#and im a little upset that i know vaguely more than i did when the series started rather than 6 hours more of information

[twd-obsessed-bitch]

Is it just me or does 6 episodes not feel like enough for the amount of story building they were tryna do. I feel like a lot of things went unanswered and like I know thats the point of a cliff hanger and that we're getting a season two but

Spoilers

We barely know who this woman is that the Croat took Negan too, we met her TWICE one of the times being when Negan met her.

And yet we're supposed to be concerned and scared of her, and the hold she has on Hershel, even though she cut off his toe?? And kept it???

Like I can see her becoming like the other mother in Coraline and playing a part of a doting woman who cares solely for Hershel, and how that would make Hershel kinda stockholmed into liking her etc. But you can't start that by cutting off his toe. Actually cutting off his toe at any part during the process would kinda fuck it up, would it not???

Speaking of Hershel, he's so angsty, and I love it to an extent but like where's the background for it? Where's the reasoning why he feels so cut off from his mom to borderline hate her for everything she does, including saving him?? Why does he feel the way he does. He's got about as much development as RJ in the main series and just is coming across as a whiny teen to me, I might be reading his character wrong but it's my opinion atm

And then you got new Babylon, and we have literally no explanation about them, barely even spoken exposition being like "oh yes new Babylon the people who are trying to bring back the old world and it's rules and are succeeding" like there's just barely that. That's all we know about them.

It doesn't help that pretty much the whole of episode 5 was just them walking through the sewers and not really doing much else, and that was mostly just to kill off Tommaso and Amaia, and to see the walked king. It was an hour long EP that got like a good 25 minutes of anything done besides walking.

So they basically wasted it.

And like don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the series, this isn't me saying I hated it or anything. Im just... Underwhelmed? Like it's been so hyped up as something newer than the main series, in a city that nobodies explored, that they made to be an epicenter for the whole thing. And its just kinda the same plots as the main series done a little bit differently by giving the viewer less knowledge of what's going on.

Like we kept getting that flashback to when the croat took Hershel, and he's screaming for Maggie and Maggie is screaming for him, and I thought they'd give us more, show us the conversation they had or something along those lines. But the extension of the scenes is just a wider angled shot of Maggie looking upset. It's underwhelming

And maybe that's on me for expecting more from AMC than what they've given us, and maybe I need to rewatch it to pick up on the things I might've missed the first time around. But like, overall, I'm underwhelmed and wished they used the 6 episodes more to their advantage or greenlit them for some more episodes in the season.

Cause like season one of the main series, that was 6 episodes, and every single episode was stuffed full of story telling and character building and exposition. It threw you into the world from minute one. Dead city is kinda just relying on you knowing the characters and their backstory and using that without expanding any further even though we have no idea who the Croat and his people are, who the marshals of new Babylon are, no clue who Hershel has grown into, or what happened in the time jump with Negan and Annie and their son.

This is really long, so anybody that's read it thanks lol, it's all kinda just word vomit so I hope it made sense.

[amhrosina]

It's Always Been You

Summary: You and Miguel are forced to confront your feelings for one another after a dangerous mission goes awry.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man 2099) x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

masterlist // join my taglist // follow me on instagram & ao3

a/n: i cannot stop thinking about this man ohmygod anyways im overwhelmed by the love being shown for my other miguel fic and cant wait to add more to this community!!! thank you!!! (should i do a part two with smut? like friends to lovers first time?? lemme know <;3)

warnings: friends to lovers, arguing, some angst, love confessions!!!!!, reader calls miguel a name, idiots in love tbh, references to a dangerous situation (but no details i kept it super vague lol), starts to get a little suggestive at the end but is like 99% fluff

Miguel was ignoring you. Not in the usual, self-brooding, grumpy way he sometimes did when he was having a bad day, but in the way that told you he was furious with you. Anger had been radiating off of him in waves since your chaotic return to Nueva York a few hours earlier, and you, along with every other Spider-person at headquarters, was avoiding his workspace like the plague. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to console him, but you knew, probably better than anyone, that when Miguel wanted to brood, he would. You would try again later, and eventually you’d make him laugh, and the world would right itself again. It always did.

Spider-Woman huffed, plopping into the seat next to yours in the cafeteria, slamming her tray down hard enough to knock your tablet on its side. Clearly, she was upset about something. 

“Is everyone pissed off today?” You asked indignantly.

She glared at you, shoving a bite of sandwich in her mouth before answering.

“Miguel’s being pissy.” She glared at you. “And it’s your fault.”

“I can’t imagine why. We got the guy, didn’t we?” 

“We both know what you did was reckless.” Her glare intensified, and your annoyance shifted to guilt. It was a reckless move, but it worked. 

“He was being torn to shreds. I did what any of us would’ve done. If he has a problem, he can come talk to me about it instead of hiding from all of us like a teenager.”

Her gaze softened. “He has a lot on his plate.”

“So?” You combatted, annoyed all over again.

“So, I think maybe what happened today scared him, and he doesn’t know how to process his feelings about it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrugged, refusing to meet her gaze.

“You’re his best friend, and he almost lost you today. Go talk to him.” She suggested, patting your shoulder. “I think it’ll do everyone some good. And I do mean everyone. He’s scary when he’s mad.”

You shrugged her off, finishing your dinner in silence. If Miguel was so pissed, why couldn’t he come talk to you about it? Why, after years of knowing each other, were you still the one approaching him with an apology? Why couldn’t he just say what he meant for once?

But of course, after you finished your dinner and realized, hopelessly, that the only person you wanted to see was, in fact, Miguel, you huffed and began the trek to his office, where you knew he’d still be brooding.

The tension in the building had lessened after many of the spider-people had returned to their own universes, glad to get away from the uncomfortable elephant in the room, but that didn’t stop your stomach from clenching when you rounded the corner into Miguel’s dim, untidy workspace.

He was hunched over his desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. From your position, you had a clear view of the damage that had been done to his back earlier that day. You winced, thinking back to the few seconds of absolute terror you’d experienced when you’d seen the anomaly tearing into Miguel’s skin. The claw marks had already healed a little, now just raw, nasty looking scratches down the curve of his spine. 

He turned at the sound of your footsteps, though he had likely heard you coming since you stepped foot out of the cafeteria. Anger flickered in his cold gaze, but he was still here, decidedly not hiding from you, which was a good sign. You stepped into the workspace, setting the extra food you’d bought for him down before fully turning to face him.

“Hey.” You murmured. “Brought you some dinner.”

His gaze flicked from your awkward stance to the box of food on the table. “Thanks.”

Short. Blunt. To the point. You sighed.

“You’re still mad, then?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be mad at the stunt you pulled today?” He glared, standing to his full height and towering over you.

“I’m saying you shouldn’t be mad at me for saving your life, asshole.” You looked up at him, refusing to back down.

“I had it under control. It was my anomaly to handle.” His nostrils flared with anger. 

You threw your hands up indignantly. “It was our anomaly to handle, and I handled it just fine! In case you don’t remember, I was good enough at handling myself to be recruited by you for this stupid team!”

“What you did was incredibly stupid. The anomaly could have killed you. Don’t you get that?”

“The anomaly was killing you. I did what I thought was best-”

“Exactly. You did what you thought was best and didn’t think once about the team. You risked an entire universe to show off!” He cut you off, slamming his hands on the desk on either side of you, effectively cornering you.

Your voices had risen considerably since your initial arrival, and you were now inches apart, screaming at each other.

“To show off?” You pushed at his enormous chest, vision blurred with a mixture of tears and anger. “I risked an entire universe to protect you, you asshole! Everything I do is to protect you.”

He grabbed your wrists, easily stopping your arms from pushing him again. 

“You could have died.” He grunted, squeezing your wrists.

“Why do you even care, Miguel? The anomaly was taken care of, just like it always is. We’ll go take care of another one tomorrow, just like we always do.”

“Because I love you, obviously!” He yelled, releasing his grip on you and taking a full step backwards. Stunned into silence, neither of you said anything for a full ten seconds. He began pacing in front of you, hands on his hips, breathing heavily as the magnitude of what he’d just revealed fully hit him. He paused when he heard you sniffle, and began speaking.

“I love you. Can’t you see that?” He asked, stepping close to you. Tears welled in your eyes, and you couldn’t bear to look up at him for fear that it might be a dream, or worse, a cruel trick of his. “I care because I love you, and I almost lost you. I-” he swallowed thickly, “I almost lost it when I realized what you were doing. And when we couldn’t find you after? That was the worst thirty seconds of my life.” He shook his head, clearing the thoughts from his mind. “I can’t lose you. Do you understand that? You’re mine. I can’t lose you, baby.”

You finally lifted your chin, meeting his gaze. He tentatively cradled your cheeks, wiping away the stray tears that had snuck down your face during his speech. 

“I love you, too.” You murmured, nuzzling into his palm. “But you can’t expect me to just watch while you’re being torn to shreds. I had to do something.”

He nodded, though it clearly pained him to agree with you about it. “I know. And I know you can handle yourself. I’m sorry for getting so angry, but you have to understand that your safety is the most important thing to me when we go chasing after anomalies. And I know that it should be saving the universes that we’re in, but it’s not. It’s you, and it’s always been you. Don’t ask me to change that. It will always be you.”

You blinked up at him in stunned silence, nodding. You couldn’t remember when your feelings for Miguel had shifted to something beyond friendly, but you’d never before allowed yourself the fantasy of him loving you in return. It was something you’d come to terms with months ago, accepting that you’d never get to hold him the way he deserved to be held. But now he was standing with you, holding you, begging you to understand that all of his anger has been out of pure, unselfish love for you. 

“I won’t ask you to change that.” You conceded, a small grin forming on your face, “As long as you promise to at least try to stay out of harm’s way.”

“I promise, but you know harm seems to seek me out no matter what.” His grin mirrored the one on your face. He shifted his head down, stopping only centimeters away from your lips. “If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you?”

“That depends.” You breathed, heart thundering in your chest. “Are you going to be this dramatic every time I save your ass, O’Hara?”

He chuckled, cradling your head in his massive hands. “Maybe. Yes. Definitely.”

You shrugged, nodding. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He asked, eyes flicking between your gaze and your lips.

“Okay.” You bobbed your head once and then leaned in.

He captured your lips in an earth-shattering kiss, exploring every inch of what you offered to him eagerly. His hands roamed the length of your body, pulling you fully against his heated skin. You melted into him, pliable to his every whim and desire, going exactly where he wanted you to go, doing exactly what he wanted you to do. Heat coiled in your entire body, poised to erupt at the slightest touch he offered. You reached forward, tugging at the material around his waist. If he wasn’t inside of you soon, you thought you might explode. His hands wandered below your waistband, too, eager to please.

A loud clunking sound from around the corner had you springing apart, panting, overheated, and completely high off one another’s touch. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed to be seen kissing Miguel. In fact, you were planning on kissing him at every moment possible, if he’d let you. It was the fact that you’d very nearly allowed him to strip you naked and have his way with you in his very public office. He seemed to be thinking the same thing, coming to his senses and adjusting the uncomfortable looking bulge in his pants as the sound of footsteps grew nearer.

“Miguel, you’re going to be in an even worse mood if you don’t just go talk to her. I mean, really, you’re both acting like idiots and clearly love each oth- oh!”

Spider-Woman came into view, waving her hands frantically and then doing her very best to hide the smile growing on her face. You shifted your feet awkwardly, trying your best to look like you hadn’t had Miguel’s tongue shoved down your throat ten seconds earlier. Miguel, as stoic and unperturbed as ever, had simply bent down and returned to scribbling on the paper from earlier, which made you involuntarily scowl. He always looked so cool. It was annoying.

“Am I…interrupting something?” Spider-Woman asked, smirking. Clearly, you weren’t doing a great job hiding anything from her. 

“What was that you were saying when you came in? Something about my mood?” Miguel asked, lifting his gaze to hers.

“Oh, nothing!” She grinned, turning on her heels and leaving the room as fast as she had entered it.

Miguel looked at you, suddenly shy now that you were alone together again. “Wanna bet how long it’ll be before she spills the beans to someone about us?”

You barked a laugh. “I’ll give you my entire paycheck if she hasn’t announced it to someone already.” 

Tag List:

@foxglove-grove @lavnderluv @khaleesihavilliard @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @deliciousfestsalad @lilyevans1 @imagineadream @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout @blep--bloop @kpopgirlbtssvt @aynsleywalker @queenofthenoobs @ostricx @horrorflix @anthonymackiehasmyheart

[peachfruitcake]

did you hear about what Martin said about Susan and Linda on the Twitter space he hosted on the 27th? i thought of you instantly when he started talking about them and have been waiting for you to post your thoughts! :-)

HEHE YES IM THE ONE WHO’S QUESTION LED TO THAT!!!!!

Now for those who didn’t listen to that space, Martin said that Linda called her to say goodbye but never specified how it went of course. Besides “hey Susan I’m leaving sorry this is really impacting my mental health” “gaaaaaaaaaaey”/j

This is all a personal headcanon but I like to think that their friendship grew incredibly distant ever since Linda married Felix, Susan probably stopped talking to her altogether for a while and it would leave Linda very confused and upset. They might’ve started talking to eachother again a little bit as the series of events began to approach but only very brief small talk, maybe Linda complaining a little and giving Susan a few life updates and them both talking about stuff they’ve been noticing with others lately (especially Felix’s drinking), but nothing deeper than that.

I see Susan being extremely emotionally closed off to most people except maybe a select few that she knows very closely, so if you were to ask her what’s going on in her life she’d give you a very vaguely watered down version and not what’s actually going on or how she’s really managing herself emotionally.

So basically she used to be more open with Linda, but during that period she sort of just started treating her like a stranger.

So when Linda called her first to tell her that she’s finally leaving, Susan acted how she usually would, keeping it calm, understanding and respectful and wishing her luck, but she won’t really show any more than that. Or that she cried later and felt pretty bad that they couldn’t be so close anymore and that she’ll probably never be able to make up for herself acting so distant for the past many years again.

Of course this all comes from how I view Susan as a character myself though and also the fact that I refuse to pass up the idea that she has feelings for Linda. I like to think that she introduced her to Felix cuz Linda was getting more desperate to find a relationship and Susan was getting weird thoughts so in a panic she shoved her off to him so she could avoid the urges. They’ve been boiling within her since highschool and she always was able to push them aside or excuse them as “she’s just my very close friend I don’t have many close friends so she feels extra special” and as the years went by they began distracting her a lot from her work and were growing stronger and more unavoidable aaand they were really beginning to affect how she’d interact with Linda and you see Susan hates feeling like another has any control over her and Linda just wouldn’t shut up about hooooow badly she wants a relationship and hoooow many dates keep failing and Susan was at the point to where she was starting to get the kind of dreams that make you stare up at the ceiling in horror when you open your eyes in the morning so one day when she overheard Felix speaking about being single and wanting to start looking around, she decided to introduce her to him. Susan allegedly never finds a problem she can’t fix in some way so that was her solution.

They hit it off, Susan’s solution isn’t working for some reason cuz she doesn’t feel any relief at all and in fact feels worse but just sucks it up and just focuses on her work and looks the other way. Linda and Felix get married, Susan feels like throwing up the entire day and now feels somehow even more worse by now and suddenly whenever Linda wants to chat she’s suddenly always “busy” every time. Susan’s often busy anyways but you know yourself when there’s a difference between “shit I’m busy that day, let’s do Sunday instead” and “Sorry I can’t, I’m busy”, “I don’t know when I’ll be available.”

While Linda and Felix were dating, Susan probably assumed that she was just jealous that she couldn’t have a little fun at her age herself. When they got married, Susan told herself that she’s probably so depressed over it cuz it’s making her feel like she’s fallen behind others her age and that maybe she feels bitter that all of these people are moving on and going through these important life stages while she remains behind. Which made no sense otherwise cuz Susan couldn’t give any less of a fuck about starting any sort of family or going out. But that’s what Susan would tell herself that she feels so she wouldn’t have to think about it any further. By the time Susan thinks she’s over whatever it was, she begins having brief talks with Linda occasionally. Not often and still a bit distant, but way better than before.

So yeah can you imagine how shitty and guilty Susan felt that whole time of her weird bitterness toward Linda being in a relationship and not being able to approach her much anymore or how Felix turned out to be such a shitty husband.

If this headcanon is aligned with twf’s canon, she’d probably be dead before she even gets to actually acknowledge and accept her feelings as they are. Such is life though. Not like she could’ve done anything about it.

[desire-mona]

heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest

Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3

more under cut !

big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy

birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2

if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will

ummmm relationship chart + template

lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others

wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁

but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))

tw suicide for next part bee tee dub

a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.

oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives

cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.

kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.

so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together

i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY

and then nothing bad happens!

if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes

they make me so fucking upset.

anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.

idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH

thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks

[atwingeofcringe]

Enough

A/N: hello everyone! this is my first fic on this account! ive written 3 parts to this but ive written them in a way where they could all be standalones and there are time gaps between them but ive left it up for you to decide how much time! ive seen people say different time spans for how long it takes for him to warm up to an S/O and i wanted to keep it vague! even though i have the other 2 written im not sure when i'll post them because i have a lot going on right now but we'll see! i also tried to write these in a way so that you can imagine which ever version of Michael you like most or the version you think best fits! all my writing is done on my phone btw so sorry if there are mistakes i didnt catch! sometimes my phone likes to think it knows more than me lmao! Summary: Michael feels conflicted feelings as you patch up his wounds. Pairing: Michael Myers x Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 1,344

🔪

The sound of your back door opening and then closing broke your attention away from your tv for a split second, then you faced the tv again. Heavy footsteps made their way over to you but you remained watching your show, unconcerned. A dark figure emerged from around the corner and stood there silently, knife in hand, and staring right at you. Anyone else would have been frightened by this but, for you, this is a normal occurrence.

“Hey, Michael!” you greeted, looking up from your show.

Of course, you got no greeting in return, but that’s normal too. He stepped more into view, letting you see him more clearly and you gasped at the sight. He was covered in blood and clearly injured. You knew most of the blood wasn’t his but you were still worried.

You shot up out of your seat on the couch and quickly ushered Michael into your kitchen, where you kept your medical supplies, and sat him down at the table. His bloodied knife was taken to the sink for washing later. He didn’t think his injuries were that bad and why you fussed over him so much, he just wanted to come by to check on you. Still, he let you do what you wanted.

“Can you take this off?” You asked, pointing to his blood soaked coveralls.

He pulled the zipper down pushed the top of the coveralls down until it rested around waist, exposing plain black t-shirt that was also soaked with blood. You thanked him and carefully started tending to any fresh and exposed wounds you could see, all the while trying to keep skin to skin contact to a minimal. He’s not a fan of being touched and you didn’t want to make him angry.

While you did this, you could feel his eyes on you the whole time. You’re used to it, though. His eyes constantly followed your every movement. In the beginning, this used to make you uncomfortable. Now, you paid it no mind and sometimes even forgot about it.

“There.” You sighed, carefully pushing his shirt sleeve back down over his shoulder after taking care of a cut. He stared as you stood over him, looking him over to make sure you got everything. Your eyes scanned him until you got this masked face, seeing more blood on the mask itself and also some parts of his exposed skin from under the mask. You’ve never seen him without it on and you never wanted to ask in case it upset him, but you’re worried.

“Um, do you mind if this comes off too?” Unintentionally, your voice came out small and your throat felt a little dry. You didn’t mean to sound so nervous but you couldn’t help it.

He didn’t make any moves that indicated a yes or a no, only staring up at you. You slightly shuffled uncomfortably before deciding ‘fuck it’ and slowly lift your hand towards the mask. Your finger tips barely made contact with the bottom of before his own hand shot up at light speed and grabbing yours, making you nearly jump out of your skin. His hand gripped yours tightly and it was a little painful but ignored it and swallowed hard before opening your mouth to say something else.

“I-I just want to see if you need stitches or something.” Your voice was shaky and the sound of your heart pounding from the jumpscare was loud in your ears. “I don’t want you to get infected.”

He sat there, staring up at you from his seat and clenching your hand for a few more seconds before letting go. A quiet, relived sigh left your lips as the pain dissipated from your poor hand and you wiggled your fingers a little, trying to get out any lingering pain. Michael looked down as his hands came up and gripped the mask, slowly taking it off.

When the mask was fully off he didn’t look back up at you, letting his gaze linger down at the mask in his hands. For some reason, this made you nervous again but you swallowed your fear and spoke up. “Can I see?”

He was still. Is he afraid of something? Is he nervous too? Most likely, you’ll never know the thoughts swimming through his mind. He’s never been an easy person read, which is how he likes it. Honestly though, he was a little scared. He does’t want to be perceived as just a man and that’s all he felt like without his mask. With it on, he felt powerful and people feared him. Now, here he is risking that reputation and for what? A few cuts and bruises? He knows he doesn’t have to do this but something about your good nature towards him compelled him and it was leaving him feeling conflicted.

“Michael?”

Your voice interrupted his thoughts and he huffed, acknowledging that he heard you.

“Can I see?” You asked one more time. Michael sighed and lifted his head, locking eyes with you once more. You had to stop yourself from gasping at the man in front of you. You’ve thought about what he might look like before but you never expected him to be so… pretty. A smile formed on your face as you tried to fight the blush that threatens to light up your cheeks. “There you are!” You said cheerfully.

He isn’t sure what you meant by that but he sat up straight to let you examine the cuts on his face. You leaned in closer to get a good look but not too close so you didn’t make him uncomfortable.

“Just a couple scratches.” You said, mostly to yourself. “These don’t look bad at all. You’ve got quite the bruise here, though-“ without thinking your hand came up to lightly trace the dark spot that formed near his eye but before you could, his hand came up once again squeezing yours and making squeak in surprise. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking!” You winced.

Micheal stared up at you with a dangerous expression. How could you be so absent minded? Have you forgotten who he is? Did taking of his mask actually ruin your image of him? The thought of his dangerous reputation being ruined angered him and he absent mindedly squeezed your hand harder just thinking about it.

“Michael, your hurting me!” You were nearly on the verge of tears from the pain and trying to pull your hand away.

Michael started thinking about how much you’ve done for him over the time he’s known you. Always worrying about him, giving him a place to hide and rest, feeding him. Would letting down his walls be so bad if it was just you? He knows he’d be just fine without you but thinking of you not existing in his life made him disappointed.

His grip on your hand softened but he didn’t let go. He was still holding on firmly, keeping you from pulling away. You gave up and watched him as he watched you. His eyes pierced yours in a way you feel like you hadn’t seen before. You gulped and asked “are you okay?”

Micheal slowly blinked up at you and loosened his grip on you a little more. You could pull away now if you wanted to but made no attempt. What happened next made butterflies erupt your stomach and you know your face was bright red. Micheal slightly turned his head, now facing your hand, keeping his eyes on you, and placed a gentle kiss to the middle of your palm. Your heart was pounding so hard the sound was nearly deafening in your ears. As his lips left your hand, he softly pressed it against his cheek. You weren’t sure what caused his sudden change in mood, but, honestly, you weren’t complaining.

Your eyes flicked to his lips for a split second before looking back into his eyes. He noticed but made no moves and you were fine with it. Just being close like this was enough.

[strayheartless]

genesis is sick seph and angeal are taking care of him

There is a severe temptation to Rag on Genesis and make this crack, but I Im too much of a sucker for Angst and Hurt/comfort😅. I have accepted my role really, and I love it. Never come to me for Crack, I always just make it sad.

SO!!!

CW for: vague descriptions of vomiting, discussions of childhood sickness, discussions of experimental poisoning/ testing.

Angeal stares at the steam rising from the cettle as it boils. He's exhausted and if he's honest with himself he's terrified. This doesn't happen to them, they don't get sick! And even on the odd ocassions they do, it is never like this.

when Genesis had complained of a headache the afternoon before, Angeal had rolled his eyes at the man and sparingly suggested he rest his eyes from reading. when the complaints of it getting worse hadn't stopped he'd snapped at Gen to go lay down in a dark room if its so bad. Only to be shocked when Genesis had swayed like a stick of bamboo the wind unon standing up.

Gen had gone quiet after that, Lying on his own office couch with the lights off and not moving. By the end of the day, when Sephiroth had swung by both of their officed to collect them for dinner, Genesis had developed a cough... and then the cough got worse.

... and worse.

When Gena was little, Angeal remembered he was sick a lot. Flu, Scarlet fever, colds, migraines, it didn't really matter what it was Genesis seemed to get it. Usually he'd just complain and sneeze and be obnoxious. But other times ha remembered his mother being called for when Gen wouldn't get out of bed, wouldn't speak or move much except to cry or struggle to breath.

Now felt like one of those times.

They had been up all night with him, taking turns to whip his brow and sooth him through the endless coughing fits, vomiting and barly cognazent concious moments. Sephiroth had Tied up his own hair and then Gena's when the stress started getting too much, and angeal had winced when Genesis had whimpered at the preasure on his scalp... But it was better that then trying to sponge sick out of his hair.

After twelve hours of pure torture for everyone involved, Gena's fever broke and he gained a little bit more licidity. Now it was just making sure he made a full recovery.

Angeal made up a two cups of coffee and placed a clean rag over the bowl of Chicken noodle soup he'd warmed. He doubted Genesis would be able to keep all of it sown, but they at least needed to try. Placing it all on a tray he trecked back to the bedroom.

"How are we looking?" He asked upon entering. Sephiroth was sat in the squishy reading chair that usually sat in the Corner of Gena's room, looking only maginally less tired than Angeal felt. The man was used to insomnia.

"he woke up for only a minute or two. I managed to get him to drink some water," Seph whispered back, taking the cup that was handed to him.

Angeal sighed and sat on the end of the bed. "I never thought I'd say this but i think I need to hear him being dramatic,"

Sephiroth hummed and looked back at Genesis on the bed. He didn't look peaceful exactly, there was too much sweat and signs of distress about his person for that, but he he no longer seened to be in active discomfort and stress. angeal watched Seph scan his eyes over their lovers face and body, taking note of everything he could.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly, placing a hant on Sephiroths thigh and squeezing.

Sephiroth twitched his nose slightly, a little stress tell they'd long ago realised he was considering variables that he didn't like. It was upsetting how often those variables were the truth.

"I'm thinking, we may need to pay a visit to Hollander once he is not in danger any more" Angeal blinked at him.

"You think Hollander did this to him?" he asked, with a note of scepticism to his voice. "Seph, babe, I know you have reason to mistrust scientists, but this is Hollander we're talking about here. He's not Hojo, he doesn't do things like this!"

"No? Angeal, consider for a second. Genesis goes down to the lab for a pre mission check up" Sephiroth bracketted the words with air quotes, and Angeal would have snorted at how very Zack the gesture was had he not started to feel sick himself. Sephiroth continues.

"And when he comes back from the lab he complains that he has a headache; something he has not complained of since he was a third, I know because I checked -"

"you accessed his medical records? seph tha-"

"Hush. complains of a headache and then all of a sudden the mission is cancled due to prioritising and Genesis does not even have the time to feel angered at any kind of usually percieved slight against his skill before he's going down - in a single afternoon Angeal- with a severe fever, sickness, apparent chest infection and the worst migraine he has had since he wat fourteen."

Layed out as plainly as Sephiroth had put it, it did seem awfully convenient that Genesis had not been sent away as this was developing. in fact Angeal could track Sephiroths logic almost perfectly with little room to suggest conicidence. But this was Hollander .The man was a bastard, that Angeal would fully admit, but he had never purposfully poisoned them before, not in the ways Hojo had done to Sephiroth.

"Could you two discuss the conspiricy of my death a little quieter please?" came a rough voice from behind him, and when he turned to follow Sephs redirected gaze he saw Genesis attempting to pull himself up into a sitting position.

He got up to help, but was flapped at irately when he went to support Gena's back.

"How do you feel?" he asked softly, and Genesis sighed.

"Like I went round for round with the Midgar Zolom and then decided to train with Sephiroth as a masocistic treat to myself," Sephiroth snorted as he moved to Gens other side, sitting on the bed with him and pulling the red head to lean against his sweater clad side.

Gen leaned into it with a comfroted hum, reaching for Angeal who came easily. winding his ams around the both of them and placing his chin on Gen's head.

"If you wanted to fight me like this, i would have been bored by your sloppyness." Sephiroth pokes fun and Genesis squawks indignintly. Angeal chuckled.

"So mean!" Gena weakly punches Sephiroth in the thigh. "I could have very well died!"

Angeal sobered a bit, and from the shit in Sephiroths posture, so did he.

"yes, you could have," he murmered and Genesis' anger Deflated. He coughed into his fist as he relaxed against them, and when his breath caught, the two sat him up straighter so that he could breath better as he Coughed harder.

"S-sorry" he weezed.

"It's fine love," Ageal whispered handing him the glass of water. Gen Gulped it down and sat back again.

"I have not missed being this ill." he commented. "Reminds me of of the time I had scarlet fever, though I confess I don't actually remember a lot of the experience. mostly the pain,"

They sat there for a while in silence, Seph playing with the promise ring on Gena's left hand while Angeal combed out some of the knots out from his hair. after about half an hour, Genesis spoke; his breath rattling in his chest a little.

"Do you truely think Hollander did this to me?" he asked, not looking at either of them.

"I do," was all Sephiroth gave him, and Angeal sensed that Genesis din't know what to do with that information. what were you supposed to say when the man in charge of you medically was suspected of trying to kill you?

There was nothing anyone could say that could ever make that okay.

"I made you soup, if you're up for eating?" he offered instead and Genesis seemed to welcome the distraction, making grabby hands at him, like a child, as he reached for the still warm bowl.

As Angeal and Sephiroth watched him eat, they glanced at each other, a silent agreement being made. It this was Hollander -and Gods above did Angeal hope it wasn't - Then they would do everything in their power to hunt that man down and end him before he had the chance to make Genesis suffer further.

[hmshermitcraft]

grian/mumbo/xisuma (implied polyhermits?), hurt/comfort, implied/vague gender dysphoria tw

mumbo knew it was coming. he knew from the way his skin was breaking out, and the way he felt light headed even while sat down, and the way every little thing was making him want to cry or become violently angry… his period was coming.

it didn’t come as often as most people’s and was quite irregular, but he was fit as a fiddle with very little stress day to day with a server full of loved ones willing to help with any stresses that may come his way. so, he was fine, right?

no. not at all. he could tell just from the early symptoms this would be bad. he’d blown up at several people for small mistakes or poorly worded jokes, both highly emotional from his hormones but also cranky because he could barely stomach food with how bad his cramps were getting.

so, to avoid hurting the ones he loved, he looked himself away in his vault in hopes of coping with his next days of misery all alone.

xisuma was immediately made aware of the incidents which has led to mumbo hiding himself away. none of the hermits were particularly upset with mumbo, they knew he was just in a bad mood (although no one knew why.) so, when mumbo didn’t leave his vault for more than a day, xisuma decided he’d has enough time to cool down and probably needed some support.

as he landed on the bridge by mumbo’s vault, grian came fluttering over to give his boyfriend and tight hug. “Hello, my love. are you here to check on mumbo?”

“Yes, would you like to join me?” Xisuma held Grian’s hands as the shorter nodded, then began leading him towards the vault.

A few knocks at the vault door were met woth silence, leading to Xisuma and Grian looking around for a few minutes before finding the button to unlock Mumbo’s vault door. They entered with ease, and would have been laughing at the slime blocks that had launched them if not for the state of mumbo’s vault.

it was totally dark, with his bed pushed deep into the corner as he layed there and sobbed. every mirror was covered, one by his suit jacket and a few others by blankets. everything was disheveled, some chests still open with clothes and books strewn around the floor. grian quickly pulled out a lantern and gripped xisuma’s hand tight as they walked towards the lump under mumbo’s blankets.

they quickly recognised the sobs to be mumbo’s and immediately jumped into action. grian placed down the lamp and began to clean mumbo’s floor. sure, he hated organising his own things but he’d happily help mumbo with anything (even cleaning.) meanwhile, xisuma began to gently rub mumbo’s arm from over the blanket, beginning to soothe the sobs coming from their sensitive boyfriend.

eventually, mumbo sniffled hard and poked his head out from under the blankets. “im sorry…” he immediately said, upon seeing both his boyfriends.

“mumbo, why are you sorry?” xisuma asked, cautiously bringing his hand up to stroke mumbo’s hair which he immediately leaned into.

“i’m sorry you guys had to come, you didn’t need to.. i was just gonna deal with this on my own, and i didn’t want anyone to see me like this.”

“Mumbo, you don’t have to deal with anything on your own ever! we aren’t ever gonna judge you or see you differently just because of this… you do know that, don’t you?” Grian came closer and took mumbo’s hand gently.

the three stayed close for a while, xisuma and grian holding mumbo close as he finally calmed down.

when he was calm enough, mumbo was able to get himself showered and into fresh pyjamas, despite the struggle to have to see himself like that. xisuma changed mumbo’s bedding and got him some extra pillows and plushies while grian made him some snacks, some water and strength potions. healing potions never usually helped with periods, as your body wasn’t damaged but extra strength did make the pain easier to cope with.

of course, once mumbo was truly feeling better they’d have to have a nice long talk about how he didn’t need to isolate himself and that the hermits were happy to support him through anything. and he had a few small apologies to the hermits he’d had a go at a few days earlier.

It's hard to think of anything when you're miserable and in pain. Grian and X may not have first-hand experience, but they can tell just by looking at Mumbo. Even with two extra bodies, it's hard to get through the worst of it.

Mumbo will want to be touched and cuddled. And then he doesn't want anyone even brushing against his skin whatsoever. He'll be absolutely ravenous for sugar and carbs and then feel sick and bloated.

It feels like one extreme to the next. But, with another day or so of hot water bottles, potions and experimenting with food, Mumbo can say he's past the worst of it. The idea of wearing anything tight fitting still makes him want to cry, but he's not confined to a single room anymore.

Grian and X are mostly concerned about Mumbo going through that every month (and the other hermits that menstruate) but Mumbo assures them it isn't usually like that! That was just a particularly bad one and he was stubborn and didn't think to do anything to lessen it-

Mumbo gets a kiss to shut him up. Time to get out the calender and start planning.

[coinfight]

finally looked at the feedback and I appreciate all of them!! I'll comment my thought process on the common complaints publicly before talking with the current other mod

the +2 for non-gender was added with me thinking it will encourage people to coin stuff other than genders, which there is already a near endless amount of in the community, but it seems it was taken advantage of, unfortunately. Im planning to either only make it +1, make it so vague terms fall under 'gender' in this case (such as, a term related to x, rather than a y term related to x), or remove this system altogether.

the revenge mechanic was introduced mostly with me thinking people will be encouraged to attack more knowing they'll be likely to get something back as revenge, but I didnt anticipate it getting this out of hand to the point people were getting 20 points with 1 attack :'3. the revenge chain seems to be confusing for some anyway. this system worked better on art fight, where the points were counted automatically, and art that took more time got more points so it felt more balanced. Im planning the either cap it somewhere (maybe only 1 revenge gets counted ever and gets +2?), or remove it altogether

we most definitely both need more mods and better communication, this was a problem not once, but twice during the event. I can excuse this for now because we were mostly in a rush to get things ready and I did not get to flesh out the rules to the other mod before it started, but I do not want this to be a continued issue for next year.

the rush to start to event also caused for a lack of preparations and promotions for the event, so we let people join within the week the event was going on to make up for it. this eventually gave one team an unfair advantage. this will not be occurring next year, hopefully, as the team picking will be done a week prior and the reblogs will be locked once the 2nd day of the event comes around.

Ive seen a few comment about how there being a lack of prizes means a lack of insentive to participate, which I understand completely, but I cannot give a voucher to everyone in one team, that would take a lot out of me when the event already did so anyway, but we may work on graphics for the winners! just a lil trophy for them to share their pride through.

there not being a set time zone seems to have been an issue, especially at the end of the event. for next year Im going to try to base the beginning and end of the event through the central time zone, with daily submission limits still being through the participant's own time zone.

all of these worked fine for last year, because it was a small event meant to celebrate a milestone I got with something a little different than the usual 'coining event'. it was between internet friends, and so the air was a lot less competitive. this is no longer the case as coinfight grew twice as big since then, with a wider range of participants, both familiar and unfamiliar to me. I am grateful for this, however that means it is also harder to keep track of, and rely on participant integrity.

one thing I do NOT remember last year having is a 3 submissions per day rule, I cant tell if I just forgot I had that rule up or the other mod decided it would be appropriate, which it was! we could hardly keep up with 3 submissions per day by every participant, and I even gave up a little by the end. I do not think we will be changing this, except the ability to make up for lost days. this would, however, add another thing for us to keep track of.

I will forward all your complaints to the other mod (bc I used a personal email to make the survey like a dummy) and hear what she has to say.

do not be sad that you've upset us or anything, you havent! we asked for feedback for a reason, and will be using it to make next year better than ever!

with love to the entire mogai community, -🫀

[ge]

can I hear more abt your trans chung myung thoughts please

.

HEHE ANYTHING FOR YOU MY ANGELS... trans chung myung is like my number one, most well loved & personal, firmest hc evur.. no matter what he is always trans to me idk..he is like the most trans character ive ever seen its sooo real to me.. ive said it once ill say it again, chung myungs lore is literally impact by his transsexualism and im the only one who sees it.. if u get it u get it... a little cw for minor transphobia out of ignorance, not prejudice..⬇️

i always imagined that chung myung knew he was trans since he was very young, like 'beginning to comprehend words and what they mean' young.. he always got angry and aggressive when his sect siblings called him young lady or samae, sajeo, etc, lashing out even at elders to the point hed get in trouble over it... i think pretty quickly everyone figured out if they just 'humoured' him, he'd get over whatever phase he was in and stop being so troublesome, so they did.. at first they began using more masculine terms and honourifics in a 'wink wink nudge' indulgent kind of way but they noticed as he got older, he started inserting himself into more male dominated spaces, even going so far as to bathe and groom himself w the other male disciples

at first it kind of set off red flags for everyone who were still under the impression chung myung was still just going through his little 'phase' but i think chung mun was the first who stepped up and actually ASKED chung myung about it.. he pulls chung myung to the side one day and asks WHY chung myung keeps doing the things he does and chung myung frowns and says because im a boy sahyung..DUH.. chung myung explains the best he can but bc he doesnt really know how to articulate himself on these matters (doesnt know any other trans people or experiences outside of his own and cant put it into words properly) and bc chung mun is cis, chung mun is still a little confused but now he understands chung myung isnt like..joking about this, or going through some sort of phase.. he seemed genuinely put out and upset when implied chung mun didnt understand him so from that day forward chung mun very firmly introduces chung myung to everyone in the sect as their littlest brother and that was pretty much that..

it probably took some people a while to wrap their head around, but because i dont want anyone in mt hua to be transphobic LOL they all understand and accept chung myung as their new baby brother pretty quickly and soon they dont even bat an eye seeing him train topless or bathe w the rest of the guys, doing other guy dominated activities, etc.. when he got older it was just normalized that one of their brothers had boobs..literally nobody gaf theyre REAL trans allies.. mount hua most PROGRESSIVE MARTIAL ARTS SECT

also majorly hc chung myung does not have any bodily dysphoria/morphia and is perfectly fine w the way he looks, especially after he gets older and starts building lots of muscle, so he never undergoes any gender affirming surgeries but he does take wuxia testosterone pills.. cuz i think the idea of wuxia magic hormone pills is hilarious and awesome

ive also put some thought into whether cho sams body would be trans or cis, because either could be interesting.. i feel like if cho sam were cis it would actually invoke body image issues and dysphoria in chung myung, having been thrust into a body so unfamiliar & alien to him than the one he spent the most time living in and caring for.. i dont really think too much in depth about this tho so my thoughts on it are pretty vague.. is cho sam cis or trans? (shrugs) up to you!

ummm *scratches ass* i cant think of anything else to say.. trans chung myung is so awesomesauce and i love projecting my own transmasc wants and desires onto him and into a world that accepts and loves him for who he is.. i have more thoughts about his relationship w tang bo and the world around them and how they view him but those are a little more personal and nuanced so i wont get into all dat.... when rotmhs gets more popular i hope trans chung myung hc blows up cuz its sooo real... something something chung myungs reincarnation into cho sam is a trans allegory

[snowyvoid]

ohhh my god your benrey design slaps. can i hear more about the mandibles and antennae? if there's any more to share, that is. are they always there? or is it more of a comfort thing to keep? what sort of colouration does your benrey have? -- voidvoice

thank you so much!!!

ok so. around around 2022/2023 i first gave him antenna because i was watching the hlage streams and saw some of the weird alien plants that looked vaguely like antennae and went "lol what if benry had that" and went crazy from there. as i said before his mandibles originated from me wanting to incorporate some headcrabish features into him, but the eventually developed into more insect looking over time. the whole insect/invertebrate look i gave benry factors into the idea i have for his complete transformation kinda look. though i do think his TRUE true from would be something like what you see when you stand up too fast, i cant really draw that. ill add a few drawings from early 2023 i did of his buggish true form at the end of this. anyway. i think the closest looking real life creature that fits his mandibles are mantis shrimp, or maybe praying mantis'. his antennae change a lot in my drawings, but they mostly look like bipectinate antennae in moths and butterflies. yes he absaloutely has a heightend sense of smell because of these, and it fucks him up all the time. he cannot work in food related places because of this.

i think he has them out as much as he possibly can, and he thoroughly preffers to look as alien as he possibly can at all times. he can put away the mandibles if absaloutely necessary, but the antennae cant go away. they are however the most permanent parts of his general appearance when he shapeshifts, for example if he where to shapeshift into a dog, that dog would have antennae. or something.

in my personal idea of postcanon, he keeps all his weird powers and stuff, but if he were to loose them, the mandibles and antennae would go along with them. he would be extremely upset about this. so i guess, in a sense, yes they are absaloutely a comfort thing for him. hes kinda werewolf adjacent to me? like, werewolves always seem to have one or two random canine-like features while in their human forms, for example sharp teeth or claws, and for benry this is his insect stuff. the werewolf idea doesnt really work though because he can change whenever he wants, and he wasnt infected by the alien stuff.

the colouration for his antennae and mandibles changes to his sweetvoice, but default to a gradient blue-greenish look. i have no idea about the rest of his features, but i tend to default to blue-green tones for everything about him. i think this is based on his text colour??? maybe. i like the idea of his skin being human coloured though, adds to a sort of uncanny valley he would emit. hes a shapeshifter but there is always something slightly offputting about what he turns into. if that makes sense.

i hope this explains what you wanted to know!!! sorry if this doesnt make much sense, im not that great at putting thoughts in my head into actual word, lol. but ive been having these headcanons for so long so it feels good to get them out.

here is a little collage sort of thing of all the drawings ive made related to benry in his "true" form. these span from early 2022 to now. some have gordon as a kind if size comparison, but benry changes size a lot so they dont really. work. but whatever. also the gordon design in these is old, not my current idea of him. enjoy!!!!!!!

there is a lot more to explain about my ideas around him that would take much longer than this, and a lot i havent quite figured out yet too.

thanks for reading!!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

vaguely points towards the direction of fourth of july by fall out boy. i was talking to my friends ab it being a brian&tim song but honestly? its soo "sorry its licked" jaylex sometimes. "you are my favourite what if, you are my best ill never know." / "oh im sorry, i didnt mean any of it, i just got too lonely, in between being young and being right you were my versailles at night" / "i said id never miss you but i guess you never know" its them.

- lynxb3 (hii!)

Hi Lynxb3 :D (Lynx?) no no, you were right, I'm changing the name to "Sorry, It's Licked" forthwith and rewriting the entire story so that Jay licked Alex's keys so that they belonged to him, as per the ancient laws of the universe

Also you're SO right with that song, there are so many lyrics that work so well for Jay and Alex, and honestly just the comparison to fireworks all the way through the song works for them as well. because like, when done properly fireworks can be fun and beautiful, but if you fuck up even a little bit when you're setting them up they can shoot off in the wrong direction or too early or too late and really badly hurt people. Like, yes, they can be beautiful, but you can also get severe burns from them and stuff like that. Which, yeah that's Jaylex in S,IL alright lol.

Anyway, looking at specific lyrics under the thingy bob cos it got long:

"I said I'd never miss you, but I guess you never know, May the bridges I have burned, Light my way back home on the fourth of July" is one of the lyrics that really feels like Jay and Alex to me, like, specifically the idea that after everything got SUPER fucked up in uni and they finally parted ways, neither of them realised just how much they'd miss each other? Like, i think especially Alex wouldn't have realised it, because he's gonna break it off fairly impulsively (it's still a good decision, but it's a fairly split second one all the same) right after Jay really badly hurts him, so obviously he wouldn't think he'd miss Jay, because the last time he saw him was a time when Jay did something that really fucked him up, y'know?

and then like, the bridge between them is burned, duh, but they still find their ways back to each other years later during the events of MH. And that bridge is still burned, but instead of being a blazing inferno it's just glowing coals. Which obviously isn't gonna be fun to walk across, you'll burn your feet and there's the constant threat that a board will give way and send you plummeting into the water rushing below. And, yeah, that does happen, they both get burned then Alex purposefully shoves Jay off the bridge and sets it back on fire because that's the only thing he can think to do to stop Jay following him back across it, which would get Jay killed.

"You are my favorite what if, You are my best I'll never know" Jay and Alex both definitely had at least a phase of thinking about what they could have been if the other person hadn't fucked it up. or, well Jay would have thought about what they could have been if Alex hadn't fucked it up. Alex would have thought about what they could have been if both of them hadn't fucked it up.

Alex isn't unaware that his own actions and behaviors had a hand in their relationship failing/not going further than FWB's, but he doesn't think he's solely to blame. I think for a long time he did just purely blame himself, mostly because Jay verbally/outwardly blamed him too, like, just straight to his face made him feel like it was his fault. But (especially after he got together with Amy) he'd eventually come to realise Jay was at fault too, that they both fucked it up and chances were that they could never have worked out while they were both still 'themselves'. They'd have to have been so different than they were for their uni relationship to have worked out/been healthy.

"And I'm starting to forget, Just what summer ever meant to you, What did it ever mean to you?" Honestly, I can't decide which of them would have been more upset to find themselves forgetting things about the other, like, after a year or two of just not talking to each other or seeing each other at all after Uni.

Maybe Jay would be the most upset if he did forget anything, but I don't think he would forget that much? If that makes sense? Like, I think that relationship in uni had such an impact on him that he wouldn't forget nearly anything about it, and i think that he'd honestly hate that because he'd be so angry at Alex for how it ended (i have evil plans to give them a terrible 'break up' lmao, they do about it so fucking badly) like, I think Jay remembered Alex's birthday more easily than he remembers anyone elses, even the people he actually cared about actively, I think he would still remember Alex's favourite meal and his favourite songs, I think he'd remember the bands Alex told him he used to listen to before he met Jay, all the random ass shit. and he would hate it.

he'd hate that he remembers more about Alex than he does about his current partner or his current friends or anyone else. (no I'm not projecting. No i don't hate that I struggle to remember my best friends' birthdays but I remember a certain not-technically-my-ex's birthday without even having to think about it, because I got hyperfixated on him and my brain decided to keep weird random facts about him, what are you talking about?)

On the other hand, I think Alex would forget a lot about Jay, whether that's because of Operator mind fuckery or just as a natural thing he would have forgotten no matter what, and I think he'd hate it. I think he'd hate realising he forgot something about Jay, especially as he slowly came to terms with his sexuality and realised that he had in fact really liked Jay and just hadn't known how to deal with it, so had just shoved it down and vehemently ignored it. I think he'd hate it if he realised he could no longer remember Jay's favourite colour, his favourite season, his favourite whatever.

I think it'd make him worry about what else he didn't remember about Jay, it'd make him worry that he was forgetting good things about Jay and making it so that his mind could only paint Jay in a bad light when actually there were things he'd forgotten that would place him in a getter one.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean any of it, I just got too lonely, lonely, whoa" God, Jay and Alex say so many nasty things to each other that they don't mean in S,IL (like, over the whole series not just in the main starting fic) Like, in chapter 2 of S,IL with Alex saying anything and everything horrible that he could think of to scare Jay away and make him hate him so he stopped trying to find out what happened to Alex in uni to make him the way he is now with all the Operator stuff. and then also in chapter 3 of "If It Ain't Broken" Jay remembers a fight he and Alex had, and remembers some of the really nasty shit he said to Alex during that (and probably forgets a whole bunch of it too, because he struggles to remember stuff that happens when he's like REALLY angry, everything just kinda greys out and he doesn't remember anything much about what happened)

god they're both so horrible to each other sometimes 💀

I am a cruel god forcing their hands.

They could have been happy but I'm just here like "dance for me my pets, dance for me and perhaps I'll reward you with some sliver of fluff for you to wrap your wounds with."

And then I give their promised fluff to someone else 💀

"Don't tell me you cried, Oh, honey, you don't have to lie" (i thought this line was 'don't tell me you're fine, oh honey you don't have to lie' literally until just now when I finally looked up the lyrics for this post, so well done me) Honestly though, I think if Alex told Jay he'd been upset about ending their FWB relationship in uni Jay wouldn't have believed him. Like, if Alex had told Jay he'd cried over it, that he'd had to ask Amy to reassure him that it was the right decision and it didn't make him a bad person for ending it, Jay would think he was bullshitting him. He'd think Alex was just saying it to stop him from hating him for it, or to make him feel sorry for him.

"I wish I'd known how much you loved me, I wish I cared enough to know" Alex alex alex alex alex

alex

Specifically alex after uni realising he liked Jay back and wishing he knew how much Jay actually liked him. Like, he knew Jay liked him, obviously, but he didn't know the extent to which he did, he always shut the conversation down the second it strayed too close to real talk about real feelings, and now he's regretting that. he wished he knew, he wishes he'd cared enough to ask about it. He wished he'd consciously cared enough about Jay to get over his fear of being in love with another guy, but that wasn't how it turned out and now he's left thinking back on what they had and picking through every little thing he remembered Jay doing and saying, trying to find something to tell him exactly how much Jay liked him.

did Jay just like him casually? did Jay love him? did jay like to think they could have ended up being partners for life if Alex had just gotten over himself? or was the furthest he saw them theoretically getting just a short-ish relationship once they got out of uni, before they eventually parted ways, or maybe remained friends after that?

Alex would feel bad about not having cared enough about Jay to get over caring about himself and his fear of himself and how people percieved him. Even though he'd know that his fear of people thinking/finding out that he was queer in some way was a very valid fear to have. Y'know?

"I'm sorry every song's about you, The torture of small talk with someone you used to love" honestly this one is just the awkwardness of Alex seeing Jay again for the first time since he gave him the tapes after Uni. Like, Alex has done all sorts of introspection and come to terms with his identity and has realised he did like Jay back back in uni and just hadn't known how to deal with that. And now he's lost Amy, and he's face to face with someone he's realised he actually used to really like, and oh god maybe he still likes him, and he just doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know how to talk to him, he doesn't know how to make it so this isn't awkward.

[apopcornkernel]

funnily enough im pretty sure i did read the actual comics before wfa. i vaguely remember reading utrh first? and then i either watched the movie next or read batman's whole robinjay run + aditf + alpod. and then wfa. i only read detective comics' robinjay after i finished wfa i think. i know i also spedran all of the post-crisis jason's death aftermath/appearances according to the reading list by dailyjasontodd. spedran his stuff post-resurrection too, minus countdown, 52, brothers in blood; i only realized I'd already read outsiders before when i reread it just now, though. which is really funny like the reason i remembered was because anissa and grace got together. that's how i knew I'd read the comic before. i was like oh i remember these gay bitches. i know there was a time after comics where i then dove into fandom and just immersed myself with art, fic, and posts. it was a little weird at first but i hadn't read enough for the other characters to know, and it's very easy to get drawn into fanon bc its satisfying to an extent, you know. ooh, i know i read three jokers early on. i was in love with that artist's jason and i found that one panel really funny (babs "he literally killed a man" bruce "you don't understand... jason's suffering"). i dont remember much about my first batman period. i do know it was all batman tho.

this is getting long.

my second batman period (more accurately termed batman/dc) was mostly me revisiting fics and remembering canon things that made me upset again. oh and also other robinjay stories that i hadn't read before like the cult, etc. but after some time i, and i dont know how this happened, got interested in hal jordan. i genuinely think it was just a fanart i saw of him with white temples. i thought it was hot and imagine my delight when i found out it was canon. and then i found out he turned villain and i was like WOAH I NEED TO GET ON THIS and tada, speedran parallax arc all the way to the spectre. tried reading rebirth and hated it so bad. stopped reading hal after that. somewhere along the way i found myself reading superman. then i dont know how this happened but i got interested in matrix/mae kent specifically and read up on her origin. afterwards i went to death of superman all the way to his resurrection and mae/lex breakup arc. i think this period fizzled out shortly after that. ooh, im checking my gallery rn, apparently i also read death metal and the return of bruce wayne. i dont remember anything about the latter. i remember being pissed at the former. i also read the damian resurrection arc and got really mad at an interview in one of the comics bc it was more of those "bruce feels more strongly for damian than his other kids bc damian is his Real Son" like bitch. No.

OH!! i also read the long halloween & dark victory during this time! this must have been when the batman came out. ALSO READ CONNOR!! i started at the time ollie died and went on until the time ollie came back but connor was now comatose (?). i remember a lot of screenshotting panels bc of how appalling the coloring was, connor's skin color was disrespected so much in this few issues 😭

ooh, interesting. after connor panels there's no more until this year, which would be my 3rd dc period. i reread the long halloween and dark victory, and then finished the last few chapters of the spectre. after that i started young justice but never finished. i reread utrh, and then funnily enough went straight to reading all about steph up to war games. after steph i read some other robin tim issues at random and then i finally read brothers in blood. quick break for batman year 100 and then right into batgirl (this was right after lee and i became mutuals). ooh, spirit world. and then ram v's the vigil. then i read rhato special? special? idk if that's the name but it was like a oneshot for rhato? or was it rhato #0? idk. i laughed the entire time. it was so bad. then i read gotham war, hated it. read some issues of black and white. three jokers again. finally read robins by seeley. robin year one. some pre-crisis jason esp the nocturna arc. tt #29. issues of gotham knights #43 something? + the interview about jason issue. actually i think that's all in the same arc. batman prodigal. pre-crisis talia. mandatory reread of batman #496. tried to start countdown, failed. the cult reread. BIRDS OF PREY!! cry of blood, and then a vichelena binge. the huntress cavalieri! the question o'neil! read a lot of huntress. tripped abruptly into hawk and dove, read a lot of cameos after their solos ended. read identity crisis after seeing the bruce tim panel. read jade (nguyen) in preparation for my comm critical essay. read superman again for the invisible mafia. started both superwoman 2016 and steelworks but never finished. read talia lexcorp arc and Never Recovered. tower of babel. redemption lost (ASS). rucka's wonder woman & the hiketeia. some titans bc of jade. more jade stuff. more huntress stuff (specifically nightwing cameos). read tom fucking taylor nightwing. started but did not finish dixon nightwing after that. started a reread of the spectre. started reading azrael + knightfall stuff but am not finished. was hit with the jli disease (lethal). then went back into superman comics but specifically the start of the lex luthor 2 arc + mae :). and now retracing post-rez pre-morrison jason comics

[thechaoticreader]

I have to rant about Tender Is The Flesh!!

Last year I read Tender is The Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica and I haven't seen many people agree with me so if Booktok has been yelling at you to read it and you're tired of the vague positive reviews, this is for you!

*Disclaimer: this is all my opinion/feelings, if you loved this book I'm glad and if a negative review of a book you love will be upsetting please protect your peace and ignore me <3*

General Thoughts & Why I Hate It

Im going to start out by saying I am a vegetarian and used to be strictly vegan! The book is very heavy handed about its eating meat=bad beliefs which I found exhausting. At many times throughout the story I found myself shouting "OH MY GOD I GET IT!!! MEAT IS MURDER. JUST TELL ME THE STORY" into the void. It makes very weird parallels that I don't agree with and there was next to no room for nuanced discussion. It felt like the author was holding my hand and explaining absolutely everything, not letting me infer anything, which I personally don't enjoy. I will say its possible that because it is a translated novel that the above issues only apply to the English translation and that its a fault of the translator rather than Augustina.

Another issue I have is that to me none of the characters actually felt like fleshed out people, rather just objects things happen to/around. The main characters motivations make no sense (especially in the second half), where he doesn't even feel like a person, you don't really get to know him and then what little you do gets completely contradicted in the second half of the book. The main character at the beginning is almost unrecognizable from himself by the end. I can't even call it character development because it feels like he sees one shitty thing than a switch flips and he's completely different. Through the whole time reading, I did not feel any type of way towards any character, I didn't care about any of them which made it hard to care about the novel. When I first finished it I felt no type of way but the longer I've had to sit with it, the more I'm growing to dislike it. The worst part is that it could have been so good, with some more nuance and character development it would have been a very interesting story!

There is also a graphic sexual assault scene which I wish I had known about going in. As a surviver of S/A I try to stay away from novels with it unless I've had time to prepare and be in a good headspace to consume it. So a completely RANDOM S/A scene that doesn't matter to the plot really caught me off guard and almost immediately ruined the book. I'm fine with assault scenes if and only IF it is important to the plot/character development. My problem is when its thrown in to demonstrate a character being shitty or for shock value, which I feel is the reason it was included in Tender Is The Flesh; if you removed the whole chapter it would make absolutely no difference and THATS where I have the problem.

My Problem with BookTok & Advertising

First, booktokers and book tubers saying that its best to go into blind and not giving a trigger warning for S/A. I think its generally irresponsible to not give trigger warnings and to encourage people to go in knowing nothing, its so easy to say "hey this book has _" so that survivors aren't further harmed. This is a general criticism that I'll probably do another post going into further.

Second, people call it a horror novel when its really not, its a dystopian and while not a huge issue, it just sets up expectations that it doesn't live up to! It felt a lot more akin to books like the Handmaids Tale than those in the horror genre. So if you want a horror novel, probably don't pick this up but if you want a kinda disturbing, dark dystopian then maybe this will be your book! Accuracy in genre is important because there are tons of people who love one genres and hate other, like myself who eat, sleeps and breaths horror but has never found a proper dystopian that I even kinda enjoyed. Or, people who love romance and don't care about fantasy may like a romantacy but hate a fantasy with a small romance side plot.

Anyway those are my feelings, I hope it helps someone decide if they want to read it or not! Once again, if you disagree thats totally okay! If you loved the book, I'm so happy for you! My problems with it shouldn't detract from hour enjoyment of it!

[blood-starved-beast]

hey so i actually have a question regarding acxas childhood like what are your headcanons on it? i always got the feeling that she grew up with her non galra parent/species and was sort of treated as an outsider for being half galra (i mean naturally considering that they most likely invaded their planet but yeah of course it was a terrible experience that definitely contributed/was the main factor of acxas inner turmoil) and it would make sense as to why she would seek out lotor and his vision of the empire for acceptance there if she cant find it here(?) this is just my thoughts im curious abt what u think

In canon, we get very little of Acxa's backstory, and it's all localized to personal anecdotes by Acxa herself in the Grudge. She tells Veronica she's "born and bred in war" which is both very specific and also extraordinarily vague.

For one, we know what happens in war. I don't think Acxa was born from a loving relationship that's for sure. "Bred in" is more specific - she didn't grow up learning about war, she was in the thick of it. This is why I don't buy headcanons that put her in military school or that she was raised by her galran family. She mentions survival - which yeah in a particularly militaristic society such as the galra, death is probably very easy to come by but again it goes back to war - she's not in training for war she was in the war. This is why I suspect she grew up in a warzone. Specifically, one in immense chaos and disarray. I do think cause of her heritage - being half galra - it denied her any form of community connections that could have existed amongst her colonized people.

And that's another clue btw. Acxa identifies as galra. This is a repeated motif throughout the series. When Lotor rages about wiping out all the galra, she immediately sees that as a signal to go, cause in her mind that includes her. In contrast to Lotor, who while strongly identifying more with his Altean side, would posture himself sometimes as Galran. Acxa never is shown identifying with her non-Galran side. In the conversation with Veronica, she refers to the Galra as "her people" never one-half or anything like that.

Instead, what we get in the Grudge, is Acxa being discriminated for being Galran, not her other race. It's an interesting choice on the writers' part. That's what gets her upset. I don't think it's coincidental that in the next scene with her and Veronica, we learn of Acxa's backstory and her experience. I'd say it's deliberate. And ff that is her experience, if she grew up receiving those types of insults, well it makes sense that she takes it to heart so quickly.

Finally, we should talk about how she mentions how she "became worse than her enemies" to survive. Presumably her enemies in a warzone would be the Galra - imperialists, they also discriminate against her (Throk; the Galran obsession with racial purity). Alternatively, her enemies would be the non-galrans who discriminated against her, but I think she refers to the Galra here specifically cause she was a general she directed armies, she is complicit in the death of soldiers, of conquering nations. That is worse than what many of the Galran footsoldiers did, even if she actively avoids killing anyone directly if possible.

There is also Acxa in her discussion with Zethrid later in the episode, mentions her hate and rage and how that is fueled by how the Galra rejected her.

This, I think supports the idea that her enemies were the Galra in this case, that is, the Galra that wouldn't take her in. If she is Galra (which is something I imagine she grew up being told, told by the family she was born to through conquest), she was never apart of her non-galran people to begin with. So where she had to fight, whom she had to fight, to get a place in society is within the Galra - cause she had no chance in hell happening in her non-galran people. With that, "worse than her enemies" carries a distinct flavor of "okay so if I'm Galra, I'm going to be worse than them." Cause otherwise, she'll die. Cause she's not one of them. She'll never be one of them. So she'll be the worst of the Galra if means being at a place for change within them to accept people like her that wouldn't fit in in other places.*

And I agree anon, that Acxa sought out Lotor for acceptance in a way. Lotor was the perfect paragon of what she believed - Half-galra like her, but also distinctly Galran. It's obvious she has the bare minimum of a moral code - she draws the line at genocide (she's very nervous btw, when Lotor admits to killing Alteans, and cuts ties when he mentions doing the same or worse to the Galra)

But she didn't know about that originally.

So yeah that's a lot of buildup to say - I agree a lot with what you say anon. I do think she grew up in an environment that rejected her wholeheartedly - that would make sense, if it was her non-Galran side that under trauma, fully rejects children born from that occupation. So she identifies with the people who would "take her in" or she believes that could be changed - maybe her non-Galran side cannot be sway otherwise cause of the occupation, but the Galran can be changed. I wouldn't be surprised if thinking the Galra could be changed is a rationalization on her part even - maybe she argued with her non-galran parent, who insisted they cannot change, cause they are monsters. That Acxa herself is a monster. Which is exactly her insecurity in the Grudge. That kind of thinking can be fed only by growing up around her non-Galran heritage who were occupied by the Galra. If she can change the Galra, then she isn't a monster too, proving those people wrong.

So yes, I do agree a lot with what you say here anon, maybe some details off (I do think if she grew up with her non-Galran parent, it might be a short while or with very detached parenting, as she mentions surviving without mentioning her parents. I don't think she knew her Galran parent, which I imagine would be her father if only that a Galran female commander would get an abortion or Acxa'd been raised among the Galra, which wouldn't add up with her insecurities).

*This is so Baru Cormorant flavored. Man Acxa you should've been a protagonist in a Lesbian Space Atrocity novel.

[lesboygamzee]

Any examples about the gamtav artist thing?

i dont really want to give examples because i dont want to shit on specific artists even if they piss me off but i can elaborate on shit ive noticed . gonna get ranty so :

tl;dr : gamtav artists who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros have a weird way of characterising both which makes me very uncomfortable and im upset about it because im a little hater . and also because its gross and annoying

i feel like a lot of gamtav artists who just like gamzee and dont care much for tav make it pretty clear they just want gamzee to get what he wants forever and always . which is Bad . thats pretty vague still but yknow ..

they make tavros just kind of . there as a support to gamzee to kiss all his problems away and make him happy and dont really do much of the other way around ( and if they do its always gamzee being like ' [fucked up font] I WILL PROTECT YOU ' while also acting like a romantic relationship would fix tavs problems with .. romance related shit . because they dont want to see the actual issues tavros was going through because they dont care enough about her

obviously the soft non-confrontational accessory-to-another-character characterization of tav isnt specific to gamtav shippers . it is very unfortunately huge in the fandom . but its still very common with them despite it going against .. everything that makes the ship potentially interesting imo .

tavros isnt soft she doesnt go along with everything someone wants of her . especially not a highblood are you fucking insane . tavros should reject gamzee after that initial conevrsation she did not fucking reciprocate ( i dont care about your fanfic ! you arent fixing shit ! ) and even if she did she made it very clear she still didnt want that relationship because give her a fucking break man . if its gonna happen let her come back in a few sweeps when she has less shit to come to terms with and start it up on her terms thats fine . this is the best way of doing it for both of them . gamzee doesnt get to immediately get what it wants and tavros actually gets a fucking say in things . its not that hard to understand

even if it isnt as obvious with some artists its still There . gamzee is the main character focused on in the relationship because the artist just . really doesnt know enough about tavros to write about her further than ' gamzees [girl]friend who [vague traits about her that might not even be canon] ' . and they probably dont care .

they dont care that tavros should be more mean for her own good even if its just playful banter they dont care thered realistically be some conflict between the two if they were ever actually involved with eachothers lives to that extent they dont care that they characterize tavros the way shes expected to act by other characters and not how she actually does . they dont care that tavros is a character separate from the ship they have reduced her down to despite her having ONE ONSCREEN CONVERSATION with gamzee . two pesterlogs that make up one converaation . come on man

i was definitely being a little generalized with the whole ' you can ALWAYS tell super easy ' thing which i will admit i tend to do but really people who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros are just . very prominent in the fandom and there is an upsetting trend od how they porteay gamtav and how it spreads as if any of it is supported by canon .

theres not really a point to this i just really adore tavros shes my favourite ever and has been since her first pesterlog with dave ans it pisses me off to see how the fandom reduces her down to a horribly mischaracterized ship that is admittedly a huge comfort to me !! its upsetting !!

[darthnell]

hii! :> for the fic writer asks: 3, 14, 15, 18, 25!

!!! Ty for these yeahhh!!! :D

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ohhh I love all of my fics I truly do ;-; that being said though it would be illegal if i didnt say True Vengeance given that. Ive spent two and a half years so far writing it and i think about it Literally every day LMAO. “Favorite” simply does not encompass everything i feel about it ;_;

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Also True Vengeance !!! It would make the movie ever djdjdjdkdk. Okay for reals though, I do have like some half baked thoughts about doing a comic version of it (mostly as a long term way to improve my drawing skills) so. Who knows..?? Keep an eye out maybe. In like a few years xjxjdjdk.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Ooohh so some of them are really important and i know them incredibly well in advance. Sometimes im just like “eh yeah thats good enough.” I generally enjoy it when my titles (fic or chapter) have more than one meaning… thats good shit right there. I do have a certain chapter title scheme for my victor exchange fics, which is fun (its just a relevant noun for each but it looks cool trust me).

My fic titles generally just come to me in a burst of insight and im like ok yeah. Thats it right there, and i just Know. Sorry if thats like. Not helpful 😭 ik when i was picking my title for True Vengeance I certainly did not have as much of the story thought out as it is now so. It ended up working out really neatly (also its vague enough that i could work with it xkdkdk)

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

God… cue me taking a trip down memory lane for my favorite lines from all my fics.. but for the sake of the question i will. Just choose one. (Being strategic and doing this before i post the trv finale otherwise i will simply never shut up xjxjdjdk)

From THE REPARATION CLAUSE (1st Games)

It’s fascinating, isn’t it? The power of one very loved, very dead little girl.

This one is. The ending line for that fic and it is just. Woof. I love it. I hate it. I love writing.

Mmmmmokay fine here are some from True Vengeance bc (shakes the fic like that girl from nemo witj the fish in a bag)

Grief is a howling thing.

That's what happens when you let the wolf out of your chest. No amount of regret can take back the bite.

I was supposed to kill him and hate myself for it.

I am sure. I can pull more from the fic, its 250k after all but. We would simply be here all day..! It makes me cry on the reg so there is always that.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Oh, constantly. Today, actually dkkdkeekdkdkdkrkrkskskekekrkdkdkdk

Uhh okay real answer, most of the time when i upset myself its like.. positive..? Like “dang i am Feeling Things about this line” or whatever, and i Love doing that. There Have been times where ive upset myself negatively though and. Do not recommend !!! Be careful out there kids ;-; i will say though, sometimes it can be a really good experience to work through something via writing, but still its beneficial to be cautious and take care of yourself♥️

Thank you again for the tagggg ✨💕♥️♥️