#and im definitely just oversensitive about this issue but

[solomiracle]

solomon's cooking jokes can be done well, but the game uses them so often and for only like three different punchlines that i just wanna skip the story whenever they come up

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, reading your posts made me realize I’m likely an INFJ in a terrible loop. For the last 6 months i’ve been reading about mbti I thought I was INTJ, and every test i tried said it too, but i didnt and still don’t understand Fe vs Te, even after reading your posts. But INFJ in a loop sounds a lot like me. So let’s go with that.

My auxiliary function is suffering. When I’m outside I have this tendency to observe people, the room, their behavior and enjoy dwelling in it, as if I’m reading a novel. It bothers me when someone says or acts rude, when a man bothers a woman like a creep.

In my head i’m so criticizing of other people. And if i’m not criticizing, im acting as if i can read everything about another person. I know this sounds horrible and very narcissistic, but i want to be honest to fix myself. And I know i’m doing this overthinking in social situations to defend myself by acting as if im superior.

But i just observe, i never interact. I havent talked to a single person in my class in university, since im a few years older (24 in a room of 21yo people). Even though i know if i want to socialize thats the right place. I start thinking: if i talk to them, they will get to know me, they will find that i failed or that i dont have a lot of my shit together, and then i will be judged. So why bother. And i know that its so flimsy and stupid. I only made one friend in my old uni before changing courses.

This is not only at university btw. I dont go out in the evenings, or try to meet new people, because i literally have no fucking idea of how to do it without looking like a misfit. My old friends are all very distant now, and while I know many people everything I never really dated, and while i have this insane void of emotional intimacy, i keep rationalising every attempt of experiencing life. I live in a shell.

And the fact i haven’t dated and i’m 24, is so scary. I’m not even ugly or that uninteresting or without hobbies, because people told me the opposite many times, but i dont know why i cant come out of my shell. This is not only about dating, but in general. Im always distant emotionally and end up thinking about it instead of living it. Because im a grown man scared of being judged for my smiles,tears and my love.

I think i have some trauma issues from my teens, when i talked to a girl on facebook for 2 years listening to her problems because i liked her, without ever approaching her irl (because i was a scared teenager idk why). It was a one way thing. I was basically her diary in human form. When i told her my feelings it was too late. After that i ended in a 1 yr depression, and it definitely marked me as a person. I never really opened myself emotionally with anyone else after. Maybe this is not even trauma, it actually feels demeaning to call it as such when other people have suffered more.

This post is a mess. Maybe im just overthinking, and you’ll probably read this and think i need therapy and/or im mistyped . But I really want to break these chains, and hearing an insight from someone who understand people very well could help.

------------------------

If I understand correctly, the main problem is you are closed off and unable to open up. It sounds like you are very afraid of socializing, most likely because you are afraid of being hurt by other people's negative judgments of you (it is a common problem related to unhealthy Fe). There are several factors that may be contributing to this problem:

- Low Self-Worth: You exhibit oversensitivity that arises from using other people's judgments to define your identity and/or determine your personal worth. If you're always worried about how you're being perceived, then you will of course feel anxious about interacting with anyone you're unsure about. This makes it very difficult to meet new people and expand your social circle.

- "Mindreading": You presume to know what others think, without any evidence, easily jumping straight to the worst case scenario. This is a defense mechanism that gives you a false sense of control, as though you're preparing yourself for the worst to happen. As such, you manage to talk yourself out of socializing, losing every opportunity to learn and grow socially.

- Unresolved Past: You've had negative relationship experiences in the past. When you don't resolve negative feelings, learn the right lessons from them, and consciously put the past behind you, you will take the past and project it into the future, expecting it to happen again. This means you are out of touch with reality because you never treat people as NEW people and give them the benefit of the doubt. You assume that people are out to hurt you and you build walls of protection, which conveniently prevents anyone from knowing you and getting close enough to want a relationship with you.

- Lack of Social Skills: It's hard to feel confident when you're incompetent. Even if you were to work up the courage to meet new people, it sounds like you would still lack the skills required to develop the relationship. Immature INFJs often suffer in relationships because of unrealistic ideas and/or unreasonable expectations, which is often related to faulty reasoning patterns (Ti loop). Social skills are called "skills" because anyone can learn and improve them. If you care about being a better version of yourself, you have to be honest about your deficits and apply yourself to learn the knowledge and skills that you need to move forward in life. See the recommended books on the resources page.

While it's possible to work on these issues on your own, it's the more difficult path to take. When you have a serious problem like social anxiety that prevents you from living the life you hope to live, then, yes, it is best to reach out for professional expertise and assistance. People aren't born knowing everything, so everyone needs help at some point and there is no shame in getting it. As long as you keep trying to convince yourself that your needs don't matter or that your problems aren't as serious or serious enough to warrant attention, you will continue to dig your own grave of unhappiness. How long do you want to go through life with these problems weighing you down and holding you back?

[lunavadash-creates]

Have I ever told you that you are the sweetest cupcake ever?❤️ It’s impossible to not smile at your posts! I sincerely thank you for all your sympathy towards me! My heart just melts! It’s so rare to find such a pure and kind soul like you. Please, don’t change. Ever.

You made me worried a bit with your last paragraph - maybe I am oversensitive, but I am really worried. It breaks my heart honestly, I feel like you belittle yourself. Babe, you are wonderful! I am not saying this just for you to feel better, but because you REALLY are. Think for a moment about things you’ve already achieved! Darling, you graduated! It’s really something. It is even more something when you study two different majors at the same time and study in language school at weekends. It’s real hardcore! I am proud of you. SO FREAKING MUCH! You did so well and you did so much! Please, be aware of it. You are incredibly talented and creative. YOU are hard working, not me. And you know what? Please, have a proper rest. Don��t overwork yourself anymore. You have to have some space just for you. You have to rest and regain your balance. Don’t think about writing as your duty. I know you feel responsible for all requests you have. But they really won’t run away or disappear. They all will be waiting to be written when you rest. Don’t pressure yourself, I beg you. You know I love your writing. We all here love it. But we love you even more. Taking a break it’s not bad. It’s necessary. When you rest you will be able to concentrate, you will have a fresh mind and new ideas. Just remember that you are a priority.

Speaking of your visit to Prague. OMG, THIS ASTRONOMICAL CLOCK!! I envy you soooooo much! I wish I could see it by myself someday! Thank you so much for the photo! And geez, you are the very first person admitting that museums are wonderful! No one amongst my friends likes them and it hurts so much, because I couldn’t go to the Uffizi museum and Palazzo Vecchio in Florence. I would love to go to any museum with you then! Museum of sex toys sounds really interesting, mostly because it’s not about modern toys. Like, I would never thought that people could have such rich sex life! I heard that in Amsterdam and Paris there are similar museums. But! I bet you would love icelandic museum of punk. Ohh, I am pretty sure you would enjoy it! It’s really small, because well..Its former public toilet. Buuuut, if you like non-obvious museums this is definitely for you. Whale museum was also pretty good. Or I enjoyed it just because I love whales. I was also in a museum of teddy bears in Seoul and it was the cutest museum I have ever been in! Tell me more about that vegan restaurant! What good did you eat? I am not vege myself, but I avoid eating meat on a daily basis so it’s easy to make me excited with such things!

I am not sure if I am better. I mean, I changed my mind about being able to sleep all day. I am not able to sleep at all at the moment. I am tired and my eyelids are so heavy, but sleep never comes. I guess insomnia hits again, it's a never-ending circle. But I am concerned about your leg! I guess you had spoken with doctor since you got xray and usg. Did they say anything? Any ideas of what it could possibly be? It has to be something serious if you have problems with walking! How did you manage to go sightseeing in Prague? Babe, please, take care of yourself! And what does “health problem AGAIN” mean?! Have you had such a problem before?? It scares me like.. we just started adulthood? My friend sneezed and it made him lay in bed for 6 days not being able to move. Literally.

Yeah, I was in South Korea, but please, do not perceive me as your role model. Gods, it would be a terrible decision, really. But, I would love to share some stories with you if you want! I know it's a popular destination these days because of kpop. I used to listen to it, but I think a few years ago kpop was better? More interesting? Now I’m more into khh, but I think I can’t say that I’m into it anymore.

Talking about music! I discovered two new songs and I bet you know them already, but for me it was huge woah woah woah! First of it - Sabaton. Thay covered Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls and they did it so good! Secondly - The Heart Asks Pleasure First. They basically made their own song based on one of my favourite piano songs. Oh my.. it’s sooo good!

And still talking about music! I just wanted to say that I also love our Wombo edits! That one with Ezio singing Stressed out was perfect! Mr Auditore looked very believably singing it. I liked the one with Edward and Haytham. I don’t know the song but it had such a christmas vibe! It made me think of Edward and Shay singing Last Christmas or some other shitty Christmas song together. Why them? No idea. I love Altair, but your latest headcanons could make me love them even more.

And! I just wanted to tell you that you inspired me to take japanese lessons on Duolingo. I am aware that such app won’t help me with learning such a language, but at least I can tell you that katakana sucks. Gods, I hate it so much. Hiragana is so pleasurable to learn. And I know katakana is visually similar, but it is a no no from me. I have learnt some basic kanji signs. And I just admire you so much more.

I hope you will have wonderful and peaceful week, Babe! Once again, please take care of yourself. Remember to have proper rest, sleep at least 8 hours and drink water! I hope your leg will be better soon!

🔪

Hey Knifey! I finally have the right mind set to respond to this ask!

So first of all thank you. You always make me blush with your kind words and I have no idea how to react! I want to squeaze you in a hug and give you all the sweets in the world!

As for the rest. You see i have always worked to hard on studying, so hard it actually burned out everything inside so now all i want to do i nothing! But i cant, i really want to go back to spending my free time in more creative way!

Omg Knifey! Finally i met a museum lover! And gods i want to visit them all! And you know? That Icelandinc museum sounds like such a goal, i want to go there 🥺 and Seoul museum of teddy bears?! I want to go there!

Honestly I love all museums and generally history. I enjoy visiting ruins of castles and villages, going to museums of everything! Art, machines, objects! There are always so many things and so many different ways to find the inspiration! And I always take so many photos for 'future references'. Some time ago i was in a gardens which showed different time of gardens of the world and there was this amazing exhibition of demons from Slavic mithology. That was so awesome! As well as Japanese garden!

In began restaurant i have this fried soy bites in some sweet-spicy sauce. So tasty! Im trying to recreate this recipe but so far its 1:0 for the soy :/

As for my leg. Its swollen AF bht i just... Put on my shoe and pretended it didnt exist. I can walk in good shoes but still im worried. As for that little again... I generally have some weird health issues. I had 5 surgeries for different stuff (spine, tumor, nose) so like... Generally i am healthy... Or at least i was until thst damned foot decided to show off. Its been 4 weeks and im still looking for a solution, running different tests and all. Hopefully they will figure out whag is going on.

Yes TELL ME ALL THE STORIES ABOUT KOREA.! I love stories, tell me everything!

Tbh i never listen ed to k-pop. I guess its just nkt my type of music but I enjoy some Japanese and Chinese songs (one i like is Arrogant by Xiao Zhang). I know songs you sent me and gods they are amazing! I love sabaton, rock/metal im general but I listen to all kind of music. Like Italian soundtrack from Winx, music from burlesque, Dragonforce, shanties. If there are k-pop songs you like you can always send then to me! Ill gladly listen to them all!

Im glad you like those wombos i guess i should make more! 😂😂

And gods. Katakana. 4 years of learning Japanese and I still need katakana board to remember those signs! And tbh i feel like Japanese duolingo has some mistakes ;/ but for Japanese i used lingodeer app and it was nice!

Knifey Im very sorry you have troubles sleeping. Is there something you can do to make it easier for you? Maybe you can take some melatonin pills? Maybe you are stressed? Can you maybe contact doctor, maybe they can help? I dont want anything bad to happen to you! Please take care of yourself? Pretty please?

Love you so much Knifey, you are such a sunshine and I just want you to be happy and healthy!

[aplpaca]

Hi! i'm writing a story with an autistic character and i was wondering - how can i (an allistic person) portray an autistic character in a way that isn't insensitive and degrading? how can i avoid being offensive?

Heres a few things i can think of off the top of my head (sorry this took so long)

try not to make the character read like the textbook version of the autism diagnosis.  no single person is going to have every autistic trait or present them in the same way.  for example, some autistics are not good at identifying sarcasm, while some are great at it (some might be good at identifying it but not good at being sarcastic themselves or vice versa).  I tend to be less facially expressive (apparently its harder to tell if im happy/angry/sad/etc. from my face) but my other friend is really hyper expressive.

this may sound obvious but be sure that the character has motivations, goals, and personal values that drive them to do what they do, just like any other character (sadly a lot of media does not do this).  the character should have their own agency and should not exist solely to teach other characters a moral lesson (ive seen a lot of things that include an autistic character just so the main guy learns about humility or kindness or whatever.  they can definitely help the mc develop as a person, but that should not be their sole purpose, and the autistic character should develop as a person as well)

 most autistic people have special interests (topics that theyre really “obsessed” with). One of the more stereotypical ones is trains (which has been done to hell and back) but they can be anything from a super obscure play from the 1800′s to something like makeup or fashion.  Keep in mind that the character’s special interest should not be the only thing they talk and care about.

they should have the same depth of feeling as all the non-autistic characters.  the only difference is that they will likely have difficulty expressing them or express them in different ways.  They will have difficulty with “normal” social interaction (what to say does not come naturally to them, many have trouble intuitively discerning subtler facial expressions, they might have difficulty with when it is their turn to speak in some situations, etc) but that does not mean that they do not want to connect with people and it definitely does not mean that they do not care about them.

please dont treat the character like some mysterious creature or a problem to be solved.  Its completely okay if some of the characters misunderstand them or think of them as “weird”, but that should not be the only perception of them.  The perceptions should change from person to person and should also change as a character gets to know them.

also please dont do a thing where “the character gets less autistic when they get friends or a significant other” (i trust that since youre asking about how to write one correctly that this isnt your intention but im gonna list it anyway)

be cautious if you end up going the “really good at math/living calculator” route with the character (make sure its not like an op superpower, they should have other talents/traits as well).  although it can be done well, it is very overdone in media.

the character should probably have some kind(s) of sensory difference.  For example, being oversensitive to sound or light (some people with high sensitivities in those areas carry earplugs or sunglasses to use when they need them, which are often situations that others find tolerable, like walking around a supermarket or other bright crowded places).  They might not like to be touched unless they are the one that initiates it.  They might have strong preferences for specific clothing styles or fabrics (like I cant wear like 93% of the clothes in most stores because the fit feels awful to me or the fabric that everyone else thinks is soft feels super scratchy).  Some people are very picky eaters (which can be from the texture of the food or the taste).  People can also be undersinsitive in any of these (can withstand super loud noises, underreactive to smells, may not notice cuts or bruises because they are undersensitive to pain, etc). The same person will likely have a mix of different sensory issues that range in “severity” (may have super sensitive hearing, slightly sensitive touch, but react normally to light and taste.  everyone is different).  

Said sensory differences will complicate some of the character’s experiences, but their actions because of it should not be seen as irrational or pathologized.  A lot of things make it seem as if the character is overreacting or pitching a fit about a minor issue (like the lights being too bright when no one else cares), when in actuality everyone else would be acting in a similar manner if they had the same sensitivities.  Try to make it understood that the character is not “trying to be difficult” or “just acting weird”

Basically just make the autistic character’s inner experiences known as much as possible.    

Thanks for asking! I hope this was at least somewhat helpful (id recommend talking to some more people to get a wider range of advice also) and that your writing goes well! (feel free to ask again if you wanna know something more specific)  

[elspethsunschampion]

Fact or Fiction: Chapter Fourteen

Rated M for abuse, sexual content, and discussion of rape/non-con.  Canon-typical violence.

Summary: It’s Ral Zarek’s sixth year at Hogwarts. And everything would be fine if Jace wasn’t totally occupied with his new girlfriend, to the point where it’s honestly kind of weird, and Ral’s starting to be concerned. Now if only everyone would stop telling Ral he’s just jealous and LISTEN to him…after all, he’s NOT just jealous, right? (Sequel to Send to Sleep.)

Ships: Jace Beleren/Ral Zarek, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Hermione Granger, Nissa Revane/Chandra Nalaar, Elspeth Tirel/Teysa Karlov

A/N: Many, many thanks to @paperclipminimizer for beta-ing and checking my timeline, as well as answering all my questions about Harry Potter. Thanks also to Juri, @dragons-suck, and everyone on Sketchydoodles’ Vorthos server for listening to me rant about this thing as it took shape.

Also available on AO3 and FFnet.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen: Mending Touch

           Jace poked at his food. He was huddled in his cloak in front of one of the many little alcoves in the library. Technically, food wasn’t allowed, but Jace didn’t give a fuck, and the teachers seemed willing to overlook minor infractions on his part right now. Which they damn well should, he thought bitterly, and then felt his stomach turn over. He didn’t deserve special treatment, no matter what anyone said.

           He probably should eat. He was hungry in a sort of distant way, but everything seemed so tasteless that it was difficult to get himself to eat. And Ral still wasn’t awake. He kept asking and asking, but every time he asked he got the same answer, “he’s doing fine, but the nerves aren’t healed yet, it’s better if he stays asleep.”

           How did they know? He’d tried reading everything he could lay his hands on about the Cruciatus Curse, but he’d had to stop doing that after he’d thrown up over a part of the Restricted Section he probably shouldn’t have had access to in the first place. He’d managed to clean it up and leave before anyone found him, but the books hadn’t been happy. Several of them had followed him around for the rest of the day, complaining in rustly, incomprehensible voices.

           Someone shoved a very garish image of a cartoon sandwich into his head. Mirko could have been subtler, but they seemed to be trying to make it easy for Jace to know when someone else was in his head. Jace was very carefully not thinking about the fact that, although it was true that Mirko could get under the protections of his cloak, he was pretty sure he’d heard snatches of other thoughts even from inside. That shouldn’t be happening. That shouldn’t be possible.

           “I’m not hungry,” Jace sighed, out loud. His stomach rumbled. The cartoon sandwich grew eyes and looked at him accusingly. “Okay, I am hungry, but I don’t want to eat.”

           Ral wasn’t eating, after all, Jace thought mulishly. Of course, he was in the hospital wing and getting all of his food magically, but it sounded suitably dramatic in Jace’s head. There was the suggestion of a sigh in the back of his mind, and a cold wind brushed against his neck like a not-quite-corporeal touch. The banishment had left Mirko somewhat less willing to take a solid form. Jace was just glad that somehow the boggart had managed to use their connection to hang onto his memories, in spite of the love potion clouding his mind at the time.

           “Jace?” Jace froze. It was Professor Lovegood’s voice. Pulling the hood of his cloak up, Jace felt for his wand, wondering if he should try out that invisibility charm he’d pulled out of Liliana’s head. Before he could make up his mind, Kallist shot up into the air, spitting lightning in every direction.

           “Kallist, no!” Jace hissed, but it was too late. Professor Lovegood poked her head around the bookshelf.

           “Oh, hello,” she said. “You know, if you get the books some rubbing alcohol, they’ll probably calm down.”

           “The books?” Jace echoed, trying to sound innocent. One particularly irritable one chose that moment to snap closed on his ankle, and he yelped.

           “Yes, I upset them earlier this year, so I’ve tried to make sure I knew the kinds of things they liked.” Jace hadn’t paid much attention during Herbology this year—or any class—so he wasn’t sure if Professor Lovegood usually had that wide, vaguely dreamy smile on her face.

           “Um, I see.”

           “In any case, Hermione—Professor Granger, I mean—sent me to tell you that Mr. Zarek is awake.”

           Jace stopped trying to surreptitiously nudge the book away and looked up at her. It was suddenly difficult to breathe. “He—he is? Is he—okay? Can I see him? Or—does he—want to see me?”

           Professor Lovegood smiled. “He’s feeling much better, although his nerves are just a little oversensitive still, so Madam Pomfrey is trying to get him to stay in bed. I think his exact words were, ‘Tell Jace to get his ass down here, or I’ll soak the entire Hospital Wing.’ You should probably go down, because I think Madam Pomfrey looked like she really wished she could give him detention.”

           Ral was bored. After his first waking hour of lying around in the hospital wing, most of the tingling pain in his nerves had subsided, leaving him slightly achey and very restless. Madam Pomfrey always seemed to force people to stay in bed about five times longer than they wanted to, and Ral was getting really concerned about Jace. Jace had already had issues that Ral didn’t really know how to help, though he thought he’d been getting better. But now—

           Someone knocked on the door. “Who is it?” he yelled irritably. If it was Madam Pomfrey with another foul-smelling potion, he might just “accidentally” have an electrical outburst and shatter the damn thing.

           The door opened a crack. “It’s me,” Jace said, so quietly Ral almost didn’t hear him. “Can I come in?”

           “Yeah, of course.” Ral wriggled upright. “How are you?”

           Jace stopped in the doorway and blinked. Kallist was hovering nervously over his head. “I—I’m fine. How are you?”

           “Aching a little, I guess. I don’t think I still need to be in bed, but you know what the teachers are like. Way too careful about all the wrong fucking things.”

           For another moment or two, Jace dithered in the doorway, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet in a way Ral hadn’t seen him do in years. Finally, he practically ran across the room to Ral’s bed and sank onto it. “I’m sorry,” he muttered into his cloak. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Something wet fell onto Ral’s hand.

           “What the fuck,” he said stupidly.

           “Do you, um—” Jace paused. “Sorry. Just—just a sec.” His voice was wobbling. “Do you want me to leave?”

           “What the fuck, Jace? No!”

           “I’m sorry.”

           “Jesus fuck, why?”

           “For ignoring you. For not listening to you. For not responding to your IMs over the summer, and being a fucking dick to you this whole year. For getting you—for—for—”

           “Oh my fucking god,” Ral said limply. “You were literally under a spell, Jace, what the hell? Do you really think I’d blame you for that? What the shit?”

           The little pile of misery under the cloak tugged at his hair. “You should,” he mumbled after a moment. “I should’ve—”

           “—thrown off the most potent love potion any of the professors have ever heard of, gone toe-to-toe with one of the most powerful dark witches in history, and nearly fucking killed her into the bargain?” Jace blinked at him. “Because you kind of did all that, you idiot.” A tiny lightning bolt from the cloud above him suggested that Kallist agreed with Ral’s assessment. “Now get over here.”

           “Are you—sure?”

           Ral rolled his eyes and felt that strange staticky sensation rise up along the back of his neck again. Ever since he’d woken up with his nerves still twitching and jangling and oversensitive, it had been all too easy to trigger. And for once, he’d discovered there was something he wasn’t in too much of a hurry to research. He really didn’t want to know any more about the effects of the Cruciatus Curse than he already did. Well. Not yet, anyway. He made a mental note to come back to it in a couple weeks. “Yes, I’m bloody sure,” he grunted, and a spark materialized at the tip of one flopping lock of hair and sizzled down onto the sheets near his hand.

           “Right.” Jace took a deep breath and slid down the bed to him. For a moment, he sat still, then he had a hand out and bunched in the hospital robes Ral was wearing. “Oh, Ral,” he said, wearily. And then he was pressing his face into Ral’s chest, and to Ral’s consternation and horror, he was sobbing. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Oh, fuck, I thought—oh fuck, what did I do?”

           You were supposed to hold people when they broke down like this, right? Ral gingerly put one hand on Jace’s back and tried not to think about the fact that he was stupidly oversensitive right now. “You didn’t fucking do anything,” he said, biting his lip because Jace was squirming and that was not fucking fair, universe, that was goddamn fucking cheating. Jace was definitely positively one-hundred-percent not in a good mindset to be dealing with Ral exploding romantic feelings all over him. It could wait.

           No, it can’t, caroled a particularly annoying segment of Ral’s brain as one of Jace’s hands brushed across his collarbone.

           Yes, it damn well can, Ral told it fiercely, but he did press his face into Jace’s hair, because he wasn’t a goddamn saint.

           “Shut up, we’re both fine,” he mumbled angrily. “Also, I have these sweet new stripes in my hair now.”

           Okay, so he actually had asked about those. Is that normal? he’d said to Professor Granger, fingering the long white streak as he stared in a mirror. I look like fucking Rogue, he would have said, except she probably wouldn’t get it.

           It’s been documented in other cases of the Cruciatus Curse, Professor Granger had answered. I don’t believe it’s exactly common, and, no, so far no one knows exactly what causes it. As you might imagine, no one has been exactly eager to do an in-depth study.

           “You look like Rogue.” Jace managed a laugh.

           Right, they’d seen the film together, hadn’t they? Because Jace was still huddled in his cloak, as if he’d never come out again, so he probably hadn’t read Ral’s mind just now.

           “Well, um, actually…” Jace sighed. “The cloak hasn’t been entirely cutting it since I woke up.”

           “Oh. Well, shit.”

           “It’s easier with people I’ve read a lot, and I can turn it off if I focus,” Jace explained. “But it is sort of there if I’m not thinking too hard.” He put a hand to his head. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I’ve dealt with worse shit.”

           “You mean like this whole year?” Ral tightened his arm around Jace. “Look, I’ll, uh, I’ll try to keep my thoughts quiet, okay?”

           Jace rubbed a hand over his eyes. “It’s fine. Really.”

           There were huge, dark circles under his eyes. “When’s the last time you slept?”

           “Uh,” Jace replied, staring vacantly for a moment. “Oh—I mean, I was in the Hospital Wing unconscious till a couple of days ago.”

           “Have you slept since a ‘couple of days ago’?”

           He looked to the side. “I tried,” he muttered. “But you were—I didn’t know if you’d be okay—and it was my f-f-f—”

           “If you say it was your fault again, I will punch you,” Ral said. “And then I’ll probably get detention, and that will be your fault.”

           Thank god, Jace laughed at that, though the sound was a little wobbly. “I haven’t really been able to sleep, I guess.”

           “Well, Madam Pomfrey keeps trying to tell me I’m not allowed to set foot outside of my bed, and you clearly need to be in bed way more than I do. So why don’t you stay here and sleep?”

           Jace gaped at him. “I haven’t been sleeping with you this whole semester and you—you want…”

           “I dunno if we’re quite at that stage in our relationship yet,” Ral grinned, getting a frustrated scowl from his friend. “Yeah, yeah, of course I do. How many times do I have to tell you none of this was your fault, I don’t blame you, you’re my best mate, and—and—” also I’m gay and have more than strictly platonic feelings for you and please don’t be reading my mind right now, Jace, because I don’t think I could deal with that on top of everything else, “—and that’s never going to change,” he finished, a little lamely.

           “Ral—I do not deserve you.”

           “No one deserves me,” Ral grinned. “I am too awesome for that. But if anyone did deserve me, you’d be on top of the list.”

           “R-Right.” Jace tugged his hood down, but not before Ral saw the easy blush rising to his cheeks. “Okay. Well. I guess I should try to get some sleep, huh?”

           “You should. You really should.” Ral tried not to reach too much as Jace laid down and slid back against him, but he was pretty sure Jace would have to be deaf not to have heard the low noise Ral made when Jace curled into his front. Thankfully, Jace didn’t say anything; he just took Ral’s hand and pulled it around to his chest so that they were spooning. Not quite how they usually spent the night together, but Ral was definitely not going to complain. Although he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to get any sleep at all.