#and im extremely hungry
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omfg its happening

#sillywips#currently @ the airport waiting 4 my brother to arrive#and im extremely hungry#stupid flight made me wake up at 3am#at least i get to work on this XD
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smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before
#iruma suzuki#clara valac#azz alice asmodeus#love trio#m!ik#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#irumas expression in the first one went through lotsa phases#lotsa extreme frusterated and sickly faces#which felt a little ooc to me cuz irumas someone who smiles in the face of despair#but also we’ve seen iruma at his most frusterated and fed up in reaction to his parents#(at least until kalegos brother told him he was disgusting which btw we should jump him for that)#(and SORTA when gyari calls him ugly but that was less serious lol)#anyway i decided to try going for a very tired forced smile for this#abuse mention#<just in case#to me this is irumas parents presenting iruma to a camera for a family portrait so they can show off their darling little boy to friends#meanwhile darling little boy has been eating trash behind the mall they found him at#so hes tired and hungry cuz the last time he saw em was two months ago otherwise he would have faked it a little better#i think in this moment hes frustrated and a little disgusted by them#enough to almost deny the treats they dangle over him#but rule one (1) is iruma suzuki that cannot say no#im not sure i conveyed the little micro expression kinda frusteration that i wanted to but its close nough#style change for love trio suddenly iruma has lips my bad LOL#suits the theme tho! i think irumas genre; art style; life changes when he met those two#clarazz would hate being compared to irumas dusty ass parents in any way even as foils sorry to them for this post actually 😭#ANYWAY…#did u know love trio have the same smile?#fanart#my art
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Okay maybe im not normal
#this is EXTREMELY MESSY LMAOO#but idrc its still some noice art i wanna post#wooo#im so hungry ive been drawing for such a long time#my art#fnaf#william afton#five nights at freddy's#purple guy#digital art#fnaf art#fnaf william afton#fivenightsatfreddysfanart#five nights at freddys#spoiledmilks art#fnaf springbonnie
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what the freak taco ii at the dragon con


#inanimate insanity#ii osc#osc ii#osc#object show community#ii taco#inanimate insanity taco#taco ii#taco inanimate insanity#cosplay#dragon con#face reveal i guess#ignore my hair being bad i forgot to comb it this morning#i am extremely hungry i need to be fed#im waiting for someone to recognize me but ive had no luck#any other ii fans at dragon con#i will talk to any and all osc people who find me at dragon con#to be honest its just wishful thinking but there has to be at least SOME osc people here
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i've been very behind on posting things so i feel like i might be missing some... if u've commissioned me in the past few months and i haven't posted ur piece but u would like me to pls feel free to give me a tap!!
#i used to never understand when i saw artists be like 'oops i forgot to post this!!'#bc in the depths of being Hungry For Online Validation i was like WHAT. ARE U TALKING ABT. I POST EVERYTHING I DO THE SECOND I DO ITTTT#but then i broke that habit and also got busier/less focused on the net and now im like.#oh it;'s actually EXTREMELY easy to forget to post things lmao#esp when half my comms Can't be posted on completion etc etc#anyway. rambling. point is. hi
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started to write a whole post about starting to doubt myself immediately, but had to stop bc i was falling into an intense panic attack so fast like i dont think i ever had before- now being conscious again i deleted all the panic talk-
i know i speak from a place of priviledge, but also know that the priviledged should speak up- so i tried, knowing i cannot handle situation like this well, even after all this time
ill turn off anon for a while, sorry nice anons :(
#ganondoodles talks#anyone else ever had the side effect of a panic attack be getting extremely hungry all of the sudden?#god i hate how easy it is to make me get to a point like that#its been so long since i had my last panic attack and now im angry about not being able to stop it before it got this bad#at least i can feel my fingers again#.... im gonna post some dumb doodles i made before all this shit started#dont have the want to work on it anymore
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Another advantage of microwaving potatoes is you can listen to their tiny screams as they cook.
It is also the fastest way between sad raw potatoes and delicious cheesy ones.
#astra stuff#im just going to start saying random stuff here good luck with that#im perhaps extremely bored. and hungry#oh wait i could go write
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im so fucking annoying about caustic but i love it. someone will say he only eats boring food and i show up 1 foot tall being like uhhhh actually on pg.92 of the official apex legends cookbook, his favorite food is moi moi from okonkwo's you think his big ass hasnt Experimented with the menu 🙄
#caustic#also confirmation in there of my hc that he really doesnt eat enough#idk if i hc him doing gaea-equivalent rugby or wrestling when he was young but something very physical#and he just eats like hes bulking like once every 2 days#my FAVORITE fucking CHARACTER is an extremely smart scientist#making horrible health decisions out of their own mental derangement#literally chef making meth without proper ppe because..cluster a behavior hehe..#eating expired food and dog antibiotics when theyre sick#i also think similar to chef caustic probably does have times where he treats himself better#but when its bad. oh fuck.;#my life and environment is a manifestation of EVERYTHING#ANYWAY THE POST#caustuit incoming. they order food from okonkwo's and#shes sweating and dying from syndicate spices that arent on nexus#and caustic is destroying a plate of jollof rice with chilis lol#she doesnt know he developed a spice tolerance secretly like 10 seasons ago#i love them and food so fucking much im so hungry but i cannot cook properly until i get my paycheck *bloodshot eyes*#excuse my insanity i have work again tomorrow im still adjusting
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I could use a hand
#actuallyitschunk#hungry#fattyfatty#feedee belly#big stomach#sexy obese#looking for a feeder#feeder wanted#feedee feeder#feederist#extreme feedist#extreme feederism#black feedism#black feedee#death feederism#death feedist#huc0w#make me huge#big fatty#the fatter the better#fatty girl#im a fatty#fat piggy#fat belly#feedie#feeding kink#feed my belly#feed me#greedy piggy#stomach kink
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tooth pain will make u want to kys
#ive had it for up to seven months now and my dentist thinks it's bc of stress and clenching my jaw#its true im extremely tense#but i fear that coupled with my head bite malocclusion it has caused a fracture#idk what to do or how to check bc apparently fractures arent visible on xray#i dont wanna eat at all the whole day i just drink water then when i come home n try to eat the pain flares up n i lose all appetite#ive been crying about it every day for the past two weeks i feel like im losing my mind#like my dad cooked rice today i was so hungry i took two bites bit down on a seed or kernel and my chest immediately caved in#when i see my brother doing the bare minimum dental care no flossing nothing drinking only soda every day#not having been to the dentist in years never having had braces i want to cry even more#i love my teeth so much the way they look everything i cant stand that theres smth wrong with them
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the shift i just had….. literally an episode of fucking looney tunes😭
#it’s finals week and i work at the testing accommodation center so it’s sooo crowded and then im delivering tests going all over campus and#getting the paperwork mixed up THEN im hungry bc i missed breakfast this morning (also pissed me off) so I DoorDash food right.#well. he gets here as im delivering tests so i have to walk back tests in hand to get my food#then the guy can’t find me at all and passes where i said to go#THEN i text him except here’s the kicker guys he is Turkish and doesn’t speak english.#im crying at this point.#so then im standing outside sweaty as hell bc it’s also extremely humid out trying to explain to this guy how to get to my complex#im hot. stressed bc i should be at work. hungry. AND now im back and my shift ends in like 5 minutes#so the rest of those tests are nawt my problem bye#WHAT THE FUCKICURHDKSJDJ#*personal
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screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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it might actually not be a good idea to tell so many paraphiles 2 go 2 therapy as The Solution bcause therapists might SAY ur stuff is confidential but they really can report u for anything anytime they want ESPECIALY if u have a highly stigmatized disorder like a paraphilia, personality disorder, schizophrenia..etc. not that im against paraphiles getting help they deserve its just that in the current system therapists likely wont be all that helpful. just feels weird 2 throw out "therapy is the answer" with no alternatives & no cautions about making SURER ur therapist is actually trustworthy
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really do like the idea that spawn shri’iia makes a better vampire than astarion bc the environment is prob so similar to menzoberranzan where people are scheming and killing each other on the daily. like besides the constant hunger and her own gluttony ramping up to a 10x its prob not so different to her lmfao
#like immortality?? she’s an elf she lives long anyway#but i also like her being so hungry all the time .. and if she drinks from people it’s always so excessive#bc she was made from greed…!! and an act of power not out of love btw#i also think at that point her own morals have been thrown out the window (since getting in that scenario is an extreme left turn anyway)#that she does not experience the same guilt that spawn astarion did when he was bringing victims to cazador. she’s like 🤤🤤 im hungy#all this vampire shri’iia talk am i drawing her spawn version maybe so
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#being a cashier is absolutely horrible#my first day actually on the register was during today on black friday#it triggered everything that's neurodivergent about me#it was extremely overwhelming to the point i cried#sobbed even#i was completely lost#and apparently on my 4 hour shift#im not supposed to have lunch#but the lady that was training me told me to go on my lunch#and i was also really hungry so i thoight it was okay#but apparently it wasnt and nobody told me#also nobody told me i was supposed to clock in and out before and after my lunch#so i was on my lunch during my work hours#so i fucking cried and that same lady told me to sit out bc my face was covered in tears#:(#i dont wanna do it again tomorrow#i wanna be in my partner's arms instead
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I know we've all got problems with our parents to some degree and it's not really news to say that that can fuck you up but god, doesn't it suck? To know that your parents' love is conditional? They can say that they'll love you no matter what, but they won't accept you as you are. I hug my dad and he tells me that he loves me and that he'll love me no matter what but I know what he thinks about trans people. My mom will cut up watermelon and share it with me and we'll talk about little things and all the while the memory of her in the car, angrily telling me and my sister to never be trans, saying it angrily just because the thought of trans people made her mad is rattling around in my head.
That was years ago, and maybe she's changed her mind on the subject but even if she has that memory will forever be seared into a 14 year old me's brain. There will always be the memory of that moment of anger from my mother at the thought of my existence, even if she didn't know it was me she was mad at.
Conditional parental love. It can really fuck you up
#anyway. it's 2 am i have work in the morning. i already know im gonna be a shit time tomorrow#dehydrated calorie deficient touch hungry. and with an 8 hour shift. lets go.#my dad is okay with the idea of me not having romantic relationships im p sure. but i definitely don't want to bring up the trans thing#and extremely don't want to talk to my mother abt it. jesus no way in hell#anyway. might delete later#ro rambles
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