“the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating”
--love wasn't necessary to be a stoneheart, and so he buried it deep beneath facade's. so far below that he couldn't recognise the signs of love even when they were staring right at him.
--warnings - gn!reader, angst no comfort(?), some fluff, unknowingly pining??, maybe ooc, wc - 1.8k
--a/n: i think im allergic to making him happy :/ anyway i feel like this is kind of rushed but rrghhh (shouts to the amazing @mitsvriii and @theother-victoria for proofreading)
aventurine never loved.
the stoneheart never knew the embrace of a loved one, soft-spoken genuine words, or even what it was to even recognise the signs. love was a foreign concept. something that wasn't needed in the world of contracts and lies, it was something that could be used against you, to punish someone foolish enough to think with their heart and not their brain.
he didn't need it anyway. in some distant past of golden sands and gleaming smiles, love was common. childlike wonder and affection was exchanged between families and those considered family, but that didn't last long. scorching flames rained down upon them, loved ones buried beneath the serene sands and forgotten.
the love made it hard to let go. traumatic to watch as every single person the boy cared for succumbed to pain and death's cold embrace, his tears did nothing. they didn't convince those that started the massacre to stop, to spare even one shred of the boy's livelihood because they didn't have love. the massacre was only a means to an end - emotional attachments were insignificant.
the scars never healed, the sights were forever engraved into the young avgins mind. the only time he could really dwell on them however was in the rare moments of silence he had. from his life as a young avgin to his life as a stoneheart, at every step and every turn something happened to him.
for someone blessed with luck, it never felt like it. they say that the end justifies the end, but he would prefer the end never arrived if he had to go through all the suffering and misfortune to get there. it was as if his luck only worked if he went through mental turmoil and struggle beforehand.
no matter what he lost, it all turned out for him in the long run. but was losing everything he had worth the luck that allowed him to live on with those memories?
---✩
you'd met through mutual acquaintances, those who weren't as afraid to let people into their lives - namely topaz.
he'd caught a glimpse of you with topaz as he roamed the halls of one of the IPC’s main buildings. naturally he was intrigued. aventurine had never seen you before and, judging from how close you and topaz were acting, you must have been of some importance to her.
topaz was approached by her colleague after you'd bid farewell a while ago. she had no obligation to actually tell him who you were, topaz liked maintaining a good work - life balance and you were a part of her personal life, aventurine was mainly a part of her work life. however, she obliged anyway, she trusted him more than the other stonehearts.
it was a short explanation, you were simply a friend of hers that she'd asked to stop by because work was piling up lately and topaz couldn't have seen you otherwise. topaz could see aventurines interest from a mile away, uncharacteristic coming from him, but she knew that he would play it off as a passing intrigue - still out of character in her opinion.
but topaz wasn't as blind as aventurine insisted he was and so perhaps she deliberately tried to ask you to visit her just before she knew aventurine was going to be around. she wasted no time in subtly introducing the two of you properly, before anyone knew it, you and aventurine proved to be an unrivaled match.
it was almost shocking how quickly you worked your way into the stonehearts life. developing a closer relationship than with anyone else aventurine knew - even topaz was shocked. soon it was like aventurine had known you since before he adopted such an identity.
you gave him a warmth that he could only dream of now. one that a previous form knew of well but now, it was a foreign concept. he couldn't recognise the signs, see what everyone else saw when you two were around each other. your constant affection was a clear sign that you were friends, but eventually somewhere along the line, that friendship blossomed into a longing for something more.
you tried subtle advances, hints and such to suggest a genuine interest in aventurine as something more. everything you laid down, he didn't pick up - if he did, he didn't show it.
however, aventurine was blind. a fool when it came to looking emotions in the face, unable to see the signs and pushing anything that bubbled to the surface as far down as possible. aventurine didn't need anything other than acquaintances or business partners - friends were a wild exception but even he sometimes denied it mentally.
everyone that knew it well enough knew, it was glaringly obvious. even to veritas as he watched the stoneheart perk up at the notification his phone showed him. undoubtedly a message from you, basing the assumption on how quickly he responded or how he smiled like a dumbstruck fool.
about half an hour ago, aventurine barged into the doctor's office and slumping down in his chair. ratio didn't care, too used to it by this point and too focused on the current problem that plagued his mind and caused him to work tirelessly to solve.
it was about ten minutes ago that aventurine resigned to his phone after ratio's lack of interaction with him - he sighed as the doctor clearly saw more interest in his equations. now, he was messaging you.
“any developments” ratio’s voice snapped aventurines head up from his phone, looking quizzically to the doctor
he paused “what do you mean?” slowly setting his phone down
now it was ratio's time to sigh “you and your obvious infatuation” pointing toward the stonehearts phone
“what? no.” a nervous laugh escaped him “acquaintances, that's all we are. you're thinking too much into this doctor”
to ratio, aventurine was clearly in denial. dismissing the situation at any given time and so he went back to his equation - it was more entertaining than fighting with aventurine’s denial.
“fine, forget i asked” ratio began to shift his entire attention away from the gambler. aventurine stared at the doctor for a bit too long
he could sense the other man's gaze and so ratio merely sighed “let me offer you some advice gambler”
aventurine almost wanted to laugh, veritas ratio offering him emotional advice. a rather comical situation in his opinion
“you have to put your heart out there, it may be broken but that's how you know you have one” ratio’s words halted him, staring almost wide eyed as the doctor retreated
maybe he should've taken that advice.
---✩
when aventurine was first assigned his mission for penacony, he immediately told you. there were no specific details involved, just that he was going away for a bit due to work and so wouldn't be around. it wasn't entirely uncommon for him to do so, and you merely acknowledged it and wished him well, a safe return even.
unfortunately, aventurine hadn't told you a key detail. he never planned to return. guilt consumed him when he didn't tell you, hearing you wish him well really set it in, but this was a choice he made. one that he was determined to not go back on.
as soon as opal gave him the whole mission brief, he knew what had to be done. accepting the mission meant accepting his fate, both him and opal were very aware. neither of them stopped aventurine however.
but aventurine didn't know how you'd react. he could guess that it wouldn't be well, seeing as barely anyone would react well to someone they cared about telling them that they planned to never return after a mission. so aventurine withheld his real intent in order to save you the trouble.
aventurine didn't want a fussy send off. admittedly the way he planned to go would be anything but quite or lowkey, but he knew that you'd try and stop him. to convince him to change his mind and find an alternative that would involve him seeing another day.
but you didn't know.
aventurine reciprocated your genuine smile when you wished him well before he finally left for penacony. that would be the last time he saw that smile.
---✩
penacony was flashy, he expected no less from the planet of festivities. bright lights, billboards, unique food on every corner and varieties of people. they would all be the witnesses to his planned spectacle, the more the merrier in his opinion.
he couldn't miss the way that his eyes lingered for a beat more than they should on certain stores. the products inside temporarily making his thoughts drift back to you, making a mental reminder to himself to buy it for you later but reminding himself that it would be pointless - although his subconscious would make him buy it and immediately sent it to you.
even in the chaos that was penacony and it's guests, you still found a way to wind up in his thoughts - bringing his thoughts about the mission to a temporary halt and having a moment of respite. brief memories flashing in his mind that made him stop and smile, the sentimentality getting to him.
but it wouldn't change his mind.
aventurine never allowed his emotions to get in the way of work. you wouldn't make an exception. he stopped caring for his own life ages ago, time and time again it was beaten into him and it was the only way he could've gotten this far.
emotions had never done anything but hurt him, caused him more pain than worth. he was no longer kakavasha. he was aventurine, one of the ten stonehearts and they valued results, not petty feelings. no business deal worked out when you let your heart get in the way.
no plan worked when every minute he was thinking about what could've been. aventurine was being dumb, you wouldn't love him. all those signals were simply you being a friend, nothing more - and he should be happy that you even saw him as such. aventurine shouldn't be wishing for more.
a heavy sigh escaped him as he snapped out of his thoughts. the lights at clock studios theme park seemed brighter, tauntingly so, as of they were out to mock him with happiness that could've been and yet he still chose the darkness of death. tucking his hand behind him, shaking, he stepped heavy steps toward the stage.
the show must go on.
---✩
it was cold.
pitch black endlessness illuminated by the symbol of nihilty’s form.
he looked down at his hands, shaking more than ever and he wasn't even putting his life on the line, then he looked up.
kakavasha.
had he died? were these the final moments of aventurine?
he'd soon learn they weren't. and as that emanator walked away, he realized that he lived. he failed. and yet, was it really a failure if he could see you one more time?
maybe, just maybe, he could finally own up to his feelings.
rest of the "series"
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes
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Hey its paul anon again (thanks for the name 🫡) sorry ive been bombarding you with questions but I absolutely love this au and i love everyone to bits
So, can you go into more detail about darry and paul . Like, as much info abt them as you can throw at me those two are my boys . Like how did they officially get together , how did Paul go abt moving in and whats that situation like .
Also, when Paul is like kicked out and cut off from the family, does he end up just,, losing everything? I mean like, did his parents even let him get his belongings or did all he have was the clothes on his body and trauma. I would imagine his parents had control over his bank account too so they like shut that down too so he’s out here broke as fuck JHSJSHSJ sorry im just yapping
Anon never apologizes for asking I'm so open to answering them bc I love this au and I adore that so many people like it too. Parry fans are eating good bc the writers love Cursed!Parry just as much. I'll answer your questions ab them before I yap.
To be totally honest, those two did not ever really make it official. Doing that requires two things they lack; emotional openness and no internalized homophobia. They both told themselves for the longest time that it wasn't a relationship... even after they started saying "I love you" in Latin and Fae respectively (Paul knows Latin bc spells, Darry knows Fae for obvious reasons), or when each other realized managed to figure out WHAT the other was saying,, or when they started sharing a bed and waking up intertwined,,, or when they started using far too affectionate pet names,,, or when things became far too intimate for it to be casual. They never actually make it official, one day they just slip into calling each other their boyfriends. The most official it ever got was when they flat out went "Oh yeah, we're dating" to the gang.
The gang was making bets on that, by the way. Pony said weeks, Soda said a month, Steve said two, Two-Bit said a year. Ace got it right down to the date and time, nobody knows how she did it.
They have no anniversary because they have no fucking idea when they really "got together".
Paul never truly moved in either, he kinda just went from crashing there whenever his car wasn't an option, to taking up the couch almost every night, to sleeping in Darry's room, and eventually, it was just an unspoken thing that he was officially a member of the household.
They have to kick him out for the day whenever the social worker comes to check on things, cause Darry can NOT take the risk of some kind of bad outcome to his mere existence.
OK MORE GENERAL PARRY
- Being with Paul reminds Darry that he's only 20 and still allowed to be something other than "the adult" sometimes. That brings a whole KIND of happiness that he can't describe. Dude's tail is fucked up due to physical trauma but that bitch wags so fast with Paul.
- Darry on the other hand just generally grounds Paul. He's so used to the way of life that was on the west side that everything going on there is overwhelming sometimes.
- They're very bad with vocal I love you's in English but they will say that shit ALL the time in different languages or through their actions.
- Uh after Paul got jumped and had his letterman jacket stolen, Darry gave him an old denim jacket of his own bc Paul hated having his arms out in the open.
- Pony audibly gags every time they're lovey-dovey. He's not homophobic unless you're Paul and Darry.
- They'd shotgun cigarettes when they were younger (and the only reason they don't anymore is the account of Darry wanting to keep the fact that he smokes every rare occurrence on the down low)
- Darry's purring has healing properties like a cat's purr (all of the brothers' have it actually) so this mf will just drag Paul down to cuddle and purr.
- They are.. so down bad for each other. Darry does anything and Paul swoons, and they've def had an interaction that goes something like this:
Paul, knowing Darry cant lie: "How do you feel about me right now?"
Darry, immediately: "I'd marry you if I could."
Paul & Darry:
As for being kicked out, Paul's parents quite literally just. Booted him, barely a warning. One minute he's arguing back for the first time since their keeping up appearances at the police event, and the next he's being dragged by the arm and shoved out of the house with threats of being killed if he dares to show his face back there. Just like that, all of it's pretty much gone; save for the clothes on his back and whatever he'd been carrying-- which was really only his car keys and his wallet.
He was sleeping in his car for a bit until Two and Pony vaguely got on his ass because Darry's calls were going to voicemail and he was stupid enough to let it slip that he wasn't living at home anymore.
Pony, being Pony, snitched. Can't have shit with that little gremlin around- so after finding his dumbass after having had the equivalent of an aneurism over suddenly being ghosted by Paul, Darry extended the offer for Paul to stay with them. He doesn't mind it being a permanent solution, but Paul is.. less fond for a few reasons; so he tries not to impose much while he looks for work. (He does eventually get something sorted out, so yippie! Helps with the bills what a guy)
FORGOT TO ADD. He sneaks home at one point to try and get some of his shit because he knows where the spare key is, but gets cold feet at the door because he genuinely doesn't know if his dad will keep up with that threat.
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NOELLE FALLEN ANGEL
-SNOWGRAVE CONCEPT-
Okay this is a lil old but tryna use tumblr more and I used a fair amount of my brain for this concept, since I really like the idea of snowgrave making noelle a crazy powerful boss from Kris' influence kinda pushing her too far. any way I wanna break down my thought process a lil (even if a bit messy) so if you wanna hear me yap (warning, im really not the best at formulating words outside my head) read on. if not...mood board I made at bottom
TW// BLOOD, SHEDDING IN MOOD BOARD- might make people uncomfortable
The main things I wanted to show in this design was the angel look and Christmas theme, all while pushing a more sad, hollow and evil look as i feel the juxtapose to "happy Christmas vibes" would make for a more tragic kind of feeling (with what we know of Noelle's character so far).
getting the Christmas look was the fun easy part, I knew for a fact i wanted her silhouette to look like a Christmas tree. maybe because subconsciously a pine tree shape and look quite powerful or be kinda spooky. Much like a Christmas tree I wanted to implement the decorative aspect, tinsel, and baubles, but also got inspired by those paper snowflakes id make as a kid. the tinsel I put around the trim, and treated the baubles like reindeer harness Christmas bells, the snowflake like a lace trim but also draped like a head piece around the antlers (this is actually shed reindeer velvet) naturally angels and Christmas go hand in hand but i wanted to push the elegant look...and put a halo on her, like a decoration at the top of the tree framed by her antlers. oh and another thing being the star shape on her torso? i wanted another strong shape within the tree silhouette to draw focus a bit more (especially with the red...but ill talk color in a bit).
a great segway to that actually is the ice/snow aspects, the reason i wanted this is ice naturally is another thing that can be both pretty and dreadful. for the design I like the idea of the more she uses her powers the more she gets covered in frost (im a sucker for character corruption) . i wanted to have the antlers go from cute to dangerous, I drew them as velvet shed antlers first, but also wanted to keep a little of her past on her design, so adding the ice shape in a way to allow the red of the antlers to show the old shape worked well by me. some more ice/snow i added was around her hoofs, hands and muzzle. the hooves frost shaping to be like a high heel shoe much like how reindeers have white fur close to the base of their hooves too. her hands fully frosted over not only because of main power direction source but to kind of look like elegant gloves. the frost on her face was mainly to add variety to her face while considering reindeer fur coloration, it also helped frame her red nose which helps draw focus to her face a bit more. general color summery, i wanted colors that contrast and give a feeling of cold and bad. but also red for Christmas yippee how fun!
last thing I guess is the pose. with this i had my silhouette first but realized I could do a sort of angel opening arms. which is naturally a welcoming and caring gesture, but in the context of the design kinda makes the vibe more creepy which....of course that worked for what i wanted to go for so i did that
but uuuh yea, that's my thought process with it...there was probably more but I didn't write down stuff in the moment of making it. here is a very minimal moodboard.
again
TW// BLOOD, SHEDDING IN MOOD BOARD- might make people uncomfortable:
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