#and im so happy that people real appreciate his efforts and admire him

[7tsumurai]

He is so loved and I love him too <3

[wh6res]

127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

[twonderland]

☆*:.｡ NRC HAS A MAID CAFE ?!? .｡.:*☆

Note: sooo this is my first writing ! Omg I’m so nervous I have never written for any fandom before but I wish this goes well 🙏🏻😂 anyway, hope y’all like it and if you have any thoughts about it pls comment I would really appreciate it ☺️💖💖

Summary: NRC was organizing a school festival to attract new students and also to let the guys have a day of fun and chill. However the dorm leaders were out of ideas while deciding what activities they were gonna have, until you decided to talk about some options of what your school used to do in this kind of events (before coming to twisted wonderland), most of those activities were really alike to what NRC already had, except one thing ...

- when you mentioned that in your “dimension” there was different options that could be introduced in NRC at the festival he was actually pretty interested. Obviously he would have to make some changes so that “activities” could fit in Heartslabyul rules but, he never thought that he could have the opportunity to see you in such an ... outfit.

- Who does he think he can fool ? He’s a blushing mess and can’t even look at you in the face. How can he ? The moment you got out of your room with that white coping, that really short skirt, and oh god the stockings

- You look so cute and obedient and hfkogkebdiej

- The plan was simple, you were a “maid” and the boys attending the clients at your side were butlers, easy ! Except from the part of talking to you

- He’s angry because he can’t believe that such an outfit has this power over him and he thinks “god Riddle get yourself together and just talk to her about the menu” but somehow you think he’s angry for some strange reason since he tends to get all red face when he is angry (poor bean he’s trying his best to not collapse)

- HE’S A GENTLEMAN ! HE DIDNT HAVE SUCH A HARD UPBRINGING FOR NOTHING !! he goes with a straight face to your direction and then .... “(y/n) ! Have you learn your lines ?! Customers need the best of attention from this establishment !!” (Riddle this is just a classroom turned into a maid cafe, chill)

- “Ah sure Riddle-senpai, just look *you clear your throat* Welcome home master !!”

- Riddle.exe has stopped responding

- what ? A maid cafe ? Isn’t it just like the rest of the maids at his palace in Afterglow Savana ? He’s used to being attended by this kind of servitude at his homeland but he had never seen Classic or French (I leave that to your imagination ☺️) maid style

- He thinks “ohoho this can be quit interesting” and has that smug smirk in his face, OF COURSE he’s gonna take this opportunity to tease you

- However after he sees you in that cute and tempting outfit, for a little moment (just a little moment) he doesn’t want to admit it he goes shy, stops just a moment to admire you from head to toe in your outfit, you go like “what? “ and then he just shrugs it out just in time before you notice “hmph are you some kind of panda ?”

- Seems like he doesn’t care but actually you never get out of his view, he drinks his woman respect juice every morning but not the rest of the students

- If he sees that some idiot gets a little too close to you he may roar from across the cafe and shoot some killing glares to those idiots and problem solved

- Don’t get it wrong, he’s still Leona and may slide the tip of his tail under your skirt a little ... just a little 😏

- He listens to all your descriptions of the activity of the maid cafe, takes notes and adds some good ideas so everything’s on point

- He’s pretty chill the majority of the time while preparing everything, he even helped you to practice your lines so you could attend customers with the best training !

- Until ... he saw you in character. It was kind of a self goal since he told you to not get out of character when you wear your uniform, how fool and unfortunate (lucky) soul he was

- “Ashengrotto- sama ? I had some doubts about the menu ...” “yes ? (Y/...n)”

- his glasses break

- Azul.exe has stopped responding x2

- His mind can’t process all the things that are going on, you , on a cute really really short skirt, calling him “sama” with your innocent voice, and OH LOOK AT THAT

- THIGHTS

- he didn’t know he had a thing for thights until this day

- Tries to solve all your doubts without stuttering but fails miserably

- Thinks really seriously in a way to make you sign a contract where you accept to wear that outfit whenever you visit octavinelle (azul that’s practically impossible but ok try 😂)

- OMG A MAID CAFE ?! It’s foreign and interesting !! This guy is all in after you finish to talk about your idea

- Kalim is also used to being all pampered and having hundreds of people attending him at all times so he’s really curious about what is the difference between what he knows and what you know

- You tell him that is nothing too awesome, but is more to have fun in getting into character of “master and servant” BUT NOTHING IS BORING IF YOU ARE IN IT he tells you that you don’t need to worry and he just wants to participate in the experience

- He doesn’t assist as a butler but like a customer, and the night before the event he can’t sleep from the excitement, “Jamil, how do you think is a maid ?” “Idk Kalim sleep now” “ne~ ne~ Jamil do you think that (y/n) will call me master? tehehe” “OMG KALIM ENOUGH” poor Jamil he also couldn’t get enough sleep that night

- He’s one of the first clients to arrive and oh god ... when he finds you. He doesn’t know what is it with that uniform that it makes you look ADORABLE AND BEYOND also ... kind of .... ?? (Sexy kalim the word you look for is sexy) he just doesn’t know how to react the very first seconds but doesn’t last long until

- “Kalim-sama ! Welcome back, we are so enlightened to see you again”

- What is this ? Why is he feeling funny things in his stomach, every time he’s called like that in his palace it doesn’t happen anything, is something of everyday but now...

- “.... kalim-sama ?” “AH ! Sorry sorry ! Haha I zoned out , say ... could you say that again ? It was so fun !” “Uh.. hu, of course, if that’s my master’s wish !! ☺️” (HAPPY BOY HAPPY BOY HAPPY BOY)

- He probably is inside the maid cafe for very long time just to hear you every time you come around

- “Is everything alright master ? Would you like something else ?” “YES ! One more parfait please !! “ meanwhile Jamil is like “KALIM STOP, YOU HAVE ALREADY ORDERED 30 PARFAITS !!!, what are we going to do with all of this ?!”

- “the potato ? As a servant ? That’s hilarious” Vil is aware of all the maid thing since where he comes from wealthy families tend to have this kind of employees in their mansions

- NEVERTHELESS he can’t have a girl/boy in NRC dressed as a maid and you NOT 👏🏻 BEING 👏🏻 ON 👏🏻 POINT

- DRESS ! Check HIGH HEELS ! check STOCKINGS ! Check .... he goes on and on

- “Vil-senpai, I’m really grateful that you have taken your time to help me but don’t you think that your dorm also needs help-?” “SHUT UP GRACELESS POTATO we are not getting out this classroom until you learn how to move graciously in those high heels between tables while holding the tray , NOW LETS START AGAIN”

- At the end of the day somehow you have managed to make him happy, the next day you will show all your effort to Vil !

- He comes with Rook, it seems that he’s looking for you with his eyes but when you look back at him you never expect to receive such a gentle and proud look

- “Vil/senpa- ! I mean ... “Vil-sama !! Welcome ☺️” you say nervous yet excited to see him there. “Good enough, it looks like even dirty potatoes can turn into princess” (you are like “wait I’m the maid here, not a princess 😅”)

- Vil leans forward and puts a string of hair behind you ear and says in a low voice so only you can hear “a really pretty potato indeed”

- He enters the maid cafe and leaves you blushing in the entrance

- “Are we gonna treat ourselves or what potato ?! “ “ ah ! I’m so sorry master !!”

- Vil has a satisfied smile

- He is so grateful that every time he attends councils is via LIVE ‘cause the moment you said “maid cafe” he spilled the beverage he was drinking

- “m-m-m-mAID CAFÉ ?!” He can’t believe this is happening, for some seconds he can feel a creepy smile appearing in his face until ...

- “But how am I going to go to the cafe ?, I can have Ortho going there but knowing him he will focus the camera on desserts and not in (y/n) costume ... NOT THAT IM A CREEP OR SOMETHING Ijustwanttoseearealmaidinaction well is not that she’s/he’s “real” per say but-“

- Ortho is listening to all his mumbling from back his seat

- “Onii-chan 😊”

- “Ah... what is it Ortho ?”

- “Just go 😠”

- It took A LOT from his little brother to convince him to go and look for you

- The day of the festival it was CROWDED as hell and he was sooo grateful that the classroom where you were having the cafe had a window that had a view to one of the gardens

- He was peeking all the movement from the window looking for you, but some minutes passed and he started thinking (what am I thinking ? Obviously she’s not gonna see me from here ... but entering is NOT an option either ... maybe I just should go-) “Iidia-San?”

- You scared the crap out of him, he was lost in thought but thanks to that he didn’t go

- “Ah! Sorry sorry, Um ... (you remember your character) “iidia-sama, is something the matter ? Why are you out there ?”

- Perhaps Zeus had pity on his soul. You look SO CUTE SO ADORABLE SO SEXY-

- “Uh.... no, it’s just ... there’s a lot of noise inside” you know about his anxiety and you tell him “well, doesn’t my master want something ? I can bring him anything he desires to this window if Iidia-sama wishes”

- He just had a nosebleed

- “I-Iidia- sama ?!” “Ah ! Sorry .... Um yeah o-one crepe... p-please”

- He goes back to Ignihyde with a delicious crepe and a memory of you calling him master... but wait a sec...

- “WHY DIDNT I BROUGHT A CAMERA?!?!?!?!” “I ALSO COULD HAVE RECORDED HER/HIS VOICE DAMN IT!!!!”

- maid ... cafe ? This is interesting

- He was processing everything, from the concept and your explanation to all of the reactions that caused in the guys

- (Why were they so shocked ? Well I guess I will have to find out)

- He’s royalty and everyone calls him “sama” all the time, well except from Lilia, so he thinks that a bunch of butlers calling him that again isn’t any different ... but you 🤔

- How intriguing, you always call him “senpai” or “san” ... now this have caught his attention

- His dorm was organizing everything quite well and as usual Diasomnia had really disciplined members so his presence wasn’t really that necessary so he went to Lilia and asked him about this “maid cafes”

- Lilia knew about the maids but also didn’t understand the concept of mixing maids and cafes, but Lilia being the little devil he was he said some ... funny information that could intrigue Malleus

- “They are humans, but just like pixies they charm every man when they see them” “charm them ? But (y/n) is human ... how can she/he charm anyone ?” “Hehehe you will understand when you see her/him”

- The day arrived, and oh yeah, Lilia was right, he was expecting you to be little and with wings, leaving pixie dust behind but no ... it was just you with a strange yet cute little skirt and fluffy sleeves... your eyes looked at him and your little cheeks tainted a light shade of pink ... (what is this ? I can’t stop looking at her/him) he was in daze

- “Umm .... Malleus-sama ?”

- “Uh .... I’m sorry, so this is a maid ... you are quite powerful”

- “ uh.. hu” you just said your lines when you saw him but he didn’t seem to have listened to you so you decide to repeat them

- “Welcome back Malleus- sama ! We are so enlightened to receive you !!”

- Again .... he’s dazed , but this time he did hear you, so acting a little weird he enters the cafe, you handle him the menu and explain the recommendations

- You are so nervous trying to remember all your lines that you don’t notice it but Malleus is admiring everything about you with loving eyes

- You take his order and go to the kitchen (he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he just ordered since he isn’t familiar with the dishes but anyway)

- Maybe he doesn’t notice himself but he’s looking at you everywhere you go with a little smile on his face

- “Maybe (y/n) has magic after all”

[ffeynn]

How- how did I just discover your blog? I really like the pale blue aesthetic! Anyways, if it's okay, can I ask for the marine bio club taking their shy fem s/o out on an aquarium date please? Thank u! (and mayhaps a first kiss too pls)

「 aquarium date + first kiss with a shy!s/o: marine bio club 」

a/n: ahh thank you for liking the pale blue and also requesting!! and ofc ofc i love them, i hope i at least can make you smile with this! and the words are around 1.8k if im not wrong but still! im sorry that it gets shorter toward the end anonn

pairings: shinkai kanata, hakaze kaoru, kanzaki souma x shy!reader (seperate)

↬ there wasn’t much of a crowd the day you and kanata went to your aquarium date. maybe even the universe wanted for you two to be off in your own little world, not like the both of you haven’t done so. shinkai was the one who asked you out on a date shortly after you were officially announced as a couple.

☆ walking along the entrance of the aquarium, your eyes immediately brightened up in amusement. it’s been a long time since you visited an aquarium so to have kanata bring you here is perfect. “the aquarium looks nice right? looking at the fish heals me.” he said. you nodded in response, excitement awaits you the more you stepped into the place. all of a sudden, a hand holds out toward your direction.

“h-huh?” by his sudden gesture, you find yourself quite flustered. but not wanting to let kanata wait, you timidly placed your hand over him. he intertwined it with a smile flashed at you. “hehe, now we won’t lose each other.” with that said, you walked to your first exhibition, holding hands with your blue haired boyfriend.

↬ watching how his eyes lit up, the way his mouth curved upward by bits, how he interacts with the marine life inside the humongous tank and how they responded to him so naturally, having your first date at an aquarium truly is the perfect way to start off your relationship.

☆ although that doesn’t mean you’re the only one who feels this. kanata loves how amazed you’re at each marine life you saw, how intently you listened to his words about some fishes and also the way you giggle happily because a guppy swimmed to you from your calls. it would be nice if he can take a picture of you right now, sadly his phone is now being repaired.

well it’s alright then, kanata will just save this sight of you in his mind, he’ll make sure he keeps it well. the sight of you waving at his sea friends with a warm smile on your face, blue shades of lighting surrounding you was more than enough for him to never let himself forget this moment.

↬ it’s a shame that you were already nearing the end of the aquarium, your pace had gotten slower as you lightly swinged your hand which was intertwined with kanata’s. the blue haired stopped on his track, pointing to a flapjack octopus, “that’s flapjack octopus, cute right?” he remembered some days before that you wanted to see said octopus in real life. kanata is glad you seemed to forget that their sweet first date is coming to an end, he doesn’t want to see you sad anymore.

☆ your eyes widened slightly at the rare sight of the octopus, you were so excited to be able to see it for the first time. he lets go of your hand and told you to go up closer, you were such a mysterious being, in a lovely way. for him now, seeing you happy is the best view than seeing any other sea friends of his happy!

while kanata too, doesn’t know where his impulse came from but he took a glance at you. without any warnings, he leaned in straight without hesitation until his lips met yours. you frozened up at your place, obviously startled by it. remember how earlier you said you were quite flustered? now you’re beyond flustered.

“ka- kanata.. you..” poor you, too surprised to even say a coherent sentence. you didn’t make an effort to hide the growing shades of roses on your cheek.

“did you.. not like it? maybe that was too sudden.. I’m sorry.” if it wasn’t for the fact that you can easily notice changes on his expression, no one would know that he feels guilty and gloomy for his love gesture just now.

you panicked at your sad lover and his misunderstanding, “wait kanata no! I, I like it very much!” the moment you realized what you just blurted out, you were sure your face was akin to a tomato.

kanata cracked a smile on his face as he replied to your words of assurement, “ehe, I like it very much too.” oh dear, he’s too dangerous for your poor and timid heart. except you won’t mind him making your heart palpitates out of love.

↬ when he heard that you’ve been wanting to go to aquarium, kaoru was quick to plan a perfect aquarium date in his mind. he was so eager to make you think this was one of the best date you’ve ever gone to but at the same time he’s panicking. sure, kaoru has gone on a few dates at the aquarium but this is you! he’s going on an aquarium date with you! he wants to make it more special!

☆ you looked at your watch and wondered if ever your lover will come to the date. did he suddenly have work to do? just when you were about to call him, a rushed footsteps could be heard from afar.

“soー sorry.. I was too caught upー” he stopped his words the moment you caressed his back as a way to tell him to calm down. before he explains whatever reason it was for his late arrival, you told him to catch his breath first. besides, the mini bouquet he’s gripping seems to give out the answer.

↬ you took out your phone to take a selfie of you and the scenery of the marine life swimming around. despite being shy to ask kaoru to be in the selfie along with you, you asked him, “hey kaoru, do you want to take a selfie together?”

☆ without any thinking made, kaoru took your request positively. happily if I must point it out. he bent himself down to fit into your camera, the close proximity maybe did make your ears red. it’ll be nice if kaoru didn’t see your reddening ears. “one.. two..” and on the count of three, you clicked the button.

you thought the picture would probably look nice if it weren't for the fact that kaoru suddenly kissed your cheek when your finger clicked the button. now the only thing you’re thinking of is how red you must be from the abrupt kiss. in some way, kaoru is thankful that you’re hiding your face from him or you would’ve seen just how he’s more flustered even if he’s the one who initiates it.

↬ around the exit for the aquarium, there was a souvenirs shop. kaoru took a plushie of a sea animal that he remembered you saying is your favorite and rushed to you who’s waiting outside the shop after he paid for it.

☆ he took a few seconds before calling out to you, let the guy soften down when he saw you pat the small bouquet he bought for you. if you’re going to smile that way whenever he gives you a small bouquet then kaoru is willing to do it everyday.

and if your smile gets as cheerful and happy as this, if your eyes will brighten up more than ever akin to a star, then he will buy you lots and lots of plushies. a gift from kaoru to you; so that he’ll always be in your mind. just like you never leaving his. so out of the spur of the moment, he asked if he can kiss you. you looked up to meet his eyes and before kaoru could say anything about his question to not let you feel uncomfortable, you answered with a yes. take the lead kaoru, your s/o is letting you kiss him.

kaoru probably had created many different scenarios of your first kiss but outside of an aquarium souvenir shop is not one of them. vacant of people around them, you took this rare chance to put away your things, hold kaoru’s forearms, tiptoe on your feet and left a 5 seconds kiss on his lips. after constantly being on the teased side, seeing your boyfriend so flustered with love was fun. the kiss felt sweet too. not like you were any better. this was the first time you’ve ever done that.

↬ how do you go to an aquarium date? usually in an aquarium, souma will just walk around, admiring and studying the marine life inside the tank. but what if you thought that was boring? this is a date, while he’s content with just walking around with you beside him, talking about all the sea lifes.. what about you? and despite him being embarrassed, he lowered his pride and asked for help from the people around him. (his akatsuki senpais gives really good advice! as expected of them!)

☆ at the first place, when you caught hints of souma worrying over if you’ll feel content with just walking around with him, you almost snorted. really, what was he mulling about, just knowing that you’re going to be with him is enough to make a bashful smile up your face. now that you and him are dating, you really wish he would know that and you’ll tell him that during your awaited aquarium date.

fast-forward to when the two of you were already inside the date location. just before you and souma started venturing into the place full of sea lifes, you found yourself holding your breath when you asked the purple haired, “do you.. want to hold hands?” souma wants to hold hands with you too! he wants even if he was inexperienced with affections. and he would never wish to see you disappointed.

for the greater, we’ll just feign ignorance to the growing blush on the both of you.

↬ you were doing exactly what he thought would make you feel bored but the joyous expression you have says otherwise. souma glanced at his hand which hasn’t left yours since then, your hand in his was perfect. like it was meant to be holding one another. the nervousness he felt while starting his day today was subdued by the time you’ve spent with him.

☆ “um.. souma?” he responded to your call almost immediately with a voice that seemed more warm than before. you turned your head toward him and looked straight in his light purple eyes, “you see, it doesn’t matter where or how, as long as I’m with you, I’ll always be happy with that.”

ending your words, you instantly looked elsewhere. souma never expected you to mutter those words to him, he appreciates you for that. you were right and that fact goes the same way with him. souma also loves how shy you become after saying those kinds of things, it makes his heart swell with adoration. the hand holding yours was tightening his hold yet it feels more calm.

↬ somewhere in the aquarium, tucked from public’s eyes, souma with his face covered in pretty red was still in disbelief. your lover being in such a situation, it helps soothe your own bashfulness too.

☆ with souma, he always makes sure to have your consent first before doing anything. that goes the same with kisses, more precisely a first kiss. he was surprised with himself too from his own little selfish request but there was this urge to lay a kiss on your lips. “may.. I kiss you?” he said, requested, asked, whatever it is, the only answer you’ll give will never change.

and again, somewhere in the aquarium, tucked from public’s eyes, souma cupped your cheek with one hand and leaned in. the process was slow, he looked into your eyes with his face dusted of rose shades. the kiss also felt long despite lasting for a quick 3 seconds.

[alreadyblondenow]

King Taeyong | 3

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST, fantasy!au Summary: You welcome back Taeyong in your life after he left you for almost a year. Maybe its because your feelings never left in the first place. Now that he’s back, he’s more transparent and honest with you. Promises over promises, is he going to keep his promises this time?  Word count: 5k Warnings: Unprotected sex, swearing, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols but not too much, death of someone  Note: -The fantasy part is already here. I tried to keep it short and simple, didn’t want to overdo it.  -Imagine a Narnia kingdom setting hihi Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Seeing Taeyong again after for so long was something you’re not looking forward to happen. Even though you imagined him coming back to you, now that its real you’re like a statue. You have million things to say to him but non came out in your mouth. You wanted to yell at him, curse at him but you can’t. It’s been a long time but what you feel for him never left.  

You made coffee for the both of you still trying to escape the gaze from Taeyong’s eyes.  Those beautiful eyes that will make you fall in love with him again any second. Those beautiful eyes you used to lock eyes with while he’s making love with you.

“Y/n, I’m sorry” he broke the silence but his voice was almost a whisper. It made your heart sink, suddenly you’re hurt again. Tears falling because you don’t know what he’s sorry for. Are you sorry because you went away? Are you sorry because you’re breaking up with me?

“But can you please, come with me?” he added. You were so confused because you thought he’s here for closure.  “Baby please, just please. I’ll explain later. ” the pet name gave you shivers, hearing him call you with fondness again makes your heart warm. Out of respect and curiosity, you grabbed any coat you could find. Putting the cupcakes to the fridge, and leaving a note to Jaehyun, ‘I went out with Taeyong.’

Seeing Taeyong with his two bodyguards Jungwoo and Lucas is something normal, but seeing more than two bodyguards in front of your apartment sure is not. You try to count them in mind and they were at least eighteen. Why does Taeyong has eighteen bodyguards today?

His bodyguards addressed him as “Your highness,” as if he’s really a king or someone from a royal family. “The car is at the back of the building” a man in black suit informed Taeyong without any expression. Just a stern look in Taeyong’s eyes. What is happening. Is this some kind of joke.

All is settled inside the car and you sit as far from him crossing your arms and biting your lip from time to time. He came closer to you touching your knee with full bravery but you moved it away. “I promise all will make sense later” he said, keeping his hands to himself not trying to touch you again. Everything thats happening right now looks like a joke to you, some sick prank.

“I missed you. so much” he started talking again, annoying you with his sweet gestures.  You still gave him the silent treatment that he deserves but deep inside you wanted him to know how much you missed him too. And that you waited for so long but he never came back.

Finally, the car stopped. When Taeyong opened the door, the light coming from the outside was weirdly different from your perspective. You got out of the car still squinting trying to recognise where on Earth did he take you.

Everywhere you look seems so foreign in your eyes, you’re positive that you’re not in your own country. Impossible, you cant believe what you’re seeing right now. Is this a dream? A castle is right in front of you, one that looks like it came from a storybook. Tall, wide and overwhelming for your eyes but nonetheless it welcomes you. Seeing people bow before Taeyong, convinced you that this might be a dream, or a nightmare because Taeyong is in it.

This cant be real.

When the two of you are finally alone in his so called office... in his kingdom, you wanted to wake up. Thinking about opening your eyes over and over again, forcing yourself to wake up. Seeing Taeyong in a dream hurts so bad it makes your heart heavy, you cant take it anymore.

“you’re not dreaming” Taeyong surprised you with a kiss being brave again. You slapped him in the face, hard. Your hand burns from the slap “it’s hurts right?” Taeyong asked, “That means you’re not dreaming”

No, it cant be. Taeyong? A king?

Everything that’s happening right now is like a big pill that’s hard to swallow. The moment you saw Taeyong on your doorstep, asking you to come with him, his kiss, the castle, is all too much and hard to believe. You asked Taeyong again what is this place but you get the same answer, “My kingdom.”

“Oh please Taeyong, not that bullshit again” you said hard and stern. He rolls his sleeves and let out a heavy sigh. He’s not forcing you to believe him but he wants you to believe on every word he’s about to tell you now. He clears his throat, and made you sit on the couch with him.

“I was away for a friend’s wedding. He’s a good friend of mine and I couldn’t miss his wedding” he breaths in and exhales sharply,  “the wedding was perfect and everyone was having a good time, until… someone shot the groom, my friend, Taemin, right before my eyes. His wife... died too” his steady voice is not so steady now, you see his hands shaking while telling you more of what happened and to be honest you dont know if you should believe it.

“It was a fucking massacre we should’ve known better. Johnny lost his girlfriend too” he reaches for your hand and smiled when you didn’t nudge. “I was thankful… Really thankful that you were far from me during that time. Many people died that night. A lot of kingdoms right now are facing big problems. My kingdom needed me y/n, thats why I couldnt go back to you.”

Feeling his touch again made you want to wake up more. Praying that you really wanted to open your eyes now. Too much, everything about this dream is too much. “Doyoung, Johnny and Yuta are now looking for the last assassin, and it’s in your world. We figured, its there to hurt me, to kill you” there was a moment of silence, he came closer to you, his lips touched yours again. You didn’t slapped him this time. His soft lips made you want to stay in this dream more, if this is a dream might as well drown in it.

You hugged him tight, you both fell on the floor with a loud thud. He chuckled but you see tears in his eyes, “look babe were on the floor again” you dried the tears on his eyes with your thumb and laughed with him. Suddenly happiness hits you like a truck again just like the day you met Taeyong for the first time. “Can I kiss you again?” this time its you who initiated the kiss, you kissed him deeply with love.

He asked you to changed your clothes so people in his kingdom wont think your clothes are weird. The maids picked a simple beige garden dress for you though It was kind of long for your liking but it was surprisingly lightweight and beautiful. In other words, you looked like a princess. Get it together y/n, you’re a ballerina for goodness sakes think of it as a costume.

The place looks exactly how fairytales described it. High ceilings painted with clouds and angels, open roof for the everyone to admire the beautiful sky, fresh breeze, people wearing fancy dresses, knights guarding every corner of the palace and Taeyong....looking like a prince fresh out of a story book. You wait at the big balcony watching the sun set in front of you almost looking like a painting. “Im sure you have a lot of questions” Taeyong interrupted your thoughts.

You scoffed, “Lee Taeyong, you have no idea”

“Im sure I can answer them all. Fire away”

“Well, you can start by telling me the truth and tell me stuff I need to know. Parents? Siblings? ....Allergies?” You shook your head, “personal stuff Taeyong”

He’s calm expression melts your heart, he’s always like that. You felt him kiss your exposed shoulders his arms encircled on your waist. “I’m still your Taeyong. Just add the word king” he let out a soft chuckle but you gave him a look telling him you’re serious. “Okay, tiger. chill” he hugged you tighter letting his warm breath hit the shell of your ear, “I lost my parents when I was 8 from the same assassins that killed my friend Taemin. I have a sister but she’s in your world living peacefully without any memory of this world. I dont have any allergies” he turned you around so you’re facing him, he missed being this close to you. He doesn’t say it but he’s so turned on right now, his gaze never leaving yours.

“In your world, you call my world... a fairytale. There is magic lurking in this world but nothing too crazy don’t worry. No harry potter type of situation.” He winks.

“I want you to meet someone very important to me, one of these days I’ll bring you to her. She’s someone special and she helped me shaped my life and with my duties as king” you nod silently.

Taeyong secretly worries about you, to be honest he worries for you and your mental state while living with him here in his kingdom. Is it really okay with you? Do you still see him as the Lee Taeyong as your number one fan and not as the highest king in this world?

“Y/n.. please be honest with with me. Dont hide what you really feel right now.”

“Baby. You were gone for almost a year, it was a lonely time for me. I appreciate your effort for explaining everything even though its too much. I’ll get there. I hope you understand that.” he nods changing the subject and showering your face with kisses.

“How are you?” Taeyong asked sweetly like how he usually do.

You let out a small laugh, and told him everything he missed. That you were devastated, sad and lonely when he was gone and that he missed the opportunity of meeting your parents during Christmas eve. “Im sorry. Im sorry for not being normal enough to make you happy and provide normal stuff-“

“Dont say that” you cut him off, “You’re more than enough for me Taeyong. Dont say stuff like that” he’s still guilty but you comfort him nonetheless you never want to feel sad anymore. Not now that you’re in each others arms again.

Taeyong prepared dinner for the both of you while you’re out roaming the castle grounds. He made a picnic style dinner setup at the balcony of his chambers making you comfortable on your first night here in his kingdom. “Yum!” you let out a groan out of excitement and told him you missed his cooking.

“You know, I planned to have my own bakery. I already took care of the loan and the bank will help me make my dreams come true” you sounded really excited while telling him what you’ve been up to while he was away. He was happy that you had everything under control and you made the planning all by yourself. “Actually I could help you out. Forget about the bank, I can help you. Let’s find a decent place for your bakery when we get back” Of course your super rich boyfriend will help you out because he loves you so much.

You knew Taeyong loves seeing you do what you love, and you know Taeyong offered help because this is his way of taking part in your life. Again. And you love him more for it. “Yeah. Lets do that” you accepted his offer with a smile, feeding him a potato chip with a mouthful of guac. Just how he liked it. “How about you Taeyongie, whats new?” you made him think hard. “Hmmm. Well, do you accept interns?” You laughed hard and loud your giggles echoed in his room.

“What Im serious! I can taste everything you make, clean tables, anything you like me to do” There’s the Taeyong that you know. The simple man with a great sense of humour that you fell in love with. Now that you’re talking about dreams, you confidently told him about the life you wanted to build with him when all this is over, telling him you cant wait to go back and be with him again.

“If you’re going to marry me someday. I want a baby girl... now, I know you need a prince as an heir....” Taeyong laughed so loud enough for the whole castle to hear. Brave of you to tell him that you want kids in the future.

“But I want to have my own mini me. And maybe if we get lucky, you can have your own mini you” you continued and Taeyong is still laughing.

“I’ll help you buy our house when I save enough from the bakery. We will make love from sun up until sun down. Never ending happy mornings with you. Tie my hair until we grow old and everything in between, I just want to be with you until I die” Even though it made Taeyong laugh so hard, he can’t help but have butterflies in his stomach the whole time you were talking. He wanted the same thing too.

“I promise. We will have a normal life.” he kissed you to seal his promise.

After dinner you took a shower in Taeyong’s garden bathroom. Never getting used to what this castle can do, it really surprised you how a bathroom can be so magical. Taeyong’s bathroom smells like fresh flowers everywhere, maybe thats why Taeyong smells good all the time. It feels good to be in Taeyong’s comfortable clothes again. He gave you his favorite sweater and a pair of comfortable sweatpants. You only wore the sweater and underwear, not bothering to wear sweatpants.

As you got out of the bathroom you see Taeyong laying in bed with a book on his hand, topless and flashing his wide broad shoulders. You remember nights at your apartment when he waits for you in bed while he’s playing games on his phone. He looks so handsome. You crawl towards him feeling his soft bed and snuggles beside him comfortably. “Finally. Some alone time with you” he kisses you softly, carefully nibbling your neck and slowly tugging the sweater that he gave you as if he’s testing waters.

You were impatient so you removed it already showing off your breast to him. He gently kisses your body marking it like how he used to. His touch and kisses are still the same you thought. Oh how you missed this feeling. You crave for Taeyong and he can see that you’re eager “Slow down baby. We have all night” he says while drawing small circles on your thigh. It makes you crazy how he’s taking time with you and how he slowly devours your skin while you crave for him entirely.

He quickly switched positions with you, now kissing your lips slowly going down to face your pussy. Gently spreading your legs in front of him, you let out a gasp and a choked  moan when Taeyong blows cold air at your slit, making you shiver. He smiles at you before he finally licks your pussy, slow and deep. His tongue starts from the bottom slowly goes up to your clit and gently kiss it. Catching your first orgasm for the night, Taeyong overstimulates you while you ride your high. Your moans are load and sharp he cant help but smirk and feel proud of his work.

“Baby are you planning to wake up the whole castle?” leaving wet kisses on your left breast and bites your nipple.

“Babe just fuck me already” you beg, feeling his hands kneading your breast, playing with your nipples with his thumb. You’re so focused on what he’s doing with your breast, you didn’t notice he’s spreading your legs wide for him preparing you before he finally fucks you. Without warning he inserts two fingers already to stretched your cunt. You yelped and tried to grasp anything from bed, you feel like your energy was slowly fading until you surrender in his touch. He chuckled.

This is not funny Taeyong. “Lee Taeyong im almost the-“ you warn him but he lets you cum on his fingers. You whisper sweet words to him expressing how much you missed him and it made the sexual tension more intense. Lining his cock on your pussy, coating it with your essence and slowly he gets deeper and deeper inside you. It feels so good. He fucks in slow pace, taking his time before going faster. You let out a string of moans, encircling your arms on his neck feeling his back muscles.

Slow, fast, deep and sharp thrust. He’s taking his time, fighting his urge to cum before you. Little did he know you cant take it anymore, you’ve cum so many times when he was fucking you slow. You tried pushing him away but you’re too weak. Taeyong fucked you again and again until you don’t respond to him and he let’s you sleep. He took care of you before joining you, made sure you’re clean. “I love you y/n” he whispers before sleeping beside you.

Taeyong slept like a baby beside you. It was his first time getting a good sleep from months of longing you. Telling himself he will never let anything come between the two of you ever again.

And it went on like this for days, weeks, even months while you’re stay in his kingdom. You became used to the castle grounds already, roaming around as if you’ve live there for a long time. On your way to Taeyong’s office, you see Taeyong with a beautiful woman almost your age wearing a beautiful dress, she has gorgeous long straight blonde hair and her skin is as fair as Taeyong’s. You got jealous for a second but maybe he’s Taeyong’s cousin or whatever.

Taeyong saw you and quickly introduced you to the beautiful princess in front of you.

“Y/n, this is Sorn. My fiancé”

Your what Lee Taeyong?

You gave him a look. A look thats saying you’re confused, mad and at the same time you want to punch him. Then you remembered the time when Jaehyun introduced himself as your future husband, you think this is his way of getting even. But he wasn’t kidding at all.

“Arranged marriage when we were both still young. I hope you understand” the princess speaks and reached out a hand full of sparkling rings. You wonder which ring Taeyong gave her. You didnt have a choice but to be nice.

Taeyong and Sorn are now talking inside his office about some royalty shit you thought and you can’t help but sulk. Yuta noticed that you’re bothered by the thought of Taeyong having a fiancé, hoping he could help you feel better he explains the situation further.

“Don’t worry y/n, it’s only for formality. This royalty shit is crazy and Taeyong needs a “queen” to rule here so he can be with you from time to time in your world” you thought that the idea was fucked up. “What was he thinking?” You almost shout but Yuta laughs at you.  “I told you. This royalty shit is crazy. A lot of sacrifices needs to be done”

“I love her y/n” Yuta finally confess. “To protect this world. To protect my kingdom, I have to let go of Sorn” your heart aches for what Yuta just told you. How can the world of royalties can be so cruel to good people?

Yuta and Sorn were young and in love for as long as they can remember. So deeply in love, that they plan to help each other’s kingdoms by marriage someday. But Sorn’s family faced problems and they needed help immediately, so the royal court’s decision is to arrange her for marriage. The royal court is so obsessed with finding Taeyong a queen and they saw Sorn as a good opportunity. “Duty before self” Yuta explained.

“Why didn’t you volunteer your kingdom? Is that too selfish?” You asked, trying not to sound rude.

“My kingdom is not that rich to solve her kingdom’s money problems. Thats why I’ve been  saving money in your world and be as rich as possible. That’s how I help my father with being king for now “

You cant believe this tragic love story that you’re hearing from Yuta. Just the thought of it makes you scared, that even though two people deeply love each other if fate is not in their favor, you can’t do something about it. Feeling bad about oversharing his feelings, Yuta told you not to worry, for Taeyong loves you so much and his kingdom equally.

You didn’t notice that you fell asleep while waiting for Taeyong to join you in bed. You felt soft kisses on your cheek, Taeyong waking you up in the middle of the night. Softly stroking your hair telling you to shush and follow him. Guiding you as you follow him to dark places that you’re not familiar with, you finally arrived to where he’s taking you.

You squint a little, seeing candles lit up, different flowers scattered on the floor, you’ve guessed you’re walking on an aisle with Taeyong. Doyoung, Yuta, Johnny and....a priest is waiting at the end of the aisle. Gasping as you realised, you’re about to get married.

“I was actually going to ask you to marry me over dinner tonight but-“ you cut him off and kissed him. “I’ll marry you.” You sad with a smile and hugged him tight. Crying tears of joy already.

You both proceed to this secret wedding that he organised. It was simple, just like you’ve always wanted. Genuine like him and sincere like his love. Taeyong promised to give you a proper wedding when you both get back to your world, but you told him you wouldn’t trade this wedding for anything.

Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny are happy for the both of you. They’ve seen Taeyong suffer enough without you and they all think that you both deserve to be happy. The three princes congratulates the both of you and telling them they’re more than happy seeing their Taeyongie marry happily someone he loves.

“Just dont be too loud fucking tonight or the castle will know somethings up” Johnny jokes making Taeyong punch him on his arm.

You spend your honeymoon enjoying the cold breeze around the palace. Sitting on the grass while watching how the castle turn yellow because of the soft sunrise. Taeyong got you beautiful flowers from his garden, tying it in a perfect knot making a small bouquet. He told you that the last assassin is dead and finally you can go back to the human world.

Just like the sunrise, you watch Taeyong be happy beside you. Remembering every detail of this beautiful moment. He noticed you were staring at him for a while now and he cant help but make you laugh by showing his wedding ring. Reminding you that he’s your husband from now on. Taeyong completely changed your life.

It was almost afternoon when you finally wake up from your sleep and still couldn’t believe that you’re married to this handsome guy kissing you. For the second time, Lee Taeyong is waking you up from your beautiful sleep by kissing you until you acknowledge him. “Lee Taeyong what do you want?” You asked him forcing yourself to open your eyes.

“Good morning... wife” and that alone made you smile. Taeyong thought your smile was so bright but it never hurts his eyes.

“I need you to meet someone important today” he’s now kissing your neck. Seriously this guy. “Last three days before you leave this kingdom by the way” he chuckled. “Everything will go back to normal once we go back. I promise.” He gave you one good kiss before leaving to prepare for breakfast.

He told you that you’re meeting the kingdom’s witch, a nice witch who helped him to be the king that he is.  “Ruby is like my secret weapon. She warns me and gives me knowledge with all the decisions that I make for the kingdom.”

Ruby is a witch that tells Taeyong what the future holds for his kingdom. She never tells what will happen entirely. She didn’t want to ruin the natural order of the universe, she can only warn his king and give him choices to make good decisions.

When you arrived at where you believed Ruby lives, a pond inside a cave, you thought that maybe Ruby likes fishing. You peeked at how deep the pond is and you see coins and, random things under the water that are all solid gold.

“Anything you throw in this pond turns into solid gold” he winks after he explains.

You saw the water shine as Ruby comes out of the pond with all her glory turn into this gorgeous human in front of you. From being a mermaid with golden fishtail. A mermaid witch, you thought. And she is naked in front of your husband with only her golden hair covering her boobs. Wow.

“Y/n, this is Ruby.” Taeyong broke the silence. When Ruby took a step further out from the water, she turned in a much decent human, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you y/n. Congratulations.” She smiled sweetly to you.

Ruby was nice to you and she offered to read your future. You didn’t want Ruby to show you your future to be honest, but you did it for Taeyong. She asked for your hand, holding it while she looks directly in your eyes. You saw what she saw. And there’s no need to tell Taeyong about it. You both giggle like little girls after you both saw your future, leaving Taeyong really curious.

In the future that Ruby showed you, you will have a little girl. And you will live like how he always promised for the both of you. Its pure happiness. “Thank you Ruby. It really means a lot” you told her with sincerity.

But little did you know, Ruby just showed you the future that you wanted to see. Not showing you your true future. She asked to speak to Taeyong privately and you respectfully left them talking.

Ruby did the same thing to Taeyong, but without the filter.  She showed Taeyong the challenges and pain he will put you through if he continue this married life with you.  “Your highness, Im afraid you’re not going to be the father of the child” Ruby showed Taeyong what you saw in her eyes earlier. It made him smile but he felt a pang of pain at the same time.

“Don’t get me wrong your highness, the child will come from you. But you will not be present as her father in her life.” Taeyong was confused. Ruby continued showing him more, and his world crashed. His heart feels heavy, he feels broken than ever. Taeyong is scared to the bone right now, but he trusts Ruby with his life and he is positive that Ruby wants what’s best for the kingdom and him.

Taeyong saw how his kingdom suffered from a famine while he was away from the kingdom living his life with you in the human world. He will have no other choice but to leave you again for the kingdom needs him. The famine will last for a year, and your pregnancy will not be the healthiest. You will lose the child and it will drive you to killing yourself. He saw how Doyoung told him the news that you passed away and it made him crazy. Taeyong turned into a mad king and the whole kingdom suffered in other words.

“Your highness now I ask of you.... to do the same thing as we did to your sister and prevent everything whats about to happen. We will create a life for y/n, a beautiful life without you in it” Ruby explains with a heavy heart.

Taeyeon. Taeyong’s sister is living well in the human world without any memory of the kingdom. Taeyeon was with their parents when they were killed and the incident traumatised her. To save her from being crazy, they gave her a potion for forgetting everything about the incident, the kingdom, Taeyong, everything.

Taeyong didn’t have much choice. He didn’t want to hurt you and kill yourself that will indeed make him crazy for good. Although its wrong for him to decide on his own, he still agreed to Ruby. He told her all about your dreams, the normal life you long with him, and the bakery you wanted to be successful with.

“I want her - I want her to have a peaceful life when she wakes up. A life without sadness, make sure she’s never alone or lonely. Be sure to never let her give up dancing because she loves her craft so much. Let her explore new things” Taeyong sniffs and continues to instruct Ruby. “She wants a bakery, let it be so successful customers will always buy every masterpiece she bakes. Please let her be with someone who truly loves her the same way I will.”

It really hurts him to pass you on to someone, it breaks his heart thinking of another man having you. “Please let that man be Jaehyun” he could only trust you with Jaehyun. Ruby hands the potion to Taeyong with a heavy heart. “I know you just got married. I’m sorry my king”

Your husband cant look you in the eye right now, but he stayed brave and put the small bottle in his pocket. “I’m still curious on what she showed you babe” Taeyong said, faking a smile. You let out a loud laugh without knowing what he really feels.

“Oh its a secret” you told him with a big mocking smile.

“I love you, y/n” he smiles ever so sweetly before your eyes.

Noticing his beautiful rose scar, and gently stroking it with your thumb. “I love you too, Lee Taeyong.”

[yeslordmyking]

Happy 27th Birthday Jackson Wang

My Journey With Jackson Wang

For Jackson's birthday this year, I've decided to share why Jackson's birth is so important to me personally. I'll walk through the emotional journey that ensued once Jackson entered my life.

(Images and gifs are not mine)

Fun Beginnings

It all started when I decided to explore more kpop groups than just Bigbang. The last month of 2016, I discovered GOT7, the group that sang A and Hard Carry. I learned they were having a comeback very soon, so I studied up everything I could on them. The member that caught my eye was Jackson Wang.

Beneath the Surface

I won't pretend I had this amazing ability to go beyond what was shown to me. Not at first. I saw Jackson as the biggest goofball in the group. He was loud and fun and extra. Honestly I thought every GOT7 member was fun and crazy, but Jackson in particular stood out to me. Then, I found this moment.

When Jackson burst into tears and collapsed into his Mom and Dad's arms. As an empathetic cryer, I was obviously using my sleeves to dry my own eyes. That was when I realized there was more to Jackson than the compilation videos were showing. After studying up from some good Jackson fans, I learned he was a gentleman, he had a soft side, he likes compliments and attention from his members, he had olympic level athleticism. These were all nice things to learn, but things only got deeper from there.

Stanning in 2017

Flight Log: Arrival era. My first GOT7 comeback. Poor Jackson got sick for a little while. When he returned, I saw how everyone welcomed him back so warmly. I remember seeing GOT7 joined Monsta X backstage- who I was also im the process of stanning- while reacting to their performance at a music show and everyone just seemed so happy for him to be there. They all loved each other. Jackson got along with basically every idol. Jackson must be very loved.

As I continued to stan, I learned just how good of a person he was. Stories from his past showed that Jackson was the kind person to care for complete strangers as close friends. He cared for elderly women who felt lonely or neglected. He spent hours talking with someone who was too depressed to live another day. He stood up for fans that may be jostled by security, even if it was ultimately for his protection. He made sure the women in his workspace were comfortable and respected. He shook hands and made contact with every person involved in working alongside him. He thanked God for his success in his letters. To me, Jackson seemed to be nothing short of a complete angel. Who could deny it?

Then, Jackson announced his solo career. That was when I saw things how they really were. The amount of hate that I witnessed towards Jackson was crushing for me. So imagine how bad it was for him. Physically, mentally, I saw him hit a wall. People were telling him what kind of music he was and wasn't capable of. They spread lies about him. Then they wondered why he stopped smiling as much.

They only saw him as a comedian or a joke. I just couldn't believe someone I thought was so wonderful was so despised. He was human. He may make mistakes, but he made an effort to correct them. No matter what, he still had feelings. He wasn't a robot or a clown. He could get tired. He could hurt. This was when I decided that I was going to be a ride or die Jackson fan. Because someone so kind and talented didn't deserve anything but love and to be supported for his dreams. I wanted to give it to him.

The Jacky Life

There was a lot of ups and downs after this. Jackson started Team Wang. This is where I saw a new side of Jackson. The hardworking Jackson, in real time. He showed the world his work ethic as he began to work from the ground up to make Team Wang a strong label. Through every release and every appearance he made, he gave 1000% of his effort. To the point where fans were afraid he was going to push himself too hard. He went through endless performances, intense dance competitions, long variety show shoots while enduring exhaustion, anemia, back pain, mental illness all without a complaint or a sign of lessening his passion for his art. I was so concerned, often breaking into tears over my worry. I didn't know what to do to let him know we were proud of him, we supported him, it was ok to rest. But I understood his mindset. He wanted to be taken seriously. He wanted people to see what he was capable of. He wanted the world to see him as Jackys already did. Then one day, it clicked for him. He stopped focusing on what negativity came his way. He learned and grew from it, and focused on improving himself. It was an amazing journey to witness.

It Gets Personal

Jackson continued to blast off as a solo artist, and participate in GOT7, all of which gained immense success. But then it was my turn to hit a wall. In my own life, I'd had doors slammed in my face over and over again, wearing me down more and more. I couldn't move forward. It seemed I wasn't meant to achieve my dreams. I started to kill my own dreams and believe they weren't meant to be pursued. My self worth and hope plummeted. Then Jackson's brand began to grow. "Know Yourself. Make Your Own History." He began to give more and more insight on how he left behind a secure future of olympic fencing to pursue his dreams. He talked about taking risks, learning from failure, not having regrets and at least trying to make your dreams come true. And these weren't just empty words for Jackson. He was living proof. I actually witnessed him rise like a phoenix from the ashes as he began to manage his health better, released his first album Mirrors, launch his own fashion brand, all while remaining his remarkably humble self. Other artists from all over the world flocked to be participants in his career. In his music, he expressed what his fans' support meant to him, and in his interviews he gives Jackys so much credit for getting him where he is now. It felt unreal to be acknowledged by someone I admired so much, and to hear someone who seems so out-of-my-league successful and talented encourage me to do the same. To say it so much that I truly believe he wants us to reach all of our dreams.

Team Wang For Life

For me, being a fan of Jackson Wang is beyond just liking his music. It's a source of love and motivation that I often have trouble giving myself. I see Jackson Wang as a blessing and a guide for me to help me take steps in my life I would've been afraid to were it not for Jackson's words and actions. So I'm extremely grateful for his existence on this earth and his decision to be a goodhearted and determined human being. His birthday is a day that I go back and think about everything he is and appreciate it.

Happy birthday Jackson Wang. Your journey so far has helped me in so many ways, and I will support you in whatever way I can. Thank you for making your presence on this earth so impactful. To me, you truly are a king, that I will continue to love through the ups and downs of this world. You're never alone.

~♡Sincerely, Your Princess♡~

[joaquinfeed]

ABC’s of Arthur Fleck (fem!reader)

A/N: I’m not sure if this has been done before many times, so sorry if it’s repetitive. I saw this prompt list online and thought ‘why not?’ ALSO. I don’t know who to credit for the list. So, if you know…tell me and I’ll give credit where it’s due! :) 

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

It’s no secret that Arthur is touch starved. He is always finding some way to show you his deep and meaningful affection for you. He’s not used to public display’s, and he likes to keep you all to himself, so he’ll typically opt for private moments over public ones. He absolutely adores playing with your fingers, placing soft kisses on your neck, or drawing patterns across your skin. He has to feel you to know that you’re really there.

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

Arthur finds something new every day that he swears will be his favorite memory. He cherishes every single moment with you, even the little arguments, because it all reminds him how much you love him. If he was forced to choose, he would say that his favorite memory is the first time he opened up about his mental illnesses to you. You, of course, were incredibly supportive and patient. He had never felt so loved before in his life.

C = cat or dog person (this is pretty obvious)

Arthur loves all animals, but he has always wanted a little kitten. They are playful, but not too hyper. They also don’t require as much care, and Arthur already has a lot on his plate. Although you’ve never talked about it, he secretly hopes you both will get a pet one day. 

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

Besides spreading joy and laughter, his biggest dream has already come true. If Arthur could, he’d spend the rest of his life making sure that you’re happy. He wasn’t sure if he’d be a good father or not, but if a baby was something you wanted or desired, he would put every last inch of effort into making that a reality when the time is right. He barely believes that you love him unconditionally, let alone another little human. He would be grateful either way.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? Do they go out? Do they read?)

Arthur’s perfect evening would go like this: cuddle with you, cook you some dinner, practice his standup routine to see your pretty little smile, cuddle with you, watch the Murray Franklin show, and then cuddle with you. He couldn’t get enough of your arms around him, and if he had to save up a little extra money to buy a few more soft sweaters (just so you would lay your head on his chest), so be it. Let it be known that he’s also not opposed to spending the evening in the bedroom. He can always watch Murray another time.

F = first date (what was it like?)

It was a little awkward for the both of you. Arthur was still so new to dating, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong. Plus, neither of you are rolling in money, and so you just stayed in at Arthur’s apartment. He cooked a nice meal for the both of you, put on a Charlie Chaplin film, and introduced you to his mother, Penny. It was unconventional, all over the place, and different from what you were expecting. However, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. The night was very Arthur, and it only made you fall harder. 

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

He has different types of laughs. Some fill you with absolute adoration and joy. Others fill you with sadness and pain. His attacks come when he’s feeling anxious, dissociative, or under-appreciated. His beautiful, real laugh comes out while watching Murray, joking around with one another, and when he plays practical jokes on you. You taught him a few pranks because you knew they would make him happy, and boy did they. Switching sugar for salt is funny, but only the first time.

H = hugs (do they like hugs?)

He LOVES hugs. He likes ‘goodbye, I’ll see you after work’ hugs. He adores ‘we just had a fight, and I’m really sorry’ hugs.  He fonds over ‘I missed you so much’ hugs. He feels lucky to get ‘it’s okay, I’m here for you’ hugs. But his favorite hugs are ‘there’s no reason, I just wanted to be near you’ hugs. Yeah. He loves hugs.

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?) Arthur doesn’t play an instrument. When he was a child, he never had the time or money to learn. As an adult, he thinks it’s too late to try and get into the hobby. He figures he probably wouldn’t be very good at it. You assure him though, if he wants to try, you’ll find a way to make it happen. He feels music deep within him, and you know he’d be a wonderful musician.

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You do. Nothing brings more happiness to Arthur’s life than you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you look at him. It’s all so overwhelming sometimes. Not many other things bring him to pure joy; Gotham hasn’t been kind to him. However, the city almost seems like Heaven when you’re around.

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

It depends. When Arthur is feeling confident, he can take charge and definitely get caught up in the moment. His first priority is pleasing you. Early on in the relationship, he was incredibly shy. He felt like he would break you, or scare you away if he touched you too much. He’s come a long way, but he still has days where all he can give are small, timid kisses. Either way, you love them. 

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

Arthur doesn’t mean to, but he’s pretty obsessive. As soon as he set his sights on you, he knew he had to be near you. It took him awhile to get the courage to actually talk to you, but he admired you from afar quite a bit. 

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

Again, Arthur loves every memory with you in it. His childhood memories weren’t exactly pleasant, and life before you was…difficult. He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life creating new memories with you.

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

His biggest pet peeve is unkind behavior. Sure, he hates when people are so mean to him. Especially when he’s only been kind to the people of Gotham. But no. Unkind behavior to himself was one thing, but unkind behavior to you? It made him livid. If someone was rude, said a snarky comment, or harassed you in any way, he would furiously write his feelings down in his journal. So much so that his therapist asked when his joke diary turned into a Y/N diary. He just blushed at that.

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

It’s always been Arthur’s dream to be a comedian. Well, except for that one brief moment when he was a child when he wanted to be a pirate. But he doesn’t talk about that. He knows just how cruel this world can be, and he wants to spread love and joy as much as he can. What better way than making people laugh?

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Arthur would be a…nervous parent. During the pregnancy, he would be constantly afraid that you or the baby would get hurt. Not to mention, he’s read stories about women dying during labor. 

It terrifies him to think of that. 

After you and the baby were safely home, he would always make sure you both were happy and healthy. He often wrote his worries down about parenting in his notebook. A few of them being: “What if my kid thinks im as weerd as other people do?” “My baby mite have some of the same mental illnesses as me. Maybe insomneea.” Arthur also knows how bad he is at spelling. What if his child needed help with their homework? Would he be smart enough to do so? Would his kid be embarrassed by him? These thoughts often plagued Arthur’s mind. He kept it to himself for now though; he didn’t want to worry you.

Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

Arthur doesn’t even know what’s real in the natural world around him. Or at the very least, he questions it quite a bit. He spends too much of his time trying to convince himself that you’re real; he hasn’t had time to think much about ghost or aliens. 

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Of course he is romantic. He gets discouraged by his gestures, and he wishes he could do more for you. He hopes every day that you’re not disappointed in him (you aren’t). He loves cooking you good meals, buying you flowers when he can, or taking an extra shift at HaHa’s in order to buy you a gift. He’s seriously considered selling his Charlie Chaplin movie collection to take you out to a fancy dinner. The only reason he hasn’t is because he knows you’d be upset if he did.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Is this even a question? YOU! When you’re smiling, Arthur’s smiling. The Murray show often makes him smile too, but he still loves you more. (You hope!)

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

He’s pretty clingy. Being apart from you for too long makes him anxious. You’re the one who grounds him and makes him think positively. Without you, all he’s got is himself and his thoughts. Both of which, can lead him down a spiraling path. He prefers to be with you at any hour he can; if he could spend all 24 hours with you, he would.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable?)

You love Arthur, but you hate how insecure he is. You’re patient because it makes sense, and you understand him. However, you wish more than anything that Arthur could see just how beautiful and amazing he is. You hate when he talks down about himself; after all, that’s the man you’re in love with. As for you, he likes everything about you. The only thing that irritates worry’s him at times is your need to make sure he’s okay. You’ve nearly fought people who are blatantly rude to him, and it upsets him to know that you could be hurt in the process. 

“I’m not worth it,” he’ll tell you. 

There’s that self-doubt again.

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

You don’t really take any videos; neither of you have the money to spend on a video camera. You do have a polaroid camera that you’ve kept with you, and you love taking pictures of Arthur. Pictures of his face are scattered around your apartment. Sometimes you’ll take pictures of yourself too and tape them where he can find them. It helps remind him that you’re real, and you love him.

W = wedding (what will the wedding be like?)

The wedding is small. Neither of you even expected to get married when you did. Arthur decided it was time to marry you, and so he asked. He saved up money for months to buy you a ring. The ring still wasn’t all that big, but you didn’t care one bit. It was beautiful to you. His speech was short and sweet, complete with nervous stutters and blushes. 

“I-I’m sorry I couldn’t buy you something better,” Arthur blushed, looking a little ashamed at the small ring he held in his hand. “But-but I wanted to marry you now. Or, I wanted to ask you. Shit! I didn’t- I didn’t ask you. Do- do you want to marry me?”

It was perfect. You both were so excited to marry one another that you couldn’t care less about the actual wedding process. That night, and way into the morning, you both surely had fun celebrating your love. 

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

The 1920′s silent film Treasure Island made him want to be a pirate when he was younger. He thought he would go on adventures, find treasure, and sail the open seas. As a kid, that looked like ultimate freedom. 

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, scent, word, anything)

Arthur hates bully’s. He also hates when you shrug after he asks you something important about yourself. For example, all the times he asks what’s wrong, or why you feel insecure, or if you think you’re beautiful, and you shrug? Yeah, he hates that. He knows you might just need some time, but he doesn’t like to see you upset.

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Arthur is a heavy sleeper when he can actually fall asleep. Because of his insomnia, he has a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. You often find yourself awake with him, keeping him company or stroking his hair until he’s tired again. When he does get a few hours in, you try to be as quiet as humanly possible so you don’t wake him up. Arthur loves falling asleep with you tucked into his side, or he into yours. He has to admit, he’s never slept more peacefully than with you by his side.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you have any hcs for Magnus taking ppl to pride for the first time? I kinda feel like he’d act as a guide for others, making sure everyone feels safe and happy during their first time. Like, I can picture him bringing daylighter Raphael out for the first time, showing Meliorn around (bc even though they’ve been around for a while, the Seelies don’t really do human stuff) and holding Alec’s hand while he looks around in amazement.

well surprise surprise this got very long. bet y’all never saw that coming

ok so i particularly love this ask because like, the idea of meliorn going to pride for the first time is a riot and i adore it

like seelie society has developed completely independently from mundane society in every way, hell, it existed before humans did. so there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that their culture even has the concepts of gender of sexuality, and believing that it would be the same as modern western ones is just straight up anachronistic tbh

so like personally i hc that seelie society has no gender (and therefore no concept of sexuality in the way that we see it), so the idea of pride- doesn't even make sense to them, cuz there's no concept of these identities, much less a history of oppression that would bring forward the need to celebrate their resistance like there currently is

so meliorn would want to go just to like, see what that's like and what's it all about. and the whole time they're just following Magnus around and like, taking notes. hm, interesting, what is this trans thing again? ah yes, people who dont think their personality matches the one mundanes believe would be brought by their genitals. hm. fascinating. and Magnus is just like, laughing loudly and it's the best pride he's ever been to, because he knows how ridiculous queerphobia and cishetnormativity are, but meliorn can make that so clear in their words in a way thats just, like, fantastic to hear, you know? and they dont even mean to, but it's great all the same

plus meliorn actually does feel good because a lot of people look at them and smile broadly or even wave, especially younger people who are just like, in awe of them and Magnus, who are so unapologetically gnc and indisputably beautiful, and looking at them is just like, inspiring, you know? and Meliorn has never felt this admired and appreciated and they dont even fully understand why, they're just walking around in their usual clothing and leaf makeup and everyone is just like, in love with them. and it's nice. they can tell there's an edge of sadness to the whole thing, like how their normal everyday existence seems to be so shocking and refreshing for these people, but mostly they feel good about it

later they bring their findings to the other seelies - you know, the ones who dont usually leave the realm and are way less familiar with mundane culture(s) than they are - and the others are like. shut up. there's no way this is real. the shape of their genital defines what wavelength they are supposed to find appealing? this makes no sense. and meliorn's like "idk what to tell u buddy i literally physically can't lie" and they're like surely this is an elaborate prank

but anyway it's fun and nice and they enjoy it greatly and ask Magnus a lot of questions, and Magnus loves going with them more than anyone else because its just so fun and the way this is completely unnatural to them feels refreshing - Magnus doesnt have to explain why he feels the way he feels, for once, but rather he has to explain why people dont get that, and thats a good change tbh

okay onto other ppl im sorry for this tangent djdndjdndk RAPHAEL YES. god i just. okay i love the mental image of Magnus taking Raphael to pride aaaaaaaa

like okay first of all so many layeRS to make this emotional, okay. the fact that he's now a daylighter and can enjoy being out in the sun, the fact that this is a bright costumed parade and it kinda reminds him of the día de los muertos parade and makes him feel at home, the fact that he gets to celebrate and meet other ace ppl - just, so many good things going on here dundidmdi

and Raphael was kinda unsure about going because 1- pride can get pretty sexual at times, and while he gets it and doesn't mind other people's business, he doesn't want to be hit on or participate in that; 2- big crowd makes senses go craycray and it can get very overwhelming and he's scared of overload, plus it's just not his scene in general with huge parties and such. but a part of him does want to go and he's torn, so of course Magnus is immediately like "oh dear, don't worry, i can take you, i'll make sure it's good" and Raphael is like okay

so Magnus takes him and it's :') nice, because as always he’s just so attentive. disclosure i’ve only ever been to the São Paulo pride so i’m gonna go with how it works in here but im assuming it’s not that different in like, other places. also São Paulo currently has the biggest pride parade in the world along with NYC so you know, i think it’s influential at the very least

anyway so he finds a section that’s led by ace pride groups, one that’s considerably small (in number of ppl) and spacious, and it’s. nice. very nice. magnus makes it a point to paint the ace pride colors on raphael’s face (we deserve raphael in makeup tbh) and raphael is all like “it’s fine, it’s not like i’ll want to draw a lot of attention” (like he isn’t wearing the ace flag colors already) and magnus is like hush, let me have this, i want my boy to have a good pride experience. so raphael lets him and hides his smile and lets him, and it’s. cute okay

also idk why but i have the mental image of raphael seeing some other latino guy with some sign like. “i’m not your fetish” or something of the sort, and kind of tearing up because his whole life he’s been seen as this kind of sexual fantasy that couldn’t not be about sex, much less not be interested in it, and he feels seen. and it’s nice, okay

and as promised it’s not too overwhelming in matters of like people, tactile issues and such (there’s little magnus can do about the noise other than spell raphael to decrease his sensitivity so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, which is not ideal because it makes communication a bit harder between them, but he does it anyway if raphael asks him to), and if raphael gets tired, they can always turn into a corner and take a portal back home and cuddle the post-crowd jitteriness away. so it’s a success. and raphael hugs magnus later and thanks him and says that it was so great, that he’s missed this, the energy and the colors and the sun, and he never thought he’d get to have it again, and he did thanks to magnus. and magnus hugs him back and tells him “anything for you, my boy,” and it’s the sweetest thing okay im emo

also okay this still falls under Raphael and Meliorn but the POLYCULE okay, or at least saiaphaeliorn. like sign me the fuck up for the 4 of them together at pride, meliorn and magnus helping make some cute pride-themed makeup on the other 3, just aaaaaaaaa. maia looking absolutely gorgeous with her face framed in the bright bi colors, maybe a sunny dress with the trans flag colors? just because i think she’d look so cute in like, a mostly white dress with baby pink and blue details, okay. simon just paints the pan flag on his cheek but it’s still vibrant and cute and it suits him. and ghhghghghg meliorn delicately painting raphael’s face with colorful glitter..... effervescent, okay. just beautiful

and they get to hold hands in public and laugh and crack jokes and simon loves the music and the festival and raphael smiles fondly at him and maia singing along (him and meliorn definitely don’t know what the fuck they’re singing, but it’s okay because they’re clearly happy and that makes the two of them happy too) and just duahsdiahdaiuha soft okay. also they all get to experience meliorn’s takes on the whole thing and it’s fantastic and as usual meliorn gets raphael to laugh until he almost cries, and simon smiles brightly at the sight and gives meliorn a peck for their efforts, and just aaaaaaaa

in short they’re SOFT and i’m SOFT. and look yes i know that usually parades esp big ones are super crowded (lord knows the SP pride parade is an experience) but if in SP with 5 million ppl parading i could find sections with less people where you had enough space to walk holding hands and hear each other and not be overwhelmed, then i’m sure they can too, especially with magic and powers at their disposal. so i’m going to have this

also like. as much fun as this is for magnus (and it definitely is, it’s very nice to get to enjoy to be himself openly, and to bring kids there for their first time, and you know), it’s also bittersweet because like. he was there at stonewall, he was there for the first pride, you know? and apart from the obvious part where he lost so many friends who were there, there’s just. the very bad memories of the riots, because as important as they are and as much as he obviously doesn’t regret them, riots are hard, they are the language of the oppressed. he’s had to magically protect people from being shot by the police, he’s had to withstand trial by the Clave for using magic to shield the people from the tear gas and risking being seen, he’s had to save a lot of lives and he’s failed at it sometimes, too (i’ll always hc that he’s the reason neither Marsha nor Sylvia died during the riots and you can pry that away from my cold, dead hands). and he’s also seen it be whitewashed and lose some of its resistance and meaning, he’s seen Sylvia be booed at a later march when she spoke against imprisonment, and he’s seen so much be lost

and in that sense going to pride with alec later on might be his favorite, because it’s not like, a first time where he’s trying to get everyone to have the most fun they can and shit, you know? plus alec loves watching more than he does participating, he feels way too exposed in the crowded streets with so many openings and whatnot. but watching from a rooftop, where he has the best view, can still hear the sounds and enjoy the colors and the beauty of it from a distance? that’s perfect for him, and it’s a different experience

and magnus sits by his side as they watch, hand in hand, and reminisces about everything that he’s experienced after so many years, all the changes he’s seen, how he feels pride but he also feels loss and he feels old, and he fears what happens if pride’s history is forgotten, you know? and alec listens to him, listens to his version of this story, playing with magnus’ fingers and just enjoying the sound of his voice and the sight. and it’s nice. alec is always super attentive and enjoys hearing him talk and magnus can get lost in his memories unapologetically, you know? and it’s good

but that’s later on, of course, when they’ve already attended plenty together. for alec’s first pride he probably wants it to be like, perfect, so much so that alec has to tell him to slow down again, because of course magnus wants alec to have The Full Pride Experience, but alec would rather soak it up slowly than participate in a lot of stuff, anyway. magnus paints the rainbow flag on his cheek (one of the only occasions alec lets magnus put glitter on him, then promptly complains for the next three months because i swear that stuff is still on my skin, magnus, the other day i found some on my shoes! and magnus laughs at his antics as always and alec is forced to laugh too and can’t even be mad) and they kind of stay more by the end, and alec is kind of smiling in disbelief to himself the whole time as he watches all the colors and the unapologetic way people express their pride, and magnus can’t stop looking at him and grinning, too. and they walk hand in hand and it’s cute

(later, magnus says, see, mundane culture isn’t so bad, is it? and alec looks at him with a way more serious look, full of joy and happiness, and says, no, it isn’t. and kisses him and thanks him for everything, and it’s sweet)

also I'm soft thinking about Magnus reminiscing about planning the first pride along with "his dear friend Brenda" to Alec and/or Raphael, them putting their arms around his shoulder as he tells them the softer stories, too, the good things they did

small bonus: Magnus plays 2 truths and a lie with Simon regarding his memories of past prides, and Simon gets it wrong every time and is all wide eyed by the end, which makes both Magnus and Raphael laugh :)

[rqs902]

.

yang chaowen is really a sensitive kid... man he brings out renyu's song's feels and then brings up ylq to relate to the lyrics bc he knows his friend isnt getting as much appreciation as himself. (this makes even more sense after ylq said he had been crying before ycw went onstage and ycw was comforting him... and then after ycw came off the stage, it was time for ylq to comfort him from crying TT) Their friendship is really something. But then ycw saying he just gets ripped for getting screentime for crying all the time ouch but i dont get the feeling that hes doing it for attention but maybe im becoming partly biased towards chaowen :) 

Lol the fact that they focus so much on xzx and how hes favored by gjm but feels like it's unfair to be treated uncomfortably by other trainees as a result... all i can say is, what do u expect, of course the other kids will be salty, their lives are on the line and theyre getting nothing close to the attention you are, so unfortunately u cant win everything :(

Lol I see why everyone on twitter is annoyed at gjm... Jackson is literally trying to say something meaningful and mentor-like to su er and gjm literally interrupts with his own opinion.... jackson is like unable to finish his thought. and then when Cheng xiao is actually trying to give ma haowen advice, gjm just goes WELL I DISAGREE, THIS IS RENYU'S FAULT and everyone's like wtffffff???? And then he starts saying people can help Xinhai with his terrible dance (ouch) but renyu didnt help haowen sing and Huang enyu MY CHILD just goes: but dancing and singing are different....... and I'm just smh.... gjm really shouldnt act like he knows everything when hes the only mentor with zero actual relevant experience :( Poor renyu literally looks like hes about to burst into tears, ma haowen looks so sorry and appalled renyu's getting yelled at and none of the other mentors seem to agree with gjm lol 

lets appreciate renyu’s song, its really good!!! 

Lol this whole mentor segment is a mess but man chaowen and renyu won a lotta votesss ayyy

I think xue en seeing hwh as a pro rapper shows him humbling himself, since hes technically a more seasoned and popular idol performer

Cheng xiao fangirling over xue en I mean SAME hahahahahahaha awwwwww yzx being soooo genuinely happy for xue en is the cutest!!! Aw cto friendship and xue en crying :’) actually one thing ive noticed i feel like yzx seems like a genuinely kind and cheerful friend, maybe people are bashing him bc he pushed off some leaderly responsibilities to lin mo in the last round but maybe hes just not someone to take on a strict leader role (looks at aj from afo...) and realized that since lin mo has such experience and is really good at it, it makes sense to respect his experience and skill and let him take on that role. of course its unfortunate that means lin mo worked extra for less recognition, but i think it seems like yzx really respected and admired him so im hopeful what happened wasnt due to mean intentions 

watching chen junhao feeling lost oh man :/ maybe he hadnt fully prepared himself for the idol life when first coming on this show. its unfortunate reality that in this kind of idol survival show, the focus is more on stage presence and face and performance, rather than the music itself. Hopefully he really feels that hes found a path forward through this performance. This is a really real way to present him but I'm sad theres not as much focus on li chenxu when this is hissss song

Man both the self composed songs are really good!! Mann them making this song a dance song is really hard to watch for li chenxu bc its makes it hard for him to shine at his own song which is sad :( also lzx's rap is questionable lol but cjh's vocal part in the middle part is so emotional, I hope he felt like he was able to express himself fully there

Lol does gjm not realize they didnt have a choice to not dance. Lollllll cheng xiao literally said they had too much to do and tried very hard but he didnt listen.

Aww jackson teaching them about team work :') o gosh I have PTSD about jin fan getting classified as a vocal now after uuu..... also not surprised the entire segment was about sxl and even the judging portion lol....

Oof Jin fan's voiceeee I love

Man why does Jin fan always get stuck in not dance songs ><

more appreciation for xu zhaohao vocals pls!!! imo sxl has a poor attitude :/ he doesnt perform calmly under pressure and isnt doing well at making a good atmosphere for practice

LOL why do i feel like lin mo is always saying "song" things hahahah hes really a kid

but mannn yan an just walking into the elevator is so oof

Aw duan xuyu is too nice... but I guess this is the leader in him coming out

Aw yan an immediately encouraging xikan when he lost the center to him

Lolll xikans little “heheh” when he won 

Mannnn ngl even tho yan an leaves the show, I kinda wish he had a bigger role in this perf bc it's literally like his jam.... chinese style influenced dance.... I wish he had at least 1 memorable dance move, like I feel like Luo Joe already had one in the last perf and he has one again here (and hes very talented and he deserves recognition!) but yan an has yet to really show anything and im scared hes gonna just disappear soon :/

They all did so well tho!!! Truly a group of dancers. Really made me want to rewatch the whole thing immediately. altho the beginning I cant unsee the lin mo meme LOL 

and xikan did really well!! His stage presence is real. And hes put effort into his facial expressions

Luo Joe being cute is iconic

Aw yan an cheering on lin mo when revealing his votes!!

Aw I'm surprised 100 ways kids didnt get more votes.... lol ngl i feel like this show is just randomly adding vote bonuses in for random reasons not prespecified for kids they like.... cough gjm yet again

but oo the next ep looks fun hahahha im excited for a happier ep thats not as stressful.

Ycw keeping it real 2020: "im not good at controlling emotions.... i hope if you want to cry or laugh do it loudly, dont care about what other people think"

ok so maybe im liking more new kids than i expected, but i think thats a good thing that the show is making them likable and some kids are able to stand out! honestly i realized I kinda can see why they eliminated so many to begin with. It's sad but also kinda nice tbh (ouch, i know) bc if they really got rid of the ones who have less skill, it makes it easier for the others who dont have to teach from zero (cough lin mo) And then those with skill get to have at least 3(?) stages, unlike qcyn where jin fan got eliminated after only doing 1 silly stage lol The skill level of the stages is also raised, like there's multiple groups of almost all people who are well qualified. im sure the kids are happy that they get to do more stages, im sure that means a lot to them. 

At least on snzm they attempt to give most trainees a positive light and give screentime to more than just the top 10 trainees. and they allow someee time for vocals, dancers and rappers to get appreciation (even tho dancers are still dominating lol)

but yea honestly I disliked the judging on pdc2019 too tho so at least the judges here can be supportive... at times. it is SUPER biased and gjm is very vocal despite his lack of knowledge tho lol 

it's so bad bc I feel like my standards for shows are so low at this point. my standards get lowered with every show I watch. It's like I guess the snzm songs are okay bc I hated the ones on afo more so at least the stages aren't thattt bad lol At least the rules/general setup aren't as terrible as they were on afo..... at least the camera time isnt as biased as it was on qcyn.... sigh the show isnt doing great, and itd be best if the show would help the tygers get more popular, but I guess its prob better than just doing nothing at star master lol. 

qcyn was just painful to watch from "spirit of the knight" onward bc momo literally was buried, mistreated, disrespected and taken advantage of. at least on snzm he gets some screentime and positive recognition.....

tbh i like snzm, maybe thats an unpopular opinion, but at least there have been some really great stages, where the kids really get to shine. at least i can confidently say that bc of snzm, i have met some new kids who i will be sure to follow for new music moving forward :) 

[kittyurl]

hi my name is ash . i made the first post for all this, and im so happy it grew the way it did. under the cut, i’ve got some info about leo, the cat of the zodiac spirits. give this post a like and i’ll slide in ur dms. (;

tw: neglect, death

backstory: 

lee taewoo was born to na mikyung and her husband lee sanghoon in 1996. due to birth complications, mikyung succumbed to internal bleeding just 18 hours later.

sanghoon, knowing he had a zodiac spirit for a son, immediately sought to push the responsibility onto someone else

taewoo bounced from aunts and uncles until he was around six, when his dojo instructor took a liking to him.

sanghoon relinquished all responsibility of taewoo to sensei donghyun, but insists on deciding his fate after he finishes school.

donghyun raised taewoo as his own, despite only being in his late teens. they arranged for taewoo to sleep in the dojo, and that remains his home to this day. 

no one knows he sleeps in a training room. 

at the age 12, taewoo’s natural grasp of the english language prompted him to adopt and carry the name leo. ( maybe he picked it because he loves titanic and romeo & juliet and leo dicaprio was his first b*y crush )

leo is also especially talented in martial arts, but this didn’t come natural. he puts as much effort into martial arts as he does his school work. perhaps he has an even deeper appreciation for martial arts.

donghyun catches onto this, knowing leo’s natural abilities in school. he becomes nervous that leo wants to drop out of high school and try to pursue martial arts professionally.

donghyun decides he must distance himself from his prodigy, leaving at 14 and promising to not return until leo graduates. 

without another choice, leo focuses on school to make his sensei proud.

he still trains on the side, hoping he can one day duel his way into the inner circle of the zodiac spirits. 

leo sees his biological father often but they have tarnished relationship

the only real source of love he has is donghyun, but even he chose to leave for a few years. 

leo holds out faith that his mother would have loved him, but he doesn’t share that with anyone

personality:

leo has a fiery temperament because hes so used to defending himself

underneath it all, he has the purest heart of all. he just wants to experience unconditional love for once in his life.

he holds his cards close to the chest but he does show a lot more affection to those who make an effort to get to know him

leo is bisexual, and he learned after participating in high school soccer ( poor dude )

excited to finally be a part of a team, he tried out and made the team. he was talented, but he quickly ran into a problem. 

during a private scrimmage, he embraced teammates after a scored goal

morphing into a cat, he realized this confirmed what he knew all along. 

memories were wiped and leo left the soccer team.

leo loves history and is choosing to get his phD.

he wants to prolong his schooling because he knows he’ll be locked up by his father once he’s graduated

he studies very diligently and enjoys his small collection of books.

leo is an aries so he’s full of passion, enjoys a good bit of attention from the people he likes, can be incredibly chaotic and an emotion bomb

he has a lot of energy and half the time he has no idea where to direct it

is probably doing 4 things at once rn

yes, he fights often

he is challenging you to a fight right now, step up pussy

fun facts: 

enjoys spending time with his kitty friends more than anyone knows. he acts like its irritating but he relates to cats. he admires that they’re feisty but they’re affectionate. 

might dye his hair in the future ? white cat anyone ??

hates rain 

loves high places

actually a lot more socially confident than he realizes ?? like holy shit he can be magnetic 

his ears turn red when he’s flustered

develops crushes easily but will NOT snitch on himself like that

clumsy ........... but makes it work for him

drinks coffee and tea religiously, interchangeably. 

would write books and own a dojo if he could choose his future

would.... also wanna have significant other because hes kind of a sap secretly.

“firsts” & connections:

first kiss

first crush

first friend

childhood playmate

first relationship ( ill take anything from awkward to angst )

past relationship(s)

first sexual encounter ( with whichever gender )

past sexual encounter(s)

first heartbreak

someone he can bicker with

an enemy

someone who’s like family

someone who wants to understand him

[albapuella]

How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Two)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday. Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 1:

Despite his slacker appearance (and life-style, to be honest), Dave was always punctual. He'd even made an effort to look the part of a guy going on a date with another guy: jeans with only a few holes at the knees, his favorite record shirt, and a red hoodie—all freshly cleaned. So freshly cleaned that the sweater was still very slightly damp. Well, whatever, it'd be fine. They were having dinner first, and that meant he'd have plenty of time for the thing to dry out before they went to the movies where the main thrust of Dave's doki-doki plan would commence.

Karkat arrived a few minutes later. He wasn't dressed to the nines, but it was at least to the sevens. It occurred to Dave, as he watched him approach, that he hadn't known how tall Karkat was. The answer was slightly shorter than Dave but with a more solid build. Stocky. Or maybe that was just the black sweater he was wearing. Then again, his legs looked pretty solid in the black pants he was wearing, too. Either way, he looked good.

Dave gave him an appreciative whistle which made Karkat's eyes narrow. Not the reaction he'd wanted. “Looking good, Karkat,” he said quickly, hoping to smooth over any feathers he might have inadvertently ruffled. “I'm digging the whole sexy college professor thing you've got going.”

“Uh, thanks,” Karkat said with evident disbelief. “You, uh, you look good, too.” He straightened up. “You said we were doing dinner first.”

“Yep.” Dave held out his arm. “I’m taking you to my favorite place. A lot of people think it’s wack, but I’m buying, so if you really don’t like it, at least it didn’t cost you anything.” When his date didn't immediately take his offered arm, he shook it invitingly. “It's not too far from here.”

Karkat looked from Dave's arm to Dave, suspicious. Then he sighed and laid his hand on Dave's arm, his hold tighter than Dave had expected it to be considering his earlier hesitation. “Okay. Fine. Sounds great. Let's go.”

---

The first thing Karkat noticed when he took Dave's arm was that his sleeve was damp. Then he noticed the feeling of the arm beneath his fingers. Despite looking thin enough to break, there was some muscle here. As they walked to what was apparently Dave’s favorite restaurant, Dave just kept talking. If Karkat had been offered a thousand dollars, he doubted he could have remembered any specific details of the inanity he'd been subjected to. A nervous talker. He'd have to put that down in his notes.

Dinner went much the same. Dave talked at him while Karkat sat there trying to eat his food (overpriced, faux Italian—of all the places Dave could have chosen, he'd picked a fucking Olive Garden? That was going in his notes, too.). In all honesty, Karkat tried not to pay too much attention to what was being said. First, he'd already determined that most of what came out of this man's mouth was completely meaningless nonsense, and second, if he actually listened to any of it, he'd be hard pressed not to respond to the idiocy. While Dave had no evident compunction about swearing, Karkat wanted to get through at least this first date without screaming.

All right, so that was an exaggeration. Some of what Dave said was actually pretty funny. In a hopelessly awkward sort of way. Karkat hated that Dave's clumsy compliments were making him blush. Clearly, the man had brain damage... which also explained the rapping that Dave kept doing (completely unprovoked!). By the time dinner was over, Karkat was only too grateful that their next destination meant that Dave would have to stop talking.

---

Since Dave had picked the restaurant, Karkat had picked the movie. Some romantic comedy chick flick Dave couldn't be bothered to remember the title of. Still, it gave him an opportunity to sit right tight next to Karkat and eat his weight in popped, buttery goodness, so he really couldn't complain.

“What’s the deal with that dude?” Dave whispered. “I thought he was already tight with that other chick. What gives? Is he cheating on her?”

Karkat made a noise like a cat being stepped on but softer. “Dave,” he whispered back, his tone full of the same sing-songy patient impatience that Rose would use when she thought Dave was being particularly dim, “if you were paying attention, you'd already know that that 'dude' is that 'other chick's' cousin. They are probably not romantically involved. I know you're from Texas, but that's not how it works above the Mason Dixon line.” Then he ducked his head and took a long drink from his soda. “Sorry. Just-just watch the movie and be quiet.”

Dave blinked. He'd been starting to think Karkat wasn't going to open up at all. At least, he'd had fuck all to say during dinner. Even if it had been an incest joke at his expense, it still was nice to hear Karkat say something. Something that wasn't just non-committal noises or unenthusiastic agreements. He leaned against Karkat's shoulder to whisper, “It's not true, you know. About Texas. We don't fuck our cousins; I mean, we do, but not first cousins. We're strictly second cousins only. It's a rule. Of course, none of my second cousins are as hot as you, so I'd be willing to make an exception. Just this once.”

This earned him a light elbowing to the gut and a low growl, but Karkat didn't push him off.

By the end of the movie, Dave had gotten five more elbows to the gut, three startled bursts of laughter, two creative insults (quickly joined by muttered apologies), and one “Will you please just let me watch this movie?” Over all, Dave felt like he'd succeeded in charming the hell out of this motherfucker, thank you very much.

They'd walked out into the open air, a nice breeze whisking away the smell of popcorn and sweat from the movie theater. “I had a lot of fun, Karkat. Thanks for coming on this date with me. Do you think we could do this again sometime?”

Karkat blinked at him, a clear look of surprise on his face. “Oh, uh, sure.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, I'd love to go on another date with you.”

Dave's heart leapt. “Awesome. You can hit me up on Pesterchum. Or I can hit you up. How about I hit you up?”

“Fine, that's... that's fine.” Karkat's smile seemed uneven. “I'll be looking forward to it.”

Although Dave was tempted to try for a kiss, he didn't think he ought to press his luck so far on the first date. Karkat had loosened up some while they'd been in the theater, but out here under the streetlight, he looked nervous again. The last thing Dave wanted to do was chase him away. “Okay then. I guess I'll see you later?”

A slow nod. “Yeah, later.” Karkat was stilted and contained again. Restricted, like a hermit crab stuck in a shell that was too tight. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. Dave had caught a few glimpses of the real Karkat tonight, and the sight made him hungry to see more.

Dave watched him walk away, admiring the view with a new goal in mind: he was going to get Karkat Vantas out of his shell if it was the last thing he did. Getting to rub him in Rose’s face at her wedding was only going to be a bonus.

---

* Never shuts up. Not even during movies. Especially during movies. Attention span of a gnat. From Texas. Doesn't know how to use a dryer. Finds me attractive. Probable brain damage. Funny. Charming. Obnoxious. Never takes off sunglasses. Olive Garden.

Karkat sighed and set down his pen. He'd tried his best to be as cordial as he knew how to be, and he still hadn't managed to last for the entire four hours without insulting his date. Multiple times. Oh well. At least Dave was apparently brain damaged enough to find rudeness terribly amusing (if the way he'd kept bugging Karkat during the movie had been any indication).

He'd been surprised when Dave had actually asked if they could go on another date. Karkat knew he hadn't made the best impression, and yet Dave wanted to spend more time with him? He looked over his notes, trying to ignore the surge of happiness that filled him at the thought. It didn't mean anything: Dave was clearly an idiot, and after a few more days, Karkat was going to start on the offensive. Whatever meager promise there would have been in this fledgling romance, it was still doomed from the start: like all of Karkat's relationships.

Day 2:

It was all Dave could do to wait until the next day to pester Karkat. He didn't want to come off as too eager, after all. Didn't want to put Karkat off. But Dave was only so strong.

TG: so i was thinking TG: if youre not busy TG: we could go to the park this afternoon TG: watch the grifters and maybe get robbed TG: or you could come to my place and hang TG: is it too soon to do that? TG: asking for a friend TG: this is dave by the way TG: i dont know how many people youre talking to TG: not that its any of my business TG: i wouldnt want you up in my grill asking me who im talking to CG: IT IS SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAY. TG: yea and youre up anyway CG: BECAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP. WITH YOUR TEXTS. THAT YOU SENT JUST NOW. TG: oh shit sorry CG: IT'S FINE. I NEEDED TO GET UP ANYWAY. CG: YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? WHY?

Dave frowned down at his phone. Was Karkat fishing for compliments or was he being serious?

TG: because its fun to hang out with you TG: thats how this works right? TG: i thought we could watch another movie TG: at my place TG: or your place i guess if that works better for you TG: ive got popcorn if that sweetens the deal at all CG: YES. BECAUSE THE WAY TO MY HEART IS MICROWAVED POPCORN. TG: fucking called it CG: … CG: FINE. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE PARK AT 2:30PM. IS THAT ACCEPTABLE? TG: perfect ill meet you by the giant yo CG: YOU MEAN THE OY/YO. TG: tomatoes tomotoes karkat

Dave watched the little “CG is typing” message run for almost a minute, feeling his nervousness grow. What had he said that required a novel length response? He managed to reign in the impulse to apologize preemptively, but it was a struggle.

CG: OKAY. WHATEVER. I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Fine, good then. Nothing was wrong.

TG: im looking forward to it TG: its not hard to intuit TG: when we come out to debut TG: sit by the yo then well go round TG: downtown get the lowdown TG: before we get busy in the hissie TG: partake of the fizzie cause we got a duty TG: to watch the fuck out of this movie CG: RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN. BYE.

Dave shrugged. He couldn't expect Karkat to really appreciate his off the cuff rhymes so soon after waking up, he supposed. Maybe they'd land better later. Flat reception or not, the important thing was he'd gotten Karkat to agree to come to his apartment. He looked around, frowning. Maybe he should clean up a little.

---

Jesus Fucking Christ. Karkat tossed his phone on the bedside table with a groan. It had been all that he could do not to curse out Dave like there would never be a tomorrow. Considering the fact that he was currently planning to go to the apartment of a practical stranger, that much might just be true for him. He lay in bed a little longer, out of spite mostly—he could never get back to sleep after being woken up—, before getting out from under the covers. First things first: notes.

* Inconsiderate asshole. Horrible rapper. Calls the OY/YO “the YO”. Doesn't know the right way to express “tomatoes, tomahtos”. Wants to spend time with me. Insane. We have that much in common.

Thanks to Dave's wake-up call, Karkat had plenty of time to eat a hearty breakfast and start his article.

“How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure” BY KARKAT VANTAS

Since you have decided to read this article, I will assume that you are looking to learn the art of ruining your relationships without the mess of all that trial and error. Maybe you enjoy breaking hearts. Maybe you are the kind of masochist who enjoys getting their heart broken but is at a loss as to how to properly sabotage your relationship yourself. If you can manage to follow these simple steps, you will be well on your way to the same bitter loneliness that usually only the most unlucky in love get the privilege to experience. 

The first step is the victim. For the purposes of this article, I picked one that is particularly obnoxious and brain dead. You may have different qualities you are looking for in a potential short-term partner. Ultimately, the most important thing to consider when you plan to lose a guy (or gal or enby) is that you make certain they are one you do not mind losing. That way you can start the process without any regrets.

The second step is the hook. Laugh at their dumb jokes; accept their stupid compliments; ignore their mangling of the English language (in my case, his horrible rapping); and generally be as agreeable as you can manage. A severe lack of intelligence in your short-term partner can be a boon here, though you will find most people are not immune to flattery. You need to make certain that you have your short-term partner well and truly interested in you before you attempt to lose them. If you try to lose them too soon, you will miss out on the full relationship ruining experience.

A little too informal, maybe, but a fine start. Depending on how well this afternoon went (assuming he wasn't murdered and stuffed in a closet), maybe Karkat would be able to start on step three. He was able to stomp down his nascent guilt with ease. After all, Dave wouldn't have been interested in him after the novelty wore off anyway.

---

The afternoon was a little warmer than the evening had been, but Dave still wore his hoodie. It felt lucky, and it was still clean. More the latter than the former, but the point stood! He sat down on the bench next to the giant yellow YO installation and waited. While it was tempting to shoot a message to Karkat, he decided against it. He’d be seeing him in less than ten minutes, and he didn’t want him to think he was clingy. Which he wasn’t. Totally not. Dave Strider had never clung his whole life. Ask anyone. Except Jade. Don’t ask her. 

He noticed his leg was bouncing and put a stop to that noise. He was a cool operator. He had this thing on lock. The date yesterday had gone good, right? Karkat wouldn’t have agreed to see him again if he’d had a terrible time. He pushed back his hood and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing to worry about. He’d have a date for Rose’s wedding and continue sorting out the mystery that was Karkat Vantas.

Dave heard the crunch of gravel and looked over to see Karkat approaching. Another sweater combo, but gray this time. The guy had a style he preferred, clearly. It was fine: he looked great. He stood and closed the distance between them. “Hey, Karkat.”

“Hey,” Karkat returned, frowning. Of course, that seemed to be his default expression. “I brought a movie to watch,” he said gruffly. 

Although Dave had been hoping he’d be able to pick the movie this time, he wasn’t too cut up about it. It might be a little early in the relationship to bring out The Room anyway. He wouldn’t know. “Sounds great. My place isn’t too far from here.” He held his arm out. “Shall we?”

Again, Karkat regarded his arm with suspicion. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

Karkat opened his mouth before seeming to think better of whatever he’d planned to say. “Never mind.” He took Dave’s arm. “Let’s get going.”

As they walked to his apartment, Dave tried to keep the conversation flowing, but Karkat’s subdued responses quickly killed his enthusiasm. “I feel like I’m talking too much,” he said finally. 

Karkat mumbled something which sounded suspiciously like “You think?” before he shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m just a little too tired to, uh, participate, that’s all.”

Dave winced at the reminder of his first faux pas of the day. “No problem, dude. I got us covered. I got words for days.”

“Months even,” Karkat added before ducking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

Nudging Karkat’s side, Dave laughed. “Nah, man it’s true. I’ve got words for fucking years.”

Karkat smiled slightly. “Decades.”

“Centuries.”

“Eons”

“Until the next motherfucking epoch, I’ve got words, Karkat. So many words. All the words even.”

Karkat snorted, covering his face with his free hand. “Damn it, Dave. Stop making yourself likeable.”

“I think that’s the point of this whole thing,” Dave pointed out reasonably. “Dating, I mean. It’s not like the old days where your dad and my dad decide if you’re worth enough chickens to trade me for, you know. These days I get to decide for myself how many chickens I want to be traded for.” He gave Karkat a mock critical eye. “How about it, Karkat? How many chickens could I get for you?”

“I don’t know,” Karkat said, his mock serious tone almost too close to a serious tone for Dave’s comfort. “Let me look in my pocket.” He made a show of staring down at the pocket containing his free hand before sliding the hand out and flipping Dave the bird. “Is this enough for you?”

Dave laughed. “I’m sorry, Karkat. You must have at least five chickens to ride this ride.” He felt his face flush but pushed onward. “I guess you’ll have to settle for a movie, and maybe some pizza.”

Karkat was grinning, and Dave decided right then and there that he wanted to keep seeing it. “Maybe next time.” As though to intentionally spite him, Karkat frowned again. “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, man, just a little further.” As they continued their journey to his apartment, Dave felt himself frown. What was Karkat’s deal? He was a lot more fun when he let himself be himself. Dave didn’t like meanness for meanness sake, but he enjoyed a good joke. For some reason, Karkat seemed to think he shouldn’t joke around? Why? His frown deepened. Karkat also apologized a lot. And he was so often deferential even when it was obvious he had OPINIONS he wasn’t sharing. The pieces were adding up to a disturbing picture. 

Maybe after he was done hanging out with Karkat today, he should hit up Rose. She’d know what to do.

---

Karkat’s expectations for Dave’s apartment had been fairly low, and he’d been pleasantly surprised. While not as meticulous as his own apartment, there at least weren’t empty food containers on every surface or dirty clothes everywhere. There was an overall shabbiness though: the feeling that the occupant didn’t care overly much about the apartment’s upkeep. The futon in front of the television was ancient and threadbare as were the carpets. The posters hung on the walls were dusty and faded, and there was a sort of mildewy smell. Still, as previously mentioned it was clean (more or less), and there were no obvious signs of a hidden murder dungeon (not that there would be if there were one, naturally). 

“Nice place,” he said for politeness’ sake. 

Dave beamed like a little boy who’d gotten just what he’d wanted for Christmas. “Thanks. It’s not much, but it keeps the rain off.” He gestured towards the futon. “Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got apple juice. And water from the tap, I guess. I could go pick up some beer if you want to go that route, or--”

Karkat held up his hand, hoping to stem the tide of suggestions. “Water’s fine, thank you.”

“You’ve got it,” Dave said before tilting his head and making twin awkward gestures with both hands involving his pointer fingers. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

It wasn’t until after he’d disappeared into, presumably, the kitchen that Karkat realized he’d been making finger guns. What a dork. Not that Karkat was any more suave, but he liked to think he was at least less childish. He tried to supplant the rush of fondness he felt by recalling just how pissed he’d been with this manchild this morning. It was not one hundred percent successful.

Dave returned with two glasses: water for Karkat, and apple juice for himself. “Take a seat,” he insisted as he set the glasses on the coffee table (sans coasters). “It won’t bite.”

Gingerly, Karkat took a seat on the ancient futon. The padding was so thin, he could feel the bars beneath. It was going to take a while to become unbearable, and he hoped this hang out? date? didn’t last long enough for that to happen. Just as he’d been about to reach for the water, suddenly uncertain whether he actually ought to drink anything Dave gave him, Dave flopped down onto the futon beside him like a sack of gangly flour. “Dave!”

“S’up?” Dave asked, grinning. 

“Don’t ‘s’up’ me--,” Karkat managed to stop himself from calling Dave an asshole, but only just. “Just don’t ‘s’up’ me. Speak like a normal person.” He realized he was making a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “Sorry, I--”

“Dude,” Dave said, his grin dropping away, “Karkat, you don’t have to apologise for every kind of mean thing you say. I’m a big boy: I can take it.” 

Karkat supposed he shouldn’t be surprised: he’d never been good at pretending to be a good person. If he could have managed that feat for any length of time, he wouldn’t be in this position. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as dryly as he could. 

“I’m serious.” Dave sat up and turned to face Karkat head on, and Karkat saw his own annoyed expression mirrored in the black lenses. “I haven’t known you very long, and maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but--”

“You’re right,” Karkat interrupted, feeling his tenuous hold on his temper slipping. “You shouldn’t say anything.” After taking a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to say anything he didn’t mean to, he spoke again. “Let’s just watch the movie and eat some microwaved popcorn. Does that sound like something we could do? Or would you like to keep pretending you have some deep insights into my character as though we’ve known each other longer than three days?”

Dave raised his hands, and Karkat realized he’d sounded far more aggressive than the situation warranted. At this rate, he wouldn’t even get a chance to lose this asshole! Nice job, Vantas: stellar work. “No, you’re right. I’ll step off.” Dave said softly. He got off of the futon with far more grace than he’d flopped onto it with. “You just put the movie in, and I’ll, uh, I’ll make the popcorn.”

Karkat watched him go before putting his head in his hands. Well, fuck. As though this whole situation hadn’t been awkward before. He should just leave. Just leave, forget about his stupid article, and stop dragging this stupidly likeable idiot down with him. He should. 

He stayed where he was. 

---

Dave took maybe longer than he absolutely needed to to prepare the popcorn. As much as he liked to consider himself a smooth operator, he could tell when he’d made a mistake, and he wanted to give the guy in the other room a chance to cool down. What made it made it worse was that Karkat had been right to get mad at him: Dave barely knew him. In his place, Dave would probably be pissed, too. 

Even so, Dave didn’t think he was wrong about the conclusions he’d come to. It was obvious that Karkat was, for whatever reason, putting on a show for Dave’s sake. Honestly, it was kind of creepy. If he understood why Karkat felt the need to do that, he’d feel better about it.

But it wasn’t his business. Not yet. Maybe you had to reach a certain level on the boyfriend echeladder before that kind of thing was something you talked about. It would probably help if they were actually boyfriends and not just newly dating, too. There seemed to be at least one obvious solution to that problem.

Dave could be patient. After all, he still had eleven days or so to get Karkat to at least like him enough to be his plus one at Rose’s wedding. It wasn’t all he wanted anymore, but it'd be enough to start with. As Rose had so often told him, start with small goals. 

He poured an obscene amount of butter over the popcorn in the bowl and headed out to the living room. Karkat was bent over, fiddling with the DVD player, and when he looked up at Dave, his mouth was curved somewhat upwards. “What movie do you have for us?”

Karkat stood. “Coming to America.” He made his way back to the futon and sat down as though worried he might fall through if he sat down too quickly. “It’s more comedy than romantic, so I thought you might enjoy it more.”

That sounded vaguely familiar. “Okay.” Dave joined him on the futon, taking care not to startle him this time. “Let’s get this party started.”

---

Karkat had hoped bringing a comedy would hold Dave’s attention enough to keep him from talking through the whole thing. He’d been mistaken. Yes, a lot of what Dave said was funny, but it just never fucking stopped. Finally, Karkat couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. Then he very deliberately set the remote back down. “I want you to listen to me, Dave. Are you listening?”

Dave looked confused, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’m listening. Do you have something you want to tell me? I’m all ears. Lay it on me.”

God, he couldn’t even listen without rambling! “Would it kill you to shut up?” He saw Dave’s eyebrows peek over the tops of his glasses. A part of him told him to reconsider his current course of action, but naturally, Karkat could never abide by a piece of good advice. “Would it literally cause you to drop dead if you couldn’t expel your idiocy out of your mouth like a goddamned septic pipe full of half-formed metaphors and bullshit? Would your head explode? Can we try that experiment and see what happens?” Karkat felt his fingernails biting into his palms and realized he’d clenched his fists. “What do you say, Dave? Wait, I’ve changed my mind: don’t say anything. Let me bask in the gentle ethereal glow of silence for a moment. Can you do that for me, Dave? Can you let me bask? Will the endless flow of words finally cease?”

‘No’ was clearly the answer to that question since Dave was already opening his mouth. Then, to Karkat’s utter shock, he shut it again. His expression wasn’t ever easy to read with those douche shades he insisted on wearing all the time, but now it was completely closed off. Even the eyebrows had lowered back to their original position.

Silence stretched between them. 

Karkat felt sick to his stomach. Shit. Shit. He really just couldn’t do it, could he? Couldn’t pretend even for a few hours that he was a normal person. Well, so much for this experiment. Time to write off this little adventure. Was it worth even trying to apologise? Before he could decide, Dave made the decision for him. 

He was clapping. “Damn, just got owned,” he said, a wide grin splitting his face. “You owned me, Karkat. You should feel proud. Not everyone gets own this,” he gestured to himself. “I just hope you know what you’re getting into: I’m barely house trained.”

For an embarrassingly high number of seconds, all Karkat could do was blink. “You’re not mad?”

“Fuck no,” Dave said, still grinning. “I’m a big kid now. I’ve graduated from diapers all the way to pull ups. It takes more than a finely crafted, well-deserved take down to take me down.” The grin softened. “This is what I was trying to say before: I want to date you, not some weird super agreeable version of you. If you want to tell me off for talking too much, fucking go for it. You’ve got a way with insults--it’s a gift. Frankly, I’m insulted you’ve been keeping it to yourself.”

“There’s more where that comes from, asshole,” Karkat said before he could stop himself. To his amazement, Dave still seemed more amused than anything. A strange mixture of anger and fondness welled up inside him. “Stop grinning at me, and watch the fucking movie.” He picked up the remote and hesitated. “You don’t have to be silent,” he said, still feeling a little guilty over his earlier outburst, “just maybe less talking?”

Dave made a big show of running a zipper over his lips. Then he immediately ruined it by saying, “Scouts honor, Karkat. My word is bond. You can cash that shit at the bank.”

Karkat tried to picture Dave as a boy scout and failed. “Right.” He pressed play and the movie resumed. Of course, Dave still talked during the movie, but the sheer volume of words had slowed to a moderate stream rather than the full-bore blasting Karkat had been subjected to earlier. As he sat there on the futon, occasionally answering Dave’s stupid comments with barbs of his own, he felt warm in a way that was only nominally connected to the temperature of the arm he was leaning against. He felt… content.

---

Overall, Operation Hang Out had been a big success. It had been rocky in places, but again, overall, Dave felt like he’d hit his major mission objectives. A movie was watched, pizza was consumed, and Karkat finally, finally, did something other than apologise every time a hint of the person he’d met at the cafe had come through. He didn’t necessarily want to keep pissing Karkat off, but that bitch fit he’d thrown had been epic. 

Karkat wasn’t the kind of guy Dave had expected to find himself interested in. At least, he’d never thought he’d have a grumpy asshole kink. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the more quiet parts of Karkat’s visit, too. It had felt nice to sit on the futon with someone leaning against his shoulder. Dave wasn’t a sap, no, not a suave guy like him, but he couldn’t deny he’d like to do it again some time. 

He considered texting Rose as he’d planned to earlier before deciding not to. After all, he’d managed the first crisis all on his own, and she might consider it cheating if he got her help. No, for now at least, this bird was flying solo.

---

* Clean apartment. Finger guns. Puts too much butter on popcorn. Also talks during movies outside theater setting. Likes getting insulted. Kink?  Wants to date the “real” me. Delusional. Comfortable arm. Had a nice time. Had acceptable time. Clothes in his shower??? 

[magicalusuki]

progen dragon sharing, inspired by a post by @goannafr that ive had in my drafts since may 12th of this year! wow i am good at being late

varsha- custom progen

so the colors i chose for varsha.... well, i didnt choose them. which is fully. i was in school in the middle of a movie in health class, and id snuck onto my phone and made an fr account because the registration window was about to close and i was going to be busy the rest of the time it was open, or maybe i was just too impatient.

i didnt realize you could even change the colors of the dragon- i just chose the breed and my flight (wind), and actually moved to ice almost immediately after because wind was such an impulse decision. 

i actually hated her colors once i realized that i could have picked them myself, because i would have probably made a seafoam/rose dragon. but now i love her. it might have been cool if she at least had a different blue for the wings, so if i could remake her (and assume she got the same tert) i would give her storm wings. it brings out that gray tert in a really cool way and just makes her a biiit more interesting. i mean, look at that! it look great with her apparel, too.

i chose to make her a fae, because i though that they were cute. i didnt like any of the other starter breeds when i joined because i was a coward. i wanted the cutesiest dragons ever, which is funny considering now varsha is super badass

i had like... the vaguest clue of what fr was, because i was in the neopets community and a ton of the blogs i followed were into it, but i didnt really understand it in depth. fun fact! my original username was twinkling. 

exaltation

so when i first joined fr, from what i remember we had... very few tert options. i believe we had basic, crackle, underbelly and circuit? and with varsha’s tert being grey, and yukienne’s being denim... basically nothing looked even slightly decent.

on top of this, i really wasnt in the forums or community much at all- so i wasnt aware that maybe exalting your progens wasnt a great plan, and how special they can be. and i certainly wasnt thinking about future genes. i mean, its been 5 years and STILL the best tert for varsha is stained and i dont particularly love any i have for yukienne!  ive grown to like stained on varsha, but for real. even irishim couldnt save that grey tert, and i used to be OBSESSED with irishim

.im not against geneing yukienne fully and i have a few options planned, but denim is not.... its not an easy color to work with, which sucks because sky and violet work together so well, and then you have this random greenish-grayish blue. why. which is why he is not gened at all because oh my god. please fr give me something that makes denim purpley ill die for you

this is his current most likely scry but im still... not sold... at least sky is one of my favorite colors on site! hes still a pretty lucky random progen all things considered, i know some people were truly cursed. they also have a pretty okay range, so thats nice! i brought these guys back as quick as possible and was so excited i got the option so do so.

lore and clan roles

in the end, exaltation gave my progens a lot of character- although i was so upset about having done it for literal years, lol. my clan lore felt super weak up until bringing them back.

varsha is clan leader, but im undecided about yukiennes role- all i know is that he did essentially abandon varsha in exaltation and didnt actually fight to earn his right back to this plane, and she resents him for that. i can imagine they did talk initially about him rising up the politcal ladder rather than being involved in the war itself, and i imagine initially he was actually quite gentle and perhaps a bit skittish- she had more pity for him then, and understood he wouldnt fare as well. maybe she even thought it would help his confidence. but seeing him live a bejeweled life as she fought endlessly.... well, thats just not great. on top of it, he sees himself as responsible for their return, not acknowledging varshas efforts, and he does this despite the fact that there was no evidence of it.  so yukienne likely doesnt do much in the clan, and i imagine varshas bodyguard- nevara- keeps an eye on him until or if varsha decides hes trustworthy to help. in the end, he doesnt especially want to do things for the clan anyways- he doesnt feel the dedication that varsha does, and though varsha doesnt realize it hes worn himself. hes tired of lies and a political lifestyle, and i dont imagine hes as confident as he might come off- its likely more a force of habit, and in saying it was because of him they got home, he just more than anything wants validation that his suffering was just as painful and he worked just as hard as varsha. but she really cant see that. in her eyes, hes still sitting on a pedestal, lying and spoiled rotten. even if now hes just lost and tired more than anything else.

varsha obviously is very strong willed and stubborn, and sometimes has difficulty empathizing with others- particularly those she perceives as having caused her harm. shes not especially friendly, and a bit paranoid. still she cares a lot about others, particularly her clan members who she views as her responsibility, and so she pushes away her own feelings best she can. shes more prone to trust those from wind than from any other flight, and is working on her distrust of those from ice. 

she has a close bond to nevara due to her wind heritage and time spend together on the battlefield, and trusts her deeply. she also deeply trusts aer, the very dragon that first found her and yukienne, and the only from the clan at the time that did not know of her exaltation until it was too late. she appreciates the effort on her behalf to keep the clan in order and understands aer was also very hurt by what her clan members had done, and is glad to have someone from that time who had missed her. 

varsha also finds amaryllis sort of cute and charming.the wind heritage probably helps yet again in this case, but even beyond that, she appreciates someone so unfit for the role trying their very hardest to play leader to keep their clan together in her absence. she sees her somewhat like a little sibling, despite not having a large gap in age.

since mako worked so close to both amyrllis and aer during her absence, she was one of the first ice flight members in their clan that she warmed to. with her optimistic and free spirited attitude, and the fact that shes still willing to work in a political position (unlike amaryllis, who was happy to retire) she helps to balance out varshas negative views of people and also is very useful in giving intel and helping create strong bonds between their clan and others, since varsha... would probably never do so on her own, but does see the necessity.

yukienne, at this point, lives a fairly solitary lifestyle. being rejected by the person he admires most as well as feeling he betrayed and failed her, he sees himself unworthy of deeper relationships. at the same time, he is stubborn and unwilling to discuss and feels he doesnt deserve sympathy or to explain his side. all interactions and relationships he has are shallow. at the very least, he is genuinely very proud of his appearance, so thats probably the one thing he has actual confidence in.

[simkjrs]

Hi. I usually dont comment on fics bc as you said it is extremely difficult to find the right words (especially when its not your first language and have severe social anxiety) but after seeing the shit you have to deal with im gonna leave a lil review fic. Tbh your fics are the best fucking fics i ever read, for real, like infinity/10. I love how you give importance to how the event that happen have their psychological consecuences bc THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS and most people ignore that (1/?)

And that shows the effort you put into the fics, and thats not even mentioning the god tier writing cos, dude, when i started reading your fics i wouldnt stop till i finish them and spent god knows how many hours daydreaming about what could possibly happen next and excitedly waiting for next chapter if it comes. Tho it seems some people forget that fic writers don't owe shit to the ones who consume their work. You are doing this for free and could easily choose to not share your work (2/?)

But you do, which is great, but that also means that if anything we should be THANKING you for bestowing these blessing upon us. And if people dont like the works or are not for them then they are free to leave and look for things that suits more their tastes but doesn't give the fucking right to leave shit on the fics they didnt like. I really love your works and im happy when you update whenever you can. You should enjoy to do what you do, and that means you shouldn't be preassured at all (3/?

And this whole thing should really be enjoyable for everyone. I'd like to think writers write bc they WANT TO and readers read bc the also want to, so it really should be what its meant to be, a nice symbiotic relationship with no need for any kind of toxic behaviour in the interactions. So i'd really like to thank you for your work, its great and you are awesome and seem to be a great person and I admire you lots, I love readiing all your tags in which you appreciate the little details in (4/?)

other people's works and it makes me SCREECH in glee and happiness when I see your own fanart for your fics bc 'oh my gowd ITS OFFICIAL ART!!!! And also, bless the angst, really, it gives life and feeling to the stories and makes the happy moments and improvements of the characters situations a hella lot sweeter -im a sucker for angst with happy/ish endings-. And its fucking awesome how you focus on the development of the characters & their bonds & stories instead of just sexual attractions (5/?

And I love how we can connect and sympathise with your izukus regardless of their personalities and how you make him flawed, people arent perfect and as much as izuku is an incredibly selfless and beautiful person he isnt the epitome of all things good and right and can also fall in toxic behaviours towards his self and it also shows how trauma and abuse left their mark on him instead of just acting as if none of it happened. In byggualom I liked how izuku and bakugou could actually hang out 6/?

and maybe even have a good time but THAT DOES NOT MEAN everything is fine and dandy, which gets shown quite explicitly. They COULD potentially and eventually have a nice frienship/healthy rivalry but they BOTH have to get over a lot of stuff (izuku already has had a rocky but eventually good start there), their relationship as it is now and as it was was/is too unbalanced to be anything but unhealthy. And you can see both sides of the story and each their espectators different perspectives (7/?)

Its also nice to see a change from the 'uraraka and deku immediately liked each other and became best friends' trope and how even with their not quite great star they have been able to reach and understanding and maybe a bit of mutual respect. There are no words to describe the blessing that mitoki is, truly, he deserves that big toblerone and should share it with hatsume and shinsou. Speaking of which, I loved how it seemed that Shinsou was going to get adopted into their weird but adorable 8/?

dynamics before the angst rollercoaster decided to fall of the cliff hanger into the pit of dispair and suffering. And dont even get me started on msa. I adore izuku's sarcastic little shit's self and how much effort he puts to being as unhelpful and uncooperative as humanly and spiritually possible even tho he'll end up helping anyway bc he cant just do nothing even if he'll complain about it to everyone involved. And kirishima is so pure, bless that boy, he is just trying to do his best (9/?)

hey this is such a long and in depth review and you are so kind to me!!! thank you for your concerns, im sorry if i made it sound like bad comments were a bigger problem than they really are, they just get me down occasionally. i’m happy to share the stuff i write as long as there are people who enjoy it. and im really overwhelmed by how much detail youve put into these asks!!! i dont know if you finished saying everything you wanted to say but this alone has really helped lift my mood. 

i put a lot of time and effort into thinking about characterization so im really happy to hear that you liked the way i wrote so many of the characters... ;_; i feel so acknowledged and validated right now. im sorry i dont have enough to say to write as long a response as you wrote a review but really, thank you so much for the long review. it means a lot to me.

[studioixiv]

BTS x Classical Music AU behind story

I love classical music and I love bts, so I thought why not? It all started when it suddenly crosses my mind how Namjoon would be such an amazing conductor. He would still be really clumsy though, but he’s someone whom every member of the orchestra would respect and follow without hesitation, and it all flowed from there.  link to my au: here

Namjoon

‘Looks intimidating but is the nice senior’ 

He was really intimidating when I first saw him. I was like ‘ wow? he looks kind of scary?’ But as I get to know him, he’s very adorable and soft ( and incredibly clumsy please be safe namjoon ). I respect him a lot as a leader. He always think about the other members deeply and support them from behind while also leading them from the front. The way he carries the burden of a leader is admirable. The color bangtan has now is because of Namjoon. Makes the perfect sense why he is the conductor.

Jin

‘‘Flautist, 1st Chair 

Now I dont think I need to explain why he has his own fanclub. Why he is the school’s face. Why he is scouted by modeling agency. We all know Jin is handsome and he has this star quality too. I emphasize how he buys his junior meals because he’s just that kind of person. As the eldest, he didn’t make it hard for the other members to be with him. He’s playful with them, always caring and taking care of them, and he makes all of them comfortable. Which is why I think every member feels comfortable joking around with him, while also respects him a lot. As to why I chose flute, its because I always have this impression that flute is a very elegant musical instrument. It has a soothing and beautiful sound. Perfect description of Jin’s vocal. Also, he’s first chair, people. He’s great at this.

Yoongi

‘Has a cold image but an actual softie’

Yes, Im tired of the Yoongi is cold, he’s lazy, he’s only happy around this or that member trope. He’s not. He takes care of the members in his own way. He cares for all of them in his own way. Its why even though he stays in his own studio, he’ll help the orchestra ( and being a piano accompanist at Jin’s test ) when necessary. I want to say that through this au. He maybe a bit lethargic, but isnt he so incredibly passionate when it comes to music? He works so hard on his music all day long. He even works hard on dancing even when he initially didn’t sign up to be an idol. Piano for yoongi is not only because he really does play piano, but also because piano is considered the mother of all musical instruments. Its the mother, the core, the embodiment of his passion towards music. 

Hoseok

‘perfect pitch’

Now. Hoseok is the golden hyung for a reason. He’s talented, he’s amazing, he’s pretty yes. He’s good at everything! As a dance leader, he helps the others learn and he’s very serious while doing it. I tried to portray that image, which is why I wrote how he’s that fun person to have around but also very strict and he took his work seriously. He also won some junior concours, a reminder that he’s pretty famous even before debut! He hangs out with Yoongi and Namjoon at Yoongi’s studio obviously participating on their composing session and bonding ofc. We all appreciate dance king Jung Hoseok, but isnt he also great at making them killer melodies and rapping? He’s part of the incredible bts’ rapline. As to why viola, again, I have no scientific reason. I just feel like it suits him so well. Viola is also used for voicing the inner voice in a symphony. 

Jimin

‘Stays until late after rehearsal‘

I provide no explanation as to why I write him as cute as possible because he is. That aside, I think he would be that one student who ask and ask a lot of questions. Its because he has this strong drive to learn and improve. I know he has the talent, but more than that, the amount of effort and work he put in is the most impressive and attractive lets be real about him. Plus, everyone dotes on him because they know how hard he worked. Well, that and he’s an angel. As to why I picked cello, there are some reasons. First is how violoncello means small large violin. Very Jimin-like. Next, I always have this impression on how cello is a very complex instrument. The sound cello produces is very beautiful and heavenly. Plus, its a string instrument. The same family as viola, but both has different sound and their own strengths. Get what Im trying to say? 

Tae

‘Unique and Distinctive Technique‘

I know I put tutored by Namjoon there, but I dont think its because he’s bad at music theory in general. I think Tae would just be bad at expressing his thoughts in the way that other people ( and his professors ) expects him to. He has his own way of understanding them, and Namjoon is making sure to push him to the right direction. He has a unique way of seeing things, unique way of thinking and expressing, unique voice, just so very unique? In a very positive way, of course. Trumpets has this bright and energetic image that I connected with Tae’s personality. It also has a very loud, rich tone that can be heard over long distances ( well in this case, I associated heard over a long distance as in touching a lot of people). Just like Tae’s voice.

Jungkook

‘1st year main percussionist’

He is a very talented kid. No doubt about that. He’s bangtan’s main vocal for a reason and wow he gets them exposure. But lets not forget that its also comes with a huge burden and responsibility, which is why he also works so hard. The past years, I got struck the most with how more expressive and at ease with his emotions he is now. Back then, I didnt pay him much attention ( im sorry dont kill me ). I thought he was just this playful kid who always messed with his hyungs. But as time passes, I get to see the nice, caring, empathetic boy, and the boy who probably feels too much. I tried to express that in this au as how he always helps others around him because thats just how he is. And percussion might look easy, but its very hard to master. It takes a lot of time and dedication and most of the time there’s only one percussionist in one performance. A position of great responsibility. 

Thanks for reading this long tedious post! Bless you!

[arebelnow]

excuse the rather shitty graphic, i churned it out before class. i wanted to do something with an octopus ( because i’m that guy ), but i got kicked in the shin by schoolwork and neglected to find one i could work with. my bad, my bad.

but! the important thing isn’t my budget image, it’s the fact that i’ve had bodhi for over a month now and i swear, i’m in love with this fandom. from rogue one players to originals to prequels to the animations: you guys are amazing. i haven’t been this excited for a fandom in a long time. i don’t know if star wars just attracts the kinna writers i click with and admire or what but you guys are 👌👌👌👌👌. however, i wanted to use this mushy-gushy holiday to be sappy and show a little appreciation to the people who have really made this blog something i cherish.

THE DOKIDOKI SQUAD

i wish i could write my undying love for everyone i adore, but i doubt i could do that a) before class and b) within the average human lifespan. so these are the folks that i either talk to a lot ooc, write a lot with, or just make me really, really happy by just existing. you’re the friends that send me things, talk to me about nonsense, get real with me, and are just an all around treat. even if i don’t know you very well ( yet ) you are have made bodhi an experience i won’t ever forget and our talks that have me drabbling about this shadow-jumper pilot on the back of my homework. 

like, i just---- *blows kiss @ u* 

@bretttal  + all your baes - YO!!!!! we’ve been friends/saltmates/prosebros for how long now? two years now? but like, it also feels like forever, like that kind of kinship you got with someone who just weaves in seamlessly with your life and mind like damn, son. the fact that we can be so dank levels of emo and crack at the same time with each other but then get so brutally honest and real the very next sentence. we don’t shy from anything and we express ourselves openly but respect when the other wants to be quiet with details. and the fact that our passions overlap: linguistics, culture, politics, and the various aspects of humanity. like, to have someone that i can talk about those things with, who is as passionate about strengths and tragedies of the human mind is such a sacred thing to me. like, to say the ideas we come up with for our muses ( especially now with bodhi in the picture ) are controversial to the mainstream mind is an understatement, i don’t know how many others would dare to tread where you and i go. so, i am so fortunate to have you as a friend and ally, especially with the world the way it is. because ( at the risk of sounding like a ball of cheese ) you, my dear friend, are the kinna soul that gives me hope, the kinna person i know i can trust with the future.

you also cry about rogue one and horror movies and xenomorphs with me. a lot. bless u.

@leadkiss + all your baes - okay, okay, i know. we haven’t interacted on this blog yet but idgaf, you’re a pillar wherever i go. we have so much history, the relationships and plots we craft together make dark souls look like a putt-putt game. we are lovecraftian horrors, we make the tragedies of old look like child’s play and the darkest of apocalypses feel like sunshine. and don’t know many people i can be brave, to be honest and open about real life, and certainly i don’t know many people i’m on the same wavelength with. and i know, our approaches and situations often clash...a lot  *heart hands*  i wouldn’t trade it for the world. your words are precious to me, whether written or spoken. so idk when we’ll write with each other on our current blogs, i do hope soon but until then, i’m more than happy to just gush at each other in skype about our baes past and present and, lbr, future.

@seijoki + all your baes - *gently gritos in admiration* no but seriously, we met like three years ago. and even we barely talked ooc, you had such a major impact on my muse. and then when jasper happened, you were literally a central part of his character???? you are so precious and such a bae like i can’t even with words to describe how awesome you are. and your characters are just as meaningful and your portrayal of them is so truehearted, i’m blown away. you just have a way with your muses that others, myself included, can’t help but be a little shook like, damn. *waves hands* like, we’ve gone through such an extra af journey together. from felix’s murder-aunt to the unfortunate sister of goggles mcfirehazard and moon moon the carebear. and you as a person are such a masterpiece. i envy your ability to remain patient and noble in situations with people that would have me making strangle-y hands. your such a good, tori, and like, i hope you know that. 

plus, the fear of owls. you get it.

@catchthatregenerator - *toddler clapping* dude!!! you play a villain and don’t pull punches, i fucking love it. you get more and more unapologetic about how much of delightful garbage can adam is and i could just yasssss~ about it all day. you don’t woobie your boy, and you don’t try to excuse his behavior. you embrace and recognize who and what he is and are a responsible antagonist-player. bless u so much, man. as someone who used to play villains, i admire and love what you do. and also your writing, whether it was about adam or not, is amazing??? you’re so honest about your analysis and you don’t throw around fancy world and scripple with purple crayon everywhere for the sake of  “quality”. you just write. your voice is strong, you don’t need falsify your prose with grandeur and it’s such a hallelujah, mang. it makes writing with you so refreshing and just *blows a kiss* you’re such a treat and i’m a lucky sucker for having you in my life. no joke. also, you as a person....idek how you manage to be so sweet and warm??? wtf??? how you can be so kind and gentle but still stand your ground is beyond me. you’re a brave soul, in both your personality and writing and i just have become a meme when it comes to you i swear. you are such a treat and i always look forward to your adam and any muse you pursue.

@sergeantstardust / @scavengered  / @halfworldborn  / @lightlived  /  @scarificed ( and your other blogs ) - so i don’t know each of your very well yet. i’ve only just met each of you but you guys are those blogs i halt my dash browsing for to read whatever the heck you just posted. like, it doesn’t matter what stage of writing we’re at: whether we’ve done a few replies, just barely started, or are still plotting --- i have so much respect and adoration for what you guys can do. the care and effort you put into your characters and prose, the thought behind each word and action, there’s never a dull moment and i’m always excited to see you guys on my dash ( or when you talk to me, like sorry i nerd out whenever i get an IM ding from y’all ngl and nerd out even more when we plot or i read a reply to our thread ). 

BAES

section for all the folks that make me *hearteyes* because you guys are filled with such talent. you all have such fascinating and unique versions of your muse and your prose is always on point and i’m so jazzed to be mutuals with you whether we’ve had a chance to write together or not.

@thcenemy ( @blindhim ) / @rogueandcr / @rebelsacrifice / @fcrcepilot / @cxptainandor / @pilotcorellian / @awakenedrey / @ginatcnic / @strongwilledsoul / @imqetuous / @fulcrumm ( @sospes ) / @rcbelborn / @lastorgana / @aldcraanian / @hotshotflyboy / @rebelcassn / @stardusttoash / @stardusttings / @xaedificare / @aftcrshocks / @libertinedeath / @bridgrs / @jvnstcrdust / @rebelcourage   / @pilotlng / @likemyfatherbeforeme / @galaxyslasthope / @rebellioncaptain / @arepure / @amcureux / @binarywake / @camewithguns / @helluvapilot / @vilibertatis / @captcassiansandors / @scioncfel / @snipisms / @jaigvision / @eireniic

SMOL SHOUTOUT

just a small little section just to give some recognition and love to my fellow bodhi players who i’m mutuals with because you two have a 👌👌👌👌 taste in muses and i appreciate you for exploring the dude with the body of man and the soul of chihuahua and making him your own.

@imthxpilot & @rogue-one-aviator

[vitalmindandbody]

Mamadou Sakho: ‘Whatever they say or do, they cannot replace what they took away from me’

In an exclusive interview, the Liverpool defender who is on loan at Crystal Palace, talks for the first time about his devastation at missing out on Euro 2016, what he did during his ban and his future

For Mamadou Sakho, there is no satisfaction to be had in vindication. He has known for over a year he had done nothing wrong, and that the fat burner containing higenamine, for which he tested positive after helping Liverpool to Europa League progress beyond Manchester United, was not included on the World Anti-Doping Agencys prohibited list. Uefa had admitted as much last July before, in the first section of a 104-page dossier released this week by its control, ethics and disciplinary body, the blame game over the players ban degenerated into petty finger-pointing between the governing body and Wada.

The real victim, the man who had been denied involvement in a cup final and a place in the host nations squad at Euro 2016, can only watch as the bickering shames the authorities. I worked so hard to prepare myself for the European Championship, to help my country, to wear the France shirt in a tournament on home soil, says Sakho. Now Ill never do that. Whatever they say or do, they cannot replace what they took away from me. My lawyer can see what happens next but, for me, I focus on other things. I have learned in life you should never look back over your shoulder, wondering what might have been. That is the past. Always look forward, at the next challenge. Its life. Good and bad things happen, but my mentality is always to try and find a positive. It is the only way to be and, today, I am really happy.

The last 13 months have tested that admirable mindset but, while his circumstances have shifted dramatically, Sakho is not one for changing. He is sitting in a backroom at The Hoxton, a hotel in east Londons trendy Shoreditch, a Crystal Palace loanee whose impact at Selhurst Park has helped wrest five wins from seven matches to ease Sam Allardyces team away from the condemned. A player more used to competing at the top end of a division has been a colossus a leader and organiser, a warrior and inspiration delivering everything Palace hoped he might. He has already achieved cult status among his adopted supporters, just as he had back at his parent club. On Sunday at Anfield, where he will be ineligible, he will watch on from the stands with both teams potentially, if privately, wishing they had him to plug the Sakho-shaped holes in their respective defences.

He admits to finding that scenario awkward, as if uncertain where his loyalties should lie, but it is just the latest twist to an unconventional year. Some of his setbacks have been self-inflicted perceived tardiness on Liverpools pre-season tour of the United States, for which he apologised and was fined, helped fracture his relationship with Jrgen Klopp but it was that routine drug test and the assessment of his urine sample undertaken at a Wada-accredited laboratory in Cologne which had nudged his career on its unexpected course. Sakho has never denied taking the product which contained higenamine and, after liaising with Liverpool, voluntarily made himself unavailable once Wada flagged up the positive test. Uefa would ban him for 30 days pending its own investigations, inquiries which ultimately saw it query whether higenamine should even be considered a prohibited beta2-agonist.

The centre-halfs last appearance for Liverpool had been as a goalscorer in a 4-0 victory over Everton. Less than a week earlier he had scored his sides equaliser in that staggering Europa League quarter-final comeback over Borussia Dortmund. Sitting out what followed fuelled frustration and anger, born of a feeling of helplessness.

But for me, the hardest moment was when I saw my Mum, my sister, my brother, my wife in tears they didnt understand the situation, says Sakho. That was difficult, seeing them upset. They were devastated, but I was there trying to explain to them I had done nothing wrong, and that everything would be alright. It would all be fixed. I was actually quite calm, quite peaceful, and just trying to reassure them. It was a time for me to be strong, and those who are close to me had faith. We knew that, eventually, I would be proved right.

Crystal Palace won their first four games with Mamadou Sakho in the team, including the victory at Stamford Bridge over Chelsea. Photograph: PPAUK/REX/Shutterstock

He would be, but not before he had sat out the Europa League final, where Sevilla eventually overran Liverpool, and been overlooked for Frances squad for the summers championships. Missing out on a home tournament, whose showpiece would be staged just across the Parisian pripherique from where he grew up in Goutte dOr, was cruel. Uefas disciplinary body would absolve him of any fault just 48 hours before the final. I knew the ban meant I could not be picked, so I spoke with the manager Didier Deschamps and promised I would come to Frances first game, and to their last game too, and that I hoped that would be the final. It was. I visited the team hotel in Paris the day before the final to show my support. My ambition is still to play for my country at the World Cup in 2018, and regain my place.

During that whole period I spent time with my family, and with my charity [AMSAK] in Senegal and Ivory Coast. I know I have been lucky in my life and can give something back. We visited an orphanage, a school for deaf and dumb children, and a juvenile jail, speaking to the kids there, giving them advice because everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing is to learn, to share knowledge. Doing that does feel like a release, a chance to put out a positive message and show that everyone can do something to help in his own way. I am lucky I can use my status in a positive way and give something back. You have to help people find a better level, always. The world can be better as a result.

Life at Liverpool was always a game of catch-up after the suspension, with the issues over the summer confirming the team had moved on. An August switch never materialised and he went into the final hours of the January transfer window uncertain where his future lay. Palace, 19th and defensively fragile, won at Bournemouth on the night of the deadline with Allardyce unsure whether he would end the game having secured Sakho or the Everton striker Arouna Kon as his second top-flight loanee. There were frantic post-match telephone calls conducted by the chairman, Steve Parish, and the manager in a corridor at the Vitality stadium as the clock ticked down, with Sakho waiting in the clubs office up in Soho. It was only after midnight that the Premier League ratified the defenders arrival on a five-month deal.

Id only heard good things about the manager, and his being here helped make my decision easier, says Sakho. I spoke with [the Rubin Kazan midfielder] Yann MVila, who had worked with him at Sunderland last season, and he spoke so highly of the coach. He knows what he is doing, a top manager. Then there were people like Yohan Cabaye and Christian Benteke who told me this was a good team, a good club, and reassured me the move would work for everyone. Then there was the chairman. When he spoke to me on the telephone, he sold me his club. The passion with which he spoke about Palace it really touched me. He transmitted that emotion to me in the telephone call. Hes a man of his word. He made me want to fight for his club.

Look, it was still a big challenge, and a very different kind of challenge. But Im so glad I did it. I get a kick out of being out on the pitch, playing football again. I am playing in front of big crowds, fans who appreciate my style of play. Ten months is a long time, but theres no secret to hitting the ground running. No magic formula. I never stopped training and working really hard at Liverpool, over the summer and Im proud of the effort I put in. It is paying off. It comes from my parents. They came to France 30 years ago from Senegal and it was so hard for them. They had to fight for everything, and they transferred this mentality to me. It is in my football, and it comes from the upbringing my parents gave me.

Mamadou Sakho visited the France team during Euro 2016 to give them support and hope to represent his country at next years World Cup. Photograph: Dave Winter/Icon Sport via Getty Images

His seven matches to date have yielded 16 points, four clean sheets, a win at Chelsea, a first home success over Arsenal since 1979 and, most surreal of all, a celebratory jig of appreciation on the pitch from Sasa Curcic. Allardyce and Palace would be eager to retain his services if they retain their Premier League status, even with his asking price spiralling closer to 30m with each eye-catching display. But you know, to talk about my future now is almost… goste. Yes, selfish. It is not the time. My only goal is the mission I have accepted at Crystal Palace, and Im trying to help them succeed in what they need to do. Im part of a team, and its the team that matters. Not my future. Not my contract. Not what happens next.

Its all about seeing Palace safe, and were not there yet. If I wear the Liverpool shirt again I will gladly. I have three more years of contract there. But if I have to stay at Palace, I would do that gladly too. Im happy, I feel good here. Im also someone who is ambitious, so I will let my agent deal with that in the summer and well see where we are. If my future proves to be somewhere else well, so be it. Ill leave everything on my mothers prayers.

Sunday will be strange. I will be there with the Palace squad but, for this game, Im in an awkward position. I have a foot in each camp. I still belong to Liverpool, a great team with a great manager, a club I really appreciate. I had this great relationship with the Liverpool fans and the players. But I now have that same relationship with Palace and their fans. The team as well. Everything has gone so well in the last few months maybe this should be a case of may the best team win.

Liverpool will always mean something to Sakho, as was demonstrated by his recent post on Instagram on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster. But, today, I am with Crystal Palace, he adds, and we need those three points.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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