#and in that respect i actually kind of respect anakin for going less off the deep end than i wouldve

[bikananjarrus]

okay!!!!!!!! so!!!! the acolyte ep5 thoughts!!

below a cut this time, because MAJOR spoiler warning!

where to start, where to start. oh yeah. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO MY GIRL JECKI????? TO YORD???? like jecki was bad enough, but then YORD TOO???? ALL OF THEM???? 😭😭😭😭😭

okay, but actually trying to break down some of my thoughts (all based off just the first watch; my opinions may change as the episode marinates a little longer).

the good stuff:

the hand-to-hand combat remains REALLY strong in this show. mae and jecki's fight was fantastic. it was fast, and it was great seeing the differences between this and mae's fights with sol and indara. sol and indara are much more experienced, so they're moving around mae, she's barely landing a blow. jecki and mae are both younger, less experienced, so seeing a scrappier fight that matched their similar sizes and speeds was really great.

i was really eager to see the lightsaber v lightsaber choreography and overall it did NOT disappoint!!!! i will have to rewatch, but i feel pretty good saying this is definitely some of the fastest, and, imo, some of the BEST lightsaber fighting we've seen in a long, long time in live action. the initial fight with sol vs qimir cut with jecki and mae's brawl wasn't the best choice, made both fights feel a little stunted. but once we focused on just the lightsaber fighting, it flowed amazingly.

jecki fighting with two sabers was SO fucking incredible. using her size to her advantage was really well done, because she was fucking FAST. it was exhilarating watching her fight, and i was definitely on the edge of my seat when she was fighting qimir solo. so excellent job on them ramping up the tension for that

qimir's reveal: not surprising. I was still pretty 50/50 on whether he would be a red herring or not, but i'm not disappointed that he turned out to be the master! manny was really great in this episode! a little creepy, but very much in control of what he's doing. eager to see where we go with him!

mae's line about the jedi turning osha against her, almost word for word what anakin says in rots. i love a parallel <3

sol's line that was like "what kind of master doesn't look his apprentice in the face?" and qimir's response was "you tell me" VERY GOOD. very curious to see what sol's been hiding. especially bc qimir also said "don't you recognize me" and sol said qimir felt familiar.

the not so good:

as mentioned above, i thought cutting together sol and qimir's initial fight with mae and jecki's brawl was a little choppy. you couldn't quite get into either fight at first. but luckily the fight pacing all smoothed out pretty quick with the rest of the fighting.

mae and osha's face to face scene at the end wasn't the most believable for me. amandla is a fantastic actor, but i can imagine it's still hard playing across from yourself. and it just felt like there was a little something missing from that encounter for me, as far as the emotion of it.

the BIG stuff (aka everybody died!):

i was definitely expecting there to be some casualties this episode, namely from the side jedi characters, who i don't think were named. they were pretty clearly there to be cannon fodder, which they were.

i went into this episode worried for sol, because it's never a good sign when a master says something along the lines of "we'll talk later" because later never comes lol. but turns out! he was the safest dude here!

i was not real worried about osha and mae, because the story is revolving around them, and there's still too much unresolved with their past and relationship with each other, that i figured they would both be fine.

JECKI AND YORD HOWEVER.

look. jecki was bad enough. and then to kill yord too?????

on one hand: i respect it. it sets qimir up as a very formidable antagonist. the stakes have been RAISED. and in a show that's about mystery and intrigue, high stakes aren't a bad thing.

my concern with setting qimir up as this formidable is that there are 3 episodes left. if this is only supposed to be a one season show (tho i hope not), or if they are planning on having it be a complete arc, and defeating qimir, 3 episodes doesn't seem like very much time to get on his level to defeat him. i could very much be proven wrong with this! and we've still got vernestra in our back pocket who is very experienced and has fought some big bads in her time.

but regardless, so so here for him as the antagonist.

on the other hand: i am really really bummed about jecki and yord. like i said, it was bad enough about jecki because i REALLY liked her, and her connection with osha was really nice to see (shoutout to dafne and amandla for their great chemistry). like when i say that SHOOK ME TO MY CORE. (admittedly, the 3 hole punch with the double red lightsabers was pretty sick, but STILL). like jaw dropped and stayed there lol.

and so i thought: well. maybe that means yord will be okay. like, alongside osha and sol, jecki and yord were the other two of the core four. killing one of the core four is pretty big. WELL THEY HAPPILY PROVED ME WRONG.

again: i respect the decision to kill a bunch of characters to raise the stakes and show off your antagonist.

i'm just curious to see if the rest of the characters will be able to hold up without jecki and yord. i think they will! sol and osha's and mae and osha's relationship have been the heart of the show from the start, so i trust that the story will continue to show that. i'm just a little unsure how it will feel going forward without the prominent second tier main characters that we had in jecki and yord. if that makes sense?

(also really bummed that there will be no more jecki lightsaber fights because genuinely, her fighting style was breathtaking to watch! and i wanted ten more hours of it!!)

so i'm really really fucking sad about jecki and yord. but i am going to wait to see the whole show to really decide how i feel about how their deaths fit the story, and if their deaths actually added anything. bc their own story arcs being cut off so abruptly should mean something.

okay, i think i touched on everything i wanted to! i think i'm mostly still in shock! we will likely be moving onto denial very soon lol. but i'm still excited to see the rest of the show, and i really hope we get more than just one season.

[grumfield]

Hey, I hope this isn’t too weird of a question but feel free to ignore. I noticed on your Star Wars ship chart you have obikin as your OTP but vaderwan only as “like”. Aren’t they the same characters? Why do you like one more than the other

Okay SO sorry for the late response to this I was mulling over how to articulate it.

Vaderwan as a sex/relationship dynamic is fun. For me it’s fun in the way like “grrr you’re mine slams you against the wall” dubcon is fun, but that’s really as compelling as it gets for me because I really don’t see a place in their relationship at that point where they could go beyond that until they’re force ghosts. Vaderwan dynamic to me kind of exists in a PWP-shaped vacuum. What if Tom & Jerry was about freaky sex instead. One-off erotic torture episodes.

This is because like, to kind of paraphrase an earlier response I gave, by the time Vaderwan is a thing they’ve both taken on the mantle of different identities (Ben and Vader respectively) and subsequently are no longer the people they were before. Their *past* selves that existed before the destruction of the Jedi have a very fraught history, but their current selves don’t look at each other with the same level of interpersonal history because Anakin is dead to Obi-Wan and vice versa (obviously this is just my interpretation) (I do actually view them as the same people but they don’t view themselves as the same people so they functionally aren’t)

Vaderwan as a non-actual ship or sex/romance concept is more compelling to me tbh.

The Deborah chow obi wan show does something interesting with this because it starts from a place of emotional inequality where obi-wan hasn’t gone full Ben yet and thinks he killed Anakin (thus Anakin like “still exists” even though he’s dead if that makes sense), so there’s this stilted quality where like, he’s still trying to interact with Anakin when he deals with Vader but doesn’t realize yet that he’s trying to interact with a ghost. Their fights are kind of reflective of this and then at the end after their final fight they both respectively embrace who they are. Sort of reflected in how obi wan just tells him bye and immediately leaves with no emotional reaction at all, then after that speaks about Anakin in the past tense for the first time before returning to the desert and being Ben, because Vader has just admitted to him that he needs to get with the program because Anakin is long gone and he’s chasing a memory. Vader’s thing with him has this Tom and Jerry feel to it while also this need less to capture him but more to try and make Obi-Wan see that Anakin isn’t there anymore/Anakin and Obi-Wan are not a thing anymore, they’re both dead.

Obi-Wan show is very gothic in that respect lol…vaderwan is very gothic and compelling to me as the tragic end rather than the place where they start their relationship or work it out

Truly the kings of compartmentalization! Easier to deal with all of this shit if you don’t view yourself as yourself.

Anyways favorite part obikin is the weird complicated ways that they fuck each other up and the knowledge of where it leads, and where it leads is like the catharsis for me + vaderwan is fairly straightforward and post-catharsis so it’s fun but not as insanity inducing for me! But I still enjoy it.

But this why my preferred post every event in ROTS Obikin fic is like “obi-wan is hallucinating anakin in the desert and going crazy” or other associated metaphysical stuff

ALSO to paraphrase what my friend said: Obi-Wan is very passive (in the books especially!) and doesn’t ever choose, he needs to be pursued. Anakin as Vader ultimately needs to be chosen, Obi-Wan will never be the one to chase so will never be the one to choose. And this is also very much an essence of it etc. adds to the tragedy but I wouldn’t have it any other way hehe

[rights-for-redshirts]

What I thought the prequels were gonna be based on when I was watching Episode IV to VI

there are/were several wars involving clones from both sides & the Jedi were involved as special fighters or something, like Ninja or Samurai or maybe command officers sometimes but others just roam the lands adventuring and helping people; some Jedi can go into the army- everyone is significantly older, like in their thirties/forties- Vader is rising through the ranks during the war & busy fighting battles at one front. As it's wartime, communication with back home is fraught & he rarely gets updates from his wife. He pushes the war forwards & helps escalate the conflict bc the war is his chance for glory and promotions - through the escalation, enemy forces increasingly attack civilians, the situation everywhere gets worse & less stable- due to reasons, the mum has to flee, sending a message to her husband that takes months to reach him, the situation developed unexpectedly, maybe she has to flee from assassins, maybe enemy forces occupy where she lives & they look specifically for her, maybe she's part of a marginalized group, idk but it comes back to Vader's involvement in the war making her a target and/or maybe she's important herself (noblewoman or smth idk, but the enemy either wants her or wants her dead)- at this point she doesn't know she's pregnant (which is why Vader doesn't know there was a kid)- she has to go undercover & can't send messages for her own safety, is at first with allies who protect her - that goes wrong too, the enemy/war reaches that enclave as well and she has to flee again, this time on her own - meanwhile Anakin gets more and more corrupted by the war. I imagined him a lot like Dooku actually, serious, idealistic at first, for the greater good, very by the book, kind of a control freak, honorable but very rigid; as the war drags on, he develops a hatred for the opposing side, becomes more and more jaded, more and more cruel because it seems like a necessity, but keeps up his behavior with his friends because he can't bear to have them think worse of him- he and Obi-Wan are on different fronts, Obi-Wan the experienced, skilled strategist while Anakin is his younger, less experienced but equally brilliant former student, both of them are the best at what they do & the republic can't afford to put them in the same place- they talk strategy to coordinate as required, but there are long stretches where the only things they hear from each other are the strategic news about gain or loss of territory - Anakin grows both more confident and more jaded from his victories, his glory and success gets to him; having unchecked power over occupied territories also does bad things to someone's character usually- the bad guy covets him and feeds both his ego and his ambition to rise in the ranks, flatters him and paints a picture of power and respect and riches and glory, an Empire with Anakin as the right hand of the Emperor, second only to one; of the war having ended not the least because of his contributions, new territories conquered in the war, you know, all that- Anakin lets himself be swayed

he isn't naive, he just decides that a system he controls a good chunk of directly has better odds of being what he wants it to be than a democracy, and accepts having an Emperor for that is a fair trade (he's been in the military for so long, having a superior is second nature to him)

with the war still raging, the unnamed mom lives past the childbirth and faces the odds of having to raise two babies on her own in the middle of nowhere, somewhere the war won't touch, while whatever was trying to kill her is still after her. She shook them off for a while, but they are still out there somewhere and she can't stay still for long enough to risk for them to find her and the kids- probably she found shelter with her husband's family (Owen and/or Beru's branch) who he never talks about bc he's a success story of leaving his humble beginnings behind him to fit better into high society- here she also learns more about her husband, his backstory of making it to the Jedi, training hard etc and never looking back- she also learns for the first time that the people in the fringe territories have a very different picture of her husband than her elite social circle; she hears about war crimes & how newly conquered territories are treated & is kinda like hmm whoops? It's all very awkward bc she's the wife of the wayward son who made it big and then never bothered to visit, but at least it's a brief visit - she doesn't want to endanger them- the kids are, again, split up for safety concerns - she doesn't want to keep both with her in case she's caught, she can't leave both in case her hunters realize she left them somewhere and try to use the kids to lure her out; she's maximizing their combined survival odds

With a bleeding heart, unnamed mum leaves one of her kids (Luke) at the Lars family's home, with them promising to take care of him until she can retrieve him but also very aware it's wartime and she may very well never be able to return, or at least not before the kid is grown- She takes the other kid with her & flees further, never staying in one place for long, always on the run from the consequences of the war which are everywhere, shifting borders and increasingly restricted travel near the borders, passport controls etc

it's all for nothing bc the others get closer and closer

desperately, she finally makes it to Alderaan, which is kinda like space switzerland but smaller & not that significant (the way the Empire treats it in EIV seemed to suggest that), influental enough to be able to keep her safe but low profile enough that a guest at court won't draw attention; she asks for asylum but since they are peaceful, they rely on the rest of the stationed guards & can't keep her safe really well

Leia is about two at this point, maybe old enough to retain memories

Padmé drops the kid off w/ the Queen, who may or may not be an old friend of hers or a mentor or something and doesn't have kids of her own

the war is drawing to a close, she has managed it back into territory that isn't the middle of nowhere, the front is nearing Alderaan but it's her husband's front, her hope at this point is that she can lure her kidnappers after her without them realizing she dropped Leia somewhere (the only child they know of) and making it to her husband, who will help her set an ambush and kill all of them or at least send her someone else safe, a bunker or something, until the war is over, and send some of his (jedi?) subordinates (who can, unlike unnamed civilian mum, fight and travel without restrictions) to go get the kids

Anakin knows the area she was in is occupied now; those news reached him extremely late though since the galaxy is HUGE and wartime communications esp to soldiers are shit, and hasn't heard from her since, which is worrying

he has ppl look for her but he can't abandon his post w/o ruining the war (& his spy network has better chances of finding her than him alone, him leaving would endanger her more as his part of the front would crumble)

and she tries to make it to him!!

and she doesn't make it

and on the way there, her hit squad gets her. She makes a last stand when she realizes she has nowhere left to run

and she's gonna at least take down as many of them down with her as possible

and

well.

Vader ends the war, turning on the Jedi and unifying both sides of the war into the empire, cleaning house, genociding etc.

he finds out about her after the war ends. There is noone left alive who he could ask about children.

*fade to black and credits roll*

Written and directed by

GEORGE LUCAS

[jedibongrip]

title: be the dreadful need (in the devotee) Relationship: anakin/obiwan Rating: M tags: AU, Gods & Old Gods, set in the GFFA, no jedi Summary: Obi-Wan travels to Tatooine to fulfill his late father's life's work. He finds something else to dedicate his life to, in the ruins of a forgotten wasteland.

for the @deaddoveobikin blasphemy week day 3 prompt: gods, prophets, false prophets! a (wip) chaptered fic. read under the cut or on ao3 for all the tags/notes

If Mace Windu were a less kind friend and employer, he would deny Obi-Wan’s request for a sabbatical, coming so soon as his bereavement leave. Instead, he raises an eyebrow as Obi-Wan silently slides his forms across his desk, unwilling to make eye contact.

“You know you don’t have to continue his work,” Mace reminds him, though he signs the forms anyway.

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “I know.” A moment passes. “But I do.”

(Perhaps it’s a show of how much Mace respects him, giving him the space and money to go on this search that he clearly thinks is foolish. Perhaps Obi-Wan would be better off if Mace respected him a little less.)

Permission granted, substitutes found, and some measly funding acquired, the only thing Obi-Wan has to do is gather supplies and pack his things before he heads off. His apartment is stuffed to the bring with boxes, datapads and notebooks, maps and totems, scrawlings of all different kinds, all overflowing and toppling over each other. The more delicate items - glass compasses that never pointed north, beautiful daggers and knives too old and dubious to be used as anything but decoration, but too unsettling to even be used as that, carefully wrapped bone and pottery remnants - were littered over every table and counter space that he has. Obi-Wan does his best to move through the turbulent sea of debris, making his way to his bedroom, the only room which he has managed to keep free of all this junk.

He shakes his head. It isn’t junk, he shouldn’t call it that. All these dusty artifacts, these unorganized folders and notes, this is all Qui-Gon’s work. It’s all that’s left of him. And all of it has been left to Obi-Wan.

He collapses onto his bed, fatigue overtaking him and weighing him down. His eyes burn from the dust and the ashes of incense that have overtaken his apartment, ever since he hauled in what was left in Qui-Gon’s office and house. Like a true academic, Qui-Gon had very little in the way of savings or property left behind, and what he did have was quickly snatched up by his remaining, distant blood relations. There was nothing of comfort or monetary value left to Obi-Wan, the quasi-son that Qui-Gon half-raised but could never stomach the thought of adopting. Between his moments of grief, Obi-Wan can feel himself grow bitter about it. It’s an old hurt, one he healed from and accepted, but Qui-Gon’s passing seems to have bruised the scar tissue of it. But hurt and bitter as he could grow to be, Obi-Wan loved Qui-Gon. Loved and cared about him, cared for him as he grew old and his body and mind began to fail. Loved him enough to promise to finish his research. And despite what everyone tells him, about how he doesn’t need to keep a promise he made to calm an old and dying man, Obi-Wan knows himself to be too loyal to break such a vow.

Even if he knows he’s being sent on a fool’s search. Because even before Qui-Gon’s health declined, everyone knew that his theories and research were odd. Everyone thought he was mad for what he was proposing. Everyone insisted that Qui-Gon Jinn, Doctor of Intergalactic Archeology of Sentient Species, study and research something that was actually in his field. But no. Qui-Gon, ever the rebel, even as he lectured in one of the most prestigious and expensive universities in the Inner Core, insisted that he was right, that he could prove his theory, that he just needed a bit more time.

Well, Obi-Wan thought, time’s up. He sits up and sighs, keeping his eyes closed for a moment longer. When he opens them, he sees his own degrees hanging on his walls. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Bachelor of Intergalactic History. Master of Socio-Political Sentient Organization. Doctor of Intergalactic Anthropology. Oh, how he felt like a rebel when he didn’t follow exactly in Qui-Gon’s footsteps when he turned away from the mysteries of the dead to focus on the mysteries of the living. He ended up playing right into his hand.

Obi-Wan sighs again and pushes himself off his bed. He has a lot of packing to do if he wants to leave by noon tomorrow. He can’t bring himself to be thankful that Qui-Gon did leave him his ship, as helpful as it will be to cut down costs on his journey. It’s a rustbucket, one that Obi-Wan has always hated flying in. Very well, he thinks, reaching under his bed for his suitcase.

Qui-Gon used to love dragging him on cross-quadrant trips. This will be like a trip down memory lane, a homecoming, of sorts, and a final goodbye all wrapped in one. If he’s lucky (and he rarely is) the ship might hold together long enough for him to get there and back, before he can sell it for scrap.

—

It’s late afternoon when Obi-Wan finally leaves orbit, parking garage fees paid, his bags and crates safely stored on board, and coordinates for the source of Qui-Gon’s obsession plugged in and waiting until Obi-Wan weaves his way through traffic to get to a hyperspace route.

The jolt into hyperspace is momentarily unpleasant, a rush of unease and queasiness rushing through Obi-Wan’s body, as if all his cells know that they are not meant to be moving so far, so fast, and so they protest. Then the jerking and creaking of the ship ceases, and planets and stars are nothing but smudges in the pitch of space, and his body and mind calm enough for him to set the ship on autopilot and step out of the cockpit.

The ship used to feel so much bigger when he was a boy. Even after all his growth spurts and moments of teenage rebellion - like the time he stole this very ship to go on his own adventure - it felt spacious and freeing, even as he had to stoop to walk through doorways or squeeze into his childhood bunk. Without the sheen of adventure and the comfort of Qui-Gon's constant presence - physical or not - Obi-Wan saw the ship with the eyes of an adult; old and aging, cramped, the amalgamation of cheaply pawned and traded parts that once felt magical and eclectic, and now felt vaguely unsafe and slapdash. Every corner had a memory so Obi-Wan keeps his head down as he walks through the corridors. When he was loading the ship, he automatically began storing his things in the tiny cabin that he used to stay in, until he realized what a waste it was. Qui-Gon’s berth was larger and, of course, wasn’t being used. Obi-Wan moved his things there, but now that he walks through the doorway, he feels awkward and out of place.

He intended to look over his data in the comfort of the bed, but he cowardly grabs the bags he thinks have the maps and pads that he needs and brings them to the common area. He carefully unrolls the star maps onto the table. Some of them are copies, some are original from years ago - Qui-Gon always dodged any questions about exactly how old they were, or how they came into his possession. But despite years separating some of the data, all of them focus on the same system, the same accursed planet staying in focus in the centre.

Tatooine.

An abandoned desert planet, a wasteland, a graveyard, a planet that hasn’t held any sentient life for thousands of years, since before the republic was even an utterance on anyone’s lips.

The place that had captured Qui-Gon’s interest, his soul, his mind, since Obi-Wan was a boy.

Many intergalactic archeologists had a passing interest in Tatooine, Obi-Wan knew. Despite its dry and desolate state, Tatooine once held oceans, possibly had fresh water too. Some academics and conspiracy theorists believe that Tatooine may have once held sentient life - though what happened to it, if it ever existed, was where many debates emerged. Some thought that, if intelligence was once found on Tatooine, it would have died out when four of the planet’s moons escaped orbit, leaving it with only three remaining to protect it from the blaze of the twin suns. Others thought that the original population could have been some of the first to discover interplanetary flight, and left their dying planet in the hopes of finding a new home.

The nature of the shifting tides of sand means that any remains, any evidence, had long since been buried or eroded by time. What few attempts have been made to mine what few valuable materials exist on Tatooine have been too small to make a dent on the surface, and have never been profitable enough to inspire greater efforts to explore or excavate the planet. Tatooine, it seemed, was fated to remain a forgotten mystery, one that most people didn't care enough about to try to solve.

And despite all of this, Qui-Gon became insistent that Tatooine is where ‘it all’ began. A lifetime of digging up burial grounds, worship grounds, ancient temples, of learning about how different systems thought of life and death and the divine, and yet he thought that all of that flowed from Tatooine. Every myth, every god, every ceremony he ever uncovered, it all pointed him to a planet that, by all accounts, seemed to be as dead as the bones he used to study.

And Obi-Wan is heading straight for it. He fights off another sigh as he scans Qui-Gon’s notes, full of half-baked theories of settlements and rituals, rambles in a code that Obi-Wan is only half fluent in. He isn’t sure why this is something he needs to do. Will it make him feel better, when he arrives in a wasteland and finds nothing? Will it honour the man who cared for him for so many years? Will it make up for all the arguments and fights and months of silence that weighed them down as time went on? Hardly anyone entertained Qui-Gon’s hypotheses, Obi-Wan certainly didn’t when he was alive. What does he prove by going there, except that his father wasted his time, his life when he could have been finding fulfillment somewhere else?

And still, the ship races on, through star systems and empty space, heading to the middle of nowhere and the centre of a universe that Obi-Wan never really understood.

Obi-Wan tries to translate Qui-Gon’s thoughts into ones that he can understand. It's unforgiving work. There will be plenty of time to give himself a headache trying to do that later. Instead, he goes and checks the batteries on some of the supplies he’ll be using, goes to make sure he has all the solar panels he’ll need while he is grounded. After all, it’s not like Tatooine has a shortage of sun. All he'll have on that planet is sun, time, and the unwanted fragments of Qui-Gon's career.

—

The relief Obi-Wan feels when he finally lands on Tatooine is short-lived. After days of travelling through the endless night of space, he’s developed a perpetual nausea, a dull headache behind his eyes, and an unpleasantly greasiness to his skin. It’s almost instinctual, opening up the ramp to stumble out to the solid ground beneath his ship, to relish in the marvellous feeling of being still.

He feels the heat on his skin before he registers it. The ship shades him from the glare of the twin suns yet he swears he already feels his skin searing. The air is dry, sucking the moisture from his lips, leaving his mouth feeling gummy. He only wanted to stand on solid earth for a few minutes, but dizziness from the heat forces him to the ground, sprawled on the unforgiving rock shelf that he landed on, already feeling grains of sand working their way into his shoes.

This is the forgotten hell that Qui-Gon dreamed of for years. Obi-Wan already has half a mind to leave and venture to one of the many seedy resort planets that are scattered around the middle and outer rims.

He takes a few deep, scorching breaths and hauls himself upright, using the ramp of the ship as support. The metal is already almost too hot to touch. Shaking off lightheadedness, he staggers back into the ship, hastily closing the door behind him, trying to keep the blasted heat out for as long as possible. His ship is still pleasantly cool and feels all the colder now that he’s drenched in sweat. He takes a moment to centre himself, a task that has become all the more arduous since Qui-Gon’s death.

He must gather and check his supplies once more, preferably before his ship gets too hot. He should double-check his maps and scan his surroundings, make sure that he’s stopped in a safe location, somewhat close to one of the possible sites that Qui-Gon wrote about. Obi-Wan had no false illusions about the heat of the planet, but knowing it and feeling it are two different things. He needs to check his radiation block and ensure that he has enough bacta and ointment to soothe any burns that he is sure to get. Make sure that none of his water tanks broke or tipped over during his difficult descent and landing.

There’s so much to do and Obi-Wan is already so tired of it all. He sighs and goes to the ship's computer. He ought to coordinate his clocks with the planet, now that he’s arrived. He checks when the suns set.

Tatoo I sets in eighteen hours. Tatoo II, twenty.

Obi-Wan sighs again. Well, he thinks, I better get moving.

He stays seated for many more minutes.

—

Loaded up with gear, it feels even hotter outside. The suns are at Obi-Wan’s back, their light narrowing as they descend under the horizon, feeling like a glare from an old, angry god. He can feel his skin burning through the protective layers of clothing and UV block that he’s put on. He almost isn’t sure if it's real or just the phantom pain of burns that he’s gotten and healed over the five days that he’s been on Tatooine.

Five days on Tatooine. The thought makes his body ache. Five long, miserable days and nothing to show for it. He has less than nothing. He expected his search to come up empty, but he didn’t expect it to take so long. He only managed to find and search two of the sites that Qui-Gon wrote about, half-crazed scribbles talking about star alignment, dates and coordinates that seemed to repeat themselves everywhere he looked. On each page he searched through, he half expected Qui-Gon to start rambling about fractal and Fibonacci sequences. To make matters worse as he was flicking through one of Qui-Gon’s notebooks the night before, eyes burning, movements lethargic and clumsy, he found that a few of the pages had gotten stuck together by time and who knows what. Peeling them apart revealed more locations, more sites of interest. More work for Obi-Wan to do.

It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He takes a swig from one of his canteens, drains the last of the water it in, and reattaches it to his pack. It clinks against all the other empty bottles that he’s finished during his trek today, a cacophonous symphony to score his movements. He’s hiked up rock formations, crawled across cracking limestone bridges, and crossed a seemingly endless sea of sand. He should turn around and head back to the ship. He wants to turn around and head back to the ship.

But the thought of that terrible sun shining in his face, blinding him as he stumbles back to his bed almost sickens him. He huffs and puffs as he hauls himself up the jagged side of another rocky peak. It seems much taller than all the others he’s scaled but it could be exhaustion and irritation fooling him. He’s long stopped heading towards the spot that Qui-Gon marked on a map. Instead, he’s in search of something much more valuable: shade.

Yes, Obi-Wan thinks, as he continues to hike up the flattening incline. If he can find some shade, he can rest, maybe even take a short nap. He’ll wait until a sun has set and start making his way back to his ship. While he’s been scaling this large formation for a few hours, the mountain range rising out of and dipping below the sand like a wave, everything before was flat. He’ll be able to see the ship once he’s down, he can even send one of the small droids he stuck in his pocket to it in advance to light his way. He hasn’t seen any sign of life since he landed. The isolation, the feeling like he’s the only thing to exist in the whole galaxy, is as terrifying as it is exhilarating.

Obi-Wan keeps walking up the mountain, the curve gentle and the stone beneath his feet flat. It curves upwards and around. With each step, Obi-Wan is hopeful that shade will appear. It seems almost endless, a Tantalus torture just for him. His eyes droop as he walks and his neck becomes limp under the weight of his head.

Almost imperceptibly Obi-Wan feels a coolness against his legs. He pries his eyes open and sees a large stone jutting out of the ground to his right. It stands to his shoulders but is angled in such a way that its shadow is cast long and low against the ground. He almost collapses with his haste to crawl to it, pressing his back against it and twisting his body to fit within the comforting embrace of its darkness. Relative to everything else on the planet, its surface and the ground beneath him feel damp. He sheds his pack and lets it wobble and tremble, seeking an equilibrium on the gentle slope.

Exhaustion pulls his eyes shut again as he pants. He claws at the scarves and layers he piled on to protect against the suns, shedding them until he’s left with only his loose, long-sleeved shirt and the breathable trousers he bought just for this trip. His heartbeat pounds in his ears and his chest heaves. The heat is still intense, the rock still hard and unforgiving, but the relief of being out of the sun and no longer moving feels heavenly compared to just moments before. Obi-Wan sags under his own weight, allowing himself these brief moments of rest before he forces himself onwards. Though, now that he’s still, now that his eyes are closed, it’s questionable if he’ll ever convince his muscles to pull him up.

He doesn’t know how long he rests, his body boycotting each movement that he dictates. He’s soothed by the tempo of his breathing, the thrum of his own heart, the sound of-

Obi-Wan peels his eyes open and squints. He turns his head, looking further up the mountain. Straining, he shuts his eyes again and tries to zero in on the sound. He couldn’t possibly have heard it right, it must be some kind of auditory mirage, or perhaps-

His ears prick up as he hears it again. Faintly, further away, but clear once he hears it. Water. Running water. Water splashing against stone, pooling, echoing against itself. Now that he’s heard it, it sounds clear as day, impossible to miss or ignore.

Tatooine has been devoid of water for at least twelve thousand years, long before the birth of the Republic, long before sentients tried to explore the outer edges of the galaxy, looking for freedom and wealth and friendship.

And, yet, Obi-Wan can hear it. It calls to him, beckoning him closer, to explore and discover. Obi-Wan has never thought too highly of himself, never believed that he innately knew better or knew more than anyone else. And as much as he may doubt himself, he’s never doubted his capabilities. He trusts what he experiences, what he knows, and what he hears.

It feels like the planet’s gravity has doubled but Obi-Wan pushes and pulls until he’s standing, legs wobbly like a newborn’s. He throws the protective poncho he was wearing over himself, leaving the rest of his layers in a dusty pile. He just barely remembers to grab his pack but is too exhausted and confused to bother putting it on properly. He drags it behind him, like a petulant schoolchild, listening as the frantic scrapes along the sandy stone as he ascends.

The sound of trickling water is faint, but slowly grows in volume as Obi-Wan makes each labourous step up the mountain. He puts a hand on the rock face to stabilize himself, gasping when it feels cool to the touch, even as it sits in the sun. The path he treads starts to grow twisted, angling up and down, the rock under his hand growing more jagged and cracked.

The sky is a vibrant purple when Obi-Wan remembers to look at more than just the rocks around him. A sign that one sun has long been set and the other is following its lead. The wind picks up, blowing grit into Obi-Wan’s eyes, and he feels the first semblance of coolness in hours. In a few hours, the desert will be frigid. He should turn back, and hurry down the mountain to the safety of the ship. Continue this fool's journey tomorrow or not at all.

But the musicality of dripping water sounds so sweet. How could Obi-Wan abandon the discovery of the millennium? How could he abandon the chance of vindicating Qui-Gon? How could he reject this sweet, mysterious oasis gift in the middle of the desert?

Obi-Wan pants as he climbs. Was this mountain always so tall? At the base of it, it looked so much smaller, a quick hike up and over. He cranes his neck to look back, searching for the way he came, and finds that he doesn’t recognize the path. The sound of water is so close, almost thunderous in his ears. Trepidation weakens his legs and stomach. He edges closer to the cliff face and looks steadfastly at his dusty boots as he continues.

It sounds like he’s right next to a waterfall, white rapids crashing right next to him, and then silence. Obi-Wan looks up, confusion and fear mixing like alcohol in his stomach, leaving him just as disoriented.

He stands before a cave. The entrance is narrow, a gap between large boulders, precariously wedged against each other. It’s dark, inside. A cool breeze blows from within, smelling sweet and gentle. That’s what surprises Obi-Wan most, after spending the last few days surrounded by the musty scent of sand and the sharp tang of his own sweat. But no, it smells like a forest, like a garden after a light rainfall. It smells of a peaceful life. It smells heavenly.

Obi-Wan barely casts a glance behind him before he dips his head and squeezes into the gap in the rocks. He has to shed his backpack when the fabric of it starts to catch and snag against the walls. It’s fine, he reasons. He won’t go too far. He’ll turn around in just a moment, collect his bag, and be off again.

When he presses his hands against the rock, the surface is hard but not harsh, not jagged or sharp. Like a river stone that needs a few hundred years more before it’s ready for skipping. It feels gentle, like a salve, on his sunburnt hands. He blocks on the measly rays of sun that managed to sneak into the cave, casting a shadow where he means to walk. In a brief moment of clarity, he berates himself for not fishing the torch out of his bag before entering. Stupid!

He pauses. The shadow on the ground in front of him, long and monstrous, has grown fainter. A glance behind shows that a second shadow has emerged, trailing behind him. There’s a glow in front of him, faint, hidden behind the gentle curve of the cave wall, but there. Obi-Wan swallows and feels the hair on his neck stand on end. There seemed to be meters upon meters of solid rock above the cave when he was outside. Inside, everything feels just as solid, just as isolating. There’s no way that there could be a gap in the rocks, large enough to let so much light in that it can illuminate this cave without weakening it to the point of collapse.

It’s with a jolt of surprise that Obi-Wan realizes he’s still walking deeper, that even with the sudden mystery of the light, the sound, the smell, even as his mind grapples with it all, his body still moves against his conscious wishes. His breath stills in his lungs as he rounds a gentle curve and the soft light that only tickled him before grows into a bright beam.

Finally, Obi-Wan stills.

A vast room unfolds before him. Impossibly large and spacious compared to the cramped entryway leading to it. A small pool of water, fed by a waterfall emerging from cracks in a wall, sits next to the entrance, but its sounds are light and playful, nothing like the deafening stream Obi-Wan heard from outside. Plush moss and beautiful plants and flowers stretch across the rock floor and climb up the walls and ceiling. The brightness seems to just exist, not originating from any specific source. Glinting in the light, Obi-Wan spies golden trinkets, jewels thrown carelessly across the room, and piles of silks left in heaps.

A young man lounges on a round, gilded bed, woven sheets artfully draped around his naked body. A gilded head resting on a gilded hand. Golden eyes stare at Obi-Wan’s shocked and frozen form, pink lips twitching up into a sly, mirthful smile.

“What pretty little thing wandered into my grasp now?” The man laughs. He pushes himself up, revealing a swarth of golden skin. Obi-Wan swallows.

“Sorry,” he stutters out. “I was just- I heard- I think I’m a little lost.”

He tries to step back. The man on the bed scowls, his expression going from playful to dark faster than Obi-Wan could blink. His back hits a wall, cold stone pressing against him. He turns his head and finds that the entrance, the cave he was walking through, has disappeared. When he looks forward, the young man is inches from him. The warmth from his body feels almost scalding and his gaze is piercing, almost painful when Obi-Wan makes eye contact with him.

The man tilts his head. His hair, beautiful bronze curls, fall across his snarling face. He reaches out with his hand of shining gold and cups Obi-Wan’s chin. The metal is hard and warm, bruising against his skin. He sees the man’s lips twitch as he tilts and moves Obi-Wan’s face, eyeing him like a predator eyes cornered prey.

Obi-Wan has been in bar fights and drunken brawls. He’s no ignoramus when it comes to martial arts, having taken many classes over his life. He may not be an expert, but he’s won more fights than he’s lost. He knows the moves he should throw to get away from this strange creature and knows he should look for some way out of this strange room. But this man… he’s captivating, enthralling. Obi-Wan can’t find the strength to escape his grasp or his gaze. He stands still and pliant as he’s maneuvered, as gold and flesh hands trail across his clavicle and neck. He feels like he’s being appraised or studied, and he can’t help but blush from the attention.

“Who are you?” The man asks. His voice is raspy like he hasn’t used it for a while, but it washes over Obi-Wan like a wave. He swallows.

“My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi,” he answers. The man in front of him raises his eyebrows. “I’m a professor from Coruscant.”

“A professor?”

“A teacher,” Obi-Wan clarifies. He clears his throat. His jaw aches from the strong grip on it. “I teach anthropology. Cultures from around the galaxy.”

The man hums. “Why did you come here?”

Obi-Wan opens his mouth but can’t find the words to say for a few seconds. “I don’t know. My, well, I guess, he was my father died and he… he was obsessed with Tatooine.”

The man breaks out into a grin. It’s sharp and beautiful, a broken glass sculpture. He releases Obi-Wan, and he feels quick pulses of pain jolting from where fingers once gripped him. The man takes a step back. Obi-Wan has to fight himself to not let his eyes drift beyond his chest.

“Obsessed?” The man asked. “Devoted?”

“What? I… I guess.”

“To what? To whom?”

“He was-” Obi-Wan pauses. What was Qui-Gon obsessed with? “I could never figure it out, exactly. He… he had these ideas about Tatooine having the first people. The first… Gods.”

The smile on the man’s face seems almost splitting, manic in its excitement. It makes him look like he’s glowing. “To whom was he devoted to?”

The question seems ridiculous, insane even. Qui-Gon had only ever been devoted to himself, really, though he showed that devotion in many ways. Like taking on an adopted son. Like paying for his son’s schooling, even if he didn't fully support what he wanted to study. Ensuring a legacy that Obi-Wan could never really understand. But this stranger doesn’t need to know that and wouldn't understand even if Obi-Wan told him. Yet, Obi-Wan’s mind races, he sees flashes of Qui-Gon hunched over a desk, of maps and printouts pinned to walls, chalkboards and projectors covered in his scribbles. He sees all the scrolls and tablets and books that clutter the ship that is sitting, hot and dusty and empty, probably miles away. He sees one thing, one name, repeated throughout it all, sometimes half translated, sometimes underlined, sometimes just penned in the margins.

“An… Anakin?” Obi-Wan stutters out. The name is strange and unfamiliar on his tongue as it crawls out of his throat.

"Again," the man breathes out. "Say it again. Say my name."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan whispers, like the name is a secret like it's precious and special. Like it's a prayer he's trying to remember.

Anakin smiles and it feels like the burn of the twin suns.

[phoenixkaptain]

The prequel and original trilogies’ trio of protagonists are interesting to compare.

Like, two boys and one girl.

The girl is/was referred to by some royal title (Queen and Princess respectively) and is a major figurehead in changing the galaxy, but politically. They’re both leaders. They both fall in love with one of the guys but likes the other guy enough that the first guy mistakes their friendship for a romance. Etc, etc.

The two guys: at least one Jedi. Older and younger. Desert boy and someone from a planet we know the name of but never actually see (in the movies! I know Corellia comes up later, but we never see the planet in the movies! Just go with it!) The older is something of a mentor-type until the final movie, when desert boy has outgrown the need for a mentor.

But, there’s a problem with the idea of Luke = Anakin, Han = Obi-Wan, Leia = Padme. While the characters are similar on paper, and even resemble each other quite a bit, they don’t have the same roles. They don’t fit quite right, because they aren’t narratively the same.

(And really it’s incredibly basic and a bit convoluted to compare the characters in a 1:1 format like this, because all six of these characters are incredibly different and do different things and act differently from each other, and one could view this as diminishing the effect of one or the other, but I would argue that viewing either as a watering down or some such nonsense of the other is incredibly silly, and this is less of a “look at how the prequels steal from the original” and more of a “look at how the story rhymes, look at the matching hues, look at how the story beats are so complimentary and interesting.”

Don’t take this as criticism of either movie. This is my joy and praise and nothing more or less.)

I would present to the court that Luke = Obi-Wan, Leia = Anakin, Han = Padme. Because their roles in the narrative are functionally similar.

Luke and Han begin the story by meeting, largely due to coincidence but also because Obi-Wan told Luke they needed a pilot and Han was what they found. Luke, Han, and Obi-Wan rescue Leia from the Death Star. Obi-Wan dies to Darth Vader. His death leaves a major impact on Luke.

Obi-Wan and Padme begin the story by meeting, largely due to coincidence but also because Qui-Gon decided “Yeah, okay, I’ll help out this child queen whatevs.” Obi-Wan, Padme, and Qui-Gon manage to get Anakin off of Tatooine (functionally rescuing him from a life of slavery) Qui-Gon dies to Darth Maul. His death leavds a major impact on Obi-Wan.

Of course, writing the movies this way leaves out a lot of details and nuance, but that’s kind if sort of the point. If you look too closely at the characters then they aren’t very similar to each other beyond a base level, but if you pull back and look at the narrative as a whole, then you can see the way the chess pieces move in similar patterns. This trend continues as the movies go on, but I feel like it’s the clearest here.

Obi-Wan and Padme, alongside Obi-Wan’s mentor, “save Anakin.” (They weren’t technically asked to or anything, marking this as a big difference between the og and prequels, but the motives of the characters don’t matter as much as the actions, in this comparison.) Luke and Han, alongside Luke’s mentor, save Leia. In this comparison the parallels are 1:1 and very clear, but have the added benefit of putting Obi-Wan into Qui-Gon’s role, and I honestly believe that nothing would make Obi-Wan happier and that it’s what he deserves and-

In the remaining movies, the storybeats separate but the roles remain clear.

There are two driving forces for the story, Luke and Leia. Luke goes off and does his own thing while Leia and Han do something else. They separate near the very beginning of the story, after a chase sequence (I am being generous in calling the opening of The Empire Strikes Back “a chase sequence” because that’s really only a technicality. Technically speaking, they are being chased off of Hoth, so it technically counts. Yes I am stretching the comparison a little, but who cares?) Luke and Leia ultimately meet up after some shenanigans, but Han gets lost on the way. There’s a big fight between Luke and Darth Vader that Luke loses. Leia and Luke meet back up and everyone is kind of depressed because the whole movie was a big loss.

There are two driving forces of the story. Obi-Wan and Anakin. Obi-Wan goes off and does his own thing while Anakin and Padme do something else. They separate near the very beginning of the story, after a chase sequence. Obi-Wan and Anakin ultimately meet up after some shenanigans, but they end up losing Padme (she tumbles off the ship, it counts, shh, just go with it). There’s a big fight between Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Dooku that Anakin and Obi-Wan both lose. They think they’ve won, because they drove off the Separatists , but they did start a war, so it’s a big loss.

As I mentioned, the storybeats separate, but the roles remain fundamentally the same. Also, while very different, this is when I’ll bring up the romances. The romances in Star Wars are very important to the plot, and they follow a basic outline: Jedi x being a Jedi and older x younger powerhouse. You can see this romance clearly in both cases. Luke x being a Jedi and Han x Leia, who has obscene amounts of power within the Rebellion (and, presumably, the Force, but she doesn’t know that yet). Obi-Wan x being a Jedi and Padme x Anakin, who has obscene amounts of power in the Force. The romances don’t play out exactly the same, but they are fundamentally similar. Also: Luke 🤝 Obi-Wan - I don’t need romance I need answers!

The last movie of each trilogy is where the character roles remain debatably the closest, yet split apart. Because the conclusion is so different in either case, but… well.

The movie begins with a convoluted plan to save Han. A plan that Artoo is a big part of. The big bad of this part is Jabba the Hutt, and he is ultimately killed by Leia.

The movie begins with a convoluted plan to save Palpatine. A plan that Artoo is a big part of. The big bad of this part is Dooku, and he is ultimately killed by Anakin.

You see, the main driving forces keep their roles, but Han gets a bit confused in there. However, both have a conclusion of sorts with Leia hugging Han and Anakin hugging Padme, which is an interesting comparison.

The biggest differences go from there. Luke is more similar to Anakin than ever in these final scenes, where an ominous Sith Lord tries to bait him to the Dark Side. Leia becomes the Obi-Wan, leading troops into battle. Han and Padme are there, hanging out, doing stuff… But the stories separate majorly from here. Anakin does turn to the Dark Side, Luke refuses to. Leia wins her battle, Obi-Wan does not. Padme dies, Han lives.

However! There are still similarities to be made. Han and Anakin both think Leia and Padme is in love with someone else. This is a fair comparison of the two. They both think that “other man” is Luke / Obi-Wan. The difference, the key difference between Han and Anakin that make them impossible to compare beyond this, is that Anakin is furious and Han is just like “yeah, okay. That’s fine.”

Han and Anakin just aren’t very comparable. Leia has Anakin’s rage-filled passion, his drive to do whatever she can and his desire to stop literally everything to save the one she loves. Han and Padme are both the odd ones out of the trio. Padme isn’t a Jedi. Han isn’t a Jedi and also isn’t really all the into politics. But somehow, Han and Padme fulfill the most similar roles to each other, despite the fact that they are so different.

The roles of Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, and Anakin are very blurred here. Like they suddenly remembered “Oh shit, we said that Luke was like his dad, didn’t we?? We gotta make him more like his dad!!!” That’s why Luke’s connection to Leia is a key moment. She’s Luke’s sister. And Anakin’s connection to Obi-Wan is stated explicitly by Obi-Wan. “You were my brother.”

The lines are blurred because, just like Obi-Wan, Luke doesn’t kill the sith lord at the end. They have different reasoning, but still similar. Luke doesn’t want to turn to the Dark Side. Luke can’t kill Vader because Vader is his father and he still has hope that Vader will do the right thing. Obi-Wan doesn’t want to kill Anakin and he can’t kill Anakin because he loves Anakin and he can’t watch him die. That’s why Obi-Wan leaves. He doesn’t want to watch Anakin die, he can’t watch Anakin die.

Luke retains Obi-Wan levels of confidence (“Anakin has never let me down and never will” matches very well with Luke’s plan of: go up to Father and convince him not to kill me or give me to the Emperor) Luke is also ultimately disappointed by Anakin (Anakin does, indeed, “let Obi-Wan down.” And he does, indeed, give his son to the Emperor) But Luke retains Padme-like faith that there’s still good in Anakin. Luke fights a sith lord and defeats him, but doesn’t kill him, just like Obi-Wan. The difference is between Anakin and Leia, because Leia is still chilling in the Light Side, Anakin, suck it-

The roles are very funny to look at, especially if you ignore the main three entirely and look at the others. Old Man Obi-Wan fills Qui-Gon’s and Yoda’s roles of guiding; Qui-Gon and Yoda guided Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan guides Luke. Yoda fills his own role as “I think this is a bad idea, but nobody is listening to me, so I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

The villain roles are the funniest. The biggest bad of the series continues to be Palpatine. The guy we actually see being evil and shit is Darth Vader, who is replaced narratively with two separate Sith Lords. It take two Sith Lords to match one Darth Vader (it’s what he deserves). But, top of the third movie, Dooku and Jabba parallel each other in that they are both killed by an extremely angry Skywalker, Anakin or Leia. (Sucks to be Dooku. A Vader and Jabba stand in? Couldn’t be me)

This is a disjointed, rambly mess, but what I’m really trying to say here is that Luke is the Obi-Wan of the group. The lone Jedi exploring the galaxy and managing to stay out of trouble as long as they aren’t within ten hundred feet of Anakin/Leia. Leia is the Anakin. Responding with anger, getting into trouble, making enemies, falling in love with an older person, doing stupid stuff for the sake of that older person, and causing the most mischief when in the direct eyeline of Luke/Obi-Wan. Han is the Padme. The third party who doesn’t have much of a role in the third movie aside from damsel. Shocked to find out Luke and Leia are twins (Padme didn’t even know she was having twins, that must’ve been a moment). Doing stupid stuff with the love of their life. Wondering “why did I do that stupid stuff for the love of my life?”

[rialewrites]

actually im not quite done lol. it messes up my nice final conclusion sentences but whatever

the other thing they’re both about? is honesty with the people you care about. or maybe more accurately genuineness and its reciprocal, which is listening & paying attention. and trust.

this is maybe more obvious in eeaao, where the change from act i to act iii is more visible in this respect. in act i evelyn is bogged down by her absorption with What Must Be Done, but is Overwhelming. she’s so scattered around in all the things she has to do right now her family slips right out from under her - waymond can’t actually give her the papers, she forgets her father called for her, supporting joy as she introduces becky becomes less important than just getting through the interaction with her grandfather.

in act iii, as she’s demanded answers from the alpha crew and behaved very oddly in front of her family and the surrounding cast, she also gets answers that she didn’t ask for about her family. the ending of the movie feels much less stressful than the beginning because not only is everything in the open and there are no more secrets left to reveal, there are also no more actions left to keep back. that’s why she just kisses waymond right there in the irs. everything is beautiful and ugly and genuine.

and that moment when joy tells evelyn to let her go, to let her step back into the bagel? this is the turning point. this whole fight scene has been about whether humanity sucks or it doesn’t, and that moment is when we ask the question: can i trust you as a human being to be kind? do you love me enough to let me go - and yet to still keep trying? it’s about the inherent connection of family (of choosing) even across unimaginable distance.

in star wars, the very idea of genuineness is almost antithetical to the plot. everyone has secrets all the time. palpating has his secret plot. anakin has his secret wife. obi-wan has his secret attachments. in the sequels, all the remaining jedi just live in secret.

but our attachment to the characters comes in the moments they are most genuine. honestly i don’t think anakin would be very compelling without padme and obi-wan to bounce off of - he’s a character that needs those connections of banter and behavior to function. obi-wan’s obvious care for qui-gon, anakin, asokha, and luke is a driving force for several sections of plot. luke is such a small-town guy that the sort of galactic scheming ben and leia are accustomed to just don’t mean enough to affect his decision to just. convince vader back to the light.

if the whole disaster lineage was more honest with each other, maybe they would have been more united. maybe they wouldn’t. but like in eeaao, they never said they loved each other in words. like in eeaao, yes that caused problems. that’s just not really the way they function. but it’s about the inherent connection of your chosen family across unreachable distances. and they’re both about still reaching out.

i know this movie is old news by now but has anyone ever talked about how the themes feel very parallel to the themes in star wars. basically i have an essay about this movie waiting to happen somebody please ask me

[bitegore]

tfw you see a post that makes a point you agree with via saying things that are just flat out wrong (which obviously you do not agree with)

[phoenixyfriend]

Not Just a RomCom: CodyWan AU

This actually did start out as a vaguely normal modern AU but then we all got distracted. Set up with help from @bytebun and @catboydogma.

Single dad Obi-Wan has a pottery studio. (Technically he's parenting his siblings, but he believes he deserves the Respect of a successful single parent.)

Anakin is, as per usual, just. Being incredibly rebellious and uncooperative with Obi-Wan's attempts to be a parent. Anakin, on a rebellious streak (number eighteen of the year) decides to skip out on Obi-mandated college application hours. Yes he wants to be an engineer, but Obi-Wan's pressuring him right now, and he does not want to do what Obi-Wan wants him to do, even if the thing Obi-Wan wants him to do is meant to help Anakin do what he wants to do. Anakin uses his sudden free time to go to the mall and, seeing a pop-up stall for modeling, decides to give it a shot. He's a pretty guy, he can probably do this, right? Can't be that hard!

(You know. He's eighteen. Maybe nineteen. It's that age.)

(Also it is VERY hard.)

Enter Cody, who is not technically, in and of himself famous… but he is the top modeling agent in the country, by virtue of having sourced and negotiated all of Bly's top runway and editorial models, and the guy who is now 'discovering' Anakin Skywalker.

I feel like there's a specific energy to amputee male model Anakin Skywalker and I like it very much.

I was just. Rolling around 'people of similar ages and maturities who have vastly different life experiences, and going 'hm, this is why power/maturity differences are a way bigger issue with teens and early twenties but way less of an issue in middle-aged people.'

Obi-Wan isn't a Big Name With Big Responsibilities, but he has been more or less single-handedly raising his brother and sister. Like yeah his friends and stepsister help out sometimes, but he's been doing this mostly alone since he was twenty-five. He also runs a small business as an artist/creator, and does all the management for it (taxes, advertising, insurance) himself.

Meanwhile, Cody helped out with his own younger siblings, but he was never the primary adult in their lives, and he's got a position that works around communications and networking, and a lot of the management bits get delegated, so it's…. IDK

It's a weird balance that does work out but it feels very odd and strange to both of them at first, especially because there's a Big Difference in financial statuses and the whole 'you are my little brother's new boss, sort of.' I think they initially connect over the parenting-younger-siblings aspect of their lives.

I'm torn between "he does plates and bowls on a wheel" and "he does insane custom fantasy pieces like overly detailed dragons."

Come enjoy this completely normal romcom [take note of the dragons they will be important later]

I do know that, whichever it is, he does classes, including "Wine and wheel" nights where people come in on dates to take a pottery class while tipsy. It's like drunk painting nights.

I want Cody taking Obi-Wan out on the fanciest dates, like the kind of NYC restaurant where an entree is $200. Sometimes dinner turns into "bitching about Anakin" sessions.

Obi-Wan: I cannot help you. Cody: You raised him. Obi-Wan: Yes. But you are the one who signed a contract to keep him around. You made this bed. Lie in it.

"I inherited this can of worms. You grabbed it off the shelf, paid in full, and were then surprised that there were worms."

Side note I've decided that the head of his legal department is Padme. She and Rex (IDK what his actual job is?) are in competition to gain Anakin's affections. IDK how legal that is but Padme probably ensured it was fine before she got involved.

Alternately, Rex is a fellow model (he's using it to pay for college) and he can flirt with Anakin as much as he wants (which is usually not that much), and Padme can't.

She wants to! Anakin is flirting with her! But. Legally. She can't. (Yet.)

Padme: Until your position has been secured in such a way that I cannot influence it, I cannot date you. Anakin: 🥺

And now we get to the part where it is... not just a RomCom.

Because I was... trying VERY hard not to talk about The Last Dragon chronicles (you know, The Fire Within, etc.). And then I did. And now it's part of this AU.

Quiet subplot to the entire romance and Anakin's modeling journey is the fact that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are just making sapient dragon statues to hand out to their friends.

Obi-Wan: Okay Cody, as a symbol of my affection, here is a statue of a dragon. It's got some props that are related to your passions. It survives on your love. Cody: Aw, that's cute. Thanks. Cody, that night: [hears some small scraping noises and weird shuffling] Cody: [looks up and sees the dragon statue moving] Cody, whispering: what the fuck

HE THOUGHT HE WAS IN A ROMCOM WHAT IS THIS

Anakin is not very good at the dragonmaking. He tries, for Rex and Padme, but he's. Not very good at it, at least not compared to his siblings. Ahsoka has to go through it with him, step by step, so the dragons are Worth Giving.

They gotta be perfect.

Obi-Wan definitely makes other things as well but the Dragons are absolutely magical. (Vases and plates and whatnot are easier to sell, though.)

The one he made for Anakin (right after Qui-Gon and Shmi died) has a cyborg arm, because it just felt right. Ten years later, Anakin lost his arm in a freak accident, and everyone was like oh.

I feel like Obi-Wan's dragon might actually have a shield? Because he defines himself in large part around protecting and raising his siblings. His dragon is also less 'dragon' and more 'Boga the varactyl.'

Cody's needs to be something about connection and networking, since his whole thing in this AU is making connections and figuring out how to put people where they need to be. I'm partial to a spiderweb hanging from the end of the statue's raised tail, and also he's got a tie on.

Padme's comes with a fountain pen. Rex's has jaig eyes and feathered wings. Unrelated, I do think he's studying to be a social worker.

I'm not entirely sure what I want Ahsoka's role to be, insofar as what about her is reflected in the statue. I think I'm going to say she's a skater girl, so her dragon has a board and knee/elbow pads? Or possibly a paintbrush. IDK. Still poking her open.

A giant eastern dragon statue that watches over the house from a central location as a vestige of Great-Grandpa Yoda. It is in fact bigger than Yoda himself. It's one of those incredibly long and complicatedly coiled ones.

I think I really enjoy Anakin being just. Really bad at clay stuff compared to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. Ahsoka is happily being primed to take over the family business one day.

What Anakin does eventually turn out to be incredibly, terrifyingly good at is steampunk dragon automatons.

Like this but it's real and it moves:

(Source)

And you assume it's just like. A windup toy? And it is... when you're looking. If you look away (or it trusts you), it moves on its own. When Anakin's dragons move, everyone just assumes there's a battery or something.

Anakin's just really excited that he can continue the family tradition but like in his own way. Fuck knows he can't really do anything on his siblings' level with clay, but he can do clockwork.

It's the GG fan in me popping out, nothing is cooler than steampunk automata with minds of their own.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

do you think the jedi prohibit 'frivolous uses of the force'?? because i see it a lot in fic but i swear i distinctly remember obi-wan using the force to pull a literal chair over lmfao

Yoooo, I've been wanting to write a post about that for like a week xD Okay, so here's the thing: I started answering this one, confident that I knew where the use of the word 'frivolous' came from - but it turned out that I was wrong, so I'm actually a bit baffled about its origin. But here goes:

(@cacodaemonia I know you were interested in this topic?)

No, I don't think the Jedi prohibit that. I don't think the Jedi even have 'frivolous' use of the Force as a concept. The idea that they prohibit it, or at least frown upon it, is very likely rooted in the AotC scene of Anakin levitating a piece of fruit.

Wookieepedia cites that scene and that scene only on the topic of frivolousness in the page on Telekinesis.

But the word frivolous isn't used in that scene! Who came up with it? Obi-Wan being grumpy about Anakin levitating the fruit could mean just about anything. Maybe Jedi frown upon showing off in front of a diplomat you're meant to be protecting in a professional way. Maybe Obi-Wan and only Obi-Wan disapproves of Anakin levitating stuff because he kept doing it around the apartment as a kid, just to be a little shit. Maybe Jedi frown upon playing with your food with the Force, which wouldn't necessarily be linked with it being 'frivolous' but just with 'don't be gross.'

Now I thought it came from the novelization using that specific word, but it doesn't! The novelization is based on the original script as opposed to the dialogue in the movie (it actually came out before the movie, so that's why) and the scene is longer in them both and seems to confirm what I said about how it could mean a lot of other things (because he isn't just levitating it originally, he's playing with it):

(novelization)

PADME: You did that? [ANAKIN looks up - wide-eyed innocence.] ANAKIN: What? [PADME scowls at him. PADME jabs at the fruit - ANAKIN subtly moves his hand and it lifts up from the plate and hovers in front of her.] PADME: That! Now stop it! [PADME laughs. ANAKIN laughs. She reaches out for the fruit - it loops.] PADME (continuing): Anakin!! [ANAKIN moves his fingers. The fruit flies into his hand.] ANAKIN: I'm not really supposed to do that... for fun, I mean. If Master Obi-Wan were here, he'd be very grumpy. [ANAKIN is pleased. He cuts the fruint (sic) into several pieces and sends one back to PADME. She bites it out of the air and laughs.]

(script)

Even taking Anakin at face value, this does not say there is an Order-wide ban on 'frivolous' uses of the Force. Again, maybe Force-assisted food shenanigans are frowned upon. Maybe Anakin isn't supposed to mess with people with the Force for fun. Maybe it's just Anakin assuming, as he sometimes does.

I think 'frivolous' might come from one of the EU books - it's not from No Prisoners (the Karen Travis TCW book) though, so I have no idea who might have used it in that context first??

Anyway, the issue in fic is that 'frivolous' is often confused with 'casual.' Hence the Obi-Wan thing imo.

One, 'frivolous' is judgy - it gives it a sense of sin, something that the Jedi... don't seem to have that much of a concept of? Dressing 'immodestly' isn't condemned, for example. I don't see the Order as a whole (there are sticks in the mud everywhere) having a thing against a concept as vague as 'frivolousness.' I mean... Yoda? His whole idea of fun is to mess with people and cackle, and his teaching methods include massive trolling, teasing the grown-up Masters with his gaggle of kiddos and whatnot. You cannot tell me Yoda never tugged on somebody's cloak to make them trip.

Two, frivolous and casual aren't the same thing. Obi-Wan pulling the chair falls into the casual use category imo - and yes, we do see him and others do this kind of casual stuff many times! (Off the top of my head: Obi-Wan grabs the map-ball thingy from the map-reader in AotC - in front of younglings, so there's no fear of a bad example being set - Yoda calls his stick to his hand in AotC, Obi-Wan pulls a chair in TCW s2, Jedi call their lightsabers to them all the time - though it's usually in combat settings, so it doesn't necessarily count, Obi-Wan closes a door in AotC - I think Ewan was the one who thought it'd be neat to do it? Idk...)

And I don't agree that "it goes to show their hypocrisy" or whatever. What, because we assume that's what Anakin meant in the AotC scene and because we assume it's 100% an Order-wide thing, and we assume that the Jedi would view using the Force for daily tasks as frivolous, then every single instance of Jedi using the Force for simple every day stuff is hypocritical?! Even though floating freaking fruit around somebody's head and pulling up a chair are absolutely not the same thing? The latter is something you would do no matter whether you use the Force or not - pulling a chair is a normal thing to do. Playing with fruit around someone is a rude thing to do. There's a difference whether or not 'frivolous' stuff is frowned upon.

And also, using the Force is a natural thing. The Jedi do it like they breathe - it's all around them and they're aware of it constantly, and it's not always something they can turn on or off. It's natural that they would use it for daily stuff, and the level of respect that comes attached with using it would necessarily vary from one Jedi to the other. Just look at Quinlan. What, jumping out of a gunship to make an entrance isn't frivolous? Well, Quinlan is a Master, so his views on it are just as valid - just as Jedi - as anybody else's. (Plus Obi-Wan - the Council Member - gives him grief for being late, not for just for being ridiculous, so again - rudeness.)

I can see some Masters being against using the Force with carelessness - and yeah, I can also see some Masters being against using it in a 'fun' way - because you have to be careful with that stuff, but it probably would generate debate. There wouldn't be a definite consensus on what is too much and what isn't.

If "the Jedi all frown upon casually using the Force" is something that Lucas intended to convey in the movie, please correct me and give me a source.

Though it is also entirely possible that Obi-Wan was meant to be a bit hypocritical about it - because he and Anakin have their tensions, and as somewhat of a parental figure it's only natural that he would scold Anakin for stuff that isn't that big of deal, or that he himself has done, because that's what every person who's ever been in charge of a younger person has done at some point. So sure, maybe Obi-Wan scolded Anakin for being too casual with the Force? But I still don't see it as a Big Rule that is in the Jedi Code That Must Not Be Violated and that get you Shamed and Shunned if you dare to have fun with the Force.

(Honestly, it reminds me of 'your Lightsaber is your Life' thing, and Ahsoka and Anakin both separately whining that their Master was going to kill them for losing/breaking theirs. There's a certain level or respect and care expected, the Masters (or... only Obi-Wan and Anakin, lol) nag a bit, aren't always careful enough themselves, the kids make a big deal out of it in front of other people, but ultimately there are zero repercussion whatsoever for actually failing to follow the Master's nagging. Like, Jocasta tells Ahsoka Anakin would totally understand, and it's Ahsoka who insists he wouldn't and makes it into a big thing.)

Again, having Masters tell their students to be respectful of the Force and not to treat it like a joke? Sure. Showing off with the Force in a rude manner being called 'frivolous,' and it being a bad thing? I could see it. Having Masters get pissy about pulling chairs, closing doors or whatever - about doing things you can do with your hands with the Force instead? Maybe, but it wouldn't be an Order-wide thing.

One thing's for certain, we never see a Master directly scolding a student for using the Force casually in the Prequels, the OT or TCW, much less calling it 'frivolous.'

So yeah, gimme Jedi levitating stuff to clean up under the furniture xD

[bonaesperanza]

I think that we actually agree but that we have a different idea of what constitutes "politics". I guess I was kind of led away by your mentioning "fascism" versus Anakin being headcanoned as "left wing" and kind of inserted my own definitions there without understanding that you may mean different things by them.

I think that, on the classical 2-dimension political compass, Anakin is 100% authoritarian, and I've said as much in my previous post. I think that's a deeply ingrained part of his personality that's unlikely to ever go away, because you just can't convince a guy who was considered property and kept in line via a bomb in his chest until the age of 9 that hardcore violence isn't an efficient way of ensuring obedience to state authority. And I think that's actually fascinating to explore, because I headcanon him being exposed to all this Jedi philosophy, that's literally the opposite of authoritarianism, and just having it slide off of him without getting any kind of grip because his starting point is just so different from that of the Jedi that he has no way of grasping what they're trying to say. And again, I think this is a really really cool thing to explore (as you can tell by my having written two long-ass replies about it), and I think it's also relevant to the real world because this is exactly how real life disenfranchised people get radicalized.

But I really struggled to see how "Anakin has always had authoritarian tendencies" is something that people aren't discussing? Like I've read at least five posts this month from five different people discussing Anakin's authoritarian tendencies - that's a well-accepted thing among most Anakin enjoyers who aren't just thirsting after him (perhaps I am just really selective in what parts of fandom I engage with lol). So I just assumed that you didn't mean that by your post and you meant actual fascism.

Because authoritarianism doesn't necessarily mean fascism - there's such a thing as left-wing authoritarianism too. The fact that Anakin supports authoritarianism doesn't necessarily make him fascist. Hitler was a dictator, but so was Stalin. Fascism has additional elements, such as the cult of tradition and the rejection of modernism, a fear of difference, a fixation on secret conspiracies, a preoccupation with policing other people's lives to fight various kinds of "degeneracies", a limited populism that appeals to the middle class and its feeling threatened by economic hardship and social change, etc.

The authoritarian vs. libertarian dimension is about how the state's values should be enforced - and Anakin would promptly respond "through coercion, violence and obedience to authority" (and note that most of his conflicts with Obi-Wan, Padmé, etc. are because he thinks this). But left vs. right is about what those values should be, and I haven't ever seen Anakin meaningfully engage with this kind of question (though if he does in some additional material I haven't consumed, I stand corrected). Because while I think that, "violence is the only thing that works and the only way to make yourself respected" is a deeply ingrained part of Anakin's worldview (I think he quite literally doesn't even see this as a political position that he is actively choosing over less authoritarian ones, I think for him this is just how the world is), I don't think Anakin has many thoughts about how the average denizen of the galaxy should live and what the economic system should be and whether there is such a thing as "degeneracy" etc. etc. In fact, aside from the authoritarianism, he seems to be aligned with whatever the people closest to him think in any given moment (because he respects them and their opinion) unless it's something that has personal meaning to him (slavery), because he comes off as someone who sees broader political issues as quite abstract.

Yes, Palpatine manipulates him by confirming his existing opinions - his pro-authoritarian opinions that Obi-Wan doesn't agree with (and also by preying on his personal insecurities). If some kind of tankie or similar left-wing authoritarian used Palpatine's exact same tactics to manipulate Anakin, I think Anakin would agree with him too. And then Anakin would be left-wing. A left-wing authoritarian. This is what I wanted to say when I said that Anakin's left vs. right alignment isn't really a worthwhile topic of discussion - if left to his own devices, I don't think he'd care for it much.

I also think when a lot of people headcanon him as left-wing this is what they mean - I can easily see him as a kind of Robespierre figure (or perhaps the figure of Robespierre's right hand man) who falls in love with the logic of the guillotine and just goes on a bloody rampage. I think that a lot of people who headcanon him as left-wing agree with the logic of the guillotine and see no contradiction in this the way you seem to.

The fact that in the movies he ends up endorsing the fascists isn't because there's much inside him that aligns with fascism specifically from what I can tell - it's the authoritarianism that's the key (for me). He could have easily ended up endorsing any other kind of authoritarian ideology. And actually this is also the case for a lot of the radicalized people IRL as well.

For me a person whose fascist politics would be worth analyzing as explicitly fascist would be the kind of person who aligns with the Empire because they hold fascist views - rejection of modernity, veneration of tradition, fighting degeneracy, the populism, the conspiracies, the schizophrenic view of the enemy, etc. etc. If the Empire suddenly decided that aliens should be 100% equal to humans, this kind of person would feel disappointed in the Empire and support it less. I think that Anakin would not give a single fuck about whether the Empire was prejudiced against aliens or not as long as it remained authoritarian.

I think this is why people aren't much discussing Anakin being left or right wing - it's almost incidental. It's not why he falls. It's not why he's with the Empire. It's the authoritarianism that's his defining quality and people are very much discussing that from where I'm standing.

tbh i feel like a lot of sw takes and mainstream opinions on it straight up dont mention the fascism at all? like either im just hearing braindead incel take after braindead incel take or ppl rlly dont engage a lot w that part of canon

[nevertheless-moving]

Could you talk more about your gumbo jar jar au or the frog one? 🐸

hm on close review the frog promise draft is a now redundant drabble from this au. Here it is in its entirety:

“I will never join you,” Luke said with a sneer of disgust.

Palpatine, as well as the nearby politicians, Jedi masters, and reporters were taken aback. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand your meaning, Master Jedi,” the Senator said incredulously. “Do you mean to tell me that you consider yourself separate from the Republic? I know the Jedi Council had disavowed recognizing you but I never could have imagined...” he trailed off, leaving the crowd to murmur in alarm.

“I mean I will never join the Sith,” the rogue master replied calmly. “I imagine you’re responsible for the traces of the dark side I felt amongst the trade federation leaders.”

“The Sith...I see.” Palpatine took a step back, deliberately reassuring tone and alarmed expression clearly indicated that he suspected the man before him of insanity. “It’s been a very long day and you clearly intended to do good by my humble home world. Perhaps your fellow Jedi can take you to the healers so you can-”

“Why are you working alongside a Sith Lord?” Luke cut off the Senator and addressed Grandmaster Yoda directly. 

“A Sith Lord, you say?” Master Yoda replied. “A most serious allegation, this is.”

Basically, Luke derails the Naboo Crisis by absolutely annihilating the trade federation army, only realizing after the fact when and where he is. This means that Padme turns right around from Tatooine and never voices her vote of no-confidence. Now, Palpatine probably had contingency plans in place, but the public accusation by a Jedi of being responsible for the crisis in the first place, despite absolutely no evidence, hurts his image enough that he’s not going to win a vote, because people will think it’s a power grab. 

And it’s funny cause it’s true but Luke only barely knows that! He’s just accusing Palpatine of being behind the first evil thing he sees and he fuckin happens to be right!!!

Anyway Luke doesn’t focus on Palpatine; there are like 10,000 other Jedi around. He commits himself first and foremost to completing his training with Master Yoda because sometime Yoda just dies and fades into thin air so, you know! He’s not going to procrastinate on that again!

He goes before the council and humbly asks to be taken on Yoda’s student (this is right before Qui-Gon can ask about Anakin- literally, Anakin and Qui-Gon are in the waiting room). He gives several extremely vague banthashit explanations of who he is ‘I’m a follower of the Force,’ where he comes from ‘the Force sent me,’ and why they should train him when he’s way too old ‘the Force willed it.’ Yoda is somewhat impressed because those are some real unhelpfully wise answers and- here’s the kicker- Luke actually believes them! 

He is really committed to being a Jedi! Is 110% all about being a luminous being! This is several years after return of the Jedi and Luke has pretty much just been hanging out in force temples meditating with ghosts so he has quintessential Jedi vibes, he just knows jackshit about anything!

What really clinches it for Yoda is the fact that his robe pocket starts squirming and he pulls out a live Nabooian Salt Frog. And hands it to Yoda like, “These are one of your favorites right? :) I saw it and I thought of you :)”

Now Yoda- let’s step back a second. Yoda is old. Yoda, in his youth, was a bit more feral. He’s a top level predator and the order has always celebrated diversity and being true to your origins! He’s hunted with Tortugans on Shili! He’s unhinged his jaw with Besalisks on Ojom! 

But as the Republic’s boundaries caved in on themselves, he was more and more put into contact with Core senators who tend to be unnerved by more, ah, carnivorous tendencies. And the more he was put into high level positions by virtue of being really frickin old, the more restrained he became in his public behavior. 

Decades passed and younglings who only ever knew his more ‘harmless-prank’ feral tendencies were increasingly shocked and scared to see him occasionally unhinge his jaw to eat a scrocodile whole. Some of the prey-origin younglings from that field trip actually avoided him for the rest of the their lives.

So. Yoda is still a carnivore- but- in private. With his padawans and his closest peers. But his closest peers age and die and his padawans get younger and smaller as the decades pass. He took on two herbivorous padawans in a row and as a result restrained himself from openly hunting with another soul for around for 50 years.

And then there’s Dooku. ‘Ah a human,’ he thinks. ‘They hunt sometimes. Well. They’re omnivores at least.’

And Dooku is- and I’m not saying this to shame Dooku- but he’s prissy. He likes...neatness. He’s not afraid of violence but force forbid it’s untidy. So when Yoda, excited to get his ambush predation on, takes 14 year old Dooku who’s barely ever left the sterile confines of Coruscant on a trip to a swamp world- yeaaahh it doesn’t go well. Dooku- he doesn’t mean to, honestly. How would he even know that Yoda might be sensitive about things? He’s Yoda. 

But Dooku sobbing openly and puking a little in a bush and running away from Yoda because his Master is terrifying and gross. It... kind of puts the nail in the coffin for Yoda being open about that side of himself. He doesn’t really have it in him to try again. People’s view of him is too fixed, they can’t handle him also being a flesh creature so he focuses on the luminous side of him which is and always was, genuinely, more important than him.

And that’s been the last 100 years or so. The thrill of a live kill is just a little piece of himself that he meditates away and that’s ok. He has the force. He has the order. He’s old anyway, a real hunt would probably hurt his joints. 

And then in comes Luke, radiating Light and earnestness and Jedi serenity while also holding out a very tasty looking live frog. And Yoda realizes Dooku’s not around, he’s surrounded by a council he trusts and respects and likes, none of whom are 14 year olds, all of whom have seen the galaxy and seen worse. He is almost seizing the moment but there’s a little part of him that shriveled up when Dooku cried that’s having a hard time accepting this.

“Want it for yourself, you do not?” Yoda cackles, playing off the offer.

Luke smiles sheepishly and pulls out another live frog. “I was saving it for later. Forgive me Master, your senses are keen as ever I see.”

And Yoda...it’s not about the bribe, really, so much as the symbolism, and it’s not about the flattery either, but darn is the kid really pulling out the stops to make himself likable. And he is a kid, to Yoda anyway. Everyone is these days. What does he care about numbers when there’s a boy smiling like his third padawan, an adorable Rodian who took great delight in their more amphibious and wild missions?

Yoda snatches one of the frogs and slowly raises it in a parody of a toast. Luke does the same. The rest of the council quietly watches in various shades of bewilderment and bemusement.

They’re not actually going to eat that right? Mace thinks. Ugh I hate frogs the skin is so slimy. Shaak Ti thinks. I cannot believe they’re not even offering me one. Yaddle thinks.

And Yoda bites the head off the frog in a quick snap of his jaws, the rest following rapidly. Luke does the same- a slight assist from the force helping his less specialized mandible tear through skin and bone in a well practiced move. He chews slower, but finishes the frog soon enough, the rest of the council looking on with deep uncertainty and a tiny bit of hunger, but no actual fear. They’re Jedi Masters; they’ve eaten everywhere, it’s just a little weird for a human to be eating a live animal and Yoda as far as anyone knew only ate stew and also they were in the middle of a council meeting.

Yoda belches and Luke smiles genially.

“Take you on as my padawan learner, I will. Much to learn you have, much to teach you, I do.”

Luke beams. The council looks on in shock. 

“Master Yoda,” Mace Windu says hesitantly, “He’s clearly in his late 20s, at the earliest. If this is about the... frog thing-”

“Was a pleasant surprise, the frog. The reason for my decision, it is not. Had some training already, he has. Know each other before this day, we do. Taking over for a Master passed into the force, I am merely. Our custom, this is.”

Luke bows lowly and an initiate is summoned to escort him to the quartermasters and then the long-empty padawan suite next to Yoda’s chambers. 

Qui-Gon and Anakin are brought in and. Well. It’s a little hard for them to simply reject the boy after Yoda just pulled that stunt. He’s sent to the initiates dorm, eventually. Mace Windu has a headache from the shatterpoints blinking in and out of existence. Shaak Ti is delighted to discuss a hunting trip with Master Yoda and his new padawan learner Luke Svader. 

The force dances.

[arrantsnowdrop]

To be a Jedi - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Request: “anakin/female!reader getting together fic that involves reader crying because she’s feeling self-conscious about her appearance and feeling worthless and anakin comforting her and calming her down and then accidentally confessing to her?”

Tags: @lothloriien​

Warnings: self-deprecation, insecurities, etc. (~2,500 words)

~~~~~

Being a Jedi really sucked sometimes.

Not all the time. In fact, you normally enjoyed the fast-paced, demanding lifestyle you led. Even as a youngling you had taken pride in the ritual and responsibility of being a Jedi, and now, as a Padawan on the verge of facing the Jedi trials, you were more confident than ever that the Force had led you down the right path.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t have bad days every once in a while.

Your Master had been called away on some highly classified mission in the Naboo system, so you’d been spending the week at the Jedi Temple working on some independent research and participating in training sessions with the other senior Padawans. Unfortunately, they were focusing on lightsaber combat this week - something you were definitely not as skilled at considering your specialization in negotiation and communications.

It wasn’t that you were unathletic - you were training to be a Jedi for crying out loud - but it was hard not to feel a little self-conscious about how much you were struggling with the training exercises, especially when your assigned training partner was none other than Anakin Skywalker.

It was just past midday - you’d been training for hours already and still had a few to go. The sun was blaring down on the courtyard where you and the other Padawans were sparring under Obi-Wan’s supervision.

You panted heavily, eyeing Anakin as the two of you circled each other slowly. There was no question as to which one of you would launch the next parry - Anakin had taken the offensive right out of the gate - so all you could do was try to catch your breath and prepare yourself for his next attack.

His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, a few beads of sweat dripping down his forehead and some of his hair sticking to his face. His eyes were following your every move, tracking you like you were some kind of prey.

You hated this.

Suddenly, Anakin lunged forward, blue lightsaber whirring loudly as he swung it towards you. You groaned, lifting your own lightsaber up at the last possible moment to deflect him.

“Such a slow reaction time,” Anakin teased, grinning as he stepped back to give himself a wider range of motion.

“I thought it would take you longer to catch your breath,” you replied, voice strained as you blocked another one of his strikes.

You’d been friends with Anakin since Obi-Wan took him as a Padawan years ago, offering to help him as he played “catch up” with the rest of you. The fact he’d become such a strong Force-user despite starting so late was something you deeply respected him for, though you were perfectly content simply watching him display these skills.

Being on the receiving end of a lightsaber attack from Anakin Skywalker was not something you would consider enjoyable. You’d spent the whole morning dodging and jumping and somehow still losing every match. 

You flinched as Anakin’s lightsaber hit your torso, the sting of the “training mode” setting hurting far less than the sting of your own pride.

“Seven to one,” Obi-Wan called from where he was watching. You groaned, rubbing your temples with your free hand and turning your lightsaber off.

“Hey, you were definitely doing better than time,” Anakin said reassuringly, sensing your frustration. “Improvement is all Obi-Wan is looking for.”

“Improvement doesn’t take away from the fact I’ve lost seven matches today,” you seethed, bending down to re-tie the laces of your boots.

“Perhaps if you worked out a bit more you wouldn’t lose so often,” one of the other Padawans jested. Your head snapped up, face flushing as you sent them a pointed glare.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked curtly, watching them look between you and Anakin uncomfortably.

“It’s just-”

They didn’t get a chance to finish, letting out a small shriek as they dodged a rock flying through the air. You turned around to look at Anakin, his slightly raised hand indicating who’d been responsible for the rock. At least he was using his Force capabilities in your favor now.

“Thanks,” you muttered, reigniting your lightsaber, glancing at the clock above where Obi-Wan was sitting. All you wanted was for training to be over so you could retreat to your room.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Anakin said, a somewhat angry look on his face as he took a fighting stance across from you. “You’re perfectly capable of wielding a lightsaber, and you’d definitely beat them if you’d been paired up.”

“Hopefully,” you corrected him, “hopefully I’d beat them.”

“Definitely,” Anakin insisted, you rolling your eyes as you lifted your lightsaber in front of you.

----

What sucked about getting older was how little you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin. Your Master was responsible for conducting multiple research projects for the Jedi Council off-world, and Obi-Wan and Anakin hardly ever stayed on Coruscant for longer than a few days, so it was unlikely that you’d find yourselves in the same place for a decent amount of time anymore.

Normally, you would’ve used this week as a great opportunity to catch up with one of your oldest friends. This damn lightsaber training was getting in the way.

It had been yet another long day of sweating the equivalent of your own bodyweight and paling in comparison to Anakin’s abilities. Obi-Wan had focused on lightsaber combat in precarious and compromising situations, with one of which resulting in you falling off a two story rock wall.

As you stood in front of the mirror in your room you couldn’t overlook the spattering of bruises covering your torso and arms, all varying hues of blue and purple culminating from the last few days. You sighed, grateful you were getting the extra training you so clearly needed and nervous about what that meant. Imagine you’d been confronted by some Sith fanatic in the last few weeks - who knows how long you would’ve lasted?

Perhaps you were overthinking. You did have an extremely over-skilled training partner who made most other Jedi look incompetent with a lightsaber.

That being said, you still couldn’t shake what that other Padawan had said about you yesterday. Had you really become unathletic? You didn’t think you’d ever really neglected your daily training exercises, but perhaps those weren’t enough.

You sat down on the edge of your bed slowly, shoulder slumped. Maybe you weren’t as capable as you thought. The bruises all over you and lack of any actual visible muscle certainly pointed towards that.

----

The next morning, you skipped breakfast, giving Obi-Wan some offhanded explanation as to why you’d be missing training and heading for the library. You weren’t really skipping for no reason, your Master had given you a list of different research topics for you to look up in the Jedi Archives. Did you really need the extra time to get this done? No, but it still gave you a good excuse to avoid the feeling of physical incapability that accompanied your training sessions.

Plus, you didn’t want to slow the entire group down. Tears pricked at your eyes as you remembered yesterday when Obi-Wan made you repeat some dumb exercise on a floating raft over and over again, even though everyone else had already done it to his satisfaction. It was humiliating.

At least here in the library, surrounded by stacks of holograms and books, you were in your element. Here you didn’t have to move fast or chop anyone’s limb off out of self-defense.

It was sometime in the late afternoon when Anakin stormed into the library, loud footsteps immediately shushed by a swarm of librarians. You couldn’t help but grin softly, eyes meeting his as he marched over to you much more quietly.

“Even the great Anakin Skywalker is no match for an angry librarian,” you teased, him scoffing as he plopped down in a chair next to you.

“And where were you today?” Anakin asked, a strange intensity behind his question. You gulped, gesturing to the pile of transcripts and notes in front of you.

“I was right here,” you replied meekly.

“Since this morning?” he asked, eyes widening in surprise. You nodded.

“What the heck, Y/N,” he groaned, leaning back in his chair. “Obi-Wan assigned me a different partner. Do you know how irritating every other Padawan is to train with?”

“No, I’ve only ever trained with you,” you said bluntly.

“Exactly!” Anakin responded a little too loudly, earning him a dramatic shush from the circulation desk.

“Shut up,” you chuckled, slapping his chest lightly. He rolled his eyes.

“What I mean is that I’ve only ever trained with you, too, so everyone else doesn’t live up to my expectations.”

“What expectations?” you asked quizzically, flipping one of your notebooks closed.

“Working hard but still having a good time,” he answered, waving his hand nonchalantly. “You never sacrifice good banter for anything, I value that.”

“Ah, I’m glad to know you only value me as a training partner for my humor,” you retorted dryly, gathering all your belongings into a pile and standing up. Anakin’s brows furrowed as he looked up at you, a confused look painted across his face.

“Hey, what?” he asked, standing up with you. “What happened?”

“Nothing, just makes sense that you only enjoy my conversation, not anything actually training-related.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, completely dumbfounded as you started walking away.

“See you tomorrow, Anakin,” you replied, refusing to shed any more tears until you reached your room.

----

The next morning you were too unmotivated to let Obi-Wan know you weren’t coming, deciding instead to stay in bed and do absolutely nothing. Well, you were reading, but what did that really matter to a Jedi? You were supposed to be able to do backflips through the air and take on five enemies at once, and yet here you were wrapped in two blankets feeling like absolute shit. Some Jedi you were.

You held your breath as someone began knocking furiously on the door, hoping desperately they would think you weren’t home.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there,” Anakin called. You groaned, turning around and smashing your face into the pillow.

“Y/N!” he called again.

“Don’t come in!” you shouted back, voice muffled through the pillow.

“I’m coming in.”

“Don’t-”

You never got the chance to finish, bolting upright in bed as the door flew open, Anakin stalking in. You rolled your eyes, just thankful he had kept the door on its hinges.

“What is wrong with you?” he demanded, cringing as you recoiled slightly at his harsh words.

“What do you mean?” you replied quietly, his face softening as he took a seat on the edge of your bed.

“I meant what’s wrong, not what’s wrong with you,” Anakin corrected, taking your hand in his own.

“Nothing’s wr-”

“Don’t give me that,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t even try, I know you better than anyone Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You kept quiet, focusing on the way his thumb was rubbing small circles on the back of your hand.

“You’ve been acting off since we started training together, is it something I did?” he tried again, genuinely concerned. You laughed dryly and shook your head.

“No, Anakin, you didn’t do anything,” you replied truthfully, looking at him. “You’re perfect, I promise you did nothing wrong.” He gave you a small smile, looking down to where he was still holding your hand. He didn’t let go, only gripped you a little tighter, urging you to continue. You bit your lip, debating whether or not to tell him.

“Do you remember when that Padawan told me I needed to exercise more?” you asked finally. His head snapped up, eyes meeting yours.

“I knew it,” he murmured, nostrils flaring as he tried (and failed) to conceal his budding anger. “I knew it.”

“Anakin it’s ok,” you said, reaching out and rubbing his forearm, his gaze following your hand. “I mean, they were right, if I-”

“No,” Anakin said. “No, they weren’t right. They have no idea how strong you are, how capable-”

“Anakin I’ve struggled this entire week,” you blurted, eyes stinging and face heating up. “I pale in comparison to you, and the other Padawans, at least physically. I thought whatever training I’d been doing had been enough but clearly it wasn’t, so they’re right. I need to exercise more, I need to train more, I’m incapable of defending myself with a lightsaber and I don’t even look like a proper Jedi.” You thrust your bruised arms out towards him. “Look at these, you don’t have them, no one else does. I’m the only one who struggles with every exercise and test.”

You realized you’d begun to cry, tears rolling down your face and breaths shallow.

“Y/N,” Anakin murmured, hurt in his eyes as he took your arms gingerly in his hands. “Y/N, no.”

Your eyes widened as Anakin bent over, slowly pressing his mouth to each bruise on your forearms. You gulped, feeling a little dizzy as Anakin glanced up at you. “You’re an amazing Jedi,” he started, sitting back up straight and pulling you closer to him. You tried to pull away, not wanting to stain his robes with your tears, but he held you firmly. “You’re already stronger than half the people in that group, I’ll have Obi-Wan reassign you so you can kick someone’s ass and everyone will realize it.”

“Anakin-”

He shushed you, resting his chin on the top of your head. You closed your eyes, reveling in the warmth of his body against yours.

“There’s more to being a Jedi than using a lightsaber, anyways,” he continued. “You’re the only person our age in this whole temple that can negotiate with warlords and thieves and murderers and still come back unscathed with five new friends.”

You chuckled, biting your lip as he pressed a kiss against your hair.

“You’re perfect, Y/N,” he insisted softly, you shifting in his arms to gaze up at him.

You were surprised by how nervous he looked, as if he didn’t know how you’d react to what he’d just said, what he’d just implied. You just smiled softly, leaning up to press a slow kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Anakin,” you mumbled against his face, grinning as you felt him smile.

Suddenly he pushed himself up, forcing you down onto the bed and collapsing on top of you. You shrieked, bursting into a fit of giggles as he began nestling himself in your hair.

“Shouldn’t you still be at training?” you asked, a wide smile on your face.

“I was sent here by Obi-Wan to fetch you,” he replied smugly.

“So shouldn’t we both be getting back then?”

He propped himself up on his elbows, gazing down at you with a cocky smile on his face.

“I never told him when I’d be coming back.”

You decided you could afford to skip training another day - Anakin probably needed the rest anyways - and pulled his face down to meet your own.

[stolen-pen-name23]

“it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.” with Obi-wan?

Hello again, my friend!! Thanks you for the prompt!! This onee kinda got away from me so I posted it on Ao3, but you can read the whole thing under the cut too!

Read on Ao3

Anakin didn’t really know this Obi-Wan person all that well yet, but he could tell there was something wrong with him. Well, something wrong besides the quiet mourning he was clearly trying to keep hidden. He wasn’t all that successful, but Anakin wasn’t going to call him out on it.

Of course, Anakin was sad too. As if it wasn’t enough that his mother could not come with him, the man who had finally managed to free him was dead.

But Anakin knew that Obi-Wan was feeling the loss more acutely. Anakin could sense that Obi-Wan had held great respect, admiration and love for his late Master. He could also sense his grief, even if he was skilled at hiding it behind walls.

That didn’t matter right now. What mattered was the way Obi-Wan was pale and shaking slightly underneath all of his robes. He was sitting hunched forward on the little couch in their quarters, his elbows on his knees. His gaze was unfocused, and as far as Anakin could tell, he hadn’t eaten anything recently either.

“Mr. Kenobi sir?” Anakin said shyly.

Slowly, Obi-Wan’s gaze turned to Anakin. He looked like he was trying to focus his eyes. “I told you that you can just call me Master or Obi-Wan if you prefer,” he said softly.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin corrected. “Are you alright?”

Obi-Wan nodded the affirmative, but Anakin wasn’t convinced.

“You’re not looking so good.”

“I’m fine, Anakin.”

“Do you want me to get you something to eat?” Anakin actually had no idea how he would acquire food for Obi-Wan. He didn’t know where anything was, and even if he did, he didn’t know how to cook anything. But if Obi-Wan wanted something, Anakin would do his best to get it for him.

“No, I’m fine. Not really hungry.”

Anakin frowned. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Obi-Wan nodded sullenly. “I’m sure. I’m going to go to bed though. I know it’s early for you. You can stay out here and watch the holo if you want, I guess. Just… Don’t wander alone in the halls yet. I don’t want you to get lost.”

Anakin didn’t want to get lost either. The temple was huge and this morning when Obi-Wan had given him the tour, the other padawans stared at him. Even some of the knights and masters stared at him. No, he had no desire to leave the safety of their quarters just yet.

Anakin couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. This was officially his first night in the temple. They had arrived from Naboo this morning and they had gotten situated in the small apartment. He’d hoped Obi-Wan would have wanted to spend a little more time with him, getting to know him and all that.

“Okay, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said quietly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Padawan,” Obi-Wan said, but the look on his face indicated the word felt weird on his lips. He shook his head. “Good night, Anakin.”

Anakin nodded at him as he took his leave.

Anakin sighed and flipped on the holo. He’d never had a holo before, but he quickly figured out how to work it. He stared at the moving images in wonderment, flipping through channel after channel, never settling on one thing – just content to watch the moving images.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he heard shuffling from the hallway behind him. He turned around and saw Obi-Wan stumbling towards the fresher. Anakin flicked off the holo and raced after Obi-Wan.

When he got to the fresher, Obi-Wan was already there, leaning heavily over the toilet and heaving into it.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin asked nervously. “Are you okay?”

Anakin cringed. Of course he wasn’t okay. It was a dumb question, though it didn’t seem to matter. Obi-Wan couldn’t answer him at the moment anyway.

Anakin tried to remember everything that his mother had ever done for him when he was sick. He remembered his mom rubbing his back. Slowly, Anakin approached Obi-Wan and laid a gentle hand on his back.

Obi-Wan yelped and jumped sideways as far as he could in his weakened state. Anakin yanked his hand back in alarm.

“What—”

Obi-Wan was breathing heavily and his eyes were squeezed shut.

“What’s wrong?” Anakin asked, his voice coming out smaller and squeakier than he would like.

“It’s nothing, it’s just a bruise,” Obi-Wan said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“A bruise?”

“On my back,” Obi-Wan panted.

Anakin took a step closer to him. “Can I look?”

Obi-Wan looked a little unsure. “Yes,” he finally said.

With careful fingers, Anakin slowly lifted up Obi-Wan’s shirt. He gasped at the dark purple bruising all over his back. His stomach sank. He immediately turned and looked at the contents of the toilet and then back at Obi-Wan. It was only then that he realized there was blood on his lips and his chin.

“Obi-Wan, you need a healer,” Anakin said, panic rising in his voice. “You… you’re throwing up blood that’s not… when the slaves would get beaten too hard they…”

“Shhh, Anakin, it’s alright.”

“No!” Anakin shouted. “No, you’re… you’re dying and I—”

“I’m not dying,” Obi-Wan said. He put his hands on the ground and moved to stand up. It was an ill-conceived attempt. He fell back down to the ground with a soft thud. He looked up at Anakin but his eyes were unfocused. “Okay, maybe that’s not a good sign.”

Obi-Wan coughed and blood spluttered out of his mouth. “Yeah, not a good sign,” he murmured.

Anakin’s panic rose. “What do we do?”

Obi-Wan lay down fully on the tile floor. He glanced up at Anakin. “Go find a healer.”

“What?”

“In the halls of healing. Remember, I showed it to you this morning when I took you around the temple? Go there and find someone. They can help.”

Anakin nodded. “Okay,” he said, trying to make his voice sound even and sure. “Just stay here, don’t try to get up.”

“Don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

From the look on Obi-Wan’s face, Anakin could tell that he meant it to sound light-hearted, but it only added to Anakin’s worry. He gave Obi-Wan a parting glance before darting off into their quarters and out the front door. He ran in the direction of the halls of healing, or at least he ran in the direction he thought the halls of healing were in. The more he ran, the less familiar everything appeared. Anakin paused when he entered a great room with large pillars and beautiful art on all the walls. He had no idea where he was and his eyes welled up with tears.

“Hey little one,” a female voice said from behind him. “Are you okay?”

Anakin whirled around and came face to face with a tall, pink-skinned mon calamari woman. “Um.”

“You must be Anakin,” the woman said. “I’ve been very excited to meet you. Where’s your Master?”

The tears welling up in Anakin’s eyes spilled over.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, little one?”

“Obi-Wan is hurt and he... he sent me to get a healer but I— I don’t know where to go,” Anakin said around choked sobs.

The woman’s face turned serious. “He sent you to get a healer?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m a healer. Come with me,” she said. She reached out a webbed hand and Anakin took it, grateful for the direction and the physical comfort of it.

They made their way back to Obi-Wan.

***

An unshakeable feeling of heaviness was what greeted Obi-Wan when he woke up. He groaned and fluttered his eyes open. A figure stood before him, and his eyes focused to reveal Master Che. He groaned again.

“Glad to see you’re still with us,” she said. “Thank the Force Anakin was able to find Bant and they got to you when they did.”

“Huh?”

“You had your new Padawan worried sick. Poor kid,” Vokara said, shaking her head.

“‘kin?” Obi-Wan asked. “Where?”

“He’s fine. He’s with Bant right now. She’s showing him her medical instruments.”

“Oh. That’s good. What happened?”

“I was kind of hoping you would tell me that,” Vokara Che said, fixing him with a glare. “You had internal bleeding, Obi-Wan. Your kidneys were failing. There were massive bruises on your back. How did you even get those?

Oh. Oh yeah.

“During the fight with the… with the Sith. I fell off a catwalk and landed on another one below it. Landed on my back,” Obi-Wan said weakly.

“Obi-Wan that was three days ago,” Vokara said. “You’re lucky it wasn’t initially too severe.”

“Initially?”

“You would have been fine if you immediately got medical treatment.”

“I was busy,” Obi-Wan said simply. It was true. He had to tend to the hasty funeral arrangments and then the parade and then he had to take Anakin back to Coruscant and then he had to convince the Council to let him keep him and then… well then his body had started to give out on him. Vokara gave him a sympathetic look. He felt small underneath it.

“I know. But you need to take care of yourself. You have a Padawan now.”

Obi-Wan’s breath hitched.

“Oh, Obi-Wan,” Vokara Che said. She squeezed his shoulder. “It’ll be alright.”

He put his face in his hands and stifled a sob.

“It’ll be alright,” Vokara Che repeated. “Trust in the Force.”

Obi-Wan nodded, sniffed and steeled himself. “Right. Right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’ve been through a lot, young Kenobi.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he offered a simple nod.

“Is it alright if I go get Anakin?” Vokara asked. “He’s been dying to see you.”

“That’s fine,” Obi-Wan said. Vokara turned and left, presumably to retrieve Anakin.

In truth, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure he wanted his brand new Padawan to see him like this, but he knew it was important for the boy to see that he was okay — that he still had someone in this strange new place to stand by his side.

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin shouted as he burst through the door. Obi-Wan winced.

“Oh, sorry,” Anakin said in a whisper this time.

“It’s alright.”

“Are you okay?” Anakin asked.

“Yes, I’m fine, Anakin.”

“That’s good. I don’t really know anyone else here. Well, actually, I know Miss Bant now and she’s really nice, but I don’t really know anyone else and I like you and I—”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly. “Volume.”

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

Obi-Wan played with a loose string on the edge of his blanket. He ripped a few of the stitches but stopped before he could do any more damage to the innocent garment. He could feel Anakin hovering awkwardly next to him.

“You don’t have to stay here, you know? You can go back to our quarters if you want.”

Anakin shook his head vigorously. “No, I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“I– I don’t know how to get there.”

Oh. Right.

“Well, I’m sure Bant or one of the other healers would be more than willing to—”

“No!” Anakin said quickly. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help the little wave of warmth that filled his chest. “Okay,” he said. He then patted the bedsheets and nodded his head. “Come on then.”

Anakin gave a wide, toothy grin before he climbed up and snuggled himself into the cramped little space right next to Obi-Wan.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Anakin asked.

“Yeah,” Obi-Wan said. “Yeah, I’m alright. Let’s just get some sleep okay?”

“Okay,” Anakin said softly, his eyelids already fluttering closed. “Goodnight, Master Obi-Wan.”

“Goodnight, Padawan.”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

You might call me grim, but I think the thing with Sand People was justified. He couldn't see his mother for 10 years, and when he finally did, she died in his arms after weeks of torture. The people that did that was just outside, and he was told that Sand People are more like animals than human, and they did that multiple times before. Sure, him murdering women and children was not okay, but when you are in a killing spree, you kinda don't pay attention who you are killing

*Cracks knuckles*

Oh, I've never had a chance to debate this before. Never expected to have one. But I've always felt strongly about this. Before I go any further, anon, I would like to point out that even the films themselves aren't trying to say that it was justified. It was wrong. It was evidence of Anakin's descent to the Dark Side. Sidious is the only character who approves of the massacre, so that tells you all you need to know about what position the movie itself was taking. Qui-Gon's spirit was aghast, and, though this is just a guess, I bet Shmi would have been horrified as well. But hey, that doesn't automatically mean the movie is right...though it is. It totally is. I'll do my best to explain my feelings, and even if I couldn't disagree more, I respect your feelings too, anon.

But who I do not respect, is Anakin Skywalker.

I suppose a desire for revenge is human nature, and even if I've never been able to understand it, I won't begrudge him that instinct. Especially given the state Shmi was in. I don't even want to think about what was done to her. Actually, let's go ahead and do that for a second, because if Shmi was sexually assaulted (and if this wasn't an all-ages film, that idea would not be off the table) then Anakin may have potentially just murdered his own half-siblings. Do you think Shmi would be grateful to him for killing her kids? But okay, that's just a theory, it's not supported by canon. But all of those little ones? They were somebody's kids, even if it wasn't a character we know. So just chew on that for a second.

Anakin was angry. That makes sense. But the trouble is, he doesn't know who actually did it. All he knows is that it was an indeterminate number of Sand People in this camp. He doesn't know who has been keeping her prisoner, and he cannot ask, because there's no shared language. This, by itself, is not an excuse to just wipe them all out. We can safely assume that the number of Sand People who had a hand in Shmi's death is...probably just a few. While Shmi was not the only victim of their violence, she is the only one Anakin can speak to. But he has no way of knowing which of the Sand People were responsible for her death, which as far as I'm concerned, means that every single one of them is innocent until proven guilty. Anything less feels like the kind of logic we used in the dark ages, during the witch trials and so on. You mentioned that the people responsible were "just outside" but we don't know for a fact that they were the guilty ones. Even if he was convinced that they were, Anakin could have like...stopped, after he killed them, rather than just kept going. Even if the rest of the Sand People (justifiably) attacked him, he's one of the most powerful force-sensitives in the entire franchise - he could have made it out without further bloodshed.

I mean no offense to you in saying this, but Anakin having been told that the Sand People were like "animals" just doesn't really mean anything to me. First of all, they're clearly humanoid in shape and have dwellings that they live in, as well as weapons they've created. So they've demonstrated intelligence. Even if they're not human under that gear, I mean...this is a different galaxy with all sorts of intelligent, non-human (but still humanoid) creatures, like Wookies for example. Also, like...I don't really care if the Sand People are animals. Slaughtering them like that is still obscene. If it had been an entire pack of Womp Rats, for instance, I wouldn't have hated Anakin any less. Murdering defenseless animals, to me, is no better than murdering defenseless humans. Finally, the question remains...if the Sand People are "just" animals...then it further stands to reason that they just don't know any better, that they don't understand what they did to Shmi. Therefore, they don't understand why this stranger is massacring them. So in that case, it's still totally unacceptable.

"When you are on a killing spree, you kinda don't pay attention to who you are killing." Exactly, anon. That's precisely why a killing spree was not the solution here. Anakin completely surrendered to The Dark Side and just murdered any Sand Person that he found. Including children, and probably babies. He's still responsible for that even if he wasn't in his right mind at the time, which...being angry isn't the same thing as being mentally impaired, so I still hold him accountable. "Not paying attention" is the kind of thing that could excuse mistakes like adding salt to tea instead of sugar. It doesn't excuse slaughtering children. Not to mention, if Anakin really was just completely lost in his anger and not paying attention to what he was doing, then...the absolute bare minimum, the very least he could do after the fact...is show some fucking remorse for what he did. He does not.

"They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them."

This is all he has to say after the fact, despite acknowledging that he murdered countless innocents. He is not sorry. He doesn't even seem to regret it. He blames them for his feelings of discontent following the deed, and seems to dwell on his inability to save Shmi instead. "I will even learn to stop people from dying." Yeah, I feel like The Sand People could use that power more than you right now, buddy. God only knows why Padme doesn't run like hell in the opposite direction. (I can scarcely believe she's actually interested in him after this, but Padme x Anakin is a whole other nightmare, I won't get into it right now.) I'm not only horrified by Anakin's actions. I am appalled by what follows them, and what follows them is nothing. Anakin receives no consequences for this, largely because Obi Wan and the Jedi Council never find out it happened. (Not entirely surprising, considering that they also never find out the exact circumstances of Dooku's death.) I'm sorry, but I've always found this to be bullshit. You're telling me that Luke, a member of the Rebel Alliance, can't assassinate the Emperor without falling to the Dark Side, (he doesn't get a say, apparently) but Anakin can murder an entire tribe and he's just fine to keep fighting for the light? How is that fair?

No, Anakin's fall to the Dark Side may have been influenced by an incompetent Jedi Council, a shockingly rigid set of rules and ideals, and the grooming of a manipulative Sith Lord...but I'm just saying, all of this wouldn't have been enough to turn Obi Wan. Or Luke. Or Finn. I don't even see Rey doing what Anakin did. She's impulsive, yes, and she has anger issues, but she doesn't have his startling tendency toward mindless violence. Yes, I really do think Rey is a better person than Anakin. Even Ben Solo is better than him. At least Ben felt conflicted about his choices, felt actual remorse for killing Han. No, I genuinely believe that to a large extent, Darth Vader...is simply who Anakin is, and always was. (Okay, not always. For as much as the fandom gives him grief, Child Anakin doesn't do anything wrong, and is a total sweetie.) The slaughter of the Sand People makes this blatantly obvious, but it's not the only example. Because don't forget, this is a pattern. He proceeds to murder countless children a second time after he joins Sidious. Padme herself starts to deny it, "Not Anakin! He couldn't-" but then her voice breaks - because she knows damn well that yes, yes he could. He's done it before.

We can also assume that he went on to kill innocents by the hundred after the founding of The Empire. If that isn't enough, he strangles his pregnant wife after she begs him to stop killing kids and supporting fascism. I don't care if he used magic space powers to do it, or if he was "already" on the Dark Side by that point. His creepy ass behavior toward Padme in AOTC, not to mention the warning signs that he was pro-fascism even then...all of this has left me unwilling to give him the benefit of the doubt. In the OT, he stood by and watched an entire planet get destroyed. He maimed his own son, when he of all people should understand the struggle of having to live with a robotic limb. Within five seconds of learning he had a daughter, his first instinct was to threaten her. He even admits that Obi Wan made the right choice in hiding Leia from him. Everyone has their own problems with the prequels, but for me, this is the biggest one. It's a lot harder to swallow Darth Vader's redemption when we see just how dark he actually was, right from the start. Stuff like him cutting off Luke's hand is a lot harder to overlook with scenes like him choking Padme, because it literally creates a pattern of domestic abuse toward his own family. So when he "returns" to the light in saving Luke...don't get me wrong, I still like it, it remains one of the only instances of #RedemptionEqualsDeath that I do like. It just kind of rings hollow, is all.

Anakin Skywalker is remorselessly violent toward the innocent, well before he becomes Darth Vader.

[atagotiak]

Time Traveling Quasi-Reformed Vader

A whole bunch of scattered thoughts with help from @phoenixyfriend​ and @dracothulhu​

So. One thing that’s fun is Darth Vader fics where he has not fully developed a moral compass, but he’s willing to outsource that to people who do have one.

Another thing that’s fun is time travel AUs

So Post-RotJ (and post reunion with Ghost!Obi-Wan) Anakin wakes up. Which is a little weird, he thought consciousness might work differently when you’re dead and all that.

What’s even weirder is he’s like, 15.

Now. He knows that Palpatine can’t be trusted with power. And also just like, on a personal level, he hates Palpatine’s guts now, so he’s not interested in joining him again.

Padmé is pretty great but like. That’s complicated, not least because he hasn’t re-met her yet he knows even less about how to approach pretty women than he did when he was 19, which is kind of impressive. So, approaching Padmé is tabled for uh. Sometime after he gets a little more stable and learns how to function in society as something other than a murder-cryptid.

And also, he knows that Obi-Wan has always cared about Anakin. To the point of still caring about him decades after the worst of betrayals and even after literally being murdered by Anakin. So naturally, Anakin is all-in on the unhealthy devotion.

And crucially here. Obi-Wan has not time travelled. He has no idea what’s going on. Anakin doesn’t want to disappoint Obi-Wan or make him sad and there’s just no not-awkward way to say ‘Hey I don’t know if it was the galaxy’s most intense vision or if my soul literally went back in time, but I fell and destroyed everything you love and then killed you in a possible future’

But still. He wants to make Obi-Wan happy. And also he does want to do good. He feels guilt about the things he (hasn’t yet) done and this is an opportunity to do better. But he still has spent two and a half decades being Darth Vader.

I want you to imagine teenage Anakin asking questions like: “Hey Obi-Wan, how much torture is too much?” “Any torture is too much torture Anakin!”

Anakin is skeptical but hey, torture makes Obi-Wan upset, so. No torture.

The other thing that would be disturbing to Obi-Wan is how deferential Anakin now is. TCW Anakin is perfectly happy bickering with Obi-Wan about everything and I feel like that probably started as a teenager.

Now he’s not like that. Sith hells, even when he sneaks out and does concerning stuff it’s mostly just to impress Obi-Wan.

And yes, Anakin has always wanted to impress Obi-Wan. But this is different.

The speech patterns, especially early on, also can’t help.

From Dracothulu:

cracking puberty voice "what is thy bidding, Master"

Anakin’s entire personality has changed overnight in some very concerning ways. Poor Obi-Wan is going to have a meltdown over all of this.

From Phoenixyfriend:

Obi-Wan getting calls at 3 AM from Anakin like "Hey... I have a sith lord at my mercy, should I kill him?" "Anakin what the ACTUAL FUCK"

"I'm pretty sure this is a 'murder good' situation but I thought the same thing about the Tuskens--" "ANAKIN WHAT"

"When did you find a Sith, I'm--aren't you on Coruscant right now?"

"I walked into the Senate and picked a fight with Sidious. I think I should kill him, he's too dangerous to leave alive, but maybe you want him for information? Or--"

"Anakin who the fuck is Sidious"

Just imagine Anakin like a very proud cat dropping a (not yet dead!) mangled mouse at Obi-Wan’s feet. Only the mouse is a Sith

But honestly, I’m not sure he’d go straight for Palpatine, Anakin is absolutely an impulsive and fighty person, but he’s probably still pretty afraid of Palpatine and he is a formidable fighter, especially now that he’s a few decades younger. Taking Palpatine down is definitely the plan but maybe not immediately. He does find some excuse to distance himself though. Anakin just can’t spend that much time pretending to genuinely like him anymore.

He would absolutely run off for a bit and do this with Maul.

Nixy:

Cats bringing you half-dead spiders is a time-honored tradition

"He killed your space dad so it's your decision if you want to kill him"

"Anakin there are SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE"

"So... you want ME to decide if he dies?"

"NO"

Much like a cat he is confused by Obi-Wan being disturbed weirded out by this.

Nixy:

In Anakin's defense, bringing half-dead enemies to his master's feet was one of the few things that made Sidious less likely to torture him for kicks

It's a learned behavior

“I thought stopping Sith was a good thing?”

“Well, yes. But you should wait until you’re older. And better at ethics.”

The way he handles Dooku is actually more subtle. By comparison, at least. As while evil grandpa is definitly evil by this point, he is still well-respected by the Jedi (who have no reason to suspect him of anything evil yet) and giving an injured Dooku to Obi-Wan as a present would go even worse than with Maul. He spams Dooku with anonymous messages about how Palpatine is a dick who’s going to betray him. He also keeps an eye out for any suspicious things Anakin could actually act on.

Anakin runs into nine year old Ahsoka, and yes he feels guilty but he’s always feeling guilty about something. He quickly becomes a mentor for her again and when Obi-Wan finds out he’s a little concerned and wants to supervise. Not for Ahsoka’s safety. But he does worry about what Anakin might be teaching her.

(Ahsoka does start biting people more often after she starts hanging out with Anakin)

Obi-Wan, seeing Anakin’s newfound interest in kids (or at least one kid) signs him up for some part time crèche assistant things. Both to give him some supervised time with kids in the hopes that it’ll be calming and constructive and a liiitle bit beacause Anakin could probably benefit from secondhand kindergarten level “outside of a sparring ring hands are not for hitting” lessons

This is, at least at first, drastically less grounding for Anakin than intended, though he doesn’t ever complain. (And helping teach kids how to behave does help a bit with reminding him what social norms are)

I feel like he doesn’t end up a crèchemaster. Too many bad memories and too much guilt to be caring for these kids full-time. But he does keep teaching the occasional class for little kids, like binary for beginners, or how to make basic circuits.

They asked him to teach introductory saber lessons once because he’s good with lightsabers and good at teaching. He had a breakdown.

[jokerscrazybrilliant]

Survive - Chapter 2 - (Captain Rex)

Chapter 1 · Chapter 2 · Chapter 3 · Chapter 4

Story on other platforms:

Quotev · AO3

________

“Master Kenobi,” I bowed my head to him as I entered the briefing room, reciprocating the smile he gave me.

“Hello Nimra, I hope you’re doing well today?” Master Kenobi was, as always, kind and warm, I had only heard about him before being assigned to Master Skywalker but now that I had met him, I wished I could’ve gotten the opportunity to learn from him sooner.

“Well, I’m glad the two of you are getting along.” Anakin commented, seeming to feel ignored. I smirked as I turned to face him, bowing deeply and exaggeratedly.

“Master Skywalker, you’re important too!” I grinned as Obi Wan laughed behind his hands at my teasing.

“Very funny Nim, we’re actually in the middle of a debriefing if you hadn’t noticed.” He gestured to the conference table where Captain Rex and Commander Cody of Obi Wan’s 212th battalion stood.

“Gentlemen,” I greeted as we joined them at the table, earning a polite nod from each in return. “My first mission?” I turned to ask Anakin, unable to hide my excitement. It had only been a few days onboard Master Skywalker’s ship, but that paired with my time on Coruscant, I had been out of the action for far too long.

Anakin shook his head at me with a small smile, “Not for you, not a mission. Just routine inspections of the outer rim outposts.”

“However, I think it would be good for Nimra to join the captain and Commander Cody. I believe it will be good for her to familiarize herself with the standard procedures and how these bases operate.” Master Kenobi said, stroking his beard in thought.

Anakin shrugged at me. “It won’t be too long, and as long as the commanders don’t mind, I don’t see anything wrong with it,” he looked to the clones in question.

“We don’t mind at all, General.” Commander Cody said, giving me a small nod.

“Alright then, that’s settled. You three can get underway then. And don’t forget to check in.” Master Obi-Wan said, then turning to analyze some information on screen.

Anakin pulled me aside before letting me follow them out. “I know you’re here to learn from me, Nim, but these clones have more experience than you and I combined. Make sure you show them the respect they deserve, and use this opportunity to learn from them, as well.”

I bowed my head respectfully, showing him I understood. “Of course, Master.” With that he gave me a pat on the shoulder and a small smile and headed to Master Obi-Wan.

“Have fun!” He gave a wave over his shoulder, and I smiled and walked out to catch up with the commanders.

I might’ve been offended that Master Skywalker felt the need to tell me to be respectful to the clone commanders, but I had heard enough comments from my peers to show that not all Jedi, and not all people, were as respectful as they should be towards our soldiers. While they fought valiantly and gave their lives to protect us, we had people insulting them, and viewing them as less-than. I couldn’t stand that, I had ended friendships with such disrespectful people, and I just couldn’t understand where they were coming from.

Shaking these thoughts out of my head, I quickly made my way to the hangar, not wanting to be left behind.

***

Inspecting the bases was very, very far from interesting, and I huffed as we finally settled in the ship, setting the route for the final base we had to check, the Rishi Outpost. It was definitely a learning opportunity, but I felt like I was back in the classroom, learning all sorts of codes and procedures I needed to have memorized. However, thankfully I didn’t have to do very much, rather I just observed, Commander Cody taking the lead on all the inspections thus far.

I could see how the commander and Master Obi-Wan got along, both of them having a high regard for protocol and rules, whereas Captain Rex was a little more flexible to adjust more to Anakin’s… unique way of doing things.

“You doing alright, commander?” Rex turned to look at me in the small open cockpit, smirking slightly at my slouched posture in the chair.

Giving him an expression that should’ve fried him where he was, I sat up straight, cursing him in my mind. “Fantastic, captain.” I forced the most polite smile I could muster.

“Good.” I didn’t miss the amusement that shone in his eyes, making me thankful I had been assigned to this particular battalion. I wasn’t sure I would’ve made it with Cody’s more serious personality.

“I’m going to contact the Generals, let ‘em know where we’re at.” The commander in question spoke up, gaining both Rex and I’s attention.

I nodded. “Good idea, commander.”

Me and Rex watched silently as Cody opened the frequency to contact Master Obi-Wan. “General Kenobi, General Skywalker,” Commander Cody greeted as they appeared in the transmission.

“Cody. How goes the inspections?” Obi-Wan asked.

“The tracking station at Pastel is fully operational. Captain Rex, Commander Nimra and I are proceeding to the outpost in the Rishi system.”

“Good. Report back once you’ve arrived.”

“Copy that. Cody out.” He ended the transmission as Rex set the ship into hyperspace.

“How long to the Rishi outpost?” I asked

“Feeling tired sir?” Rex turned his head to eye me in question.

“No of course not, I just want to know so that I can prepare myself.” I glowered at him.

“It won’t be a long ride, commander, Rishi isn’t far from here.” Commander Cody piped in.

“Thank you, Cody.” I gave him a sweet smile, wanting to be on his good side since he and Master Kenobi were friends.

“Not a problem sir.”

***

The trip to the outpost really wasn’t far and I was excited for the boring protocol checks to come to an end. Commander Cody signaled the base as we made our approach. “Rishi Outpost, this is Commander Cody, do you copy? Rishi Outpost, please respond.” My brows furrowed as it took them a while to respond to our hails.

“Sorry, commander, we’re experiencing technical difficulties.” A voice responded from over the comms.

“This is the inspection team,” Cody responded.

“Inspection? Negative, we do not require an inspection. Everything is fine here, thank you.” I shared a look with Rex at this strange response. They knew to expect us, and they were speaking with a superior officer, so what was with the unwillingness to comply?

“We’ll be the judge of that. Prepare for our arrival.”

“Roger, roger.” At this Cody shut off the comm, looking uneasy.

“Something’s not right here.” Rex commented, frowning as we approached the landing pad.

“Well, good luck. I’m putting you in charge of this one. I know Commander Sayla has been taking notes, let’s see how well you’ve been paying attention.” Cody said to Rex, me smirking at him behind Cody’s back teasingly.

“Well, you two go ahead, I’ll join you in a moment, I’ll just contact Master Skywalker and update him on our whereabouts.” The two men nodded at me before exiting the ship, leaving me to turn on the comm, tuning in to the correct frequency to reach Master Anakin. A small frown formed on my face as I was met with nothing but static.

Confused, I turned to follow after Rex and Cody. They were talking to an officer out on the deck. A flare showed in the sky, briefly catching my attention before I turned back to see Rex pulling out his pistol, shooting the officer in the head. “Rex are you mad?!” I shouted, running up to the two quickly.

“Relax, commander,” Rex responded, unconcernedly. He reached down and pulled off the dead officer’s helmet to reveal the faceplate of a droid, but not an ordinary battle droid. “Just as I thought. Looks like one of those new commando droids.”

“That flare must have come from the survivors.” Commander Cody noted.

Shots rung out around us as more of those droids revealed themselves, and they had us surrounded. Well, this is going well, I thought to myself sarcastically. “Ambush!” Rex shouted, moving back to find cover.

“Really? And here I thought it was just the welcome party.” I responded over the noise of fire, deflecting bullets to cover the two soldiers behind me.

“Those clankers have tough armour!” Cody commented frustratedly.

“Yeah, I never thought I’d miss those lousy B-One battle droids!” I responded, wanting to laugh but finding it difficult with all the shots I was taking. The droids had caught us unawares and had us completely surrounded, boxing us in between several storage crates and coming at us from all directions.

“We’re cut off!” Rex shouted between shots. Suddenly more commandos came out from inside the base, tossing handfuls of detonators in our direction. While I found it slightly flattering that they felt it necessary to devote so many explosives to destroying us, it also left us a very small chance of surviving the explosion. “Off the platform!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” The men jumped before me and I quickly followed, unsure of what I was diving into, but I had no time to think if I wanted to make it out of the small area before being blown to bits. Before I could fall too far, I felt the wind knocked out of me as someone grabbed me around the waist, stopping my descent.

“I gotcha, commander.” Rex spoke into my ear, causing a warmth to rise to the back of my neck.

“I appreciate the sentiment captain, but you forget, I’m a Jedi.” I turned to look at him with a crooked grin. “I have these cool magical powers that allow me to catch myself before I go splat.”

“Of course, commander.” I didn’t miss the amusement in his voice as he let go of me, and I landed gracefully on the ground, watching as the two soldiers lowered themselves using their cables.

“This certainly complicates things, commander.” Rex addressed Cody as we took in our surroundings.

“No worse than that time on Tibrin.” Cody responded lightly.

“We had the Generals with us on Tibrin. They helped.” My brow raised at how quickly he dismissed my presence. That paired with how he caught me when he certainly wouldn’t have caught Skywalker made me think they didn’t realize what I was capable of.

Well since you don’t think I can help, have fun on your own, I thought to myself, slightly annoyed. Master Kenobi and Anakin had sent me to observe and learn, after all. So that’s what I would do.

The approach of three unknown clones drew our attention and pulled me from my thoughts. I could feel their force signatures, and they were indeed clones, but I didn’t cut in to say that as Rex demanded them take off their helmets. They took them off, albeit confusedly, and introduced themselves as Fives, Hevy, and Echo. Rex and Cody introduced themselves, and me, and I gave a little wave from my spot in the back, but remained silent.

It was interesting to see the way they dealt with these younger clones. It was a new side of Rex I hadn’t yet seen. I stayed with my arms folded across my chest, leaning against a wall of the cave even as a giant eel like creature attacked, watching with only mild interest as the captain took it out with one shot. I was more interested in the young ‘shinies’, as Rex called them.

They were young and inexperienced but they had a firm determination that was refreshing to see. I walked in the back alongside Echo as we found better ground. “So, you’re a Jedi, sir?”

“Almost,” I responded with a warm smile. “Have you met a Jedi before?”

He nodded. “General Shaak Ti helped train us on Kamino. Without her belief in us, me and my batchers would never have succeeded.” He clearly had a lot of respect for her, and it made me smile to see.

“Of course. I have only met Master Ti a few times but she seems very wise.” Our conversation came to an end as we quickly climbed up closer to the outpost.

“Look sharp, rookies. As long as those tweezers occupy this post, our home planet of Kamino is at risk.”

“But there’s so many of them.” Echo’s nervous comment made me smile. They really were shinies.

“Doesn’t matter, kid. We have to retake this base, so we will retake this base!”

“And how do you propose we get through those blast doors, Rex, old boy?” Cody turned to look at Rex.

“I have a few ideas.”

He didn’t share his idea until we took out all the droids on the platform, me taking care of the stragglers before they could call for backup or notify anyone to our presence. But his brilliant idea was… well I could see how him and Skywalker got along, or perhaps they had spent too much time together because his idea was a very poor plan I could see Skywalker coming up with.

“This is never gonna work.” Cody sighed from beside me, making me chuckle and nod in agreement.

“I mean I could’ve just sliced it open with my lightsaber but I figured I’d let him have his fun.” I commented as we watched the captain faking taking off his helmet and holding up a decapitated droid head up in its place.

To our collective surprise, the blast doors opened, his plan succeeding. These droids might’ve had tougher armour than the standard B-One but they certainly weren’t much smarter. “Clones!” One called out in surprise, far too late, unfortunately for them.

“Roger, roger.” The captain responded coolly, shooting at it before we all jumped out and dismantled the rest of the droids. “Right, let’s move.”

“Permission to take point, sir?” Hevy asked, no doubt excited to be seeing some action.

“I’malways first, kid.” Rex responded, making me grin.

We were able to overtake the base quickly, Fives and Echo making me laugh as they argued over who got the kill on a droid. “Sorry Echo, that one really was Fives.” I gave him an apologetic smile.

“Get to the window. It looks like we have more visitors.” Commander Cody pointed out at the sky.

“It looks like a Separatist fleet.” I frowned at the sight above us. This was not good.

“That’s why they commandeered this outpost. They’re mounting a full-scale invasion,” Rex stated.

“Can we get a message out?” I asked.

“No good, they’re jamming all other communication and they’ve hardwired the all-clear signal. It’ll take too long to fix. And we’ve got company.” Rex pointed to the shuttle full of droid reinforcements that was making its way to us.

“Well buddy, you always said you wanted to be on the front lines.” Fives nudged Hevy lightly.

“We can’t protect the outpost long against that army of clankers.” Hevy said, turning to look at Rex.

“Then we’ll destroy the outpost instead.” My brows raised at this idea. It certainly wasn’t orthodox but it would cut off the all clear signal, which would capture our fleet’s attention.

Rex quickly got everyone on board with the idea and Echo came up with a solution on how we would manage to destroy the base itself, a plan quickly coming together. He really is a great leader, I thought to myself as I watched Rex divide the men into teams.

“Are you alright to go with Hevy and the boys to hold off the clankers, give us more time?” The captain asked me, fully aware that while he was in charge, I was above him in rank.

I nodded. “Of course, captain. Don’t worry about me.” I gave him a little smile as I followed after Hevy to the building’s entrance.

“Reinforcements reporting. Open up.”

Hevy opened the blast doors, blaster canon at the ready. “Didn’t say please.” He quipped, opening fire on the droids.

I laughed as I dove in front of him, deflecting bullets to cover him and taking out as many droids as I could reach. Many more took their place and I cursed at General Grievous in my mind, there was no doubt that he was behind this. “Just some routine inspections, they said, just to pick up some standard procedure. Yeah right.” I muttered, swatting away battle droids with my lightsaber as I grumbled to myself.

“Time to go commander!” Hevy called to me. I nodded at him and quickly jogged inside, still deflecting laser bolts back at the enemy. Quickly the blast doors sealed behind me and we made our way back to the command centre.

“Rex, time’s wasting.” Cody called out as we entered.

“Almost ready. The handset isn’t linked up with the detonator. Hevy.”

“Yes, sir?”

“This detonator isn’t working.” Rex said, handing it over to him.

“I’ll take care of it. It’ll be fixed in no time. You guys get out of here.”

“Just make it fast. Those droids are getting close.” Rex opened the ventilation shaft, gesturing for me to enter it first.

“I’ll wait, I’ll go last,” I opposed.

“Please commander, we’ll be right behind you. Besides, if you get hurt on my watch, the General won’t let me hear the end of it.” He made me laugh lightly.

“Fine then. Hurry up, all of you.” I quickly made my way through the tunnels, exiting and trying to find a good vantage point to watch the sky from.

The rest of the team was right behind me, and Rex looked up at the base. “Hevy, hit the – where’s Hevy?” I quickly turned at his words, noting that Hevy was indeed missing.

“He must still be trying to fix the detonator!” I quickly turned back and tried to make my way up the slope we had just come from, the rest of the team trying to get a hold of Hevy. He just needed to wait, I would be right there. Before I could clamber back into the ventilation shaft someone yanked me back by the arm, holding me back.

I watched in horror as the base exploded before me, debris flying everywhere, flames erupting from the pipes in front of me, nearly reaching my face.

I stared into the flames for several moments, face blank, before turning and walking away, the arm that had held me back finally letting go. How many lives now? How many lives had been given to save my own?

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply through my nose, the smell of smoke and scorched metal filling my nostrils. Trust in the will of the force, I repeated the line to myself. Quieting my mind, I turned back to the group, putting a reassuring hand on Echo’s shoulder as he looked up at the flaming base. “Hevy always did hate that place.”

Our own fleet appeared in the sky momentarily, clearly getting the message that something was wrong, and gunships quickly appeared to pick us up. Suffice it to say I was more than eager to get off that rock.

“So, what have you learned from your trip, Nim?” Master Skywalker asked as I joined him in the hangar bay.

“That you and your captain deserve each other.” I joked with a grin, earning a laugh from Anakin and a look from the helmeted captain himself.

“I’ll take that as a complement.” Anakin responded.

“You should.”

***

After a small ceremony indicting Fives and Echo into the Five Hundred and First and awarding them on their bravery and success, there was a small informal celebration in the mess hall. We had staved off an invasion on Kamino, and we had two new recruits, so there was some celebration to be had. However, I knew Fives and Echo had the recent events still in their minds, and someone else who was nowhere to be found.

Making my way back to the hangar bay I found the captain sitting in a corner on a workbench, helmet on the floor in front of him. I came to a stop before him, unsure if my company was welcome or unwanted. Several moments passed before he spoke.

"I should've stayed behind and made sure they all got out. I should've known he'd try something stupidly heroic." His head was in his hands, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the floor hollowly.

I sighed, sitting down on the bench beside him, staring ahead as I fell into my own thoughts. "It's not easy, when I think about all the people who have given their lives to save me. So many soldiers on the battlefield, like Hevy, like my Master," My voice broke at the mention of my old Master. Talking about him still brought up so much pain, and so many memories I tried to forget. "Some days I feel like I wasn't worth it."

"And other days?" He looked to me questioningly.

"I realize that it was never about me." I said, giving him a small smile. He nodded at me, considering my words. "When those people give their lives, it is because they are selfless. It is because they want to save lives so desperately they are willing to sacrifice anything. In that moment they are not thinking about me, and whether or not I am worth it. They are only thinking about saving anyone they can." I let myself speak my thoughts aloud, needing this conversation as much as he did.

"We should do our best to live well. To honour their sacrifice."

I looked at him thoughtfully, drawn to his dark golden orbs that held such meaning. What had those eyes seen? What emotion did they harbour? What knowledge did they hold?

I resisted the urge to sigh wistfully as I looked into his eyes, wishing I could know what they hid. "And so we shall." I gave a small smile and stood up, gesturing towards where the others were. "Now let's go celebrate the newest additions to the five hundred and first."