#and in the novel it was more about communication and learning to put his needs first

[llycaons]

I have a lot of love for xl as a character his arc is so wonderful and neatly written and satisfying in ways I haven't seen in very many other pieces of media

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Since you've mentioned Scarlet Lady in one of your posts, what's your opinion on it?

I've mentioned before that I'm a big Scarlet Lady fan, which is the only reason that I'm comfortable answering asks like this one. I don't publicly criticize the content of hobby creators. That's wildly inappropriate! Punch up, not down.

The linked post was a general discussion of the adaptation process and how @zoe-oneesama did a fantastic job, so for this one, I'm just going to do some general gushing because I do actually like praising and enjoying things!

Scarlet Lady's chosen format (comic) allows it to have this wonderful conversation with canon where it can rely on the framework of canon to tell it's own story while also using canon for jokes and meta commentary. This means that Scarlet Lady is about as close as fan content can get to a direct reboot because it's able to have moments like this one from the comic's first post:

[Image description: Adrien standing in his room after transforming into Chat Noir for the first time. He is beaming and his eyes are shining with excitement as he exclaims, "This is gonna be awesome!"]

A single picture that communicates everything we need to know about Adrien getting his miraculous. When I've done this same thing in fanfic, I had to write out the full scene because that's how novels work. You have to give the full picture. With a comic, you can just quickly acknowledge this thing that we all already know and then move on to the new stuff. A picture really is worth a thousand words! (Or, in my case, more like two thousand...)

This allows Zoe to keep the same akumas that we get in canon without her story feeling like a boring rehash because she can focus on what's different in her version. A novelization of the same content would have to show both the stuff that stays the same and the stuff that changes for it to be coherent. That's a lot less fun to read and write. It's why I basically never revisit canon akumas in my own stuff. It's just too derivative for the written word.

This is one of the big reasons that I loved Scarlet Lady. Because it was able to have that more directly conversation with canon, it was able to take canon and say, "hey, why don't we embrace the tone that you established in season one and retell the story with that vibe?" That's something that I desperately wanted to see, but that is totally unsuited to my chosen artistic form. It couldn't be a novel. It had to be a comic.

If you want to know what a true formula show version of Miraculous would look like, Scarlet Lady is it. It does everything that Miraculous should have done:

Sticks to a lighthearted tone where nothing is ever super serious

Keeps Gabriel entirely unsympathetic

Has slow character development and background hints at a bigger plot as the only serial elements, allowing the individual episodes to be their own story while never feeling incomplete or rushed

Allows characters other than Marinette to shine while keeping Marinette as the clear main character

Makes Adrien narratively important

MAKES THE LOVE SQUARE CUTE SO I CAN ACTUALLY SHIP IT

Understands that Lila and Chloe can't coexist as antagonists

Reverses the love square, which is the best way to tell their story. Yes, I will die on my "love diamond" hill. It's a good hill. Come join me. I'll bring cookies.

I could keep going, but you hopefully get my point. While Scarlet Lady is certainly not the only way to do a formula version of canon, it's proof that a formula version does work! You don't have to go the serious route for Miraculous to be successful.

I want to take some time to gush about the ending, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll put that gushing under a "read more" in case anyone hasn't seen it. I'll finish out this less spoilerish section with this:

I feel like some people are surprised when they learn that I love Scarlet Lady because - as some of you have probably picked up - it is quite different from my ideal version of canon. I'm not sure why that would stop me from enjoying a thing, though. It's important to remember that our personal ideals are not the only way to tell a good story. There are lots of ways to take what canon gave us and make something wonderful! It's part of the reason that I enjoy being in a fandom.

If I only wanted to see my ideal take on canon, then I'd stick to writing/imagining my own stories. But I don't want that! I like seeing alternate takes, too. Scarlet Lady is one of my personal favorites. It's completely different from anything that I'd ever think to write and that's why I'm so glad that it exists! I like being entertained just as much as I like creating my own entertainment and I don't want to only read stories that look like something I'd write. That's boring!

Spoilers below:

I've mentioned before that there are many, many ways to properly handle Chloe's character and Zoe did such a good job with her take on that! Chloe isn't absolved of all the things she did wrong, but she's also treated as a young woman with the ability to change.

While the comic bares the name of Chloe's alter ego, she was the never the main character. She never went on a journey. The story kept her to her shallow season-one self: a petty brat who just wanted attention. It did this because that's who Chloe was in canon and who Chloe needed to be for the comic to work.

The first time we see any complexity from Chloe is in the comic's final few episodes, which was absolutely the right call for Zoe to make! In a recent post, I talked about how the end of a formula show is the only time when you can break the formula in catastrophic ways and that's what Zoe did. She kept Chloe static until it was time to end the story and that's when the formula breaks. That's when Chloe gets depth because, once she has depth, the formula doesn't work.

That depth is not used to redeem Chloe, but to show us that there's hope for Chloe. That this petty brat who we've been dealing with has some serious issues and needs help. Help that she's going to get far away from the people that she's hurt because her issues aren't an excuse for what she's done. They don't erase the harm that she caused. At the same time, understanding her issues makes us hope that she can be better now and Scarlet Lady took a moment to give us that hope. To show us the START of Chloe's true story.

That is the kind of ending that I have wanted to see in so many properties!!! It was so wonderful to finally get one that did this right. A story that understood that full redemption to the team and damnation to death/suffering are extremes on a scale of possibilities. You don't have to go to extremes! You can fall in the middle and the middle is a perfect, natural place for Chloe to land in this kind of story. Fully redeeming or even fully damning Chloe simply doesn't work in lighthearted formula content. It's too big a lift as canon has already demonstrated.

I also loved Zoe's take on Emilie. I've mentioned that I don't like evil Emilie in part because it makes her revival feel like the start of a new story. She's back and she'd bad, so we have to take her down now! But I don't want that. I want the story to end when Gabriel is stopped. Zoe does this by giving us an Emilie that is another perfect middle ground. She matches canon's uncomfortable implications without feeling like a true villain who is a threat to society.

[frantic-fiction]

What Once Was

Pic credit: iiven

Astarion x gn!reader/ gn!Tav

Summary: Astarion and you decided it was best to remain friends, following the fall of the Absolute, Astarion finds he is regretting letting you go.

Warnings: Angst, Angst with a happy ending, Astarion being bad with communication, Astarion is bad with feelings

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist

"Astarion," Tav whispers, their breath warm against his ear as their fingers trail down his forearm, nails lightly scraping the surface. Hesitantly, they intertwine their hand with his. Their warm doe eye pierces straight into his, and he feels vulnerable under the intense stare. "I care about you, but maybe what you need right now is a friend, not a lover."

Astarion freezes his body still as a marble statue. Inside, his mind is a storm of confusion. Emotions he barely remembers flood him, swirling in a chaotic whirl that leaves a sharp ache in his chest. He gripped Tav's hands as if they alone were the sole thing keeping him bound to the material plane. Maybe in that moment, they were.

A friend?

When was the last time Astarion had a genuine friend? He doesn't know, but somehow, the word seems too mundane to describe the beautiful person in front of him. Tav, the first creature in 200 years of agony, showed him kindness and love, showing him that he was more than the mindless puppet Cazador molded him to be.

The topic was too heavy to unpack fully at that moment. Astarion had just tasted freedom. He was free of that monster and was learning what it meant to live again. He was too confused and broken to figure everything out, and so what more could he have said?

"I-I would like that."

***

A thunderous round of knocks pounds against the front door, jolting Astarion from his novel; he exhales a long, heavy sigh, flipping the page as he sinks deeper into his armchair. The crackling fire provides a once comforting backdrop, now barely audible over the persistent knocking. He tries to ignore it, his eyes skimming the lines without truly reading. But it's becoming harder by the second.

"Astarion!" Your voice is slightly muffled from behind the door. "Are you seriously going to leave me out here in the cold?"

"Where's the key I gave you?" Astarion calls out; his voice tinged with irritation. He remains firmly in his chair.

You're quiet for a moment. "I may have lost it, b-but it's not my fault, I swear!"

Astarion clicks his tongue, tossing the novel onto the side table, and moves to the door. "If only the history books knew the real hero of Baldur's Gate instead of their exaggerated grandeur." Unlatching the bolt, Astarion swings open the door with a smirk. You stand impatiently on his doorstep, arms crossed over something, lips puffed out in a pout. "If the world knew the real you, I doubt you'd have many admirers singing your praises."

You push past him, pressing a warm jar into his chest as you go. "You're just jealous I'm famous and adored. Now stop being mean to the only friend who puts up with you, you grump."

Astarion's heart clenches as he stares at the jar of blood in his hands. He watches absently as you flit around the room, tidying up the minimal mess he's accumulated since your last visit.

Friend.

The word stings like sunlight on his skin. A rock settles deep in his stomach at the reminder.

Astarion has many regrets, but letting you slip through his fingers is the one that haunts him most. If he could go back, he would pull you into his arms and never let go. He would whisper how much he loves you and beg for time because he can't imagine facing the darkness without his light.

But it is too late for that because how do you ask someone as bright and full of life as you to return to someone as broken and doomed to the shadows as him? Astarion has to settle for the barest comfort your friendship can offer him despite the pain that comes with it.

"Hey, Star, could you sew this button back on after your meal?"

Your melodic voice pulls Astarion back. He turns and heads to the kitchen, where you are already seated. It's only then that Astarion truly takes in your appearance.

Gods, you're beautiful. You're wearing clothes that perfectly accentuate your body, stirring a sense of longing in Astarion. You're even wearing the delicately embroidered scarf he hand-crafted for you last winter. Why did he let you go?

Astarion swallows hard and retrieves a chalice from the cabinet. "Of course, my dear."

"Thank you! I can't believe I popped a button."

Astarion pours the blood into a glass, watching the deep red liquid swirl as if it's the most captivating sight. His eyes flicker up briefly before darting back down. He asks carefully, unsure if he wants to hear the answer.

"What's the occasion?"

You drop your chin, a bashful smile tugging at your lips. You fiddle with the fallen button, spinning it on the table before slapping your hand over it and repeating the action.

Astarion takes a sip and waits. The sweetness of your blood coats his tongue, and he savors the mouthful. It's nothing compared to drinking from the source, but you felt it was best to do it this way. You said the prior act felt too intimate for two friends and blurred too many lines, and Astarion felt he had no place to voice opposition.

He takes another quick mouthful, knowing he only has so much time to savor the blood before it congeals into an unpalatable gel.

"I-I have a date."

Astarion chokes on the blood, pulling the glass from his lips as a fit of violent coughs overtakes him. An unsettling feeling churns in his stomach, making him feel like vomiting, but it's not from the burning in his throat.

"Is it really that surprising that someone would ask me out?" You scoff, taking Astarion's coughing as an act of humor rather than the painful surprise he's currently feeling.

"No-" Astarion wheezes through another round of coughs. "That's not-"

You come over and smack his back harshly. Astarion's unsure if it's to help him or express your anger, but the pounding against his back seems to finish his fit.

"I thought vampires couldn't choke," you mumble under your breath. He can hear the annoyance drip from each syllable.

"I am quite the unique spawn, it would seem." Astarion wheezes, slumping into the chair you were previously sitting in. You opt to lean against the counter away from him. "So… who is the special lady or gentleman who has captured the hero's attention?"

Astarion cringes at the hollowness in his voice. He doesn't care to hear the answer, and it's obvious. He doesn't care to hear you gush about whoever has captured your heart and will whisk you away tonight, ripping the last sliver of you he has left.

"Don't pretend to care." You glare, a scowl stealing away your beautiful smile.

"It's rather uncouth to assume your best friend does not care, my sweet," Astarion lies, hurting for all the wrong reasons, but you don't need to know that. "Now, are you avoiding the question because you're afraid I won't approve?"

"No," you respond, not meeting his eyes, opting to fiddle with the button again.

"Then out with it."

"Do you remember the bard?" Your smile says all he needs to hear. Your voice fades to the white noise of his mind.

Astarion feels like he's dying all over again. The damn bard, the suave casanova with a voice as alluring as his smile. 

The two of you, Shadowheart and Gale, met at an old, bustling Tavern earlier in the month. Astarion had wished to stay home, but you all dragged him out of his house.

It wasn't a terrible evening; the wine was decent, and despite his best efforts, he enjoyed hearing what Shadowheart and Gale were up to. Astarion was having a good night. At least until the bard sauntered over with his brightly colored ensemble and his dashing smile, asking you for a dance. Astarion had hoped you would decline, but you bashfully accepted his outstretched hand and let the bard whisk you away.

For the remainder of the night, Astarion watched glumly as the bard swung you around the dance floor. He watched you giggle as you spun, dipped, and turned into his sturdy arms. He watched as you fell for his charms. Astarion felt what was left of his heart, the sole piece that belonged to you, crumble into powder. Because there you were, happy with a man who was everything he could never be. A man you deserved. A man with as much light and life as you.

Astarion left early, not wanting to see the love of his life slip further away, missing the crestfallen look that dawned on your lips the moment you saw Astarion slip out the back.

"Astarion?"

Your voice brings him back. And suddenly, Astarion realizes he can't let you go. He will lose you forever if you leave his home tonight; Astarion cannot live with that. He cannot live without you by his side. He cannot live without your smile, your laugh, and your touch, everything. 

Astarion wants to be selfish and keep his light, even if that means dooming you to the dark.

"Don't go," he chokes out, voice cracking. Astarion is out of his chair and stumbling to your side before he can tell his legs to move. He's cradling your hands, his eyes pleading for you to understand the gravity of those two simple words.

"What? Why?" You balk, stepping back.

Astarion matches your step. "I think you know why, Tav," he says, his voice firm this time. He cups your face with his palm, and you inhale shaky, seeming to freeze under his touch.

"Astarion,"

"Stay," he pleads, stroking his thumb over your cheekbone, eyes burning with desperation and hope.

"Astarion," you say softly, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. "Why now?"

His heart breaks, feeling tears burn in his eyes, knowing he might lose you forever. "Because I can no longer pretend to be happy with just being your friend."

Astarion crashes his lips to yours before you can respond, pouring his desperation and passion into the kiss. You gasp, clutching onto his shirt in surprise before meeting his kiss with equal enthusiasm. He swears he can see stars and feel warmth deep in his chest. When he pulls away, he's panting, his eyes searching yours.

 "I love you," he confesses. "Gods, I love you, Tav. I should have never let you go."

"Astarion, I-"

Astarion pulls you close, wrapping you in a tight hug. "Please, Tav," he whispers, his voice thick with tears. "Just stay."

"I'm not leaving," you assure, nuzzling in his hold. "I-I love you too. I've always loved you, you know that. But after everything, can we just...can you-" You pause, struggling to find the right words, torn between past traumas and new beginnings.

"I don't know," Astarion admits, "But I've never been more certain about anything than I am about you. The rest, we'll figure out." 

And with no other words needing to be said, you held Astarion tighter, and he swore he would never let you go again.

This was heavily inspired by the fact I'm replaying bg3 (again) and romancing Wyll and went the friend route with Astarion. It was painful but I survived...mostly. Anyway, feedback always makes my day so let me know what you thought 🥰

Taglist

@heartfully10 @ayselluna @marina-and-the-memes @anixson @canonicalchaoticneutral @toadsbitch @meulinkitten-blog @ambr4armr @lotusandcrystals @venussakura @synapticjive @skittleabyss @asterordinary @lariatbunny @whispering-depths @butchboi-chihuahua-slumlord @darkest-part-of-the-forest @queenofcarrotflowers-s @sessils @d20bunny@cherifrog@ophelia-ophelian @bgthree @darlingxdragon @mothynyx @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @babyqnn @mmendez0124 @kokoyu-art @lilah-asteria

Want to be added to the taglist? DM me please!

[letmereadinpeace4]

Love Sea episode 1 Commentary

So yesterday the first episode of Love Sea was released. After watching it, I decided to put down my thoughts and impressions. Hopefully I can keep it up until the end of the drama.

First, a few things:

I have bought and read the Love Sea novel. I will try my best not to spoil anything, but this knowledge informs my perception and my commentary. I have also read Love Sand, which chronologically happens before Love Sea, and I will spoil minor plot points if I think they can help understand elements in the drama.

There will be no Mame hate in this post, or in any other posts.

With that out of the way, let’s start:

The drama opens by separately introducing the main characters. Masahamut is diving, checking and noting damages, while Tongrak is on his way to the island, wearing the most impractical travel outfit he could have possibly worn. We learn that his stay on the island was booked by Connor Warrington, a close friend of his.

The character introduction is pretty well done. Masahamut is set up as a character who deeply cares about the well-being of the island he lives on. He is shown interacting with his friend Palm (they are not biologically related, they are senior/junior) and we get an impression of someone who communicates well with others and has a joking, playful side to him. Meanwhile, Tongrak is shown alone, even as he talks with Connor, we do not hear his replies, so we get the sense of someone cut off from other people. His outfit is also very fancy, showing his financial comfort, but also wildly impractical, showing that he is not very down to earth.

To explain who the characters are in the Mame universe, Masahamut is the best friend of Khom, who is Type’s childhood friend (from Tharntype). Khom is dating Connor, who is close friend with Tongrak. Tongrak is also a novelist, and his novels have been adapted by the movie director Aphros, who is Prapai’s uncle and the director who inspired Sky after his breakdown (not going to lie, with all those connections, I am low-key surprised that the closest we ever got to incest was Tum and Tar’s relationship).

At the docks, Tongrak is not exactly impressed with the place he will be staying at. We have it confirmed that Connor booked his stay because Tongrak’s next novel will be about the ocean (Connor my beloved I love you so much you asshole). Masahamut meets Tongrak at the docks and decide to piss him off by speaking in a Southern accent and not driving an appropriate vehicle to transport his suitcases. After Tongrak blows a fuse, Masahamut cuts him off and borrows a cargo tricycle.

This develops the characters a bit further. Tongrak shows a rather childish side and a lack of control over his emotions, while Masahamut’s confidence and capacity to adapt is set up. We also see more of his playful, “troll” side. I also like how his popularity on the island is subtly shown by having him borrow a bike from someone with no issue whatsoever. People trust him!

Tongrak immediately calls Connor to complain and demands to go home, further showing his childish, needy side. We get to hear Connor, who is mostly amused. Meanwhile, Masahamut unloads Tongrak’s suitcases with an amused expression and grabs the phone to chat up with Connor.

For more explanation about Connor and Masahamut’s relationship, they met when Connor stayed at the island for the holiday. He met Khom, who was working as Masahamut’s assistant and as Connor’s guide, and Masahamut helped Connor in his pursuit of Khom (in exchange for monetary compensation. Truly a win/win situation for everyone involved).

I love how entertained Masahamut is with Tongrak’s prissiness. He doesn’t care or take it personally, just rolls with it and takes advantage of it to troll him.

Masahamut escorts Tongrak to his room, who immediately pushes him out and ignore his offer to be at his disposal if he needs anything.

Sidenote, but I love Tongrak raging against the suitcase and later at the blankets. It is so cute, childish and relatable at the same time. I have definitely “scolded” a zipper because it wouldn’t open or the printer because it had issues.

We cut to Mook, Tongrak’s assistant/secretary, who is looking very busy and overworked. She is so far the most relatable character in the drama for me, down with the messy hair. She is called by Vi, Tongrak’s best friend, who promises to keep her busy. I love her, she is such a troll! Also a cameo appearance by Ja, which is definitely great to see! Hope he’s been well!

We cut back to Tongrak as he goes to a bar, wearing a really awesome sheer shirt and enjoying the attention he gets. Palm is his waiter, and immediately start hyping up Masahamut. We get confirmation that Masahamut is really popular both with the residents and with the tourists. We also learn that he is bi, which is great! We always love to see bi representation.

Tongrak seems pissed both at the fact that Masahamut is popular and by the fact that people would assume he is attracted to him, which he is definitely not! One hundred percent not! Not a trace of attraction here! Who cares if Masahamut is handsome anyway? Not him that’s who! And his sulking has nothing to do with it.

Next morning, we get to see how much Masahamut is involved in his community. While it may seem a bit heavy-handed, I do like that this aspect of Masahamut is so strongly enforced. It gives him a lot more depth and shows his maturity.

This mature impression is immediately countered when we see that he has a double of Tongrak’s keys and didn’t tell him. He immediately takes on the caretaker role and as he cleans up the room, we learn that Connor paid Masahamut to serve as Tongrak’s caretaker/nanny/guide/sitter during his time on the island. Is it like some kind of gift reciprocity? Masahamut helped Connor date his best friend so Connor helps Masahamut get with his own friend? I also really like the comparison of Tongrak to a cat. It suits him so well. We also have it mentioned again that Tongrak is very lonely (initially, Connor filled that loneliness void, but once he started dating Khom, he could no longer give as much attention to Rak as he used to, hence why he is trying to find a solution.)

Connor wakes Tongrak up. Not going to lie I would punch him! Do not bother me before I had my tea and breakfast! As he tries to punch him Tongrak falls on the ground, giving Masahamut a perfect view of his body.

The “seduction” scene is really well-done. You can see the switch as Tongrak finds himself in a more familiar territory and tries to seduce Masahamut by removing his robe/shirt. He really seems to enjoy having power over Masahamut, especially since the latter has annoyed him so much. However while Masahamut is admirative, he does not lose his head and starts commenting on Tongrak’s lack of body hair. You can really see the switch back as Tongrak loses his confidence. Peat acted really well in that scene!

I love how offended Tongrak is by Masahamut’s lack of sexual interest. Poor kitty got his pride hurt! Speaking of which I also love how Masahamut speaks of Tongrak like a kitty he is taking care of.

Tongrak tries to provoke Masahamut by constantly asking for a different breakfast and being picky, to no success. I always enjoy seeing Tongrak’s bratty side, especially when his brattiness doesn’t work.

Masahamut is such a troll! I love him already!

Meanwhile, Tongrak has found out a way to get Masahamut to do what he wants (to some extent). He pays him to get him to speak in a Central dialect. It really sets well the economic difference between them. Tongrak has money to burn and Masahamut will do anything for money. I love how much he doesn’t care about being bought and getting money from his clients. Masahamut is there singing “Material Girl” and doesn’t care about what anyone thinks!

I love it any time Tongrak’s more vain side is shown. The way he jumps when Masahamut mentions wrinkles. Also he is supposed to be in his late twenties/early thirties.

Masahamut offers his sexual services and can obviously see that Tongrak is more interested than he lets on. “Even if you were the last man on Earth, I still wouldn’t want you”. Oh hey! I heard a cool girl named Elizabeth Bennet say the exact same thing. I wonder what happened to her….

We cut back to Mook rehearsing her speech to Vi to not have to work as her assistant. By the way I love her shirt! As she dares Vi to call her, she answers her prayers and does so! We get to see that Mook has an itemized list of how to deal with Vi! That is some thoroughness! Anyway Vi claims a light bulb in her room is busted and that Mook needs to come and change it. I see Vi subscribes to the “pulling her hair” strategy in courtship. Meanwhile Mook is getting more and more erratic and her faces are amazing! She looks offended, outraged and confused at the same time. Also I love how messy her hair is.

“I’m a frail lead actress who can’t do anything on her own” as she sits on the ladder she used to bust her own light bub to get her crush to come to her place! I love Vi she’s such a troll! Also does she have Mook’s picture? I can’t really see well.

In his room, Tongrak is having trouble writing the sex scene and we learn he needs to have sex or to hug someone to properly write sex scenes. It really is interesting that Tongrak needs an intense physical situation to describe a romantic sex scene, because it suggests that he cannot conceptualize the intensity of the emotions involved unless he experiences a “similar”, physical sensation. It really goes with him being lonely but also suggests he never truly offered his heart to anyone.

The next day, Tongrak is working on his novel, looking extremely cute with his round glasses, while Masahamut is waiting. He soon gets bored and starts reading what Tongrak is writing. I wonder if the sex scene he reads out is a random scene that was written especially for this or if it was taken from another of Mame’s novels. I cannot place it.

Anyway Masahamut is bored of it and takes Tongrak on a boat to show him around. I love how Masahamut gently scolds Tongrak and tells him to sit properly so that he doesn’t fall, causing Tongrak to sulk. It sets up their future dynamic. Also Masahamut don’t scold the kitty! He’s a city kitty and has never been on the sea before.

Tongrak is called by Mook and doesn’t hear her well. Yeah in the middle of the sea it is a lost cause. Masahamut decides to take a dive while Tongrak is on the phone, causing him to panic. I actually agree with Tongrak here! For safety reasons Masahamut should have warned him.

Tongrak freaks out and starts crying. Masahamut tries to reassure him by poiting out that he’s fine but is unsuccessful. I love how he takes the freak out seriously and only reaches to touch him after Tongrak has been unresponsive. Tongrak scolds him and Masahamut reaches out to hug him and apologize. I love the light little kiss on the forehead and how Tongrak slowly accepts Masahamut’s hug.

Afterwards, Tongrak is embarrassed about his crying episode (don’t worry baby it happens to the best of us) and plays the shy Victorian maiden when Masahamut moves to remove his shirt as if he didn’t wear a sheer shirt in public two days before. Masahamut offers to show him the good stuff, and just like Tongrak I was not thinking of clams when he said that! Again, I love how confident Masahamut is! He is aware of his charm and sees well the effect he has on Tongrak. The episode ends with them still on the roof of the boat.

Overall I really enjoyed this episode. It was a good set up for the characters and I love the atmosphere they created. I look forward to seeing more of it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

riddle's post-ob flashback in the light novel

Like the Leona post, I’m going to discuss the extended detail that the light novel goes into with Riddle’s backstory, then integrate it with what we know of him from the game. It looks like this is going to be a trend for the light novel, so I’ll most likely do similar analyses for the other OB boys as more volumes come out!

Anyway, read on if you’re curious 👀

Okay, so 🤔 from what we can observe from Riddle’s in-game post-OB flashback sequence, his mother has been dictating almost every aspect of his life, from what and how much he eats to his lengthy, rigorous study routine. As recently as Riddle’s Broomquet vignettes, we learned that even at 5 years old, he had already started and become accustomed to his intense studying. When Riddle fails to complete a task sufficiently, his mother has him redo it or study more until he finally succeeds.

This was Riddle’s “normal”, and he completely bought into it. In the game, this is explained as Riddle having trust in his mother due to her reputation in their community as a competent and well-respected medical mage. "After all, she was the most accomplished mother in the city, and therefore, the most correct." Riddle associates "correctness" with "accomplishments", and we see this attitude carry out in other aspects of the main story. He talks down to Yuu for lacking magic and brags about his own standing as top student to Azul, who regularly fluctuates from 2nd to 10th place. The light novel, however, grants us new perspective as to why Riddle tries so hard in his studies and seeks to please his mom. In turn, we can see how this domino effects into his struggles to connect with others.

In the light novel, Riddle notes that his mother would always tell him "everything is for you". "Everything", in this context, I'm assuming refers to all the time and effort Riddle is putting into his studying, the tight control of his life, etc. His mother has framed all of this as being beneficial to Riddle, and that she herself is pushing him to engage in these things because she loves and cares for him. This is something that Riddle then interprets as meaning she must love him the most in the entire world, something that he tells himself to justify her own actions in his own mind. It becomes a piece of "proof" that, later down the line, will make it difficult to reconcile with his complicated feelings on her once he realizes how toxic her child raising tactics were. (I go into more detail on this topic in this post!)

Riddle also says that if he responds with "yes, mother" then he will be praised for it. This, you'll notice, is a phrase that is very similar to what he demands his own dorm members respond to his orders with: "yes, dorm leader". It implies that Riddle is used to deferring to her judgement and authority, and so expects the same obedience of others when he is in that position of power. This agrees with his behavior in book 1. As Ace points out, Riddle is just acting like a miniature version of his own mom, right down to the angry reactions and shouting when things don't go his way.

Right after that, we get another short but telling line. Referring to his mother's affection, Riddle comments that he "doesn't need anything else", and decides to forgo asking for strawberry tarts ever again. He was willing to give up something he was curious about trying just to continue receiving praise. To me, this illustrates that the love of Mrs. Rosehearts was conditional: if you perform to her expectations, you get her love. If you don't perform to her expectations, well then, it's back to the books for you until you can. (Reminder: this does NOT confirm that Mrs. Rosehearts yells at Riddle or degrades him for not being “up to par”; there is just a sense of disappointment at this.) It implies that Riddle became used to a cycle of receiving the love and attention he wanted only when he behaved in a very specific way that his mother desired—otherwise, she withheld that affection. This is why Riddle believes following the rules will make him happy; it’s a result of what he has learned is the “norm” from his mother’s conditional love.

The light novel also shows us how this unhealthy mother-son relationship spills over into Riddle's other (potential) relationships. When Che'nya and Trey first approach him to invite Riddle to play with them, Riddle automatically says that he can't. He had the answer prepared for them, the response already deeply ingrained into him and likely already told to other children that tried to talk to him before. But even though Riddle rejects them, prioritizing his mother's praise over all else, he still feels a twinge of sadness about it. He even expects that he "let them down". "Let them down"? Now isn't that a funny statement. Why would Riddle be concerned about disappointing total strangers he has zero attachment to? Unless... he's so isolated that he just assumes everyone will treat him the same way his mother will. That they'll withhold love and attention if he doesn't act how they want him to. Thus, Riddle appears to associate failure to perform as resulting in rejection and lack of social acceptance.

This plays perfectly into one of the most chilling lines in Riddle's post-OB flashback: "But Mom... Why? Why does my heart hurt so much? [...] Tell me, Mom, please... What rule do I need to follow to make this pain go away?" These lines indicate Riddle finally coming to the realization that, deep down, he has always desired affection. A desire to make friends and to play with them, to have deeply intimate relationships. All he knew before was his mom was happy when he did well in his studies, so that was what he chose to excel in. Things changed when he was exposed to what unconditional love is like through Trey and Che'nya. Riddle's childhood friends are the ones who will love and accept him no matter what he's like, no matter what fuck-ups he makes or how socially awkward he is with them. He started to recognize that painful emptiness in him that never went way, no matter how many of his mom's rules he followed. Alas, Riddle was never able to come to terms with that sinking feeling because his mom had just torn him away from Trey and Che'nya not too long after learning that he had been skipping independent study time to play and eat a strawberry tart. He would not meet Trey again until enrolling at NRC, and by then, they've spent so much time apart (and, let's be real here, traumatized by Mrs. Rosehearts losing her temper over the tart incident) that her staunch mindset has clawed into Riddle's brain once more. His whole life, the main models of relationships he has to go off of are his mom and his dad, who don't appear to have a happy marriage (implied in his Suitor Suit voice lines). It's no wonder why making friends and truly opening up is difficult for him, even following the events of book 1. What else does Riddle have to reference? Crossword puzzles and textbooks? In Endless Halloween Night, the guy barely knows what a scavenger hunt is or how you'd find joy in it...

Unlike Leona, Riddle already had a pretty fleshed out backstory from his flashback. Instead of expanding on his motivations (as the light novel did with Leona), what the light novel does for Riddle is give us more information that implicates what his home life was like. It's still not that much, but it certainly better explains some of Riddle's oddly stringent viewpoints that we still see in the present day.

I know that this post was kind of a shorter read compared to the Leona one I did, but that's in part because I've already written at length about the complexities of Riddle's relationship with his mom, dad, and Trey. Those posts are bolded and linked, so if you're interested in more, then I'd recommend those readings!

[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

[pastafossa]

Happy Birthday and a merry 6 years to TRT! 🎂 🎁 🎈 🎉 🍰

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Some FUN TRIVIA FACTS:

TRT's sun sign is VIRGO and its moon sign is LEO!

After 6 years, its current wordcount is 932k words. If you put that in size 12 arial font, single-spaced, this would come to about 2000 pages, and even more if the pages were the usual mass market paperback size!

TRT is now 40 in cat years!

The Man in the White Coat is my tribute to the Mad Scientist trope common in scifi, which is one of my favorite genres!

It is old enough developmentally to tie its shoes! Keep going, TRT!

Ciro is partially inspired by John Marcone from The Dresden Files!

TRT shares a birthday with literary great Agatha Christie! Maybe I'll introduce poison-based murder into the fic in her honor...

The idea of seeing threads came to me after seeing a meme about red threads tying soul mates together. Everything that came after - the other threads, the thread world, how it works, is unique to TRT!

TRT is now longer than War and Peace, and Crime and Punishment combined! So if you've read all of TRT so far, then you have the perfect middle finger to anyone who tries to say you can't focus on longer stories!

The inciting penguin documentary that Foggy drunkenly watched (which led to him declaring Matt and Jane 'penguins') was about Adelie penguins specifically!

Jane has a leather jacket because I love leather jackets and think all badass characters should have a leather jacket! And so you should you! EVERYONE DESERVES A COOL LEATHER JACKET.

The long hiatus between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 was because I had life things pop up. During that hiatus, I realized the plotline/ending needed some work, so I spent those two years outlining, and I also wound up doing a bunch of additional novel writing classes just because I wanted to learn. A lot of this wound up influencing TRT!

The grey threads are one of the only threads that no one has solved yet!

There are absolutely some bad people working for Cyrus James. There is also a guy named Kyle. He is there not for Evil Purposes (tm) but instead because this was the only place he could work that would allow him to pay off his student loans.

When I started TRT, I thought maybe 5 people total would read it. I was told five people total would read it by some shitty people. So I wrote it expecting five total people would read it, and told myself at least I'd enjoy it, and I could use it to learn. In other words: I had ZERO idea TRT would take off like this. None. Nada. Zip. AND LOOK AT US NOW, BABY. FUCK THE HATERS, 6 YEARS AND GOIN' STRONG.

Based on my outline, we're a bit over halfway to the end!

I hope you enjoyed these TRT funfacts. And I hope you know: this fic isn't just me. It's you, too. This fic has become so much larger than just me. It's the TRT playlist you've sent songs in for that keeps me inspired when writing. It's the fanart I look at to give me a boost. It's your sweet comments and likes and kudos and messages that encourage me when I'm sick or depressed. It's the people who've made friends over this fic, or who've been inspired to write fic themselves, adding beautiful works to the community that we all use to keep going. It's all of this love for both TRT and Matt, and I'm so happy that I've been able to contribute in at least a small way in keeping Charlie!Daredevil love alive even after the show's been gone for years now. I love you all so, so goddamn much. I love this fandom. I love TRT with all my heart. Thank you so much for being a part of these past six years through cancelations, through your high school and college years and beyond, through my ups and downs of moving and sickness and fiberglass and pandemic craziness, through late night chapter drops and wild twists and turns.

And I hope the next few years as we enter the second half of this story are just as amazing!

[zombie-bait]

Omg i just realized I have something tiny to add to the whole James Somerton debacle. I'm currently watching the hbombguy vid (as you do when procrastinating assignments) and I remembered something that stood out to me in James' old videos.

So I used to be a fan of his stuff. I am also a fan of Hannibal and IWTV. He made a video covering both so naturally I was very hyped. It was called 'The Gay Appeal of Toxic Love.' The vid itself was fine (I don't remember having any super strong opinions of it besides being excited to hear ppl mention Interview cuz I had recently become obsessed) but one thing did stand out to me. In the IWTV section he mentions Nicki and, naturally, his death:

"After becoming a vampire, Nicky becomes nearly catatonic, and eventually slips away from Lestat entirely. And after centuries of dealing with depression and severe mental illness, Nicky kills himself."

(sourced from this transcript: https://github.com/TerraJRiley/James_Somerton_Transcripts/blob/main/Transcripts/The%20Gay%20Appeal%20of%20Toxic%20Love.txt)

To anyone who's read TVL, I don't think I need to explain that Nicki had not, in fact, been around for centuries. "Nicki had lived to be 30" has been rattling around in my head since I first read it.

And like, obviously I don't expect every youtube essayist to read several long-ish novels to have a full grasp of the series' deep lore, especially when the focus was largely on IWTV and Loustat rather than the entire Vampire Chronicles. Still, it makes you wonder a bit about the quality of the research being done here. You can find the proper info in like, 5 seconds by just going on the fan wiki so I'm not sure what his sources were. And that's the issue at hand, isn't it?

At the time I felt a tiny bit smug recognizing the error but in light of everything that's been revealed, it's kind of telling. I'm not saying this part was plagiarized (I haven't found anything but others on reddit have found issues with different sections of the same video) but rereading the transcript it comes off as someone who clearly doesn't know much about Interview.... It feels like he's reading through a loose summary of plot points rather than analyzing a piece of media that actually means anything to him. It's very much Interview for people who don't know Interview which, one could argue is fair. Especially beyond book one, VC is a niche series and a lot of elements that are important to certain characters or plot lines cannot be summarized quickly for an audience unfamiliar with it. A good writer, who's done a lot of research about the specific topic they have chosen to make a video on, would be able to balance this. There is a LOT to analyze about queerness in VC and its a shame to see one of the more popular queer media channels half-assing it just to churn out videos heavily made up of other people's work. In retrospect he had several videos like that, where he would discuss things like manga/manhua communities while clearly having little knowledge on the nuance of those subjects. He was an outsider who presented himself with a strange amount of authority.

This was content created with the sole intention of propping up queer stories and history, yet it's built off stolen work from queer authors and doesn't actually care that much about exploring the communities it features. Vids like the IWTV one weren't really fact checked because it's only people like me who would might give a shit or even notice anything is off in the first place. There's a bit of a similar vibe in some of his other vids where he undermines the experiences of queer women because he clearly has not taken the time to learn about the nuances of representing queer women in media. These are things that irritated me when I first started to notice them but I put those concerns in the back of my mind because I cared about the topics he was covering and was excited to see these discussions becoming more mainstream.

The revelations of this evening have been disappointing to say the least.

(also for the record I know he made other more recent vids about IWTV but I haven't seen those and even if his account was still up I don't think I would lol

BUT

I did look at the transcript for his 'Vampires and the Gays Who Love Them' video (found from the same link I included above) and this quote about the IWTV AMC show is sending me: "Daniel has never grappled with the complexities of being gay"

Shoutout to straight, uncomplicated icon Daniel Molloy. Devil's Minion was a mass hallucination, spread the word)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I think people who are mad at Fyodor and saying he underestimates Chuuya forget something though - Chuuya's capable of all these impressive physical feats and stuff, but at the end of the day, he's not particularly smart. He's always easily manipulated by Dazai, Ranpo was able to trap him in a book by simply goading him, Mori is able to keep him in line despite Chuuya being way more powerful, etc. Idk I think the fandom put Chuuya on a pedestal for some reason but he has weaknesses too.

"people who say he underestimates Chuuya" as if... I am not one of those people...? I made a whole analysis on this anon??? I'm a bit confused why you sent this to me...

I'm going to assume this was sent in good faith and that you haven't read the light novels, because it becomes very clear from those that Chuuya is actually perfectly intelligent. I'd say probably above average, if I'm being honest - he picks up new skills very quickly with no formal education and he's really quite intuitive. It's just that the poor guy is constantly surrounded by strategic geniuses, and due to his hot-headedness, he comes across as less intelligent by comparison.

If he's so smart, why then is he always tricked by Dazai? Well, everyone is tricked by Dazai. It's kind of Dazai's whole thing. He runs circles around most people. He pranks and torments Kunikida, Atsushi, Sigma, and the list goes on. This has little bearing on Chuuya's intelligence, and is much more to do with Dazai's intelligence. Besides, this kind of becomes a moot point when their plans are very much a team effort, made and carried out with barely any verbal communication whatsoever. When it's time to get serious, Dazai is far from leading Chuuya - they're in step with each other. Chuuya keeps up with Dazai, and is capable of challenging him. That's why the partnership works.

Why was Ranpo able to trap him in Poe's book? Let's take a step back and think to the build up of that. Firstly, this is during Cannibalism arc, where each side had two days to save the lives of their respective leaders. Chuuya's family is under threat, and so he's already under a lot of stress. Second, Ranpo is well-known for being an intentionally irritating little toad and he knew just what to say to make Chuuya lose it - ordinarily, Chuuya is actually capable of keeping it together, but Dazai makes him angry enough to explode. Finally, I sincerely doubt Chuuya expected to get sucked into a book. There's no way he didn't think the goading was a trap, but really? He couldn't have known that and likely assumed his ability was strong enough to handle anything Ranpo threw at him.

So, there's a weakness of sorts, and it's actually highlighted by Hirotsu in Fifteen. Chuuya tends to jump into things because he expects he will just be able to "handle things", which is a consequence of growing up with a powerful ability. Hirotsu warns that people who overly rely on their abilities end up in trouble. This scene was likely a form of payoff for that warning. Either way, I'd expect he won't make that same mistake twice.

Why is Mori able to keep him in line? He isn't, because he doesn't have to. Chuuya serves under Mori because he sees Mori as the successful leader that he wasn't. To Chuuya, Mori has what he doesn't - he respects him and thinks he can learn from him. Chuuya sees the Sheep's betrayal as his own personal failure as their leader. This has nothing to do with intelligence, one way or the other.

Moreover, I think it needs to be said that Chuuya is often well aware when he's being manipulated. He's not oblivious, it's just that there's often nothing he can really do about it. For instance, he is very aware that Fyodor's intention in Cannibalism is to make the agency and mafia fight each other, but as they only have two days before Mori dies and that isn't enough time, he opts for the most direct and immediate course of action.

So, there's another weakness - Chuuya's really not a long-term strategist. He doesn't play the long game like Mori, Dazai or Fyodor - he prefers to sort things out as quickly as possible. However, I need to stress that this does not make him unintelligent or never strategic in the short term.

And that is all that is needed to turn the tables on Fyodor - Fyodor devalues everything about Chuuya other than his ability, but it is always Chuuya who wields that ability, not Dazai. I don't think anyone expects Chuuya to come up with a master plan to completely destroy Fyodor's plans for good... but I fully expect Chuuya to clothesline the guy after the way he continues to refer to him like he's little more than a tool. He's done it before.

Actually, I think I'm just going to wrap this up with a quick list of moments I can think of off the top of my head that demonstrate Chuuya's intelligence.

Every piece of media: Chuuya near immediately pieces Dazai's manipulations together in retrospect, from start to finish.

Main manga: Chuuya is sent to negotiate with the Agency, implying he learned negotiation well from Kouyou.

Fifteen: Chuuya awkwardly tries to shift the investigative focus away from Arahabaki and onto the Old Boss. While this doesn't change Dazai's focus, Dazai ends up entirely unsuspicious of him because he thinks Chuuya just wants to beat people up.

Fifteen: Chuuya expressly warned the Sheep against venturing into Mafia territory to avoid extra aggression.

Fifteen: Chuuya knew the entire time that Randou was the culprit and was gauging how much Dazai knew about his own connection to the Arahabaki situation.

Fifteen: Chuuya goes back to investigate the arcade, suspecting Dazai of having tampered with the game, and was correct in his assumption.

Stormbringer: Chuuya escapes Adam by entering a dark tunnel then hiding to give the illusion that he ran all the way through it. It works and Adam runs right past him.

Stormbringer: Chuuya fakes out Verlaine into thinking he's going to attack N while gearing up to attack Verlaine instead.

Stormbringer: Chuuya fakes out Verlaine again so Adam can launch a surprise attack with an anesthetic.

Dead Apple prologue: Chuuya pieces together Dazai's clue from a single piece of dialogue.

Dead Apple: Chuuya near instantly predicts the course of an incoming grenade while on his motorcycle in motion to ride the shockwave and avoid getting hit.

Also, I think it's important to note that Chuuya's ability is gravity manipulation, not telekinesis. He's not moving whatever he touches - he's manipulating one of the forces acting on it. This means he needs to adjust in the moment to other forces acting on the objects in his surroundings, which can and do change - my first thought was of wind affecting resistance. Either way, he's actually having to juggle a lot of sensory information in the heat of a single moment and that's very difficult to do.

If anyone wants to add any "Chuuya is not dumb" moments that I have missed, please feel free to in the tags or the comments.

Anyways, I hope this answered the initial question, anon!

[katarh-mest]

finished Apothecary Diaries light novel 9

Bah, now I have to wait until January 18th for the 10th one to come out in English, but that was some good binge reading.

Spoilery thoughts under the cut. No holds barred. Stay out if you mind. Mostly just trying to untangle stuff that's been rattling around my head as I've inhaled a novel a day for the last week.

JinMao

Maomao quickly got adopted by the aro-ace community (for good reason) but as the series goes on, I think she's probably more of a graysexual / sex neutral. She's not sex repulsed. She was simply raised to view sex as a transactional thing, not a romantic thing, and never saw how it could apply to her. (She lacks certain assets.) She also saw women around her using men and being used in turn, selling their talents and bodies, and decided she wanted no part of that aspect of being a courtesan, because she could see the damage it could do to both parties of the transaction. Her own mother died of an STD. Men in the pleasure district waste all their money chasing fantasies that are not real.

That said, she was trained as a courtesan and knows exactly what women need to do to please men, to the point where she was the one running the darn sex ed class for the rear palace.

I don't think she'll ever change her views on sex as a transaction, but Lahan planted the idea in her head that she'll probably want to have at least one kid for the experience, and there's only one way to do that. So there's her incentive. It's funny because she objectively knows Jinshi is attractive (and has a decent frog, ahem) but that isn't the same as being attracted to him. He makes her flustered sometimes and there's a massive level of denial that comes from her perceived status difference, but as the story progresses, we've learned that status difference isn't nearly as steep as she thinks it is. And you can come to care for someone, even love them in a non romantic way, without being sexually attracted to them. This seems to be about where she is as of volume nine. She doesn't reciprocate his feelings, and she really doesn't understand why he picked her, but there's an affection and some level of resignation that his infatuation hasn't cooled yet, and may not ever. (She hoped it would.)

Then there's Jinshi. I pinned him as the classic nonbinary bisexual stereotype at first too, but he's more of a pure monogamist demisexual type, if anything. (Or as someone put it, he's "Maomaosexual.") Which is a disaster to have as a position such as "imperial male" whose only real job is to try to father as many children as humanly possibly.

I realize now that pretending to be a eunoch in the rear palace was his way of avoiding getting forced into his own political marriages he wasn't interested in. Taking the "eunoch medicine" (was it some sort of proto-spirolectone? was it just a libido blocker? who knows? pretty sure it stopped erections and maybe suppressed facial hair growth to some extent) wasn't a big deal for him because he, too, wasn't particularly interested in sex. Not with the randos who only wanted him for his pretty face. Probably the Emperor being a lusty bear and the horror stories about his grandfather had him also decide he wanted none of that either.

Until he fell in love with Maomao, and then he wanted to have her no matter what it was going to cost him, no matter how long it took. (And no matter how long it took him to convince her to come around to the idea - which he still hasn't done, although it seems she's finally starting to get resigned to it.)

Too bad for him, Maomao being the La princess means that's going to be a messy political marriage too. (And it's what he was trying to avoid! Who could have known that the cute little apothecary that was working as a laundry girl was the missing daughter of General Lakan?) The whole nation is apparently already aware she's been proposed for the position of the Imperial Brother's consort - and her getting dragged on the trip west with Lakan and Jinshi in this current arc is all but declaring her the front runner and daring the other factions to do something about it. I keep thinking back to the hairpins - she has Jinshi's, Gyokuyou's, and even Lihua's hairpins still. At the right place and time, those three could make a powerful statement about how many allies she has in the court.

Other Character Thoughts

The real nonbinary beauty Ah-Duo, who had a hysterectomy alongside Jinshi's birth. (I had one of those myself a few years ago. Its been swell. 10/10 highly recommend if you don't want kids.) In a modern setting you'd probably be able to keep your ovaries, but she likely lost those as well during the traumatic birth, so she went through menopause at the age of 16. That's, uh, not great from a health standpoint, but hey, she's alive, and thanks to the intentional baby swap, her son's alive. She is the mom friend everyone deserves. I'm so happy that after she "retired" that she got her own estate and became the local zookeeper for People Who The Government Had To Pretend Died For Reasons But Didn't Deserve It.

(On that note: We now know for sure that Ah-Duo knows Jinshi is her son. She proposed the swap! Anshi knows; she agreed to the swap and loves her grandson much more than she did her second real son. Suiren knows. The Emperor knows but can't say anything. Luomen knows but won't say anything. Maomao figured it out but also won't say anything. I suspect the women in the Ma family probably figured it out as well - Taimao, Maamao, and Chuo, all independently, and all tacitly keeping the secret. Gaoshun may suspect but like Maomao, knows not to think too hard about it. Gyokyuou does not know; she thinks of Jinshi as a brother-in-law, not a stepson. Probably a good thing, considering they are close in age. I think she knew that the local eunoch running the rear palace was the missing Imperial Brother, and that's how their relationship has always been. And I don't think Jinshi knows he's Ah-Duo's son. It's going to break him if he ever finds out. Being "the spare" his whole life has been bad enough. He definitely never wanted to be first in line.)

There's the bisexual Big Sister Pairen, who could have quit being a courtesan long ago if she wanted to, but she likes sex work and has a libido the exact opposite of Maomaos. Maybe some day her prince Lihaku will be able to afford to buy her out. (Hopefully Maomao gives him tips on how he needs to ride into town. On a white horse. With a parade and stuff.) Having a true sex positive character in the same series as an aro-ace spectrum character to act as a foil is a great contrast. (The fact that Pairen is also implied to be a succubus sucking out men's energy to stay youthful is also funny as heck.)

Then we've got the one off characters, like the Shrine Maiden. They never call her this by name, but today we'd flat out call her trans. Not that she had a choice... she was castrated at birth. I'm happy her tale didn't completely end in tragedy and she's now got a place on Ah-Duo's Government Secret Farm. Same with Suirei - sure, she directly or indirectly caused the deaths of a lot of people as part of a conspiracy to kill Jinshi, but she was ordered to do it by her stepmother. So she didn't have much of a choice.

Same with Lishu. Her life has been one of misery but maybe she'll finally get a chance at a happy ending in a future volume. Hated by her dad. Married to a pedophile (that her father thought might be her real father - fucking EW) .... who promptly died. Sent to the nunnery. Sent right back as a bride to his son, still as a 9 year old. Even more ew. (The emperor absolutely treated her like a daughter the whole time, thank god.) Multiple assassination attempts. Bullied by her own maids. Treated like shit. Threatened to get swapped to the Imperial Prince as a consort. Falsely accused of infidelity because stress stopped her period. Humiliated. Ended up locked in a tower. Drugged. Almost driven to suicide. Saved, but sent right back to the nunnery since clearly she wasn't fit to be a consort.

That poor girl.

But she's still got a chance at happiness, if Basen gets to claim her as his reward. Crossing my fingers for them.

Going Forward

I can't wait til volume 10. Is Lakan getting dragged over there because the Empress's brother is trying to snag Maomao (the only La family princess) as a consort for one of his family members, even as he tries to force a marriage between Jinshi and his own daughter? (Or worse, make her become a middle ranked consort to the emperor as a snub to Gyokuyou?) Or is it genuinely because there's war brewing and the general is needed to help make plans?

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing 8— “Anyone can write a book”

Yes. But actually no. I say “writing is easy” in that it doesn’t take a degree and textbook learning to understand. You can get an English or lit degree if you want, but writing is incredibly subjective. It’s not even like an art degree that has you study different mediums and historical styles. “Writing is easy” in that it’s about feeling, and instinct, and a little bit of common sense. Anyone can do it in that it doesn’t take financial investment to start. Steal a tchotchke pen and paper from a hotel room—you’ve got all the tools you need. I have a communications degree and 9 years of experience, and I'm about to publish my first supernatural fantasy novel.

Writing is not easy, however, if any of the following applies to you:

You want to make enough money to do this full time

You want to appeal to mass audiences

You want to be a NYT bestseller**** or get an adaptation

You want to be regarded as the best of your generation and fill bookstore shelves

1. It takes a healthy dose of self-awareness and a reality check

 I beta’d for an author who thought that he was comparable to GRRM, the author of A Song of Ice and Fire, because both have adult themes in their book and if GRRM can do it, why can’t he? The sheer vastness of the divide between ASOIAF and this awful, awful manuscript wasn’t worth putting into words for the amount I was being paid, though I tried.

Yes, you can write whatever you want. Yes, you can write to please yourself and stroke your ego. You can write the hammiest wish-fulfillment author insert that you desire. But you can’t expect anyone else to want to read or pay money for it. It’s great to have confidence as an author and envision your success, but starting right off the bat with “everyone will love this book because I’m really smart and I love this book” is only going to leave you bitter and penniless.

2. You might be an expert in your given field, doesn’t automatically make you an expert at storycrafting

I really, truly want the above godawful toe wart of a human (who tried to justify pedophilia in his book with the Israel-Palestine conflict) to stop featuring in my writing advice, but I know he’s not the only person out there who thinks like this. You might have a doctorate in engineering, medicine, political science, chemistry, physics, history, paleontology—any field you want. That does not mean you can successfully translate your expertise into a well-crafted and compelling narrative. It means you can write a college textbook lecturing your readers for 300 pages. Heck, if you can't explain what you do like I'm 5 years old, then you're not an expert in your field.

Elements of good storytelling include well-rounded characters, solid pacing, compelling themes and motifs, an engaging main conflict and character arcs and edge-of-your-seat action, romance, debates, and arguments. It’s so much more than “I’m going to write a textbook, but have my character tell it to you, and everyone will love it”.

They won’t.

3. “I’m gonna be a millionaire like JKR”

The frustrating thing about making money writing is that at the end of the day, you are still selling a product. Which means that it doesn’t matter how amazing you think it is, if it’s not what sells. The Fifty Shades series is hardly a poetic epic with deep, meaningful characters and themes, but it sold. It got adaptations. Why? Because it was a product people wanted and its writing style appeals to mass audiences who aren’t entertained by fluffy, antiquated prose. I hated the Divergent books. They soullessly and shamelessly fed off the success of Hunger Games. But they sold because “teen dystopia HP houses” was what audiences craved and what Hollywood was pushing to make movies out of.

Personally I don’t have any nostalgia for Harry Potter and I both wish I did so I could have one more beloved series and fandom to participate in, but also am glad I don’t because of JKR. HP is chock full of plot holes and “fuck it we’ll do it live” worldbuilding and so many concepts that look cool on paper until you really start thinking about it.

JKR didn’t make a million dollars because she wrote the greatest fantasy series. JKR made a million dollars because she wrote a book that sells every goddamn piece of lore for $15.99 or more and collects on all those sweet, sweet royalties. She understood that she’s selling a product, not just a story, selling everything from Slytherin ties and wizarding robes to golden snitches, sorting hats, wands, chocolate frogs, and every other prop seen in the movies.

You sure can chase trends and I’m sure Divergent is somebody’s favorite book and you can hock chocolate frogs. Everyone’s writing goals are different.

4. “But GRRM did it” (or, adhering to genre expectations)

Circling back to this one. Once again, you can write whatever you want, no one is stopping you. However, books are products and if what’s in the summary and on the cover isn’t what’s on the pages, you’re going to upset and annoy your readers. For example, if I slap a chiseled six-pack of man meat on my book cover with flowy calligraphy for the title that reads something like Sex and Pink Champagne and my summary is all about how protagonist girl gets the adonis of her dreams, you’re not going to be happy if, 200 pages in, the plot detours and Mr. Sexy fucks off to sell NFTs.

It doesn’t meet genre expectations.

GoT kicks off with incest and child defenestration. It tells you *exactly* what you’re getting into immediately. You can subvert plot expectations all you want. You can subvert tropes and archetypes and throw in all kinds of twists and turns. But if you’re writing a YA novel and 100 pages in after campfire songs and the power of friendship, Protagonist gets assaulted in a 7-11 parking lot because you wanted to be ~edgy~ you’re going to piss off your readers.

Take Mulan for example. It has a dramatic tonal shift so powerful, the musical stops being a musical because it’s traumatized. Mulan doesn’t drop in the grizzled and horrifying wasteland of a battlefield with thousands of dead soldiers in an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. It’s already a war movie, the possibility is already there.

If you want to write adult content, then write a book for audiences who are prepared for and want to read adult content. Otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure.

5. “Okay but it’s not entertaining”

Your first job as an author is to entertain (your second is to do it responsibly imo). There’s millions of books out there—why should someone read yours? Whether that’s entertainment through a feel-good romance or a gut-wrenching tragedy, you need to keep convincing your readers to stay invested in the story, otherwise they can and will put it down to read something else. No one is obligated to read your book to the end.

So, yeah your protagonist might have all the elements of your own personal tragedies and it sure is meaningful to you, but the way you wrote it is incredibly boring and no one will care. It might be the most brilliant heist plot ever conceived, but you focused on all the wrong elements, the pacing is whack, and your protagonist is annoying, so no one will read it.

Very few individual elements can be good enough to carry the entire manuscript and the likelihood of an author being really good at one thing and awful at the rest is slim. Readers can quit a book over the most arbitrary reasons. Do you want to die on a hill of “I’m not changing my annoying protagonist, I’m right and they will see”? They won’t. The arguments authors get into with me over how I hated their protagonist or I told them which parts were boring and dragged because I “didn’t understand the story” are pointless. If it’s boring or confusing or annoying, no one will read it.

6. First Drafts are drafts for a reason

Actually writing is less than half the time and effort spent on getting a book to publication. Probably less than a quarter. The rest of that time is spent editing and rewriting. Some first drafts will be better than others, not arguing that, but your first run through your story has a non-zero chance of needing revisions, even for something as small as typos and punctuation.

You have to edit for pacing and tonal shifts, erroneous details and entire scenes, character inconsistencies and goals. You have to make sure your conversations flow believably, that you hit every talking point that scene requires. You have to make sure your character’s motivations don’t create plot holes and that they’re always on track like a real person and not a creation of your imagination. You have to make sure your action scenes and sex scenes are legible and as thrilling for a reader as they are for you. You have to make sure your worldbuilding is consistent and logical and easy to understand.

Some people outline heavily before starting page one. Some people have a sticky note of “beginning middle end” and run off that. Some have whole folders of different documents to keep track of all their elements. Everyone’s writing process is different, but it is a process, not a one-and-done. It requires revisions, seeking feedback, implementing that feedback, and more revisions until it’s as good as it can be.

Yes, you need to edit. No, you’re not the writing god who penned perfection on your first try. Maybe a piece of your story is perfect on the first draft, but not the whole thing from start to finish. It’s okay that your story isn’t what you thought it would be when you started, and it’s no failing of you as a writer to need edits or even massive changes. It happens to everyone.

7. “Writing is easy, thus it’s not a real job”

Really the notion that creatives are lesser than corporate business people solving problems that their business created. But specifically for writing, the idea that it’s just putting words on a page, thus it’s easy and anyone can do it, so it’s not impressive or deserving of praise and you really need a real job (you probably will because writing doesn’t make much money for most people, but that’s just how it shakes out).

I know ENNS won’t appeal to everyone. I know there will be people who hate my characters, who don’t understand them or don’t agree with their philosophies or find my writing trite and too lean and not ~immersive~. I know there’ll be homophobes out there who won’t even read it but hear about it and make assumptions and will leave me crap reviews. I know it’s not the greatest supernatural fantasy novel ever written.

I’m not in it to make money or get a movie deal and see my merch all over the shelves and get my own theme park. I write so that even one reader might see themselves in my characters and know they’re not alone. So that even one reader has one of my characters as their favorite and that character motivates them to do the Thing or keep moving forward or be brave enough to finally do whatever they’ve been too afraid to attempt before. I want to help people, even if at the end of the day, my writing only helps myself.

Yes I need supplemental income (who doesn’t these days). It’s the way of the world. But I’m doing what I love in my free time and it is a real job because it takes work, and it might not have monetary value but its value to me is priceless.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I just finished the first episode of Heartstopper, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.

The opening song is cool (will probably look up the shows soundtrack like I did with XO, Kitty).

Why did the camera focus so much on Charlie's bag & Elle's drink? Is it product placement?

Wow, no hate to the actor, but Charlie's eyebrows are THICK!!!!

Tori is beautiful but also kind of looks like a ghost (I think she’d be great for the role of  Violet Baudelaire from A Series Of Unfortunate Events) & why was she so pushy about the "dream guy" thing? Like let the poor boy breathe.

Is Nick's actor that much taller than Charlie's? I hadn't noticed.

I’m sorry, but knees are so weird to me lol. Also obligatory, 🎵 she's a runner she's a track star🎵.

Wait, is that PE teacher that will later interrupt the team theorising about Nick & Charlie's relationship? It's crazy how they’ve found actors who look so much like the characters in the graphic novels (other casting directors should take notes).

Ok fair enough about wanting your team to be good & wondering if the quiet, skinny, nerdy, boy is even into sports but the shit about him being gay is so stupid (bet it was Harry that said that).

Glad Charlie didn't get injured learning rugby, lol.

Nick's shorts seem a lot smaller than Charlie's ones do, but maybe that's the costume designer's way of helping Charlie’s actor look more skinny?

Omg Stephen Fry, what are you doing here lol?

Wow, people weren't kidding. Olivia Colman really did show up just to say one line. What a legend, lol.

Ben, did you really make Charlie walk all that way for such a lame ass kiss? Also, let him talk about his Christmas, you jerk!

I don't think that Form tutor is very good at his job (while Nick thankfully turned out to be nice) it’s usually not a great idea to put the skinny, gay, nerd that has already been bullied with the bigger, popular, seemingly straight, athlete, especially at an all boys school!

Ben, you dick. Like I get wanting to keep your relationship secret, but you did not need to pull the 'who the hell are you!' card. All you had to do was say hi in a confused/uninterested tone (then apologise later). If anything, your reaction came off more weird than what Charlie did.

I'm sorry, but I don't get the leaf animation. I mean, I GET it, just why leaves? Why not flowers or hearts or something? It just doesn’t seem that impactful to me, but maybe they have a deeper meaning that I'm just not grasping yet? If so, please let me know.

Ok, so I'm torn over the gay teacher. Like artistic? That's cool. Those glasses? Cute. Him giving Charlie a safe space to eat lunch? Great. Him being worried over Charlie potentially being bullied again? Awesome (take notes, Form guy), but his advice to Charlie seemed slightly lacking. Obviously, honesty & communication are important in relationships, but I'm a little surprised that possible safety concerns weren't addressed at all, especially from a fellow gay guy. Like I get that he doesn’t know the kind of guy Charlie's "dating" & that just because someone doesn't want to come out yet doesn’t mean they should be labelled as dangerous but internalised homophobia can make some people lash out & after everything Charlie's been through his clearly more likely to be vulnerable to situations like that.

Nick is a golden retriever in human form, they're 100% correct 😊.

Isaac? What happened to Aled? I hope he still shows up. He may be quiet, but he was so cute during Charlie's 15th birthday in the graphic novel.

Interesting to get to see Elle's time at Higg's (fuck that transphobic teacher & whoever was throwing sandwiches at her). Sad she doesn’t have any friends but I'm sure that'll change when she meets Tara & Darcy. Wow, is it strict over there, though, like you can't even be on your phone at lunchtime? Damn! Surprised they did it this way, though, as I was assuming they'd just make Truham co-ed so all the characters could be in the same place.

Tao, my guy, the drink thing is sweet but that hair is.....certainly.....a choice 😅.

The shots of Charlie looking at food, without eating, make me ☹️.

I gotta be honest, the montage of Nick & Charlie saying hi to each other was a little cringy to me compared to how it came across in the graphic novel, but they're meant to be teens, so I'll let it slide. It's also an effective way to highlight how differently Charlie's "boyfriend" treats him compared to an acquaintance.

Ben's hand covering up Nick's smiley face got me like ☹️/😠. They're not even together yet & I already felt like telling him to get off Charlie, like that boy is not for you! It’s ridiculous, lol.

Ben what you did was fucked up but it's hard to be scared of someone who looks so much like a meerkat in a wig (no hate to the actor) also did it seem like he just....skidded away when Nick pulled him off Charlie? Like, was the actor wearing Heelys lol? Or had someone just mopped the floor without telling anyone? Also, it's lame to wear a coat when you're cold? What in the toxic masculinity are you fucking on about Ben?

Omg the bathroom scene was so adorable, but I wanna know what kind of pen Nick was using because being covered in that amount of ink is crazy 😆.

Overall, it's very cute. I like Nick & Charlie. It’ll probably take a bit longer for me to really care about the other characters. Ben can catch these hands! And I’m looking forward to watching the Narlie relationship develop.

So while not overly ground breaking (though obviously important for LGBTQ+ rep) it's definitely enjoyable in a comforting sort of way which (considering medias fascination with marginalised suffering) is obviously important for queer youth but also must be quite healing for queer elders. Because you deserve wholesome, cheesy, romance just as much as anyone else.

[artist-issues]

I want to say something about clear communication and objective “listening to understand intended meaning.” But ironically I don’t know if I’ll say it with words that make sense.

Here goes.

When someone says something to you verbally, you take the words they said, the tone they used, the timing, the context of your situation, and all the background knowledge you have of that person in and use that to interpret their meaning. If you’re listening to understand their meaning, instead of listening to hear what you were already looking for before they opened their mouths, but that’s a topic for another post.

Same thing with a book or a movie or even a song (that one’s muddier.) You are supposed to take the words they used, the characters they drew, the facial expressions the actors make, the music timed, and the context you’ve been given, to interpret their meaning. And you’re supposed to do it even more considerately and in even better faith than you would a verbal conversation—because the storyteller isn’t having a spur-of-the-moment chat with you. They took a blank page and agonized and labored over what to create on it, and chose what not to create, to bring you a specific piece of material that was very, very intentional. And beautiful, pleasing, useful, relatable.

There’s a higher level of self-sacrifice in how much a storyteller considered you while communicating (or there should be, and used to be, till storytellers got all “artsy” and started saying idiotic things like “art for art’s sake,” and “you only have to create for yourself,” but again, post for another time.) There should be as much self-sacrifice and willingness to listen to understand intended meaning, even if you don’t like that meaning, in the listener.

Now, here’s what I want to say.

All human communicators, whether it’s your mom on the phone with you verbally or an artist with a painting or a writer and their novel, make communication errors. They say something that’s just a little off, not quite perfectly capturing their “intended meaning.” Then the imperfect human listener also makes mistakes in being objective, even when they’re trying to “listen to understand,” and whatever mistakes-in-communication are there become even more confusing.

BUT.

There is one story and one piece of communication that is 100% perfectly said and perfectly communicates in step with the communicator’s intended meaning. It’s the Bible.

Trusting that this is true about the Bible is it’s own topic. I won’t go into that here. But moving forward on the premise that it is true—

—I was taught exegesis in a book called Grasping God’s Word which is difficult to complete but intensely worth it. Because it will actually not only teach you how to “listen to understand intended meaning” from the ONLY place where that’s of life-or-death importance—but the tools it gives you also would apply to trying to “listen to understand the intended meaning” of all communication.

It puts your brain through exercises specifically intended to work out the muscles that hone what you can know for a fact, about the communicator and reality and how much of that needs to be relevant to interpreting their work, and what you can drop. Plus how to drop your prejudices, your preconceived notions, your experiences, anything that could lead to interpretational error.

It’s necessary to learn those things because if there’s a supreme all-powerful Creator who wants to be in a relationship with you, His creation, and has given you a written Word to explain it all, you better understand what He’s really saying, not just “what you think He might be saying.” If it weren’t so urgent and so necessary to learn how to listen to God with the intent to understand, you know what we’d do?

We’d start saying things like, “well, that’s just your interpretation.” And “there’s no right or wrong.” And “that’s true for you, not true for me.” And then suddenly nobody can communicate anything, because we’re not just applying that “it’s unimportant what the Author meant” to God. We’re applying it to all communicators. Suddenly all that matters is you, you, you. How do you interpret it? What makes it meaningful to you? Nevermind what was actually said—how do you feel about it?

And suddenly, fandom culture.

Basically what I’m saying is, if you study Biblical exegesis, you solve your illiteracy problem. After all, He kind of invented words, communication and listening.

[wenclairfamily]

"The Passion of a Moment" - A Wenclair Family Digital Novel - Now Available!

Click HERE to get a FREE copy of my Wenclair Novel!

Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair. They were a duo that shouldn't have worked, but they did… and one night after Wednesday let go of years of discipline and logic that had kept her heart hardened, and finally gave into passion with Enid… it began a journey that would eventually lead to marriage, two twin children, and many incredibly unexpected adventures for their new family.

You can also click "KEEP READING" below to read Chapter 1 now!

Main Artwork by: @annietheartsyartist

From the Diary of Wednesday Addams:

"I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched". It is a quote by Edgar Allan Poe that I have never forgotten. While the specifics of his death have been shrouded in mystery for lifetimes now, it takes only a focused mind to realize it was love that drove him to take his own life. For a mind can no longer remain sane when it opens itself to the maddening desires of the flesh. For logic, rational thinking, tactical planning, and unclouded judgment have no place in the presence of romantic entanglement. I have seen how it clouds my parents' judgment at all times, and makes them behave like fools. Unlike them however, I have learned to keep my mind far more disciplined; always able to be far more prepared and focused on any task at hand. However one night... years of discipline and logic had been forgot... in the passion of a moment..."

Wednesday Addams was walking down the hallway of her dormitory at Nevermore Academy wearing a black bath robe. As Wednesday was headed towards the communal showers, suddenly her room-mate Enid appeared wearing a pink robe, and ran over to Wednesday as she said, "Oh, hey roomie. You taking a shower too? Mind if I join you? We have so much to catch up on." Wednesday barely made eye contact with Enid as she said, "Then you may save my time by writing it down and allowing me to look upon it later. I can read over 200 words a minute, and am experienced at knowing how to skim past trivial information." Enid giggled and said, "Girl, you actually are funny. But come on. We have so many details to spill." Wednesday sighed as she looked at Enid and said, "Enid... your constant need to act like a loyal puppy that shoots out streams of nonsensical words of affection maddened me upon first arrival here at Nevermore Academy. However..." Enid with optimism in her voice, interrupted Wednesday as she said, "However now we're total besties. I know. I mean the other day when I complained about those crows being too noisy, you shot them down with that rifle you stole. I mean you almost got expelled for bringing a firearm into school, but it was knowing you were just trying to help that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." Wednesday looked slightly nervous for a second, and then said, "The ravens weren't native to this area. They would've disrupted the fragile ecosystem. But with all that being said, my daily half hour of taking a shower is one I prefer to do in peace." Enid smiled as she said, "Got it... So I'll make sure to lock the door after we both go in there so no one will bother us." Wednesday had a look of anger on her face as she continued to walk forward.

Soon Wednesday and Enid walked into the communal bathroom and shower room still wearing their bath robes. As they approached the sink, the two girls got out their toothbrushes and bottles of toothpaste they had in their pockets while Enid said, "So me and him decided to just be friends, and well... now I'm single again. I'm okay with it, but... it is kind of sad." As Wednesday put toothpaste on her toothbrush, she said, "It is sad... considering whenever you went out on dates, it allowed me to have more time to myself in the dorm." Then as Enid put toothpaste on her toothbrush she said, "Oh yeah. You're single too. Sorry things didn't work out for you recently. Still, I'm sure you'll find happiness one day Wednesday. Think you'll find that special man to settle down with one day?" After Wednesday finished brushing her teeth she said, "My mind and soul is not one to be trifled with. For my heart is filled of a darkness infected by cruelty; because it was my crime to have no man on Earth who cared for me, or loved me." As Enid finished brushing her teeth she said, "Oh, so you're not into guys then? Messaged received." An annoyed looking Wednesday then said, "No. I am what the eclectic youth of today would refer to as: asexual."

Enid chuckled and said, "Hey. We're all teenagers at this school. Each one of us is a sexual beast deep inside. I may not want to be a werewolf, but when I lost my virginity to my next door neighbor when I was 13, I was a beast in his bed." A suddenly curious Wednesday then said, "You... have consummated your affections with another individual before?" Enid then casually said, "Yeah. I mean... our relationship didn't last. We were young and didn't know what we were doing. But I can't change the past. What was meant to be is what happened. I have no regrets." A still curious Wednesday then said, "So... you opened yourself up completely to another individual... your emotions led you down a path that did not result in fulfillment... and yet you are still not disturbed by that?" Enid then casually said, "I choose instead to just focus on the future. When me and the boy I lost my virginity to broke up, I was hurt at first. But eventually I had to move on. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Then Wednesday calmly said, "Well... on that philosophy I wholeheartedly agree."

Then Enid stepped towards one of the showers as she said, "Well... time to get clean." Then Enid slowly slipped off her pink bath robe. As she did, Wednesday felt her eyes drawn to Enid's body, which she had never seen naked before. For a moment, Wednesday found her mind feeling drawn to Enid's nude form... but then snapped back to reality, and then slowly took off her bath robe and joined Enid in the shower. As Wednesday put shampoo in her hands, Enid checked out Wednesday's body and said, "Dang girl. You have like... the most perfect naked body I have ever seen." Wednesday felt a loss for words for a moment, and then said, "And you as well... considering you are the first naked underage female I have seen in my entire life." A curious Enid then said, "Wait. You mean you've never looked at porn or like Playboy magazines before?" As Wednesday began to wash her hair, she said, "I choose to use my time more productively. However I can understand why men in many cultures of our world have grown obsessed with the image that is of a beautiful and objectified naked woman, and the fantasy of being their lover. For man always values that which is fleeting, and what is more fleeting than a woman's beauty and her life. The death then of a beautiful woman is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world, and equally is it beyond doubt that the lips best suited for such topic are those of a bereaved lover."

Then a slightly confused Enid said, "So... you're saying if I died, there would be a bunch of guys out there that would be totally depressed?" As Wednesday glanced at Enid's naked body again she said, "Undoubtedly some men would mourn the loss of their fantasy involving you never coming to pass." Then a sympathetic sounding Enid said, "Well... if you were ever gone Wednesday... I'd feel really bad. Because you never got a chance to open yourself up to love, along with... making love." Wednesday began to wash her naked body under the shower as she turned away and said, "I'd prefer not cloud my judgment with emotional entanglements." Enid then stepped towards Wednesday and said, "But Wednesday, you're so super smart and skilled. Also, you're like one of the strongest girls I know. Stronger beyond measure. If things didn't work out with someone you slept with... I know you would be okay and come out still the strong independent women you are. I mean... come on. You're still a teenager. There's gotta be someone you're attracted to here at this school."

Wednesday then looked down with a troubled look on her face. Enid for a moment thought Wednesday was looking away from her. Then Enid noticed Wednesday's eyes were checking out her wet naked body, and then Enid's eyes widened as she said, "Oh... oh my. You... Wednesday... I'm flattered. But... how long have you had a crush on me?" Wednesday keeping her usual serious tone said, "I... have never experienced a crush on anyone. When I first moved into our dorm, your personality and life preferences made me want to consider actions of homicide. However as I stood over your defenseless sleeping body the first night I moved in, I... found myself feeling... pity for you... and eventually... a form of... special respect. However... I do not wish to go steady or put a ring on it as you may say." Enid then waved her hands briefly and said, "No, no. That's okay. Look Wednesday... we don't have to put on a label on what you are or how you feel. I mean... I've felt something for you since you moved in. But it's hard for me to put it into words too. So... how about we just explore how we feel tonight. And when morning comes, if you want to keep exploring our feelings, we will. And if you don't want to keep exploring it, that's fine. We can act like it never happened. No strings attached with me. You can do whatever you want with me. Is that okay?" Wednesday was still for a moment, and then she silently nodded her head.

Both Wednesday and Enid stood still in the showers for a moment as they starred at each other's naked bodies, while also waiting for the other to make the first move. Then Enid noticed despite the room being warm, Wednesday's hands were slightly shaking. Enid then made a little smile, and decided to make the first move. She moved towards Wednesday and then kissed her on the lips. It was a three second short kiss, as Wednesday remained completely still, while only Enid leaned her upper body and head forward. Wednesday and Enid looked into each other's eyes again, waiting to see what would happen next. This time however Wednesday leaned her head forward slightly. Enid leaned her head forward more, and then the two teenage girls kissed again. Enid then wrapped her arms around Wednesday's back. Enid then broke her kiss with Wednesday and smiled, while Wednesday looked confused. Enid giggled and said, "It's okay. Just go at your own pace, and explore how you feel. Whatever you wanna do, we'll do."

Then Wednesday suddenly and quickly shoved Enid hard into the shower wall with her shoulders pinned. Wednesday immediately kissed Enid more aggressively now as Enid looked shocked at first, but soon began to look pleased and responded by moving her fingers through Wednesday's long hair. Wednesday meanwhile ran her hands down Enid's wet backside, and soon found herself grabbing her roommate's firm smooth buttocks. Wednesday squeezed Enid's butt cheeks, causing Enid to moan. Suddenly though the two girls found themselves almost slipping on the wet shower floor. Enid caught Wednesday from falling down, and then said, "Umm... maybe we should switch this to another location?" Wednesday then to Enid's surprise: made a grin.

In less than a minute, Wednesday and Enid were on Enid's bed in their dorm room completely naked while kissing. However soon the kissing moved from each other's lips to all over their bodies. Then in a private moment only the two young women would ever remember... they made love. For hours, Enid and Wednesday pleasured the other in the most intimate way possible; causing the other to moan in pleasure and even call out the others' name. After hours passed though, soon the love making between the two young women ended. Exhausted, both Enid and Wednesday began to fall asleep. The last thing Wednesday saw before she drifted to sleep was Enid smiling at her, and the last thing Enid saw before she drifted to sleep was Wednesday's face full of many mixed emotions...

The next morning Enid slowly woke up, and saw a blanket was covering most of her naked body. Enid then turned her head and saw a fully dressed Wednesday was sitting in a chair nearby finishing her breakfast. Enid smiled and said, "Hey beautiful. So... did you have as good time as I did last night?" As Wednesday began to prepare to clean the breakfast table, she said, "It was... very pleasurable." Then a curious Enid said, "But... how do you feel? I mean... emotionally and mentally? I mean for me... I feel so alive and happy right now. I mean... you literally made me hit my climax six times in one night, and I made you hit your climax seven times. I mean... you were doing some crazy stuff I never know you were capable of. I mean... that whole experience had to have affected you in some way, or caused something to change in your mind." As Wednesday cleaned the table, she said, "Well... the experience did cause me to think about us... in another life." A confused Enid then said, "You mean... you think we could only be together in a different life?"

Wednesday turned her head and said, "No. I mean in a past one. You see, I have visions of the past sometimes, and... as I experienced my orgasm last night, I saw a vision of us in a past life. The two of us were lovers. In my vision, we were two women that looked just like us in the 1800's in a small English village. We had deep romantic feelings for one another, but upon our sexual activities being discovered by the terrible village elders, we were sentenced to a private execution. And that execution as it happened, felt as real as I've felt anything. Bullets after bullets penetrated my flesh, my muscles, my face, my heart. In my vision I felt the cold release of death take over me... and the feeling came to me just as I felt myself hit my final climax. It truly was the most wonderful sensation I've ever felt in my life."

A confused Enid then said, "Wait. What was the most wonderful sensation? The sex or the shooting in your... You know what, it's all good. So do you like... wanna do that again some time? Or we could dial things back, and just take a walk in the woods together and talk some more." Wednesday made a little smile and said, "A nice idea... but your chains do not extend as far as the woods. I shall see you later." Wednesday then left the room and closed the door behind her. A confused Enid then tried to get up, but felt something strange. Enid then took the blanket off her naked body, and saw she was chained to the bed by her ankles. Enid looked very freaked out for a moment... but then calmed down... smiled... and said, "I think we're definitely gonna do it again."

THE END

LINKS BELOW TO READ ENTIRE SERIES:

-Download Link to Read All my Past Wenclair Stories in One PDF

-https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14168842/1/The-Passion-of-a-Moment-Enid-and-Wednesday-s-Family-and-Legacy (Web Link for M-rated version of my stories)

-https://archiveofourown.org/works/43420609 (alternate Web Link for M-rated version of my stories)

-https://www.wattpad.com/user/WenclairFamily (Web link for T-rated version of my stories)

[elekinetic]

hi! i was just wondering what your opinions are on hopper, like, as a character? i've just seen so much slander for him and i was wondering about your own thoughts on it since you seem to have a good grasp of the show's characters. also, no pressure to answer if you don't want to, i'm just genuinely curious :)

hi!! i am so honored you asked!

so. hopper’s a shithead. i love him.

no but actually so, i think hopper is one of the most interesting characters in the show, and i think a lot of the hopper slander (and character slander in general) comes from having fundamentally different approaches to the show. and I don’t think there’s any one correct way to watch the show, but there’s a difference between looking at characters as people who are accountable for their actions and characters as vehicles for communicating themes and ideas.

(I wanna start with a disclaimer that I’m not really gonna touch how he exists as copaganda, especially as a character, who really does not subvert the hero cop trope. That’s a separate post and a whole other conversation — one that’s important when contextualizing our discussion of hopper, but for now I’m just gonna focus on his characterization and behavior within the context of the show. alright, moving on.)

hopper is not always the nicest person and doesn’t always make the right call, but he is so caring and protective of the people he loves, and he believes in goodness in the world. i think it’s really interesting to see that over the course of the show, part of his journey is relearning that there are good things, and that even though it’s painful, those things are still worth protecting. (it’s less so that he’s learning that those things are worth protecting and it’s more so that he’s learning to be okay with the pain of it.)

after losing sarah, hopper shuts everything down and everything out. and like, obviously. of course he would. there’s this really interesting part of his spinoff novel that talks about how when he was in the war, he was stationed in an area that exposed him to chemicals that could lead to birth defects or infertility in the future. and then he comes home and has sarah anyway, and then she dies of cancer. obviously he feels really guilty about that. I think it’s really really important to remember that that is a key part of his experience when it comes to analyzing hopper and considering his behavior.

i was re-watching the first couple episodes of season two with abby strangeswift and bats demobatman, specifically el’s conversation with him about wanting to go out for halloween. and i was really frustrated, right, because here’s this girl that’s been trapped in a lab her entire life and just wants to feel normal, and there’s really no end in sight to this new kind of confinement. but then abby and bats were talking about how there’s really no other choice and especially after losing sarah, he is not willing to put el at risk.

I think this haunts him through the next couple of seasons. he becomes so blinded by his need to protect and keep el safe that he loses nuance. especially with a kid as extraordinary and as hunted as el, hopper is so on guard all the time. and that’s frustrating! because then we see him as the reason el loses out on experiences that she should get to have. she should get to be a normal kid and do normal things like go to the mall and kiss her boyfriend etc. etc. but hopper is so keenly aware of the fact that el is not a normal kid and the world is not safe for her. he’s not willing to be the reason another daughter dies.

like i said, i think hopper makes bad decisions and doesn’t always consider the agency of the people he loves, but i think the reason that we see so many parallels between him and mike is because they are both protectors. fundamentally, i think their arcs are the same. it’s them learning they don’t always have to be the protector, that they can trust the people they love to love them back without being a defensive force. learning there’s a way to be protective without being overbearing or imposing on agency. 

and listen, hopper fucks up a lot. I don’t think the way he speaks to Joyce season three is OK and I think he owes her an apology. and I think he and eI will need to have a real conversation about why he acts the way he does and why he put the rules he does in place. (I don’t think people understand just how much danger el is in even when the upside down shit isn’t happening.)

hopper makes a lot of sense to me and his inner conflict is really, really interesting. if you’re looking at him as a person, then, yeah, it gets a lot harder to excuse his actions because they do cause harm, tangible harm. but i read an article recently that i think articulated really well why our progress as a society about discussing mental health hasn’t really solve the problems we need it to solve; that, despite introducing these therapeutic terms and emphasizing boundary setting, we still center ourselves in our experience of the world. (when you fuck up, youre learning—when your friend fucks up, they’re a narcissist, kind of thing.)

so let’s let both things be true. that hopper is not always making the best decisions and doesn’t always say or do the right thing, that he should apologize for that (which he has on occasion).  but he’s also learning and he should be given the space and grace for that. and yes, he’s 40. but people don’t stop learning and growing when they’re 40. you don’t hit 25 and suddenly you’re a perfect person. and this is a man who has been through a war, lost his four-year-old daughter to cancer he is sure he caused, struggled with addiction and depression, and at this point has been literally tortured by russians for months. 

but then again, hopper isn’t person. he’s a character. hopper does not exist to be accountable to his actions. he exists to convey a story, to communicate ideas. stories like this aren’t interesting without complicated people. he adds complexity to the plot and the relationships between characters. he informs el’s relationship with society and adults in her life. he gives joyce the space to be taken care of, to not be the mom, the hustler, the protector of her own family all day everyday. he fills out hawkins as a three-dimensional place, where not everyone is a wheeler-esque suburban wet dream. he shows that there is a path out of grief and depression. he shows that it’s important to lean on people and that isolation will just lead to further suffering. It shows that protecting other people is important, but so is moderation and communication. how do we learn those lessons without a character making mistakes that hopper does?

anyway, those are my brief scattered thoughts on hopper. i think he deserves more grace than he’s given by people in fan spaces, but i understand peoples hesitation to treat him as a beloved character the way they would treat el or lucas or will. he’s a very real character and doesn’t really fit the schema of a fave, i think. and i think the way people communicate their appreciation for his character doesn’t fit easily into the way people show their appreciation for other characters in fans spaces.

I hope this makes sense. 👍

[thebroccolination]

As someone who loves character-driven stories above all else, what I appreciate most about Between Us is that it has one thing most BL series don’t have: a major character arc for both leads.

I FUCKING LOVE WHEN BOTH CHARACTERS NEED CHANGE AND LEARN DIFFERENT THINGS FROM EACH OTHER. MWAH. MWAH! 😙🤌

Team begins the series ten years after a traumatizing moment that’s left him muddling through life with chronic insomnia and noxious survivor’s guilt that he keeps entirely to himself. He can’t ever fully enjoy what he believes to be a stolen life and doesn’t want to leave the chasm he’s in without receiving forgiveness from someone who can’t give it to him anymore.

He ends the series able to sleep and communicate his grief and guilt. He isn’t fully healed, but at least he’s trying to get there. He trusts someone enough that he’ll reach for him in his darkest moments, and he’s been comforted by the only other person who still grieves as profoundly as he does.

Meanwhile, Win begins the series defining himself as what he can be for others. He’s the only pillar holding up his family’s roof, his friends’ supporter, vice president of the swim club, volunteer tutor for anyone who asks, etc. The strain of a transactional life has convinced him he’s going to be alone forever.

He ends the series with someone who saw his kindness and refused to stop showing his gratitude for it. He has someone who’ll put him first, who wants him to hear that he’s appreciated, who’s making him believe that who he is has far more value than what he can do for others.

I didn’t know what we’d get from Between Us, and sure, there are minor things I’d change about it if I could (mainly additions from the novel), but I love their story and how beautifully and gently they changed each other.

I think that’s how I’d describe their story: gentle.