#and im v afraid of missing anyone

[rafeandonlyrafe]

only you, always

words: 1.6k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, cheating, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex

you would never admit it out loud to anyone, but a twisted part of you likes when rafe cheats on you. its a dark truth, one you wrestle with every time it happens.

it's always when he's blackout drunk or high at a party, usually a combination of both. it's often when you're fighting or on a “break”. like last week, when your blowout argument ended with rafe slamming the door behind him and stomping out into the night. you were quick to hear that he made out with some girl at kelce's party. the pain lasted until the next day when he showed up back home, disheveled and tear-streaked, clutching a bouquet of flowers.

“i fucked up.” he croaked. 

you just stared at him until he fell to his knees, blue eyes rimmed with red as he pressed his forehead against your stomach. “please don’t leave me. i can’t lose you.”

the cheating hurts you every time, but rafe coming back crawling and crying, begging your forgiveness and worshiping you for the next few weeks always makes up for it.

“hi beautiful.” rafe kisses at your cheeks, a week having passed from your fight and his infidelity, the tension replaced with the warmth of his lips against your skin. 

“hey.” you smile, running your fingers over his face, stubble gracing his cheeks as he hasn't shaved for the last couple days, preferring to spend every waking moment with you instead as if he’s afraid you might slip away.

“i love you so much.” rafe leans in and kisses the tip of your nose this time, then your forehead, before dropping down to your lips.

“i don't deserve you.” rafe whispers before kissing you again.

“you probably don't.” you giggle, rolling on the bed so you're fully on top, pinning him beneath you. 

“i said i was sorry.” rafe pouts.

“and i forgave you.” you shake your head, your voice gentle but firm, realizing you probably shouldn't make fun of the situation, but humor feels safer than vulnerability.

“it won't happen again.” rafe says. it always does, yet he always promises it won't. maybe as you both grow older and more mature, both stop drinking and fighting so much, it will really be over, breaking the cycle. at least this time it was just kissing some random girl instead of sleeping with her.

you knew what you were getting into when you began dating rafe. he came with a wild reputation and an even wilder past. practically everyone in your friend group had a one night stand with rafe, but you didn't mind, because he chose to come back to you, not anyone else.

“what are you thinking about baby?” rafe asks, watching the emotions flicker over your face.

“just how good of a boyfriend you can be.” you answer with a small smile. 

“yeah?” rafe smirks, his head tilting to the side as a mischievous look flashes over his eyes. “do you want me to show you just how good of a boyfriend or do you want breakfast first?”

“you first.” you say quickly. “and then bacon and eggs.”

“scrambled or sunny side up?”

“scrambled of course.”

rafe grin grows, hands moving against your bare skin. “just like im about to scramble your-”

“allllright.” you cut him off before he can finish his joke, laughing as you roll off of him.

“no come back.” he pouts, pulling you back against his body, molding his chest to your back as he spoons you.

“you're so ridiculous.” you chuff, though your voice betrays the affection simmering beneath the surface.

“ridiculously in love with you.” rafe counters, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder. he just had you last night, but he's already craving you again, missing the feeling of your bodies pressed together in the most intimate way.

“you're extra corny this morning.” you hum out.

“sorry.” rafe chuckles. you love that he's only like this around you, and only when he's just cheated. he turns into a dopey lovesick puppy until the need for your forgiveness and guilt wears off and he's back to his normal self.

rafe places his hand on your stomach, circling around your soft skin, each movement sweeping lower every time, deliberate and teasing.

“rafe.” you whine, eyes shutting as he begins to dip into your underwear with every gesture. 

“mhm.” rafe hums. as much as he likes to tease you, he wants to pleasure you more. his hand dips all the way into your underwear, fingertips coming to your clit.

he knows your body so well, exactly what to do to drive you crazy, every touch sending electricity through your body. his strokes over your clit are gentle, occasionally purposely missing to rub lower towards your entrance, like he's teasing where he's going to be later. it’s a dance you’ve done a hundred times before, but it never gets old.

“that feels so good.” you moan out, not even realizing that your eyes had fallen closed. rafe moves his other hand so it's under your body, your head coming to rest on his shoulder as he sculpts himself around you, other hand cupping your chest.

“mmm.” you hum, feeling rafes hardness pressing against your bum as his fingers stop teasing your clit, rubbing intensely now with the purpose of getting you wet and open.

“oh, baby.” rafe moans as you reach behind your back, hand cupping over his underwear, squeezing at his length through the fabric.

“fuck me. please.” you begin to move your hips, grinding yourself against his hand.

“be patient.” he tsks, fingers pinching at your nipple before going back to cupping your breast.

“unfair.” you pout, but decide two can play at that game, bringing your hand underneath his waistband to stroke up and down his cock.

you can't see rafes face, but you're sure his expression just shifted to one of pleasure.

his hand delves further between your legs, finger circling around your entrance only once before pushing into your cunt, making you moan loudly.

“fuck yes.” you rock your hips again, this time back against rafes crotch, your hand still moving up and down his cock.

“god, i can barely wait.” rafe groans, finger moving faster inside of you, building you up as quickly as he can.

“stop waiting then.” you move your hand, turning onto your back, rafes hand maneuvering to still fuck into you. “come on, rafey.”

you know once he sees your pout he can't resist, not when he's still making things up to you.

“god, that face kills me.” he presses a quick kiss against your lips before moving, pulling your underwear down and flinging them off the bed before disrobing himself.

you grin as rafe doesn't even bother to ask how you want him, instantly lying himself over top of you and lining up his cock with your entrance.

“i love you.” you press a kiss against rafes cheek as your arms loop around his shoulders.

“i love you.” rafe echos back, connecting your lips that quickly develop into moans as he pushes inside of you, engulfing his cock in your heat.

rafe knows he doesn’t need to give you time, already used to his cock being sheathed inside of you. he begins to swing his hips in an even rhythm.

your fingertips dig into his shoulders, pressing into his tanned skin.

“nobody even gets close to you.” rafe groans as you tighten your cunt around him every time he pulls out to thrust back in.

“its only you.” rafe continues as he drops one hand between your bodies, placing his thumb against your clit as he rubs to the rhythm of his thrusts. “only you.”

you can't help that smile that stretches across your face. you don't give a shit if it's only you, as long as he continues to fuck you like this and treat you like a queen.

“faster, rafe.” you pull his chest tighter against yours, your nipples pressing against his skin, stimulating them with his every movement as he speeds up.

“c-close.” you whine.

“me too.” rafe grunts in agreement. “gonna cum in you, yeah?”

“yes.” you nod rapidly. “yes, please, please, please, rafe.”

your head is swirling with the overwhelming pleasure as rafes thumb presses against your clit just as his cock is thrust deep inside of you. it's enough to throw you over the edge, back arching up into rafe as you moan loudly, legs shaking as you feel him lose it to, his moans loud in your ear as he pumps into you.

“fuck, b-baby, y/n.” rafe groans as he finishes, making sure you get every last drop inside of you.

rafe drops himself to the side of you, the mattress bouncing as you both become slack against the sheets, hearts beating fast and chest rising and falling rapidly.

“i really do love you baby.” rafe says, his voice soft and slightly hoarse. “im sorry i always fuck things up.”

“you don't, though.” you move so you're resting against rafes chest, snuggled against his side. “you make mistakes but you always come back and make it right, that's all i ask for.”

you hear rafe sniffle and you know he's holding back tears, always extra emotional after a reconciliation, as if hes purging himself from the guilt.

“ill go make you some breakfast now if you wanna get dressed.” rafe slides quickly off the bed, keeping his back to you as he pulls his underwear back on.

“why would i get dressed if i want you to fuck me again after breakfast?” you tease, your lip quirking up.

you see rafes hand raise to his face, and you know he's wiping at his cheeks, but you give him time to collect himself, secretly happy only you can make him act like this.

“alright.” rafe turns around, his eyes still glossy but filled with adoration as he bends down to press a kiss to your forehead. “bacon and scrambled eggs and then ill fuck you on the table, then in the shower, then ill take you shopping and fuck you in the dressing room.”

“perfect.” you grin.

[sheepispink]

His medic, Your muse

pairings: leon s kennedy x medic!reader (im pretty sure it’s gender neutral)

summary: You’re a medic at the DSO, your first ever patient being Leon. However that was three years ago and you’ve since left for a better life, but Leon’s being doing worse, struggling to survive without you. So, as anyone does, he turns up injured at your doorstep, multiple times.

WC: 4.5k

A/n: i miss him so much, i miss leon so much i want to kiss him

resident evil masterlist

————————————————-

You’ve worked at the DSO for a while, though as one of the medics rather than an agent. The training was tough but you took it well, eventually getting your certification. However, you still have not treated a real patient yet, only assisting or handling miniscule problems. Today you had been told that a bunch of agents had just returned and one would be assigned to you. There wasn’t time to ask questions, even to determine his state, before he’s knocking at your little infirmary in the west wing. He had dealt with his fair share of medics in his training, and they hadn’t been particularly nice. In fact none of the others in the program were particularly friendly either; nearly everyone was tightlipped due to the fact this was supposed to be some top secret government program. When he was ushered towards the infirmary and you approached him, he was expecting a straight forward and relatively quiet checkup, or at best a few stammers seeing as you didn’t look too experienced. This was the least favourite part of his missions; newbie or not, he was sure he’d leave this only feeling more drained than before. “Kennedy, is it? Are there any really bad injuries I should be aware of?”

You do stutter a little, making his lips quirk upwards at his correct prediction. “My hand got stabbed, and I was injected with some.. virus thing, then healed. Anything else shouldnt be too bad.” He reminds himself not to get too hopeful over you— that might just be the only full sentence you say for the next three hours. “V-virus?” You squeak it out, having never heard of an agent getting a virus and then healing from said virus too. Though you were briefed about Umbrella a while back, you didnt realise they made antidotes too. Then again, they didn't want all their people to die out.

You ignore the way his lips rise again at your squeak, instead opening a new syringe and setting up some vials. “Okay, we’ll have to take some blood to test for any abnormalities. Are you scared of needles?”

He blinks at you, stares down at his rolled up sleeve, the needle in your hand and then back to you again, eyebrow raised. “What if I was?”

He wasn't, but he couldn’t fault you for asking; he’s met a lot of people in his life who’ve been afraid, even if they were special service agents or the like.

“Well there’s a different needle I can use, or I can make sure you don't know when I've done it.. or I can make sure you don't see it?” He raises a brow, and shakes his head, about to mumble something about him not being scared of needles. Though, before he can get a sound out, there’s a pinch in his arm and in seconds you have the vial filled up to the top. “Hold onto this.” He finds himself following your orders without hesitation, his hand holding down a small cotton ball you pressed against the incision whilst you grab a piece of medical tape to keep it down. “Perfect, just tell me if that carries on bleeding. Now pass me your hand and I'll rewrap the gauze there.”

He blinks, watching as you delicately take his hand, slowly unwrapping the bandages and watching him for any reaction of pain. It hurts, but it’s nothing he cant handle too badly. You’re slow and careful as you clean the wound, your thumb pressing gently into his uninjured skin in a soothing gesture each time he tenses. “There, all done.” A smile curves on your lips, satisfied by your neat bandages left on his hand. “Thanks..” He starts to sit up right, ready to leave when you speak up again, hands around a small clipboard.

”So, apart from noticeable injuries, what else have you had?” He hasn't expected you to care about anything other than open wounds, considering most nurses wouldn't but you’re watching him expectantly. “Got thrown around a lot, probably some big bruises and cuts—nothing too bad.” Your brows furrow though, and you gesture for him to show you them and so he does. For the next half hour, you carefully check over each mark and particularly large bruise, fingers gentle against his collarbone as you wipe down a cut there. ”Is this it now..?” He currently feels like a mummy from how much gauze and plasters litter his body.

”Injuries-wise, yes.” You chuckle at his impatience, looking up at him again after turning the page to a fresh one. “How are you feeling?”

”What?”

”Y’know, your mental state. Any unusual migraines, brain fog..voices?” He shakes his head slowly and you nod, scribbling down a short note. He hadn’t expected to stay here this long, nor for you to ask things like that, especially since he knew most of the DSO medics were worked to the bone. You take his short answer well, scooting your swivel chair over to the computer. “Alright… just keep applying ointment on those bruises..” You hum whilst tapping away at your keyboard, likely filling in a prescription for a proper jar of ointment for him.

This time he finally stands, grabbing his leather jacket and slipping it on. He does feel a little better— even he can't deny that fact. “You’ll have a debriefing soon right..?” He lets out a small huff in agreement, clearly not looking too happy about being forced back into the job once more and not trying to hide that in the slightest.

“Hmm.. how many hours of medical leave do you want? I can't do a whole day based on your injuries, but I can definitely get you some hours of rest.” He blinks at you—was that not technically lying? As a medic, you had the authority to request a temporary, permanent, or just even a few hours of discharge, but agents who have tried to request it were nearly always denied. After all, the DSO didn't care about their employees, only the work they got done.

”You look tired. It’d do good for your injuries.” You turn back to him, giving him a small shrug before gesturing to the empty medical beds around the small room. There was a curtain to shield each one off from the other, supposed to be used for emergencies or treatments. He thinks about it for a moment, wondering if you’re really being serious about all of this. As he stares back, all he can see is the genuine worry in your eyes and he reluctantly softens his harsh features, nodding. “Okay.. guess I can stay for a bit.”

He’s suddenly very grateful when you keep your gaze to your paperwork as he steps towards a bed in the far corner, draping his jacket on the small table and undoing the remaining gear on his person. His shirt now crumpled on the desk, he slips beneath the soft but thin covers of the bed. Never would he have ever thought he’d accept an offer like this before; when he sneaks a peek back at you, he only sees you tapping away quietly at your computer. It’s an environment he likes, quiet.. peaceful; he soon dozes off, slipping into a deep slumber.

————-

That was three years ago, and since then you’ve been one of the only medics he’s let tend to, and the only he’d speak with outside of the infirmary. Sometimes choosing the medic was out of his control, but the more you were assigned to him, the more he longed for that medic to always be you. He wasn’t the only one though; you were regularly praised by the agents for being one of the most attentive around. Since that day, he’s spent a lot more hours in your infirmary too, whether it was for checkups, small cuts or just a well-needed chat that’d occasionally turn into an excuse to nap. You were one of the few things keeping him sane after every mission, making sure he stayed healthy and well and prescribing him rest whenever you deemed it to be necessary— that was practically always though.

However, just when he started to consider indulging in your presence a little more, you had decided enough was enough. Despite your constant dedication, even you couldn't live through the constant stress of attending to every injured person and witnessing deaths of agents you used to see every day. And so, after saving up enough and finding a job that only required part time, you quit. You know the agents would survive without you; after all, you were just a small spark in the midst of the darkness of the company and it had been slowly snuffing out the light you had left.

For the first few months, Leon pushed past it, especially as more B.O.Ws showed up across the states. With each mission he only drained himself more and more, forced to walk past the empty infirmary with a longing tear in his heart. He couldn't help it; you cared about him more than he would even care about himself, and he cared for you more than his mind could comprehend. So he continued to deny himself, forcing himself through mission after mission until he was riding back on his motorcycle—the pain brutal as he drove through the empty streets. What good was there in calling for help? He’d only be shoved into more work by morning, another hangover, another splitting headache and another wish of everything ending altogether. A cycle he desperately had not wanted to repeat again.

”Uh.. um.. are you free?” He leans against a payphone, knowing it’s two am and feeling so, so bad for the tired yawn that echoed when you had eventually picked up. “What’s wrong Leon..? You don’t sound too good..” He couldn't speak; forced into silence just by your gentle voice speaking out his name. There was no more of that Kennedy nonsense, just him, Leon. “Can I come over..?”

Ten minutes later you opened the door to his weary face, an exhaustion that rung his hair flat and sunk his gaze to the floor. “Oh my—“ You gasp, noticing the stains of red on his shirt and grabbing his wrist without a second thought. Quickly, you have him settled on your couch, his shirt discarded as you tend to a gash near his side, fixing him as you always have. When you’re sure he’s fine, you give him a worried glance before grabbing him a thick duvet, water and painkillers. He sleeps soundly on your couch that night, no nightmares to lurk in the depths of his mind and nothing leaking out the ever present hole that once painted his heart.

After that day, it grew increasingly harder to avoid the urge. How would anyone deny something so perfect when they’ve already been delivered a taste? It was only a ‘once-in-a-few-months’ type of thing. You let him in, even if you haven't heard from him in six weeks and he’s practically bleeding out on your doorstep. That was also the problem— the issue of inconveniencing you. He always dropped in at the worst times, usually when you were all sleepy as you wiped down his gashes with the best concentration you can. What if you were only dealing with him for the sake of it? He couldn't deny the possibility of this being true— the fact of him taking advantage of your kindness. It tore him apart more than the ache that begged for you, pulling him in two directions with no middle ground to save him.

Until a mission comes around, a bad one— a really bad one. The B.O.W lays in the rubble, a sickly acid oozing from its weakened form and it’s clear these are its last breaths now. There’s a plank of metal through its chest, its eyes destroyed by grenades Leon’s hands had dealt. However, instead of relief, he only reciprocated the distress of the bioweapon. A particularly nasty wound had his head dizzy, barely stumbling his way to your porch and knocking weakly at your door. He can barely open his mouth to speak, his eyes weak as you gasp, stilling for a split second before immediately hoisting his arm over your shoulder and ushering him inside. Blood dripped on the hardwood floor as you led him through, this time not to your couch but to your bedroom. It would be easier this way, especially since it was so close to his abdomen and having him laying flat would be great. “I-it’s not that bad..” He can't help but feel bad when you rush around the room like this, grabbing all your first aid things as quickly as possible. Usually he’d come for a patch up— not to save him before he fainted from blood loss.

“It is!“ You squeak out, back at his side and gently pushing his chest down to lay properly on the bed. It’s a matter of seconds before you have his shirt cut open, working quickly to clean the bloody skin before slipping the thread through the needle. He winces painfully as it pokes his skin, his eyebrows scrunching all the while your breaths are hitched nervously.

“Y-you’re gonna kill me..” He complains, with a groan, hoping to lighten the mood even with the current situation— it’s not like he hasn’t tried to rile you up before. It’s his love language, he can't help his nature. Even so, he’s seen you handle worse before, even having wrapped an emergency tourniquet when you got caught up in an ambush. But this, seeing him tremble, scared you— enough for your hands to tremble as you wrap a firm bandage over him. You let out a long breath, eventually rolling your eyes at his remark. “Would you prefer to bleed out all over my favourite duvet?” He lets out a little chuckle as he pushes himself up with wheezed breaths to lean against the pillows you fluffed for him. “I think I already did that part.”

The air is quiet as you clean up his blood, your rag turning a murky red. He watches you from the bed, eyes a little more awake now that the pain has eased a bit. It’s warm, on your bed, your thick duvet draped comfortably over his battered body as you stiffly place his clothes into the washing machine along with yours that had gotten drenched in his crimson. “I wish i could help you.. it doesnt feel right forcing you to clean up after me like this.” He has to cough to clear his throat, voice a little rusty. You blink up at him though, shaking your head gently as you approach the bed with water. “Only you would complain about someone taking care of you when you need it.” It’s accompanied with a half hearted smile, your eyes holding relief for his safe state.

“Hey—I’m trying to be nice. If I could, I would help you.” He mumbles out, clearly noticing the way your hand lingered as you place the water bottle on the table beside where he lays, pulling away after a few moments. “I know Leon, i know.”

He watches you finally clear up everything, before settling at the foot of the bed with your little sketchpad again. He noticed you with it in the rare moments you had free time at the DSO, always focused on it as you scribbled down little things. Once you let him sneak a peek and it was usually landscapes you’d seen when you were on field, or ones that agents described. It was a hobby that started to die out until you quit, choosing to let that be your salvation than to be another happy thing to bury for the sake of work.

“You should get some sleep, you look tired..” You’ve been doing this every time he comes around now, always sitting somewhat near him with that black book in your hands. “Cant, i’m sketchin.” You hum out, shuffling around on the bed to face him as you continue. He raises a brow at that, confused but his hands move back to adjust the pillows behind him.

“You can sketch in the morning you know.”

“Then my subject will move, and it wont look the same.”

Now he’s fully staring at you, the implications of your words not lost on him and he almost shoots to sit up straight if not for the fact of the pain running through his body. “You’ve been drawing me.. every time i come round?”

“Yeah, gotta take note of all your injuries for later.”

He gives you a look, as if calling you out on your lame excuse right then and there. “So you cant just i dont know, write it down? Take a photo?”

This time you roll your eyes up at him and come to sit a little nearer on the bed rather than near his feet. “Well then i couldn’t do this, could i?”

You turn the page around, showing him the sketched version of him who now wears an exaggerated frown as he stares out. You’ve got a knack for drawing him, the way his hair falls slightly over his eyes and even the bridge if his nose— it’s impressive. “I do not frown like that.” You let out a laugh, giggling at his reaction as you turn the sketchbook around again and carry on, all the while his mind is still stuck on the fact that you’ve been drawing him over and over.

“Guess i’m a pretty good reference then, if you’re always drawing me?” He tilts his head towards you and you snicker again, waving him off. “Dont get cocky, you’re alright.”

“Cocky? I bet i’m the only thing you draw. C’mon, rate me out of ten, theres no way i get lower than 9.”

He watches you shuffle closer to him, leaving your sketchbook to the side as you sit right by him on the bed. You begin to narrow your eyes at him, scrutinising his appearance and he’s half tempted to cower beneath your judgement. “You get.. 1 point for your hair, it’s a nice colour, but it is a little messy.” He immediately frowns at you and sits up just a little straighter than before. “I’m an agent, not a model. And I just got a drop kicked by a bioweapon. Cut me some slack.” He huffs out but you only shrug again, eyes moving towards his face instead as you cross your legs. “Hey, you asked for a rating. It’s super duper important in art you know?”

”That’s a load of crap and you know it.”

“Well, you get another point for your eyes; They’re a nice shade of blue. Also another for your nose, it curves nicely.” He raises a brow, wondering how he’s racking up so many points so quickly and he cocks his head. “You flatter me, i’ll be at ten by the time you get to my hands.” He winks cheekily, a proud grin stretching his lips wide. “Not so fast, i never said it was out of ten— 25 is the limit.”

You continue your little game, Leon scoffing as you don’t give him any points for his ‘very strong biceps’ as he says; you can only shrug, just wanting to rile him up till he pouts again. He lets you rate his body though, smirking in a cocky way as you even go as far to compliment his hands but even more so at his muscled torso— he knows you cant resist. “So how many points are we at?” He hums, enjoying the way you’ve slowly gravitated closer to him as you ramble and mumble about his features, something that's probably considered nerdy but plenty cute to watch. “I think having strong calves leaves you at… 22. That’s pretty good.”

Your lips pull wide, grinning at him and expecting him to be just as happy but instead he only gives you a short huff, crossing his arms over his chest. “Only 22? I’m not taking anything less than 24, there must be some redeeming qualities.” You roll your eyes up at him, though keeping a good eye on his torso incase of any tear of the stitches.

“Okay fine, you can get one for your biceps. Happy?”

“Nope.”

You groan, sit up straight and ogle him, eyeing him like you’re the hawk and he’s the prey, squirming beneath you uncomfortably. “Fine. You get one more.”

“Oh? I knew it.”

“You have a very huggable waist.” You giggle, snickering as you playfully plant your hands on his hips, watching something flicker through his eyes before they grow just as mischievous. “Oh? Wanna test that out?” It was a joke, or maybe it wasn't, but you didn't mind and he sure as hell didn't either. It’s stupid, and messy, the way he pulls you in for a hug and your arms are as tight as they can be around him, cheek squished against his chest.

“I was right.”

That laugh of yours is enough to make him crumble, make him want to spill every thought inside his head. The nights he wishes he was enough of a man for you, the nights he wishes he had the courage to be the one to comfort you when you quit your job, or even the day he heard someone else soothe you when you cried over another patient.

He snaps out of his thoughts, and returns the hug, his fingers lightly tickling your sides to make you squirm and scramble back, giggling all the way. “Sooo, that’s gotta be like 25 now right?”

“Nope still 24.” He groans again, and if he’s being honest he is exhausted right now, but he’d let himself bleed out tonight if it meant seeing you laugh like that again. He’s sick of sitting back and waiting for this, waiting for you to see through him, waiting for every time he’s injured to look for excuses. “How can i get the last point?” Blue eyes lock onto your face, the wrinkle of your nose and the furrow of your brows as you think, tapping your chin playfully. He knows you’re tired too, the weight in your eyes is visible but not as bad as the lack of spark in your last month at the DSO. “You have to earn it.”

Is this his chance? He could tell you all his redeeming qualities. Like how he could hold you with one hand, how his skills were unmatched to others, the feats he’s achieved. Or he could explain his care for you: how he’d protect you from any horror that came your way, how he’d kill anything that came near to harming you, how he’d quell any worry that neared your head– that he’d die for you.

You’re still sitting before him, looking at him with curious eyes as he leans forward, crossing the small distance left between the two of you. His hand reaches up, swallowing the curve of your warm cheeks as he stares at you, properly. Your noses would brush if he went any closer, he could just kiss you right now and he’d have you in the palm of his hand– even more so than he does right now. He wants you, and he wants you to want him.

“I love you,” The words slip out, intentional yet reckless all the same, a promise made that he’s not sure he can keep but he knows he’ll rather die trying than to never feel it. “And.. i’ll do anything you ask of me to prove it to you.”

It’s like slow motion the way your pupils dilate, swirling with an emotion he’s never witnessed in you before and he takes it as a good sign, his thumb gently brushing the skin below your lips. He looks at you, a silent question in his eyes, waiting for a sign of rejection, acceptance or even hesitation. You nod quietly, your hands are awkward, not knowing where to place themselves and it makes him chuckle, loving the way you falter when it comes to him. He leans in, lips pressing against your nose first just to watch the way you blink, a wide grin widening on your face in surprise before he leans in properly, hand tightening around your cheek.

“Do I get the last point now?” He asks, still enamoured by how you’re breathless, more so in shock of his confession than the short lived kiss, though that was captivating all the same. Your hand copies his motion, cupping his cheek as you lean in more fervently, capturing his lips in yours. When you finally break away you’re gasping for air, arms slung around his neck as you stare at his eyes, a pretty shade of blue. “Yeah, you’re a 25 out of 25, Leon. I wouldn't expect anything less from you.”

The reciprocation of the kiss is enough for his heart to go crazy in your palms; his cheeks lift as he grins wider and pulls you in for a proper hug, a soft kiss to your forehead for good measure. “Does this mean i cani come by without the injuries now? Just for the sake of it?”

“You always could, Leon.” You hug him back just as tight, giggling as he squirms at your eyelashes flittering against his neck. Eventually you settle him to lay down properly, with you curled around his being. His arm is weakly around your shoulders, head sunk into the pillows as he lets out a long sigh. You can only listen to the quiet thump of a content heart, your hand tracing shapes on his chest as you tenderly watch his wound, worrying about it tearing.

“Sorry for scaring you.” He murmurs quietly and you can only shake your head tiredly, craning your head up to meet his eyes again. “You’re stuck here for the next three days. Doctors orders.”

He chuckles at that, even more so as your hand reaches upwards, rubbing his jaw gently before scratching at his scalp. He returns the action, rubbing your shoulder gently as your face presses against his muscles. “Alright, alright. I can't deny that now can i?”

Bonus:

It’s his third day here, but also a Friday too. He’s still not fully healed of course, the wound still a little worrying but nothing your heart cant handle. Especially when he’s carefully looked after in your hands—- literally. The morning sun peeks through the gaps in the curtains, making you rise although not fully, still half awake as you glance over. He’s got an arm behind his head, lips parted as he drools a little, and he looks so, so relaxed. The strain of his muscles have slackened, his face looking softer, younger even, as he breathes gently. Most of all, his hand is loose around your back, fingers poking into your waist.

You cant resist, leaning upwards to his sleepy face and pressing a gentle kiss to the curve of his cheek. It’s the first time he’s ever been caught off guard, his brows twitching in confusion and he lets out another small huff, head turning in your direction as if to seek you out. It’s adorable really, and you mourn all the years you two havent been together, havent experienced this before. It’s okay, because you have the rest of eternity for the two of you— doctors orders.

[muqingslover]

[ im back pookies and today I bring the LADS boys with alcohol! disclaimer: This is based purely on my opinion so don't get your panties in a twist. Or do. They're not my panties anyway ]

Sylus holds his alcohol the best out of everyone or anyone really. He will purposely challenge others to a contest knowing full well he will easily drink them under the table.

I believe he'd need some type of special liquor to actually get drunk because his body processes alcohol differently than humans and the usual is not enough.

Drunk Sylus is the most heartwarming thing you'll ever witness. He gets drowsy a few glasses in and sloppy enough that some of his dragon features will pop out. When the alcohol rushes to his head he turns into a mushy mess that wants to hold you like a teddy bear, softly purring against you all happy as long as you're in his arms.

Better pray that it's not summer because he gets soooo damn HOT when he's drunk it's like a very large oven.

As a result of the liquor he speaks a lot slower and quieter, but he sounds so gentle when telling you how much you mean to him, how much he's missed you while waiting all those years and confesses he's afraid you don't want him by your side anymore.

"Am I still your dragon?" His words are laced with apprehensiveness and his eyes resemble puppy dog ones when gazing down at you, hoping with all his might for anything besides a rejection.

+ Bonus: His hangover is only a mild headache when he wakes up and a bit of sluggishness during the day. He might not remember everything he said, but he knows he did say something based on how you act around him.

Rafayel is next. I think he used to drink periodically and actually does enjoy the taste of alcohol, specifically old and sweet wines, so he has a good tolerance built up. On the other hand, he holds back on ingesting heavy quantities nowadays because of how he is when drunk.

Walk with me bc in this blog I preach heavy angst for the fishie.

His tongue will get very loose once he is significantly inebriated, but most definitely not in a fun way— All the ugly feelings, frustrations and sorrows Rafayel keeps bottled up in his chest would come pouring out at once.

That might prompt some old grudges his heart still holds on to over the past the two of you share to come to light in a not so kind manner and cause all sorts of misunderstandings.

Rafayel will definitely regret his words in the morning and desperately try to apologize to you. Please sit down and actually talk.

+ Bonus: His hangover is more similar to "seasickness" than an actual hangover. He throws up even on an empty stomach and just lays on the floor of his bathroom because he has no energy to move at all.

Xavier is a similar case to our neighborhood dragon, but he fits more into a healthy middle category. I think he is rather neutral towards alcohol (not being particularly fond of it nor despising it altogether) and prefers when it's used as aromatic/enhancer for food instead.

He will usually have one glass, always on a full stomach, and then focus on stuffing his cheeks with food for the rest of the night since he claims it "dulls his senses".

H o w e v e r, when the booze hits him it hits him hard. Make sure you two are home because Xavier passes out right then and there and there's absolutely no waking that man up for the next three hours.

Another reason as to why I advise you to do this at home is because he WILL wake up exactly three hours later and the first thing he does is find and grab you regardless of where you are, what you're doing or who you are with.

This is Xavier's second phase of drunkenness: The hazy stage. He functions on impulses alone and all he wants to do is touch you, be it sexually if you're willing to indulge or simply holding you hostage for cuddling until his battery runs out again.

He won't really speak besides one syllable words answers if he reaaaally has to and communicates by acting on what he wants then looking at you for a reaction.

+Bonus: He has no hangover. At all. Man's as good as new the next day after a good nap.

Caleb is a weaker than the one before but still stronger than the next. This man is not a fan of alcohol in general, neither does he like if you drink, especially if done frequently. Not surprisingly the one preaching about how bad it is for your body is him.

If he did drink often though I believe he'd actually have a high tolerance so it's really just a matter of his body not being used to it. He's the type that takes longer to get buzzed but by the time he's one and a half glasses in it's game over.

PATHETIC MAN ALERT ‼️

His drunkenness has three stages:

We start off strong with his extroverted side receiving a big boost and suddenly he's the life of the party. He needs a literal leash because you blink and he's just gone ALNST reference!?. You'll find him outside doing the most random activity you can possibly imagine like finding something to show you (he might have stolen someone's dog without meaning to) or singing while laying down on the grass.

When you firmly tell him to stop and come along we hit pathetic dog stage. He is kneeling in front of your seat while holding you tightly by the waist, face buried into your lap as he asks you to not be mad at him because he hates fighting with you. Not even ten minutes later you'll feel your clothes getting damp from his tears because he feels dejected now that you're "all grown up and don't need him anymore" and how you apparently "hate him".

Finally, his unmatched self-control is the last one to go and, given the right opportunity, he will kiss you until both of you are out of breath and then pass out on top of you.

+Bonus: He does get a hangover, but only for the first few hours of the morning while his body is still waking up. For the rest of the day his muscles just feel really stiff and he's more irritable than usual.

Zayne is the biggest lightweight of all history and should have a sign around his neck that says "Do not give me alcohol". I believe he has a critical view on it— He knows it has both upsides and downsides so, unlike his bestie jk, he will tell you to drink with caution and follow the same advice though he leans more towards avoiding it completely for most the time.

While he will usually measure his words and only act after a certain amount of thought is given this man has absolutely zero control over himself when intoxicated.

He won't appear drunk at all, except for the flushed ears, until you talk to him and realize the filter between his brain and mouth is gone with the wind. You also need to keep Zayne far away from stores otherwise he will come back with six to eight different bags of sweets, plushies and some pet items because he's decided tonight is the night he gets a cat.

After chasing him, that was chasing a cat, around the neighborhood for an hour he will give up and looks so defeated while just sitting there it's both hilarious and endearing.

Please put him to bed and reassure him that all animals are not, in fact, plotting against him nor is he a "naturally bred cat repeller".

+Bonus: He has the biggest hangover known to man. The sound of his own voice makes him feel as if his head is being pounded like a church bell and the mortifying memories, oh yes he remembers every. single. thing, do not help him at all.

[justarkive]

MAGIC | jeon jungkook

pairing : jungkook x f!reader

genre: smut smut smut , angsty ? minimal fluff tbh 18+

warnings: nudity, infidelity, swearing, cheating, jk is such a dick and so is oc tbh! (i do NOT support these actions lol)

smut warnings: jerking off, unprotected but not p in v, mean jk during sex, grinding, choking ¿ nipple + boobies play, i hate warnings sm pls lmk if ive missed any lol

wc: i have no idea how to check im so srry

this fic does not reflect the real jungkook/other members involved and is simply fiction!

A/N: this is my first fanfic guysss!!! pls pls pls dont b afraid to lmk what you think, idk if ill make a pt2 but if anyone even reads then i might! im not too sure if i like this myself though!! also not proofread sorry about any mistakes!!! ill stfu now!!

read part 2 here: MAGIC pt II

read my other work here: masterlist

It’s raining today, and you can’t help but shuffle your legs around under your blanket, gravitating towards the miniscule warmth that he had left there last night. That manly, musky scent clutches onto the fibres of your silk sheets. Though your not sure if its just burned into your memory, with your desperation for a small slither of his essence convincing you its still all over your sheets.

The rain patters against the window the same way it did when he was here, when you’d had reconnected, the sheets were still rumpled in the way he was laying there, only the candles which had given up within the night and him were no longer there.

Its cyclical, comical, hilarious. He’ll come, plushie in hand and a stupid grin on his face asking to, in Jeon Jungkooks word’s: chill. Then you’d tangle up in your sheets, he’d call his girlfriend saying he’s caught up with work, and leave before you wake up.

It’s pitiful for you, and you cant help but laugh at yourself every morning.

Eventually realizing that there is stuff to be done, your legs are thrown off your bed and you mewl while rubbing your eyes, a quick glance to the mirror beside you gives you a clear view of your bare body. Your knees are bruised and there are hickeys all over your neck.

You guess its time to go mormon style.

———

You ignore the comments from your fellow workers asking what the fuck you have on right now. This morning, the sulk session lasted an hour too long resulting in you turning up late to work in a bright red turtleneck and leggings. Your day went by quick, your boss giving you the simple tasks of cleaning tables and restocking the display fridge.

But with an hour of your shift, you’d realised you spoke too soon when you see an all too familiar tattooed hand swinging in your peripheral vision.

Your heart is literally in your stomach, swimming in the acid once you also realise he is not alone and she is with him.

Shes clutching onto his hands like a koala, hair curled and face rubbing against his chest. For now, he hasn’t seen you, and you really fucking hope he do-

“__?”

Shit.

Immediately, you scuffle around, dropping the mop you were using to clean up one of your regular’s coffee spills. Sending him an awkward nod and smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, you bend down to grab it, quickly coming back up mentally preparing yourself for this awkward interaction coming.

“Jung-kook… what are you doing here?” Annoyed since he’s chosen here out of all places to get coffee with his girlfriend. You make sure to keep your noise level down, considering she’s ordering just a couple feet away.

He smirks at you, taking the mop from your hands and twirling it around. Classic Jeon Jungkook, cocky bastard.

“What? I cant get coffee with my girl?” You roll your eyes, trying to cover up the fact he’s casually talking about his girl dosent make you feel like hes sharpened the mop and stabbed it through your stomach.

“Yeah? Add: coming to the workplace of the girl you fuck behind her back to that.”

You both immediately shut up when you hear a clacking of heels coming your way, Jungkook giving you an eyeroll whilst handing you your mop.

“__! Its great to see you, how have you been? I see your still working here, what happened to getting a better job?”

Eunbi. Arrogant, cocky, bitch! You seriously dont know how he puts up with her.

“Actually Eunbi im still studying before i get a better job, and if your so interested, Im sure Jungkook can tell you all about it, i have stuff to do, enjoy your food.” I hope they poisoned it.

For some context, You and Eunbi met first through your brother since they being in the same social circle, she quickly became good friends with him. Eventually, she got kicked out of her college dorm and moved in with you and Taehyung for a bit.

Then she starting bringing Jungkook there.

Jungkook and Tae then got really close, which led to him sometimes coming over without Eunbi and well… The rest is obvious.

Your situation with Jungkook happened one night when you, him and Tae got really drunk. He’d passed out on your bed and you refused to sleep on your brother’s. Innocent brushes of skin led to heavy makeout sesh’s and then the ripping of condoms.

The reason you hate Eunbi so much was because she invaded your space, even before she’d gotten with Jungkook, she’d treat you and Tae as if you were her personal maids which is what eventually led you to saving your money and getting a small student flat a few minutes away from yours and Tae’s apartment. Now, he lives with Jungkook and Eunbi.

Before you’d moved out, you had a serious talk with Taehyung insisting that she’d pay the rent once you’d left and to no longer be leeching off of him. With a sad goodbye, he’d promised you it wouldn’t happen ever again.

———

Its 9:00pm, after a shit-show day at work you seriously need some junk food in your system to make some part of you feel good. You procrastinate for a minute, the couch feeling far too warm to get up and grab your phone, but a knock on the door has you getting onto your feet quickly.

You already know who it is, but you check the peephole before opening. Safety first, duh!

A large, doe-eye is taking up your viewpoint. Making silly faces to the door as if he knows you’re looking… (he does.)

A part of you imagines what would happen if you just didn’t open the door. You cant help but feel the pangs of guilt every time he comes over, but whatever magic spell he’s casted on you has got you twisting your keys around and welcoming him in… The spell being a bag of takeout of course!

“I guessed you were hungry since you left your shift late, also Eunbi wont get off my back, She wants me home before 12:00, told her I was meeting up with friends.”

Huh. Explains why he’s so dressed up. You arent complaining though, the double denim is seriously doing something to you right now.

You bite your lip before contemplating what your about to say to him, worse that can happen is you he’ll storm out and the dick appointment will then be cancelled.

“It’s still a miracle how we get away with this shit, Kook. Why don’t you just leave her? You know she treats you like shit.”

You straighten the shoes he removes off his feet by your door before following him to your kitchen where he takes a seat on the island. His jaw clenches for a mere second before he looks at you before scoffing.

“And get beat up by your brother? No thanks. __ Im not having this conversation tonight, so just eat.” Opening the bag of takeaway, he pulls out a box for you and for him.

“Im being serious Jungkook, the more we keep fucking around like this the more likely we’re both getting beat up! And your excuses? They’re getting shitter by the minute.”

“Tell me __, are you asking to stop this?” He’s motioning his fingers between you, and your breath catches in your throat.

“W-what? Im not-“ Stepping out of his chair, hes coming towards you and before you know it, hes tilting your chin up and boring into your eyes with a grin.

“Spit it out, baby.”

You take a hold of his hand, shoving it off of your face and willing yourself to speak up. “Kook- stop. This is seriously not right, we cant do this any lon-“

Before you know it, his lips are on yours. And just like always, you give in. Kissing back, yet when he pulls away ever so slightly you find yourself whispering against his lips about how much you cant do this.

But like clockwork, you end up on the kitchen counter with one of his hands in your pyjama shorts and his tatted hand around your neck.

Your mewling in his mouth when his fingers finally slip into your soaked panties and start rubbing your clit. He pulls back and chuckles when you chase his lips.

“C’mon baby, tell me, you wanna stop? Cause this pussy’s telling me something else,”

And for some reason, you tell him you do.

You immediately regret it when his hands leave your panties. The warmth which was from his breath fanning on your face and his hands around your neck is suddenly replaced by air which feels far colder than usual.

Something in Jung-kook’s demeanour seems to have changed, he seems almost, mad?

“Alright, I wanted to be nice to you tonight baby, but it seems like you wanna be a brat, and so be it, strip.”

Jeon Jungkook and his damn magic.

Your camisole and shorts are on the floor in seconds, he’s watching you intently. Casually leaning his hands against the counter behind him. Tatted fingers unzip his jeans, pulling out his semi hardened cock giving it a few languid strokes before taking a few steps before he’s towering over you again.

Your hand reaches for his dick, but he stops you. “Wha-“

“Sit on the counter.”

“But its cold! Ah!” Your protest was useless, his arms effortlessly picking you up and plopping you on the counter. The cold marble chills your ass cheeks before he’s spreading your legs apart and staring at your pussy. Like this, a wave of embarrassment washes over you from the feeling of being exposed and you instinctively try to close your legs, but his iron fucking grip on your thighs makes sure that’s not happening.

“You’re gonna sit there, with a wet fucking pussy, and watch me jerk off, and then i’m gonna cum on it. Im gonna cum on it and if you’re good, i’ll consider fucking it into you after.” He seethes, dropping his jeans to his knees and fisting his cock rapidly in front of your pussy.

You mentally scream at yourself to never pull this shit again, cause the sight of his wet cock being jerked off by the same hand that was in your pussy makes you leak out even more onto the counters. Youre subconsciously grinding your hips into the air, whimpering cause your so touch deprived and watching Jeon Jungkook Jerk off in front of you was seriously not helping.

Suddenly, hes pulling you off the counter and turning you around. You squeal while preparing for the intrusion of his cock however you feel it being jerked between your ass cheeks and you ultimately just wanna scream.

“Please, Kook I- i need-“ His hands come around to your neck, applying pressure to it, the other travelling to your tits and squeezing them.

“Fuck.” His lips press against your ear as hes sloppily licking and kissing your earlobes, pinching your nipples and moaning right into your fucking brain. “Im gonna come fuck.”

Immediately, you turn around, getting back onto the counter with his help, his moans increase in volume as he jerks off his angry cock faster and faster in his fist, before suddenly hes pressing his lips to yours and moaning louder than ever tonight and cumming all over your pussy.

You moan into his mouth, watching lines of cum stream onto your stomach and down to your ass, revelling in the slight stimulation you get from the warmth of his cum on your long forgotten clit.

“Please.” You’re begging, on the verge of tears. You sloppily kiss his lips, frantically sucking on them and grinding against his still hard cock to the best of your ability in this position before a phone ringing in his jeans pocket interrupts.

You frown, seriously hoping its not who you think it is.

“Wait baby, let me jus-“

“Please, Kook”

He picks up the phone regardless, “Baby?”

The re-use of the pet name has your stomach twisting in regret. “Yeah? Are you okay?… Eun-… I’ll be home in 10.”

His phone is placed back down onto the counter, “Are you seriously leaving?”

He looks at you for a long time, his own heart twisting at how your eyes have suddenly gotten glossier. “You know i can’t stay after she’s called me, and it’s almost 12, baby. Tomorrow?”

He says it so fucking casually it makes you blink back your tears and pick up your soiled panties off the floor. You quickly move behind him to pack the takeaway back into the bag, as he watches in confusion.

“__? What are you doing?”

“Just leave, Kook.” You try your hardest to ignore the feeling of his cum sandwiched between your folds and panties, but its like a constant reminder that Jeon Jungkook will always be there.

He’s throwing his jeans on and gives you one last look before walking to your door. “Im sorry. Ill text you,”

You don’t say anything, stretching your arm out to give him the takeaway, “You don’t want it?”

“No, I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Im sorry, __”

You exchange one more glance at him standing in your doorway before closing it, realising that he’s going home and it wont be with you.

—

That night, you spend an hour on your shower floor, the cum washed away and long forgotten in the drains.

That morning, you will reply to Jeon Jungkook when he messages you.

Him and his damn magic.

[ho-4-sho]

when i'm in an especially bad place i tell myself “the karasuno boys could never” but the other day i stopped and reflected bc there’s no way that’s true.

so, without further ado, find out if your favorite karasuno boy has …

✨ d e p r e s s i o n ✨

tw: depression.

asahi - the most clinically depressed person on the team and he cannot figure out how to manage it properly. has tried like 4 different meds and none of them work right. if he misses a day or even just takes them a few hours late he’s a total wreck from the side effects. also he defo needs a new therapist bc his doesn't structure visits in a way that is helpful, but one of asahi's issues is people pleasing so he can't break up with him

tsukki - ceo of “have you looked around lately? of course I’m depressed,” except it's been like that since the end of primary school. he doesn’t think he’s actually depressed (he is). and even if he was, it’s not like it’s bad enough that anyone would prescribe him medication for it (they would). hates the thought of medication because he’s afraid that he won’t feel like himself. his brother is his number one supporter and is quick to remind tsukki that he would drop everything for him if need be

yams - part of why he and tsukki are so close is because yamaguchi can empathize with him in ways other kids their age can't. it's a big part of why their friendship is so strong. sure, tsukki stood up to his bullies and that is a big part of why yams feels comfortable around him, but yamaguchi makes tsukishima feel comfortable by never making him feel the need to explain himself. even if they think and express themselves differently, yams gets him. v different experiences tho, i mean, they're wayyy different people. the empathy yams has for others because of his depression is not tsukki-specific, but he kind of tunes it out in his bullying era because he cares about tsukki and he can't go back to how things were before. that said he for sure can't fall asleep sometimes thinking about whether his not standing up for someone/egging tsukki on makes him just as bad as his own bullies all those years ago. yams is medicated, but unlike asahi, the first medication he tried was a perfect fit lucky bastard

suga - even though suga is the perfect mom, his parents think that kids these days are too soft and that medication won’t solve anything. definitely got a soft diagnosis from a school counselor or at an annual doctor’s visit and waved it off since he knew it isn’t something he can think about too seriously. is quick to take other people's struggles very seriously though

bonus (if you can call it that) - not from karasuno:

oikawa - similar to suga, his parents (specifically his dad) don’t believe in mental health as a concept. unlike suga... lowkey... oikawa has some old-fashioned thoughts on therapy, but it's just bc he knows he needs it

tendou - this man has been in therapy since like kindergarten. we've all seen his flashback. also depression exacerbated by adhd im not projecting, you’re projecting.

kenma - i needn't say more.

author's note: i know this is a difficult subject for a lot of people and i hope that this is helpful in some way like it was to me. don't listen to oikawa's dad. your mental health does matter (very much) and i am wishing you all the best <3

[mothwiingz]

do anyone else’s parents make comments about how they’re “never satisfied” and imply that they just want disability aids for the sake of having them, every time they ask for help?

my crutches have hard plastic handles, which left my hands badly bruised and unable to fully put my weight on them for several days, after the first time i used them. and my dad scolded me for asking for handle pads, saying stuff like “we just spent so long getting you these crutches (months long insurance struggle) and now you want even more stuff. what’s it going to be next? when are you ever going to be satisfied? when is this going to stop?”. he said the same things when i very briefly proposed the idea of me using a wheelchair for the days when i’m in sm pain that i miss school & can’t even eat or think without a high dose of v strong pain meds. he also often says stuff like “how do you even know you have this condition? you’re so sure of it but you haven’t even been diagnosed*. i mean, some of these doctors don’t even think you have it**. what if you don’t need any of this stuff*** that you’re so so sure you need?”

*extremely long waitlist to see a geneticist; we’re 95% sure i have hEDS & it’s on my medical record as ‘highly likely’.

**a few docs think i’m not “obviously hypermobile” because my joints don’t have a dangerous amount of laxity. i am a 9/9 on the Beighton scale. of course, none of these doctors have much experience with EDS.

***i use forearm crutches, formerly used a cane from february 2024 to august 2024, and have tried to ask for a knee brace.

its just every time i Do need more support with disability aids, he implies that i just want them for fun. he acts like im just a child asking for fancier toys. when i just want to be able to live comfortably. and it makes me feel so so so self conscious every time i ask for even the smallest bit of support. something as small as getting a higher dose on my meds. i just wanna be able to live my life without being afraid to walk bc of the amount of strain it puts on my faulty knee joints that go backwards every step i take. and being unable to think all the time, pooled up blood pricking at the scars on my legs, losing so much energy for every second i spend standing or walking, NEARLY PASSING OUT WHEN I STRETCH OR GO UP STAIRS, all bc my body’s connective tissue is too weak to properly circulate blood. all i want is a better quality of life but hes made me feel self conscious and ungrateful for it.

[tremendum]

i wasn't prepared for you coming back! it's a christmas miracle HAHA. hushh, if it means nothing to anyone then i'm dead haha. THATS SO COOL. do you have any pictures you'd feel comfortable posting? i'd LOVE to see them. ah that's so so cool!!!!!

i'm still alive at the moment! my birthday was a few days ago, i'm currently healing from surgery (v minor no worries), i had therapy yesterday and im getting more tattoos on thursday! i've also been reading so many fucking books?? wild. but that pretty much sums it all up i'm afraid haha. i've missed u so much, i thought you were fucking dead HAHA. i was like 'she does so much crazy shit, and she fucking died from doing something' 😭😭

hahaha im happy to be here im still so thrown that i got back into this i even made a new acc and everything. but anyways thank you!! i broke my phone and had to get a new one when i got back and it wasn't backed up </3 SO i'll text my friends to get some of the pics we took and show them! it was v fun :)

yay im happy u are :') and STOP HAPPY BDAY BABY! hope your surgery went well and your recovery is swift :) yay tattoos today?! what are you getting this time? i cant wait to hear about them !! ALSO PLS WHAT BOOKS?? im in my rereading part of the year so if u have suggestions for books id love to hear.

and oh my god i inow i am so sorry i rly said 'im going backpacking for a month bye!' then never came back. soi IM SO SORRY

[luetta]

i'm going back to what 16 year old me used to do in full swing i think. type to myself on dead forums. wanna know a story about me? i used to post on that nazi reddit alternative website voat. for years. not anything political, i just made a subreddit that was my username and made posts everyday about how obsessed i was about a girl called rebekah in the grade above me. i never talked to her a single time in my life. she was just pretty. hundreds of posts. eventually randoms on the website found my posts through the new section and started commenting how creepy i was. and then i guess i referred to myself as a waitress and they started thinking i was a girl who had a lesbian crush. of course i did nothing to disavow that notion. and then when i was with my friend finlay in class, i was on a school provided laptop, seeing what the suggested autocomplete web searches for a, b, c, etc were. and when i looked up 'v' it came up with 'voat [my username]. i guess on this laptop sometime before i had searched it up. i begged him not to look it up and deleted it all the moment i got home but he just went on internet archive and essentially held this blackmail over my head for about 3 months. at the end of high school finlay wasnt popualr in our group (there was always someone who was the cyberbullied person of the day in our group.) and i honestly did a fucking asshole thing. i always say that i was nice and just a victim of this mean group but i did this thing, which completely undoes all that. there was a barbeque for the entire grade on a saturday, school organised but essentually our own thing. in the discord finlay was wondering whether to come, lots of us were there already. i said that there was barely anyone here lol. and that was a complete lie. i lied and made him miss this event for no reason other than to dogpile on him. that night everyone was fighting and i chimed in and he told everyone about my voat account and also about how we had accidentally discovered each other in a league of legends erotic roleplay discord server. so yeah that was fun. i refused to talk to him for like 2 years lol. anyways. the point of this is to say. that im gonna start doing that again i think. post a bunch of stream of consciousness text posts of angst and self loathing and envy and hatred. cus i feel like shit and that's my self harm. im too much of a pussy to do anything else when i feel like shit. i just sit on the computer and make myself feel worse. this can be my self therapy. getting my thoughts out instead of letting them fester inside my brain forever. i can't be fucked going to therapy properly. it doesnt help cus idk how to articulate anything properly. ill get asked whats wrong and ill be like. i dont know. and honestly thats barely a lie. i dont fucking know whats wrong with me. i know that there is something wrong with me, but i dont know the reason why ive turned out like this. im just a fucking weirdo i think. i literally thought that i wasnt a creep anymore after transitioning, that i figured it out. but nope. im still a fucking creep, thinking about girls that i know, obsessing about them. urgh. i feel like. i've fucked my transition up. i fucked up the choices that i didn't know were choices and now im someone i don't want to be. i just want to be someone else but thats not possible because the person that i am, currently, isn't someone that can be someone else. i know that you can just change who you are ! you can do new things and stop doing old things. you can be someone else. but i just cant. i try but i just always circle back to this. uninteresting blob of a person. who does nothing except sit in their room and wish they were someone else. an uninteresting blob of envy. that's all i am and will ever be, i feel. and that sucks. i dont want to be that, but there's nothing else i can do about that. im too uninteresting and unadventurous and afraid to reach out and form connections to people that i wanna. cus thats how you change as a person. by being with other people. you slowly give each other parts of yourself

[fairyhaos]

yena !! i hope u still remember me ʕ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ it's the wind chime anon !! 🎐

how have u been omg (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) i had my exams last month n i have da notifs on for way too many blogs on here so i just uninstalled tumblr instead,,, but im back now (i was about to send this ask sooner (2 days ago ?) but i was a bit scared lmao,,, but i just saw ur post about shua so i had to come and say hi >:3) but wahh congrats on all ur milestones ! before i left i think u were about to start ur 500 followers event ! ! n i think u crossed 1234 already !! and probably even more ! that's supa cool n 'm so so proud of you ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა also i love love love ur new theme *ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩

ooo n about finding jeonghan's colour,,, u looked at his pictures to figure out what colour he is ?? that's super intriguing actually. bcs the thing is idk if i have this type of synesthesia,,, im afraid what im doing is just strongly associating colours with people ? like the aspects of their personality play a major role in determining their colour but similar to the process of getting to know someone, it's v hard for me to decide on their colour. for example, jihoon. it's like, , the more i see him the more i feel like i don't even know him yk? for hansol, even tho i don't know what his colour is, i can at least tell that his colour would most prolly be a cooler shade. but for jihoon n sometimes even mingyu i can't rly figure them out? it's like i have options but i don't know for sure. n i don't rly know if this is synesthesia ?? lmdoajdjska i think i should just take the test by synesthesia battery but im just scared lmao </3

anygays i read the rest of your synesthesia posts and wahh, , yena ur just so talented. ur so cool ! ! i rly don't know what else to say. you have a way w words and it's as if i can feel the colors permeating through the descriptions. honestly it's such a gift to be able to share your vivid perception with others and i just wanna thank u for that (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) i have sm to say about each member's colour and esp shua's but this got rly long so i'll do that in another ask ?? heh >:3

-🎐

WIND CHIME ANON OMGGGG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU :<

i hope you've been doing okay!! how did your exams go????? literally i'd be sitting here and just thinking :(( i hope wind chime anon is doing okay in this world :(( haha ive missed you sm

it's okayy there's no need to be scared im super nice!! (i think?) thank u sm for loving my new theme too haha i love it a lot as well

and abt jeonghan: yeah! honestly synaesthesia is a really really different experience for anyone so i like to think of it as one of those sexuality labels. if you feel like it fits, then you're allowed to use it! those tests online are sketchy af anyways unless you wanna pay for a Real and Scientific Test

i think assigning colours to vibes and personalities is very interesting though!! i don't think i could do that haha, personalities have always just been so complex and different for me that a colour just doesn't come to mind at all (i don't think my synaesthesia works in that way lmao) so that's really really fascinating! honestly tho,,, im also struggling w jihoon too and maybe that's bc i haven't spent several minutes just Staring at his face yet but i just have a gut feeling that he's gonna be one tough cookie

aww thank u so much please that's so lovely to hear ^^ that really makes me the happiest oml, being told that people are able to feel my writing and my descriptions <3

aww yess please do lmk what you think of the others !! it's so nice to see you in my inbox again 💗

[somer-writes]

i do in fact have professional bully services for hire. ur mama jokes are complimentary. making fun of someones teeth is an additional charge. glad to know that "chaos" seems to be my common denominator XD

ok i apologize if i miss anyone but lets get this bread

@estelian-01 an absolute sweetheart. rare breed of horse that is genuinely kind and lovely. srs i dont even know how you exist perhaps youre the second coming or smth. cinnamonroll that learned to read. i would kill for you.

@rosehipandroots bestie <3 leaves v thoughtful comments and is a fellow twilight kicker. good angst :D isnt afraid to show the boys' darker sides

@needfantasticstories v good fluff writer, v kind and genuine, leaves v nice comments <3 also beta reads for cheeto :D skippy peanut butter

@evablueblanket a literal infant. somehow gained sentience at 3 months old and has unrestricted internet access.

@ladye-zelda she is beauty. she is grace. she is very kind <3

@wanderlustmagician would help me fight raccoons in a turf war over a dumpster. probably knows how to make a bomb. "theres an au for that". very creative and colorful writer. lots of ethereal prose.

@hotcheetohatredwastaken my mortal enemy. arch nemesis. incorrect about condiment usage. extremely good at planning and a very diligent and thoughtful writer. no detail goes unexplored

@pickpocketwatch dislikes arguing about mayonnaise. sentient child.

@majorproblems77 good angst. really good angst. writes the suicskyde fic.

@marcusdoodlesalot fellow gay. we stand for the f(l)ag. shadlink but make it queer.

@hyruledwarriorr the captain ever. extraordinarily kind. enjoys socializing

@sunny-porridge pfp makes me giggle. leaves extremely good comments which often make me laugh out loud

@octolingo-writes extremely sweet individual. talented writer. enjoys that underwater show that isnt bubble guppies

again im sorry if i missed anyone!!! lmk and i will add you to the list :D

[jasperakalucy]

as someone who (was) just a casual in rtumblr

why is there a hot cup???? and what other weird shit have I missed out in here????

I'm only at surface level but it's already getting SO weird (affectionate)

Toy! Hi!

This ask is very funny and endearing to me because you are the second person to ask me about cupcler (granted, the first was an irls irl, and you know me from secret santa, but I digress. I like to think I seem approachable)

I have another post explaining cupcler lore here. But if you want in depth lore, check out @/perplexing-news ! They are very cool! This tag is excellent (#the story so far) but they reblog every rp post

And if you really want an explanation from me, well, here:

Imagine if you will. RTGame. What if he was the onceler? What if he was sans? What if he was every tumblr sexyman? What if he was anyone, or no one at all? What if he was god? What does that mean? (here is the doc of all the RT AUs. Yes. It’s a lot [also thank you @/my-name-is-daniel-yes for this])

And then, of course, there were ask blogs of RT forms. Well, someone has to interact with the ask blogs, don’t they? We need characters for that. So OCs were created, employees of the RT onceler (RTcler or Dancler) factory. Storylines formed, like an improvised soap opera. And slowly the RT forms weren’t as important as the characters we made ourselves.

Important terminology here, though I believe it’s common in other fandoms as well: c![name] refers to the character, while cc![name] is the irl person. (don’t ask me why, I don’t know.)

I don’t like to single people out, because I enjoy every OC in their own way. They all have their own stories. But c!Fluffy does run the Board, (WARNING IT WILL LAG YOUR PHONE /lh) which seems to be the center of a lot of controversy.

I’d say they’re a good place to start, if you want to roleplay or get more in depth lore. But cc!Fluffy’s blog is filled with the longest posts known to man, not even counting the Board. /pos, because I adore cc!Fluffy, but be warned 😅

c!Plex also has his own lore. But their blog is meticulously organized and they just recently posted an update to ‘the story so far,’ which. Well, it’s a nice coincidence you’re joining now.

I hope this isn’t too overwhelming! It’s great to have you here! And there’s absolutely no judgement if you decide you only want to interact with RT focused content. Many people do that.

‘rtumblr’ is a weird, broad form, for both RT tumblr and the roleplay within it. But everyone here is very very awesome and kind and talented. <3

Thank you for participating in secret santa, and thank you for asking me about this nonsense!!

[house-of-slayterr]

Daddy’s Home!:

Tag: @howl-fantasies @flaysthings @keffirinne

Basil’s POV:

I was entirely annoyed at this point. Maggie had gone on far too long pretending she was ok. You think after we had to learn the hard way about Miss Pepper, she’d learn to come to one of us by now. But she was still keeping her secrets. The front door open and I saw a familiar figure come through the door.

“How’s my favourite little puppy?” Y/N greeted condescendingly.

I rolled my eyes.

“Ooo, someone’s in a mood today. Do tell! Who does mommy have to kill this time?”

I laughed lowly.

“You can’t kill this problem Y/N. Im afraid you have an attachment to her already”

“Ugh are you still worried about Maggie? She’s a big girl Basil, she doesn’t need to sit in a circle and talk about her feelings.”

“Has she, or has she not been more jumpy recently?”

I knew it was unwise to talk to Y/N like that? But I’ll deal with the consequences later. She raised a brow at me before she answered.

“I suppose.”

“Has she not been avoiding everyone and always at her store?”

“That is true too, boy spit it out!” Y/N warned.

“She has a habit of hiding things that she thinks she can handle, but she really can’t. I have a feeling this is one of those things.”

Y/N spun a knife around in her hand, fidgeting with it. She seemed to think over my words.

“Is it really bothering you that much?” She finally asked.

“Yes.”

“Well then, get your coat.”

I didn’t like the look on her face. It was never good for anyone when Y/N was focused on something. Once she had a goal, it had to be reached. Obviously I didn’t hesitate, when Y/N tells you to do something you do it. I followed her out the door and outside.

“Seems Maggie will just have to take an early lunch today. She’s her own boss, don’t see why she’d say no. And if she does well-“

I knew she didn’t mean to insinuate she was going to use the knife on Maggie. But wouldn’t she? Wasn’t she capable of that? She’d been rough with me before, not that I minded. I had super human healing. But Maggie wasn’t so lucky. It didn’t take much for normal people to piss of Y/N Zsasz. But she considered us Family, whatever that meant to her. She wasn’t so quick to physical rage with us.

But I would never let it escalate to that, even though I doubted it would. We walked in silence the rest of the way, sneaking in through the back door of the flower shop.

“Oh Maggie Dearest, Mother is here.” Y/N said in a sing song tone.

I rolled my eyes.

“Normal people don’t break in through the back, during business hours.” Maggie said nonchalantly.

She was rushing around the store. There were a few customers, but once they saw Y/N they cleared out.

“And now you’re scaring off my customers, fantastic!” Maggie huffed.

“Don’t get short with me little miss.” Y/N warned.

It was then that Maggie seemed to finally notice my presence, she sent a small wave and smiled. She knew better than to ignore the woman, so she walked behind the register and sat on her stool. Turning her attention to us.

“Did something happen? Is everyone ok?” She asked worriedly.

I have a quick nod.

“Little Basil here wanted to have a little.. chat.”

Maggie swallowed, understanding the purpose of Y/N’s tone.

“Have I done something wrong?” She asked me.

“Maggie I’m worried about you.”

“Please, Basil, not this again. I told you I’m fine.”

“But you’re not! Everyone can see that! Even V is worried about you now.”

She fidgeted with her hands.

“What are you not telling us?”

“Remember your promise little florist.” Y/N warned.

She sighed.

“It’s not something anyone can fix so can we just drop it? Wants the point of bringing it up? You’re only gonna get mad at me.” She pointed at Y/N.

“Is it something worth getting mad about?” She tested.

“No, but you’ll think I’m stupid. Maybe I am.”

“Well then my opinion of you wouldn’t change.”

Y/N was very good about getting under people’s skin. Pushing them where she knew it hurt. Maggie frowned, plucking petals off a bouquet in front of her.

“Just promise you won’t yell , ok, scold me all you want but I really can’t handle that right now.”

I glanced to Y/N. I hardly ever raised my voice so I knew the question wasn’t pointed at me.

“Fine. Now tell us.”

“Have you guys heard of Scarecrow yet?”

“The new villain who recently popped up and terrorised the narrows. Yeah I’ve heard of him.” Y/N said nonchalantly.

“Well I’m was there at the time. It wasn’t his fault-“

“Stop trying to defend villains Maggie. You do realise we make a conscious choice to do what we do right? What is it Bob Ross says about Happy accidents?”

I just stood, listening intently. Glad Maggie would finally tell us what was wrong. Maybe she didn’t think we could help, but we always found a way. We protect our own.

“It wasn’t his fault!” She snapped.

I was taken aback. Maggie wasn’t one for yelling. She sighed, lowering her tone once more when Y/N raised a brow at him.

“He’s just a kid, and I don’t want either of you threatening him ok. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“You’re still not telling us.” I pointed out.

“My minds been frazzled ok. I’m falling apart at the seems and it’s not going away. So I’m doing the only thing I know how to do, pushing forward and pretending like it’s not happening.”

I frowned. Sure we would all be considered crazy by any of the citizens of Gotham. But from the perspective, Maggie was the most sane out of us. And to hear her sound this scared, broke my heart. As much as it could break.

“He used his fear gas on you didn’t he?” Y/N asked.

I would have to research this kid. Figure out what he was doing and how it effected the human body. Maybe there was a way to reverse it.

“When I went to get Oswald’s gift, he thought I was gonna hurt him. And according to him he gave me “too much” he offered to “fix” me but I don’t think I want that.”

“He has a solution to fix you and you said no?” I asked wearily.

That didn’t make any sense to me. But with the sleep deprivation, I wasn’t surprised she wasn’t thinking clearly.

“And what was his solution?” Y/N asked.

Before she sounded bored, but now she actually sounded concerned. Angry even.

“Give me more. Overwhelmed my system until the need for fear is obsolete.” Maggie said. “But you don’t understand, it was awful. It still is awful. I can’t do that.”

“Maggie, you’re stronger than you think. But I think you made the right call. Not about, not telling us, but about avoiding this. I’m sure Ed could come up with a different solution.” Y/N said rationally.

“Would it be so bad?” I asked.

Maggie scoffed.

“Of course you would at that Mr, I don’t have feelings. People need fear, I need fear.”

“And what are you so afraid of if you don’t?”

“Basil, I’ve already made incredibly morally incorrect choices since moving here. But I get it, that’s just how Gotham is. If I lose this, I’ll end up another nameless face in Arkham. If I don’t have fear to hold me back I-“

“You’ll lose control.” Y/N finished.

She reached into her bag, pulling out a cigarette. She offered one to Maggie and I, but we both declined.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought it would have wear off more by now, fade with time, but the nightmares won’t go away. Even when I’m awake.”

Y/N and I both knew it. Maggie had Great potential, but that was dangerous. If she got into the wrong hands, she could be the downfall of Gotham, instead of helping to uphold it. And from her past, she was easily manipulated. It’s why we kept her far far away from people like Jerome. People who were genuinely insane. Jerome could not run Gotham, he can’t even lead his gang of faceless goons.

“Then we make you not afraid of the nightmares. A new fear arises it, we squash it. Simple.”

But that wasn’t simple. I didn’t know everything about Humans but they weren’t simple creatures. My sister knew that. Maggie laughed.

“Sure. Why not. What have I got to lose at this point.”

“Only your sanity, but I think that’s overrated anyway my dear.”

Maggie rolled her eyes.

“Please you’re the most sane person in the mansion. Your the only one besides me who can talk some reason into Oswald.”

Y/N laughed something fierce. Placing her hand on Maggie shoulder.

“Maybe you should close for the day, we could go back home.” She offered.

“Why the hell not, no one is coming with in a mile of this place if they think you’re in the area.” Maggie joked.

It was nice to see them throwing little jabs at each other, getting along. Nice to see Maggie smiling even if it was only for a few seconds. Y/N waited out back for us, seemingly calling Tabitha me Butch with the limbo. And I followed her around the store, helping with little closing tasks.

“B could you move that big plant in front of the door?”

“Sure?”

“It’s to keep people out.”

“It’s a glass door Maggie they can just break and it come through.” I said bluntly.

She laughed, throwing her head back.

“Go on Basil, get your hand near the actually flower of the plant and tell me if you want to break into my store. Carry it it by the pot, always!”

Curiosity got the better of me and I stuck my hand out to the plant. Little tendrils reached out toward my warmer skin. Probably how this specific is of plant hunts, must be carnivorous. Similar to a Venus fly trap. I was hardly surprised, we had things like this on my planet. And Maggie had ordered from a new service now that Ivy had been struck down. I pulled my hand away as one of the tendrils swiftly cut a Knick on my palm. Maggie placed a hand on my back.

“Awww, he likes you. The delivery boy accidentally lost two fingers but I patched him up and gave him a $100 tip, I mean I did warn him.”

It was funny how casually she could say stuff like this now. She wasn’t nearly as shy and timid as when we first met nearly a year ago now. And she was nothing like the girl Y/N had first described to me. So scared and naive and seemingly innocent. But at the time I knew better, Oliver had mentioned Maggie had a hard life growing up.

“Like they were just gone, or did you put them in a little sandwich baggie to take to the hospital, to get put back on?” I joked.

“Basil Merlin Zor El, did you just crack a joke?”

Her smile was contagious now, seemingly having forgotten all about the heavy conversation we just had. It would have been much worse if Y/N had done this alone.

“I can’t be funny fuck you very much!”

“You still correct everyone’s grammar in the group chat even though people don’t talk like that.”

“Sorry I like my texts to be literate.”

“You mean your paragraphs?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Your impossible you know that?”

“Learned from the best! I mean you know how stubborn Ollie is, and don’t even get me started on Thea. Speaking of which, how’s that going?”

I had shot Y/N a quick text, telling her I wanted some time alone with Maggie first. She just texted back a coffee emoji, seemingly heading to her favourite shop. And just told us to meet her back at the house.

“How’s what going?” I asked, shoving my phone back into my pocket.

“You and Thea.”

She squinted her eyes slightly my way, as if she was testing me.

“Thea and I?”

“Are you correcting me or asking a question?” She laughed.

“Both.”

“Please, B I know you like to pretend you can’t fathom human emotions, but you do have them. You like her.”

“You’ve never seen us interact.”

“You know I still talk to her right? Of course, I didn’t know it was you until recently. But she would always text me about this cute boy who Oliver would call in for help. And tell me about how you got to work together on mission. Thank you, for protecting her by the way. I’m not educating pleased Oliver dragged her into his little Vigilante scheme. But she’s 18 now, she can do what she wants.”

“She’s texted you about me? She thinks I’m cute?”

This was news to me.

“On Oswald’s mother, how can you be both the most observant and oblivious person I know? You beat Jim in that department btw.”

“I beat Jim in every department.”

I scoffed. Going around and making sure all the lights were off, except for the lights in the back room that helped her plants to grow. I’d only helped out in the shop once before this, but I remembered all the steps.

“Jim’s a nightmare, that’s not exactly something to brag about.” She laughed.

“Yet you’re the one in love with him.”

She turned around, sending me a glare and I raised my arms in mock defeat.

“I am not ‘in love’ with him, we haven’t even talked since the tea party. Stop trying to turn this conversation back to me!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe if you didn’t make getting to know you like pulling teeth…”

She sighed heavily.

“I am sorry about that Basil, if it really bothers you I’ll try to remember to open up more. I’m better at taking care of others-“

“Than you are yourself. We know! How do you even find time in your day to do all the shit you do?” I asked.

“I just roll with the punches. Schedules are not my problem”

“To answer your question. I wasn’t aware there was anything going on between Thea and I. I can stop it right now if you want. I don’t really want to see Oliver after that stunt he pulled.”

“Oh, you mean humiliating me on my birthday, and then revealing he’s slept with Y/N in the past? That was a shit show wasn’t it? Let’s hope V and Your birthdays go much smoother. But no, I think it’s cute. Friends or anything else, I don’t mind at all Basil. You need people to talk to that aren’t in Gotham. Speaking of which, I was thinking maybe we could take a trip National city soon, maybe take V with us.”

“Why the sudden interest in National City?”

“Change of scenery, everything is chronically chaotic around here.”

“By change of scenery do you mean avoiding Jim?”

“I’m not avoid him Basil. He made his choice, or un-choice I guess. He still had feelings for Lee but she’s getting married. If he wants to figure his shit out, he can be my guest. But I’m not just gonna sit around and wait for him.”

“Good, you deserve better. I suppose I’m long overdue for a visit with Kara. But you know I hate staying long, she has a way of-“

“Prying the things out of you that you don’t want to say?” Maggie’s raised a brow at me.

I’d never really noticed the similarities between my sister and I. My cousin, Super-Man and I were nothing alike. He was that friendly neighbourhood macho man, with a soft spot for damsels in distress. I believe he was still with that Lois girl, I didn’t care much for her. But I didn’t care much for my cousin either.

But my sister. She was fine. I loved her like any brother loves his flesh and blood I suppose. But personality wise we were so different. She was soft and bubbly, and always laughing. He had a contagious personality that made her the life of the party. But she also had a strong sense of justice, that I simply did not inherit. If she had any idea what I was doing here in Gotham, she would lose her mind. Training with a skilled assassin and running mob hits to protect Oswald’s claim to his “throne.”

“Earth to the Kryptonian?” Maggie snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“Oh, sorry. What were you saying?”

“I’m going to be transparent-“

“Please don’t let me stop you.” I laughed.

Maggie rolled her eyes.

“Alex has been asking me to come visit again.”

It took two seconds to pick up what she was insinuating. And I groaned.

“Magnolia blossom, please tell me you didn’t have sex with my adopted sister!” I teased.

I wasn’t really mad about it, anyone would be better than Jim. And Alex was alright, she was more willing to do harm than Kara. Which made her more level headed in my book. Alex was loyal to the mission, Kara was loyal to her heart. Maggie cringed, offering me a half cocked smile.

“When did you even have time for that? We weren’t even in town a full 24 hours!” I was more than amused at this point.

Studying Maggie was my favourite hobby. There were so many sides to her I didn’t understand, but I wanted too. Just like I wanted to understand Y/N and Thea, and V. These women were fascinating. Surviving in the most inopportune conditions, and almost always coming out on top. When so many women like Miss Mooney, Miss Falcone and Miss Pepper have fallen. Becoming history with the town, however important their memories may be. Gotham had a rich history, and the “hero’s” weren’t part of that.

For every Jim Gordon, you had five or more of us. You wound up with cops like Harvey, willing to turn the other way, wether for their benefit or the greater good. Forming alliances with the enemy just to survive another day. Some may consider him a Coward, but he’s a hell of a lot smarter than his younger counterpart. I wonder if that’s how Maggie was when she first got here. Bright eyed and ready to make a difference. On her, I might not hate it much, her similarities to Kara make it palletable, but on Jim it was vomitous. He too would fall to this City one day, and I wasn’t going to let him drag Maggie down with him.

“The reception-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there Maggie, sometimes I swear you’re worse than Y/N and Victor. The reception was three hours.”

“It wasn’t even my fault, Alex is, you know what, you don’t wanna know that. She initiated, that is my point.”

I let out a huff through my nose, shaking my head.

Maggie crossed her arms over her chest and pouted like a child. I observed her for a second longer, and noticed her tense her muscles in a slight tick. Was one of her nightmares starting to sink in? It was only midday, it must be as bad as she says it is. I moved the conversation along, suggesting maybe we get coffee as well. Wondering if the stimulation would drive the hallucinations away or make them worse. I was prepared for either outcome, we’d be home soon.

“If you really don’t want me to hang out with Alex, I won’t. I don’t even think it will be like that, I think it’s just nice to be around someone outside of your usual circle. She’s been going through a lot recently and, well you know how Kara is. Her solution to every problem is all peaches and rainbows, and Alex isn’t that kind of girl. Not all the time at least.”

“It sounds like you two have been really talking.”

“We have, it’s been nice. I’m sorry I kept it from you, I was just worried you’d be upset with me. I know I don’t have the cleanest reputation, but I am attempting to grow up.”

I have no idea what compelled me to verbalise this thought in the moment, but an intrusive thought slipped past my lips. A tell of my age I suppose, at least how the humans viewed it.

“Killing two people will do that to a person.”

Her eyes widened as she sipped her coffee, and she stopped her footfalls, almost choking. My smirk was quick to disappear.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Victor, pour l'amour de dieu et des anges!”

Her accent was smoother when she spoke French, much like Y/N. In fact, I’d wager both women sound far more dangerous when they speak it. But there was a major difference in how they both used it. Y/N stops speaking English when she’s angry, the words rolling off her tongue with vitriol and bite. She speaks like a queen who has been wronged by her subjects.

Maggie however, was more sporadic. I suppose it was any time of more intense or sudden emotions. The few times she’s needed to comfort little V, she spoke it to sooth her. She’d use it for exclamations of joy, love or surprise. Or mumble it under her breath when she was angry. But never loud or threatening in a shout like Y/N. Another one of my favourite differences between the two women.

“Why are you being so… human today? Did my favourite little kyrptonian grow a heart?” She teased.

Ah, another trait she’d gained from Y/N in the eternal nature Vs nurture debate.

“You’ve been floating in and out of analytical daydreams all afternoon.” She pressed.

It was infuriating how she could demand information from me, but I had to corner her to get her to talk. But these were the roles we played, willingly or not.

“Perhaps I have been around little V too long.” I answered plainly.

“Awww, Little B and Little V bonding.” She ran a hand through my hair, messing it up “that warms my big sister heart.” She grinned.

“Maybe you should be in Arkham, I think you’ve actually lost it.” I teased back.

One on one time with Maggie and I was rare. I didn’t want to risk ruining it, by bringing down the playful aura. I pushed the front door open, letting her walk inside first as always. If my Earth father and mother taught me anything, it was how to be the perfect gentlemen. Only few people got that persona earnestly.

Maggie’s POV:

I don’t know what I was so worried about earlier. Basil was an enigma but he’d never been cold to me before. He pretended to be more mature for, well I don’t know whose sake. But he had his childish moments just like the rest of us.

Today has gone much worse in my head. Probably made more vivid by the constant fear and random spikes of adrenaline. But I could handle it, I had to handle it. There were people who depending on me now. No matter how unsettling their purposes for me were. Gotham had that effect on people. Assigning roles that you just had to roll over too. Everyone played their part.

I followed Y/N voice to the living room, ready to hear whatever plan she’d come up with. I was sure it would be long and awful, but what needs to be done, needs to be done. The sooner we got this over with, the sooner like could go back to normal. As normal as like could be in Gotham. Basil was hot on my tail, so much so he nearly ran into me when I slammed on my heels. As I rounded the corner, my heart stopped.

“Oh, Children! Come say hi to a new friend.”

Y/N voice may have been light and cheery on the surface. As it always was when she was playing good little house host. But that wasn’t a request. Basil stepped to my side to get a better look at the man sat a crossed from her on the couch. Before anyone could get a word out, our guest turned to greet me.

“What’s wrong child, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” He smirked wickedly.

“Deathstroke” Basil’s voice came from lowly beside me.

I was sure he figured it out already. Basil was a smart boy with a nasty habit of stalking his interests. He probably knew more about me than even Victor or Y/N. And he’d had intimate access to my old home for months before anyone knew. Oliver was hell bent on killing this bastard, and it was never in my plans to stop him. This was going to be a disaster, no good things ever happened when Slade Wilson surfaced from his little island.

“Hello Father.” I spat coldly.

An: and cliffhanger! Now we finally know who Maggie’s real father is. The Queen Family is an odd breed. Oliver being the only true Queen, whilst Thea is a Merlyn, and Maggie is a Wilson. She’s been a lot of things in her life, A Maddox when she got adopted then her family decided she was too much trouble. Some would have considered her a Mathias under Dollmakers rule, but that’s what she got the monicker Blossom. Then she became and honours Zsasz, but she will never consider herself a Wilson! She has too much pride for that. It’s clear blood relations do not matter to her.

[storiesofsvu]

65, 54, 33, 24, 23 from the fanfic asks please!

Hiiii how are you? I miss you! 💜

23. best writing advice for other writers?

write for yourself first, not others. try to write every day, even if it's just a couple of sentences. read through prompt lists and see if a certain character/ship jumps out at you, it's the easiest way to spark a story when your inbox is empty. personally, i like finding music that sets the vibe and half of my dedicated writing time is spent daydreaming the fic out. BUT, if you do this make sure you write down tidbits or dialogue, ive got a bad habit of doing it before bed or while napping and then i completely forget what the important part were lol. find a bestie or two who know your fandom/characters and use them to bounce ideas off of/spitball with! also don't let the anons get to you and don't be afraid to use the block button.

24. worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

lort. im not sure? i dont think anyone's ever specifically given me writing advice aside from like, school teachers and like hell i remember any of that lol.

33. do you want to be published some day?

yes!!

54. what's your fave part about the fanfic writing process?

hmmm... i enjoy the spitballing with friends, getting all excited over ideas, thoughts, plot twists and the like. it gets the motivation going to actually get writing rather than depending on yourself all the time.

and of course the reactions!

65. tell us about what you're most looking forward to writing- in your current project, or a future project?

im a simple being. i like to cause pain. i am looking forward to the angst parts of dangerous game & heavy hearts. i'm also looking forward to embellishing more and expanding the universe in HH, including more bff!rita, having casey & yn fall back in love with more detail and emotion rather than jumping into it kinda thing.

also very stoked for the svu/criminal minds vampire/supernatural AU (as in supernatural characters, not the show itself).

thanks for asking!!!

and hiii!! things are good. currently v. sleepy, i wont lie. hope you're well!! miss you too!!

fanfic asks!

[fiesta-freddie]

Random Leorio Headcannons because we were robbed

He’s mildly dyslexic but doesn’t like to tell anyone because he’s afraid people would think he’s dumb

BIG FOODIE

He grew up poor so he always wants to make sure everyone has enough to eat

If one of his friends refuses to eat because they're “not hungry” he’ll make them a plate of food anyways and save it for later 

I definitely am convinced this man has very dry lips

Someone needs to get him some chapstick

He’s scared of birds because he got pooped on by a seagull one time and from then on he’s never trusted them

Lots! Of! Dad! Jokes!

Partly because he’s the dad friend, but also because he thinks he’s genuinely funny

“To be Frank, I’d have to change my name”

“What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta”

Gon and Killua always laugh even if its not funny

He’s definitely a cat person even though he has a mild allergy to them

Makes an effort to call the Gon, Killua and Kurapika once a week just to see how they're doing even if he’s exhausted

Kurapika never answers

He’s pen pals with Gon. He writes to Gon telling him about med school and Gon always writes back telling him about his adventures with Kullia and how much he misses Leorio

Gon also almost always includes a picture of him and Killua in each letter

I’m conVINCED he’s a nail biter

One word: V i r g i n 

He’s all big talk but he’s actually never gotten any

Absolutely a closeted K-pop stan

I feel like he’d definitely play an instrument but again, he dosen’t tell anyone about because he’s shy

But I just KNOW he would play music for his patients (especially the little kids) to make them feel better

[maguneedsalife]

8. How do they feel about the fame/infamy that comes with being a Warrior of Light/Darkness?

Ooh this is a good one!! And i think I will answer it for both my wols since this is tumblr and im not limited by character count!!

For Aoife it was a little overwhelming at first - she had grown up doing her utmost not to stand out and was deeply afraid of being noticed, but now everyone knows who she is?? and they think she's cool and strong??? At first she tried to wave off people trying to treat her like a bigshot hero (because she didn't feel like she'd done anything special - she just went where she was asked and did what she had to) but as MSQ continued and her accomplishments grew bigger and bigger, she started taking it more in stride. She still doesn't feel like she should be a celebrity, but she has more experience now and knows how to set an example for others. Now she doesn't mind getting recognized on the street (though after she cut her hair in 6.0 she realized she'd missed being able to go about her business unbothered lmao)

T'zekh has a very different relationship with his fame as a Warrior of Light, even though he's done comparatively fewer things. He's even more humble than Aoife is, preferring not to talk about his accomplishments even when he's getting praised for them. That said, "Liberator of Ala Mhigo" is nothing to sniff at, and he did help Aoife save the universe. T'zekh also has the advantage of being a miqo'te with a popular hairstyle--he's recognized WAY less frequently than Aoife is by virtue of simply being a more common sight in Eorzea. ("The Liberator of Ala Mhigo is miqo'te guy with that Styled for Hire hair!" "Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?!") When he does get recognized, he'll flush and clam up, saying things like "I had a lot of help" or "I just did what anyone would". It's a little ironic considering his childhood dream was to be a famous hero....

thank you for the question!! ;v;

[ineedanelizabeth3rd]

So I spent time calculating how many routes I can do before winter break but it looks like I may have enough hourglasses for the V route by the end of this round.