#and instead of actually doing something healthy about it he keeps lying to himself and doubling down

[kyeterna]

I had rewatched durarara a couple of months ago after like never finishing the second season when it first came out (I have always had a really hard time keeping up with ongoing shows) and assigned memes to some characters, here's the result.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Overprotective!Yandere X GN!Reader

Women in the office gawked at Theo as he walked by, shamelessly refusing to peel their eyes from the Adonis who walked among them. With dark wavy hair that framed his beauty mark speckled face and droopy emerald eyes always set into a warm smile, he was model material, yet refused to believe it. Theo was kind to everyone he spoke to, but no one could gain his full attention, and affection. That was reserved for his one and only best friend ❤️

❤️ Theo who was Reader's best friend since kindergarten

💀 Every life path Reader took, Theo took as well. They were his best friend, he just happened to have the same interests as Reader!

❤️ Besides, he didn't go to the same college as them and got into the same company in the same sales department just because he was good at numbers like Reader... he also needed to protect them!

💀 Reader was always a hard worker, they would often forget to eat meals while working overtime and would only sleep two hours a night if Theo wasn't there to gently keep them on track

❤️ And despite everyone referring to Reader as a cynical workaholic, Theo knew deep down that they were far too trusting

💀 Remember that girl in grade four who confessed to Reader at recess? Reader turned her down far too kindly! They made her think it was actually okay to be friends! Thank goodness Theo was there to threaten the kid to stay away protect his best friend from that weirdo

❤️ People often mistook the pair of besties for a couple, and that was just ridiculous!

💀 Yeah, the idea of Reader calling Theo their husband, kissing Reader's forehead each and every night, and instead of just tucking them into bed joining them in their shared bed made his heart clench in a funny way... they were just friends!

❤️ Just friends that were also roommates. The economy is terrible right now, just because they make enough money to live alone, didn't it make more sense to live together and save money?

💀 And Theo enjoyed cooking nutritional meals for his best friend! No instant ramen for Reader while Theo's around!

❤️ No, it wasn't jealousy whenever someone started hitting on Reader, he was just worried for them!

"Don't you think Jackson's a bit... creepy?" Theo asked his buddy while prepping dinner one night. Reader glanced up from their work laptop only briefly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Ah, I don't mean to sound rude! I'm sorry.. I just overheard him saying something pretty gross about Mrs. Kim.."

Jackson had asked Reader to grab a drink with him sometime just the other day, and he seemed like a genuinely kind dude. But Reader trusted Theo with their life, and wouldn't question anything he ever said, believing their best friend was simply incapable of lying. Reader grunted and went back to work, and Theo knew by that sound his bestie wasn't going out with Jackson anytime soon.

💀 Theo who could never admit to anyone, not even himself, that his relationship with Reader wasn't a healthy "friendship"

❤️ Convincing himself that his actions were completely normal things for friends to do was almost a full time job

💀 Sometimes he watched Reader sleep, admiring how their eyelashes fluttered as they dreamt ensuring that they were actually sleeping and not sneaking onto their computer

❤️ And breaking down into full blown hysterics when Reader doesn't text him back is just because he's so worried for them

💀 Reader always saw the error in their ways though, apologizing profusely when they finally came home from grocery shopping and seeing the results of forgetting to charge their phone

❤️ It was an especially hard day when Theo had to cut off his own mother. She said Theo was codependent on Reader! Reader doesn't know this though, they just heard that Theo's mother was criticizing their friendship

Reader was stopped at the front door, Theo draping his large frame over his best friend, his large eyes watering. "Please don't leave, (Reader)."

They sighed, wriggling an arm free to mess with Theo's hair. "The fridge is almost empty, dude."

"But it's raining outside!" Theo raised is voice unintentionally as he began to panic, spiraling into an anxiety attack. "What if you get sick? Please just stay home, I can order take out. Let's go shopping tomorrow!"

"Theo.."

"Please!" A sob choked out of the man as he seemingly lost his strength, collapsing against Reader as he stained their jacket with his tears. "I just want to keep you safe!"

Reader gave in, as they always did, guilt stabbing at their heart until they could calm Theo down and convince him they weren't leaving.

Even if Reader never fell in love with Theo, the man would be content just to be by Reader's side, forever being their one and only best friend. As long as he could continue protecting them, from bad dates conspiring to ruin Reader's life, from management that continuously accepted Reader's overtime volunteering, and from Reader's own silly bad choices... Theo was happy.

[yallthemwitches]

Strong Enough

After hearing Lily was in a duel with Rosier, James takes out his frustration.

Written for JilyKinktober Day 3 AND Day 6, Prompts: Angry Sex and Hair Pulling

AO3 Link, Rated E for very explicit!

James heard what happened from Peter of all people. He had been at quidditch practice, halfway through quaffle drills when sweaty and heaving, Peter bounded out onto the pitch under them, eyes frantic.

“Dueling—-Lily and Rosier——really dueling in the dungeon corridor!”

He didn’t even get off his broom. He flew into the nearest hall, landing into a sprint when flying couldn’t take him any further. Wasting time pushing past throngs of students, the fight had already subsided when he arrived, finding instead a very purple-faced Professor Slothrop muttering something about having to peel a whimpering Rosier off the rafters. 

He didn’t need anyone to tell him where Lily was, she always went to the same place when something upset her. James jogged two corridors over to find a small light glowing out of the abandoned potions classroom. Lily was there cutting ingredients like nothing happened, jaw clenched.

“What were you thinking.” 

He didn’t even wait for her to look up. Professor Slothrop hadn’t lied about her walking away unscathed, she looked as beautiful and healthy as ever, but getting that confirmation allowed for his worry to melt into an anger he had never felt towards her before. 

“Don’t come in here acting like you would have done any different,” she said cooly, continuing to cut. 

Her dismissal just fueled his anger. He crossed the room and tore the knife from her hand but she didn’t even flinch, looking up at him with slitted eyes. 

“Fuck off with that Evans. We both know what you did was stupid—-“

She scoffed. “Don’t talk to me about being stupid—you’ve been doing idiotic shit since—-“

“He’s a death eater, Lily,” his voice raised on its own accord, “or at least he is about to become one. He wouldn’t hesitate for a second—“

“And I’m supposed to take that lying down?” Lily stood back, balling her fists at her sides. “I’m supposed to act like a meek little mudblood just like they want?”

He really hadn’t meant to do it. He slammed her chest with the palms of his hands and she stumbled back into the stone wall of the classroom, her eyes grew wide.

“James—“

“You aren’t strong enough to take on everything. Merlin knows you can with most things, but this—-this was just foolish.”

He was pinning her to the wall now, holding her wrists over her head. Her eyes roamed his face, then dipped to look at his quidditch jersey, traveling lower to find the source of a growing hardness against her leg. Even in anger he couldn’t resist her—- if it was still even anger at all.  

He slotted himself between her legs, mouth just barely hovering over hers.

Their eyes locked again, but this time his gaze reflected back an entirely new emotion. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Then do you care to demonstrate to me, Potter? Show me how strong I actually need to be—-“

She knew he would snap. Using one hand to keep both of her wrists bound, he flipped her so her chest pressed into the wall. He wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her bottom half outwards to arch her back and press her ass into his now full erection. He leaned over her, reaching his hands around her front and under her skirt, pushing her knickers aside and thrusting a finger inside her, not wasting time. 

“Is that what you want? Try to get out from under me Evans, just try.”

She squirmed under him, but she knew she would never get out. His calloused hands had always been able to overpower her. The movement of her struggle just made her rub up against his cock more. He pushed another finger into her, sinking them to the knuckle. 

“That’s the best you can do, Evans?”

Lily had given up her struggle entirely as his fingers became relentless inside her, curling and twisting in the way he knew would make her scream.

“Fuck—-ah”

He used his body to push her harder into the wall, the hand holding her wrists clenching harder as his other hand worked. Moans started spilling from her, incoherent sounds that he could only get her to make when he was being rough.

“How fucking dare you? Trying to take on Rosier? Such a brave, idiotic little girl—-What if something happened to you—“

He bit into her neck and she screamed, twisting as his tongue carved a path up from her pressure point to her ear. She could feel her release bubbling deep within her, his fingers still pumping in and out, now dripping.

As swiftly as he entered, he removed his fingers from her. She moaned with discontent but he silenced it, parting her lips and forcing his drenched fingers into her mouth. Without hesitation, she swirled her tongue around them, tasting herself against his salty skin. 

“I know you are already close, but I’m not going to let you come yet—I’m going to fuck you into this wall and after I’m finished, and only then, can you come too.”

He took his fingers from her mouth, reaching between them to pull at the strings of his quidditch shorts. Cock already weeping, he tucked the back of her skirt into the waistband and pushed over the thin strip of knickers to swiftly enter her. James let out a deep moan, snapping his hips fast and hard against her arse.

“Fuck—-oh Christ Lily.”

The hands that held onto her wrists released, moving to the front of her blouse. With one quick yank, the top few buttons clattered to the floor and he snaked his arm down to grab her now exposed breast.

“James—-please—“

With every thrust her body bounced forward, pressing her chest farther into the wall while James held her hips jutted out to meet his. Now free for her hands to wander, she placed them on either side of her ass, spreading herself while holding her bottom half steady from his quick bucking hips. 

“Merlin, you are so beautiful Lily—fuck. I could look at you like this forever.”

He moved a hand to the back of her head, toying with curling his fingers into her hair which splayed against her back. At the feel of his grasp, she let out a mewing whine.

“Fuck me baby, pull my hair and fuck me fast until you come.”

James saw explosions around them, there was nothing that got him closer than hearing her be demanding. He took better hold of her hair, experimenting with tugging her head backwards. 

“Is this ok?”

Lily didn’t need to respond. The noise came from the deepest part of her, his name bubbled through like a long overdrawn note. James looked down and watched as his cock disappeared between her legs, slick with her arousal that had begun to drip down onto the ground.

“I can’t hold it love, I’m going to come.”

At his warning, Lily slammed her hips backward with all her weight, rocking on her heels.

“Come for me baby—-please, let me feel you.”

He obliged. With one last snap of his hips, he released into her, calling out her name and leaning so his forehead rested between her shoulders.

“James—-I’m gonna—“

He rebounded quickly, needing to feel her come. Following the rhythm of her hips he guided her to slide deeper on his cock.

“Come for me baby, you were a good girl—waiting like I asked.”

She let out a series of swears before chanting his name, muscles tightening around him, teetering on the edge. 

“Come for me—-that’s it—“

Her body shook, she threw her body back into him, pushing his cock deep into her before her legs gave out underneath. James wrapped his arms around her stomach, holding her in place, kissing a path from her shoulder to her neck. 

Now satisfied and back to reality, James let them fall to the floor in a heap. He stroked her hair, the same place he had roughly grasped earlier.

“Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I kinda lost it—“

Lily kissed the worry off his face and pressed her forehead to him. 

“I was so worried…when I heard—-I guess I lost control.”

She pulled his face up to look at her, giving him a light nip on the nose. He grabbed her face in both his hands and kissed her lips softly, adrenaline spent.

“Don’t worry Potter, I can hold my own, remember?”

[callmissrogers]

There For His Girl | Steve Rogers x Reader One Short

Summary: Y/n has reached her limit. Work has been difficult. People have been short, and some just mean. It all brings her back to her childhood, and right now, she just wants to pretend to be ok. So determined to pretend she tries to push her concerned husband away.

WARNINGS ⚠️ This contains mentions of a toxic relationship with the reader's mother and quotes some of their arguments. If this is a trigger for you, please DO NOT proceed. It also contains angst, fluff, and comfort. Also, very little editing and wrote on my phone.

Steve Rogers x wife reader

Word count: 1,370

Notes: The next part in the That's My Girl series will be going up today or tomorrow. I was feeling the need for some comfort myself, so this is what I wrote. Hope you like it!

Y/n slammed the door, tears streaming down her face she pressed her back into the wall and slid down until she was a small ball on the floor.

"Why do I do this?" She sobbed hating herself.

Y/n had had a rough few days. It seemed like no matter what she did or said, people were short with her. Everything was going wrong, and after one mistake, which led to a snarky backhanded compliment from Tony Stark himself, well, Y/n was done. Usually, it didn't get to her like this anymore, but her emotions frayed to a breaking point.

Her dad always told her she wore her heart on her sleeve but she just thought her mom was right and that instead of enduring this made her a nuisance.

Why should she be so bothered when people utter unkind things to her?

Why can't she pull herself together?

"You're always start crying! Stop trying to make me feel bad"

"You're stabbing me in the back by trying to do something different"

"Don't you know I need you here? Stop thinking about yourself and making everything harder on me"

This and many other instances where y/n would be belittled, ridiculed, screamed at, lectured for two hours at 1 in the morning, and reduced to making herself as small and as unseen as possible while being a sobbing mess, had made her what she is today.

Too sensitive. At least that's what she told herself at times like this.

And why couldn't she just talk about it like a normal person instead of blowing something trivial out of proportion?

Literally five minutes ago....

Steve had come home the night before. Poor guy had been so tired that he fell asleep in uniform on the couch.

Y/n had been carefully tiptoeing around the kitchen so as not to accidentally wake him up. Intending to surprise him before heading to work.

She was supposed to be going over mission plans with Vision today. This was the kind of work that excited her. None of the agents would bother them while they were working, which meant that she could just disappear for the day.

She platted up breakfast and carried it over to set it on the coffee table in front of the sleep soilder.

Tho he didn't actually wake up until she set down his mug of coffee.

Eyes fluttering open he peered up at her groggyily. "Hi" He mumbled, pushing himself upright. "Hey sleepy head." Y/n said, trying to make her voice sound chipper.

Steve sighed contentedly as he stretched out his muscles before standing up.

"Mind if I go change clothes before I enjoy this masterpiece?" He asked. Y/n turned to face him, attempting to smooth down his wild bedhead and then said, "Go ahead"

He was back a matter of moments, settling down next to her and drinking deeply from his coffee.

"Thank you for this," He sighed leaning over and gently kissing her on the cheek. Y/n just nodded, trying to keep her mind on a healthy track she focused on eating.

"Did you sleep well?" Steve asked. Taking another bite, she thought about lying and telling him that she had had the best night sleep.

"Sorta" She said trying to stiffle a yawn. "What does sorta mean?" Steve asked turning to look at her. "Nothing really. I'm good! Nothing some strong coffee won't fix."

Steve placed his hands on her shoulders, making her look at him. He studied the dark circles, the faint tint of bloodshot in her eyes, how she held herself and her fiddling hands.

"Hm," He said, his voice low in his chest.

Y/n knew exactly what he was doing, shaking his hands off her shoulders and standing up she said, "I should probably get ready for work."

Steve stood up, grabbing her wrist and stopping her. "Y/n, you look exhausted." "I'm fine" "You're twirling your hair, which means you're not telling the truth." "Steve, c'mon I don't have time for this" "Y/n, it looks like you've been crying" She pulled his hand off her wrist and started to walk away from him, "I'm going to work." "Sweetheart, please just tell me what's - " "Steve! Please just listen to me and leave me alone!" She yelled, cutting him off. She ran off to the bedroom, and that's when the door slammed.

Steve stood there a moment, thinking about honoring her request and leaving her be. But his protective nature overtook him and he decided that the best thing to do would be to be there for his girl.

In the bedroom.

Y/n sat against the wall still crying into her hands, body trembling, thinking hateful thoughts about herself.

She heard Steve knock on the door, saying "Sweetheart, can I come in?"

When she didn't answer him, he slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

She could feel him kneeling down in front of her, "Sweetheart," He whispered, trying to tuck her hair behind her ear to which she only buried her face further.

The next thing that happened, was Steve scooping her up into his arms and settling down in the arm chair that sat in the room.

Somehow this just made her cry more.

"Oh honey, come on now. Take a deep breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth." He soothed.

After about ten minutes of this, her crying settled down, breath becoming rhythmic.

Once he was sure that she had calmed down enough to be able to communicate with him, he asked his voice low and rumbling through his chest, "Do you wanna talk about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

She nodded against his shirt. "Everything" she gasped. "Everything?" He asked, pulling her back so he could look her in the face. Dabbing away the leftover tears.

"I'm too emotional. Everything the last few days just hurts. I let everything get under my skin... I just. . Lately, people and Stark are just mean, or maybe I'm just too sensitive.. and now I've yelled at you, too." She said, trying to get up.

"Now hold on a minute, " He cooed, keeping her in place.

"What did Tony say?" "Nothing. I messed up and he was being sarcastic, but I'm such a mess that it hurt" she said her voice breaking. "Alright. Listen to me. One, you are not too emotional. The world tells everyone to button up and be cynical. You, my dear, are a light in all that mess. You do care and that's a very good thing -- I don't want you to listen to anyone that would belittle that, ok?" He asked getting a slow, uncertain nod in response. "Ok. Secondly, people can be mean, especially Stark. People also have power trips and want to pull people down to make themselves feel stronger or better. This means there's one thing you can always be certain of: Do you know what that is?" "What?" "They're wrong. Anyone who would belittle you to make a point or to win an argument or for any other reason, is just a bully." "But what if-" "ah. No what ifs. Thirdly, and this one is the one that's most important of the three." "Then why'd it come last?" She asked clearly beginning to feel a little bit better if she could tease him now. Steve simply rolled his eyes and continued,

"I want you to remember that when you're upset, you can always talk to me. No matter how silly it might make you feel, your feelings are safe with me." "Steve I just yelled at you for no rea-" "No. You had a reason. You were upset. I can see that and you know what that means? It means I can take it too. When I put this ring on your finger," He said taking her hand in his and running a finger across her knuckles. "I signed up for this. I'd rather have you get emotional than bottle things up and hide them from me."

Y/n looked down at their still intertwined hands and then back up at him. Nodding again and breathed out an "ok"

"Ok." Steve replied, giving her his usual comforting smile and kissing her forehead.

[fujoshifiona]

Taka's Crossroad

taka found himself at a crossroads.

on one hand, sleeping on your back is considered the healthiest position to sleep in, it is what he is used to, gives him and Mondo enough to sleep in the same bed and lets him comfortably sprawl out to support body growth.

on the other hand. tucking onto his side, laying on mondos shoulder, letting mondos warm arm run down his back to let the calloused hand sit on his lower back, hooking his leg over mondos thigh to try and steal his warmth, letting his hand use mondos chest as something to grasp and squeeze in his sleep, listening to his heartbeat instead of his snoring...

is not good for his posture. It's actually the worst position for his spinal health, according to multiple online sources. when he woke up in that position his back didn't hurt at all but just because it didn't hurt now doesn't mean it won't be a problem in the future.

he can't lie and say it looks good for sleeping on his side but he should consider the multiple benefits it offers. for one, this position gives him plenty of body heat to keep himself warm when the school dorm blanket isn't enough, it is healthy for his relationship and allows them to connect their manly bond by close proximity to each other's muscles and mondo seems to sleep better as indicated by him sleeping through their alarm.

maybe that might be a point against sleeping on his side, since mondo didn't wake up, Taka had to spend ten minutes trying to slip out of sleeping Mondo's iron grip.

on one hand, it is his first romantic relationship so he should try to tighten their bond. on the other hand, his family has a history of back problems so he shouldn't be promoting behaviour that will make it worse.

he could go back and forth forever, maybe a compromise might work?

would it be a good idea to use it as a treat to motivate himself for tasks or remove it as a punishment? well, he isn't struggling in any classes at the moment so he'll think about that later in the school year. he would consider it a motivation for mondo but he heard withholding affection is not good for the early stages of a relationship.

another point against it being a motivator is that it's not something he did consciously, he just woke up on the other side of the bed, mondo didn't pull him as he was in the same position as when Taka got into bed. it was something his unconscious mind did, it's not like he can control it...

to control he would have to make sure his limp body couldn't slowly gravitate towards the source of warm heat...

... if this issue persisted would he have to not sleep in the same bed as his kyoudai? it's not like they shared a bed that long, only for about 2 weeks so he can go without. oh no, both choices are bad, either he purposefully ruins his health or hurts his rela-

"Are you ok Taka?" mondo said bringing Taka out his thoughts. they were sitting on the bed in their briefs with Mondo lying with his arms behind his head and Taka sitting on his ankles next to him.

"oh.. yes I was just considering options," Taka said

"Can you do it while lying down, your staring at my chest was cute for a bit but now it's getting creepy?" Mondo said pushing himself up

"just a second, what do you prefer, sle-" Taka felt Modno wrap his arms around his torso and pull him towards his chest

"shut up, it can wait for tomorrow," Mondo said interrupting Taka

it took some manhandling on Mondo's part and struggling on Taka's end but it ended with Mondo on his back pulling takas back onto his chest. Taka's head resting on Mondo's pillows he calls pecs.

taka was struggling to sit up but was stopped by mondos arm caging him in, he was about to vocally protest before he realised something

in this position he gets the best of both options, he gets the warmth of Mondo's body, instead of one thick arm holding him it's two and now that his body is relaxing he can hear Mondo's heartbeat.

"calm down already and go to sleep" Mondo said craning his neck a bit to kiss the top of takas head. he reached down, barely grabbing the top of the blanket and yanked it over them both

"of course," Taka said "You better not sleep through the alarm again" Taka kicked his feet, lifting the blanket to fit over both their feet

"Sure, I guess," Mondo said

mondo relaxed his grip, his grasp losing to his hands laying on different parts of Taka's torso. taka shifted his hip to slot in between Mondo's legs better, letting one leg sandwich itself between Mondo's legs and letting the other stretch out and sprawl across the bed.

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Barry Berkman and Self-Hatred

I’ve been thinking a lot about Barry and self-hatred, and the way he’s utterly consumed by it at the beginning of the season

but by episode 3 he's fixated on what Sally said about feeling safe with him and going on about how much he helped Gene and how he's "a good friend and a good person."

I was trying to figure out how he made this switch so quickly, but then I realized it probably wasn't a switch at all.

Barry still hates himself, but he's clinging to his delusional ideas about helping Gene and being a safe place for Sally because those are the only things he can convince himself are good deeds. It's the only way he can hold on to any notion of himself as a good person, because if he lets go of that what does he have left? He's never actually woken up from the delusion that he was doing Gene some amazing service, and I think Sally telling Barry she feels safe with Barry helped bring him out of the self-loathing pit he was in. Which, I mean, he's still in it - he just can't strike a balance between self-congratulation and self-loathing, so instead of having anything resembling a healthy self esteem he’s just started oscillating between the two extremes.

Basically, I think a core part of the problem is that - without specialized therapeutic help - I don't think Barry's brain can allow him to simultaneously take accountability for his actions and also keep from falling into a deep, self-hatred induced depression. I do actually think the whole balancing act of learning self-love and self-forgiveness while also facing up to his actions and feeling genuine remorse would eventually be possible for Barry - but very, very difficult and not something he could just learn to do all on his own.

So - in Barry's subconscious mind - if he admits he wasn't a force for good in Sally's and Gene's lives, he'll have no choice but to give up and give into self hatred completely. He's literally lying to himself about his own actions in order to survive.

Sally and Gene are also the two people who represent Barry's hopes for a new life. If he admits to himself he was never actually helping Gene and that he isn't actually a safe person for Sally to be with . . . that would mean giving up on the idea that he can be a better person, that he can have hope and human connection and love in his life. And because Barry is - as Gene once said - deeply human, he can't give up on that.

Clinging to this false version of his actions is the only way he can keep that dream alive.

[silverloreleysfanfics]

As promised, here’s a sneak peek of the Encanto/Descendants fic that came out this headcanon and this discussion with @dragoneyes618.

Actually, I decided to put two. It’s all still in draft form, mind you, so no polishing nor grammar check or else, and full of holes I have to fill.

First bit is a companion piece of the first part I wrote, same day, Carlos’ fifth birthday, but on the Isle.

The second is a part of the first discussion between Carlos and Bruno. In my fic, Cruella kicked Bruno out when Carlos was small, but Bruno decided to stay in the secret passageways and rooms of the mansion, earning the fame of “the Green Ghost of Hell Hall“. Carlos had no idea until after Ben suggested the VKs to look for relatives who could legally take custody of them in Auradon and Cecil, Cruella’s brother, decided to tell Carlos about Bruno and how to find him. Hence the first proper conversation between father and son. Also, in my ‘verse, Encanto is in Avalor, so the people of Encanto were running from Shuriki’s soldiers when the Miracle happened.

It’s long, so, all under cut:

bit 1

Carlos would turn five the next day.

If they had been at Casita, he'd have his gift ceremony that night. A new outfit sewn for the occasion, music and special food, lights and flowers and then his own room, big and spacious, filled with anything he may need, and a gift, a magic of his own that would make his life brighter.

As things were, Carlos never had a single piece of clothing that had not belonged to someone else or was the result of recyclying, the food he'd eat would be the same as ever, unhealty and moldy and rotten, flowers didn't grow on the Isle and under the Barrier there was no magic, so it was unlikely a gift could show up.

Oh, Bruno was praying for it to come all the same. For anything. A small thing, even one like his, seeing the future could actually be useful on the Isle, he could threathen people with it or skirm out of danger if he knew it in advance. Or one like Pepa's, being able to control even a bit the weather could make him needed and dangerous both, and if he got one like Julieta's even the inedible food would heal him and keep him healthy, the Lord knew the boy needed it. Growing plants like Isabela's could be good for defense and growing food and he was almost sure Luisa's must have had to do with physical strenght, that would be optimal on the Isle, but really, anything would do.

As long as something came.

As long as the Miracle could get there and protect the - currently - youngest Madrigal child a little bit.

As long as gifts weren't restricted to children who lived inside Casita because, sure as hell, Carlos couldn't be farther from Casita and a room of his own and the ceremony he should have.

Because he should have one. He should have a good gift and his own room in a good home and get it all that very night.

But life can be unfair. It surely was to the Isle kids, who more who less.

Instead of having a party, even a meager one as there could be one on the Isle, Carlos would spend the entirety of his fifth birthday alone, dragging around his malnourished body, his mother's screeches would bring tears to his eyes, and he'd end the day lying on the floor of a fur closet riddled with bear traps without even the small comfort of a pillow, like any other day in the little miserable life of an Isle Kid.

Unfair.

But, as it often happened, bad things could get worse.

In fact, Carlos had been a little sluggish for the better part of the day, and it was sheer luck Cruella was having a creative fit aka the only time she left the kid alone and completely forgot the rest of the world. It also meant she didn't bother giving him food, but Carlos was smart enough to get some himself, thanks the Lord.

It was in the late evening, while mending a hole in the old robe he found in the abandoned chest in the attic, he guessed one that used to belong to one of the previous de Vil masters if not to Baron Hellman even, that Bruno was alerted by the rats who jumped up and down to get his attention. It didn't seem it was because one of them had had a skirmish with Beelzebub, Carlos' kitten he received when he attended the Evil Queen's daughter's birthday, but something just as urgent. Something involving Carlos, for sure.

Bruno immediately dropped everything and ran to see what was the matter. The inside of the closet was dark, Carlos must have not dared to turn on the light, but Bruno had no doubt the boy was crying. He had become far too accustomed to the sound of his son's tears for his liking to mistake it.

It broke his heart every time and tonight even more so, knowing what a special day the following would be. Perhaps Carlos knew too and that was the reason of his despair.

But no, there was something wrong in his crying. It was hoarse, riddled with small hiccups and moments when it seemed he was out of breath, peppered with tiny coughing fits.

Something was very wrong.

His eyes accustomed to the darkness enough to let him see Carlos' eyes were completely shut so he risked to stick his head a bit out the vent to get a closer look. It didn't take an expert to figure out the boy was both feverish and out of consciousness.

With less hesitations, Bruno climbed down. The fur closet was a bit cramped with all the bear traps riddling the floor and he had to manuever himself quite a bit to go check Carlos' temperature without setting any off.

The boy was sweating and burning, his nose was runny and there were some spots on the side of his head, next to his ears.

"Oh, no" Bruno thought as he crossed his chest thrice "Nonono, this can't be" He had heard of it from Horace and Jasper, who were discussing it a few days before: the Isle was swept by an epidemics that hit mostly children. It was as well as harmless for adults but could be very bad for kids. Jace, Jasper's son, had gotten it and they suspected Harry, Horace's son, did too, so the two brothers had been kicked out the respective homes to get supplies to aid. Of course, the two had ran to Cruella to inform her and ask her help, she had ordered them to keep their "furless mutts" away from Carlos, least he caught that too and couldn't do his chores. So much for motherly concern.

Clearly, it had not been enough. The symptoms, especially the blotched spots near his ears, were unmistakable, Bruno was sure Carlos had contracted it. He didn't know what to do. Julieta had always been the one with the remedy for any ailment, he couldn't remember what did the family do before she got her gift. Bruno tried to reign in his panic. If he panicked, no one would help Carlos, he just knew, at least until Ella came out her creative fit she would not react even to bombs, and there was no way to know when that would happen.

"Focus" he scolded himself.

Carlos was ill, ill people needed care. Doctor, he had to find a doctor. But on the Isle of the Lost, who could be trustworthy? Medicines, then. There was none in Hell Hall, but if the illness was spred to all the Isle, there had to be someone out there who'd have something.

So there Bruno went, setting foot outside the walls of Hell Hall for the first time in two years, with no little amount of knocking on wood and finger-crossing and so forth, hoping and praying he could go back without troubles with the cure for his suffering son. § Dr Facilier wasn't a real doctor, but he was the closest thing the Isle had besides the witches - and Bruno wouldn't go anywhere near the witches - and the only one who required a fair enough price for his expertise.

Not to mention, Faciler was a father, and one of the few ones around there who actually cared for his kids: when the epidemics started, Faciler started to work on a cure, afraid as he was he could lose his daughters to it, and now he had perfected the only effective treatment of the whole Isle of the Lost.

It had been Will Baker to tell Bruno that much, two of his kids had taken it and were now better, both Anthony and Ava had recovered at good pace and even Drusilla, the newborn of Drizella, had been miraculously saved by the concoction the voodoo master sold, after the witches had told them there was nothing to do for a child this small.

[...] "As for the payment..."

Bruno hesitated for about two seconds before pulling out the ring from his pocket. It was a real emerald, as far as he knew, one of the few real jewels left in Hell Hall. He knew it was techically stealing - he begged the Lord for forgiveness and promised he would make penance - but on the other hand, wasn't he using the family fortune for one of its members? Carlos was a de Vil, technically the heir of the family, that was for him. Bruno was only a proxy, and for a good reason.

If Cruella wouldn't move a finger for her son, so lost in her own mind she didn't even realize Carlos was ill, he would.

Facilier's eyes narrowed at the gem, studying it "May I ask where did you get this from, my friend?"

"It's my wife's" not a lie, Bruno was already committing enough sins to add lies to the pile "Is it not enough?" he worried, like an afterthought.

"It's adequate" Faciler replied, holding out his long fingers to get the item. Bruno took it back, clutching it to his chest "The cure first"

The other man rolled his eyes "Of course, I am a gentleman. My deals are always paid for on both sides"

His hand's shadow detached from the wall and brought a little vial of opaque glass in which it could be barely seen the slushing of some dense liquid.

"Two drops thrice a day for a child, five for an adult. Only one if the child is younger than two" the Shadow Man recited, the tone of one who repeated the instructions ad nauseam.

Bruno looked at the vial, offered by the unbodied hand, then took it and gave it the ring in exchange "Thank you"

Facilier laughed, the shadow put the piece of jewelry in his pocket "It's been a while since I heard that last. You must be a slow learner, Mr de Vil"

Bruno jumped in his skin "How...?"

"From a future-teller to another, let me give you some free advice: don't show how meek you are, unless it's to deceive others. Kindness is weakness down here. Now go, your boy's waiting"

[...] Carlos didn't get a gift, not that night nor the next, but Bruno wasn't thinking about that, not while he was far too busy keeping his boy alive.

The illness could have claimed his life. Any illness could. Carlos was underfed, underweight, had too many chores for his age and a mother who didn't know how to be one, nor cared to learn.

And yet Carlos survived not only that night, and the next, and the whole week, but also the following months and years.

Whether it was thanks to Facilier's medicine, to Bruno's secret care, or a combination of both, he recovered in full. And he kept on living.

And he didn't get ill again, never that badly. Not even when another epidemic swept the Isle a few years later, not when seasonal flues came, or a particularly late barge left the islanders with food even more rotten than usual and accidental poisoning was rampant for a few weeks.

Bruno wasn't sure if he had to thank Facilier, or God, or the Miracle that had somehow found its way to Carlos. He was thankful Carlos was on his way to grow into his teen years, as long as health was involved.

He was still growing slowly, thin and a tad on the weak side - which Bruno blamed on genetics and too little food - but he was growing. And that, on the Isle of the Lost, was a bit of a miracle in itself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bit 2

Carlos tried to remember if he ever saw him. His father had to be really good at disappearing, but...

There were many times Carlos fell asleep before he could finish the chores Cruella gave him, only to find them done in the morning. Times his mother hid the key of the pantry to deny him food and he found some stashed in his closet-room even if he didn't remember leaving it there. Times he got hurt and wasn't sure his bandagings or self-medications were done right, yet discovering with relief they were more than fine after some sleep.

Long nights being ill and imagining someone gave him water and medicine and sang to him now felt a little less fever dreams and a bit more real instances. Pieces for his tech he needed being in the toolbox when they definitely hadn't been there before.

Little things. Silent, almost invisible signs of something - someone - taking care of him despite everything.

He had tricked himself thinking it had been his mother, doing things for him when he wasn't watching, tough love or something, or maybe pity from Jasper and Horace.

This... made more sense.

"I'm not a good father, I know. I'm not good with kids, or with people for that matter, and I didn't know how to live alone out there, just me and you. I always had mamà and Casita and mi hermanes, your aunts, I wanted to take you away when your mom got worse but I didn't know how we would have survived, just the two of us, without help, assuming she would have let me keep you, so I had to let you stay here and this caused you pain, I know. I'm sorry, Carlos"

"You spent years in the walls of Hell Hall just for my sake?"

"Well, after you started going to school I went out a bit too, while you weren't home, mostly"

[...] "What do you even do in here all the time?"

"Lots of things, actually! I sew, clean, do repairs, and I have free entertainment! I write ratanovelas and plays. I used to say my gift was acting, but I'm good with playwriting, if I can say so..."

"You write what?"

"Ratanovelas. Mr Ratigan jr is my top actor, and I'd have more talents if Beelzebub didn't chase away most of them"

"But animals can't speak under the barrier"

"They're very expressive though"

"You've been alone for too long" Carlos smiled "And yet you're still more sane than mom"

"That's not so hard" Bruno grimaced, then flailed his hands "Nonono, forget I said that, I shouldn't teach you to disrespect your elders, especially your mother" Carlos didn't think that respect for elders should mean to never tell the truth, but it was a thought he held deep down, bottled by years of receiving beatings from older kids and adults for running his mouth too smart.

"I don't understand"

"Uh?"

"I mean, you are so... nice. What did you see in mom?"

"I, uh, was among the last to be brought to the Isle, you see. Mi familia did what they could to keep me there as long as possible, but..." he shrugged "I was in the same boat as your uncle Cecil and he said he was going to not be separated from his family, especially his sister. He was fine with me following him and introduced me to many people once here, and talked so highly about his sister I had no reason to think badly of her. We didn't get many outiside news in Encanto and there were lots of people more or less innocent thrown in the last barges. When I met her she was... less bad than now, you know? in the head" he tapped his temple for emphasis "And they made me think her crimes were, like, illegal business practices, I thought that meant tax evasion or fraud, it wasn't that bad compared to murderers and evil magicians. I saw a large familia like mine and they're nice enough when they try and Ella was, uh, she could be be really charming when she wanted to"

"You still call her Ella, like uncle Cecil does" Carlos noted, not without a bit of surprise.

Bruno smiled a bit and lowered his eyes with a tiny shrug "She was my only one, you know? I never had a relationship before, or after. In a way, she'll always be my one, or the woman she was back then will be. I told you, she was different when I met her, a different woman. I thought she loved me"

"Yeah, me too"

"I wish I could say she loves you in her own weird way, but..."

"I know. It's fine, really. I have known for a while, the most precious thing in her life are her furs, not me"

"If it helps, you are mine"

"Your what?"

"Most precious. Person, not thing. Important. Loved. I'm terrible at this, I know..."

Whatever remained of Carlos' anger flew away at that.

[...] "Okay, hear that, Ben asked us if we had more family in Auradon, to get custody of us VKs so we can stay out there without coming back here for holidays and stuff unless we want to"

"That's good! It will do you well. You're already so much healthier since I last saw you, and Julieta's food will do you plenty good..."

"Yeah, but..."

"Oh, no. No, you don't worry about it. Or me. Mi familia, our familia, they'll greet you with open arms. Julieta, tu tìa, will for sure, you can ask for her. Pepa will need a bit to come around but Felix will..."

"How can you be so sure? They sent you away"

"Err... The fears of the villagers sent me away... well, technically the Security Services did, if we want to be precise. Maybe Pepa was still a little upset for the hurricane during her wedding, but I know how much she thundered when I was taken away. Mi familia wanted me to stay and they'll want you too, I saw it!" "I think I missed something"

"You don't know about Encanto?"

Carlos shook his head "I knew nothing about you at all before today"

"Oh, it's, well, it's all about the Miracle. The Miracle made Encanto what it is, it protected our people when they were running from Shuriki's horsemen, you know, Avalor's usurper, by raising mountains around the valley and giving us a safe place to live, and then it made Casita, our magic home. And the same Miracle that makes Casita special gives a gift and a special room to each Madrigal child for their fifth birthday, so we can help the village more. I got visions of the future, Pepa can control weather, Julieta's food can heal next to anything"

"Whoa"

Bruno nodded "I'm not sure what all your primas' gifts are, I'm sure Isabela had to do with plants because in my visions she was always surrounded by flowers and vines, and Dolores has something like good hearing or mind reading? and I think Luisa has strength? I'm not sure about the rest, the visions about Mirabel were, uh, it doesn't matter. Oh, you could get yours too, once there! Or not, I don't know if it could happen only on your fifth birthday..."

Carlos shook his head "That's a lot to unpack"

"Ah, yes, sorry" he seemed to shrink back, the little enthusiasm elicited by talking about his family dissolved in a hearbeat "Anyway, Casita is a great home to live in, you'll be cared for in there"

"If they'll want me"

"They will. They didn't want me to leave, mamà, your Abuela, wanted to have the family close at all times, having you around will make them happy. And I saw it, I saw you in Casita! It was my first vision since I got here, it happened when the Barrier opened during the coronation. You'll be fine, mijo"

[...] "I don't understand" Carlos took one of the props made for the small rat-scenery and twirled it in his fingers "Why are you even here? What did you do to end up on the Isle?"

"It's a bit, uh, complicated. It wasn't things I did on purpose, but people thought I did. Could. It's complicated"

Carlos listened him explain the gift and its working and why the Safety Services decided his place was on the Isle. Too dangerous to be left free.

"But if you can't control the visions it means you're just a spectator, not a wrongdoer"

"That's what I tried to explain! But they didn't listen, they had already drawn conclusions and got King Beast to sign my sentence papers. They also said Pepa's gift was dangerous too, but if I left and the others kept her in check they'll let her off the hook since she could control herself and I couldn't"

"They threathened you?"

He shrugged "It was either just me willingly, or both of us by force, and Dolores was just born and then there would have been no Camilo and Antonio, Julieta and mamà would have been devastated, I couldn't destroy the family by being selfish. I, uh, I love my family"

"You sacrificed for them?"

Bruno shrugged again "I'm just me. The brujo, the black sheep, the useless one. I could foresee things but not how to prevent them, I brought nothing to Encanto. I tried to make myself useful but at the end I gave them only grief. I'm sure they're better off without me"

[...] "No one thought anyone would ever get out the Isle a year ago, and now there are VKs roaming around in Auradon. Have some faith"

"I don't think I would have survived here without faith. I'll hold on, don't worry for me" Bruno shrugged and put something in his hand.

Carlos looked at it and frowned.

"It's salt. You throw it behind you, to ward off bad luck" Bruno explained and proceeded to demonstrate it with a pinch of his own.

"Oh" Carlos scrunched his nose but replicated the gesture.

"Some sugar too would be good, but that's hard to find here, you'll have to make do with salt. I'll keep my fingers crossed"

Okay, maybe he had overestimated how sane his father was.

§§§

[boozles]

Okay, so I was a bit high whilst watching Only Friends this week, so my live blogging is a little rambly and dramatic XD

* MEW HAS TWO MUMS OMG

* OMG Boston’s cocky face, I want to punch it (I love you Neo)

* Oh gosh, the way Ray keeps looking at him - HE KNOWS HE KNOWS

* OMG HAS BOSTON TAKEN NICK ON A DATE TO THE WATER SKIING (they must have had a ball filming this show)

* YES NICK CALL HIM OHT ON HIS BULLSHIT

* OMG IT WAS DRAKE WHO RECORDED BOSTON AND OH MY FUCKING GOD NICK’S FACE WHEN BOSTON CALLED DRAKE DISGUSTING FOR THE RECORDING OOOOOHHHH BOY

* DRAKE’S NAME IS GAP OKAY

* SAND YOU ARE SUCH A MUMMYS BOY AND A CARER AND I LOVE YOU

* THAT FUCKING NOSE SCRUNCH I CANT HANDLE THIS

* Sand is so open with his mum and I love that. The way he was like YEAH WE FUCK BUDDIES I can’t

* Btw Sand’s mum’s make up is stunning - that eyeliner

* Oh no MEW AND TOO ARE ALSO THERE LETS NOT FIGHT BOYS

* UGH TOP I LOVE YOU RVEN THOUGH IM CONSTANTLY SCRUTINISING YOU

* OH NO TOP AND SAND INTERACTION AND SAND KNOWS

* Okay, so I totally understand Sand’s need to be rude to Top, but Too was actually being genuine initially. The thing is, it’s the way Top says things.

* Yeah, it’s gonna turn out Top and Sand are brothers, it has to. It’s my head canon until it’s actually canon.

* Oh no, don’t let Top into your head baby boy. WHY DID YOU SMASH YOUR PHONE?

* Oooh we having a sneaky plan, Sandy boy? OMG IS HE GOING TO STEAL THE RECORDING?! OR DID HE SEND IT TO RAY?! OMG I AM HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN MY FRIENDS

* Top is such a cunt but he so sweet with Mew, idec what anyone else thinks. Minus the cheating he’s a good boyfriend. (I can’t believe I just fucking typed that) he’s so fucking cute.

* RAY BABY YOURE FINALLY HERE

* OH NO Sand is going to tell Ray isn’t he? I FEEL SO WORRIED

* Ugh I hate the way Ray is just like “are you not okay I like someone else” because that fucking hurts when they say that to you

* Oh fuck the way Ray grabbed that ball and the music suddenly dropped to a negative my stomach dropped

* IT WAS THE RECORDING HE STOLE AND FUCK RAY LOOKS SO FUCKING ANGRY but you can tell it’s because of what’s been done to his friend not just because he likes him

* OH GOD SAND IS REALLY GETTING HIS OWN BACK THIS EPISODE AND ALL HES DOING IS TELL THE TRUTH

* OH NICKY BABY YOU JUST KEEP BEING AROUND WHEN PEOPLE SAY THINGS THAT ARE GONNA HURT YOU

* UGH TON JUST NEVER THINKS BEFORE HE SPEAKS AND NICK NEEDS TO STOP LYING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS

* Ton. TON. You can not defend sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend. Stop.

* Why does Book look weird without glasses now?

* BOSTON IS ABSOLUTELY SHITTING HIMSELF AT THIS PARTY

* Cheum, you do not help any situation in which you are in.

* BOSTON DO YOU WANT TO DIE? BECAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU DIE.

* I DONT KNOW WHY BUT NY HIGH ASS WAS LIKE IMAGINE SOMEONE GOT MEW NEW GLASSES FOR HIS BIRTHDAY HOW FUCKING FUNNY WOUKD THAT BE

* OMFG TOP THAT IS THE CUTEST PRESENT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

* BOSTON AND RAY LOOK PHYSICALLY SICK

* OH MEW FUCK OFF WITH THE COMMENTS ABOUT RAY’S DRINKING YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM BY DOING THAT

* Okay, so I get wanting your friends to be healthy and safe but the way Ray treats this who use recreational drugs makes me uncomfortable. He seems to think people should just stop, and it’s not that easy. And telling him he’s going to die from it? Fuck. No.

* Fuck, Khaotung is so good at playing someone on something. He’s so good at acting with his eyes??

* OH NO SAND’S FACE WHEN HE SAW RAY HAD GRABBED THE MIC OH RAY NO PLEASE DONT DO THIS YOURE MAKING A MISTAKE

* OH NO HES OUTING ALL THE BAD THINGS HIS FRIENDS HAVE DONE ISNT HE

* NO YOU FUCKING DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SAND. RAY I LOVE YOU BUT SAND IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO HASN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG SO OLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE

* AND FUCKING OFFERING SAND MONEY TO SLEEP WITH HIM, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE THAT WAS NOT COOK

* OH NO HE CALLED HIM ‘MY MEW’ PLEASE JUST STOP RAY MY BABY

* I wish he’d just said what Top and Boston did instead of dragging it all out

* Oh

* Oh no

* He did not just call Sand that

* Oh fuck no

* The panicked breathing. First is too good at acting.

* April is so damn pretty

* Nick my poor baby

* Oh Mew, you romantic little shit

* OMG TOP THAT WAS THE SLUTTIEST “oof” I’ve ever heard as someone hit the mattress

* OMG Mew’s a wee rough one isn’t he? The way he’s pinning Top down is *chef’s kiss*

* OH MY GOD MEW YOU SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARD MY FUCKING GOD I AM SCREAMING CRYING AND THROWING THIS IS FUCKING METAL MY DUDE GO YOU FUCKING KING I CANNOT BREATHE RIGHT NOW

* Ray did tell him, and Mew still defended Too in front of everybody. No wonder Ray was so broken. Oh gosh.

* My guys, this must have been a difficult scene for Force and Book. You can literally see how uncomfortable Force is, like I know it’s acting but I don’t think any other co star could get THAT look out of him. And Book is blowing my mind with this acting - like that was the sexiest call out I’ve ever seen, and for him to be so tough when talking to Top…and Top seems genuinely intimidated. This is insane acting and I can’t cope.

* Mew blaming himself. That’s hurts. The way he said to just teach him what he wants, basically saying he’d do anything for him…oh, Mew.

* Also, anyone that thinks Top doesn’t actually love Mew needs glasses of their own, okay?

* AND NEXT WEEK IS GOING TO BE BROKEN ARM AND BOSTON GETTING KICKED INTO THE WATER AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT IM GOING TO BE ON HOLIDAY SO ILL BE LATE WATCHING

* Also, the fact that Sand refuses to give up on Ray despite what Ray did and said to him. I just fucking can’t with those two.

* Wait - Mew’s eyes looked a bit weird there, we’re his pupils super large?

[idlyfretting]

Snippet of something I've been working on:

Steve tried to ignore the empty cushion next to him, staring determinedly at the TV across the room. He’d popped in a VHS without looking at the case, before settling down with his reheated leftovers. It was some subpar action movie, one that he pretended to like more than he actually did just to annoy Robin. 

The absence of her running commentary somehow made the movie worse. 

He hadn’t seen Robin in two weeks. It was the longest they’d gone without talking to each other since Starcourt.

Steve picked at the fried rice in his lap, moving it around more than actually eating it. It was the last bit of food in the fridge. He needed to stop on his way home tomorrow and stock up. He should have done it last week, but he hadn’t really felt like doing anything last week.

He missed her.

God, this is worse than a break up. He would have laughed at himself if he wasn’t so fucking sad. 

It was like Robin had taken half his soul with him when she’d stormed out of their apartment two Saturdays ago. Like she’d packed her duffle, snagged her jacket off the counter, and ripped his arms off on her way out the door. He didn’t feel like a whole person anymore.

One of their coworkers at the coffee shop had called them ‘unhealthily codependent’ once. Steve thought he understood what they’d meant now. 

He wanted Robin back. He’d do anything to get her to walk back through that door, call him an asshole, and stomp into her room. He’d take the silent treatment over her just being gone. Hell, he’d take five more screaming matches and hurt feelings, and words neither of them mean to say but can never take back, over this emptiness. 

The worst thing is he knows where she is. He knows the number he could call. He could beg for forgiveness, say he was sorry a million times, tell her he’d never say anything about who she wants to date ever again. 

He could say he was lying when he’d shouted that it wasn’t jealousy, even though that would be a lie itself. He could say that he didn’t know anything about healthy relationships, he had no place to judge. 

He could call. But he also couldn’t. Because Robin probably didn’t want him to, wanted him to keep his apologies to himself. She probably wanted him to fuck off and never talk to her again. She hadn’t called him after all. And after a conversation with one of her friends at NYU, he realized she hadn’t called anyone except her professors, telling them she had to leave town for a bit and asking for extensions or forwarded schoolwork. Dana had asked if Steve knew what had happened.

“I’m trying not to be worried, but this just isn’t like her.”

“She’ll be back. She wouldn’t just drop out in the middle of the semester.” Steve had told himself that repeatedly, trying to soothe his own worry.

“I know, I know. You’re right. But it still doesn’t make any sense. Did anything happen? Nothing seemed wrong in any of the classes we share, so maybe it was a personal thing–” She interrupted herself with a gasp. “Oh my god. Was it a girl? I know she was talking to that one from Boston, got all flustered whenever she brought her up. Do you think it had anything to do with that?”

Steve hadn’t known how to answer that. What was he supposed to say?

Yeah, it was about that girl from Boston. But not really, I guess. It was more to do with how Robin had somehow fallen ass over teakettle in love with my ex, who had been visiting New York with her girlfriend for a few days and then kept coming back alone every weekend after that to hang out with Robin. 

And then Robin came home one morning after staying out all night with her, and said they’d kissed and then fucked and then decided they wanted to start dating each other. 

And instead of being happy for her, I opened my big mouth and said “Fuck, not again.”

[kay9leo]

At First Glance... Part VII

Chapter 6 <<< ||| Chapter 7 ||| >>> Chapter 8

...On Hippogriffs

It was by chance he recognized the exact location of the final piece of the triptych.

During their pause on their friendship, Sebastian found that the third best thing to clear his head aside from talking to MC or to Ominis and dueling was to take his broom and fly off.

While Imelda might focus more on breaking her latest speeding record and MC would focus on whatever misadventure she could get herself into (that girl don’t know the meaning of taking it easy), Sebastian couldn’t care less about either thing. The thing that he cared about was feeling the wind against his hair and the cool breeze against his face.

It was almost meditative.

He could always count on mindlessly flying to keep his mind off of things…such as his wayward friendwho decided that apparently getting in trouble with Garreth in potions was more fun than hanging out with him.

Yet, somehow when he spotted MC leaving the dungeons with Weasley after a Saturday’s morning detention of scrubbing caldrons clean and prepping materials for the next potion’s class –all done by hand mind you– with a fat smile before laughing at something Weasley said, Sebastian found that he couldn’t even be in the same building as the two.

So, he took off on his broom and started flying.

Usually when things bothered him, the first person he would go to was to MC to figure out how to resolve it. Then it would be Ominis –if it was something he didn’t want MC to worry about, like his thoughts on her.

Sebastian didn’t dare to bother Anne. Not with this.

And if he was being honest to himself, not since she was cursed.

Before (because there was always a before when things were better), Anne was always his go-to person. The person who knew how to handle things with a mischievous plan that would work nearly 75% of the time. His twin knew him better than anyone else…

…Until she got cursed.

Then it was as if a new person replaced her.

A more docile, behaved worried girl instead of his headstrong, playful, cheeky sister.

Telling his problems to Anne would only make things worse. She didn’t need to worry her pretty, mischievous head over him. It wasn’t the first time he kept her in the dark over something like this.

Lying to her however, made his stomach feel like it was filled with lead as he told her another made-up story over what the three of them were doing.

Anne SHOULDN’T feel the need to worry about her healthy twin brother when she was the one who was cursed. Who consistently needed bedrest. Who got weaker each time he saw her. He couldn’t bear to place weight on her weaken shoulders about his problems when half the battle of fighting a curse was having an optimistic attitude towards it.

If his sister couldn’t muster the strength to be optimistic about a cure, when their Uncle kept saying that it was pointless, that curing her was a lost cause, then he’ll be the one to do it.

He’ll be strongly optimistic for the both of them!

And if lying to her about his non-hiatuses friendship with MC would make her feel better, why should he tell her the truth if it will only make her feel worse?

Anne was over the moon to see that he made a new friend.

That it wasn’t just him and Ominis and an abandoned Undercroft.

Or that he wasn’t wasting his youth away trying to find an unknown cure.

Anne was happy that for once he was actually sneaking out to go on adventures, spending time at Hogsmeade, drinking butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, dueling for fun, talking at dinner, playing with beasts, traveling over the Highlands, pranking the prefects, playing cards, exploding snaps, Jacks, gobstones, manhunt, quidditch, soccer, quodpot, chicke–

Basically, anything that involved Sebastain acting like the adolescent he was instead of behaving like he was some old, grayed hair wrinkly olive-spotted researcher–healer with his nose buried in a book. Anne had countlessly teased him that he was becoming an old fart out in Hogwarts quicker than she was in her bed at Feldcroft.

Then all her teasing stopped when he met MC.

He sent letter after letter about their daily activities and mishaps they got into…minus a few parts…

…Such as fighting goblins…

…Or MC’s ancient magic that attracted trouble like moonlight to mooncalves…

…speaking of which, did MC remember to feed her mooncalves with that new feed they created in Beasts class?

He huffed and rolled his eyes.

She probably has Weasley helping her this time. The two seem pretty chummy for potions partner–

His train of thought stopped when he spotted two hippogriffs above him, front talons locked between them, tumbling and cartwheeling down.

A Death Spiral. Sebastian thought to himself with bated breath. They’re completing their courtship ritual.

“The reason why hippogriffs feathers are often used as part of an exchange in marriage ceremonies in some cultures is due to their symbol of love and companionship. According to records, hippogriffs are born of an unlikely union of male griffin and a mare. As you can recall, it isn’t uncommon for a griffin to prey on horse, but even love can tame the wildest.”

Sebastian recalled the words Prof. Howin lectured during class as he watched the pair fall in front of him on his broom.

“This extraordinary joining of two species that are typically seen as adversaries embodies the concept of love overcoming barriers and defying expectations. And their connection to love symbolizes the transformative and often unpredictable nature of romantic relationships, highlighting the profound impact that love can have on overcoming obstacles together. They are portrayed as a faithful and devoted companions who can form meaningful bonds with those who approach it with respect and humility.”

The two hippogriffs held tight, neither letting go, zooming down on a crash course to earth, each trusting the other on when to let go.

“When it comes to the end of their courtship ritual, they will perform a death spiral, similar to eagles, in which they lock talons and spiral downwards. It is a test to determine each other’s fitness and trustworthiness of a potential mate.” Prof. Howin stated.

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Isn’t there a risk that they might die?”

Some of his classmates asked.

“It is. It isn’t surprising to see a few juveniles dead either from a failed courtship.” Prof. Howin said as she petted one. The white hippogriff keened with each stroke Prof. Howin gave on her head. “Remember class, don’t let their size fool you. The female hippogriffs like this one here are larger than their male counterparts. They are just like birds in that aspect. Now look at their wings here. The primary feathers of their wings are used for the exchange before the rings during the marriage ritual. It symbolizes–

“Then why risk it?” Sebastian thought out loud.

Professor Howin glanced at him.

“I apologize for my outburst, but why? Why would you risk your life for a potential mate like that when it can also lead you to death?” Sebastian had a strong sense of self-preservation, especially since Anne was cursed a few weeks ago.

Professor Howin shock her head with a smile.

“Ahh, spoken like someone whose never been in love before. Do you want to know what’s the prize they get if they survive Mr. Sallow?”

Sebastian nodded.

Just when it looked like they were too cocky, too prideful for either to yield first, they both let go, flying parallel to each other a few feet above ground. They then landed nearby the edge of the forest before they started preening each other, like a couple of lovebirds.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“The prize that is won from a successful death spiral is a mate for life. A partner you can always rely on Mr. Sallow. Surely as someone who’s a fine duelist like yourself would know what a difference it makes to have a partner to watch your back during paired fights. And now, imagine having a fine partner like that to help carry your burdens. A partner who you could also share your good times with as well.” Professor Howin stated with a smile.

Sebastian couldn’t.

Sebastian stood seated, hovering far above the newly mated pair of Hippogriffs, watching them as they nuzzled each other before flying off. That’s when he recognized a familiar landscape in the direction that they flew towards.

Looks like we might not have to fight that much to the next triptych piece. Not with that Floo spot available nearby. Sebastian smirked before he felt an ache in his heart. The corners of his lips fell.

It doesn’t matter. I bet Weasley’s keeping her happily entertain to even remember about me. He snorted before he flew back to the castle.

That evening, he wrote Anne another letter about his encounter with the paired hippogriff’s death spiral. He described the awe that appeared in MC’s eyes as the hippogriff separated in time before nuzzling each other like lovebirds back in the ground before she shared a fun fact about how the females ‘griffs tended to be bigger than the male ones before he joked that big thing comes in small packages with a wink.

Not that his own package was small mind you…at least from what he figured…

…So, what if his own package was smaller than the British average of 5.17 inches? He still had good 5.05 inches on him.

Either way, at least that joke will for certain make Anne roll her eyes before writing something about him being a scoundrel and to stop treating MC as if she was one of the boys.

Then Sebastain would roll his eyes and reply that he is aware that MC is a girl thank you very much. Why else would he be bothered by the fact that the other boys in their year were being a bit too friendly with her? What guy would wear a citrus orange perfume? Or even make crown flowers?

For all the tomfoolery, tomboyish attitude and trousers that MC would wear, Sebastian was deeply aware that at the end of the day, MC is a girl.

A girl who had no idea how much her absence in their friendship had hurt him.

Either way, that crude joke should be enough to distract Anne from looking too deep into the details of why he hasn’t written much about MC recently.

Anne was happy to see that Sebastian living his life for once.

He wasn’t going to break that illusion.

Sebastian just wished he could’ve lived that lie he written with MC.

So, after mailing the insincere letter to his twin and seeing MC and Weasley still being buddy-buddy after their shared morning detention with the addition of Natty at dinner, Sebastian went to the Undercroft to review the second triptych painting.

The landmarks he saw earlier matched to what he seen in the last canvas piece they found. Looking at it gave him the same feeling just like it did the first time when he recognized the landmarks seen in the first and only canvas piece.

It was excitement, determination and hope.

It was an adventure waiting. A piece to understanding MC's ancient magic. A great mystery the two were going to solve…

…a mystery he ended up shelfing when he realized that that meant he would need to talk to MC. That he would need to yield.

But that was yesterday.

Before he dreamt of his mother.

Before he mailed out the apologize letter with an offer to help find the last triptych piece this Sunday morning.

Even if they disagreed about certain things like her goblin friend, he would always have her back. It didn’t matter the length of the pause of their friendship or that glare MC threw at him that spelt murder when she finally arrived at the stated location to meet him.

Sebastian will always have her back.

Just like she had his in every single duel, challenge or fight of their lives as together, they razed down goblins, Ashwinders and poachers who thought they could destroy the world without any consequences.

Like they did with his.

Nothing could defeat them.

Not when they can relay on each other like a mated pair of hippogriffs.

…

But it seems as if that small pause, that little hiatus in their friendship was enough for them to change while apart from each other.

...

Chapter 6 <<< ||| Chapter 7 ||| >>> Chapter 8

[soshadysoquiet]

This post has some fantastic discourse in the re blogs and I want to focus on an entirely different aspect because OPs words jumped (ha) out at me:

“I don't like how they keep trying to make Five a badass.”

This is so funny because emotions and character motivation aside the show gets this wrong so fundamentally too!

S1 and S2 Fives actions were baddass: he was whip quick in a fight, actions spoke louder than anything to show his badassery because he took quick and often bloody control of the situation (whether right or wrong) all the while being a paranoid (S1) and panicked (S2) gremlin.

S3 I forgive a bit for the lack-lustre chaos Five shows because dude comes across as exhausted and basically ready to give up but just can’t quite turn off that brain of his. His paranoia and gremlin ways spring back up in the final couple of eps. I do think it’s a true shame we didn’t get him being badass in a fight scene- which really goes a lot of the way to make his character Feel like Five, and I think you can do it whilst keeping character growth and good conflict

In S4 things changed and maybe it’s because I’m not American but I feel like the show writers thought that the CIA is badass but… to me it’s not? It’s a beurocratic hellscape surely to Five given his hatred of the Commission (at least this version of Five) and felt way too political / G Man vibes to put into TUA to me personally but also just… isn’t badass?

We got no fight scenes from Five, which were always a joy, and instead got him leading the way gun first everywhere and not wanting his powers back and, it’s odd, because Five in the show Has been shown to want to take the intellectual approach out of a situation rather than fight. He’s frequently shown blinking away to avoid danger. To me his CIA thing made sense for the investigator angle but otherwise looked like someone had squished, remoulded and then half re made Five, but if you’re gonna do that, could we make it More?:

He’s wary of taking the lead in fights now, he has no escape route, and he knows how badly fights can go.

He leads the way over his siblings, because of course he does, but he’s anxious AF about it, maybe he’s the one talking them out of doing Anythign dangerous - it’s not like he can save them, that could be a real stressor for him

Hes poorly adapted his way into life and as others have suggested joined The Keepers, or something else unhealthy, he might feel it IS healthy, but is just lying to himself, which would be interesting to see with his ego

Hes ‘adapted’ but has actually retired and gone a bit bananas and has to be coaxed back in to help out with a plethora of drinking issues and keeps struggling to be the person his siblings want to rely on because it’s all caught up with him

he’s in academia and has better adjusted and decided to do something with the life he’s never had

Personally to me the CIA move felt like something that was Supposed to look cool but, the character was already cool? You, in fact, nullified the character with conformist choices. The same of course can be said for the romance he had this season in that A) was it needed and B) why was it a cookie cutter romance when the dudes only romantic relationship (that we know of) was with a mannequin? He got too normalised in S4 to me, a real shame.

no hate for those who liked, just my feels

Last one about TUA season 4, for now.

(I talked about this in the tags of one of my RBs before but I wanted to elaborate)

I don't like how they keep trying to make Five a badass.

I find it especially frustrating as doing this constantly, bogs down any form of character development we could've had from Five.

For whatever reason, the writers seem to be allergic to acknowledging Five's biggest character flaw, his arrogance. Five always has to be right. He always has to be capable of everything and never needs any help. Despite the fact that Diego also has a very similar flaw (and is punished for it consistently), Five's seems to go completely untouched.

(A part of me thinks that the reason why they punish Diego so much more is because he comes off as the hot-headed impulsive one. While that's true, it certainly doesn't negate Five's ability to make mistakes or be incompetent)

Instead, they keep trying to invent a new flaw for Five in that; he is obsessed with the apocalypse. In reality, he's not obsessed with the apocalypse. He's obsessed with keeping his family safe. It just so happens that their most immediate threat (in his eyes) tends to be the apocalypse. (I really don't understand what they're trying to get at with this, especially considering the fact that he already has an extremely apparent flaw)

While this isn't an issue I take with season 4 specifically, it has definitely amplified this issue like crazy. Five's arrogance is vaguely addressed by his siblings in season 1, but it never seems to get him in trouble? Or at least he doesn't seem to have learned from it (except for the time-travelling thing from when he was 13, and when he bled out also in season 1)

Season 1 (and 2) handled it the best out of the four. Five never seems to ask for or accept help unless backed into a corner (telling Viktor about the apocalypse, asking Klaus to help him get the prosthetic eye). Or if he is literally incoherent or unconscious (him passing out from blood loss, him being drunk and telling Diego and Luther about what's happening).

And outside of that, Five's arrogance still had brutal consequences within this season (him not noticing Viktor's declining mental state because he was so sure about the apocalypse (but this was partially because this man tunnel-visions like crazy)).

(there are probably more instances of this with s1 & 2, i just can't think of them off the top of my head so tag them if you'd like)

Season 4 is extra mean with this. From the 'Five getting to work for the CIA at 19' to 'Five randomly figuring out what's causing the end of the world with a bunch of other Five's' while he was off moping.

And when he does make mistakes, it's not because he's actually not capable of everything and anything.

Noooo, Ben really really sneakily stole the marigold and spiked the sake. Five couldn't have possibly noticed. (and none of the other siblings for that matter)

Noooo, it's because Luther is actually super smart in figuring out that Five's boss is a Keeper (no shade to Luther btw, I like him. They just don't treat this moment as Five being a complete dumbass).

Oh no! Five (and Lila) can't figure out a way back from the metro! Never mind, another Five managed it.

Five being a homewrecker? That's him being an asshole, not incompetent so it doesn't count (lighthearted).

Five's arrogance one of his defining flaws, yet it's not really challenged. The fact that he gets away with a lot of bullshit is simply because he can! When he doesn't face failure, he doesn't find growth. He doesn't learn to stop being self-destructive just because he thinks he can do anything. He doesn't learn to reach out.

This stunt in growth is obviously not only present in Five but also everyone else. I just find his to be particularly grating since he's my favorite.

Feel free to add your thoughts to this, not just about Five's fucked up character growth but everyone else's too!

(I'll make long a ass post/video essay going into detail about all of them one of these days)

I'd love to read them :)

[phantomrose96]

Buds After the Frost

This was supposed to be a short warm-up writing exercise yesterday and then it got... longer. Enjoy!!

...

The doors opened for Maddie Fenton with a pneumatic hiss. Pressurized nitrogen released, splitting open the vacuum seal on the door as its twin halves slid apart, slotting into the wall-mounted sleeves. The nitrogen misted out, cold and dry, air currents catching in swirls around Maddie Fenton’s lab coat. Her feet thocked against hollow metal, amplified by the coldness and the vastness of the containment room beyond.

She paused short of the specimen’s cell, mindful attention drawn to the panel of controls nested rightmost against the wall. The monitor read out stats, tracked metrics of the specimen’s heartrate and blood oxygenation and blood pressure. Dials beneath the screens offered her means of interaction, manipulating the cage’s environment without needing to tamper with it by hand. She ignored these, as she had been ignoring them the entire time, and paid mind only to the single switch which would seal shut the doors behind her.

She pressed it. Another pneumatic hiss followed, locking out the world behind her. Her breath curled, cold. She and the specimen were alone.

“No coffee this morning?” he asked.

Maddie sat down at the control panel, elbow leaning against the dashboard for support. She turned to the cage. “No. One of the interns broke the pot last night. New one should be delivered today.”

Phantom let out a huff of air. “You mean in this whole gigantic mega-hyper-futuristic government lab, there’s nothing that can stand in as a coffee pot?”

“I wouldn’t stay employed long if I tried using equipment to brew coffee.”

“Use one of the big ectoplasm beakers. Ectoplasm washes out with soap and water. Just suds it up and throw it in the coffee maker. I’m an expert about these things.”

“It’s more about protocol.”

Phantom waved her off. “’Protocol.’ Bureaucracy is standing between you and a delicious cup of ectoplasmic coffee, Dr. Fenton.”

Maddie looked forward now, taking him in. He’d hovered to the front of the cell, translucent reinforced glass separating him from the rest of the lab. Green eyes shined above a cheeky smile, a dusting of loose white hairs falling over his eyes, the rest of his bangs swept slightly to the side. His tailed flickered, his aura pulsed, his vital readings blipped out steady, normal, healthy.

“Phantom?”

“Yeah?”

Maddie paused.

“Why are you still here?”

The ghost boy let out a small guffaw. He motioned his arms around him, hands waving. “I dunno. Maybe the big ghost-proof box I’m in has something to do with it?”

“The shield is down, Phantom,” Maddie answered quietly. She set her eyes to Phantom, investigating. “…I put it down last night. It’s down now. You knew this.”

Phantom took just a moment too long to react, eyebrows arching up. “Oh, huh! Nope I didn’t notice. I mean it’s not like I’m constantly throwing myself at the barrier to electrocute myself so no I just didn’t try getting past it last night so I didn’t notice.”

“Phantom,” Maddie said again, voice measured, words stern. “You saw me crank down the dial that controls the shield.”

“Well I don’t know what all those buttons and dials do.”

“Yes you do. You’ve been observing me since day 1. You knew.”

Phantom kicked back in the air, floating a fraction back and higher. “Well maybe I thought it was a trap, I dunno. Or maybe I just like to get in your head, you know? What unpredictable thing will Phantom do next! Gotta write another 200 equations about ghost theory to figure that one out, Dr. Fenton.”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you not want to leave?”

“Oh I wanna leave.”

“Then why aren’t you?”

“We’re having a conversation. That’d be rude.”

“Will you leave as soon as I exit the room?”

“Who knows?”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

Maddie stood. She left her chair and the control panel behind. She walked up to the specimen cage instead. It was cubic, a skeleton of metal bar ribbings with a metal mesh that plastered the glass sides like a membrane. The top anchored to the ceiling, the bottom—raised by about a foot—anchored to a pedestal on the floor. Maddie stared through the mesh into Phantom’s eyes.

“Is there anyone who realizes you’re missing?” she asked.

Phantom chewed on the question. “Nah. Well um, trick question, actually. Probably not. Assuming I do this right, then no one has even realized I’m gone.”

“Do what ‘right’?”

“You know that thing about Clockwork I explained?”

“You said he’s the ghost that controls time and reality.”

“Yeah. SUPER powerful.”

“And you said you …were from one of those other realities.”

Phantom nodded. “Maybe I touched some things in Clockwork’s lair I wasn’t actually allowed to touch. Jury’s still out on whether I’m in trouble for that or not. I’ve been a little too ‘stuck in this reality’ to know if Clockwork is pissed. But yeah, I got um, bopped into your reality instead of mine. So technically my reality is lacking me right now, and yeah there’s people there who’d know I’m missing.”

Phantom flipped upside-down, as though laying on his back. He rested his palms beneath his head, elbows out, suspended in an invisible hammock, head tilted far back so that he still stared at Maddie. “Especially since it’s been, what, a month that I’ve been gone?”

“2 weeks.”

“What? No way. I’ve been here absolutely forever it has to have been at least a month.”

“This is day 14 of your observation, Phantom.”

Phantom blew a strand of hair out of his face. “Anyway. Two weeks is still long enough to have a search party out on my butt. But whether or not that’s happened is up to – it’s kind of a Schrodinger thing. Because here’s my strategy. Assuming Clockwork hasn’t banned me from reality-hopping forever, I can just get him to send me back to my own reality at the precise moment in time I vanished. And then bam, no one ever knows I was gone. And it makes no difference whether I do that today, or next week, or next month. So assuming you eventually let me go, then I’m all set there.”

“You say that almost like you don’t care when it happens.”

“I dunno, more like I’m just not losing sleep over it. It’s not like I have a say in the matter. You do. I don’t.”

“Is the time you spend here just meaningless, to you?”

“I wouldn’t say meaningless. I’m still aging goddammit.”

“You’re a ghost.”

“I’m complex.” Phantom flipped right-side-up again. “If I start growing facial hair, send me back. I’m gonna have some awkward questions to answer if I show up again with a ghost beard suddenly.”

“…And what if I never send you back?” Maddie asked, careful with her words. “How does your plan work if you stay here forever? If I destroy you first?”

“Um. …It doesn’t, I guess.” Phantom set a hand to his chin, thinking. “Yeah um, please don’t do that. I don’t wanna worry my whole family like that.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“What part?”

“That you have a family.”

“I mean. I think that came up in Interrogation Session #3. Consult your notes.”

“I just have a hard time believing you.”

“Because I’m a ghost?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a complex ghost.”

“I know. You keep saying that.”

“It’s true.”

Silence filtered in between them.

“…What is your family like, Phantom?”

Phantom stiffened a fraction, his eyes finding Maddie’s and shifting away. “Oh, you know, family.”

“Do they exist here too?”

“Huh?”

“You’re from another reality, at least you’re claiming you are.”

“I gotta be. The me from this reality died 6 months ago, didn’t he?”

“The you from most realities is dead, Phantom. You’re a ghost.”

“A complex ghost.”

“The you from this reality was destroyed 6 months ago.”

“Which you validated with your own sciencey equipment, right? You said so! So you know I’m not lying. Unless you think I recombobulated myself from being a protoplasmic smear on the sidewalk.” Phantom caught himself, registering the flinch in Maddie’s body. He deflated a bit, eyes averted. “S-sorry. Inconsiderate phrasing.”

“Why?” Maddie asked, tone flat, blunt.

Phantom’s eyes shifted back. “Um. Just. You know. That accident was. There were um, you know—”

“Human causalities.”

Phantom squirmed. “We don’t have to talk about that, you know? No one wants to talk about that. Okay as a ghost I guess ‘talking about how I died’ is sort of a bit more normal, but this is weird yeah, ‘talking about how an alternate-me died permanently’? That’s morbid. No one wants to talk about that.”

“Okay then. You can go back to answering my previous question.”

“Um. I forget.”

“Does your family exist in this reality?”

“Um, well who really knows, you know? I had like a grand total of 20 minutes of freedom in this reality before you captured me, so, don’t ask me like I’m any kind of expert about your reality. What’s it matter?”

“I want to know if there’s anyone in this reality who’s mourning you.”

Phantom’s face schismed with surprise. His front dropped, and the first look of genuine emotion sank into his glowing eyes. “Woah… That’s um, weirdly nice, of you, I guess. Why do you… want to know?”

Maddie said nothing.

“I. Um. I think the answer is no? So don’t um. Worry about that. If you were worried? Which is weird. I’m the enemy, aren’t I? Evil spooky ghost to be studied?”

“I’m not so sure what you are…” Maddie answered. “I heard you got destroyed trying to save them.”

“The um… the human casualties?”

“Yes.”

“I said we don’t have to talk about that.”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Do you know who they were?”

“The… casualties?”

“Yes.”

“Come on we’re on a different topic now.”

“Do you know who they were?”

“I don’t—how’m I supposed to know? I don’t know how I died here, you know? You think I’ve got some kind of like… parallel-universe death vision?”

“So you don’t know?”

“N-no.”

“I have a different question, then.”

“Okay, good, because I haven’t been liking these previous ones.”

“Are you staying just to keep me company?”

Phantom faltered. He looked left, then right, hand scratching at his chin. “I’m staying because I’m in a ghost-proof box.”

“It’s not ghost-proof anymore. The shields are down.”

“I feel like you’re circling around some accusation I’m not smart enough to follow. This feels like entrapment.”

“Then I’ll be more direct.”

“Oh no there is an accusation.”

“I think you do know how you were destroyed in this universe, Phantom.” Maddie took a step forward, and she let her left hand touch the glass, eyes focused on her fingers. “I think you know what happened at the Nasty Burger.”

“That’s—um—the human food… consumption… location… that the local human adolescents meet at, yes?”

Maddie looked up, and she locked Phantom with her stare. He squirmed, and he relented.

“I um…” he continued. “I—yeah—yeah, okay? I know about the Nasty Burger accident. It was supposed to happen to me too in my reality but I—Clockwork—stopped it from happening in my reality.” Phantom glanced left, right, as if staring beyond the confines of his cage. “When I first got knocked into this reality, I went to go find the Fenton portal so I could try to refind Clockwork and fix this and… Well it wasn’t there. And I tried to find some people I know and… I checked out the library in case the Fentons just lived somewhere else and. I um. I found the articles.” His eyes focused on hers again. “They all say you were the only survivor, yeah…?”

“I was sick, that day. It was just a cold. My husband Jack went without me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It took my daughter and my son too.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“And it destroyed you.”

Phantom opened his mouth, but no words followed.

Maddie looked up.

“You knew this. You’ve known this ever since I captured you.” Maddie let her hand slide away from the glass. “Did you let me capture you?”

“Why would I let you capture me?”

“Because you feel sorry for me.”

Phantom’s eyes flickered about, unwilling to meet hers. “…Nah. Nah. I don’t—come on ‘sorry’? I’m a ghost you know? Bane of humanity! We’re enemies. You were just too skilled a hunter and you captured me.”

“And yet you won’t leave.”

Phantom lapsed silent.

“I um… I wasn’t happy to read about—to know the, the thing at the Nasty Burger happened here, okay? That’s something that I kinda didn’t want to believe existed in any reality anymore, but I guess… And if you were still alive. I was… maybe just kind of happy to see you? That you were okay. And still hunting. That was kind of, like a small relief.” Phantom glanced away, back again. “I wasn’t evil, you know. In my reality or this one. I care about what happened to the Fentons…”

“You let me capture you. …And you did it because you thought it would be a nice thing for you to do for me.”

“I Just—I thought maybe, um… I mean when you phrase it like that. I mean what else could cheer up renowned ghost hunter Maddie Fenton quite like a ghost subject to study? Me, especially? The ghost boy or public enemy #1 or whatever. I’m fun, aren’t I?”

Silently, Maddie pushed away from Phantom’s cage. She moved to the control panel, stiff movements and numb fingers. She entered the release code into the console, and unslung the key from her neck to twist into the override, and she threw down each successive lever in the row of four lining the top of the mechanisms.

The scrape of glass sliding away sounded behind her. All four walls of Phantom’s enclosure dropped away, metal mesh sliding away piece-meal. Phantom stared at her, blinking, floating in place.

“You’re free to go, Phantom.”

“I—uh—well hang on, I don’t think the Guys In White would be too happy about that. You can’t just let me—”

“Go, Phantom.”

“They could like, fire you.”

“I don’t care about this job.”

“I—come on, you still wanna study me, don’t you? Chat with me? If you feel bad maybe just get me a couch and some video games for my cage then I’ll be—”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Go home to your family.”

The half-hearted smile dropped from Phantom’s face.

“Come on. You can’t just evict me on such short notice. I’m not ready for Clockwork to kick my ass so soon.”

“Go home.”

“I’m not in any rush! I like talking to you. Don’t you—don’t you like talking to me too? In like a scientific way?”

Maddie lowered herself into the chair by the control panel. She leaned forward, arms pooled in her lap, eyes to the floor. “You have a family to get back to, Phantom.”

“It’s—there’s time travel shenanigans! Like I said they don’t even know I’m gone.”

“Every single day, Phantom,” Maddie looked up, eyes stern, “…I wish every single day that my own family would just come back home. I won’t do the same to you. I won’t do the same to your family.”

Phantom said nothing. A somber acceptance sunk into his eyes.

“They’re… alive, you know. In my dimension.”

Maddie dropped her head, and she blinked away the wetness in her eyes.

“I actually… in my dimension I’m kind of closer to the Fentons than I think the, the Phantom in this dimension was. It’s… complex.”

Maddie said nothing. Silence built between them.

“Jazz is um… Jazz is applying for colleges, y-you know. She got in early-acceptance to Yale but um, we all—they all—visited Columbia last month and I think that’s what she wants the most. I can see Jazz in New York City. I think she’d rock it.”

Maddie blinked again. Tears plicked into her lap.

“…Should I stop?”

“Jack… Tell me about Jack.”

“Oh. Yeah he um… big and goofy as ever. He’s got some kind of eight-armed-octogun he’s working on. I know because I was his target practice, involuntarily by the way. He keeps trying to merge “Fenton” and “octopus” together with mixed results. We—Mo-addie—you… are still trying to talk him out of ‘Fentoctopus’.”

Maddie’s ribcage shuddered, a repressed sob, a repressed laugh.

“And Danny?”

“Danny… um… Danny is...” Phantom’s shoulders fell a little bit. He looked away, and then back at Maddie. “He loves you. I know that.”

Maddie blinked, and blinked again, and her eyes wouldn’t clear.

“And are they happy?”

“They’re happy.”

“Am I happy…?”

“You’re…” Phantom’s tail bounced. “You’re happy, I think. I like to think so. I think you’re very happy. You have a great family.”

Maddie nodded.

“Now go.”

“But I still—”

Maddie reached forward, and she grabbed the ecto-gun propped against the control panel. She lifted it into her shoulder, and flicked the safety, and the charge built along the rising whine.

“Go.”

Phantom balked. He blinked. He kicked away from his wall-less cage. “Not forever. I’ll be back. You won’t be alone here forever.”

He was gone.

And Maddie was alone again.

…

Clockwork surveyed the boy in front of him whose head was bowed nearly to the floor, white bangs trailing along cobblestone, hands clasped, apologies repeated, begging case made.

Clockwork ran a hand along his beard, which unfurled, drew back, undid itself with the shifting of his form to a simple child.

“So let’s see. You have the audacity to break my rules andbeg me to meddle on your behalf in the time stream, all in the same breath? Apologies don’t usually come with additional requests for favors.”

“I know,” Danny’s head dipped lower. “You can punish me however you want for touching the restricted timelines but you have to help it, or let me help this one timeline. Please, please just send me back to the Nasty Burger incident so I can save it.”

“It’s already been saved.”

Danny faltered. He looked up.

“You died at the Nasty Burger incident that night,” Clockwork elaborated, form shifting older. “There is no you to ruin that future. That timeline is safe. It’s a very lucky timeline.”

Danny blinked. “N-no. No that’s not what I mean. Save it like you saved my timeline.”

“That did happen. You’re describing your own timeline.”

“I mean do it to THAT one.”

“You are misunderstanding timelines.”

Danny lapsed silent. Worry bled into his eyes, and Clockwork sighed.

“There is no undoing timelines, Danny. There is only forking them by meddling in the stream. All futures and pasts you witness exist, and do exist, and continue to exist,” Clockwork paused, “with the exception of realities I needed to cull, to prevent utter catastrophe.” His gaze fixed on Danny. “The futures that your evil self destroyed, I did have to cull. And culling a reality is not to be done lightly.”

Clockwork motioned with his staff. “There were a handful of surviving realities that I was able to save. That room you meddled in without my permission—they contain the realities off the main track where, for one reason or another, something else succeeded at destroying your future self. …Your own deaths, in fact. In every one of those realities, Danny, you are dead.”

“I don’t…” Danny shook his head. “So then just tell me how to save that one I was in, okay?”

“Oh, that’s easy.”

“How?”

“You don’t.”

Danny said nothing. Clockwork shifted young.

“You can let it live on in that room, or you could ask me to cull it, Danny. You could ask me to cull every reality in that room, so that the main branch, the one you’re from, is the only reality in existence. So you never have to worry about any existence where your family is unhappy. And it will be that way until you, or I, or someone else, meddles with the timestreams again, and more splits occur.”

Still, Danny said nothing. Clockwork continued.

“Sometimes, a mass culling of realities is healthy for the tree of time, like pruning a plant down to its stalk to survive an unforgiving winter, or a terrible disease. But I did that, just recently, to save all of time from the blight of your future self. It would feel cruel to snip off the first buds that have come after the frost.”

Danny lowered himself to the floor.

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Just. I have a different question then.” He looked up, a young devastation wet in his eyes. “Can I still go back and visit that reality, sometimes?”

“No. I cannot give you permission to do that.”

“Please!”

Clockwork spun his staff. A portal swirled into being in the space between him and Danny. Washes of color formed patterns, shapes, objects, images. Like a mirror, it reflected Clockwork’s lair beyond its shimmering surface.

“This is a portal back into your own reality. It is set to the location and the time that you vanished. Go there, and leave through the Fenton portal, and nothing will be amiss.”

“No. No no I won’t. Clockwork you have to let me—”

“I am doing you a favor, Danny, getting you home after you caused more trouble. Do not make further demands of me.” Clockwork curled forward, old, sallow skin sagging, and he turned his back to Danny.

“You have to give me permission—”

“I am the only one who has permission to meddle in realities, Danny. This is an absolute.” Clockwork glanced over his shoulder. “And because this is an absolute, I have no reason to have a lock on the room housing those budding other realities.”

Danny blinked.

“I wonder if anyone might break my rules anyway. I wonder if anyone might be nosy, and enter that room anyway, and water the plants in that greenhouse without my permission.” Clockwork stared forward again.

“Clockwork…”

“Luckily I am the master of all time. I would be able to see this coming. And maybe plan for it. If ever such a person would come into my lair, and meddle in my timelines, and try to spread a bit of his own kindness to the realities he couldn’t quite save, I would be fully prepared to stop him.” Clockwork spoke into the green abyss beyond him. “Unless, maybe, I were to accidentally have my back turned.”

Silence trailed after Clockwork’s words. He kept his back to Danny, staring into the abyss of swirling green ether beyond.

“…Thank you,” Danny answered, quietly. “I’ll be back.”

“I imagine you will. Those realities may get lonely without you.”

When Clockwork glanced back over his shoulder, both Danny and the portal were gone.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I’m not sure if anyone requested this yet, but can you write some sweet headcanons where Malleus, Vil, Riddle, Azul and f!s/o bond with their child? Like they've all graduated from NRC and they're adults and parents now. Thanks Raven!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

As the ruling family of the Valley of Thorns, you are often busy with political and economic affairs. One day, your child will become the next monarch, so they follow you around to important meetings (when they’re not with their royal tutors) and sit in to watch you and father work. This way, they are able to learn while also spending time with their parents.

A beloved family past time is taking a stroll in the palace gardens, hand in hand--your child holding one of yours, and one of dad’s. Malleus knows just what their favorite flower is, and sometimes does little magic tricks to get them to giggle--a shower of petals, or perhaps making all of their favorite flowers bloom in unison.

Sometimes Malleus joins his child for their lessons! It can be boring studying history books or practicing the violin alone, so he might read aloud to them, or take up a string instrument himself to show them the ropes!

Malleus also joins his child for the occasional spar. Of course, he never really goes all-out, but he does try to push them to think quick on their feet. Each battle tends to end with Malleus lying on the floor and pretending he has been “slain”--and when his child cautiously approaches to check on him, Malleus strikes back by tickling them until they’re squealing with laughter.

He knows it can be hard to get a grasp on magic, so when the first sparks start to appear in his child, he makes the time to help them control it. Malleus keeps mint candies in his robes to help cool fiery belches, and he kindly guides his child through shifting from humanoid to dragon and back.

There’s always ice-cream--the king’s favorite treat--on hand! He loves to share it with his child (especially if they’ve expelled a fiery burp earlier). Malleus constructs large and elaborate sundae boats to surprise them after a long day of their studies.

Malleus’s imposing height actually makes him the perfect playground for his child! They love to cling to his back or ride his shoulders, all while reaching up for the sky--which they hope to one day soar through with their father.

His status as an A-list celebrity tends to keep Vil away from home for extended periods of time, but he keeps in touch with his beloved family! That means lots of video calls with you and his child--and it makes all the moments you do spend together all the more meaningful. (Your child has a habit of pointing at magazine covers and the TV screen whenever they see their father on.)

Whenever Vil returns from work, he typically has a gift in hand for his child. It could be merchandise from whatever brand he has partnered with at the moment, a souvenir from abroad, or a plushie, flowers, or candy from his fans. It always brings a smile to his kid’s face--because their dad is thinking of them, even when they aren’t together.

Vil’s his child’s greatest supporter. He believes they can do anything they set their mind to, and he actively encourages them to work hard toward those goals. No matter how busy he is, Vil will show up to every sports game, every dance recital, every awards show his child is in.

He takes his child on lots of outings! The movies, restaurants, parks, spas, stores... anywhere, really! He thinks it is important for his child to see and experience as much of the world as they can--and besides, he loves doing anything and everything with them.

Vil allows his child to dig into his vanity and wardrobe for things to use for playing dress-up! He’ll sit at the kitchen counter and pretend to be a commentator as his child struts out in various outfits and looks they’ve thrown together.

Occasionally, Vil will sit down and let his kid make him “absolutely beautiful” with his own cosmetics. There’s a whole photo album in your phone of your husband in crooked lipstick and liner, or wildly messy eyeshadow, courtesy of your child.

If they have trouble sleeping,  Vil will read a fairy tale to them--and he’ll crack a little smile when his child tells him he’s like the prince in the story. Other times, he’ll sing lullabies to soothe them. When they’ve, at last, settled into sleep, Vil will brush their hair aside and kiss them on the forehead, wishing them sweet dreams.

Riddle is stern, but not emotionally closed off. He has sworn to never be like the tyrant his mother was to him in his youth. Though he may be upset when his child does an oopsie, he takes a deep breath, brings himself down to eye level with them, and calmly explains why it is he feels the way he does. Together, they’ll talk out their feelings and find a compromise that works for both of them.

He plays tea party with his child, even going out of his way to properly address each of their stuffed animals by their full name and title. Riddle sits down in a small plastic chair and pretends to sip his “tea” (cola heavily diluted with water) and eat his “scones and sandwiches” (colored clay cut into lopsided triangles).

They look after the family pets--a pair of hedgehogs--together. Riddle shows hid child where the hedgehogs like to be scratched, and how to properly hold them and bathe them. They love to give the hedgehogs their food, the lie on their bellies and proper their faces up to watch the pets eat.

He sits down with them to help with their homework. If there’s something they don’t understand, Riddle can talk them through it--though he won’t just spout out the answer. He wants his child to be able to think critically for themselves--he’s there to provide a little nudge, if needed.

Riddle and his child often experiment in the kitchen. He’s sure to pick simple, kid-friendly and easy recipes, and makes sure that his kid follows proper safety precautions. They serve you up the dishes they make, from fruit sandwiches to pasta salads to no-bake cheesecakes.

Whenever he’s eating something with strawberries on it, he offers the fruit to his child, since he knows they also enjoy them. They typically banter back and forth a bit before agreeing to split the strawberries in half so both of them can enjoy~

He often takes his child out on strolls through the neighborhood so they can see what life is like outside of the house. If some neighborhood kids want to play with them, Riddle lets his child run freely--he’ll just keep a careful eye on them from a distance.

Like their father, your child is ambitious and intelligent for their age. You can often find them trying to negotiate with their father for various things: later bed times, more allowance for the week, cake for dessert instead of fruit tonight... Azul usually still wins in the end, but he’s a good sport about it and allows the conversations to drag on a little to encourage his kid to put together a coherent argument.

Speaking of allowance, Azul is sure to make sure his child earns that money through various small acts, like doing the dishes or taking out the trash. That’s part of how he shows his love: by instilling values of fairness and working hard into his kid. He also does his part to teach them about the benefits healthy eating and exercise, so his kid can live a long and healthy life!

His child sometimes surprises him at his workplace. Whenever that happens, Azul grants them their own special table in the corner and serves them himself. There’s plenty of free finger foods and endless refills for them, but he’ll gently scold them if they run the risk of overeating or indulging in too many unhealthy foods.

Azul takes his child to the pool or to the beach to swim! He’s notably less enthusiastic about it if he has to do so in his true form, but he’ll do it if his child begs enough. They’re fascinated by his many arms--and to be honest, they come in handy when Azul needs to make a quick rescue or prevent them from drifting too far out on their own. When they’re old enough, Azul holds their hand, and they dive deep to explore the depths.

When the winter comes, Azul personally secures his child in a scarf and several other warm layers before sending them out into the cold. The Coral Sea can get to frigid temperatures during these times of the year, and he tends to worry for his child’s wellbeing and health because of it.

Azul doesn’t give his child gifts often (he wants them to be appreciative for what they already have), but when he does, they are generous ones--a big kitchen playset, a cash register with tons of play money, a lightning-magic powered car they can actually ride in...

Family board game night! Azul has a cabinet full of tabletop card games and board games specifically for these occasions. Monopoly in particular is especially... stiff competition. There’s betrayal and drama around every corner, but you still have tons of fun regardless.

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

➴ are we supposed to share a bed?

pairings: sawamura daichi, ryūnosuke tanaka, koshi sugawara, tsukishima kei, tadashi yamaguchi, shoyo hinata, tobio kageyama, yu nishinoya, asahi azumane x gn! reader (karasuno boys)

warnings: none! pure fluff hehe <3

KARASUNO BOYS WITH THE FANFIC TROPE: THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED (...and a couch.)

KEI TSUKISHIMA

good luck on trying to get him to go to sleep comfortably on the bed.

“i’ll sleep on the couch,” he deadpans, and flops over onto the cushion that is clearly too small for him. tsukishima stays there, caught up in his thoughts for a while. tossing and turning on the bed, his head nearly falling off the arm rests and his ankles sticking out in an uncomfortable position. 

after a long day of practice, you nearly fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. the only thing preventing you from getting a good night’s rest is the sounds of the couch’s old springs shrieking and creaking. “tsukishima, you should just lie down here instead... it’s a lot more comfortable anyway.”

you can hear him scoff with his head buried under a throw pillow. “no.”

there was really no way of getting through to him, was there?

but the problem was, right before you were about to fall asleep, right as your eyelids got heavy and you were finally about to go into a blissful sleep for the first time in months, tsukishima would keep moving around

you didn’t mean to be this cranky. you were exhausted. “tsuki, c’mon. you sound uncomfortable. sleep here.”

tsukishima immediately stopped moving. for a moment, you thought he might come and join you. he doesn’t.

but eventually, when he’s so uncomfortable to the point where he can’t stop tossing and turning and you’re sound asleep, he’ll crawl into bed with you WAYYY later. no way is he going to snuggle in bed with you while you’re still awake.

instead, with his body heavy from lack of sleep, he lies down next to you, praying that you don’t wake up, and falls asleep like a light.

you wake up with his arms wrapped around you.

TADASHI YAMAGUCHI

precious!! little!! baby!!

tadashi will say he prefers the couch-- not because he doesn’t like you, he’s just afraid of the actual part of sleeping next to you. he’s watched enough movies to know what happens when the two characters fall asleep on the same bed. they wake up, hand-in-hand, completely flustered-- and tadashi is convinced that he’d combust if that ever happened. he just wants to make sure that you’re comfortable.

“are you sure?” you ask. “you worked really hard today... and your serves were amazing! take the bed. i’ll sleep on the couch.”

tadashi shakes his head. “i-it’s okay. really.”

“mm...” you think for a moment, but then smile. “you can always sit up here with me, if you want.”

tadashi immediately wraps his arms around himself. “n-no! it’s okay! really! i wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable...”

you smile playfully. “don’t worry about it. i don’t mind, i know you wouldn’t do anything weird. come on. i’m tired, you’re tired, let’s just go to bed, yeah?”

after a few more moments of talking and trying to let yamaguchi know that you genuinely don’t mind, you convince yamaguchi to sleep with you on the bed instead of him going on the ripped couch. 

he’ll be lightly hugging himself, afraid that if he outstretched his arms, they would wrap around you in his sleep. that was the last thing he wanted-- for you to feel uncomfortable around him.

(jokes on him, you two both wake up cuddling regardless)

SHOYO HINATA

without a moment’s pass, once you two settle into your rooms for the night, he throws his bags down, and DRAGS YOU DOWN WITH HIM ON THE BED

unlike the others, there’s no discussion on who goes on the couch and who goes on the bed. after games, hinata is always a little overly confident and ends up oulling you down on the bed next to him. he doesn’t even shower. he’s exhausted.

you laugh (his energy is contagious), “hinata-?? uherm don’t you wanna shower first?”

he laughs out loud, stretching his arms out. “but i’m exhausteeedddd!”

he fluffs the pillows in an insanely cute way and goes, “okay. i can sleep on the left side, you can sleep on the right so that we don’t crash into each other during the night. is that okay?”

you nod. hinata smiles before changing (and then he goes to rinse off) and plops onto bed, snuggling under the covers. he’ll casually get out his phone and scroll through the feed, maybe play a couple of games, and casually talk about his day with you, until he realizes that you didn’t respond.

he peered over, finding that you were sleeping.

he smiles softly, before the idea that he had actually JUST nonchalantly slept with you next to him, your face only a few inches away from his, and the realization finally settles in as his face burns against his pillow.

TOBIO KAGEYAMA

"I mean... If you want."

kageyama says that phrase at least ten times throughout the process of trying to figure out the idea of “only one bed.”

he’s trying his best not to be too aggressive or pushy around you, but it’s clear that he’s cranky and wants some sleep after a long day. his face is in a pout from exhaustion, his bags are sprawled across the floor and the last thing he looks like he wants to do is get a restless sleep on the couch.

“so uh,... do you want the couch or the bed-?” you ask. kageyama shrugs. but looking at how tired he is, his sunken eyes, and the way his knees were nearly unbuckling, you say gently, “i’m gonna take the couch.”

“okay.”

you take the couch and kageyama lies down on the bed, but exhausted as he is, a part of him is thinking with a twinge of guilt, “the couch must be really uncomfortable.. are they okay?”

so instead, kageyama peers over and finds you wrapping your arms around yourself from the couch, and he sighs, long and tired, and kind of just- STANDS over you on the couch like 🧍🏻 ...

“hey.”

you look up, confused and half-asleep. “...mmph?”

“sleep with me.”

the words tumble out before kageyama can stop them, but you’re just so heavy with sleep that you nod as if nothing had happened and flop onto the bed, your entire body sinking into the soft mattress. you wake up with a blanket wrapped around you, and kageyama on the floor from faling off.

RYUNOSUKE TANAKA

surprisingly, he has so much more respect and privacy for you than you may suspect. when tanaka enters the room, he’s lowkey kind of tense, but he sets his bags down and helps you, “uhem... do you need anything? tooth brush? tooth paste? extra blankets-?” he sees you as the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. the way he stares at you is something that no one else can compare to. 

you laugh. “nah, i’m good. but thanks!” you look around, pointing towards the couch and raising an eyebrow at how uncomfortable it looks. “you and i both had a rough day... how about we just sleep on the bed then? i-if you’re comfortable with it, that is.”

CONGRATULATIONS YOU BROKE TANAKA

this awkward blob who’s just insanely flustered because holy crow, his best friend AND crush is suggesting they both share the bed. he then flashes out a grin and a thumbs up, “alright! sounds good!”

you grin back as you two both get ready for bed and lie down.

and to confirm, he has absolutely no shame once he gets more comfortable and calm for cuddling you (with your consent BECAUSE CONSENT IS SO SEXY)

tanaka will talk about his entire day with you in such a free way. everything is so easy with him-- he constantly thinks that you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on and tries not to say it out loud every five seconds. tanaka will hold your hand and try to make you laugh multiple times just for the sake of it <3

YU NISHINOYA

"i-i can sleep on the couch! really!"

...he’s lying.

you know when you offer someone food, you know, just for the sake of being nice-- and this small part of you hopes that they don’t take the food?

that’s what nishinoya is casually saying, explaining that he can “sleep on the couch.” in reality, he just wants to cuddle next to you, hand-in-hand as you two casually talk about your day. he wants to play with your hair and kiss you and make you laugh. he wants to see you smile and cuddle you, wake up in the morning hand-in-hand as someone you can trust.

“uHmMM... okay, you can take the couch then,” you say, completely oblivious.

a small part of nishinoya dies inside with those words. “erm, okay. goodnight!!” he’s trying to sound cheerful for your sake, but he can’t help but feel disappointed.

that’s what he wanted, right? you stumble over to the bed, your legs tired and knees buckling after a long day as you pull your covers over yourself. “mm, goodnight, noya!” 

but later, you see that nishinoya is standing above the couch a lot like kageyama did-- contemplating whether or not he should speak out about wanting to go on the bed next to you or going on the couch. once he hears that you’ve stopped shuffling under your bed covers, he thinks you’re asleep and stares at you-- only to find your eyes staring into his.

he blurts the words out. “can i- i mean, only if it’s okay with you, can i sleep on the bed with you?!”

you hesitate, but then raise an eyebrow and your upper lip curls with a playful grin. “oh?”

nishinoya laughs and gives a small shrug.

“c’mere.”

KOSHI SUGAWARA

he's such a sweetheart.

sugawara knows that you work really hard to help the boys stay healthy. he knows the work you put into cleaning up and trying to decide what’s best for them and yourself. ���you can pick! i don’t really mind. go ahead, do whatever you’d like.”

(a part of him is secretly begging that you choose to go with him instead on the bed. will he say that out loud? probably not, but he loves you so much and wants you to know that with every fiber in his body.)

“you can pick,” you say, for a change. there’s a moment where sugawara is surprised, but then relaxes and nods along with it. “i can, erm, sleep on the couch. if that’s easier for you,” he blushes and scratches the back of his neck. your stomach sinks. did he really want to sleep on the couch-

“but if you’re okay with it, we can both share the bed-”

“okay!” the words spill out of you before you can stop them. you clear your throat, trying to contain your excitment. “i mean. okay.”

sugawara laughs and takes your hand, and he props up the pillows (strikes me as the guy to have a playlist i am just saying) and asks you about your day. 

he will definitely end up cuddling you in his sleep. in the morning, you wake up on his chest with his arms around you, and when you look on the other side of the bed-- you’re no longer alone. a soft smile with friendly eyes is staring back at you.

“did you sleep well, princess?”

DAICHI SAWAMURA

GENTLEMAN GENTLEMAN GENTLEMAN

he knows that you're private about a lot of stuff, but he'll definitely be a lot like suga and make sure whatever happens is best for you. daichi will make sure that above all else, you feeling comfortable is top priotity. he’ll try to be a good guy for you and let you make yourself at home-- heck, he probably brought lights or something in case you were afraid of the dark because hE’S JUST THAT CONSIDERATE

daichi, out of all of them, will immediately address that he’ll take the couch first. “i’ll take the couch. it’s been a long day.”

at this point, daichi’s brain is on autopilot after so long and he just immediately assumes that you’ll take the bed. he wants you to feel as rested as possible for the next day, so daichi is just about ready to flop around the couch, when you say:

“daichi... you should take the bed-! i can go on the couch. or we could share.”

HE DOUBLE TAKES

HE DOUBLE TAKES AND ASKS YOU AGAIN

a laugh bubbles up insdie your chest (he blushes and prays you can’t see it in the dark of the night) and you drag his arm to the bed, fighting back the urge to kiss him on the nose. “sleep. you deserve it, team captain.”

he leans back, grinning. “alrighty then. get plenty of sleep. i’ll be sure to see you tomorrow morning, angel.”

ASAHI AZUMANE

HE'S SCARED

HE THINKS HES TOO INTIMIDATING OR TOO BIG AND THAT YOU'LL BE UNCOMFORTABLE

asahi is practically soluting as if speaking to a general. “i’ll take the couch!”

he’s well aware that it’s too small for him. but if it means that you don’t have to deal with the idea of sleeping in the corner of the room with cobwebs, that was good enough for him.

you nod slowly, smiling gratefully. the couch couldn’t be that bad... right?

as you cuddle into your sheets, there’s a moment wher eyou open your eyes and finally look at the back of the room, to find asahi in a strange position-- his head is falling off the armrest and his feet are dangling from the front.

he’s shuffling, changing positions, but it’s clear that he’s nervous and isn’t too sure what you think of him like this.

“come here, big guy.”

you outstretch your arms and pat the side of your bed, and he doesn’t look to sure. it’s almost beauty and the beast all over again-- just the roles are slightly edited.

“oh-hkay!” asahi smiles slightly, the tips of his ears turning pink. “are you sure?”

you nod. “sure i’m sure. now come here, ‘m sleepy.”

asahi laughs softly and lies down, trying to avoid going too much in the center in fear of taking up too much space. “hey, it’s fine.”

you wake up with his arm as a pillow and your head resting on his shoulder.

🕭 reblog | comment | like 🕭

did you take care of yourself today? you deserve to, no matter what you got done today. remember to drink water to nourish your sexc body and to give you strength!! i love you so much and i’m proud of you, and know that the hq boys would be, too! remember to get plenty of rest and do what makes you happy above all else. if you needed to hear it today, you’re valid. and you are not alone.

join my family!

tag list!!: @kirishima-my-beloved​ @xuxisushi-1​ @morias-ace @mrsbokutok​ @farfetchedparanoia​ @eunoianthia​ @missmorosis​ @tsumushima​ @moonhere​ @zatannas-wand​ @cookiewhoree​ @kozumegamecollection​​ 

☂ small little playlist for imagining scenarios in your head to help you sleep <3 ☂ 

© kirishimas-manly-eyeliner 2021. do not copy, plagerize, steal, or reuse any of my headers, themes, tags, formats or templates. please refrain from reposting onto other sites.

[fandomlurker333]

My take: Dean has never respected Sam’s autonomy in his whole life for two reasons.

1. Because he himself has no concept of it (he’s daddy’s blunt little instrument being thrown around, or he’s Sam’s protector — bodily shield for his baby brother, or he’s his provider — working/stealing/going hungry so that Sam can eat, etc.). He has no conception of a body that belongs solely to him because he’s never been allowed it. How can you give to someone else what you’ve never been given yourself?

I 100% agree with what you’ve said here. But the thing is that Dean can observe something outside of himself and say it’s messed up, and the rules be different for him and Sam simply because his self-concept is not separate from Sam. Because he grew up so psychologically fucked by their circumstances he literally never formed an identity separate from Sam’s wellbeing. This isn’t to absolve him, I’m just pointing out facts. 🤣

These two aren’t just codependent, they’re deeply enmeshed. And Sam runs off to Stanford to get a bit of distance and try to figure out who he is without Dean, who he is when he’s his own person, and frankly never manages it. And the way his life careens off the rails and he loses touch with reality every single time Dean’s not there (beyond Stanford) narratively hints at the fact that he struggles to do this in any sustainable way. It’s why (when he’s not soulless which lol) he always attaches himself to some woman and ends up turning into whatever they need.

We see them tackle this over and over —this can’t live with him, literally cannot live without him debacle. And for all Sam talks a good game, there are many times he sinks comfortably into the habits of enmeshment and codependency with Dean with no struggle. It isn’t that he’s doing a prison sentence chained to him. He also enjoys the benefits of their dynamic until Dean takes it too far and he’s forced to try and assert a level of autonomy that, in actuality, they’ve never learned or practiced.

I agree losing Sam in Season 2 fucked Dean up irrevocably and made all this worse. I also agree that the tight arc through season 5 was about Dean letting Sam finally make his own choices (being Lucifer’s vessel, saying yes, drinking the blood, etc. basically his worse nightmare). And it was Sam’s redemption arc. This is where they were headed since Season one. And the show was scripted originally to end here, which is why from S6-S10 they just loop back on the same themes and neither character seems to grow at fucking all.

My favorite is Season 11 when the writers seemed to have Sam finally just stop struggling and accept that what he has with Dean is not healthy, and it never will be. But! He does want it. He wants him&Dean. So instead of lying to himself about it and saying he doesn’t and running himself ragged yanking at the rope he continually retightens, it feels like he kinda of sighs into this.

And says okay this is what it is. This is reality. This is water. Dean and I are fucked. But I do want this. So where are my boundaries actually within this? Is there a way we can live happily within this dysfunction? Are there things we can negotiate? What CAN we attain?

Instead of this pie in the sky fantasy that he and Dean will be normal one day when he keeps getting into that passenger seat and falling into those same patterns he says he hates so much. 🫣Sam DOES have agency. It’s agency that is violated by many and our boy struggles bad, but for better or worse, he chooses Dean. I feel like Season 11 is Sam finally admitting to himself that he does.

Now the full horror take is, of course, that Sam is tired of fighting for any autonomy in the face of it being ripped away from him at every turn. And so settling into this relationship with his controlling older brother is like giving up. But I feel like that take disregards the second reason Dean can’t recognize Sam’s autonomy which is that…

2. They are canonical soulmates. Soul. Mates. Meaning they belong to each other at soul level. That most intrinsic element of who they are — it has been mated since they came into being. (Hello, is this thing on??) They have been joined together (bonded, MATED) at the soul level for the whole time they have existed. That shit is INSANE. Like can you even conceive of it?

It’s an incredibly romantic notion but it didn’t come from me! It’s written in the text! Sam and Dean are a “special case”.

It’s been acknowledged by the angels, the demons, and God (Chuck) himself. lol them two were MADE to be together. To fight together. To fight each other. To have their love conquer the end of the world (this is the resolution point of Season 5).

Sam and Dean’s love is meant to do the impossible (allow Sam to leash a heretofore unleashable all-powerful evil — Lucifer). Such is the strength (and purity!!! And unconditionality!) of their love. It’s literally written in the text!

They are soulmates. And to me this entails every ridiculous and romantic notion we have about soulmates. Being everything to each other. No one being more important. Being willing to die for each other. Being willing to kill for each other. Losing a big part of themselves without one another. And yes, with that level of intensity and inescapable intimacy comes all the toxic parts too.

There are many times the show deals with this question too. Are they at their worst when they’re together? Do they just make each other worse? And time and again it’s shown that — at least from their perspective — they are better together. They are better hunters, better people, better members of society, really, in the sense they’re better at paying attention to others outside of their unit of Sam&Dean. They’re only whole, human (“we keep each other human”) together. Dean and Sam both turn monstrous without each other.

But the full romance take is that they actually are closest to heaven and at peak joy when they’re together. We see this allllll the way back when they first get to heaven and Dean sees SAM with those goddamn fireworks. And Sam spends what I think is years after trying to convince Dean that the angels fucked up his heaven — that heaven really isn’t heaven without Dean.

That hell is, in fact, separation (another thing the show is not subtle about. See Dean screaming Sam’s name in hell, Dean ending up in purgatory without Sam, Sam in hell without Dean, etc.) Sam is always running away from it. That feeling of inevitability, of belonging. But he knows it’s inescapable.

The full romance take is they were fated for each other. They were born this way. They could never have been any other way. And so the best they could do is learn to find balance within that intensity.

To learn how to heal from and cope with their trauma (the biggest of which always seems to be losing each other) so they can figure out how to make every moment of their lives together as close to heavenly as possible. Because that potential is always there.

what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? what happens—

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 1, Episode 2

Episode 2 picks up the morning day after the initiation party, the girls are having breakfast lunch at their dorm, the boys at theirs, and everyone wants the juicy details about what happened at the party...

Culture: Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far? Although, it's pretty funny how the roles are reversed, Maddie is all "meh" about it, while Nils tells a different story. Then again, since when do you get together after a blowjob?

Culture: I actually have no idea why Simon is having breakfast at Skogsbacken, since regular schools only cover lunch for students, everyone eats breakfast at home, and then goes to school. Then again, it allows a scene where (Never mind, they're having lunch, thanks @kamand !) Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm casts some nervous glances at Simon after having been called out for disappearing at the party and almost forced to confess to making out with someone.

Culture: I know Felice is trying to put August down, but don't knock a proper Swedish pizza! As much as I like living in the US, they can't fucking make pizzas here, and the first thing I eat every time I go back to Sweden is always a real pizza. With pineapple and shrimp as God intended pizza to be made!

Culture: August is namedropping ski resorts in the Alps, which is where you go skiing in Europe if you have money, although Saint-Martin-de-Belleville is actually near Val Thorens in France, while Verbier is in Switzerland. It does have a three-star restaurant, though. Sweden and Norway have a couple of decent ski resorts, but the Scandinavian mountain chain is simply not as impressive as the Alps.

Subtext: Remember Wilhelm getting up and hurrying to math class in the beginning of the scene? It was so he could grab the other seat next to Simon, because he knows Simon is gonna sit next to Sara, since no-one else does.

Culture: Formally greeting your teacher before class is very uncommon in Sweden, but since Hillerska is all about discipline and tradition, of course they do it. Note that they're again using the formal Swedish title for male teachers, Magister, which in a regular school would be kind of a joke, since teachers and students are on a first-name basis with each other.

Subtext: Wilhelm is exposing how the world works if you have money. At Simon's old school, studying alone would result in good grades, but Hillerska is slightly corrupt and almost expects the students to essentially pay for getting a good grade.

Subtext: Simon is lying to his teacher, he absolutely hasn't talked to his parents about paying for private lessons.

Subtext: No, Sara absolutely does care about what other people think about her, and when she directly tells Felice that she would actually like some friends, that's when Felice gets it and starts making an effort to become real friends with her.

Culture: They're all bilingual at Simon's home, they're all speaking Spanish and Swedish, although Linda has a very noticeable accent to her Swedish. Based on demographics and statistics, the most likely scenario is that Linda immigrated to Sweden from Chile, met Micke, and started a family. In real life, Omar Rudberg was born in Venezuela and grew up in Sweden, while Carmen Gloria Pérez was born in New York, and grew up in Puerto Rico.

Subtext: Remember how I talked in the intro post about how distant social classes know nothing of each other? Ayub and Rosh are either working class or lower middle class like Simon, and since rowing is a typical upper class sport, they know nothing of it, they don't even think of it as a real sport. Unlike football, which is a proper working class sport, they know all about that!

Subtext: Scandinavia has Jantelagen, and everyone there thinks it's uniquely Scandinavian, but all countries have some form of Tall Poppy Syndrome. In this scene, Simon is starting to make a class journey, he started rowing, he started trying to fit in with the other upper-class kids, and getting into a relationship with someone as upper-class as Wilhelm would definitely move him all the way. But going on a journey means leaving things behind, which is why Rosh and Ayub are cutting him down and literally turning their backs on him. They like it in the small town of Bjärstad, why can't he be happy there too? Why is he betraying his roots?

Subtext: This comment from August nicely foreshadows a later episode when August does something traceable on a School computer...

Subtext: What August means is that he's not sure Wilhelm has the same desire to be accultured into the upper class, to play the part of a proper prince, in the same way that he and Erik have accepted their roles and are even enjoying them.

Culture: Although it's impossible to read the name of the medicine, the paper tag on the bottle indicates that it's some kind of prescription medicine. From the conversation with Vincent, we learn that it's some kind of ADHD medication, probably some kind of Dextroamphetamine since those improve athletic ability and cognitive functions in healthy people.

Culture: Birkenstock sandals are associated with hippies in Sweden as well as in many parts of the world, so August is actually saying that the school counselor isn't really part of the same upper-class society as the rest of the staff. And again, his use of the word sosse drives the point home.

Subtext: Consequently, the counselor sees right through August and refuses to immediately prescribe him the medication that he wants...

Subtext: ...even though August tries to both bribe him and threaten him into giving him the medication he wants.

Subtext: A big theme of this episode is class journeys, and in this scene and a previous exercise scene, August gushes about how good a thing that is, how proud he is of Simon for going on one, and spouts some crap about how everyone can make it if they really want to.

Subtext: Thankfully, Madison says what we're all thinking: August is full of shit, life isn't fair, and they're only at the school because they were born into privilege.

Blink and you miss it: After Wilhelm has nervously texted his crush for the first time, he starts to bite his fingernails, but quickly stops himself, because why would he be nervous? He's just texting another boy about rowing practice, there's nothing more to it!

Subtext: Simon's texting game is on point though, he knows exactly what he should write to get Wilhelm to go on a totally-not-a-date with him.

Subtext: In the same way that August couldn't convince the counselor about being sick, I don't think Wilhelm's atrocious acting here convinces August that he's sick either.

Culture: Public transport in the greater Stockholm area - or wherever we're supposed to be - is of course cash-less, and you pay by either charging a special card, or by signing up in their app and buying tickets through there. The point of this scene though is to drive home how Wilhelm has never ever had to take the bus before in his life, and therefore has no idea how it works.

Culture: The totally-not-a-date starts at a Circle K, which in Sweden is just another gas station, but it is actually a Canadian multi-national convenience store corporation. The price of gas is of course posted in kr/l, and 13.98kr/l corresponds to roughly $6/gal.

Subtext: Throughout the totally-not-a-date, Wilhelm is trying to reach for common ground with Simon, trying to show him how he's just a regular guy...

Subtext: ...but then real life intrudes, Wilhelm is recognized by some local girls, who call out to him and run away giggling, which shows how he's not a regular guy, he's going to get recognized wherever he goes.

Culture: Kokt eller grillat, boiled or grilled, are the two ways you can get your hot-dog at pretty much any hot-dog place in Sweden, and ketchup and mustard is always offered. The correct answer to this question is of course grilled, with ketchup and mustard, and this just shows that Wilhelm is a man of culture and good taste. Unfortunately, they were out grilled ones, so they all got boring soggy boiled hot-dogs instead. Is there a metaphor here? I don't know.

Subtext: Again, the show drives home the point that absolutely no-one has a problem with people being gay. Simon is clearly out to Ayub and the rest of his friends, and Ayub immediately picks up on the fact that this is totally a date.

Blink and you miss it: Ayub nudges Simon with his elbow to tell him that he should make a move on Wilhelm.

Culture: What we're looking at is just the local junior/high school football team, Bjärstad, playing a match against some other unnamed junior football team. Since the stakes are super low, the audience basically consists of whichever parents and friends of the players that could be bothered showing up.

Culture: Driving age is 18 in Sweden, and even then getting your own car at that age is extremely uncommon. However, you can easily get a license for a moped when you turn 15, so these are the vehicles of choice for teenagers to get around.

Subtext: August found out about Wilhelm's trip to town, but his main problem with it is that he wants Wilhelm to stop slumming it with lower class people, and to start hanging out with everyone at school instead, so that he can be properly accultured into the upper class. Again, sosse in this context means working class, not socialist.

Subtext: Although Simon felt really great about his first date with Wilhelm, the text message reminds him that Wilhelm isn't a regular person, and that even this innocent little trip generates interest and scrutiny, and can't be posted publicly.

Culture: As everyone should have noticed by now, Madison keeps speaking English, while everyone speaks to her in Swedish, so clearly she understands it. But here she gives her motivation for sticking to English, and that is that she doesn't feel she's good enough at speaking Swedish. Boarding schools like Hillerska attracts international students that have some kind of connection to the country, so a likely scenario is that Madison grew up in the US with a Swedish parent, and she's being sent here to experience Swedish culture and get immersed in the language to learn it better.

Cinematography: This shot of August drives really home all the pressure he is under, he's out of drugs, the headmistress just hinted that he's out of money, and he's literally being weighed down by books and work-out weights.

Subtext: Simon has kept his visits to Micke a secret from Sara, so here he has to intervene to make sure August doesn't accidentally reveal this to her. He also wants to protect his sister, so he's redirecting August's search for drugs onto himself.

Subtext: And on the flipside, Simon isn't really telling his dad that Sara still hates him and really doesn't want to see him, so he's vague when Micke asks about Sara and Linda.

Culture: Finally a bottle of medicine where we can read the label! Unfortunately for Simon, this is Tramadol, an opiate prescribed for pain relief, which is the complete opposite of the kind of drugs August wants.

Subtext: If you haven't figured out yet that this episode is about class journeys, August spells it out for us here. However, the reason he's "congratulating" Simon in front of everybody is because Simon just supplied him with more drugs, so this is his way of thanking him, since he can't really pay him.

Blink and you miss it: For a split second, Wilhelm grabs Simon's leg during the scary scene.

Subtext: The entire dialogue of the movie works as subtext for what's actually going on between Wilhelm and Simon at this point, and Wilhelm is getting a little freaked out by this sneaky display of affection.

Subtext: The movie also puts words on the implications of Wilhelm getting together with a boy, what about having kids in the future? Can you carry on your family name and traditions, or will they die with you?

Lost in translation: The plaque actually says "FEEL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HERITAGE". Even though the plaque means the heritage and legacy of the school itself, Wilhelm is thinking about his legacy, his heritage, and how getting together with Simon would threaten that.

Lost in translation: Wilhelm actually says "jag är inte en..." - "I'm not a..." before he stops himself. So it's not possible that he was trying to say "I'm not gay", because that doesn't work grammatically in Swedish either. He could be trying to say "I'm not a guy like that" or "I'm not a guy who likes guys", that would work.

Cinematography: The framing and silhouetting of this shot is just chef's kiss. The outline of their hair allows us to see who is who, and we can see from their poses that Simon is welcoming a kiss, while Wilhelm is still hesitating.