#and im tired of constantly worrying im annoying

[aplaceofnonsense]

.

[bare1ythere]

Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation

[toastsnaffler]

ughhhh

[waterberry-strawmelon]

trying not to be overly negative about season 2 but GOD the occasional uncomfortable moments i had in dungeons and daddies season 1 are fucking MAGNIFIED in season 2. this shit sucks. like, we get it, you think your weird cishet male experiences from 2002 are universal or what-fucking-ever but treating this weird teen girl vs. teen boy binary as real (even for the sake of comedy) is, like, not fun to listen to lol

[simpjaes]

u know I’m like the shyest person when it comes to talking about this but I cannot stop thinking about sunghoon being so hard that he just keeps cumming inside a pussy and over and over again. im talking balls covered in cum and body covered in sweat ugjrnrjdlsls

hi shy babs, this is for u.

~

Sunghoon. The guy who is always so in control of everything. By everything you mean like, his grades, his job, his social status, his image, his finances, everything. 

He’s so well put together....until he isn’t. 

And when isn’t he put together? When he’s with you, of course. 

When he finally lets you through all of those thick, heavy walls he’s built around himself, he felt like he could relax for once. Mostly because relationships were never worth it to him, not even hook ups, really. He always has too much to do, too much to worry about. Having some girl clinging to his arm would’ve just been annoying…before you.

Given, when you’d met Sunghoon, he never really dropped any hints about being into you. Study session after study session, lunches together, even dinner a few times. To you, they were platonic. To him? They were…dates. 

He was embarrassed the night you asked to leave early, stating you had a date to get to. 

“But…we’re on a date already?” He had muttered in shock, sending you into shock right alongside him. 

“Wait– what?” You had responded, eyes widened. “We are?”

And, well, you’ve learned that it’s just how Sunghoon is. Always thinking you’re on the same page as him, but never ashamed to embarrass himself when you’re not. 

It’s normal now. 

Anyway, You’re the only person who gets to see him like this. A mess, totally outside of himself, cross eyed, panting–

His hips stutter once, a low groan fanning against your cheeks as his fingernails dig into the fleshy skin of your breasts. 

“I–” He stutters, body shivering over you as he plunges into you hard once more, hard, deeper. Once again, unable to announce his climax, and only able to show that he’s losing it through the way his body jolts and tenses up. 

He can’t speak now, and you know he couldn’t even if he tried. It’s nice to physically feel him release all of the stress of his week, right into you, tiring your thighs out even more by spreading them wider somehow with his hips tensing between them in a deep and intentional push. 

“Yeah?” You hum against the hair of his forehead, you can taste the sweat dripping off of him, but you don’t mind. 

He barely nods, his eyes rolling back as you feel him pulse inside of you, again and again until his hips shift back– you think he’s done, until there’s another sound from his throat. 

A sob, a wet inhale, and a half-moaned whisper. 

“I can’t–” He cries out, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck, wait, stop squeezing me–” He continues, begging you to ease your pussy walls from clenching him so tightly. “I can’t stop.”

Another string of curses as his eyebrows furrow. His mouth falls open in another, now silent, sob. 

Pulse, pulse, pulse.

“Hoon–” You pause in surprise, “Are you still–”

He nods desperately, sensitive all over as he feels his brain hit a wall of euphoria. So much pain, even more pleasure in this moment for him. 

“I’m still–fuck” He whimpers out, bracing himself against you. “It won’t stop–” A gasp of air and it becomes nearly unbearable for him. 

You can feel it bubble out of you, sliding down and onto your bed as he continues, somehow having an orgasm longer than you’ve been able to experience. You can’t help it when you find your fingers in his hair, petting and scratching against his scalp, cooing against him with a pleased little sound.  Spurting from around his desperate cock, the cum drips constantly, messing your bed to the point it’s soaking through the mattress, all over you, and he’s…so gone.

[giverofempathy]

really starting to lose my mind over this internship besties !

[myfaveisnormal]

[lon3rlife]

Why wasn’t I invited?

Rick Sanchez x Fem!Reader

You and some friends go on a trip, but Rick can’t stand to be away from you (Aka Rick being clingy and soft for once)

You’re in your apartment doing some last minute packing that you have been procrastinating on for days. You go through your closet trying to figure out how you’re going to fit a week of clothes into 1 suitcase and a carry on bag. As you throw some clothes onto your bed that you’ll fold later, you turn to see a green portal appear and your boyfriend walking into the room rambling on about something that you’re to busy to even be paying attention to.

“Woah baby it looks like a fucking tornado went through this place. Why the hell are you packing a suitcase? Where are we going?” He asks taking a quick swig out of his flask

“What do you mean we? I’ve been telling you about this trip for weeks.” You say annoyed that he obviously didn’t listen when you were going on about your excitement for your trip. You and some old friends are going to Europe for a week on a girls trip, you are actually pretty excited to get away for a bit and spend some time catching up with people you haven’t seen in years.

“Wait-where are you going? Why wasn’t I invited? Who’s going to be going? How long are you going for? When do you leave?” He spits out a million questions at once

“Did you seriously not listen to me when I was telling you?” You say aggravated as you attempt to fit more clothes into your already full suitcase

“N-no I didn’t, I was doing something important and I didn’t think you would be going without me.” He continues on but you’re to annoyed to deal with him right now.

“Listen I’m leaving tomorrow morning can you at least drive me to the airport?” You ask in a final attempt to resolve this situation.

“Y-yeah of course. Can I spend the night tonight? I mean I haven’t gone two days without seeing you since we met and I don’t know how I’ll be able to sleep without you.”

As you fall asleep you hear Rick mumble something about not wanting you to leave, but you’re too tired to be able to fully make out what it was.

The alarm goes off at 6am sharp. You try to get up but Ricks arms are firmly wrapped around your waist with his face nuzzled into your hair.

“Rick come on the plane leaves in an hour and a half.” You say secretly enjoying this rare moment of affection.

“Five minutes.” He mumbles

“Two”

“Fine”

You lay down closing your eyes for a minute and turn to face him. You give him a quick kiss and pull yourself off of him, and rush to the bathroom to get ready and make sure you have everything.

After some hustling around the apartment to get everything you need Rick sleepily gets out of bed and you guys drive to the airport. As he’s driving you he’s very quiet. You’re not to surprised at his silence due to his anxiety over you leaving but it still worries you a bit.

“Well I’ve really got to go.” You say giving Rick a gentle kiss goodbye as the final call for your plane is announced.

He wraps you in a very firm but gentle hug, resting his chin on your head.

“Im going to miss you.” He says as you walk off

The trip is great. You catch up with people you haven’t seen in years, you get to visit places you’ve always wanted to, you spend way to much money getting souvenirs for Rick and the Smith family, and get time to relax alone as well.

Being in a relationship with Rick is not easy. You guys are constantly on an adventure or working on something new. It’s pretty nice to not have to worry about yours, your boyfriend, or his grandsons life being threatened for once and you have time just to relax and have a bit of fun.

By day 4 of the trip though, you’re pretty exhausted. The constant sightseeing and social interaction is pretty tough, but you’re still having a great time. You go to bed around 8 to catch up on some well needed rest.

You don’t know what time it was, but it was very late. Your friend who you’re sharing a room with is sound asleep on the pull out couch in the room.

Out of the darkness of the room an all to familiar sound of the glowing green portal appeared out of the pitch black of the room.

“Rick what the hell are you doing here???” You whisper scream trying not to wake your sleeping friend up.

“I haven’t been able to sleep without you. Please can I stay here for the night I’ll be out before anyone wakes up and if your friend wakes up I’ll erase her memory no big deal.” He says way too casually.

“Jesus Rick. Okay just tonight, and you have to be up before she wakes up.” You say still disoriented and tired.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness some more and by the faint glow of the moon you can see the sleep deprivation and stress on Rick’s face even more so than usual. The second he gets into the bed he wraps his arms around you he practically melts into you. You feel his muscles relax and his breathing slow. His arms resting on your lower abdomen and he’s asleep almost instantly. You feel a little sad seeing him curled up on you sleeping so peacefully after obviously not being good mentally for the past few days. After a bit of laying down sinking in this moment you end up drifting off.

You awake abruptly just as the sun is about to rise hoping that your friend didn’t wake up, but you open your eyes to find her still passed out on the couch. You turn to face Rick, who is sound asleep lightly snoring with his long arms still wrapped around you.

“Rick you need to get up.” You say in a loud whisper.

“Mhm.” He grunts sleepily

“Seriously Rick you can’t just crash a girls trip unannounced.”

He pulls you closer and you try to figure out a way to get him out of the bed before your friend wakes up.

“How about we go walk down the street, get some breakfast and watch the sunrise?” You say desperately hoping that will get him up

“Okay.” He says finally opening his eyes

You guys head down to the café to get some breakfast and sit out on a park bench to watch the sunrise.

You check your phone to realize you have completely lost track of time and was supposed to meet your friends in the hotel lobby 15 minutes ago.

“Shit Rick I really need to leave. Please take care of yourself I’ll be home in 3 days, and then we can spend as much time together as you want.” You say rushing to get your stuff together

“Orrr I can just meet you tonight?” Rick asks hopefully, with a face you really can’t resist.

“Okay but you need to leave before sunrise.” You say giving him a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying to meet your friends.

[presleyluvschris]

chilly

pairing(s): mcu peter parker x sick!fem!reader

desc basically im obsessed with sick!fics. posted one a while back for another fandom 🤭 just peter worried.

a/n holy shit im so sorry i haven't been posting lately my loves. my house is currently being sold and i've been running ramped. i wrote this after i had time off work. hope you enjoy.

warnings language, fluff, grammar. (please message me if i missed any!)

@cozytober2023

requests | open 💌 masterlist

It was only October 7th and you we're already a stuffy snotty sticky mess from the sudden drop of temperature outside.

It was cold outside, but the light from your wooden bedroom windows sunbathed the room, brightening your pale complexion.

tissues were plastered all over your messy bed and your phone was constantly dinging with messages from your group chat. you didn't show up to work, or to school that day, and by the looks of your random naps and binge watches on Netflix, you had forgot to call anyone to let them know you couldn't make it, including your boyfriend peter.

you kept coughing which made your head pulsate more as you wrapped your blanket around you and curled into it, squirming and desperately trying to get comfortable.

he was always super protective of you. sometimes it was really annoying but it felt good to know he was always thinking of you. and thats probably an understatement.

you felt sick. that might've been a blunt word, but everytime you tried to swallow your own spit it hurt like hell and you felt your head beating in pain like a heart would pump blood.

you groan and pull your comforter back over your head before you flutter your eyes closed and try to get your mind off the pain in your throat. It burned everytime you breathed which made you hiss uncomfortably. You eventually get yourself to fall asleep (after way too many doses of NyQuil) with half of your body immersed in your pillow.

you rested softly for a few hours before you woke to the sound of peter climbing through your window. you're eyes could barely adjust to the light as your tried to look up to see who it was, but your body was too tired to try and shake yourself up.

he rolled on the floor after falling from your complicated window sill but quickly got up with a groan.

he puffs, dusting him self off as he looks around the room for his girl.

"love?" peter looked around curiously to find you laying in your bed.

he carefully knelt down and shook you slightly as you woke up again with a jump.

you cough. "jesus, peter. you scared the shit out of me." you shift your arms behind you to prop yourself up, as he tucks a piece of your hair that fell back behind your ear.

"sorry," he laughs. "i just got really worried. I came as soon as I could. are you alright? why weren't you at school? or work- MJ said you didn't come."

his smile turns into a concerned perplexed look.

"uh", you sit up and rub your eye, coughing.

he noticed you sweating, and your puffy red eyes and a nose rubbed red.

"are you feeling okay?" his eyes and face look soft for you as his lip pouted a little.

he comes closer to you, kneeling down as he rests his hand on your forehead gently. you press your lips together and sniffle.

"pete, im fine."

"but- you're burning up!" he adds, as you look away from him.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? i could've taken school off or-"

"peter." you look up.

"no." you croak, "i would never let you do that."

He puffs his cheeks and breathes out as he sits with you in your bed. You look in your boyfriends eyes as he turns his head to examine you.

"you don't look well, sweets." he frowns as he kisses the top of your forehead.

"i know", you say as you sniffle and your face starts to tickle a little.

he hands you a tissue as you sneeze in your sleeves. "bless you." he rests his tongue to the side of his mouth.

spidey senses.

"you okay?" he looks at you.

"mhm", you purse your lips.

you blow your nose as he looks at your face again.

"you gonna let me take care of you?" he holds his breath in worry.

you shake your head. "no."

he frowns again. "but you're sick! you're my girlfriend I can't just leave you here." He seems stressed, folding his his hands on your arms.

you cough and add, "i don't want you to get sick. plus, you have patrol tonight."

he shakes his head. "no way, im staying."

"No." you look in his eyes.

"Yes." he nods.

"No, peter."

"Yes, y/n." he crosses his arms.

you sigh.

"im staying right here." He says determinedly as he wraps his arms around you from behind and rests his chin on your shoulder. worry chilled up his spine for you.

"okay," you give up. "its cold anyway." you couldn't resist him. you didn't want him to patrol in the this insane cold weather anyways.

you pull a sweatshirt over your head.

"movie?" we whispers. "i'll get you snacks." he rubs your back softly.

you sweat a little and try to swallow.

you smile a little, "okay."

coughing, he rubs your arm. "are you okay?" he looks at you worriedly.

"im fine, my body just hurts."

he pulls you in a hug before kissing your head and leaving the room to go to the kitchen.

he gets back almost instantly with a bag of candy and popcorn, setting it on the bed and a mug of hot tea for your throat on the bedside table.

"can i get you anything else?" he looked sad.

your heart warmed and hurt at the same time.

"no, im okay."

he places a bowl of soup down next to the mug as you lean over to take it and sip it gently.

he lays in your bed as you open your laptop to the same crime documentary.

"again?" he groans, shifting his neck up against the pillow as he scrunches his face, looking at the ceiling.

as you giggle he looks up to see your smile which made his stomach hurt.

"yes, again." you try to hold back your lips from curling into a laugh.

he sighs and clicks the play button on your computer.

you rest your head on his chest, snuggling into him as he lays his arm around you, intertwining your hand into his.

"love you." he whispers in your hair softly, tucking a kiss to the back of your head.

taglist my idols/inspo @everythingisawayoflife @cafekitsune @luveline @scarthefangirl @elliexmylove @thevoidsaidnothanks @thestarvingwriter @spider-stark @bittenbyyou @incorrectmarvelquote @badass-dora-milaje @yes-i-am-happyaspie join my taglist ♡

[bxnnywrites]

hiya!! im the anon that told you abt requests being closed, im glad i could help you out!!

i saw you headcanon danny as demiromantic and im very curious, what would it be like if danny had romantic feelings for a survivor reader? how would those feelings develop? i’m not demi myself so i’m rlly curious about the process of it!!

oh anon you have no idea how excited i am to answer this

*clears throat*

🫀 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 🫀

TW :: Obsessive behavior, stalking, violence, general Danny Warnings

Authors Notes :: This uh...kinda turned into a ficlet. Oops!!! I've just thought of this scenario a LOT so I had a lot to say-

Anyways!! Hope you enjoy <3 (also this isn't proof read, we die like men)

It took a really long time for him to realize it, or maybe just for the emotions to develop. He wasn't sure.

You had appeared months ago, or whatever the equivalent was in the realms. Time wasn't exactly an easy concept to pin down here.

For a long time you were just another survivor, someone his knife sliced through with delicate ease. Someone to hunt and kill, that was his job, and entity if he didn't love every fucking second of it.

He liked to stalk his victims, both in and out of trials. Especially the new ones, he loved to see what made them tick. What really fucking scared them.

So he was keeping an eye on you, taking his usual notes, keeping an ear out for anything to use against you later.

But it started to develop into something a bit...more than that.

Suddenly he noticed his notes becoming less about what you feared and more about what you liked.

The way you smiled, how you laughed at Ash's jokes, the way you bit your knuckles when you were worried. The way your eyes lit up when seeing your friends and fuck he wanted to see your eyes light up for him like that.

He shook it off, had to shake it off. It got in the way of what he did. What even was this feeling?

Sure he had flings before he was taken, but he never really had feelings for them. It was part of the game, part of his job. Something to keep him low on the radar. That's all.

Was that what this was then? What it felt like to properly fall in love?

He hated it.

He hated every feeling, he hated the way your smile made his chest light up. He hated how distracted he was, so fucking distracted.

He hated you.

He couldn't stop thinking of you.

Quit laughing at Ash's stupid fucking jokes they aren't even that fucking funny.

More scribbling, more anger, why did you have to appear here? Was it some sort of taunt by the entity? Some kind of damn punishment? Fuck you and fuck whatever feelings you gave him.

For a long time it was like that, if you were in a trial with him you were the first hooked. You were too much of a distraction to his work.

And maybe he loved the feeling of holding you like this but fuck he wouldn't admit that.

------

Eventually you got fucking tired of it.

Every damn trial he would tunnel in on you and only you. Wouldn't focus on anyone else while you were around.

You realized quickly killers couldn't truly kill you. You felt it, every last agonizing slice into your flesh, every bruise, every broken bone, but you would just wake up at the fire at the end.

And you needed to figure out what the fuck his issue was.

Your fellow survivors tried very hard to convince you out of it, but they understood being pissed about it. So in the end, no one stopped you.

So there you were, in front of Autohaven Wreckers. A few survivors tipped you off that Ghostface liked to hang out around this area. Beats you as to why, the place stank of burning rubber and old oil. It made your stomach turn, but you entered nonetheless.

As you walked through the old junkyard, it dawned on you, you didn't really have a plan. You had done this mainly on a whim, annoyed at constantly being targeted and harassed by the white faced freak. Where were you even supposed to look? What if the Wraith saw you? This was fucking stup-

Before you could react a leather gloved hand covered your mouth, pulling you back as the cold steel of a sharp blade touched your throat.

"You scream and this is going into your fucking back, got it?" The voice was husky in your ear, unfamiliar. It made you realize you had never heard Ghostface speak before. So you nod, and he make an approving noise before releasing you. You run a hand over your throat where his knife had bit into it, leaving a light red line against it.

"So," He spoke again, letting you turn to him finally to confirm your suspicions. There he was, the Ghostface in the flesh, mask and all. "What do I owe the pleasure, Doll?"

"Well," You started, feeling your anger bubble up in you again. "For fucking starters, I have some damn questions for you, asshole."

Oh he loved when you spoke like that, some real final girl trope shit.

"Ooo, questions for the killer?" He cooed, leaning against a nearby car and watching you intently. "Brave of ya, Doll. I like it."

"Oh fucking can it, you damned halloween drop out!" You spat, and though you couldn't see it under his mask, your words had him grinning ear to ear. He loved when you were angry like this. "Why the fuck do you keep tunneling me, huh?! Every fucking trial we have you steamroll me and kill me as quick as possible. It's fucking bullshit, dude!"

He laughs a bit, removing his leather glove and using his knife to pick the dirt from under his nails.

"I dunno what you're talkin bout, babe." He says nonchalantly. "You're mad because what, I'm killing you during trials? Come on, that's my job-"

"Bullshit, this is more than that and you know it!" You seethe, god if you knew you wouldn't die you'd punch him. "What's your fucking damage? Hell, I've heard stories about other trials, you're even fucking friendly with some of the survivors sometimes! What the fuck did I ever do to you?!"

His eye twitches.

"Like I said, I'm just doing my fucking job. Now if you would just-"

"NO YOU AREN'T!" You shout at him and he's on you in an instant, hand over your mouth and you can see his eyes through his mask. A deep red brown and angry.

"Listen here you stupid bitch, one more outburst like that and I'm gutting you like a fucking fish, understand?" He snaps, his grip on your face almost bruising. Fear grips you again and you nod. He sighs, letting you go again with an unspoken warning that he would follow through if you got loud like that again.

"Look, it's fucking...it's complicated." He mumbled, looking almost shy as he played with one of the ghostly strips of fabric attached to his outfit. "You're just...you're a fucking distraction. Every trial I'm in with you it's hard to fucking focus, and I have a fucking job to do god damn it." He grumbles. You almost feel bad for him, almost.

"What, and that's my problem?" You snap in return.

"Yeah, it fucking is." He snaps in return, starting to pace back and forth. "I have work to do, people to kill, fear to harvest, the whole nine fucking yards. But you," He points, "You get in the fucking way, you make me lose track, you make me...you...fuck, you make me feel something, OK?"

You blink dumbly at him, finally speechless, and he continues.

"I get this stupid fucking feeling in my stomach and it makes me fucking twitchy. It makes my damn mind race and I can't tell if it's because I want to fucking dissect you or..." He trails off.

"...Or?" You question.

"I don't know!" He snaps, growling a bit as he continues pacing. "I haven't fucking felt like this before, I didn't think I fucking could. I just..." He takes a breath, looking back at you. "I need you to stop."

Your mouth hangs open, shocked by his...confession? If you could call it that.

"What?" You question again.

"Stop! Stop making me feel...whatever the fuck this is!" He snaps again, and even though you can't see his eyes anymore, you can feel the frustration wafting off him.

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?!" You snap in return, annoyance rising in you as well. "It's not my fault you have a...a fucking crush on me or something!"

"Yes it is, it's absolutely your fault!" He throws his arms up, almost like an annoyed toddler. "It's your fault because you have this soft fucking face and this pretty laugh and that stupid fucking smile! You have these fucking eyes that light up whenever you get to talking about what you love, and fuck I just wish for once that was ME and-" He cuts himself off with a growl, kicking a nearby stack of tired and knocking them down. "It's bullshit, you're bullshit, it's all fucking bullshit!"

You're left speechless until he finally looks at you again.

"There, you happy? Now could you fucking make it stop?!" He breathes out, his eyes just barely visible through the black mesh of his mask.

"I...Well...fuck uh..." You mumble, shifting your weight from foot to foot. "I...don't think I can do that? I mean..."

"Fuck, yeah, course you can't." He grumbles, fidgeting with the fabric strips of his costume again. "I just...this is a stupid, distracting fucking feeling and I hate it."

"Well...I mean..." You take a breath, not really sure how to approach the situation. "Maybe we could like...I dunno...start over?"

He looks at you, and you swear he thinks you're insane.

"Start over?" He questions, "The fuck you mean start over?"

"Like, I dunno. Figure shit out from the beginning, like...get to know each other or something?" You say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

"...Are you fucking crazy?" He questions, and yeah, you expected that. "Like, hello, earth to Dollface, I've killed you dozens of times now. I have murdered your friends in front of you." He snaps his fingers, impressive considering he's still wearing his gloves. "Like sure, sounds nice and all, but how the fuck do you expect to just start over? Hi, what's up, the names Ghostface. Wanna get stabbed?"

"Don't be a fucking dickhead." You snap in response and huff, "Look, I don't know what you want me to do about...whatever this shit is," You motion to him vaguely. "Like I dunno dude, you need a good therapist or something?"

"Fuck you." He growls.

"Yeah, whatever." You breath out. "Look, I don't care what you do, but I'm sick of you pulling bullshit during trials because of...whatever your feelings are. So you either talk to me about it and we get it sorted, or I start making offerings to the entity to make your job even harder than I apparently already am." You cross your arms and look him up and down before sighing. "I'm heading back to camp, if you want to fucking talk-"

"Wait," He grabs your arm and you stop, looking back at him before he sighs. "OK maybe...maybe you're right. Maybe we can like, try that? I dunno."

You smile at him, sighing in relief.

"Good, I prefer that." You turn to him, extending a hand and telling him your name proper, even though he already knows it. "Nice to meet you, Ghostface."

He stares at your hand for a second, but slowly, he takes it.

"...Ghostface is fine for now." He mumbles, shaking it awkwardly. "So...uh...how do we do this?"

"Well...what kinds of movies did you like? Before you got taken."

His eyes light up, and suddenly he's on a kick. Rambling happily about his favorite horror movies while you listen.

Things get better after that.

Rather than being targeted, you're more often than not spared during trials.

Of course people get suspicious though, so you have to cut a small deal with him to either spare all of you during trials or kill everyone including you.

He's not personally a fan of the second option, so he ends up sparing your little party whenever you're involved.

You two get closer and you start to have your own feelings for him in return.

Eventually he tells you his real name. Danny, it rolls off your tongue nicely.

He's nervous at first, but eventually his smooth charm comes back and it's rare for him to not leave you flustered and blushing when you two talk.

When you finally get the courage to tell him your feelings, you swear he's on cloud nine. immediately talking about how happy he's going to make you and how he'll make sure no one in this fucking realm ever touches you.

You have to talk him down from that, knowing that your other survivors would hate you if you were the only exception during trials. And while he says "fuck em" you know you can't have him as your only friend in the realm, as much as part of him would love that.

But it's nice, he treats you like royalty. Like you're his entire world.

It might not be a real happy ending, but it's probably the closest you'll get in this hellhole.

And that's good enough for the both of you.

[suneeater]

bnha guys + jealousy 

➳tamaki, bakugou, kirishima

✎a/n: uuuauahhhgh these r way shorter than usual bc im tired but i wanted to post smth! i rlly rlly wanted to include todoroki but i honestly dont see him getting super jealous. at least not enough to write hcs about. anywa,s,. enjoy

✰warnings: profanity

𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢. 

He doesn’t get jealous really, he just gets scared. He trusts you but at the same time he’s constantly so worried that you’ll grow tired of him. He’s so convinced you’d be better off with someone else and kind of projects that insecurity

So when he gets ‘jealous’ he just gets kind of sad. He doesn’t wanna bring it up because he’s pretty sure it’s just his head messing with him and that saying anything will be unnecessary but oh my gosh he’s so down in the dumps thinking that he’s not good enough for you

You have to approach him about it and pry it out of him before he finally admits he’s feeling jealous and scared. Do you still love him?? Are you tired of him?? Is he too much to deal with; oh my god he shouldn’t have said anything, that probably why you’re annoyed by him–

He just needs some reassurance is all. He’s not the jealous type to remove you from a situation or start getting handsy to prove a point to someone; the last thing he wants to do is interfere with a situation in which you’re happy. It’s just, he’d rather be the reason you’re happy

Just bring him with you sometimes and problem solved, just like that. He’s really just a sad little puppy with abandonment issues

He’ll start feeling a little more confident eventually as long as you help him out dw he’s getting there :)

𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮. 

 He is the definition of insecure and he is going to make it everyone’s problem. Getting jealous is just a regular occurrence, except he doesn’t really learn how to tackle it. 

When he gets jealous he is not subtle about it. If there wasn’t trouble before there is going to be now because he is inserting himself into the conversation, shooing the person off, or just removing you from the situation entirely after making a couple off colored remarks to the person stealing your attention away from him

He always gets a feel for what’s going on before he intervenes though. But if he detects a potential threat? Game over, you’re done, let’s go home, I don’t wanna be here anymore blah blah blah

He’s constantly got his arm wrapped tight around your waist, pulling you closer and closer until there’s hardly an inch between you. Even in the most innocent of conversations he’s shooting glares and trying to let everybody know who you belong to

He would never objectify you but honestly, he’s a little possessive. You’re his and he is not going to let a single person forget that, and god forbid they try and do anything about it because he is not afraid to start a scene. ESPECIALLY when you’re involved

𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚.

Kiri gets SO pouty when he’s jealous. He’s not insecure like the other two; he isn’t afraid of someone taking you away from him or anything, he’s just upset he’s not getting your attention instead

I mean, how dare this mystery person interfere with his romantic fantasies?! You should be smiling for him and laughing at his jokes instead :( 

He’s not possessive like Bakugou either, he’s just absolutely infatuated with you. This man is your number one fan and your number one clown, he’ll do anything to make you smile. Plus, you smile the prettiest when it’s just for him

He gets so touchy when he’s jealous. He’s constantly slinking up behind you and snaking his muscular arms around you, nuzzling against you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. His goal is to make it absolutely impossible to ignore him any longer

He is absolutely not afraid of PDA. In fact, he has zero regard for it. He’s got too much love to show you to contain it to four walls and a door, and who cares if everyone sees? They should all know how lucky he is anyways

Oh, and also that he’s yours to pay attention to :)

[darlingeto]

Rawdogging this shit while i drink away ghost riley and his fucked life

He loves eating pussy and being called sir gets him frustrated i would know.

Slight veryy slight like if u really squint impact play. Lots of cum eating because im filthy. Like one pet name. Oral both received it kinda. Choking? Technically angry sex? Mutual pinning but shush cause theyre both five year old emotionally. Tell me what i forgot im drunk

Simon ghost Riley x female reader

Lowk the reader is a bit annoying

I tried to make this short ??

Please i wanna hold him on my tits and pat his head i might lose it.

First time he ever touched u was because he had to. He and u were stuck in a hideout with your torso full of deep cuts and scratches from the explosion’s residue metal while u made your way to the car. Your lieutenant stitches your waist in an out of character care. Not that he doesn’t always show care and worry for his team but because he constantly kept repeating how he told u to stay behind him and that it wasn’t a suggestion but an order. Your only response were a huffing laugh that slowly turned to a grunt from the pain of the needle and a short “sorry sir i will follow orders more accordingly next time” which made him turn quiet. Silence that lasted all the way to your next mission a couple of weeks later. This mission being your third with this team.

Second time you feel his hands and grip is again on your waist as he moves u out the way to get to the papers on the desk. Papers which u had presented for a detour to your original route. He towering over the others scans said paper and nods simply walking back to his equipment and ordering the other two in your team to follow the original route to leave u and your lieutenant for the risk of your idea. Although his hands were gone off your waist with urgency because of the turn of your neck and your strangely big eyes looking up at him it burned on your skin for far longer than you’d like to say, feeling bizarrely bashful of such a stupid exaggeration on your end.

The third time was sweet or maybe a touch starving mind like yours perceived it as so when he and soap had been teasing u about how much you’ve grown to create a new and better option for efficiency during the mission and your grumpy remarks earned u a pat in the back while he told u to pour some whiskey for everyone. Normally u would shrug it off, orders not being of your liking especially when not necessary but u found yourself drunken in the span of 15 minutes with the others’ voices muffled except for his while he for once opened that damned mouth and told the others to wake u up. You weren’t asleep but the embarrassing way your head was resting on his shoulder was too much of a stretch to just jolt up and hide into your room. When u hear the jokes however u do it regardless flipping soap’s teasing off and then running face down onto your pillow. Tearing your uniform off with bother and grumpiness. You had now touched him, somehow it felt like you lost some nonexistent bet in your head. It felt pathetic in many levels.

The fourth time was just a day later for u had stayed in bed in the hideout while everyone was doing the morning work out. He came in steadily and called out your name which in response was served a groaning “yes sir” you hear steps from under the covers and he pulls the blanket down just slightly brushing just his finger accidentally onto your lip. You are giving him those big eyes again but now theyre tired and swollen. “Well i have seen a lot but a hangover from just one shot of whiskey is definitely fresh” you manage to roll your eyes and sit up, your eyes avoiding his sharp ones. “Im not hangover sir i just have the flu.” “Sure you do” and then he’s taking off his glove and pressing his palm onto your forehead. You’re stuck between leaning into his cold palm and pushing it off but your eyes shut from the size of his hand coming down em and sigh contented almost leaning your head’s weight fully onto the large palm. Noticing he blinks and then pushes u back down to bed. He leaves quickly and the last thing your sleepy state registers is a “Youre excused to stay in”. Your what u called rest for a minute to regain your composure lasted up till late in the afternoon a bothersome call of your name from soap as he came in making u wince away the drowsiness as he placed a cup on your small desk. “Have some tea for u” “I dont need it, did u guys already have breakfast” “Sleeping beauty thanks to u we had the honor of breakfast and lunch by the lieutenant and believe it or not we are enjoying his tea and you sure should too. His brit really comes out” that seemed to surprise u as u look at the tea. Your throat does feel dry so u might as well. U taste it and its like the thing in his voice sweet with honey but bitter and strong. The cup also doesn’t belong to u. Its his own u note but strongly believe the man in front of u got them switched. That evening u only went out late enough for the only one patrolling to run into you as u were in desperate need of a smoke. And to your luck its the lieutenant. He looks at u and u look at your hand clearing your throat and fixing your back straight. “Thanks for the tea” why are u thanking him. Its only normal for all of u to have tea. “Do u have another one” u look at where he’s looking.. he’s asking for a smoke and u give him yours almost too eagerly and rashly. He takes it bending slightly and his hand comes to push the fabric on his face away as the surprising but somehow attractive view of his dry lips wrap around the cigarette you’re feeling hot again and the fever surely picked up because you find yourself forcing off a smile with a gulp. You quickly busy yourself with lighting another cigarette as he enjoys your first. You both wordlessly smoke away for a minute. Him because silence is only of ghosts nature and u because your mind has been preoccupied with the shape of his lips. His lips touching the spot where yours were. Him not bothering to even comment on technically revealing a feature of his face. You’re confused and feverish so u greet him good night in the most awkward form as u hit your bed again. Not that u get much sleep anyways.

But this time u cant not note it down to yourself his hand is gripping your wrist as u yell at his face. Yes his uncovered face that is adorned in crimson from a knife that grazed and cut off his skin along with his mask. He was too busy protecting you as an enemy made way across his well, safe eye, thankfully, and it had u fuming. Yes he’s your superior but you do not need protection. Not his not anyones it made u feel so little and useless when you for the first time to see his hell of attractive face but bleeding only because u were incompetent enough for him to lose his concentration. He is gripping your wrist and yelling back. “Soldier watch your mouth. If it weren’t for this cut your throat would’ve been the target.” “ I could’ve protected myself. No. I can.” You try to state but it comes off weak and breathless his eyes shutting u up from the thick air of intimidation as he breathes down at u. Hes mad. In all your months of working with the man u hadn’t encountered his so feared anger. It has your knees weak and your throat dry but u dont want him to own this situation away with it. So u speak up. “What has u so bothered sir if u dont want me fucking up your team its only fair u make a complaint ill be gone just as abruptly as i came” “dont u call me sir while fuckin telling me to give in to what u want” his tone is harsh and just a thin layer between low and desperate and his grip is harsher but u bite back “ you think id wanna leave after seeing your pretty face” its so fast your gasp cuts off as he wraps a hand around your throat and brings your faces closer. “U minx i told u to shut up”.

“And i told u to fuck off because it wont happen” he squeezes down on your airways his cold hand making your heating body shiver. Your eyes dont leave his dark lidded ones and for a moment the whole world disappears. Its only your huffs and his before he presses his lips with an overwhelming passion slamming u onto the desk by your throat causing your mouth to form in an o as he pushes his tongue against yours and you try at squeezing your thighs only to feel his own press to your middle. You’re mewling, your hips shaking slightly and he hovers over your mouth before dragging his teeth tauntingly at where his thumb on your neck is. Moving it to press down your tongue he bites down on the flesh you make the decision to suck on his thumb as the only way to quiet yourself. He lowly oh so lowly groans that u can barely make it out over your own sounds. His hands are everywhere.

Squeezing at your hips, ass, thighs, tits, anything he can reach with his needy urgency. But you find the strength to relish in your own urges hands pressing up his forearm and the other on his torso trying to get his tight shirt off so u can really feel his warm skin. When u cant get it off though you let out a whine that surprises both of you and he looks at u. Same big eyes that u save for such inconvenient moments looking up at him he lets out a low “fuckin hell name” and you whine again because the way your name sounds coming from him while he’s so heated has u rubbing yourself onto his thigh. He taps your cheek enough for your head to sway pathetically as u blush vividly “you sound too lewd for fucks sake” “ take your shirt off . Please” he shuts his eyes covering your mouth head dropping back before kicking your thighs apart with his own pressing his middle to your own. His mouth coming to the side of your head “now you’re behaving? Begging even?” “Fuck god just please i wanna touch u” he rips your shirt open biting at the skin of your plush chest as he tears his own off. You moan when u finally get your hands onto his skin wrapping hands around his neck once you’ve trailed them all the way to his shoulders bringing him down for a kiss. One that lasts for the entire time he needs to get u out of your trousers. He’s speaking in between your suffocating kiss “Wait” “Wait wait wait let me see u” his face is close before he straightens up trailing eyes all over your every curve only to fix at your clothed sticky mess causing his brows to furrow and his jaw to flex. The urge to shut your legs cut off by his waist so u wrap your legs around it pulling him closer “Ghost dont just look please “ “Its either simon or sir for u” he is kneeling down taking your legs over his shoulders biting onto the skin of your inner thighs and u think only briefly about sitting up to ask him not to tease u but your hands fly to your mouth to cover the surprise scream u let out when he licks over your clothed cunt. He pulls your underwear off with a demanding need shoving his face back into your slit lapping up at the juices. He speaks with a broken tone “ oh fuck you taste too good “ he’s biting at your clit before pressing three fingers onto your clenching hole. Your head fall forward as you tap at his shoulders too needy for his dick to be filling u up but he just grabs your hands with his free one holding them in place determined to make u cum on his face. His drinking your every drop and consuming your every sound , he wants to ravish u fully with how your thighs squeeze around his head. His fingers only growing in precision to that spot that makes u cry out just a little louder and dig your nails onto his skin. In far too little minutes youre buckling yourself onto his face biting down onto his glove he shoved into your mouth as u release all over his face twitching with every slight flick of his tongue as he drinks up the aftershocks looking up at u as if to say get your ass off there before smacking u right there and squeezing at the plushy flesh after and u move off the desk as he wastes no time in bending u over that desk and unzipping his pants his length forcing its way between your thighs “i wanna fuck u. Do u wanna fuck me? Hm?” And hes pulling at your jaw making u look up at him as u nod “ Please fuck me Simon “ he kisses u slowly as he starts feeding u his length with a significant self restraint.

Tears prickle at your eyes as u moan taking his hand and placing the fingers that were fuckin u in your mouth and it takes all in him and a bite to your shoulder for him not to pound u out of your skin right then. The desk presses right at the bulge his dick forms in your stomach and u feel dizzy mumbling and bitching about how it hurts too much “Simon no its too big i cant do this its like i can feel it in my throat, fuckin hell look there’s a bulge in my tummy”

Taking his hand and placing it on the bulge u rest your head on his chest looking up shaking your head but he takes his fingers out of your mouth only to cover it fully with his hand and presses down onto the imprint of his dick while starts ramming it inside your tight walls at a bruising pace. If u thought it hurt before now youre drunk off the pain it fills u up so well you whine at the thought of him ever leaving u empty. Digging your fingers on his arm u just give in and helplessly try to reach for his thrusts. He’s kissing at your temple, whispering about how your cunts made for him. “Simon-“ “Im right there with u pretty just let go for me” holding onto his arm u whither, your back arching off his chest as u hide your face onto his neck, taking in his scent as you cum. Your second orgasm not as sweet and far more difficult than the first one just from the size of the man. He leaves no time to breathe “come here on your knees, fuckin hell” hes fisting his dick right at your face and u place your fingers over his wrist taking him in your mouth and onto the back of your throat as u swallow with difficulty causing him to whimper lowly dropping his head back his sweet perfect voice the only thing ringing in your ears as u taste him all over your mouth. He takes it out of your mouth patting your head and rubbing your cheek pulling u up gently onto the desk putting u in his shirt and jacket so u dont get cold from the sweat. You reach for him whining as he cups your face kissing your lips and eyes “U know not to piss me off i assume “ u giggle shaking your head as u kiss his palms hugging him and it makes him freeze up not sure how to react. He hasn’t gotten a hug since.. ever u could say really. He looks down at u and your big eyes are brightly looking right up at him making him kiss u and i mean really kiss u. Youve lost your breath when he pulls away and youre dazed so he helps u onto his back hitting the bathroom.

[elsfairy]

───── BLOODLINE

• At the start of your relationship, Sevika didn't think for a second you would want to become her wife, let alone have a family with her. This was so new to her of course, and you understood why.

• Both of you were always talking about starting a family of your own. Sevika knew you loved kids. Of course you were scared that she would be against it, but she was pretty fucking excited. You only saw that a few times. She was either excited to spend time with you, or when she would see you. So this was a whole new world for the pair of you.

• It was weird at first, you had a child growing inside of you and it always freaked you out. You panicked a lot. You even cried because you couldn't even sit down without having a breakdown. But you were happy.

• God, Sevika was an angel, and so patient with you.

• First of, your moods were more heightened than they usually were. Something so small and basic could piss you off. Sevika forgot to put her dirty dishes in the sink? You're mad, and annoyed over it. You left your blanket in your bedroom? You're crying into your hands.

• But the soft brute is aware that you couldn't help your emotions and moods. She didn't take much offence when you would randomly call her an asshole, she would just kneel before you, and kiss your knuckles.

• "Im sorry, I will do the dishes and get your blanket when I'm done alright? Don't worry, I will take care of everything. Especially the both of you, Sweetness"

• You hated it. You really did not like that the smallest thing could make you snap. Even if you knew Sevika was patient, gentle and caring with you and your current fragile state, it still made you upset.

• Speaking of being upset. Sevika knew exactly when you would start getting stressed and emotional. She knew minutes before you did, so she would have you lay between her legs, and hold onto your hand. Telling you to breath in and out. "There you go, It's alright. Everything is okay"

• She could also tell by the way you look at her. Furrowed brows, and a pout on your lips (or when you chew on your bottom lip, either way she knows)

• Your back is hurting? Don't worry your precious heart, She's there helping you sit back on the couch, resting against a bunch of pillows to help you relax. Or rubbing your back slowly. Your feet are hurting? Sevika is already thinking way ahead of you, already rushing to rub them for you.

• You couldn't wear much of your typical clothes anymore because of your pregnancy so you practically raided Sevika's closet, and stole every shirt she owns. They were bigger on you by miles, but she always said you looked pretty in them. She also happens to think you look good pregnant in them too.

• Has the worst habit of poking your stomach when you're trying to rest. Literally all the fucking time. One minute you're deep in a slumber and the next you're being woken up by her soft voice.

• "You gonna sleep now? You always wake up when⎯ Oh, hey Sweetness, did i wake you up?"

• You find it really hard to be mad, because she did that every single night. You adored hearing it when she assumed you were sleeping. She was the biggest softie.

• Baths are a must. No matter the time, she's running them for you because she needs you to relax. Always makes sure to add extra bubbles, the way you've always liked it.

• Won't ever let you do anything. If you're bathing, she's there helping you wash, especially when it came to your hair. You also just found it relaxing the way her blunt nails would scratch your scalp. She was a pro hair washer.

• If you need something off a high shelf, then don't worry she's already getting up to get it for you. If you need something that is down low, she's already bending down asking what it was that you needed. She's doing everything for you, even if that means somehow brushing your teeth when you're too tired.

• Constantly has her hand on your stomach. You're always the little spoon, and you can bet your sweet behind that she's got her hand protectively resting lightly on the bump. You're walking around the streets with her? You're huddled under her cloak, with her hand once again, protectively resting against your stomach.

• Both of you were happy. God, so happy that you were finally starting to have your own family. But there were days when you didn't feel okay. The constant fear of insecurity seeping through. Always feeling like you're not even beautiful anymore, or ever.

• You had grown accustomed to wearing dresses most of the time because they didn't feel tight on you, but every time you found yourself looking in the mirror, you didn't feel beautiful.

"I got you some water⎯ Sweetheart? You alright?" Sevika frowns when she spots you looking In the mirror, looking at yourself silently. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"I don't⎯ God why didn't you tell me I looked ridiculous in this?"

"Ridiculous? Babe what? You're beautiful, what are you talking about?" She appears behind you quite quickly at your question, looking at you in the mirror sadly. "Hey, don't speak about my wife like that, she's beautiful" She scolds you lightly, resting her chin on your shoulder. "You're so beautiful, you've always been beautiful. I don't like when you say these things about yourself. You're so pretty too"

• Refuses to let you speak down on yourself. If you say something about the weight you've gained, she's reassuring you that you're fucking beautiful and always has to remind you that you are indeed carrying a child so it's normal. If you say something about how ugly you look, she's scolding you because that's not true. You're breathtaking. Perfect and stunning. When she sees you deep in thought, already knowing what you're thinking then she shuts it down. She won't ever let you speak badly about yourself. You're her beautiful Sweetheart. She knows you deal with insecurity but she will remind you that you're beautiful. No matter what.

• She knows you get tired a lot more easily so if she notices you're falling asleep on the couch when you've made plans, she will cancel them just to help you to the bed. You're not going out if you can barely keep your eyes open.

• Sevika doesn't mind when you fall asleep with your head in her lap. She enjoys it. Won't ever tell you that of course but it doesn't stop her from running her fingers through your hair, rubbing your stomach with the other.

• Has no shame in talking to your stomach, referring to the unborn child as peanut. It's cute, and you just happen to enjoy it whenever she uses it. Sometimes she will use the nickname 'bratty peanut' because your child is never letting you rest. At all.

• VERY protective of you when you're outside. She doesn't trust anyone. If she's working, and you need something? She's dropping everything to be there with you. You need to take a walk because you're feeling anxious? Sevika is right beside you, a protective arm around your waist. She gives you space yes, but she won't let you leave the house without her.

• It's hard to have space away from her because you need her all the time.

• You've gained weird food cravings, which Sevika herself finds disgusting but she loves you so much so, of course, she was going to make it for you. Currently, for whatever reason, you liked peanut butter and pickles.

• Constantly telling you she loves you. Even on the days where you feel like crap. Always telling her child she can't wait to meet them, and hold them. It's beautiful.

• Just a little back up here, but morning sickness was something Sevika always got herself ready for. Knowing exactly when you were going to wake up, so she never hesitated to help you out of the bed, and into the bathroom.

• The best person to hold your hair. and rub your back slowly She did it every single time the pair of you got drunk months into your relationship. She did it for weeks when the morning sickness started. And she will continue to do so.

• Sevika had her moments when you were able to sleep. Just so in awe that she was yours & you were hers. That she had her own family. If she thought she would have been married, and now almost having a child years ago, she wouldn't believe it. She was thankful for you, and happy that you were never scared of her.

• You cherish the moments you have with her. How much she promises your child that she's always going to be there. How she's always going to protect them.

• Your favourite is when she slips between your legs, leaning her head upon them gently and just looks at you with so much love.

• "I'll never let anyone hurt them, or you. You have my word"

• Will always find herself shamelessly staring at you. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Hell, you could be sat on the bed, reading one of the baby books Sevika found, and she would still think you're effortlessly beautiful.

• "Sorry, you're just really pretty" "Can't help it, you're gorgeous" "I'm so lucky to have you both" "You just look really good pregnant"

• She will do anything for you. Whatever you ask, she's right there with you. Every step of the way.

• She's your wife. She's the mother of your child, but she's also your guardian angel.

[esoteriamaya]

Vulnerability: Healing The Body One Day At A Time.

Sometimes I want to stay private. Other times I want to open up. Staying hidden had been a sanctuary at one point. Not sharing with the world my feelings and what damaged me. I got tired of feeling burdens in my body, so at the moment where can I start?

In this present moment, I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm worried. I'm exhausted. I'm hopeless. It seems the descriptions of lower feelings doesn't end. I've tried ignoring these feelings, replacing them with good thoughts. Trying to keep an optimistic smile, but that fake smile started to hurt.. And the mask began to wear off one day at a time.

It hurts to feel loneliness, but the truth is nothing can steal your joy but whatever dried up emotions are left infiltrating the mind with unwanted banter.

Its like... I can point out my flaws and my differences but I can't face the truth. I'm tired of truth. It's all I see everyday.

And what makes it funnier? I'm an oracle, and all I do is be 100% honest with people, but with me.... I lie so the triggers won't push too deep. I've ignored the villain that was imposter syndrome, and constantly took life too serious... Until life became a big circus show. And I'm the circus freak giving my performance.

Im annoyed, and constantly fighting tears. When I would cry and have those battles on the ground screaming 'I can't do it', it told me to get up and pick myself back up. You've grown up... you can't waddle your way out of this one.

I had no clue what I was doing, and before I still didn't, this new phase of adulthood I'm entering seems too much to handle but this where reality starts to hit. You're getting.., old. Older. More mature. Buying a house, getting a new car, even creating your own family. Life started to get a little practical... I thought I'd be a kid forever. But I was only talking about the imagination. Its fun being an adult, its so much freedom. It's just... I'm not built for whatever this reality is trying to show us, but I'm still trying. I'm still bringing forth change in my mindset, being more resilient. And allowing myself to be more than what my mind is constantly saying to me.

I've faced myself so much in 2023... Like.. the amount of times I had to look at myself in the mirror and could not escape. And sleeping with a mirror facing your bed don't make it no better, just makes you feel the emotions quicker (i got an interesting feeling when it comes to mirrors... portals man, portals).

I guess society has gotten its grip on the depressed gang, I've been working my way thru it. Theres absolutely no way in telling people that its easy to let go. Just something you learn to process on your journey. I'm learning both can be true at once. I'm learning to figure out what works, even if it takes a journey to reveal itself to me.

So how is this effecting my body... I get random body aches, I've had to make several hospital visits.. all of which there was no idea where the problem was truly stemming from. The doctor would prescribe me pills, they'd work for a while. Then later... the pain would come back again.

When our bodies are feeling pain especially in the organs, theres a spiritual connection that is making that happen. I use spiritual loosely here, what I mean is that our bodies can be carrying a lot of unwanted emotions. Be it rage, stress, depression, anything we don't want to feel but finds its way stuck in the body it'll start messing with your insides later on. When our spirits cannot rely the message, our bodies will for us.. for better or for worse.

I've found out I have health issues I didn't know existed.. I'm joking, well not really. I had no clue what galbladder disease was and def not anything with the gut. Even though I'd have random stomach aches here and there I never knew this would actually be an underlying problem. I didn't think I'd end up with a bunch of problems and it taking years to fix... Although I can be stubborn, I finally changed the way I ate.. it's been helping a bit.. I always did physical activity, but I noticed in my my present reality (3-6 months) its every other day out of the week. That's okay.

With accepting this truth I learned to be open to it because I started bawling.. I was losing weight like a mf and I had to drop all my clothes, still gotta do it now, or just get them tighten up. But its overwhelming.

I'm exhausted all of the time. My body is always on 'stop mode'. I can't work like the average woman because it gets me tired quicker. It kind of irks me because I want to do a little more but I just can't.

I feel as if I'm running out of time and I just don't know what to do. My subconscious is showing signs of paranoid thinking and I just can't see why I'm still running from my own reality.

its. just. too. much.

Im exhausted. And I've barely done anything.

I'm learning to feel my pain. Processing the very things that forced me into an uncomfortable matter.

It hurts to feel the feels of others dualities, but what do I do?

I gotta make amends with the shit I've dealt with, make use of them and take stride with whatever info comes up.

That's the secret. Pay attention to any fears, worries and anxious thoughts you could be picking up on because it's showing you a gate way to whats missing.

[shenji-yei]

I’m wearing less and less makeup recently. I’m only doing it for Irish dance competitions to match my costume (it’s usually the most conventionally acceptable makeup, you know, brow shapes, eyeliners, mascara etc.) and for family dinners during some kind of holidays like New Year or someone’s birthday, but for latter ones I’m usually making it as extravagant as possible, like, goth one, patterns on my face, drawings, weird look and hairstyle (basically keeping my “family freak” persona).

when I’m hearing that someone does “makeup for themselves” I’m usually confused. Like girl why is your “for myself” makeup is the same smoky eyes, lipstick shade, brow contour and mascara? You kidding me? We girls saying “it’s for myself” and doing the exact same shapes of eyeliner and eye shadows. I could’ve understand it if we were painting flowers on our face. shaving eyebrows or leaving them blonde or ginger as our natural color. I could’ve understand if we were using our face as a canvas to create, not as a mask to make it acceptable by norms.

and moreover, about all this “makeup for myself” thing… I have a ton of makeup in my house left from my 14-18 age period, but hell… even If I want to express myself, the LAST thing I would do to express my todays mood is makeup. It’s uncomfy. It’s always feeling like a dirt or stain on my face. I want to wipe it off. Even if I will draw something extraordinary in my face I will get tired of it like instantly. I remember in last school grades and in the first college years I was wearing like eyeshadow to make my eyes look more tired and my lips look paler, yeah, I loved looking like a corpse, it wasn’t something conventionally acceptable AT ALL, but still.. it was a makeup. It was a dust and paint on my face. And I was constantly tired, stressed and burnt out, I rubbed my eyes and washed my face at lunch breaks with cold water to stay awake. I loved being “goth and freaky” but still makeup was so uncomfortable, even when I was wearing it “for myself”.

Wearing makeup, even freaky one, requires rules and patience… and im so used to freedom I gained, so I can’t even force myself to draw something “just for fun”. I mean, I think makeup is the last thing that could express you. Clothes, hair, jewelry - please, im ready. It’s not that hard for me to wear that oriental dress and put on some massive jewelry. But makeup… oh my, it’s so messy. It’s so annoying. Even if I sincerely want to draw some lines on my face like a warriors coloring, it’s so uneasy. Idk, but when I gained the possibility to do makeup “for myself”, like really, for myself… I don’t do that. Maybe im just not a makeup person, I don’t know. Please tell me about your experiences with liberation from makeup.

photos below: doing conventionally acceptable makeup for competitions & shows, doing freaky makeup for myself from time to time (this one is quite old), not doing makeup at all.

I’m sharing because… It’s hard to believe but now, years later, I can finally go outside with no makeup at all… sometimes when I meet someone I feel uneasy because of my “unprepared look”… but I feel so free not waking up early every day and not spending so much time to paint my face. I feel so free blinking, breathing, washing and touching my face. It’s so cool to fall asleep without worrying to have something on your eyes and skin. It’s so cool to get under the rain. It’s so cool that my face can smile, eat and laugh.

[atopvisenyashill]

🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇷🐢🏝️ i got tired of complaining constantly on my main blog (@thewingedwolf is me!) about how sansa and rhaenyra did nothing wrong and also i needed a way to organize my theories and stuff. yes i have read all the books. yes i have (unfortunately) seen the whole show. yes i have seen all of hotd as well. so here we go. my stances are this, so you have an idea what to expect:

i am a catelyn, sansa, brienne, elia, lyanna and rhaenyra stan FIRST and a person SECOND

i would die for Gaemon Palehair, Lady Essie, and Sylvenna Sand, those are my canon OCs, and that’s why they’re my header.

Sansa and Bran are my favorites! I am a Sansa will be Queen in the North truther and a Bran will be the King in Harrenhal conspiracy theorist, It Is Heavily Foreshadowed In The Text and I stand on that!!

I'm well aware Rhaenyra has plenty of faults, I am saying that the greens (as in, the characters) do not like her because of her gender, and not for stuff she does that’s actually wrong, also, idc that she did all of that i simply think she’s fun.

Helaena really IS the one who did nothing wrong tho.

i am a Dark Daenerys believer. no, i don’t hate her - in fact, i really love her, although i do hate her show counterpart - I just think her arc is heading towards a dark path and being a villain protagonist is the more interesting route for her character.

House Martell will rise or I will piss in old man germ’s cornflakes.

I Will talk about the racism Dorne faces in the text and outside of it and neither your favorite house nor my favorite house is exempt from this. If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself bc i do not care 🙏🏽

i multiship!! just bc i ship it doesn’t mean i think it’s gonna happen in the series, i just like the dynamic!!

i am in fact the annoying book jonsa truther they warned you about. i will Stay bitter about this. argue with the wall.

with that said, i also like theonsa, throbb, daemyra, laenyra, rhaewin, nedcat, braime, briensa, and a million other ones. faves listed here. several of them are dead dove-esque; what can i say, that's just george's style.

you decide whether it’s romantic or platonic when it’s an incest one, my opinion changes by the hour & im gonna fight grrm for making me think this much about incest.

i don’t like jonerys!!!!!! i'm sansan & sanrion ambivalent and i simply do not care about littlefucker like that. i would say i’ve thought positively about basically every other ship.

i’m in the middle of a reread, as of this moment (april 2024) i’ve kinda stalled on the beginning of a dance with dragons but i Have started a rewatch of the tv series as a form of torture.

i first read this series when i was 16 in like 2012-2013. i love to bitch about the takes i’ve seen. i sometimes reblog really old ass graphics bc they deserve new life even tho the creators are long since deactivated. i sometimes make graphics that look like they’re from 2014 bc we should bring that style back dammit i hate the typography movement going on rn.

big on tagging triggers so lmk (i’ll tag for all characters & major triggers but i’m fine with adding a specific one if asked and don't worry about it being a "weird" trigger - if sean bean's face or knives or wolves or whatever trigger you, i'm happy to tag for that!). my spoiler policy is that i’ll tag everything from this season as “hotd spoilers” and any of the Big Events with “episode title spoilers” but i can’t guarantee I can be consistent longer than like 2 days though i will try!! i Will be talking about any book canon events tho, the books have been out for years either you know how to avoid them or you know everything, i’m not tagging that.

i have a tag page that is more organized than the slapdash nonsense on this post, feel free to check it out here.

i may sound angry but i promise i am genuinely just here for a laugh. i just have resting bitch voice and no feel for tone and use the word fuck too much. it’s fine and unserious.