#and im donating $50 of my own money which is about what ive made from the novella anyway so its p much going to him either way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uncloseted · 3 years ago

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i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

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genius11rare · 4 years ago

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Chit Chat 111620 11-16-20

Chitchat 111620 with Jack Michael Jeremys Chair and the disembodied voice of alfredo (no he left after set up immediately , never heard him) id put “keep reading” if i knew how for this sorry

Jack: hi im jack with my friends michael and Spearow the dragon (jeremys not here , theres a spyro … pillow i think on his chair).. So we made the mistake of doing 2 minecrafts backtoback and it ended like 20 minutes ago then like “oh yeah we have other stuff we need to set up before”… Michael: yeah this isnt so much a chitchat it is just a chit not really time for a chat. Jack: how about we chit about recapping extralife? It went really well thank you everyone who watched and contributed, trying to get chat up right now…. Cuz we got Chit trying to get the Chat as well… this is the 4th year in a row we raised over 1 million$ , and were having some auctions for charity. Up for auction: 3D printed gen lock heads , pictures of the Spooky Hour (Gen Notes i thought they were done with that?) , the jon risinger bob ross segment painting , some f*face hats , some wood and glass sculptures (jeremy comes back during around this) … and gratz to jeremy for urinating and coming back *on time* Jeremy: hey my bathroom is a few steps from here… that whole time was spent peeing Oooohhhh better. Jack: michael , jeremy got anything to say about whats happened recently. Michael: no uh…. Just recovering… Jeremy: oh that was hard to watch michael. Jack: oh i have this picture i posted on twitter of fiona milking gavin…. Spraying milk into his eyes , sounds weird when i phrase it like that see if i can post it. Fiona somehow got both eyes in one shot , none in the mouth (the goal) just eyes. If you don't know the context it looks like hes spraying milk from his head like some kind of anime demon… then the paintballs happened…. Usually with paintballs theyve been going a while and theyve calmed down , that time it was new compressors and we JUST started using them for michael and gavin (Michael: “they” as in the paintballs themselves , theyve calmed down) yeah so that time they still had a lot of OOMPF and it was like getting kicked in the head over and over. Michael: no that's good , kick me in the head all you want. I went second just so i could tell how bad it hurt , so i knew where to hit gavin to make it hurt the most… immediately flipped on it like “he doesnt deserve this” and shot the face (which hurt the least) as much to spare him… i did do a few tummy shots but still. Jack: the crotch was also a good spot cuz of the cockblocker… problem is if you missed they go left or right into your thigh Michael: the thigh and stomach hurt the most … our thighs are black Jeremy: were also doing the vinyl Jack: oh yeah we reached our goal and putting AH the musical on a vinyl , plus a new song with Fiona ive been working with her trying to get the tone and everything (Gen notes im gonna guess its there so Still in the Air isnt…) … Jeremy wanna say what you offered up? Jeremy: yeah were doing the AH rap version 2 (Gen notes either A. a version with the rest of “The B Team” to have verses , or B. redoing it without HIM) , been working on a beat for it … ive written one verse mine so far (Gen notes , think its option B then) but i feel like its a little TOO mean so i may dial it back down a bit … the plan is shorter verses but more people , so hopefully Myself , michael gavin , Jack , Fiona , the twins , Matt , Lindsay and MAYBE a verse where the support room jump in one bar at a time , still in the works. Jack: yeah you guys DEMOLISHED goals, chads daughter she is so sweet… she saved up chore money and wanted to donate it all of her own , she wasn't convinced to she just wanted to donate 20$ which just broke everyone - well chad and i , caiti held it together, so we asked the audience to match her 20$... over the course of 10 minutes that 20$ became 65000$... we broke extralife we legit broke their intake of donations. We also had 2 people there who if we needed to hand something to someone wed give it to them , theyd “baptize” it as covid precaution then give it to whoever. Michael: except cloth they were like “you touch cloth you own it” … was like i could walk away with a lot of things right here , this towel? This towels done (Jack: you just going around grabbing curtains) … (start paraphrasing) we always want extralife to be like the best show ever cuz its for a good cause , but then this year we were like “how would we even pull it off”... i don't think 2020 extralife couldve gone better given everything (end paraphrasing) “fave extralife 2020 moment” Jack: my thing… Chad James is a freaking beast and towards the end the last segment we did was called the sweet and sour hour where caiti would do something nice and chad would get punished … it ended up getting stacked so we started doing some at once. At one point Chad is on the pummelhorse which is an elastic band that hits you in the undercarriage , chelsea was there with a leg wax remover , then we had cody from code 4 which is our compliance officer with hand sanitizer. So Blaine pummelhorses chad , chelsea leg waxes him and then cody sprays him with the antiseptic (michael: in his eyes… Gen Notes i mean hes probably kidding but idk it seems possible) … chads on the pummelhorse weeping and Blaines ALREADY spinning the wheel. Michael: its funny , theres so much stuff that happened and not just the segments i was there for , but a simple delight getting chad to eat that whole pickle … he was just saying “i cant do it ill throw up” and i just kept repeating “youu can dooooo iit...”... gave me some enjoyment since i was there basically to get slapped around , but in between i made chad eat a pickle Jack: so jeremy you have a fave moment? I know you were there for the solo stream section - oh i forgot about DJ JAAWNK how could i that was a blast Jeremy: yeah i was listening to most of the solo streamer section , i know Kdin had a thing where she gathered a bunch of people to do among us and it was fun…. For a certain donation amount they would just launch john mace into space , theyd just call a meeting and get him… Matt joined me playing spyro and i had the Gold Chonky spyro mods on , and if people donated enough wed spin a wheel that me or him would have to do.. We had to spin it like 15 times , and alot of them were “have to hold the controller upsidedown” which is a monstrosity… and twice it was me put a blindfold on and matt would have to direct me through the level. I panicked A LOT cuz you could HEAR the enemies shooting at and coming at you but i didn't know where … it was like a live Matt and Jeremy do something - your welcome sarah! (Michael: you did do something… Spearow… Spearowmint gum) so first were doing SPiderman Miles Morales PS4 edition cuz i don't have a PS5! Everyones talking about how they're sold out so the most ive done was when i was shopping for ovens i was like “lemme peruse the playstation aisle” didn't see one and went guess im not getting one… Jack: are they even selling them in person or is it just online… Michael: i know game stop is selling them , they're sold out but i know they were selling them.... Think most stores waiting for black friday to get them in store… i want one but im not going to a store on black friday , ill play fall guys if i want to get trampled Jack: oh yeah someone mentioned the ChungeScwa heist is coming we reached that goal Michael: fiona said i could be there, i asked can i help and she said something like “plz help , cuz otherwise it wont happen.” ive also offered doing a 50 turn mario party even though it wasn't a goal cuz we didn't even do last years so now wed owe 2 for 2021 assuming we can make that happen. Jack: cant you do a 100 turn mario party is that a thing? Michael: no 50 is the most , ive contemplated maybe we combine them into one game and scores carry over but it might be upsetting if im ahead by 9 stars after 50 turns and then it just becomes a 4 hour victory lap so its probably better to do 2 of them… we were about to do one in april we were planning on shooting it in april but then SOMETHING came up idk what it was … it just kept coming up for 7 months… Jeremy: and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming… oh if were going to show my PS4 screen lemme show how much a loser i am…. Jack: you got a platinum in bug snax?!?!? Jeremy: yuuuppppp!!!

#gen notes #for later #text #backed up #chit chat #AH #achievement hunter #jeremy dooley #ah jeremy #index #my post #november 2020 #idk what else to tag #keep reading #well would if could #chitchat

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cherryredicarus · 5 years ago

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do you prefer writing with a blue or black pen? black

would you prefer to live in the city or the country? mm in the city, I'd visit the countryside tho

if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? instruments!! i would like to instantly be able to shred my guitar

do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I usually only drink pre-made tea and i put creamer in my coffee

what was your favorite book as a child? probably milkweed by jerry spinelli or the secret identity of Devon Delaney... those two books could not being any different in subject matter if i tried fjdjfjd

do you prefer baths or showers? aesthetically, baths but i no longer have a tub so I'm rlly only taking showers yk

if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? okay get this: vampires

paper or electronic books? paper when possible! i like the feel of them in my hand

what is your favorite item of clothing? long t-shirts / my hoodies

do you like your name? would you like to change it? i like it well enough! my mom wouldve named me margreet otherwise, so i basically got stuck between two distinct European names sjsj

who is a mentor to you? any female English teacher <3

would you like to be famous? if so, what for? mmm in the social sense where my words and opinions have a larger platform and i'm listened to. if i ever made music, I'd probably want it to be from that

are you a restless sleeper? normally no,,,, but i fuck myself over during the school year and sleep in bursts so im up and doing homework at 4 am djsj.

do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i focus on the romance of friendship so much oh my God

which element best represents you? probably air/earth. kind of spacey and free-flowing but patient and loyal yk

who do you want to be closer to? my family but also not bc i disagree with everything they say so... conflicted <3

do you miss someone at the moment? so many :( most notably my friend raina and my friend maggie

tell us about an early childhood memory when my cousin used to live with me, when i was like 4-6, she stopped sleeping in my room with me and only slept with her dad. some nights i snuck into their room and laid on the floor in the dark, listening to the sound of their breaths, letting it lull me to sleep. i usually only slept for a little bit and then snuck back out.

what is the strangest thing you have eaten? eh i mean pickled tomatoes? dried crickets?

what are you most thankful for? cheesy but L❤VE! for my pets and my friends i love them sm

do you like spicy food? usually! i prefer that the spice doesnt overpower the taste but i have been known to down a family sized bag of xxtra hot cheetos before.

have you ever met someone famous? literally no. my brother met arnold schwarzenegger tho

do you keep a diary or journal? did you mean: my notes app (but also i do keep a physical one for when im feeling more volatile and i need to personally write something)

do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

what is your star sign? my sun sign is capricorn

do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? when i was younger i used to wait to eat my frosted flakes so it was soft and the milk was sweet djfjdj. but now i usually eat it crunchy

what would you want your legacy to be? mm, kindness in the face of the cruelty of the world

do you like reading? what was the last book you read? YES i love reading,,, however finishing something is totally different... im currently in the middle of reading stone butch blues and the foxhole court lol

how do you show someone you love them? literally all of the ways love is in everything i do :( but usually i tell them, im physically affectionate with them, i try to be super supportive, i become their sugar mommy, etc

do you like ice in your drinks? listen. if it's already cold. what does it need ice for.

what are you afraid of? my self destructive tendencies

what is your favorite scent? vanilla or tangerine

do you address older people by their name or surname? like in school, by their surnames. at my work, by their first names.

if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? donating to every gofundme i saw.... a cool two story house of my own.... traveling the world without stressing and planning meticulously

do you prefer swimming in lakes or oceans? seeing as ive done neither, uhh lakes?

what would you do if you found 50$ on the ground? if i knew who dropped it, return it. but if it's just randomly lying there uhh take it home and put it in my cash stash.

have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? no...

what is one thing you want to teach your children? *if*I have any- literally nothing is real. gender is a social construct. love and kindness are the only things worth anything.

if you had to get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? OOOh skdk i remember @killjoylouis and i joking about getting matching rbb and sbb tattoos somewhere gay. i dont personally desire any tattoos of my own but im so down for matching ones

what can you hear now? silence...the floors shifting..

where do you feel the safest? my grandma's house

what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my lingering melancholy and disillusionment with the loneliness of adulthood.

if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? THE 70S!!! DISCO PARTIES!!! ABBA!! THE FASHION!!

what is your most used emoji? 🙄 (someone was ranting 2 me ab straight ppl earlier dkkd)

describe yourself in one word. tender

what do you regret the most? literally most of my childhood years... i was so lonely and bitter and i just wanted attention any way i could get it... sometimes i made ppl cry and didnt care and looking back on it now i want to go into a coma!!!

last movie you saw? vita & virginia

last TV show you watched? she-ra and the princesses of power (the 2018 reboot)

(i was tagged by @killjoylouis to do this heehee love u sm!!)

now I tag (optional): @calmvocals , @noahvsart , @highscal , @h-isforhome , @cliffoconda

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astrofairies · 8 years ago

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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ lmao

i figured this wouldve happened

i don’t like chocolate ice cream alone. i will only eat it if theres something else in it (brownie, cookie dough, etc etc.)

that being said, i only like chocolate milkshakes. i will never ask for a vanilla milkshake

that also being said, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough

my favorite animal is an elephant. i will take any chance i get to talk about elephants, and my backpack and water bottle both have elephants on them.

i love creative writing, but i rarely get a chance to write for fun anymore

that being said, i love writing essays for school because it gives me a chance to write something.

i’m studying psychology in college. i dont know what my minor will be yet.

my favorite thing about psychology is understanding others without them having to tell me. i like to know what is going on in someone’s head. i think it helps me better interact with them.

i’ve only had one job so far in my life, but ive had it for 5 years now.

i only just got into makeup within the last year. now i cant seem to stop buying it.

every year for christmas and on my birthday my uncle/godfather gives me a $100 amazon giftcard. i only ever use this money to buy books, nothing else. i’ve been doing this for years (therefore i never run out of money)

i can’t eat oats

for about 4 years i did everything i could to curl my hair without using a curling iron bc i couldnt figure out how to use it. i still dont know how to use one, but i use a curling wand now

contrary to popular belief (as people keep asking me), ive never had a boyfriend or have had my first kiss yet. its weird living in a small town bc you grew up with everyone, so i rather not date them, you know?

yet, when it comes to what i find attractive in guys, i usually look for intelligence (look at my gemini venus ass). intelligence to me means good conversation and a wit (which i severely lack)

i love my sun/moon/rising placements and i probably wouldn’t change them for the world

that being said, i actually felt really bad about being a gemini sun for quite some time bc of all the gemini hate memes. but im over that bc being a gemini is pretty fucking great???

i’ll repeat this, as i’ve said it before: i am the farthest thing from funny. however, i laugh at everything

i don’t get along with my mother at all.

my favorite season is spring by a long-shot

i found out the other day i can only bowl with my right hand, even though im left handed

with that, its fair to say that i have no hand-eye coordination what so ever. this is why i did horseback riding for nine years.

i dont ever share full body images (just haven’t had a chance) but i’m only 5′1

i hate soda. not for the taste, but the carbonation. it makes my tongue burn.

i can read and write in spanish fairly well, but i can’t speak it or understand it when spoken to me

i believe i’ve only less than movies in the theater that weren’t disney related

i’ve never traveled outside of the u.s.

that being said, i’ve only been to 9 other states

that’s because i’ve gone to disney world once year since i could walk (well for the most part)

i think everyone has bad luck with at least one thing. for my brother, it’s phones (he’s broken 4 phones in the last 3 years). for me, it’s laptops. they just seem to crash and burn for me

one of my requirements for when i have my own place is i need to live within a short distance of a bookstore.

my dream how also has a balcony and a wrap around porch (or an alcove with a window seat)

i’m not a math and science person at all. i’ve always been more into english/history/social sciences

i really want to visit italy, germany, greece, and hawai’i

i can’t cook to save my life, but i can bake fairly well (so ive been told)

i get along best with libras and arians

when i was in middle school i had a club penguin blog

i also used to rp a lot with lonny and some other people. we started on a website called xat with some friends, and then we moved onto a tumblr rp for quite some time...

speaking of which, i’ve been on tumblr for six years

when i first started my personal tumblr, i would always reblog disney things (wow what a surprise), but then i moved into ‘quality photos’ and other bs, until finally settling on to reblog whatever makes me happy

i cannot keep a plant alive to save my life

i don’t like roller coasters that have loops in them. this is bc when i was little and i was watching jimmy neutron sheen and carl got stuck upside down in one. it stuck with me apparently.

i am a fairly shy person in my opinion. despite that, i was also part of my high school’s news broadcasting station as well as in the school musical for four years.

i was obsessed with webkinz when i was little. i think last i checked i had about 50?

im really bad at throwing away/donating stuff, because everything has some sort of sentimental value to me

i’ve never been good at journaling. this is because im bad at keeping new habits

as much as i love reading, i hated assigned reading for school. but, my favorite book was the secret life of bees by sue monk kidd

i hate wearing skirts/dresses. i own a few dresses, but i have not owned a skirt since middle school.

i prefer vegetables to fruit, even though i prefer sweet things.

my “artistic medium” is writing. i can draw, but not well (my high school art teacher made that pretty clear). i would definitely consider writing to be my medium over singing as well (though i do love singing)

i’m awful at giving advice to people, or comforting people for that matter. however, i will always listen, no matter what i’m doing.

i hate running. nothing else, i just really hate it

oh by the way, i’m left handed. no one else in my immediate family is tho

i cannot sleep with any noise going on in the background. no tv, no music, no talking, nada. nothing.

that being said, i also can’t sleep anywhere but a bed. i can just barely fall asleep on a couch, but forget about sleeping in a car or at school.

i get terrible car sickness. i have to sit in the front seat and i have to look at the road. i cannot read/look at my phone in a car without getting nauseous.

for every ‘⭐️’ i get, i will post a fact about myself!

#katie #this took like an hour to do #and all yall get out of it is realizing how boring i am #Anonymous #about me

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mavwrekmarketing · 8 years ago

Link

Snopes is trapped in a complicated legal mess.

Image: Saves SNOPES

Just as one of the oldest fact-checking sites seems to have hit its mainstream stride, it gets tangled in a dramatic legal mess, one that involves lots of finger-pointing, alleged backstabbing, and a contentious divorce.

Its the kind of backroom drama that tends to play out in secret, until someone files a lawsuit. Now we have not one, but two lawsuits, and on Monday, a cry for help.

Snopes has launched a crowdfunding campaign to build a war chest. And its growing quickly. It says it needs the money because the site has been held “hostage” by a vendor, who is blocking access to its domain name, ad revenue, and backend code. But there’s more to it than that.

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So far, nearly $334,000 of its $500,000 goal has been donated by almost 12,000 people. The love for Snopes is strong. (UPDATE: As of 11:30 a.m. ET on July 25, a day after it was launched, the campaign has exceeded its original goal.)

Snopes has become the go-to site for debunking urban legends and internet hoaxes since its inception two decades ago, but it became an even bigger player in the fact-checking world during the 2016 election. The site that started out with posts about whether Disneyland had a secret restaurant was competing with the big boys and girls of politics coverage. Its campaign-related posts even got it the attention of Facebook. After facing backlash for hosting fake news, the social media giant hired Snopes, along with the Associated Press and Politifact, as factcheckers.

So far, nearly $334,000 of its $500,000 goal has been donated

Now, for the first time, Snopes has to ask its readers for money.

“Its a little bit embarrassing having to go to the public to ask for money, but were kind of forced into the position. We didnt have any other choice,” said David Mikkelson, who started Snopes in 1995. Snopes is now owned by a parent company called Bardav, which Mikkelson co-founded with his ex-wife, Barbara, in 2003.

The vendor allegedly holding Snopes hostage, Proper Media, purports it’s more than just a vendor it says it’s part owner. Five Proper Media members bought 50 percent of Bardav from Mikkelson’s ex-wife last year. The ad-tech and web development firm has sued Snopes’ parent company to keep its control. Its lawyers paint a picture of Mikkelson mismanaging tens of thousands of dollars by using Snopes money for non-business travel allegedly including a honeymoon to Asia following his second marriage.

Proper Media cut Snopes parent company, Bardav, a court-mandated $100,000 revenue check last week for expenses, but Mikkelson is barred from touching it, Karl Kronenberger, Proper Medias attorney, said.

@snopes Community! We need you! #SaveSnopes – https://t.co/9rAPHrkVcd

snopes.com (@snopes) July 24, 2017

The court said David Mikkelson shall not use it so what does he do? He starts a GoFundMe campaign in his own name. You can draw your own conclusions as to what it will be used for, said Kronenberger, claiming that Mikkelson is running this GoFundMe because he “is unable to operate Snopes profitably without Proper Medias expertise and management.”

Not so fast, said Mikkelson. Proper Media’s just upset Snopes doesn’t want to do business with the company any more and so its representatives are making him look like the bad guy, he said. According to court documents, the Proper Media members who bought half of Snopes’ parent company took out a multi-million dollar loan to do so.

“Basically theyve withheld every penny of advertising revenue that weve earned since February of this year. Theyre claiming the fact that we have to get money from the public shows Ive mismanaged the company,” Mikkelson said. “I would defy any person to operate a company indefinitely with zero revenue.” The GoFundMe money will cover operational and legal expenses, he said.

How did we get here

Once the work of just Mikkelson and his ex-wife, whom he met on a folklore forum, Snopes now has a staff of 16 people. Its one of the 1,000-most popular websites in the U.S., according to legal documents.

So how did Snopes get here, apparently fighting for survival?

Well, its a bit complicated, but bear with me. Before his ex-wife sold her half to Proper Media members in July 2016, Snopes hired the company to do a variety of things, including manage web hosting, content management, and ad revenue. Of the revenue, Proper Media was to pay expenses such as payroll, keep some for its services, and give the rest to Snopes parent company, Bardav. According to Bardav’s lawsuit against Proper Media, it would get up to $85,000 monthly plus half of anything above that baseline. So, doing the math, at minimum, between February and June, Bardav should’ve made $425,000 from Proper Media.

The way the 50 percent was sold to the Proper Media shareholders, because of IRS reasons, leads to the next wrinkle.

Proper Medias five shareholders would get different-sized pieces of the pie from the deal, according to Bardav’s lawsuit. For Mikkelson, this means they’re nothing more than shareholders who collect checks when the company is profitable their shares range from 3.33 percent to 20 percent.

But Proper Media claims that the five shareholders are to act as one for the benefit of Proper Media and therefore have just as much say as Mikkelson, who owns the other half of Bardav. And that sway allegedly would prevent Mikkelson from canceling their contract.

“Its kind of like saying, ‘Hey Im sorry I stole your dog, but you can go to the pound and get another one’.”

To add more to the drama, one of those shareholders left Proper Media in February 2017 to join Snopes in a business development role, taking the keys to parts of the CMS and $10,000 worth of office equipment with him, according to court records. So Snopes can access its CMS to add content and retains editorial control (for now), but Proper Media still collects the ad money.

Proper Media attorney Kronenberger argues that Mikkelson can host the site wherever he likes, raising new ad revenue elsewhere, but he wont be getting Proper Medias tech, which he says optimizes the site for better performance.

Mikkelson contests that though, saying Proper Media is blocking access to the site’s domain name, template, data storage, and code, in addition to its ad revenue.

“Its kind of like saying, ‘Hey Im sorry I stole your dog, but you can go to the pound and get another one,'” Mikkelson retorted.

Proper Media wants to kick Mikkelson out after he spent 22 years running the site. It wants Snopes to continue operating, without him in a director or officer role.

“We are going to figure out how much is owed and we will pay it so long as it doesnt go to David Mikkelson,” Kronenberger said.

Mikkelson sounds like he’s going to fight like hell, though. Both his and Proper Media’s lawsuits are chugging their way through San Diego Superior Court and both sides want the other to pay damages as determined by the court.

“If they just stood back and let the adults run the company they would accrue the benefits that come to shareholders My interest is seeing Snopes run by people whose primary principal is the best interest in Snopes.”

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