#and im so proud of getting ot out there at least

[autobahnmp3]

GUESS who brought up autism to their psychiatrist???🥰

[devdozes]

vent, dont read and ignore post if ur uncomfy, mentions of suicide. god I'm sofukign tired, I want pplt o approach me, love me and just cherish me, why am I always the lone one. whyi is my stpiud fucking body so weak, why am I terrible at everything, I suck at art, writing , everything. even studies. i feel alone wevyehwre, I feel hollow and empty, god I want to km. i cut and self harm but nothing happens, no one cares. even if I disappear, no one will notice, I rely on stupid fiction media and fucking strange for love, but that is also temporary I draw and write inhpppes that someone will care at least, but now also I feel like I'm not real, that I'm not worth existing. Im losing everything, my skills which I never had, I'm clinging on for hope but I don't want it. I WANT SOMEOENE TO FUCKIG ACRE, no one cares about my writing which I'm proud of, no ones for m art which I'm proud of, what the point of living then. I would write a suicide in hopes but that also people would not care and give fake hopes that they love me. No one reaches out. NO ONE I reach out to people because I know how it feels like, yet in the end I'm left alone, I'm never the first choice. I'm never approached first or texted first, my only validation is from teeny praise from whoever it is. And that also is temporary I get fictional characters to like me, I become obsessed and and god i just want someone to love and cherish me, I want to cry in someone's arms who understand me, love me. I love people but I'm not loved back. I try to show things I love only to be ignored and getting very little attention.

iS it that selfish to want osmone care, check up on you, to want to be the first choice for once? i want to know what it feelslike. But everytime. I don't have anyone with me. I feel bad that I just rely on social media. My parents said that my sadness is because of my social media. But social media is my comfort. Fiction is my comfort otherwise I have no one. And I open my phone expecting someone to reach out to me but I get nothing.

I feel like wanting to sleep forever, i have the urge to self hark, cry and just disappear forever, do nothing , just stay and be yk

I feel disconnected from my body. I feel like I don't belong in this world, I feel no one in this world is real and I'm not real . Like I'm just forcefully in this body, I'm daydreaming and in my world the entire time and when I remember that this is real, my chest hurts. Alot I start hyperventiatig and I just feel disconnected from my emotions body and everything

i cant even tell my parents cuz theythink I'm overreacing and hat its cuz of my "overthinking and phone" its not/ I can tell them nothing and then when I act sad they go "why r u so sad" and I cant even tell them the true reason so they just scream at me for bein sad all the time.

I want my family to havra better daughter, I want my brother to have a better sister

I want my little brother ot forget about me and get a better sister, but that also, I want to see him grow up, to spend time with him, to hug him and tease him. at the same time I cant tolerate life anymore.

yah im addicted, i open my laptop, phone to hope for notifications, I disappear off social medias for DAYS, and I hope that maybe people will care.. i want to end it but at the same time I wantppl to care and help me, I put signs but eveyrine ignores them. everyfuckingone.

my pathetic body is so weak, heart tumor, fuckign spinal problems, and I love sports, I'm forced to quit and only study study study. i don't know what I want to do, I don't know anything.evrything is foggy to me.

my parents r nice, i had a nice life why am i like htis, god. i dont deserve to feel like this.

God i want to kill myself, i cant do this anymore. please. Im sorry.

[siunytoons]

I SAW SOMEBODY DO THIS

so its like how ppl think they'd b aligned w fears as an avatar? girl idk I just wanna do it cuz boredemmm

Eye: ermm I dunno. I'm a little slow w observing stuff sometimes and I don't rlly care when people watch me. lwk indifferent to this one cuz I'm not that much of a curious person. so not that compatible I don't think! whoopsie daisies

spiral: hmmm. I'm like super sane. sometimes I'm disorganized sometimes I'm not, but that's not super relevant. I'm not afraid I'm going like, cray or anything. I'm just kinda there tbh. prolly not aligned!

The flesh: hrmm. maybe. like, I don't hate how I look, personally I think I'm pretty, but sometimes I wanna just reshape myself. but like, not obsessively. so also prolly not aligned

the lonely: honestly? yeah tbh. I've got friends and crap but I tend to be isolating myself. not like, on purpose or anything, but it just kinda happens. I gotta fight to actually be noticed occasionally and it TOTALLY sucks. maybe aligned!

the slaughter: nope. I'm the least violent person I know

hunt: also no. super spooked by being chased and chasing people. it makes me nervous and I don't think I'd be aligned well.

the stranger: hey queens! also not aligned. wow, I am on a nonaligned combo here. call me the average joe cuz I am powering through this! I never ever really felt like I wasn't quite human or a stranger to anyone. I'm like, friendly and nice and not super into blending into a crowd too much

web: err, no. maybe when I was like younger cuz like, I'd cry to get out of trouble. but what kid didn't do that. Im a control freak sometimes, but that was all kinda in the past tbh. I'm a way better person now and honestly Im proud. non aligned! (I hope)

dark: nope. sunlight's just better. sorry queens

end: girl if ur not afraid of dying I'm afraid of u sorry! (jk). Srsly though. DEF not aligned

desolation; NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. whoever finds it fun to destroy things that make others happy? U make me SICK. def not aligned. love siun!

corupptionnnn: wow I just realized I snatched the "the" outta the fears after a bit. whoops! anyway, Im kinda indifferent to sickness and bugs. like, bees are my OPP. but I know they're natural and I share the world with them so like, why let it control me y'know? as for diseases, its whatever. I mean, it totally sucks ot get them, but also natural. non aligned!

buried: EW. DISGUSTING. NO. I absolutely HATE confined spaces. If I was ever an avatar of this I would DIE.

the vast: actually, maybe. this is the one I kinda lean towards mostly cuz like I'm always kinda head in the clouds lost in the sauce and all that jazz. I need an intervention for my constant spacing out. so like, probably my top one as of now. Plys, oceans and skies are kinda cool tbh. ESPECIALLY THE OCEAN. a little scary, but the beach oh em geeee. ily ocean <3

the extinction: who wants this. like genuinely. everyone hates this fear. KILL THIS FEAR. human life is NOT being eradicated. I love being alive

YURRT FINISHED!!!! What I've concluded is that I am a very normal person. thank you for listening to my tedtalk

[kisslaterr]

enhypen, twice and monsta x 💓💓

finally got around to answer that oml sorry!

enhypen : attempting to / no? (i don't necessarily plan on but i do know a bit)

who or what caught my attention : niki! he seemed fierce in a way?

why i want to stan : i've been enjoying their comebacks so far

what i already know about them : hybe, from a survival show yada yada, they have a storyline i believe?

current favorite member : can't really tell, too early 😔

a question i have for veteran fans : i heard that the show was pitting them against each other so i'd like to hear if you can tell their bond feels strange or on the contrary do they suprisingly get along? i don't really watch their content so

twice : YES

my bias + bias wrecker : jihyo!!! she hits just right

first time i heard of them : mmm i think i saw their debut on the fine bros or smth but when i got into kpop in 2017 i saw a bit more

when i became a fan : i think around yes or yes era???

favorite (and least favorite) title track : fav > either likey or feel special? least fav > like ooh ah or knock knock?

favorite (and least favorite) b-side : fav > 24/7!! its in a ot of my playlists, also first time, and least fav i actually dk

favorite (and least favorite) mv : fav > what is love or cheer up those are classics 😤 least fav > knock knock bc of the senior citizen

favorite (and least favorite) album : fancy, eyes wide open and least fav idk (can u tell i cant pick what i dislike yet)

a concept i wished they’d try : i wanna see smth retro yknow in the vibes of exid's lady perhaps?? or smth cosmic too :o

what i like most about them : they feel like a big tight hug just seeing them having fun has me so happy fr, they've been through a whole lot and im proud of them i gotta say, talented gals deserve it!

monsta x : i say yes bc i was really into them but i have to admit i haven't been following them as closely :( but! i still know a bunch

my bias + bias wrecker : alors là.. maybe jooheon?

first time i heard of them : i think i heard hero or stuck?? when it came out

when i became a fan : i think before jealousy dropped!

favorite (and least favorite) title track : fav > all in, least fav > im sorry but i have to say love killa i couldnt get into it for some reason

favorite (and least favorite) b-side : i think saddly i know too little of their discography to answer well, i do enjoy fallin' tho lol

favorite (and least favorite) mv : fav > all in of course! least fav : miss trespass...

favorite (and least favorite) album : once again idk... though if we talk eras maybe i can say my fav was around shoot out, and least fav around dramarama perhaps?

a concept i wished they’d try : the vibes that jus2 had..

what i like most about them : family fr :( makes me realize i've been missing out recently damn i need to catch up.. but yeah similar to seventeen they just work so weel together, be it on and off stage, love seeing them

[littlx-songbxrd]

okok here it is, i don't have a working title yet lol and i wrote the first like three paragraphs a year ago and only now finished it

but uh here it is ig (it's long so below the cut)

oh and i named the characters before i read chog believe it or not so there is no correlation lol

Prologue - Cordelia

May brings with it the memory of battles fought and won and the ever looming presence of a war not quite lost but certainly nowhere near done. As I hand out threadbare blankets around the flickering fires of the temporary war camp, I have to force my mind not to stray to all the people who should be here but are not. Well, the one person, really. I don’t allow myself to dwell, for I know that if I let my heart open to loss, there will be no hope at closing the hole left behind. No one here will tolerate that.

Yet no one criticizes Halen when she fumbles and breaks her fragile composure, storming out of the planning tent, the memories glistening in her eyes threatening to spill over. No, when it’s her, they rush to comfort her, to appease her, and they tell her to take all the time she needs. After all, has the poor girl not been through enough? they whisper pityingly as though we all haven’t lost others to this fight. But, of course, it’s not my place to comment on the actions of the mighty Chosen One. Even if she is my friend.

I look down to find my hands are empty. Tir has taken the last blanket from me without my noticing, and he’s settling down against his pack with his bare feet at the fire. I scowl; he isn’t allowed to speak against Halen either, despite being her older brother.

Heaving a sign, I slump down next to my friend and pull a corner of the blanket over myself. Tir shifts slightly so I can lean against his shoulder. We don’t speak. There are no words big enough to dispel the cloud of grief that hangs over us.

I know Tir is thinking of Zo today, just like he knows I’m thinking of Cherry.

Both of us, I’m sure, are also thinking that Halen ought to be here. She ought to be spilling those tears she always threatens and apologizing meaninglessly for deaths that aren’t her fault. Since when did she choose to be distant and calm? Couldn’t she at least have the decency to break down with the rest of us?

I scowl at a gecko as it skitters through the dirt toward the treeline to the west. I should say something to Halen. I should scream at her, sob at her, cry out until she understands that we need her as a friend, not just a commander.

My mind made up, I stand quickly, earning a confused stare from Tir. “Where are you off to?” he asks, his voice thick.

I shake my head. “Somewhere that isn’t here.”

He chuckles and reaches up to squeeze my hand. It’s enough. He was never one for many words.

I smile sadly down at him and set off to the eastern shore, where the purple and gold tents of the Eneris royal tents have been set up. Their fire and sun emblem shines bright on the tent flaps behind guards dressed in layers upon layers of robes and wraps and blankets. I scoff. The army settled just twenty yards away is shivering under thin blankets and dying fires while the royals and their company dine on mutton and venison. Not that I’ve come to expect anything else from them. They recruited Halen and built this army from the ground up—of course they believe themselves worthy of a few more precious coins exchanged for better conditions.

Even today, the first anniversary of Monvira’s troops storming villages and uprooting lives, they haven’t so much as acknowledged the flood of pain that’s sweeping through their army. I wonder if they even know what May first means to their people.

I stop mid-stride, staring straight ahead at the Strategy tent, where I know Halen spends most of her time these days.

It hits me: May first. The sky is clouded and the birds are silent, but it’s May first and no one bothered telling me that I forgot my birthday. Which was April thirtieth. No one noticed.

Weariness pushes at the back of my eyes, and I blink heavily against the tears blurring my vision. Memories from last year flood my mind as I turn and hurry towards Halen’s private tent. It bares the same colors and seal as the others.

I collapse on her bedroll and let out a single sob.

Last year, on the night of my birthday, Cherry had wrapped a blanket around us both as we stumbled back to our village after a whole day spent together at Renton Lake. She’d kissed my hand and twirled me toward the hut I shared with Halen, giggling in the moonlight, her dark unbound hair spilling over her shoulder like a waterfall of night. The memory rips through me, forcing another sob out of my quaking body.

The next morning, she’d been gone.

I’m not sure how long I lay there, my tears collecting in a pool around my head, but eventually the shaking subsides and leaves behind a solemn heaviness. Only when I hear the tent flap ruffle do I stir. There’s a small gasp, then: “Delia?”

Halen’s nickname for me only makes the smallest dent in my sorrow. I push myself to a sitting position, sure that my face is red and splotchy and my hair wild and tangled. All in all, I don’t blame her for looking taken aback. “Delia, what is it?” she gushes, crouching before me and taking my face in her hands. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

This is exactly what I wanted when I stormed in here. Now, I nearly laugh. It’s pathetic, really, all this time I’ve spent cleaning up after Halen, chasing her, thinking maybe she could do something that would fill the cavity growing inside me. I see it now, as her hazel eyes rake my face. “Nothing,” I tell her. Her thumbs are soft as they wipe away the tears that trickle down my cheeks. “Not anymore.” My voice is scratchy, and I push down against a wave of shame. I’m better than this. I’m better than breaking down in my friend’s plush tent. I’ve never been the emotional one—that was always Halen.

I wipe away my tears, feel myself stand and walk out of the tent, my mind still occupied with hazy revelations I’m too exhausted to fully pursue. There’s a feeling in my gut, the only one that matters right now, and it’s an overwhelming cry to get out.

The grass is silent under my feet as I walk, and I’m distantly aware of Halen calling after me. Her cries of “Wait!” and “What’s going on, Cordelia?” follow me, even after she stops.

I keep walking.

I don’t look back.

---

so uh yeah that's it 👉👈 i can give u the idea of the book if u want or you can just take this offering and run lol <33

Im gonna give you my unfiltered thoughts with no order or organization

REMEMBER ME WHEN YOURE RICH AND FAMOUS AND A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR

OMG IM GONNA GET TO BRAG I SAW THE PROLOGUE TO AN AWARD WINNING BOOK IN THE FUTURE HOLY SHIT

I DONT HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS AND IM BILINGUAL

RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS IN TWO LANGUAGES GO YOU

SHE DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER HER BIRTHDAY HOLY SHIT

LOOK I ADORE THE FEELINGA CORDELIA POTRAYED DURING THE ENTIRE PROLOGUE

LIKE HOW YOU WROTE IT IS JUST

I WANTED HER TO COME BREAKDOWN WITH THE REST OF US?????

NO IM SORRY IM HORRIBLE AT COMPLIMENTING EVERYTHING HERE IS BRILLIANT

1) i have a basis for how the crown is unfair (based on cordelias description) ALSO HOW CORDELIA DESCRIBED "i wasnt even sure if they knew what may 1 meant to their people" IDK BUT I LOVED HOW OT WAS WRITTEN. Its not explicit BUT LEAVES THE MESSAGE SAID

2) basis to whats going on? C H E C K

3) JUST HOW YOU WROTE CORDELIAS GRIEVE AND ESTABLISHED THE CHARACTER

Artie i've told you a million times but I adore your writting style, i always adored it BIT READING YOUR ORIGINAL WORK

I FEEL SO PROUD OF YOU?????

Your style is perfect

I WASNT LOST WHICH IS GOOD!

AND LEAVES ME WANTING FOR MORE

I DIDNT NOTICE BUT MY PHONE HAS LOW BATTERY SO IF I DONT REPLY AFTER THIS ITS THAT BUT TELL ME MORE PLS

[voorbeees]

[ hi im back with a part 2 bc im a sappy bitch. you can read part one here ]

Jesse makes his way into the kitchen. Early mornings are a thing he's had to get used to and there doesn't seem to be enough coffee in the world to keep him awake. Sure he's typically awake for work, but he schedules appointments around the time he spends recouping from his nightly hobby. After all a business doesn't run itself. He thinks this, accompanied with a move to LA shortly after taking the girl in could play a large part in it.

Shortly after they'd arrived at the new home, Tilly had been thrilled to learn she had her own room and own things. Apparently that was another thing her mother had failed to provide. He wants to ask her what her life was like before, but each time he thinks to broach the subject something makes him shy away from it. Maybe it's for the best. Besides, considering what it was, Jesse's sure he'll feel fire settle in his veins. Not long after that he'd had her enrolled in a small private school. It was never too early to start an education. He's also taken it upon himself to start teaching her ASL. The decision was only made final when she had looked up at him with those puppy dog eyes and said the simple phrase "I wish we could talk better."

And that had been another thing, not once had she acted like he was a stranger. It was actually the opposite. She acted like she'd known him her whole life. Maybe that was good, it made breaking the ice less difficult, at least in his mind.

Now Jesse adjusts his black suit coat, making sure he looks dressed to a T, even if he is just going downstairs. He's always been one to preen, current circumstances haven't changed that at all. Black Oxfords echo off the marble floor and he's instantaneous met with the beaming face of Tilly.

"Jesse! Jesse!" She rushes from her seat at the dining room table and bounces around his legs. Her tiny red curls dance about her shoulders in the process. She wastes no time in asking for her favorite thing, which is only made obvious a split second later when she holds her arms up, waiting to be picked up.

He picks her up with ease, acting like she weighs nothing (and to him she probably does). Her tiny arms wrap around his neck. She's made it clear she enjoys being at his height. Tilly pulls out of the hug a second later and starts flapping a tiny arm in the air. "I've been practicing with my writing!" She beams, little face begging for approval. He'd be cruel to deny her that so Jesse nods and walks the both of them back over to the table. Tilly wiggles herself out of his grasp just enough so she can grab the paper and shove it in his face.

It takes his eye a moment to focus and he has to hold the paper back a bit but sure enough, there in a child's scrappy handwriting is her name repeated at least ten times. Her statement is met with a slow nod of approval.

"Oh!" She finally makes the effort to remove herself from his arms and settle back into her chair. "Maybe I can try writing your name next?" It's a question but he knows what she's implying and its not a moment later that he pulls his phone out. He spends a moment typing on it and then turns it around to face her.

J-E-S-S-E

An amused look settles on his scarred face as he sees her focusing all her attention to write his name. Her tongue pokes out of the left side of her mouth as she finishes the last letter and holds it up, rather proud of herself.

It's messy but it's a cute gesture, so he takes it from her and pins it to the fridge with a magnet. That earns him a squeal of delight. The excitement is short lived as she goes back to her task. Jesse takes the opportunity to finally pour himself a cup of coffee.

' YOU'RE SPENDING THE DAY WITH SPANN. ' He hasn't actually left her alone yet. At least not that she knows. He's made sure to always leave when she's asleep, a caretaker there if something was to arise in his absence. The last thing he wants is for Tilly to think he's abandoning her.

"Why?" She asks as she looks up at him and then goes back to her work.

' I HAVE...BUSINESS. ' If you can consider visiting a plastic surgeon business. It's something he's wanted to do since he first saw what was once his "face". But Spann and the doctors had highly discouraged any reconstruction until the scars were fully healed. All in all it had added up to almost a year's time and it had been nothing but pure hell. Not that he cared what people thought when they saw him, more so he cared what he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror. It wasn't good. Hell, for the first several months he'd busted every mirror within five feet of him, going so far as to have them removed from places of his organization that had them. It'd been a touchy subject and not many could breach it.

Jesse remembers when Tilly saw his face for the first time. It had been the next day and it was on accident. He wasn't planning on showing the mangled part of himself until she seemed comfortable around him. But she had walked in on him in his home office. He'd been sitting at his desk, mask safety packed away in the chrome case. She was supposed to be sleeping and much to his horror when he had looked up, she wasn't. Instead she was standing in the doorway with wide eyes. He'd frozen like a deer in headlights. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Was she scared of him? Fuck, he'd be scared of himself. It's not like he even looked human anymore. He sat there for what felt like an eternity, unmoving until she walked forward. "You got hurt bad, huh?" She hadn't looked at him in disgust, but rather understanding. It was like it was the most common thing to ever happen. Tilly had come up and stood in front of him. "I got hurt one time too." She pulled her hair back to show a small indention on her forehead. "I hit my head and it left a really big spot." Something about that small stupid child gesture had made him laugh. It had demolished the wall he had built, afraid of traumatizing her.

Tilly lays her pencil down and looks up at Jesse now. To only be six she's intuitive. She can tell by the way he grips the handle of the mug and shifts his weight slightly that something is off. Usually its "I have work." Not "business." It's an odd choice of words. So she does what kids do best, she bombards him with fucking questions. "What kind?"

' BUSINESS. '

There's that word again. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't fucking pick out the problem. "Can I come?" Jesse shakes his head 'no.' A tiny frown creases her brow. "Do you have to go to the doctor?" Suddenly she gasps, standing up in her chair. "Are you sick!?"

Jesse's signing and shaking his head 'no' before he can stop himself. It's not hard to tell she's working herself up. Fuck, the last thing he wants right now or at all is her to he upset.

"Are-are you going for your face?" Tilly sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. Of course he fucking is, why else would he go to a god damned doctor. He obviously can't say it like that so he nods. "Bu-but there's nothing wrong with it!" Now she's just being polite, Jesse's sure of it. But the logical part of his brain says no, she's upset because she fucking cares about you you god damned fool. "What i-if I don't know who you are after? Because you lo-ook different?!" At that she breaks into full on hysteria. There's a few other words but Jesse can't make them out. It just all sounds garbled to him.

He considers pulling his phone out again but settles for a different approach. Jesse lowers himself on to one knee a few inches from her perch in the chair. He signs "hush" and "okay". Those are the easiest ones she's able to read but she just shakes her head crying even harder. "It's no-ot okay!" There's a hiccup added after she finishes speaking and for a split second Jesse thinks she's going to suffocate on her own tears. He blinks several times, actually taken aback by just how upset she is over this. This is a good thing not a bad one. He's going to look better but she doesn't want that. Of course he understands the whole "changing of features" process but it's still him. It's not like he's cutting off one of his fucking hands.

" It will be okay. " His hand hovers over her back like it's debating if it should offer comfort or not. Instead the decision is made for him as Tilly wipes at her eyes and sniffles.

"You don't know that!" There's a long pause and for a second Jesse thinks she's going to start bawling again, but she doesn't. Instead she looks up at him and the intensity in that stare almost has him drawing back. There's something in it. Love? Impossible. People don't love him, they tolerate him. Or rather he pays them to tolerate him. Tilly blinks once, then twice and yes, he sees it now. It's a mixture of love and adoration. Something almost foreign to him. "What if something happens?" Her tiny lip quivers. "Who will I have then?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuck. His mind draws a blank. There's no way for him to completely assure something won't happen. Granted people don't usually die from plastic surgeon, though he guesses it's possible. ' IT WON'T. I WILL STILL BE HERE. ' The phone's electronic voice drones out into the air. That's not what he wants to say. Jesse wants to say this huge fucking essay of why she doesn't need to worry but sometimes the simplest answers are the best.

"Promise?"

' YES. '

--------------

Blinding light sears his brown eye as it flutters open. Are lights always this bright? He doesn't think so. If they are then he's definitely paying someone to dim all the ones in his house. Because Jesus fuck that's a horrible thing to wake up to. Jesse blinks a few times then lets out a sigh. He can't feel his face (which, God willing, with strong as fuck drugs he won't have to until it heals).

It's only after he's been awake for an hour or two that he turns to the door at his right and sees Spann standing there, Tilly's small wide eyed form in front of her. He offers a shakey wave as a greeting. Tilly looks up at Spann, who nods and urges her in then steps back out to answer a call. Jesse thinks she looks even more comical like this. She's acting like he's a porcelain doll that could break at the lightest touch.

Tilly rests her tiny arms on his bedside. "Do you feel better?" Jesse gives her a so-so response with his hand. She takes this as privilege to climb her way up into the bed beside him, her tiny form looking even smaller near him. "Well," her forehead wrinkles, "you don't look different."

Now he is laughing. His shoulders shaking as an indicator. She looks at him before deciding to curl up next to him, her tiny head on his shoulder. "I still love you anyway. Even if you look like a mummy."

Jesse signs. " I love you too, squirt. "

[luescris]

I posted 218 times in 2021

113 posts created (52%)

105 posts reblogged (48%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.9 posts.

I added 640 tags in 2021

#my stuff - 97 posts

#luescris - 95 posts

#nahmahstuff - 93 posts

#random - 87 posts

#ninjago - 66 posts

#lego ninjago - 64 posts

#disney - 46 posts

#lego - 38 posts

#my artwork - 27 posts

#my art - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#power m👏👏👏😌👏👏ove!!!!! freakibg 👏👏power move👏👏😌😌 go o f f king yaass!!!!!!👏👏👏👏👏

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Im posting this absolutely everywhere and no one can stop me.

147 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 21:49:34 GMT

#4

HERE'S THE FINAL PRODUCT OF THE WIP I POSTED A WHILE AGO *DANCES*

Legit I am so very proud of this hdhhhhhh The shading and background is messy yeah but at least I actually put one there this time HDGHSSH

I did a l ot of experimenting on this freaking thing, and I'm justmmmmmmmm

188 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 00:12:15 GMT

#3

Hello tmnt fandom (Specifically Rise/LFLS fandom aaa) it has been a while have this comic I did based on @eternalglitch 's fanfic Like Father Like Son y'all should go read it it be good It is currently the only TMNT content I am consuming until the Rise movie atm, which apparently is coming soon aaa

Edit: mmmmm PLEASE click for better quality Tumblr screwed it up again-

209 notes • Posted 2021-04-14 21:30:50 GMT

#2

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :D I did this for a Ninjago Valentine zine (I can't really link it or anything like that cuz I'm on mobile and idk how aaaa ;^;) and I may have went a bit overboard with the blur but I still like how it came out! ^3^

300 notes • Posted 2021-02-14 18:24:55 GMT

#1

Hrjshdg colored this last night credit goes to @drawbauchery aaaaa there is more to color yes-

Died laughing going through their stuff y'all should check them out jfdhg,,

310 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 01:30:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[howaboutleeches]

one needy request: following captain!MC and captain!julian’s encounter in the tavern, they party on either on Mc’s or Julian’s ship and spend the night teasing, building ENORMOUS sexual tension like eye contact, mc noticing details about him dhxhshsv but also getting to know one another and their crew... all perhaps leading to a smut or any sort of tension relief satisfaction? up to you, tho im sure whatever you choose to do t’ll be eyecandy 🌸👀

"Are you a good man, Captain?" Julian x Reader (pt.2)

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, sexual tension

Part 1

Word Count: 3,839

On the last chapter....

"Captain! We won!" Jackie bursted into the room and Julian turned his head while I ducked to the side to look at her "Ooooh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were, well, yeah. I'm, uh, going down and, well, see ya!"

We kept looking at the door until the sound of her footsteps were nothing but a simple memory. We stared at each other again and starting laughing, still holding onto one another.

"Now that was a mood breaker" I pressed my forehead against his chest and he sighed.

"Well, I'm sure we'll be able to continue our fun another time"

My eyes went wide and I smiled at him "We are having a party tonight at my ship, you and your crew should come!" I realized I sounded to excited and fake coughed "I mean, only if you want to"

He laughed lightly and kissed my cheek "It'll be my pleasure, darling"

I let go of his clothes and walked past him, going out of the room, but stopping before he vanished from my sight "Maybe you can show me how bad you are"

I ran down the corridor, rushing down the stairs, excited and giggling like a teenager. I couldn't wait to tell Jackie all the juicy details.

Now....

"Ah, I just can't believe I ruined that! Captain, you were finally gonna get some!" Jackie said loudly enough to turn some heads in our direction.

"Keep it down, I don't want everyone to know about my personal life" I led her by the arm to the street, going outside of the crowded bar.

"So, do you have anything in mind? I mean, he looks like a piece of work. The type that likes to keep things interesting"

She wasn't wrong. By the little time I spent with him I noticed that he was the type that liked to be surprised. Dull wasn't his thing. I wanted to make a good impression on him, not gonna lie. But I still didn't want to seem desperate.

"Not really. I don't want to overdo it, but I definitely want to show my interest. What do you suggest?" I trudge Jackie with my life, and she always had success on her love affairs, so why not ask her?

"You know what? Go to the ship, take a nice bath, dress nicely and spray some perfume. I'll take care of the rest" Her mischievous grin made a chill run down my spine.

"Can't you at least tell me what you're thinking?"

"Sorry Cap, no can do. Now go and get sexy" She started pushing me to walk faster and I did, a little grumpy for not knowing what her plan was about.

After a few minutes walking on the dark and calm streets, I saw my ship. The beautiful Enchantress, lit by the moonlight. It was a "family inheritance", since all my ancestors before me were pirates as well. My parents retired, saying that piracy life wasn't for them anymore, and gave me the ship. Even though I was quite young at the time, I still managed to select a very good crew, sail and manage it with grace.

The ship itself had been strictly taken care of. I have visited many ships during my years as a captain. Invitations to raids, parties or just drunken talks were quite usual for me. And that gave me the chance to take a look at other captains ships, making me feel proud of my own. There was usually blood, oil or even piss on the deck, making it unbearable to stay on the deck for more than fifteen minutes.

My beautiful Enchantress, on the other hand, was vigorously scrubbed almost every day and, to my surprise, the crew actually enjoyed doing the cleaning. Some of them had some experience with ships and claimed that they always wanted to keep the place organized, but their former captains required other types of services from them, leaving no time for cleaning. It was a relief for them to be able to work in a nice smelling place.

As I entender the ship, the soft smell of the ocean entered my nose and I could help but feel I little bit more relaxed. I strutted towards my cabin, the captain's cabin, and started taking some of my ornaments off. Hat, bandana, necklace and rings were all off and laying on the bed next to my recently removed sword. I noticed a stain on my shirt and leaned down to smell it, instantly regretting it. Booze and probably piss. It probably got there when I was crawling behind the counter.

And then it hit me. Shit! Captain Devorak probably smelled that on me. And now he must be thinking that I'm a drunk that pees on myself. I ruined everything. Damn it. Changing clothes was the best option that crossed my mind and I decided to oblige to it. Taking off my pants and dirty shirt, and throwing them on the dirty clothes bucket, I opened my wardrobe to find...almost nothing. Literally, almost nothing. The piece of clothing was almost nothing. On one of our scavenging hunts to Danog, Jackie stole this, well, night lady worker's dress and told I would look marvelous on me. Of course, marvelous wasn't the word that she used.

And now that was the only piece of clean clothing left on my wardrobe. I couldn't wear something dirty, especially after the booze and piss incident. That would have to do for the night. I gave light pats on the dress in case there was any dust on it and started to put it on. At first it was a little uncomfortable, since the outfit had many holes on it and I didn't exactly knew how to put it on. After five agonizing minutes, the dress was on and I looked at myself on the mirror, not recognizing the person staring back.

The dress wasn't short, but it had an opening in it that went from my feet to the middle of my thigh. Its fabric was very light and soft, making the dress dance with the slightest presence of wind. On the chest part, it was indeed very exposing. It showed off almost all my chest, and if I bent down, that's exactly what would happen. It had no sleeves, except for a very thin strap holding the whole dress on my body. It was definitely not my style, but it had to do for tonight.

As I kept preparing myself, I could hear people getting on the ship and going lower deck, towards the little saloon that we had. I couldn't help but to hear Jackie and the Captain speaking to each other, quite loudly actually. They seemed very excited. I love Jackie with all my heart, but sometimes she just can't hold her tongue. Once, she sold off all our plan to the Royal Navy and it ended up bloddy. Of course, is not the same situation, but still, I should get there fast.

I put on my classy shoes and exited the cabin, rushing downstairs. As I went down the stairs I slowed down in order to analyze the room. The music was loud, the room was filled with laughter and bottles were being lifted everywhere. I gently strolled down the stairs and heads slowly turned to watch me. There was a lot of whispering and a few shy whistles were heard here and there. I couldn't help but feel embareased and I quickly tried to find a distraction. I ran my eyes along the room and grabbed a rum bottle lifting it up while flashing a smile.

"TO PIRACY!" Excited screams and clincking bottles where heard from everywhere. Soon, other things were heard. "To money, to power, to women, to a good fuck" and so the saloon was filled with laughter and music again. I could help but to notice a tall man, speaking loudly at one ot the tables as a small crowd gather around to hear what he had to say.

"...and so he stared at me in the eye and said "I bet you could do that blindfolded" and so I did" A few gasps were heard as Julian finished his story and leaned back on his chair.

"Did you really walked on a lake of piranhas blindfolded?"

"And with your hands tied?"

"Sure did" He grabbed a cup and started chugging on it.

"Now that's impressive" He chocked on his drink as my voice reached his ears. He immediately put his drink down and sat up straight.

"Captain (Y/L/N)! How delightful to see you! Oh my, you are absolutely stunning tonight. Looking like a real mermaid" He tripped on his own words as he tried to talk to me. Maybe it was the drinks, or maybe something else.

"So, tell us more about your many dangerous adventures" I sat down opposite to him, slightly bending over the table and watching his gaze fall down to my cleavage "I like a little danger" I grinned.

"How funny, I, um, I can't think of any more stories right now. How odd" He cleared his throat "Well,well, I'm gonna get some fresh air, if you don't mind" And then he left, hands shaking and ears turning red.

"You know he's into you, right?" An old lady said to me, probably part of his crew.

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't seen him behave like that in a long time. And we've been on the same boat since he wore diapers"

"Since he- what?"

"Doesn't matter. Go after him, kid" She gave me a daring smile and patted my shoulder.

"How impolite, I haven't even asked your name" I extended my hand to greet her.

"Mazelinka. And I know exactly who you are. Now go, you're wasting time" She shooed me away from the table and I left the lower deck going outside and feeling a soft and salty breeze on my face.

I felt the bottom of the dress swerling around and it tickled my legs a little. I liked that feeling. I couldn't help but to do a little twirl. It was definitely a change for me to wear something like this and I was a nice change of scenario.

"I think I changed my mind. You look more like a fairy than a mermaid. And yet, your beauty exceeds all others"

Julian was leaned against the mast and only turned his head to look at me. His coat was off and his hat was far back on his head, exposing his whole face and the front part of his hair. He wore tight black pants with a white loose shirt tucked in it. What a sight.

"I can say the same for you, Devorak. You look absolutely stunning under the moonlight" I lifted my eyebrow at the sight of his red cheeks by using his own compliment against him.

For a moment, the only things that could be heard were the sound of the waves hitting the boat, my shoes hitting the wooden floor and our clothes dancing in the wind. I positioned myself in front of him and stared at his face. He tried his best avert his gaze from my face, but I grabbed his chin and made him stare at me.

"You're making me confused, you know. You flirt, you get me all worked up and then you just shy away. What do you want from me, Captain?" I stared deep into his eyes.

He started to mumble nonsense and I couldn't help but to chuckle. He was so shy and yet so bold. I remembered Mazelinka's words and did something on impulse. I moved my hand from his chin to the back of his neck and pulled his head towards me.

He was definently taken by surprised, since he didn't move for a few seconds. But eventually his bold side took over and he grabbed me by the waist, pressing your bodies together. I could feel the temperature rising and the kiss was getting more and more intense. His hands dared to explore more of my body and eventually ended up on my ass. I let out a little gasp that made him chuckle. He forced my body to the side, exchanging positions and pressing me against the mast.

"You have no idea how much I wanted this" He muttered as he slowly kissed your neck.

"I can make things even better" I pushed him, making Julian tumble backwards. My intention was for him to think he would fall but at the last second feel the starboard hit his back. But instead, his feet got tangled in some rope and his body changed the course towards an small opening on the boat. He was actually going to fall.

I rushed to him, the dress making things more complicated, and held a rope attached to the ship with a hand and his waist with the other. He looked absolutely terrified but after realizing he wasn't actually going to fall, he stared laughing and so did I. What really wasn't expected was a loud caw behind me. A crow's caw. I got startled and lost my balance, making me let go of the rope and making both of us fall in the direction of the sea.

It was a matter of instants before we could feel the cold water surrounding us. The dress made it harder to emerge, but I managed anyway. When I got my head out of the water, Julian was already there, almost out of breath, laughing.

"Wait, you're not...angry?" He looked at me, still laughing.

"Are you serious? Why would I be mad? I'm having a nice time with a beautiful girl and now things just got more interesting."

I started to laugh with him and swam closer to his body, embracing and kissing him again. Since we were out of breath, the kiss didn't last very long before we were almost passing out for lack of oxygen.

"We should swim back. We might catch a cold" He agreed with my statement and we both raced back to the docks, shivering, and then entering the ship again.

We were greeted by Jackie who had a very mischievous grin on her face and her hands laying on her hips.

"Having a good time, Captain?" She failed to hold back a giggle.

"Absolutely" As I passed through her I managed to whisper "Make sure we are not disturbed, please...until morning"

"Aye aye, Captain" And with that she left.

I guided him to the cabin and after getting in, I discreetly locked the door. Even though I had warned Jackie, that was always someone who had a complaint or some gossip and decided to tell me on first hand. Better safe than sorry.

"Soooo...what do we do now?" He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, staring at me like a wet dog.

"Well, I had some ideas in mind" I waltzed around the room, putting out the fire on most of the candles, leaving the room very poorly lit "First, we should undress"

I turned around and, even if the room was almost as dark as the night, I could sse that Julian was blushing. I laughed and grabbed a bucket from the floor, extending it to him.

"Our clothes are wet. Unless you wanna catch a cold, you should undress. Then I'll give you a blanket and maybe we can chat. How does that sound?"

"Marvelous" He grabbed the bucket and turned around. I grabbed another bucket myself and turned around as well.

As the clothes left my body I felt a cold breeze rushing through it and a chill ran down my spine. A soft moan left my mouth and I heard a grunt behind me. A tall mirror was close to me, in an angle that allowed me to see the naked body close to me. He had his clothes off, except for his trousers and his hand was laying on top of a bulge on it, gently stroking.

I couldn't help but bite my lip. It was wrong to watch him, but he looked so helpless and fragile. So needy. He let go of his erection and threw his head back, slightly turning it to the side. It was a matter of seconds before our eyes met in the mirror. I smirked at him and he did the same, with red painted on his cheeks.

I turned around and so did he. Our naked bodies, only covered by our undergarments facing each other, and for a moment, neither of us knew what to do. I stretched my arm and my hand cupped his cheek. His head leaned agaisnt my hand, like a puppy seeking for comfort. I ran my hands through his hand and gave it a small tug.

His lips parted in pleasure and I knew exactly what he liked. I pulled his head so that we could be on the same level and kissed him hard. Soon, his not-so-shy hands started to rub circles on my waist, gently pressing our bodies against one another's.

"Come. Lay with me" He just nodded eagerly and let me guide him to the massive bed covered in red silk sheet underneath the thick fur of the blankets.

I pushed him into bed and appreciated the sight. I've lost count of how many times he had blushed, but he still managed to keep the cherry color on his cheeks. His skin was pale and his chest was covered in hair. He was biting his lips so hard that I though they would start bleeding soon. I knew exactly what he wanted and deserved. And I was going to give it to him.

I left him waiting on the bed a little while longer and walked graciously to the nightstand. Opening the drawer, some items could be found inside. Rope, a piece of red cloth and an expensive massage oil I had acquired during one of my trips. Just what I needed.

"Now this is what you're going to do for me. You're gonna sit on the bed, rest your hands on the headboard, spread your legs, and be a very good boy"

He followed every one of the commands quickly, and soon, his wrists and ankles were tied to bed, his mouth had a made up gag and I was sitting on his lap, naked.

I reached for the oil and slowly opened the bottle, dripping its content on my hands. I placed the bottle on top of the nightstand and rubbed my oily hands over my body. I started at my chest, rubbing circles on my breast while staring intensely into the captain's eyes. They were begging me to touch him. But not yet.

I ran my hands lower and spreaded the oil on my things, each one on the sided of his body. Every now and then I brushed my fingers lightly against his sides just to tease him a little bit. Seeing him squirm under my touch was very pleasant, I had to admit that.

After the front part of my body was shining with oil, I decided to take some pity on the pirate and lossened up the cloth wrapped around his mouth, making it possible for him to talk properly.

His mouth was wet and red, a little swollen, probably from biting on his lip. Which was exactly what he did again, running his eyes over my body, also licking his lips on the process.

"Please let me touch you. I'm begging, please" He lunged forward, being restrained by the ropes, only inches away from my face. He had a desperate expression on his face.

"Not now, bunny. But you will have your time soon. Right now" I slided my hands down his chest "I wanna have some fun with you"

I leaned down and trapped his bottom lip between my teeth, pulling back a little, forcing him to come along. I placed my hand on his neck, and the other one gripped his underwear, pulling it down skillfully. He hissed as a cold breeze hit his region, making it stiffen and rise a little.

I used the little portion of oil left on my hand to rub him down, earning back a chocked moan from his throat. I stroked his shaft up and down in a painfully slow motion, making him buck his hips in response. I chuckled a little and my mouth traveled to his neck, giving it soft nibbles and slight butterfly kissed. I trailed my tongue along his chin, and a little bit lower, trying to find a soft spot.

When he groaned I knew I had found it. I bit him right on the spot and he moaned pornographycaly. His wrists kept trying to break free, which made me realize just how desperate he actually was. He just had to take it just a little while longer.

I braced myself on his shoulders and stared deeply into his eyes as I pushed him into me. We never broke eye contact, even as we started moaning, our mouths hanging open and I staterd to bounce on top of him. The only option he had to relief a little of his heat was to buckle his hips as hard as he could, slamming himself into me. I had to hold both my hands on his shoulders to keep myself from falling of his lap.

The pleasure was way to intense, and I just couldn't take his pleading eyes anymore. I leaned back to untie his ankles and he thrusted his hips firmly up, making me almost loose balance and scream of pleasure at the same time. After his legs were free, I started working on his wrists, which was hard given he hadn't stopped his work down there.

Not even after two seconds after he was free, he embraced my back lunging forward and sitting with his knees pressed against the bed, holding me close to him, like our bodies were one. He still thrusted into me, our means mixing together and we stared at each other's eyes. He kissed me deeply and laid me softly on the the bed. Finishing himself inside of me. I finished soon after and he detached himself from me and pulled me to his chest, caressing my back and planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You're beautiful. And I mean it. You're special. I want to be with you" I looked up at him, a soft and genuine smile forming on my lips.

"I want that too"

///

Six months later, your belly was starting to get heavier. You felt a soft pain in your stomach and let go of the ship's wheel, but a pair of firm hands came from behind you and used one hand to hold it and the other one laid on top of your baby belly.

"I told you many times already," He kissed my cheek "go back to bed. You need rest"

"Rest my ass. I'm still capable of running this ship. I'm no less of a captain just because I'm pregnant"

"I know it, darling, but the ships now has two captains for a reason. When one isn't available or not feeling well, the other one takes over"

I sighed. There was mo point on arguing with him.

"I know, bunny, I know. I'll go, okay?" I kissed his hand and strutted to the deck, encountering Mazelinka on the way.

"How's that baby mama going, huh?" She gave you that smile you loved.

"Actually, better than I expected. Some occasional pains, but it's part of the process, I see it now"

"Very well, that's good. Julian told me to keep an eye on you. Now off to bed" She pointed to the captain's cabin.

I groaned to her in a pleading way but she kept her posture. I walked grumpily and she followed right behind. I pulled the sheets and laid down, eventually trying to pull the sheets, but I couldn't reach it because of the belly. Mazelinka grabbed the sheets and covered me, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"You're a strong woman. You'll be a strong mother too"

And with that, I fell asleep, content.

Author's note: I loved doing that one, and I loved to see that at least one person liked it and asked for more. Thank you for your support 💞

[giratinalove3]

Different Mom prompts for Siegbert

Nobody asked of this from me but I’m going to do it anyways because Siegbert is undeniably one of my favorite characters in Fates and probably Fire Emblem. And I’m going to do one for Shiro next. ———————————————————— •Peri: He got ot her amazing cooking skills and a bit of her temper. And is a lot more bloodthirsty when it comes to fighting. Though he destests needless death, he’s not okay with innocent lives being taken for unjust reasons. He’s most likely to throw objects at people when he’s mad. Is probably one of the most hardest cryers, like Peri, out of the Siegberts. Outsiders can’t hurt him when they say something, unless they are about his mother; he will eviscerate them. ——————————————————— •Selena: He’s slightly more petty and sarcastic. One time he was feeling particularly petty he named one of his swords Xanfried to get back at his father for nameing him after his sword (though he soon learned that’s wasn’t the reason for the origin of his name. He still kept the name Xanfried for his sword though). He’s insecure about how his red hair looks on him. Is slightly a compulsive shopper. Which annoys his father to no end that both his wife and son love to go shopping. ———————————————————— •Effie: He’s undeniably one of the strongest versions of Siegbert. He likes to push himself to the limit. He is the most self-conscious about his body than other versions of himself since he works out so much; To bad puberty is weird stage of life that messes up your body. Can definitely out bench Xander, which makes Xander both proud and scared of his own son. He stress workouts and probably loves food(minus Azura Version) the most. Can likely crush a skull with ease with just his elbow. ———————————————————— •Corrin: He has more of lighter outlook on life(though the Xander part of his puts a damper on that). Is disappointed in himself that he can’t trasform like his brother or mother. When he does transform for the first time he will most likely scream then find it to be fun in a dragons body and runs for a little while before he collapses due to exhaustion. Is crazy protective over his brother. Sometimes when angry he snarls showing his teeth unconsciously letting his dragon claw grow. Is the most pacifistic out of the Siegberts. He trust people more often which gets him hurt a lot(both mentally and physically). Acts like a total cat when he’s happy; Purring, rubbing his head on you, sometimes you can even hear a little tiny baby mew. ———————————————————— •Nyx: Has very low immunity to magic which makes his constantly sick (explains his bad stats). He wants to wield Siegfried so, so badly but easily starts to get sick when constantly being near the divine weapon; He works hard to overcome this. He does know that his parents don’t want him to wield Siegfried for this very reason; he acts like it doesn’t bother him but it really does. Has the lowest self-esteem out of all of them. He has shown great magical prowess towards the dark arts. ———————————————————— •Beruka: He’s the most paranoid. He is also the least expressive. He has thought of every possible attempt on his life and has a very dark outlet of the world around him, for his mother drilling into him that since he’s the crown prince he’s a high target and once he becomes king he will have to constantly look behind his shoulder. Keep friends close and enemies closer after all. (Sorry there isn’t a lot, I don’t really ship Beruka and Xander together). ———————————————————— •Azura: Has the best singing voice out of all the Siegberts,though he’s to shy too demonstrate it. Like his mom, has to be bribed into coming to social event. He doesn’t want to take the throne but since Shigure has shown clear signs that he CLEARLY doesn’t want to be king leaves only him to become the king. He hates everything having to do with social events. Is a total wall flower that has extreme social anxiety that will be that one introvert at the party that stays near to food and drinks. ———————————————————— •Felica: Is the most clumsy- DEAR GOD HE DID IT AGAIN!😱 DON’T WORRY OTHER MOTHER or sister HAS COME TO SAVE YOU! He doesn’t have a good grasp on his height; Constantly hits his head on the door frames, walks into low hanging lights, trips on his own legs or trips someone with his legs, accidentally runs into door frames or walls, etc. Tries to keep his powers in check, seriously the boy’s hands are always freezing (LIKE ME BECAUSE IM A WALKING CORPOSE IN THE REAL WORLD) a room always has to be pre-heated before he enters because it gets cold real quick. Forrest makes everyone wear sweaters when entering into his cousin’s room. He gets hot extremely quickly. Doesn’t have a good grasp at how cold he can get let alone feel the cold weather natural or magic related. The only good that has come to the poor boy is that he has a very high pain tolerance. ———————————————————— •Charolette:He has the biggest lying and manipulative streak out of all the other versions. Fits in best with court. He also has his own version of Charrolette’s creepy smile, his is less harsh but it can still freak people out. Cares most about his looks, always keeping up with the lastest trend. Is the least trusting of people and doesn’t like opening to those that will abuse that power against him and shows his true colors sparingly. Like Effie!Siegbert, can out bench Xander, but not as much as Effie!Siegbert. ———————————————————— •Mozu: This Siegbert has his own garden and enjoys the slower pace of life. He serves foreign dignitaries some salad from his garden. Sometimes slips into Hoshidan when he’s either excited or lying. He has freckles on his face and his ma loves to call them angels kisses. He can out bench Xander but he can’t out becnh Mozu. He has a Saint Bernard and a lot of little annoying birds that come stop by Krakenburg from time to time. Hates those who talks bad or does bad things to the lower class. ———————————————————— •Hinoka: He trains the most out of all the Sieggy’s. Is probably the harshest in himself when it comes to training. Has to physically be stopped to end training. Has the shortest temper out of the Siegs. Doesn’t as along as well with his Hoshidan cousins as Sakura!Siegbert. Butts heads with Shiro a lot. Stubborn as hell. Headstrong. Has a bit to much pride to be healthy, though he isn’t cocky. (Also don’t really ship Hinoka and Xander together) ———————————————————— •Sakura: Got her stutter. Extremely shy. Can’t be bribed as easily into coming to social events. Extreme social anxiety. Gets along best with Shigure. Tried to play to koto but was bad at it and hasn’t tried to play an instrument since. ———————————————————— •Oboro: He’s always updated with the latest fashion in both Hoshido and Nohr. Knows how to sew. Takes pride in both his cultures. Has a different version of Oboro’s demon face, only shows it to people he truly despises (haters of Nohr or Hoshido will see his wrath, people who talk bad about the lower class, those who abuse their power, etc) ———————————————————— The one thing all these boys have in common is that they are total mama’s boys and would do anything for their mothers.I got really lazy on the last few.

[virtuissimo]

pardon me for using my blog for its intended purpose, but I’ve gota talk about my life insecurities and the pathetic reality of my ongoing existence

if ur prone to thinking badly of ppl for having social difficulties maybe dont read lol

if uv talked to me more than a few times then u kno already tbh i sound like a broken record but I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS im so fucking mad about it, why is this so hard for me???

people say that you have to go to clubs,  but honestly thats realy not enough advice for me because Findng People is not the issue, in fact i have been in several places where by all means i shuold have found someone to be friends with, but even if i do force myself to talk to people and be sociable and say uuh things and even if i do succeed in being funny and likeable (which is far from the norm and my self esteem takes a huge hit every time i exit a social situation having flopped & yes i am overly judgmental of myself but the fact that i dont got friends is proof that maybe there is some truth to it) , nothing ever comes of it!

and like i know this is a pattern with me, where ill try to do something consistently for a semester and then when i see no evidence of progress i give up. same thing happened when i decided to stick to a consistent exercise routine. i didnt feel any better, i didnt look any different, my health didnt improve, my body didnt even get any stronger my bodys limit on weight and time remained the same from beginning to end, all i felt was tired, sore, and depressed. i felt a little proud of myself for having stuck to it for that long (4-5 months? honetsly an accomplishment for me) but at the first excuse i could find i broke routine and was never able to get back on.

and honestly. same thing happened with that club. i went to almost every QTPOCA community meeting for one semester, but i just! couldnt! make!! friends!! a few people talked to me i think?? one girl named Cassie who i saw once and never again..augustine talked to me and i was really happy about that...they were very friendly and i like talking to them but i dont think our personalities mesh very well for us to be close, we also dont have any real shared interests and i dont think they particularly have fun in my company.

but other than those two people, thats it.... the meetings themselves are very different from what i expected, its absolutely not an environment conducive to my very uuh specific needs.

How did  i make friends before?? i had friends in high school. or at least i thought i did. i guess thats why im not still friends with most of them. i never really went out to movies or to their houses or to get lunch or even had most of their phone numbers, & even those whose # i do have i never really USED them. maybe its cuz i didnt get a phone until high school. maybe its cuz my parents are workaholics AND overprotective and made it too much of a hassle to ask permission to go everwhere. maybe people only rly liked me for school work purposes. maybe im just too obedient and never snuck out. maybe im just too close to my sister and never felt the need for social interaction outside of school because i had her. maybe im just making a whole lot of excuses for what ultimately is an inability to interact with other people. 

& its not like im not good at talking. im pretty quick and uuh quippy ig like i can say some off the wall shit, that just all goes out the window when im talking to strangers. idk. i can make phonecalls now, but only if i script out what im going to say in writing bcause even if i mentally script, by the time the other person picks up the phone my mind just goes blank.

i think its a part of my horrible personality maybe. like maybe i can only be in my element when i feel like i have power. my small high school & my ugly superiority complex made it easier for me to think of myself as better than p much all my peers maybe? but maybe its not that easy to do that in college since EVERYONE here got to college somehow (despite some of them actualy being dumb as fuck)? maybe?? idk if thats the case i gota change that personality quick cuz thats no way to live life. just the way im talking about it now makes it seem like maybe its not that but idk i think in actuality im a lot more egotistical than i come across as. which may or may not be saying something idk self awareness is hard.

probably also got something to do with the fact that i moved to texas away from the rest of my family & my parents work too much to make rfriends ot their own (and neither of my parents are very social people to begin with) so i never had adult social interactions modeled for me in a way that integrates friendships into ones life. thats probably just an excuse tho.

anyways. im really sick of not fitting in anywhere. im sick of not knowing anyone. im sick of being lonely all the time and feeling unlovable . and iv got like 2 friends on the internet that i rly talk to but we all know it aint the same & the MOMENT theyve busy i feel soooo fuckin lonelyyyyy

also FUCK another thing is that i am no ones priority, that shit SUCKS idk if im emotionally built for casual friendships cuz i care about all my friends so fucking much...i dont even gota be a best friend i just gota be ...important to someone lmfao maybe thast too much to ask fori know im just 21 but it rly feels like everyone already has their friends and thats that, and the worst part is that i could have made friends but i wasted all of college uuuh idk doing school or whatever LMFAO ok but other ppl can figure out how to have an active social life while doing decent in school why couldnt i do that...

whatever. if i die alone i die alone , nothin to be done about that. just gota put my best foot forward i guess. maybe learn to settle a little more. put more effort into things that arent worth it because id rather have something rancid than nothing at all.

[daffodil-69]

You know what? You can leak. Make your di a bit more wet. But don’t you dare let go just yet. Think how proud we’ll all be and how proud you’ll be when you get to 10! We will finally know that you’re not JUST a stupid pissy boy, but you’re also capable of something at least.

no no no please it's so hard to stop it, i let out a little bit of wee wee and now it all wants to come out!! please let me pee im so close to a 10 ot hurts so bad

[tumblunni]

Hi am sleeby

Aaaa yo hi hello for some reason my followuo medicine dor the tooth surgery makes me more drowsy than the actual anesthetic did? Its weird its supposed to be pain meds but the sleepiness is SO OVERPOWERING and kicks in SO FAST that i keep falling asleep before i can even tell if it actually reduces pain or not, lol. Good for good sleeps! Ive never had such speedy results from a sleep medicine ever before, like wow it usually takes me 1 or 2 hours every night to get to sleep and this is like ten minutes like wow i can actually just close my eyes and go to dreamland just by deciding hey It Is Time. Is this what its like for normal people witjout insomnias???

BUUUUUT the disadvantage is that well i have to keep taking this for paon management and i cant just sleep constantly yknow. So im here forcing myself to power thru the SUPER STRONG SLEEPY JUICE and try and be awake long enough to at least eat one food a day and walk arpund my house a little to stretch my legs. But im just so happy dozey sleeples tired and it feels like my sense of time is dilating or something. I cant focus as well on stuff and its like i look over to the clock and wow where did three hours go? Like i managed to stay awake but i was running on such low brain battery that i basically did nothing BUT stay awake, lol! But i know i cant sleep for like 60 hours straight geez, i need to get some awakes sometimes!!

And aaaa im just even more easily happied by cute things and even more emotional about MY AMAZING FRIENDS like holy shit fuck im already such a Cliche Softboi and i already get all emotional and send I LOVE U MAN messages tp my fremds when im tired but now im just stuck in that mode 24/7 dear god guys i love you guys

I just went off in a weird ramble in a friend's inbox cos they vaguely mentioned body positivity and i was llike OH GOD I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT BODY POSITIVITY like yo please everyobr out there who is plus size please know that every time you love yourself you are making bunni so proud!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO AWAKEN TO THE TRUTH THAT MAINSTREAM "SEXY" STANDARDS ARE SEXIST RACIST TRANSPHOBIC HOMOPHOBIC FATPHOBIC EVERYPHOBIC BULLSHIIIIOOOT also why do fuckin anime waifu ot superhero spandex groin creepy fanservice things always look SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE like yo if the poor girl looks like she doesnt want to be there or shes breaking her damn spine in half then HOW IS THAT MEANT TO BE SEXY seriously body positive stuff is so great just to see someone doing a fashion shoot pinup thing who looks HAPPY AND CONFIDENY AND RADIANT WITH LIGHT god dammit please love your selfs i love you my frieeeeends

Also ursula wtf i never knew ursula was supposed to be "funny" until i grew up, kid me was just happy to see a chubby lady who was beautiful and confident that shes beautiful and then WHOOPS OH NO the joke was meant to be a fat woman being "deluded" that she wa sbeautiful or something?? And also she was intended as a cariaccature of drag queens? No fuk all that she IS beautiful and she is 100% right and also she is now everyone's supportive trans auntie and i love her. Like seriously man all her actual actions in the movie are so evil but shes just so cool and cute and stylish and pretty and loveable and has all the best lines and great animation and wonderful singing voice I CANT NOT ROOT FOR HER EVERY TIME!! Her and hades totally have the same feel for me. Best part of the movie, really wanna hug them!! I wanna be best friends!! If ursula did a body positive campaign i thibk itd sell a million fashions SERIOUSLY THAT FANCY BLACK DRESS/OCTO TENTACLES THING AND HER AWESOME SWOOSH HAIR AND THE GREAT COLOURSCHEMES OF LL THE FASHION PURBLES I JUST LOVE HERRRR

Im so sleepy u guys

Hug urself for me cos im so sad i cant do it

Where are my infinate reaching ocean crossing arms

[caepaecaesurae]

> The night Sugary was attacked and Mickey/Sun went missing...

> Caesurae : Inquire gently on tumblr if Sugary is alright.

sugary-empress Don't worry aboat it, just being dramatic, can't talk now but it's all cool~ caepaecaesurae Glad to hear.  Good luck. sugary-empress You're t)(e one w)(o occasionally notices if my nonstandard affect is nonstandarder t)(an usual, so just in case you did t)(is time, I actually didn't die~ Yaaay~ caepaecaesurae I'm glad you didn't. Are you alright?  WVhat happened?

sugary-empress I told someone I felt romantically for t)(em but was afraid t)(at t)(eir own (platonic, but positive) feelings for me mig)(t )(ave been influenced by t)(ousands of sweeps under an -Empress, so, naturally, )(e came to my s)(ip unannounced, stopped it from moving in an abrupt fas)(ion, and stormed up to me in my quarters to s)(out at me~ )(a)(a, an angry psion STORM-ED up to me, get it~ sugary-empress Classic, good times~ caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a remarkably similar experience recently, minus the romantic aspect. Good pun.  Apparently they don't like people doubting their capacity to decide things. WVho knewv, right? sugary-empress No fatalities atoll t)(oug)(, w)(ic)( is nice~ caepaecaesurae I'm glad. caepaecaesurae ..Is the psion hostile, or friendly, at this point? Or in some difficult-to-assess frustrated state? sugary-empress )(e is currently crying on me~ Once )(e leaves I'm going to sea )(ow many ways I can block )(im from contacting me, but I'm not going to disturb )(im so soon after all t)(is~ caepaecaesurae Are you alright?  Do you havwe either Ringleader or your Moirail around? caepaecaesurae eesh...  I'm sorry that it's become emotional.  For the record, blocking him might inspire a repeat, depending on his temperament. sugary-empress I'll be okay, and good call, I'll contact someone in, y'know, actually close to~ No offense~ Yea)(, I know, but if I don't block )(im I believe )(e'll sink we're still friends~ caepaecaesurae None taken -- quadrants and clade are magical in times like this, and it's hard to remember that until the habit's built up. sugary-empress Stressed me is fucking dumb, also~ caepaecaesurae Most stressed people are. sugary-empress Truuu~ caepaecaesurae If you're concerned about repeat performances like this, you might consider asking your moirail and any semi-neutral friends of the psion for advwice about gently cutting ties. Also, in retrospect, Ringleader wvill probably be Excessivwely sympathetic due to his owvn history.  That may be wvorth remembering. sugary-empress T)(ere are no semi neutral friends, becod I'm me and ebberyone )(as an opinion on t)(at~ S)(it, anotter good call, tanks, dude~ caepaecaesurae WVell, hence the "semi".  They'll havwe opinions on wvhether you should cut ties or not, but evwen some that are usually hostile may be wvilling to assist if that is the goal. caepaecaesurae The Ringleader thing is the sort of thing I wvould probably miss in your shoes.  It's easier to remember from further awvay. sugary-empress I feel like I'd eventually remember, but I'm afraid I'd go too long sinking I was Correct before I figured it out, and dragging t)(at kinda fin out is a bad plan~ caepaecaesurae Forgetting until one's about halfwvay through the convwersation is a thing I do slightly too often. caepaecaesurae WVhile no expert in his motivwations, I'm going to guess that concern for an empress attacked by a Psiionic wvould predominate ovwer concern for a lowvblood wvith emotional reactions to a highblood. Although both wvould... Exist. sugary-empress Yea)(~ caepaecaesurae WVould you prefer I let you attend to and focus on the situation?  I admit remaining curiosity, but I don't wvant to be nosy. sugary-empress I mean, I'm not gonna sleep for a long time, feel free to satisfy said curiosity~ caepaecaesurae WVhy cut ties, and howv bad is he effected by his past? sugary-empress I'm deeply disturbed by t)(is w)(ole incident, apparently )(e wasn't intending on killing me, but didn't -Especially care t)(at I t)(oug)(t )(e was, and rig)(t after t)(at c)(arming revelation I )(ad to reassure )(im t)(at I knew t)(at )(e definitely sincerely for realsies liked me~ sugary-empress )(oly fucking Dept)(s it's literally like fig)(ting wit)( me, w)(at t)(e fuck~ )(e claims not at all, w)(ereas )(is moirail told me )(e would never be nice to me under any circumstances except a full relapse~ caepaecaesurae ...you knowv... It's perhaps not the best comparison to make, but I remember on Alternia, ovwer the swveeps, I slowvly learned that there wvere indivwiduals that -- wvhile fascinating, beautiful, entirely wvorthy and compatible in nearly evwery sense -- wvere slightly too ... ...prone to complication, shall wve say, to be wvorth the energy they wvould take to be close to. Most often, admittedly, in the context of trolls wvith jealous pre-existing quadrants wvho wvould come to kill me if I tried anything, but. Captors can be lovwely, but this sounds suspiciously like it wvould take a dramatic amount of effort to maintain in any healthy wvay. caepaecaesurae ... It looks like Mickey and Kiilo are running into difficulty. sugary-empress Mm, sure, sure~ Well, w)(en are t)(ey not?~ caepaecaesurae Nevwer, honestly, but this looks more serious than usual. sugary-empress Fingers crossed for t)(em actually dying so t)(e endless stretc)(ing out of t)(e same four dramatic issues doesn't need to continue!!!!!!!!~ T)(at may )(ave been somew)(at unc)(aritable~ caepaecaesurae Aye.  Not inaccurate, but unkind. caepaecaesurae I suspect their livwes wvould be much different if they wvould accept more help and seek less trouble.  But...  #aesthetic ..Possibly not your help, no offense, they havwe reasons to doubt, but help from Someone at least. sugary-empress -Even ~I~ can't take t)(eir refusal of )(elp personally, it's so fucking universal and overblown~ caepaecaesurae I'm not sure wvhy they're this insistant about it. sugary-empress It's pride???~ But being too proud for s)(it like t)(at is dumb as fuuuck~ caepaecaesurae WVhatevwer wvould the gene pool do wvithout genes such as that. sugary-empress Lmaooo~ caepaecaesurae May their suffering be minimized, wvhatevwer form that may take. sugary-empress Yea)(~ caepaecaesurae I wvish you the best of luck untangling your captor issue.  I'm sorry to hear that it wvas not as you'd hoped. sugary-empress It )(appens, nbd~ I )(ope you don't mind me coming to you about stuff, I always feel like you appreciate t)(e )(ot gossip enoug)( t)(at it's a fairly even exc)(ange~ caepaecaesurae Quite apt. No, I enjoy our talks. I hope the feeling is mutual wvhen I do the same for you? sugary-empress I would never mind talking to you, my dear~ caepaecaesurae I'm glad.

[stuntchica]

i just keep getting so angry about hospital so im going to try and write down everything bad i can remember them doing to try and get it all out

when they first came to my house dr d completely waved off what i said abt not remembering childhood & being disturbed by that. he asked me to name a childhood toy & after i could he said ‘see, you can remember’ even though id literally seen that toy that morning & was remembering from,, you know,, my whole life not just my childhood

despite the fact that i was not a danger to myself or anyone else, dr d decided after seeing me for 20 minutes that i had to go into hospital. he said i could either come informally myself or he would have me sectioned

i was not told how long i would be there for. we were told to bring an overnight bag so i expected it to just be overnight. when i got there i was told that i’d be there for at least 2 weeks

when they first gave me the menu to order off i wasnt told that there was a Rule that i had to finish everything so i ordered the thing i thought id like the most even tho i knew there was stuff i wouldnt like with it

when the food arrived (pizza, peas & chips) i ate everything except the cheese on the pizza bc it was cheddar & thats a Bad Food(tm) & i was really proud of myself bc it was more than i’d had in one sitting for weeks. the exact words the nurse with me said were ‘this counts as a failure’

when the snack time came around no one told me the full list of options (weeks later i found out that chocolate was available) so i picked a yogurt. after opening it i realised it had bits in it but i was too scared to ask for a different one bc i didnt like any of the other flavours. i ate as much as i could but i rlly couldnt stand the bits. the nurse with me told me it was another failure but another nurse in the room, thankfully, replaced her & understood what had happened

i dont remember what happened on the rest of the first day bc my abandonment fear kicked in and i got really panicked when my parents had to leave

i dont remember the rest in chronological order, but lets see

the room i was put into had a leaky toilet. it would leak all night long and due to how the bathroom was the leak echoed. it sounded like a waterfall. every time they came to fix it it would break again later that day. my shower was also broken and wouldnt turn on

i had to have a blood test on a friday but they didnt send the bloods off straight away so i had to have another one the next monday. keep in mind that i have an intense fear of needles

dr d compared me going on the internet to drug addicts waiting in line for heroine, even after i explained that it was the only way i had to avoid isolating myself & tried to explain what i actually do there

i couldnt eat a meal and was told ‘if you dont start eating we’ll have to make you’ despite the fact that i was eating when i could & if i couldnt finish a meal i was eating chocolate that was in my room. also despite the fact i was an informal patient so that was literally not possible

dr d spent hours trying to convince & guilt me into agreeing to take medication, despite the fact that was the one thing i’d always said no to (fun fact! i literally cant swallow medication. no one took me seriously when i said that either). eventually tho the psychologist spoke to him abt it & he stopped

the first 2 weeks i was there i saw no therapists. at all. because it was the easter holidays and they were away. there was nothing to do all day except watch tv, colour, & play cards. despite the fact that we were all so bored we were not taken out of the hospital or allowed access to our phones

in fact, for the entire 2 months i was there i was only taken out by staff twice. both those times happened in the same day. and were to the same place. a costa that was in the main hospital. does it even count as going out if youre just taken to a different part of the same building?

i had to stay there for 2 months while actively suicidal patients were allowed to leave before their 2 week assessments were over

even my camhs psychologist admitted that she didnt expect them to keep me for more than 2 weeks

the hospital psychologist admitted that she had no idea why dr d was insisting i stay for so long

i was told i was going to be put on a meal plan. i told them that would make me lose weight bc it would further limit how much i could eat. they didnt listen to me and blamed me when i did, in fact, lose weight

for the first month i was there no one did anything about my weight. i had to keep telling them that was my main problem and i needed help with it. after their ‘help’ hindered more than anything i regretted bringing it up

one night we found a piece of paper saying ‘i have a knife and im going to use it to self harm or kill someone’. when we all got, understandably, scared the nurses patronised us and got annoyed with us

a nurse yelled at my friend for ‘not being polite’

my friend managed to run away from the hospital twice. there were warning signs that the rest of the patients picked up on. she nearly killed herself both times

my friend found a razorblade on a seat. she was so shocked to see it there she said out loud ‘there’s a razorblade’. she said later that she regretted alerting everyone to it bc the nurses obviously took it away. we still dont know how it got there

one girl brought in a pair of scissors. no one had thought to check her bag. luckily she didnt intend to use them for anything other than arts & crafts (& cutting her hair, which is how i found out about the scissors & told her to hand them in. yeah, they didnt even notice she had scissors until i pointed them out)

one girl stole a syringe from the medical room and used it to take the supplement out of her nose tube. they didnt notice for weeks.

one week i gained some of weight. when i was happy dr d said ‘thats not really enough to be happy about’. the next week a lost less weight than i had gained. he spent half an hour telling me about how much of a failure i was

dr d tried very hard to have me diagnosed with atypical anorexia despite me consistently saying ‘i want to gain weight because i know im unhealthily underweight’ and the fact that the reason i was admitted to camhs was bc i went to the doctor for help to gain weight

my parents came to collect me to go out every day at 1:30pm. one day by 3:30pm they still werent there. i was scared something had happened because i had no phone to text them using. eventually i was told that the staff had called them to tell them not to come, and no one had told me. i had a panic attack because theyd gone behind my back and this meant i wouldnt be able to text my fp all day. the next day when i saw dr d he said ‘youre nearly 18 isnt it a bit childish to get upset over not seeing your parents for just one day?’

an ot that i saw said that i ‘put on an american accent and smiled when it was pointed out’. what really happened was she asked if i had an american accent and i smiled out of awkwardness and said ‘i speak to american people so maybe i picked it up??’ bc i didnt want her to feel awkward. if she had asked me i would have told her that i wasnt trying to put on any kind of accent

we were allowed to watch the babadook and mama but the second we suggested a film about psychosis we were told no

me and my friend got yelled at for what was on tv once

they called the police on patients, multiple times, when it was clear that no one would have reacted violently if they’d just done their jobs right

my friend cried because she knew after she left hospital she would have a criminal record. she had punched a nurse by accident while having a panic attack

i was told i could go home & was being discharged. i emptied out my room and spent a great 2 weeks at home. then we were called and i was told i had to go back for a night

dr d always had an idea in his head of what was wrong with me, and if i said anything that went against it he’d tell me that i was either lying or in denial

dr d told me off for not looking at him and said it wasnt polite

dr d told me off for crying

dr d told me off for not feeling safe with my eyes closed

dr d told another patient that she was probably not autistic bc she understood what ‘pull your socks up’ meant

despite me saying that i wanted to be assessed for asd nothing happened. they told me that they would consider me to be ‘informally autistic’ but that meant literally nothing

nurses thought that they could get me to eat by sitting next to me and guilting me

very few nurses noticed that i ate chocolate after meals because i was aware of the fact that i wasnt eating much & i wanted to change that

i had to eat chocolate after meals bc no one listened to me when i explained my food issues and that was the only way to make sure i was eating

there was what was basically a riot. i wasnt there when it happened but its easy to see how people got that upset and angry

the day after the riot everyone was punished, even those of us who hadnt even been at the hospital

my friend was shut in the ‘rumpus room’ (padded room). its illegal to do that

it took a month before someone told me i was allowed to discharge myself

i spent two months in a psychiatric hospital. it was never explained why i was there in a way i could understand. dr d literally said ‘my colleagues ask why you’re still here’ yet he didn’t discharge me. if i hadn’t turned 18 im sure i would still be there. i wasnt diagnosed with anything. it made my mental health worse

this isnt even everything because my memory of then is very patchy

[kqnsc5yt-blog]

Classic car insurance for 1972 camaro?

Classic car insurance for 1972 camaro?

Hi i am currently 22 and have 5 years driving 4 years no claims with no crashes or convictions. I am looking into buying a 1972 camaro Z28 from America and bringing it back to the UK. I want to buy classic insurance but dont have much knowledge about it. i know some people have said you must park it in a garage and limit to around 5k miles a year but apart from that i dont know. what sort of price can i expect for the insurance? what companies are good in the UK and how does age affect it as i may wait till i m 25 and go with mates who also want American cars but have only just got their licenses. cheers

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecheap.us

SOURCES:

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