#and if your response to an autistic person telling you that they and most other autistic people don't want to be cured

[black-rose-writings]

It's frightening to me that there are people out there who genuinely believe that autistic or queer people would be happier if they could just take a pill and be "normal". Who believe that wanting acceptance is just another way of saying you want to conform to societal norms. Who think that being "normal" will always be inherently a better and happier state of being, even if its inauthentic.

I love my mom to pieces, but I'm so glad she's not responsible for my medical decisions anymore, because I would not want my life to be in the hands of someone who believes I'd be happier if my brain was rewired to strip me of a core part of who I am as a person, of something that affects every part of my identity and behavior and thoughts, because then I would be "normal".

Like, ma'am, that a horror premise. That's horrifying. And the idea of that happening your child should also be fucking horrifying.

But I guess when you believe all humans ultimately want conformity, it's only logical you'd believe messing with your brain to make you into a different, more conforming person, would be ultimately a good thing.

[vaguely-concerned]

literally never am I getting over the unexpected and acknowledged throughline in this game that 'part of the reason lucanis is so good at what he does is, surprisingly, that he has a frankly remarkable capacity for empathy'. his instinct for it is so strong that it even kicks in looking at actual demons he's been culturally conditioned to think of as mindless monsters and lets him realize that they are just as innocent in the middle of this horror as every other prisoner, which is what helps him survive in there and reach an understanding (and even a warmth beneath it all!) with spite, when spite was at his most terrified and confused and needed him. it makes him an incredibly kind and devoted friend, and a terrifying enemy. shorn of most of the compassion that goes along with it in his private life, he uses it in his professional one as one more knife to kill with as easily as he does in SO gently and softly helping to untangle lace harding's people pleasing problems with her. so long as the three categories of people -- family, enemies, targets -- stay distinct and separate in his head, this seems to be working out swimmingly for him! (well. that's probably what he'd tell you at least lol it's certainly helped him survive and do his job I'll give him that.) the MOMENT the lines start to blur, he is fucked. this dude was compartmentalized to hell and back long before the ossuary.

(he shares the 'incredible insight into people and human nature -- as long as I don't have to interpersonally engage with and adapt to it on the spot. b/c then you'll see the biggest mess you could ever imagine' trait with merrill. which does make quite a bit of sense in that they're written by the same person and also in my estimation a not entirely dissimilar shade of autistic lol. also yet another tick on the 'lucanis - iron bull parallels' tally haha. 'ben-hassrath, kid. we can use anything.' what if your circumstances and upbringing forced you to turn some of the kindest fundamental instincts inside you into tools for violence and you only got to keep guarded scraps of it for yourself. what if you're so fucking scared it'll break bad inside you some day and turn you into a monster and you'll end up hurting the people you love. saddest freeze slash dissociative trauma response handshake meme duo To Me)

[clownrecess]

(Tw for ableism, meltdowns, elopement, etc.)

Hi, I am currently in an argument with someone in a comment section because they are saying that autism is not a disability. So I decided that I want to make a post about it, and thoroughly talk about it.

If you do not know me, hello. I am an autistic primarily nonspeaking teenager with mid-high support needs. I'm disabled.

I am honestly very tired of low support needs autistics saying that autism isnt disabling, because it very much is for me and a lot of other people. Just because your experience isnt the same as ours, doesn't cancel out our experience.

I will never live alone. I am a teenager who can not make food, or blow dry his own hair. My ability to use oral speech varies a lot, and when I can use it, I usually end up having severe meltdowns from it. I am in special ed. It hurts when I brush my hair. I have put myself in danger by running into the street. My emotions are extremely strong, so I often seem rude when I'm not, I just can't control the fact that when I feel something it's so incredibly strong that it hurts. I have little to no internal sensation. I could not bathe myself until I was 9 or ten, and even now I will not just go and take a shower myself; I need someone to tell me to, and I need a visual schedule to help me do so. And many more things.

The person's response was to then say that is not because I am autistic, that is because of the way mankind is. That my autism is not disabling, society is. And whilst I do agree that society is horrible to disabled people, and it would be much much easier to exist as a disabled person in this world if society was different, that doesn't change the fact that my autism is disabling. Me being nonspeaking is not because of society. Me being unable to care for myself is not because of society. Most of the things on that list are not because of society!

Just because low support needs people exist, does absolutely not give them the right to speak over us, and tell us what our experiences are or are not.

My autism is disabling. Listen to me. Listen to me. My life has been severely impacted because I am disabled. You can not sit there and tell me that me being unable to care for myself, and unable to live alone ever, isn't disabling, and that it's because of society.

I am disabled. Stop speaking over high support needs autistics.

[transmascpetewentz]

hey so. can we all agree to stop saying "asperger's syndrome".

the arguments have been made already for why the term is offensive to autistic people as a general whole, so i'm not going to repeat them here. what i want to focus on is the less talked about issue with the fact that we as a community still use this word.

there is literally no excuse for any person, but especially jewish & romani people, to have their medical condition named after a fucking nazi who tried to genocide their ancestors. ZERO.

and before i get a ton of people in the replies trying to make excuses, let me pre-emptively answer the most common replies i know i'm going to get.

"ohhhh no but it's sooooo hard for me to switch my language, it's only been ten years since the dsm five came out!!!!!"

boo hoo, it's hard for you to use a different word after over ten years of the dsm five removing asperger's as a diagnosis. it must be soooo much more difficult to give a single shit about jews and roma than the experiences of jews and roma who went through a genocide and are still facing violence to this day /s

"but i'm an aspie and i get to reclaim that word if i want!!!!!"

yeah, the term asperger's syndrome is offensive both to autistic people who fall under the criteria and to autistic people that don't. but do you know who else that term is offensive to? the people who went through a genocide. unless you are jewish or romani i don't want to hear it.

"but i was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome before the dsm five came out!!!!!"

see the above two points about how not continuing to glorify genocide is more important than keeping the same words we've always used for things. it's fine to say you were diagnosed with asperger's, but you do not have "asperger's", you have autism (or are autistic if that's the language you prefer).

"but i didn't know that asperger was a nazi!!!"

well, now you do.

"but naming a medical condition after someone doesn't necessarily glorify them!!!!"

would you apply this logic to literally any other field of science? if we decided to name an element after a nazi, people would rightfully be angry. people have been calling for years to rename a beetle named after a nazi. if you name a medical condition after someone, that generally means one of two things: the person was a very important and good researcher in the field, or the person was a notable person who had the medical condition. this might be a hot take, but i don't think that a nazi scientist working for the nazis should ever be considered the best and most important early researcher in any field to be deserving of having a discovery named after them.

"but you can't speak for all jews!!! look, you aren't even jewish yet, it says that on your profile!!!!"

no, i cannot speak for all jews. but i am speaking for myself when i say that all of your (general) excuses have stopped working, and that y'all need to put others' needs above your feelings sometimes. during the writing of this post, i spoke to other jews who have made posts about this before, but y'all continue to ignore jewish voices and make excuses for yourselves when it really isn't that hard to just stop saying a word.

"you're being ableist by telling me, an autistic person, how i can and cannot identify!!!!!"

i'm writing this post as someone who is autistic and would have been diagnosed with "asperger's syndrome" had i gotten my diagnosis before the dsm five came out. being autistic is no excuse for being racist, antisemitic, or any other bigotry. autistic non-jews have continuously spoken over autistic jews on many issues, including this one, and guys, it is not that hard to care about jews and roma enough to make this tiny change to your vocabulary.

i hope all of this has been enough to ward off some of the responses that i'm going to get to this post. i'm willing to engage in good faith if you're genuinely ignorant or confused, but if you have read this post, you no longer get to say that you "didn't know" that hans asperger was a nazi and that we shouldn't name any medical condition, but especially one that many jews and roma have, after people who committed genocide.

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Hi! Can I request a mommy Wanda x fem reader where they’re at an amusement park and after awhile R gets overstimulated because the sun is sunning and there’s no clouds so she’s really hot and she’s also hungry and thirsty and her legs hurt but she doesn’t tell Wanda any of this because she gets really quiet/almost non-verbal when she’s overstimulated but Wanda is able to figure it out anyway? Much comfort and love 🤭💕

Mommy!Wanda Maximoff x autistic!fem!reader

Summary: It's time for a trip to the amusement park, but everything is overstimulating you.

Word Count: 1K

Warnings: Age gap relationship (W=34 R=23), Dom/sub dynamics(vague), comfort fic

Authors notes: I'm actually not a huge amusement park person (I don't like rides) so I hope this is good!

The sun blazed overhead as the bustling sounds of the amusement park surrounded you. The Avengers had planned this day off, a rare chance to relax and enjoy some fun together. It had started off great, with everyone in high spirits. Wanda had been especially excited, dragging you from ride to ride with a contagious enthusiasm.

But now, hours into the day, you felt the oppressive heat bearing down on you. Sweat trickled down your back, your mouth dry and throat parched. Your legs ached from the constant walking, and the cacophony of sounds—the shrieks of joy, the clanking of rides, the chatter of the crowd—felt like they were closing in on you.

You tried to keep a brave face, not wanting to ruin anyone's day. The others, including Wanda, seemed to be having such a great time. You didn't want to be the one to bring that to a halt. So, you stayed quiet, your usual chatter reduced to nearly nothing. You could feel yourself retreating into your shell, the overstimulation pushing you to the edge of being non-verbal.

Wanda, however, was incredibly perceptive. She had been keeping an eye on you throughout the day, and it didn’t take long for her to notice the subtle changes in your behavior. The way you trailed behind a bit more, the lack of response to her excited chatter, the small frown lines that had appeared on your forehead.

"Hey," she said gently, pulling you aside as the group decided on their next ride. She cupped your face with her hands, her touch cool against your flushed skin. "Are you okay?"

You forced a smile and nodded, but you could see the concern in her eyes. She wasn't buying it.

"Sweetheart," she said softly, "you don't have to hide how you're feeling. I can see you're struggling."

Your resolve crumbled a bit at her words, your eyes filling with tears. "I didn't want to ruin everyone's day," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wanda's expression softened even more, and she pulled you into a hug. "You could never ruin our day. If you're not okay, then we're not okay. Let's take care of you."

She led you to a shaded area, where you could sit down and take a break. The rest of the Avengers noticed and quickly joined, their concern evident.

"Hey, what's going on?" Natasha asked, crouching down beside you.

"Wanda thinks I need a break," you said quietly.

"Smart move," Tony agreed, handing you a cold bottle of water. "It's brutally hot out here."

As you sipped the water, feeling it cool your parched throat, Wanda sat next to you, her arm around your shoulders. "We're going to find some food and take it easy for a bit, okay?" she said.

You nodded, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. The team's understanding and support made the heavy weight of overstimulation a little easier to bear. Wanda kissed your forehead, her touch grounding you in a way that nothing else could.

"Thank you," you murmured, leaning into her.

"Always," Wanda replied. "Your well-being is what's most important. We're here for you, no matter what."

With that, the Avengers rallied to make sure you were comfortable, taking the rest of the day at a slower pace, making sure you were hydrated, fed, and rested. The love and care they showed you made you realize that you were never a burden, and that taking care of yourself was just as important as having fun.

The day continued at a much more relaxed pace. Wanda stayed by your side, her arm wrapped around your waist as you both wandered through the amusement park. You had insisted that the rest of the team continue enjoying their day, reassuring them that you were in good hands with Wanda. They reluctantly agreed, but not without checking in on you periodically.

Wanda, being your girlfriend, never minded taking care of you. To her, you were her precious little girl, and she took great joy in making sure you were happy and comfortable. She suggested you both try the carnival games, and you eagerly agreed. You played game after game, laughing and cheering each other on.

You managed to win a few adorable squishmallows, each representing your favorite Avengers. You secured one of Wanda, Natasha, Cap, and Peter. Each time you won, Wanda's eyes would light up with pride, and she'd kiss your cheek, making your heart flutter with warmth.

As the sun began to set, the amusement park transformed. The rides and stalls were lit up with twinkling lights, casting a magical glow over everything. You and Wanda decided to take a leisurely stroll, enjoying the cool evening air. The day's heat was finally dissipating, and the breeze felt refreshing against your skin.

You started to feel the exhaustion creeping in, your steps becoming slower and more unsteady. Wanda noticed immediately and didn't hesitate to scoop you up into her arms. You wrapped your arms around her neck, your head resting on her shoulder.

"Looks like someone is ready to call it a night," she teased gently, her voice soothing.

"Mhm," you mumbled, already feeling your eyelids drooping.

Wanda carried you toward the parking lot, her gentle rocking motion lulling you further into a sleepy haze. The day had taken all your energy, but it was worth it. Spending time with Wanda, winning those silly squishmallows, and seeing the amusement park lit up at night—it had all been worth it.

As she walked, Wanda spoke softly to you, her voice a comforting melody. "You did great today, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you for pushing through. I hope you had fun."

"I did," you whispered, nuzzling closer to her. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Always," she replied, kissing your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," you managed to say before drifting off completely.

By the time you reached the car, you were fast asleep in Wanda's arms. She gently placed you in the passenger seat, buckling you in securely. The rest of the team soon joined, and everyone exchanged quiet, tired smiles as they settled in for the drive home.

As Wanda drove, she kept one hand on the wheel and the other holding yours, your fingers intertwined. The squishmallows you had won sat in the backseat, a reminder of the fun and love that had filled the day. You might have used all your spoons, but with Wanda by your side, it had been more than worth it.

[enavstars]

May you bliss us with your angst ninja headcanons?

mainly kai pls

Sorry for the delay. You asked mostly for Kai's so I delivered. If anyone wants more hcs about the others I can work on it some time in the future (I also have more of Kai).

Now the hcs:

• All the ninja have PTSD from everything they’ve been through

• And abandonment issues

• Cole has an eating disorder and eats when he’s stressed, this is one of the reasons he is very insecure of his weight. People online poke at him for it

• Jay's terrified of losing his loved ones again because of him. That is another reason why he went absolutely crazy post Seabound, as he thinks it was his fault Nya had to resort to sacrificing herself

• He used to be bullied for living in a junkyard before becoming a ninja and that's why he was ashamed of it

• Zane always shoves down everything wrong that happens to him (e.g being the Ice Emperor for way too long to be ok about it) because he puts the team and their needs first.

• Nya has nightmares from the time she died in skybound but doesn't tell anyone.

• She had to keep her work and love life secret from her brother for fear that he would shut her down to protect her. Her fear persisted well into s1 and that's why she felt she had to hide Samurai X even from Kai

• Lloyd still admires his uncle despite his obsession with the green ninja (and all the neglect that came with it) because he's the only relative that actually took him in

• All of the ninja have at some point hidden an injury at least once. But Kai and Nya are the ones that do it more often (Nya specially when she was samurai X), and know how to treat mild wounds because of it.

• Kai and Nya do physical activities when they’re stressed or have emotions they don’t want to process. They can do their thing like Kai working in the forge and Nya doing mechanics but they usually train, however they can go on for hours (Kai has passed out a few times)

• Kai and Zane have a very poor sense of self. Zane’s comes from him not valuing his life and thinking he’s expendable since he can be rebuilt, ignoring all the trauma that comes from getting severely hurt or “dying”. Kai has problems seeing his worth as a human being because he’s never lived for himself; everything he does is for someone else and so he thinks his value resides in what he can do for other people. 

• Kai is terrified of the idea of being alone, it’s his worst fear.

• He has THE WORST coping mechanisms and Zane is confused on how his body was able to go through all of them (Alcoholism, illegal fights, smoking…)

• Kai is an insomniac, he barely sleeps most nights and instead just waits until he passes out (He has very deep eyebags because of it but hides them with make up, covering his freckles too). He sometimes bumps into some other ninja at night since they all have fucked up sleep schedules. 

• Lloyd also has a lot of problems sleeping because of nightmares and goes to Kai or Nya’s room where he feels safer (mostly into Kai’s). Sometimes they stay up at night chilling or they try to sleep. In those cases the nights with Lloyd are the ones where Kai sleeps the most because he feels safer too.

• Kai has chronic depression because of his fucked up childhood

• Lloyd thought he had depression too for a while but it turned out to be autistic burnout because of the stress of being the green ninja. But he can’t properly rest or heal from the burnout so he’s exhausted most of the time.

• When he’s stressed Kai forgets to eat and can go days with very little food because he’s used to it from being poor in his childhood.

• Genuinely forgot what it feels like to be a kid and have no responsibilities so it’s his personal mission to not let that happen to Lloyd. Kai would be devastated if Lloyd ended up like him.

• Kai sometimes feels insecure about his face scars and contemplates hiding them with make up.

• Kai’s touch starved but terrified of letting people in.

• He hides his negative emotions as anger and when the others try to reach out to him he pushes them away by getting angry at them until it's mutual and they leave him alone.

• Never told the others about what he did after Zane’s “death”. He fixed himself up, alone.

[weepingpussywillowtree]

A list of behaviors I, as an autistic person who has a social drive, would genuinely like an explanation for:

- why, when I plan something for a group I get little to no response at all when asking about dates, times, and venues, even when being as specific as possible, until the plans are made semi-concrete and I get a barrage of messages about how people hate the venue, they can't do the date, how could I possibly forget that their dog has yoga classes on Tuesdays, etc. then after jumping through all possible hoops and finding the best arrangement for the most number of people, the date comes and almost nobody shows up.

- why people say they want to make new friends and then just add you on social media or you exchange phone numbers and it never goes any further, even when you reach out, and why they get scared off when you suggest something even as casual as getting coffee.

- why people say that your vibes don't match or that you don't vibe (it seems to me this is some kind of code for conventional physical attractiveness??)

- why people will call you their friend to other people (even when they don't know you will hear about it/don't know you can hear them) when you barely know anything about each other and don't hang out and they dodge invites. At what point am I a friend?? At what point can I call someone a friend? Why do you seem excited about me to other ppl when we barely know each other and you seem to be dodging my attempts to get to know you better?

- why we always have to do something that involves pics or going somewhere or spending money, and why it's weird for me to invite you over just to exist in each other's spaces together. Playdates used to be normal?? Sometimes I just wanna talk and watch a movie, or talk and watch you play a game, or just knit and talk?? I thought people liked talking??

- on the flip side, why people say they are looking to go on 'adventures' but then don't want to actually do anything?? Like, if you want to go on an adventure there's a castle down the road, let's go visit. There's a new bakery opening, let's go. Let's go look for rocks at the beach because we can? Is that not what an adventure is? What does this phrase mean if not that?

I am tired and frustrated and feel like something's wrong with me. I want to be your friend, I want to listen to you talk and do things with you or just hang out. I want to help you with things or have you help me with things or just exist together. What test do I have to pass? Why do people tell me years later they wish we could have hung out more after we've moved away from each other or whatever when I was trying to hang out the whole time? Why do I come across as intimidating when that is the opposite of what I am attempting to project? I understand that relationships take time to build but it seems like no one wants to take the time. I get that people work a lot and are tired from it, I am too, but we don't have to do anything special. I'll go to the grocery store with you, I don't care.

I don't get it. I don't get any of it.

[drdemonprince]

In reading your latest piece, I think I've stumbled onto something akin to a personal epiphany. You describe transition as an act of "want" (Chu's longing for gossip and yours for the life of an eternal bachelor) and I've realized that I think as a consequence of growing up autistic, I've obliterated the concept of personal want. I don't know if I truly ever want anything? How do I even know what I truly want (versus what other people tell me I should want)? Is there an opposite of resentment I can tune into so I can tell what I want when my conscious mind is unable to provide me an answer?

I think the place is to start with what you don't want. What I describe as "wanting the bachelor life forever" in my piece is actually a desire born out of negation: I don't want kids, I don't want marriage, I don't want responsible adulthood and the weight that that carries, I want to feel free-roaming and open to random experiences. What i knew most viscerally for myself was what felt wrong, and owning up to those feelings no matter how socially inconvenient they might be was what made it possible for me to articulate what I proactively did find desirable.

I recommend rejecting a lot of things, disappointing a lot of people, being disobedient, setting boundaries, all of that stuff that I have been writing about for a very long time (check out the pieces on those subjects if you haven't already, but from the sound of it you probably have). And then when it comes to positively desiring things, you've got to start small. Find a little thing to look forward to every day, or every week. In my household, Wednesdays and Fridays are Dunkin Donuts days. Instead of making coffee at home, you get a little treat. That makes getting a coffee out of the house still feel precious and special while also making it attainable, and gives the work week a little horizon to peak over at its mid point.

I so look forward to the weekly streams on Friday with @testdevice, too. Afterward I usually get a meal somewhere and then go out for some kind of weekend activity -- drinking and watching Drag Race at Roscoe's, a movie, dancing, whatever. I make forming plans for the weekend a task I set out for myself at the top of every week. I find street festivals, concerts, craft fairs, protests, little things to do that I know will be meaningful to me. Small pleasures parceled out on a regular schedule provide a pleasing structure to life. It makes the forward march of time feel more exciting and keeps daily life from being defined by obligation and drudgery. Sometimes it's something like playing a video game at home or meeting up at a friend's house for a movie night and snacks. However you can swing it, you gotta have little things to look forward to, I think, in order to enjoy being alive and to get into the habit of thinking more expansively about what you want. you can making finding things that you want to do a regular project, a practice.

A lot of life is experimenting with new experiences and relationships with other people to find out what you actually like. It's not some profound act of introspection. People block themselves off from a lot of meaningful aspects of life by thinking the answers come from plumbing the depths of their soul and finding their true calling or true desire divorced from everything else. There is no self outside of experience and social connection.

And so the best way to find out what you want is to try a lot of different things. Go watch your friend at their competitive poker tournament. Volunteer to clean litter off the beach. Foster a bunny rabbit. Make a casserole. Darn a sock. Buy some handmade jewelry. Visit a museum with a coworker you kinda might like the company of. Invite someone over for dinner. How it plays out and how you feel about it is all data about the kind of person you are becoming.

I also wouldn't get too bogged down in the idea that wants can only come from the pursuit of happiness. I got a few really well intentioned asks this week that I never answered about what brings me joy, what makes me happy. Truth is, I'm not someone who experiences happiness easily and i might never be. That is okay. I still have a life that holds meaning because I AM very good at finding things interesting. i like talking to people, learning from them, watching things play out in real time.

You don't have to feel some kind of abiding soul connection to an activity or sense that a way of life will absolutely make you happy in order for it to interest you, help you grow, bring your life meaning. Other people might not want to read long history books about genocide and the social construction of race in order to bring their life pleasure, but those activities engage my mind and make me feel more firmly rooted in the actual world. they're interesting and rewarding to study, and so i do it. i say yes to a lot of invitations purely because i've never seen what horse racing is like or because i want to see if i'll still get nauseated if i ride a boat now as an adult. it's interesting. it might not make me happy or be fun. but i like a life better with those experiences. those are the things i gravitate to and want. and you can find what you want, too, and it will always keep changing probably.

[lunar-wandering]

alright, i'll do it.

I'll go off the deep end over the argument scene

First and foremost: they're kinda both in the wrong, obviously. But also kinda both in the right?

Macaque, is in the right for being upset that Wukong didn't listen to him, that Wukong drove himself to this point, etc etc. He, even, is not the one to start this argument, and instead approached peacefully, and attempted to leave when he was getting irritated. It was Wukong that pushed him over the edge into blowing up at him.

He even leaves afterwards, which, actually, is technically the right course of action. In a healthy relationship (platonic or romantic) it'd be best to give both parties time to cool off, and then return and discuss the issues calmly to find a solution.

The main problem is; they don't do this. Macaque doesn't come back, and Wukong doesn't cool off.

On the other hand, Wukong is in the right for being mad, mad that Macaque isn't working to free him (cause, from his position, it sure seems like he isn't), and is instead 'wasting time'. Mad that Macaque would dare to say he was dragged into a mess when he isn't the one trapped under a mountain. (On some level, mad at himself, likely, for letting all this happen).

He, of course, doesn't have the choice to leave, so instead he's left.

The core issue here, as is usual with most relationships shown in media; is their lack of communication. Wukong didn't truly listen to Macaque, and Macaque was too upset to understand Wukong's side of the issue.

...And they let this fester.

Of course, this isn't the end of the falling apart between them. No, there's more to this, the show makes this adamantly clear with MK trying to get Macaque to tell him "what happened between them".

Things continued after this, this was just the barest tipping point.

So. Macaque (probably) didn't come back.

We don't know why. We don't know if it was his choice, based on hearing Wukong yell that he "never wants to see your face again", or if it wasn't his choice, if something else happened.

So Wukong is left alone.

It is shown, in Journey to the West, that Wukong is prone to anger.

Quite usually, this is his response to most situations that upset him (followed later by crying), anger and destruction is usually his first response.

Whether viewed under an "autistic Wukong" lense or a "traumatized Wukong" lense, this makes perfect sense.

It's even shown in the show, if you look at the early pieces of flashback art that show bits of the Journey, you can see that Wukong looks pissed in most of them, and that he slowly starts to look happier as the images go on, as, in the story, he worked on this issue, and got better, less angry, less prone to immediately resort to violence.

(Notably, as far as I remember, the tipping point for when he slowly starts becoming less violent literally is the Macaque Chapter. Interesting, huh?)

Wukong, likely, logically knows that there was nothing Macaque could do to free him. Emotionally, though?

He's going to be upset the next time he sees him. And when he's upset, he's prone to anger.

Macaque, on the other hand, is going to see Wukong, with the Journey to the West group, slowly becoming a better person, old parts of him returning, creating someone new. Wukong... changed for these people, he listens to them.

But not for him. Wukong didn't change for him, and he never listened to him.

So. They meet again. We're not sure how. We don't know if that whole thing of Macaque pretending to be Wukong and attacking the JTTW gang is still actually a thing in Monkie Kid. It's possible he might do it out of jealousy, but we're not sure if it happens.

Maybe Macaque came to Wukong for help. Maybe Wukong, still mad about being left behind, refused. (I consider this possible based on the the way the special shows Macaque when MK says that "Monkey King would try to save us if one of us was trapped" + his reaction to MK saying he'd never abandon his friend in s3ep10. It's possible he's regretting not trying harder to free Wukong, but...)

We don't know.

What we do know is, they fought, and Wukong, in the end, successfully killed Macaque.

A Key thing this show hasn't brought up though is... how.

Shadow Play, vaguely, implies that it might've been via his Kaiju Form.

Notably, we are now at the point where Wukong, who, once again notably, has the most memorable Kaiju Form within the story of Journey To The West, is the only one of the three monkeys in this show who hasn't used their Kaiju Form.

We've been told, quite a few times, actually, that Wukong is holding back.

He held back against Nezha. He held back in episode 9, in the fight against Macaque. Even when he was possessed he wasn't using his full power- we're outright told that Wukong was fighting her control the whole time- he couldn't do that while also going at full power.

We've never seen Wukong go all out in the show.

...Why?

Why would the most powerful character, of all time, not use that power to defeat world-ending threats? Why would he choose to not pull out all the stops?

...

("You can't just ignore your power because you're afraid of it.")

Why else, would he not be using his full power, if it wasn't what killed his best friend?

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

US government (<essentially) requesting public comments on conditions that co-occur (happen together) with autism.

specifically, 7 questions, ask about physical & mental health & other (learning & communication & intellectual & developmental disorders) conditions, what more research need, how services for these can be better, how COVID infection & world changes from COVID impact (good/bad). each question can say 1500 words.

open january 3, 2024 to february 14, 2024.

all response be part of public record - so please do not say thing not comfortable with government or other people like researchers see, not say anything confidential or personally identifiable.

.

now.

although this apply to all autism in US, not just high support / etc., but:

to higher support needs & levels 2/3 & semi- & nonverbal nonspeaking & severely autistics, their caregivers, & allies, of united states

(to higher support needs & higher levels & semi- & nonverbal nonspeaking autistics, their caregivers, & allies, of united states)

ask for public comments like this, inherent more inaccessible to autistics with high support needs & level 2/3 & w more severity, whatever language we feel most comfortable with. this called research sampling bias.

independent & many times even with support… not all of us can / know how to use internet, or know internet exist. not all of us can read complex government language. not all of us have functional communication to able respond. not all us have writing easily be understood. for those who can any/all of this, often very difficult.

so what happen is many us we need caregivers & other people respond with us for us. not all of us have caregivers or caregivers who can. not all of us know this call to response exist. and. our voice get drowned out because governmental people don’t realize this research sampling bias, don’t realize the method they do survey inherent leave out some of most marginalized autistics. so they going take results from lower support & level 1 n maybe 2 autistics, then think it speak for all autistics. (kind of already able see this, how they forget mention genetic & chromosomal conditions, like rett williams down syndrome, which more likely affect higher support & more severe & level 3 autistics)

we need have our voice represented in response, as much as possible. and. we need make sure they know about this research sampling bias.

so, am directly calling those of us who can. to fill out. those who caregiver, to fill out with us for us. but also those ally: to not forget about us when fill out.

higher support needs & level 2/3 & semi- & nonverbal autistics & with more severe autism in US:

if you can, fill out with your experiences in most authentic way possible & most comfortable. include with AAC, with “grammatically incorrect” sentences, with short sentences, etc.

or, show caregiver or someone trust, to fill out with you for you.

remember what you say can be seen by government people & researcher & others for long time, so make sure don’t say anything that can make people know it’s you & don’t say thing don’t want other people know. but do know your name won’t be tied to this.

spread word & tell caregiver & friends to spread word too

caregivers to us in US:

help us fill this out - with us for us. your experience your joy your labor is part of autism experience, but also remember this is about us. please balance two & give us dignity & autonomy.

remember this become part of public record. so again don’t say personally identifiable things & confidential things. think about what we would not want other people know.

spread word!

allies to us in US:

if you autistic yourself, of course fill out with your experiences, but also:

when fill out, please do remember explicitly say and emphasize how this inherent inaccessible to us, that you won’t hear from many of us because we can’t, that whatever result will skew to those lower support & more independent & level 1 n maybe 2.

(it not say you have be autistic to fill this out, it call for public response after all, but if you not autistic & not closely associate with autism like family like research like service provider, do think about what you say & why you say)

spread word :D especially about part about high support needs / etc

those not in US:

sorry😢but do spread word if can/want

.

do NOT argue about severity & functioning labels & levels & support needs language on this. use these because know people use them call themselves - respect them. if you don’t call self that or not even target of these language am not talking about you.

.

all 7 questions under cut, can also see them on website

1. What are the most significant challenges caused by co-occurring physical health conditions in autistic people? (Examples of co-occurring physical health conditions: gastrointestinal disorders, sleep disturbances, epilepsy, sensory and motor challenges)

2. What are the most significant challenges caused by co-occurring mental health conditions in autistic people? (Examples of mental health co-occurring conditions: depression, anxiety, aggressive or self-injurious behavior, suicidality)

3. What are the most significant challenges caused by other conditions that co-occur with autism, such as learning disabilities, developmental disabilities, intellectual disabilities, and communication disabilities?

4. What additional research is needed to help address co-occurring conditions for autistic people?

5. What could be improved in autism services and supports to help address co-occurring conditions for autistic people? (Examples: Equitable access to and accessibility of services, insurance coverage, service systems issues, patient-provider interactions)

6. What lasting impact has COVID–19 infection and illness had on co-occurring physical and/or mental health conditions for autistic people?

7. What lasting positive or negative impacts have societal changes due to the COVID–19 pandemic had on physical or mental health for autistic people? (Examples of societal changes: disruptions in services, increased remote work and school, increased use of telehealth, reduced in-person social interactions and obligations)

[hillbillyoracle]

How to Have Better Conversations

I’m writing this at the request of my partner. She shared she’s really been struggling with making conversation more than usual lately. I shared some thoughts on how I navigate conversations she found useful and asked if I’d be willing to make a resource or write more about it. This is not meant to be a definitive expert guide, it’s built from my observations and experiences as someone who is autistic and has to navigate a lot of social situations completely manually. This is how I break down the individual components of conversation.

When I spelled this all out, one of her takeaways was that conversations actually involve a lot of microdecisions and that’s why they can be so tiring. And I think that’s totally correct. But I think it’s also why some people can thrive with them because it’s actually a lot of difficult decisions that are tricky to pull off well so when you can and do, there’s a real sense of accomplishment that can make talking more appealing.

I have a feeling this post will be overcomplicated and convoluted to a lot of folks but maybe there’s a handful of folks for whom it is helpful. Take what works, leave the rest. Summary at the end.

Types of Conversation

Topics of conversation are decently important in my experience. They ultimately let you know where the conversation will go - whether it’s likely to end in a dead end, what sorts of things it will allow you to learn about the person you’re discussing with. In my experience, just about all conversation topics fall into one of four camps.

While I talk about Best Use and Don’t Use here - most conversation in the following topics will fall somewhere in-between. They’re just sign posts, not rules.

Me

The focus is on you. Me topics are ultimately about telling a story about yourself with some amount of conscious intent.

Best Use

The best use of this is setting expectations and conveying preferences. This allows your talking about yourself to serve a purpose that ultimately assists the other person in knowing how to understand and interact with you best without necessarily demanding certain treatment front. They might change or not change how they interact with you and this can show how responsive you might expect them to be.

Examples:

“I’m a writer so I don’t work 9-5. If I reply at odd times, that’s probably what’s going on.”

“One of my favorite ways to get to know someone is to grab a hot drink and go for a walk with them.”

Don’t Use

The worst use of this is look a certain way - knowledgeable, impressive, interesting. Basically any use rooted in getting another person to like you. Genuine connection doesn’t start from a place of elevating one person over another. Plus honestly 90% of people just do not care about why you think you’re interesting, important, etc and hate feeling pressured to validate you.

Examples:

“My boss was even stumped by the issue but I figured it out on my own.”

“All my friends say I’m the best at baking.”

“I keep a bunch of tools in my car, I’m ready to fix anything anywhere.”

You

The focus is on the other person. You topics are ultimately about letting the other person share the story of themselves.

Best Use

The best use of You topics is to better understand how a person understands themselves. Open ended questions that invite them to show their thinking as well and shows you how they reason. The common acronym FORD (family, occupation/occupy time, recreation, dreams) is a decent

Example:

“So how did you find yourself in this city? What was that journey like?”

“Why did you take up [your hobby]? What drew you to it?”

Don’t Use

Don’t use you topics to actively try to find fault with someone else. It’s great to have standards and hard no’s for your friendships and relationships. But poking around for them upfront can alienate people who you’d otherwise like - suspicion is not a desirable quality in a friend or potential partner. Ultimately you have to let a person show you who they are and make a personal call. There’s no short cut.

Example:

“So why did you and your ex break up?”

“So you get angry easily then?”

Both

The focus is on a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of both topics is to notice things about them they wouldn’t think to explicitly share necessarily and to connect in a way that only people with your shared interest or expertise allows.

Example:

My partner and I both have a background in academic medical research. However when we talk about it, it becomes apparent that my focus is on the practical and researcher side and hers is on the data and compliance side. It’s interesting to note where our similar interests compliment and diverge.

Don’t Use

Don’t use both topics to try one up or show you know more than the other person. The minute you do that the shared aspect - and therefore connection - is gone.

Example:

I once went on a date with a man who spent a half hour explaining how GIS systems work in a very “look at me” way after I mentioned I had used them when I was studying forestry in college. It was boring as hell.

Neither

The focus is on a topic without a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of neither topics is a shared exploration/experience. One person will usually know a little more about a topic than the other person. The person who knows less benefits by learning about a topic they’re curious about. Their questions and observations invite the other to think about this topic in a new light so the experience winds up being somewhat shared.

Examples:

A woman in line at Lowes let me know I could overwinter mums in this area. I proceeded to ask her about how she’d taken such good care of hers and whether the effortwas worth it. She thoughtfully answered my questions and I learned a lot.

I mentioned to my partner a personal project I’m considering undertaking. She asks about my motivations for it and in doing so I have to further clarify them. She learned a little about what my project was about and I learned what I was really after, seeing it fresh.

Don’t Use

Don’t use neither topics to soapbox about things that are of solely personal interest. If someone makes it clear they’re not interested pivot to something more interesting. Even neither topics require at least a little bit of common ground.

Examples:

I regularly talk about group hypocrisies I’m trying to make sense of before realizing that people outside of that group don’t really care.

Ideal Ratio

In general, in reflecting on my own conversations, I think a ratio where more than half the conversation is on either both or neither topics are the most rewarding. It’s where neither party walks away feeling like they talked too much about themselves and when meaningful and interesting topics still have been discussed.

I think it’s a common mistake to try to get the conversation to be 50% you, 50% me. That’s where conversations feel like a job interview and get exhausting real quick. They also have an appearance of depth as people disclose more to keep the conversation going but with out a feeling of connection after because little time is spent on exploration and shared experience.

How to Respond

So knowing what topic you’re currently or want to talk about is one part of this, but the other is choosing a response. I generally let the other person’s response dictate some measure of my response.

Pivot

If someone seems negatively engaged - leaning back, looking around a lot, arms crossed, giving short answers - I pivot to a neutral topic. I find neutral topics work best because the focus is not on either of you - they don’t feel like they’re under pressure to disclose or act interested in you. Neutral topics also allow them to lead the pace - asking questions and making observations at the level they feel comfortable. If they continually seem negatively engaged, it’s usually best to bail from the conversation, especially if asking questions about the dynamic itself seems like it might not be welcome.

Matching

If someone seems neutrally engaged - mostly looking in your direction, not leaning toward or away, giving input on what you’re saying - I match and continue with the topic.

FOOL

Being a little like the Fool in the Major Arcana is actually a great way to be a good conversationalist - genuine, curious, brave, and receptive. Bellow are some concrete ways how.

Follow up questions - Good follow up questions come from a genuine place of curiousity. They also tend to either fill in gaps in your own understanding or encourage the speaker expand the discussion into a new but related area.

Observation - Observations on the topic itself are great but not your only option. You can oberve how a person seemed to feel when talking about the topic. You can observe that they’d touched on a related topic before. Comparison is a fruitful ground for observations as well - “That’s similar to…” and ”That’s very different than….”

Opinion - Offering an opinion or requesting their opinion is a good way to keep a conversation going. In general, it’s best to avoid generalizations, soften them a little to start with, and make sure there is some measure of compassion in the opinion you’re sharing. Rigidity leaves little room for discussion and exploration.

Levity - Where appropriate, make a joke, share a meme, craft a pun, tease them a little. Laughter is a shared experience that connects us.

Building

If someone seems positively engaged - leaning forward, making eye contact, coming closer to you for neurotypical people and actively engaging with the content of what you’re saying regardless of stims or eye contact for neurodivergent folks - I build on what we’re talking about. I self disclose my feelings and personal connections to the topic one step further than what the person I’m talking with has.

It’s important not to disclose a lot more than the person you’re talking with has. It leads to a vulnerability hangover for you and can be quite awkward and uncomfortable for them. If you disclose just a little more than the person you’re chatting with, then it’s much more easy to recover and match their level if they seem uncomfortable with what you shared.

Decision Tree

“What topic are we talking about currently?”

Me - Set expectations, share preferences; you focused

You - Understand you as you understand yourself; other person focused

Both - Connect over a shared language; idea focused

Neither - Connect over a shared exploration; idea focused

“What cues am I getting from the other person?”

If positive, build on current topic - be vulnerable

If neutral, match on current topic - be a FOOL*

If negative, pivot to a different topic - preferably neutral or in ratio**

*FOOL

Follow up questions - genuine curiousity - “I wonder…”

Observe - conversation, feelings, topic - “I noticed…”

Opinion - cautious, concise, compassionate - “I’ve often thought…”

Levity - make jokes, share memes - laughter connects

**Ratio

51% Both/Neither

<49% Me/You

[badaziraphaletakes]

can you please stop? screenshotting someone else’s post is extremely rude and only makes the fandom a worse place. talk about a bad take you saw, describe how it’s harmful, and vague all you want, but don’t screenshot. i agree that most of these takes are awful but that’s no excuse to do this to people. either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post. stop screenshotting, please.

Either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post.

The assumption that I didn’t try that is where you went wrong. I (mod X) started this blog only after I tried many, many times to confront people about their offensive takes directly and it didn’t work. I was subjected to appalling harassment and even bigotry. That’s what happens when you try to engage with someone who’s being offensive.

I had been throwing the idea around for weeks and what finally decided me on starting it was that I found out that I wasn't alone. That the anti-Autistic bias and the ableism and the transphobia and the victim-blaming and the misogyny (and on and on and on) that we kept seeing and being subjected to was ruining our enjoyment of this show. This was bigger than just me.

FTR, most of the takes that are submitted to us (note that I'll be switching between "I" and "we" in this reply depending on the context) don’t have a handle attached to them, but of the few that do include a handle, 99% of the time I have recognized it as someone who I have seen being so bigoted that there was no possible way I could engage with them. We don't confront people directly partly because we don't want to direct people who disagree back to the OP's blog, and partly to keep the mods safe.

You say “do this to people” like this blog is committing some kind of outrage, which is absurd. We are, at worst, being slightly rude (which I think is justified considering sarcasm and humor are one of the only weapons we have to fight back against hate), whereas most of the posts we comment on are outright hateful. They’re the ones “doing this to people”.

We are being far more considerate of the writers’ feelings and their dignity than they ever were of other people’s in the fandom. The takes are not just ‘awful’ (although, that too haha); they are actively harming vulnerable members of the fandom, and, more concerningly, are spreading messages that will poison our views on how we should treat Autistic people, ab*se survivors, and the like in broader society. Quite frankly, the people who are spouting the kind of anti-Autistic/ableist/victim-blaming/otherwise bigoted crap that forms the bulk of the content we feature here deserve to have their posts screenshotted. People who say things like that do not deserve to be handled with kid gloves in response.

(Also I don’t have time to re-type and slightly paraphrase every bad take I see. And if I did, people would throw out “no one is really saying this”. And even if it weren’t for that, I don’t think it’s reasonable or appropriate to expect me to use my time that way.)

Incidentally, nothing is stopping people from messaging/asking us or commenting if they recognize a post as their own, but only one person has ever done that, asking if a post was theirs. I replied that it was, leaving the ball in their court. So far we haven’t heard back from them about the matter, which is fine. But I digress.

As for this blog making the fandom a worse place - even though it’s only a few weeks old, I’ve had an average of two new people a day, every day, tell me how grateful they are I created it and how it makes them feel safe and how it’s the only reason they haven’t left the fandom. I’ve even had multiple people say “I was going to leave the fandom because of that specific post and then your blog called it out and I felt like I wasn’t alone”. So yeah, I'd say screenshotting is important here.

There is a subset of the fandom - many of us Autistic, Disabled, ab*se survivors, GNC, trans, and/or otherwise oppressed - who have been made to feel EXTRAORDINARILY unsafe by the Aziraphale hate (which far, far too often is thinly-veiled hate for some of the aforementioned groups of people) and the truly scary way people double down when we push back against it. So I don’t care if people are annoyed by my sharing a screenshot of their post. Not when this blog has become a safe space for so many people who otherwise would have had Good Omens ruined for them by the bigotry and general hatefulness we keep seeing.

LSS I will not stop building this tiny lil corner of the internet that is the only part of the fandom where many of us feel safe.

I actually made a post addressing almost this exact thing a couple weeks ago; if I can find it, I’ll add it here in a rb.

[freakenomenon]

Hi friend :] I want to understand Ellen as a character better and you seem to have a good grasp on her, so could I ask about your ideas for her? No pressure though either !

YOURE ASKING ME ABOUT MY IDEAS FOR ELLEN?? IVE WAITED YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME ABOUT MY IDEAS FOR ELLEN!!! /REF .. AGAIN

OKAY to start off. the biggest thing i noticed about her in particular that is pointed out better in the manual than it is displayed in the game is the fact she would rather run away or ignore a problem than actually deal with it and heal. and if you combine this with the fact she usually reacts to ( and CONFUSES ) her own fear with anger. or hostility.

stating herself that she hates crying because she knows she doesnt feel "sad" ,, she just wants to kicks someones ass. which is probably a trauma response. considering she grew up in a rather unsafe neighborhood, which resulted in the death of her brother and cousin. IM JUST RESTATING CANON HERE BUT MY POINT IS.

i feel like if in the game they reeled in the part of her character that is very clearly avoidant, distant and even frequently disassociative. they'd have. a character.

alongside the fact that it's implied she very clearly cannot grasp the concept of not being able to handle something. she's overcome almost everything in her life, but the moment she can't understand another humans feelings. or why another human would treat her the way. most of the people in her life have.

she's more familiar with algorithms than people after all. not to mention that nimdok ( ugh. ) says that ellen is honest to the point of being offensive. first of all fucking. Jesus autistic much. secondly this could also be due to her isolating herself and feeling more at home with her work and electronics than she is with people. a computer is easily fixable if she ends up fucking something up.

its not like you can remove a rom chip on a person and reprogram it to not feel insulted if you tell them they look like they have a dirty microwave. that is probably an oversimplification of my thoughts on that part, but you get the point.

now. to. just. get this part of her character out of the way. just. warning for mentions of rape , miscarriages and other nasty things ahead.

i am not saying that in the situation where someone were to rewrite the game. you have to completely remove the aspect of her being a victim of rape. i simply just think it could've been approached in a better way. as I've stated many times. personally i don't even know where to start with rewriting this aspect of her character??? the most i have is replacing the maintenance man with someone she might have known. just to add more to what I have. maybe a boss or coworker she was close with who exploited their position above her both in the workplace and within the more obvious racial bias of society at the time. using it against her as an excuse to break her boundaries, break down her defenses, and eventually take advantage of her. something like that. just so it has more of an impact on her as a whole, and make her relationship with intimacy and relationships with humans , platonic or not. more strained. having to scratch and fight with the core of her being that wants. and deserves proper intimacy and general care. to keep herself safe. to prevent herself from being violated like that again. her vulnerability is what caused her to end up in that spot. she cant let that happen again. she cant be a hopeless victim again. not again.

yknow because thats how trauma works. it actually effects the victims life in ways other than just ending up with fucked up trigger and a fucked up phobia. wow.

now to the other part of this. I'm. going to be so honest. I would just scrap the miscarriage stuff and the existence of eddie as a whole.

it's so meaningless and minuscule in her character that i bet my pinky toe that half the fandom would look at you like you just said something TED levels of crazy if you brought it up without further grueling context.

.. that's. actually all I've got for now if you trim off me just asking to further establish aspects of her character that i think are interesting. if you've got any questions ill be more than happy to answer! <3

[phoenixs-fandoms-and-writings]

Being Around You Makes Me Feel Better

Fandom: Harry Potter - Marauders Era

Pairing: James Potter/Reader

Character: James Potter

Summary: You have a bad day, where you hate yourself and the way you look. You sneak into James’ bed in his dorm and thats where he finds you and spends time trying to make you feel a bit better or at the very least forget for now.

Reader is autistic and so am I.

Notes: I don’t own Harry Potter or its characters. I also don’t believe JKR’s beliefs. This account is safe place for all.

I do not give permission to anyone to repost or translate any of my stories. I also do not give anyone permission to feed my stories through AI or to be posted to any third party website or app. If anyone sees any of my work posted anywhere but here or my AO3 (simplyreflected), then it has been posted without permission.

Posted on AO3 here.

You couldn’t help it. When everyone left for classes, you crept into the Marauders dorm and climbed into James’ bed. You stayed there all day. You felt safe surrounded by his scent and his things. You knew that he could always make you feel better, but you pulled the blankets up to your neck. That's where you stayed as you cried yourself to sleep.

You woke to the sound of the door opening and someone gasping. You didn’t care who it was, if they spoke to you, you’d just ask for James. You only wanted your best friend.

You didn’t hear the sounds of anyone approaching, but when you see them crouch down and see James himself in front of you, you whisper, “Jamie, you’re here.”

“Hey love,” he whispers back in response. He waves his wand and a glass of water appears in his hand. He hands it to you, and you drink it, before he waves it away as he looks at you sadly, “What’s wrong?”

“Jamie, I hate myself. I need you. Being around you makes me feel better.”

He smiled at you softly before he asked, “can I climb in with you?”

You hum in response as you open the blankets for him. You let go of them as he takes off his shoes and then climbs in next to you. He wraps the blanket around both of you, before he wraps his arms around you.

“Why do you hate yourself, love?”

“I feel fat. I look ugly. I can’t stand looking in the mirror. I don’t think anyone but you really likes me.”

“I need you to look at me, lovey,” James told you kindly, which made it hard to resist, you looked up at his beautiful and kind blue eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you didn’t lie about that. He was the only person you knew you could trust to tell you the truth, even on days like today, when you didn’t even trust yourself.

“Then trust me when I say this,” he tells you honestly as you look at different parts of his face; seeing his beauty, since looking in people’s eyes for too long would become uncomfortable. He didn’t mind and you knew that, as long as you listened. “You are the most beautiful person I know; inside and out. You may not believe it, but I’ll prove it and show you everyday, because I wish I could date someone like you.” He paused as you stopped looking at him and cuddled into him. “No, not someone like you. I wish I could have the courage when you’re not having a day like this, but I want to date you.”

“What about Lily?”, you whispered back.

“What about he-,” he cut himself off, before slowly saying, “I haven’t been flirting with her.” He kissed the top of your head. “I was flirting with you, but when they first asked me, I was embarrassed to say I was flirting with you. You were right there. I was worried you’d reject me and we’d go from being best friends to being awkward around each other to being people the other used to know.

“Jamie,” you knew he could hear the catch in your throat and that he’d probably realise you’d been crying, but they were no longer sad tears. “I’ve loved you since second year.”

He paused. “Really?”

You smiled and nodded, “yeah.” You paused cuddling into his warmth and yawned, lifting one of your hands to cover your mouth.

You listened as he told you, “I’ll spend the rest of my life showing and telling you how much I love you.”

You yawned again and he kissed the top of your head again, and rubbed your back as you whispered, “I love you, James.”

As you fell asleep, you could’ve sworn he whispered, “I love you too, angel.”

———————————

LATER THAT DAY

———————————

You woke up later that day still in James’ arms, with him holding you really close to him. One of his arms was rubbing your back gently and the other holding you as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

You hummed contentedly and James whispered, “Love, are you awake?”

You hummed again before yawning and then answered, “yeah, Jamie. Just woke up.”

“I have something I want to officially ask you,” he asked as you moved up slightly so the two of you were face to face.

You lifted your hand up to his cheek, he sighed and closed his eyes, “what is it?”

He opened his eyes, kissed your palm before asking, “I love you and from what you said before, you love me.” He paused and you nodded before he finally asked, “will you go out with me?”

Slowly you started smiling as you moved your hand down to his waist, hugging him, before you answered, “yes, I’d love to.”

You moved closer to him and pecked his lips.

“Do you feel any better now, my love?”

You looked at him as he cupped your cheek, closing your eyes and enjoying his touch. “Whenever you're around, I always feel better. I’m not back to 100% but you make me feel safe and you’ve always found a way to silence the voices. However, unlike today, it's usually your antics or the pranks that help to silence them enough that I stop paying attention to them as much.”

He smiled, before he moved closer, kissing you, with so much love and affection that you melted against him, before he pulled back.

“Are you hungry?”

You think for a moment before your stomach rumbles, answering for you.

He smiled before he kissed you. When he pulled back, he looked in your eyes, “I’ll go get us some food, my love. Is there anything specific that you’d like?”

You told him what you felt like eating and he smiled, before he said, “I’ll be back soon. Wait here?”

“Where else would I want to be?”

He gave you a peck on the cheek before he left, which made you blush. When he came back, he sat next to you before calling one of the house elves, who appeared with trays of food which slowly levitated over to the bed.

Both of you thanked the house elf before they disappeared.

He smiled at you before he leaned over to give you a quick kiss. The two of you ate and just spent the rest of the evening together.

Even when the rest of the guys came in, he just held you close as he talked to them. You joined in the conversation at times, and they were just as happy as always to see you.

That was one thing you loved about his friends; even before you became friends with them, they always included you when you were with James. All of them made you feel welcomed. With that thought, you turned and kissed James’ cheek and snuggled more into his side.

[janmisali]

been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/756204827274625025/ive-had-to-deal-with-people-in-a-couple-of-my?source=share

the person who compared this situation to an abuser threatening suicide might be being ridiculous, but there is a similarity in terms of that you can't use your psychological issues to just treat people like crap. and i've seen so many communities go through this, and i think people tempted to make excuses for this sort of thing need to look up that essay about the "missing stair."

your mental health issues are not your fault but they are your responsibility, and they are not the responsibility of a bunch of people in a discord chat. and if you have particular situations that tend to trip your triggers, it is on you to try to avoid those, rather than demand that people can't, say, disagree or debate with you in the POLITICS chat even when you say factually inaccurate shit because disagreement "triggers" you. if I were that way, I would not go into a politics chat. (this is a real example and this person ignored repeated suggestions that she stop going into debatey channels if it triggered her. the mods eventually had to ban her from the politics channel.)

as others have said in the replies too, I also think people ignore how this stuff is often deliberately manipulative, even with people who are legitimately troubled, where they still learn that claiming "triggered" is a great way to shut down conversations and make yourself into the victim. i've seen people repeatedly deliberately stir the pot and then cry "triggers" when it had the expected result. i've seen people use it as a get-out-of-jail-free card for racist or misogynistic behavior or microaggressions - now i can declare that this poc getting mad at me for racism or woman getting mad at me for misogyny is actually a mean ableist for yelling at me when I'm triggered! reverse card! now i get to be the victim now!

but overall, there's a difference between "expecting everyone in your chat get therapy before they can join" like someone tried to suggest in reblogs, vs. "telling people to stop using random internet strangers to replace therapy / making their mental health issues other people's problem / taking zero responsibility for their own internet experience in a way that makes everyone else miserable." most of the spaces i've been in like this are full of people with mental illnesses and neurodivergences, like you said in your initial response. (there's also a convo here about the weird way the internet seems to think only "bawww cry" responses are neurodivergent but "angry and defensive" are not, never mind that being a lot more stereotypical for say autistic people. i think especially in heavily afab spaces, it often dovetails with misogyny, an inherent distrust of women who react in more stereotypically "masculine" ways.) none require that nobody have issues or ask for support. but there's a difference between that and expecting the server to be your therapist. as well as just like, expecting people to somehow read your mind and recognize which otherwise innocuous behaviors will trigger you!

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