#and im rlly rlly annoyed with a few ppl rn im so bothered but im not someone who is just rude as hell to ppl | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

serowotonin · 4 years ago

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˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO”

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again.

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology??

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

#sakusa x reader #hq #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/hcs

87 notes · View notes

vaalinors · 7 years ago

Text

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E A T M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

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