#and im a bitch for not wanting to get out of bed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

https-milo · 3 days ago

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HEY BABES 🗣️🗣️🗣️ back at it again for another insta request, can I pretty please get a inumaki one!!

HAI HONEY!!!! I shall complete your request just because you said pretty please <3

DATING TOGE INUMAKI INSTAGRAM

details!

Instagram posts w/ comments while dating Toge Inumaki

a/n OBVI these are pictures from pinterest, reader can be HOWEVER you imagine

lowkey kinda an AU for my inumaki smau... No curses Au kinda ooc inumaki...

main m. list

yn.playsgames · 19w

21.3k likes Liked by inumaki.speaks, thetigeritadori, megumifushiguro, and nobara.kugi

yn.playsgames they hate it when a thug (me) locks in (partakes in the largest COD tournament) ((I'm wearing my [favorite color] cat headphones))

thetigeritadori IM CHEERING FOR YOU IN THE CROWD 🙏🙏🙏 yn.playsgames thetigeritadori DAMN RIGHT BEST FRIEND!!! 🙏🙏🙏

nobara.kugi bring home the gold or I'll lock you out 😘😘 yn.playsgames nobara.kugi haha... ur joking right.... nobara.kugi yn.playsgames 😁😁😁 thetigeritadori yn.playsgames DW I HAVE A KEY!!

yn.playsgames · 19w

30k likes Liked by inumaki.speaks, thetigeritadori, makizen, yutasgarden, megumifushiguro, and nobara.kugi

yn.playsgames WE WIN THESE!!! Im soooo proud of my team :,) everyone did so good!! HOWEVER!!! MY GOAT inumaki.speaks PULLED THROUGH! GIVE HIM A FOLLOW, YOU WONT REGRET IT 🙏🙏

inumaki.speaks heh... it was no problem... 😼😼 makizen inumaki.speaks I KNOWWW you're not trying to be nonchalant rn... yutasgarden inumaki.speaks yeah... you literally did a cartoon cheer... full on "hip hip hooray" yn.playsgames inumaki.speaks !! I'm glad! we should stream together inumaki.speaks yn.playsgames that would be pretty epic makizen inumaki.speaks crazy... i think I heard another cheer from the living room... inumaki.speaks makizen must've been the wind 🥸🥸

nobara.kugi WELCOME HOME MY DEAR FRIEND!!! yn.playsgames nobara.kugi UH HUH, YEAH!! I expect a fresh dinner laid out for me 😤😤 nobara.kugi yn.playsgames /megumifushiguro megumifushiguro nobara.kugi sigh.

inumaki.speaks · 17w

1.3k likes Liked by yn.playsgames, makizen, and yutasgarden

inumaki.speaks water-side view and beds next to each other, what more can a guy ask for 🙏🙏 Tagged: yn.playsgames

yn.playsgames you could ask for one trillion dolllars inumaki.speaks yn.playsgames maybe time with you is worth one trillion dollars 😎😎 yn.playsgames inumaki.speaks I wasnt familiar with your game Mr. Inumaki... inumaki.speaks yn.playsgames heh... only select few people see this side of me kitten 🧘‍♂️🧘‍♂️ yn.playsgames inumaki.speaks anddddd you ruined it

makizen bro was giggling in his room btw

randomfan I thought you guys were gonna stream it :( inumaki.speaks randomfan we wanted to get to know each other more :pp

yn.playsgames · 12w

28.1k likes Liked by inumaki.speaks, thetigeritadori, and nobara.kugi

yn.playsgames yeah... I MIGHTVEEE fallen for a freak that says skibidi... AND WAHT ABOUT IT. Tagged: inumaki.speaks

inumaki.speaks bro, youre the one that asked me out. You should've known what you were getting into. yn.playsgames inumaki.speaks i didnt say I regretted it!! 😘😘

makizen she asked you out? holy shit finally yutasgarden makizen i know right? hearing him sigh dramatically after they hung up was starting to pmo :{

thetigeritadori OH YEAH!! Y/N GETS BITCHES CONFIRMEDDDDD

inumaki.speaks · 10w

2.1k likes Liked by yn.playsgames, makizen, and yutasgarden

inumaki.speaks chill guys doing what chill guys do... (going on a painting picnic date)

yn.playsgames Heh... guess we're pretty chill (IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!) inumaki.speaks yn.playsgames pretty chill guys... (the best day of my life)

makizen ur welcome for driving your unlicensed ass... inumaki.speaks makizen NOT INFRONT OF MY GF BRO 🐺🐺💔💔💔💔

Thank you so much for reading <3

hope you guys enjoyed >3<

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ed89 · 2 years ago

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i am so spiteful rn

#parents woke me up early for a class that btw is also entirely online and probably easier to do online too #and i work nightshifts so i dont get home until late and i cant control that #but apparently its ok that i dont get enough sleep #and im a bitch for not wanting to get out of bed #and not only that! i found out the class had been moved to a whole other day and time!#so im glad i stayed home out of spite bc then i would have been fucking stuck in the city for 2 hours #i just. im 20 years old and cant make my own decisions. im treated like im an idiotic child #of course im pissed off. now im tired and have a headache. how the fuck would i be able to pay attention in class #but nooooooo im the bad guy im a lazy rude bitch because i was angry that i had been woken up when i said NOT TO FUCKING WAKE ME UP!!!!!!!!

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lemongogo · 2 months ago

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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think

#gravity falls #stanford pines #stanley pines #lg doodles #i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend #but ya i love them i loge them so much #i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back #and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal #while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least #acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and #ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite #magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series #its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH #ugh.love . lovee i wish #i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here #but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever #i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in #everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch #and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng #but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok #hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk #imso tired im tired #but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g #get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive #atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k #idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸

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blind-band-geek · 7 months ago

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Pov your rockstar boyfriend cheats on you again

———

I saw someone do this with dungeon meshi and I cried laughing the original is by @/wombrion!!!!

#johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk #rogue amendiares #they’re so in AW of his tism i Stg #what IS IT about this man that he’s so pathetic but just gets what ever he wants #i mean im guilty but how dose he do it #bro can barely get up and out of bed before 3 pm #and is pulling bitches

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mamawasatesttube · 4 months ago

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fucked up that there aren't more sappy fluffy tender emotional t4t smut fics in the timkon tag. must i do everything myself

#rimi talks #that red sun wip has been in my wip folder since february 😭#sometimes a bitch has a cold and wants to lie in bed and read something about sappy fluffy feelings. and yet.#im like. ace?spec? idk exactly like definitely some form of ace but i enjoy sex in fiction for The Feelings. the vulnerability. etc #unfortunately there's like 3 fics in the timkon tag not by me that are both About Feelings *and* have trans hcs or funky alien biology. sad!#where is the best friends to lovers t4t fluffporn i ask you. 5000+ fics in this tag and fucking yet #SIGHS........... when i get out of bed i guess ill keep picking away at that red sun piece but until then. i need snzz.

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sluckythewizard · 5 months ago

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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'

#cw blood #SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten #its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then #fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something #also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve #but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere #ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP #THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed #kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me #from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream #and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him #she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she #is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK #I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs #LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH #THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED #TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER #oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much

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actual-changeling · 1 year ago

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the ending of episode five fucked me up because they're all healing, stede and ed are healing, realistically, in love, as both individuals and as partners. izzy is happy! fucking happy! he has friends, family, people who love him and care about him. people that stuck with ed and izzy through dark fucking times but are still willing to stick with them because that's what you do as a crew.

i don't think anyone's waiting for me

no one's waiting for me. no one. every single person i have ever cared about has left me. every. single. one. 100% probability that i will be abandoned. because when it comes down to it, i'm too much. doesn't matter what specifically did it this time, it all falls under "you're too much to deal with so i'm ditching you". i'm saying this as neutrally as possible btw. i'm forced to live for myself because there is no one else and that is both a little bit of a good thing and a giant pile of 'fucking shoot me already'.

this entire season i just stabbing me right into my most sensitive trauma memories over and over again, and i'm bleeding out on the roadside and about to be run over by a car.

#alex gets personal #ofmd2 #just. venting so my heads empty before bed #'youre not too much' they say before leaving me because i've become too much #like bro i dont even know what im doing or whats wrong with me outside of the obvious #im just a horrible person no one wants to be around apparently and i mean that 100% seriously #i carry so much pain with me and whenever it spills out during a panic attack or while crying or both #it's like trying to empty an ocean through a straw #sure you'll get a few drops #maybe even half a cup #but you still have a fucking ocean left and you know that no matter how hard you try #time is against you and you will die before you empty that bitch #ed saying i dont think anyones waiting for me is stuck in my head and i cannot get it out #i was just looping it in my mind while sobbing so hard i almost passed out </3 casual thursday night experiences

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mifunebooty · 3 months ago

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I will survive my 6 month streak curse of being in love and having the mega hots for Robert Mitchum

#cherry says #nodding my head silently trying to be in resigned contentedness and acceptance #6 months bitch even if u count from the dream on thats to November bitch #i predict at most by the time fall semester ends #fuck *sits down* im fine ill reach in my fridge and get a beer out even though I don't like beer #me after crying and grieving for the 356th time: okay let's go *crawls in the bed with him*#hes cursed me and yet at the same time this has opened my eyes compared to the sweet normal years #where i was a fan of his anyway and was just like yeah hes a crazy good performer hes kinda hot ugly and moved on #and suddenly with the curse and everything else its all opened to me his fullest effect on me #its all so terrible but i cant help myself even if i lock the doors and throw away the keys ugh okay baby just come in stay for the fall to #stay over for the rest of your time you want

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toytulini · 7 months ago

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wheres that post about how its hard to have like a fucking depression spiral or whatever while knitting bc lemme tell u im sitting here fighting back tears while actively crocheting and its not fucking working

#toy txt post #depression spiral self worth spiral the world sucks and everything is bad and stupid spiral #whatever you want to call it. im fucking miserable and my eyes keep watering and making it kinda hard to see the fucking stitches #guess thatd be less of an issue if i was doing a standard moss stitch instead if a modified variant w half doubles and working into the #stitch under the space instead of in the chain space which is a little more annoying and fiddly to find than the chain space #whatever. its all the same stupid fucking shit anyway. whatever whatever whatever whatever #nothing matters everything is stupid and sucks and whats the fucking point! god #and then dad will just get home and sternly scold me for not looking for a job anyway #as if i could currently fucking handle being asked what my fucking strengths are or whatever #and i bet fucking period is not fucking helping cos hormone fluctuations do weird shit to emotions i fucking guess. whatever #i feel like my head is going to explode #'just let yourself cry let it out!' no. its fucking inconvenient and doesnt even release all the stupid fucking feelings it just leaves me #exhausted and wasting a bunch of fucking tissues. whatever #im a stupid lazy bitch whatever and im Not. but i am #what does it matter #i cant even deal with the fucking ants in my bedroom im just hiding from them in my brothers empty room #i washed all my bedding but havent remade the bed bc im like oh i should wait for the ants to be gone #cant do anything. cant do fucking anything at all ever #i should get out of the house and touch grass and that would be good for me but like. where #i shouldnt even leave the house bc im not insured and what if i get into a car crash? i hate everything #negative #whining

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blitz0hno · 3 months ago

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I hate hate HATE knowing I'm switching/that we switched but already not knowing who I am orr who's stepping in or where the line is between me and that other alter

like we can tell when we're switching better with our meds but this makes the dissociation SO much worse and trying to think clearly about it makes my head fuzzy

It was a good day over all but since we've been masking less everything is a blur lately and I might be freaking out a little bit

#vent #kinda idk #it's not fun like people bitch abt that all the time but despite the good interactions we have ig there's a reason ppl harp on that #it's confusing and paralyzing and aagh #also ik somebody out there thinks we're completely fake #and idk if my siblings will treat me different if i tell them #and we don’t even hardly tell the friends who know when we switch #even if we want to we can't get the words out #im grateful to have what i have but im so tired of feeling this way #i wanna go to bed but i haven't finished any drawings yet #i have 2 going on 3 cuz we told purselves we'd finish the challenge even if it's not every day #but ugh oof between than and guitar practice and work and wanting to work out and-#just everything everyone wants to do #there's no focus #i cant drive until i can think clearly again so here u go tumblr #it's a nice night why is my brain stuck switching so bad #plzzzzz there's nothing happening we don’t need to dissociate this much #even if it's a flashback IT'S NOT REAL #THIS IS REALLY UNNECESSARY #but we ball

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mothofmany · 1 year ago

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Everytime my chronic pain flares up im reminded of why i was severely suicidal for 3 years straight.

#living with chronic pain is a nightmare #and for a while ive been doing better #only having flare ups once in a while #but years ago i was in severe pain every day #the only thing that helped was gabapentin and a rollator and copious amounts of weed #and i dont want to live like that again #im fucking scared #i dont want to go back to being bedridden #i cant #i barely can do much but its more than i was able to #if i get to the point where i cant make it out of bed again for weeks at a time #i might have to check myself in #because i dont trust myself to be able to handle that #and im starting school soon #i cant afford to lose more of my quality of life #just because my body decided to be a bitch #and not have good joints #or nerves #or whatever the fuck is actually wrong with me #personal

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widevibratobitch · 7 months ago

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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather #watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting #and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about #gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO #wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this #to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend #i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play #which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show #and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm #and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am #and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day #and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down #'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol #and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me #to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol #i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours #and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal

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agayconcept · 8 months ago

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.

#oh for fucks sake #if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g #she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up #which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc #and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour #'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest #b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt #c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit #not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT #i gotta get out of here #this woman is so immensely hateful #ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative #ableism #verbal abuse #ask to tag

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teobug · 1 year ago

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oooh the med switching. is making me want to chew on nails. it is Not Good.

#i dont know if its just the first few days being rough and I need to wait it out but strattera is making me like so. bitch mode. so angry #so irritable and exhausted #but adderall wasn't much better and neither was ritalin #and focalin made me feel worst of all #and ive been on wellbutrin and it Sucked the joy out of Everything #so. do I even have any other options that could work #I just want a brain that isn't like this #I want to function I want to make things I want to stop being absolutely useless #im so tired and so miserable just sitting staring into space like a brick with no brain #i feel so stupid and incapable and I have so many arts and stories and things I want to share and do. but the energy and the focus just.#it isn't there. it never is. I dont know how to exist like this #I just want to cry and be normal and feel better #I want to finish things I start I want to do the art I owe people I want to improve I want to grow #it feels like no matter how hard I struggle and flail and cry and fight it. I can't move #I can't get out of this frustrating little divet i've found myself in #im out of the pits of despair but now im in limbo. and sure its better sometimes. but is it really #its so. aaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh. agh. i dont want to be this way anymore. im going to bed im tired of this stupid fucking brain #delete later #vent

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im2tired4usernames · 1 year ago

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I want their fuckin freedom they have no chores no responsibility they can go out with their friends when ever they want for however long they want they can sleep in there bed all day they eat drink drive vehicles use the phone have a home with no bills no expenses they can spend their money on stupid things that bring them joy with no worry of the gas they burned in someone else's vehicle or if there's dinner at home they have no worries about laundry no worries about dishes no worries about the messes they make because they know I'll clean it up always I want to be viewed by my family and by my friends as someone who is an actual person with limits and boundaries and who has goals and dreams they'd like to accomplish in the day besides laundry for 16 people and not a tireless cleaning machine. I want to be able to rest and have hobbies I want to be able to do things with my partner and my friends again I want to be able to fuckin daydream and make up stories again for Christ sake I want to feel like a person and not a corpse forced into playing "tradwife" I want the freedom they all have while I'm in the background doin they're dishes.

#i don't mind helping with chores but it's the fact I'm the only one qnd i can get my four youngest to help me with bribes of sweets #but there's several adults living here who don't care that they make. more mess then a four year old #and could definitely start doin their own laundry #or take the trash out if it's full instead of cramming more into it so that the bag splits and is to heavy for me to lift #and I'm actually kinda strong like I've def lost a lot of energy n strength this year tbh but this bitch can lift pretty heavy boxes at work #and i split logs pretty regularly so im not the strongest gal by no means like of lord i had to carry my mother around everywhere #because she was a stubborn asshole who refused to use any mobility aids and then wanted to go shopping or go out and i had to just carry her #like i can carry an adult women but fuck if it didn't hurt me bad doin it and i had to stop several times to catch my breath #like I'm not super Strong but I'm not weak the trashbag cant weigh more then an adult #it takesn nothing to rinse a bowl out so your food don't turn into cement #or throw away the wrappers of your bandaids instead of tossing them on the floor #or wipe your shoes before you come in and track big chunks of dried mud and grass all over the home #my parents wanted 12 kids wnd our house to look like a magazine and they beat that mentality of the house must be clean as a whistle #because what if Jesus was to stop by we must have our home look so clean that we would be unashamed if jesus stopped #so clean we encourage him to look in cupboards and under the bed clean #i dont think that's a Bible verse but there was a biblical book that was all about having a home that was so clean constantly #just so you wouldn't be ashamed when Christ cand because cleanliness is closer to godliness #i really hate my mother like so much I'm glad i can finally say it I'm glad i don't have to work to earn her love or buy it #you shouldn't have to have to earn love especially from your parents I'm glad she can't constantly condemn me #i have nightmares about my mom condemning me or being smug n proud and ruining my life in the name of her cult #like throwing away all of my belongings and only having a bed a Bible some christan fiction four floor length Jean dresses baggy tshirts #also her giving my sister she favored a bunch of my organs since I'm broken anyhow and slowly dieing because i don't have a liver anymore #or her ruining my relationship and friendships because she didn't think they were godly enough so i have no one in my life except church #she tried to have an arranged marriage for me not a dream that happened #i know she loved me i hate that i think so low of her but her love felt like hate most of the time #i know she loved me though andni love her to I'm just glad i don't have to constantly hve to perform for her #i have so much garbage in my brain

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deneveve-is-lost · 1 year ago

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I'm the worst because if I find out complete strangers who I follow on social media think something I like is annoying I start thinking I should probably just kill myself and save myself the embarrassment, it's not ideal

#like this is kind of a joke but also not really i hate myself haha #i just think im like disgusting and deserve endless shame and hatred or whatever for being a bit cringe #i hate that its even cringe like why is cringe it makes me happy why can i not just enjoy things without this being an embarrassing trait #still thinking abojt when i went to the queer youth group age 16 and was drawing the crystal gems and some dude comes up to me like #oh you like Steven Universe. 😐 okay.#like yes i like steven universe bitch im a fucking 16 year old autist with a tumblr account and no self esteem what do you want!!#this isnt fucking social media i am literally standing in front of you!!! i am a person!!!! see me as a person!!! please see me as a person!#like thats why i leaned so hardcore into fucking truscum shit and became so fucking grating and insufferable #because i was so cringe and such a fucking trender and i hated it #it made me want to kill myself over and over again i had to prove i was a real man who could take a joke #and wasnt into that cringe tumblr sjw shit i was tough and cool #i also had agoraphobia and couldnt look in the mirror without wanting to do violence to myself #and lay in bed taking codeine only getting up to piss and shit for weeks at a time #but yeah no i was tough and cool and not cringe #not cringe not cringe #i still cant bear it i still hate myself then #i hate myself so much it makes me want to beat the cringe out of me i hate it #i just want to feel okay #i just want to feel like im allowed to be here #and that people ultimately dont care that much if there are some things we dont have in common #but i cant even treat other people that way so #its the fucking shit for me

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