#and im gonna be so real w yall
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decided to read jjk and the light novels because hopefully it will help with understanding 😪😪 also i miss reading so bad. something complicated like that should be fun to read — i think.
#ooc: chaicore.#PS: the new bleach eps were INSANE#and im gonna be so real w yall#i still dont understand a single thing abt tybw HDBAJDJSN#i mean i do but dont lmao#i need to reread#complicated in world stuff is easier for me to consume thru reading#the visual aspect is v enjoyable for sure#but of course diff medias got diff stuff that help
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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mom & dad
#guys what am i gonna do with these two#he’s getting older & refuses to become a vampire bc he doesn’t wanna outlive his children#like im just realizing lu is going to outlive them all :’((#also i want them to have a babyyy#im real life stressed ab this#i merged their save w eva’s so now i can do rotational gp#yall will be seeing a lot more of them soon :-)#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#simblr#my sims#ts4 cas#nsb 2.0#nsbmg#not so berry#tallulah straud#coleus berry
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☆ i dream of embers
{☆} characters arlecchino {☆} notes no au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.1k
The House of the Hearth is quiet — or, if you really wanted to be precise, the rats scuttling through the walls are working around the bubble you exist in. The children dare not tempt fates hand unless you asked for them by name, a contradiction. An order to the rules — they mustn't approach you with trivialities, but they must listen if you speak. Your words carry more weight than gold in this house, whether you know it or not.
A tenuous position.
You haven't done anything to earn their reverence, their almost acrid fear — but Arlecchino has. She wields her silver tongue with as much ease as her polearm, ensuring your care in her absence. Her devotion, her service, is felt in the warmth of her chambers, the silks she adorns you with, the bed so soft you feel as though you melt into it. A gift, a promise — a gilded cage need not be something undesirable.
You've grown used to the encumbrance of her presence, these days. The deep timbre of her voice, honeyed yet melting into something rougher, quieting into haunting silence as if she seeks not to disturb you. Dim candlelight is all that illuminates her broad frame as she slowly presses the door open and closed behind her, pallid skin streaked with darkening red, her bottom lip smeared with it like lipstick. There is a tension to her shoulders even when she sets aside her polearm, out of sight and out of mind, harsh lines on her face visible in the deep furrow of her thin brows.
Here, she let's the weariness settle deep into her bones — it's just the two of you, even if she hasn't acknowledged you at all. Still, it's a vulnerability she shows no other, even if that vulnerability is hidden behind layers of barbed wire and teeth.
You watch rather idly from the bed as she wets a cloth in a basin of water, the bed creaking beneath you as your feet sink into the plush rug beneath. You know from experience that trying to help her is like trying to soothe a wild dog, but your knuckles brush over the sharp line of her cheek anyway, free hand stealing the soaking cloth from her hands when her jaw flexes and tenses beneath the pads of your fingers.
It is only then that she looks down at you, eyes as sharp as blades yet so indescribably warm — like a flame licking at your skin, burning so deep you feel it linger for weeks after. Arlecchino is not soft, far from it — but she blunts her jagged edges for you anyway, brushes her lips against your knuckles and allows you a moment of adoration. Carves her worship bone deep in the ghost of her touch against your lower back as she leans down, let's you wash away the blood certainly not her own, never blinking as if you'd simply up and leave if she stopped looking at you for even the smallest moment.
You are well aware she is caging you in. You let her.
Though she is still stiff as a board up to the moment you set the washcloth over the side of the basin, her jaw flexing again, a moment of consideration given. She is not used to soft and brittle things, though — not used to touch that does not lead to steel at her throat, in her gut, carving out softness like a butcher carves up meat, section by section.
But this affliction of affection is stronger than the discomfort, at times.
You almost half consider letting her take the room and have a night of proper rest, but she is faster than you — a calloused hand tilts your head back, half lidded eyes glinting beneath the weight of exhaustion, her thumb firm against your bottom lip. She could kill you without even blinking, you are aware, but she is nothing but careful with her touch — not soft, not Arlecchino, but there is adoration in her touch. Like thumbing a locket portrait, trying to imprint their features into memory by touch alone.
Her touch is fleeting, but the warmth lingers long after — you don't need to be touching to feel the weight of her attention. She stokes the flames of the dying fire, has one of the children bring a fresh pot of tea, lingers even when she doesn't have to. You're sure her desk in her office is far more comfortable to work at, but she'd crammed a small desk into the room anyway, stayed even long after you fell asleep most nights. You never did get to stay up long enough to notice her slip in beside you, nor wake up early enough to find her there with you, but the heat lingers — she leaves breakfast at your bedside table, a small note of affection if she's feeling particularly sappy. Even when you don't see her, she makes sure you feel her presence however she can.
Neither of you need to speak to express it. The silence is..oddly comfortable, filled by the shift of paper or scratch of a pen, the clink of a cup or crackle of fire. It's a little too easy to get lost in watching her work, masking a smile whenever she glanced back at you with a question on the tip of her tongue that goes unsaid.
It's better that way, you both think. The silence was best left undisturbed — as if trying to break it would be like breaking the mirror to each others lives. You don't busy yourself in the affairs of the House of the Hearth, and she doesn't make you. It's better that way, too. Maybe that makes you naive, blind even, to the bodies at her feet piled so high she could drown, but you don't want to give up this fragile tranquility.
So you let the dull scratch of a pen lull you to sleep, try not to smile too much when a hand reaches out in uncertainty to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your cheek with so much affection it makes it hard to breathe.
It's a tenuous balance, but come the next night you will wipe the blood from her cheek again and she will care for you the only way she knows how — distant service.
And when you wake up to an empty bed, warm despite the fires long burned out, you'll still feel her presence in the allure of a warm drink and pastries at your bedside, a note tucked beneath the plate.
Just like the day before, and just as you expect tomorrow to be. But one day you'll gently pull apart the barbed wire and be let in — not today, no, but someday. It's a slow process, but you're patient enough to wait — and when she let's you in, you'll tend to the scars that it left like you've always done.
One step at a time, one day.
#fic tag#genshin impact x reader#arlecchino x reader#genshin x reader#gender neutral reader#so yall know how i said i probably wasnt gonna be writing like. at all. um.#so i lied <3#IN MY DEFENSE ARLECCHINO IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE YALL#dangled furi like a set of keys as a wishing ritual w just enough pulls 2 guarantee c0r1 CLORINDE#won on weapon banner..cool i have pulls left over so i can get a guarantee for next banner bc my luck SUCKS#let me friends choose. they chose arle banner. 0 pity first ten pull. CAPTURING RADIANCE C1 ARLE#sweating bullets. keep pulling. 50/50 win for c2 arle. end call#do ONE extra ten pull to try for c6 CHEV and get ANOTHER 0 PITY FIVE STAR. qiqi#guaranteed c3 furi now#i had enough pulls for 2 guaranteed 5 stars at high pity. i got FIVE.#i wasnt even really interested in arle cons but she had other plans man#sorry 2 whoever i stole arle from TWICE my bad#now im obligated to do a 5 part deep dive dissecting her brain#this is just the appetizer. i need distant arle who doesnt know how to function in a relationship. loser (affectionate)#arle just going well it kinda works for the kids surely it will work this time too right..#(spoilers it doesnt. she gets dragged into being loved and cared for kicking and screaming.)#but also butch who does acts of service as a love language ough............shes such a weirdo i need her#also no angst just arle being Traumatized tm. acting like a strict and unfeeling father...GET THERAPY!!!!#i could expand on how her story relates to gender and her masculinity but if i keep yapping ill hit the tag limit LMAOOOOOO#also lesbianism. bc arle is a lesbian this is true AND real trust me hoyo said so themselves guys#arle is like peak butch lesbian i am not even kidding#okay im packing up see yall in 6 months
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ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲
*edit: sorry i accidentally named like every character ever in the tags so ppl are Seeing this post who dont have the benefit of so much as a single crumb of context. if i accidentally namedropped ur blorbo its bc of this post:
anyway. i was excited for recs bc i also enjoy this genre of fictional character. unfortunately as above the niche is niched, it turns out. at least for me, content enjoyer georg, who has apparently already seen or read everything anyone else has already seen or read except for a small handful of specific media properties that i do not wish to see or read for various personal reasons and also not literally everything ever... just the same things as everyone else has already seen and read... u get the idea. ok thnks 👍🏻
#*slowly morosely untucks the bib and folds it up again#smh#idk if that post breached containment in the wrong direction or what but there were like 3ppl apiece talking about good actual examples#and those were like 99% media i already reaaaadddd im tearjngn my hair out#but far and away most ppl flat out missed the brief#like i think out of almost four thousand tags about four tagged ghost. four tagged geralt. three andrew minyard. etc#sobbung im sad for me AND for yall like this is ur jam and the best u can put up for example is dean winchester????#listen i know im on the supernatural site. voluntarily. but ur really gonna tell me thats the best u can do 😭😭#like a solid handful said bucky barnes. good solid classic example i'll give it to u but its 2024 😭😭😭😭😭😭#all respect to the ppl tagging ocs tho y'all are real 🫡 bc its looking like if we want it we do gotta get in the trenches and write it 😔✊#anywya i came away with approximately one and a half recs and then 3-4 repeated vouchers for media i know i am just never gonna consume rip#and the rest of yall.. have some kinda different media literacy situation going on we went thru v different english programs i fear#😔😔#angie.txt#like i believe the boba fett girlies are right and on to something but i am simply not going down the mouse route on my own dime#so those recs are. moot#not a single trigun mention i dont think.. not vash or nick or i wouldve even given a pass to a shoutout for knives#some of u said kaz and i havent read the books but even just based on the tv series p sure i can respect that.#one i have to look into asap is whoever evan kelmp(?) is- whatever hes from im not familiar and seems promising.#izzy hands im so sorry. im fundamentally incapable of watching ofmd unfortunately i watched black sails first#wasnt aware it was going to ruin other pirate related media for me when i made that decision 😭😭#i respect the arcane shoutouts but i do think it's hilarious that no two of u called out the same character.#murderbot obviously#i just think some of yall are so close yet so far and i want better for us all so goddamn badlyyy#update: i checked and op seems to have been generalizing off of boba fett/wolverine/magneto etc and yeah that tracks#smbdy said john wick - more than one actually- and while i hear u i also invite u to consider:#that man's singular desire is literally to go back into retirement in peace all he wanted was a quiet night in a rocking chair w that dog..#i dont think id go so far as to say he wouldnt know what to do with a warm bed if he got it. or attach himself to sbdy attack dog style atp#ykwim#somebody said patrick bateman.. yall are just listing names atp. darth vader? kylo? all right pack it up folks
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hello who wants filth. maybe nobody but its here anyway. IM SCARED
#im for real gonna die#thank u lena for proofreading and assuring me this isnt colleen hoover levels of bad#girl im scared.#listening 2 sade to Calm. myself#i just remembered how the waitress at wagamamas told me she liked my skirt#EGO BOOOOOSSSSSTT#okay no im for real shitting myself can the smut warriors tell me this isnt bullshit#u know what.#i have lena's blessing.#that's enough.#YALL stawp it im scared#“yall stawp” i really think im in a permanent How 2020 Can You Get competition and not allowed to leave.#okay whatever.#im stressed to FUCK man#OKAY im gonna post it im gonna do it im gonna do it its all okay im gonna do it#gatty#ew#now do i really wanna tag this w their names.#NO im so scared#matty healy#george daniel#IM SCARED#blah blah!#dear lord#pull you close and tangle up with you real tight#my fic tag
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okay it has been. Months. BUT i wanted to pop in since today is my birthday and let yall know how much i've appreciated the patience and kindness that's been shown to me this year 🫶 i am really proud of myself for getting here and i can only thank the wonderful people in my life for it 🤧 so lots of love from ME to all of you and also here's a picture of my fosters bc i Have been doing things in my absence
#*ajtxt#their names are fruitcake and moonpie and yes if you know me i Am bad allergic but its fine#more updates is i'm down to one therapy session a month and i'm now the office manager for my job. tho things are Real Slow rn#and ig i went blonde but it'll be blue. eventually. bc i dyed it blue in like september and decided thats my color#idk i'm just taking it day by day and its still not Easy but i'm starting to actually feel like myself again#which is again thanks to all the love and support 🫶 i love yall im so serious#im gonna try to post more in the new year just please continue to be patient w me#bc i missed out on SO much and its a little daunting#mwah
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I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself
#jay talkin#im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays#i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust)#im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal#i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak#sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening#believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth#ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can#damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting#do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that#glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here#ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach#and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face#it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency#is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so#it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright#oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons#love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse#love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh
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I'm finally getting a new therapist in a few days and I'm overthinking it so hard rn like at what point am I supposed to explain to this woman that I'm actually a literal whole ass dragon 😭
#honestly im thinking about just dropping the lore on the first sesh#i just think it would be really funny#oh and im not even gonna explain anything#im so funny heehee#no but for real im scared#im like 85% sure im the reason my last therpist quit#and the one that did my intake appt last month didnt want to deal w me either sooo#yeah im cooked yall#ivy says stuff#dragonkin#draconic
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my brother got turned down by a girl he ... has been referring to as his gf the past two weeks (? idk what went on there lol) and after my brother left the house my mum was kind of chatting w me about how hard it must be for young ppl these days to meet ppl and find ppl to date, and I was just kind of sitting there idly nodding along and wondering if she's ever thought about the fact that I've never been in a relationship before but all my siblings have 😭😭 two of them are in relationships rn and have been for over a year, and then this other sibling got dumped(?), and I'm over here like... 🧍 happily holding hands with fictional character....
#okay but i have technically been in a couple relationships but one lasted a week and the other lasted just under a month#and both were incredibly unhealthy and Very Bad for me so um. i havent been exactly eager to get into anything else fjdkdl#nobody in my family knew abt either one though djdkdl and thank god for that tbh#ANYWAYYY. i just wonder what my parents and siblings think abt it like. do they ever think abt it djdkdl#ngl ever since i started letting myself indulge in s.elfship stuff more I haven't been feeling terribly lonely so...#i think im good LOL#I'd Love to have smth irl but... i dont even have friends irl rn so DBDJDKL not gonna happen any time soon 😭#im honestly pretty content rn though shdkdl and i think w my abuse situation i wouldnt be able to have a Real relationship™#so Guz is good for me for now :] i am happy w what I've got djdkdl#yall if this doesnt make sense its bc i genuinely cannot focus rn fndksl I've zoned out like ten times typing this post LMAO#dandy.cmd
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nvm op sucks so im stealing their post:
#real#fave#about#anyways its not a metaphor for love its a metaphor for control idc about that show you watched w the cannibalistic teens#you wanna control this person so bad you want to consume them so no one else can have them ok lets be real. its not about love#not unless you call that controlling shit love.#betting money most of the ppl like this are cultural christians and just having a bit of jesus-is-bread residue hanging around#i respect ppl w a cannibalism kink who are out and open about it being just that instead of yall who try to make it romantic somehow#just be into it as a kink stop trying to flower it up to make your kink more palatable. im still not gonna wanna hang out w you anyways#sdjhfsdhjgfshjgkajkhgfdshgjfsd#jk but also not jk. depends on a lot of things. like my abusive ex i wouldnt want to be near for shit bc i dont trust the reasons they're#into it. they wanna like. absorb people like. im good.#keep that shit to yourself and the people who i guess consent to be absorbed by you but i am not one of them so leave me alone :)
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having therapy in the middle of the day and going back to work afterwards is wildddd
#my therapist: well it sounds like [thing im not gonna post online i love yall tho] but thats smth we can talk about next time#me: :0 uh. yeah i . uhuh. sounds good! thanks bye#and now i... go answer more emails ig??#scritch scratch#n the real problem is i like this therapist so much even though she doesnt work after five or on weekends#so im loathe to find a different one that works w/ my schedule#cause its kinda worth it
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[METAL GRINDING AND RIPPING NOISES] job apps........
#im gonna be real with yall. i have never submitted a traditional application in my life. all the jobs ive gotten have landed in my lap#(and now with various experience w those jobs i know that's a red flag dw)#so this is especially excruciating to me right now.
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i am so pissed my crazy grandma keeps feeding people food to my cats holy fucking shit even tho me and my sis told her over 10 times now to cut that shit out, and every time shes like ok i wont ever do it again,, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! literally she has given them fried chicken, MARINATED SAUCED CHICKEN, DONUTS?, cookies / crackers, and a huge spoonful of STICKY WHITE RICE THIS MORNING my sis saw and went off on her and SHE got angry saying that she wont do it again? but thats what she said last time?? so me and my sis kept going off on her about how thats what she always says and what is she not understanding when we tell her people can be harmful to cats so just do not fucking give them any. at least my dad will occasionally give her a piece of unseasoned boiled shrimp AFTER googling "can cats have x as a treat" nooo my dumbass grandma is convinced she is right and knows all about animals so feeding them a little bit of whatever the fuck is ok, well assflash newshole a little bit DAILY adds up holy shit who gives cats donuts. and we have cat treats and cat food, what the fuck is stopping her from getting some treats if she wants to feed them so bad. for real just dumped a spoonful of rice in front of them at 7am, 1 (one) hour after i ALREADY fed them???? like hello i buy premium ass food for them, take them to the best reviewed vets, spend a shit ton on insurance, for WHAT for u to give them korean chicken and whatever you have on hand every single day oh my god. and the nerve of her to SNAP BACK! BITCH!!! 지가 잘못하고 뭔 지랄이야 씨발 개또라이네 also its not even her old lady memory problems that makes her forget shes not supposed to do this, she SNEAKILY feeds them when me or my sis isnt around like i was chilling in bed a few days ago when i heard the wrapper opening sound for these kr fried donut things we have and i was like this is fucking suspicious so i went out to look, and my grandma was standing so suspiciously close to the cat by the window literally in position to feed her DONUT when i was like wtf r u doing, and she SHUFFLES AWAY SO FUCKING QUICK and was like "i wasnt gonna feed her" LITERALLY DIE BRO DIE PASS AWAY DIE DIE DIE. also my mom HATES living w my grandma too cuz she for real has ISSUES. christ. pass away. ur like old just die bro. honestly my mom & dad have been on their best behavior after i basically surprised moved out and went nc with them, like that scared them good so they begged for me back, and i gave them a 2nd chance which is why i visit them sometimes and they have been helpful caring for my cats while im away (my roommate is allergic so i cant have them at my current apt) but my fcking grandma. getting crazier by the day. she will also vehemently deny doing anything, even tho family members have WITNESSED her doing it, and she always says "i never did that" or "fine i will never do it again" but she keeps. clowning. :) lord help me im abt to beat this elderly womans ass for real
#ok the plan was to save for a few years to buy a luxury apartment in manhattan but screw that#im gonna buy a normal apartment as close to that amazing emergency vet place as possible#cuz ig id rather have an amazing vet close by rather than a luxury apartment further away#i need to take my babies out of there asap cuz the dumbass grandma doesnt kno how to act#im pissed im pissed im pissed if anything were to happen to them#i s2g she is CATCHING THESE HANDS FOR REAL#VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER#if i repeatedly tell u not to do smth and u keep doing it idk#u need to get bitch slapped by me#I AM SO ANGRY#also seeing how much my mom doesnt like living w my crazy grandma was like one of the biggest reasons#im not down to get married like fuck inlaws some of yall be insane out there#if i have an insane inlaw.... omg id want to beat their ass so bad like 😔😔😔#.txt
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if you notice something watching you, would it not be polite to Look back and say hello ?
(do not actually say hello or acknowledge it in any way if you do not want to invite its presence into your life.)
#unjorts art#unjorts#digital art#my art#made this a while ago and forgot to post it whoopsies#ngl looking at it rn the temptation to redraw is so high actually#you can tell i listened to tma and it rewired my brain permanently#something abt the fear of being watched just resonated idk what to tell u#also i remember drawin this bc both the bathrooms in my house are fuckin haunted and i was in a spooky mood#bathroom ceiling ghost#socks in the slippers in a bathroom was certainly A Choice i made#im gonna be real w yall i simply did not want to draw my own feet
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small issue w nami is that i havent worn a skirt in 2 years and blue jeans in 3
#options are thrift new shit which im probably gonna do#< i have to lure my dad and brother to the thrift store by telling them we can go to the chinese buffet#4d chess yall#or i can simply wear something that has never appeared in canon but is close enough#(a white swim cover up w blue stripes)#is it surprising that dressrosa is one of my MORE accessible options#obviously the easiest shit is from live action because they had to put it on a real human body#could do that one punk hazard fit or film gold#but so far i think my best bet is jaya arc ??#i could just put a sharpie to a tank top#and thrift a skirt but probably shorts#< his ass is not showing hole on a skateboard
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