#and im doing my normal process for this so like
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First week of actually tracking again (I tried again last year-ish and tracked a few weeks, but I ended up just deleting that data). I wrote over 6,600 words this week, all on my current sm/tiv project. That's almost twice the weekly goal I set, so definitely a good start.
I'm hoping to continue this strength and focus, at least until I get through the SM/TIV ideas I have. I have five current premises, and I want to get four of them completed. The fifth one would be a bit too long, so I just want to get it rolling.
#writing post#and of course have more unfinished smtiv ideas but. these five are the ones currently on my docket#this one im focusing on first is over 13k now#i am very far along. 700ish more words of notes to sew in and then i want to do an epilogue#I'll do some very minor editing then post it i think#I don't want to spend a super long time on refining#but i do a lot of refining as a part of my writing process (my normal process at least)#and im doing my normal process for this so like#i feel fine about that lol#its going to be 5 or 6 chapters. depending on if i write an epilogue
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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day 3: red
alts because im indecisive
#my art#smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#trafficblr#RED LIFE JOEL MY BELOVED YYAYYYYYYY#yes i did skip day 2 yes it is a tragedy yes i am very sad#i just couldnt come up with a good idea for it fhfgfh#maybe i’ll go back and do it later#7 holy nights of jeremy#ive been allowing myself to be very messy with these and its super super weird for me because im normally VERY meticulous with my art#like clean lineart and thought out details and blah blah blah. but its been super fun to just let loose lmao#It does also mean that these are very much “trust the process”#like boy…. you have so many ugly stages…. boy why are you ugly…..
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It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.
Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.
I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi
RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3
the smell of you
warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.
wc: 2.2k+
come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3
“Eddie?”
The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall.
“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?”
Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold.
You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him.
Something unspoken. Something homely.
“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.”
When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion.
He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire.
“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”
“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?”
“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?”
You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room.
Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use.
The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him.
“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?”
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.”
It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.”
He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him.
When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm.
“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.”
“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch.
“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently.
He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back.
One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home.
“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”
“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-”
“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.”
You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”
“Good.”
He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair.
“Eddie!”
If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient.
And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him.
Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m your idiot.”
The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you.
“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.”
“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?”
Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”
“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?”
“The kind that gets off on annoying me.”
His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”
You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum.
You never grow tired of it. You never will.
“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always.
And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.”
“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-”
You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him.
He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.”
“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”
“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”
“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”
Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside.
He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.
You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly.
You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days.
Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso.
“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle.
He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.”
“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off.
You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep.
I love you.
I adore you.
I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.
And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you.
The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?”
To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat.
“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”
#ghost's stories#summertime sweetness#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fluff#stranger things#peep me making fun of myself in there about the way i constantly like to write him doing the whole mock stabbing himself thing#i just want to find me an eddie munson to be so comfortable with that afternoons like this would be a regular thing ya know#give me a man who likes my stink#a man who offers to order us matching tempurpedic coffins#i don't think that's how you spell that word if i'm being completely honest#it's canon in my head the two of you would go 'coffin shopping' just cause you both wanna know what it's like to lay in one#also in my process of brainstorming and writing this i realized i really do not understand the concept of being weird because#halfway through writing this#i questioned if it was even weird/weird enough?#this doesn't feel weird to me this just feels like the normal progression of getting comfortable in a relationship#it was this or eddie being unbothered by sounds of indigestion or however you spell it#ANYWAYS im rambling my bad <3#i hope i made you proud rhi!! <3
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raghh
#all i do anymore is draw on magma and play sdv#honkai star rail#hsr boothill#hsr aventurine#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi pretzel#drawfee#ig??#one piece#hsr jing yuan#hsr qingque#hsr argenti#how do i tag nibbly#nibblenephim#tgaa#susato mikotoba#hsr march 7th#hsr dan heng il#my art#magma#censoring my friends art feels so wwweird HAAHFHgf love yall 😽#drawing jing yuan is spending most of the process fiddling w his infinite hair#i was like screaming giggling kicking my feet crying while drawing him bc im normal
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lemon yellow sun/ arms raised in a v
#maaaaaaaangeeerrrr babbiiieessssssss#guts is supposed to be in the coerner. rubns my face until my skin sears off#I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT its ok<-guy who is shocked the result came out differently after doing a completely different#process#i mean like it worked. i wanted to do a faster thing and i was able to finish it faster (only like. worked on this for 2 days) but it doesn#look like it normally looks and it bothers meeeeeeeeeeeeee#but it could also be a combination of that and like not knowing how to paint young children . snif#well at least im getting thru stuff so glad for progres...#sorry for propagandising my griffith playlist in the caption#anwya#berserk#griffith#my art#griffguts#sort of. sorry.
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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pillowbook thoughts because ive been thinking about them all day!
#pillowbook#bfdi#i havent rewatched tpot in a long time i have like 0 memories of the earliest episodes#for all intents and purposes these are my ocs#im prob gonna end up watching tpot again soon tho#just ymmm not rn okay?#pillow is a good character because you never kno what shes thinking#you cant know. figuring out her thought process takes away her charm#its like dissecting a frog#u understand it but it dies in the process#book is going insane over here#bc the 1 thing shes trying desperately to do rn#is fit in with new friends#but shes surrounded by a bunch of fucking freaks#who if were put in a well adjusted society would be outcast#but book is a newbie in this stuff#she doesnt have room to talk rn#so shes just trying her hardest to gauge what is a new normal#but its hard when pillow is glued to your side for some reason#and even by these guys standards shes weird!#mixed signals :/#talk
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Just popping in to say i LOVE UR ART SO MUCH WAUGH!!!! Its soooooooo exoressive and u get across emotion and movement SO WELL!! I love ...littlr apple ...so much.....u imbue this donkey with Such Chaos
I love this little chaos creature, we should all forfeit our mortal possessions to her.
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#<- Maybe? I do wanna start a more serious art tag and i did push myself harder than I normally do on this one. Hm.#MDZS#wei wuxian#little apple#Can you tell I've been practicing how to do hatching (Its soooo easy to go overboard#Thank you tumblr user seaslugbananabread (Iove the name (fellow sea creature and bananabread enjoyer)) this was a very sweet message#so sorry its been marinating in my ask box for so long; I wanted to have a good chunk of time to *Really* try and draw lil apple#I hope this makes up for it! I really mean It when I say messages like this really make my week!#It means a lot that people like my comic and can get what's going on in my little doodles B'*)#Esp the little apple enjoyers!! Let's go equine lovers!!!#If people are on board this early on when im really still just figuring out how to hold a pen properly then wow#Idk how to process it tbh!#(To anyone else who sent a message: *YES* I'm working on a doodle for you too; thanks for your patience!)
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OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!!#LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together#nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH#MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH#emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page#ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words#BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming#like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY.#okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN#edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT#ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!!#“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him#BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!”#TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD#OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process#IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence#REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES!#anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags#U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!
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COME BACK
who's here?? anyhoo thank you for these intent and powerful asks (i took a wild guess those were sent by the same person), I feel wanted. i'm cooking at the moment and hope you won't be disappointed...
#cheesy asks#IM NOT SURE ANON WHAT DO YO U MEAN MY LAST ART WAS POSTED LIKE WEEK AGO#WHICH IS NORMAL FOR ME#but it was a human cock instead of monster so i guess you meant that??#anyay thanks i'm flattered someone's WAITING#i WAIT impatiently cause i want to post a lot but this means i have to draw it first.......#also if you really want something you can always order it thru hipolink :o)#BAHAHA but that's fine i have plenty of things in process anyway!!!
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Swapped playlists with a friend and I have normal feelings about it
#also I like beabadoobee now. 'if you want to' kicked me in the stomach and left me lying on the ground#I’m just waiting for my meds to kick in what is this 😭#girls when the feeling of being loved and someone thinking of you when they make something finally processes#they also included the petrigrof everything in you song. im so normal#yapping#doodles#comics#personal#I’m doing a lot of diary comics huh
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There's something so devastating about becoming chronically ill in your teens because everyone around you is still young and healthy and can't relate to or sympathize with your situation, so you're essentially just left to learn that no matter what there will always be a part of yourself that alienates you from everyone else you know
#chronic illness#disability#fibromyalgia#chronic pain#honestly i wish i had a chronically ill friend#because it feels like im just being made to go through this entire process alone#like everyones uncomfortable when i bring up my pain#but they dont realize that im mourning#like ill never really get the chance to do anything i wanted to do#i had to quit so many things already and its only getting worse#i just wish i was normal#tbh#My post
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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was rewatching the pilot again yesterday for fic reasons and thinking again about the sherlock-style screen annotations they had when barry was doing CSI work that they literally only did in the first ep and then never revisited again, presumably because they realized it'd be far too much effort to work out the details on such a precise level
and thinking about like. that barry allen with the hyper-precise exact measurements that he did by eye (with joe shaking his head in awe so you know that he's a CSI supergenius) vs. the leonard snart who timed his heists to the exact nanosecond (which again, presuming they ditched because it's a logistical nightmare to write dialogue that nitpicky and obsessive, and would be such a fucking pain to do on a week-to-week basis). like. yet another reason they are soulmates tbh. is audhd4autistic a thing the same way t4t is a thing? if it isn't then i'm making it a thing
#never noticed it before i became obsessed w autism but pilot barry is SCREAMING “stereotypical tv depiction of white male autistic savant”#like even the cadence of his speech and the level of clumsiness and social awkwardness was ramped up to an 11 in the pilot#literally i only watched half the ep and he accidentally bumped into like 4 people.#like... the lack of spatial awareness... he's so me. they really did go “the speedforce cured his appalling proprioception"#part of me is glad they dialled some of it back cos like. tv loooves to code characters as autistic in that very specific#way that's like. a big old stereotype. but then be like “wdym you interpret him as autistic. disgusting that you'd say that. die.”#but idk i also kinda liked it... again im ultimately glad they didn't stick w the sherlock-style annotation bc it would make writing casefi#SO much more difficult than it already is just in terms of like. how do you show that kind of thought process in a non-visual medium#in a way that's not incredibly boring and info-dumpy?#but i do have a soft spot for like. early seasons disaster barry allen who can't walk across a flat surface without crashing into something#and has no idea how to have a normal human conversation#my meta
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I don't want you to forget me I want you to die with me. I miss you I should have lived. I love you. Why are you putting these words in my mouth?
(artfight attack for @tsunagite, ft. reinhardt :3)
#art#bella#fc!bella#lc ocs#lobotomy corporation#artfight attack#HI DID YOU KNOW IM NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO? :) <- face of a normal guy#i love bellas fucked up psyche. it really just throws everything on full blast to cope with fucked up shit#'reinhardts dead gang' 'alright. what do we do' (socratic seminar)#'we have decided to hash out every single emotion youre feeling all at once. possibly via psychosis. please do not resist'#<- same exact process happened when she was hallucinating the alt as well in friendcorp. shes normal!#also the vast majority of the text here is all written by me so i encourage you to read through it! :3#lots of it also from/referencing 'curiosity killed my beia'. absolute banger of a comic#theres. so much detail here#like if anyone wants the entire list i made i can dm it#+ theres more than that list too#specifically the halo + pins on the little winged reins in the bottom#the halo references the attack this is a revenge of and the pins reference 'experiment' by syumi#<- may be misremembering the title but like. you get it#edit: yeah i got it wrong - its calldd specimen#anyways i love these two theyre so fucked. i think about them forever <3
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