#and if you want to see films that do explore themes like that. maybe its time to break away from disney

[notbecauseofvictories]

50/50

Well, 2024 sure did...happen.

Anyway! I didn't set any sort of goal to watch 50 films and read 50 books this year, but that's where I ended up. Neither number is exactly accurate, and I'm leaving out television, revisiting what I've already read/watched, and all the ridiculous novels I pick up when I'm hungover, but still. I'm kind of impressed with myself. I didn't get to 50 books last year, and I don't think I've watched 50 movies in a year ever---but the more I watch them, the more I explore what they can do and communicate, the more I want to see. As a lifelong reader, it's interesting to explore a new kind of art, to try and intuit your way in through a strikingly different form of communicating the exact same humanness.

TOP FIVE 2024

FILMS

The Florida Project (2017)

Crimes of the Future (2022)

M (1931)

Something in the Dirt (2022)

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2021)

It's been months and months since I saw The Florida Project, and I still think about it. The bright and artificial sherbet coloring of it; the dank and mold and shadows that linger around the edges....Actually, I think of all these films in terms of their aesthetics first. Not that there wasn't a story there, but because they all represent such a marriage with form. Consider Crimes of the Future with its fading decay, its browns and rust; M with its stylized, refined cityscape even in the greyscale of 30s cinema; Something in the Dirt where every shot is mundane, or fantastical or both; and We're All Going to the World's Fair, with the particular blue-grey loneliness of the internet age. Surely the benefit of watching a movie (as opposed to anything else) is being presented with something to watch, and I like when directors and creative teams understand that.

Honorable mention to American Psycho (2000) since I'm still a little insane about it---or maybe Corsage (2022) because whether or not it was a good movie, it was nevertheless the most uncompromising, brutal portrait of a historical figure I've seen.

BOOKS

The Rehearsal, Eleanor Catton

Big Swiss, Jen Beagin

Vintner's Luck, Elizabeth Knox

Wylding Hall, Elizabeth Hand

Diavola, Jennifer Thorne

Some people may try to tell you that horror is a discrete genre---I am here to tell you that it's not. All great novels are horror stories, and those listed above especially. From The Rehearsal's self-important artistes, to the therapy-speak Millennials of Big Swiss, to the musicians of Wylding Hall (who miss every sign that Something Is Happening) and the Pace family of Diavola (who deny that the signs mean anything, even after fleeing their vacation home in the night)....all these novels are a study in people experiencing something painful, even terrible. And yet, that provides incredibly fertile territory for their authors to explore the things that come with horror---complicity, desire for closeness, narration and performance, the open wound of family, the thin netting of modernity that keeps us from plunging into something older and darker than we can comprehend.

The only exception might be Vintner's Luck. Not because it's not there as a theme, but because the novel itself spans the narrator's life. By the time he's middle-aged he's committed so many errors, he can't judge too harshly when others do. In this respect it's almost an answer to the questions horror poses---not just how do you survive this? but how do you go on, having survived that?

Honorable mention to Dead Inside, by Chandler Morrison, because it was stomach-turning in the very best way. Echoes of Cipher by Kathe Koja---when an author really knows, really understands, how to wield grossness without shirking or apologizing for it, the result is delightful.

Books of 2020 | Books of 2021 | Books of 2022 | Books of 2023

[poorlittlevampire]

i do think disney movies have gone down in quality (for many reasons) but i also think. perhaps. some of us are expecting way too much out of movies meant for. children

[sneakydraws]

Ok so! As per the wishes of @chernychnyi and others and also myself, here's a little analysis/rant about the boreo front bottoms lyricstuck thing I did. Because of tumblrs 30 image limit I had to fuse some of the frames and also couldn't fit in the unused frames I really wanted to mention - so those will get plonked down in a separate post I think. Ok let's roll

To begin with, the pov - I didn't exactly plan ahead on this regard, I kind of just listened to the song and experienced visions of tgf scenes to go along with the lyrics, but once I picked this project back up after half a year of letting it sit in my procreate files I definitely saw a sort of narrative form around it. Most of what I had was very much from Boris's pov and about Theo. The tone was sort of protective, sort of desperate, sort of penitent, sort of possessive? I'll elaborate on it later but I basically ended up exploring a lot of the ambiguous or unhealthy elements of the boreo dynamic, and realising that when I was maybe 70% done made me lean more purposefully into that angle in the remaining frames. So for example in this frame, even though they're both indisputably wiry and broke down, I choose to make this about Theo because Boris is the worldly, knowledgeable survivor to Theo's harrowed newcomer. There's a fragility to Theo that's less visible, and maybe less present, in Boris.

Like in this line, which has a great air of warning or instruction to it, like the singer is trying to brace their friend for what's to come. I actually struggled hardcore with this frame! Because I knew I wanted this image of Theo reaching toward the surface of the pool, but it arguably made more sense in the "jaws theme song on repeat" lyric (since it's Boris pulling Theo down)... I ended up sticking it here because I wasn't sure what else to replace it with but I think it's kind of a happy mistake because it right off the start showcases the dichotomy in Boris and Theo's relationship and its more toxic aspects - Boris pulling Theo down visually in one frame, but promising to help him swim in the lyrics in the next.

I don't think it came through so well but I wanted the previous panel to have a bright sun streaming light through Theo's fingers, and the blazing desert sun in this frame to echo that - the sun as the element of danger, Boris's opposite. The positioning of light as danger and shade as safety is a trope I sometimes drift towards in queer narratives and it definitely goes back to that heartbeat short film I didn't even like that much...

Maybe my all time favourite scene to depict with teenage boreo - Boris dragging a dead drunk Theo off the street... I love it because it's so rarely we see Boris be the responsible one, the one doing what's Supposed to be done

I really wish I'd had the time and the motivation to spruce this up really well because in some points I envisioned really clearly the kind of transition I'd want to have... I would have loved for the camera to swoosh down and do a little overshoot into this frame, so some of the dynamic of the punch is carried into the visuals. Oh well! Apparently this line (like the song itself) is actually about heroine usage, but here it's Larry and Theo - I feel like a snakebite is an apt metaphor for this punch, with its sheer unexpectedness

The nightmare comfort is a must have of course... I was kind of afraid I was repeating myself with how often I use this kind of scene with this exact framing ahahaha

Massively difficult shot to pull off because I wanted the distortion to be prominent and for Boris and Theo to be really small in the frame but for it to still be mostly readable!! Anyway this is their weird drunken hookups, which I think fit this line not because secret teenage hookups are inherently evil or anything but like. I do think the way they're never ever addressed and the shame associated with them in Theo's narration give them a definite air of unhealthiness. A red flag... A warning sign, if you will

I actually think at one point the drunken teenage sex went here, with the undertone being that Boris realises there's something wrong about it but doesn't stop anyway? But that's kind of muddled, and the much more obvious choice is the theft of the painting. And the "amount to take/reasons to take more" plays well with Boris's habit of stealing random shit from Theo already before moving on to the big fish

The reunion! I play Boris as catching on well to the inauthenticity and comphetness (as well as comp-normie-ness) of Theo's little life - and reminiscing, I suppose, on how unsurprising it is that he'd end up pulled in this direction, trying to run away from the trauma and shame of his real self. There's also a little guilt here on Boris's part, a little bit of a feeling of culpability - carried over from the theft of the painting and the never-addressed sex, and echoed in a second in the guilt or regret of letting Theo leave like he did, betrayed and deceived.

This line maybe doesn't ring one hundred percent true because neither of Theo's Vegas guardians really gave enough of a shit about him to "pray he would change", but they do judge and shame him occasionally for his weakness, his trauma and so on, so I think it works. And (although I had to push this line onto Boris's frame simply to have an excuse to show his face) they "close their eyes" to Theo's real self and the sheer horror of his experiences... Hm

Of course Theo cuts his own hair and sends himself away before anyone else can but you know. Too perfect of a fit

Definitely my favourite and cleverest moment - theo "stops by Boris's house", i.e.by their common home, the night he escapes... Boris begs him to stay (another day so he can get the painting)... And the omitting of "I love you but" from Theo's written dialogue, with the massive conspicuous gap in the word bubble, was something I thought of early on. The unsaid "I love you"? Too fucking good not to exploit. And NGL it feels good to be like ooohoho I'm not just matching visuals to existing lyrics, I'm manipulating them to fit my own narrative and engaging in a dialogue with the lyrics or whatever... Hehe

This is the scene where Boris announces he'll run away and Theo immediately says he'll come with. But the important thing to note is that I found out about different shoelacing techniques and made Boris ladder lace his jungle boots

This and the previous lyric, although the visuals show two different scenes, both relate to Theo's apprehension about how following Boris around will surely lead to no good, especially without a plan. Boris through the lyrics is saying don't worry about it, we'll figure something out!

Umm so I drew this with lighting speed as I was editing the whole thing lollll I totally forgot about the instrumental parts and just how LONG they were... I needed something to fill up the space ahahaha. But it's vaguely supposed to hark back to the scene after Mr pavlikovsky beats up Boris, what with the bottle of vodka and the bloody nose and the unconcerned laughter

The pool frolic! Very appropriate. We've got the obligatory moon cameo, and I made sure the pool and the sky were the same stark shade of black so it feels like boris and Theo are hanging between two equally real worlds, plunging into the starry night...

I just remembered that Boris's bracelets pop in and out of existence a lot ahahaha oops! But this is of course essentially the same scene as the "it's gonna look like mud" lyric, only more literal this time. Admittedly this lyric is moreso from Theo's pov, which is a bit out of place here although I do play around with the pov a little later

One of the first frames I'd envisioned I think! I mean come on. And a great example of how the singer really emphasises certain words, so I punch them up a bit by capitalising them

This was actually a struggle because Boris is such an action oriented character - the stupid shit he says doesn't actually have that many consequences! But eventually I thought it would be fitting to show one of the scenes where a semi malicious joke or a mostly innocuous remark activates Theo's internalised homophobia - i ended up going with his comment about Hobies letter.

More timeskip normieness! The spark and look of Theo's I consider artificial, like the flash of the cameras poised to capture the kiss between the engaged couple's, and the look hidden behind the anime shine of Theo's glasses... I could have spent more time showing that but I'll be honest this was one of the last lines I had to illustrate and I was getting impatient. The "I will not be brave" was a tricky one - I kind of wanted it to relate to Boris's selfishness maybe, in taking Theo away from his fiancée? Like, he will not do the noble thing by stepping away and instead Will try to drag Theo back into his life... Though that itself is motivated by a sort of penitent guilt

Again, Boris trying to find a space for Theo in his life - maybe Theo can work for him! Or with him! Anything, god, just forgive me!

I'm a little annoyed because I remember having a good idea for these lines and then I forgot it!! But with this I ended up gesturing vaguely to some reasons why Boris acts like he does - taking control of the life seemingly subject to his dad's whims and work travel, rebelling by imitating his father's worst habits - something something the paradoxical repulsion towards his father and need to imitate or one-up or outdo him...

For a while these lines were both on Boris's back as he stands in front of Hobie's shop. Then I ended up splitting them in two, but they're the same theme - Boris taking responsibility for his actions and trying to atone for his betrayal of Theo. First by tracking the painting down and coming, drenched, to inform Theo of his progress (that scene is one of my favourites between theo and Boris actually) and then by desperately running after the boy when it seems he might carry it off and destroy it forever (another favourite because it showcases Boris's desperation to earn back Theo's trust).

Also, didn't fit it here but the second instrumental section has Theo's face on it - to make a set with the earlier Boris drawing, and they're opposites because Boris's eyes aren't visible while Theo's are the only part of his face visible, and Theo's worried frown suggests that he sees through Boris's jolliness somewhat, and also! It signals a switch to Theo's pov for the final few lines!

Another line that leapt out at me from the beginning - xandra's ominous yet oddly romantic prediction that Theo will follow Boris wherever, even to a prison cell. This is actually kind of funny because initially I thought a twin sized mattress was a mattress for two - and I connected this to xandra's belief that Boris and Theo will always be a set of two, connected at the hip. It wasn't until I googled the lyrics and read the genius annotations that i realized it was the exact opposite - but luckily for me, the connection still kind of works? Maybe not so well for this panel but for the next two for sure:

Like, my initial thought was that they were both cursed to sleep on a two-person mattress alone, with an empty space next to them - but the literal half-empty double bed can also work as a metaphorical single bed, so... Win? And of course there's complicated messaging going on because, like, their sharing a bed is simultaneously something too adult for their teenaged friendship and something from their childhood to haunt them into adulthood, causing them to never "graduate" into a typical adult relationship no matter how hard Theo tries... And the "somebody's attic or basement" fits in with Theo settling in to weltys bedroom... And of course Boris sleeping in Theo's bed after xabdra takes pity on him, an idea I'd touched on before... Not to mention the "let's go home" "home?" "My place. Whatever" exchange that I loooooooooooveeeeeee

And the final frames! I had to consult @frozenladybug for some storyboarding help because while I knew what theme I wanted I couldn't think of a scene... The idea is that Theo will forever be haunted by his past - hence the nightmares - but that now Boris is there to support him, happy end. Flb came up with the "standing by the window" idea which I love because!!! First of all, dawn is breaking, which signals the end of the troubled night but also brings forth the antagonistic sun - almost as a symbol of the night of Boris and Theo's early relationship, dark and dangerous but full of an odd camaraderie and haunted by the Boriscoded moon, ending. But what comes after that night is a different relationship, with its own challenges but maybe changed for the better... And in this scene Boris comforts Theo by physical contact and a cup of tea (hehe) instead of the desperate clutch of their early years - less intense and physical but maybe healthier and less codependent? I'm kind of freestyling but there's something there. I had thoughts during this project about how Boris calming Theo after his nightmares is almost more parental than romantic and how it allows Theo to cling to boris one-sidedly and how it might change with time... Idk, some personal musings played a part as well and it's definitely a reach but that's what was on my mind. Either way, happy bittersweet boreo ending and lemme go and make that rejected drawings post real quick now

[literallys-illiteracy]

EGO-Less Mirror Dungeon Abnormalities:

Well now this is 1 tenth off of my to-do List, theres still over forty left im pretty sure

Resident of metropolaris

Highway devotee

Spider of Marrige

KQE-1j-23

Wandering Mind

Resident of Metropolaris:

The only other major thing to note is the “Polaris” section, with Polaris being the north star, or the stationary star directly towards the North Pole.

Metropolis on its own is a word used to refer to the largest or most important city in an area or country.

--

I will be quite frank, reading through this abnormalities event the first time I couldn’t gain anything from the thematic, mostly thinking “huh that was weird” and moving on.

On hearing the suggestion that this abnormality was based on the novel “Metropolis” which I had read a long time ago and could not remember in detail, I became more intrigued in this abnormality before promptly forgetting about it entirely.

For the record I chose which abnormalities I analyse via a random number generator, with 4 random numbers, and then one of choice — I did not choose this abnormality in particular, mostly as a didn’t want to re read metropolis. Maybe if I do go back to read it one day, I will also return to this abnormality, but both of those are unlikely considering the size of my reading list.

Primarily, the theme of this abnormality relates back to the city itself, relating back to the taboo’s of the nests acting to “protect” those within their care, with the citizen stating “If nobody can touch each other, then nobody can hurt each other”

Though the taboo’s of the nests, and the rules of the city at large, may seem strange and absurd to outsiders, akin to the odd rules of this Metropolaris, following the rules of the city, though risking the seemingly painful repercussions of breaking the taboos, with the citizen itself stating that it hurts, it is far better than living outside the organised structure of the city.

Now onto my conjecture regarding the novel and film Metropolis and its possible relations:

in this story, the metropolis is a technologically advanced city, seemingly perfect, yet fuelled by the slave labour of a hidden lower class — The link to the city itself may be drawn, being fuelled by the unseen suffering of those deemed less valuable, however it is more so that both cities are a criticism of Capitalism as a whole.

The more important link to the novel is in the ending, with the statement that "There can be no understanding between the hands and the brain unless the heart acts as mediator." potentially relating to the taboo of the citizens not seeing or touching each other, and this, never reaching an understanding, the linking of the lower and upper classes can never be made without the joining of their hands, however if the workers remain out of sight, fall silent, it is as if there was never any suffering in the first place.

Highway Devotee

Potentially related to the abnormality released in the next dungeon set, as both this and “explorer on a bereaved Road” seem to share a thematic, however we will discuss that at a later date.

I personally believe that this abnormality relates back to he concept of being stuck in a position in your life, which is oddly enough the exact thematic that The King In Binds uses — Milepost is a term often used for an achievement, similar to milestone. The name “Milepost of Survival” seems to invoke the concept of someone living their life, reaching a crossroad as they travel, a marking point for how long they have survived.

The Main road will block you in, trap you in a stagnant, singular role for what seems like an eternity, who knows when the next time you will come upon a crossroad like this one, Its Longer Than You Think.

The Alternative, the byway, represents taking a shortcut in life, cheating to gain a position, an action which the gods of… Traffic, will not look kindly on.

Spider of Marriage:

This Abnormality is about toxicity in marriage. That is clear to even those who have no media literacy. The married couple is stitched together, trapped in this nest by the brambles of the celebratory flowers. The couple, being stitched together, is constantly losing blood, needing to suffer in order to hold themselves, and by extension each other, up and moving.

The literary reference is me thinking constantly that this joke is funny: The EGO gift that is given by this abnormality is named “Prejudice” and is a pride affinity EGO gift. Pride and Prejudice is a novel by the author Jane Austen, published in 1813-

A large portion of the novel focuses around the conventions of marriage at the time, being that many marries are not borne out of love, not from the heart, but rather the wallet.

While I do think the reference within the EGO gift to be intentional, I do not believe that the abnormality itself is directly inspired by the theme within the novel.

All together, this abnormality is quite simple, acting as a very direct and obvious message towards the conventions of marriage and the expectation to remain with a partner for life, while also acting as a metaphor for marriage as a while, healthy nor not, with the couple’s reliance on one another in order to survive at all.

KQE-ij-23:

If you are unaware, this abnormalities code is O-06-20-02, in Lobotomy Corporation, the code for the abnormality “Nothing There” is O-06-20.

What does this mean? I dont fucking know???

My best bet at a linkage between these two is the fact that this abnormality seems to be partially a human, or rather, this abnormality is a robot which has been designed as a human? Maybe the other way round?

The opening lines establish that it seems to be leaking blood, rather than oil or antifreeze like a robot would; The [Hello] Option gives the line “in its movements you feel a plea for help”, but this isn’t brought back up at any point in the encounter nor logs again?; The Terminal on its chest, alongside the original two lines being [Hello] and [Goodbye], could be linked to the hole in NT-’s third phase where the lines match while having a hole in its chest?

The final major link to Nothing There is the fact that it says it appears to be “Incomplete”, akin to the way in which Nothing There will never become a human, and is thus always incomplete, simply being a shell undergoing its rote programming and basic observations of humans (wait hold on).

Okay I wrote that last part and had somewhat of an epiphany regarding this theory, the link between the incomplete nature of the machine and the endlessly seeking nature of the Tour Guide, with the Tour guide’s event claiming to have an “administrator”, which has left it incomplete — This is/Was the only Abnormality to have the keyword “Mechanical Amalgam”, linking back to this “Incomplete nature” and reliance on what it has been programmed to do, it is possible that, even if not directly linked to Nothing There, it is almost certainly of the same ilk relating to the theme of being an “Incomplete Human”.

O-04-84 is the Abnormality code of Meat Lantern in Lobotomy Corporation; F-04-21-03 is the Abnormality code of Faelantern in Limbus Company — Limbus Company uses a different abnormality classification system to Lobotomy Corporation. Even Aberrations dont share the same code across games, meaning that my statement about KQE being of the same ilk but not directly related is almost certain, and as we all know, I am never wrong (not legally binding).

Wandering Mind:

So, Starting off with the abnormality’s EGO gifts this time: Phantom Pain is the sensation of feeling pain from a non existent, amputated body part, most commonly Limbs.

Mirror Touch (touch is basically the same word as tactile) Synesthesia is a phenomenon where, upon observing another person, may feel the same or a similar sensation on an area of their body (E.g., Seeing someone touch their cheek and feeling a sensation in your own cheek) — This condition may be acquired following amputation due to sensory loss.

. Finally, the name of the abnormality itself: a “wandering Mind” is often used as a term for when one has thoughts unrelated to, nor produced by, current tasks or stimuli.

Both EGO gifts have names referencing tactile hallucinations, both of which may often be related to amputation, which is fitting due to the lack of arms in the abnormality itself.

This Abnormality is also, in some way shape or form, is linked to Cathy, as the EGO gift “Handheld Mirror” requires the latter EGO gift to create, and as the form of “Every Catherine” is similarly grey and arm-less in appearance.

The opening lines of this encounter are vague, relating to the concept of a wandering mind, settling within this shell of a human.

A mind never occupied in the present, only wandering, wondering what could have been, blindly reaches out to touch anything with its illusory hands.

Attempting to reach out to it, to grab its hand, reveals these hands to be an illusion, to be “Something that should not have been made visible”- a fact that the Abnormality seems to know — Recoiling after this, it turns into a small statue, the Gift “Phantom Pain”, lacking the small orb which hovered in the chest of the abnormality.

I want to note the imagery of a black hole that has been used within this abnormalities artwork, the event horizon centring the torso, the Singularity being placed where the heart would be.

The concept of Phantom pain, in this abnormality, may not specifically relate to the phantom hands, but rather the heart, the hurting from what is no longer there, the hole in the place of the heart acting to draw everything in, to consume, only to realise that it no longer has any means nor motive to do so.

Once again we are able to relate this abnormality to Catherine, or rather to Heathcliff, no longer having a reason to hurt, feeling empty as they have lost their heart.

[positivelybeastly]

As a Hank McCoy stan, I must ask your opinion on a little idea.

A fan film about Beast.

No action, no battle, some drama, but overall a far quieter X-Men film that explores a side of Hank we don't see much if at all. His parental side.

Maybe he finds a lost or abandoned child and takes them under his care. But because this new character is human, this causes some problems. But in the end, Hank and the child agree to face the future ahead of them, no matter how hopeless it may seem.

What's your input?

First off, nice to meet you! Always a pleasure to see a fellow Beast stan in the wild, so to speak - and I like that there seem to be more of us over time; we're gathering strength, it seems.

Secondly, I think there would be a lot of mileage in this sort of project! X-Men is, at its heart, a metaphor about racism, prejudice, civil injustice, and I think it would be really interesting to examine those themes through an under-explored lens (at least in comic books), that of interracial adoption and parenthood.

You would, of course, have to be careful about the line to be struck between allegory and reality - this is always something I try my best to keep in mind when writing Hank, because yes, he is visibly mutated, and yes, in-universe, he is subject to prejudice as a result, but you generally have to make the struggles unique to the mutant race while being reminiscent of the struggles faced by other minorities.

For example: when talking about the multiple mutant genocides that have taken place in X-Men comics, I've often perused quotes that I think would be impactful for Hank to use, to communicate his state of mind, and I come across quotes that I think would be apropos, but because they're specifically about the tragedy of, in that instance, Native American genocide, I've felt uncomfortable using them.

Yes, they would be impactful, but I personally feel (as a white cis man) that it would be inappropriate for me to use them in relation to a genocide against a fictional minority, especially in dialogue spoken by someone who is, when boiled down to it, also a white cis man.

You would have to be very careful about making creative decisions like this one if you wanted to make a fan film - this is the definition of delicacy and sensitivity, and it can be hard! I don't really agree with the idea of 'kill your darlings' in fiction, but when it comes to media that wants to examine societal themes, sometimes, you do have to cut things that you think would be really impactful because you have to consider how it reads to other, real minorities.

That being said! Don't let this idea discourage you. Examining the way that Hank would be perceived around a small human child, examining the potential prejudices that would be levelled against him if he wanted to try and formally adopt them, examining the way that it would affect his work and cross over into his heroic life - and, of course, examining the way that this interacts with his own concept of himself as a parent.

Remember, after all, that Hank has complicated feelings about parenthood, and for good reason.

Like, there's a whole thread to be unravelled here, about Hank's feelings that he can't be a good parent because he's (in his mind) a chronic screw-up, because his bestial mutation could pose a potential threat to the child if he ever lost control, because he's a publicly known superhero with enemies (including another self who wouldn't hesitate to kidnap said child for nefarious reasons, I'm sure)

And what would those doubts look like to the kid in question? Would they interpret it as a lack of desire for a child, a feeling that they're a burden, making Hank's life that much worse by being there and relying on him?

But then there's all the sweet things, too!

In summation? There's a lot to unpack here - but provided it's done with some real care and attention to detail and sensitivity, I think you'd be looking at something really quite special, with a subject matter that, quite frankly, no MCU-Hollywood movie is going to tackle in the same way.

[hotchocolatefanfics]

Hi I really loved your fanfics they are so interesting and quirky! I hope you continue to write and explore those ideas and your writing in general. I can empathize with your sentiments about your dad, my father also passed away a few years ago and IK what you mean by being angry with the world and its continuous pace. I really resonate with your statement about being angry about how the world can keep moving when your father is not in it. I really love the PoTA films as I also used to watch them with my dad as well! A question I guess I have for you is if the movies could be played out differently how do you think Koba could be reformed? In other words if things were different how do you think Koba’s story could have gone? Do you think he could ever be written as a reformed character? Thank you for reading and my sentiments and condolences go out to you ❤️

Hello, and thank you! I’ve really grown to love angst and romantic themes since writing PoTA fanfics so I hope to explore them in the PoTA world soon. I’m sorry about your dad too. It feels weird that things keep happening without him there, doesn’t it? I hope re-watching the PoTA movies remind you of good times with your dad as they do with me. 

And now for your question! 

If there were to be any reform in Koba, something would have to change his mind about humans. Thanks to Rise and the Firestorm book, we get a very in-depth idea of Koba’s backstory leading up to his escape in Rise. We know that Koba faced years of abuse and torture at the hands of humans which caused his deep hatred of them to begin with (which I think we can all agree is valid but still). 

Koba rarely encountered a friendly human during this time and when he did they didn’t stay long enough to show him kindness that could have changed his mind. Because of this, Koba has a very narrow view of humans. The ‘all humans are evil and dangerous and must be killed’ mentality we saw in Dawn. 

He was willing to listen to Caesar and express his concerns to him but I don’t think this could have been enough to change Koba’s mind (like even if Malcolm and the humans never entered the forest, I do not think anything Caesar said or done would have convinced Koba otherwise).

Basically, the only way Koba could have changed his mind about humans was if one of them were to show him kindness. For example, what he were the one who got sick instead of Cornelia and Ellie helped him? It doesn’t have to be Ellie specifically, but something serious would have to happen to Koba and he’s put into a vulnerable state and the only one to help him is a human for him to actually see that humans aren’t all bad. 

This isn’t necessarily a solid theory because, for all we know, Koba could very likely still try to kill all humans and just spare that one who helped him but this just means it would have to be more than one human involved (like maybe a few humans and some of the apes). Even if this does happen, Koba would still have to actually chose to change and do what he can to stop the war from happening. 

Plot-wise, I do not know how something like this would have fit in the movies but I could see it easily extending into Revelations (where Koba’s followers sort of picked up with where he left off-mainly Red, Grey…(other apes who’s names I can’t remember at this moment lol). Before War was released, there was some idea of bringing Koba back (that he somehow survived his fall) which could be utilized for this as well but it all depends on how much of the original plot you want to keep or change and what actually happens to Koba.

There’s actually a really good fanfic called Dawn of War on FanFiction that explores all this beautifully. To briefly explain it with no spoilers, Koba isn’t the one who started the war but is involved (sorta) in it’s creation and has a solid redemption arc. I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it!

[transmutationisms]

just read through your yellowjackets takes and i really resonated with your thoughts about it + why it feels so conceptually hollow (i think it’s an perfect 2023 tv show in that it’s a hollow exploration of girlhood with no substance to it) but i was wondering if you’ve seen bones and all + if you have any thoughts on it? the book was solidly bad but i the adaptation to be an incredibly beautiful movie visually, and while i think its understanding of what it actually has to say about cannibalism is shaky at best (i really think the movie did the best it could with the source material) i felt like its translation of cannibalism into a language of desire and violence thus linking them together was incredible. sorry this is so long winded but i feel like you’d have interesting things to say about it if you’d seen it!

i agree that 'bones and all' has a central problem of not knowing what it's trying to say with its cannibalism. there are a handful of different things going on, where it's alternately a metaphor for love, appetitive desire, hereditary 'mental illness,' addiction, and poverty. that's a lot. although you could theoretically do something interesting with virtually any of these—for example, there's an established literary tradition of using explicit cannibalism as a stand-in for implicit homosexuality or incest, both angles the film gestures at—if you actually tracked the metaphor as used in 'bones and all,' you would immediately run into the issue that its cannibalistic hunger is inborn, inescapable, and inherited. i don't really see a way to use this premise without just producing essentialist discourses about whatever theme you choose to lean into, which is at best boring and at worst reactionary.

there's definitely some attempt to explore the idea of violence-as-love, or vice versa, which is not uninteresting to me (<- guy who just read the locked tomb series) but i think is at its best in the flashes we get of parental violence, esp with lee's father. there's also an essay you could pull together here about 'bones and all' and cormac mccarthy's 'the road' as interpolations of the american travelogue that ultimately fail to transcend the epistemic parameters of the genre in any way. ultimately this is largely because they invoke cannibalism as signifying a loss, breakdown, or absence of civilisation, but they seem to have limited and varying degrees of awareness a) that this is what they're doing, and b) that this means grappling with a whole set of colonialist discourses that consequently pretty much go unremarked on.

i did like some of the cinematography, although it must be said that the dialogue struggled (like, how many times did a character say "i don't want to talk about [x]," only to be asked one follow-up question and then launch into an expository monologue about [x] lmao), which didn't do the actors any favours. i don't know the source material so maybe this is just inherent to it, but to be honest, i kind of think the whole lee/maren romance was the least interesting part of the film and the focus on it just ended up getting in the way of any more substantial thematic development in the script.

[scorndotexe]

the thing is that Midsommer could have been really really good but it did indeed fall flat in some ways. there's a few really strong visuals that had me wishing for certain other aspects to be explored that surrounded more of her grief as opposed to "ooo cult creepy". the way the cult handled grief was something to feel and transform you but that wasn't concrete enough to really feel for the majority of those seeing the movie including horror fans (I think this movie suffered a lot from non horror fans seeing it and making it into something it wasn't tbh). Dani comes to us as a girl who lost her whole family due to depression and now she is untethered trying to cling to a boyfriend who is just some douche but ultimately is just that. the uncaring world she came from vs a world that offers "unity" where she can grieve and have everyone stop to grieve with her like we all wish could happen when losing a loved one. there is your core of the movie but it became so muddled with all this other drawn out "oooooo isn't this WEIRD???" that you cease being able to focus on the legitimate issues of what I do believe Ari was wanting to display. the horror is in a grieving girl being able to be taken advantage of because you have a murder cult offering her what those around her will not. the inherent selfishness of those in her life in "the real world" leads her to seek solace in the world of the cult and she ultimately excuses the cruel physical violence because they didn't give her emotional violence, hence the tragedy of her character and why you are left conflicted at that final scene of her smiling because it is supposed to be a tragedy.

anyway if the story had been more focused I think it would have been excellent but it rambled a lot in the middle. still worth a watch tho for some deam sequences and the crying scene that means more built up feeling bad for her. idk I'd give it a 5-6/10. not as good as Hereditary by a long shot but still interesting enough and I think he has a good eye for constructing scenes.

ALSO I think it is really telling that he wrote it after a break up. like I wanted a different movie with the nuggets there does that make sense? like I didn't want it to be what he did with it I wanted the focus on something else

god you're the one who should have written this film not ari aster who apparently thinks the ending is a happy, triumphant one. i think i agree with you overall, it could have been way more compelling if it focused its themes on grief and how easy it is for cults to prey on the vulnerable.

maybe if it knew what it was trying to say it wouldn't feel like some kind of trauma porn film

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Hey, fellow Star Wars fan who has relogged your work in the past. Just wanted to say I loved The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi (the latter I consider the best Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back), as for The Rise Of Skywalker...that's a can of worms for another day. I didn't find them boring at all, nor did I think TFA was a "rehashing of A New Hope". I felt they were fresh, compelling adventures that explored the themes of legacy all while, especially in TLJ, challenging the status quo of Star Wars, flipping the series on its head. No. I never saw Finn, a black man, being side-lined in favour of Rey, a white woman. He was given solid arc in TFA and TLJ was a natural progression of his arc. I feel this "Finn was side-lined" idea is a result of hindsight bias caused by TROS, which DID side-line Finn, Poe and others in favour of Rey and Kylo Ren, but you can blame Disney and focus-groups trying to pander certain people for that. So, yeah, I'm like Linkara (a great video content creator you need to check out): Loved TFA and TLJ, not a fan of TROS. That's me.

Hey man, that's great you can't enjoy something that I just couldn't. Most of my problems do fall on TROS and TLJ as I feel TLJ destroyed Luke's character and made him something unrecognizable, and TROS was probably the worst of it with really getting rid of the more fun characters Rose, Finn, and Poe. I know more people who also like the TFA and TLJ, but for me personally, I just couldn't get into it or shake that feeling that it could have been better.

I also didn't see the point in bringing in characters from the original series other than pointless fan service.

But again, like I kinda said in my post. I have friends who enjoyed Solo. My taste isn't the law (thankfully). I'm glad you had fun watching them, but I just couldn't.

I will go check out Linkara if they made a video about the movies. Maybe they can change my mind about them

[sporco-filth]

Episode 1 - The Finale

This is the 'pilot' of that sitcom about slobs I described before.

Synopsis:

The finale of Tom’s favourite anime is airing, but a black out in the apartment complex risks ruining his plans. Kyle and Felix go to fix the problem but get locked in the basement. In order to watch his show (and save his friends) Tom must face his greatest nightmare: doing something.

[Kyle opens his door and sees Felix walking up the stairs, carrying a toolbox]

Kyle: Hey, Felix! Just the guy I wanted to see.

Felix: Yeah?

Kyle: You hungry? Fed and I are going out to grab a bite.

Felix: Sorry, Jess called. She has a leaky pipe that needs fixing.

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He’s about to leave when an idea comes to mind]

Kyle: Actually… I have a bit of a plumbing job you could help with.

Felix: Really?

Kyle: Yeah. I need my pipes cleared. You think you can come round later tonight?

[Kyle gives a suggestive look. Felix scratches his chin]

Felix: I guess I could. What exactly is stuck in it?

Kyle: Cream.

Felix: OK? You can’t just flush it out yourself?

Kyle: I guess I could, but it’s really, really hard. And I don’t want to do it alone.

Felix: Can’t Fed help?

Kyle: I was thinking we could do it together.

Felix: Really? I’m sure it’d be an easy one man job.

[Kyle sighs]

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He walks back inside and closes the door]

Felix: Huh? What do you mean?

[No response. Felix goes back to climbing the stairs.]

Felix (to himself): Clearing his pipes…? Oh…

[Realisation hits]

Felix: Heh that is kinda funny.

~Opening Credits~

[Kyle’s outside Tom’s door and knocks]

Kyle: Hey, Tommy! Open up!

Tom: It’s open.

[Kyle enters. We see Tom’s apartment. It’s dark, lit up only by the massive TV screen. Tom’s lying on the couch snacking on a bag of chips.]

Tom: [without looking up] What?

Kyle: Fed and I are going out for dinner. You wanna come?

Tom: Can’t. Got plans.

[He eats a chip and stares blankly at the TV.]

Kyle: What plans?

Tom: I’m watching Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Kyle: Isn’t that that dumb anime about the mermaid guy who has like weird singing powers?

Tom: It’s not dumb! It’s a masterfully crafted show that explores themes of love and purpose while skillfully blending epic battle sequences with stunning musical numbers. The show’s been going on for 13 years, with 338 episodes, five feature-length films and a spin-off series. The final episode airs tonight at ten thirty and I refuse to miss a second.

Kyle: But it’s only seven. You can come to dinner and get back before it starts.

Tom: Yeah, but they’re also showing a marathon of all the fan-favourite episodes before it and I want to watch that too.

Kyle: Suit yourself.

[Kyle leaves and heads across the hall to his place. Fed’s in the kitchen snacking.]

Kyle: Tom’s not coming.

Fed: Why not?

Kyle: Some stupid anime thing.

Fed: Oh! I completely forgot! Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu has its finale tonight. It’s the end of an era…

[Kyle rolls his eyes, then notices Fed eating.]

Kyle: Aren’t you going to ruin your appetite?

[Kyle scratches his bum.]

Fed: No, I’m warming up. I need to get my stomach ready to eat by starting with something light before it can digest a full meal. [He eats another handful and talks with his mouth full.] Did you ask Felix?

Fed: Yeah, but he said he’s got some dumb plumbing thing to do. I guess it’s just us.

[We cut to Felix who does something, the building completely blacks out.]

Kyle: What was that?

Fed: It’s a blackout!

Tom: [from offstage] THE ELECTRICITY! WHO TURNED OFF THE POWER!? WHAT HAPPENED!?

[A loud fumbling is heard and a crash.]

Tom: Oww…

[Kyle and Fed open the door. They shine a torch from their phone and find Tom lying on the floor.]

Fed: You OK?

Tom: I’m fine. I tripped running out the door.

Kyle: You? Running? This is serious.

Tom: Of course it is! Life without electricity isn’t worth living! Everything I love needs electricity: internet, video games, microwaved food, TV. And I’ll miss Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu! Wait, maybe I can livestream it from my phone…

[He opens his phone.]

Tom: OK, the wifi’s out, but I’ve got data still…

[The light from his phone goes black.]

Kyle: What happened?

Tom: It ran out of power.

Fed: That quickly?

Tom: Well, I meant to charge it this morning… but I couldn’t be arsed...

Kyle: That sounds more like our Tommy.

[Felix comes down the stairs using his phone as a torch.]

Felix: Hey, sorry about that guys…

Kyle: What do you mean?

Felix: I think it might’ve been my fault: Jess asked me to fix a leaky pipe and uh… well some water got on her hairdryer and there was a lot of scary sparks and stuff then it all went black.

Tom: What?! So it’s your fault I’ll miss the last ep of MSBT?

Felix: MS-what?

Fed: Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Felix: That’s tonight? Wow, I thought that show would never end.

Kyle: Am I the only one who doesn’t watch anime here?

Tom: Yes. [He turns to Felix] You have to fix this now! I can’t miss the finale.

Felix: All right, all right. I said I was sorry and I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry. The lights’ll be back on in no time.

Kyle: We better go talk to Bob. He should know what to do. Hopefully we can get it done quickly; I’d hate to see what Fed’ll do if the food in the fridge goes off.

Fed: Wait… the fridge!

[Fed runs back inside.]

Kyle: Me and my big mouth… [He turns to Felix and Tom] Well, you guys coming?

Felix: It was my fault after all; the least I can do is help fix things.

Tom: I’m too tired from trying to run before, you two go on without me.

[Tom slumps onto the ground.]

Kyle: I guess it’s just us two then. Let’s go.

[The scene changes to outside Bob’s room. Kyle knocks on the door.]

Kyle: Hey! Bob! Open up!

[A lot of rumbling is heard. The door eventually opens to show Bob, looking grumpy.]

Bob: Don’t tell me: you two are responsible for the blackout.

Kyle: No… just Felix.

Bob: I’ve had it up to here with you guys running to me whenever something goes bust here. It’s your mess, you clean it up this time.

Kyle: Bob, you know as well as I do that Felix doesn’t clean up anything, let alone his own messes.

Felix: Hey! I… yeah, that’s actually not wrong…

Bob: Here [he pulls out a ring of keys]: go down to the basement and you can find the circuit breaker. It’s probably just a matter of flicking a switch or something.

Felix: Which switch?

[Bob slams the door.]

Kyle: (Sigh). Let’s get this over with. Tom’s probably having a fit by now.

[Scene shifts back to the hallway. Tom’s fallen asleep on the ground.]

[Back in Fed’s kitchen, Fed opens the fridge.]

Fed: All right. Operation Save Food From Spoiling is go. I guess we’ll start with the cold meats…

[He grabs a pack of prosciutto and dangles a slice down into his gullet.]

[Outside the basement door, Felix is trying out the keys. Finally he gets the one that works.]

Felix: Got it!

[He opens the door to reveal the basement, which is filled with broken appliances and old boxes.]

Felix: Now, where’s this circuit breaker…

[They shine their torches around… maybe some funny quips happen.]

Kyle: Found it!

[The guys go over to it.]

Felix: It’s locked. I bet the key’s with the others.

[The door slams shut.]

Felix: Ah, Kyle.

Kyle: Yeah?

Felix: Have you got the keyring?

Kyle: No, I thought you had it.

Felix: Well I don’t.

[Felix goes to open the door but it’s locked.]

Kyle: Ok… This isn’t good.

Felix: Don’t worry, we can call Fed.

[He pulls out his phone.]

Kyle: It’s not just the door. It’s not good because I can feel a fart coming.

[Felix’s face falls.]

Felix: Oh no… please Kyle I beg you, hold on!

Kyle: You’ve got like a minute.

[He rings Fed.]

[The scene returns to the kitchen, Fed is now eating the last slice of a cheesecake. His phone rings and he picks it up.]

Fed: Yeah?

Felix (through the phone): Fed! You’ve got to come downstairs to the basement. We got ourselves locked in.

Kyle (through the phone, yelling): YOU got us locked in!

Felix: Yeah, anyway. We need you to open the door; the keys are in the lock. Please hurry! Kyle’s holding back a lot of gas.

Fed: I’ll be right there!

[He hangs up and tries to stand, but clutches his belly, flopping back down.]

Fed: Ooh… I’m not feeling too good…

[His stomach gurgles loudly.]

Maybe I can get Tom to go…

[He drags himself to the door, which is still open, and yells out.]

Fed: Tom! Tom!

[Tom snores. Fed throws the slice of cheesecake at him that he was still holding. Tom wakes up with a start.]

Tom: Huh? What was that for?

Fed: Felix and Kyle got locked in the basement and I’m not in any state to be climbing stairs. I need you to go down and open the door for them.

Tom: I ain’t going down there. Not without the elevator. Do you know how many steps that is?

Fed: You have to! Kyle’s got a massive fart brewing. Felix hasn’t built up a tolerance to Kyle’s gas like I have; he’ll suffocate!

Tom: I don’t care. Let him suffocate. I’m not walking down those stairs. I already ran today.

Fed: You ran like ten steps.

Tom: That’s ten more than I’ve run in the past five years.

[Fed tries to move closer, but his stomach gurgles and he stops, clutching it in pain.]

Fed: Please… if you don’t go… then you won’t be able to watch MSBT.

[Tom sits up straight.]

Tom: Argh, you’re right… For Tsugihara, I shall do it.

[Felix hands him his phone.]

Fed: It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.

[Tom stands up and wields the phone above his head, the torch light on.]

Tom: With the power of the Seven Seas flowing through me, I shall banish the darkness!

[Tom slowly walks down the stairs.]

Fed: You could go a little faster…

[Back in the basement. Kyle is straining.]

Felix: Please, hold it in!

Kyle: I don’t know if I can do it (grunt). This one feels pretty strong.

Felix: You must!

[Tom on the stairs, slowly going down. He pauses to catch his breath.]

Tom: Whew… I don’t know if I can do it… it’s so many steps.

Fed (from upstairs): You’ve only gone down half a floor.

Tom: I could do without the running commentary, thank you!

[In the basement. Kyle is sweating.]

Kyle: I’m sorry Felix… Ahhhhh…

[He relaxes and farts. It’s long and loud. Felix covers his mouth with his top.]

Felix: GAH! HELP! HELP!

[The door opens and Tom appears. He immediately covers his mouth.]

Tom: Ugh! I come all this way to save you and this is how you repay me?

Felix: Tom! My saviour!

[He grabs Tom into a hug. Tom pushes him off.]

Tom: OK, OK. That’s enough. I did this for Tsugihara, not you. Here: I believe you lost these?

[He hands out the keys. Kyle takes them.]

Kyle: I’ll take it from here. You guys should head up to get some fresh air.

Felix: I’m not sure my nose will recover from this…

[Tom and Felix leave the room. Kyle goes to the circuit breaker and opens it.]

Kyle: Let’s see…

[He flicks a switch and, after a bit of a sluggish start, the lights flicker back on.]

[Back upstairs, Fed, still eating, sees the lights turn on.]

Fed: They did it! Yes!

[He jumps up but immediately regrets it and clutches his stomach.]

Fed: Oooh…

[Soon after, the guys enter the room.]

Felix: I’m sorry again for all the trouble I caused, but I guess it’s all fixed now.

Tom: And not a moment too soon. I’ve got a finale to watch, see ya.

[Tom leaves. Kyle notices Fed’s discomfort.]

Kyle: You alright there?

Fed (not alright): Yep. Just a bit of a stomach ache… I ate too much too fast… And it’s like the UN down there: I don’t think that leftover Chinese is getting along with the Indian curry.

[His stomach gurgles ominously.]

Fed: Uh oh…

[All of a sudden, Fed releases a loud fart.]

Felix: No! Not again! Ack-urgh!

[He runs out of the room.]

Fed: Sorry Kyle…

Kyle: Heh, no stress. I’ll love you no matter how bad you stink. After all, you have to put up with my stenches, now it’s my turn to deal with the smell.

Fed: Aww, you’re so sweet.

Kyle: And anyway, [he gently rubs Fed’s gut while savouring the smell]  you know that it kinda turns me on. How about we cancel dinner and have some fun at home?

Fed: I think that sounds wonderful. Also, I may have just eaten everything in the fridge…

[In Tom’s room, he’s now settled back on the couch and ready to watch TV.]

Tom: Ah, at long last…

[The MSBT theme music plays. Suddenly it stops.]

News host: We interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news bulletin.

Tom: No! Don’t interrupt!

News host: His Excellency the Honourable Sir Arthur Vandeleigh, former Governor-General of Australia, has died peacefully in his sleep.

Tom: Come on, come on…

TV host: We have a three-hour obituary scheduled in honour of this great man who valiantly served his country.

Narrator: Though he may have inhabited the role for only three months, Arthur Vandeleigh’s tenure as Governor-General was…

Tom: NOOOOOO!

~End Credits~

[castlebyersafterdark]

there seems to be a lot of talk about will byers x vines lately. some people called it 'vine play' and while im all for the horror coming on strong for our boi narratively, this had undertones of people enjoying the vines sexually lol. i KNOW that UD-adjacent ephemera can be read as metaphorical of CSA and by extension people read sexual choking kinks into the story, but considering how some people reacted to vecna (total desire, no acknowledgement of his evil antics), sometimes i wonder if there are people translating literally every serious element of the show into something a bit sexy and im like... what's left to scare you with lol? if being choked to death with vines is hot then what exactly about the season is going to raise the stakes and make you feel the peril etc etc

or perhaps its simply that meme online culture removes lots of immersiveness in shows these days. my sister actively asked me to send her voldemort-style memes of vecna in order to make him seem less scary, i was like GIRL i was desperate for the opposite effect when the show dropped lol

So much to unpack with this. I think firstly, things can be scary and sexy at the same time. This to me has always been a lot of the fun in horror and how horror and stuff of that nature cans serve both as a way to tap into fear and tap into fantasies, which can sometimes be scary themselves. There's always a lot of chatter about the intersection of trauma and kink and that's for sure a part of it. Or, you also don't need trauma to have a kink. And more or, it doesn't even have to be a kink - some concepts are just interesting and maybe not much does scare you just going into a show like this but you enjoy it and you take away a different element.

I don't really see a problem viewing what's happening in the story/on screen both as a sense of high stakes fear for what's going on while also in the back of your head simultaneously thinking 'he looks good with something wrapped around his throat as he chokes and strains under the vines.' It can be both!! We can totally acknowledge that.

I like Stranger Things so much because it serves multipurpose fictional interests - horror movie vibes, complicated mysteries, themes of friendship, the nostalgia setting, and romance / a coming of age sexuality story. So much to love, ticks multiple boxes for me. So, I can watch a scene and fear for Will and think Henry is terrifying but also want to see him wrap those vines tighter and watch as Will struggles and cries and looks pretty while doing so. And when you engage in the parts of fandom where the dark elements are dived into, it's a safe place to explore those dark elements if you so have an interest in the intersection of sex and kink and trauma and taboo and fears and horror. Whatever ingredients you want to add to your fandom corner smoothie. All valid!

And there are always going to be people who just care about the villain (and yes Henry/Vecna is the villain, why deny that? Some do) and erase the bad elements. That's the nature of fandom. And also, there's a lot of people who just... don't take anything seriously. Either they're jaded and need to appear unaffected and aloof from the media they interact with or need things to be catered to their agenda. I have friends who are super cool and they want to be included in things and say they have no problem with horror movies but when my squad gets together to watch fucked up films they make a fuss, want the lights on, try to joke throughout it like girl, can you be quiet and sit there or skip out on movie night if it's not actually your thing? The point is to be scared or horrified, it's a horror movie. So sometimes when people want nothing to do with the creepier aspects of Stranger Things I'm like, why engage??? Just my opinion.

[stereax]

paragraph from a WIP? any of them. and if you are inclined, an over explanation behind the paragraph? examples if you are stuck: the vibes, the themes you wanted to hit, why you phrased something in a particular way, what music you were listening to when you wrote it and how that affected what you put down, why you like/dislike the paragraph… <3 i love to talk writing craft !! holding fins 🦈

Well, the one I was talking to you about a few weeks ago is nearly done (I think the writing IS done, just might need a stress test on whether things are too blatant or not), so have a bit from the other WIP I told you about that while back... under the cut :)

(in the background, my little radio head is spinning around and around and its antenna is stuck high up in the air and crackling happily... talking about writing...!!! holding your fin....... lettuce gooooo)

And before I post the rest of this, I'm not a fucking Rempe apologist, the kid should be WELL out of the NHL, I just get ideas about people I don't like and in this case it's an idea strong enough that I'm writing it. This is, to be fair, a common theme in my fiction (exploring a person/character I despise). But. Alright. Here we go. This is actually the part where the fic starts, so you're not missing out on context really.

-

Sometimes, Matt thinks he sees the world differently than everyone else.

It's like he blinks, sometimes, and there's this film separating him from other people. Like a bubble, all soapy and colorful, rainbows cascading down the corners of his vision.

Sometimes, he reaches his hand up to poke or press his hand against or even punch the bubble, depending on how he's feeling that hour. It's not real, though, even if it feels like he can see the rainbows ripple on the sides of his eyes, all staticky and prone to bursting into flames.

He's back at it again, lying on his bed somewhere in fucking Hershey or Wilkes-Barre or wherever it is today, arm lazily held up so his palm blocks the single light in the podunk hotel they're posted in. The light is annoying as hell; it's two shades too bright for a bedroom, plus it's the only light in the entirety of the room and fucking Korzy is reading some sort of artsy book that's wider than a puck 'cause the girl he's trying to bang is a Renaissance nerd. Matt's pretty sure his roommate is looking at the pictures more than he's actually reading the text, but it's the thought that counts or whatever.

-

And of course then this goes on to be a little character-revealing banter session between the two of them. Gotta figure out how to get out of that, I'm good at being in dialogue but the entries and exits are tough. And then, y'know. Stumble more along the fic. I don't have many plot details for this one, I have more vibes of what I want to explore. But:

Essentially, what I'm trying to do here is set the stage for the fic spinning forward. Matt "seeing the world differently" is, well, I don't want to say obvious foreshadowing, but it is. That bubble is going to be important, as it's a somewhat more "tangible" motif that can portray what's "wrong" with Matt, in a way, and serves as a proxy for his emotions too (the bubble bursting into flames when he hits the ice and squares up for a fight, the bubble shaking with static and pulsing red when he's suspended, the bubble shining with strong rainbows when he doesn't seem to be on the same wavelength as others and fading away when he does, etcetera etcetera). As the fic moves forward, we're going to see how he does see the world differently - how he takes in information about things, especially interactions with other people, that's maybe not exactly how "normal" people would, and how this influences his actions, which then seem irrational to people who don't see it in the way that he does.

For instance, with Korzy (Ryder Korczak) - Matt very patently thinks of him as The Guy I Room With (who is quite annoying, may he add) and not much else, despite them having spent months together and Korzy making an effort to include him in everything. He sees most of the Wolfpack, and a fair amount of the Rangers, too, solely as people he has to deal with, which is a far cry from Team As Family as we see very often in fic and even in real life.

As I'm thinking about it, I see him being introduced to the Rangers' locker room in a future section and him immediately locking in on Kreider as the main person he needs to be "in the green" with to keep a roster spot, and that's more or less how he thinks about it, too. When he's talking to players like Kakko, who he's competing for a spot with and who don't project as useful to him, he's flippant in his internal monologue, treating it as a Necessary Interaction, even if they're nothing but nice to him. It's not that he's not civil about it, but he really just doesn't care about the other rookies' attempts to include him in their friend group and their plans.

Also, for a dude who's kind of paranoid, having an entire "police" dedicated to wanting him to like. Not be a danger to everyone on the ice is the peak of "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not watching you". It's a ton of pressure to be under and he doesn't handle pressure well, but you wouldn't know because he says the right things when the camera is on him. (The second it leaves, however, is a different story...)

Back to the excerpt at hand, though - some words are definitely deliberate choices. "Podunk" especially feels like a very Matt-like word - this from the guy who's said "jiminy crickets" live on camera before.

"Hershey or Wilkes-Barre" is a call to the Wolfpack schedule where they play those teams away back-to-back with less than 24 hours between the two puck drops (and probably close to only 18 hours rest between the two games) - at some point, it all blurs together to the point where you forget what town you're in, just that you're going from bus to hotel to game to bus to hotel to bus to game to hotel to bus to - you see what I mean here. And this is kicking in for Matt, too, the derealization of it all, years doing this in juniors and now more in the minors, never breaking free of The Grind in the way playing in the NHL would. And then when he does get to the NHL, he realizes it's the same thing, just on a bigger scale. Talk about a disappointment.

On music, I've got a mini playlist full of Vibes for this fic. Not gonna talk about that just yet, but there are Definitely ideas for that front.

Hope this helps? I'm so tired rn haha so if I don't sound coherent, you know why.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

so like... apparently jimin's like crazy is based on one of his favorite movies. for some reason that made me feel disappointed. i know i shouldn't be talking before the full track is out but i have a feeling the "content" of the track will disappoint me. because i feel that jimin is already distancing himself from what the lyrics/meaning may express by attributing it to a movie he enjoys. also he keeps talking about the pandemic. i thought this album spanned these last two/three years and not just the pandemic but he keeps referring to it. it's like a shield. like if he says he felt depressed or alone or lost it all can be blamed on the pandemic and its effects because it's safer that way. i don't know i really hope i'm wrong. i just feel him so defensive all the time...

Why is it so difficult to just wait? Why?

There's so many ways in which someone can take an inspiration from books, films, you name it and still make it their own in their work. Maybe just the theme, or one aspect from it that somehow speaks to what the artist is trying to convey through their own lyrics. The work gets transformed and even seeing how that happens can be a fascinating process to explore. Did the use of the Rilke poem took away from Jimin's own thoughts and feelings about what freedom means to him? I personally don't think so. In actuality, it only enhanced and deepened the meaning.

Intertextuality and taking inspiration from other works can be quite complex and not as straight forward as you might think, or how the fandom is currently positioning itself over this piece of information. I'm already seeing people watching that movie and thinking that it's some direct clue over Jimin's personal life. Which is a simplistic view, to say the least, but I can only imagine the discourse getting more traction once the song is out.

My point is, can we just not nitpick and pull apart every single element and complain about it without being able to look at the full picture or go beyond a basic layer of understanding?

And yes, he keeps talking about the pandemic because the album reflects that period in someone's life. And yes, the word might be used as an umbrella term when one doesn't want to get into details over everything that happened during that period. Or maybe it's used as an excuse for other issues, part of some defense mechanism. I think we should look at ourselves first in relation to that period of time and maybe we can understand better where he might come from. I know I do because I also use the pandemic as an excuse for a lot of stuff. But beyond all that, let's wait to hear the album first, ok?

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2024 MOVIE LIST

www.tumblr.com/theharpermovieblog

I watched After Blue (2021)

Give it up for French sci-fi. It certainly is something all it's own.

On a planet of only females, a young woman and her mother are tasked with finding and killing a criminal, whom the young woman previously freed.

French director, Bertrand Mandico, directed a film called "Les Garcons Sauvages" (The Wild Boys). A film about several delinquent boys (played by women) who kill their teacher and are placed into the care of a grizzled ship's captain. This captain takes these delinquents on a journey to a magical island which slowly alters their gender. As a person who has explored my personal gender identity, and as a movie fan, I found "Les Garcons Sauvages" oddly fascinating. The film was stylish, with a classic black and white look mixed with a sparkling dreamy quality. It was, if nothing else, interesting and provocative.

So, when I came upon "After Blue" and found out it was directed by the same filmmaker, I jumped at the chance to see it. Why? Because I love "strange" filmmakers.

I often forgive flaws in a film if that film is of a unique style. Filmmakers like David Lynch, Guy Maddin and Bruce McDonald make zero compromises. Maybe their films are too weird for the mainstream and maybe I don't like some of their work, however I immediately and veraciously seek it out. Each of them makes a film as a piece of unique art, which no other director could have, or would have, made in the same way. Truly original, and true to their singular vision. For me, Bertrand Mandico can now count himself among these filmmakers.

"After Blue" is a very strange film. One that proves to me that Mandico is obsessed with female sexuality and gender. Here, he lays the foundation of a sci-fi/western story to hold up themes of sexuality and gender, but also themes of loneliness, morality and guilt. And, while the film is deeply sexual in nature, the sexuality on display is more than mere physical desire or exploitation. Mandico uses sexuality to explore his character's wants and desires in all aspects. Doing so in a glittery dream world where sadistic women with hairy arms and blind androids with tentacle dicks roam around freely.

I very much liked this film, but I very much like weird shit that I don't get to see other places, which may taint my opinion slightly.

With it's fake-y sets.and over stylized visuals, "After Blue" looks like a stage-play and a music video had a three-way with a soft core porno, but not in a bad way. Mandico is still able to build an interesting enough world with what he has at his disposal and the story he's telling. Even if that world is often too strange for its own good.

Now, I can't exactly recommend this to anyone like it's a normal film, but if you're the type of person who's attention can be held by weirdness and sex and slime and guns named after fashion brands and a killer named Kate Bush...this is for you.

[devotioncrater]

idk how that WIP fmk ask game works but i’d be curious to hear ur thoughts on any ted lasso wips you have !

HELL yes tysm!! i LOVE talking abt WIPs

fuck - the story you just want to read instead of having to write it yourself

i have the outline done for a tedtrent western film AU inspired by a convo with @stevecarrington @tomlinfonda and @larkin21 !!

the fic is set in the 60s, right as the western genre is going out of style. rebecca owns a film studio (richmond studios) in hollywood, and wants to blow up its reputation to get back at rupert. so she has higgins cast ted, a high school drama teacher from kansas, to star in an upcoming western film. she then personally hires trent, an established director well-known for being a cold-hearted bitch to work with, to direct the movie. the film itself is risky, as it subverts cornerstones of the western genre. this is the film's synopsis:

Mason "Badlands" Morris (Theodore Lasso) is a lone cowboy rider hired for a job he don't normally do: escort a Miss Josephine Fairfax (Keeley Jones) from Kansas all the way to California so she can reunite with her beau Jack (Jamie Tartt). To ensure no untowardness, her uncle Ezra (Roy Kent) accompanies them, himself desperate for a change. Over the course of 14 days during the spring of 1856, the trio face unexpected challenges and uncover secrets which would best be left buried.

the fic spans from the first initial table read all the way to release day. shenanigans and unlikely romances ensue. i have everything for this SO clearly mapped in my head and on paper, but i know it's going to be a massive undertaking putting it into words. so if i could just...read it instead that'd be amazin LMAO

marry - the story you're obsessed with writing and never want to stop working on or thinking about

break me, shake me, devastate me (come here baby) is one i cannot stop writing/thinking about. the second and final chapter for it is going to be at minimum 7k words long because i keep adding more details in or reworking scenes. especially since the james lance interview dropped and we got more trent lore. the flipside to this is that i'm chewing my nails, sweating over the fact i haven't updated in 12 days. i deadass tried to update this past sunday but!! no!! it didn't feel complete yet. so hopefully this weekend it'll happen

grief and longing are my favorite themes to write about, which this fic explores. i have a playlist titled "grieving" that i made purely to listen to while writing this fic.

kill - the story you're most frustrated with and would rather just put it in the trash (or a high shelf somewhere to forget about for a long time)

i've kind of already done this, but there's a royjamie fic i'm bashing my head against the wall about. i got inspired by AURORA's songs "forgotten love" and "soft universe", specifically the lyrics:

You are the reason I can dance Within a fire of goodbyes, of goodbyes I can lie in a dark room without the feeling that I'm lonely

and

My body falls off the side of her bed And now I know what love feels like Don't let me turn into pain All of this is loveliness Chaos came, we laid our head Down on the feather cotton bed You find a heart and catch your breath Let the universe go red Speak to me, speak to me With love in your words Make for me, make for me A soft universe

basically the fic is about different times roy and jamie sleep together in the same bed. it explores their unspoken codependency and the soft intimacy they share underneath their weird dynamic. the reason i'm frustrated is that i cannot seem to find a good enough explanation for why they start sharing a bed LMAO

currently i have something inspired by the fonda/redford film Our Souls At Night, where jamie shows up at roy's door one night and is like "i can't sleep, mate. i miss having a person next to me."

we'll see though. maybe i'll find motivation for the fic again

[latinapoetbts]

25 days of Bacalar (Drabble)

KTH x Reader (Y/N) Drabble Idol themed | KTH is Filming in Bacalar for Jinnys Kitchen and meets Mexican Native Y/N. Fluff, feelings, and the start of a sexy, smutty scene... I am definitely going to do part two for my own enjoyment, but I would love to hear if you want me to write more. :) ___________________________________________________ “Tae, I-I (moaning), I–(heavy breathing) think we—(moaning) should stop–”, I felt breathless as he pulled away from my neck. I knew I needed to be honest with myself and honest with him. My heart ached, and heat radiated between my legs. My body was desperate for his touch, and my heart ached because my mind knew we needed to stop. The look in his eyes as he peered into mine was one of lust and wonder.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable? I—”

“No. Tae you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, I love, I (nervous), I love kissing you to be honest..I uh, um…sorry I feel embarrassed…”. He instantly placed his palm to my cheek as I felt myself blush. I hated how vulnerable I felt and shy. 

“Y/N, trust me I love kissing you, I- I didn’t want to stop…”. His eyes fell to my lips. It was becoming way too hard to control myself. I needed to just rip the band aid off and say how I felt. 

“I don’t want to stop kissing you but I need to stop.” I felt this hand drop from my cheek the warmth leaving with his hand and a look of sadness flicked in his eyes.

“I’m scared to tell you but I have to say it, I need to say it…”, 

“Ok,”. a sigh escaped his beautiful mouth, his eyes gentle and set on mine.

“Tae, I—wooo, this is hard. (pause. sigh.) I love every moment we have spent together, and right now, I love kissing you, your touch feels soooo good and…and… I want more…of you… of us…but…”, I felt the tears start to swell in my eyes. Fuck, I didn’t want to cry. I imagine I must look crazy, why is my heart like this? I felt his fingers entwined with mine underneath the water. 

“But, you see, um… I don’t give of myself easily annnnd… I feel like you..like you have ripped me open in ways no one has in just a short amount of time. And when I open, it's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and….. I alllllways jump all in and its sooo fucking hard for me to get out once I jump in. It’s so hard that I’ve only allowed it once. It hurt so fucking bad when it was over. It was too hard for me to…to get out…Tae…your make me feel  fucking reckless… I love too hard, too deep. I can’t be reckless. I know I’m probably not making any sense and maybe I'm rambling.” I felt his grip tighten in between our fingers, his eyes still locked with mine as his free hand gently swiped at my tears sliding down my cheeks. I leaned into his touch unconsciously. Fuck. Im hopeless , I thought to myself letting out a sigh.

“I’m listening. I know you're nervous, but keep going I want to hear it all”, he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I can’t with you you know that”, I chuck more tears streaming down my cheeks. A smile pulls slightly at his lips. 

“Why?” He asks as he destroys my resolve by kissing my tear stained cheeks pulling away as quickly as his lips touch.

“Fuck Y/N, I’m sorry I—”, I crash my lips into his silencing him as my tonge pierces between his lips, he opens allowing me to explore him once again. We kiss tongs battle for dominance, moans falling from our mouths until we are forced to part from one another for air.

“Your too fucking perfect. I almost can’t stand it.” I bite my lip turning away from him giving us physical space before I dove into him again knowing I’d snap my last thread holding me together.

“Y/N… I don’t understand…please…help me…out here…” , he said softly and sincerely. 

“Tae. Fuck you make me feel like I’m on fire, like im being consuming by you and honestly I want more….I want you Tae. I can’t help but want to be around you …kiss you….and…I want to jump all in, and I can't. You know this better than anyone. I can’t, I shouldn't. I’m the one who loses the most here.” After the baring of my soul, the slight trembling of my body and the retreat of his hand holding mine, came the deafening silence. His body withdrew from me and his gaze turned towards the water. I turned away from him as well. I felt naked and exposed. The truth really does hurt. I felt such a relief to tell him how I felt but also it was devastating, it was finite. I had spent the most incredible moments of my 28 years of life over the last 25 days with the most beautiful, sexy, sweet and caring man I had ever ment. He had wrecked me in so many ways and today was the first day we had ever even kissed. I’m not sure how much time passed in the silence but I couldn’t take it a second longer. My thoughts were racing in my mind. Thoughts of just throwing all caution to the wind, abandoning my attempt to protect my heart just burying myself in this moment with him. Choosing my recklessness, Surrendering my mind, body and soul to him. My other thoughts, “run”, get as far as away as possible. Finally my body was able to move, I stood up out of the water, reaching for my pool towel.

“I think I’m going to go ahead and take a shower and get dressed. Take your time.” I step out of the pool without taking one glance at him, wrapping up my body and what was left of my heart and soul. 

(.....silence….)

I walked inside and straight to my room tears spilling from my eyes down my chin, I hadn’t even jumped all in yet. I knew I was saving myself the heartbreak of my life. I entered my bathroom and stripped down to nothing, turning the hot water on, I mean I wanted to melt away after all. I step in letting the warm stream over my body warm the ache in my body. And that's when I heard it, the sound of the door opening, the sound of the mental shower rung from the shower curtain scruffing against the shower rode slowly. I could feel how hyper alert my body was, my skin prickling, heart radiating heat between my legs. Just the thought of the idea that he was standing inches from me wearing absolutely nothing had my heart pounding in my chest my cunt lips swelling, and my breath shallow. What was he doing in here with me? Clearly he had rejected me at the pool with his silence. 

And that's when I felt it. His dick hard pressed  against my ass checks, his lips at the shell of my right ear, his hands cupping my hardened nippled breast. I gasped at his searing touch.

“I want you to be reckless. I want you to jump all in. I want you to let me consume all of you.” his words, his breath feathering against my ear, my body melting into him, my back pressed firmly into his chest. His lips moved down my ear over my exposed neck, licking and sucking his way down my collar bone as I continued to be putty in his hands. I couldn't help but the moans pour out of my mouth. 

“(sucking and licking) I fucking want you so bad, (moaning and sucking) please y/n let me have you.” he lets go of my breast spinning me around to face him grabbing the back of my head smashing our mouths together as our tonges battle for sensually dominance. My hands respond by lacing one hand in his hair the other swinging round his neck drawing him close to me. I grutterl moan escapes me the second I feel the tip of his harden dick rub against my swollen wet lips aching between my legs. I feel his free hand cup and squeeze my ass pressing my lips harder against his dick.

“I’ve never wanted someone as badly as I want you. Fuck.” his voice deep and sultry, his hips thrusting against my bare hot wet lips. His mouth sucked deeply and harshly into my neck leaving me bruises that would be on display for days. 

“You make me crazy, Y/N. Please. Be reckless with me.” felt his hand release my ass and slide in between us below the waist. I throw my head back as his fingers swipe slowly over my wet lips. 

“Y/N…oh my god, please, let me have you.” It was over, the plea, the beg in his voice. I’d let him hurt me, break my spirit over and over again.  His fingers teased my lips, edge me by just barely going in. His mouth again on mine moaning deeply into me. 

“Will you let me hurt you as badly as you’ll hurt me?” my heart quaked in my chest. 

“Because, no matter what, we chose it’s going to hurt.”. He was right.