying to restore his mom's soul & was telling every story he remembered about her (because souls are made of stories) & realizing it wasn't ENOUGH, and then all of her jailmates came into her soul and began painting the cracks with their stories about her, and he realized that he was never gonna be able to heal her by himself because one person could never encompass the whole of the story of someone else. everyone's made of stories but vitally everyone is made of MORE THAN ONE STORY. they're the accumulation of every tale that someone you touched tells about you. in most other stories kdj would've been the hero that saved her but orv lets him be just one part of the whole of her.
it also so perfectly sets up both kdj's misunderstanding of yjh (that he only saw him from one perspective, that he only knew one story about him) & the epilogue, where hsy is only able to save him through the power of everyone telling his story together, because the writing may be her's but the story is everyone's.
#orv#from my twt but BRAINWORMS ABT THEM AGAIN#god!!!!!!!!!!! god#i like. think abt that all the time. it's such a trope for someone to bring someone back by telling anecdotes abt them#but it's so rare for narrative to acknowledge that a single story however profound it is however loving the storyteller is#is never going to call someone back Whole#it's like that brennan lee mulligan quote ppl r like jewels that refracts light differently depending on whos interacting w them#anyways GOD THEM
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top 4 moots?
uh I feel sorta bad answering this in a picking favs type way, so ima do the ones i interact w/ the most + a little message abt them bc I can :3
@larz-barz (my ride or die frfr, we talk literally everyday)
@zenitsustherapist (I also talk with Isa very very often :D AND I LOVE IT)
@aceofstars0 (super cool, they are like- super awesome, very nice, I love them very much :3)
@saffron0v0 (I LOVE HOW OFTEN WE YAP OMG, ITS JUST ABCK AND FORTH AND I LOVE IT)
#I won’t pic favs#So once again#these are just the 4 ppl I interact w/ the most rn and a nice message abt them#No favorites.#Pls do not take it that way bc I will be consumed with guilt and will end up deleting this and feeling bad for a super freaking long time
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Something I've noticed lately is that every time I go to the doctor and they ask how long I've been on testosterone, they are always surprised when I say ~6 years, like in a way that suggests they don't interact with people who've been on t that long, and I'm just so??? What? Do transmascs not ever visit the doctor after just starting t? Where are the longer term t users and why am I one of the first ones in this establishment
#this has happened with like almost 10 different doctors in multiple different locations like this is a Pattern#including planned parenthood btw#in a relatively safe city to be trans mind you#so it's not like these doctors have never interacted w trans patients#and in fact a few have specifically stated theyve worked with many trans patients#so the shock at six years is very confusing to me#it doesn't feel like that long#and theyre always like “oh wow so a *really* long time then”#???????#anyway I'm getting my uterus out next week and its a little fucked up from t and my doc said shes seen this in ppl on t for a long time#and again im like. is 6 years a long time.#excuse me?#what do you meeaaaannnnnn#6 years is not long
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give this post a like if you want me to send you a meme from your tags ♥
#〈 out of worlds! 〉 ♕ ooc.#IVE BEEN ABSENT THE PAST FEW DAYS AND TOO BUSY TO CHECK THE DASH...#so i feel bad and wanna interact w ppl again...#but for now i head to bed#have a good night yall <3
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💖💖💖
hey guys, I just wanted to say to thank you for all the likes and reblogs and tags! This means a whole lot to me so thank you everyone, I appreciate it loads! 💖💖💖
I'm actually not new on tumblr, but I don't use it much so I still don't really understand how to interact with it. I get nice comments in the tags and I want to reply to them, but have no clue how to 😭 I read all the tags and I love them dearly!! Your feedback encourages me, thank youuu---
Also Bartimaeus fandom, I LOVE YOU ALL! Sending hugs 🫶🫶🫶
#THANK YOU SO MUCH#man i'm a bit lost on how to interact w ppl here#is there a tumblr etiquette or something#my apologies if this is kind of weird#thank you again for all the kind reblogs and tags#Bartimaeus fandom just needs to stay alive#LET'S GO STROUDVERSE
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i think alot of the drarry fics i encounter would not feel so frustrating if they just dont forgive draco and move forward from that
#instead of like. the passive aggressiveness everyone but maybe harry displays everytime#u dont have to forgive him! but i think holding things against him and mention it everytime draco makes a mistake is unfair#i wont be so bothered if it was just a flaw caused by being a young adult character#but its almost always painted like theyre justified for that and draco just has to stay silent abt it#bc if he retaliates hell be quote on quote bad again#if u accept draco onto ur life bc hes in a rel w harry or u make a rapport w him just dont forgive him!! and make new interactions on top#of that!!#i keep encountering fics where the misunderstanding is draco looks like hes the culprit#and either harry or his friends would be like i knew it u death eater scum!!#like theyre always just WAITING for it to drop#like holy hell dont let this guy into ur life if ure harboring bad feelings to him that u repress until u think hes done smth wrong#like idm if ppl want draco and harry to be balanced#but every single time this happens i get so annoyed at fanons harry and co#theres also the fact that alot of these conflates dracos crime way too much#that i cant help but feel projection#but thats another topic for me#i just want a grovelling fic man...#rambles
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god they really did do Justice kinda dirty in da2, huh
#antares speaks#no listen!! hear me out#i LOVE the character choice to have him join with Anders i think it’s perfect#i just wish they’d let him be his own character still more than just like… Anders’ understudy :/#he’s so interesting and tbh i wish you heard him and Anders speak to each other out loud!!!!#but of course they weren’t going to do that 😒😒#can’t be seen to be showing humanity to ppl who talk to themselves or… idk how to talk about this right bc i don’t know very much about it#so forgive me if my language is clumsy!!#but like some people have more than one personality or ‘voice’ i guess in their heads and that’s totally cool and we COULD let it be normal#just give me Anders AND Justice as distinct(ish) entities even even they get confused about who’s who!!#let me interact more w Justice!!! he’s in there even when Anders is being Normal:tm: and he could have been his own character still!!!!#give me back my friend okay :c#anders dragon age#justice dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age awakening#i’m playing awakening again and i’m having SOOOO many anders + justice feels :((( 💔💖✨#okay sorry for giving a ted talk in the tags. it will happen again lol
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rlly struggling to not just break down and off myself anyway even tho i have a fun trip planned ig. i dont wanna be nothing forever :' ) n i hate knowing that everyone dislikes me now
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i’m not quite done with updating every selfship page but i’ve decided i’m going to let myself post anyways ❤️ i’ll just hold off on making a pinned for now. hello everyone!
#talk talk ♪#<- new tag for casual chatting.. i have new tags for all my selfships too u guys will see them VERY shortly.#i’ll prob start slowly posting again by rbing a lot of old stuff! + sharing some new oc selfships i have w u all..#by monday i want to have my pinned up!#& i want to be more active in the selfship community so I think every saturday i’ll post an interactive 4 ppl to play with..#( starting next saturday )#feels good to get it ALL off my chest bc i’ve been excited to talk anyhow
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Anyway since they're apparently not going to go with the "Steph leading/babysitting a team of young heroes" book idea (pause for despair) I'd like to pitch MY idea for Steph: Steph gets back into playing piano (she already started doing so in Batgirls #18!) and ends up taking on a mystery related to the basement rock scene in Gotham (I know the underground concert game there is INSANE absolutely prime serial killer territory)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#stephanie brown#She took it on bc it ranked low on the bats scale of importance and bc she starts to realise how important music is to her#(I have whole essays I could write on the brief mentions of piano in Stephs comics and what they say)#and thus she wants to keep this community safe.#also it'd be nice to see how Steph operates solo again#acknowledging that (despite it often being denied to her) steph usually prefers to team up w/ others despite the difficulties#bc ultimately she's a person who seeks connection I think#<- which segues into my ''steph joins a band'' idea that i just think would be fun#gives her a fun n interesting occupation and potentially fun interactions w/ civilian characters-#- while keeping her distinct from other bats AND potentially giving her reasons to go outside of Gotham + form connections#(have Steph and red canary interacted one in dark crisis? yes. has red canary barely been in any comics full stop so far? also yes+#-but consider her being an amateur musician already endeared me too her and i wanna see them interact again)#(it's fun bc Steph was so used to being the amateur/newbie and got iced out for it and RC is that atm but ppl aren't. yknow. assholes to her#(i think it'd be a fun dynamic to play with!)#anyway. I'm a genius and dc should hire me. I'll make an EP for Steph's fake band just watch me
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