#and im gonna be so real w yall
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decided to read jjk and the light novels because hopefully it will help with understanding 😪😪 also i miss reading so bad. something complicated like that should be fun to read — i think.
#ooc: chaicore.#PS: the new bleach eps were INSANE#and im gonna be so real w yall#i still dont understand a single thing abt tybw HDBAJDJSN#i mean i do but dont lmao#i need to reread#complicated in world stuff is easier for me to consume thru reading#the visual aspect is v enjoyable for sure#but of course diff medias got diff stuff that help
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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hello who wants filth. maybe nobody but its here anyway. IM SCARED
#im for real gonna die#thank u lena for proofreading and assuring me this isnt colleen hoover levels of bad#girl im scared.#listening 2 sade to Calm. myself#i just remembered how the waitress at wagamamas told me she liked my skirt#EGO BOOOOOSSSSSTT#okay no im for real shitting myself can the smut warriors tell me this isnt bullshit#u know what.#i have lena's blessing.#that's enough.#YALL stawp it im scared#“yall stawp” i really think im in a permanent How 2020 Can You Get competition and not allowed to leave.#okay whatever.#im stressed to FUCK man#OKAY im gonna post it im gonna do it im gonna do it its all okay im gonna do it#gatty#ew#now do i really wanna tag this w their names.#NO im so scared#matty healy#george daniel#IM SCARED#blah blah!#dear lord#pull you close and tangle up with you real tight#my fic
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okay it has been. Months. BUT i wanted to pop in since today is my birthday and let yall know how much i've appreciated the patience and kindness that's been shown to me this year 🫶 i am really proud of myself for getting here and i can only thank the wonderful people in my life for it 🤧 so lots of love from ME to all of you and also here's a picture of my fosters bc i Have been doing things in my absence
#*ajtxt#their names are fruitcake and moonpie and yes if you know me i Am bad allergic but its fine#more updates is i'm down to one therapy session a month and i'm now the office manager for my job. tho things are Real Slow rn#and ig i went blonde but it'll be blue. eventually. bc i dyed it blue in like september and decided thats my color#idk i'm just taking it day by day and its still not Easy but i'm starting to actually feel like myself again#which is again thanks to all the love and support 🫶 i love yall im so serious#im gonna try to post more in the new year just please continue to be patient w me#bc i missed out on SO much and its a little daunting#mwah
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Okay wooowwwwe.
So apparently trump winning and the clusterfuck that was my emotional Rollercoaster from finding that out has pushed my mental health of a cliff. Again. Fuck my life
#time doesnt feel real again and also my chest aches and also whats the point and also i want to cry and alsi i dont feel safe at home#anyways yeah. clawing scratching biting and forcing myself to push through this shit but just fyi for uh. yall ig?#idfk#im probably gonna be posting more vent shit and end up fucking up and dealing with my mom more#so just. be warned?#god i miss feeling safe in my own home.#i hate hate hattteeeee sharing a wall w/ my mom bcs i cannot. cry. ever.#enea rambles <3#charlies mushroom corner#just. yeah. if u see/hear me acring more down and less. idk how u guys see me usually but whatever.#thats why. 👍
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There really is no getting to these people why am I even on this website lmfao
#people are so far down the jew hate rabbit hole its just gross#and the people who refuse to see how trump is NOT in any way equal to Harris is just#wtf is wrong w you people#anyways im tired of these fucking morons honestly lmfao#im just going to focus on doing my part to help others and ride whatever tide this is heading thru#because people are so radicalized these days its fucking sickening#and i feel like everyone always rags on about things getting worse but#i feel like it really has gotten CONSIDERABLY worse the last year#im tired lmfao#its not my job to make people see jews as human beings#its not my job to educate people on history they refuse to look at#but it hurts the people i care about so idk what to do#when trump wins and yall start killing jews dont expect me to help you#get bent#yall are gonna be crying about real fascism and im just gonna fucking laugh because we fucking told you so#so tired of it lmfao#just gonna take care of my own yall arent my responsibility
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trying to read more books this year so im giving booktok's babygirl a shot
#evelyn hugo#monique grant#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo#myart#im gonna be real with yall. i dont like it so far#it is getting better but the beginning is so rushed and i feel like i barely know monique cause she reacts so normally to things#but maybe thats the point and shes not the focus at all and the authors just trying to get her outta the way asap jhdfvnkfdv#IDK i only just got to chapter 6#i only have one drawing class this semester so hopefully ill be able to draw fun stuff again instead of just assignments ;w;
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I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself
#jay talkin#im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays#i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust)#im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal#i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak#sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening#believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth#ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can#damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting#do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that#glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here#ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach#and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face#it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency#is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so#it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright#oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons#love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse#love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh
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I'm finally getting a new therapist in a few days and I'm overthinking it so hard rn like at what point am I supposed to explain to this woman that I'm actually a literal whole ass dragon 😭
#honestly im thinking about just dropping the lore on the first sesh#i just think it would be really funny#oh and im not even gonna explain anything#im so funny heehee#no but for real im scared#im like 85% sure im the reason my last therpist quit#and the one that did my intake appt last month didnt want to deal w me either sooo#yeah im cooked yall#ivy says stuff#dragonkin#draconic
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my brother got turned down by a girl he ... has been referring to as his gf the past two weeks (? idk what went on there lol) and after my brother left the house my mum was kind of chatting w me about how hard it must be for young ppl these days to meet ppl and find ppl to date, and I was just kind of sitting there idly nodding along and wondering if she's ever thought about the fact that I've never been in a relationship before but all my siblings have 😭😭 two of them are in relationships rn and have been for over a year, and then this other sibling got dumped(?), and I'm over here like... 🧍 happily holding hands with fictional character....
#okay but i have technically been in a couple relationships but one lasted a week and the other lasted just under a month#and both were incredibly unhealthy and Very Bad for me so um. i havent been exactly eager to get into anything else fjdkdl#nobody in my family knew abt either one though djdkdl and thank god for that tbh#ANYWAYYY. i just wonder what my parents and siblings think abt it like. do they ever think abt it djdkdl#ngl ever since i started letting myself indulge in s.elfship stuff more I haven't been feeling terribly lonely so...#i think im good LOL#I'd Love to have smth irl but... i dont even have friends irl rn so DBDJDKL not gonna happen any time soon 😭#im honestly pretty content rn though shdkdl and i think w my abuse situation i wouldnt be able to have a Real relationship™#so Guz is good for me for now :] i am happy w what I've got djdkdl#yall if this doesnt make sense its bc i genuinely cannot focus rn fndksl I've zoned out like ten times typing this post LMAO#dandy.cmd
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having therapy in the middle of the day and going back to work afterwards is wildddd
#my therapist: well it sounds like [thing im not gonna post online i love yall tho] but thats smth we can talk about next time#me: :0 uh. yeah i . uhuh. sounds good! thanks bye#and now i... go answer more emails ig??#scritch scratch#n the real problem is i like this therapist so much even though she doesnt work after five or on weekends#so im loathe to find a different one that works w/ my schedule#cause its kinda worth it
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[METAL GRINDING AND RIPPING NOISES] job apps........
#im gonna be real with yall. i have never submitted a traditional application in my life. all the jobs ive gotten have landed in my lap#(and now with various experience w those jobs i know that's a red flag dw)#so this is especially excruciating to me right now.
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i am so pissed my crazy grandma keeps feeding people food to my cats holy fucking shit even tho me and my sis told her over 10 times now to cut that shit out, and every time shes like ok i wont ever do it again,, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! literally she has given them fried chicken, MARINATED SAUCED CHICKEN, DONUTS?, cookies / crackers, and a huge spoonful of STICKY WHITE RICE THIS MORNING my sis saw and went off on her and SHE got angry saying that she wont do it again? but thats what she said last time?? so me and my sis kept going off on her about how thats what she always says and what is she not understanding when we tell her people can be harmful to cats so just do not fucking give them any. at least my dad will occasionally give her a piece of unseasoned boiled shrimp AFTER googling "can cats have x as a treat" nooo my dumbass grandma is convinced she is right and knows all about animals so feeding them a little bit of whatever the fuck is ok, well assflash newshole a little bit DAILY adds up holy shit who gives cats donuts. and we have cat treats and cat food, what the fuck is stopping her from getting some treats if she wants to feed them so bad. for real just dumped a spoonful of rice in front of them at 7am, 1 (one) hour after i ALREADY fed them???? like hello i buy premium ass food for them, take them to the best reviewed vets, spend a shit ton on insurance, for WHAT for u to give them korean chicken and whatever you have on hand every single day oh my god. and the nerve of her to SNAP BACK! BITCH!!! 지가 잘못하고 뭔 지랄이야 씨발 개또라이네 also its not even her old lady memory problems that makes her forget shes not supposed to do this, she SNEAKILY feeds them when me or my sis isnt around like i was chilling in bed a few days ago when i heard the wrapper opening sound for these kr fried donut things we have and i was like this is fucking suspicious so i went out to look, and my grandma was standing so suspiciously close to the cat by the window literally in position to feed her DONUT when i was like wtf r u doing, and she SHUFFLES AWAY SO FUCKING QUICK and was like "i wasnt gonna feed her" LITERALLY DIE BRO DIE PASS AWAY DIE DIE DIE. also my mom HATES living w my grandma too cuz she for real has ISSUES. christ. pass away. ur like old just die bro. honestly my mom & dad have been on their best behavior after i basically surprised moved out and went nc with them, like that scared them good so they begged for me back, and i gave them a 2nd chance which is why i visit them sometimes and they have been helpful caring for my cats while im away (my roommate is allergic so i cant have them at my current apt) but my fcking grandma. getting crazier by the day. she will also vehemently deny doing anything, even tho family members have WITNESSED her doing it, and she always says "i never did that" or "fine i will never do it again" but she keeps. clowning. :) lord help me im abt to beat this elderly womans ass for real
#ok the plan was to save for a few years to buy a luxury apartment in manhattan but screw that#im gonna buy a normal apartment as close to that amazing emergency vet place as possible#cuz ig id rather have an amazing vet close by rather than a luxury apartment further away#i need to take my babies out of there asap cuz the dumbass grandma doesnt kno how to act#im pissed im pissed im pissed if anything were to happen to them#i s2g she is CATCHING THESE HANDS FOR REAL#VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER#if i repeatedly tell u not to do smth and u keep doing it idk#u need to get bitch slapped by me#I AM SO ANGRY#also seeing how much my mom doesnt like living w my crazy grandma was like one of the biggest reasons#im not down to get married like fuck inlaws some of yall be insane out there#if i have an insane inlaw.... omg id want to beat their ass so bad like 😔😔😔#.txt
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#uhm so like i dig that ppl enjoy my dumb pt content but like???? i get so very very worried?#like idk sometimes i feel i dont deserve likes/reblogs/whatever for my stuff? also i tend to throw very self indulgent traits into it and#LIKE!!!! how do yall enjoy my product?#like imposter syndrome is real or something? or w/e#ANYWAYS im gonna go doodle more ph n shit n funni thangs
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anime fans when people are different heights
#why tf are yall obsessed w 'minor coded' bullshit it is not real#im mainly talking abt#toradora#and#aharen san wa hakarenai#but this applies to so mamy characters that are short#ESP ONES THAT ARE ACTUAL CHILDREN LIKE BRO THEY HAVENT EVEN FINISHED PUBERTY OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BE SMALL#rambling#anime
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if you notice something watching you, would it not be polite to Look back and say hello ?
(do not actually say hello or acknowledge it in any way if you do not want to invite its presence into your life.)
#unjorts art#unjorts#digital art#my art#made this a while ago and forgot to post it whoopsies#ngl looking at it rn the temptation to redraw is so high actually#you can tell i listened to tma and it rewired my brain permanently#something abt the fear of being watched just resonated idk what to tell u#also i remember drawin this bc both the bathrooms in my house are fuckin haunted and i was in a spooky mood#bathroom ceiling ghost#socks in the slippers in a bathroom was certainly A Choice i made#im gonna be real w yall i simply did not want to draw my own feet
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