#and if we want to get serious with it there are some really fucked up and interesting dynamics there
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ honesty is a virtue
type of post: short fic characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, a little suggestive, actually a lot suggestive, this is based off a stupid joke I made, reader is older than nrc students etc
It had started as a joke.
IT WAS A JOKE!!!
How could you have known? You had had your suspicions, but it's not like anyone tells you these things.
You meant it as a JOKE!
"Yeah, well, I fucked your dad,"
Sebek looked absolutely horrified, as if you had just told him his pet puppy died. Silver was stuck in place, pale, staring at you. Malleus chuckled.
You look between the three, confused. "Relax, guys, I was kidding,"
Sebek's horror immediately twists into rage, his whole face going red. "HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? TO JOKE ABOUT SUCH VULGAR THINGS!!!"
"Sebek, it's alright," Malleus interrupts, smirking. Weird. Usually, he's the one who doesn't get your jokes. "They didn't know."
"Didn't know?" you ask. "Didn't know what?"
Malleus chuckles, and pats your head like one would a puppy, or a small child. "Some things are better left unsaid, child of man. You should know better than to make such comments around the younger students, though,"
"...Oh, right," you mutter. "Oops."
Sebek still looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel.
"...It's fine, I'm not offended. I was just... surprised, that's all," Silver says, the color slowly returning to his face.
You still can't seem to figure out what it is. You'd made crude jokes in front of them before, they're not that young, Lilia has said much worse, and you'd only been messing with them. Besides, you don't even know their dad.
Or so you thought.
"Knock knock~" a familiar, cheery voice calls out for you, opening your door.
You look up from your phone, trying to distract yourself from your earlier embarrassment.
"Oh... hey, Lilia,"
"Busy?" he asks, letting himself in, anyway.
"Uh... no. Not really. Is everything okay?"
The fae smiles, the tips of his fangs visible between his lips. He's got that look on him again.
"Malleus told me you caused quite the commotion, earlier,"
Oh, great. Now him, too? You're never gonna live this down. You sigh.
"I..." you hesitate. You really don't want to be scolded again, and you've heard that Lilia can be quite scary when he's mad.
"...We were all just... having a silly little argument, nothing serious, and I made a bad joke, I guess."
"Which waaaas?"
At least he doesn't seem upset, you think. If anything, he seems amused. Which isn't great, either.
You sigh again. "...I joked, in a jokey manner, in a joking conversation, that I had... done certain things with their father,"
"And is that true?"
"What?" you scoff, almost in disbelief. Is he really turning this into a lecture about lying? He never lectures you. "Obviously not! I was joking! People make those kinds of jokes all the time!"
"Ah, but how careless of you. Poor Sebek almost fainted," Lilia says, taking a seat on your bed next to you. He really is turning this into a lecture...
"Hm. But would you like it to be true?"
Pause.
Huh?
Even when he's scolding, he finds a way to surprise you. And yet... what if he's not scolding at all...?
You give him a weird look. "Meaning what?"
Lilia giggles, and you catch a glimmer in his eye. He's teasing. Not lecturing. Teasing. What is he...
"Remember how I told you that I'm much older than I look?"
Oh.
Oh, no.
Your stomach drops. Everyone's horrified looks, Malleus' amusement, Lilia's teasing, suddenly make sense.
"No,"
"Yes," Lilia lowers his eyes, getting closer. "I must say, I'm flattered. But it was rather cruel of you to lie to my boys. I'm simply suggesting we... make that lie a truth."
You stare at him, unflinching. Perhaps you'd always thought he was a little cute, perhaps you're just thinking it now. What you're sure of, though, is that you could hold this over everyone's heads forever. He knows it, too.
Finally, you nod.
Lilia sets a hand on your knee and leans a little closer. "Good. Honesty is a virtue, after all,"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#lilia vanrouge x reader#sorry I can't be normal about that old man. I've written too much sappy stuff lately I needed a sillies break
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Your latest ficlet is so good… I can’t stop thinking about Tommy having to tell Buck about their 10 year old, it’s delicious
(part one)
There really isn’t much cool to do in Ukiah. Buck told Tommy this and he could hear Tommy rolling his eyes over the phone the way he said, “Buck, we live in Tehama, she’ll cope,” and then Tommy had said, “we can all go to a park, you can kill me and they’ll never find the body, it’ll be a great way for you two to bond.”
So, just before noon on a Saturday morning one month after the CFCA, Buck sees his daughter for the first time in person, watches her as she practically dislocates Tommy’s arm as they enter his favorite coffee shop and she bounces right up to the counter, braids swinging. It’s quiet, morning rush over and lunch rush yet to come, so he hears Tommy say, “you can have one flavor.” He hears his daughter’s voice for the first time when she leans on the butcher block counter top, smiling, and says, “a white hot chocolate with raspberry, please,” like she’s getting away with murder.
“That’s a small,” Tommy says, “and a medium drip, thanks. For here.”
“With whipped cream,” their daughter adds.
“None for me,” Tommy says, as if automatic. Like they’ve done this a hundred times. Maybe they have. He digs out his credit card and taps it against the register screen before he actually looks up and around to spot Buck sitting in the far corner. He nods. Buck raises a tentative hand, gives a small wave, and then Tommy is leaning down and getting their daughter’s attention, pointing him out.
She skips over while Tommy waits at the counter.
Buck wants to puke.
“Hi,” she says, and she reaches out a hand like she’s a little adult. “I’m Mary.”
“Nice to meet you, Mary,” Buck says, by some miracle finding his voice. He shakes her hand. “I’m uh, I’m Buck.”
“Daddy said your name is Evan,” Mary says, letting go and sitting down.
“Oh, yeah, Buck’s just my nickname. It’s what my friends call me. So, you can call me Buck too.
“Evan’s my middle name,” she continues, as if she didn’t hear or care. His daughter. “Mary Evan. Evan’s usually a boy’s name, but girls can be named Evan too. Like Evan Rachel Wood. She’s the mom in Frozen Two.”
“Yeah,” Buck says weakly. He didn’t know that, even if Jee made him watch everything Frozen before she hit high school. “My niece used to love that movie.”
Tommy walks over to join them, two mugs on little plates in hand. The smaller one has a mountain of whipped cream, sprinkles, and a straw.
“Here’s your cup of sugar, kid,” he says, sliding it in front of Mary before sitting down with his own. He takes a sip and gives an approving nod. “Not bad.”
“Yeah, I like this place,” Buck says, trying to keep his tone even. “They roast their own beans, so my house gets their coffee from here.”
“That must make you popular,” Tommy says, voice wry but not unkind, “Chief.”
“Daddy says you’re a Chief that doesn’t fly helicopters but still fights fires,” Mary says. The table shakes a little, because she’s kicking her feet.
“Uh, yup, just a boring, regular firefighter,” he replies. He can’t stop looking at her. Even with her braids she’s got frizz coming out from underneath her beanie bright red, redder than he was when he was her age but without ever seeing a picture of Tommy as a kid he’s sure she gets it from him. Her eyes are blue like the Pacific Ocean, murky and deep. She’s wearing a puffer vest and long sleeves even though it’s late September. Tommy always ran cold too, he remembers, thinking of the one summer they shared together.
“That’s not boring,” Mary tells him, so serious, before taking a sip of her drink. “I like engines more than helicopters. Did you know helicopters have a thirty-percent higher chance of crashing than planes? I’m learning percentages in school.”
His heart bursts. Yeah. She’s his fucking kid.
#‘she’s got your fucking sweet tooth too’ tommy says the second she gets up to use the bathroom#bucktommy#911 abc#mpreg#pregnant tommy verse i guess
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Your Heart is Spilling out, Babe
Pairing: Satoru Gojo/Reader
Summary: You and Satoru are friends with benefits. No feelings, that was the agreement from the start. Neither of you want anything more. Even if you did, it wouldn’t work out, anyways. Not that you care if it would.
Tags: fwb, smut, angst, YEARNING, requited unrequited feelings (or ARE they) but jk it’s totally no feelings, commitment/abandonment issues, not that it matters because you totally don’t have feelings anyways
“Mmmh… that’s it for me tonight. You can shower before you leave, if you want.”
“Oh? I can’t stay the night?” He asks, “Just gonna pump and dump me? So mean~”
A hum. “Knock yourself out. But you can’t shower in the morning, you’ll wake me up.”
“What a coincidence,” he lays down next to you, “I’m a late sleeper, too.”
You don’t say anything more, eyes already closed.
Satoru’s arm presses your form against his, just barely.
When he wakes up, you’re still laying there beside him, unmoving.
He leaves.
At first, Satoru tries to tell himself it’s a happy coincidence.
After all, isn’t it? His problem has always been the women (and men) who give him a certain kind of look before he gets up to leave.
The ones who text him back first, who read everything instantly, who always want to meet up again. The ones who always, inevitably, start to want something more.
Like him giving them the fuck of a lifetime with someone who could be a real-life supermodel and happens to be the greatest sorcerer on earth wasn’t enough. Granted, they don’t know about the sorcerer thing, but still!
It always turns out like this:
Things are good for a while. Sex is good, he gets attention when he texts them, they both understand this is totally casual, no commitment.
Sometimes he even brings up another hookup he’s going to, just to drive the point home, and he cheers them on when they’re getting some somewhere else, too.
(He’s got no reason to be insecure, after all. He would be anyone’s first choice.)
From there, he can admit some of it is his fault. It’s hard, being as irresistible as he is. Being so devastatingly good-looking and even better in bed.
Having so much humor and personality in his amazing texts (never mind that most of them just react with an emoji or a short haha or an unrelated compliment – he drinks it all up just the same).
They start to text him first, which is impressive, considering what a spammer he is. He likes to text them to fill his time, to talk to someone, have his notifications filled with messages of people who want him.
So what if it’s an ego boost? Isn’t that what they’re using him for, too?
But when they start texting him themselves, when they return his style of badgering, it’s not random and rambling. It’s affectionate, personal. They’ve gotten attached, and they want him to be, too.
It’s all nonsense like Saw this and thought of you, and You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, and I want to meet up again soon.
He has to stop spamming with memes or selfies or random observations throughout his day, stop talking about shops or cafes he’d like to visit. Sometimes he has to mute their notifications, because when he spams other people, they feel comfortable spamming him.
And then it’s just a matter of how long he spends lying to himself. Because as much of an ass as he is, it’s cruel to let them get attached to him when he can’t really open up entirely. When he doesn’t want anything serious.
In fairness, he had told them from the start. He usually breaks it off only after a few days. He always sends them a message and just blocks them – it’s cleaner that way.
Answering any desperate Please, we can still be friends or No, let’s just hook up again, would give them hope for things he can’t give them.
But you?
You text him You’re the most annoying man I’ve ever met, and leave him on read for two days.
Satoru thinks he’s in love.
Not literally, of course, but in love with the relationship he has with you, which is perfect.
Everything about it is perfect, except for that it’s not going on all the time.
You respond to his memes with your own. Chat with him about cafes and desserts and even keep a handful at your home to treat him with. You text him cat pictures, sometimes return selfies if he’s lucky.
Usually he gets those when he sends the thirst pics, sitting there with a grin that scares Ichiji, absolutely giddy as he watches you type, stop typing – he knows you’re looking for something special to send him back.
It’s surprising, how well he just knows things about you. Maybe that was to be expected, though, with your chemistry.
Sex with you is like nothing he’s ever felt before.
You have this way of tensing up, expression shifting as you’re right about to cum – he thinks by now he’s conditioned by it, that just seeing you make that face could get him over the edge.
He’s fucked hot people before but no one like you. Seeing the same clothes from your cute little selfies slip off, it’s like unwrapping a present he can’t wait to eat up. Makes him salivate like a box of chocolates, like the one truffle package you got one time and made him eat on his knees with his head in your lap, out of your hands.
Fucking you is one of his favorite things ever, right up there with kikufuku and making fun of his coworkers (and students!). You’re a beautiful bend of reactive and pliant, so fun to tease and edge and so rewarding to please.
God, fuck, he wants you. He wants you all the time. All his other hookups are silenced in favor of you, boring conversations abandoned in favor of debating tiramisu and tres leches, and all other sorts of inane things.
What your favorite school subjects are, oddly enough (he supposes he was asking for it, telling you he taught high schoolers).
You like literature, he likes math, and when he hears you talk about it, he almost wants to read some of those novels you like so much. Non-sorcerer politics has never meant anything to him but it matters when he hears you talk about it.
It’s like hearing about a whole separate world with its own struggles. Your opinions are so well-thought out, he can tell just how much you care, and something hums along aside him as he asks questions, nods his head, really listens to what you have to say. It feels so surreal to hear someone whose goals are not so unlike his, when he thinks about it.
Maybe that’s where some of this fondness comes from. Maybe it’s humbling, thinking you want to change your world just as much as he wants to change his, and the only difference is how much people listen.
He can’t imagine not wanting to listen to you. People should listen more. You should run everything, he jokes.
(He’s joking. He’s joking. You don’t know enough to get why he says that twice.)
And then it’s not serious again – when was it ever, really? You talk about your favorite manga and anime and tease each other for your tastes. Maybe talk about episodes or movies you’ve seen together.
He’s admittedly a bit of a movie buff – it’s a real victory when he convinces you to watch one of his old favorites. When he finds out you watched it, he’s excited the whole day to hear what you thought.
You debate what animals you would be; you are definitely a cat – aloof and independent – and you’re quite insistent that he’d be a husky, energetic and annoying and – probably other words you say before he sends you a picture of his dick and you facetime him with some more interesting conversation.
Your days – weeks, months, really – they go on like that, they’re great. Everything is perfect, really.
So when he hears you casually mention you’ve got other dinner plans – when his mind instantly supplies we’re just casual, tease her and hope she gets lucky – the wretched, dark twist in his gut is wholly unexpected.
And he knows instantly. Immediately, really, because he’s just too smart not to.
He knows he doesn’t want you going out with other people. Touching them. Showing them the same faces you show him.
But if he wants you to be his, then he has to ask. And you – you make him wait to hear back.
You never reach out to him first. You open the door with a cool expression, like your heart doesn’t race at the sight of him like his does (he can see it is, he can see it, but his soul is withering at your look like you couldn’t care less).
Satoru doesn’t usually have to ask, not for anything.
People beg to be able to fuck him. They spam when he ghosts them, begging for scraps. He doesn’t have to ask for attention, people shower him in it.
Everyone wants him. They love him. They don’t abandon him along with all their morals and tell him to kill them if he doesn’t like it.
They beg him to stay, and he is the one who leaves.
He’s too much for them. Too much for anyone. You wouldn’t be able to hand him, anyways.
And he can leave any time he wants, he just… doesn’t want to.
(He never wants to leave. He wants it to stay like this, forever. But when does it ever turn out like that?)
Besides, you’re – you also want it to stay casual. Like he told you from the beginning. Probably trying to save your feelings from getting hurt – and can he blame you? Really, with his looks, anyone would be scared to lose him.
So this was just… a happy coincidence. You didn’t want it serious, he didn’t want it, either.
“Mmmh… that’s it for me tonight. You can shower before you leave, if you want.”
Satoru’s lip twitches, but it doesn’t manage a smile. It almost feels like you’re kicking him out.
But he knows you’re not, because even if you were the one person on earth who could resist his irresistible charm, he just gave you some absolutely mind-blowing sex.
“Oh? I can’t stay the night?” Satoru teases, “Just gonna pump and dump me? So mean~”
He says it playfully, casually, because it is casual. It wouldn’t bother him if you told him to fuck off right then and there. It wouldn’t.
You hum noncommittally. “Knock yourself out. But you can’t shower in the morning, you’ll wake me up.”
If he’s relieved that he can stay, it’s because he’s as exhausted as you are. Because you make him feel good, so fucking good, like he’s on top of the world. Having to leave would just be a mood killer.
“What a coincidence,” He purrs, laying next to you on the bed, “I’m a late sleeper, too.”
He is not and never has been. He sleeps three hours a night wakes up by 5am.
It’s never bothered him before. His dreams are not a place he wants to be. But they’ve never hurt him when you were there.
He wraps an arm around you, holding you against him, just barely. Not too tight.
You don’t say anything more. You lay there and let him hold you while you fall asleep.
When he wakes, you’re still laying there beside him, unmoving.
The thing is, you’re awake. He knows that. You’re a light sleeper. Always have been.
He knows you hate morning showers yourself, and always do it at night. Knows what you like for breakfast, how to make it. That you like to sleep in because you have trouble sleeping.
He knows what you think about late at night because you text him about it, because he’s always there texting you, because neither of you can sleep and someone ends up calling and whispering secret scattered thoughts in hushed tones and –
And he honestly doesn’t know, if it’s you or him that slips in the I want to touch you right now, or Want me to kiss it better. Who turns it into sex so things can’t get to be too much.
Satoru would really, really like to think that it’s him, but the truth is that he’s reaching the limit of how believable his lies are, even to himself.
He knows, he knows he knows he knows that if he stayed, you would let him –
(If he repeats it enough it will surely become true.)
– but you both agreed no feelings.
Besides, it’s not like he wants to stay, anyways.
(Why won’t you ask him to come back?)
You know what Satoru is the moment you meet him. It’s not like he’s made any secret of it, either.
A whore. A man-whore, if you will. A player. Whatever it is. He slept with people, drank in all the sex and attention and then went on his merry way.
You get it. This wasn’t the first time you’d met a pretty boy who fucked around, not by a long shot.
He says all casual, no feelings, you smile and nod, and you go back to his place fully expecting to be disappointed because pretty boys usually suck in bed.
And then he fucks you within an inch of your life.
He eats you like a man staved. Hands roving over your skin, groping and squeezing in a way that would be violating, if his beautiful eyes weren’t wild and desperate.
His body is toned and smooth and perfect, unmarred skin that he presses to yours like he’s trying to staunch the bleeding of some invisible wound.
You’ve never felt like this before. Sex has never been this amazing. He props his stupid pretty face up on his elbow and he gives you that stupid charming boyish smirk and asks you if you want to go another round, red-faced and eager. It’s overwhelming and exciting and amazing –
And it’s terrifying, because it’s always like this for him, isn’t it? He just came in and gave you the fuck of a lifetime, but this is just another lay for him.
(But he’s having fun. It’s good for him, too. So why don’t you take what you can get?)
So when he saves his number in your phone, That was awesome, babe, we should do this again sometime, you don’t put a lot of weight into his words. You roll his eyes when he blows you a kiss goodbye, but you don’t delete his number.
Even when he wakes you up with some silly cat meme (god, you hate morning people), somehow you find yourself smiling. You let him know he can get his dick sucked any time if he meows cute enough and woah, maybe you’re coming on too strong –
He sends you an attachment of himself wearing cat ears, striking an obnoxious pose, with a fake tail that he holds by the end in his mouth.
Satoru Gojo, that’s the name. And you do suck his dick, like you promised, but he comes to you determined to get in character, meowing at you, pressing his face into your hands, rubbing into your side, nuzzling your panties while he looks up into your face with a smirk.
It’s a fight to get him on his back and his legs open wide enough for you to settle in. He meows again like a kitty, and purrs like one too when you take his cock into your mouth, hands threading through your hair. Giggling at his own antics.
Your eyes water when you take him, deep, moaning and feeling him shudder at the feeling, long legs squirming on either side of you. He pulls away suddenly, with a pop, laughing when his dick hits the side of your face and you glare at him. Sticking out his tongue.
He looks so young. So heartbreakingly sweet and charming. He pulls you in to settle you on his cock, face-to-face this time, his smile melting into something soft and tacky, sticking to your lips as he kisses his precum away. Infectious delight.
Satoru holds your hands in his, palm to palm, as you ride him in his lap. Face tilted up to look at you with a blush on his cheeks. Blue eyes wide like they have to be, to take you in, as if they aren’t themselves oceans you have to stop yourself from falling into.
You can’t look into his eyes when you cum, when he cums. You’re not sure if he’s looking either.
But you feel him, oh, do you feel him – hands squeezing yours as if in warning, face buried into your neck, a moan that vibrates throughout the both of you.
When you wake up, the next morning, you don’t even mind the fact that he’s still next to you, cuddled up, right beside you. You don’t mind, until you feel him stiffen suddenly, like he’s realized you’re awake, immediately pulling away.
That’s… you’re not sure what it is, since cuddling was obviously okay, so why does he not want to do it while you’re awake? It is too close? Too intimate?
He’d held your hands while he stared deep into your eyes and rocked gently into you last night, but cuddling would be too intimate?
But he smiles that smile before he leaves, stumbling a little bit while he gets dressed, in that goofy way that lanky tall men sometimes do. You even overlook the fact that he’s renamed himself in your contacts. ~ Satoru ~ My Kitten.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid (you’re smiling already), unbearable man. You want to hit him in the face, with your face. Very hard.
Casually, of course. It’s casual between you. No feelings at all.
But then he starts texting you all the time. He double, triple, quadruple texts, with the infuriating shamelessness of someone who’s never been ignored in his life.
Like he’s never worried that the other person is losing interest. He carries himself like it, too, like he knows everyone wants him, and unfortunately, he’s right.
So you tell him he’s annoying and you don’t look at your phone again. Not until he shows up on your doorstep with that pout on his impossibly pretty face.
And you don’t turn him away. Why would you? If he’s going to offer himself on a platter, why not eat up?
You’re just being realistic here. If you fucked him once and never heard from it again, it would still hurt almost as much as it will now. You’ll just be a little lonelier without your texting partner, but you’ll get over it.
There’s other fish in the sea. Even if none of them are as pretty as him, none of them make them laugh like you do. You’re not exclusive. He can see other people, so can you. You’ve made it a point not to ask.
You don’t like what he’s doing now. How he pauses long, makes you wait before telling you to have fun on your date.
How the next time you see him there’s something strange in his eyes, something that leaves him with clawing hands, hungry mouth, eager to leave his marks all over you.
Satoru doesn’t stop texting you, doesn’t stop selfies, thirst traps, prodding little questions and jokes, doesn’t stop obnoxiously demanding (begging?) for your attention.
At first it was an ego boost. Now, it’s terrifying.
Because now he likes you, doesn’t he? He’s interested now. Having fun. Making you feel like he’s jealous, acting like he’s on withdrawal if he goes too long without you, making you feel like someone as beautiful and rich and funny as him could possibly be in love with you.
But he told you in the beginning. Something casual.
Maybe these feelings are real in the moment. But one day they’ll fade, and everything will be yanked right out from under you.
You’ll wonder why he’s getting distant these days. You’ll remember that you never made it official, and sweat over the possibility that he’s seeing someone else. At the end of the day that’s all you’ll be able to do; worry and worry while you’re too afraid to ask.
You’ll wonder what you did wrong. What you did to lose him. How you could go from someone so fascinating, someone he so thoroughly adored and fucked like he was making love, to an afterthought and a stranger, unless you did something wrong? Unless you made a mistake, somewhere along the line?
The mistake of getting attached to him in the first place.
Fuck that. Satoru can develop feelings on his own fucking time. He’ll lose them just as quickly, you can tell.
This isn’t anything more than a hookup to him. He’s an attention whore who likes to hear himself talk, and you’re dumb enough to entertain him because you’re lonely and easily amused, at least when it comes to him.
There’s nothing real here.
You still don’t know where he actually works, outside of some nebulous high school teaching situation. Where he lives. What he does most of the day, what his parents are like. Where he’s from, even. You don’t know if he’s seeing anyone else. He could be married with kids, for all you know.
Not – not that you care. Not that you give a fuck what he’s doing, who he’s fucking, where he is when he’s not with you. You don’t care about him past his dick and what it does to you.
If you did care, you’d only suffer for it. So you draw the line.
You don’t need him, and you want to keep it that way. You don’t want to get attached, and neither does he. So you try to keep him at arm’s length.
Close enough to touch but not so close that your foolish, eager heart can leap out of your chest and into his hands.
Would he still give you that boyish grin when he rejected you? Laugh and let you down gently? Would he say yes and hold your hand while you walked together to the guillotine, the painful end to a relationship that wasn’t supposed to happen anyways? Would he skip away while your heart seized and trembled on the executioner’s block?
He’d look pretty even with blood on his face, you’re sure. But you wouldn’t come out so nicely.
So you don’t ask him to stay. You don’t ask him for anything. You take what you’re given and you savor it, but you try – oh, god, do you fucking try – to find someone else, something else to occupy your time.
But he’s just too good. You want him. And you don’t get to have him if you ignore his texts and don’t answer when he’s at the door. You don’t get to fuck him if you won’t even let him see you.
So even if you look away, even if your answers are short, even if you don’t let him stay (not that he even wants to) – you have to let him in.
And unlike you, he’s got self-respect. He’s got other options. If he can’t have you, he’ll just fuck other people, so you can’t push him away too much. You have to make him want to come back. You have to make him want to give you more.
But you can’t control what Satoru wants, and that is the problem.
It’s out of your hands, locked securely in his ribcage where you can never get to it.
He doesn’t talk about his life, his history, doesn’t even complain about work during off hours.
Really, it’s already over, isn’t it? Has been, ever since the beginning. You’re just waiting for the inevitable end.
“Mmmh… that’s it for me tonight.” You say, tired. So tired, and warm. Satoru always leaves you like this; loose-limbed and floaty, high enough to feel the drop. “You can shower before you leave, if you want.”
“Oh? I can’t stay the night?” Satoru asks, teasing, “Just gonna pump and dump me? So mean~”
You close your eyes, trying not to think of what his face must look like.
“Knock yourself out. But you can’t shower in the morning, you’ll wake me up.”
“What a coincidence,” He purrs, laying next to you on the bed, “I’m a late sleeper, too.”
Satoru’s arm around your form presses you against him, just barely. Not too close. Never too close.
You don’t say anything more. You lay there and let him hold you while you fall asleep.
You can feel it when he wakes up. How his breathing changes, how he stiffens and tenses against you, you tumble out of sleep instantly, lashes fluttering.
You shut them closed again. Relax yourself. You don’t have to get up. You don’t want to get up.
Why isn’t he leaving yet? What’s taking him so long?
There’s this tension that creeps into your chest. Like you can feel each individual breath he takes. Waiting for him to say something, shake you awake – but why would he? And why would you want him to?
You know what this is. You’ve always known.
So you lay there, still, breathing calm and even, until he leaves.
(…Come back. Please come back.)
#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk smut#satoru gojo smut#lemon#female!reader#afab!reader#jjk x reader
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hellooo can you write a fic where reader and chris have a pregnancy scare?
what could be.
Author's note: thank you for the request, and sorry for being so late, pft. I hope you like it anon, here is an angsty/fluffy fic with Chris. Him and babies make me giddy fr. Don't copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: uhm, none. But y'all.. use protection always. Didn't proofread!
⠀
It started with a simple sentence, one that hung in the air like a grenade waiting to go off.
"My period’s a week late."
Chris froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. The casual dinner we were having, sitting on the couch like we always did, suddenly felt like something fragile, ready to shatter. His face went pale as he put his fork down, staring at me like he hadn’t quite understood what I’d just said.
"What?" His voice was flat, cold.
I shifted uncomfortably, already regretting saying anything. "I’m late, Chris. A week late."
He sat back, his eyes narrowing as if he could will this entire conversation out of existence. "Are you serious?"
I nodded. "I thought it was just stress at first, but…"
"Jesus Christ," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, the frustration already palpable. "How could this happen?"
The way he said it — like it was some personal failure, like this was my fault, made my blood run cold.
"Uhm, now I don't mean to break it to you.." I snapped, my voice rising defensively, "but we were both there, remember?"
"Yeah, well, you’re the one who keeps track of this stuff, right? Shouldn’t you have known?" His voice was sharp, accusatory, and it stung.
I stood up from the couch, the tension in my body rising like a tidal wave, "what the actual fuck are you even saying? You think I want this to be happening? You think this is something I wanted to deal with right now?"
Chris got up too, pacing in the small living room, his hands clenched at his sides, "no, I don’t know what the hell you want! All I know is, we’re not ready for this. We can’t be dealing with a fucking baby right now."
I felt the familiar lump forming in my throat, but I swallowed it down, refusing to let him see how much his words hurt. "Chris, we’re in this together, okay? Why are you acting like I did something wrong?"
"Because this is—" He stopped, running his hands over his face. "This changes everything, okay? Everything we’ve been working for. All our plans, all our.. us!"
"What, and a baby ruins all that?" I cut him off, my voice shaking with anger. "Is that what you think? That this would ruin everything?"
He didn’t answer right away, and the silence that followed was louder than any argument we’d ever had. He just stood there, staring at the floor, and I couldn’t tell if he was thinking or trying to come up with a way to end this conversation without making it worse.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low. "Yeah. I think it would."
I blinked, feeling like I’d been slapped. I could feel my heart racing, the adrenaline pushing through me, making me feel sick. "Wow," I whispered, stepping back like I needed space from him, like I couldn’t stand being near him right now. "That’s really how you fucking feel?"
He looked up, his face tight with frustration. "We’re not ready for this. You know that. You’ve got your career just starting to take off, I’m still figuring things out. It’s not the right time."
"You don’t get to decide that for both of us," I shot back, my voice cracking under the weight of the argument. "This is happening, whether you like it or not. What are you going to do if I am pregnant? Walk away?"
Chris’s eyes flashed with something—maybe guilt, maybe regret, I couldn’t tell. "I’m not walking away," he said through gritted teeth, "but I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with this either."
I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. The hurt and anger tangled up inside me was too much, and if I opened my mouth again, I didn’t trust what would come out. Instead, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, his silence chasing me as I went.
For the next day and a half, we barely spoke. Every interaction was charged, electric with the weight of what had been said and left unsaid. He slept on the couch that night, and I didn’t bother asking him to come back to bed. I wasn’t sure I wanted him there.
The test sat on the bathroom counter, waiting for me, taunting me with the unknown. I couldn’t bring myself to take it, not when things between us felt so raw, so fragile. But after another restless night of tossing and turning, I couldn’t take the uncertainty anymore. I had to know.
When I walked into the living room that morning, Chris was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at his phone. He looked up when I entered, and for a second, there was something in his eyes—regret, maybe. Or guilt. I couldn’t tell.
"I’m taking the test," I said, my voice flat.
He stood up, nodding stiffly. "I’ll come with you."
"Yeah, you don't fucking have to." I said, but he followed me either way.
We walked to the bathroom in silence, and I grabbed the box off the counter with shaking hands. Chris stood by the door, watching me, his expression unreadable. I couldn’t even look at him as I went through the motions, my stomach twisting into knots.
When it was done, we sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the result. The timer on my phone ticked down, each second stretching out longer than the last.
"I’ve been thinking," Chris said suddenly, his voice softer than it had been in days. I glanced at him, unsure of what to expect.
"About what?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "About everything. About what I said… how I reacted."
I remained silent.
He hesitated before continuing, "I was scared, okay? I still am. I’m terrified, actually. But… I’ve been thinking. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing."
I blinked, surprised. "What?"
He looked at me, his expression softer now, more open. "I’m not saying it’d be easy. But if you are pregnant, I mean… we’d figure it out, right? We’d get through it."
For the first time in days, I felt a tiny flicker of hope. "You really think so?"
He nodded, his gaze steady on mine. "Yeah. I don’t want to be that guy who just freaks out and runs away. If it happens, I want to be there for you. For both of you."
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. Maybe we’d been fighting, maybe we were scared, but hearing him say that made me feel like we could actually do this, if we had to.
"And if I really think about it.." he continued, his thumb on my cheek caressing the skin so gently, as if I was a porcelain doll, "the idea of having a little baby with you that looks just like their mom.. yeah, I think I'm fine with that." he teased with a little smile and that's all I needed to hear.
The timer went off, the sharp beep cutting through the air. We both froze, looking at each other.
"Do you want to…?" Chris asked, nodding toward the bathroom.
I shook my head. "You can look."
He stood up, walking over to the counter, his movements slow and hesitant. I watched him as he picked up the test, his face unreadable. For a moment, he just stared at it, not saying anything.
Finally, he looked up at me, his expression a mixture of relief and something else I couldn’t quite place. "It’s negative."
I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. "Negative?"
He nodded, setting the test down and walking back over to me. "Yeah. You’re not pregnant."
Relief washed over me, but there was something else too. Something that felt almost like disappointment. I pushed it down, not wanting to think too much about it.
Chris sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I’m sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "For how I acted. I didn’t handle any of this well."
I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I let the warmth of his embrace chase away the last remnants of fear. "It’s okay," I murmured. "We’re okay."
"Is it crazy that I've started to warm up to the idea?" he whispered against my hair and even though I didn't want a baby, I still felt giddy hearing him say that.
"Your mood swings are acting up." I teased and buried my face into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss there, "although.. so did I." I whispered.
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#chris sturniolo fluff#fan fiction#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#christooher owen sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#christopher sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#sturniolo#one shot#oneshot#fiction#matt sturniolo fluff#fluff#chris sturniolo angst#angst#angst with a happy ending
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a few words. l Joel Miller
Summary: words he didn't want you to hear
Warnings: angst, unpleasant conversation, they move away from each other
A/N: nothing special. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
Tommy looked at his brother as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He hadn't expected this and was slowly regretting that he had shown up at the stables with a few bottles of beer that evening.
"You can't be fucking serious." he finally said.
The man who was sitting on a haystack by the wall seemed exhausted. His brown eyes were fixed on the horse in the opposite stall, the bottle in his big hands still full of beer.
"You slept with her?" Joel looked at him surprised. "What? Simple question. Did you sleep with her or not?"
Joel shook his head. "No."
"But you wish you did."
He looked down, but he couldn't lie to someone who knew him so well. Of course he thought about it. Most often when he was alone in the dark bedroom. Memories of every kiss, tender touch, moments when he held you in his arms - all of these haunted him like ghosts.
He was furious because he wanted more. He wanted to be alive again, to feel again. But should he?
"Joel, you've known each other for years, you live together. Why are you messing with her head if you don't want anything to do with her?"
"It's not like that, Tommy..." his voice was tired, barely audible. "Everything's different with her."
"So why don't you want to give it a chance?" Tommy took a sip of beer. "I don't get it. If you want to be with her, then be. Tell her how you feel and..."
"I'm too old for this!" Joel snapped. "She deserves better, and I can't give it to her."
"Bullshit!" Tommy muttered.
There was silence for a moment. The distant noises of the city settling in for the night drifted through the open stable door. Tommy sat down next to his brother, resting his arms on his knees.
"She's a really nice girl," he said. "I see how she looks at you, cares about you and Ellie. Do you really want to break her heart like that?"
"She's tough."
"Yes, she is."
"Are you going out?"
You were just putting a thermos with a hot drink and a couple of sandwiches into your backpack, you didn't even look up when Joel went down to the kitchen in the morning.
"Yeah. I'm going on patrol." you answered.
Joel frowned. "Our turn is tomorrow."
"I swapped with Paul. He'll go with you. You two get along."
An unpleasant shiver ran down his spine, his heart sped up. The backpack was almost ready, and you didn't seem in the mood for long conversations.
"I'd rather go with you." he grumbled, coming closer and clenching his hands on the back of the chair.
"A change will do you good. It'll do us good too."
"Have you talked to Tommy about this?"
You slung your backpack over your shoulder and looked him in the eye for the first time. He saw something strange in that look. A mixture of sadness, anger, and some kind of severity. You hadn't looked at him like that before.
"You'll probably talk to him yourself, right?" you said "I think..." your voice broke for a moment, but you quickly got back on track. "I think when I get back I'll ask Maria to find me another place to live."
"W-What? Why?"
"We both know why."
You adjusted your backpack and left the house. The world you had built had just collapsed.
"What the fuck was I supposed to do?"
"You could have not let her go!"
"She's an adult, Joel! She came last night, said she had already talked to Paul. I couldn't say no to her." Tommy put the crate in the storage room and looked at Joel.
He could see that his brother was furious and distraught. You usually went on patrols together, Joel didn't like you going out alone. Although he knew you would manage, he didn't fully trust others. Now he had completely lost control over anything.
Tommy looked at him with pity. "I think she must have heard us yesterday. Maria saw her in town, she was upset. Then she showed up at our place. I didn't ask, it's none of my business."
"You could have stopped her." Joel repeated quietly.
"And you could have kept her with you. But you chose not to."
He could.
☆☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist
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“Figures,” he mumbles. And it does, Steve Harrington being a literal demon. Handsome, rich, charming, beloved by everyone? Yeah. And they think Eddie is the monster.
Steve chuckles. “What's wrong, Munson? Hoping for something a little more cartoonish? Horns and a tail?”
“You could be hiding horns in all that goofy hair,” he quips, because why not? The world has proven to be extremely unfair but no one will ever take being an asshole from Eddie Munson.
A happy grin splits Steve's handsome face, making him Hollywood Walk-of-Fame hot, instead of his usual boy-next-door hot. So fucking unfair. They do say Lucifer was the most beautiful angel.
“You're not scared of me,” Steve observes.
He thinks about it. There’s a part of Eddie that's surprised the stupid ritual worked, another part annoyed that the demon known as Steve Harrington was the one to answer his call, still another part kind of excited to be verbally sparring with a supernatural creature, but scared? Nah.
“I once saw you chug six cartons of lunch milk on a dare.” He looks Steve up and down. “Come to think of it, what was a demon doing in high school anyway?”
He leans casually up against the kitchen counter. “We all have to start somewhere.”
That's interesting. “So you're born…like a human?”
His eyes flash red again, a cat-like eyeshine. “Not human. No.” He claps, the crack of it actually startles Eddie. “Enough about me. Let's talk about you. What could the infamous Eddie Munson want with a pet demon? It's a little on the nose, don't you think? You, summoning demons.”
He shrugs. “I was bored.”
Steve slinks forward, cat-like again. “No. You shed blood for me, Eddie.” He takes Eddie's hand in his, cradles it, brings it up to their eyeline. As though Eddie forgot he'd sliced his palm open. It still throbs where the skin split. He doesn't care about that, he only cares that Steve's skin is warm, soft, dry. Normal.
“This is serious magic, you know? I don't just show up like this for anybody.” He curls Eddie's fingers, balling his fist up gently. “So? What'll it be?”
The answer is logged in his throat, impossible to loosen. He would've answered to any other demon. But not Steve Harrington. He'll die before he admits this weakness.
“C'mon man, my mom taped Dynasty for me, I was really enjoying it before you called. Let me do your little song and dance so I can get back home and finish my story.”
That's an image. “Your mom a demon too?”
Steve quirks an eyebrow. “She's on the board of our HOA. What do you think?”
“That's a yes. Did she have to dock your tail as a baby? Like a Rottweiler puppy?”
“Eddie,” Steve leans in, close enough that Eddie can see the way the red shines right through the honey brown in his eyes, “what do you want?”
“Nothing. You can go.”
He studies Eddie, unwilling to take him at his word apparently. “No. Tell me. Is it concert tickets? A motorcycle? Your diploma maybe?”
Eddie closes his eyes so Steve doesn't see the stupid tears building up. What an unbelievable asshole. He knew that, even before the whole demon thing, but really, that was a low blow.
Steve realizes it too. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “Being mean is sort of in my nature. Not a good excuse but it's true.”
The apology sounds sincere, which is weird enough to get Eddie to peek at him. He finds Steve has backed up, hands in his pockets, looking sufficiently contrite.
“It's…fine. Seriously though, you're free to leave. I don't think you can help me.”
He's studying Eddie again, like he'll find some clue on Eddie's Motörhead shirt or his ratty flannel pants.
“You want me to kill someone?”
That startles a laugh out of him. “Would you? If I asked?”
“Depends on who it is,” he says, completely serious.
“Principal Higgins,” Eddie tests him.
Unfortunately, Steve sees right through that. “That would be fun but that's not why you called me.”
“So what? I said you're free to go, why are you so obsessed with this?”
“Well, Mr Doesn't Read the Fine Print, I'm not free to go. You see, this,” he's in Eddie’s space again in an instant, tugging on Eddie's injured hand, “this means you've bound me to you until the parameters of the deal have been met. So either you tell me what you want or you wake up at seven am tomorrow to follow me to open Scoops Ahoy.”
Eddie blinks. “You work at Scoops Ahoy?”
“Yes.” He stares back. “What? I had to get a summer job.”
“But you're a demon.”
“So? You think if I could magic up whatever I wanted for myself I would be living here? Serving ice cream to nine year olds while wearing a polyester sailor suit?”
Holy shit, I bet he has to wear the shorts and everything, Eddie thinks.
“We're getting off track.” He jiggles Eddie's arm. “Just tell me, dude. If you think it's bad, you should've heard the shit I did for Tommy H. Sadistic little shit still doesn't understand everything I did for him.”
“Fine. Get me a motorcycle.”
That earns him another grin. “Nope. Try again. You had intent when you called me. That matters. It has to be fulfilled or we're stuck together. And I can tell you now, you do not want to be stuck with me. I'm not always this pleasant.”
Eddie can't, won't, say it. It's the most vulnerable thing he's ever asked the universe for, and he's not admitting it to the former captain of the basketball team.
“I'm sure it'll wear off after a while.”
“Wear off- You- Oh my god, humans shouldn't be allowed to do magic.” He rubs at his temples.
Peripherally, Eddie is aware that Steve has really nice arms, but that's not relevant.
“I'll have to torture the information out of you, you realize that, right?”
Intriguing. “What sort of torture?”
Steve stares. “You know, it's you saying shit like that why people think you're a freak.”
Eddie shrugs.
“Okay. Fine. It'll start with nightmares. Then I'll curse all your food to taste like ash. Next comes the flies, hundreds of them. Then the dead birds, then-”
Ugh. What a clichè. He marches over to the couch and flings himself down. “Whatever, dude. Do your worst.” He grabs the remote and turns the TV on. It's getting late, most of the channels are off the air, but that doesn't stop him from surfing. He can feel Steve staring. Eddie hopes his mouth is hanging open in offense. He doesn't want to look, it'll ruin the effect.
“Fine. Fine!” He stomps over and throws himself down in Wayne's chair.
And that's the story of how Eddie got a pet demon. The binding doesn't end up being all that difficult to work around, they just have to see each other once a day. Eddie likes to visit Scoops and bother him and Robin. They end up forming a tight little unit. Steve doesn't seem all that bothered to be tied to Eddie and, strangest of all, after months of all their close contact, something more grows.
It's not until one morning, waking up in Eddie's arms to find the binding gone, that Steve realizes what Eddie had wanted that night.
He never does admit it. Says he's still waiting on his motorcycle.
Demon Eddie this, Demon Eddie that…take a minute to picture Demon STEVE
Theres so much fun to be had with that. Maybe that’s how he got to the top, favours and exchanges
People come to him with requests and they don’t know how, but he always gets it done.
And then they owe him.
It becomes a thing for him to jokingly go “you owe me!” With a big smile, but they literally do. And he always cashes in, but usually just for small things he wants in the moment. Like a spare cigarette or a drink at a party.
And hey! Maybe Eddie DOES try to summon demons…
And one night, after he’s playing dress up as a satanist, he finally manages to summon one successfully.
Not that he knows that, all he knows is that Steve Harrington is knocking on his door all of a sudden.
Stupid puffy hair and goofy grin staring at him while he leans in.
“You called?”
And Eddie looks towards the phone slowly and back to Steve. Because no, no he didn’t.
He’s too tired and high to even pretend to be polite, just shutting the door in his face before leaning against it with a deep sigh.
But when he opens his eyes, Steve is stood there. In his trailer. As if Eddie didn’t just block his only way in and- okay, yeah. His eyes are fucking red.
He probably shouldn’t have used that book.
#eddie bleeding onto a pentagram#send me an angel the nicest one you have#lmao#again i hope this is okay#apparently i can only get inspired by other peoples prompts#steddie#ficlet#my writing
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I know you're a burningcheese merchant but can we have some hcs or snippets for mysticcacao 👉👈
You don't have to do it if you mind
Popping back in for just a minute to become mysticcacao-merchant, just for you 🫵
They'd probably take things quite slow, mostly due to Flour's shyness and embarrassment (and a bit of honest shame, really. She never thought she'd be shackled by meaningless emotions again, love least of all. But Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome came and stole not only her Soul Jam, but her heart... truly, life is suffering). But Cacao doesn't mind. He's very much a gentleman (more so than even Pure Vanilla), he will not say or do anything she doesn't want him to and respects her boundaries with zero complaint. (He's a bit nervous and uncomfortable for a while, too, so she's not really alone there lol)
They end up doing a lot of activities together where they don't really talk. Lots of long walks through the mountains, many games of Go, even meditating together (first they sat a ways away apart from each other, then when they became comfortable enough, they started sitting back-to-back). The silence doesn't bother them at all; they're both the sort of person who appreciates quiet moments like that, and they don't necessarily need to talk to understand each other.
He once gave her his coat to wear (the one that's part of the "Vanquisher of the Two Dragons" costume) because he noticed she was cold. Later, when it was time to part ways, he asked if she wanted to hold onto it. She said no. He reached for it and got slapped really hard with her ribbons. This happened several times before he got the message and just went home without it lol ("why are women like this", he wondered to himself)
She's not that far from him height-wise (5'9'' vs 6'1'', in my headcanon), so he never has to bend down much to kiss her. (He likes to just get close and press quick little kisses to her forehead)
This moment? In both of their heads?
RENT. FUCKING. FREE.
They went to the Dumpling Soup Hot Springs once and Flour saw Cacao take his shirt off and almost fucking died (he kept his pants on, thank goodness, she would've returned to flour on the spot if he stripped any further than he did)
They exchange letters a lot because Flour refuses to leave Beast-Yeast and Cacao can't visit her often (he has a kingdom to run and bad guys to fight). Flour arranged for a bird native to her mountain to be the one to come and go with letter deliveries, since it's very tough and would remember how to make the journey. Cacao keeps her letters in a box hidden somewhere in his room, Flour keeps his tucked on a shelf in her study in the Ivory Pagoda. They both really like each other's handwriting/calligraphy
Their kisses are almost always quite chaste. Flour is too hesitant to ask for more and Cacao will not push unless she explicitly asks for it... but they both want it lol. It's just a matter of Flour learning to be bold and allowing herself to indulge her own wants
They're able to get along a lot easier than the other Ancients and Beasts might because they already aren't that different from each other. Both are very calm, disciplined, serious people who tend towards stoicism and asceticism (or just rejection of base wants and desires in general). They just get each other right away, after putting away the "mortal enemies" thing haha
Cloud Haetae is really jealous of Cacao in the "kid is jealous of the man their mom is dating because they're scared he'll take her away and she won't love them anymore and the kid doesn't know better" sort of way. Cacao demonstrates his surprising skill with animals, dogs especially thanks to the cream wolves (Haetae is not a dog but it works anyway lol), and wins the little guy over pretty fast lol
#cookie run kingdom#dark cacao cookie#mystic flour cookie#mysticcacao#dark cacao crk#mystic flour crk#you're all welcome to ask me about the other BeastxAncient ships too. I like them all to some degree haha#BurningCheese is my no.1 but PureShadow isn't far behind tbh
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Could you recommend me 1-2 good "standard" bl from each of the main bl producing countries (China, Japan, Taiwan, Thailand and South Korea)? I'm interested in the differences in tropes and execution between bl from different countries, especially Taiwan and Thailand. I'm looking for bl that's highly rated because it's well-executed but doesn't stray from the expected formula for its region.
Great BLs that ALSO rep for their country's style
I really took the "represent" part seriously. Here are my (end of 2024) quick pulls, explanations etc in the linked posts at the bottom.
Japan
Seven Days (or I Cannot Reach You)
Old Fashion Cupcake
For the darker stuff: Tokyo in April is
Korea
Semantic Error
To My Star
For their new style of darker stuff: The 8th Sense or Love for Love's Sake
Thailand
These were absolutely the hardest to pick, so I couldn't stick to 2. There's just so much Thai BL.
My School President - best high school rep (heritage = Love of Siam, Love Sick, the true Thai BL beginnings)
Bad Buddy - best uni BL rep (heritage = 2gether, SOTUS, the beginning of Thai BL global dominance) alternative = Oxygen which is possibly the most classic Thai uni BL we have ever gotten (but Bad Buddy is better acted)
We Are - best GMMTV ensemble piece, heritage is actually also Love Sick, but in 2024 everyone is gay.
Lovely Writer - best meta
My Ride - best pulp
The Sign - best wild what-the-actual-fuck? ride (KinnPorshe also an option)
For an example of the few times Thailand got elevated: I Feel You Linger in the Air or A Tale of Thousand Stars. But these are atypical, we only get a few of them a year from Thailand.
Taiwan
These were the easiest to pick.
We Best Love
Be Loved In House: I Do
But actually: History 4: Make Our Day's Count will tell you everything you ever needed to know about Taiwanese BL in one mess of a show. It's just... not that great.
China
Addicted
Word of Honor
The Philippines
Gameboys
My Day
Vietnam
Mr Cinderella
My Lascivious Boss
But by most standards neither of these are actually very good.
Here's a 2022 post where I talk about the differences between country's styles and approaches.
If you want representative samples from a historical perspective than I do that here:
In that post, you'll need to decide what kind of representation you want to consume though, because some are very old, and others newer, since this is set up to learn about the evolution of the genre.
I also wrote a whole series on the history of the genre along with my top 10 picks at the time (2022). It's old now but still holds up for what you want. I would say pick any two from the top ten of each list, but please understand my personal taste leans toward the lighter fluffier fare. (Which means my top ten from places like Japan is very skewed. Also several countries have added new top 10, for me personally, in 2023 & 2024).
Here's a fun one on the tropes people love in the different countries
And a personal favorite, very silly and not helpful at all.
(source)
#asked and answered#bls that best represent for their country#bl by country#bl style by country#bl tropes by country
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꧁Truth and apologies꧂
Part 3 of the LN4 series:New Start
Warning: implied sexual themes
Word count:1288
Summary: After accidentally colliding into Lando and ignoring him for a few weeks you were at a post race party just drinking your nowhere to be found partying mood away until Lando walked up to you.
@fishyfishersticks
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
Over the 2024 season, he grew bold. Too bold for his sake but also matured a lot in such a short time. He was no longer that pleased with something less than a win after his first victory in Miami, and you guys slowly started having little fights because you tried talking some sense into him and telling him that he doesn't always need to win, but he was too blinded by this fight for the championship when he saw that he had a chance to win the title.
Things were okay until one catastrophic race. You were fighting for the first place and you were behind him. You were having a shitty weekend and one wrong move ruined peverything, for both you and Lando. You collided sending both McLaren cars into the wall and he came out furious.
"Lando are you oka-" you tried talking when he interrupted you
"Y/N what the fuck is your problem?"
"Excuse me?"
"God.. you're such a pain in the ass. I'm fighting for a championship and you pull stunts like that!"
"The hell are you on? You turned towards me as much as I did into you!"
"It's your fault you got that close. If you can't overtake someone,keep your position."
Your jaw dropped at Lando's harsh words. You were furious at him because it wasn't only your fault.And what enraged you more was the fact that he didn't have the guts to admit that he was in the wrong too.
"Cry me a fucking river. You're an asshole."
You and Lando didn't speak again that race and refused to give any answers to the question that involved one another.
The following race which was hungary Lando won and you got p2. Sure you congratulates each other but the words were cold and the podium celebration was really awkward. You avoided him just as much as he avoided you.
You weren't going to apologize when you knew he was wrong. You're not saying sorry just to fix something you didn't ruin. Even though your heart told you to but you were too stubborn for that.
Later that night a bunch of F1 drivers organiser and went out to a club,with you being one of them. You got dressed up in a dress,not too
short but showing the right amount of skin for a party. To be honest you were there more for the drinks because you weren't really in the mood to party and you were told that Lando wouldn't be there so you saw it as an opportunity to have a bit of fun to forget about your whole argument which was still heated.
You sat at the bar ,ordered a bunch of shots to down your tiredness and frustration. You heard a familiar voice from your left and when you looked, it was Lando ordering a whiskey. Thequestion is why the hell was he here? You were told he rathered go to sleep with how tired he was. At least that's what Carlos told you.
You downed your last shot and scrunched your nose slightly ,when he spoke up.
"Can't handle your alcohol, Y/N?"
"Weren't you supposed to be sleeping like the whiny baby you are?"
"I was going to do that but getting a drink sounded better at the moment."
You rolled your eyes and sighed
"Oh how lovely,now can you go bother someone else?"
"No." He answered firmly as he took a sip of
his drink
"And why the hell not?"
"Because we need to talk Y/N"
Oh wow he wantes to talk to you after a week of ignoring you and blaming you for his crash.
"What an honor."
He sat there in silence for a bit and finished his drink in the meantime
"I'm serious Y/N"
You order two more shots and pass one to him.
"Go ahead,i guess..."
He sighed
"Look i wanted to say I'm sorry for lashing out on you like that. I was pissed that you crashed into me and i took it too far."
You downed your last shot and shot him a glare
"Yeah go ahead and blame me. Definitely i turned into you on purpose.. Thanks for the apology."
You stand up and go outside of the club with Lando quickly following you and calling after you
"Y/N wait! For fuck's sake... That's not what I meant. Why are you so difficult,Jesus!"
You snapped at him your tone slightly raising
"I'm the one who's difficult? I'm sorry I'm realistic and that your whiny ass couldn't admit that the crash was our fault,not just mine because apparently that hurts your new bought fragile ego. I'm so tired of your shit!"
He took your hand when you walked away and his featured seemed softer. He finally had that glint of regret in his eyes that you haven't seen in so long.
"Y/N you're right. Look i know I'm not the best with words and that i acted like and asshole but i really mean my apology. The crash wasn't just you,it was me as well and I'm sorry that this fight for the championship made me act like I'm better than you and that i have the right to treat you like that.."
You were still pissed so you pulled away again and sent another rude remark his way
He grabbed your hand firmly and pulled you close to him,one hand snaking behind to hold you by the waist so you wouldn't leave again
"Y/N just listen. We can't keep going like this. I hate being mad at you,I hate not talking to you.We're teammates but more importantly, we're friends...and things won't work out if we start a rivalty so just please forgive me."
You look up at him and you see his sincere gaze eating you, making you feel guilty
"Please.."He repeated his words. He was practically begging you to forgive him.
You just looked at him and in that moment it came down on you. One hand on your wrist,the other on your waist and his face so close made you want to kiss him and run a hand through his stupidly perfect curls and oh boy you being slightly drunk didn't make things easier for you.
You felt like it was just the two of you. You just gave in and let your body take the decisions for you so you just pressed your lips softly against his and placed a hand on his cheek
To your surpise he didn't pull back immediately and when he did he had his typical smug smile
"I'll just take it as a sign that you forgive me."
With those words being said he kissed you again but this time more fierce but also soft, moving both hands to hold your waist. You automatically wrapped your arms around his neck and slid a hand into his curls from the back of his head. You didn't expect him to reciprocate this but it was fucking amazing.
You felt those two hands creep lower and then squeezing you gently. It took you slightly by surprise but you did enjoy it.
He slowly pushed you against the wall and he kissed your neck, his lips trailing along your jawline until he found your mouth again. He kisses you hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth in a passionate but sweet way the music and the neon lights of the club and the music fading in the background.
When you pulled back a little ,you desperately reached for your phone to call an uber and you needed it now. You needed to get back to the hotel with Lando as soon as possible.
#formula 1#f1#lando norris#ln4 fanfic#mclaren formula 1#ln4 x y/n#mclaren racing#ln4 x female reader#ln4 fluff#formula 1 imagine#ln4#lando norris 4#lando imagine#lando x reader#implied smut#love#alcohol#lando angst#ln4 angst#f1 angst#f1 fluff#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader
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I know "fuck canon" is always an option and generally the more sensible thing to do, but with last night's episode I had two smidgens of HOPE and now with Tim's apparent new interview I just want to crawl back into my cave again 🫥
Hi nonnie!
TLDR (cause I'm having THOUGHTS): I don't think anything is off the table, if I had to bet money I'd lay somewhat decent odds that Buck and Tommy get back together, and I don't think either side of the ship war has anything in particular that indicates victory.
I'll preface this by saying yes, 'fuck canon'is usually the more sensible option. 'Fuck canon' is where no one ever dies, people do not make stupid decisions, and couples never break up.
And I'll also preface this by saying that Buck is my favorite character (honestly one of my favorite characters of all time, not just this show) and my ultimate OTP is Buck/Happiness in this show, however he gets it and whoever gives it to him. I am quite happy being a multishipper and I started out in fandom spaces back in the mid-nineties, where the etiquette and relationship to the content were vastly, vastly different than today and that really colors the lense I view fandom through. In the ship war, I'm mostly Switzerland.
Still with me? Okay.
My main source of optimism re: Buck/Tommy is the simple fact that guys...911 is Not That Deep. It's a fun show (usually), predicated on ridiculous Situations (increasingly), and in movie terms is a cash-grab popcorn flick. Have they hit something with the characters and actors that often elevates it above its station? Absolutely. Are there parts that make you go, "whoa, this came from the shark on a highway weewoo show?" Of course! But 911 isn't fucking Inception. There's no hidden messages and jaw-dropping plot twists that No One Saw Coming.
Like...all the cries about "learn some media literacy you cretins!" really have me scratching my head because, uh, taking everything solely at face value--this absolutely is the Third Act Miscommunication in the relationship. Both parties expressed a desire for the relationship to be more. They broke up on the tried and true "I'm doing this for both our sakes'even though it hurts" and not a dealbreaker schism which they ABSOLUTELY could have done. Literally, one scene of "wow I can't wait to be a dad/oh, uh that's not something I want" and we have a reason to break up that has the exact same "no villains just circumstance" vibe.
On the other hand, it absolutely is a stopping point that is believably permanent.
They went out of their way to show how desperately much Buck wants to talk to Tommy (like we turned it into a meme, but they didn't really have to show him baking That Much) and how he's spiraling in a way we haven't really seen since Abby. In a Hallmark romcom this would be where the audience is reassured that our plucky protagonist has Real Feelings for the LI.
On the other hand, the show often uses Buck as comic relief and the keep away with the phone could absolutely be the indicator that this breakup isn't as serious as Buck thinks it is and he should move on.
The interviews are pretty disheartening, but the interviews for this show really honestly have always had a kind of weird monkey's paw quality to them. Like, they don't lie exactly, but there's a lot of misdirect.
As it stands now, the relationship 100% reads like a Hallmark romcom that is being written by people who Had a Gay Friend In College Guys, So of COURSE We Know What We're Doing...wait why are you discoursing?
On the other hand, as it stands now, it also wouldn't be surprising if this was the end. I honestly don't think they have 100% decided how it's going to go and the writing and especially the pacing this season has been so uneven that it's not hiding the flaws in the storytelling as well as it usually does.
But, if canon goes in a direction I don't like, I have no problem saying 'fuck canon' ;)
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Adam walked up the desolate streets of the Pride Ring. Behind him, the exorcists took off to the sky.
Adam could hear the screaming and begging of the sinners not quick enough to get away.
Lute walks up next to him: Year three, sir. Would you like me to stay with you?
Adam: Nah, go kick some ass bitch.
Lute: You to, sir.
She spreads her wings and launches herself up and away from her commander.
Adam sighed. Fuck he hated coming down here. It's been a good six thousand years since he died. And five thousand since he learned just how many of his descendants were ending up here when they died. It was fucking embarrassing.
He didn't want to slaughter them, but Heaven insists it's a better fate than Hell. He thinks they should suffer down here. It's what they deserve. To fall with that bastard who calls himself a king.
Lucifer: Back again, huh? I really thought Heaven was joking! But uh... well, look who's back.
Adam rolled his eyes. This fucking clown. He turns and stares down the "king". The fucking lair.
Adam: Nope. Their dead serious. You signed the contract, asshole, so don't act so surprised.
Lucifer leaned on his cane and waved his hands around.
Lucifer: No, no, I understand the whole contract thing... I'm just surprised, is all. You of all people... actually condoning this? You were so... not this.
Adam didn't want to do this. He struggled for over nine hundred years on earth. He wanted his afterlife. He wanted his peace. But no. He was cleaning up this chuckle fucks mess. He had to raise his son, deal with constant pressure from the angels, deal with Eve's fucking put downs and bulling- while still having to fuck the bitch.
After all these years, he's still picking up after Lucifer. And all he has to do is sit on his bullshit throne and jerk off. Raise a daughter. With a wife who loves him. Adam doesn't have that. He can't. He can't give himself to another. He doesn't dare touch anyone or let them get too close. No one has seen his face for thousands of years.
It's to the point where he doesn't even know if there's someone underneath it. Or if he really has horns and sharp teeth.
Adam: You don't know me.
Lucifer: ...I used to.
Adam glared, his fingers itching to spawn his axe.
Asam: No, you didn't.
Lucifer: Adam- it's been a long time. Don't you think we- you should have moved past this by now? You have your afterlife, live it! Pun intended-.
Adam: I don't have a fucking afterlife. THIS bullshit takes up 98% of it! Do you think I WANT to be fucking down here?! Do you think I WANT to have to fucking see you every fucking year!? I've had enough of this bullshit! But no. Their my descendants- my fucking issue! Picking up YOUR trash! Instead of doing whatever I want, I have to come here and fucking listen to the screams! To the begging! I don't want to be here. I don't want to see you. Or think about you. Or hear you. Or about your fucking bullshit family- I don't give a fuck.
Lucifer: Adam- if you keep doing this, you'll end up down here-.
Lucifer tensed as a giant, golden axe flew past his head. He follows the axe and watches it slam into the torso of a snake sinner. A large one, too. He hears a gutteral scream, the sinner clawing at the heavy axe before falling limp.
Lucifer eyes are wide, and he turns to look at the man he considers- after all these years, his best friend. His sweet, gentle Adam.
He suddenly finds himself looking up at the man. He's so much taller than he was in Eden. He can't read his expression because of that damn mask. How can he be sure that's even his Adam under there?
Adam: I won't fall for your people's sins. I'm here to cleanse them. To rid their souls from this joke of an existence. I'm cleaning up your mess.
Lucifer stares at him. Even as the axe his pulled into Adam's hand, he doesn't flinch. But he could barely keep his eyes off the dark red blood dripping from the blade and down the handle to Adam's hands.
Lucifer: ...this isn't you. This isn't Adam.
Adam: Adam's dead. He died in that fucking garden. And I wish I could fucking join him.
Lucifer was stunned into silence as Adam walked away. He watched him for a few seconds.
Lucifer: You'll end up here Adam! And I'll be waiting for you!
Adam stops and turns to Lucifer, a deranged smile on his face.
Adam: I'll butcher every last one of these fuckers before that happens. And, as soon as that contract is broken, I'll be coming after you, and that little family of yours~.
Lucifer: Don't you DARE threaten them, Adam!
Adam: It's not a threat, it's a fucking promise. I'll show your daughter who you really fucking are, a lair, a cheater, a betrayer, a fucking clown. I'll make her hate you as much as I do.
Lucifer watches as Adam takes off. It's so quick that he almost missed it.
Adam could feel himself start to cry, and it pisses him off. Now he's shedding tears for that fucker. He eyes a group of sinners who aren't running. Good, they haven't noticed him.
Lucifers is about to walk away when a few blocks away. There is an explosion of golden light. It sets the sky on fire, and smoke and dust are sent into the sky. The screaming echoes through the streets.
Lucifer: ...I've lost you.
Adam finds himself standing in the kitchen. His face and chest were soaked with tears. His vision is nothing but gold until he rubs his eyes, and everything slowly returns to normal. He looks down at his chest and hands, their covered in gold. The golden tears he cries.
He looks out the window. It's still dark. He has time to shower and start on Lucifer's breakfast.
Maybe he'll pick some fresh flowers.
I'm coming up with some aus for you, but I need some meeting shenanigans.
I would love to know what bullshit Adam and Lucifer got up to during meetings.
Slowly healing their relationship, one meeting at a time 👀
Well I think the very first one they wouldn't even be alone together because of what happened. I think Adam would just silently glare at him.
Over time when Adam was feeling more confident to face the devil he'd go alone but by hologram, Sera's idea.
Making snide remarks, snappy comments, and being sassy.
And Lucifer would come back with his own and they would end up in banter for a while other than why they are really there.
As more time passes it's less hateful and more playful, maybe even takes on a flirty edge.
And I always see Lucifer being the one to make the first move after what happened in Eden. Adam has so many insecurities he wouldn't think that Lucifer would want him as more than maybe a friend.
Hit me with them bud 👀
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An Open Letter to Dan and Phil
Dear beloved nerds,
This was originally going to be an (even longer) actual letter that I was going to give to you at the tour, but my nonprofit-employed ass can’t afford a meet and greet, so we’re doing this instead. I promise it’s not just trauma dumping— mostly, it’s about saying thank you and trying to cultivate some hope for all of us.
I’ve been a big fan since around 2014, when I was a mentally ill neurotic deeply repressed loner egg (average phannie, let's be honest). Now I’m a whole adult who got therapy and HRT and has joined the legions of transmascs with the Dan Howell haircut! What a legacy.
I’m making jokes because the thing I actually want to talk about, and the reason I decided to make this an open letter, is kind of serious. But in light of the election, I feel like I need to share this, both with you and with all the other queers in this little corner of the internet.
Here’s the gist: I’m a paralegal at a non-profit organization that works to help queer migrants get asylum. Mostly what I do is sit them down in our nasty sterile office and try to be kind, and help them get through telling me all the most terrible things that have happened to them, and then turn around and pare it all down into legalese that is digestible to the government to make the case they should get asylum.
It’s a horrible job, really, and one that shouldn’t have to exist. Some parts are plainly wonderful, like meeting so many queer people from all walks of life. But it’s also heartrending and difficult, and burnout is always looming. My horrible banal work is often literally a matter of life and death for the client, and I’m fighting a broken system for a chance at giving them the happiness and safety is owed to them by international law and, really, by any decent human standard, should never have been in question.
The thing is—and this is reason to hope—queer people really do exist everywhere, no matter how much repression and violence we face. In a tiny village in Colombia, there's a kid who’s all spit and vinegar, dresses like a boy and plays football and fights anyone who says that they can’t, who grows up wiry and gets black eyes because men still can’t handle getting their asses handed to them on the soccer field by a dyke. This client texts me at my work number sometimes to ask if I’ve eaten that day, because they wanted to check in on me. He asked me to call him by a boy’s name, recently. I don’t know that he’s told anyone else. I open every message I send him with "Hola, James."
Then there’s the sweet, babyfaced college freshman who got death threats when he was outed to his classmates back home, and whose parents kicked him out when he refused to marry a girl to protect the family's reputation, leaving him alone in a foreign country. He was couch surfing and just trying not to miss class so he could keep his student status and he was so conscientious I wanted to cry— he’s eighteen, guys. Eighteen. I’ll get him his papers or so help me fucking God I will kill for him. You know? You know. After that meeting I had to sit at my desk with my notebook and fill an entire blank page with the phrase “he’s just a kid,” over and over again, until I felt like I could breathe.
On a Friday morning recently I get up and open my laptop to interpret on a call with a soft-spoken older trans woman who's sat in the bleak phone room of the ICE detention facility because her immigration judge didn’t believe that she was really transgender. “An odor of mendacity pervades everything the respondent says,” the judge wrote in her ruling, where she determined the client wasn't "credible." To this day I’m still floored that she straight up ripped off Tennessee Williams—new frontiers in bigotry, truly. She didn’t even cite. In our meeting now, the client quietly tells us how hard it was when she came out but how happy she was the first time she wore makeup, and she'd rather stay in detention here for indeterminate years as proceedings spiral on than go back to Guatemala, where they'll kill her—boys, if I ever get within spitting distance of this fuckass judge, it is on SIGHT. Absolutely fucking ON SIGHT. For legal purposes, that was a JOKE.
So I finish the call and get up to get a snack. It’s only ten am but feel tired already because I’m angry, which is not unusual but also not something I want to hold onto, because it doesn't help anything. So I make some toast and look at my phone— two texts, which I ignore, a spam email, and, wouldn't you know it, a YouTube notification from Dan and Phil games! Jarring! That’s just sort of how life is though, isn’t it? Deathly serious and lighthearted in the same breath.
But regardless, seeing the notification makes me feel warm, so I have my toast and watch a little video of you two playing Roblox or dress up or whatever it is you do on that channel these days. I have a good giggle and I finish my toast and go back to my desk. It’s a crucial part of my diet really— the giggles, not the toast. I’m not angry anymore. I’ll be angry again, but for now my cortisol levels are manageable and I can put my head back into emails or whatever the fuck. Do you ever think about how plants make food for free out of sunlight but we sit around writing emails all day? And that’s if we’re lucky. Capitalism is hell.
Anyway, there is a point I am trying to make, and it’s not really about the banal horrors of neoliberal nation-state or capitalism or even homophobia. It’s to say thank you for coming back to make silly videos together, because I love them, and you never fail to make me happy. And yeah, maybe something about the story of that scared eighteen-year-old kid at the front of my mind makes it particularly sweet to watch you two goofing off and being openly queer. It reminds me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it gives me the strength to send another fucking email because sometimes doing “important work that I value and believe in deeply” means having to send another fucking email. And sometimes I’ll rewatch your older videos, and then come back to the more recent ones, and my heart bruises, because you remind me what I’m fighting for and why. It’s nothing grandiose, it’s just— for queer people to get to have the ability to grow into themselves and be outrageous and silly and make mistakes and to love and be loved for who they are. To have the safety and support and security that no one should ever go without. That’s all.
So I am being dead serious when I say thank you for making top-tier light entertainment, and for coming back to a job that wasn’t always kind to you, and that it does actually matter. All this talk about terrible influences and legacies has made me think that sometimes you doubt whether you do good in the world, so let me be clear: you really, really do. I kind of get the sense that in order to accept sincerity Dan needs to be beat over the head with it, so if that’s the case, consider yourself coerced, you dickhead. You matter to me, and especially in times like these, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the joy you share is a precious and treasured gift. So please accept my gratitude in return.
All my love,
Jules
(I removed or changed all identifying information in this letter to protect privacy, but the stories are real).
#tldr: dnps queer joy helps me stay afloat and avoid burnout while trying to help other queer people#and its essential like food and water#I would love if people would consider circulating this because it's also a sentiment I want to share with the whole community really#though it's a bit heavy so I understand if you don't feel up for that.#I genuinely get so much joy out of being a weird freak online with all you guys#and im glad these spaces have helped me accept myself#and helped me survive#and i know i'm not the only one#dan and phil#dan howell#phan#phil lester#dnp#i wonder if dan and phil know that whenever my friends are feeling down i send them the wiggly line emoji
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i’ve been thinking about this all day but @dallasgallant gave me the courage to actually put it into words and post it but. consider a warriors au. except i’m really just drawing parallels so the warriors story happens the exact same just with the outsiders characters
i can’t decided if dally or darry would be swan.
which also begs the questions who’s cleon. “swan was cleons number 2” it makes me want to make darry cleon and two-bit swan. (because as much as he’s the resident joker we know he’d step up and be serious when he has too)
but also if i wanted to go off of canon id make darry cleon because cleon dying can be represented by him going soc
and dally would be swan not because he’s the number two but because he’s the one i think is most likely to step up and immediately get them to safety after everything
but also the backstory of cleon finding swan and naming her (i’m going off musical warriors but ykw they’re rly close so it don’t rly matter) and bringing her to the gang is so darry finding dally and claiming him core
(darry collects strays more than anyone else in the gang send tweet)
i’ll think harder on this later omg
you guys have to walk with me on this one okay.
cyrus might just be randy or cherry
WALK WITH ME cyrus trying to get all the gangs to have peace, work together and all that. randy and cherry finally understanding how fighting isn’t doing jack shit and they ought to stop
when i’m more awake i’ll grab my book and expand on this but im cooking here omg
anyways
ajax is steve 🧍🏾♀️
“i’m sick of running/i’ve got to f’s for yall: fuck around find out” tell me that’s not steve
fox is pony simply because they’re both the youngest. there are other better reasons but that’s the main one
idk if i want bob to be luther or just some random guy.
if i wanted to lean into history and keep it time period accurate it’d be some random guy
rembrandt might be johnny
can’t explain it but it feels right
two-bit feels like a mix between cochise and cowgirl
i also can’t explain that but alas
and idk who soda is help :(
#the brain rot i have rn is insane#i have a shit tom on hw due this wknd but trust i’ll be back next week#the outsiders#darry curtis#outsiders musical#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#steve randle#two-bit matthews#two bit mathews#dallas winston#dally winston#warriors the musical#the warriors 1979#the warriors
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In the world I love
_
In a different world
#vanitas no carte#vanoé#doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi#play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also#+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one#i have complex feelings about this anime#its pretty damn fucking good#but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to#to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start#not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall#really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start#but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty#my girl deserves better than this asshole#you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk#i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot#very yuriyaoi if you ask me#my art
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#for context. a few weeks back i was playing on a fast respawn 2fort server#mostly because i just wanted to just. hang out somewhere without any real serious gameplay happening#that said. for the first few hours i was playing on there. was mostly playing gunslinger engineer and detonator pyro#and we had a good push up into their base but were stuck just at the entrance. with a heavy hold from the enemy team#but after a while. i just kinda got bored and wanted to just fuck about with the taunts and loadouts i had#first thing i did was play pyro and do the cheers taunt before getting on my bike and swerving a bunch as i drove#but i dont think anyone could tell thats what i was doing#so after a bit i just changed to scout. and started just riding my skateboard#(i also did the drinking and riding bit a few times but i eventually just ended up skateboarding around)#(one bit being me on the top of the bridge. doing the cheers taunt. getting on my board. and then skating off the bridge and killbinding)#so at some point. i kept getting stuck in place for some reason. like speficially on bumpy ground or... in the air#and the moment i got stuck in the air (for 30+ seconds mind you) i was just like ''my quantum board technique''#and from there. i just acted as if i was playing the newest Pro Skater game#saying stuff like ''i have to do manual ollie combo for 150000000 points''#or like ''i have to find grindrails on this level''#eventually found my way into the sewers and said something like ''IVE FOUND THE HALF PIPES''#before saying like ''man they really screwed up the physics since the last game''#a soldier on the other team was trying to find me the whole time saying ''wheres tony hawk''#specifically because he had a tony hawk avatar. and i only realized after he said something about it#anyway. after all that i skateboarded into a minisentry and died#and my last message was supposed to be ''my combo has ended'' but i ended up typing 'bombo'#and it made me laugh SO hard i couldnt backspace. and added on with ''my sweet bombo''#and then i left because i had nothing more to do there. my bombo had ended and i had to move on.
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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