#and ig maybe to get other people's perspectives since this is just a story in britain

[weedle-testaburger]

so something weird just happened. I read a story about this racist heinz ad on the underground and thought something completely different was racist about it to what the actual black community has been saying

I saw it and was like 'oh yeah that's gross, a bunch of white people treating a black woman like enjoying her favourite food is weird in this old-timey style is definitely racist' but apparently the actual issue people have is that her dad isn't present and it's implying black families all have deadbeat fathers. obviously yeah that's racist too but I'm surprised that's the first thing people noticed and found questionable

[welcometoteyvat]

i am very curious (and i'm asking this not with any malicious intent) but what ages do you see the genshin characters! i personally see them (most of them) as adults, even collei. even if they were teenagers, time passes in-game (i.e. lantern rite happens every year and we already had 2 lantern rites in-game) so they'll eventually grow to be adults.

tldr: I have schrodinger's age headcanons

long answer: if they're in a ship with a ""clearly"" adult character, I'll assume they're young adults; idk I feel like there's some blurring of age and what growth stage you're in when people are around 17 to 20 (from my experience) so I think it's vague-ish enough that you could probably do what you want.

If they're not in a ship I see some of them as adults and some as still teens/underage. as a general rule of thumb a character's age is solely dependent on what I want at the moment, although I do think the way some characters are written (ie character arcs, character stories and general personality) pushes me to view them as underage (will explain more but the character I'm thinking about most w this is Xingqiu). Some of them read to me as clear adults, and then there are some in-betweens where I just have "vaguely young looking" in my hcs LOL

you bring up a good point that time is passing in game although we don't see it reflected in the character models—everyone points out that Xiao opens up a bit more every lantern rite, but fandom (and genshin devs too ig 💀) definitely forgets that all the other characters are also growing/changing. w/ 4.1 around the corner my personal wish is for hu tao, xingqiu, and chongyun's relationships to each other get developed more so that their relationships (as described through their voicelines abt each other) don't feel so flat,,,,,, it would also help with the sense of "time is passing in game for ALL characters", since we almost never get this kind of evolving relationship portrayed between 4*s/non endgame important charas.

I have too much time on my hands so I'll also just run through all the teen/short models there are for each region and list whether my personal headcanons are adult or minor (at least their ages when we "meet" them in canon):

liyue (mortal/mortal adjacent characters): yanfei, chongyun, xingqiu, hu tao, xiangling, xinyan, yun jin, keqing

yanfei and keqing are solidly adults to me, yanfei's a lawyer and keqing's also in a govt job so both of them feel around like 25-27 to me. Definitely somewhere around their mid-20s, although I can also see them as younger, especially Keqing, because of her overall attitude/perspective on life and the gods. iirc her character stories show how her worldview's grown/broadened to be not as naive/black and white, so I feel like she's still in the process of maturing. If you told me Yanfei was like 23 (appearance wise) I guess I'd believe you too, since she's a very peppy person who seems to be running all over the place all the time, doing errands for madame ping, checking on her clients, taking new cases etc. I feel like it gives her youthful energy, so I can see it if people hc her on the younger side of her 20s (in human years I forgot how her half-adeptal blood works).

I see the other 6 as a friend group (liyue 6ang let's go) so they're either all teens or all adults depending on the portrayal. You can obviously view them as adults all the time, but I don't get those vibes. Xinyan and Yun Jin might be like 18-19, but if that's the case, I can't see the other 4 being any younger than 17, just because I think they're all almost the same age or 1-2 years apart maximum. For some reason so many people view Hu Tao and Yun Jin as adults but at the same time think the others are minors? Idk about that.. genshin has shown that Xiangling, Xinyan, and Yun Jin are pretty close friends, and then always put Xingqiu and Chongyun together for the ship bait, so maybe that's the root of fanon's age hcs. However, I think if some of them are young adults, then all of them are. There's a max 2 year age gap between all 6 of them idk idk I really can't see it otherwise.

To me, Xingqiu's arc reads like a 16 year old finding his footing in the world. Hiding martial arts novels under his bed, tired of playing dutiful 2nd son and sneaking out to live out his idealized wuxia dreams, his multiple voicelines where he's implied to be super worried about us giving away his involvings in the Guhua sect, they all read like he's still trying to figure out his role in his family (what he wants it to be, and what his parents want it to be). He's also very naive about the world, but learning. He just feels a lot like how (chinese) teenagers grow up and like. growing into or out of the paths given to us by our parents. ... or i could just be projecting! Anyways, in my no ships world, he's a 16-17 yr old. Chongyun's clan and family play a not-insignificant role in his backstory, so I think he's the same age as Xingqiu, just older by a month for the flex. Lowkey I don't have as much reason for him as the others, but I think they're in the same age range by association; probably almost 18 at most. Hu Tao's character stories explicitly state she's 13 when her grandfather passed away, and I think she becomes Director not long after this, so I would say she's also around 16-17 when the game starts. @.acatoner who draws quite possibly my favorite interpretations of the gang(TM) once mentioned they see her with spoiled younger sister energy and honestly yeah. she's an only child but has the strongest solidarity with Xingqiu (they're the bratty younger siblings of the friendgroup). Out of all of them, Xiangling is the one with the most plausible job if she was like, young: being a chef apprentice with her dad to continue the family business is pretty reasonable. Middle child energy, probably 17. We did meet her when she was in Mondstadt foraging ingredients, so I'd say she's not very young, but still young enough for her dad to chew her out during moonchase for being like messy or clumsy or smth? Xinyan and Yun Jin.... I think Yun Jin is at least almost 18—running a well acclaimed opera troupe is a pretty big undertaking imo, even if her parents are there to like guide her and whatnot. Same with Xinyan, 17-18 range, although she def started playing rock publicly when she was way younger.

inazuma: shinobu, heizou, kazuha, kirara, gorou, kokomi, ayaka, yoimiya

Disclaimer I have not read the Lore and don't know whether actual ages are given for Ayaka and Ayato (specifically pointing them out because iirc their and Thoma's character stories are the most specific ones wrt the timeline).

I see basically all of them as adults, ayaka might be an exception but she's like 17 minimum in my head. That's pretty interesting considering I labeled almost all the liyue short models as teens. From what I can remember of their character stories, the Inazuman characters seem to be portrayed as having their formative struggles set In the Past (probably a couple years before we meet them) so perhaps that's why I see them as solidly young adults. Additionally, Inazuma's arc and its war pushes me to see all of them as adults, even if they're still obscenely young to be generals and strategicians. The exceptions I can see to this are only Yoimiya (smaller role in archon quest and not related to the government), and Shinobu + Heizou, who were released later. Yoimiya's maturity really stands out to me—from the way her neighbors and old people converse with her, and her overall character arc + second story quest, I cannot see her as below like 19 at least. Shinobu manages an entire unofficial gang and has countless certifications under her belt plus ex-shrine maiden stint—she probably isn't less than 23. It would be cute if she were the same age as Yanfei but just started law school later, so Yanfei's still her senior. I think there's not much to say on Heizou either, he's friends with Kazuha and has a real job, so I can't read him below 20-21. I don't know anything about Kirara (don't have her, haven't read her stories) but I also just get the vibes of like 20-something errand girl SDFDSSKDFJS in a modern au she'd deliver to teyvat/inazuma's college campus for sure

mondstadt (humans): barbara, razor, bennett, fischl, mika, amber, noelle, sucrose

this is a mix again, for Barbara Razor Bennett and Fischl they give me kid vibes, like little adventure gang things. Reddit apparently cites Mona called Fischl an adult in the 2.8 Midsummer Fantasia GAA event, so I mean. I guess she's 18 there—might've been 16 when we met in game the first time (1.2?? scaramouche fake stars event or something?) Idk really. Their group collectively gives me 16 year old vibes, at least when we start the game. I can see it if all of them have aged to 18 now—it just makes sense in my head lol. Mika feels like an 18 year old; mostly because of his relationship with Huffman. Amber seems vaguely adult-ish, I'd say 19 or so, maybe 20 during shadows amidst snowstorms in 2.3. there's some logic behind this that ties into her search for her grandfather but it's like vague and hazy in my head. I haven't given much thought to Noelle and Sucrose— Sucrose also gives "vaguely adult" vibes, idk if her character story about wanting to make a wonderland to meet her past friends in has any relevance to timeline estimation. I'd say Noelle also falls into the vague adult age range, but to me she's a puzzle, because her personality seems incongruent to how I thought she might act if she's like 23 or so.

anyways, anon if you read all this i will declare my love for you. thanks for giving me an excuse to genuinely think on this and then dump my thoughts out for the internet. you can clearly see none of my braincells really go towards Mondstadt headcanons but I hope you're happy w my response ehe

[revehae]

wait i just remembered something else i wanted to say. i loved how for most part we only saw the readers perspective of what was happening and that made soooo easy to fall into his trap cause i didn’t have any of his insane thoughts going trough my head as a reader for me to be mad at her or whatever so i was just being trapped together with girly 😸

BUT i was thinking also (as a retired writer or whatever) how would be if u did the whole fic in His perspective. like would we, revehae audience, be inclined to dislike him since always cause we would know he was insane or maybe that would make us trust him even MORE till the end depending on the circumstances cause that not a trust worthy history teller and we know but still.. something like lolita by vladimir nabokov where people are tempted to believe that lolita was in fact provoking him cause that’s what he really thinks, so he tells the story like that. then jaehyun’s pov would having us thinking that reader was crying tears of pleasure in that specific part, for example.. idk thinking here, he is obviously delusional so it fits ig.. (the fucking TANGENT i cant ever shut up

Guys please never shut up i feel so special when you tell me your thoughts on Everything like wowwww youre really thinking about it in detail I Love You

responding to your asks out of order Sorry but i really wanted to respond to this one first because what you said about perspectives INSTANTLY sent me into rambling mode. funny enough, i was actually thinking about how there was another direction i wanted to go with the story (not telling because i wanna be Mysterious in case i decide to use it with another fic), but it wouldn’t have worked out because the majority of the story is in the mc’s pov 😭 and i think that you can tell that towards the end there i rly wanted to shift povs because you get a few paragraphs of what Jaehyun has going on in his head like the tears of pleasure thing, but i honestly like it as it is tbh because it just emphasizes how delusional he is, which is what i was trying to convey either way

but yeah i think it would’ve played out like how you said with lolita 😭 i honestly need to experiment with writing outside of the reader’s pov some more but while i usually do tend to slip in a bit of the other party’s thoughts, it was just Very Crucial that jaehyun’s were limited here so you can see the full scope of the reader’s thoughts and understand how he was able to take advantage of her

[lindszeppelin]

I need to know the obsession that shippers have? Im one of the new fans too, have I missed something? What is the obsession with them getting married? Has Austin indicated that he wants that with her? I saw someone on Twitter brag about how he must love Kaia more than Vanessa since he didnt put a ring on her 10 years but wanted to put one on Kaia's and how it means Kaia is more woman than Vanessa. I have heard she (Vanessa) has bashed AB, and her covid comments made me cringe but business wise I think she is doing good for herself? I try to be the person who understands the perspective of the other person I may be in disagreement with but I really don't get it and since I am new I am wondering did i miss something.

See this is the problem right here. The people you're getting this information from are not giving you the right information, and they're not giving you the full picture. they are only giving you their specific narrative. so let me help to break it down.

austin has never said he wants to marry anybody. he has never said he wants to marry kaia and he never said he wanted to marry vanessa from my understanding. in fact, kaia has said in an article early this year that she thinks she's too young for marriage. she said her parents are the ones trying to push him into giving a commitment. her parents said in a separate article that kaia needs more of a serious commitment if she wants to keep being with him because he has a bad track record and he will break her heart if he doesn't. those quotes came from two articles this year in january.

you're not missing anything, shippers are just feeding you a false narrative based on their delusions of forcing marriage upon them. and i hate that new fans are being roped into this bullshit because it's not real what's being said.

one last thing to fill you in that's pertinent that sparked everyting... last april Deuxmoi posted a thing to their IG that came from an anonymous person. the anon said it was rumored he proposed to her but they are keeping it lowkey. now, i watched this happen in real time...and after about maybe 20 minutes of that fake blind item being posted, austin's PR team swooped in and told DM off record that it was NOT true. TMZ picked up the story based off of that blind item, but they redacted their article, saying that per "sources close to the couple", the story was false. ever since then the shippers have been foaming at the mouth. any time they breathe they scream "engagement" for no reason. so, im terribly sorry you've stumbled into this mess. but you deserve the real truth about it.

[s3xtones]

hiii ily,

this might be quite long so sorry about that :/

theres a pretty lady i’ve known a very long time who i am very much in love with. i feel as though we’re bound by that in a way, she knows i love her without me having to tell her and i know she loves me. ig the bond that we have isn’t enough tho since we’ve tried several times before and it never ends up working out for us. she mostly blames it on herself and her ‘self sabotaging tendencies’ but there’s been times where i’ve been so horrible and so obviously at fault and it’s almost as if we start off beautifully but we both become almost chaotic and end up splitting again.

we’ve spent a lot of time apart and as of right now i feel as tho we’ve both matured a lot and my love for her is just as strong if not stronger than before. we talk less but it’s almost as if we don’t need to, whenever we do however we always clarify and honour the love we still have for each other even tho we’re separate. i really do believe in a relationship with her and i’m not close to giving up on that but my problem is that i’m worried that she struggles focusing on someone long term in general.

we mostly stay out of each others way now, checking up every once in a while. she has a boyfriend now too which doesn’t bother me in itself but he’s sort of the object of the issue. i don’t mean to sound cocky but i know that i could take her back whenever i wanted, boyfriend or not. that’s where the problem arises tho because they’ve only been together around 2 weeks and in that time alone she’s flirted with me and mentioned (not directly to me) that she’d ‘literally die for me’ and hates that she sabotaged our relationship calling herself insane for doing it :( .

as i’ve mentioned i do see a future with her. i love her and i want her and i guess i’m selfish in the sense that if we were guaranteed to last, i wouldn’t have any problems taking her away from her boyfriend at all. the only reason i’m reluctant is because i feel like if she can’t focus on her current man for 2 weeks without running back to me at 4 in the morning, then she’s not ready for something long term and i’d hate for us to go through the effort of getting back together just for it to end in a couple weeks. i really feel torn because i want her to myself but i see no longevity in us. i think if tried to focus on the person she’s wit now it’d prove to me that it’s possible for us to have something long term. we’ve had a connection ever since we met and i feel so drawn to her. she’s a real angel to me and i wish her sm peace and happiness regardless of our circumstances. i really need a new perspective. tysm for reading this and giving advice if u do <3

oh and btw she shares ur first name <3

lots of love <333

A DOOMED LOVE STORY.

Idk taking her from her man is just an ego / pride move n a terrible way to get back into the relationship. Based on what you’ve told me , i think y’all are both confused on what you actually want from each other and what to do with the feelings you have for one another. the space is good for now and actually maybe there should be even MORE SPACE. Her Reachin out at 4am is not a good thing cause she’s creepin and even though to you that’s a sign you can “take her” it’s also evidence of the overlying problem, COMMITMENT!

If y’all both cannot commitment 100% it’s never gon be right.

Commitment takes trust, faith, love , discipline, loyalty and a lot of self reflection.

It feels weird to let go of someone so familiar they felt like home. You get to reminiscing bout old good times n wishing you could do it all over again but the reality is it cannot work with the way things are. People never change, they do grow and mature but people do not change their ways and who they are at their core.

idk im still trynna figure out my own situation and this made me cry. Reiterating what i said, there’s a difference yearning for the love once shared and missing someone you’re too afraid to let go of but you don’t really want cause then you’re actually alone.

Let her go fr n if y’all are meant it will be.

ily2 n i wish you the best, focus on u fr build ur dream life in the meantime

ARIEL WHEREEVRR U ARE U BETTER GET RIGHT N REALIZE WHAT U WANT AND WHAT YOU DESERVE. YOU ARE WORTH THE BEST!

[narryffdreaming]

Hey Dani! I saw your post about how invasive fans can be and I can't stop thinking about it since I read it. It's something I think about every time I post something in here because many times I use content that it's not from shows or harry's IG (you know photos we get from fans that met him or pap pics or things other people say about him etc.) Every single time I post, there is a thought that pops up immediately in my mind: "Is this disrespectful?" and when I decide to post it after all it's because I'm telling myself that I don't post about him because I see him as a content but because I want to express the admiration I have for him and also because it's a way to distract myself from things that makes me anxious (I mean it makes happy talking about him). Although I know that I'm trying always to be respectful (and I think I have achieved it, at least at most parts), the thing you said it's always a thought that comes to my mind when I do something that involves him. And that's why I feel so at ease when he is not working and we don't get any photo or whatever. Because sometimes we crave to see him and get glimpse of his life but that's selfish. He doesn't own us anything.

hellooooo <3 i completely get being here and posting things because we want to distract ourselves from reality (things that make us anxious, sad, etc), and i dont want to come across as someone who's above any of that. after all, here i am, writing fanfic and posting about how much i love harrys arms lol (btw, i also have internal dilemmas when it comes to my stories, i just wont get into that rn bc I'll end up losing track of my thoughts and never stop talking hehe).

SO YEAH, that all being said, im gonna answer your ask in the only way i can right now, which is reading """between the lines""" of what you wrote—but pls keep in mind that my brain is exhausted so take this in a gentle way <3 first, from my perspective, i think that if you have to CONVINCE yourself that what you're doing (whatever that is) isn't disrespectful to others because it brings YOU joy, then that's already enough to show that deep down you already know something is off and maybe, just maybeeeeee (bc im speaking in general not just about this situation), that it isnt the case. and second, are you really showing admiration for him if you're posting pictures he didn't consent? if you're posting pictures that are invading his privacy or that were taken when he wasn't aware of someone even watching him? arent there better ways to show admiration than to share/spread pictures of him trying to live his "normal" life? i get wanting to distract yourself from reality, i do!! i just think there are a million things there could be posted instead of these pictures/videos that are taken in a context where he isn't being treated like a human being. let's go back to old shows. let's go back to his instagram posts. lets go back to his interviews. his music videos. his movies. his outfits.... idk!! is it repetitive? well... yeah. but it is what it is. it is what we have until he's willing and ready to share more 🤷‍♀️

at the end of the day, engaging or not with that kind of content is a choice. and yes, whether we like to admit it or not, pictures and videos of him are content. content to feed your blog. content so people interact with your posts. so people engage, follow, etc, etc.. and it is my choice not to post or reblog that kind of content, and sometimes i have to ignore the urge to make an exception bc he looks so cute or so hot or whatever in one specific picture. i have to actively choose not to engage, and i do it bc i believe he deserves better than that. and bc i believe that my own entertainment or distraction arent above his personal space or boundaries or whatever. do i wish he would post 24/7 and let me in in his life? YES. do i wish i could know everything he does and stare at his beautiful face everyday? YES. is that healthy? probably not!! lmao. should i fulfill my wishes no matter what? HELL NO.

so yeah, i dont own the truth and i dont want to make anyone feel bad or anything, but i feel like we're the ones encouraging this behavior around him—we aka his own fans. so i do think it's also up to us to point out when it's too much or when we are crossing lines. not with hate or canceling people or embarrassing anyone... just bringing up the conversation and encouraging people to think about it, so maybe they'll eventually see things in a different way.

OKAY I'LL STOP NOW but thank you for sending this 💕 i tried my best to choose the correct words but im so tired that maybe i didnt and just know that i meant all this in the nicest possible way! <333

[shellshocklove]

Hiii, so I really don't know how long it's been since you wrote/finished the I wanna be your lover 70spornstar series, nor do I know if you answered this question in a comment or anything, but I saw where at the end you asked for what people thought about the end. I also saw where you said that you might be convinced to do like small writings to continue the universe.

I think your writing is amazing, and your storyline are very captivating. Honestly I admit to coming back to that series and stuff for a reread. But the ending, admittedly, strikes a cord in me. I understand Joel is supposed to be a porn star and there is a very clear line of it being work, and maybe this is just me, but i wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who I knew was going to fuck someone else everytime they left for work. And the thoughts of 'the reader' throughout, especially in the last chapter, definitely point to her feelings being in that same boat.

Ig that's why the ending just feels incomplete or something ? Like he says to talk to her about it cause his job has caused relationship issues before, but then sex follows and that feels like a place where talking should have actually happened. Ik it's smut, but it made it seems rushed and like their relationship was left open-ended. And again, maybe it's just me, but Joel's whole confession and stuff wouldn't make me anymore secure or confident in a relationship considering his profession, so love or not, there would definitely have to be a change. That's part of why their ending just feels so incomplete.

So I was hoping to ask and see if you'd ever be willing to write some small stuff about them, maybe a short on them having a non-sex resolved conversation where she tells him how she actually feels about his job being having sex with other people (and him hopefully leaving said job), or something.

Ofc this is your story, and whatever you decide to do with it is completely up to you. I hope you don't find any offense in anything I've said, I genuinely admire your writing skills and you ideas, and you seem like a lovely person as well. This ask is being sent with the upmost respect and appreciation to your skills. I don't want to come off as controlling or your stories or anything at all, so I hope I did not <3

hi, thank you so much for your ask . it's been a few months since it was finished and the ending has been a little divisive. i really appreciate your ask so don't worry about that, it's been long enough now that i won't take any offense. i'd probably be a little hurt had this been right after the last part was out, i'm not gonna lie, but that's just how it is with putting yourself and your writing out there. it's raw and scary and you can never know if people will understand what you're trying to say- and some won't. i've answered some of this before in asks (in here somewhere), but i'm gonna try and answer it more in this ask (it's long i'm so sorry).

you're not the first one who wants joel to quit, and from the start that was never my intention. in no scenario in my head would that happen when they got together. and i completely understand that people would have different feelings about this. i think it makes the story interesting bc we're all coming at this from different perspectives. this was also never meant to be a series. i wrote the first part as a one shot in august. i went back and forth on doing a part two, and all of this was just gonna be a part two to further the plot of them getting together, as this whole thing plays out over just one week.

i wanted to explore her more, and the thoughts your brain will conjure up when you are anxious in new situation (or i guess her insecurity since this was all new to her, and her trauma from the past enhancing it all) this is why i think people got so invested? bc i tricked you guys a little bit from writing it from her perspective bc her thoughts are obviously valid, but they also have a mind of their own. i think people who have anxiety can relate to that. that your thoughts start to feed you worst case scenarios, and those thoughts aren't necessarily true. she's not a reliable narrator on this whole thing.

the ending might feel incomplete bc this isn't their love story? it's just the story of how they got together. it's not tied up in a pretty pink bow bc it will continue from here (in their little alternative universe in all our brains). their 'love story' starts after just crazy love, if that makes sense? to me it's not realistic to have one conversation and then everything is fine. they'll have to feel out the relationship and live in it a little, talk to each other and figure out how it works best for them. and that isn't in the series bc it wasn't supposed to be a series originally lol. and also to have some empathy for the reader in all of this at the end. she'd had a few awful days with high anxiety and some depression. her uncle coming only furthered her anxiety and dread about everything. making her have a full thorough conversation with joel at the end of all this felt just cruel to me. she already told him everything about her family, and needed comfort (even if she didn't know it herself), and joel showed her comfort and love the way he knows best (eating pus– *gunshot*).

i won't write an "alternative ending" bc that would be against my original thoughts/ideas. i appreciate that you want more from the story and i guess to be frank or talk about the last part from a doylist perspective: there had to be smut in it bc unfortunately that is what people want to read at the end of the day. i'm sure if there was no smut (in a pornstar au no less), to some it would feel incomplete. so i had to balance the story, trying to tie it up (but not too much so you had something to think about the story, and leave you wanting more 😉), and fit in a smut scene that had the right amount of hot and sweet. i'm sorry if me saying that makes the story lose it's magic or something, but that's just the reality of fanfic writing.

as for continuing the universe i've been open to it if people wanted it, but there hasn't been any feedback from people wanting it so i've just left it. originally my thoughts were a loose blurbiverse of some kind with love-story-furthering stories (less than 10k for once 💀) intertwined with smaller one-shot-esque stories that had nothing to do with the plot but were more of a slices of life type of thing. i have small ideas and an end goal for them in my mind (one that would probably satisfy you guys who wants him to quit), but as there has been no demand for it i've decided to just let them be.

i hope thinking of this story as the beginning and not the end of them will help it not feel as incomplete to you? they will deal with it together at some point even if i write it or not. joel is more whipped for her than you think and he'd really do anything for her, but quitting a job he's successful at and makes a lot of money from, bc of a relationship that hasn't started yet i think is cruel to joel as a character. yes, to him this is love (the real deal), and previous relationships haven't worked out bc of his job. but this relationship haven't started with on the same premise as this one. reader knows the industry, she knows it's not real deep down. they started out this rocky bc nothing was defined, and i think joel underestimated her inexperience and their working relationship. to him they had started dating after pismo beach, and he thinks that's implied. that's why he's coming over- he wants to spend time with his girlfriend. but bc of her professionalism, to him, when they're at work they're professional and it's a secret, but when they're alone she's his girlfriend. joel isn't familiar with her anxiety or her past yet, bc to him it's come across as professionalism. you can't blame a guy for not knowing- he's not a mind reader.

i'm sorry this is so long, but i hope this has shed some light on a few things. don't hesitate to reach out again if something is unclear. i understand that not everything i've talked about here came across well enough in the story, and i can only say that it's my shortcomings as the writer, and i'm sorry about that. but then again i don't consider myself a writer or really any good at in the first place lmao so maybe it's ok to not be great at everything. this is just for fun!

[synthshenanigans]

Oh boy well there's a lot i could talk about since Jash makes quite a bit of things so here's a bunch of short summaries of stuff below! :

[This is a fair amount of text lol. But I mean if anyone else needs this to explain Jash to outside people. Try and use this to help somehow ig pfft]

First off tho, Chonny also doesn't mind multiple interpretations of his music so like, most things you can just make up on your own really!

[Also! As a warning, a fair amount if his songs have to do with depression & suicide so be careful if need be!]

the before. :

An album of Chonny's original music that he made in around like 2-3 years ago. Most are just songs about mental health or other ideas & thoughts he had. Not really a story in mind when making it but still banger tracks

Covered in Discontent:

CJ's first set of covers! Unlike what he usually does now, these aren't really edited or changed at all. Tho again these are still p good so I do recommend listening to these to if you'd like! No story, no big song changes, just some normal covers of songs he likes. Also one song got taken down on youtube but is still watchable in the CiD album video at the very end! [Its a goofy Fly Me To The Moon cover]

Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium Vol.1 :

I can try my best to sum up the album but a lot of it is stuff that's interpretation & stuff that's not been seen yet! Also this is one of his biggest/well known works so it would take a fair amount of texts to properly explain this. So uhh im gonna try and do my best to explain the plot & characters very simplisticly & as short as possible lol. [Also trying not to put my own interpretations in there but apologies of I do]

The album is split up into 3 parts. Calamity, Cacophony & Concord. We only have one half of the story atm so only the end of Calamity & the beginning of Concord exist atm. [And all of Cacophony]

For the most part, the album discusses/is a metaphor for depression or like a depressive spiral. The character Whole is the main guy that's Goin Through It™ [the spiral is also referred to the loop as well]

The beginning set of songs [Calamity] has Whole going into his mental spiral & when this happens he splits into 3 parts. [That being his Heart, Mind & Soul] Each of them represent a part of himself. Heart being the emotional side & Mind being the logical side, with Soul kinda being the vessel/husk/shell that's left over from Whole. [Tho Soul is usually connected to the Self & sense of Identity]

The majority of the album has to do with Cacophony. Where Heart & Mind mostly argue over who's ideas & perspectives are better and who should have control over Soul [and in turn Whole]. Their fighting is causing the spiral to worsen as well as their mental state. This is also causing less of a chance for them to become Whole again. [for example; A popular event taken from the song Ruler of Everything has Heart shooting at Mind with a gun] After a certain point, Soul finally intervenes, trying to show them that neither of them are wrong or right & neither is better than the other. And that the only way to become Whole is to listen to the others side of things. They don't really listen to him & just kinda keep getting worse a bit. Soul [who's also kinda going through an bit of a crisis] also has a mental breakdown & gives them one chance to listen to each other otherwise he's just gonna kill all 3 of them. [Soul is known to own a trident. And using this trident, if Heart & Mind don't get along, Soul would try to kill all three of them with it. Killing all three of them at once is referred to as Tridential Regicide. Tridential/Tri mean the three of them & regicide meaning the killing of them all [also a pun with a trident being used to do it]]

Even with this last chance, they still don't listen and its not until Soul is like .5 seconds away from murder do they panic & talk. Soul finally sees that maybe they really can be Whole again & stops his attempt at Tridential Regicide. [At this point we're at the song Light & We're Gonna Win] Heart & Mind finally start talking & listening to the other while also admitting their own faults & flaws. And with this do they fully realize that they weren't actually so different in the end.

Soul mainly sings in the song Two Wuv. These lyrics are more direct so I don't think I have to explain much [also im a bit tired atm]. But Soul finally accepts himself for who he is and that Heart & Mind are apart of him now. And with the song Variations on a Cloud, they now all view each other as equals & can consider their different perspectives as all being important. [their perspectives/variations on a "cloud"]

The last song & all of Concord is all about Whole. [Heart, Mind & Soul have finally become Whole at this point]. At this point, the separation from Chonny & Whole are bit harder to do, since parts in Special, Greener & all of The Whole World and You & Taken For a Ride are more from CJs viewpoint about the album & the songs he's making. And im not gonna like, speculate on a real person lol. So those song are just kinda, get your own ideas & thought a from em!

The rest id just make your own ideas about it or listen to others. Again im not great at explaining & I tried making it gauge as possible lol. However, Chonny does answer some questions about the album + some other stuff in a QnA! Which the link for that is here.

----

OKAY now that that's done, I can list his other stuff

Gothic Whore/The Novel Lyric Hunt:

A bunch of popular stories [usually horror ones] being told/sung in front of an audience like a play/musical. Has songs about more classic ones like Jekyll & Hyde, Dracula & Frankenstein but also stuff like Treasure Island & 1984! More of a linear "story"/sequence but still very good even if you've never read any of the books the songs are about. [Also includes a cover of the song Monster Mash as well as more original songs that CJ wrote more about himself. bargaining/compromise being made during 2020 & Dear Machine, Hate the Cog being made during the time he released the end of Gothic Whore]

The Power Hours:

These ones are still being made! These [so far] are a set 5 covers of other music artists CJ likes. The first one being The Tim Minchin Power Hour & the second being The That Handsome Devil Power Hour.

Again, interpretation is all fun so can make up whatever ideas about these mini albums you'd like. However, the Genius Lyric pages help explain lyrics & ideas much better than I could [tho even I've submitted some things to the pages myself! Mainly just stuff to the song Nerd] Here's the Tim Minchin Lyrics & here's the That Handsome Devil Lyrics

From what Jash has said, there's going to be 4 Power Hours in total, having 3-5 songs in each set [all also each containing a fun music video!]. He hasn't said what he's covering for the next two, however Will Wood is a very popular guess since CJ is a fan of him as well.

In between these Power Hours is one single. Also gonna use this bit to talk about the rest of his singles.

Singles & other songs:

The singles that separate the Power Hours so far are Fine, I'm Fine & 20XX. Both are very very well loved and insanely good songs. Both Genius Lyrics give good details on em so check that out :} [i also submitted points to 20XX there too!] I recommend listening to the songs tho. They're very fun & such a lovely happier change of pace since his other purely original tracks like the before. [My tumblr set up is 90% based off Fine, I'm Fine & I have over 1,000 listens to it on Spotify. I REALLY like this song lol]

He also has a few stand alone covers as well! That being Charlotte by The Kite Machine & Ain't no Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant! He also has a drum video of him playing a couple of songs as well! [Only one of them is an original song from the before. The others are more covers as well!]

Then there's his smaller known stuff all being like 2-3 years old. A mini list being; 1. Two original LoZ: Majora's Mask songs called HEAL & Death Will Fall + a cover of Clocktown 2. An album called Mario is Dead. containing siivagunner like mashups & rips of Mario 64 tracks & 3. A handful of joke song covers + like 5 covers of Megalovania.

Alright that's about all I can think of atm. I am quite tired lol & if anyone wants to add anything go on ahead! I need sleep lol.

HELLO

I'M NEW TO CHONNY JASH

PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND INFECT ME WITH THE CHONNY JASH OBSESSION

PLEASE INFECT ME WITH THE SILLY

WAH WELL HEYA PAL WELCOME TO HELL THEN! WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW???

[mokutone]

@pax-thuban left these tags on a post:

#well. first of all. this is so. bittersweet #like screaming and crying and throwing up on the floor etc #second of all. maybe i'm looking too much into this but. #it's interesting to see that there's blood splatters on tenzo's face /and/ his mask #if i recall correctly. the mask covers his happuri as well #the implication that tenzo lost his mask during battle. put it back on presumably /still/ in battle. continued killing #idk. just hurts #like something something anbu work forces him to feel more comfortable wearing a mask and conforming to a nameless org and set of ideals#and forgoing individuality #or like. something something maybe he feels worse that his face got 'stained' because it's basically a reminder that 'cat' and 'tenzo' #are one and the same and not two distinct entities no matter how much he wants to separate his identity and his anbu lifestyle #and the fact that the happuri is blank and doesn't have a konoha leaf on it.... he doesn't feel connected to the community even as he kills #for it... #i feel like it's kind of obvious that it's significant that the comic shows tenzo taking off his mask as he shows his weariness/depression #regarding anbu work and then how he thinks about kakashi as a jonin sensei. like representing himself as tenzo the individual rather than#'cat' a faceless tool of konoha in the shadows #i also feel like it's kind of noteworthy that the perspective(? is that what it's called for images?) zooms in on tenzo's face #first panel is mostly black and tenzo's body is off-center(?). like his face is centered but his body's not. and that leaves more room for #the black background. but the second panel fills it up with the kakashi thought bubble and tenzo's body comes into the center to fill up #the bottom half. and then the third panel makes tenzo himself fill up more space. there's less 'darkness' now #not sure how to say it other than. his sole saving grace in anbu at the moment is preserving his self and bond with kakashi ig #i also like how the black background isn't pure black. there's a tinge of red(? idk it could also be orange? but i'm taking it as red) #like one hand. maybe a reference to the whole blood thing. a reflection of how he feels surrounded by that reminder of murder instead #of just it being select patches on his skin #on the other hand (and this might be looking too deep 😔) maybe how allusion to the sharingan. how even though he left root #anbu still feels very similar to it that he feels reminded of how he was watched by danzo? #sorry for rambling. i am in an analysing mood today #but i'm also not that great at analysing visual art lmao

nooo no sorries! this is really useful and EXTREMELY flattering to receive such detailed thoughts, i feel like im back in a School Crit Circle or something, which is really fun and helpful. Critique like this rlly helps me understand what people are bringing to my art when I make it and how it's getting interpreted, which as somebody who wants to tell understandable stories via images, is useful to me beyond what words can describe!

like—there's no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to interpreting art, there is my intention, but my intention isn't necessarily what comes out (like how kishimoto somehow accidentally wrote two teenagers who he meant for us to perceive as straight, in the pains and throes of love for each other. like he wrote that, whether or not he intended to. i dont even actually ship s/n bc it doesn't have The One Ingredient for me, but its...also something thats hard to ignore about the text)

and similarly, since theres no way to objectively read a text, when you read it you're putting it in your own context, finishing the painting yourself with whatever colors you've got in your palette to use

that said! I can answer for my intentions in some of these

The blood and the mask: Practically, you're 100% right! Mask needs to be off to get at the happuri. That he's got blood on both his mask, and his happuri, means that at some point in the battle, he lost his mask and then put it on. In terms of art, I did this because the juxaposition contrast between the blood and the small amount of joy he's taking in thinking about a scarecrow, felt really important, and I didn't want to lose that with the removal of the mask. I also put the blood splatter in the same place, coming in from Tenzō's left, and splattering upward across his forehead area. Practically, this would mean that he was in the same position by a spatter of blood twice, but symbolically this implies that he is or feels like the same with or without the mask—like u talk about them being the same entity. I didn't really do that intentionally though—like I didn't think about it. I just kinda was like "yea that feels right. anyway moving on."

No leaf on the happuri: I AGREE WITH YOU ABT THE SYMBOLISM...he doesnt feel connected to konoha in a Real way until he's co-captaining, I think. He needs to be allowed to LIVE in Konoha to be a part of it... That said, if I'm not drawing Captain Yamato Post-Sunlight-Exposure I straight up forget that he had the leaf at all–I know it's supposed to be a Danzō thing, but I keep thinking it's an anbu thing. Honestly, since I agree with the symbolism, whether or not I forget or make an intentional choice not to depict it really doesn't matter I suppose

The Zoom In: Kind of the same as the last! i felt in my heart that we had to zoom in...I didn't think about it in terms of ''lessening darkness'' although now that I've read you write that I like THAT reading much more—esp since so much of yamato's themes in canon seem to be about sunlight and darkness...there's an interesting reading of darkness lessening (because he takes up more space) without light gaining any footing (he's still, as always, situated in the dark) about like, the little things that one can do to manage their depression or a dark situation, even when they still aren't able to be fully FREE of it quite yet (if ever). I think, when I was thinking abt it, I was thinking about making Tenzō seem very small and alone in the first panel, and then even after thinking about Kakashi, he's not quite so small in the panel, even though he still remains alone. This being said, the darkness reading is much stronger than the loneliness reading, even though they go hand in hand, I much prefer your interpretation.

the red in the black: This is interesting!!!! I like your interpretations a lot...in terms of materials this is only black india ink, so there's no red actually in it, but in the photo I can see what you mean—the ink I'm using is shiny because the "matte" ink is twice the price of it and I'm a cheapskate, and it inevitably creates shines of color when scanned or photographed. Obviously though, the lack of intention or the material contrast doesn't mean you're wrong—I saw the colorful patches in the image and decided it was fine enough to post anyway, they're a piece of the art as it exists digitally! Open for critique and interpretation. I like the idea that the darkness is connected to the blood very much especially, because it is for Tenzō, isn't it?

anyway, ty v much for your analysis, i was incredibly flattered to receive it, and i think you're actually super good at it, in my opinion!

[whetstonefires]

Not that knowledgeable about CNovels or the svss fandom in general, so take this with a grain of salt, but maybe people are used to considering it in the context of other "System Novel Genre" tropes, in which "The System is a sentient entity" and "The System is a malicious force" are both an actual thing. Like anything from an AI in a virtual reality to interdimensional entity that uses it's players to colonize planets and rob life energy(yes, I've seen both).

Oh yeah, I'm a little vague on how the System conceit normally interfaces with the transmigration genre, but this is vaguely the impression I had, thank! Mxtx obviously wasn't going to use any element that wasn't already deeply conventional if not outright cliche in this, since that would fuck with the texture, so even if I don't recognize a specific cliche there's usually the outline of its shape to bite on. Appreciate the more clarification.

The planet-eating one is way more interesting than the virtual reality imo but ig I'm super burned out on 'it was all a dream' variants lmao.

But like, the System is clearly conscious because targeted spite is definitely a function of personhood, and it might be malevolent considering how much satisfaction it seems to get from just, fucking with its principal, it's just. Those are diegetic facts in the same way 'Luo Binghe is a dangerous crazy person' is a fact, and that's not a bad or incorrect way to engage with the story, obviously.

But like. Luo Binghe as stallion protagonist, as villain protagonist, and as romance novel main love interest are intrinsically wound up in his lunacy. Approaching him on an exclusively in-universe basis is a very fun lens (and even one of the points/main jokes of the book I think lmao) but it's completely inadequate to compass his character, and its structure and point.

You know? You're not doing anything useful with this fictional character if your analysis totally ignores the way his existence is in dialogue with the concept of a genre convention.

This story is of the kind that is about the nature of telling stories--a particular subset of stories in its particular publishing context--and the constraints placed on writer and character by the demands of genre and audience, not to mention narrative structure and the tricks played by perspective and expectation. (The structural bait and switch of the entire character of Tianlang-jun kills me.) The climactic scene penny-drop involves the System having reassigned the target audience as female.

'Women want a different kind of fuck book.' That's the plot. Like. Rip. 😂

The System does exist as a force and consciousness within the book, and it's important that it knows what it's doing is cruel and likes that, but artistically speaking if it were meant to be perceived as a character I'm pretty sure it would be approached less as a force of nature.

There's a horrid person in there in some way, and our leading man's consistent failure to perceive that deserves its own essay, but functionally it's doing 'nature, malevolent, inexorable, and artificial' in man-versus-nature, and winning, which is like. Just a really fun flavor even before you do the step-out to its boundary-blurring role of acting in the name of the reader.

Am I making any sense?

[quokkacore]

with great power I [lee jeno]

summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.

pairing: lee jeno x reader

genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack

warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric

song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare

word count: 10.5k

a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee​ for beta reading <3

main masterlist // story masterlist

chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.

When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday. 

And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.

In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00. 

He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak. 

He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.

[7:48 AM]

y/n: pssst

y/n: shithead

y/n: where r u ????

[7:49 AM] 

y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know

jeno: …… i'm on the train

jeno: woke up late

y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR

y/n: LATE*

y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR

[7:50]

jeno: probably, yeah

jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY 

y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday

y/n: [sent an attachment!]

[7:51 AM]

jeno: SHUT UP

jeno: you're not funny >:(

jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune

y/n: au contraire im hilarious

jeno: meanie :(

jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here

jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,

[7:52 AM] 

y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear 

y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh

y/n: also ur literally never late 

y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill

y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine

Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid. 

The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me. 

Don’t be stupid.

Too late!

Thwip!

Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range. 

Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.

Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life. 

But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.

Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly. 

[7:57 AM] 

y/n: let me know when u get here !!!

No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.

The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took. 

After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School. 

[8:06 AM]

jeno: just did >:D

Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.” 

He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”

“The Bachelor?”

“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”

He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation. 

  A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.

“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”

Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”

“I, uh… ran a little.” 

You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”

“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”

The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement. 

The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.

You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”

You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”

“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.” 

He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon. 

“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”

Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking. 

"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored. 

San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him. 

You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you. 

“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.” “Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”

“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry. 

“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.” 

Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front. 

“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since. 

“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her. 

“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.

You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today. 

It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—

“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.

“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”

Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”

 “I don’t like her, Yeeun.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Hey! Jeno Lee!”

“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.

“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”

Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark,  Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.

“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”

“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”

You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”

“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”

“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.

“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”

“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken. 

“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”

“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”

Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”

Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.

“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”

The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.

“Fuck you, Huang.” 

Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”

The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club. 

"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.

"San Choi."

Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you. 

"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"

"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."

"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."

Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."

“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.

You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”

The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”

Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”

If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.

The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice. 

“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”

Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”

Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?” 

Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” 

Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.

As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled. 

“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately. 

“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”

You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”

“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”

You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?” 

“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?” 

You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”

Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.

“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.

“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”

“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’. 

“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”

He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”

You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag. 

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.” 

He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch. 

Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy. 

Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time. 

 Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord. 

All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends. 

"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"

Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"

"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"

"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."

You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?" 

You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"

"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"

"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”

You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.

So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”

Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”

San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”

You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”

“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”

You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”

San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.

“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”

“Coming!” San yelled back.

“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”

 The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”

Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”

You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”

“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!” 

Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.

You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.

I want you to know now

Baby, it could go down

I don’t wanna talk about it

Baby, let’s just go now

The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.

When you talk right to me 

You gon’ have to do me

Every time you think you’re leaving 

You running back to me

You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months. 

Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung. 

He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung. 

And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history. 

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Talk about where we're goin'

Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts

Can't get what we want without knowin'

Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since. 

You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything. 

I've never felt like this before

I apologize if I'm movin' too far

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Figure out where we're goin'...

As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.

The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration. 

Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to. 

It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel. 

Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.

When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face. 

He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also. 

To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college. 

To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing. 

Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.

“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!” 

Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.

"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"

"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."

Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss. 

That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either. 

Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"

Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only. 

This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters. 

Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.

"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked. 

"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."

Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"

"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."

Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.

“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”

“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”

“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”

Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.

“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—” 

 The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”

The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.

Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit. 

Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.

"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here." 

Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."

Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."

Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."

Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."

The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.

Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”

Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things. 

“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”

“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”

“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”

Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”

Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”

Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”

“M-me, Mr. Park?”

Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.

“You don’t know who this is, right?”

Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”

Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious. 

“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”

“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”

“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”

“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”

Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”

Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.

“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”

Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together. 

“Perfect.” 

They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.

After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.

Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things. 

Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.

“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed. 

Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.

“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?” 

The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!” 

Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.

“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.

"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”

“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”

“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”

Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”

Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”

Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”

Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.” 

Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”

Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”

“Jeno?” 

He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.

His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”

You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”

“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.” 

You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."

"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."

"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."

Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."

Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.

"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."

But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"

He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out. 

"So you left your keys."

Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."

You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry." 

Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me." 

Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change." 

Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"

You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult.  You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.

"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."

Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"

"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."

Jeno nodded. "This sucks."

"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"

Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest. 

"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"

You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."

"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."

"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?" 

Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."

Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."

He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"

"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year." 

Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."

Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.

"Deal." 

You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."

The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist. 

On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.

Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether. 

When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.

“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly. 

“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed. 

And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”

Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”

Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.

The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.

He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.

“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”

 “Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”

“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”

“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”

Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”

“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.” 

A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.

Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them. 

“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”

“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was. 

“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”

Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”

One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”

“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before. 

“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”

Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”

The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”

Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”

“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped. 

“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.

“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we’ll be back here to negotiate.”

Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.

“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”

“Hand it over, then.”

That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.

“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”

In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him. 

“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered. 

“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”

“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”

Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came. 

The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground. 

The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”

“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!” 

So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.

When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths. 

Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault. 

He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station. 

As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could. 

He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.

What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.

[8:36 PM]

y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)

“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.

The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.

After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.

His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”

You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up. 

“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”

He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.

“Y/N, what happened?”

taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs​ @crescentjen​

[insert-cleverurl]

solaine copies her dsmp meta twitter part one

preface: i wrote this on february 13th and am now archiving it over here on tumblr before i get around posting it to the actual archive (of our own). i'd like to clean it up before i go there, becuase i wrote this at like one am lying in bed and typing on my laptop that was sitting on my stomach. it's a lot of rambling. i go on a lot of tangents. it is not the cleanest nor likely most accurate meta you will ever read.

how characters (children) on the smp learn from history rather than repeat it: a thread

aka: stop liking the other one you fucks i opened the wikia so i actually know what happened now /lh

context here is that i had earlier made a much less coherent thread (not that this one is very coherent) with the caveat that i was going entirely off memory

this thread is mainly going over how tommy + tubbo both emulate and turned away from wilbur + schlatt respectively, and how i think that's going to reflect in ranboo's arc

"as long as i can't be the next jschlatt, you can't be the next wilbur." okay we all know this. it's obvious from this point on that both tubbo and tommy saw or had fears of how they were each developing into scarily familiar people - schlatt, a dictator, and wilbur, a madman.

starting with tommy, the parallels between his exile arc and wilbur's pogtopia arc are immediately, and glaringly, obvious. paranoia, trust issues, "maybe i'm actually the bad guy here", and most notably, intense loneliness. wilbur made it obvious he believed pogtopis's allies would all abandon them in the end (them being he and tommy, though how much he trusted tommy by the end is also up in the air), and he was completely prepared to kill anyone he had to in order to secure pogtopia's victory, despite also preparing himself to be the one to end it. wilbur gave up on l'manberg, at the very end. he believed tyranny was all that would ever reign, so he blew it up.

tommy, in his exile arc, was also despairingly lonely. he hallucinated tubbo, grew attached to dream, etc etc. tommy was very very close to "becoming" wilbur here (god i'm sorry this is so long already and just me summing things up we already know it's to keep my thoughts in order + satisfy my inability to shut up and use too many words)

where wilbur and tommy go their separate ways is when they were given an out. dream gave wilbur tnt + for tommy, he was. you know. gestures vaguely at logstedshire. wilbur took the out - he gave up. he gave in. we know he had moments of clarity (when niki was in danger) and Maybe this was one he could've had too, but he didn't. he took the tnt.

tommy decided enough was enough. so at a crucial moment in time, tommy turned away from being wilbur. he did not repeat history.

onto tubbo; admittedly i know much less about his arc as president so this will be less outlined. tubbo,,,, acted very similarly to schlatt. probably moreso than tommy and wilbur! strange new laws, ignoring his cabinet, execution, generally appearing to lose his care for the world and the opinions of others. i'd argue the thing that separates him from schlatt is the most important part of this thread, because it proves my point: he remembered.

i just want to clarify here: by "proves my point" i mean this is the clsoest we get to an agreement of the ideas i'm putting out here in canon?? ig?? as in like. this is the most on the nose way to say it. similarly in recent days to quackity consistently referring to his treatment of dream as torture, which seems to be a very "I Am Not In Character" move but is definitely meant for us, the viewers, rather than character dream or character quackity themselves. tubbo's is a little less like that but still it's kind of like pointing at the X on a map for us the viewers. ok tangent over

tubbo lived under schlatt's rule as one of those people he treated extremely shittily. he lived under schlatt's rule as that person he executed. and tubbo remembers all that! tubbo remembers how schlatt's rule played out, and he looks at his own uh, less than stellar time in office, and he admits this out loud (to ranboo, according to the wikia. i am getting all of this off the wikia. i did not watch any streams during this arc.) that he can See himself becoming schlatt.

and when quackity tries to execute ranboo for being a traitor, tubbo stops him.

onto dream and ranboo! dream is a special case in that we never get to see his perspective of things and are rather left to play fill in the blank, and this whole arc is special (in terms of this thread) in that it isn't over. so i will be doing a lot of extrapolating here.

dream starts out as a generally ambivalent character who has very few rules that he pretty much never bothers to enforce anyways (i think? i don't remember).

by this i mean, this is all stuff i heard secondhand in recent months and can no longer remember what it actually was because i never went back to check. i'm pretty sure, but just a disclaimer. i don't wanna get hit with an "um, actually

his villain arc starts very very early - two whole seasons before he really became one. in the war, he is the antagonist and he plays up to it! most of the war is from l'manberg's pov (or that's how we look at it now, at least) so obviously he is the Bad Guy here.

ranboo griefed a house like two days into the server. 'nuff said /lh

ranboo + dream are both heavily vilified characters from the get-go - dream's part should be fairly obvious (uh, the everything leading up the exile arc where he actually did villainous things), whereas ranboo's is most notably during the second festival's aftermath. taking the blame for blowing up the community house, wanting to "pick people not sides" (he wants all his friends to be happy - sounds familiar, right?), etc etc, and now he's with techno and phil, the former of which is Definitely considered a villain for working with dream

now many many parallels are being drawn between he and dream, especially with the whole enderwalking thing. in the aftermath of everything happening, he chooses to stay out of all conflict, until Something Happens and forces his hand. (the egg!) he wants peace for everyone, which again, sounds very familiar, right?

(slight tangent: yes, the griefing was forcing dream's hand. it's nigh impossible to construe it as anything other than a political attack - the vice president of l'manberg griefing the home of the greater dream smp's king? dream looks weak + open to attack if he lets it slide)

this was a bad way to put it but the spirit of it gets across i think. fuck character limit on twitter

that catches us up on all current lore. where do i think dream and ranboo are going to split? dream has been alone in his decision-making basically since the very first war. not once has he (successfully, we don't know if he tried) gone to fall back on his friends' support and ask for their help in making these hard decisions (of which there are many). he severs his final connections ("i don't care about anything on this server") and cements his place in history as a monster.

i think it is very likely that we are getting a ranboo "friendship and relying on other people" arc here. there are other ways they could go with it, obviously, but given his current arctic anarchist ties and what appears to be other friendships developing. hmm! i'm interested. this part is entirely speculation/extrapolation. point being. the kids on the smp do, in fact, learn from history. they still make mistakes sometimes, but past a certain point, they're always different mistakes. they learn, and they almost always get happier endings for it

i don't know if it's a coincidence that it's the three lore-relevant kids who are the ones doing this. i don't think it is, because this is a very well-written and clever story. the younger generation is the one learning and fixing past mistakes and leaving the world better off for it. that's very neat! i like it a lot. also now that purpled's becoming lore-relevant, goddamnit if i don't want to see next season being his "learning from history" arc. punz vs purpled, maybe? that'd be neat. who knows. ok i think im finally done lol ty for reading :)

caveat I forgot to add last night: obviously ranboo and dream start out in very different positions, moreso than both tommy and tubbo. but at the end of the day, all three of them are their own people who just happen to take after other people in some ways :)

again, ty for reading! here's the original thread. i'd like to add that this is probably out of date and i may come back to it some day but who knows. maybe this will just be a relic of before Now (may 25)

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[piningeddiediaz]

I personally think Pynch anniversary is November 2nd because 1st is ronans bday and idk they kissed and all and probably talked through the night and i think it makes sense that the anniversary would be November 2 but thats just me. They’re basically together now for 1 yr and idk 1-2 months. Since they got together 1 yr before adam left and now it’s November/December again.

I have a question btw. Why do you think so many people seem to dislike Adam and/or Declan? I mostly am following pynch / Adam blogs but i see a lot of negativity too and idgi.

I personally like gansey and blue for example even tho they’re not perfect but actually no character is, not even adam even tho i love him dearly. But so much of the stoey happens bc of adam and idk…

Also I hate kavinsky apologists or people who say ronan had a crush on him wtf 😳 like. No. Kavinsky was disgusting and yeah maybe lost too but an asshole nonetheless. Ronan was already riding his crush on adam wave and he def wasnt interested in kavinsky except for the racing and dreaming convos ?! Sorry brain dump

yeah, I suppose that makes sense. depends on when you define their anniversary ig? is it an anniversary when you first kiss? when you admit feelings? when you officially declare you are together? I sure as fuck wouldn't know!

and oh boy, I have thought about why people hate Adam a lot and I think Adam perfectly described why in trb - "rags to riches isn't a story anyone wants to hear until after its done." I can't speak for everyone, but it wasn't until end of trb/start of dream thieves that I started to like Adam. I liked gansey immediately, but barely skimmed over adam's chapters until we got to his "what do you want, Adam? to feel awake when my eyes are open" because suddenly I could understand with vivid clarity why I was so eager to not pay attention to Adam - it's because he is real. gansey, at least at the start, was not. he was from the get go established to be the typical male lead. handsome, popular, rich. he's privileged but tries to be humble (even when he fails at it), he tries to be a good friend (even tho sometimes he fails at it). gansey was presented to be the kind of protagonist we are all familiar with. we've seen him in nearly every piece of literature. but Adam? Adam is real. Adam is like the average person. he doesnt get to hope for a future, he has to make one. he understands this fact, perhaps more and way earlier than any other person might, and he wont let anything stand in the way. in trb it made him appear to be cruel, because when people read books about friendship they want it to be all or nothing. you would give up your life for your friend. you would give up everything for them. and so the audience, who are already naturally inclined to immediately go towards gansey, are frustrated at Adam because he's your friend! he just wants to help you! it's not until adam's arc ends that people really understand where Adam comes from, why adam does this. you cant give something to someone who has always had nothing and expect them to not think it doesnt come with strings attached. in the real world, it always does. and I think that is why adam's character arc hits all the more. I thought he was an interesting character from the start, but it wasn't until dream thieves, it wasn't until Adam had really really started his character development, that I finally understood. to me, personally, thinking too hard on adam's character was uncomfortable because then I would have to face the reality of life. liking gansey was safer, because he is the prince. the hero. the one you know is going to make it out in the end. the one you're supposed to like. but then Adam, who was supposed to be the side character in gansey's story, makes his own. he becomes the protagonist, takes charge of the story and the narrative - he doesnt just get the title of protagonist, he specifically makes it for himself. and honestly, I dont think adam's absolutely amazing spectacular character development hits as well if you didnt dislike him at the start because, Maggie makes sure you inevitably have an 'oh' moment where you realise that its been about adam parrish all along. its one of the main reasons why I will undoubtedly say Maggie Stiefvater is my favourite author - she is so good at manipulating her readers!

the same goes for declan, I think. we're not supposed to like him, because aside from that one pov he has, we only see him from the perspective of people who don't like him. I personally liked Declan right from the start, but I am in the minority because I know what its like to have to parent your shithead brother because your parents wont. but we were intended to not like declan until we finally saw his story from his pov in the dreamer trilogy. again, expert storytelling by mstief.

(tho if you still dont like declan and adam idk what to tell y'all. maybe reread the book with critical thinking skills?)

and yeah, I have to agree with you there. I have a lot of problems with a lot of things gansey and blue - especially gansey - do (more or less all of dream thieves??? I dont think I will ever forgive gansey for the car convo) but I cant say that makes me hate them exactly, because they are very complex characters.

and yeah dont even get me started on kavinsky. tbh I have his tag blocked and dont ever interact with any k posts. he was gross and disgusting and im glad he died.

[reonagisolos]

yknow, i love jaya and all, but the writing for them hurts me so badly because they do nya so dirty and I'm like NO so here are some of the changes I'd make without jeapordizing the actual plot (from the perspective of someone who watched from s1-7, sort of a rewrite? But not really. Just this one pet peeve I have with the writing here, from someone who loves drama but hates lobe triangles 🤟)

-The love triangle has to go away. i hated watching any type of moment with that cause it felt so forced like..Why would you do that?

-Instead of that, I'd rather have it first establish whether or not the feelings from jay to nya and vice versa were mutual. I'm sure it is and honestly I wish the triangle never existed but if I'd rather have it happen in some other way, I'd honestly want other characters to push it, instead of nya herself. It doesn't even need to be a full fledged arc, just something that happens for one season but affects how she acts in the future

-Doesn't make sense? Let me explain. It's especially apparent in s6 but nya? Yeah she's a GIRLBOSS who can STAND ON HER OWN!! I'd find it more interesting for a reinforcement to her character if she was suddenly pressured by the students or maybe by the other ninja that hey~ since an ai is all powerful and such, maybe they'd tease her about it, pretend like there's something there when there clearly isnt.

-she'd be mad of course (someone on some other post about doing nya dirty said something along the lines of objectifying her as some trophy and honestly I agree but we'll touch on that again later) but let's get to jay and cole.

-Jay, first and foremost, would definitely be overprotective of nya, in the way that kai would be as a naturally overprotective brother, and would likely misinterpret said teasing into cole actually being a "love rival" to him, which obviously isn't going to be his intent cause he's his friend and understands that jay really likes nya, BUT realistically, he'd question their friendship a little because while yes, nya is friends (jay idk man?) with the both of them, he's hurt that he'd be so defensive and angry about something so silly.

-Anyway they would definitely fight about this the same way it happened in canon (and ends about the same way in canon) because man for people who monologue a lot they can't with feelings and probably cope with it the same way.

-Post s3 and into s4, I feel as if their friendship would be even more strained than in canon (One because in this au I want to at least have a year of mourning for their dead friend like cmon) and they'd fight a LOT (moreso because of the instability of their feelings because of zane's death) with cole, it'd be how he made it look like he didn't care for their friend's death plus some leftover feelings from the nya thing.

-For jay, (god let me have enough energy to finish ranting about this because I love him) I see him as the kind of guy that'd carry guilt with him about past shit all the time because he thinks too much when he's alone. (which is a lot at this point) Now, he tends to think very quickly without thinking things through, mainly because stress builds up quickly and he has to do it now or never (kind of like the nature of his power) but when he has time to think he goes very far with it. It's muddles those thoughts of his, cause its been a while since he's talked to any of the other ninja, but he would probably realise on how stupid he was on being unnecessarily protective of nya (of course a little before climax when they had a moment to talk alone she'd tell him about this and boundaries, but he'd mainly kept it on the back burner, definitely staying away more, but sometimes overstepping it) so becuase of that he becomes way more withdrawn—Which shows when he meets the other ninja again for retrieving zane.

okay gonna give you a breather for a moment cause as you can see i yell a lot

-Back to that, it would likely be about the same from there, except cole would be talking a lot more than jay would be, instead showing mostly empty insults and glaring (at least until the the bruise battle which would happen in about the same way tbh)

And anyway, long story short since this was supposed to be about nya, and the end of arc 1 rewrite, they make up and post s4 but a bit before s5, they talk and become good friends again, enough so that they even joke about their stupid rivalry, to the relief of nya becuase damm. those boys stupid but you gotta love em

ANYWAY BACK TO NYA BECAUSE YEAH I NEED MORE WORDS FOR HER

First of all, I don't actually mind the jay seeing into the future and jaya and stuff and making it stupidly obvious he likes her, however...I would've loved if nya actually kept the thing about them being just friends for the rest of the season and a little after (with little moments here and there, but nothing more than platonic in terms of canon) because m/f relationships are fun and cute and while the basis for jaya is definitely there I want more development then maybe some questioning of feelings and then boom after the halfway point of that they come to a conclusion

(It's one of the reasons why I bruiseshipping)

That tea scene where she drops jay into the traveler's tea portal is a decent example of that. Though I wish there was less monologue in that scene cause it dragged on and shouldn't have been so long in a high tension scene where they try to decide who goes in, just one powerful line from her then drop him.

Also I want more moments where nya ripped the dress apart or something with either a weapon nearby or her definitely high power water jets to tear it a bit so she could fight better and kick jin (gin?) butt

or just more scenes of her fighting/training with samurai x or her herself prior to learning about her being the water ninja but if you wanna see that go see my shitty tags ig

okay I'm done now

[llycaons]

orchid, cactus, daffodil, sage, and jasmine !

hi ben!!!

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

I want to say "Sturgill Simpson, Sing Along, baby!" but I know in my heart that it's actually Iris by the Goo Goo dolls

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

I'll answer this one again! one of the topics I'm learning about is how to take care of newborn babies and their parents!

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

somehow I knew you'd pick this one. I have five siblings. for the sake of brevity, I'll go in order and list one similarity and difference each

1: older brother - similar tastes in media/I'm much more driven in general than he is

2: younger sister - ...drawing a blank on this one ngl my sister and I are VERY different people. similar political and social views, ig/well she's very social and into fashion and dates a lot and I uhhh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. younger sibling - NONE BINARY BABEY!!!!/they're a creative person (DM) and the one time I tried to DM I just gave up 😭

4. next younger brother - very loving and affectionate to our other siblings/he's super athletic

5. youngest brother - SENSITIVE SOULS/he's REALLY into minecraft

waaah I miss them

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

maybe this doesn't count but television tbh. originally it was books but since school is taking so much of my energy and attention, yeah, tv is my preferred medium. got the visual interest, got the audio interest, got the story element, got the potential for growth over time that movies don't. I don't really get poetry, I'm not into art except on a superficial level, I like statues and stuff but only if they offer something of visual interest. and I hope this doesn't come off as intellectually lazy but I'm honestly think I'm too much of a literal person to really be able to appreciate most art, and at this point in my life I genuinely do not have the mental energy or inclination to get involved now. but I LOVE fiction and always have. instead of tv I guess I could just say "stories" because storytelling is EVERYthing to me

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

interesting....I hope it doesn't sound shallow to say that I love things that bring me joy. I can, and do try to, challenge myself in other aspects of my life to look at things from a different perspective or to understand other people better, and I think fiction is great for that, but it's not really what it is for me. all this to say, if I loved something I usually want to experience it again. the exceptions would probably be things that have incredibly high highs but also very low lows. like iontbo, and all those long as shit series. critical role c1 and this current wot podcast. lotr books. KAIJI. most of my nonfiction books tbh I read them once and go "oh that's cool" and then I generally don't feel the need to revisit it

thanks for the ask! that last one was a thinker