#and if we're not mutuals hi i want to be friends with u but im shy pls talk to me about anything if u want

[b1gwings]

i’m so into dndads rn i might make a separate blog just so i can RB everything i see

[comet-wire]

Update! Thank you for the support Mothy it's very appreciated, sweetheart. It means the absolute world to me. 🥺💕/Gen

I've been holding off on an update because I wasn't sure if the rough patch was going to get worse, wait until I actually landed the job I'm at now, and so much more. We are somewhat stable now, still not great but good enough to get by. As per my mom's wishes, I will not be discussing anything regarding what my dad left when he passed as it is extremely personal and my mom wishes to keep it private and I will respect that.

We only really had my grandma helping us financially (aside from the occasional card from close friends of my parents and coworkers etc),but we didn't want to rely solely on her. That's why I was anxious and immediately jumped to doing commissions if I was able to set them up before the job opportunity, but thankfully it came a tad early and I didn't have to open commissions up right away. My worry lied in whether or not the house would be paid off in time for each end of the month, especially since my mom carries all the insurance on my dad and I it kind of sucks all the life from her bank and I was unemployed. (We did manage to get it paid off since that's what my dad would want, it was officially paid on on my birthday, June 3rd.) If anything happens though I will open emergency commissions, but right now if I ever get the chance I'll just do commissions here and there when I get back into art and the swing of things.

I will also be less active or not as frequently active due to my job but also the fact that my mom and I are still very much in shock and going through the grieving process all over again since my childhood dog had passed years prior. I will also keep the original post up for now in case I do open comms and anyone wants to see what I'd start out with and if anyone was particularly interested. I know I haven't posted any recent art either, I've also been in a massive burnout that's been going strong for a little over 3 years unfortunately. I'm slowly trying to learn to love doing art again.

With that, please note that there are help lines/links in my pinned post located in my carrd. If you can help people in need such as families stuck in Palestine, need educating on a subject going on, saving cats in China, etc please take a look! It'll only be a minute of your time and you can help make a change by donating and/or spreading the information.

Thank you for your time, dears. Have a wonderful day!

Hey! I hate to ask for handouts and don't mean to come across as such, as that's not what this is for necessarily. I've been meaning to work on commissions, as in actually setting it up and working on the info itself and with the unexpected passing of my father on Jan 30th, I'm going to try to do just that when I have time or if it comes down to it, if we're stable before or as I'm getting a job it'll be different, there's a hiring freeze at the place I'm trying to get into so the guy will get back to me whenever he can. Right now I'm spending time with family during this time as my mom and I figure stuff out during our free time. My dad was the one who covered the mortgage payments so I just want to help my mom pay for it so we have a roof over our heads, I don't have a job yet and am waiting for a slot where my parents worked and my mom is taking time off and using vacation/sick time to be paid before she has to go back. Issue is, her last paycheck is coming up. We're also trying to figure out stuff with a grief counselor, but I digress. It's only my mom, me and two cats now. The mortgage is a little over $700 a month and I don't want her to do everything by herself and be alone. So, if I open commissions and I'm still drained as it's been hard for me to even pick up a pencil I will start off with small things (like sketch comms, MLP comms, etc) just to get things started. I still have to figure out if I want to open a shop of my own or mess with sites like redbubble, I'm still figuring out Kofi for tips and payments there. I will update with the full information soon once everything is settled if I can. I'm just tired and mentally exhausted, possibly still going through shock, so I haven't felt the energy to keep up conversations so if you think I'm ignoring you, I'm not! I apologize if it's ever come off as such, things have been hectic. Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope all is well!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying someones phrasing hurt my feelings?

🧛🏽‍♂️🧛🏽‍♂️🧛🏽‍♂️ to find it

so for context I (28NB) do a lot of work in local community, mutual aid and shit. my city is fkn unlivable and too many of my loved ones have had to live homeless, give up meds, food, ect. I work with the morals 'do what you can when you can', and try to do well by that.

a while back a mutual mentioned a friend of theirs was houseless and needed a place to crash. I was in the process of moving and due to shitty circumstances i had to pay rent at my old place and new place for a month; i was gonna b living in my new place so i told the mutual to connect me w their friend and they could crash at my old place.

everything seemed to be goin well me and he were vibing, seemed to have stuff in common ect. he offered to pay me back the rent for the month and i said no bc thats not what u do when yr offering to help ppl out. i got him some groceries and left him my mattress, couch, and some other furniture.

i had done a decent clean and intended to come back the last weekend of the month i was paying to carpet clean ect, but then i got ~covid and had to isolate. Id lived at my old place for years so i doubted i was gonna get my full damage deposite back, but even tho i have a 9-5 im still tight on money and was hoping to get a hundred or two back.

my old landlord and this guy ended up cleaning the place because i Couldnt because Covid, and they paid themselves my damage depot in it's entirety. The guy said he'd update me when he knew more.

i texted him for an update and he said 'he couldnt justify' giving me any of the damage deposit. and that fucking hurt. it felt like a bit of a slap in the face after trying for a month to help this guy secure housing, navigate landlord, ect. And we're both trans/share community, and frankly, im a bit broke and was hoping for even a little. I didnt push for any when he said he wasnt going to give any, but i did tell him his phrasing kinda fucking sucked and hurt considering i wanted to help clean but i couldnt bc i literally had the plague.

after this he told me that he didnt have a thesaurus for the phrasing, meant what he said, and then told me to never contact him again. before this we were decent and amicable. its left me feeling disposable and used and just hurt.

so AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[kobebibebi]

I’ve seen your art around a few times, and it is stunning! How are you able to create such distinctive character designs (I saw the sot ones and they’re beautiful, especially Kenny)?! It’s incredible

Thank you friend :-)

OMGDHDGG#&$&-$&$&#&&$&$ HIIIIIIIII 💖💖💖💖 I LOVE UR MULTIVERSE FIC/AU <33333 UR AWSOME??????#-_?#&!;#&#&

sorry about thar,, anwyay

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! 😭💖💖💖

about my character designs especially for my fantasy au, i wanted to make each of the main 4 shine (and at least basically make each of them equally the main character,, tho i think i failed a bit since its obvious i liked princess kenny more lol)

in context they're all pretty important figures in the story, each leading their own faction so i think it just made sense that i would make them all have their own distinct fashion styles and vibes,

and since they're the first designs i made for this au i wanted to establish a style/vibe for each faction so i can have a guide on other characters belonging to those factions,

-like kyle's design having floral patterns and intricate clothing to show the long standing culture of the elves, i wanted to make him look the most traditional so i opted to give him A LOT of detailed patterns than he did in canon

-or a very simple and practical design for stan to show that unlike the others he (and his faction) focuses more on fighting and combat than being fashionable and presentable to the public, so i gave him simple clothing that isn't really too far from his actual canon design

-for cartman i wanted to emphasize his star motifs more and push more on his individuality as a wizard, in my au kupa keep is a freshly new faction in comparison to the elven kingdom so I really went hard on making his design focus on himself rather than his faction (which is honestly pretty in character now that i realize lol)

- and lastly princess kenny, i wanted to make a design that screams "i will go to war for her" considering her famous reputation for gaining followers simply for her looks and charms, and obviously with a very anime fantasy inspired design

im really glad i could share these 😭, i put a lot of thought, time and effort for these designs so thanks so much for asking this literally !!! i could go on for days on how i designed them 💔

(also sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for 😔 this is the first thing i thought of lol)

but rlly tho tysm im glad to hear that especially from u oh my goodness i actually freaked out and almost screamed in my classroom when i saw this ask 😭😭

and fr tho 😭 I really love your Top 3 reasons to not open a multidimensional time rift: number one will surprise you fic💖💖💖 i genuinely read it everyday and it's also stuck in my head get them out please /j, i love it so much and you're a really amazing writer + artist and i love ur works so this ask is so awesome for me (also we're mutuals now omgg)

[diorkyeom]

‘✷’ : CHAPTER ELEVEN “we're destined”

<< prev chapter | ao3 fic | chapter eleven

chapter word count: 7.8k+ (it's a beast of a chapter but i'm not sorry at all)

chapter warnings: curse words, alcohol, kissing, mildly unsafe activites (don't sit on rooftops while kissing y'all)

summary: "lately, seokmin had come to a realisation. joshua hong, seokmin thought, was a little bit of an enigma." - in which seokmin has known joshua for years, but he's always been a bit of a mystery to him. and as the days go by, he finds himself falling further and further for the enigmatic man, wanting to find out who the real Joshua Hong is behind his polite smiles and warm eyes and sweet words.

notes: cries,,, last chapter :'') okok you're all probably eager to read how this ends but i want to take a moment to say thank you so so much. all of your comments and notes mean sooo so much to me and im truly so glad to have had u on this journey! hope to see you again in any more things i might write <3

Joshua was definitely in love with Seokmin.

It was a fact of his life, at this point, something objectively true that Joshua had tucked away in his heart, that he constantly carried around with him but never, ever said out loud.

He never had need to, before. Not when Seokmin hadn’t remembered who he was, when they’d been nothing more than polite friends connected by a mutual friend and nothing more. There would have been no point in admitting his feelings if Seokmin hadn’t seen him with at least a certain degree of fondness first.

But now, they’d gotten closer, and it was getting harder and harder to hide.

It felt uncomfortable to hide something from Seokmin. His heart and mind protested, wondering why on earth he was hiding from the most important person in the world to him. His throat burned, sometimes, burned with the confession aching to leave his lips, with the want to whisper out a soft “I’m in love with you” to relieve the pain in his own heart.

It was a selfish want, though. A want to prevent his own self from hurting. And that was the only reason Joshua held it back: he didn’t want Seokmin to feel uncomfortable. Didn’t want to force his feelings onto him.

But being so close to Seokmin was making it more difficult to keep it in. 

Seokmin, with his bright smiles and bright voice and bright heart, with his great capacity for loving and being loved. Seokmin, who was warmer than the Sun’s rays, who was more magnetic than the largest star, who demanded Joshua’s full attention wherever they were and whenever they met—which he always gave, willingly, eagerly.

Seokmin was made to be loved. To be cherished, admired, adored.

And Joshua really, really wanted to be the one to love him.

There was a knock at the music office door, then, and Joshua pulled himself out of his reverie to see Seokmin wavering in the doorway, wearing a neat dress shirt with his blazer hanging over his arm. His hair was done up all nicely, too, soft bangs parted in a way which was both parts dashing and adorable, and Joshua smiled and beckoned him in.

“Hello,” he greeted as Seokmin stepped over to his desk. “Why are you here? The concert’s going to start soon.”

“I know,” Seokmin said, and then beamed. “I came to wish you good luck, of course! Or is it break a leg? Does that apply to music, or is it just theatre?” He pondered for a second, before shaking his head and beaming again. “Anyways, I’m here to wish you good luck!”

Joshua smiled, chuckling a little. “Thank you, Seokmin. You could’ve texted me, though. We have each other’s numbers, you know,” he pointed out, and Seokmin groaned, embarrassed.

“I’m gonna keep apologising until the end of time for that, hyung. I can’t believe I forgot,” Seokmin whined sadly. “But I wanted to come see you! I haven’t seen you since lunch,” he said, pouting a little, “and it’s already evening. So I wanted to see you for a bit before the concert starts.”

“Aw, you missed me that much, did you?” Joshua said teasingly, and then smiled. “Well, thank you for coming. To wish me good luck, and also to the concert. You really didn’t have to.”

Seokmin pffted, shaking his head rapidly. It made his hair fall into his eyes, and he brushed the strands away with a finger, not noticing the way Joshua’s eyes followed the delicate movement. “Wasn’t gonna miss it for the world, hyung. The others would’ve come, too, but who knew that private school music concert tickets are actually expensive?”

He sounded truly baffled by that, and Joshua laughed. 

“So I’m here as a substitute for our entire friend group,” Seokmin carried on, beaming. “When you see me in the seats, just imagine that it’s all twelve of us cheering our Shua hyung on.”

“Thank you, Seokmin,” Joshua said, patting Seokmin’s elbow. “It means a lot to me.” You mean a lot to me.

Seokmin blinked, and then smiled, shy and sparkly all at once. “Of course!” he chirped, and then grinned so wide that his eyes turned into little crescents.

It was horribly endearing. God, Joshua was so in love with him.

Seokmin opened his mouth again, looking like he was about to say something else before he promptly changed his mind, snapping his mouth shut and giving Joshua a smile. “Anyways, good luck out there! You’re going to do great.”

Before Joshua had time to say anything else, Seokmin leaned forward and pressed a fast kiss to his forehead before promptly zooming out of the office, leaving the door swinging open on its hinges.

Joshua gaped after him, left reeling as he tried to process what had just happened.

His face was curiously warm, and he touched his head in slight wonder, replaying the faint pressure of Seokmin’s lips over and over again in his mind. 

And then, slowly, a smile spread across his face, something bright and golden blooming in his chest.

In all his years that Seokmin had been teaching at this school, he’d never come to see the music concerts before.

Well.

───────────── ‘✷,

He never really had any need to. He was friendly with the music teachers, and he had students who took Music, but he’d never had a truly compelling reason to come to these. They started in the evening and lasted for a good few hours, after all. As much as he loved his students, Seokmin did kind of enjoy his sleep.

But now, here he was, sitting in the front row of seats reserved for teachers, listening to the entire concert and waiting for a certain someone to appear.

The a cappella group finished, and Seokmin clapped politely, looking down at the concert programme in his lap. The senior choir would be appearing in just three more acts. The last performance before the interval.

“They’re good, aren’t they?” a voice said in Seokmin’s ear, and he turned to look at the teacher sitting next to him.

“I’m sorry?” Seokmin blinked, before realising that the teacher was referring to the a cappella group. “Oh, yes. They’re very talented.”

The teacher regarded him for a moment, before smiling. The next performance (a string quartet?) walked onto the stage and began to set up to a round of applause. “You’re here for someone specific,” the teacher observed wisely, still smiling.

Seokmin smiled back, not sure whether to admit it or not. There were a decent amount of teachers here: the headmaster and deputy head had an obligation to come, of course, but the entire first row had been reserved for any other teachers that wanted to come, and it was decently filled. He was sure that most of them were here simply to support all the students, and he could group himself with them too.

Before he had a chance to say so, however, the teacher’s smile turned knowing.

“Mr. Hong, I presume?” he said, and Seokmin flushed so fast that it had the teacher laughing. The string quartet started playing, then, and any protest that Seokmin was attempting to form promptly melted away.

Because, well. He really was only here for Joshua.

Joshua, who he was in love with.

Joshua, who loved him too.

The string quartet soon finished, and then there was a flute solo, and then was the symphony orchestra before finally, finally, it was time for the senior choir, and Seokmin was well aware of how he visibly perked up as Joshua and the choir walked out on stage.

He raised his head, wide eyes hopefully following Joshua’s movements, hoping to catch his eye and show him that Seokmin was here, that he was watching, that he was so, so proud of Joshua even though they hadn’t even done anything yet.

And, to his utmost joy, Joshua’s eyes flicked down to meet his own for a brief second, smiling slightly before he promptly turned back to his choir. Seokmin beamed, delighted, relaxing back into his seat. Even the slightest glance was enough for him.

He watched with comfortable excitement as the applause died down, as Joshua raised his baton, and the opening notes of the piece rang through the air.

It was something in Spanish—a love song, if Seokmin was to believe the information printed into his concert programme—filled with rich harmonies and dramatic swells in volume that had Seokmin’s heart leaping wonderfully in his chest. He didn’t understand a word, but it was beautiful all the same, and the music washed over him as waves and waves of warmth and love.

As he watched Joshua, however, those waves smoothed into rosy pink silk, spinning tendrils of silver threads into the air and threading delicately around Joshua’s form, sparkling and soft all at once. The music teacher was fully immersed in the music, focused on bringing in the various voices whenever they were needed, keeping the pulse and helping the music flow smoothly.

And as Joshua conducted, the silk waved more enthrallingly around him, like a rippling, gentle aura of notes and music and sounds, completely entrancing Seokmin's very soul. 

They sang three pieces, and then came the interval, and the auditorium abruptly became so filled with parents attempting to leave to get refreshments and children coming barreling in to ramble about their performances, so Seokmin thought it would be best to stay in his seat until the stampede subsided.

When the choir finished, he clapped the loudest out of the entire audience.

───────────── ‘✷,

After the choir’s performance, the rest of the night was a blur to Seokmin.

He wanted to see Joshua, to tell him how well he did, how beautiful Seokmin had thought the entire thing was. 

His ears burned as he remembered how Joshua had looked up on the stage, like the master painter of the most beautifully coloured sounds in the world, and he grinned giddily.

As it was, however, by the time the crowd died down, it was time for the second half of the concert to begin, and so Seokmin didn’t get to see Joshua until right at the end, once all the parents were filing out of the auditorium, collecting their children in the foyer before finally exiting the school, leaving the exhausted music teachers behind.

“Shua hyung!”

The moment Joshua emerged from the auditorium doors, stepping into the hallway, Seokmin came bounding up to him and engulfed him in a hug.

Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise at the sudden hug, before his face melted into a laugh, arms automatically reaching around Seokmin to balance him even as he stumbled back a little, while Seokmin continued to bounce happily in his hold. 

“You did so, so well!” Seokmin gushed as he pulled away, arms still slung over Joshua’s neck. “Oh, it was so gorgeous, hyung. I loved the entire performance.”

“I’m glad you did,” Joshua said, eyes crinkling, hands resting comfortably around Seokmin’s back. “The children worked so hard.”

“You worked so hard too,” Seokmin said earnestly. Then his eyes widened. “I should’ve brought a bouquet of flowers, or something!” He pouted, disappointed at his lack of forethought. “Damn. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before.”

Joshua chuckled, gently extricating himself from Seokmin’s embrace before linking their fingers together instead, walking down the hallway and out into the foyer.

“Next time,” Joshua said, smiling. “You can do that next time.”

The head of the Music department was lingering in the foyer, helping tidying everything up, and when she caught sight of Joshua, she nodded in greeting, straightening.

“Joshua-ssi! Well done for tonight,” she said, walking over and shaking Joshua’s hand. “You did well with the choir.”

“Thank you,” he said, laughing. “It’s nothing compared to everything that you’ve done tonight. Thank you for organising this event for the school.”

“Oh, it’s all part of my job,” she said, waving a hand. She looked over at Seokmin and finally seemed to take note of their interlocked hands, her smile turning knowing. “Well, I won’t keep you. Have a safe trip home, you two.”

With one last smile at the two teachers, she turned around and resumed wheeling the standing chimes back to the Music department.

Seokmin watched her, tilting his head. “Why do I get the feeling she thinks we live together?”

Joshua chuckled. “She probably does,” he said, tugging Seokmin’s hand gently, leading them out of the school and into the cool night air. “I leave work with you every day, so it’s a reasonable conclusion.”

Seokmin looked over at Joshua, took in the relaxed, calm expression on his face, the way his hair ruffled slightly in the breeze. Joshua automatically pulled their intertwined hands into his coat pocket, keeping Seokmin's easily-frozen fingers protected from the cold. 

Seokmin smiled, facing forward again. “I guess so.”

He didn’t know how he hadn’t seen this before, how Joshua had been in love with him for so long. Now he could see how endearingly obvious it was, and it made it hard to keep his face from breaking out into a ridiculous grin every time he remembered.

How many times had Joshua caught his eye over a crowd of students? How many times had Joshua casually interlaced their fingers as they walked? How many times had Joshua watched him with gentle eyes while Seokmin rambled to him? 

For how long had Joshua been loving him quietly, softly, sweetly, just like this?

It was kind of insane, Seokmin mused, feeling himself flushing shyly at the mere memories. Insane that he was loved in such a way, by someone he loved just as much too. And to think, he’d been loved like this all this time, and he’d only just realised it now.

“I really liked the first piece the choir sang, hyung,” Seokmin chirped as they walked to the bus stop. “The Spanish one?”

“Oh, really?” Joshua said, smiling. “You liked it?”

“Yeah!” Seokmin hummed the melody, singing part of the refrain that repeated over and over. “That part where they all split into those different harmonies and they did that thing where the high part sang really high?” He attempted to imitate what he remembered, voice warbling and echoing in the quiet of the evening, high pitched and a little squeaky.

Joshua laughed, squeezing Seokmin’s hand slightly. “Yeah, I get what you mean. It’s a really nice piece. Did you know, the composer wrote it for someone special?”

Seokmin stopped his warbling to tilt his head as they neared the stop, automatically sitting down as they waited for the bus. It was routine, simple and natural, for him to press closer into Joshua’s side, like he belonged there.

“Let me guess, his wife?” Seokmin suggested, but Joshua shook his head.

“His best friend,” Joshua said, smiling. “He said that the love he held for his best friend went beyond mere words, and could only be captured in something more abstract and…  fervent. Like a song.”

Seokmin’s mouth fell open, and he awwed. “That’s so sweet.” He laughed a little, bumping Joshua’s side. “Hey, you should write a song for Jeonghan hyung.”

Joshua scrunched his nose playfully. “That brat? Never. He’s nothing but a nuisance.”

That made Seokmin laugh, head falling against Joshua’s shoulder, and above him, Joshua's smile widened.

“Oh, the bus is here,” Joshua said, and Seokmin lifted his head up. 

They stood up, and Joshua let go of his hand to reach for his card. It was decently empty in the bus, which was to be expected since it was rather late in the evening, and Seokmin shuffled into a seat by the window, Joshua next to him. Once they were seated, their fingers interlaced once more, and Seokmin desperately tried to dampen the flush that spread across his cheeks as Joshua’s warm palm pressed against his own.

“Anyway, hyung,” Seokmin said as the bus began moving again, “tell me what you were up to! What were you doing the entire afternoon?”

Joshua shrugged. “Nothing interesting, really.”

“Tell me still,” Seokmin said, squeezing Joshua’s hand. “I wanna know!”

Joshua glanced over at him, and his eyes softened, positively glowing under the bright lights of the bus. “Okay.”

And he did, and Seokmin listened attentively, paying such fervent attention to every word that fell from Joshua’s lips. He liked hearing him talk, liked listening to Joshua recount his day’s events in that satin soft voice of his. It was captivating, almost, like Joshua had this ability to entrance his very soul with his warm eyes and warm voice and warm smiles. Make Seokmin fall more and more in love with him with each passing second.

Like a real Aphrodite.

Before long, Joshua finished telling Seokmin about his day, and the conversation deviated from there, their animated conversation filling the otherwise cold silence of the bus until they finally reached their stop, getting off and beginning to walk.

“—and she’s been climbing the stairs in crutches the entire time,” Seokmin said, shaking his head. “I was horrified. I told her that we have, like, three different elevators in this school that she could use instead, and she looked at me like she was the one who was most horrified.”

Joshua chuckled as they turned a corner and began walking down the street to his and Jeonghan’s house. “I admire her and her iron will to get up those stairs. It’s hard.”

“And really dangerous,” Seokmin said, eyebrows furrowing with worry. “I don’t know how she did it. It’s a miracle she hadn't injured herself more.”

“Well, I’m glad you pointed her in the direction of the elevators,” Joshua said. “That could have been disastrous if she’d kept going.”

Seokmin nodded vigorously. “It really could have.” 

They had reached Joshua’s house now, the lights in the windows indicating that Jeonghan was still up and about. Joshua stood in front of the gate, and his hand was still in Seokmin’s. They’d held hands the entire way home. A record, Seokmin noticed with a slight smile. Neither of them had shied away halfway through.

“Well, this is me,” Joshua said with a smile. He lightly brushed his thumb over Seokmin’s knuckles before letting go of his hand, stepping back. “Thank you for coming today, Seokmin. It means a lot to me.”

Seokmin beamed. “Of course, hyung! I told you, I wasn’t gonna miss it for the world.” He smiled again, softer this time. “You were amazing, too. You did so well.”

“Thank you,” Joshua said, and then ducked his head, almost shy. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Of course I think so. You’re the most amazing person in the world to me.” 

Seokmin blinked, surprised at the way his inner thoughts had somehow managed to make their way past his lips. Nevertheless, he just grinned, because it didn’t make his words any less true.

“Anyways, off you go,” Seokmin said before Joshua could say anything else. “Shoo, hyung. Go and get your sleep. It’s a Friday tomorrow, and we still have work.”

Joshua pulled a face at that. “I can’t believe we still have work.” He pushed the gate open, giving a small wave to Seokmin. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Seokmin nodded with a big smile, and Joshua gave him a big, sweet smile in return, full of lilac fondness and silvery, satiny love.

Wow.

Joshua really did love him.

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin called out suddenly, leaning against the gate. Joshua, walking down the path to his front door, stopped and turned around at Seokmin’s voice, walking a few steps back towards him.

It was dark, but Joshua’s eyes were bright, attentive. “Seokmin?”

Seokmin swallowed, heart hammering in his throat.

I like you.

The words were on the tip of his tongue, sugary soft and melting, sweetening his entire being, and Joshua was looking at him with such a warm gaze, gilded gold and open and real and he wanted nothing more than to give Joshua the entirety of his heart.

But… no. It didn’t feel quite right to say those words. Not yet, at least.

So Seokmin shook his head, smiling.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just well done for tonight, hyung. I’m so glad I came.”

And it really was dark, but Seokmin could see how Joshua both softened and brightened at his words.

“I’m glad you came too,” he returned, giving another smile before waving. “Goodnight, Seokmin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You ditched us,” Seungkwan accused, standing with his arms crossed in the hallway as Seokmin opened the door, making the apartment owner yelp.

Seokmin watched him go, still clutching onto the gate, his head and heart spinning in delighted circles, three words and eight letters echoing in his mind.

───────────── ‘✷,

“What are you doing here?” Seokmin asked, clutching his chest, having genuinely gotten a fright from seeing Seungkwan looming like a foreboding shadow in his hall. 

Seungkwan shook his head, arms still crossed, but the frown on his face had melted into a pout that was more adorable than intimidating. “Cause you ditched us!”

Seokmin laughed, albeit a little confusedly, taking off his shoes and coat and gently holding Seungkwan’s shoulders, manoeuvring the younger man so he could walk past him. “Where’s hyung?” Seokmin asked as Seungkwan trailed after him into the kitchen, still grumbling about how Seokmin had abandoned them. 

“Soonyoung hyung’s in his room,” Seungkwan said. “He’s moping ‘cause you ditched us.”

“I went to my school’s concert to support my students,” Seokmin corrected, downing a glass of water before walking out of the kitchen, Seungkwan still following him like a little puppy. “Plus, I only ditched Soonyoung, didn’t I? How did I ditch you too?”

He knocked on Soonyoung’s bedroom door and opened it to find the elder sitting on the floor, bent over one of their 1000+ piece puzzles that they kept buying and regretting after because both of them were terrible at puzzles. He’d never seen Soonyoung actually try completing them before.

“You ditched both of us,” Soonyoung said, frowning intensely down at the jigsaw pieces. “Seungkwan was due to come over tonight, remember?”

“Yeah,” Seungkwan said, pouting as he bounced onto Soonyoung’s bed. “But you ditched us for some guy.”

Seokmin shook his head, crouching down next to Soonyoung to look down at his puzzle too. “I didn’t ditch you for some guy, though,” he pointed out, picking up a puzzle piece and trying and failing to fit it into the meagre section that Soonyoung had successfully filled. “Shua hyung’s our friend, not just some guy.”

From Soonyoung’s bed came a muffled huff. Seungkwan had wrapped himself up in Soonyoung’s blankets, almost suffocating himself in the amount of tiger plushies on the elder’s bed.

“We were still ditched.”

“I apologise,” Seokmin said, tilting his head in confusion as he looked at the puzzle pieces and the picture on the back of the box. “The concert went well, by the way. I had fun. Thanks for asking.”

“Right, how did your boyfriend’s concert go?” Soonyoung asked flatly, before abruptly pushing away the puzzle pieces, grumbling in annoyance at how difficult it was before flopping onto his bed, squashing Seungkwan’s legs and making the younger man yelp.

Seokmin didn’t even bat an eye, used to their antics, and scratched his head, mildly confused. “Shua hyung’s not my boyfriend.”

“He should be,” Soonyoung responded from where he was still lying on Seungkwan. “Hey, Kwan, don’t you think they fit together so well?”

“What, those jigsaw pieces?” Seungkwan said, struggling to kick Soonyoung off him. “No. I didn’t wanna say anything, but you suck at puzzles, hyung.”

“What? No. I meant Seokmin and Joshua hyung.”

“Oh!” Seungkwan’s eyes lit up at that, and he finally managed to shove Soonyoung away, sitting up. His eyes gleamed as he grinned at Seokmin, who was still crouching next to the failed jigsaw puzzle, looking up at them confusedly.

He tilted his head, looking Seokmin up and down, before nodding his head resolutely.

“They kinda look like they’re destined.”

Seokmin let out a surprised laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Soonyoung didn’t seem confused by Seungkwan’s statement, and just nodded vigorously. “Totally agreed. They kinda balance each other out, you know?”

“Yeah! But they’re both really lovely and infuriating.”

“Exactly! The lovely hyung and the lovely dongsaeng.”

“They’re perfect.”

“Literally meant to be.”

“Divined by the fates.”

Seokmin shook his head, standing up and holding a hand out to stop them. “Wha—what are you talking about?” His cheeks were red, and it was actually kind of embarrassing how flustered he became at the mere idea of him and Shua hyung even though they were teasing. “You guys are literally the worst, you know.”

Seungkwan tsked, wagging a finger. “Look at this, you’re lashing out. We’re just telling you the truth.”

“We are,” Soonyoung agreed, nodding gravely. “This is why you should stop being a chicken and confess.”

“Alas, he can’t do that,” Seungkwan added on with faux sadness, and Seokmin wondered yet again why he was friends with them. They still hadn’t asked him properly how the concert went, either. Seokmin was planning to sulk extravagantly over that later. “If only he knew that his beloved Shua hyung is in l—”

A hand shot out and slapped over Seungkwan’s mouth, muffling his next words, and Soonyoung not-so subtly glared over at the younger. Seokmin paused, tilting his head, the cogs turning in his mind as a slow smile spread over his face.

“That my beloved Shua hyung is in love with me too?” Seokmin finished, smiling wider. He stood up and leapt onto Soonyoung’s bed, making them all bounce up and down. “I knew that already.”

Soonyoung’s eyes grew comically wide. Seungkwan’s mouth fell open, getting saliva all over Soonyoung’s hand and making the elder snatch back his hand in disgust.

“You knew?” Seungkwan said, voice shaky.

“Yeah?” Seokmin adjusted himself on the bed, crossing his legs comfortably. “I’m not as dumb as you think.”

A grin spread across Seungkwan’s face, and he slapped Soonyoung’s knee while crowing delightedly, loud and triumphant. “I didn’t think you were dumb, but hyung did! Gimme all your money, Soonyoung hyung, I told you he’d be able to figure it out.”

Seokmin’s eyes widened. “You made another bet?” he asked, as Soonyoung grumbled at Seungkwan and promised to get his wallet later. He put a hand over his chest, dramatically hurt. “I can’t believe you’d make such hurtful assumptions about my intelligence. Did you forget that I have a master’s degree?”

“Soonyoung hyung forgot. I didn’t,” Seungkwan declared proudly, while Soonyoung huffed and shoved the younger’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but you also had too much faith in how long it’d take Seok to realise his own feelings,” Soonyoung pointed out. “He was more than a year later than your prediction.”

“Oh yeah, about that,” Seokmin interjected before they started arguing again. “Why did you make that bet in the first place? Shua hyung and I weren't even close friends over a year ago.”

Instantly, Seungkwan’s head whipped upwards, and his eyes were a light with mischief as he leaned forward. “My dearest Seokmin hyung, if only you knew how much evidence there was. Whenever we have Game Night, when you get drunk enough, you'll spend half an hour just staring at Joshua hyung in the corner. You always ask Jeonghan hyung where Joshua hyung is when the guy comes to your apartment ‘cause he's bored. And Soonyoung hyung said that you've admitted that you think Joshua hyung is the prettiest out of our friend group more than a hundred times.”

Soonyoung mouthed along to the end of Seungkwan's mini speech, nodding at Seokmin's speechless face. “It's true. I think you've always had this small crush on him.”

“No I haven't,” Seokmin said, reddening. “I—Don't you think Shua hyung's really pretty? And I don't stare at him,” he added, frowning. “I just—he's just… pretty.”

Soonyoung and Seungkwan blinked up at him. 

“Look at him, you've made him defensive,” Soonyoung said in Seungkwan's direction. 

“Me? You joined in too!”

“Oh, so it's my fault?”

“Hey! Why are you placing blame in the first place?”

Seokmin shook his head as the two of them descended into bickering again, massaging his temples. The tiredness was catching up with him, having spent a full day at work and most of his evening at the concert only to come back to his two friends arguing about who had or hadn’t underestimated his intelligence. Sometimes, he felt like the mother to two unruly children.

“Alright, kids, I’m going to bed,” he said, getting up from Soonyoung’s bed. “Don’t stay up too late ‘cause we all have work tomorrow. Brush your teeth properly. I also almost confessed to Shua hyung today. Goodnight.”

With that, he zoomed out to his own bedroom as Soonyoung’s room exploded into a cacophony of noise, both of them crying out in outrage.

“What do you mean almost?”

“Get back out there and confess to him properly!”

Seokmin laughed as there was the thundering sound of footsteps, hurriedly shutting his bedroom door. It wouldn’t stave them off for long, and within seconds they’d be bursting into his room, demanding an explanation for what he’d just said, but he took a few seconds to smile widely to himself, giddy and delighted at how fervently (and kind of aggressively) his friends supported him.

“And then Jeonghan hyung said—very politely, very professionally—‘Sir, what the fuck is wrong with you?’” Seungkwan was saying, exaggerated accent and all, and everyone descended into shrieks of laughter, falling into each other across the floor of Jeonghan and Joshua's living room. 

It sure was nice to be in love.

───────────── ‘✷,

Seokmin laughed too, head tilted back, because even though the story had been told countless times over the years, it never failed to make him laugh. 

“And then he shortened the deadline,” Seokmin added in through his own snorts of laughter, and mimicked the look of utter horror that had been on Jeonghan's face when they received the email. 

Jeonghan, pink with laughter, had his mug of beer precariously in one hand and when he shrugged, it spilled onto the armrest of the couch he was perched on. “Our professor was crazy as shit,” he said, laughing. “Who gives their students only five days to write a four-page analysis paper on Frankenstein?”

“And because of hyung's comment, we ended up only having three,” Seungkwan squeaked, barely able to breathe, and everyone descended into laughter again. 

It was Game Night once more, and Seokmin always found himself marvelling at how quickly everything devolved away from the night's original purpose of, well, playing games. 

Seokmin’s head was pounding a little, but his mind was clear, having had merely a mug of beer when he'd arrived at Jeonghan's house some hours ago. His own voice rang in his ears as he yelled additional details for the new story Seungkwan was telling. The younger then accidentally slapped Soonyoung across the face with his hands and Seokmin roared with laughter, slumping back against the couch, the floor cold underneath him, Chan’s knee digging into his back.

That was when he looked over at Joshua, sitting there on the floor a little ways opposite him, smiling.

Huh.

Seokmin felt a strange sense of deja vu, reminded of one Game Night many, many months ago, much like the one he was living through right now. The one where he'd first realised the enigma that was their Joshua hyung. 

The one that started it all. 

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin called out, and almost instantly, Joshua looked up at him, as if he'd attuned himself to the specific sound of Seokmin's voice. 

With a smile, the elder beckoned him over, and it took a bit of awkward butt-shuffling on Seokmin's part, but soon he was sitting comfortably next to Joshua, the two of them watching the chaos unfold before them in the living room. 

“Hello,” Joshua said, smiling. “How are you?”

The echoing of Joshua's words from long ago made Seokmin chuckle, nudging his shoulder against Joshua's. “You don't sound very drunk, hyung.”

He chuckled. “Well, Jeonghan looks absolutely wasted, and we need at least one sober person to clean the mess after you guys leave.”

“Ah.” Seokmin grinned at Joshua's words, almost an exact copy from that one Game Night long ago. He could feel his face stretching into a smile, big and wide and he just thought it was so cool that they both understood that this was a situation they'd lived through before. That makes sense.”

There was a brief respite in conversation between the two, and Soonyoung’s voice filtered through. He looked like he was trying some sort of interpretive dance in the middle of the room again, and Hansol was lying dead on the floor, again, and Seokmin wanted to laugh at the craziness of how everything was exactly the same as that first Game Night. 

He yelled out to them, hands cupped over his mouth that someone was gonna get hurt, adding to the general cacophony. 

“You don’t sound like you’re going to help them, though,” Joshua said, teasing and soft all at the same time, once Seokmin took his hands away from his mouth.

Seokmin beamed. “Nope! Why would I?”

That made Joshua laugh, and the room was so noisy, but his laugh was clear, transparent and twinkling in Seokmin's ears. 

They sat there comfortably side by side, neither of them saying a word. Joshua sipped water from his wine glass, and Seokmin's eyes couldn't help but flick over to him from time to time, marvelling at just how effortlessly pretty Joshua was at all times. 

It had always been obvious, even before Seokmin had realised he was in love with him. Joshua had been someone untouchable, elusive and enigmatic and endlessly pretty. Seokmin had always thought he was pretty, thought he was someone that people would definitely fall in love with. 

Like an Aphrodite. Like a Venus. 

Huh. Maybe he'd been destined to love Joshua all along. 

So as he looked over at Joshua, he took in the soft curl of his lips, the gentle slope of his nose, the fondness in his eyes at he gazed out at the rest of their friend group, before Joshua turned his head to look at him, and that fondness melted, dissolving into something warmer, sweeter. 

Oh. 

Seokmin had almost forgotten that Joshua loved him too. 

“Hey, Seokmin,” Joshua said softly, and suddenly he was all up in Seokmin’s personal space, lips close to his ear so he could hear him properly. Yet again, Seokmin had a strange sense of deja vu at this scenario. 

Only, Joshua's next words were different. 

Seokmin poked his head above the open skyline window, blinking wide-eyed as Joshua sat down on the roof tiles.

Joshua smiled, eyes sparkling. “It’s too noisy here. Do you wanna join me on the roof?”

───────────── ‘✷,

“Hello,” Joshua said, when Seokmin didn’t move and continued to stare over at him. He patted the tiles next to him, beckoning Seokmin to come sit next to him. “What are you doing over there?”

“I’ve never seen your roof before,” Seokmin said, and his tone was so earnest that Joshua smiled at the oddity of it. 

“I would’ve been a little concerned if you’ve seen my roof before,” he replied, as Seokmin swung his legs over the window frame, shuffling awkwardly across the roof tiles to where he was sitting. 

Seokmin laughed, settling at Joshua’s side, wordlessly reaching over and holding his hand. “I guess so.” He craned his neck upwards, looking up at the sky. It was a peaceful night, and the faint echoes of their friends screaming downstairs were almost nonexistent. “So, this is where you always disappear to?”

Joshua looked down at their intertwined fingers, Seokmin’s thumb absentmindedly rubbing circles over his knuckles. “Most of the time, yeah.”

“Huh.” Seokmin looked up at the cloudy night sky, and then looked over at Joshua, only to find the elder already smiling at him, eyes glowing a gentle silver. He smiled back, lips curling upwards. “It’s so pretty.”

Joshua smiled wider, before ducking his head and looking away.

They sat in comfortable silence for several moments longer, the echoes of their friends screeching at each other sounding distant, like they were aeons away from anyone else. Seokmin watched as the wispy clouds drifted by and slowly, slowly revealed the silver glow of the moon.

He looked over at Joshua again, observed the silvery prettiness of Joshua’s irises before looking back at the moon, smiling. 

“Exactly the same,” he murmured to himself. 

“Hm?” Joshua turned to him questioningly, but Seokmin just shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” He nudged Joshua gently. “Hey, hyung, doesn’t this remind you of the first time that we met? You, know, at that party that Mingyu busted us into and I found you on the roof and—”

“—I cried my eyes out in front of you and gave you my number but didn’t give you my name?” Joshua said, smiling. “Yeah. I remember.”

Seokmin’s eyes crinkled. “You didn’t cry that hard. And you still looked really pretty anyway.”

That made Joshua laugh, the corners of his lips lifting upwards and Seokmin’s heart lifted along with them. Somewhere below them, Chan screamed.

“Well, thank you.” Still smiling, Joshua turned back to look up at the moon. “Wow, that feels so long ago, though. It’s been so many years since we first met.”

“It really has,” Seokmin agreed, squeezing Joshua’s hand gently. “I’m so glad we met again. I’m glad that we managed to become… close.”

Joshua glanced over at him, and their eyes met for the briefest moment, then Joshua chuckled and looked back up at the moon. “I’m glad too,” he said. “You’re a wonderful person, Seokmin. And to have had the privilege of knowing you this well, of being able to spend so much time with you…” He looked over at him again, soft like clouds and silver like the moon. “You’ve become someone who’s really, really important to me.”

Oh… Seokmin bit his lips in a futile attempt to prevent the flush rapidly rising up his cheeks. Goodness, it was impossible not to fall in love with Joshua when he kept saying things like that.

“You’re someone incredibly important to me, too,” Seokmin managed to say through his intense blushing. He grinned, nudging Joshua in the side. “You’re my Aphrodite, aren’t you? The person who’ll treat me gently for all time. And I’m gonna treat my Aphrodite like the most precious person in the entire world.”

Joshua’s smile only widened at that, eyes crinkling into the prettiest crescents, and Seokmin marvelled at how someone’s smile managed to make his heart feel so full.

“Anyways, hyung,” he said, squeezing Joshua’s hand once. “You never finished telling me that story at lunch. The one about your first years and the broken guitars?”

“Oh!” Joshua’s eyes lit up. “Did I not?”

And from there, the conversation flowed endlessly, with them discussing everything and anything out there on the rooftop, hands intertwined, the wind ruffling Joshua’s hair and Seokmin staring at him, mesmerised, being reminded again and again just how much he loved him.

It was just… Joshua’s entire being that did it for Seokmin. The way he was so gentle and loving at all times, and the rooftop was kind of cold but Joshua was always so warm by his side and his heart felt so incredibly full of love for everything that Joshua was and everything he made him feel.

Joshua was always so pretty. Seokmin knew that. But now, the silver light of the moon illuminated one side of his face, and his pretty lips were curled into an endeared smile as he looked at Seokmin like he was the brightest star in the entire universe, recounting a fond memory of the children from a few years ago at his church, and Seokmin didn’t think that Joshua had ever looked more beautiful than right now.

A real Aphrodite, indeed.

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin said, as Joshua took a brief pause in the middle of his tale. Joshua gave a small smile, eyebrows raising slightly in acknowledgement, attentive.

“Hm?”

His gaze was open, expression golden and content, willing to listen to whatever Seokmin had wanted to say, even if it interrupted what he was talking about before. This was the real Joshua, Seokmin thought. The one open with himself, with Seokmin, with all the love he held. The one true Joshua.

Seokmin loved him so, so much.

“I love you,” Seokmin said, and the words fell from his lips before he even realised what was happening, threading through the air between them, pink silk ribbons brushing against his lips and Joshua’s cheeks. “I love you, Shua hyung.”

Joshua paused, eyes widening, and for one, horrible second, Seokmin feared that he was going to be rejected.

Instead, though, Joshua’s face softened and he grinned. “I know.” And then he carried on talking. “And I had to carry her up the stairs to the pulpit, but of course, she’s so small that I also had to lift her so she could see over the top—”

The dread in Seokmin’s stomach turned into bewilderment so fast that he felt a little queasy.

“Wh—You do?”

Joshua ceased talking again, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “I do.”

Seokmin blinked, and gently untangled their hands to sit up properly. Joshua let him, though a small pout formed on his lips before he too sat up straight. Seokmin scratched his head, lost. Everything was… weird. He hadn’t meant to confess, but he certainly hadn’t expected Joshua’s reaction either. 

“Are you… are you sure?” he checked. “Cause, uh, Jeonghan hyung said that there was no way you knew.”

Joshua laughed. “Jeonghan underestimates me sometimes. I've spent my whole life observing people. I know how to be observant.” He nudged Seokmin in the side. “Especially if I'm observing you.” Joshua smiled again, and it was that fluffy soft smile that never failed to make Seokmin want to melt into his arms and never do anything else ever again.

“W—When did you figure it out?” Seokmin asked, a little dazed, eyes wide. “Am I really that obvious with my feelings?”

“Kind of,” Joshua said, a little teasingly, and laughed again when Seokmin pouted. “No, it’s just because I’ve been in love with you for years. Since the day we met, in fact,” he added, and his smile widened when Seokmin looked at him in amazement. “And I just… hoped that maybe you could like me too.”

“Oh,” Seokmin breathed, warmth spreading in his chest. 

Joshua smiled, all pink silk and white roses and golden skies. “You’re my Sun, Seokmin,” he said. “My light. I see you in everything, and I’m drawn to you wherever you go. But I guess it was only… that night, where you sang for the first time, and you called me an Aphrodite.” His smile turned shy. “That’s when I started to hope you’d like me back.”

“Oh, wow,” Seokmin said, a hushed whisper. “That’s when I realised I loved you too.”

They shared twin smiles at that, giddy, cream clouds and cerulean blue skies.

Joshua leaned forwards, gaze endlessly soft, and gently tucked a stray hair out of Seokmin’s eyes. “Seokmin,” he began, and it sent a warm thrill through him yet again, marvelling at how Joshua managed to say his name so reverently, like something to be cherished. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

Distantly, Seokmin thought he could hear Mingyu getting attacked by their friends downstairs. But he barely registered it, more focused on how Joshua’s face was closer to his than before, eyes an endless brown that he could drown into, lips curling into a smile when Seokmin’s gaze flicked down towards them.

“Of course,” Seokmin whispered, and his eyes fluttered shut in bliss when Joshua smiled, delighted, and closed the distance between them to softly press his lips against his own.

And, oh, it was the most beautiful thing in the world, to be kissed by Joshua. His hands, big and warm and gentle, came up to cup his face, painting blossom pinks across his cheekbone every time his thumb brushed against it. Seokmin all but melted, hands reaching up to cling to his shirt, needing something to hold onto to prevent himself from floating away. 

Joshua kissed him so delicately, like he was made of spun glass, gently pulling him impossibly closer like he was something to be cherished, and Seokmin could hear his own pulse singing in his ears as he kissed him back, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as he tilted his head, pressing his mouth more firmly against Joshua’s, smiling in complete and utter joy because goodness, how was it possible that Joshua’s lips were even softer and sweeter than they looked?

Seokmin had nowhere nearly gotten his fill of Joshua’s mouth on his own when a thought occurred to him, pulling away with some reluctance. Joshua hummed in mild discontent, trying to chase his lips again, and Seokmin’s heart almost exploded at how endearing the sound was.

“Mm, wait a minute, hyung,” Seokmin smiled, giggling as Joshua slowly opened his eyes, pouting his kissed-pink lips. 

Joshua nudged his nose against Seokmin’s, fond. “What’s wrong, sunshine?”

Seokmin was going to need to have a word with Joshua about dropping pet names out of the blue if he didn’t want Seokmin to combust on the spot.

“You forgot something,” Seokmin said, after taking a few seconds to compose himself. “You didn’t say ‘I love you’ back.”

Joshua paused. He leaned back a little, hands resting on Seokmin’s shoulders. “I called you my Sun, my light, my everything, and you don’t think I love you?” he asked, tilting his head. “You’re the brightest star in my skies, Seokmin.”

“Well, yeah,” Seokmin said, valiantly ignoring his own blush, “But I want you to say the words.” He ducked his head, suddenly shy. “I just… I wanna hear you say you love me.”

That made Joshua laugh, and he nudged his nose against Seokmin’s again, making the younger look up, golden adoration making his next words sparkle against the cool night air.

“Seokmin,” Joshua said softly, and his eyes crinkled into those adoring crescents. “I love you too.”

Seokmin beamed, beamed brighter than a thousand stars and he surged forwards, hands threading through Joshua’s hair as he pulled him close so their lips connected once more. Joshua laughed into his mouth, one hand steadying them on the rooftop tiles, the other holding onto Seokmin’s waist as they kissed under the moonlight.

It was kind of incredible, Seokmin thought, smiling into the kiss when Joshua nipped playfully at his bottom lip. Incredible that he'd managed to find his own Venus. Someone to love greatly, with all his heart. Who loved him greatly back. 

Seokmin pulled away slightly, gazing into Joshua's eyes and finding himself speechless at how much love practically glowed within Joshua's irises, before his eyes crinkled and he leaned in to press their lips together again. 

It was also incredible how that Venus had ended up being his beloved Shua hyung. 

Maybe the Venus really had always meant to love the Sun. 

And perhaps the Sun had always been destined to love the Venus too.

taglist: @fairyhaos @atinytinaa @my-moarmy-heart @weird-bookworm @weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl @lilsafsafbooyah @stqrrgirle @bittersweet-folder @ultrara-re @tianakings @bangantokchy @tiinkerbell @ahuiahoe @leigh-darling

[httpjeonlicious]

✨ 💖 my favorite jungkook ffs 💖 ✨

—> the ones i’m recommending are definitely worth reading!! I’ve read these more than TWICE and i’m still obsessed 😌 --> ALL OF THESE FICS ARE 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT --> show love and appreciation to the authors

—> if y’all have any recs lmk 😭

-_- i have to much free time -_- ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────── [key] ✿ - fluff ✮ - smut ⚡︎ - angst

1999 | jjk (m) by tattookoo ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ (childhood neighbors to friends to lovers)

summary: the year was 1999. boybands were wearing all-white outfits, everybody wanted an ibook or a tamagotchi, tlc didn’t want no scrubs, fight club was playing in movie theaters and you became jeon jungkook’s fake girlfriend in order to fix his reputation.

2002 | jjk (m) by tattookoo ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ (est relationship au)

summary: the year was 2002. kelly clarkson won the first season of american idol, mtv had everybody glued to their tvs, von dutch was the brand, people were total losers if they didn’t quote shrek or harry potter and you broke the distance with your pro athlete boyfriend, jungkook.

related drabbles -> may 18 | tiny

my note:

i highly recommend reading 1999 (and the related drabbles) this story is in my top 10. i've probably read the story like 4 times now... (im not even joking). both jk and y/n have a special place in my heart. i absolutely adore all the characters in the story. its so well written *chefs kiss* i truly hope you enjoy it like i did ♡ YALL I CANNOT FIND THIS FIC ANYMORE. IF U KNOW WHAT HAPPENED PLEASE LMK 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★

next couple of recommendations are mostly gonna be from @thvhoe because i love all her stories so much. all these stories are amazing, creative, stunning, all of the above.... they literally are the definition of chefs kiss 🤌🏻 bon appetit b1tch3s ♡♡♡ :) send her love and kisses &lt;;/3

Fight Or Flight|jjk (m) ✿ ✮ by thvhoe (best friends brother)

summary: You want to disappear and sink into the ground—we're talking code red. As a result of the horrible events of accidentally sending your nudes to your best friend's brother, your life appears to change drastically. Beautiful, arrogant, and quickly developing into a star fighter—many factors should prevent you from falling for Jeon Jungkook. For years, you've kept your feelings for him a secret. Yet, ever since he has seen you in your underwear, it can become difficult to conceal your emotions when you see him practically daily.

Our Not So Secret Secret|jjk (m) ✿ ✮ by thvhoe (college AU)

summary: When someone learns that Jungkook has been secretly keeping a puppy in his room despite not being allowed to, he turns to ask the only other person who knows about his secret for help. And suddenly you two—who had long been bitter enemies—get very close. (i re-read this story at least twice a month this is literally amazing. highly recommend this one!!!!!)

IN THE SEOM MASTERPOST|jjk (m) ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ by thvhoe (college AU)

summary: Always the friend, never the girlfriend. Jeon Jungkook doesn't date. At least that's what he thought until he met you, a chemistry student who seemed to have it all—except for love. Meeting at a mutual friends frat party, you hit it off right away. However, due to both of your stubbornness, it has never progressed beyond being friends with benefits. The annual camping trip with your friend group was supposed to be the turning point in your relationship with Jungkook. But what happens when your best friend of 18 years unexpectedly comes back from Busan and confesses to you, further complicating matters?

MUSCLE PIG|jjk (m) ✮ by thvhoe

summary: Your winter blues lead you to join a gym, where you encounter a person you'd prefer to avoid. However, because the odds are never in your favor, you wind up running into him. Eventually, one thing leads to another, and...

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION MINI SERIES| jjk (m) ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ by thvhoe (Lawyer Millionaire Jungkook x Student apprentice Reader)

summary: Being the most prominent attorney in South Korea, Jeon Jungkook enjoys the fame, wealth, and marriage that go along with it. Although Jungkook realizes that he may have taken life too quickly and needs to slow down a bit, he finds solace in the daughter of his Boss.

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

Don't Blame Me|jjk (m) ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ by thvhoe (Neighbours to lovers AU)

summary: Jungkook is known for his good looks and is often described by your friends as "daddy material." Funny enough, he actually was a daddy. The daddy of the baby girl you babysit every Saturday. Working as a nanny for the world's grumpiest single dad should have been easy, but you can't keep your eyes off him. He's handsome, a little arrogant, with broad shoulders and strong tattooed arms. And when he decides he can't keep his hands off of you. Who are you to resist?

SPICY 'N SWEET MASTERPOST|jjk (m) ✿ ✮ ⚡︎ by thvhoe (Boxer Jungkook x shy ballerina Reader)

my note: im currently reading this mini series and let me tell u, this is so good. idk if its bc its boxer jk x ballerina y/n BUT ITS SOO GOOD. this is currently an ongoing series but its definitely worth the wait

summary: Jeon Jungkook is the perfect guy… to piss off your parents. He’s buff, inked up and the definition of their worst nightmare but hey, when love comes knocking on your door there’s not much you can do. It’s not like you planned on falling for him… it just kind of happened, and honestly, you're not even mad about it. Not at all.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ ☆ ★ ✮ ★

—>

[wonryllis]

MOOT GAME : " put your moots and their biases in a prompt generator and rate them!! "

only if u want to ^^

、ㅤ🍓 ⋆ ࣪ 午 MOOTS IN PROMPT GENERATOR ᵎᵎ

that's such a creative game! loved doing this!! since this is an enblr account i've only done enha bias,, included everyone except those who have left or are inactive or whose bias i don't know. (p.s. @okwonyo this is the one i suspected was you :) ( MUTUALS )

@jaesvelvet ( cha )

jay. cuteee 8/10 and then taking pictures and getting sad when the cast comes off but really like drawing on cast is therapeutic.

sunghoon. that's straight up soft romance like ahhh 10/10 sucks for that friend to see y'all lovey dovey even in sleep but that's literally the purest thing everrrr

heeseung. now this is my thing, we're getting on to the real deal everything/10 can read this trope thousand times and still love love love it though cha it'll be pretty sad for you bae.

@hoes4hoseok ( piper ) & @heelvsted ( rin ) & @boyfhee ( caelin )

jay. this is crack, full of crack but this trope is saurrr good one of the best of all times and piper would probably elevate it even further obvious x obvious 11/10 we all love that don't we.

heeseung. oh my god rin you living in a f2l fanfic this is so good and cute and fluffy like 17/10 imagine lee heeseung cheering you up with his silly jokes and rizzless(full) attempts at flirting. if you ain't falling for him there's and then, then you are god's strongest soldier.

heeseung. this is 1000000/10 this is so unique, don't know if it's cael's cup of tea but it's definitely mine! crack and romance,,, next level of crack like imagine cael getting her enemies to lovers arc after becoming a ghost and scaring the daylights out of people, fun right?

@jangwonie ( fae ) & @atrirose ( seiu ) & @jungqkook ( aurora/haru )

jungwon. this is totally my type again, the sick in love would do anything to see you happy tolerate all your shit, find it adorable ... 99/10 those lovesick eyes that watch you tell the most unhinged thing and think of how much they love you and how cute you are and how much you mean to them. like okayyyyy that's love.

riki. so cute so cute so cute so cute,,, love/10 literally so good sei is living in her own yn world and we are all just side characters. and not to mention this is so riki too he'd definitely fight and then somehow be discovered by the one he has feelings for and they boom the awkward confession and kiss ahhhhh i'm in love with this prompt,, kinda manga vibes which i loveeee

heeseung. noooo this is the cutest yet saddest prompt everrrr,,, haruu babe im so sorry this had to be it buttt let's look at the cute and crack part only especially if you get scared and startled easily imagine him trying to talk to you not having shown himself yet and you just get scared and scream lmao 9/10 becuz i don't wanna see haru sad.

@enhalov ( muse ) & @okwonyo ( jiah/bambi )

jay. the perfect little yn moment straight out of "how to get your crush to notice you" 100000000/10 love love love thisss, museee you got such a banger prompt, so so so fanfic coded i can't stress enough on how perfect it is and how much you suit this!!!

sunoo. this is a kdrama moment! 7/10 because pda (i feel shy even witnessing it) but good for muse you're showing it off to everyone and that too on ny eve like imagine the fireworks finishing off and then sunoo goes for a kiss becuz now everyone's attention is off from fireworks.

jake. okay no why is this so jiah coded? bambi would definitely do this for jake like a million times yk reminding him how much he means to her and how much girlie loves him. "she needs to make sure jake is always aware of his importance in her life!" infinity/10 one of my favs.

@joomiu ( nat )

sunoo. cuteeee strangers to lovers starting on the train 7/10 falling asleep on someone's shoulder is such pure fluff. nat better seize the opportunity to bag sunoo up, you don't getting him laying his head on you everyday.

sunghoon. this is so classic but still so heart fluttering man 111/10 absolute cuteness. full of domestic vibes! i know for a fact nat would do this and then giggle over this for weekss,, i mean who wouldn't.

jungwon. this is thousand kisses nat vibes totally fits her vibes and can literally imagine this actually happening, nat fussing over the fogged up glasses and lovesick won staring at her with heart eyes omgggg gem/10

@heecyon ( bee/ally)

sunghoon. this is like a lifetime kinda love you gotta grab it while you have it 9/10 absolute domestic vibes yk a supporting partner who goes to all ends.

jake. this is cute, super cute, next they kisss. 6/10 because we hate getting sick

jay. another angsty one we here 1000/10 for my sad loving ass. the star-crossed illfated turned forever lovers we go. this gives the love, rosie vibes i cried my eyes out to that but that was some good emotional shit.

@heesbaby ( cinna ) & @ctrlemis ( art )

jay. classic and then they realise their feelings and fall in love. 15/10 cinna and her dream jay date?

sunoo. now this seems very unlikely,, it would be more like both of them screaming their lungs out but this is nevertheless super cute so 9/10

sunoo. this so gives art vibes. can really picture it all happening, sunoo all excited to match? and then there's art secretly loves it but no way is gonna show it on the outside and happily wear it to make sunoo and sunoo's mom happy. 9/10

[sungbeam]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

hi anon! thanks for sending this in :') im always so bad at posting these things, but i can def do this one. i don't know if i would classify them specifically as favorites, but more so people i've interacted with the most 😭

@justalildumpling : i don't even need to go on besides saying that this woman is my soulmate. "in another life" but we're gonna beat the universe and meet in every life, type of connection. the girl who has seen me at my worst and has still treated me with as much kindness and compassion and care as she did the first time. i feel like in certain ways, we're kind of polar opposites, but also the same? i mean, on paper we can be so different, but when we talk abt what we like and dislike, when we laugh together, it all becomes something of the same and she restores my faith in other people again. she's the person who constantly makes me want to be a better person.

@ethereal-engene : one of my two beloved 姐姐's on this site skfnrknf but i remember talking to ash so many nights abt just any and everything. i am so happy that we're comfortable enough to be able to joke around, share our niche interests, have deep conversations, and even pen pal!! like i think it's crazy how SIMILAR our families are; we could legitimately be long lost sisters haha but also the blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb sometimes, so that makes sense. she's one of my comfort people, and honestly, i feel like we both come out of nowhere with some topics, but either person will hop right into the convo regardless and just vibe 🤧

@winterchimez : my second 姐姐 on this site !! my older sisters def take care of me well and i am so grateful for that :')) ally is always so supportive and yet so energergizing to talk to. she's def seen a lot of my brainstorming and i feel very comfortable bouncing ideas off her. she's always so generous with me too, like care packages??? RAH 😭 obviously, i love her for reasons besides the material goods, but it's a love language nonetheless. ally is prob one of the warmest and most welcoming presences on this hellsite tbh, so if ur ever looking for a new friend/mutual, she's the best.

@loveliestfelix : nana is another reason why im still around. i like to thank that beomgyu drabble every day for kickstarting our friendship because i have never met someone i have had such lengthy and fun brainstorming sessions with. nana is the type of person i would love to meet irl and just share stories over coffee with, though i feel like i always associate her with train rides and coffee now HAHA she's also one of my greatest writing inspirations, like i was and have always been blown away by her mind, and her word counts. i love calling her the queen of angst, and you will never be disappointed when reading something of hers.

@jaehunnyy : chip's been here for a really long time, like guys, no one can compete when she's been here since i had park jisung as my pfp and she had jeno as hers 😭 i think i really treasure our friendship and how much it's grown over the past two years :')) so much has happened over that time, and i think that if i met her in real life, i would just be blown away by how pretty she is like TT anyways,, i always love talking to her because of how much chaotic energy we create when we do, like i feel like we can power an entire city grid with how much chaos we make, and it's all the better for it. i love her very much, and i hope she understands just how wonderful of a person and friend she is.

@mosviqu : oh, my beloved bar, i love u to bits and pieces. i think recently you've become one of the few reasons why im still here writing and posting. like i am so utterly, from the bottom of my heart, grateful for all of your support and the love you've given and shown me. and even when we moved to dms to converse, i just realized how cool you are as a person, and how similar we are (in the best way possible). it's really nice to be able to connect with a person on multiple levels, and im really happy that was the case with us :') as soon as i saw ur love for tomorrow by chanyeol, i knew there would be something more to our friendship. i am so very fond of you, and your writing blows me away every time i read it.

@zzoguri : moni :( i hope ur doing well, friend, and i know you haven't been active here lately but i do wish you all the best. i love how passionate and committed you are to improving in writing and developing your own creative writing style, and it's so impressive to read your writing in general :') i love the confidence you advocate for yourself, and how real you are. thanks so much for being a friend; i just really appreciate all the support and hype you've given me during my time on deobiblr, like thank you for being such a thoughtful person.

@wuahae : cat and i have definitely interacted more off this site than on this site, but i felt that it was dire she was included here nonetheless. like bro, thank you for literally being the reason i come out of my apartment (or in most cases, invite people to my apartment), and for thinking of me! i think i once told you how hard it is to find friends in college, but you've made my experience here far less lonely. i love getting dinner with you, planning outings, and making weird animal noises together on the streets 😭 also, cat's writing is literally so poetic, and just her explaining to me her plot ideas tears visceral reactions out of me TT

@yunhoszn : i feel like me and fawn are low-key on the same wavelength a lot of the times, but in general, i think fawn's just such a rad person. i've told her once or twice before but i genuinely love her writing style because it has so much personality in it. it just makes reading her fics such a fun and enjoyable experience. also even off this site, i have so much fun interacting with her, like just commenting on her instagram posts like the gremlin i am, i know she's gonna hit me with the best response back skfnkejd (waiting for the day i go to where u r so u can do my makeup low-key... ur so fly, pls do my makeup...)

@goldenhypen : em, my lovely twin :')) i know our interactions have def decreased, but i don't think that's decreased the fondness we hold for one another. i remember when em first started interacting with my works and then followed me, i literally rolled off the couch cuz i started fangirling 😭 and she is one of the most genuine and brightest presences here. she is a follow forever, bro, you better follow her forever. i just adore her compassion for others and her absolutely adorable fic concepts, and omg don't even get me started on her work ethic 😭 i wished u the best everyday you had requests, i don't know how u did it. you are literally superhuman.

@hqrana : i haven't spoken with noa in quite awhile, but im guessing it's cuz she's girlbossing her way through to that nursing program 🤧 my favorite woman in stem girl in this hellsite, she is my beloved xnonie 😭 i think i just appreciate noa's undeniable presence and character so much, like she brings so much energy to my inbox whenever she's here, and her support of my ideas and fics just makes me 🙇🏻‍♀️ like thank you for being here. and to know we both love marvel and taylor swift? i feel like she has to be like,, my best friend? like she needs to be my best friend?? sending hugs and well wishes your way, always.

[discoidal]

hi this is one of your mutuals being shy. how did you get into publishing your works with lit magazines?? i dont even know where to begin or how to be organized and Professional

HIIII omg i am not organized or professional at all and dw u can always talk to me<33 esp mutuals omg we're like already friends! just in case u want to stay anon tho, ill get this as detailed as possible under the cut; sorry if it gets long or wordy

anyways so i got into publishing after following jasmine from candied/spit for a long time, and i've found it's mostly a game of knowing your work and finding the right publisher market for it.

there are sites that like collect magazines and presses for ease of submission; i got started with submission grinder, but the most effective and convenient right now is chillsubs.com ! chillsubs has a browse feature with a bunch of filters; u can use those filters to find magazines that are right for u, for example like looking for specifically poetry mags or looking for specific demographics

once you've found smth u want to submit ur work to, u go to their site and usually they have a submit page with instructions on what to submit and how to. there might be some terms that you're unfamiliar with at first; u can always google them or ask me for clarification. if you follow those conditions, you'll get a better chance at getting accepted by that mag obviously. a lot of mags will straight up not read your work if you don't follow the submission rules or whatever.

mostly, in my experience, the mags have you submit by submittable (a site that you sign up to), emails, or gforms. they may ask you for a cover letter, which doesn't need to be detailed or formal; i usually just do a hi im zoe heres my shit thanks for your time peace out. think like office emails or emails to yr teacher; some litmags want it more formal while others are v v lax

they may also ask you for a 3rd person bio; thats the stuff like "zoe adrien is a megahot swagapino" or whatever. usually people take that opportunity to list previous notable publications ot credentials, but esp when you're starting out that doesnt need to be the case! you can put socmed or your website if ever, describe yourself, or you can even just joke. some litmags want a more formal tone; others will literally accept the "zoe adrien is a megahot swagapino" one, so while you can do just a rote one, i usually like to customize it per submission.

sometimes litmags have a "reading fee" which is where YOU pay THEM to read YOUR work; this does not guarantee an acceptance, and i try to avoid paying when possible. some other litmags have an "expedition fee" where you can submit things for free and it might take months, but if you pay the fee your work gets read faster or gets read straight by the editor; again, does not guarantee acceptance, but can be a good way to support a struggling lit mag that you're passionate about or get a quicker acceptance or rejection.

a big term that i remember being confused by is simultaneous submissions. that's the way i usually work, and it's when you have work that you submit to a bunch of markets simultaneously. this makes it faster for you, the writer, since you don't have to wait for markets to get back to you before submitting; otherwise, you'll have to do that, and esp with rlly prestigious litmags (literature magazines) the wait time can be months to years. sometimes though the litmags dont accept simsubs; that means if you submit to them, u submit to only them and wait for their reply before submitting again. theyre dicks if they do this imo but u gotta do what u gotta do

anyways, back on track. once a market gets back to you with an acceptance, you can accept their acceptance (thereby entering into an agreement or contract with them, especially if there's payment involved— note that payment isnt always involved). they might want to do some editing, but usually you'll get the chance to approve or reject their edits before it goes live. typos are common and you can absolutely contact them abt GETTING THAT SHIT FIXED!! (im still listed as zoe adrian in one mag anyway)

if you simsubbed like detailed above, especially if they have an exclusivity clause in the agreement, you'll then have to withdraw your work from the submissions queue of all the other markets. this is to say that that specific work isn't available anymore, as you have found a market for it. if thru email or gform u can just do a quick email like "thx this has been accepted elsewhere thx for ur time" and theyre usually like congrats and thts it

acceptance to publication usually takes months. usually, in my experience, the contract with the litmag will tell you how many months you have to withhold the specific work you've published with them from being published again. for example, i published with foglifter press and agreed for them to have six months exclusivity. if another market agrees to publish it, you have to make sure it's after the six months or the exclusivity period you agreed to, just to make sure no contracts are broken.

you're allowed to publish work you've published before again, usually if they are the first publication mags will ask that you credit them as where that work first appeared . while you are allowed to republish, a lot of mags don't accept "previous publications" so you have to check for that.

a lot of lit mags are online-only nowadays, but i've got a fair few print publications; print pubs will usually send you an author's copy, though in some cases you might have to buy it yourself.

now that i think (?) i've detailed the process, ill tell u smth: u dont need to be professional if u dont want to be! theres prestigious litmags, sure, and they should be paying better, but if you're content with small mags a lot of them are no fucks given. if you go off anon i could help you find some chill mags to start with; im very fortunate to have published with some cool people.

some small mags are my absolute favorites. being smaller, they sometimes only pay nominal author fees to you, or often they cant pay at all, but they can take more risks bc of that. their audiences, while smaller, might be more vocal and supportive. gotta shoutout my absolute fav indie mag, bodyfluids lit; they pay YOU 1 euro per submission and theyre my fav to work with, communication is so quick and easy, and i find almost all the work they publish to be right up my alley

if you can afford to be picky, i would say try to submit your work to magazines you yourself want to or love to read. ive gotten pieces published for relatively a lot of money but felt no joy in it beyond that money; meanwhile, getting published in wrong publishing and bodyfluids brought me so much joy and community. if writing was my main source of income or even a source i was reliant on, i'd have to be working harder for less joy, i feel

a thing i have to say when encouraging people to submit: you're going to get rejected. like a lotttt. it's not about you or the quality of your work, even, it's just that markets have specific tastes or themes and they have limited slots and maybe you mentioned bacon and the editor's hungry right now so they hate you for it and so they throw you in the reject pile. it happens.

publishing for me has been a game of so much luck and wild persistence and, im sorry to say it, thick skin. it hurt a lot when i first started, so much so that i stopped submitting for like 6 months after i got my first few rejections. you gotta keep trucking friens!!!

also im talking like i know sooo much i have like. 11 publications counting one that isnt even available anymore bc the litmag went down lmao i am a little baby! and i am unfortunately so lazy with submitting sometimes like i havent sat down and submitted to a bunch of places in like. 6 months. so yeah i dont know that much el oh el

omfg this is so long but i hope this wasnt overwhelming; theres so much more i want to say abt like readings and submission calls and themes and categories and shit. dont be overwhelmed tho, its usually a pretty streamlined process. again, it's a long game, but it's worth it to me :)) ask me anything any time! and i am SOOOO excited for you!!

[sherrendipities]

lola's post fr has me thinking what kind of pet i ammmm 🥺 i always likened myself to a puppy bc when i get so excited n giddy (ie every time Daddy or Sir talk to me hehe) i Feel in my SOUL like a lil pup that's jumping on their owner in excitement. also tail wagging. if i had a tail she'd be wagging aggressively every time they so much as look at me !!

buuut. that said. hard agree with lola that i'd yellow at being told to bark. idk that's like. blegh :p doing it, i mean!!! i love seeing other adorable lil subs barking, but i think i'd just feel weird for me.

fetch is smthn i never even considered? i've always thought it'd be cute to be asked to fetch things for a Dom, just in the sense of being able to service them in day-to-day life. like if we're snuggling and you ask me to "be a good girl and fetch my phone/a glass of water/ etc," i'd jump up n be soooo eager to serve 💕 though if what ppl mean is the inherent act of playing fetch as erotic play then idk it'd feel silly and it'd take me out of the moment lol. i think it'd be super fun to watch another sub do it!!! ugh now i'm imagining laying my head on Daddy's lap, his hand gently petting my head, while he makes another of his subs play fetch hehe 🥰 one of our common friends is the world's cutest lil puppy (u kno who u are xoxo) and it'd be such an adorable look on her!!!

that said, i'm a giant cat person n i have some cat tendencies lol. genuinely the more im thinking of it the more im like ohhhh i rly am kitty. i could make a list fr. like hear me out:

nuzzlinggggg omg. yk how cats rub their cheeks on things incl their owners as a scent marking thing?? v me core. wanna feel his cock rubbing against my cheeks before i start licking n taking him into my mouth 🥰 but also i love love love hands cradling n caressing my face!!! i always thought of it as a hand fetish thing (it is lol) but it also lowkey feels like i'm a lil kitty getting her cheeks pet

i love making biscuits!! sort of lol. but fr one of my most frequently recurring fantasies is laying down with someone, our legs tangled together, my head in the crook of their neck, n my hand running up and down their chest 💕 n now that i think abt it, very kitty coded. we've all had a kitty snuggling us n started purring n making biscuits. bonus points that i dont scratch u while doing it (well, maybe a little if u want 😋)

i am a purring machine lol. am i vastly disappointed i can't make the exact sound of a purring cat? deeply. but when i'm rly relaxed n cozy n very horny, i have to actively hold myself back from mewling nonstop 🥺 just tiny lil whines every time i sigh out a breath. n i for one think i deserve sooo many pets n that i shouldn't have to suppress that urge ever !!!

i 1000% have the energy of a kitty that loves snuggling. like why would i sit anywhere except ur lap?? if ur sitting anywhere i'm right there fr.

last but not least is the obvious fact that i own multiple sets of kitty headbands lol. they're just so cute n i used to wear them out all the time !!! i have puffy curly hair n i always loved the look of two cute lil kitty ears poking out from the bushes hehe

bonus point: my aforementioned fav puppysub mutual n i are both Daddy's pets, n i think the image of Daddy owning a kitty n a puppy who like to play with each other is tremendously cute. i rest my case your honor.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

OH MY GOD btw idk if you saw my tags in my second rb of that post but im SO SORRY that it looked like i was telling you to "chill" for a second i would never say that, that's so dismissive 😭😭😭

tumblr hates me and hates when i talk in the tags of my mutuals' posts apparently

i thought ur post was very good & i was TRYING to express agreement and talk about my thoughts in the tags. so sorry if it seemed like i was trying to shut u down at first. godspeed o7

[In reference to this post]

LMAO Clay I shit you not I was in the middle of writing an ask to *you* saying, first of all, no worries at all about the fucky tumblr tags haha this is the hellsite and I read that tag as sarcasm anyways so dw dw lol I know you're not like that haha 🫂.

And second of all, that I was nodding very emphatically reading your tags yeah I'm also quite conflicted- increasingly so frankly, and I can relate to your description of being *so* sad from it that it kind of falls flat? As for like, whether I find it satisfying from a narrative standpoint or not, *honestly* as more time passes the more I can feel my own opinions going from positive to... Mixed? I agree that the Swifts deserved more time, period (absolutely) and that there was so much left unexplored... And that it would have felt more satisfying if we got more with them...

Hm. With the interaction as it was, I honestly think I would have liked it much more if it happened like, midway through the season? Giving Nicky enough time to step up and really prove himself to Taylor? Though of course we return then to the issue of that family not having enough time in general!

Conversely... I think I could have been happier with Taylor's decision happening at the end here and simultaneously been *less* uh absolutely heartbroken if it had been delivered differently like, tonally? I suppose I feel like... Combining all of their previous interactions prior over the course of the season, the complications surrounding Nicky's abandoment to begin with (listen could my man have sent a letter now and again abso-fucking-lutely but bro also had all his friends turn against him and was tortured by the FBI who he didn't want hurting his family like it's not so black and white at all), and maybe most of all the fact that Nicky genuinely *was* trying to be there for Taylor post-reuiniting in Hell... Combining all those things, it's not that I think Taylor is wrong to decide still that his dad wasn't there for him before so he doesn't want him now, as sad as that is I think it's still very understandable and certainly *interesting*, but the *cruelty* in how he delivered that blow is what came as a bit of a shocker to me and just doesn't feel good to me with. Well with all those other things I mentioned. Again, that's if we're keeping this interaction at the very end here, having Taylor chew out his dad the way he did way earlier could have been great.

IS. Is where I'm currently at with that I think? Yeah lol. Like there's more thoughts for sure but I would surely go on several tangents haha.

[therosevest]

hi everyone this feels wildly self centered and silly but i made a guide to my dyke drama/lore that i talk about in barely coded but convoluted terms. i love internet safety. doing this at the request of exactly one person and for the rest of u it's under the cut if youre curious and feel so inclined hashtag close friends <3 i highlighted my previous ways of referring to these people and important notes bc otherwise i just rambled soooo bad <3 and as much as im maybe romanticizing in some ways here i do genuinely care for and love (most of) these people outside of my weirdofreak brain and try my best to do well by them in our relationships. and maybe i just wanted to write beautiful things about my friends whatever

lydia: they're on here we met on here and now we're roommates. we met bc we were two of the only bitches posting in the muna tag and she was brave enough to reply to my one naomi video. and i was like um ok... FREAK.. and then yk we were mutuals but i was always paranoid they'd somehow know film girl or my roommates (or just. other ppl) bc i was being insane so that was awk but then i had a mental breakdown a little bit one night on here about my childhood and decorating for holidays and they offered to meet on campus and give me some leaves for my window and i was like aww (and we used them this year to decorate our shared apartment :')) and i remember i was wearing my black and white sweatshirt that i wore to go see dan live that ive since given away i think but it feels like. a sign u know.. or whatever.. and we do have mutual friends in weird circles including one that connects to steve (see later notes) so it's like chances are we couldve met in person but this just made it really special. we beef bad. but with sooo much love. and i do think we're better for knowing each other or whatever...

film girl: this was bad. i have a tag dedicated to anything i remembered to tag as part of the saga but it was so bad and beyond anything words can say... i'd give her another name but she could never be anything but film girl. it's like if u were there u know. if u weren't... let's just say i was crazy insane mentally ill bonkers jeff buckley lover you shouldve come over i know it's over. maroon 5 even about it. bad. but consider she leaned into me like she did her bf for their first kiss, said our night together when we went to our friend's party where she had dressed up as jennifer check (i showed her the movie it was a whole thing) and danced with me and talked right against my neck and grabbed onto me while walking and said she was maybe bi and i deserved someone really nice and im so swaggy etc and then going back to her place and making me food and watching himym on the floor (oct. 21st u will go down in herstory...) made her the 'happiest person in the world,' stayed over at my apartment until the following morning more than once, unwrapped her bruised hand and held it out to me to see/touch (absolute freaks moment like kill me actually. and that was the day i perioded myself. to use pj of bottoms' terms.) was just generally engaging in psychosexual warfare with me all the time. and we didn't even fuck. or kiss. and she had a boyfriend. who looked like a girlfriend (not that i personally had in february of last year but regardless..) i mean come on she was a straight woman she wasnt even allowed to say slay.. i genuinely still think we need to kill each other but it doesn't matter. how is she still linked to my life? well. we had a class this semester with steve and stede and lydia and scully (prof im in love with. this name is hilar), sort of friends with cool artsy queer girl group (hometown friends, one her best friend i almost met up with at muna concert (with her) one who looks a bit like jackie kennedy. ok not really but that's the one my one friend josh (woman) made out with last semester), had a class with steve and sam last semester with dave, our shared prof that steve told details of our first date and etc to.

steve: this is gonna be ex situationship from beginning of this semester - mid october. gets this name bc they're obsessed w that pirate show so like stede but i simply wont name them that and at this point im annoyed enough w their taste in things that steve feels fitting. anyway. was genuinely very kind and sweet but also got clingy soo fast and we were on very different pages. we'd met last fall (when they had a gf) and worked together on sets and in a couple classes, they kind of got caught up in my triangulation of desire for jane at her birthday party.. and i had fun flirting! um and they were genuinely again very very considerate and sweet but like. seemed to struggle to have a personality outside of their ex and maybe their siblings a bit. idk. just very passive. sowwy. also they were not a very good kisser. i do remember back in may being vindicated bc they also commented on film girl and bf

jane: naming her jane in a gay way. a jane austen way. in that i think we should write lifelong love letters to each other. holy shit shut up. so this is always 'friend im in love with' or 'a little in love with' or whatever. she is also girl with cool short hair and piercings and tattoos and a bookbag with tits on it so god forbid my infatuation. and i just love her voice and i think she's brilliant and so good at what she does and all around just like an awesome person she inspires me to be better and whatever. and she always dresses so cool and used to host house shows (i still never made it to one) (film girl did once) and when we first started talking we were at a film event and were supposed to be networking or whatever but instead we stood by the drinks together and talked abt how we both wanted to be friends in our writing class but never said it and thought the other hated each other a little bit but we were both just awkward and so we'd always make eye contact and laugh and banter together in class and i rlly was just in love with her. and this summer was crazyyy we were on steve's set together and i was a little freak just so obviously enamored with her but the thing is she was obnoxious too so i didnt even feel like a loser. she asked me to massage her arms once and said my half assed attempt was lame and we leg wrestled (also w steve. kinda funny. like yeah u would) and exchanged drunk stories and she said i needed better ones and then i beat her at stack cup at her bday and gave her her card and she hugged me and her lips were wet from the beer she just drank from and right on my arm and i was like wow. her kingdom (surrounded by people who she loved and loved her) for a kiss upon my shoulder. if u will. and i had to have a middle school Look Away moment bc she stripped in front of a few of us that night and i was far too intoxicated to not like lose my mind. also she was supposed to give me a book on set once but never did and im still bummed. and one random night she texted asking if id found a place to live and when i answered she never followed up and i still wonder what that was abt. if anything. um but she does have a boyfriend of like 5 or 6 years. from high school. the worst part is hes a semi cool dude but it's just like really. let her fuck a woman! just once even! jk they are both genuinely cool people first and i think it's great they found each other in this life. but also like fuck off ugh. yk. not to romanticize my life and friendships i just think in another life we were soulmates or maybe in a way we are now. but we also only knew each other for a brief time so maybe something else. we could've done backstreets

sam: friend i just mentioned recently who has a crazy name we shant get into it. i do have a different actual friend named sam but i havent seen her in forever. so i met them working on steve's senior film set and thought they were cool and they were one of the only ones to make it out to our post-wrap dinner/drinks and then we had two classes together this semester. and so we became sort of allies we'd meet up to go to the museum together and send each other the attendance and i went to see fnaf when he rented out a theater for a huge group lol and he helped on my film which meant a lot even if it was only for a bit cause of you know. the everything that was going on. with steve and etc. it wasnt easy to get there so like bless their heart. they also came up with the name for my film and we had that moment around the fire and well i do hope i'll continue to see them just as a friend even, and they're genuinely just the coolest they do a lot of drag and character/costume design and are genuinely just one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i know and they always have the coolest fucking outfits and hats and shit and omg they looked so good in their doc. just something abt the posture and the whimsy and the earnestness and look overall. woah. um when we were on steve's set my friend jackie leaned over and said 'i thought they were film girl for a second' so basically i need to redacted. but it's not like that bad of a resemblance. once again has a partner cause im cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress maybe or whatever. i havent even listened to that song more than like once but maybe it is real for me. anyway they were also in the class with steve and film girl with dave.

stede: im sorry this is so funny to me bc this person and steve go by the same name irl but spelled differently or whatever. we met and had a very energetic chat in the hallway at the beginning of this semester jim thought we knew each other lol. they're real cute and endearing and like i said kind of give butch. and we had two classes together but i had so much shit going on man i just. yeah. seemed like they were maybe a little into me but whatever. and well i think we should have a fling but who said that

jim: my buddy prof he's my buddy :-) he helped me so much sophomore spring as i was trying rlly hard to produce our class films and insane already over film girl (he didnt know that but it was omnipresent) and so close to dropping out and is just the coolest guy. he's a little bit like a father figure what who said that. i remind him of his youngest daughter a lot and ive lived in the same buildings as his older one. so just funny connections. i go to his office hours and such a lot with the film friends

grace: one of my film friends. (i just realized i do know a girl in film named grace but it's not her so anyway.) i am in awe of the way she commits to stuff and motivates people around her. she is just so game for anything to make the best of a situation. shes studying abroad this semester so ive only seen her on video chats/texted and missed the one day she came back for her bf's bday. well and she was the friend who said 'no he can keep himself busy' when we went to go see x together so she didnt make me hang out w her not even lame bf at first which was so nice. cause then i eventually actually did want to meet him. and theyre the least annoying couple ive ever met. and shes bi <3

jackie: another film friend. also love her dearly another stoner so we'd smoke together before class sometimes and just went on a walk with our other friend one night around the woods and stuff that was fun. i usually refer to grace and jackie collectively as 'the film friends.' we met in that spring of sophomore year (same class as film girl and jim). this one did have steve produce her senior film after they said they wouldn't work on mine bc of the ""situation"" i was a little sour that was an awkward um situation but it's whatever. i sometimes say film friends and mean a larger group of these ppl/a few extended but whatever

frank: ive just called him frank hes frank hes the coolest dude in the world i think everyone would be obsessed with him and i just think like man hes lived such a life. he's my short cool professor whos just so good at what he does. he's met so many people and done so many things. his van is so him he has a suction cup to pull his windows up in the winter and random albums in the front seat. im gonna try to work w him next semester. i was in that van last night feeling like i was in a gta level to go pick up pizza for our final class.

scully: my film comedy and tv analysis professor she is so everything to me... she loves women and evil women and gay people and camp and horror and comedy and tv and sex and just weirdo freak shit and shes so intelligent and quick on her feet and charming and just. an amazing lecturer. she said be gay do violence once. i felt seen. she said she used to pull her friends (favorite characters) out of the tv and carry them around in her pocket and i knew she understood... she saw bottoms and emailed me and lydia right away. and she's seen willow. and ofc so many other things. and she'll go 'this seems like the type of person/film/etc that you would be inspired by..' OK QUEEN I LOVE U. i want to do cocaine with her. huh. im taking gender and film with her next semester :333 im so excited

claire: friend from high school friend group who ended up ditching me and our other friend a lot that one summer and we almost lived together and we're just always kinda weird around each other but we were some of the only ppl the other hung out with fall semester 2020 so like.

drake and josh: i almost always refer to them together they're codependent a little bit roommates and i love them dearly and i met them thru claire sophomore year but ive hung out with them alone and stayed at their place when i got too drunk and that night i fell down the stairs. me and drake act a little homoerotic sometimes for fun. i cried at dinner over film girl once to her it was embarrassing. i miss going hammocking with them <3

dave: i had him last fall he's really cool he got me on a shoot w the mayor (and steve and jane) and was so cool about me not ocming to class a lot bc i kept in touch w him and hes my homie. film girl had a class w him then too and then last semester was the like news class that crew had together. and steve told dave all abt our first date and etc and got date ideas from him and i was like oh wow... ok lol

couch: couch roommate. theyre not relevant in my life enough to make a name but the couch story was stupid as hell and this one also left ground beef in the sink that one time and had a thing for a rugby girl that steve had a little fling with

jean: if i say 'one of my masc gfs' i probably mean them. sort of friends with couch like she was in my apartment once last year but um. yeah. had a crush on them for like a month at one point and we follow each other on insta and talked when we saw each other on campus the first time and thats like it. chances r ill forget abt this fake name and still just throw that in if i ever see her

[aumtzitism]

sorry insane person ask. i meant ive been wanting to befriend you for a while too so it's super cool that you actually want to be friends with me. so hi. what's up how's your day been

IM SORRY TUMBLR DIDNT GIVE ME THE NOTIF WHEN U ASKED.. i always wanna be friends with my mutuals dont even worry i love being pals :3

my day has been sooo wonderful i went to a reptile store and they had TARANTULAS!!!!!! and i think we're getting a bearded dragon? some sort of critter i'm not sure yet. def not tarantulas but theyre so so cool looking. and i got ice cream. awesome day so far life is glamorous

[confettifox-ships]

hi!! for the prompt blurbs.. kisses in the rain + desperate kisses combined f/o is jimmy mcgill/saul goodman from better call saul/breaking bad - he's kind of a dick, cuts corners and takes shortcuts rather than working for things he wants, criminal lawyer who tried to be legit and help people before deciding to just do it for the money. kinda closed off and wary of close relationships but gets attached real easy (abandonment issues) s/i is lucian donne (or mcgill, depending on when in our relationship it is), psychologist, friends with jimmy since college (so like, at least 15 years) and has had a massive crush on him for their entire friendship. nervous, sensitive, takes things to heart too much and has major abandonment issues relationship is basically Slow Burn Premium, jimmy didn't realize he Could like guys until he was told point blank that everyone can see it except for him and lucian. years of mutual pining except neither of them knew it was mutual. we tease and make fun of each other all the time, our love language is pretty much just bullying but we'd also die for each other if needed. like we call each other names and then cuddle on the couch all night because we're In Love

@tothemoon-ships

thank you for your patience! hope u enjoy! @tothemoon-ships

someday i'll get around to watching bb and bcs, i need to since im FROM new mexico

It rarely rains in New Mexico, just during the summertime months, and only for brief periods, where rain torrents painfully from the sky and subsides within only about a half an hour. You and Jimmy have been walking outside for about ten minutes as rain crashes down. The exhaustion has crawled into the lines of Jimmy’s face now that there’s time to hold still. Despite his frequent cutting of corners and dodging through legal red tape, his work takes a toll on him. He sits down on the cement doorstep next to you, avoiding the rain but embracing the smell of the desert in the rain. 

Jimmy never knew that he was allowed to like men. It really never had actually clicked that he did, he’d just always had you and he’d known the way he felt about you but it had taken a long time for him to clock that the butterflies in his stomach were more than just frequent bouts of indigestion. Perhaps an inhumanly long time but it is what it is; it’s all good, man, after all. Jimmy turns his head to look at you, his eyes soft and blue as the Albuquerque sky. 

You’d expected your first kiss to be softer or with some kind of build up. When you’d imagined it, lying in your bed late at night, you hadn’t been quite sure how to imagine it—always soft, but sometimes a lean in, you hate to admit it but the stupid “boy lean” appeals to you, or maybe it would be in a familiar place. Instead, it’s on the sidewalk, his hair plastering to your cheeks as the rain continues. His hands grip your cheeks and pull you in so closely that the only thing you know is him. His smell, his taste, the warmth of his upper lip, the press of his nose against your cheek. 

The kiss catches you entirely off guard, but you grip his shoulders to ground yourself. When he breaks away, it is just as the rain stops, with the sun shining through the clouds. Jimmy bumps his forehead against yours. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t really need to.

[star-sim]

LMAO IG WE'RE ALL GOING THRU SOME WEIRD ASS LOVE LIFE NOW?? (I j caught up to everything uve been posting and god damn me too ppl)

I just told a dude I wanted to be friends after HVAING MUTUAL FEELINGS FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS and I've been going thru this regret and reassured feeling about it I'm also losing my mind 😭 HIS FRIEND USED TO SAY HI YO ME NOW HE J STARES AT ME WHEN I WALK BY (lk side eye but like bro I'm giving u a side eye too)

ALSO HI IM ROSIE NICE TO MEET U ULL PROB SEE ME HERE AND LOT HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS 🤩

HAI ROSiE OFC WE CAN BE FRIENDS!!!

everyone is going through an embarrassing love phase rn and i'm all for it...

NOOOOOO GIRL RUN RUN RUN GET OUT OF THERE oh god this is painful to think abt. good on you for communication and being mature abt ur your feelings but i KNOW HE'S FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE IN THE GC RN..... he is in the TRENCHES and his friends are either flaming him or hyping him up to get u back. atrocious.

thanks for stopping by rosie!! i hope to see you again soon!!

[cemetarial]

hello hi. my name is clown (explodingclowns -> mismatchedvertebrae -> flamingravens -> cemetarial)

i use basically anything except she/her but i will love u forever if u use it/its or neos

i have like a whole list of shit wrong w me. if we're mutuals u can ask for it but im not putting it here. i will note that i cant spell tho

i have a HUGE special interest in slenderverse content. please ask me about it or share slenderverse content you find. if u do u will be my best friend even if u dont want to be my friend

dni under the read more. and also some silly gifs and images

transmeds, truscums, terfs, radfems, all that shit.

racists! i shouldnt have to say that, but yknow. anti-blm, blue lives matter, white supremacists, anti-semitics, anti-palestine.

anti neo/xenopronouns and anti-neo/xenogenders. anti mspec lesbians. believe cishet ace&aros arent lgbt. again, shouldnt have to have this in my dni. but for some reason you guys exist.

pedophiles, zoophiles, and proshippers. especially proships. i have NEVER encountered a proship that didnt support pedophilia and incest. until i do, this dni will stay here.

ai art and nft supporters. fucking die in a pit