#and if you’ve been following me since 2020 you may know just how invested I got in that series

[qazastra]

only about ten more episodes of word of honor left

if anyone wants to talk about it my dms and asks are open I feel a liiiiiitle bit crazy tbh

[millllenniawrites]

enchanted (Poe Dameron x Reader)

part one of dear love of mine

summary: The last thing you wanted was to fall in love. That was your sisters’ job, to marry and have a small army of children for your mother to dote on. But when the man courting your eldest sister brings a mysterious guest to stay with your family for the summer, you may not have a say in the matter.

words: 1.5k

warnings: afab!reader; reader has a last name; regency au for the aesthetic but it’s historically inaccurate for the *vibes*; slow burn; sexual themes throughout; eventual smut; warnings will be added as the series progresses

a/n: the series i’ve been talking about for months is finally here!! Totally was supposed to post this yesterday but I forgot. I started outlining this after reading @writefightandflightclub ’s Regency Femdom Week 2020 fic Of Rears and Vices and watching Bridgerton was like taking steroids so here you go!! I haven’t done an actual series in a long time so i’m super stoked about this whole thang. this is a short chapter cause I want you guys to get to know the universe and the characters but the next few are gonna take some time because they are long bois 

__

You sat at the window, looking down at the long drive that led up to your estate. Lord Barnes was supposed to arrive before lunch and, though your stomach rumbled, you didn’t take your eyes off the horizon.

“You’re almost more nervous than I am.” Ana called.

You blinked quickly to allow your eyes a moment to adjust from the bright light outside to the dim interior of her room. Your sister stood in the doorway, her hair glinting in the sunlight. Her blue dress complimented her features and, even without the sun, you were sure she would have been glowing.

“You remember that I’m the one he’s courting, right?” Her slippered feet whispered against the floor as she crossed the room, hopping up into the window seat across from you.

“Of course I remember.” You flailed your leg out, striking her in the shin with your foot. “It’s only the happiest day of my dear sister’s life.”

She tossed a scrap of paper into your lap. On it, scrawled in a neat print, was yet another declaration of love from the strapping Lord Barnes for your sister.

You read aloud, “My dearest, Ana, how I do miss your gaze. The stars here are truly incomparable, having seen your eyes— Is this what men think is charming?!”

She snatched the paper from your hands. “I think it’s charming!”

As you laughed, you snorted, sending her into a fit of giggles right alongside you.

“I really do think he’s going to propose this time, Ana. And you know I’m happy for you.”

The summer prior, Lord Barnes had been in town on business, settling assets after the tragic death of his father. To distract himself from his mourning, he had begun going door to door, learning the names of the people who lived in the county he had so suddenly inherited.

Ana had not stopped talking about him since and, if his letters were any indication, he was just as charmed as she was.

“Of course I know that.” She turned around, flopping herself back into your lap. “You also know that by my marrying Lord Barnes, I’m helping you secure a suitable match.”

“A suitable match!” You couldn’t help but laugh again. “For Siena, yes. For me?”

“You cannot keep your nose in those books forever! I cannot let you. Don’t you think you’ll get lonely in this big house all by yourself?”

“A marriage would simply hand over our family’s legacy to whatever man decided to sign the papers. I do not think that is what Father would have wanted.”

She rested her elbows on your legs and leaned her chin onto her palms. “I think Father would have wanted you to be happy.”

With a roll of your eyes, you shoved your poor sister out of your lap and onto the floor. She landed with a soft grunt and a flurry of skirts and immediately tried to clamber back into your arms.

Ana loved to remind you that you would be tasked with taking care of the family property once your mother passed. She had seen it as such a burden that, even as the eldest of three girls, your parents had decided she could pass on the responsibility. Siena, the youngest of the three Dean daughters, was just as enamoured with the idea of marriage as Ana was, so the future of the estate had passed to you without complaint. Their wish was to be romanced and married. Yours was stability. And with your father gone, your mother wasn’t about to keep any of you from your true wishes.

Siena was in her room, no doubt pruning and prepping for the arrival of Lord Barnes — it didn’t matter that she wasn’t the sister he was coming to visit, she had reminded you —  and you did miss her presence as you and Ana shoved at each other and grappled for her letter. It was moments like this was you cherished, knowing that soon, handsome men would arrive and sweep your sisters away. Your house would be left empty of two of the most precious things you had ever beholden.

“Girls!” Your mother shouted, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You and Ana squished yourself together in the window seat. A dark carriage had begun it’s way up your drive.

“Girls!” She shouted again. “Come down here!”

You and Ana raced out of her bedroom and down the long staircase. Both out of breath by the time you reached the bottom, you clutched each other.

Your mother and Siena stood side by side, their arms crossed. They were mirrors of each other, their coiled hair pinned into place and eyebrows furrowed in distaste.

Siena turned her nose up at your giggling, but you could see a glint of playfulness in her eye. Though she tried to appear sophisticated, her twelve-year-old spirit wasn’t easily quelled, much to your mother’s dismay.

“Are you sure you’re ready to get married, sister?” Siena’s voice was soft, more like silk than sound.

“He hasn’t proposed yet. You needn’t be so serious.” She skated over to Siena and wrapped her arms around her sister’s middle, swinging her around.

“And when the Lord Barnes proposes, Ana will be quick to get ready. Just you watch.” Your mother winked at you before grabbing Ana’s arm, pulling her off Siena. “They are about to arrive. Go look presentable.” She shooed both your sisters towards the front doors before limping along behind them.

Mister Kirk, your family’s butler, stood off to one side. He was a thin man, the grey hair atop his head so thick that it looked as thought he might topple over at a moment’s notice.

You nodded your head to him. “Thank you for the work you’ve done setting up for our guest, Mr. Kirk.”

“It is my job, Miss Dean.” He said softly. Your sisters would have teased you about the fondness in Mister Kirk’s face had they been there, but the opening of the front doors had thoroughly distracted them. “And it is guests, Miss. More than just Lord Barnes is set to join us for the summer.”

You cocked your head but didn’t dare say more. It must have been a new development. Why else would your mother not share this with you?

You didn’t wait for Mister Kirk to elaborate, heading towards the open doors of your home.

The carriage pulled up right in front of the steps. A footman hopped down from the back of the carriage, setting a stool out before opening the door.

Lord Finneas Barnes stepped out of his carriage, grinning up at your family. “Hello Ladies Dean!” He called, waving grandly.

You all curtsied, a chorus of ‘Hello Lord Barnes’ causing his smile to widen further. “There’s no need for the formalities. Please. Call me Finn.”

Everything about him was refined, down to the buckles of his shoes. His dark hair had been done in waves, tight to his head, giving him the impression of wearing a crown. And he walked like it. His smile was sweet, but everything else about him oozed boldness and masculinity.

You could have sworn Ana nearly swooned beside you. A curious mischief glittered behind her eyes.

When you looked back to the carriage, another figure was stepping through the door.

The stranger tossed his head, his thick curls bouncing back away from his eyes to reveal his sharp features. He was dressed in blue, clearly a military uniform. Various pins on the front of his coat winked in the sunlight. His dark eyes quickly took in your family waiting on the steps and his dark eyes stalled when he reached you. Mouth quirking in a slight smile that had your heart racing, his gaze passed on.

The two men ascended the steps. Your mother curtsied again, the rest of you following behind her.

You could not take your eyes off the mysterious gentleman.

“This is General Dameron, I presume?” Your mother asked.

“The one and only,” Lord Barnes boasted, clapping the gentleman — General Dameron — on the back.

The General bowed. “Thank you for hosting us while the Barnes estate is renovated, Lady Dean. Your invitation for me to join Finn here was the best surprise I’ve had since the Coast.”

The Coast. You vaguely remembered hearing about the war from the girls in town last summer. They’d had brothers and fathers go to fight — and come back victorious, if your memory served you — but as your household was of only girls, you hadn’t been particularly invested in the news of battles that did not impact your family.

“It’s not a problem.” You heard your mother say.

Ana griped your arm, viciously whispering, “He’s quite handsome,” before dragging you back into the house.

You glanced back over your shoulder at the General and your mother politely discussing something — the topic of conversation could have been the weather for all you heard of it. It was as if your ears had been stuffed with cotton.

The General’s dark eyes met yours again and your breath caught. You tore your gaze away, snapping your head around to face forward.

It would be the last you’d see of him for the rest of the day.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s Tender Regards Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date (心意之约) which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

[ This date was released in CN on 16 Sep 2020 ]

Dedicating this translation to @kshiro​ for her constant, wholesome support since the early days of this blog ❤️

The date begins with MC in the office on a summer afternoon, musing over the “Snail Mail” collaboration event officially commencing the next day

She finds the name of the company very familiar, but she just can’t remember why

After ending a call with Anna (who reveals that the event would be taking place in the same camellia garden as the one in Maze Date), she receives a message from Victor, who invites her to dinner

She heads over to the camellia garden, and spots a familiar figure:

Under the eaves not too far away, Victor is wearing a black shirt, facing the curtain of rain as though in a trance.

Water droplets follow the branches which curl around the carved balustrades. He lifts his head slightly, and his expression is nonchalant.

We’re separated by some distance, so I can’t clearly identify the flowers in the bouquet he’s holding. I can only see his handsome chin. 

All of a sudden, he lifts his other hand gently. A water droplet pelts onto his palm, as though pulling him into the pattering rain. 

Seeing this, I find myself subconsciously frozen in place.

Because of the enshrouding misty rain, the Victor before me appears warmer and more tender than usual.

Taking a deep breath, an idea surfaces in my mind. I blink slyly, then deliberately lower my umbrella.

I brisk walk across the puddles towards the stairs, covering myself with the umbrella, attempting to furtively skirt behind Victor--

Victor: What smart idea have you come up with this time?

MC: ...!

My eyes widen in shock. Victor stands in front of the stairs. The moment our eyes meet, resignation flashes across his face, and also a hint of mischievousness. 

Victor: Is it very shocking for me to recognise you?

MC: I thought you were in a daze...

Victor: I was at first. But someone’s “style” is just too unique, and I couldn’t ignore it even if I wanted to. 

While he speaks, a smile appears on Victor lips, and his eyebrows rise slightly.

MC: Yes yes yes, my “smart idea” is too childish.

With this proximity, I can finally see the bouquet in his hand clearly: pink camellia flowers which are in full bloom.

[Trivia] Pink camellias symbolise longing, desire, and unreserved love

MC: Are these flowers from the camellia garden? It’s so rare to see CEO Victor with a bouquet! Looks like your plans for this afternoon are very important.

While glancing at him, I raise my volume, deliberately adopting an official yet curious tone.

MC: I wonder who’s the lucky person to receive flowers from CEO Victor? 

You thought Victor would counter with a “childish”, but all he does is hang a faint smile on his lips, quietly listening to everything I say.

Victor: I have nothing much in the afternoon. Though I have plans in the evening.

In the next second, the flowers are handed to me. Standing against the backdrop of the misty rain, Victor’s expression exudes tenderness. 

Victor: I prepared this for a certain dummy.

Accepting the flowers, I burst into a grin.

MC: Come to think of it, what are you doing here? Are you looking for Curator Kim?

Victor brushes off the water droplets on my shoulder. Instead of giving me an answer, he tilts his head upwards and responds with a question.

Victor: Are you here at this time for the “Snail Mail” event?

MC: Mm. The event will officially begin tomorrow, so I’m here to check up on this place again.

Victor: Looks like you’ve been listening to what I say. At least in work, you’ve become more conscientious. Not bad. It’s a good thing.

I straighten up, eyes crinkling as I respond.

MC: Of course! I’ve always been a very serious and responsible producer. 

I place a lot of emphasis on the word “always”, and mirth appears in Victor’s eyes. 

Victor: Let’s go then. I have some time, so I’ll accompany you to have a look. And also see if there’s a correlation between the state of the venue and your self-praise. 

They take a look around the garden, and Victor’s gaze lingers on mailboxes on the wall at the back:

Everyone who sends Future Mail can write down the exact time they wish for it to be sent - whether it be a month later, a year later, or five years later.

The staff would then add a heart-shaped postmark. After slipping it into the mailbox, it’d be considered as sending a “gift to the future”.

On the wall behind the mailboxes, numerous stamps form the words “Snail Mail”, as well as the small words on the bottom right: A gift to the future. 

Noticing Victor’s gaze, I move closer to him with a joyful smile.

MC: Don’t you find the name of the theme very creative? 

Victor: “A gift to the future”... did you come up with this?

My eyes light up, and I nod quickly.

Victor: I could tell it was your style the moment I heard it - flashy and without substance. 

MC: ...how is it flashy and without substance? 

MC: Do you still remember the special episode on “Feelings” from before? Actually, this theme was inspired by that episode. Giving gifts is a common way to express how one feels. But it’s not that easy to send a gift to the future. With Future Mail, the sender can convey their feelings and surprises in this gift to the other party across time. 

Victor is silent for a while, an unreadable depth in his eyes. 

Victor: ...I see. I can more or less understand today’s Future Mail.

MC: Huh? 

I furrow my brows. Before I can clarify what he means, Victor has already walked closer to the wall, pointing at the words formed by the stamps. 

Victor: Why did you use stamps to form the words? 

MC: To complement the idea of “Future Mail”. Even though few people use stamps nowadays, I feel they better convey the idea of sending something. For example, this one! It might look unremarkable, but its journey is hardly normal.

I raise my head, pointing to a stamp at the corner with slightly yellowed edges.

MC: In a time before the development of communication technology, an elderly man, who was still a young boy at the time, pasted this stamp on a letter and sent it out. 

MC: By the time the letter reached its destination, the elderly man had already proposed to the elderly woman. Because it was lost, it took a whole two years for the letter to arrive... 

MC: Back then, the elderly man would never have guessed that this letter would go through an unexpected turn of events to become a gift to the future. 

MC: How does that sound - from its form to its stories, they all tally with the theme of the event, don’t they?

Victor: The creativity is satisfactory. You did a lot of homework. No wonder you have the confidence to praise yourself.

Gaining his affirmation, satisfaction bubbles in my heart. Pulling on his hand, we walk to a table at a corner. 

MC: If we’re talking about creativity, it doesn’t stop at the words formed using stamps!

Victor picks up the small, red lacquered crescent-shaped block, holding it on his palm.

Victor: You’re referring to this?

MC: Mm, poe divination is definitely considered creative! 

[Trivia] Poe divination is a traditional Chinese divination method where a pair of crescent-shaped wooden or bamboo blocks is thrown on the ground, with the positions of the blocks determining the divine answer

Clearing my throat, I use my most serious and stern expression to explain this “creativity”

MC: After all, it’s sent to a future which is filled with uncertainty. So people will definitely struggle in deciding if they should send such a gift. At this point, the poe divination blocks will contain the answer.

Victor suddenly leans a little closer, tapping my forehead with a bent finger.

Victor: Are you sure you didn’t prepare it just because you like it?

MC: ...

MC: When faced with unknown circumstances and being unable to make a decision, many people will wish to borrow some help from “fate’s direction”.

MC: It’s been statistically proven!

Victor: ...you always have a reason for everything.

A gust of wind carrying water droplets courses in through the window. Victor turns his head to gaze outside the window. Beside the enclosed corridor, a small candy coloured shed is concealed behind the trees.

Victor: Is that shed also part of this “creativity”?

MC: Not only that. It’s the “secret weapon” of this event - a shed for Future Mail videos!

Victor ponders for a moment. 

Victor: From what I understand from the words, it’s a gift where videos are sent at a scheduled time?

MC: That’s right. Even though letters and objects are more ceremonial in nature, videos could be even more vivid and interesting.

I suddenly think of something while speaking, and grip his sleeve.

MC: Victor, why don’t we give it a try first? I haven’t officially seen how a recording would look like. 

Right after I finish speaking, Victor tilts his face downwards, his lips pursed together slightly. Seeing his expression, the answer I predicted is readied--

Victor: I’m not interested.

...as expected.

MC: Just a short two minutes of recording will do... it’s so meaningful!

I attempt to canvass my explanation. Before I can weave together what I prepared, a stranger’s voice pipes up.

Staff: Hello, may I know if you’re Miss MC? 

Before us stands a young man who is dressed in the attire of an employee of the garden.

MC: I am. Is something the matter? 

Staff: That’s great. We just discovered that there seems to be a few more decorations. Could you come take a look? 

MC: Sure, I’ll be there immediately!

Watching as I immediately become enlivened, Victor speaks faintly. 

Victor: I can see that you’re very invested in this event.

MC: As long as I’m doing something, I’ll give it my all. You were the one who taught me this.

I tilt my head cheekily, but Victor looks as though he’s deep in thought. 

Victor: So... the reason why you took up this “Snail Mail” event was simply because of the program?

MC: Yes... should there be another reason? 

Staring at him a little blankly, I have no idea what it could be. 

Victor: Nothing. You should go ahead. 

I walk towards the door, but hesitate and swivel my head around because of his words. Seeing that Victor is remaining silent, I turn back, deciding to complete the work on hand first. 

Watching the girl’s back as she runs off, Victor’s gaze returns to the small shed not afar off. Mottled lights are cast onto his face, and his expression can’t be seen clearly.

After a while, he turns and walks towards the small shed. 

-

By the time they leave the camellia garden, evening has begun to set in and the rain has stopped

MC thought Victor would bring her to Souvenir for dinner, but the car stops at his house instead

Thinking of how I’d get to enjoy Chef Victor’s “special dinner”, I place the bouquet on the coffee table and happily plop myself onto the sofa. 

MC: Huff... I can finally have dinner. What should I order... With so many things I want to eat, it’s suddenly a little perplexing.

Seeing my slightly sly smile, Victor tosses a sweeping glance at me, then sits on the sofa as well.

Victor: Take your time to decide. 

Victor: First, come here. Look at this. I received this in the morning.

From a gift box at the corner of the coffee table, Victor retrieves a sheet of paper which resembles an envelope. On the back of it, I think I see--

A heart-shaped postmark?!

I hurriedly straighten up, wanting to grab it from Victor’s hand. Apart from the letter, there seems to be an exquisite-looking, petite bottle...

MC: ...camellia essential oil? 

The words slip out of my mouth.

After Victor and I visited the maze in the camellia garden back then, the staff gave us a bottle of camellia essential oil which was made in the garden.

As pre-opening guests, Victor and I were the first to walk out of the maze. And this bottle of essential oil was also their first unique gift.

This unique prize seemed to be telling me that no matter which direction I choose, as long as I keep moving forward, I’ll definitely be on the same path as Victor in the end.

Back then, I had “monopolised” this bottle of essential oil, which carried the sentiments I couldn’t say aloud. 

MC: I remember hiding this bottle of essential oil once I got home. Why is it with you?

Victor: Are you sure? Think through it again. 

Sensing Victor’s deep gaze, a forgotten memory surfaces in my mind...

[ flashback ]

A while after parting with Victor, a small shop brimming with warmth comes into view. 

MC: “Snail Mail”... what does this mean?”

Filled with curiosity, I push the doors open and enter. With the staff’s explanation, I finally get the meaning of this shop’s Future Mail.

MC: It sounds really interesting - I’ll send him a gift then! What should I send? 

Biting the pen cap, I stare at the white letter paper and suddenly see the bottle of essential oil, which is still causing undulating emotions in my heart...

[ end of flashback ]

Victor: Looks like you remember now. 

When the faraway memory returns, I suddenly understand what Victor was referring to when he said “I see” after I had explained the theme earlier in the afternoon.

The sky gradually clears up after the rain, and the corners of Victor’s lips seem to be dyed with the warmth of sunset. He looks at the letter in his hand.

Victor: “To a certain ‘CEO Victor’ who always surprises me.”

Without warning, Victor actually starts reading out the contents of the letter! I subconsciously try to stop him.

MC: You’re not allowed to read it out!

As though he didn’t hear my objection, Victor continues reading in a composed manner. 

Victor: “Even though you’re taciturn most of the time, and love criticising me mercilessly, you always bring me unexpected hope whenever I'm at my wit’s end...”

Hearing Victor’s unchanging tone of voice, this somewhat “public confession” causes me to turn completely red in the face. 

MC: S-stop reading it!

I reach out to snatch the letter, but Victor simply raises his long arm, easily lifting it out of reach.

Victor: It’s a letter you wrote yourself. Why aren’t you letting me read it? 

MC: ...just give it back to me!

Seizing an opening, I pounce forward fiercely, but am still not as fast as his sharp eyes and deft hands.

Abruptly losing my balance and slipping on my feet, I stumble towards Victor. Instinctively, I reach out to grab something to stabilise myself-- 

Rip--

Accompanying a soft sound, a button ends up in my hand. I lift my head in astonishment, only to be greeted by Victor’s suddenly loosened tie and bare skin...

It turns out that I accidentally tore off the button near his neckline!

Glancing at his chest, I subconsciously swallow the words I was planning to say. I stuff the button into his hand, then quietly huddle in a corner. 

MC: ...here, the button.

Victor: Looks to me like the state of your cerebellum deserves to be re-assessed. 

[Trivia] The cerebellum is the part of the brain responsible for a number of functions including motor skills such as balance, coordination, and posture :’D

MC: I didn’t do it on purpose!

MC: It’s your fault for reading the letter aloud. 

Victor: Sophistry.

Thinking that Victor would continue with his criticisms, he unexpectedly sets the letter down, then retrieves the essential oil in the box. 

Victor: Not reading the letter is fine. Tell me - why did you send this bottle of essential oil to me using Future Mail? 

Victor turns his head towards a still-blushing me, as he unhurriedly tugs his neckline closed. I take the unopened bottle from him, and give it some thought. 

MC: I didn't put in much thought back then. I was really happy when we were at the camellia garden together... 

MC: And this bottle of essential oil seemed to be telling me-- 

MC: That no matter which direction I choose, you’ll definitely be the first, and the only person to walk the same path with me. 

MC: The reason why I sent it using Future Mail was so that you’d re-experience the beautiful memories I did after a period of time, and feel how I felt.

After hearing this, Victor’s brows soften, and he looks to be in a pretty good mood. 

Opening the bottle, I take a whiff. Even after such a long time, the fragrance of camellias is still clear and refreshing.

MC: Does essential oil have such a long shelf life? It’s not spoilt at all! Take a whiff - isn’t it still very fragrant?

Watching him arch his brows in objection, I purse my lips. Something occurs to me, and my eyes crinkle as I hold the bottle in front of him. 

MC: Why don’t I sacrifice myself for a while! I’ve been so busy with this event that my neck and shoulders are sore. I wonder if I have the honour of troubling CEO Victor to give me a shoulder rub? We could also test if the essential oil is still effective.

Victor doesn’t take it, but shifts his gaze towards me. 

Victor: ...you’re ordering me to give you a massage? The reason you found was very pompous. Are you sure you’re sacrificing yourself? 

I smile, ignoring his protests and stuffing the bottle into his hands. Then, I lift my hair up, turning to the side to signal that he should hurry up. 

A while later, along with a sigh, the cooling liquid is gently dripped onto my neck region. 

Victor: You’re sitting so far away. It’s not my problem if its effectiveness is compromised.

I immediately scoot backwards, shifting slightly closer to him. Victor laughs like he’s in a good mood, gently encircling me into his chest. 

Separated by the thin, see-through gauze material of my clothes, it’s as though his hand is directly on my skin, soaking it with the warmth of his palm. I subconsciously hold my breath.

Victor: Is this the place which feels uncomfortable? 

MC: A little more to the left. 

Victor: Here? 

MC: Mm... around there. 

Just as I prepare to doze off and properly enjoy this experience, the soft fingers suddenly move away. Victor shifts slightly, leaning close to my neck.

The searing breaths from his nose course through the air, descending on the nape of my neck like the quivering wings of a cicada. It feels warm and ticklish. 

Victor: The fragrance isn’t bad. Looks like it still has effectiveness. 

His baritone voice comes from behind me. He sets down the bottle, and finally kneads my neck gently.

Without realising it, the afterglow of dusk breaks through the earlier overcast, casting golden light spots across the bright and spacious living room.

Victor’s hand is still around my waist, and I relax, resting against his shoulder. 

On the coffee table, the shadow cast by the bottle is drawn out by the setting sun. Looking at the bouquet of camellias and thinking about the chance encounter in the afternoon, my heart suddenly stirs. 

MC: Victor, the reason you were there today... Was it because you received the gift, thought about how we went to the camellia garden before, and wanted to revisit it?

Victor: You’ve finally come around.

My lips curl up in satisfaction.

MC: When you first received the gift, did you feel astonished, surprised, and touched?

Victor: ...I received your fevered imagination. 

Victor: But I was slightly touched. 

Victor: Just like what you said in the afternoon, this gift cut across time and awakened past memories and feelings. 

I lift my head. The world before me has shrunk infinitely, and can only accommodate his smiling eyes, and the tiny me reflected in them.

With such close proximity, the surroundings seem to be dyed with Victor’s unique scent, causing my heart to feel warm and contented.

Victor: Although Future Mail is uncommon, whether it’s Future Mail or express mail, they are all just mediums. 

Victor: The feelings they contain - that's the important thing. 

Victor: This unexpected gift... just like what you intended when you sent it, enables me to sense your feelings.

Victor: To me, that is its significance.

I blink, smiling with great happiness. 

MC: Come to think of it, I also want to receive the feelings given to me from someone...

As the colours of the afterglow grow heavier, Victor’s side profile is layered with a soft halo.

Just when I think he has nothing more to say, Victor’s lips curve into a smile.

Victor: Perhaps you can look forward to it. 

MC: Hm? Look forward to what? 

With this, he stands up and heads into the kitchen. No matter how much I probe, he remains indifferent. Resigned, I have no choice but to give up.

The faint yellow light of the kitchen illuminates Victor’s shoulders. Basking in the warm halo, the air surrounding him is especially tender. 

-

A month passes by quickly, and the Future Mail event is completed successfully.

On this early morning, I suddenly receive a package. When I remove the plastic covering, there’s an envelope with a heart-shaped postmark on top of the gift box. 

My heartbeat stutters out of rhythm.

Carefully opening the box, I see a videotape and a photograph. Picking up the photograph, I’m greeted by familiar, bold handwriting:

“Looks like you should have received this Future Mail. Apart from supporting your event, I’m only going to do this once. This will not be repeated. The things I want to say to you are all in this videotape. It only belongs to you.”

Morning sunlight filters in through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom floor, and also gently illuminating my heart...

-

Calls: First // Second

[tea-with-veth]

Hi guys, welcome to the first edition of The Tea Party, where I interview authors from the Minecraft Youtube fandom! Today’s guest is @squishyyyghost on Tumblr also known as  Ship_On_The_Sea on ao3 and Wattpad!

Tell us a bit about yourself! 

Well, my name really depends on who you know me as. Normally, I'm Squish, but people who know me for my dnf fics will recognize me as Ship. I go by she/they pronouns, and I'm most known for my dnf fics, notably 7 Minutes in Heaven, but it's 7 Days in Florida.

How'd you end up getting into the mcyt fandom?

Well, to be honest, I've been watching Minecraft Youtubers since about 2013; some of the first channels I subscribed to were actually Minecraft channels, believe it or not. The first fanfic I ever read was actually about mcyters. Despite that, I wasn't in the fandom then, I didn't even know what fandoms were back then. I think that honestly, I got into the mcyt fandom during the summer of 2020 after seeing a bunch of mcyters get recommended on my Youtube homepage and becoming invested in them, which led to me finding out about the mcyt fandom on Tumblr.

And then you started writing fics around the same time?

Not immediately. I got into a bunch around maybe April/May but didn't start writing fics until I got into the dream team at the end of May/early June.

What has been, in your opinion, one of the most rewarding things about writing for this fandom?

Well, I can think of two things, really. One is that this has been a great way for me to just write because I love doing it so much. The second is all of the positive feedback everyone leaves, it's been nothing like I've ever seen before. It's just incredible. I remember when I posted my first fic, I was so nervous but I was met with so much support even then. I think that honestly, the biggest reason I was able to write 7 Days to completion was because of all the support I was receiving from it since day 1 (both figuratively and in reference to the fic's chapter titles lmao). 

Okay, random question time: favorite flavor of tea? 

I... fam, I'm from the South- the only tea I've ever drunk has been iced and sweetened with sugar. My favorite drink is apple or grape juice though. My girlfriend loves tea though, I'm definitely going to try some when we meet up. We actually met bc of this fandom. She read 7 Days and followed me on Tumblr, and I recognized her Tumblr url from my ao3 comments and messaged her because I wanted to be friends, and it just kinda went from there. We just celebrated 6 months yesterday actually!

Congratulations! Speaking of your writing, is there something you've written that you'd like more people to read?

I feel like most of the oneshots I publish kinda fly under the radar for everyone because I think people just know me for 7 Days and don't realize I have other works, which is understandable. 

How long have you been doing creative writing, not just in the mcyt fandom? 

I started writing fics around 2016 because of a fandom I joined, so it's been almost five years of writing. Five years and I only have one completed fic, so it just kinda shows just how hard it has been for me to keep myself motivated. 

I've written so many oneshots though. I wish I didn't delete my other Wattpad account that had my writings from that fandom, I think the oneshot book I had for it had roughly 50 oneshots that were written over the span of about two years

Holy cow, that's a lot of words.

Definitely. I mean right now with my 19 fics on ao3 I have a collective word count of 86,448 words. 

Random fun fact, my fic "Thunder Singing Lullabies" was inspired  by one of the oneshots in the collection, the title of the original oneshot was actually "Sick Stormy Mornings."

Alright, we're almost done! Any parting thoughts/shoutouts?

Shout-out to my second home, SimpHous! Also please continue supporting us writers/artists, it's practically the fuel that keeps us going, lmao. 

You can find Squish’s writing at Ship_On_The_Sea. And as always, if you have suggestions for The Tea Party, including authors you’d like to see interviewed, let me know! Thank you, everyone, and have a lovely day! 

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020 Year in Thirst Pt. 2

Sometimes, I will watch a drama for the plot/premise/substance and be rewarded with a surprise hottie, and it’s the best feeling ever!  It’s like finding money in your pocket that you didn’t know about.  The following list of dramas can be described as:

Came for the plot, was rewarded with a surprising side of thirst

1. Flower of Evil

Brief Summary: Lee Jun Ki plays Baek Hee Sung and Moon Chae Won plays Cha Ji Won, his wife who is also a detective.  What Ji Won doesn’t know is that her husband, Hee Sung, is actually Hyun Soo, a man on the run from a murder that he did not commit and also a suspected accomplice to a series of murders committed by his father in the past.  Oh yeah, his dad secretly tried to groom him into being his protege/murder partner.  Because of how he was raised, HS believes that he has no emotions and is simply putting on an act as the perfect husband and father.  His “parents” are in on the ruse and are actually the ones who forced him into assuming their comatose son’s identity.  Anyway, of course things from the past start to catch up with HS and his wife is somehow assigned to investigating his old murder case.  She of course feels betrayed, but also conflicted as she discovers her husband is not who he said he was and a prime murder suspect.  Things get even more complicated as the real murderer re-appears with fabulous long hair and tries to frame HS for the murders.  In between all of this are delicious make outs between the couple and at least one instance where they banged so hard, HS was wiped out the next morning.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I checked out this drama fully expecting to drop it because the promos were so misleading and unappealing. But boy was I in for a pleasant surprise!  Not only was the drama super addicting, it also had some nice eye candy in the form of Lee Jun Ki being a completely unrealistic house husband who satisfies in the housework (The man cooks and does the laundry!), childcare, and bedroom and Kim Ji Hoon’s glorious mane of beauty making viewers have a moral crisis over lusting after a homicidal maniac (who turned out to be a real loser without murder daddy around to clean up his mess.  It’s ok, we’ll always have his hair).

Yes, work that hair honey.  It’s the only good thing you’ve got going on for you (the character, not Kim Ji Hoon)

The chemistry between Lee Jun Ki and Moon Chae Won was fire and the make out scenes were soo believable.  Like yes, these two beautiful people are really into being married to each other and understandably want to make out all the time. 

He’s the primary caretaker for their daughter and it’s just *swoons.*  Not all thirst traps come in the form of sexy abs (although I would not mind if he wanted to flash some).

2. Six Flying Dragons

Brief Summary: The story of young Yi Bang Won (who later becomes King Taejong) and the founding of the Joseon Dynasty.  As short as it sounds, that really is an accurate summary of the drama haha.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I started watching this drama because I heard it was a great sageuk and I’m a big fan of Yoo Ah In.  Even though I’m a fan of his acting, Yoo Ah In doesn’t necessarily get my hormones raging so I wasn’t expecting to be so thirsty while watching Six Flying Dragons.  But then.  BUT THEN.  Byun Yo Han showed up in all his scruffy tortured deadly killer glory and my hormones woke up and said hi, hello, who are you, what’s your name, what’s your sign, can I get your number?  The deadlier and more tortured his character got, the sexier he became to me.  Sorry Yoo Ah In, you’ll always be my acting boo, but Byun Yo Han’s got my thirst.  Byun Yo Han looks so good when he's sad and/or covered in blood, it makes me feel like a sadist for thinking that I wouldn’t mind if the drama made his character cry some more.

3. Ever Night S1

Brief Summary: As a child, Ning Que witnessed his entire household get massacred because of a prophecy that the child of Hades will be born from the house and bring about the Eternal Night.  Somehow, he managed to escape and was the lone survivor.  He finds a baby buried in a pile of dead bodies as he’s fleeing and names her Sang Sang.  The two orphans grow up inseparable from each other and do whatever it takes to survive in the harsh, cruel world.  Ning Que earns money by becoming a deadly mercenary and Sang Sang takes care of the household affairs.  At one point, Ning Que becomes a disciple of the powerful Fu Zi and somehow gets entangled in the struggles between the Holy Sect and Demon Sect.  A bunch of beautiful women fall for Ning Que, and the drama tries its hardest to convince us that he has chemistry with and reciprocates the feelings of one of them (i.e. Mo Shan Shan), but anybody who was even half paying attention knows that the only one for Ning Que is Sang Sang.  They are the OTP of all OTPs and take “ride or die” to a whole other level. Oh also, their height difference is the stuff manga dreams are made of. Ning Que is a “good guy” but also not a “good guy” in the sense that he is not above doing whatever it takes to seek revenge and is only out for himself and Sang Sang (and later, his older brothers and sisters from the academy).

Surprise Thirst Factor: Chen Feiyu is an attractive person but I could not in good conscience thirst after him because he was literally born in the year 2000.  It did not help that he was only 18 when he filmed Ever Night and looked every bit his age.  My thirst may have no shame, but it does have its own set of principles and one of those principles is thou shalt not lust after those born in the new millennium!  Luckily for me, Second Brother is played by Dylan Kuo who is a beautiful, elegant, tall man

and Brother Chao is exactly the type of rugged and manly that I am into.  

(you don’t have to be)

who looks better when wet

AHEM. Yeah.

Sixth Brother is also not so bad with his scanty pounding work attire,

4. Novoland: Eagle Flag

Brief Summary:  Asule is the prince of a tribe in the grasslands who is held as a royal guest (i.e. hostage) in the Eastland Empire.  There he meets his two future best friends, Yu Ran, a free spirited princess who is descended from a race of bird people, and Ji Ye, an emo neglected/shunned son of a concubine who is probably the best fighter in the empire.  Ji Ye loves Yu Ran who is a ball of sunshine to his Johnny Raincloud dark emo self.  Yu Ran loves Ji Ye back.  Asule loves both his friends and will do anything to protect them.  The world decides to fuck over best friends Asule, Ji Ye, and Yu Ran for no reason as they try their best to just live a peaceful life away from all the political scheming and fighting.

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I was completely content with enjoying Eagle Flag purely for its story and substance.  It’s seriously a wonderful, yet heartbreaking drama and the scale of the production is amazing.  No cheap $10 costumes here.  Also, the direction is beautiful/artistic and not the run of mill “let’s shoot it and complete it as fast as we can.”  The two main actors were cute, but not really my type.  Then the drama decided to give Ji Ye the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” and all of a sudden your girl was rushing to MDL to check Chen Ruo Xuan’s birthday and calculating his age.  I am simple, predictable, and consistent when it comes to my thirst and give a character some scruff, long hair, angst, and some bloodlust and I’m all yours.  I am literally:

Is it wrong that when Ji Ye showed up looking like this ready to kill his mother’s torturer

I thought, yes, can we have him kill another? 

5. Run On

Brief Summary: Im Siwan plays Ki Seon Geom, a national track runner from a rich family who is a bit of an oddball and marches to his own beat.  Although his words can sometimes be construed as rude since he has no filter, they are also completely honest and have no hidden meaning.  He also has his own personal code that he lives by and he will stick to it no matter how negatively it may impact himself.  He meets Oh Mi Joo, a translator with her own strange quirks and sparks fly as Mi Joo is assigned to be his interpreter.  

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I kind of watched this drama by accident.  I had read about Im Siwan starring in a new drama but nothing I saw from the description or promos for Run On appealed to me.  Nor did it give me any information about what the drama would be about.  Then one day, I just happened to be browsing Netflix for something to play in the  background and decided on Run on since I thought I wouldn’t be that invested.  What a happy accident that turned out to be because I’m so in love with this drama right now.  This is a case where the thirst does not stem from the character’s physical appearance, but from the intensity/charisma the actor brings to the character and the character himself.  Ki Seon Geom is so odd, but so appealing at the same time and Im Siwan is so magnetic in the role.  Prior to Run On, Im Siwan wasn’t really my type physically.  In fact, I always scratched my head whenever people called him handsome in dramas (I know, I know, forgive me).  So color me shocked when I found myself swooning all over Im Siwan in the second episode of Run On.  Now, it’s like I have “Im Siwan is attractive” glasses on and he looks attractive in everything to me.  I want to gobble up all the dramas he’s been in.

[bitchesgetriches]

Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

Merch is back online

If you visited our Etsy shop in the last few months, you might’ve noticed the physical merch—tee shirts and coffee mugs and tote bags and such—wasn’t listed anymore. Basically, when lockdowns started, it caused a lot of disruption and delays on orders. Not wanting people to be stuck waiting for stuff, we decided to take it all offline, and only offer digital merch.

As of today, we’ve reactivated everything! But please keep in mind that there may still be delays, depending on what’s happening in the world! We appreciate your patience, if patience is indeed called for.

Visit Our Etsy Shop

Season one transcripts

Next, we wanted to let you guys know that we now have transcripts available for season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

We’re committed to making BGR as accessible as we possibly can. We know that some people can’t hear, or struggle to absorb information aurally, so transcripts were something we’ve always wanted to offer.

… But, you know, at the end of the day, we’re just two people! Transcribing and editing audio is time- and labor-intensive work, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it along with the fifteen million other things we have to do.

We were able to offer season one transcripts thanks entirely to A Purple Life, a peerlessly talented and wonderful fellow blogger who selflessly made it happen. (If you don’t already read her stuff, you’ve already disobeyed us, as we commanded you to in 10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now. And for that, we’re strongly considering smiting you.)

We’re incredibly thankful to Purple for her hard work on this. But we also feel strongly that this DESERVES to be paid work! So the release of season two transcripts is dependent on getting more Patreon donors to offset funding it.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

Season 1, Episode 7: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Season 1, Episode 10: “I Want a Pedigreed Dog. She Wants a Rescue Mutt. It Turned into a Fight… and the Fight Got Ugly.”

Season 1, Episode 11: “I Feel Cornered by a Friend Who Keeps Asking to Borrow Money.”

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

For transcripts, scroll to the bottom of each episode and click “episode transcript.” Or read them directly in the podcast player of your choice!

Podcast reviews

We also super wanted to thank all the people who’ve etched their names in blood upon the dusty pages of our dark grimoire written reviews for the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and other places!

We are beyond flattered by the kind things you guys have said about us. Like MoonPetalLily, who described us as “the snarky older sisters [they] wish [they] had.”

FunshineKelly said our “advice helped [them] land a $20k raise and a signing bonus without crying even a little bit.” GOOD! We don’t support tears in the workplace! Not even in the sanctity of your car parked way in the corner of the parking lot. Keep it together!

And God bless MelHubbs, who said, and I quote:

They’re prepared, and still relaxed; informative, and still light-hearted; comforting, and still sexual. It’s everything you could ever want in a podcast, in an internet personality, in your sisters-in-arms against the terrible war between capitalism and what humans actually need to survive & thrive. One of my favorite things about them is that they don’t have any corporate sponsors or ads, so you know what they’re saying is what they mean, not what their advertisers want them to say. If you’re able, support them on Patreon! If you’re not, listen to their podcast, take their advice to heart, reflect on your options, make your moves, then, with your newfound financial independence, become a patreon!

MelHubbs, you joyful sonnet!

Your review is so good that it reads suspiciously like something we paid you to write! But we’re too cheap for that—IT REAL!

Bitches Get Riches at the crossroads

All right. Time to level with you guys.

In keeping with 2020’s overarching theme (“everything is pure shit”), this year has become a real “shit or get off the pot” moment for the two of us.

Although I’m comfortable and doing fine, Piggy is still unemployed. And last week she received the last unemployment check she’s entitled to. It sucks. And it’s scary.

Being a partnership is awesome in almost every way. But one way that it sucks is that we have to earn double the amount of money to be truly profitable! (And no, before you ask, it’s not possible for us to only pay Piggy. Believe me, that was our original plan—but it turns out that’s not allowed in a 50/50 legal partnership. We must pay ourselves equally, or Uncle Sam will spank us. And he doesn’t do it in the sexy way—only the traumatic way!)

Piggy is doing okay for now. She has freelancing work, and an intact emergency fund. But understandably, anxiety and worry take their toll. She’s pushing through it, but it’s hard. Creativity and passion can’t thrive for long without some measure of safety and stability.

During these scary times, our Patreon community has been a lifeline. As more and more of you have joined us, it’s slowly crept up from grocery money to grocery and utility bill money! So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to those who’ve stepped up and joined.

But we’re kind of at a crossroads. Because of Piggy’s situation, we really need it to become “paying the mortgage” money. And it’s gotta get there pretty fast. Otherwise, it’s just not fair to ask Piggy to invest so much of her time in Bitches Get Riches, when she could be taking on higher paying freelancing work to keep herself afloat.

And trust me, you do not want a BGR that’s too Kitty-heavy. I am longwinded af, slowly losing my abilities to think and spell, and take every possible detour to inject disgusting sexual comments wherever they are least germane (although idk maybe you’re here for that).

Our new goal for ourselves, and you

With all of that in mind, we have a new goal: to produce season three of our podcast, we need 500 total Patreon donors.

Today we have… 294. So that’s, uhhhhh… a really ambitious goal!

It’s probably too ambitious. We’re probably gonna fail. Who cares, it’s 2020! The planet is on fire and god is already dead, so we have no reason not to give it our all!

We are leaving this in your hands. We—Piggy and I—believe that the world would be a better place if people could hear reliable, relatable financial wisdom funded by regular people, untainted by corporate sponsors with deep pockets who want us to push their capitalist crap upon you. And 294 of you have already demonstrated that you believe that too. Thank you, thank you, infinity thank yous to all of you who are already a part of our Patreon community. You are shining stars that smell faintly of vanilla.

For the rest of you: if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, please show us that you believe in it too. You can do that by joining us at the Bitches Get Riches Patreon.

We hope to be back soon for a third season. Until then, stay safe, stay sane, wear your masks, triple-check that you’re registered to vote, and save room for dessert. (What’s for dessert? So glad you asked—it’s the rich!)

For now, Bitches OUUUTTTTT!

Join the Bitches on Patreon

Join the Bitches on Patreon

[kouhaiofcolor]

2020's finally over. Can we not go into 2021 pacifying texturism w "It's just hair" tho?

It was "just hair" until Black Women started exercising the freedom to discover the unique needs & maintenance beneficial to our hair. Then as soon as non black women got wind of it & the nerve to lurk on platforms the natural hair community was uprising thru, nowadays you've got all these non black women bandwagoning & hashtagging literally everything under the sun w/ this fake ass inclusiveness, advocacy, relatability & support for textured hair. Like all women have suffered oppression around wearing their real hair 😒. Like all races of women have been socially targeted in blatant discriminations against their hair texture, complexion, & how acceptable they are or are not together. I hate the "All Hair (Matters/Is Beautiful/Is 'Good Hair')" clout bc it talks over & totally overwrites the foundational issue around hair & toxic femininity that, at its misogynoir core, has always been that textured hair is unprofessional, unkempt, unmanageable, & ugly. Colorism also erases the initial creators of the movement — which were Monoracial Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women; put some respek onnat, period. Straight hair is not oppressed; wavy hair is not oppressed; all hair is not oppressed. Black hair is. This "all hair is good hair" bullshit is so monotonous & inconsiderate bc its almost like a passive aggressive refusal to acknowledge what antiblackness imposed on Black Women alone. None of you non black know what it's like in depth to be the descendants of a race of ppl who's features, traits & harmless existence have always been insulted, hated & envied by the whole world. Esp not all at once. That is something totally unique to us inflicted & imposed by everyone else since the beginning of time. So why be out here chasing clout under tags & movements & in spaces you are no real part of? Why wanna be a part of the Black Girl Experience that bad? Yall have identities in everything outside of us. Why vulture off of this like you even have reasons to be there? We were investing in ourselves & trying to teach generations of Monoracial Black People how to manage their hair texture & develop cathartic habits thru self care. Nb ppl ruined that.

Looser hair textures have omnipresent representation & acceptance all, over, the, world. There is no lack of being seen, romanticized or exemplified for having texture 1a-3b hair; esp on the prevalent basis around colorism we see regularly on social media & on tv. Yet what remains of the community as it stands is today the furthest thing from textured or Black at all. At this point we owe the decline (if not death) of the natural hair community to the parasitic latching of non black women, the infiltration of "pick me's" & antiblackness generally — but I still be feeling like even that's not direct enough. We're talking ab something authentic & wholesome for Monoracial Black Women created by us for us being straight up sabotaged by races of women the cause was totally irrelevant to & in regard of. Bc that's how cosmetic industries have been towards us for centuries. Bc we were always excluded & thought of least & last. By other women. By all other women; don't get it twisted. So we set out on figuring ourselves out. Doing research on our own. Incorporating self care & beneficial habits in our lives to nourish & feel better ab ourselves & disprove the racist shit non black cultures & ppl either ignorantly surmise, make up or project ab Black Girls. That includes Black Men too in case yall thought yall were safe. Yall are some of the most toxic & prevalent faces behind colorism, antiblackness & misogynoir among black ppl specifically.

But anyhow. At first a lot of the initiation of the vulturing in the nhc light skinned women were the face of. Esp w the clout around having 4c hair amongst the beige-est, most ambiguously or straight up non black individuals, good lord. Then it went mainstream for huwight ppl, whom enevitably invited themselves, & following were the masses of non black women looking to pillage for themselves while the community was being swallowed by the crowdedness & irrelevant content being put out there (specifically on YouTube, Twitter & Instagram) by "hair gurus" of the light skinned, biracial or non black texture 1a-3b variety. Hair gurus who literally may as well've fallen from the sky & met social media stardom overnight based on their hair texture & complexion alone they're so brand new. Hair gurus who aren't even in the community for legitimately informative reasons or purposes unionized in Blackness. They're whole natural hair niche be — as a favorite natural of mine put it — manipulating textured hair into a sort of submission to appear or behave like looser textures do. They'll swear by 'game changer' products they both mention & only use like once & insist you should invest in a $30 8oz. bottle of clarifying shampoo or a $35 cowash if you want your hair to behave & look like theirs. Again, mind you, these types of individuals casually claim having texture 4 hair when they're anything but, just for the attention it brings from both ppl who will gullibly follow their every word & who know what kind of scamming to look for & won't.

If it's "just hair", how come so many of you that are non black are riding the wave? If it's just hair, why have so many of you found refuge in using the hashtags & participating/contributing uninvited? How come so many ran to get a seat at the table w Black Women only to kick them to the side the more popular it became if its just hair? How come nobody was calling it natural hair before Black Women created the nhc & started growing their own? Why was there no natural hair community before Black Women coined it, reminder, for ourselves? If it's just hair, how come so many ran to youtube to begin w to start channels for their own non-textured journeys? If its just hair, why is the nhc so damn obsessed w defining curls & length than overall health & gradual growth? If its just hair, why are white girls anywhere near this? Yall are the most out of place of anyone, honestly. Even if you're curly. Why do light skinned girls get to both represent textured hair & "good hair"? How does that even make sense? Thats just putting monoracial black girls in isolated boxes they're not even allowed to be symbols of or in. If its just hair, why's it so unheard of to see the roles of Black female characters in just ab anything played by actual Black Women? If its just hair, why have so many non or partially Black women worked in ignorant succession to water down & essentially wash out the Monoracial Black Women vital to the community's relevance at all? I really do not get the involvement of non black women in this movement at all — esp when culturally you have no reason to call your hair natural. There are no & have never been prejudice notions around having or growing texture 1a-3b hair. There's nothing oppressive ab it, either. Yall have gotta stop w that. You've already made a mockery of something that was supposed to be beautiful by making yourselves comfortable in & hijacking our space itfp. Theres far too much misrepresentation of textured hair to keep up w now. This is why i say the nhc (as well as culture vulturing generally) has just become nbwoc copying white women copying light skinned women copying Black Women, bc the audacity is unreal.

Its not just hair tho. To those it applies to, yall proved that the minute Black Women started going public w their growth journeys. The minute conversations ab "shrinkage this & 4c that" broadened & went mainstream. Yall couldn't move all at once fast enough when you realized you weren't as special as you thought & had always been told — esp w melanin at its modern value. Now all yall either "natural", seeking black men for either casual sex or cultural infiltration via fetishised reproduction, certain you have texture 4 hair or know the best tips for a DIY silk press 🤭😂 yall can't sit w us. You don't belong here. I'm calling yall out on allll the bs around this "All Hair Matters" garbage, cus yall are now sputtering the same shit while literally wearing your own non black hair in black styles. Be consistent. Make some fucking sense. I don't wanna be part of this fake ass girl squad propaganda that says every other woman never looked at Black Women's hair like it was bottomest of the barrel, foh. We're not on the same team & yall know it.

[94monkeys]

November, December and January were the worst months of my life that started out as the best months of my life. I am better, but I’m still not okay.

CW: death (not mine), medical stuff (no gore), emergency room experience

The first week of November was the election we’d been building up to, frankly, 4 years. I was basically eating, sleeping, breathing work from mid-August until the election, and then for several days after until we got the result that we wanted.

The second week in November, I found out I was pregnant. We were shocked and thrilled. (It was intentional but it was still, like, surprising that it actually worked???)

Turn back now because it only gets worse from here.

The third week in November, I find out I’m getting laid off. I was given a lot of reasons, none of which made sense, but basically a casualty of office politics way over my head. I was told that it wasn’t performance related, but it still felt brutal to have to do this after pouring myself into work. I’ve been laid off before, and it’s always a cold experience. You remember that your company only cares about you to a degree, and at the end of the day, they will always protect themselves and not you. I personally don’t understand why you would replace a professional with two part-time dilettantes on your public facing communications BUT ANYWAY!

I was asked to stay through the beginning of January and I accepted.

The fourth week in November was Thanksgiving. We were home about to make dinner for 2 (COVID). During the day, I started to feel sick and crampy. I called the urgent care nurse line and they told me to go to the ER. I live very close to a hospital, so I literally packed my biggest warmest sweatshirt and a book and walked there, leaving my spouse and the turkey still in the oven (luckily that was his purview anyway).

The ER was, surprisingly, very quiet. I was there for about 4 hours while they ran various tests on me. (They had to call a specialist in from their Thanksgiving dinner, which I felt terrible about.) Ultimately, they could not determine whether I had miscarried or not, so they sent me home with instructions to take it easy and to go in for more testing.

In December I had a doctor’s appointment where they confirmed that I was not pregnant any more. (The tech was very cold and impersonal… I was crying on the ultrasound table. I know that it was so early, but I was crying for myself and my spouse and the dreams we had invested that never came to be. I was sad because this was our first time, and it was so terrible, and we won’t ever have a first one.)

They flagged something in my blood tests that was troubling, so they ordered regular testing. I was going in about 3 times a week for blood draws. Luckily I’m not scared of needles so it was more annoying than anything.

I was also applying to and interviewing for jobs (without success) and also still working at my job where I felt literally invisible. It was a really dark time. I don’t know how else to describe it. I don’t know how I got out of bed every day. It felt like everything in my life had just collapsed at once. I didn’t feel unwell, but it was just like a big weight dragging me down all the time.

In the 3rd week of December, I had another ultrasound and then met with a new to me doctor, I’ll call her Dr. S. I had been going along with all the additional bloodwork, but I was starting to push back on why it was necessary.

It was a Friday afternoon when Dr. S met with me and said: We think that you have an ectopic pregnancy. I didn’t know, but I would soon learn that this was a pregnancy that was not in the right place, would not grow, but could rupture and kill me. She recommended surgery to address it.

Okay, I said. I had the next week off, so I assumed it would be either that week, or in January while I was funemployed (but still had my good health insurance).

I was thinking this weekend, said Dr. S.

So it was that I went to a Friday doctor’s appointment and found myself signing into surgery on Saturday morning.

It was my first ever surgery with anesthesia, and everyone took great care of me, but it was still EXTREMELY disconcerting. I had laparoscopic surgery so I only have 2 teeny scars, but I was in a lot of pain and confused when I woke up.

Work was closed all week, so I basically spent the whole week sitting in 1 chair in my apartment either watching movies or reading. I didn’t want to get into all the details with people, because a) 2020 was already so… 2020, b) I was still nominally job-hunting and I didn’t want to give anyone a dumb surface reason not to hire me or make them think I was a pregnancy flight risk (I love being a woman of a certain age!), c) I just didn’t want to talk about it. On the other hand, almost no one at work checked on me. I found their treatment very cold, again.

In January I put myself together for my last week at work, we had the runoff elections, we had the coup. I had my surgery follow-up where it was confirmed that it was an ectopic pregnancy. That was my January: medical follow-ups, but at least I don’t have to schedule them around the job I no longer have!  

WHEW. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for hearing me. I have since gotten a new job working on communications for politics, but also nonprofits and city agencies. My stress has been cut by probably 70 percent. In my job I’m doing a lot more writing, which is probably what enabled me to write this long overdue update with most of everything in it.

We are starting to explore our fertility options. I had a doctor that really catastrophized me in terms of how intense we need to go about it, but likely we will start slowly and see how it goes. They still don’t know why I had an ectopic (and probably won’t figure out), but I am at higher risk of having another one, so any potential pregnancy will involve a lot of testing and monitoring. That’s why we haven’t “started” “trying” again, because there are tests and there is my new job and so on. I had a hysterosalpingogram, which you should definitely Google if you’re not squeamish. (It didn’t hurt but it was totally weird!)

I am better, but I’m not OK. I’m still mad about everything that happened to me. There are moments when I get catapulted back to my surgery and everything, and I completely freeze. I just got my doctors’ records from November and December (which I had to pay $35 for!!! MY OWN RECORDS) and even though I didn’t learn anything new from reading those records, I still had a lot of emotional trouble processing what happened. It’s weird that so many of them start by noting that the patient was “not in acute distress.” Must be an automatic fill-in because that doesn’t match what I was feeling ever!!!

Dr. S literally saved my life and I think what was not clear to me at the time, because I was still mourning what could have been, is that I am still here. I am more than everything that happened to me. 

I am looking for a new therapist and I am trying to look on the bright side. Unfortunately, one of my oldest friends in the world endured a similar health issue back in January; fortunately, we are each other’s best comfort because I know she won’t judge me. This summer may bring good news on this front or maybe not, but at least vaccinated we can do more than we have been able to do (picnics in the park! Visits to family!) I have to believe my luck is turning. It’s how I get by.

[phoenotopia]

2020 October Update

So... we've launched. And our launch was... actually kind of... bad...

This is a dev blog, so I'll speak on it. But before that, we do have the game's steam page up. If you're anticipating the PC release, please do visit the steam page and add it to your wish list. It would help us a lot.

VISIT STEAM LINK

...

So what didn't go so well?

1. We launched in Nintendo's Americas and Europe territory. If you've been following the release, you'd know that America got the game first. We didn't move to launch in Europe at all since I thought the EFIGS languages (English, French, Italian, German, Spanish) were pre-requisites for Europe. By the time I learned that this wasn't necessarily the case, and attempted to course correct, the damage was done. We had half the allotment of keys to do outreach, and maybe some European outlets that would've covered us, did not.

2. When the game launched, rather than a victory lap, what we experienced was more of a public lashing. We did get some reviews that praised the game highly, but just as many reviews lampooned the game for its high difficulty or other failings. I've since released two patches (or 3, depending on how you count it) to address the difficulty. A lot of overnighters. If you recall in the last blog post, I thought it'd be a good start if we got 20 or so reviews on Open Critic. But we've only 8 as of this writing, and the aggregate score isn't so hot. So that's a fail by my metric.

3. A publisher reached out to us because they were interested in physically printing the game! Yay! But... to advance our talks, they wanted to see the game's sales numbers to ensure that there's a good chance their investment could be recouped. And unfortunately, the game's sales numbers are pretty low. They backed out :(

Some hard lessons were learned. The biggest lesson for me concerns how well we playtested the game. Looking at the original playtester list, it's a short list. You may recall from a previous blog post that our ability to test was severely hampered by technical limitations. Add to that, a lot of people on this list are objectively really achieved players. We're talking power ranked in Smash Bros, regular tournament goers, and people who've played and bested every Souls game. And as the maker of the game, I am most blind to the game's challenges.

Now, I'm definitely more of the opinion that you prioritize PC development first. I still have some reservations about some stages of PC development. But if you do PC/Steam first, you have the great benefit of being able to do Early Access, which gives you access to a greater testing pool. I now view it as an invaluable part of the equation. If we had been able to do Early Access for 1 or 2 months before release, we probably could have ironed out most of the game's difficulty and balance problems. Hard lessons, indeed.

There were a lot of other notable events that occurred over the past 2 months - the travails of press outreach, realizing my own limits as a developer, feeling defeated and getting back up again, etc. There's too much stuff to chronicle or go into detail. But it wasn't all bad.

Some good things did happen...

We got a publisher to publish for Japan! It came as a huge relief, because clearly, we don't know what the heck we're doing.

The publisher has been an invaluable source of information and feedback. They've recommended some changes to the game to improve user experience. Some of these changes I was hesitant to do at first because they concerned systems I thought integral to the identity of the game. But after trying it, I have to admit, they're good changes.

So a Japanese version of the game was moving ahead. And it looked like that'd be it. I wasn't planning to move forward with any other language translations due to the game's low sales and our funds being depleted. 

But, I was approached by a translator who urged me to move ahead with translations. He told me he was willing to work for only a small price initially and then be paid the rest after from a percentage of the game's sales until the cost of the translation was paid in full.

I was surprised translators were willing to work under such a model since it's entirely likely the game's current low sales trajectory would continue and they wouldn't earn back the full cost of translation. But I was also flattered they were willing to take a risk with me. After that, I approached some others with the same hypothetical deal, and long story short, we're now moving forward with French, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Russian translations. As for why these languages in particular, they were languages for whom I had contacts (because they reached out to me at some point in the past). And also because they were deemed more likely to be profitable based on their home country's gaming market/buying habits. I'd be personally happy to have my native language be represented, but it's not expected to be a profitable territory. But if the game does better in the future, it may justify the costs of translation. There could be a chance!

The plan right now is to get the game supporting these first round of languages and then to patch that into the Switch version as well as launch the PC version with these languages - all in December. A lot of things need to align for this to occur, so a delay isn't out of the question. It'll be busy... I'll update the blog again in latter half of December, probably near the game's PC launch date... OR to announce a delay. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Fan Support

While the past two months have been grueling, one good thing remains constant - fan art! Thank you everyone who submitted. It means a lot to me and the team!

Big thanks to Pimez who's taken on watching over the reddit community as moderator. He also combs the other communities and makes sure I see every new art piece. Despite juggling his own life and all these tasks, he still found some time to draw.

Pimez's piece reminds us that just because the new game's out doesn't mean we can't still celebrate the original flash game. The jail dog is a dog found only in jail and only in the flash game. I imagine Gail is just tossing a stick, and they're playing fetch.

A new artist to this scene æv draws both the Phoenix logo AND a super cute picture of Gail playing the flute. So precious, you want to pinch her cheek. Even the Sand Drake is enthralled!

Another new artist, beet4ppy arrives on the scene with two pictures! One features a no-nonsense battle-hardened Gail looking stoic and tough! Kinda reminds me of Vinland Saga actually. The other, a more cheerful group composition - I must say I'm a big fan of Fran's classic anime-style eye!

A returning artist, Cody G, returns with a picture depicting the tribulations of cooking. Gotta love Gail's frantic expression! I've heard the complaints, which is why we've added an option to slow the cooking mini-game down. An improved button font is also on the way.

Gamesing with two undertale x phoenotopia crossovers. Thomas being a robot builder makes sense taking a role similar to Alphys. But why is Alex dressed like a clown? Perhaps there is a hidden meaning here... 

A new artist, Warotar, draws both a pooki wearing Gail's clothes and Gail wearing pooki clothes. Awww. The pooki is a bit scary - it kinda reminds me of a tragic event in a certain anime. But the Gail is adorable!

POL#5655 submitted this one to KM's discord which made its way to me. Here, a stylized Gail appears unnerved by the dark red eyes stalking her in the background. Are they bats or something more sinister?

A new artist, MilesCPW, arrives on the scene with three rare well-vectorized arts! Love it! One scene depicts Gail balancing a bomb on her head - that's a speedrunning trick I only learned about recently after someone emailed me a video O_O

The other drawing gives us new insight into Katash - he could actually look cute if he wasn't trying to kill you.

And the bees... Okay, this one got a chuckle from me :D

A returning artist roccy_chair draws this heart-warming scene from the beginning of the new game. Aww. Mika doesn't get much screen time for story reasons, so it's nice to see her represented.

UnrealWorld_32 returns with another drawing of Gail in Panselo, this time capturing a more idyllic time. I like the tranquil nature of this piece. And Gail does in fact play the guitar, denoted by the guitar in her room.

Returning artist shafiyahh draws a nice portrait of Prince Leo - looking regal and princely. I like the storybook art style of this piece. It made me immediately think of "the Little Prince" - one of my favorite books actually!

Negativus Core returns with a beautiful group composition of Gail and the gang - flying from a Switch shaped window - totally sensible considering the game is only Switch right now. As usual, I'm impressed by Negativus Core's use of challenging angles to frame a more dynamic shot of the characters. Great job!

And it wasn't only artists bearing the banner. I'd like to give a big shoutout to everyone in all the game's little communities (from the reddit to the discords to this tumblr). I've seen this community help newcomers with gameplay and walkthrough advice, discussions, updating the wiki, and so on. It does bring a smile to my face. Thank you everyone!

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Gold Rush and Happiness are Sisters

Gather round everyone and witness the clown try to prove that Taylor Swift wrote songs about a married (now pregnant) woman in the year of our lord 2020.

Also this is a seven page doc in my google docs so like. Get a cup of tea and some popcorn.

Ok full disclosure this is…..mostly me clowning. Like seriously. Don’t take my words as the word of God, this is just my interpretation and how I listen to the songs. And as a (former? Idk man) Kaylor I’m going to want to make these songs about my ship. Acknowledge your biases kids.

Also like. I change my mind a lot, but for a while this theory that Gold Rush and Happiness are connected has been stuck in my head and I wanted to write it down and post it in case anyone else got something out of this.

If you read my last post on Gold Rush (here!) you’ll know I don’t think of it as a happy song. To elaborate further- I think it’s Taylor catching herself looking back on Karlie/that time in her life (Because I think Karlie is emblematic of the 1989 era for Taylor and is thus tied to the pain that came out of that, along with her ties to the masters heist) and reminding herself it wasn’t good and ended for a reason.

“Gleaming, twinkling/eyes like sinking ships on waters/so inviting, I almost jump in”

“But I don’t like a gold rush” 

The sinking ship line makes me laugh. I like to think it’s Taylor saying she’s literally sunk our (dead) ship, but that’s mostly regressing to 2015 tumblr humur.

To the actual analysis, she almost jumps into these waters, maybe it’s literal (don’t text your ex kids, write a bop like closure instead) or maybe it’s more metaphorical. She almost allows herself to think the good times were the only times. Maybe there’s a desire to move back to nyc, capture the magic that she may have felt during the era. 

“I don’t like that flying feels like falling till the bone crush”

But that’s the thing. It feels like flying at the time, but it isn’t a feeling that can last. These relationships built on temporary promises (we’re assuming here Taylor was a side thing for Karlie, not that serious and built not to last, even if there were genuine romantic feelings on both sides, which I think there were to some level) won’t last, and will hurt when they do end. At least, this one did.

“Everyone wonders what it would be like to love you”

Everybody wants who she’s singing about and is imagining what it would be like to be with them, they think it would be a fairytale. Hell, Taylor probably thought their relationship would be a fairytale against her better judgement. Karlie is a celebrity and a model no less, yes she has other things going for her (Koding and investments), her brand and her success in the fashion world depends to some degree people desiring and fantasizing about her.

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch”

The funny thing about that, Taylor’s the only one who knows the pain of that relationship, of being a side thing and never committed to. It’s draining. It's difficult. She isn’t allowing herself to jump into those waters.

“I see me padding across your wooden floor/with my Eagles t shirt hanging on the door”

I point out this line mostly because it feels like a Delicate call back (Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs). Am I reaching though? Probably. Also as someone with parents about the same age as Taylor’s (give or take ten years), I like the Eagles reference. Stream Hotel California for clear skin <3

“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit”

Taylor was the first person to call Karlie out on her “I’ve tried!!” bullshit, how cute. <3

Besides this line being very iconic, it also shows to me that Taylor’s been frustrated with Kar even when she was busy giving her heart eyes. She’s a frustrating person to be around even when you are “turning her life into folklore”.

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

Damn that’s a gay couples lines you got there Tay. Wonder if you’re wondering what it must’ve been like for Kar to grow up in the model industry, and all of the pressure and exhilaration that entails. From a male’s perspective ofc.

I also take the dominoes line to be Taylor saying what must’ve it been like to have this easy idyllic childhood. Maybe Taylor is the first time Karlie’s been with a girl outside of a hookup and didn’t have to go through the pain of realizing she was into women until later in life. (Not that that’s not painful, it’s just different, and allows you to have a perfectly straight childhood/teenagerhood)

“And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it/And thеn it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it could never be”

Maybe this relationship never existed in the way she thought at all. You know Carrie Fischer’s character in When Harry Met Sally and how until she meets the right guy, she spends the whole movie insisting that whatever married guy she’s seeing really loves her!! And he’s gonna leave his wife for her!! That’s what these two songs make me think about, waking up and realizing they were never going to leave their wife, you were projecting this whole story onto someone else, but that doesn’t mean there was no value in what happened.

“And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it/'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it will never be”

The coastal town seems an obvious Rhode Island reference, to get more specific it reminds me of when Josh and Karlie visited Taylor at her Rhode Island home in 2014 and Josh looks peeved as hell. 1, 2 Also if I remember correctly, enty has a blind where he says there was a huge fight between Josh and Taylor which ended in Taylor not wanting to be around him again. Just interesting to note. (And if anyone has the receipt, please send it my way!)

Taylor may have been projecting this fairytale narrative at the time of being able to make it work, of being friends with Josh even but it didn’t work and the fairytale is left to be folklore, never made real.

The outro is the same as the intro to the song, implying to me that while she’s telling herself it was bad, you weren’t happy, she’s still catching herself missing it and what she had with Karlie. She left a part of her back in New York see, and she can’t stop her mind from retracing old footsteps.

Now, onto how I think Happiness and how I think it connects. I’m about to audition for the national team in the reaching Olympics. Wish me luck. :)

A bit of a preamble though, I don’t take this song ~super~ literally. Depending on what day of the week it is I think it’s probably her divorcee rpg simulator or her closing the book on her ex situationship gf on her own terms ~in a straight way~. So not to discredit this whole ass post but. Take with a grain of salt.

“Honey, when I'm above the trees/I see this for what it is”

See that bold bit? That’s the main connective tissue between these songs. She’s finally woken up and now that she’s this far removed from the relationship she sees what it was. To add to the pain of it all, this is especially potent if you wonder if Karlie gaslit Tay into thinking this wasn’t a big deal, they were just fucking around when Karlie has literal Softest Love Song You Are In Love dedicated to her.

“But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given/Is just shit we're dividin' up”

This seems to me to be a masters heist reference. Karlie since Lover, is musically tied to this event in Taylor’s life, it’s what I think is keeping Tay from making a clean break from her so to speak. 

“Showed you all of my hiding spots/I was dancing when the music stopped”

This seems to be a Rep era/dwoht reference. Yes, Taylor constantly references dancing, but the hiding spots (loved you in secret! you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis!) combined with the dancing when the music stopped (I'd kiss you as the lights went out! Swaying as the room burned down!) brings out the full kaylor clown in me. 

“There'll be happiness after you/But there was happiness because of you/Both of these things can be true”

This is probably some of the most gut wrenching lyrics Taylor’s ever written. Damn, imagine having that written about you. Anyway, the point here is the thesis of this whole damn post. Gold Rush is Taylor catching herself daydreaming about the happy parts, and reminding herself about the bad to make her snap out of it. Happiness is her coming to terms that both parts of that relationship were true. Things aren’t that simple. 

“Haunted by the look in my eyes/That would've loved you for a lifetime/Leave it all behind”

This feels very Cruel Summer doesn’t it? “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” These lines make this relationship read as two things to me. One, it was very one sided, and Taylor/the narrator, was obviously left behind at the end of it when she was heavily invested into making this work. And 2, it was doomed from the beginning. Again. Big cruel summer energy here.

Or it’s a divorcee rpg simulator 3000. Now with extra glamour and opportunities to dramatically drink wine in dressing gowns.

I don’t have a lot to say about the second verse of the song that. Karlie has a nice smile, Gatsby reference, dig at whoever the next person to take Taylor’s place as a side fling (or a dig at Josh, or a baby reference since that’s what the Gatsby line refers to). The only other thing worthy of note for this post is the line following the Gatsby reference.

“No, I didn't mean that/Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury”

 is the next line, where she regrets what she just said and admits to saying overly harsh things and overlooking the truth of the matter when she’s angry, which to me feels like a big Afterglow/Me! reference.

“There'll be happiness after me/But there was happiness because of me/Both of these things, I believe”

I think a lot of what Taylor’s doing emotionally in the chorus is legitimizing this relationship for herself. Yeah, Josh and Karlie will have a happy life in Florida with Ivanka and them, but Taylor also made Karlie happy too and she doesn’t want Karlie to forget it. 

It reminds me of the way she talks about August, that she genuinely loves James/Karlie, and thinks they have something. But she’s just the pit stop on the commitment highway, and the depth of her feelings for the other person will never be acknowledged. It’s exhausting you know?

“In our history, across our great divide”

“Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea/That you put between you and me”

Nothing to see here, just a nifty parallel. Karlie doesn’t want wrinkles in her new life see.

“There is a glorious sunrise/Dappled with the flickers of light/From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind/And there is happiness”

This bit (which has some of my favorite imagery in this whole dang album!!!) reminds me of the end of the Wildest Dreams mv where she runs out to the car with the lover following her after the big charade of pretending not to care as much as she does, while knowing you aren’t the one that got picked.

Interestingly, if you look at the shot of the four characters together near the end, the outfits parallel the ones worn by Kar, Tay, and Josh at the 2014 Met Gala. This was of course the one where Tay and Kar got ready together and Karlie proceeded to spend the night with Josh and where Tay just looks. Miserable. (see here!)

The line also parallels Wildest Dreams lyrically.

“Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress/Staring at the sunset, babe”

Which you know. Worth noting.

The last line (And there is happiness) seems to point to there being happiness in leaving the bad situation just as much as there was happiness in the situation. It’s Time to Go anyone?

“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven”

A series of thoughts. One, I love the first line where Taylor acknowledges anger isn’t going to make it better. There’s only so much being angry in this situation will do, and it’s not like Taylor’s record is clean here either. (I mean I assume. We know she went psycho on the phone anyway)

Two. Seven years in heaven is both a play on a famous game/turn of phrase (Seven minutes in heaven) but one of the more bold references to Karlie in her whole damn discography. Do I think they’ve been together for seven years straight? Not really. But do I think Taylor saw an opportunity and jumped on it? Yep. 

“And I pulled your body into mine/Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties”

No thoughts head empty this line is a sucker punch and I love it. If anyone needs me I’ll be watching her perform ikywt on the vsfs and crying to yail.

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness”

Oh look! Another Gatsby reference. Or Taylor calling Karlie out on profiting off of her association with Tay after they clearly did not end on good terms. (Folklore themed maternity shoot anyone?) I mean, whatever floats your boat. 

A bit on the green light metaphor from Gatsby, because it’s worth noting even if I don’t have much more to say on it here.

“Situated at the end of Daisy’s East Egg dock and barely visible from Gatsby’s West Egg lawn, the green light represents Gatsby’s hopes and dreams for the future. Gatsby associates it with Daisy, and in Chapter 1 he reaches toward it in the darkness as a guiding light to lead him to his goal.”

Yes I copied that from Spark Notes. No I am not sorry. I have an exam tomorrow and I’m writing about a dead ship on a dead social media website. Sometimes we do what we must do.

I love the ending of this song, I really really do, it feels like taking in a breath of air and finally feeling free of the weight you’re carrying. It feels like a final goodbye, like Tay’s getting closure on her own terms and I truly love that for her. Bb’s stepping out into the daylight. <3 

There is happiness

In our history, across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind

Oh, leave it all behind

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

So, what was this whole seven page post for then? 

Gold Rush and Happiness being connected has been a theory rattling around in my brain for forever and I’ve wanted to write it down for just as long. The tldr of it all is pretty simple, Gold Rush is about her reminiscing about the good parts of Kaylor, and pulling herself out of it, reminding herself it was bad and bad for her. Happiness is her legitimizing the relationship, and moving on while acknowledging there was bad and good in their story. It just took me seven goddamn pages to articulate that.

If you’ve reached the end of this. Damn. Thanks. Go get a snack or something, you deserve it after reading this.

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens - “Death Takes a Holiday” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Azrael and Raphael are stuck trying to give relationship advice to a woman stuck in a literal Hallmark Christmas Movie, but she's just not getting the message. Raphael is having the time of his existence, but Azrael isn't too sure how much more Christmas cheer he can take. (2257 words)

Notes: Written for @theantichristmaszine 2020, and inspired by @dianacrimsonia's Ineffable Opposites au where Aziraphale is Azrael, the Angel of Death, and Crowley is the Archangel Raphael. Diana's art for this fic can be seen on their Insta: dianacrimsonia. Please go give them all the love :)

Read on AO3.

“So let me get this straight …” Azrael plants both hands on the table, staring down in frustration at the starry-eyed red-head in front of him “… you’re prepared to leave it all, your entire life, everything you’ve built from the ground up on this miserable cesspool of a planet … for love?”

A smile, serene in its decision, content with a shiny vision of the future, answers him before a single word slips past perky, coral-tinted lips. “Yes. I am.”

Azrael slaps the wood as he pushes himself upright. “That’s rubbish, that is.”

An amused tilt of the head sends crimson curls spilling over a narrow shoulder. “How can you possibly believe that? How can you go through life not realizing that love is the greatest God-given force in the universe?”

“How did he get you to do it? Hmm?” Azrael asks, purposefully dodging the question. “You’ve been here, what? Three days? A week tops? What magical spell did he cast that would lead you to make such an asinine decision?”

“Well … we went on a hayride,” manicured fingers count off, “we went Christmas tree shopping, watched the candy puller make candy canes, listened to carolers ... Oh! We had hot chocolate and then ...” A pause, followed by a dreamy sigh “… he kissed me. At this cafe. Right here at this picnic table, as a matter of fact.”

Azrael jerks his hands off the table top as if burned, scowling at the bench beneath his bent right knee as if it were diseased. “We had hot chocolate and then he kissed me,” he mimics, dreamy sigh and all. “You are, without a doubt, the most insufferable creature I have ever met! And if you had a clue who I play Pinochle with on Thursday nights, you’d know that that’s saying something.”

“In her defense, the hot chocolate here is very good,” Raphael offers, taking a careful sip of the steaming liquid in his own Frosty the Snowman mug.

Azrael’s eyes shift away from the infuriating woman sitting in front of him to the equally infuriating angel seated down the bench from him. “Please enlighten me, sunshine, on how you keep getting us into these unsavory situations.”

Raphael raises his eyes, countering Azrael’s glare with a mischievous grin as a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells - Azrael’s least favorite Christmas tune of all time - begins from out of nowhere. “I read. A lot.”

“I may have to confine your literary resources to picture books from now on.”

“We’re here because we’re needed,” Raphael explains to his unamused companion. “Obviously there’s something we need to accomplish. A message we need to send. It’s kind of what angels do during the holidays.”

“Seeing as we’re stuck in a movie on what’s apparently called The Hallmark Channel,” Azrael divines, squinting at a golden emblem that follows them around like a puppy no matter where they go, “I would say that part is accurate.” He turns back to the woman who has done nothing since the moment his attentions went elsewhere, as if she only exists when he’s interacting with her. And even though he’s an Angel of Death, regarded as one of the spookiest, most sinister omens in all of recorded history, it creeps him out.

“Does he have any investments?” Azrael implores, returning to their lost cause. “A retirement plan? A 401K?”

Sara shakes her head.

“Does he at least collect commemorative plates!?”

“Those things aren’t important to him,” she announces superiorly. “Besides, I have enough money socked away to take care of the both of us. We’ll want for nothing, as long as we have …”

“Love. Yeah. I get it. Probably what he’s counting on, the leech. Man almighty,” Azrael grumbles, running a hand down his face in frustration. “Unbelievable! This dillhole should be working downstairs with us!”

“Simon doesn’t want to raise his son around a den of corporate greed!” Sara argues passionately.

“Really?” Azrael scoffs. “What about a den of good schools and culture? Does he believe in those things?”

“All we need is love.”

“What you need, lady, I can’t seem to say out loud.”

“That’s because this movie is rated PG,” Raphael interjects. “You can’t curse here.”

“Pity. Give me exactly five seconds and I’ll make their ratings go through the roof.”

“More like in the toilet. Guidelines for these movies are extremely strict.” Raphael stirs his cocoa, staring wistfully into his cup. “Darling? You do believe in the power of love, don’t you?” he asks, a deep, abiding concern coloring his voice.

“Of course I believe in the power of love!” Azrael stares up at the too bright, too blue sky, mentally venting using every four-letter word he can think up. “But sometimes the power of stupidity is stronger!” He sighs, so long and hard it deserves its own backstory. “Look, lady, love is grand and all, but so is carving a name for yourself and being able to make your condo payments!”

“Love will provide,” is the only reply she gives him.

“This is a nightmare!” Azrael groans, taking a seat opposite his angel and burying his face in his hands.

“I don’t know,” Raphael says, gaining a chipper lilt and a gleeful little wiggle. “I’m having a grand time!”

“Yes, well, you’ve eaten seven Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer cookies, drunk three mugs of cocoa, and you bought a quilt!”

“It’s Amish! Hand stitched! Did you see the craftsmanship?”

“You won’t be able to take it with you,” Azrael points out in a taunting, sing-song way.

“The Hell I won’t,” Raphael murmurs, diving into the mound of marshmallows swimming at the top of his mug.

“This Holy Holiday Messenger gig is all well and good, but did you really have to go and get us stuck in an American movie?”

“I had no control over that, love. But look on the bright side (for you) - we’re not going to be here forever.”

“No?” Azrael blows out an incredulous breath through tightly pursed lips, producing a rude sound that turns a few heads. “It’s only going to feel like it.”

“The spell will wear off in twenty-four hours, I assure you. Which should give us plenty of time to …”

Azrael cuts Raphael off with a look that could melt lead. Raphael puts his hands up in surrender.

“Fine. Here - let me give it a go. Maybe all this needs is a touch of Grace.” Raphael scoots closer to Sara, who’s gazing blankly at a tall, overly decorated tree, with moony eyes. “Look, dear, as much as I hate to admit it, my gloomy but pragmatic friend is right.”

Sara turns on him, glaring like he just spit in her cocoa. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah,” Azrael says. “Excuse me?”

“It seems as though you have just as much wrapped up in your life in New York as your young man does in his daydream of fixing up a run down horse ranch that he doesn’t even have the capital to purchase yet. If I were you, I would go home, back to your life and your job. And either the two of you work things out apart and see how it goes, or find someone whose ideals better line up with yours. Someone who is worthy of you, who wouldn’t ask you to give up everything to live here with him. Because love - true love, the kind of love that lasts - doesn’t come from the sacrifices others ask you to make. It’s about the sacrifices you’re willing to make for others, freely and unsolicited.”

Sara stares open-mouthed at the traitor sitting beside her. But as aghast as she appears, there’s a moment when both Raphael and Azrael think a light bulb has gone off. She’ll agree with them, thank them for their time and their sage advice, then be off, winging her way back to NYC. But after a few blinks, she slowly shakes her head, tsking with every turn of her neck. “You guys just don’t understand the meaning of Christmas.”

Raphael shrugs and slides back to his original seat. “Guess not.”

“Don’t fret, my pet,” Azrael teases. “You tried your best. Guess it wasn’t a matter of Grace after all. There’s no getting through to her, is there?”

“We don’t need to,” Raphael says, reconvening with his cocoa.

Azrael frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I mean the person who needed that message has heard it, and has changed their mind about giving up everything for someone who isn’t willing to meet them half way.”

“Who was it?” Azrael asks, sweeping his gaze around, trying to spot the love lost soul in question.

“Someone out there.” Raphael gestures off to his right. “A real life person out in television land.”

Azrael grins at this turn of events, giddy with relief. “That’s … that’s wonderful! Now we can get the Heaven out of here!”

“Uh … n-no.” Raphael fidgets sheepishly with his mug. “I-I’m afraid we’re stuck here for the full twenty-four hours.”

“Wha---? How!? How can that be!? We fulfilled the requirements of the spell, didn’t we!?”

“Y-yes, but …”

“I know the rules behind these ultimatum locked spells! Once you fulfill your duty, then …” Struck by a sudden realization, Azrael turns wide, scolding eyes on his angel. “Raphael! What did you …?”

“I’m sorry, dear! But when I felt the spell start to pull us out, I just … shrugged it off!”

“But I didn’t shrug it off! How come I didn’t leave?”

“Funny thing that.” Raphael giggles nervously, peeking up at Azrael through glittering lashes. “I sort of … overrode it.”

“Raphael!”

“Azrael! It’s Christmas! I have been trying and trying to get you to take time off and go away with me! This twenty-four hours outside of time could be a holiday for us! Look at all the neat stuff they have planned!” Raphael snaps up a festively decorated flier. “Apple cider tasting, cookie decorating, a peppermint eating contest … and look! A Mistletoe Forest! Do you know what that means?”

Azrael crosses his arms over his chest. “It means this entire town has a huge fungus problem?”

“It’s a forest covered in mistletoe! Mist-le-toe!” Raphael repeats as if talking to a stubborn toddler. “You know … if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Parasites?”

“No.” Raphael wraps a glimmering curl coyly around one slender finger. “I was thinking more along the lines of dozens of hidden corners to get caught under and kiss.”

“My star …” Azrael inches closer, lowering his voice in the hopes that only his love will hear him “… if you want me to kiss you, all you have to do is ask. In fact, you don’t have to say a word. Just look my way and bat those golden eyelashes of yours. I’ll kiss you anywhere you want, wherever you want,” he emphasizes with a cheeky bounce of his eyebrows. “We don’t need mistletoe for that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Raphael breathes in deep, exhales long. “If you want to leave, I’ll understand. I’m sure that I can summon a portal and send you back to your mortuary. Your grim, dreary, lonely mortuary, with that single, sad wreath on the door …”

Raphael sniffs theatrically.

Azrael rolls his eyes.

“Would spending the day here make you happy?” Azrael asks with the enthusiasm of someone about to have teeth pulled sans anesthetic in preparation for a lengthy root canal. “Really happy?”

“Yes,” Raphael answers hopefully, sparkling a vibrant gold like the nebula he is. “Effervescently.”

“I can see that,” Azrael mutters. “All right.” He drops down onto the hard bench, level with Raphael’s beaming gaze, and despite this whole headache, he smiles. What can he say? He loves to see his starshine happy. “Finish your cocoa and come along. We have a PG rating to tank.”

“Ooo! Is that one of your fantasies? Whisking me off to the woods like a cad and having your way with me?” Raphael asks, blithely misreading Azrael’s mood. Too eager to be on their way, he snaps his fingers, transforming his snowman mug into an argyle-printed Thermos to transport his cocoa in. He wouldn’t want to waste good cocoa. Real or not, it’s way too tasty to leave behind. “Oh! Shall I change into a dress? I know! Something Victorian! With a red-trimmed corset and …!”

Azrael catches Raphael’s hand before he can snap his fingers again.

“Raphael! You are a strong, fiercely independent archangel! I would not think to insult you by acting out a fantasy that employs such a flawed and sexist stereotype!”

“Oh,” Raphael squeaks, equal parts stunned by Azrael’s response as disappointed, causing his shimmer to dim. “Oh, I apologize. Yes. Yes, I see your point. I …”

Azrael brings Raphael’s hand to his mouth, a wicked grin spreading his lips as he kisses Raphael’s knuckles one at a time, stopping to swirl the tip of his tongue on the soft web of skin in between, making Raphael’s glow go from brilliant to blinding. “That said - yes. Yes, it is. So please, if you don’t mind … wear the dress.”

***

The Hallmark Channel movie ‘Death Takes a Holiday’, which network execs couldn’t recall green lighting, not a single director remembered directing, nor likewise any of the writers recalled writing, was so insanely popular that, by virtue of a voracious, fan-led letter writing campaign, it ran for three weeks into the New Year, and prompted a sequel for Valentine’s - ‘Death Takes a Spouse’.

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

The Christmas Tree Surprise

Day 12 of 2020′s 31 Days of Ficmas.  Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!

Prompt: Tree

Rating: G

Pairing: 12xRose AU; part of the Queen of Hearts universe

Summary: Ian surprises Rose with a Christmas tree for them to decorate that’s just for their eyes - but it’s the decorations he has ready that makes her melt.

2020 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist  |  Queen of Hearts masterlist

AO3

---

“Goodbye!”  With a final wave to the schoolchildren gathered on the steps, Rose stepped into the town car, smiling and blowing kisses out the window as they pulled away from Arcadia Grammar School, waiting until they were out of sight to sink back into the leather.  “I loved that.”

“I’m glad, ma’am,” her private secretary, Jo, said warmly.  “And they loved you, of course.  I suspect I know what they’ll go home telling their parents about at supper tonight.”

Rose smiled at the idea.  “I hope so- that they enjoyed it, I mean.  I’m just glad I was able to read the book without any mistakes.  That’s my definition of a successful engagement, at least!”  It was only in the last few weeks she’d graduated to doing solo events, and though terribly stressful, she was proud of how they’d gone – no incidents yet, though a few near misses.  Most importantly to her, though, she hadn’t walked out of any yet, nor burst into tears. High standards you’ve got for yourself, Rose Tyler.  “So, what’s next?”

Jo consulted her iPad, scrolling for only a moment.  “The King has blocked off the next two hours of your schedule.  No description was given, only to go directly to your suite – he’ll meet you there.”

“That’s odd.”  Rose frowned, biting her lip as she thought.  “Gosh, I’m not in trouble for anything, am I?”

“I doubt it,” Jo dismissed out of hand.  “It’s the first of December – if I know him, you’ll be drowning in tinsel the moment you walk through the door.  Decorating the Palace may be your responsibility, but he’ll handle your suite.  Just you wait and see.  I’m sure it’s fine.”

Rose chewed on that the rest of the drive back, hoping the other woman was right – not that she really doubted her, as she hadn’t been steered wrong yet, but a not-so-small part of her heart was convinced any moment they’d decide she wasn’t learning quickly enough, or performing well enough as Queen, and send her home with only the things she’d arrived with.

The Palace was bustling as they pulled up, the grounds crew decorating for the holiday season and transforming the normally-magical (to Rose) Palace into a winter wonderland.  Fresh garland was being hung over every doorway and window frame on every level, complete with red, gold, and silver ornaments nestled amongst the sprigs.

“It’s beautiful,” Rose breathed as they entered, making Jo laugh. The page stationed just inside the door took her coat, and she headed up the stairs towards their suite of rooms making mental notes on the needed decorations; work hadn’t started indoors quite yet, as she was still pouring over pictures of previous years to get an idea of how it should look.

At the top of the stairs Jo peeled off towards her own office, and Rose traversed the last few meters to her door alone.  Smiling at the guard who let her through, she was nearly overpowered by the scent of fir.  Coughing slightly, she followed her nose to the end of the hall where their bedroom door was cracked open; pushing inside, she found her husband watching with his arms crossed as two teenaged pages wrapped lights around a tree.

Not just a tree- a gigantic tree.  A good three or four meters high it stretched towards the ceiling, so straight she was certain supports were in use.  It was terribly wide, though their bedroom was so large in and of itself that it felt perfectly at size.  Blimey.  Row after row of unlit lights wound from the top down, the sweaty pages finishing the last of it with relieved sighs.

“Right, let’s light her up, see how it looks,” Ian said.

One page went around the back towards the outlet while the other turned to face Ian; catching sight of Rose, his eyes widened, and he bowed to her. “Your Majesty.”

“Hi, Sam,” Rose said faintly, stepping up to Ian’s side. “Hey, you.  What on Earth is this?”

“It’s our Christmas tree,” her husband grinned, kissing her hello. “Don’t worry, we’ll be decorating it together, but I’ve learned that there can be certain perks to this job, and getting someone else to do the bits I can’t stand is part of that.  In this case, stringing lights on a tree.”

“Happy to do so, Sir,” Sam assured him as the lights flicked on, Josh stepping out from behind the tree and bowing to her as well.  “What do you think?”

Arm in arm Rose and Ian stared at the tree; knowing he was probably examining it from a practical viewpoint, she just took in the beauty and the wonder – she’d never had a Christmas tree in her bedroom before, and certainly not with half a dozen others expected to be sprinkled throughout the house.  Not that the 170-room palace she now called home counted as a house.  Is this really my life?

“Rose?  What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” she said firmly.  “Just as it is.  Thank you, Sam, and Josh.  Lovely job.”

Recognizing the dismissal for what it was both young men bowed, murmured, “Your Majesty”, and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind them and leaving Rose and Ian alone.

“Hello again,” he greeted her, turning to face her and wrapping his arms around her waist, drawing her close.  “How’d it go at the school?”

She reached up to kiss him, just because she could, before leading him over to their sofa and curling up next to each other as she gushed. “Oh, it was wonderful!  They were all so bright, and kind.  I read the story, answered a few questions and asked some of my own, and they sang a Christmas carol – “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, if you must know.  It couldn’t have gone better.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.”  His eyes crinkled, as he kissed her knuckles.  “I was hoping it would.  I know how important it is to you.”

Rose just smiled, glancing back over her shoulder towards the tree now dominating their living space.  “Thanks. What’s the plan here, then?”

“When you’re ready, I thought we’d decorate it together.  More of a homemade style, if you’re interested. Everything out there,” he gestured towards the doors, “will be prim and polished and befitting a royal Palace, but in here, I want it to be just a normal married couple celebrating their first Christmas together.”

“Normal, right,” she teased, elbowing him.  “In our one hundred-plus square meter bedroom, with five-meter high ceilings and an army of staff.  Not to mention real, actual, literal crown jewels.  Not just a euphemism!”

Ian rolled his eyes in a good-natured way.  “Decorations are over there, if you want to start.”

“Mhmm, not quite yet.  Tell me about the tree – where did you find it?”

“Find it?”  His tone was somewhat bewildered.  “Didn’t anyone tell you- clearly not.  No, I own some acreage in Germany, all of which is forest.  Clearly we’ve had it zoned for cutting down Christmas trees, and it supplies the Palace and Arcadia’s Town Square with trees every year – sustainably, of course.”

Jaw dropping slightly, Rose wondered if it would ever cease to amaze her at how casually he could mention property and possessions – the land in France, where the family vineyard and winery stood, financing some of their royal lifestyle; a ski chalet in the Swiss Alps just over the border from Gallifrey; a “cottage” on Lake Como; and now this.  “How international of you,” she managed, making him laugh.

“It’s a royalty thing,” Ian grinned.  “Pretty much everything’s been in the family for centuries, at this point – especially land.  Most of it’s dowries from various queens marrying in, back when Europe was littered with royal families.  I think the most recent addition was the purchase of a flat in Paris in the Twenties. My great-grandmother was from Lyon, and met my great-grandfather by happenstance at the vineyard.  As a wedding present he got her the flat, and they’d go up for weeks at a time.”  He coughed. “It wasn’t the best investment in hindsight, but it’s still there and ours, though I don’t think anyone’s been since my parents honeymooned there.  But we can visit at some point, if you like.”

“Not if it’s a problem, but yeah, I’d love that.”  A glance at the tree refocused her.  “Tell me more about the trees, though.”

“The parcel of land came into the family as part of a dowry, as I said, of a Württemberg princess, back when the area was a Duchy in the Holy Roman Empire.  Over time, parts were sold off until just a dozen or so acres remained.  The team that manages the site has been doing so for, oh, two hundred years, so they have it down to a science.  Any excess trees that would be too big after another year of growth are sold – mostly to local governments or other high-ceilinged buildings.  It’s not necessarily a moneymaker, but the sales bring in enough to keep everything operating, which is honestly all I care about.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Rose said truthfully.  “Have you ever been up to see it?”

His brows furrowed in thought.  “As a child, but not recently.  I think Donna took the twins up two years ago to pick one out for Lungbarrow House.  If you like, we can go up next year.”

“I’d like that.”

They fell silent then, admiring the lights strung on the tree. It was nearly hypnotizing, Ian’s steady heartbeat beneath her ear, his warm arms around her, the twinkling lights blinking in and out, all of it working together to lull her to sleep.

And when she slept, she dreamed of wandering through a forest, Ian’s hand in hers, a small child running ahead shrieking with joy.

-

It wasn’t until after dinner they had the opportunity to actually decorate.  While Ian started an instrumental Christmas playlist, Rose opened the first storage container full of decorations – and froze.

“Surprise.”  Her husband’s chuckle behind her made Rose spin, eyes wide.

“You- My- How?”  Speechless, she gestured to the tub, full of her childhood ornaments.

Looking inordinately pleased with himself, he reached in and pulled out the top ornament- clearly school-made, it featured a four-year-old Rose and a toothy grin.  “I called your mum a few weeks ago, and asked her if she had any ornaments you might want put on our tree.  She shipped them out, and they arrived yesterday.  Plus, we brought everything you had in your flat- it’s all combined in this container.”  His smile faltered.  “I hope that’s all right- that I didn’t overstep.  I was very clear I was only asking for things she didn’t mind parting with.”

Overwhelmed, Rose threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”  His arms went easily around her waist.  “This is your home now, and I want it to feel that way.  Over time we’ll build up our own supply of sentimental ornaments, but our individual childhood ones seemed a good start.”

“It is.  I also want to set our own traditions, though.  But you better have similar ones – I don’t want my baby pictures to be the only ones on there!”

Ian laughed.  “They won’t be,” he reassured her.  “I have plenty handmade, awkward picture ornaments as well, and they’re sitting in that box there,” he pointed to the one beneath her own.  “Now, shall we start?”  He handed over the one he’d originally picked up.  “I confess to having rifled through them somewhat, and this was one of my favorites.  I think it should be first on the tree- would you like the honors?”

“Together.”

Hand in hand they stepped up the tree, and by mutual, silent agreement, slid it onto a branch front and center.

“Perfect.”

And it was.

[wrestlingisfake]

Hard to Kill preview

Kenny Omega & Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. Rich Swann & Chris Sabin & Moose - When Kenny Omega won the AEW men’s world title on December 2, he completed a long-simmering heel turn by forming an alliance with Impact Wrestling executive Don Callis.  Omega and Callis began showing up on both Impact and AEW programming acting like Omega is “the real world champion,” which irritated Impact world champion Rich Swann.  Omega also reunited with Impact’s men’s tag team champions, Gallows and Anderson, who had already been having issues with former champs Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley.

This match was originally booked as Omega/Gallows/Anderson vs. Swann/Sabin/Shelley, but the day before the show Impact announced that “unavoidable circumstances” prevented Shelley from traveling to the show in Nashville.  Shelley’s last-minute replacement is Moose, who has recently been feuding with Swann.  For over eight months, Moose has been calling himself the “TNA world champion,” presumably to set up a “who’s the real champion?” match with the Impact world champion.  But that seems kind of silly now that Omega and Swann are kind of doing the same thing, but with more credibility.  So I was hoping they’d get Swann vs. Moose wrapped up before Swann vs. Omega got going.  I certainly wasn’t expecting Moose to be involved in this match.

Because of Omega and the AEW interpromotional angle, this may well be the biggest show Impact has run in years.  So Impact is motivated to deliver the best they can for whatever new audience this match will attract.  The big question is whether AEW is invested enough to send a few of their guys to appear on this show for a hot angle.  Any unadvertised AEW wrestler causing any kind of ruckus on this show will get people talking.  But AEW and Impact seem to be taking their time with this storyline, and they may not think now is the time to drop the next bombshell plot point.

To me, the likeliest finishes are a) Omega’s team dominates and wins to get more heat, or b) Swann scores the winning fall to set up an Omega vs. Swann singles match.  The best setup for that match would be Swann pinning Omega, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.  But if they sell it like Omega’s team are the heavy favorites, and that Omega’s ego is bruised by an upset even if he didn’t lose the fall, then that can still work.  But then again, that was my gut feeling before Moose was added to the match.  Now it feels far more likely that Moose will turn on his partners or walk out on them, which could change the entire complexion of the match.  That uncertainty has me pretty interested in how things unfold.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan - This is billed as a “barbed wire massacre” match, so the ring ropes will be replaced with barbed wire, and objects wrapped in barbed wire will be provided at ringside to use as weapons.  Obviously, in this sort of match nobody is going to be disqualified or counted out. 

I can’t say I understand the storyline leading up to this.  Edwards and Callihan had a vicous feud following a 2018 incident where Callihan botched a spot and hit Edwards in the face with a baseball bat.  Then they seemed to go down separate paths, and then recently Sami and Ken Shamrock started picking on Edwards and his wife for some reason.  The idea now appears to be that these two will never be able to settle it, except that they both clearly put it all aside for the better part of a year.  In any case, they’ve run out of hardcore stips to use in their matches, so here we are.

I believe this is the fourth “barbed wire massacre” match Impact has booked.  The first two were on pay-per-view in 2005 and 2008.  The third was taped for television in 2018, but was only streamed on Twitch because it was “too violent for TV.”  I remember watching the first one (Abyss vs. Sabu) in 2005 and being too squeamish to enjoy the performance.  In matches like this you have to hope the wrestlers know what they’re doing and don’t go too far just to create a “moment.”  But with Callihan and Edwards, that doesn’t apply, so I just have to hope the match was taped in advance, so that if one of them was gravely injured we’d have seen reports about it by now.

Both of these guys are pushed as top acts in Impact, but Callihan always seems to come up short in big matches like this.  I can’t see either guy accepting defeat and letting the feud end.  But if this is really the final chapter, then I think Edwards needs the last laugh more than Sami does.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie - Purrazzo is defending the Impact women’s championship. Valkyrie held the title from January 2019 to January 2020--the longest single reign in the title’s history--but after losing the belt she spent 2020 preoccupied in comedy stuff with Rosemary and John E. Bravo.  So Taya’s doing the whole “you’ve only done so well as champion because I haven’t gotten around to facing you” bit.

I haven’t been able to get into Impact’s women’s division.  I suppose it’s because so many of the characters seem superficial and unserious.  Like, Purrazzo is presented as a solid in-ring performer, but outside the ring she’s the kind of self-absorbed chicken heel who plots with her sidekick to devise ways to duck upcoming challengers.  Impact is full of characters like that, but the women’s division in particular has almost nothing else.  Hell, Taya was playing that role when she was the heel champion.  So I can’t say I’m very motivated to see these two fight.  I also don’t really believe we’re going to get a title change at this point.

Manik vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju - This is a three-way match for the X division championship, so whoever scores the first fall over any opponent will win Manik’s title.  This story started with Bey as champion and Raju as his crony, but Raju was the one henchman in wrestling history who managed to manipulate his boss to his advantage, so Raju won the title from Bey in a three-way with TJP.  Raju was so worried about losing his belt to TJP that he arranged a stipulation where TJP could no longer challenge him.  Then Raju issued an open challenge answered by Manik...the masked man character originally played by TJP.  So now Manik is the champion and definitely not TJP, but Raju and Bey aren’t buying it.

I don’t really care who wins this.  Every time they do a multi-man match for the X title, they demonstrate that multi-man matches don’t settle anything, because there’s always somebody who’s like “Well I wasn’t pinned, so I should get another match!”  So if, for example, Bey pins Raju, you know it’s just going to lead to Bey vs. TJP and/or Manik later.  Except Raju is going to weasel his way into the situation, for another three-way.  (Unless Crazzy Steve is free that weekend, and it’ll be a four-way.)  There’s no direction here. The best thing that could happen to the X title (aside from retiring it as an obsolete relic) is if some AEW guys came in to fight for it.  And I don’t expect that to happen soon.

Havok & Neveah vs. Tasha Steelz & Kiera Hogan - This match is the tournament final to decide which team will be awarded the Impact women’s tag team championship.  The title was originally introduced in 2009, but a lack of interest in booking it properly led to ODB teaming with Eric Young to win the belts in March 2012.  The last title defense I can find was in May 2012, although it took over a year for Impact to officially abandon the championship.

I can see why Impact was motivated to bring the title back, since throughout 2020 most of their women’s roster was paired off in various alliances: Taya Valkyrie & Rosemary, Deonna Purrazzo & Kimber Lee, Kylie Rae & Susie, etc. But just because most of the women on the roster have a natural partner doesn’t mean there are enough women to fill out a tag team division.  I suspect these two teams are going to end up rematching a lot for the tag belts, while the teams they eliminated in the tournament go back to focusing on singles action.  If just having women’s tag titles automatically meant expanding the women’s roster and pushing more women, then that would be great.  But we’ve seen that it doesn’t work that way, not only in WWE, but also the last time Impact tried it.

My gut feeling is that Steelz and Hogan have more future potential, so I’d probably prefer to put the title on them.  But Havok and Neveah have the edge in size and meanness, and I could easily see Impact wanting them to dominate as the champions a la the Road Warriors.

Eric Young & Cody Deaner & Joe Doering vs. Cousin Jake & Rhino & Tommy Dreamer - This is being called an “old school rules” match, which is Impact’s way of saying “ex-ECW guys are in this so we want to say ‘extreme rules’ but WWE trademarked that.” Basically there are no count-outs or disqualifications.  Cody and Jake were a tag team until Deaner became obsessed with proving himself against Young; when he failed, he turned on Jake and joined Young’s group.  Rhino tried to help Jake out, but it wasn’t until Tommy Dreamer got involved that they were able to even the odds.  I’m pretty sure Young’s faction is just getting started and they are going to destroy the babyfaces here.

Ethan Page vs. The Karate Man - Page is one half of The North, which spent most of 2019-2020 dominating the men’s tag team division.  Karate Man is the alter ego of...Ethan Page.  So he’s fighting himself.  That’s always fun.

The backstory here is that the North struggled to recover from losing the tag title earlier this year, and Page grew increasingly desperate to convince Josh Alexander that they could regroup. The tipping point was when Alexander was wrestling Brian Myers and Karate Man interfered, causing Josh to get disqualified.  Page did a skit where he tried to get therapy from Karate Man, before they decided to fight instead.

The bigger story behind all this is that Page’s contract with Impact Wrestling reportedly expired at the end of 2020, so he’s technically not even with the promotion anymore.  Reportedly, this “match” was taped weeks ago.  Just because Page is a free agent doesn’t mean he won’t simply re-sign with Impact at any moment.  But this looks to be his swan song before he moves on...or the pivotal angle that sets up how he’s staying.

Obviously this is going to have to be pre-taped with Patty Duke Show special effects.  I’m not sure if that means it’ll be a ~*~cinematic match~*~ though.  They could do a weird brawl in a weird location like the Boneyard Match or Stadium Stampede, or they could just do it on the normal set in a normal ring and not do anything weird except the split screen effects.  I honestly don’t know what to expect.

Rosemary & Crazzy Steve vs. Tenille Dashwood & Kaleb with a K - Rosemary and Steve used to be in The Decay together years ago, and occasionally Impact remembers that and has them interact.  Tenille is formerly Emma from WWE, playing a stuck-up Instagram influencer gimmick with Kaleb as her personal assistant.  Rosemary already beat Dashwood in the setup to this match, and I don’t think Kaleb is going to last long against Steve, so I guess the weirdo babyfaces will triumph.

Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers - This is scheduled for the pre-show.  As noted above, Alexander and Ethan Page had some issues that came to a head when Page caused Alexander to lose a match to Myers.  So Josh wants to avenge that loss.  It’s kinda funny to me that the serious match about wins and losses and professionalism is on the pre-show while the “Ethan Page beats himself up” comedy is on the main show.  But anyway, it seems like Alexander is headed for a singles push, so he might as well get that started with a win.

[animethings]

Reasons to Watch Long Anime Series

An original post documenting all the reasons to watch long anime series. A long anime series can depend on your own definition. It can be 50+, 500+, or in my case, 980+. I was inspired to create this post by my frustration of trying to convince a friend to start Detective Conan and failing because he is stubborn with his views. I couldn’t even convince him to watch FMA:B or HxH ):

This list is not in any particular order. Blockquotes represent the excuses for not wanting to watch long anime series. The comment below it represents the reasons to watch long anime series and my response to the excuse.

My comments may be negative, condescending, and cynical. It is only because I love the anime franchises of Detective Conan, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hunter x Hunter, Bleach, etc. And even though I haven’t completed many of the popular long anime series, I respect D. Gray-Man, Gintama, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Pokemon, Dragon Ball, Reborn !, and many others.

If I have offended you, it was never my intention. If I hurt your feelings, I never meant to. If you disagree with my reasons and find fault in them, consider my viewpoints and then send me a response. If I come off as ignorant, politely inform me. If I bashed your favourite anime or character, it was only an example. If I haven’t defended your favourite anime or character, oops. If I repeat myself, it is because the excuses are similar. If you have another excuse / reason, let me know and I’ll add it here.

It’s too long.

Imagine if your favourite seasonal anime went with a perennial episodic structure rather than a seasonal one. Would you still have started it ? A seasonal structure is more profitable and less risky to studios and can be just as many episodes as anime with a perennial episodic structure. It depends on the studio and scriptwriters.

Anime TV series are usually split up into many seasons. Treat the anime like you’re watching the entire series as separately released seasons and not one singular continuous season. Example: Blue Exorcist has 2 seasons and is listed separately on anime databases while D. Gray-Man is listed as a single entry with many episodes even though it has 5 seasons. Why do you insist on watching Blue Exorcist instead of D. Gray-Man when the genres are similar and they are both mainly about exorcists fighting demons to keep the world a safer place ? Maybe you’re more into the plot, or maybe the animation is better, or maybe you’re unwilling to watch an anime that isn’t listed as multiple seasons, or maybe you’re just intimidated by the number of episodes and seasons. Whatever the reason is, don’t judge an anime by the amount of episodes it has. Don’t judge an anime franchise by whether it is of a perennial or a seasonal episodic structure.

I can watch 5 other anime instead of just this one.

True, you could watch multiple 12 ep anime instead of one long anime, but would it be memorable ? If you binge a 12 ep anime, each around 20 min long ( excluding openings and endings ), at 1x speed, that is 240 min, which is 4 hours. After those 4 hours, you would be like wow great anime 10/10 or whatever rating you give. Maybe give a review or recommendation. Then, you’d move on to the next anime. If the anime didn’t leave a lasting impression on you, what was the point ? Just to say that you’ve seen it and vaguely remember the plot and your opinion on it the next time that particular anime is brought up in conversation ?

Although being held emotionally hostage is tough and terrifying, a long anime would leave a greater impression. You can witness character growth / development, plot progression, and many other storytelling elements at a much greater level. Maybe you don’t have all the time in the world to watch 100+ episodes of an anime. But you can also come back time and time again with fresh perspectives instead of force-feeding shorter anime in a day.

Yes, this is a hypothetical, and may not apply to everyone. I am only asking for you to consider that situation and my perspective; you do not have to agree with it.

I’ll get bored

The other fans of the franchise didn’t get bored. If the anime has become increasingly boring, then put it on hold. I acknowledge the fact that sometimes the animators / creators will run out of stories to tell. If it’s not your cup of tea, then by all means, drop it. You can come back whenever you want to give the anime a try again. 

I don’t want to watch a lot then quit.

No one is forcing you to quit the anime entirely. There is no pressure to watch every single episode. You can put it on hold and come back later. An indefinite drop can be reversed.

What if the anime becomes increasingly worst, unwatchable, annoying, etc. over time ?

If it does become that before you hit the latest episode, then put it on hold, drop it, or talk with your friends / the anime community about it and ask if the series gets better later on. If you are already caught up and think that the anime has decreased in quality, put it on hold or drop it.

I’ll watch too much at a time, get burnt out, and not come back to it

No one is forcing you to binge watch every single episode in a certain timeframe. You can always take a break or watch a few and come back later.

What if I don’t like the main cast or find one of them annoying ? I would have to stick with them for the rest of the anime.

Then put it on hold, drop it, or deal with it. As of 06 September 2020, I am on episode 44 of One Piece and I find Usopp absolutely annoying and unlikable. However, I have been told that he gets better. So, I continue the series because I like the other main cast and am invested in the story and the world of One Piece. Additionally, I’ve been reading the Black Clover manga way before the anime released and imagined Asta’s voice differently. I got used to his annoying voice over time and still continue the anime because I love the story and I want to see who eventually becomes the Wizard King. ( His voice also haunts me when I read the manga now )

Too many filler / fluff episodes

Google >> ( Anime ) non-filler episodes >> Watch according to that list

Also, I do not find filler episodes to be boring or straying away from the main plot. Filler episodes provide me with more interactions between the characters that regular anime ( with 12 or 24 episodes ) don’t have. Although it may seem unnecessary to some, filler flashbacks gives the audience a deeper insight into a character’s backstory, childhood, past experiences, traumatic experiences, etc. It can show character growth or development. The adventures to other areas expands the universe of the anime and leads to more world-building. The stories and possibilities are also limitless in comedy anime. Filler episodes can also introduce more aspects of Japanese culture ( or whatever the culture is prevalent ) and introduces new information.

Fillers between arcs are nice since most are slice-of-life types and setting up for the next arc. If you think that each arc is the same where there is a threat / enemy and they must defeat the final boss or everyone will die, yes that’s the basic formula. But keep in mind that it is a story after all. The arc is a larger story with the same characters doing different things to solve their problems. So what ? Some series are known for their consistencies and some for their randomness. Just like how almost every Detective Conan episode ( DC doesn’t have arcs unless it’s about the main plot ) is about solving cases and follows the same basic formula, and almost every episode of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K is random, spontaneous and full of comedy. I don’t watch shoujo anime as often so I won’t comment on that.

There are also many other reasons that fluff episodes are great. You don’t always have to watch them, and the wait may not always be worth it, but you can always skip them and not miss anything. But then again, Detective Conan was my first anime and I’ve learned how to be patient with an extremely slow plot. My patience is especially challenged whenever a new episode releases and it is a TV original Detective Boys episode ((:

While some shows are known to stretch plots into more episodes, those episodes may not be of the same “ quality ” as the rest of the show. This may included tropes, overused jokes, etc. It is still considered additional content, even if the quality suffers. This is usually the case when the anime catches up to the source material. You can always read the manga.

Filler / Fluff episodes are always controversial and I generally don’t mind them.

What if the anime cancels and all of the time I spent watching it has been a waste ?

Long anime series are rarely ever canceled because it’s a popular show. The anime usually tries to catch up with the manga and / or ends when the story ends. If the anime does end at a particular arc, there is always the manga. Also, if you had fun / a good time watching the show, then it wasn’t a waste.

I don’t want to.

Why ? Elaborate. Do you not like the genre ? The plot ? The animation style ? The studio ? The reviews ? The popularity ? The year it was released ? The fandom ? The voice actors ? The over-hype ? The pressure from friends, family, the anime community ? The memes ? What is it ?

It’s a waste of time.

The time investment is usually worth it because there is more to watch. Whenever I watch regular anime with 12 or 24 episodes, I usually end up feeling empty and wanting more. Who doesn’t want more content, scenes and character interactions ? If you enjoy something, then it wasn’t a waste of time.

Too many characters

Google >> ( Anime ) Characters Wiki / Fandom

You don’t have to know and remember every single character, their backstories, their interests / dislikes, their relationships with others, etc. to enjoy the episode. Additionally, if you really do pay attention to the series and is more invested, character deaths / losses will be even more impactful and significant. Characters can die easily ( like in Attack on Titan), but it doesn’t make their death any less important. Lives, fictional or not, have value and meaning. If in a war, 100 lives are lost, those lives are important in itself becau- oh that is probably a post for another time. Anyways, you don’t need to know everyone to understand or enjoy an episode or an anime series. 

Quantity isn’t everything.

True. Sometimes the quality of animation rules over everything else, or maybe the plot pacing, or the character progression ( or the lack of it ), or something else. I’m not saying, WATCH ALL ANIME THAT IS OVER 100+ EPISODES BECAUSE THEY’RE BETTER. I’m saying to give them a chance. They’ve stood against the test of time, the changing audience, popular demand and culture, and other obstacles to get where they are today. Some are classics ( such as Naruto ) and some are beginning to / have hit the 100 episode mark of single entry anime ( like Black Clover ). Quantity isn’t everything is a valid point as well as quality isn’t everything. You enjoy what you enjoy. It’s never a waste to commit to something longer than what you usually watch if you enjoy it.

I want to finish everything I watch, regardless if it’s good or bad.

So you can sit through 12 episodes of a “ bad ” anime but not try out a single episode of a potentially “ good ” anime ?

Other Reasons to Watch:

When a long series ends, I can finally rest in peace.

Soundtracks + More opening and closing themes

Nostalgia once it ends

Seeing an anime from 1996 to 2020+ and the changes it goes through ( when rewatching or watching for the first time ) is astounding and shows how much the industry has changed and developed over time.

Conclusions + Repeated Statements

Main excuse for not watching long anime: It’s too long

Main response: No one is forcing you or pressuring you to binge watch everything. You can always put it on hold or drop it if you don’t like it.

Don’t judge an anime by the number of episodes.

If you had a good time, it wasn’t a waste.

[raku-fansubs]

An Eraser in My Head: Special Letter

Can I just say... if you’ve ever heard any of Kaji’s reading live, you’ll get addicted to it. This is an excerpt from the reading released yesterday, adaptation of A Moment to Remember (Japanese: 私の頭の中の消しゴム; Hepburn: Atama no Naka no Keshigomu, lit. "An Eraser in My Head").

EDIT: Kaji also put up a behind-the-scenes of the recording for this on his channel (see here). 

Based on the 2001 Japanese melodrama Pure Soul: Even if You may Forget me (Japanese: Pure Soul 〜君が僕を忘れても〜; Hephurn: Pure Soul: Kimi ga Boku wo Wasuretemo), later adapted into a South Korean film in 2004 by the same title as this reading. It follows the theme of discovery in a relationship and the burdens of loss caused by Alzheimer's disease. [Wikipedia]

The schedule is as follows (available 10 days from starting date):

2 May 2020 (Sat): Kaji Yuki x Takagaki Ayahi

5 May 2020 (Sat): Fukuyama Jun x Manaka Ayu

8 May 2020 (Sat): Kato Kazuki x Ikoma Rina

15 May 2020 (Fri): Hirose Tomoki x Taketatsu Ayana

https://geki-keshigomu.spwn.jp/

https://ch.nicovideo.jp/geki-keshigomu

Unfortunately, Kaji’s session is now only available on nico for ¥3,000. I bought my ticket on the spwn platform and it came with several options: (¥3,000 for normal entry;  ¥5,000 incl. pamphlet;  ¥5,500 incl. script;  ¥7,500 incl. pamphlet, script and postcards) so of course I had to get the last deal since I NEED that pamphlet and postcards. Keshigomu takes super high quality photos *coughs* I swear I’m not just after more ring shots of Kaji (Note: in case you’re new here, I’ve explained before about why Keshigomu’s pamphlets have ring shots)... and yes, TOTALLY not so that I can make poor-taste photo merging like this （*ﾟーﾟ）

Anyway, my point is... THIS WAS SO GOOD (I’m also trying to ignore the fact that Ayachi is part of the cast but not with Kaji) but regardless, his performance with Takagaki was great. I’ve been hearing rumours (good ones) about this particular project for YEARS so I’m so glad I finally got an opportunity to hear it from where I am. I swear, if I ever make plans to visit Japan again, I’ll schedule it during the period this is held (if they cast Kaji again). This must be experienced live in a theater... 

One of the many reasons why I’m particularly invested in this show, is because his 2018 performance with Iitoyo Marie has been passed down like a legend among his fans. Long story short, he apparently cried his eyes out in that session, which is extremely rare for Kaji to do something like that live. Here’s a recent interview of him talking about the incident with the actress playing his partner then:

The actress and fashion model Iitoyo Marie, who co-starred in "An Eraser in My Head," has been invited for an interview that covers a wide range of topics, from acting to fashion, and it was truly an endless talk.

Q: I heard that you and Kaji performed together for the first time in the reading play "An Eraser in My Head". Can you tell us about your impressions of each other at that time?

Kaji: It's been about two years now?

Iitoyo: It has been 2 years.

Kaji: You're an actress who also works as a model, so my first impression was that you looked like someone who came out of a magazine (laughs). Even though we only had a short time to perform after two or three rehearsals, I felt that we had grown quite close during that time. If you think about it, that reading play was the only time we've worked together. However, I still have vivid memories of that time.

Iitoyo: It only lasted about 3 days, really. Didn't you think, "This girl hasn't practiced at all? (laughs) I was worried that I came off as an under-prepared actor.

Kaji: No, no (laughs). Anyway, the way you got into the show was amazing. Iitoyo-san’s gear completely switched from the rehearsal.

Iitoyo: That's not it, I was just really inspired by Kaji-san. That was the first time I had the opportunity to work with a voice actor. We work in different genres, but I assumed that acting is universal, so I was simply curious how he would act, yet he approached it in a completely different way! It was so shocking, that I thought for a second, if Kaji-san was serious about coming into the world of live-acting, the rest of us would be in quite a panic. He pulled me through the act, so I felt safe and entrusted to him, and the weight of each line felt completely different. Also, in the scene where Kaji-san was crying (during rehearsal), I thought "Kaji-san must really be crying now" and looked to my side, but he didn't shed a single tear at all! Not at all!

Kaji: I was crying on the inside! (laughs)

Iitoyo: But I was surprised that there were no tears at all. He sounded like he was really crying, so I asked him, "How can you do that?" When I asked him about it, he told me that in anime, there are often scenes that transition immediately, and those happen even right after an emotional scene. So voice actors have to be able to adapt to the next scene quickly, without being caught up with the emotions from the previous scene. 

Kaji: I'm surprised you still remember that conversation.

Iitoyo: I was so impressed at that technique! But later on in the real session, Kaji-san was bawling his eyes out, with tears overflowing (laughs). I was just so happy about that! It made me genuinely happy to know that even a voice actor like Kaji-san "broke" and gone off the rails in a good way, and that's how great the show was. So it was unforgettable.

Kaji: I’m hardly the type to shed tears, but it was not the same in that performance. Not to say that’s precisely the reason why, but even though it was only a short time, it felt like a very fulfilling acting experience. That’s also why Iitoyo-san has left a deep impression on me. 

Iitoyo: Since then, we’ve had quite a lot of clashes at work, haven’t we? 

Kaji: That’s right, strangely enough. We haven’t had the opportunity to co-act directly though. But for some odd reasons, every once in a while I’ll notice that I see your name on the cast lineup again. 

Iitoyo: It’s not that easy to find people like that especially from a different industry, so I’ve always felt a strange connection.  

[Interview & Photo Source] Kaji Yuki en.365°PHOTO BOOK 

P.S. As you can see, my scanner’s crap so I don’t have a habit of scanning photos. But if you’re just curious to have a look at the other pictures in the book, feel free to ask and I can take some casual low-quality photos of the contents. 

Also I swear all I wanted to do was share that one-minute clip, please don’t ask me why I ended up spamming this chunk of words ‘cause I seriously have no idea myself (ಠ_ಠ)