#and im low key hoping stuff like this helps me get over the issues im having with the present chapter of cs

[safyresky]

Hello, it me!

I'm dropping in to DEMAND CONTENT!!

Put the Content In the bag!!

I've come here requesting Diteline stuff! Specifically bed sharing/sleep habits. Domestic ass married Diteline stuff!

I've had such ideas pin balling around in my head for my own terrible gays (that I hope to post about at some point) and then I remembered that you have your own far less terrible gays!

Just tiny little bed sharing things and sleep habits have been on my MIND. Was hoping you could fuel the fire here 😈

Funny you should mention content lmao, I've been feeling the last little while that I have been VERY quiet and have had the need to POST CONTENT, BUT HAVE HAD NO CONTENT!! I WILL HAPPILY FUEL THIS FIRE BC I DO HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT IN PARTICULAR!!

Not a lot, BUT SOME

Mkay. So. Diteline sleep habits!!

Idk if gods NEED sleep?? It's either way in most mythologies, if it's specified (and if you're Hypnos god OF sleep lol). I think Dite can sleep but also can do without?? I'm on the fence about that tbh! Part of me thinks maybe she's like dnd elves and just needs a brief rest for four hours to function. Again, on the fence! SO. THAT BEING SAID. HERE'S SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT DITELINE SLEEPS:

Dite either sleeps on her belly or on her sides! Otherwise her wings get agitated if they don't have space to furl

I think they idle animate if/when she sleeps, lol. They'll occasionally swish or twitch, like a horse tail or cat ear or smth

Jacqueline is a side sleeper and she curls UP. When she's sleeping with Dite she is ALWAYS the little spoon and like, BURROWS into her side if she's facing her

Jacqueline also sleeps with many blankets; she makes herself colder on purpose to sleep cozier with more blankets 🤣🤣

Jacqueline is your friend who sleeps with the window open ALWAYS. She got that from me and I am not ashamed to admit it bc the BEST sleeps are when it's FREEZING COLD but you're bundled in blankets and NOT overheating about it :3

Dite doesn't mind the chill much at all bc Jacquie's already frozen the bed (figuratively), and she can regulate temperature easily enough so she's chill with the blanket fort bed

And she runs warm ANYWAY. It's bc she's partially made of love. Keeps her WARM.

Especially since her preferred way to sleep with Jacqueline is facing her and hugging her nice and close

Which is v easy bc that sprite can make herself SUCH a tiny lil ball

Her wings also tend to hug Jacqueline too when they sleep!! No matter what, when they're cuddling or sleeping, Dite always has at least one arm and one wing draped over Jacqueline

Jacqueline has the blankets right up to her neck; Dite likes to stick her arms out

This causes problems SOMETIMES. Not always, tho! They make it work :)

Jacqueline is a sometimes snor-er and Dite thinks her snores are cute

She may be biased

Sometimes when she's deep asleep Dite glows a bit, and Jacqueline is like awed by it 🤣🤣

Dite doesn't snore, I don't think!

If Jacqueline is awake and Dite isn't, Jacquie tends to trace Dite's facial features (nose, bridge of said nose, eyebrows) until she peeks open a sleepy eye :3

Jacqueline is very annoying when she is bored and one of these occasions involves Dite being asleep while she's awake

This stops being a problem when they have kids as one of those three gremlins is always awake!

Dite is an early riser! Jacqueline likes to lounge in bed. We call it the "coze and doze". You're awake, and cozy, but still dozing in bed. This is one of her favourite things to do with Dite!

She gets very pouty if she gets pulled out of bed before cozing and dozing to her heart's content :)

They get a King sized bed bc all three kids like to cuddle puddle/jump on them and Dite's wings can be very persnickety, so it's the best for all parties involved lol

Here is a lil' snippet from what I HOPE to be this coming year's Valentine's Day post for you all! It's called "Bedtime Stories" and here's the opening, bc it has some v good Diteline bed related fluff >:)

The alarm didn’t even get a chance to chirp before a feathery wing unfurled, whacking it right off the side table and into the wall.

The one note it had started to belt was cut as the clock hit the wall and fell to the floor with a crack, just a little bit broken.

“Whoops,” Donnie said, sitting upright. Both wings unfurled, stretching out behind her. Biting back a grin, she waved her arm, the clock reassembling and popping right back up to the bedside table, the lampshade only jostling a little bit. Letting out an honest to god(dess) teehee, she flew off the bed and right into the ensuite, the blankets lifting up a good few inches.

They fluttered briefly, before a pale hand snatched them back down with a grumble.

“What are you doinggggggggg,” the pale hand pantomimed, the only body part peeking out from the blanket.

“Getting ready for work!” Donnie said excitedly, giggling as the hand puppet drooped, its thumb just askew enough to give the impression of a disgruntled Muppet’s face. “It’s the BEST day of the year, after all!”

Dressed in her Cupid’s best, Donnie flew back to the bed, grabbing the hand puppet and pulling the rest of her wife out from the blankets. She did a little meep as she was pulled out, her hair half thawed until Donnie wrapped her up in a big, tight, squishy, winged hug, kissing her right on the lips. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jacqueline!”

The sprite flushed, the rest of the snow in her hair practically evaporating. Donnie giggled.

“And you’re up this early?”

“Of course! There’s love to spread!”

“Right here in this bed,” the sprite said. Throwing all her weight at the goddess, Jacqueline managed to pin her wife back down on the mattress, latching onto her like a koala and nuzzling into her neck.

Donnie laughed, flushed. “Jacqueline,” she chided gently.

The sprite grumbled, latching on to her tighter. “Blankets,” she said, and the sheet and comforter slid right back up the bed, tucking the pair in.

Donnie laughed. “Sweetheart. I’ve gotta work today!”

“Play hooky! I’m off all day and it’s so so cold outside. And it’s only gonna get colder, you know. I have it on good authority.”

“You’d really abuse your power to make it colder to try and stay here with me all day?”

“DUH,” Jacqueline said, pecking Donnie’s chin. “The bed’s gonna get cold the moment you leave and how else am I supposed to be warm and snuggly on this snowy ol’ Valentine’s?!” Jacqueline peeked up, making sure Donnie could see her huge pout.

Donnie laughed. “The sooner I go, the sooner I can come home and snuggle you all day,” she said, kissing her forehead. Her face dropped down, nose to nose with Jacqueline, foreheads touching as she gazed into her sleepy blue eyes. “And all night,” she said, low and breathy, making sure to blow air right towards Jacqueline’s neck.

She made a little choke sound and flushed darker. Her grip loosened; with a grin, Donnie took the opportunity to roll over, pinning Jacqueline down now.

The sprite blinked up, flustered. “Oh dear,” she said.

Donnie laughed, kissing her full on the lips one long-lasting time before gently breaking it off. “Think that will hold you over? Keep you nice and toasty?”

“So toasty,” she replied, recovered. Well, mostly. But Donnie knew her wife very well, and could tell she was about half an octave higher than she normally was. She laughed, sliding off of the bed and straightening her chiton, righting the laurel that had been passed down to her and rolling her shoulders.

“How do I look?”

“Stunning, jaw-dropping, gorgeous—ready to kick ass, even,” Jacqueline replied.

“Oh, stop it,” she said, playfully waving a hand.

“Never,” Jacqueline replied, her head hitting the pillow again. “Check on the kids on your way out? Bianca was still awake when I got in.”

“Still?!”

“One more chapter, she said. You know. Like a liar,” Jacqueline said, snuggling into the covers. “Oh, boo. It’s already cold.”

Donnie laughed, clipping her bracelet on her wrist. “It’ll warm up,” she said, leaving the room, keeping the door slightly ajar.

[comfortscripts]

hi, can i request a ship from harry potter pls? i go by she/they pronouns and i’m pansexual. sorry that this is long as fuck 😫

i’m pretty short, 5’1 to be specific. i have a curvy figure, thick thighs save lives as they say. i’m a lightskin black girl with curly brown hair that goes just a bit below my shoulders. i have brown eyes and dimples.

i’m a very flirty person. i like to tease people and be teased back, all in good fun. i love joking around and i get bored easily. im a bit of a troublemaker and don’t care much when i get caught. kinda an adrenaline junkie.

when i feel threatened, i get really aggressive and defensive. i have anger issues so i’d need someone who could handle my outbursts and my aggressive tendencies. i’m very nice when someones on my good side but i can switch up very quickly. for example, if someone said something shitty about my friends, family, or me, i would become the meanest person ever to them. i wont hesitate to argue with someone if i feel they are being unfair or bitchy to me or someone else. i also swear a lot. i’m a very confrontational person, i like when things are blunt so i don’t have to second guess myself or others.

as flirty as i am, sometimes when i’m not the one initiate things with my s/o, i get kind of shy. i would try to be my normal, cocky self but i would probably fail by stuttering, blushing, or avoiding eye contact. then again, there are also those times when i like to compete for dominance (as wattpad as it sounds LMFAOO). i love physical contact. i fuckin love cuddles, hand holding, and innocent or not so innocent touches in general. i love playing with peoples hair.

as previously mentioned, i have anger issues. i have the tendency to snap on people when i’m annoyed. i space out often and get distracted easily. i’m very stubborn. i don’t like being told what to do and i have very strong beliefs. i believe that everyone is equal and i would definitely stand up to some jackass calling someone a mudblood or going on about blood status. i also don’t like talking about my feelings or my problems unless i really trust someone.

i don’t fall for people easily so someone would really have to be dedicated in winning my affections to get me to date them lmao. i really like drawing, music, going on adventures, true crime, psychology, supernatural stuff, and shit like that.

i dress kinda alternative. dark colors, chokers, fishnets, corsets, boots, rings, layered necklaces, etc.

i would say that i proudly radiate confident, chaotic, fun, and blunt energy. also, i am a slytherin.

Sorry this took so long to do but I hope you enjoy it anyways!!

I had two options for you so I gave both (Also the Ginny hair thing is low-key based off the time I nearly cried because someone learnt my hair-care routine to help me out)

Fred Weasley

The height difference!!!

Freddie is on the taller side and he never lets you forget it, whether it be holding your wand higher than you could reach or saying you have to climb up for a kiss

Your mischievous streaks complement each other and I can imagine that you two would be the talk of Hogwarts with all your pranks

Getting together would be a strange one as it seemed very much like he was chasing someone who couldn’t care less

But eventually the Gryffindor Jokester made the Slytherin Badass fall for him

Fred isn’t normally a hothead but you bet your ass that he will join in and defend someone with you

Plus he would be swooning over your protective nature

His chill and childish attitude to things might calm you down a little bit, and sometimes annoy you but then he does something cute so

Physical touch is this man’s ideal. After sharing everything all his life, he keeps a tight hold on you (physically and normally in the form of a hug)

He thinks you are the greatest person alive (besides him) and he relishes in bragging about you because he is still amazed that you are with him

"Fredrick Gideon Weasley. I swear to god if you run off again like that, I will have no problem with murdering your ginger-ass"

Stomping in with a written detention slip in your hand. Having been caught for a prank is nothing important but being punished for something you didn't pull is enraging. Especially when the culprit is your own boyfriend.

"Sorry love, not my fault that I've got longer legs." Stretching out his lanky limbs in a pathetic gesture to annoy you. "Blame nature, not me"

Pushing his legs off the sofa as you cosy up onto the burgundy velvet of the Gryffindor common room, your eyes felt nauseous from the array of loud colours. As you sat, not snuggling into Fred as usual, he began to worry slightly.

"Oh come on darling, you can't be that mad"

Poking your side in hopes to see a smile.

"My Slithering Sweetie, it was just a joke"

He rested his hand against your thigh looking for some reaction.

"Okay. I'm sorry and I'll confess to Snape that I was the one who charmed his chair."

Taking his hand in yours as you finally looked at him. Beaming smile and that mischievous glint in your eyes that Fred swore was like a flash of gold across the brown irises.

"Don't be an idiot. I don't mind a detention from him, he does tend to favour our house so the punishment is nothing. Just wanted to see you squirm a bit" With a sly wink, you finally let Fred embrace your figure as you curled up and planned your next prank, as a team.

Ginny Weasley

The Hot Couple™

You both exude such confidence and girlboss-esque vibes that people aren't sure whether to bow or run away

Ginny is a hothead and commands attention so I feel like the both of you would back each other up but god, students fear the day you two get into an argument

With Ginny's flying skills and your love of adventure, I could imagine that the both of you would have dates in the forests or go explore new muggle cities together

Ginny initiates the affection!!! And she does it constantly, so much so that it sometimes catches you off-guard and you genuinely swoon

You are her biggest cheerleader when it comes to Quidditch matches. Painting her number on your face as you stand amongst the Gryffindors, definitely earning some looks from your own house

Her brothers would be jealous for sure, but she secretly loves it and she will brag to anyone who will listen

You bring her out of her style shell a little bit, introducing her to the different styles and aesthetics

Sitting against the cold walls of your dorm as Ginny's hair wrapped and twisted around your fingers, delicately being braided for her upcoming match. She swore that you worked magic that could ease her nerves and bring her luck.

"You look like a winner" As you tied off the end and let her newly braided hair fall to the redhead's shoulders, placing a tender kiss against the side of Ginny's head.

"Who knew my girlfriend was such a charmer?" Pulling you into a soft embrace as you rested against her gaudy red sweater, knowing that you will be wearing a similar one in a few hours. "Babe, could I try something?"

Rising up to question the girl with suspicious eyes, "Does it involve more face paint because I am drawing the line at half my face"

Giggling as she tries to picture her proudly Slytherin girlfriend in glitter gold paint before pulling her mind back to the question at hand.

"Well, you always do my hair and I feel bad because I could never help with yours." Allowing Ginny's hand to caress your cheek as her soft hand outlines the ringlet that fell by your face. "So I asked Angelina if she could teach me how to braid curly hair, plus I practiced on Hermione a bunch. Would you let me try?"

Ginny recognised the affection you gave by offering to stroke her hair or meticulously brush it after every match, and she wished she could offer the same domestic care back. But now, hopefully she could start.

Pulling the redhead closer until your lips met hers, the simple gesture communicated the appreciation you felt for her. That pure, unadulterated affection the two of you shared was something many could not even attempt to replicate.

[friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn]

hey babes! it’s Z with the matchup request hehe

can i please get 1 platonic & 1 romantic matchup between the MCU & TASM spideyverses (like just all the characters you write for from all the different spideyverses)

i’m 22, NB (he/they) and bi

i have a short, black mullet & wear huge 70s glasses basically 24/7 (i’m almost blind without them) and almost the only outfit i wear is huge tshirt, baggy shorts and big, chunky platform docs

i have autism and ADHD and i’ve been described to have a very funny, chaotic, unhinged vibe (in a good way) and i can be really loud, chatty and excitable when people first meet me (im great at breaking the ice) though i just talk constantly about NOTHING and it takes a bit of time and trust to get me to actually start opening up about who i really am/what i’m really like. once you get to know me, i’m a very sensitive person, i love deep existential conversations and philosophy and psychology, and i’m a VERY loyal and committed friend. my love language is definitely being able to support, reassure and give advice to my loved ones and to help them see how wonderful, strong and capable they really are.

i also love music, i’m studying songwriting and i write/play/produce punk/new wave/hyperpop music. i also play banjo in my spare time. i watch a ridiculous amount of movies and i love redbull (hehe)

thanks angel <3

I immediately saved it as a draft this time lol.

Okay, let’s see. For your platonic match-up, I match you with…

TASM!Peter Parker

The only reason I went with Andrew’s Spidey is because he’s somehow even more chaotic than Tom’s, and that seems to match your vibe pretty well.

Just imagine all the insane stuff the two of you get up to when left unsupervised. Especially when there’s Red Bull involved.

Movie nights are a must, but they always involve a lot of banter. Sometimes you watch movies just to roast them. And if you ever watch Die Hard together, there’s the discussion about whether or not it’s a Christmas movie (it’s not).

He tries to teach you how to skate. That’s the day you find out he’s Spider-Man: because he catches you with a web before you can fall flat on your face.

“Wait, did you just-“

“Nope, you must’ve hit your head.”

“Peter, I’m dangling half a foot off the ground.”

He tried lol.

So you become his go-to person if he ever needs help, either with catching criminals or to patch him up.

From then on, he also lets you make up excuses for aunt May because Peter can’t lie to save his life (I mean, we all remember the chimney scene right?) and you can’t possibly be any worse than him.

Music is another thing you bond over. Peter is so hyped whenever you show him a new song you’ve been working on. If he bounces any harder, he’s gonna hit his head on the ceiling.

Being his wingman when he asks Gwen out.

Actually, you probably called Gwen over to the two of you and told her Peter liked her. You were done with his quiet pining.

And I’m going to end it there because we all know how tasm 2 ends and nope, not going there lmao.

Now for romantic, I match you with…

Michelle Jones

MJ is very much like you in regards to needing time to open up, so the first few conversations are just sarcastic back and forths.

She likes that you play banjo because that's not something you hear every day.

MJ seems like the sort of person who's into really obscure movies, as well as watching those really bad disaster movies like Sharknado for the hell of it. You two have a blast powering through those.

Will steal your shirts.

It's no secret that MJ is a big fan of deep conversations, so your dates are either spent talking about social issues, or about weird philosophies.

Speaking of dates, they're usually pretty low-key. Going to watch the latest weird movie, just walking around New York, it doesn't really matter what you do: it's the fun of getting to do it together.

I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the request, and have a wonderful day/night :)

[oboevallis]

Sooo I was re reading hungry part 2 and I saw the part where you wrote about link making Amelia walk around Home Good and Lowe’s while she was heavily pregnant and I was wondering if you could write a fic about that? Hope your staying safe!

rocking chair

thanks so much for the prompt, i had a lot of fun writing this i hope everyone’s doing well and staying safe!

“Hey babe.” Link whispered as he shook his girlfriends shoulder, trying to lull her out of sleep.

“Leave me alone.” She grumbled into the pillow, turning away from him. He chuckled at her grumpiness, shaking her again. “Geez, what do you want?” She snapped.

“We’ve gotta go shopping for the apartment.” They had recently moved into an apartment together, before their son arrived. He was expected to come in 3 weeks and Link wanted to get everything in order while all Amelia wanted to do at this point was curl up into a ball until the baby came.

“Nooooooooo.” She whined turning around to face him.

“We have to. The baby can’t come home to an empty apartment.” Link chuckled at his girlfriends sleepiness.

“We have furniture, and we have baby things, why can’t we just order the other stuff online?”

“First off we’ve waited too long to do this, so stuff won’t get her in time, and secondly you can’t rely on the internet you have to go and see the stuff, and there are DIY projects I want to do. We’ve gotta make this place homey.”

“Hell no Link. I’m not going to walk around the store with you so you can get stuff for projects you’ll never do.”

“Come on babe, it’ll be so much fun. And we can get you a soft pretzel on the way to the store.” Amelia perked up at the mention of a pretzel. After some time Amelia reluctantly agreed to the excursion.

_______________________________________

“Ready babe?” Link asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Can’t I wait in the car?”

“Come on it’ll be fun.” Amelia rolled her eyes and begrudgingly got out of the car. She held onto her boyfriends arm and leaned against his shoulder, they had just begun and she was already tired.

“What do we need?” She wanted to try and make this excursion as quick as they could, so she wanted to assure she kept him on task.

“I’ve gotta make two key copies, paint for the baby’s room, some tile backsplash for the kitchen, some lightbulbs and a new light fixture for the living room.” The neurosurgeon sighed, she could tell the was going to be a long trip.

“After this can we get a pretzel.”

“I promised didn’t I?” Link chuckled absentmindedly, as he compared paint swatches. “So we decided on light green for the nursery right? Which on do you like better?”

“I don’t care whatever you want.”

“Alright.” Link sighed, staring to realize his girlfriend was going to be of no help. “This one then.”

“No that’s the wrong one.” The neurosurgeon dramatically sighed, picking up the paint swatch she thought would be best in the room.

“I thought you didn’t care?”

“That was when I thought you were gonna make the right choice.” Her boyfriend chuckled wrapping his arm around her.

“Come on this is so much fun isn’t it?” Link asked as they walked through the tile isle, he took out his phone to look at the pictures he took of the kitchen to try and see what would look best in their kitchen.

“No, my feet are swollen, I’m hungry, and I want to take a nap.”

“I promise we’ll get pretzels after this.” He smiled charmingly.

_______________________________________

“Link why do we have to do this?” Amelia complained as she trailed behind her boyfriend in Home Goods. “We have a couch, bed, crib, and changing table at home already this is unnecessary.”

“We’ve got to make it homey, babe.” Link wrapped his arm around her, trying to help her keep up the pace.

“I like our cold cave.”

“See wouldn’t this mirror look cute in the entryway?” Link asked pointing to one on a shelf.

“I don’t care, whatever you want.”

“Come on, lighten up. We’ve gotta make the apartment our home, it’s gotta have a little something.”

“I’ll lighten up once this bowling ball is out of me.” Amelia bit back, starting to lose her patience. Link kept grazing down the aisles, his girlfriend trudging along. “Can’t we sit down?”

“We’re almost done.” He got distracted with another item. The tired neurosurgeon sighed and walked away from him, and towards the front of the store where a bench was. She carefully lowered herself down onto the bench and sighed, she was tempted to fake contractions but she knew Link would take her to the hospital, as she was plotting in excuse an older woman then sat down next to her.

“Your husband drag you here?” The woman asked whilst smiling.

“Yeah.” Amelia chuckled, not bothering to correct the woman that it was her boyfriend.

“My husband drags me here all the time. Any home improvement store for that matter, it’s keen like this our whole marriage. Never made me when I was pregnant though, I would’ve killed him if he did that.” Amelia chuckled, as much as she loved her boyfriend she was at her wits ends with his restlessness. “With the first baby they have all this nervous energy, that they don’t know what to do with, so they do home improvement projects.” Amelia winced at the assumption that this was her first baby. “Our first, she’s 25 now, God that’s crazy to say, but he made this rocking chair himself. I remember we had this big fight, I can’t even remember what about, but I told him to get out. So he went out the front door and I cried and cried thinking he’d actually left, but in actuality he was out back in his shed building that chair. Throughout the years he’s made amazing things for our home but that’s by far my favorite.”

“That’s sweet.” Amelia smiled melting a little bit at the sweet story.

“I lied to you.” The woman said, Amelia crooked her eyebrow; confused. “My husbands dead, I just come here to feel him.”

“I’m so sorry.” Amelia sobered up a bit.

“It’s okay, he died of what the doctors said was something called a brain aneurysm. When the doctors tried to explain it they used all these fancy terms. I think that’s what upset me the most, they could see I was distraught but didn’t even dumb it for me. He was completely healthy, the day before he was at the doctors clean bill of health, how could they of not caught it? For how smart they acted, I couldn’t believe they missed it.”

“Their hard to detect, a lot of the time there are no symptoms, until it’s too late.”

“Oh, are you a doctor? I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“No offense taken, I get it. As interns we’re taught a list of bullet points, and they give you all that crap about being sensitive but that doesn’t resonate with a lot of people, until they’ve lost someone they love.”

“Would you mind explaining to me what a brain aneurysm is?”

“Of course.” Amelia nodded turning to face her a bit better. “There are blood vessels in your brain, and if one of them gets weak, it then kinda acts like a balloon and fills up until it bursts.” The woman simply nodded, indicating she understood, starting to understand better.

“What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m a neurosurgeon.”

“So you see those all the time?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Are they ever detected early?”

“It depends. Sadly in most cases it’s too late and the aneurysm bursts, sometimes if it starts leaking you can clip it and fix the issue.”

“Thank you.” The woman nodded, shooting her a sad smile. “May I ask why you became a doctor?”

“Well all my siblings are doctors, so I guess it never really occurred to me to do something else, but I think we’re all doctors because our dad died when we were younger, in some way thinking we could change what happened I guess.”

“It helps when you start to accept the things you can’t change.” Amelia immediately noticed the phrase, it was from the serenity prayer.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking but are you in A.A?”

“I am, I haven’t been in awhile. I know it’s not the best to be in a relationship with another alcoholic but I think we kept each other in check, and were sober for each other.”

“Im in AA too.” Amelia smiled, watching the woman relax a bit. “If you want to we can go together.”

“You know, I’d very much enjoy that. I really should be going, the want to drink has been lurching over me since his death. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Amelia smiled as she took out a pen and piece of paper from her bag to write her number on and handed it to the woman.

“Thank you dear.”

“Sorry about that babe, you ready?” Link asked his girlfriend as he spotted her on the bench.

“Yeah.” Amelia nodded slowly standing up. “I’m sorry I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Louise. And yours?”

“Amelia. It was really nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, I’ll send you a text message later dear.” Amelia nodded and walked out of the store with her boyfriend.

“Who was that?”

“My friend.” Amelia smiled to herself. “I’m sorry for being cranky earlier.”

“No I’m the one that’s sorry. I dragged you to a bunch of different stores and we still haven’t got you that pretzel.” Link chuckled as he placed the bags into the trunk and closed it. “And your 8 months pregnant and exhausted.”

“No it’s okay.” Amelia smiled once he got into the drivers side and buckled his seatbelt. “What were you planning on building for the baby?”

“Well I know your tired so I’m gonna get you that pretzel and drop you off at home, but I’m probably go to ikea and get a rocking chair.” Amelia perked up to this and smiled.

“No don’t go to ikea, you should build it.”

“Well yeah, they give you all the parts there.”

“No you should build it from scratch.”

“What happened to the online shopping Amelia?”

“Come on wouldn’t it be really sweet?”

“I haven’t really built anything like that since high school wood shop, but I guess I can figure it out.” Link smiled, happy Amelia was starting to appreciate the DIY side of him. “You know what I think I will.”

“Thank you.” Amelia smiled, relaxing into the seat. “I have the best boyfriend ever.”

“And I have the best girlfriend ever.”

“That’s correct.” Amelia smirked.

[bubbled-clouds]

the coolest thing ever is having Adult Friends ™️

like yeah yeah 18 thats SO cool!! B U T !!!!!! literally like 30-40 year olds???? A N D its like a mutual respect kinda thingy??? *AHH*

rant ahead (/pos tho bc AHH)

okok S O

my mum’s friends with this aunty n uncle (get used to me calling them bc thays what Indians do) right and lets start this Right off the bat withhh THEYRE NOT HOMOPHOBIC!!!!! the uncle Literally!!!!! avoids going to stores that *are* openly homophobic bc they support conversion camps n he’s like ‘why should we torture people for living how they want to live’ he Did say he doesnt have an issue if his friends Are homophobic (im letting it slide tho bc if he Did then they woulsnt be friends with my fam and i wouldnt get to talk to them so-) THATS THE SWAG PART do i wonder if they’d change their mind knowing *i* was gay? yes. 1000% but for now i will have false(?) hope that they wouldnt (actually if i Do move out for college (which is i think kinda likely) i was planning on sending them a letter and coming out)

okay AND!!! they Talk to me!!!!! my mom’s a really loud talker and tends to talk over people and one time the aunty asked me smthg and i andwered but Mother interrupted me and started talking to her and after my mum finished the aunty said ‘yk i didnt get to hear what [REDACTED] said’ and i went *happey* and repeated what i said AND!!!!!!! BOTH THE UNCLE N AUNTY ALWAYS TRY AND MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT W ME WHEN WERE TALKING JUST sdvsksveks * h a p p e y * like they legit would turn their bodies/crane their necks just !!!!!!!!!!! makes me so so happy!!!

okay and the aunty is SUCH a good artist (low key look up to her???) and like my mum sent her a pic of the crow i drew and the aunty literally said ‘ask [REDACTED] to make me one’ and just SHES asking M E ?????? (mother has been guilt tripping me over not making it yet but i have fucking tests i literally dont wanna ruin my mental health jesus) but yeah,, so sweet,,, and!!! if she seea me drawing she asks abt it and either offers me help/tells me what she liked abt it just *fuzzy* and!!! one day she called me n told me that she felt so close to me that she felt like if she knew i did smthg like morally bad she felt comfy with telling me off on it (and honestly???? thats so sweet???)

okay!!!!!! and the d a d!!!!! ahhhhh personally my brain links more w his bc like hes a very progressive thinker n he likes!!!!! world stuff!!!!! he always tells me how surprised he is by how ahead i am for my age/that hes like happy(?) that i think so ahead (which- s o f t-) and!!!!!! he sends my mum stuff n is like ‘i think [REDACTED] would be interested in this’ he actually was the one to give me les mis which is why i Really wish my brain would fixate on it so that i can ger through the boring beginning (bb hehe) but yeah and!!!! today (like an hour ish ago) he sent a video to my mum about this ted talk about the universe and how wack it is and!!!!!! WE HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT!!!! the video was 20ish min long (i sent him 5 paragraphs after o watched it-) AND HE REPLIED!!!!!! and we had a convo :))) there was something i didn’t understand he said he’d explain it when they come over and just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay AND the fact that he texted soo late??? like their family sleeps at 10-11ish and our convo ended at 12 (it wasn’t too like 15ish min) soo i am just a h !

[7wanderingpaws]

bbh leaving soon :(( are you okay??? im so not ready. at least ill have your series to keep my spirits up :((

Hi!! Thank you for mentioning my writing wow, I’m hardly making it up for his presence, but I’ll try ❤️

I received a similar question earlier and I wrote a post about it but ended up drafting it cause I feel like I would get negative response in a way 🥲

But I hope you will get better, my darling - and I understand the news are sad. But he will be back in no time and in the meanwhile everyone can focus on other exo members, their activities (at least I cant wait for those) and focus on ourselves, and becoming better people so we can all welcome him back :) Baekhyun will have a once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully) experience as a soldier so its a huge thing for him as well, and he must be a little nervous about it. after all his life will change a lot for a longer while (also, i feel like he low-key needs a rest from work and entertainment).

Anynway, I’ll add my original post under the cut and those who want can read it and others can keep scrolling! ^^ Take care! ❤

TW: honesty

I went a bit though Twitter and goodness that place is so hectic - I made an acc a while ago but rarely go there (no time) and every post is triggering and people are so dramatic over there (hence I like tumblr). Plus, the way some “translators” translate Korean is not entirely precise so I’m minding my own business and wish bbh a good time while he is away! I’m not sad/surprised since we knew he will be going. He himself never mentioned he was sad/upset (as many translated) he said that he’s frustrated about not doing the activities.

I feel so insensitive since everyone seems to be a bit sad/upset/frustrated and I’m neither. I genuinely thought everyone is aware that he’d be going in April (if not in March). Chanyeol’s news were a little of a surprise but not bbh 😅 and military is part of every man’s life in SK! so this isnt such a huge deal as everyone makes it seem like.  >.<

I think he will be more than fine while he is away, I was a little sad and will never understand that he would prefer working hard/his fans over spending time with his parents. That’s for me regrettable on his side. Either way, he promised to everyone he would have content so maybe it’s true and nobody will feel his absence ^^

And to answer your question whether Im good (thank you for checking, dear!) Frankly I’m so pre-occupied with my own stuff that I can barely keep up with what is happening around me and I have so many personal issues that neither bbh nor exo can help me resolve them and that will always be like that. Kpop is just an entertainment to me so I’ll gladly wait for all Exo’s when its time for their return and enjoy it as much as I can^^ (After all they are strangers to us, we are strangers to them)

PS NATURALLY everyone takes news differently/how they feel so I understand if someone is sad and overwhelmed but the way some people reacted on other social media really didnt make sense to me; i feel bad that so many people put a lot of their emotional reliance in him >< what i mean is that it can be dangerous so its good to take a step back and realize he is just a celebrity, just an “idol” and not our friend and definitely not someone you think you know because it isnt true unfortunately pls realize that and send him off with positive thoughts!

[lgcyunhyeong]

hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true! 

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me! 

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows! 

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human! 

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool) 

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person! 

idk bully him 

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

[gg-astrology]

heyy! one of my friends is a cap sun/merc/venus/mars + a virgo moon and talking to him can get so EXHAUSTING and it's not just me saying this, a lot of other people i know say the same thing but i'm looking through the astrology point of view and i wanted to hear your thoughts on it. also is it true that virgo moons can be emotionally detached/have trouble expressing their emotions or does that depend on their other placements?

hey there! 💙🖤❤️ i totally get what you mean, I know someone like that too.. but I have to say this, once again, (as a precaution) try not form opinions of the sign/placements based on bad experiences. Just moving forward, in order to learn techniques and stuff properly. This is just a precaution to keep in mind?

About and For the Virgo Moon Person ⬇️

🚫long post 🚫

So…how do i say this.. virgo moons… they think alot because they want to help? that’s their mode of caring? 

In a way, being useful/thinking logically is how they provide help for others. Even if people don’t like them, virgo moon’s detachment stems more bc they care about others than an actual detachment/isolation itself (i.e. see aquarius  detachment as well, but of a different kind than virgo).

I think it’s that kind of thing y know - like, detaching ur emotions so u can still offer objectives first. But in a way they also like to over-analyze and over-think a lot of stuff. Especially emotions and how to deal with it/process it moving forward. I think that’s why a part of the archetype is those of a giver and ultimately self-sacrificial, because they will put other priorities before themselves - whether it’s people, objectives, or getting their views across to help the situation. 

Even if they bury or suppress their own sensitivity and emotions a lot of the time in order to do that (provide help/offer assistance/support). It’s a good idea to keep in mind that they are burying it underneath. 

Let’s look at it from their perspective for a second - you’ve probably already realized this (or if not, it’s never a bad thing to look at it again and maybe realize how empathetic they can be) - they process emotions themselves very logically, so when others come to them for help - they tend to give advice/reflect that back in the same manner, without getting too attached to the emotional side of things (being capable vs being too emotional). 

However, they ARE sensitive to the environment - to people around them + what is sourced. If they can’t identify the problem/isn’t sensitive to that - then they wouldn’t be able to offer any advice regarding it. It’s good to keep in mind, that the moon receives energy from others. So when their advice is criticized, thrown away, hurled back or hurled at them. They may hide behind a mask of indifference (bc, again, logic and understanding rationally that not everyone can like you) – but it does still hurt. 

That kind of creates a loop contributing to how they suppress or have difficulties occasionally with expressing themselves, or letting themselves talk about stuff freely. Because as much as they want to help - sometimes they think they’re not translating well, or is not helpful to others, the idea of what they’re giving being the opposite of helpful - wasteful or a burden - sometimes repels them too (more like, ‘if it repels them personally it would repel others as well’. That’s how they’d think about it.) 

So. You can imagine what that would be like if you’re stuck in a loop of trying to be the Best Version of Yourself Possible (that you think is needed/that you’re proud of or accepted yourself as) but not being actually accepted by others - it’s kind of a hard life to have?? Virgo/Pisces have this thing where being accepted is nice, is what makes it - ultimately fulfilling. They have a role in the universe and a function - and sometimes it’s just hitting and hitting a metal bar until something fits - whether its a place, person, environment, life. That’s when it’s truly ok to feel accepted. 

I guess the best way to say this is that Virgos can think sometimes that emotions get in the way - which can be true - of fixing things. And that’s how they function? 

I can totally understand your frustration - especially if the person has a lot of Capricorn as well (wanting to be right, prideful, wanting to be Good and the Best even if they can be low-key about it!) - but, again, this is just very earthian. And ultimately - if you’re asking for my perspective, they deserve some empathy. They’re not? really doing harm to anyone. And sometimes it’s just that. 

I don’t blame the person altogether, I think it���s an everyone’s problem where no one’s developed or doing well enough to accept each other which is a? thing that happens sometimes in groups and maturity (the idea of developing). A boat is being balanced, someone needs more help than others because they’re rocking it with their own personal problems - but it takes a team to actually keep it together and not throw them overboard. 

You don’t have to be friends with those you know you can’t handle right now, I’m just saying 1. look out for yourself, your own boundaries and mental well-being 2. hopefully this will help with empathizing with the person in question a little bit more. At least keeping in mind that they have their own perspective and emotional stuff too. and 3. If things don’t work out right now - don’t worry about it. Time is a long long journey, and people can grow and change - doesn’t mean you have to be there or be obligated to that.

Anyways, as an ending note I just wanted to say I do think Earth moons all kind of have similar problems with opening up - but emotional detachment doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions inside. It’s good to keep that in mind! 

If you need any advice on how to help this Virgo Moon person - usually offering detailed and logical advice right back analyzing the topic (whatever it is, like, hey lets talk about boundaries, or hey lets talk about how we both want to be treated?) tends to help. I think they’d appreciate it, just as long as it remains neutral and not a personal attack/direct criticism. They’re still a mutable earth sign, so they CAN get slippery if the tone isn’t right skkskskskkd but - otherwise, I think just spelling it out to them on how to DO stuff that you (and others) are comfortable with is nice. 

The problem with this combination is that they don’t KNOW if nobody teaches them. They don’t know what people expect, what other people require, they’re trying to do their best figuring it out themselves and trying to provide from their own perspective. Feedback really helps, but done so in a way that’s like proposing a new concept to discuss/discover together. Rather than a criticism of how shitty they made someone feel.

I hope this helps?? 💙🖤❤️ Again, if you’re interested in learning about this astrologically - try not to have prejudice by learning archetypes of these signs. It tends to help, alongside the placements. 

I think most of the time we’re trying to line up our experience with what we’ve learnt, simultaneously at the same time. But sometimes we miscalculate and turn into our experiences over-blinding what we should learn. I recommend reading up on what the planet does as well - if you’re looking into further details about the topic! As it tends to help.

Right.. so. Hm! I can’t take all the credit for this myself, since I did have a long discussion with my friend who’s an Aquarius/Virgo. I think they’re very empathetic, and it helped me a lot with how I wanted to form this answer. So I’m gonna add in some excerpt incase it helps:

Aquarius/Virgo friend: 

“i process emotions w a logical approach and when ppl for some come to me for help I’m v much able to help them and give them advice without getting emotionally attached at all? this sounds bad bc it sounds like im not emotionally supporting the person truly nhhhdh yeah it can be useful for advice and knowing how to go on from a bad situation nd move on but it’s not always ideal since. duh. feelings r made to… be felt.. properly” 

“but emotionally detached like FR…. idk man…. i think we care a lot abt people, we always want to help nd we’re not ok if they’re not. virgos r actually v sensitive to their environment and how others r feeling as well”

“and true i do feel like all earth signs have issues w expressing emotions. they’re grounded nd they know themselves… so they all think they’re self sufficient. or want to be or whatever. but ofc it’s not true y'all do need somEone sometimes. but its hard bc everyone relies on earth signs i think… so yeah”

“take good care of Virgos. we’re sensitive. we need love. we want people to like and need us. we’ve been through more than u know. yes i will process that you don’t like me logically but i do care deep down, I’ll just bury it so I don’t stop being logical. bye”

“also as u know we’re really good over analyzers nd over thinkers nd w that being said pls reply u were typing but didnt send did i say something wrong i hope i didnt but i idk idk what I’m talking about but  am i dumb??? reply plsssksskkjsjd where are u…   but then we never send these despite thinking them bc it’s an earth sign supposed 2 be cool for everyone nd grounded all the time”

   So! 💙🖤❤️ They’re kind of worriers! 💙🖤❤️ But they’re pretty harmless and nice once they learn how to relax and be chill a little bit more. I guess I’m saying sometimes you just gotta sit a cap/virgo down and be like my dude… mayhaps not?? and be done with it!! 💙🖤❤️ I hope this helps! 💙🖤❤️💙🖤❤️ 

[kweebtrash]

Dom(me)s Aren’t Built In a Day: Johnny Vers. (M)

Pairing: Johnny X Reader

Features: Choking/Breath play, restraints, spanking/paddling, cock rings, Switch!Johnny, bratty behavior, oral sex/69, light scratching/biting, rough sex, established relationship and some fluffy shit because i couldn’t resist

Genre: Slight Angst, Smut.

Word Count: 7.3k

A/N: So I kinda got carried away with this one. And i was going to make Johnny a sub all the way but the story took it’s own course. Anon I really hope you like this because i love it! I’m so much better writing kink than fluff lol. Thanks Anon <3

DABIAD Mini Series Masterlist

My hands slid underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the warm skin and firm muscles underneath. I dug my nails in ever so slightly when his hand grabbed my ass forcing me closer to his body. I sighed softly into his kiss, wanting more and hungry to feel him deeper.

“You wanna go to the bedroom?” I smirked as i laid open mouth kisses on his neck.

“I guess…”

He guessed?? “What do you mean you guess?”i asked.

He shrugged and diverted his eyes. “If you wanna…”

“Well it's not really consensual if you dont want to.”

“I'll do it for you.”

I pushed Johnny off of me and got up from the couch. “Just say you fuckin’ dont want to. Damn.”

It had been like this. For weeks now. Apathetic, mediocre. Trying to get a groove back that seemed to have faded already. We had been dating for almost a whole year now, and when it first began it was like we set the whole world ablaze. Every moment with him was ecstatic and filled me with feelings of lust, love, and happiness all at once. Yet lately it seemed like he didn't even want to touch me. I was shocked when he initiated the make out session, even a little turned on to be grinding on the couch like horny teenagers. But even that little bit of a spark disappeared within minutes. And now I knew for sure that he was just doing it to try and please me. Not that him rutting unenthusiastically into me made it feel good.

I had plenty of thoughts running through me head. Was he cheating? Did he fall out of love with me? Was he sick? Medical issue? Depression? He wasn't talking to me and that made me even more worried. How did we even get to this point?

I went over to his bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. A few moments later he was in the doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I'm sorry…” He said quietly. He was hiding behind his dark brown bangs, shyer than he normally was.

“What is going on with you? You're never like this and you wont talk to me about anything! When did that start happening?” i let out a frustrated sighed as my mind went to that place again. “Are you….are you cheating on me?”

Johnny’s head snapped up instantly. “What? No! Fuck no! I would never. Why would you think that?”

“I DONT KNOW! You’re not talking! Tell me what's going on then!” i couldn't help the angered tone in my voice.

“It's nothing! Nothing's wrong i just…” He shrugged. “I guess I'm in a funk or something. I don't know. I was hoping it would go away but it hasn't.” He rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. “Dont worry about it ok? I'll figure it out.”

“Figure it out…” I scoffed. “So you've been ‘figuring it out’ by yourself for weeks and you've become reclusive and it feels like you're repulsed by me.”

“Don't be so fucking dramatic. I'm not repulsed by you. Nothing wrong with you. Just let me do this by myself.”

“Fine.” I got up from the bed and pushed past him. “You can call me whenever you ‘figure it out’.” i rushed to grab my bag and keys from by the couch and went over to the door.

“Yeah, thanks for being understanding!!” He screamed after me. “Selfish ass!!”

I guess I was being selfish. It wasn't really about the sex...part of it was of course but what the hell was he hiding? I had spent various nights crying, going days without a call or text, even though he was posting his photography on instagram. It seemed like he was going on without me. That was until one night he finally broke the silent vow that had manifested between us.

“I'm sorry. I really wanna see you. I miss you.” i heard him breathe into the phone.

“Are you drunk?” i sighed.

“Yeah but it's fine. I know what i'm saying. Come over.”

“I'm not going over while you're drunk. Where even are you?” I could hear loud noises in the background and people screaming over each other.

“Out. Please. Meet me at my place. You still have the key dont you?”

“Yeah but-”

“Let me fuck you.”

No. That was bad. Very very very bad. And i should not go over there. I got up and grabbed my keys, swiftly putting on my shoes and making a terrible decision.

When i got to his place he was already pushing me against the door, his mouth overwhelming mine and hands roaming everywhere. I was clawing at his clothes, practically tearing them away. He looked amazing. Tight jeans that accentuated his firm ass, black shirt that was now tossed aside and heated muscles that drove me to open my legs instantly. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bedroom, pushing me onto the bed and crawling on top of me. My breaths were coming out so hard that my lungs were starting to burn. The only thing i could think about was him making me cum. Just please make me cum. Ive missed you so much, Johnny. So much.

I couldnt say what i was thinking. I was too busy pulling him closer to the heat between my thighs, wanting to ride his face until the sun came up. My hand was digging into his scalp while his were on my breasts, squeezing and kneading as he rained kisses over my lower stomach. I shoved off my sweatpants and panties, eliciting a growl from his hungry lips. “Fuck Johnny….please.”

He grabbed my hips with a smirk, yanking me towards him and moving up to swallow my lips again in sinful twists and turns of his tongue. “I'll get to you in a minute, baby i promise.”

I whimpered wantonly. “Don't keep me waiting. Ive missed you so much.”

He licked my lips and groaned. “Fuck, me too. You feel so damn good and i'm not even inside you yet.” He trailed his lips to my neck biting down hard against the sensitive skin as his denim clad cock ground into my center. My hands raked up his back, stopping right at the base of his neck. I arched into him, returning the rolls of his hips as gasps of pleasure fell from me. “Choke me.”

I stopped then and there. “What?”

“Choke me. For the love of god, fuckin’ choke me.” He took my hand in his, placing it on his neck as his eyes sealed shut, waiting.

I pulled away, sitting up slightly. “Johnny! That's dangerous!”

“No, it"s fine. Please just do it. It'll get me off.”

My eyes went wide and i scrambled away from him. “I-i cant do that. That's just…”

“Why not? It's easy. Just do it.”

“You could stop breathing! I'm not gonna kill you.”

“Exactly! It wont kill me! You're not gonna hurt me. Just…” He looked at me, eyes dark and pleading.

“I cant. Im sorry. I...i knew this was a bad idea. I have to go.” i quickly grabbed my pants and pulled them on. He didnt even try to stop me. He just sat there, head hung low and hand clenched around the sheets. I rushed out of there fast, my heart still racing with nervousness. I had never been asked that before and for Johnny to even suggest that...was that what he was wanting before? Why he was so distant? I just...i couldn't do that to him no matter how badly he wanted it. My heart hurt now...maybe we werent exactly made for each other after all.

--

A month had passed and we still were barely talking. I wasnt ready to move on but...maybe it was time. He was on my mind everyday and i also continuously wondered if maybe he had found someone else. Someone who could do what he wanted. We had arranged to meet at his place again. I was going to get my things and probably break it off for good. As I drove to his apartment i willed myself not to start crying. I had to be strong. This was for the best. Maybe not for me but maybe for him. In my head I tried to convince myself that I wanted him to be happy even if it was with someone else. But it wasn't really working.

When i got to the front door and knocked there was no answer. He knew I was coming...he had to be home. I sent him a text and waited. Minutes passed and still no answer. I still had the key to his place -i had planned to give it back to him today- but i didnt want to burst in there. It seemed rude now since we were so distant. But he still wasn't answering. I reluctantly set the key in the lock and went inside. The place was dark, there was only a dim light coming from his bedroom. “Johnny?” I called out.

Still no response. Now i was starting to get worried. I went over to his bedroom, the door wide open, and i could see him lying in bed fully naked with his cock in his fist. His laptop was beside him and his headphones in his ears which would explain why he hadn't heard anything. My face was bright red and i panicked. I had no idea if I should stop him or not. I almost didn't want to. He looked so...damn good. The way his chest was rising and falling, his legs tensing and hips bucking with each pass of his hand over the tip of his cock. I dared to step a little closer to him and i noticed the video that was playing on his laptop. Of course it was porn but stuff that we had never watched together. The man was tied up, rope decorating his skin in intricate patterns, his mouth gagged shut and a blindfold over his eyes. There were marks all over his backside, most likely the branding from the tall amazonesque women dressed in latex behind him. She was holding a thin rod of what looked like maybe wood in her gloved hands and he was begging her for more. She complied, landing another hard whip from the cane making him cry out. When the wood landed on skin, Johnny's body tensed, his breath hiccuping for a moment before he licked the dryness from his lips. His cock was leaking now, the sound of wet skin on skin coming to my ears.

I swallowed hard and reached out to him, setting my hand on his sweat slicked chest. His eyes shot open and he jumped up quickly, yanking the headphones out his ears and slamming the laptop shut. “Jesus!! Dont you knock!?” he pulled a pillow over his lap and glared up at me.

“I did!! I knocked, i texted you, and i called out to you! You're the one with headphones jacking off to…that stuff…”

His face flushed a bit and he got up from him bed trying to making his way over to his bathroom. “Why are you here?!”

“We agreed for me to come over and get my stuff! Don't you remember?”

He groaned. “Shit...that was today?”

“I thought that's what we said!” i shifted my feet a bit. “Sorry, i came in with the key. I didnt want to but you didnt answer and...well…”

He pushed his hair back briefly wiping the sweat from his forehead. “It's fine...it's my fault. Um…” He looked down at the pillow that he was clutching tighter. “I'm gonna uh...you know.”

“Finish?”

“What?! N-no! I mean not while you're here now! That's like...weird.” He said.

“Why? I mean I know why but i've seen your dick like...hundreds of times.”

“Yeah but we're…”

“What are we exactly?” I asked.

He looked down at his feet. “I dont know. I thought you hated me.”

“Hate? No! I thought that...i thought a lot of things. I thought you didnt want to be with me because i was scared to choke you. I thought that maybe sex was that important to you and then it made me feel like shit.”

“i felt like shit when you thought it was weird. And i'm sorry about the choking thing. Me being drunk and springing it on you wasn't the best way to go about it. I'm glad we didn't have sex that night.” He replied.

“Me too.” i nodded before glancing back at his laptop. “I really miss you Johnny. Like it hurts so bad to not be around you. And if...this stuff is important to you i'm willing to at least try it.”

His eyes snapped up to me. “R-really? You really don't have to. I dont want to make you uncomfortable. I guess this is what we’re struggling with anyway.”

“I am uncomfortable but...maybe you can teach me and we can try stuff?” I nibbled my lip a bit. “You looked really hot listening to it...just saying.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Thanks...um…” He leaned in a bit placing a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled and looked up at him.

“So do I spank you and call you a bad boy now?”

He nodded. “That would be kinda nice.”

“Do I say mean things to you?” I asked fumbling over the thoughts in my head and just spitting them out.

“No, i'm not into degradation, just control. Or lack thereof. You're in control. You command me essentially.”

“Command you?” I thought for a moment. “Like get on your knees and eat me out?”

“Right now?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

I cleared my throat. “If you dont i'll...spank you.”

He smiled which made me cover my face. “Im sorry! I'm trying!”

“No, no. It's okay. I appreciate it. You're so cute.”

I set my face in his chest, trying to hide my embarrassment. “Am i supposed to sound scary? Like how am I supposed to do it?”

He kissed the top of my head. “Not for nothing but we can watch some stuff together. Its a bit exaggerated but you'll get the gist of it.”

“Watch porn...together?”

“Nothing more romantic, am i right?” He laughed and nodded towards his bed. “C’mon.”

I took off my sweatshirt and jeans, tossing them away with my shoes and climbed into bed with him. He sat up against his headboard, setting the laptop on the pillow and opening it back up.

“Ok,” I held onto his arm and exhaled. “Let do this.”

--

Oh god. I could see why he wanted this so bad. Never in my life had i seen anything so lustful and sensual than my small hands wrapped around Johnny's throat. His full lips were parted, only being able to let out small raspy gasps as his chest tried to compensate for the lack of air. I held his life in my hands, which in of itself was the most powerful thing i had ever felt. My thumbs pressed into his adams apple and his hand instantly grabbed the top of the headboard to steady himself while i rode his cock like I was never going to see him again. And when he came -Jesus- when he came it was like a whole new world had opened and we were the only ones in it. My whole body tensed, convulsed, clenched around him as his cum filled me. He had arched against me, making my nails dig into his skin before he tapped my wrist quickly. I let go instantly and he gasped in air in huge gulps, coughing just a bit.

“A-are you o-okay?” i stammered as i still felt my legs shaking on either side of his hips.

He nodded, coughing into his elbow and struggling to regain his breath. I bit my lip now worried that i had done something wrong. “Johnny!”

He waved me off, giving me a thumbs up before he finished his coughing fit. “FUCK!” he wiped the back of his mouth. “Damn...that was-”

“Did it hurt? Are you ok? I'm sorry, God i’m so sorry. I was caught up in the-”

He interrupted me like i had done to him except it was with a hard kiss. He pulled me down to him, kissing me deeply and desperately. When he pulled away I was almost lightheaded from the intensity. “You're amazing. Like...incredibly amazing.”

“You've never cum like that before. I um…” I looked down at our bodies still connected and the bit of stickiness that was slowly sliding out of me. “It was a lot...and really….wow.”

“Yeah...wow is...one way to describe it. Can we do it again?” He smirked.

“Right now? Are you sure? I think I marked your neck though.” I blushed.

He bit his lip in his charmingly awkward way. “Hell. Yes.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pushed me down to the bed, attacking my neck and chest with kisses and bites making me giggle.

“Johnny! Wait!” I squirmed beneath him, trying to still his nibbles and licks. Him laughing against my neck tickled even more until I was almost in tears. “Stop!” He didn't, even when i begged but an idea popped into my head amidst my giggles. I landed a hard smack against his ass using as much force as i could given my position beneath him. He stopped instantly, clutching my sides roughly. “When I say stop what do you think that means?”

“Stop, ma'am.”

“Ma'am?” I mulled it over. I didn't think I was a Mistress or Mommy or Queen or anything just yet. Besides some of those titles still made me squeamish.

“Would you want me to call you something else?” he asked, head still bowed and buried in my neck.

“No. I like that. Say it again.”

“Yes ma'am.”

I smirked feeling the sense of power return. “Good boy. I think you should bend over now.”

--

~2 years later~

“Why are you mad at me? You're the one who walked out on me!” Johnny yelled once we got into our shared apartment.

“Because I don't like public proposals and you did it right in front of everyone!”

“It was a surprise engagement party!”

“I still dont like that! It puts me on the spot and it makes me have anxiety and it forces me to say yes!”

“So you dont want to say yes?” He looked at me confused and full of hurt.

“No, i mean...i just...can i think about it?!”

“Think about it? We've been together for so long already! What is there to think about?!”

“I dont know! I mean...divorce rates, family shit, insurance, an entire fucking wedding that we cant afford! A stupid dress that i'm only going to wear once and costs like a quarter of my college debt.”

“And all of that was enough to make you walk out on me? Really?”

“I just have to think about it, ok?!”

“Think about it on the couch then.” He walked into our bedroom-the one that used to belong to him and only him- and slammed the door shut. I sighed, angrily kicking off my heels and plopping down on the sofa. My arms crossed as my stubbornness was kicking in. I wasnt apologizing. I hated crowds and when he got down on one knee in front of our friends my anxiety went into over drive and i panicked. I had run outside, my emotions a terrible melting pot of odds and ends. I didnt come back to the party. It ended horribly. That was when we drove home in a tense silence that had exploded as soon as we stepped foot into our home.

I thought back to the first year of our relationship. How hot and cold we were because of all the changes we were going through. It was so distant and painful. I didnt want to go through that again. That was when the giddiness hit. He had proposed, completely unexpected and while i almost had an anxiety attack at our surprise engagement party….he had actually proposed. Like PROPOSED. I covered my face with my hands and felt the heat rising all the way to the tips of my ears. I never thought that would happen ever. It hadnt even crossed my mind before. I was so focused on building my business and living our life as a couple who lived together that I hadnt thought that far. A piece of paper and a ring wouldnt change how i felt about him but he had clearly thought it through. Enough to do a party after all.

Oh Johnny. This is why even though I controlled you, you had me wrapped around your finger tight.

I got up and unzipped my form hugging dress, stepping out of it and kicking it out the way. I went over to the bedroom, knocking gently before stepping in. He ignored me, opting to keep his eyes glued to his phone. His blazer was strewn on the bed, tie and top buttons of his shirt undone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows while his hair escaped the hold his pomade had on it. “Johnny…” I called out softly.

His thumb flicked over the phone screen, his eyes following the scrolling blue and white masses of texts and photos. I crawled onto the bed and sat behind him, rubbing my hands over his shoulder. He smacked them away quickly. “Dont.”

“I'm sorry.” I began, placing a kiss on the back of his neck. “I didn't mean to upset you. I panicked.” I wrapped my arms around his ribcage and held him tight.

He sighed and set his phone on the night stand. “Do you really not want to get married? Honestly i'll return the damn ring and get myself a camera.”

I turned his face towards mine and kissed his full lips gently. “Let me think about it ok? Please?” I didn't give him much of a chance to respond as i deepened the kiss little by little, pushing him back onto the bed. He let out a small grunt and i assumed it was because he was mad at himself for being persuaded so easily. But i've always had that effect on him. While our tongues were clashing with one another i drew my hand up to his neck, gently running my hands over one of his most sensitive areas. He jerked at the touch at first, knowing what it meant and the possibilities for the night. He pulled away ever so slightly, his warm breath coating my lips as he panted.

“Ma'am?” he asked tentatively.

“Mhm…” I nodded in response, letting the switch set off between us as our dynamics changed. He wasn't just my sweet, loving, awkwardly goofy boyfriend anymore. He was my pet, my submissive- the one who catered to my every desire to enact my power over him, to see him crumble beneath me, begging helplessly.

“I'm still mad at you.” He said softly.

“I know.” I gripped his neck, adding pressure right against his adam's apple. His breath stilled for a moment as i slid my legs over his lap, straddling him. “That's why I'm making it up to you. Or at least trying to. Will you let me?”

His hand fell to my hip which he squeezed twice-our signal for yes. I smiled down at him dragging my eyes to the tie that hung loosely from his neck. Improvise. I let go of his throat momentarily- much to his dismay- and undid the tie. The shirt came next, a slow tease of testing his patience as I undid each button placing kisses on each new exposed area of skin. I untucked the shirt from his pants, opening a new area across his stomach to litter with kisses and a few harsh bites just to keep him on his toes. He was usually a quiet sub until he started begging and only let out a few hisses when i bit into him. My eyes drifted up to him- he was watching me intensely, wondering where i would go next- before looking down at the zipper of his dress pants.

I ignored it for now, shuffling down to remove his shoes and socks instead. He was shifting in the bed, fingers flexing around the bed sheets as he became raptured by every move I was making. I suppose it did help that i was in nothing but a sheer bra and panty set. I had planned that way before our fight, thinking we would have a chance to slip away in the middle of the party, but at least my plan came back around full circle. “Now dont move. Stay right where i left you.” I commanded before I left him in the bed and retreated to our closet. Behind all the clothes and totes and shoes was our little box of secrets- well, over the years the size of the box had increased as our collection grew and we learned how one another worked. I pulled it out, rifling through the goodies to find exactly what i was looking for. When i turned back to the bed Johnny had removed his shirt and unzipped his pants which instantly made my brow furrow.

“Did I ask you to do that?” i gripped the base of the paddle i now had in my hand tighter.

He licked his lips and swallowed hard. “N-no but I thought-”

“You thought...huh. last time I checked your job isnt to think, it's to do what i say.” I bound over to him, grabbed the tie from the bed and pinned his wrists together, securing them in a bowline knot, making sure it was tight enough that his big hands wouldn't slip through. “On your knees. Now.”

“Yes ma'am.” He shifted onto his hands and knees, ass raised in the air. I always loved seeing him like this. Especially because his ass was so cute, even cuter when covered in bruises and hand marks too.

“Hold onto the headboard and dont move.”

He followed my order while i yanked his dress pants down along with his black boxer briefs, exposing him completely. I bit my lip, trying to stifle my giggle as i still saw faint traces of the bruises I had left on him a couple weeks ago. He was definitely due for some more. I picked up the paddle once more, turning it over and running my fingers over the leather that covered it and the icy steel grommets along the edges. I could see his shoulder blades tensing in anticipation, making his back muscles ripple. God, he looked so good. I stepped a bit closer to him, rearing my hand back and landing a hard slap across his cheeks with the paddle. He pursed his lips together, trying to suppress a groan from deep within his chest.

“What was that?” i asked, rubbing the leather across the bright red sting.

“N-nothing ma'am.” He replied through grit teeth as his head dipped.

“You know i prefer you quiet unless your begging, right?”

“Yes ma'am.” i watched his fingers grip the headboard tighter and smirked.

I brought the paddle down again for another loud thwack. His entire body lurched forward, his ankles crossing over each other sending the tension to his calves. There was no sound from him except his heavy breathing that was slowly starting to shift into raggedness. I switched from using the paddle to rub against him to my hands, trailing my nails over the burning skin. The light scratches were enough to make him squirm, his stomach dipping towards the mattress. I dragged my nails up the base of his tailbone trailing all the way up his spine. I heard the faintest of curses under his breath which made me chuckle. I pressed my index and middle finger under his chin and tilted his head up towards me. “You're purposefully being a brat now arent you?”

His eyes were hooded, long lashes fluttering as his lips parted to say something but he thought better of it. “If you think this is your punishment then you've got another thing coming, baby boy. Trust me i've got something much worse planned for you.”

I dropped my touch from him and slithered back to the box grabbing the thing he loved to hate the most. It was small and simple yet dangerous and carried the weight of torture within its expanding walls. I grabbed the girth of his hips and yanked him back to me. Johnny complied until my hands were over his semi soft cock, sliding on the cock ring over his shaft, making a slight twist in the silicone to wrap around his balls as well. “What?! No!” He hissed.

“Ooh, you're back talking me today too? I definitely won't be taking it easy on you now.” I pressed a heated kiss against his neck, kissing up to his ear before biting against his earlobe. “Get back into position.”

He nodded meekly, returning his hands to the headboard. Now he knew he was in punishment territory and there wasn't any turning back. I may have wanted to make it up to him so he wouldn't be mad at me but there was still a teensy part of me that was angry that he embarrassed me and sent me into a panic. I gave him no warning, mimicking the way he sprung that loaded question me, and slammed the paddle into him again. The indentation of the grommets were starting to form on his skin like fiery o's. I gave him little room to breathe within the next few hits, making sure every inch of his backside was covered in some sort of sordid mark. He was holding up better than he normally did though his knuckles were white and tensed around the headboard. His toes were digging into the sheets as he rocked himself slowly, trying to ease off the heavy burn in his flesh. I propped myself by the headboard, setting the paddle on the nightstand “Hi honey,” I said in a bit of a mocking tone. He lifted his head, eyes falling on me instantly. “You ok?”

He could only groan, a bit of irritation and aggravation hidden within. “Hmm just...peachy.”

I looked down between his legs at his newly formed erection that was already struggling against the cock ring. I giggled and pet his hair back gently, narrowly escaping his teeth as he attempted to bite me.

“Oohh, my baby boy's feisty. Should i just leave you here like this for another hour? Not even touching you? Or maybe i should make you watch me touch myself while you stay trapped in this cock ring.” His eyes lowered into angry slits but he said nothing. “Or I could touch you...edge you...make you scream your begs until your lungs burn? Yeah. I think i like the sound of that more.”

Johnny pursed his lips together hard. His mind was working on processing the upcoming plans and possibly on a way to give me the cold shoulder later on while i got to work on tossing his pants off completely and shoving him against the headboard. I swung my legs over his hips, getting into our favorite position. He looked up at me, his still bound hands freezing right before he attempted to touch me. He knew he was teetering on a fine line and wasn't going to push it just yet. I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head while my hips hovered above his straining cock. His eyes stayed locked onto the small gap of space between our heat waiting for the first brush of contact. I let him have it, gliding the mesh fabric of my panties over his cock, circling my hips slightly when my clit met his head.

Johnny swallowed back a gasp biting his lip hard to keep himself steady. I fell into a slow and easy rhythm of rocking my hips against him, the thin fabric between us adding just a bit more friction and sending my nerves ablaze. I was focusing on rubbing my clit against his head, feeling his pre cum seep onto his stomach. The grip i had on his wrists tightened, my breath becoming a rough staccato. Meanwhile, Johnny was trying to increase the painful grind, digging his hips up into me. “Please…”

God, that perfect little beg always drove me crazy. He knew it to. Hed pout out his full lips, lick them so they'd glisten and entice me more and toss his head back, exposing his neck for choking, biting or both. And just when i would let go of his wrist hed try and touch me. I knew his game and he wasn't going to win this time. “Please? Please what, Johnny? Use your words.” I sunk my teeth into his neck, pulling blood to the surface and creating a deep mark. He arched up against me, letting out a soft hiss that turned into a strangled groan. I edged my hips up his torso, letting his cockhead press ever so slightly against my entrance.

“Fuck! Please, baby…let me fuck you.”

“Hmm, absolutely not.” I lowered my head to lick at his lips, tracing my tongue over his top lip and giving it a sweet kiss. He reached his tongue out to meet mine, sucking it slowly into his mouth and humming around it. I pulled away just to tease him and he arched his head towards mine, lips parted and willing to accept another kiss. I let go of one of his wrists-being sure to keep a tight grip on the tie- and wrapped my hand around his neck, keeping him pinned to the headboard. A faint whimper escaped him.

“Please ma'am, i'll be good to you. You just-” he tried reach for my kiss again but i tightened my hold on his throat. “You just…” He swallowed back and i could feel the struggle against my palm. “Untie me a-and I can-”

“Quiet. Im gonna make you put your mouth to better use.” I wiggled away from him, sliding my panties off as Johnny excitedly slid down so his head rested on the pillow. I resumed my position on him, my knees now on either side of his head. “Get to work, brat.”

He nodded and pressed his lips against my heat, already prying his tongue through my folds as he growled hungrily against me. He swirled his tongue against my clit before sucking it fully into his mouth. My head fell back and i closed my eyes reveling in the hot wet sucks and kisses he gifted me with. I edged myself forward commanding his tongue to flick into my eager hole. I wanted some form of release myself. Seeing him tied up and spanking him always made my hormones rush into overdrive. I was trying to stay strong but the way he was drinking down every bit of my slick heat had my thighs quivering. I shifted my hips into quick bounces, making sure he would dig his tongue into me, that was until i felt it disappear. I looked down at him angrily. “Did I tell you to stop?”

“N-no ma’am but...a-ahh it hurts.” I rolled my eyes and looked back at his cock that was making a mess all over his stomach. It was bright red and aching, crying out for attention. “Please? Just a little?” He gave my lower lips a few tender kisses, his chocolate brown puppy dog eyes getting to me. I grumbled angrily and accepted his little conquest before adjusting myself so my stomach pressed against his chest in a sixty-nine.

I lapped at the precum that had settled between the grooves of his abs, trying to hide the coy little moan i let out as soon as i tasted him. I trailed my tongue up to his slit, digging the tip in just enough to get him squirming. Meanwhile, my nails raked along his shaft, tracing veins that pulsated with each tantalizing stroke. Johnny pressed his hips up, just a minimal inch, trying to get me to take him into my mouth and i gave in. My lips wrapped around his head enveloping him in heated pulls. I felt his fingers wrap around my ass, pulling me closer while his thumbs spread my hole wide. His tongue resumed its rightful place inside me carving out patterns against my walls.

I swallowed hard around him, trying to get my mind to focus on his torture when all i could really think about was my pleasure. I rocked myself slowly, my mouth slurping him down each time i went forward and his tongue disappearing inside me when i went back. His deep moans were vibrating against my lips making me clench around him and i returned the sentiment. His cock throbbed against my palm as i stroked what i couldnt fit in my mouth edging him even further. My free hand slipped between this thick thighs to grab at his balls giving him a rough squeeze. His hips jerked roughly slamming his cock to the back of my throat and i harshly landed a slap against him before pulling away. “Johnny.” I growled.

He let out a deep groan as more precum leaked from his slit. I bit at his thigh harshly, gripping his balls even tighter. He cursed against my folds and his nails dug into me. He called out to me, my title thrown away, as he pleaded for me to release him. I glared back at him.

“You want it bad don't you? You're a mess baby boy.” I said. “You want this gone?” I tugged at the ring of silicone that was suffocating him. He nodded profusely, wiping away the sweat that beaded across his forehead.

“Please….” He whispered huskily. I bit my lip as his deep voice cut right through me. I undid the tie and carefully eased off the cock ring from around him. He let out a sigh of relief before covering my back and shoulders with kisses. “Thank you. Hmm...can i fuck you now ma'am?”

“You better make up for you being an impatient brat.”

“Maybe you can make up for being such a shithead then.” He chuckled.

Before i could even argue he pushed me flat on my back, my head dangling off the edge of the bed. Any protest i was going to make dissolved into a loud cry as i felt his swollen cock shove into me. My walls stretched and swallowed him down greedily. He wasted no time in slamming into me over and over creating a swirling fire in the pit of my stomach. My hands reached for him, wanting to pull him closer to me but he pinned them to my side. From over the swell of my breasts i could see him watching every movement my body made beneath him. Though he had a crushing grip on my wrists my fingers dug into the sheets trying to find a way to stabilize myself. “F-fuck! Johnny!!” I cried as my back arched against him.

He had never been this hungry for me before. Begging, whiny, and submissive yes but this was...I wanted more. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his lower back as i panted out my own pleads. Johnny finally blessed me with heavy kisses on my neck pairing it with slithering licks. I turned my head towards his trying to capture his lips but he pulled away quickly as if i had burned him. “No.”

No? My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean no?! Give me my kiss.”

“Now who's being a brat?” He smirked. His hips were slamming into me even harder. I could hear the harsh slapping of skin on skin that mixed in with his heavy pants and groans. I tried wiggling out of his grasp but it was no use. Blood was rushing to my head making my entire body feel like it was floating. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears, pouding louder and louder to match each of Johnny's thrusts that dug into me. I arched against him, my body begging for him to aim towards my spot. Just when the head of his cock brushed against the place i desired most he pulled away and i almost screamed. He was testing me and possibly this was his way of getting revenge on me too.

He flipped me over pressing me face down, ass up, his hand gripping the back of my neck firmly. When he reinserted himself into me i felt every pleasure point ignited. My eyes rolled back as my mouth stayed in a permanent moan, my fingers digging into the edge of the mattress. My ass rocked back against him as i felt my impending orgasm approaching. He was relentless and unending and i felt like i was going to snap in half at any minute. The pressure he was putting on my neck strangled my breathing, my chest struggling to expand but it drove me wild. I could finally feel what he had felt; the feeling of abandoning control, of trusting someone so deeply and feeling your entire body slipping away to a space of heightened pleasure.

And as my explosive orgasm hit me i sunk my teeth into the edge of the bed, screaming my sins out. A rush of heat seeped inside me as Johnny bottomed me out with a final thrust. His grip loosened on my neck but i didnt move. It was like i was frozen against him. I felt him place kisses against me, crawling up to my face where he hovered above me so i wouldnt be crushed under his tall frame. “You okay?”

“Yeah….yeah…”

“You sure?” i felt his bangs brush against my shoulder as he kissed my cheek. I nodded and swallowed hard. We shifted slowly so we laid on our backs beside each other staring up at the ceiling as our breaths returned to normalcy.

“So….” he said.

“So…”

“I think i might be a switch.”

“I think i might be ready to marry you.”

We both looked at each other quizzically having said two completely different statements at the same time.

“What?” we said again before laughing.

He turned onto his said to face me. “Did you say you're ready to marry me?”

“Maybe.” I buried my face in his chest, trying to avoid looking at him. “What's this shit about you wanting to switch?!”

“Dont change the subject!” He pulled me away from him forcing me to look up. “You serious?”

“Yeah….i mean if you want to be a switch and do...all of the shit you just did now you damn right we're getting married.” I said.

“So you're just in it for the sex, huh?” He nudged me playfully.

I cupped his face in my hands. “Of course not. I have to deal with you tripping over your own feet, and constantly recording me or taking unflattering photos of me, and you whining when i have to fix your photography website because you messed up the html code yet again, and you sending me cryptic messages because you don't know how to send a text without it sounding ominous. And if i hated all of that i would've left you by now. But the dick is a plus.”

“Ehh, you're pretty decent yourself.” He smiled at me. “Especially when you're getting fucked out from behind.” he placed a slow heated kiss on my lips, teasing me with licks and pulling away like i had done to him. “You'd make a cute sub.”

“Easy now, hotshot. I didn't get the hang of it instantly and you definitely wont either. Doms aren't built in a day you know.”

“I know that but-” His hand wrapped around my neck, his thumb tilting my head up to his. “I'm gonna have fun learning.”

[sentate]

SENTATE SPRING 2018 SHOW - COLLECTION RELEASE!

Had some issues with the first video but I’ve re uploaded it now.... and as a treat... Ive decided to release the whole collection for download! Follow the link below to download the Sentate Spring 2018 Collection! x

Thank you to everyone who commented and subscribed to the other video, I did read every comment and it means so so so much. and im really sad YouTube wont let me get the video back... Lets hope this one stays up!

I kind of did this as a tribute to all the years I spent creating for sims - spending hours and hours on Photoshop developing a skill set that I didn’t really think would ever mean anything in the real world… however through crazy circumstances, my years of creating for Sentate have actually ended up landing me an amazing job opportunity in real life!

I also just always ALWAYS wanted to make a fashion show on sims, when I used to play waaaay back in 2007 I idolized creators who showcased their work and treated themselves as real couture brands, which in a sense is very much how I have treated Sentate.

SENTATE means so much to me as both a creative outlet and a hobby, as well as the the amazing support and kind comments I’ve received over the years mean more than any one will ever know.

I can’t wait to share all these creations with you (Most of them only have one colour option; hence why their not all being released straight away)

My new upload plan is to spread content between both TUMBLR and TSR. - TSR is where all my current TS4 content is stored and I really like the sites format and posting system, for me its the easiest tool to use and being a featured artist there means a alot to me, in addition to they really helped me out when I was struggling… HOWEVER I think it would be nice to have some more exclusive stuff over on my tumblr that’s more niche, less mainstream content. Plus I low key miss having my own site. so stay tuned everyone.

I really hope you enjoyed this show!

[the-kipsabian]

Fife wouldn't reach out to Nate directly, especially at first bc she is insta turned off by bad boys. Once she is exposed to him more through Mads and Kit and Ayu though she warms up and is friendly(she was never *unfriendly* but def didn't go out of her way for him before she got to know him). Though after October she would have a meter thick wall up to him, just for how he treated her pals but if he ever went off at her it would be immensely triggering due to an old abusive "friend" she had

for 2 years who treated her like crap and she would just. Not. Get over it. She is super trusting but if you break it, it is broken and that is that without an *explanation* and even then. Takes a loottttt to get trust back. Fife/Nate/Natemare angst? Wanna see how you'd imagine it going down bc Fife does not drop her disdain if you deserve it.

➭ upon learning that fife is friends with all his other friends, nate would definitely be welcoming her friendship with open arms whenever fife wants to take that first step tho. nate isnt pushing it, he knows his reputation and everything else, but all their mutual friends are telling him that she’ll warm up at some point we promise and they keep telling fife that hes not really that bad honestly, thats just how he is

➭ i feel like everyone is going to get pissed at nate(mare) during/after october for the stuff he pulls around people, so even if he never did anything directly to fife, she would definitely have all the reasons to be upset and mad at him for everything he did to her friends, creating all the havoc and anxiety tbh. and just like with everything else, nate doesnt understand why people are mad at him, like he didnt do this, but hes still really determined to fix everything afterwards, cause while yeah he doesnt remember doing it, but people are blaming him, so hes gonna take that blame and fix things cause hes nate➭ if this is a situation where fife hasnt been directly affected by anything done/said by natemare, nate goes forward to possibly first trying to talk with fife, who just tells him off cause you hurt my friends how dare you. and then nate starts patching things up with everyone else cause he wants to show fife that he cares. it starts with kit whos mad at him for everything too and especially how he treated ayu, im sure mads is somewhere in between there in case he did anything to her (i have. plans. not gonna elaborate here this is not about that), and ayu is at the end of the line cause he just really dont wanna talk to nate, but in the end everything is resolved. so nate rolls back to fife like a month later, at the end of november and is like. can you forgive me im sorry i did all those things. and at least on some level fife would forgive him i feel like, cause well. nate took his time to make things better again. but fife might forgive, but never entirely forget. shes definitely watching you nate, and if you pull anything like this again youre gonna regret everything you ever did➭ in the mean time tho, fife will rekindle at least some level of a friendship with nate, as he seems to be returning back to normal after october is over and all this mess is being handled by him. they resume to hangouts and art activities together, tho i’d imagine more with a group of friends than just the two of them together, as fife is still a bit wary around him

➭ IF this is a case where natemare did something to fife directly (im calling like. the usual stuff he does. so making fun of something she likes and is important to her, say her friendship bracelets?), its a much more dire situation tho. like afterwards fife just absolutely refuses to talk to nate, about anything whatsoever, and if he keeps pushing the issues she would just. explode at him to leave her alone. so nate would go to the mutual friends to find out whats up. whoever is willing to talk to him, that is. and only after patching things up with the rest of the friends, hes able to get to the bottom of the things of what happened with fife and hes. freaking heartbroken➭ so nate. in his best efforts to fix his mistakes. learns to make friendship bracelets to replace ones that he possibly broke or to make sure he has one to give to fife in hopes that she’ll eventually forgive him? which, either way not depending on if she accepts his peace offering or not, leads into her giving him a lecture on the importance of friendship and “no nate this isnt the kind of stuff you do you dont understand” and its. just low key implied that fife has had issues with “friends” in the past➭ and nate doesnt want this situation to repeat. nope never not on his watch he wants to better himself and fix this. hes not really sure if fife will ever forgive him about it, especially considering what he did, but hes gonna go around asking for help and what do and what fife likes that he can try to let her know that he just really wants to be her friend➭ in the end i feel like. no matter what nate does or how he succeeds, while he probably will never be fully back on fife’s good list, after seeing the effort nate puts into bettering himself and fixing his ways, fife would. at least be tolerant of him. okay hes trying to his best at least and he patched things up with everyone else he did wrong, so.. maybe hes not so bad? fife wouldnt consider him a close friend, probably more of a classmate than a friend tbh, but. they would get along on at least some level. also cause fife sees that he gets along with the rest of her friends again so. maybe this boy deserves a chance. but its a strong maybe tho

[despondentparamour]

Hey I really wanna get into marvel comics and wanna read more up to date stuff but i cant really figure out a good jump in point? ive tried searching online for help but its useless.... Im really into spiderman and xmen, gaurdians and basically and girl superheros cuz im all about that girl power

Good question, because comics have been coming out for decades so it can be pretty intimidating hopping into a series that has had over 500 issues. I’ve only read like a couple thousand comics, which sounds like a lot but really isn’t, you’re never going to read them all, but you can read what you like!

Personally, I think the 2004 Astonishing X-Men #1, written by Joss Whedon, can be a pretty good starting point. You read #1-24, then the Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1 that follows that up. Big drop in quality for Astonishing for a bit after that, maybe leave it there and come back to it another time. Next, what I consider the main X-Men series, Uncanny X-Men, you can start at about #500 (2008) and go up to #544 (2011) where it cuts off.

You can also read solo series for X-Men characters, such as Mystique #1-24 from 2003-05, which is one of my favorite solo series ever. Or go with Wolverine #1-74 from 2003 to 09. Whoever you’re into honestly.But perhaps a good place to start for X-Men comics this decade would be the Schism event with this reading order (2011) along with Generation Hope #1-17 (2011-12). That can lead you into Uncanny X-Men #1-20 (2011-12), into the Avengers vs X-Men event. 

Guardians of the Galaxy comic books typically involve a lot of sci-fi Cosmic Marvel mess which low-key bores me so I generally avoid all that, but, the Annihilation event back from 2005/06 was pretty good, and seems like a good starting point for all that space shit. Here’s a reading order for that.

Spider-Man is my favorite superhero, but there’s no way I’d start at Amazing Spider-Man #1 from half a century ago, you know. When I was reading the main series, I started at #500 (from 2003), saw it was the third book in a 3 parter, and so went from #498 on up. If you wanted more recent, you could maybe just start at Superior Spider-Man from 2013 and read the 33 issues of that (which happen to be some of my favorite Spidey comics ever).

For female superheroes like Carol Danvers or She-Hulk, here’s a post for Carol comics I made a couple years ago. Like that post says, Ms. Marvel #1-50 from 2006 to 2010 is where I started on her books, before she became Captain Marvel.She-Hulk is my 2nd favorite Avenger, after Spider-Man, I started off with She-Hulk #1-12 from 2004-2005. Then her next series, She-Hulk #1-38 from 2005-2009.X-23, Laura Kinney, I really enjoyed her comics, particularly X-23 #1-21 (2010-12). If you like Natasha, Black Widow #1-20 (2014-15) started off well, I didn’t finish (not because it was bad, I just got busy)

You didn’t mention this group, but the Runaways comics are great starting comics also. #1-18 from 2003 to 2004. I haven’t watched their TV show on Hulu but it’s allegedly pretty good too.

Back to where I mentioned Avengers vs X-Men, you could also start off at another large event like the first Civil War or House of M. I can’t say characters are always written very well in character during large events like that, but you get to see tons of different characters you might not ordinarily come across, and there are lots of tie-in comics which lets you get a taste of what a character or team’s comics are like, and you can branch off from there however you want.

Anyway, there are tons of comics, and you can really start anywhere you want to, nobody’s judging you. I’ve been pretty behind for the last couple years on comics, so maybe there might be a better starting point for you some time in the last year or 2, but this should be fine. Have fun!

[criquette-was-here]

A Bit of Sunday Replies

Some mixed replies today. These goes for Anons asking about ‘Rural Charm T&RDR’ mostly and few comment replies for @loch-pearl, @pensblr, @immerso-sims, @mysimmylicioussims, @alexbgd, @doowydoog, @driftsatellite and @badchriss. Let’s go!

@loch-pearl said:

Can I move to any of your neighborhoods, please?..

Oh, you’re more than welcome! ^__^ I actually would love to move somewhere over there myself, though. I always imagine my hoods very silent and peaceful. Soaked in nature. Very few people or no people at all. Like a small town or village in low tourist season far from mainstream routes. 

@pensblr said:

Looks fantastic! Glad you're getting to enjoy the game a bit before getting back to real life things.

Thanks! Yes, it’s always good for me to get some hood decorating once in a while.

@immerso-sims said:

You know, your attention to detail always amazes me. Everything looks very real. :)

Oh, thanks ^__^’ neighborhood mode is my favourite in TS2. I can’t stop adding details because one bigger detail gets me to a dozen of smaller ones, etc. I always think about how this place would look if it was real. Something like that.

@mysimmylicioussims said:

This looks absolutely amazing

Oh, thank you! Long time since the last talk! I hope you’re doing fine :D I hope you guys don’t mind if I reply these two together ^__^’

@doowydoog said:

I wish you would upload this hood. I could never create something this beautiful. You need to do us a favor and upload it with all the fixings! :DD

And @badchriss said:

Dude,you really need to make a bunch of hoods in your unique and breathtaking style and upload them some time.Your work is pure perfection,keep up the amazing work.

Oh, the main issue on this subject, guys, is that while I’m working on the hood that might be released, I always come up with something that is definitely a must, and start working on it, and than it turns out that the hood I’ve worked on needs a total remake >.< But yeah, since I’ve done mostly everything I’ve had in mind that affects global things like night lighting textures, road defaults and some fixes, I would definitely create and release some random, not too customized (i.e. using just hood decos I’ve already released and will be releasing in the closest feature) hood. I’d really like to do that!

@alexbgd said:

omg! :D

Cheers! Have a biscuit! 🍪 :D

Now to some Anon Replies! Anonymous said:

hey criquette! this may be out of your purview but i have an issue with the modifyneighborhoodterrain cheat where often the level function doesn't work; pressing \ does nothing. it works SOMETIMES, but usually not, and seems to be completely random as to whether it does or doesn't. i know you use the cheat a fair amount so i'm wondering if 1. this has ever happened to you and 2. you have any idea what might be causing it? im at a loss.

ps from modifyneighborhoodterrain anon: THANK YOU for all your hard work and the beautiful cc you create! you make my neighborhoods so beautiful <3

Hey Anon! Thanks for the kind words ^__^ Seriously, this is quite weird issue you have with that tool. I’ve never experienced something like that. And yes, I use this cheat when I need to add a narrow canal to the hood or improve the landscape a bit. I got used to the way it works, but I wouldn’t say that it fails on me once in a while. Maybe you level the terrain starting from the wrong corner? Because it levels the ground to the height of the point you’ve started selecting the area from.

Anonymous said:

This is random but do you think it's possible to make the in game snapshot cam better, like even with it ticked to high quality and size it compresses and gets grainy and weird. Do you think somehow modders would be able to upgrade it?             

Hey there! I definitely would recommend to use third party snapshot software available out there as I do myself and most simmers do. I think nobody would spend their time and effort on modding stuff like this. I can’t even remember the hot keys for in-game camera ^__^

Anonymous said:

Hello! Just want to say that your roads are absolutely wonderful however i'm having a slight problem with the sidewalk. It might be because I have a shaky hand but I cant seem to get them to line up properly (even with true grid on) and it looks like a mess in lot view, which is a shame as the sidewalk compliments the road so well! I could be doing something wrong but if not, are you planning to release a version with the sidewalk integrated? Keep up the amazing work!!!

Hello there Anon! Yes, I think releasing a version with integrated sidewalks is possible at some point in the future, but it would take quite some time I’m afraid. As for the sidewalk pieces placing, yes, I’m totally in agreement with you because it’s very hard to get this look okay especially when combined with real Maxis neigborhood road. I have one small hint though, not sure if it would help and may be you’re doing it that way already, but if you use True Grid, try to stick outer side of the sidewalk along with tile border as precise as possible, because it’s impossible to rely on the roadside border of neighborhood road since its levitation and what looks okay in the current view angle, would look like a disaster in another view angle or lot mode.

Anonymous said:

Hi Criquette! I just wanted to ask something real quick about your Rural Charm T&RDR. So I download the road overlays but they aren't showing up in Decorative>Miscellaneous? Any clue on to why that is? I really love your road textures, but this is really throwing me from them... Thank you in advance! Keep up the amazing work! You are a blessing to the cc community!!

Oh, thank you Anon! And I’m really confused by this issue. I’ve just checked in my game to make sure I’ve mentioned the menu section correctly and it’s totally there. What platform are you on (Mac/Win)?

[dancedance-resolution]

please do not reblog, this is just a personal little note

i’m really happy with how therapy went today

it was my fourth session with my new therapist. i think i like her a lot.

conversations with my new therapist feel a lot more natural than with the old one.

with her, i don’t feel the same sort of pressure that i did with my last therapist. my last therapist gave me extremely rigidly professional vibes. and this new therapist is still appropriately professional of course, but she’s also more casual. she always opens every session with a funny anecdote about her kids, and then sort of uses that as a segue to get me to share something similar, and then based on what i share, she asks a lot of questions that lead us to dive deeper.

conversely, my old therapist always followed a strict script. she first asked me to rate my mood on a scale of 1 to 10 (which i hated doing, because i never knew what my mood actually was other than “vaguely in the middle i suspect question mark”) (thank you alexythemia, lol). then she always asked “is there anything you want to talk about today.” and i would always shake my head no, because the question is too broad to know how to respond. and that’s something my mom and i actually worked on together - starting around age 17, before each session, we’d written down stuff i should mention. but i was rarely able to say the stuff i had prepared, because i couldn’t get myself to say the words (autism symptom maybe? idk). it’s a lot easier for me to talk when i have a narrow, specific question to answer, and if the other person has been talking for a bit before they expect me to talk. and my new therapist does both of these things

and i like that this new therapist is a bit similar to me. she’s fat. she doesn’t wear make up. she was raised catholic. oh, and she has visible tattoos - which i don’t have, but my point here is that she’s not the stereotypical picture of Health Professional. and she knows a lot more about adhd than my old therapist did, and she knows slightly more about autism than my old therapist did (which was Absolutely Nothing, lol).

also, i think that this change in therapists was necessary. i was with my old therapist for 5 years. i started seeing her when i was 14. she had a very specific perception of me based on how i was when she first met me at 14 - a perception which tainted the way she responded to my current problems. and that wasn’t a good thing for me, because my outlook on life and self-understanding have changed a lot since i was 14, in ways that i never was able to articulate to her properly. plus, i was always anxious to reveal anything new to her. like i was afraid she’d get upset if one day i was like, “hey bestie, i know i’ve been seeing you for 5 years already, but i’m just now going to bring up the fact that i’ve had issues with compulsively lying to my father since age 7 uwu.” (i know it’s irrational to fear “failing therapy”, but also, it’s not as irrational as it sounds. because when i was 18, my mom revealed to the therapist that i’ve always been the type of person to cry at the tip of a hat, and my therapist seemed kind of taken aback and frustrated that i never told that to her. and yeah, it is understandable that that would frustrate her, but it unintentionally made me feel really guilty and bad.)

also, this therapist definitely treats me like an adult more than the other one did. i think maybe my old therapist was still stuck on seeing me as that initial terrified 14-year-old. whereas this therapist gives me a lot more agency and has more trust in me to know myself and my needs. our sessions do follow somewhat of a routine, but it’s a routine we worked out together over the course of the first 3 sessions when she was trying to figure out how to make things comfortable for me. (example - at the first session, she asked me what i want out of therapy, and i said, “i don’t know.” she took me at my word, and she didn’t shame me for it. and i think that that experience sorta taught her that she needs to be more specific when asking me questions.)

i also like she’s very open with me about her perception of me. like, today, i told her about how i started crying when a staff member from my community college called me to confirm that i’d cancelled my classes for this summer semester. and my therapist expressed some surprise that i cried because [paraphrasing] “you always seem very put together and articulate during our sessions. sometimes i’m able to hear anxiety in your tone of voice about certain topics, but for the most part, you always seem very emotionally grounded during our sessions.” and her honesty gave us an opportunity to talk about masking. (also, i appreciate knowing that she can hear anxiety in my voice, because i had no idea that was a thing?? like i know you can hear when someone’s voice gets high-pitched and breaks like they’re gonna cry, but i‘ve never done that during one of our sessions? lol, so i guess this is a little fun fact i’ve learned about neurotypicals, that they can detect anxiety in ppl’s voices even if they’re not obviously on the brink of tears lol.)

a few specific things that happened at today’s session that were good:

when i talked about my sleep issues, she actually brought the conversation in a direction i hadn’t expected - she started asking if i’m putting too much pressure on myself regarding productivity. my initial answer was no - i unenrolled from my summer classes. i don’t have a part time job. i don’t have any traditional responsibilities. but upon discussing it, we kinda figured out that i am putting a lot of pressure on myself to enjoy the summer, because i have this sort of doomsday mindset of This Is My Last Summer Break Before I Have To Work Full-Time So I Must Take Advantage Of Every Moment To Enjoy Myself. and that’s unreasonable - it’s a pandemic, i’m recovering from bad burn out, and i’m trying to adjust to new meds. she actually said a lot of things about bodily consent and stuff that i’d already read in the book laziness does not exist, so it was sort of like affirmation and emphasis that those concepts are good, valid, and applicable to me.

she gave me some reassurance regarding my summer schedule. my alarm goes off at 6:20 every weekday morning so i can attend mass. (i’m an atheist, but the structure is very good for me.) but i’ve had some concerns that maybe waking up so early is unhealthy and also contributing to my sleep issues (i unintentionally wake up around 4 almost every morning, and i started to wonder if maybe that’s because my internal clock is anticipating waking up at 6:20). we discussed the pros and cons of waking up for mass in the morning, and she gave me her opinion that this schedule is probably good for me (she agreed with my pro/con assessment). and she also pointed out that i woke up at 6 every morning throughout high school without as much sleep issues, so it’s more likely that the sleep issues are from anxiety. (and i’m going on anxiety meds starting in early july, so we’re hopeful that that will help that a bit.) so yeah, i feel better about my mass schedule, and i feel reassurance that this is a reasonable and good plan. she also said that she was very proud that i had not only the idea to use morning mass as a source of structure but also the discipline to go every morning despite the early hour and despite the fact that i have no external force forcing me to go 🥺 which was nice to hear, because over years of having undiagnosed adhd, i received a lot of messaging that i lack self-discipline, so i was glad to hear the validation that she thinks i’m a disciplined person (at least regarding mass, lol)

we talked about my summer goals, and we talked about possible sources of non-stressful accountability. the current flexible plan is that i’ll keep track of everything i accomplish from that goal list and then share it with her at the end of each session so we can workshop what went well, why it went well, what i’m struggling with, and how i could maybe work through those things better.

i still feel very anxious about this whole therapy thing (i’m still very scared that i’m doing it wrong and not saying the right things), but i felt especially good after today’s session. like, i’ve been in therapy for 5 years. i felt like i plateaued in progress a while ago, so i’m really happy that i managed to get something out of today’s session!!!!! that hasn’t happened in so so long (low key if ever…..).

also. IM PROUD OF MYSELF for sharing stuff with her, correcting her when she misinterpreted one thing i said, and having a positive attitude about how today went 😎. and i’m proud of myself for fending off feelings of guilt that i spent so long typing this out (it’s not wasted time, because it’s helping me process what happened today), and i’m proud that i’m in a place where i’m open to going on anxiety meds.

my life is still a mess. i had a fun little breakdown not even an hour before the therapy session, in fact! but i’ve made some significant progress over these few months - i started meds, i switched therapists, and i started (and am sticking to) a new daily routine. and i had the courage to prioritize my health and cancel my summer semester classes, which was a really hard decision for me! oh, and i also finally published that smutty crucible fic that’s been in my wip folder for over a year!

my mental health is still extremely poor, lol. in fact, one could argue that i’ve regressed in many ways. but guess what bitch!! i don’t have skooter ankle ideation, and also, generally? IM MAKING PROGRESS. that’s what counts. i’m very happy about that, and i’m very proud of myself for that.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 4 - "Now the fun part begins" ~Colin

All I gotta say....finesse

Look at us go✨ I say us because if I say me that sounds conceited even tho it was literally a hero challenge 😂. [HI THIS WAS BURIED IN MY TABS IT'S FROM ROUND 3 I WAS PROBS GONNA WRITE MORE BUT OH WELL]

We tribe swapped and I was really stressed at first because now im on the tribe that loses all of the challenges. But its fine bcs im friends with everyone now and im in an alliance with Ginny and Amy. I also love Danny he is literally under the influence rn im exposing him. But hopefully when hws sober he remembers how cool i am and we will work together. And Jennifer is on my tribe and we're friendly with each other. But honestly it would be in my best game interests to have her the one voted out. If it comes to that. Bcs Im literally working with everyone and shes pretty inactive.

Welp. Here we are. Swapped. It's a lil fucked up but I saw it coming. So I got stuck with Brayden which is like whatever to me, I'm glad him and I talked enough on original phantoms. But the issue is that it's just him and myself. Along with that its the two S.E.E.S. and one Fool. So I immediately swooped in on Jared, I tried to be relatable with him by talking about Danny and Shaad, who I know, and I think gthat brought him comfort. I spilled to Jared that Danny and Shaad know each other to show him that I have info and I'm willing to be open about stuff and talk with him straight up. We got to talking, and we declared that we want to work together WHICH IS GREAT!! Idk how much I can trust him, but if I show him loyalty and openness I think I'd get it back from him which is clutch. I need him to be the third with Brayden and myself, but I'm sure Jay and Elle are thinking the exact same thing. That's why I swooped in so fast, and I'm sure he'll tell them what they want to hear and theres a chance hes doing that to me as well (and I don't blame him, make your own decisions Jared king), but I need to show him that sticking with me is the better option. Idk idk I'm just trying to avoid playing my idol rn. I'll keep working on Jared, and I'll see what Brayden's been up to. ALSOOO APPARENTLY so Brayden tells me that him and Elle played together (which I knew), but he voted them out so idk how their dynamic is. Lots to think about, I guess now I actually do want to win immunity because I don't feel as secure as I did on original phantoms. But I def have Brayden on my side, and I'm really hoping Jared is truly gonna ride with me. Idols/advantages are also a potential problem here because what if Elle or Jay have one. I hope Brayden is just lying to me and he secretly has something too. I almost told him about mine but I decided against it. Much to think about, much to do, much to win.

I got an idolllll✨ lol so glad i signed up because no one else from my tribe did so it was super easy 😄 Tribe swap!! Sad bc i'll miss Colin 😔 real homie right there um i mean sure others too maybe lol I switched with Jay so no worries there and Anastasia I'm sorry to say we've never really clicked like we've worked together before (and she's backstabbed me before) but we've never really been like *this* y'know??? And Babs and Jennifer I barely talked to Babs likes musical theater and vine references tho so she's cool B) Anywayssss Dennis knows the pain of being a Starbucks barista and I was with Jared in the shape memory and felt bad for them oof so yeah OH! and Brayden helped vote me out in Kyoshi after saying he wouldn't vote for me... Dont Love That but also it was kinda a hopeless situation in Kyoshi kinda tragicccc for me funnily enough I was tribe swap screwed over but that's not like this time (if it is I will SCREAM but also I'm chill with whatever place I get in this game so eh) yeah i kinda made myself stop drinking caffeine/copious amounts of sugar for a year and then started back at Starbucks and immediately broke soooo I have no idea how coherent this is I think we'll do well in the challenge!! It's scavenger hunt but also I am working this weekend :( hate that for me ik me too boo so we'll see how much I can do I remember being upset at myself in prev. seasons because I went too hard in challenges and I feel like in this one I just don't have the time to 😂 the way to get priorities is to get a life apparently lol kidding but also am I??? Idk kinda forgot what I was talking about. Yay in the Phantom tribe now and we will crush this challenge✨

This tribe is getting on my nerves. 2 of them are super nice and I'd love to work with them but I don't know how the pre-alliances worked before this tribe. I really enjoy Amy and Anastasia but trying to talk to Ginnifer is like pulling teeth and Jennifer still hasn't said....anything.

https://youtu.be/maj4CRLrsjQ sorry this is really long i didnt mean to

My tribe is going to council.

At first, I thought I was SCREWED because I got neither Amy, Dennis, or Brayden from my OG tribe for the swap. I barely spoke to Josh, but at least he tries in challenges and we have that going for us. I absolutely adore Colin, he's experienced and he doesn't hide it, but here's a good support system and I see why he goes far in these games. By virtue of me being active, I can hopefully stay alive from this swap. As for the challenge, it's incredibly difficult to do since only the 3 of us are actively doing it, and with 3 slots, it means everyone has to do everything, which is virtually impossible. Shaad complained about his old tribe but a lot of his tribemates' confessionals about him were about him being inactive, and I'm definitely seeing it. Babs hasn't even accepted my message request yet. I absolutely trust Colin and I'm debatable with Josh, but I sure hope that he's not working with Shaad and Babs. But I'm 99% sure that's not the case because even Colin hasn't talked to Babs much and they haven't even been accepting message requests. I absolutely think we're headed to tribal, but honestly, that might be fine because it'll save my other allies in the other tribes. I just hate going to tribal council because it's never fun and it makes me nervous. Every time. But hopefully my social relationships I've made will get me through this swap even if I have to (at last, I guess) go to tribal council. 

~

https://youtu.be/FJOPBi8cnBk

The swap is fun so far doing a fun and hilarious scavenger hunt but yuck my face is sticky blech 

Okay I think I figured out a lot. I think all the idols are on my tribe. The way Jared and Jay talk to me shows me that theyre smart players and I realllllly think they both have idols. And the three of us are just dancing around that subject. So if we go to tribal, I have to move very cautiously and thats why im trying to get another advantage. I think Jay is going for it too, homeboy messages me in 10 minute intervals. I think I can only afford going to tribal once with this tribe, I'm just hoping we win out especially if all the idols are chilling here I don't want to play it yet. Ima just keep hunting i dont have a lot of thoughts rn.

I'm not sure where I'm at. I feel decent about elle, she has familiarity with me, it should be convenient for her and I to stay together. I do like Jared too...the hope is that he links up with us and we can take out Brayden. Nothing personal against Brayden, but I like Dennis more, and I feel like I can work with Dennis in a merge scenario. If we can get Brayden out whenever we go to tribal, I'll also be put in a scenario at that point where I can either go with Jared and Elle, or maybe Jared and Dennis. Dennis seems very low key and more social than strategic, so he's a good person to play with for a decent amount of time. 

Uh idr my last confessional or when it was :( we just did the scavenger hunt challenge and are waiting for results and i really hope we don't have to go to tribal bc what a crappy birthday present that'd be!! Bc my birthday is tomorrow :)))))) I hope people remember bc I'm not going to say anything 😶 just to see who remembereddddd probs no one and ill break midday or maybe I'll leave it alone who knows! I'm going on a picnic tomorrow tho and then probs celebrating with fam so it'd be a bad day for a tribal :( OMG what if I got voted out on My Birthday that'd be so r00d but like kinda iconic too very memorable 21st brithday the one where I was voted out Metaverse... anyways uh hope we win this challenge lol 😅

Okay so it's cute and all that we won but Miss Jennifer needs to go ASAP. I low-key wanted to go to tribal just so I could let her GO, but it's whatever. I get a day to chill finally. I don't have to think as hard anymore. I feel good.

~

I think the thing I am very interested in seeing is what's about to happen with Shaad in that tribe.

~

But also, I really love Amy. I think she's really gonna be good for me.

okay i've been slacking on confessionals so im gonna pretend this is like 2 days ago and make one solely about the swap AHHH TRIBE SWAP i'm kinda excited that none of my alliance members are on my new tribe. that seems opposite but its gonna give me a better chance to branch out and make new connections, then when merge hits rekindle the old alliance that existed pre swap. hopefully that all pans out!! immediately I started vibing with Jodi. she's an absolute QUEEN and we match each other's energies perfectly. we've been shading others in the tribe, joking around, connecting personally, it's been great!! honestly i knew within like the first 20 mins I wanted to duo with her and be a f2. the rest of the tribe however? sheeeeesh babs and shaad are very inactive. apparently shaad blew up on his last tribe bc they almost voted him out... for being inactive? like sir if the shoe fits. pls fix it. babs is going THRU it and I feel for them. but... just say somethin josh is kind of a king. jodi likes him. he's putting in a lot of effort and I appreciate that. not sure if it makes him a threat but it definitely makes him an asset SO I approached both of them with an alliance!! and it worked!! i now have ANOTHER alliance woo!! with josh and jodi!! woo!! here's part of my host chat rambling bc I confess way more there than I do here i think Jodi and Josh might be like a duo tho the way Jodi talks about is kinda sus imma need to weasel my way in maybe I'll suggest a trio alliance as the most 'active' people on the tribe as a means to get close to them, then I'll use that to secure a f2 with jodi jodi radiates the same type of chaotic energy I do in games but she gets more bored than I do which is not good but more fun

~

we LOST but im not SURPRISED i feel like we shouldve won SOLELY bc I got SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE to send me a selfie. that's fucking iconic. one of my proudest org career moments. anyway now the fun part begins. gotta decide who goes. it's either shaad or babs. I think the easiest and most common sense thing to do is vote babs because they've been more inactive. but also its the first live tribal and I think shaad will give drama if we vote him off. and that makes GOOD FUCKING TV. so idk. options options. we'll see!

holy shit phantoms won immunity. phantoms stays the winning tribe 4 times in a row holy shit. i actually wanted to win this time and put a lot of effort into this because no ma'am i need safety rn and work on these relationships. just need time. speaking of time, im about to hit hour 12 of the endurance hunt and im starting to feel like a madman. but babyyyyy i want another advantage and hopefully another fucking idol holy shit can you imagine???? i still haven't told anyone and my lips are gonna remain sealed. however i still think that yall are messy and set up my tribe where u knew brayden and i werent super close and from what ive gathered jay and elle weren't close either. so u put the two pairs that arent close with the one fool. okay so what else could we possibly have in common on this tribe to add more mess? IDOLS!!!!! like the three people that got the idols got swapped onto the same tribe like that has to be it. so jared would have to have one, even though he told me he didnt but the way he talked to me about idols in general literally makes me feel like he has one. i was like it would be so nice to have a little bit of security and hes like yeah i know what you mean. like bro just tell me u got a fuckin idol already. so then jay or elle have to have one. and i am convinced jay has one. maybe elle is gonna gag me with her idol but im gonna assume its jay. jared has spoken with him, and i have spoken with him. the three of us feel really good with each other (but im pretty sure jared has me above him bc i got to him first). we'll probs make an alliance chat shortly. i recognize that jared and jay are good at the strategic part of the game and are really smart and just good overall competitors and ESPECIALLY if they have idols that makes them even more dangerous. so i have to work with them than against them i have to make sure that they know i have them above everyone else. i think three strong players naturally gravitated towards eachother and if we really all do have idols its so funny that we're not telling each other. but im slowly but surely working on getting it out of them but if theyre as smart as i think they are they wont tell me. im just gonna continue being "transparent" with them and we'll see where it goes i hope they dont catch on. also jays a fucking liar because we were on a call today and i asked him if he did any hunts. he gave me a pause and then slurred his speech when he said "i haven't done any" like broooooooo ur fuckin lying to me right through your teeth. im convinced hes doing this one because he was up early for some breakfast and his lil skype thing showed online status allllll day like i gotta assume hes doing it. even if he didnt do the first three like hes def doing the last three dont play dumb with me!!!! i am not the one baby. but actually as im writing this hes not online anymore so if he really was doing it maybe he stopped? so if he was up early i would assume he started at 7 or 8 and ending by 9:30 he did 13 or 14 hours? idk im literally going till i cant stay up anymore ive already hit the 12 hours mark now if i went this long i have to go for the w likeee i have to. thats all i got for ya right now dont ever ask me for anything again.

no joke my brain is melting pls help

~

i want a survivor wiki page :(

During challenge: https://youtu.be/IsGPtYtgnQ4 After challenge results: https://youtu.be/CgmLGWBvEhw

https://youtu.be/Yfsh_odV-Zg

The tribe swap really confused me. I was finally getting the hang of this game but now I'm doubting myself again. I also haven't been active much for the past 2 days and I think my tribe mates have noticed. I need to stay on top of things better if I don't want to (eventually) get voted out.

That this tribe swap screwed me over. It left me with Babs whos been completely inactive and Shaad whos been completely useless. At least I gained an alliance with Jodi and Colin but this is fucking pitiful.

https://youtu.be/pE207b8VRFE

can't wait to vote out jared and jay once jury starts

So I had planned on doing hourly milestone activities like calling a friend at 15 hours, eating ice cream at 16 hours etc and I was filming it to vlog the evening for my confessionals.. but my mom called me around 10:55 for a family emergency and when it was done it was 11:01 and my alarm got overridden by the call. That’s how I dropped and I’m really sad 😔 i low key don’t wanna play the game today but I literally have tribal so I have to stay online, even tho I’d still be more active than babs and shaad ☠️ I wanted this one so bad because the only thing I’m good at is not sleeping. Whoever went longer than 15.5 hours is now at the top of my hitlist, if I find out you also tried this hard for an advantage, I will take u out w my army. Even if it’s a superidol. The only good thing from this L is it ignited a huge motivator for me to play this game hard again (but not too hard) but have a goal and mission to complete. 

~

https://youtu.be/PR8XWvdH-Hc

~

update: i think Amy has it. I'll ask her about it at the merge, she won the 24 hour comp in her last org so it's very possible she gunned this advantage out. if she tells me she has it, then i know I'm absolutely her #1, if not, then we'll see what happens ..... 

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jared: He has done well to place himself firmly in the middle of his tribe. The two sides are definitely going by tribal lines at the moment which makes him the most powerful person on the tribe. Everyone wants to work with him. He will definitely be safe if his tribe has to go to tribal council soon.

Jay: This comes as a surprise, but Jay has bonded well with Jared. So much so that Jared listed Jay as the person he trusts the most currently on his tribe. This gives the S.E.E.S. side a bit more longevity on this tribe which is definitely in Jay’s interest. I can see Jared and Jay forming a tight duo.

Dennis: He is definitely in a better spot than he was on his last tribe. No one on this tribe has explicitly said they distrust or want to target Dennis. He’s playing it safe which is good. He lands himself higher than Elle because Jared seems to trust him more. If the decision was between Dennis and Elle, he would be the one safe. Additionally, he’s also sniffed out that the idols are all on this tribe (which is just a coincidence). However, he believes that Jay has it rather than Elle which is an unfortunate guess from him. However, what is excellent game sense is that he wants to form an alliance with Jay and Jared which could definitely benefit him in the long run when he needs to separate himself from his Phantoms.

Elle: It is sad to see Elle near the bottom, but it doesn’t seem like they have won anyone over with their charm on this tribe. Everyone besides Jay sees Elle as someone expendable if this tribe were to go to two consecutive tribal councils. On the plus side, Elle has an idol. If it comes to that, she may be able to keep herself safe.

Brayden: For some reason, no one except Dennis trusts Brayden. In fact, I would not be surprised if Jared, Jay, and Elle came to the consensus that he should be the one to go out of the two Phantoms. Brayden’s unwillingness to work with Dennis rears its ugly head as, even now, Brayden wants to distance himself from Dennis. He seems to believe that he is good with Jay and Jared when both parties have listed him on the bottom of their trust rankings. If Brayden is not careful, he is going to find himself blindsided and voted out premerge in this game.

Fools

Danny: Amy and Anastasia want to keep Danny in spite of their alliance with Ginny. It feels as if both of them want to work closely with him AND want to ditch that alliance. Danny easily has the most control as he has key allies that are willing to go to bat for him if things get messy. I even believe that he would be saved rather than Ginny if this tribe were to go to tribal council consecutively.

Anastasia: Her prior connection with Ginny has instantly landed her in an alliance with Amy despite the fact she doesn’t even know Amy like that. In fact, Anastasia doesn’t even trust Amy that much, but is still willing to work with her and pretend to be allies. Additionally, she has gotten into the good graces of Danny for whom she is trying to work closely with. Anastasia is the most connected with Danny which means she is the safest out of the group. However, Amy sees right through the veneer which means that Anastasia could be labelled as a big threat and be subsequently taken out at the early stages of merge. It was definitely a mistake to inform Amy about their prior connection with Elle.

Amy: What lands Amy here is that Anastasia doesn’t trust her. I was surprised too, but, looking at it, Anastasia would cut Amy over Ginnifer. What puts her above Ginnifer is her activity, however. Hopefully Amy can gain more trust with Danny and Anastasia and be safer in the future. Amy has a good read on Anastasia which keeps her in this position as well. She knows exactly what she needs to do to survive this tribe with the necessary numbers, but can she do it?

Ginnifer: I believe Ginnifer made a misstep by creating an alliance with Anastasia and Amy. At least for Amy, she doesn’t know how to feel considering Ginny never mentioned the alliance and just put them in it. It may have been a bit too presumptuous which leads to hesitation and distrust with the people she wants to ally with. Finally, Danny was also annoyed by Ginny being inactive near the start of the challenge which lowers her overall safety at tribal council

Jennifer: Where is Jennifer San Diego? Her inactivity and unhelpfulness in the challenge makes her the easiest target. There’s not much to say except if she doesn’t pick it up soon and socialize, she will be sitting in the VL.

S.E.E.S.

Jodi: Once again, Jodi has emerged as the tribe leader. Despite being on a plane for the whole day, she has been the most vocal about organizing the challenge. People are very attracted to Jodi’s energy making it easy for her to make allies in any situation she finds herself in. Right now, she has allied with Colin and Josh which easily puts her on the top of this trio alliance. Therefore, she is the safest person on the tribe. She has also been dictating this vote pretty heavily. I fear that Jodi just does not know how to chill though. Her biggest weakness is that she will jump out at anything and try to keep talking when she should just hold back. If she keeps playing the way she is, she will end up as an early jury boot.

Colin: Colin has attached himself to Jodi pretty heavily. I can definitely see this being Colin’s Final 2 rather than any of his allies back on S.E.E.S. The good part about it is that Jodi seems to feel the same way which is great. Additionally, Colin can hide behind Jodi’s massive target at merge.

Josh: Josh does very well in the challenges which keeps him in people’s good graces. His activity definitely helps him survive this tribe as well. He has found himself allied with Jodi out of necessity though. I do not doubt that Colin and Jodi will leave Josh in the dust once merge rolls around and they have their allies back. However, Josh is doing the thing he should be doing at pre-merge: being good at challenges and being active. Anything more would put an unnecessary target on his back at merge.

Babs: Babs is never online and did not even try to help in the challenge. This leaves them low. However, they do still have a Vote Blocker so they can pull some shenanigans if they so choose. Additionally, their inactivity may be used as a shield for now as, at the very least, Jodi is still willing to gtry and get to know Babs.

Shaad: I do not particularly understand why the trio alliance wants to target Shaad. He has a pre-established enemy in Jared and is willing to blow up if he wants to. He could make a great shield in the future, and he would not target these people. However, they believe that Shaad is more useless in the challenges than Babs (despite Babs never being online). And, without any allies on this tribe, there is no one there to vouch for Shaad making his demise seem clear. I hope somehow Shaad can pull himself out, but it does not seem likely.

[thataspdfeel]

i really hope this isnt too intrusive but i was wondering if you have any tips on keeping up a good relationship/friendship as someone with aspd? ive gone through so many friends and partners over the years and i always end up alone like i am right now and im honestly lonely and my therapist doesnt really understand because he just said its for the best because abusive behaviour is common w aspd which made me scream and i dont know anyone who actually has aspd either :/

long answer so under a cut

ive kept this in the inbox and stared at it over and over again because of that fucking last bit like

fuck your therapist like deck him in the face. aspd etc people arent inherently fucking abusive thats not how that works. we have a really hard time connecting with people due to low empathy and have low tolerance for bullshit at least imo

oh also dont worry i dont find many things too intrusive. frankly, if anybody wanted to know how to keep a sex life nice, id answer that shit. like i have 0 concept of too intrusive lmao

also if youre lonely id honestly start out with a pet or two. that sounds really weird but if you get used to some asshole who cant communicate living with you, you start to tolerate others more. plus less lonely so win-win

THIS IS GOING TO SOUND HELLISHLY BIZARRE BUT TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS: try dating sim games. this isnt to make you less lonely but to help you get better at communicating with others. like this is an actual scientifically studied thing. i cant remember where i found this out cause my memory is bullshit but hubs pointed me to it. its how he managed to keep my attention for so long. he knew how to properly engage with me and keep my interest through practice via dating sims. and when things are stale, he goes back to the dating sim textbook. like brings me flowers or goes back to wooing me AND IT WORKS

thats not to say his feelings arent genuine cause they absolutely are. these dating games just let him interact with me romantically easier for him. especially because hes like the human embodiment of golden retriever puppy with sunshine out its ass and he can EASILY come across as waaaaaay too much and these sims taught him how to tone himself down. whereas for people like us, theyd help us to play ourselves up so to speak. or just generally interact with partners easier

now if actual interaction isnt your problem, that you make friends or get partners easily but have a hard time with the maintenance, now thats a different problem and requires a different solution

first, find people you find interesting. it's so much easier to pretend to give a shit about people when you find them interesting because you actually listen to them when they talk to you. and this sounds like bullshit like ugh why do i have to pretend. well you do. you have to with everybody until you make a connection. the key is to find somebody interesting you dont mind listening to

make sure they dont mind listening to you either or they at least pretend to this is because relationships whether romantic or otherwise all rely on communication and listening to each others problems. ive had a few "friends" who expected all kinds of emotional labor from me but would turn tail or come up with excuses if i needed them. those arent friends tbh. those are leeches and dont keep those people around. also dont be one of those people cause emotional labor should go both ways

communicate. communicate. COMMUNICATE!!! ALWAYS!!! EVEN IF ITS PAINFUL!!! even if opening up is the last goddamn thing you want to do. in order to connect with people and to keep connection alive, you need to open yourself up and be vulnerable. and it can suck! it really can! but you dont have to cut yourself open just for a connection. basically share what youre comfortable with at first

later, once youve established honesty (and honesty is the key here) later, if youve got an issue with them? you can bring it up and be like hey it bothers me that you leave your socks everywhere. or i hate that you seem to only need me when your mom is being shitty. this lets them confront you too about things that make them uncomfortable. and, yknow, change when they mention something (so long as its not ridiculous like you drink too much coke or i hate that you have blue eyes)

AND ON THE HONESTY THING be honest about your dishonesty. what that means is letting the other person know you lie if youre a chronic liar like me. you have to be like ok so i lie a lot and usually its about stupid stuff and heres how you can tell. anybody who gives an actual shit about you will be like oh ok thats irritating but ok. just dont EVER EVER lie about big shit EVER like cheating or something like that (i mean dont cheat in the first place but you get my point) 

ive had like an empty bag of chips in my hand and hubs will be like "did you eat the chips" and i'll be like "no?" and it kinda goes back and forth like "i see the bag in your hand right there!" "no you dont" until about half an hour or so later im like "sorry i lied about the chips" and hes like oh its fine i get it. but he knows that while id lie about that or brushing my hair, etc i wont lie about if i took my meds or not etc etc. like be honest about your dishonesty dont hide it or itll create problems for later

let the other person know when you need space. because we all need space at some time or another. be like hey imma need to flake for like a day or so my life is a clusterfuck and i need some time to myself. or, like with one of my partners, im like do you mind if i just chill in the other room with video games/books/netflix/whatever for roughly x amount of time. i let them know its not them (even if it sometimes is at which point, i do let them know later what the problem was) and that i just need to be by myself. and yknow what? its made us all so fucking close when we've told each other when we need space

be honest about needing connection too. sometimes your life just goes all to hell and you need a cuddle buddy or somebody to go to coffee with. its scary making yourself so vulnerable and admitting that but honestly? the payoff is awesome because you have somebody there for you who will hold you through those times. and if they wont? walk the other way

and if it werent already clear, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A RECIPROCAL EFFORT because its not fun to be on anything one-sided. you dont have to magically develop empathy or wanting to be around people 24/7. you just have to make the same effort you expect with others

anyway those are the basics to making things work imo. IF NONE OF THIS IS HELPFUL or not the case for how to make things work for you, message again with specifics and i’ll do my best on the advice thing. just your ask was kind of broad so i answered it broadly

i hope this helps!!