#and if we r gonna get into the biology of it (not that it matters its not like asoiaf canon is good at this shhshs) they are fraternal twins

[ilynpilled]

george did not write “if i were a woman id be cersei” and vice versa as correct statements imo. while i do believe that their respective trials that they faced as a result of their gender had grave effects on them as people and shaped them into much of what they are, i still think there are fundamental differences in nature. like this is demonstrated by how differently they acted as little children (treatment of tyrion, murder of melara, etc). i think they have some core distinctions. especially with what they personally desire the most above all else and their differing levels of empathy. this was no doubt influenced by their experiences and societal roles as well but i do still think it is part of their nature too. they have some very interesting and important similarities, but they are by no means the exact same only distinguished by experiences. i think it is always a mix of nature and nurturer, like your experiences can suppress or intensify certain qualities that you have, for better or worse. they have agency. they responded to their trauma in their own way. the twins not being the same person on a fundamental level is meant to be subversive. put in opposite positions i do not think we would have the exact same people just switched. like this feels like it is emphasized in the text to me

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.21.23 Tuesday

8:44 am

Still, having my coffee and my grandmother asked for a tea,our "biofit"...

I'm still in pain of having this "sciatica".... In pain of what some FilipiNOSE did to me and I wasn't happy for 16 years but thankful that John came into my life during pandemic, he made me survived those struggling days here, to the point I cut my hair short and I gained a lil... Thank God, that I was able to recover on my hair and looks though, I still feel fat and ugly...

Just this pandemic, I learned how to cook and those pandemic lockdowns made me master my some basics everyday homey kitchen life though my aim was to simply make my life productive coz it was hellish boring those days, that I had different plans from the past years...

And one more thing, I tried to really learn cooking coz I entered caregiving 2017 until 2018 and I'm now a certified caregiver and a Biology graduate as well, proudly a product of De La Salle University,batch 2004...

My upbringing was, never learn to cook but be good and learn to work or get a job... But I was expecting that I will work professionally but I was innocent and pure and my mind wasn't that open on some reality bites, during my teenage years even I reached my supposed to be my adult hood, when I turned 18...

I grew-up with my adoptive parent's, will do a recap for my new angels... They wanted me working and most specially professionally, supposed to be...

But my biological mother and my biological father as well, just recently we just bonded after I had a mind-confusion due to windblow mysteries here and somewhere... They wanted me to learn cooking and I did... I did learn how to cook due to the changes of our lifestyle and situation...

There were people who judged me coz of I wasn't cooking and some women who were trying to invade my life and asked me and asked other people closer to me why, I can't cook... Those were cheap and people who interfere on someone's life unfairly...

Each family have their own ways of raising a child and other people on the side should respect that...

But the good thing of me? Learning how to cook, in a way, I did enjoy the basics but not on professional level but I'm enjoying in a way but boredom comes in now in the kitchen coz I wanted more kinda pricey and foreign ingredients...

I just realized the value of "home" not just a "shallow house"... I wanna home where I can feel love,respect, dignity and pride....Where, I can bake on an oven or make my fruit shakes on the blender... Where I can have my capsules nepresso coffee... Wishing to have a dishwsher system but who am I gonna end up with, angels??? Kinda, pricey home...

I wonder who are those "shallow house" ,I don't wanna punch Ms Enaoj R-None for these things coz I love Mommy Adnil so much and even Ms Yoj got her own "shallow house"...

Special Note: house meaning some kind of frat house???

But I've learned some things on Mommy Adnil like I just remember our old life that we used to have a "non-stick pan" , that Mommy Adnil and Ms Enaoj got their La Germania which I'm fair on that matter... Loving their "multi-cooker"... I really appreciate their "high-ceiling house", it is funnily tiring walking several steps from the living room or from the room of Mommy Adnil or coming from the door entrance going to their main kitchen...

I really care for Mommy Adnil,I want her to live more just like the people that I love and people who care and love me in a distance and closer... I'm concern on LJ's lifestyle... A sad, loner teenager....

There was this one time, I accidentally look at the window of the room of Mommy Adnil and suddenly I asked her that who is watering the plants,around their house??? She said no one now coz the resort pool beside their house was closed during pandemic and they can't open it now due to some personal problems that they are facing... That point, I stopped questioning...

But I'm proud to have this mini-ranch-like kind of house that my adoptive parent's bought, a long time ago... Where you can have a mini-horse or mini-cows... But I was planning differently supposed to be a private-swimming pool on the part where Uncle DD bought that lot and creating their dreams or in-short their new modern-kinda upper stylish house...

Like what I said we had our downfall after college....To the point that my brother next to me, had to transfer from De La Salle to Olivarez University coz of our financial problem...

Don't you think angels,16 years of doing a trap on me in an unfair ways, is too much of me being nothing these days...???

11:31 am

I feel hurt for 16 years... A relative,perhaps is damaging my entire being and some people of R-None'z????

11:52 am

I want to have my own partner and men's friends who are willing to eat the food that I will cook but with assistant hopefully...

I want my partner to eat my food that I cook and my crew only with my partner...

If I feel like cooking then I'm gonna cook but hoping to have an assistant...

I envy Uncle DD for having his own crew, that their able to create their upper modern house, in a way...He is the actor of his crew... I envy them so much...

I need a job angels and I wanna leave the hometown...

2:15 pm

I wanna have new men's friends with sanity, maturity and stability... I'm having this windblow trap... willing to lift me up from these some cavite FilipiNOSE...

They made me feel ugly and fat... I wanna leave the hometown...

[brick-van-dyke]

Prompt 4: Alternate Universe

One Shot: A Day Like Any Other— No Matter When or How...

Viewer discretion is advised — content warnings for: school and just general stuff there since that can be a traumatic experience for a lot of people. Also trigger warnings for: emotional abuse, neglect, etc. Nothing explicit, but still to be considered.

"Wow! You scored so high!" Yoru remarked as he looked over the shoulder of his friend.

"Damn..." Taiyo bit his lip as he read his report. Another B.

"No I didn't..." Taiyo sighed. "If I want to go to the same university as my dad— to that prestigious medical school, I need to do better."

Yoru pouted. "But wouldn't that mean we get split up?"

Taiyo rolled his eyes in response. "It's not like I'm leaving to go to some other city. We both live in the same area so it's not like going to different schools will change anything." Although he didn't exactly blame the other boy for wanting that. In a perfect world, yeah, sure... It'd be nice. But they obviously have different futures planned, so there's no need to aim for the impossible, or even consider it...

"Yeah, but... still." Yoru huffed as he allowed himself to lean on his textbooks.

History, music and biology. A werid mix. Taiyo thought.

"Ah," he piped up as he thought about those subjects. "You've also been talking to that new girl, right? Didn't you say something about wanting to let her join in on our study sessions at the library or something?"

"Oh, right! Yeah! She's in both my music and our biology class. Actually, I think she sits right near you, too." Yoru explained excitedly as he thought back at the young ginger haired girl who always seemed to get high grades while seemingly never turning up to class or slacking off during it.

"Huh, I never noticed that. I guess I was too invested in the class to notice." Biology was one of his favourite subjects after all, so he even had a tendency to block out Yoru during class if he was focusing that little bit too hard. Thinking back, he found himself frowning a little at her constant ability to somehow ace everything while barely even trying. No, to be honest and more accurate... he was probably jealous of her.

"I think you two'd get along. She likes cats, too." Yoru grinned as he thought back on how Taiyo would always stop to pat any cat he could, well, granted that he thought no one was watching when he did anyway.

"R-really...? Taiyo murmured as he looked away, embarassed. "Well, I guess maybe we might have at least two things in common then."

Granted she's not cheating in biology, that is. He thought glumly.

☆☆☆

"Hey, so..." Zorya grumbled as Taiyo continued to glare at her. "How long is your friend gonna be like this?"

It had been a few days since Taiyo and Yoru had discussed meeting up with her and hanging out all together more. That being said... her method of studying seemed to get on Taiyo's nerves. More specifically, how little she'd do before going back to reading a novel instead of the textbooks she was supposed to read.

"Uh, well..." Yoru began, hoping to ease the situation, but Taiyo's irritation was at boiling point by now. He couldn't stand how someone like this was doing better than him in every subject they had together, especially in his favorites.

"I'll stop staring when I figure out how you're getting straight As when you're doing half the work of everyone else." Taiyo blurted out, not hiding his distaste for her lack of effort.

The girl narrowed her eyes as she went to open her mouth to retort. Yet, almost as soon as she did, she closed it again and sighed.

"Well, whatever. You do you and I'll do me. You can think whatever you like, but at the end of the day... you only understand what you can see on the surface." Zorya looked away, as if thinking over something— sonething else besides the two of them; distant and almost... sombre. Her eyes seemed to darken as she sat in silence, looking out of the window and towards the many houses lined behind the school.

"What are you even looking at?" Taiyo asked, or, more accurately, demanded.

Zorya only signed again, cocking her head and looking at him with a rather... strange expression, one Yoru didn't really understand.

"This is why you keep scoring lower," Zorya finally spat back as she got up from her seat, taking all of her textbooks except for biology. "You always assume you know best and never look past you're assumptions. It's stupid." The girl turned on her heal as frozen blue eyes stared back under a mess of medium length ginger hair, tied back in a half braid.

"... You're just like him." Zorya muttered something under her voice that was filled with with both bitterness and, halfway through, regret.

"W-wait, you left your—!" Yoru went to pick up the single hardcover book that laid heavily between them and her.

"Don't need it!" She called back as she stomped off, leaving that single volume; biology. The two boys could only stare in bewilderment as her footsteps grew softer and more distant with each second until there was nothing left but silence.

"What's her problem?" Taiyo grumbled, frustrated. He picked up the heavy book and stared at it, a deep crease forming upon his brow. He didn't get it. He didn't...

Oh.

The boys stoped and stared as Taiyo flipped the book open and saw something that put every puzzle piece in its place and made every single question they had make sense.

I really am an idiot...

☆☆☆

The girl walked back towards her home with a slight frown. Seriously, this wasn't like her. Normally, she would take that textbook home and her good-for-nothing butthead of a father would make her sit down and study every little thing in that book over and over until she memorized it. No matter how many times she insisted it was too hard, or that she didn't get it, or that she didn't want to. No matter how many times the pages were soaked in months worth of tears because of that old man. Then he'd call her stupid or something for not doing things absolutely perfectly and how he wanted her to do them. Five seconds after that and he'd go back to not caring about any of the actual subjects she liked or about her friends— or, okay, there lack of— or her life. She was supposed to take over his business and that was it. She didn't care. She had stopped caring... But those two? Something about that blonde, stuck up pain in the butt brat of a boy made her feel like being a bit rebellious today.

So she left it back there. That crimped tear stained, read to hell and back book that she hated so much. She couldn't wait to see his face when he realised she decided to not do what he wanted on purpose. Zorya didn't know if it was worth it and her heart skipped a beat at the thought of his fury, but she no longer cared. She just wanted to hit back for once. And maybe... tomorrow and maybe she'd actually have a friend. Or something like that, anyway.

@khoc-week

(A/N: This one was also tricky, but I was on a roll after that last prompt and it gave me some ideas. I think one thing I really wanted to bring out was how sometimes, bad things can just happen regardless of the difference in circumstances. I think life in a modern au would still be hard for some of these characters, but they would find different and new ways of healing and moving forward. Overall, I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope others also found this an interesting read at least.)

Okay, finally feeling better so it's OC Week time!

Prompt 1: Introduction.

From left to right: Zorya, Yoru and then Taiyo. These three are some of many characters in my Kingdom Hearts fic (I'll post it all on Ao3 one day I promise), but these three in particular start off this little serious I'm writing and have a vital connection to the overall main plot and themes. Each of these characters are near and deer to my heart, but I also don't want to give tooo much away (also I'm a bit lazy), so let me just to a brief introduction of these main three.

Zorya: A mysterious girl who seems to be after something; wonderful or terrible, that is yet to be seen. She's stubborn, rude and has a temper to match it, yet those who she allows to come close enough may very well find a soft and kind centre to the seemingly rough and rowdy child. Her eyes also seem to shine with a mysterious glow, though none can tell if this is merely a trick of the light or an indicator of something magical or even inhuman.

Yoru: A gentle soul whose dislike of fighting may sometimes make it hard to pick any particular side. At first, he only really wanted to find his loved ones and bring them all back home, yet, the worlds beyond his own stirs his curiosity. Shocked to discover his home had been "swallowed by darkness", Yoru joins forces with two others close to his own age in search of both answers and a way back home. All the while, he is plagued by the strangest of dreams, yet... he can never seem to recall them upon waking.

Taiyo: A researcher from a distant world. While he does pride himself in the teachings of light; a philosophy that deems light as the superior to darkness, he finds himself wishing for more. Taiyo is in search of one thing: Ansem's Reports. As to why he wants these volumes of knowledge, one could only assume it's due to his curiosity as a researcher, yet who could really say?

[strawberry--bride]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sharon’s Route [DARK 03]

Location: Ryoutei Academy ;; Library

Sharon: ...

Subaru: ...Che.

Laito: Nfu~

Sharon: ( Uu...The atmosphere’s tense... )

( How did things turn out like this again? )

( Right. It all started before we left for school this evening... )

*FLASHBACK*

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Sharon’s room

Sharon: Eh? You want me to help Subaru-kun with his studies?

Reiji: Exactly. His results during our midterm exams were outright atrocious. 

If he continues to perform so poorly, it will have a negative impact on our family’s reputation.

Sharon: I get that part but...In that case, wouldn’t you be a better tutor? From what I’ve heard, your grades are amongst some of the best of the entire school.

Reiji: While I appreciate the compliment, I highly disagree with your statement. 

I am afraid my teaching methods are simply too advanced for those idiot brothers of mine. 

Reiji: However, I am certain someone with a similar IQ such as yourself would be an ideal tutor for someone of their level.

Sharon: ( Uu...He just blatantly insulted me, didn’t he? )

Reiji: Either way, you have special permission to stay behind after classes today to spend some time in the library. 

Subaru is a freshman, so I assume you should have no problem with the subject matter.

Sharon: ...

Reiji: Your answer?

Sharon: ...U-Understood.

Reiji: Very well. Now let us get going. The limousine should have already arrived.

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

Location: Ryoutei Academy ;; Library

Sharon: ( I somehow managed to convince Subaru-kun to come to the library with me after school. )

( However, as soon as we got to our seats, Laito-kun showed up. )

( It’s almost as if he knew we would be here... )

Subaru: ...Oi.

Sharon: ...!!

Y-Yes?

Subaru: You were gonna teach me or somethin’, right? Let’s just get this crap over with so I can head home. 

Laito: Eeh~? Ichigo-chan...I didn’t know you were into teacher and student roleplay. How unexpected~

Sharon: ...? 

( R-Roleplay...? What could he be talking about? )

Sharon: Ahem. Anyway, we should probably start with your weakest subject. 

Reiji-san told me you didn’t do so well on your midterms. Was there any class in particular you struggled with?

Subaru: ...!! About that...

Laito: Ah! Right! Ichigo-chan doesn’t know the story yet!

Sharon: Eh?

Laito: You see, Subaru-kun got so frustrated after he saw the questions on the examーー 

Subaru: O-Oi, Laito! Shut the fuck up!!

Laito: ーー He ended up ripping up his answer sheet...~!

The school had never seen such a thing. He even got called into the principale’s office. Nfu~

Sharon: ...

Subaru: Laito, you bastard...!

Laito: Tsk, tsk, tsk, Subaru-kun. This is the library, remember? You have to speak quietly. 

Sharon: Ahaha...Well, putting the past aside, let’s focus on finals for now! How about we start with something light like English? 

Subaru: Che...I can’t believe I’m bein’ forced to do this bullshit. 

Sharon: ...Please?

Subaru: Ahー Fine! I just gotta do it, right? Hand me the damn textbook!

Laito: Nfu~ Hang in there, Subaru-kun!

*TIMESKIP*

Sharon: ( Awesome. Subaru-kun seems to have gotten the hang of it. While he’s working on those exercises, I should get some studying of my own done. )

She opens her notebook.

*Scribble scribble*

Laito: Ah, Ichigo-chan, watch out! You’ve made a calculation mistake here.

Sharon: Oh, you’re right. Thank you, Laito-kun.

Laito: You’re welcome~

Sharon: Actually...Where are your books? Didn’t you come here to study as well?

Laito: Eeeh~? Why would I do that? School is so dull. 

Take history class for example. Why bother learning about the past? I’d much rather live in the moment and enjoy each passing day as it comes.

Sharon: ( ...Then why did he even come to the library, I wonder? )

Laito: Ah! But I suppose this could be the ideal opportunity to get started on my biology project.

Sharon: Eh? There’s a biology project?

Laito: Nfu~ My own personal project...

He suddenly moves closer.

*Rustle*

Laito: ...on the female body~ You’ll help me out, won’t you? You’d be the perfect test subject for my case study...

*Rustle rustle*

Sharon: ...!! 

L-Laito-kun, waiーー!

( H-His hand’s running down my back...! )

*THUD*

Subaru: Laito...

Sharon: S-Subaru-kun...?

( Uh-oh...I have a bad feeling about this. )

Laito: Nfu~ I’m sorry, Subaru-kun. I would let you join our private study session, but I think this course might still be a little too advanced for you~

Subaru: This whole damn time you’ve been gettin’ on my nerves...I’ve had enough! Come here, you bastard...!!

Subaru lunges at his brother but Laito skillfully dodges.

*Thud*

Laito: Whoops~ Guess it’s time for me to leave. See you later, Ichigo-chan! I’m sure we can continue our ‘studies’ some other time~

Subaru: Fuck...! You’re not getting away...!!

Sharon: Guys, shh...!! This is the school library! Calm down!

*THUD*

Sharon: Aah...!

*CRASH*

Sharon: Watch ouー Uu...Too late.

*SHATTER*

Sharon: T-The library...

( Rather than getting called into the principal’s office, this might just get him expelled... )

ーー DARK 03: END ーー 

<- [ Dark 02 ] [ Dark 04 ] ->

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

Let’s discuss Eliksni

This current season, Season of the Splicer, has a focus on Mithrax and the House of Light and Eliksni in particular as a species. Following with the landmark alliance between Caitl’s leftover Imperial Cabal and the Vanguard, now Mithrax has founded the House of Light and reached out a hand of peace to the Last City.

To this end, he has offered his services to the Tower and the Vanguard and in return, Ikora offered the House of Light resettlement within the City limits, under the Traveler.

This is the start of how incredibly poorly thought out everyone has acted in this season.

Ikora offered shelter to the House of Light without Consensus approval - hell, without even consulting with Zavala. She invited aliens into the Last City unilaterally, which, yeah, no shit that’s going to cause friction. 

Mithrax, in the first mission, when we chat with him, Osiris and Lakshmi in the Fallen Quarter, states that he will keep his House here and away from the rest of the City. We then have quite a few lorecards from weapons and whatnot detailing Eliksni out and about, alone, in the greater City. So was that a lie, Mithrax?

I get what the angle is here. I really do.

But allegory is fucking stupid.

There is nothing remotely similar between the Fallen/Human relations in the Destiny universe and hostile relations between nations or peoples on Earth IRL.

I think it’s all too easy for a reader to forget that Eliksni are alien. No matter how different a person’s culture might be on Earth, they are still human. They are still exactly the same as anyone else. You can look at them and see yourself. Their internal existence is, at least if you’re not going full solipsist, the same as your own. And you can bet on that because they’re human. We all grew up on the same planet. We all ate the same things, shat under the same stars, watched the same moon come up at night. It doesn’t matter from which corner of the globe you’re from or the divergence of phenotype, we’re all still human, closer than close. 

Eliksni (and Cabal, and Hive, etc) are alien. They are fundamentally different in a way that two cultural groups on Earth can never, ever be. Their brain chemistry is nowhere remotely comparable, assuming they even have brains in the way we’d describe it. There is no way to bridge the species gap about internal lives and existence - they are intrinsically other. They share none of the same, most  fundamental experiences of being that humans do, just as we do not for them. 

This isn’t to say that an alien can’t be empathized with or treated fairly, what I’m saying is that you cannot, in any way, compare an alien to a human, especially in how a person would relate or react to them.

Take a horrible war on Earth. From any time period. You’re going to have belligerents on both sides, deep-seated dislike and hatred of each other. But these things can pass and there are always, always those who are against it on either side. And they fade away. The scars can remain, at times, but these differences are driven by cultural rivalries and those cultures can fade away or move together. And over time can be lost in the collective visage of humanity, which does not bear a brand on it’s sleeve of ancient allegiance to one or another.

Do you know what cannot ever change? Biology. An alien will always be alien, no matter how close you associate with them or how long. There will always be a deep, fundamental disconnect in some major areas that cannot be crossed because you cannot be them and they cannot be you. 

And this is fine - a human should be human and an eliksni should be eliksni, or insert whatever favorite alien you have there. 

What gets me, though, is when writers treat ‘race’ and ‘species’ as interchangeable. It’s why I tend to take issue with using ‘race’ when referring to fantasy species, especially when there is no interbreeding possible. Dwarves and elves can get a little loosy-goosy there. 

You have these lorecards about Eliksni getting hate crime’d by the human population in the Last City or being shunned or prejudiced against and the r/dtg subreddit is all up in arms about the evil civilians and it’s like look - they’re aliens.

The fuck else did you expect?

This isn’t a case of accepting some human refugees in, this is a group of aliens that for seven hundred years have been the bogeyman for very real and very literal reasons. 

Humans have positive experiences with other humans all throughout life.

Humanity has not had a single positive experience with aliens since we learned alien life exists. I’m excluding the Traveler here, frankly, because it’s a cosmic god. 

For the seven hundred or so years that alien life has been a reality for the human race, they have been devoured, hunted to extinction, brutally sacrificed, used as torture fodder, used to feed eldritch gods and other, lovely, lovely things. 

Is it any surprise that the first time alien faces are seen in the Last City it’s met with hostility? There are zero positive experiences with aliens for all of humanity. The only ones who have had some are Guardians. The face of an alien means death or worse. The face of a human can mean that but again - we know so many humans in our lives, of all stripes. Here though, an alien, any alien, any face that is not comfortably human, means death. Something that the entire population of the Last City was very forcibly and violently reminded of just recently with Ghaul’s invasion and the subsequent slaughters that happened. Did we forget the citizens thrown to the warbeasts to be devoured?

The eliksni of House Light don’t deserve the hostility, of course. But it’s not surprising and really, it’s not the fault of the civilians. The fault is squarely on the shoulders of Ikora for deciding this incredibly poorly thought out move unilaterally and Mithrax for not recognizing that this was going to happen.

Because it goes both ways. Fallen haven’t had a single positive experience with aliens in all their existence, either, remember. For them, any alien, including humans, meant death. The thing with Saint-14 being a demon? Excellent! Perfect in showcasing this dynamic! But the stupidity is in recognizing this and then just going ‘lmao nah just give them free range in the Tower which is infested with Guardians, which they’re going to be terrified of.’ This is the purest of idiocy, a complete failure of leadership on all sides and is really quite insensitive to the needs of both species. 

So is the solution permanent segregation of species? No, but it’s definitely not just letting Fallen wander at whim and go to fucking ramen shops. This is seven hundred years of human-side bias and god-knows how long for eliksni to overcome. 

Aliens aren’t human. It bothers me when they’re treated that way because it’s lazy. This is a unique and fascinating angle in a story, one that is uniquely science fiction. Treating it as just a clumsy allegory for human relations is a waste of text (and also, ironically, a bit insulting to what the allegory is about. Unless you’re cool with implying that some people are as inhuman and inscrutable as literal bug aliens which is a yikes from me, dawg).

Maybe the salient point that Bungie is trying to make this season is that Ikora and Mithrax are complete knobheads and worthless leaders, but I’m gonna hazard that’s not the case.

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[pearlsephoni]

The Trial of Shoyo Hinata’s Rising Heartrate, Evidence One: The Hike

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: G

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Hinata/Kageyama)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Daichi Sawamura

Word Count: 1,853

Summary: Shoyo Hinata's feelings for Tobio Kageyama are perfectly normal. There's nothing weird about him only caring about Kageyama's compliments, high-fives, and smiles. And there's definitely nothing weird about him blushing when he finally gets any of them. ...Right?

A/N: The first chapter of my first multi-chapter fic, in honor of Hinata’s birthday! Happy birthday to our sweet little sun! :’) Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

Sawamura was going to kill them. 

Not that anyone on the team would be surprised. This wasn’t the first time that Hinata and Kageyama had sped past the end of the training path, only stopping when their legs gave out. But as they laid side by side on the grass by the road, Hinata had the sinking realization that this was the first time he couldn’t seem to get his legs back under him. He could hear Kageyama shifting to sit up next to him, but all he could do was continue staring into the sun. 

“Oi, Hinata. We should head back.” 

“R-right. Yeah.” 

He could hear more shifting, then a shadow fell over him as a towering figure blocked out the sun. “Hey dumbass, did you hear me? We gotta get back.” 

“Don’t call me dumbass, dumbass. I heard you!” 

“Then why aren’t you moving?!” 

“Just give me a minute!” Hinata’s arms shook, but somehow he was able to push himself in a seated position. A good start. Now he just had to stand up. Easy. Simple. Except… “Uh...Kageyama?” 

“What?” 

“...I can’t move.” He flinched under the look of disbelief Kageyama pinned on him. 

“What are you, 80? Just stand up.” 

“I’m trying! Stop yelling at me and give me a hand.” 

“Unbelievable…” 

Truth be told, Hinata didn’t expect Kageyama to actually hold out a hand. He was focused on trying to push himself to his feet, and nearly ran into the hand that was suddenly in front of his face. For an embarrassing moment, all he could do was blink in confusion at the calloused fingers. 

“...Do you need help, or not?” 

“Y-yeah...yeah, just-” They were both frowning as Hinata took Kageyama’s hand and let him pull him to his feet...only for Hinata’s legs to give out under him, forcing him back to the ground. And this time, he brought Kageyama with him. 

The fall felt like it happened in slow motion. Hinata could hear the air whistling past his ears as he fell, and he could see the horror dawning on Kageyama’s face as their bodies collided. Then Hinata’s back smacked into the grass, the impact pushing all the air out of him in a single grunt. 

For a moment, his brain was really, truly empty of thought. He was only aware of the dull ache in his back joining the numbness of his legs, the weight of Kageyama on him, and the blinding light of the sun beating down on them both. 

It was a nice moment. Fitting for the calm before the storm that came with Kageyama finally processing what had happened.

“The hell is wrong with you?! Did you break your legs or your brain?” 

Hinata couldn’t say anything until Kageyama scrambled off of him and he could take a proper breath of air, and even then, talking seemed to take too much out of him. “I said...couldn’t move…” was all he could choke out as he struggled to sit back up. 

His eyes met Kageyama’s once he sat up, and in his dazed exhaustion, he couldn’t seem to look away. He just...stared, silently taking in those blue eyes and pink cheeks, unaware of what he was doing until he felt a hand gently smacking his cheek. Or at least, as gently as Kageyama could manage. “Hey. Are you seriously not ok? You don’t look too good.” 

Hinata’s answer came in the form of his head falling to Kageyama’s chest, sweaty bangs sticking to Kageyama’s equally-sweaty shirt. He could feel Kageyama go completely still under his forehead, and he wondered if he was letting him stay like that out of kindness, or if shock was just making him freeze up again. 

Another silent moment passed before Kageyama spoke up, his voice sounding a bit strained. “Move.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Just...sit up, idiot. Get off me.” Again, Hinata didn’t expect him to help, didn’t expect his hands on his shoulders shifting him back into a normal, seated position. And again, he couldn’t do much more than watch Kageyama, though this time he couldn’t help wondering at the darkening blush that was still on his cheeks. Was his head really so heavy that the effort of holding it up made Kageyama flush? Does that mean my brain is big? Should I tell him that? Maybe then he’ll stop calling me dumba- 

“Alright, get on.” 

“Huh?” Hinata was snapped out of his wandering thoughts, and found himself staring at Kageyama crouched in front of him, with his back facing him. 

“We’re never gonna make it back down with your weak legs giving out every two steps. And the Captain's already gonna kick our asses for taking so long. So...get on.” 

“Okay…” Even if he hadn’t been weak from exhaustion, Hinata would’ve been awkward trying to drape his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders and settle himself against his back. As it was, he had to let himself be manhandled a bit until Kageyama was satisfied he was secure enough. 

Finally, he slowly got to his feet, jostling Hinata and making him cling closer. “God...how is someone so small so freaking heavy?” 

“Shut up,” Hinata mumbled, his words missing their usual bite. He was suddenly, deeply aware of Kageyama’s muscles flexing under him, his hands gripping his legs, and the smell of his sweat filling his nose. Hinata always knew the setter was strong - he had to be, for the way he ran across the court and set the perfect shots - but he’d never...felt his strength before. And he’d never thought he would like the feeling of Kageyama’s muscles working around and beneath him. 

But he did. He really, really liked it, and he couldn’t help pressing a little closer, letting his chest rest against Kageyama’s back and his chin rest on his shoulder, despite how sweaty they both were. Red hair mingled with black as a breeze blew by them, cooling Hinata’s sweat and rustling the leaves in a gentle hum, like a soft lullaby that encouraged his eyelids to grow heavier...and heavier…

“Hey. You better not be asleep.” 

Hinata’s head jerked up at the sound of Kageyama’s voice, which sounded strangely hoarse again. “Huh?” 

“If you’re sleeping while I’m busting my ass getting you back, I swear to god…” 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” 

Kageyama fell quiet at his response, and Hinata knew why. Between his exhaustion and his confusing realization, he didn’t have it in him to rise to Kageyama’s taunts and nags. Still, he didn’t think the setter would care. If anything, he thought his quiet mood would welcome more bullying from Kageyama, especially when he was doing such a huge favor in carrying Hinata back. 

Hinata certainly didn’t expect to hear, “Maybe we should skip the rest of practice.” 

“What?!” 

“You can’t even walk, and I dunno if I’ll be able to either, after hauling your sorry ass back. Maybe...maybe I should take you to the school nurse, or get Coach to drive you a doctor.” 

“Are you kidding me? I’m just...I’m just a little tired, I’ll be fine if I just sit out for a set.” 

“Like hell you will be!” Kageyama’s head turned to shoot a sideways glare, the movement nearly making Hinata’s nose brush his cheek before the redhead jerked back. “Think about it, you idiot. Your body is already overworked. If you keep trying to push it today, then it’ll force you to sit out for a lot more than one practice. Just give it a rest.” 

Hinata scowled, but no matter how much he racked his brains for anything he could remember from biology class, he knew Kageyama was right. Pushing himself anymore that day was a recipe for disaster. Still, he hated admitting that Kageyama was right. All he could muster as his chin fell back onto his shoulder was a mumbled, “Didn’t think you’d care so much.” 

“Of course I care. You’re one half of our freak quick attack. Without you, I’m just…” 

“...the genius first-year setter? Who can set perfectly for any player? Who stole the starting setter position from a third year?” 

“Quit complimenting me, it’s freaking me out.” Kageyama tried to turn his face away from the shoulder Hinata’s head was resting on, but he couldn’t hide his bright red flush and pleased grin, which only broadened at Hinata’s triumphant laugh. 

“Awwww, am I making you shy?” Hinata crowed, tightening his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders and pressing their cheeks together. “Lil old me is making you shy?” 

“Would you shut up? Sit still, or I’m gonna leave your ass here.” 

Hinata obeyed, but for the rest of the ride, his energy seemed to have returned just enough for his smile to be back on his face and his words to make Kageyama’s lips twitch with suppressed grins despite his furrowed brows. 

By the time they were back at the school, Hinata was able to walk on his own legs back to the gym, which let him avoid the worst of Sawamura’s lecture. He and Kageyama still dodged the captain’s dark gaze that seemed to spark with anger as he lectured them. 

“Are you two for real? We only have a few weeks until the inter-high qualifiers, and you two are getting so caught up in your little personal competitions that you can’t even take practice seriously?” 

“No, Captain.” 

“Really? Because it sure does feel that way. If this happens again, then we might have to give your starting positions to someone who can actually come to practice and get their work done. Understand?” 

Their eyes jerked up from the floor, indignant frowns etched across their faces, only to wither under Sawamura’s stern eyes. “…Yes, Captain.” 

“Good. Hinata, you sit out of the spiking drills and get some electrolytes in you. Kageyama, are you feeling alright? Do you need some more time?” 

“No, I’m good.” 

Sawamura stared at them for an extra second before nodding and turning away, though he couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. As soon as he walked away, Kageyama shot Hinata a smug grin. “Enjoy the show, scrub.” 

“Shut up! I’ll be back out there and hitting your tosses in no time!” Hinata snapped, his frown deepening when Kageyama kept grinning at him. 

“Good.” And with that, Kageyama was joining the rest of the team on the court, leaving Hinata squatting on the sidelines with a flush on his cheeks and confusion lining his brows. The setter was being a jerk as always, so why did Hinata feel so relieved at the thought that he specifically wanted to run drills with him? And why did that thought make his indignation melt into something more like bashfulness? And why were his cheeks so warm? 

It must’ve been his dehydration. He was just tired and needed to refuel himself. That was it. Hinata gave himself a resolute nod, satisfied with his clear skills in deduction, and didn’t spare another thought for his strange feelings for the rest of the day. 

He had no idea what he was in for.

[transsexualhamlet]

the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on. 

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs 

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age. 

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths” fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here. 

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki. 

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things. 

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y  s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending. 

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[sorry-but-we-have-moved]

🌟✨𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓰 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽✨🌟

Hi and welcome! I’m Lillian, and this is my main blog. I used to run @j00nkr4t before it was flagged for sensitive media (i protested the NSFW ban). Since my older blog represents a time when i was much more bigoted, and i’ve grown as a person, i opted for a fresh start. With that out of the way...

🛑 D O  N O T  I N T E R A C T with me if you are: 🛑

Under 18

MAP/Pear/pedophile

MAGA/Trump supporter

Anti-BLM

LGBTQIA+ exclusionist

Aphobic

Terf/Truscum/Transmed/Transphobic

Pro-life

Fatphobic

Pro-Blue Lives Matter

Panphobic

Proana/thinspo/meanspo

LGB/Trans-exclusionist/THAT kind of radfem

Enbyphobic/Non binary exclusionist

Pro Autism Speaks

Ableist

Anti MOGAI

Some stuff about me (I’ll try and update this as regularly as possible. Bigger sections separate blog info from personal info):

⚪ Anon? ⚪

I never go on anon to be honest. I’m gonna say what i say and show that it’s me saying it. However, i allow anon asks, so if you’re a little shy or whatever go ahead!

🎂 Birthday 🎂

March 11, 1996.

🐱 Cats or dogs? 🐶

😻 Cats! I love dogs too (Huskies especially!), but i’m a certified crazy cat lady. Currently caring for a calico, her name is Fornia. Like California. (’cause we live here)

🟪 Discord/Twitch 🟢

🄰🄽-🄸🄶🄼🄰 #2173

In addition i run a couple discord servers, Memescene and ArticleArchive.

ArticleArchive: https://discord.gg/z6jtvhKQRA - For educational purposes. We archive images and articles from Wikipedia, Wikimedia, and other sources to compile free information for people in studies. - Subjects like LGBT+, biology, topography, world cuisine and more are discussed and archived! 13+ MemeScene: https://discord.gg/nY4EpSe - Purely for sharing, creating and consuming meme media. Was started on April Fool’s day 2019 and has gained a small following! 13+ MyMOGAI: https://discord.gg/Y54C3Pae25 - I’ve recently started a new blog, @my-mogai​, which aims to represent little-known or little-supported branches of the LGBTQIA+ community, while also giving fandoms a boost of inclusiveness. 18+

https://www.twitch.tv/zourcherri

🎬 Favorite Film Genres? 🎬

Horror, Animation, Sci-Fi, Paranormal and some Romance and Comedy. Oh, and be sure to recommend me any good Musicals you find as well!

👾 Favorite Games? 👾

Terraria Final Fantasy 12 Borderlands 2/PreSequel Team Fortress 2 Nier: Automata Kingdom Hearts 1 SimCity

🐾 Furry? 🐾

🐾 Furry, 100%! (And it doesn’t mean i want to do anything inherently s*xual or gross. It just means i really like anthro character designs!) I have alot of furry OCs as well, which i’ll eventually get around to introducing.

🎮 Game Fandoms? 🎮

Borderlands, Animal Crossing, Kingdom Hearts, Nier, Final Fantasy, Gex, Monster Hunter, Terraria, Halo, Crash Bandicoot, Driver, Telltale, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Rhythm Heaven, Ace Attorney, Gosh there’s alot of ‘em to name here. I also love to discuss game lore, so feel free to send asks or DMs related to that stuff!

Hobbies

🎨 Art - Some traditional, but mostly digital and 3D. - I now have two side blogs i use, specially made for posting artwork and sharing other’s art. (l3m0n-l4dy, strawberry-scented-psx-logo) 🍴 Cooking - Started small, but now i have over 50+ original recipes. I’ll share one every now and then. - I’ll also share cooking tips and hacks. 🔊 Micspam - Be careful if you use Discord servers like Fortnite, Rainbow Six Siege, Valorant, PUBG/PUBG Mobile or Black Ops; i frequent these. I’ll post compilations of my micspam escapades from time to time. - I’ve also recently begun doing audio mashups and edits. 📷 Photography - I take out a digital camera sometimes to snap a pic of something outside i find neat, film some clouds, or take photos of animals. 📄 Writing - Another hobby i’m insecure about. I have a ton of drafts i add onto and add onto, but hardly ever share with anyone. Hopefully soon, i will. - I recently started an AO3 account, so this is picking up some steam at least.

📝 Nicknames? 📝

I’ve decided to start going by Cherri/Anigma.

But you can also call me Crystal, Krystal, or cry/krystie.

💞 My Besties 💞

Let me know if you want added to/removed from this list!

@kamkairo @handsome-jackoff @silverdashipper @angiethewitch @rust-4-life @gofficangel @of-faunsandyellowflowers @moniiirose @redback-phoenix-the-raptor @ginger-the-espeon​ @handsome-jackoff​ @michellespenscratchz​ @trans-bloblobber​

💌 My Favorite Blogs! 💌

Let me know if you want added to/removed from this list!

@snowysaur @dp2282 @fairy-space @shitposts-from-the-borderlands​ @politijohn @p4radox99 @cort3d​ @handsomepeacock​ @mens-rights-activia​ @sleepypotatostudio​ @captainshivers​ @holographicai​ @bastardfrog27​ @97tysons-trans-rat-emporium​ @fairy-space​ @mspareader​ @yinx1​ @thecutestdinosaur​

💕 Partner 💕

@p0rtalmadness is everything to me. I feel what a puppy feels when their human comes home to them with you. Love you, want you, need you. All the way.

We’re an open relationship, but we normally don’t bring it up until both sides are comfortable!

🕚 Queue 🕚

I didn’t use the queue that much until recently. It works, but i have to fight the queue menu sometimes to get it to work properly lol. Expect some posts and reblogs to be automatically posted from 3 - 7 AM, or 1 - 9 PM. There may be a few odd-hour posts here and there.

Sexuality

Pan all the way!

Side Blogs:

@strawberry-scented-psx-logo​ (Stims) @lime-psx-logo​ (Games) @l3m0n-l4dy​ (Fandoms)

...In closing...

Content posted is highly inconsistent, and a majority is just reblogs. In order to navigate my original works, use my URLs as tags.

Right now, i don’t have submissions enabled (on strawberry i do, just not this blog). I just don’t see what COULD be submitted as content. But, if i figure out something in the future, then you’ll see the option appear on my blog.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Hm... consider: Neurodivergent Maia. (Maiaphael neurodivergent solidarity. Also Magnus & Maia neurodivergent solidarity. I love this)

ok im sorry it took me this long to answer this, but, autistic maia? autistic maia!

makes sense too, like, ambiance is something that matters to her (“no one will want to join the pack if there are blotches on the wall” - clearly things regarding visual stimuli matter to her/bother her a lot, and at this point everyone already knows better than to argue with her), very one-tracked mind once she sets a goal (she basically won’t rest until she gets what she wants and she will do everything herself if needed be. like painting taki’s and the jade wolf entirely on her own, or the way she chased jace to the deepest realms of hell when she set her mind on killing him. same with clary, same with the way she was always after luke trying to convince him to take the right decision, same with the way she basically ran hunter’s moon entirely on her own lol), unwavering loyalty and very dead-set routine that she’s not letting go (for how many years has she been doing exactly the same job? and she clearly likes it. also worth noting that for a bar hunter’s moon really doesn’t have a lot of visual stimuli - no super loud noises, no extreme lightning... but anyway - even when she changes hunter’s moon to taki’s it’s still the same idea. when she decides to reform jade wolf, she is basically keeping everything the same way... she likes routine and doing the same things that she’s used to doing), oh god maybe the way she seems to particularly struggle with controlling her wolf/transformation is related to that, too... i mean of course there’s the part about her trauma which i have already talked about, but it also makes sense for maia to be autistic and thus struggle to keep perfect control of her body at all times, especially under stress, and that makes it harder for her to hold back or transform on purpose. also the fact that she snaps and twists so much! like, paired up with her trauma, it means that whenever she transforms into a wolf, she goes into great emotional distress, even if she wants it, and so it’s like.. that thing when your body seems to go out of your control and it snaps and twists and you’re like fighting it? you know what i mean? to be fair i’ve seen this more in my schzophrenic students but it’s a shared possible trait 

this paragraph is too long already but there’s more! maybe she initially chose bartending as a job because of the repetitive and easy motions. she is always playing with her shaker when she isn’t working so that makes sense. shit no more shaking??? no problem throw the shaker in the air wehoo again and again. most socially acceptable way of stimming she has i suppose, great to let go of pent up energy (and like boy does she need that with all the shit going down all the time). i’m gonna go back to loyalty for just a second and bring up “it took me so long to let go of you!” like even as jordan had abused her and hurt her a part of her was still obviously attached to him and that is a very autistic trait, you know? being helplessly attached to the same people even as they hurt you and you don’t understand why. and she struggled so hard to get rid of him and aaaa i’m pain

also, marine biology being her special interest.... my god i was such an idiot and a fool of course maia is autistic how could i have been so blind to the truth

also i’m pretty sure we’ve seen her go nonverbal a few times as therewere a few scenes where every word she was saying was clearly tiring her out and she was just exhausted afterwards, and... yeah

also thinking about how that pairs up with her claustrophobia like the way closed spaces make her feel hyperaware of everything and helpless to the stimuli so it amplifies her sensorial issues as well, so it’s the most horrible hypersensitivity + claustrophobia feedback loop. also thinking about how it is implied in many scenes that when she becomes overwhelmed she turns (like when luke locked her up and triggered her claustrophobia... haha man don’t we love it) so maybe like, before she was Turned, what used to happen were meltdowns? and now with the lycantrophy having meltdowns means being basically unable to control her wolf and so she ends up turning, and the distressed wolf also scratches and flaps around and howls and destroys everything.... i’m pain oh my god

also if visual stimuli are the most prone to giving her sensorial overload the wolf turning also makes sense since wolves see less color and so it’s one of the way her body now finds to try and tone down the overload

okay okay no more angst hopefully have a few cute maiaphael headcanons

can i just say... raphael’s voice. a bitch has an obsession okay the way he talks is just so... it sounds so velvety and smooth and his voice has that low tone and it’s just... entrancing and maia can listen to it for hours, which is funny because raphael isn’t usually much of a talker. but sometimes she will ask him things, especially regarding his special interests (like astronomy) or just stories, and lie on his lap, and he will pet her hair and tell her with that low, steady cadence that he speaks with, and it just feels perfect? like not only is it beautiful but it’s also steady/predictable and that makes it soothing and she is in absolute heaven when they do this

special interests sharing.... i love it okay. maia and raphael babbling about marine biology and astronomy respectively, and they both love hearing the other talk about it because they get it, they get how sharing your special interests is sharing love and baring your soul and even if they don’t share these interests they are genuinely delighted to soak up everything the other has to say about it. especially because their passion about the subject always makes it sound interesting!!!!

they get some see-through curtains for taki’s and her place to balance her need for less bright environments (hey ever noticed how she always makes it a point to make sure the places she’s frequently in have binded curtains and they’re always half-open when she’s there?) and raphael’s need for S U N  A N D  W A R M T H at all times. they are communication kings so they talk about it and try to find a solution that fits them both

it’s a great talk too because raphael also understands sensorial issues, and they are both highly empathetic, so like. she feels comfortable to tell him about how she needs a less bright environment without being defensive about it like she usually would (for good reason! because people are frequently assholes and she’s used to having to defend herself. but with raphael she knows she doesn’t have to, wouldn’t have to even if he weren’t autistic because he cares about her) 

also the fact that they are both autistic also tones up their communication kings shit up to one thousand, absolute icons. they both make it a point to always try to communicate what they need and be as clear as possible about it. neither has any interest in skirting around subjects or playing games (maia especially. raphael kinda had to learn how to do it because he worked for fucking camille for decades but that doesn’t mean he likes it. and even then that was never his approach, like, when he tried to kill clary he was all like “i am going to kill you now. i promise it will be painless. it’s just a practical decision”). although it also means that when they put their minds on the fact that something is Their Problem and they shouldn’t share it, it also takes a lot of work for the other to get them to talk... good thing they are both so stubborn lol

neither of them has to worry about making sure the other understands what the fuck they’re talking about, you know... because they know that the other isn’t looking for a thousand hidden meanings in their words, and also that, if they don’t get it, they will ask

basically, autistic maiaphael solidarity forever. god i love this. this is brilliant. thank you so much

[markcaramel]

fuckboy P.1 [m/a/f]

fuckboy!mark being a pain in your ass and trying to get you to fuck him.

GENRE: Smut, light angst and fluff.

MEMBER: Mark Lee (and some other members but this fic is about Mark so)

WORDS: 1.4k

MATERIAL: Since this is only the first part, it’s a little suggestive.

WARNINGS: Mature content, do not interact with this account unless you’re above the age of 18.

*AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was originally a one-parter, but I decided to split it so the ideas won’t get messy or anything.

♡ Mark Lee. A troublemaker you’ve had to deal with since elementary school. Ever since you graduated to highschool. He’s just been a plain fuckboy. Always getting into random girls’ pants, then acting like it never happened. He’s always tried to fuck you, but you wouldn’t budge. Some blondies that hangout by your locker are super jealous of the way he looks at you when you pass by eachother in the hallway and always give you dirty looks for it and talk bad about you, but you couldn’t care less. No one in the school knew why you always reject him, not even your bestfriends. After all, you knew that if you fuck him once, you’ll just end up like all the heartbroken girls he once hit and quit then forgot. ♡

♡ You woke up by the unthrilling sound of your buzzing alarm, slapping it with your palm to get rid of the annoying noise. It was Monday, which wasn’t very thrilling either. You got up, and did your little morning arm stretch, cracking your bones in the process. You quickly got ready to go to school, kissed your mom on the cheek and left. While eating your sandwich on the sidewalk, you see Mark on the opposing sidewalk with a phone in his hands and a bag lazily hung on one shoulder (just like you), not paying attention to anyone walking infront of him. You giggled softly when he accidentally ran into a brunette teenager, but then rolled your eyes when he winked at her. Will he ever stop? No. Would he ever stop? Obviously no. The brunette dropped the eye contact acting all flustered and quickly made her way to wherever she was heading. ♡

♡ You then moved your gaze to the sidewalk concrete floor getting lost in your thoughts when you suddenly feel someone walking next to you. “Hey Y/N.” You heard a familiar voice speak. “What do you want Mark?” you sighed. “Good morning to you too.” He semi-mumbled. “Is it so wrong that I’m trying to have a conversation?” Saying it in the most dramatic way ever. “Go start a conversation with something else, maybe a wall for starters.” You said while smiling at his stupid overreactive reaction. “Sorry I’m trying to be nice.” He said in a high-pitched tone which made you giggle, sighing right after, but of course Mark’s dirty mind heard it in a dirty way. You suddenly saw a tent build up in his pants which surprised you a lot but also didn’t surprise you because come on, it’s M A R K. “MARK!” You kind of yelled while pushing him. “WhaAat?” He yelled back. You looked at his lower body then at his eyes, then he got it. “Ooohhh, Sorry I can’t control my genitals and how they feel!” He said sarcastically. “I can’t believe you, walk alone.” you said in a slight funny and surprised tone. “You really think I’m going away that fast? Heh, you expect too much.” He admit. It was true, I mean, this is Mark Lee we’re talking about. ♡

♡ As soon as you reached the door, a blondie came running to Mark. “Hey Mark! My parents are going on a vacation, and I’m gonna be home alone for a month! Unless you wanna come over..” she said while winking. You literally gagged internally and walked away searching for your friends. The sun’s blinding rays forced you to squint your eyes and raise your eyebrows in attempt to open them and search more clearly. You continue to look around wondering where they sat this time, until you feel a hand poking your shoulder, you could’ve sworn your heart was about to come out of your mouth. “Why the hell is everyone sneaking up on me today?” you whine while facing the person who poked your shoulder. “Oh hey, Johnny!” your face lighted up at the sight of your bestfriend. “Hey! So I really need to head to class but I just came to tell you that if Mark tells you to follow him during lunchtime, don’t. Just don’t. It’s better if I don’t tell you why so you don’t murder him.” He said while giving you a smile as a goodbye. You needed a moment to process his words because he was talking as fast as the speed of light. ♡

♡ 2 periods later, while preparing your art supplies for the next class, you were very confused about the thing Johnny told you earlier. What could Mark possibly want? You thought Johnny and Mark were luring you into a prank or trap or something. He can’t just suddenly pop out of nowhere and tell you this, it just seems sketchy to you. You were knocked out of your thinking by your friend telling you that class started 2 minutes ago while you were zoned out. You let out a short chuckle and walked over to your classroom, you were fairly nervous because right after this class was lunchtime, you made yourself a plan just incase they were trolling you. “Hey uh, can we sit somewhere else during lunchtime? Like under that big tree outside or something.” You persuaded your bestfriend. “Sure, but why?” she asked, puzzled. “Oh, I don’t know, I just wanted us to have fresh oxygen while eating instead of smelling ramen and chicken while I’m eating.” you tried to sound as honest as possible so she won’t catch on. “Alright then.” she said while giggling. Fast forward to lunchtime, you felt like exploding from the amount of nervousness you were feeling, it was literally nauseating. You made your way outside hoping not to bump in Mark or Johnny, or any of their friends. The thought made you shiver. You felt relief as soon as you walked through the school doors and continued to walk to the big ass tree on the field. You sat down and let out a sigh of joy. “Wow Y/N, this place might become our official lunchtime area.” your friend admitted. You giggled in response, opening your container of salad and lemon. ♡

♡ Mark walked into the lunchroom in a confident way for what he was about to do. “You really think your master plan would work?” Jaehyun asked. “Of course it will, Jaehyun, don’t be ridiculous.” Mark answered. “As if any plan you have ever made worked, genius.” Renjun scoffed. They all sat down in anticipation, waiting for you to walk in. “I’m gonna be right back.” Mark got up and speedily walked out of the lunchroom. “Where did he go? I thought he’s was gonna use his master plan on Y/N.” Johnny said, quite confused. “You think he backed down?” Yuta asked. “Come on, you know Mark, he’d never back down, no matter what especially when it comes to her.” Jaehyun said pointing at you through the window. “So that’s where she’s been this whole time and you haven’t said a word?” Renjun said, afraid of Mark’s reaction to Jaehyun’s nonsense. “Calm down, I literally just spotted her.” Jaehyun explained, defending himself. ♡

Mark came back into the lunchroom but didn’t make it pass the door. “Yuta come quickly!” He yelled loud enough for his friends to hear him. Yuta rushed off his chair and quickly followed Mark outside. “See Y/N?” Mark pointed at you, pausing for a moment to admire how the sunlight between the spaces of the leaves illuminated your pretty face. “I need you to go to her and tell her this-“ Mark cut himself off and whispered to Yuta the rest so no one would hear them. “Got it?” Mark asked, unsure if Yuta even heard anything. “Yes, yes I got it.” The boy said, very excited. Yuta walked over to you, hands in pockets. “Y/N, Mark says he really can’t understand this stupid Biology formula and he really needs your help at the library.” Yuta said. “Oh really?” you narrowed your eyes at him. “Well then, tell him to find some other person who’s willing to teach his stupid ass.” You replied, quite proud at your response. “But everyone he asked turned him down.” Yuta tried reasoning with you. “So did I.” You took another spoonful of your salad in hope of him leaving you alone. “It’s really important Y/N, Mr. Saltzman (tvd character lol) is giving him another chance of making his grades better!” Yuta said, very very desperately. “What do I get out of this?” you asked, giving up, knowing he won’t go away until you’ve agreed. “I have no clue, ask him.. and was that a yes??” Yuta bent over so you were face to face. “Fine.. I’ll do it.” You said, completely ignoring Johnny’s warning. ♡

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You

So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing.  I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic)  But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.

It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂

So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂

EPISODE SUMMARY:

ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020. 

DETAILS:

Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10.  So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.

Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."

"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.

"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."

Rosa's art. 

What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".

Rosa on her dreams

"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."

"How long has that been happening?"

"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."

"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"

"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."

"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."

"Liz, look. The handprint is changing.  It's smaller."

"It's fading."

"Tell me this is a good thing."

"I don't think so."

Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:

"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."

"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"

"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."

"Okay, well, then, this one did."

"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"

"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."

"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."

"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."

"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."

"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."

"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."

"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."

Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken.  In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.

Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".

Monitor screen in the secret lab:

Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks

"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."

As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.

Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:

Starting fights with jocks

Broke into the drugstore

Not going to UNM

Hasn't hung out with Max all summer

Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later) 

Became a walking bar fight

Was in jail when Alex left to enlist

Michael on Max in 2008:

"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."

Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).

"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."

Max's mindscape:

First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)

Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands

Rosa describes it as broken

Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".

The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment. 

The juke box is there

The Crashdown booths

Jeep

Neon Crashdown sign

One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.

The yearbook

Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.

The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:

"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."

"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?". 

👀 Tonight, specifically. 

Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him.  Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).

"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."

Max and Isobel in the mindscape:

"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you.  Everything felt…"

"Cold. I know."

"You can't be here. It's finally ending.  I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."

"So it's true? You want this?"

"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."

"I can't take it anymore."

"Okay."

"I am so sorry."

"I just want to memorize this."

"Okay. Okay.  I need you to tell Liz something."

"You can tell her yourself.  She and Kyle are prepping for surgery.  They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."

"No. No."

"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."

"No you have to stop this.  You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."

"Max? What is really going on?"

"I am dangerous.  Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."

Maria on her mom's computer 

"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."

The 21st birthday flashback

Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila.  He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.

Max's weird drunken statement.

"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end.  I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out.  You'll find your way back."

👀 Until the very end. Interesting.

On Max becoming a deputy:

"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."

Back in the mindscape:

"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."

"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."

"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."

"Okay. I love you."

"You too." Isobel disappears.

Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback

We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know.  Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.

"I'm sorry this is happening."

"Isobel is lying. She is buying time.  You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."

"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."

"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go.  Please, Rosa. Go."

Isobel explaining to Liz

"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."

"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."

"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."

"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."

"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."

In case you missed it, Michael did not know that.  At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael.  Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".

The pacemaker:

Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.

“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”

Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"

Max is in the coma for three weeks.  Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously.  I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.

"I begged you to understand."

"Max, it's gonna be fine."

"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."

"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy.  We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."

"I can't let you do that."

Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers.  Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.

"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."

MUSIC:

1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"

2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"

3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"

4. James Talley "Big Thunder"

8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"

5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"

6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"

7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- What chapter is this

help

“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).  Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and  eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[discountriku]

I’m just going to take a stab in the dark and offer my thoughts on the whole SF/PV conundrum, because I feel like I was missing something obvious. Or rather, I was overthinking something that most likely has a simpler answer. Okay so I’m gonna roll with the possibility that Professor Venomous isn’t actually lying about being Laserblast and he’s also Shadowy Figure. So here we go again lol:

I found it really suspicious how casually glorbs were glossed over in his flash back. He didn’t mention them once when he was talking about regaining his powers. Even though he clearly has some knowledge about them due to making a collar for Fink; which gives her a temporary power up whenever she inserts a glorb into it. And those orbs in the flashback are clearly modified glorbs, if you look inside the lab theres red, green, and blue pipe lines running along the walls.

Whatever he runs through these pipes modifies the glorbs and imbues them with a specific power. These orbs are kept in the similar canisters Shadowy Figure uses when he’s out collecting them. And yes, in every episode he’s in he carries a cylindrical container with the same green colored top:

His original source may have came from the same place we see in the episodes SF’s in. That big hole in the wall in his lab is a pipe that travels underground, it most likely connects directly to that place.

So going back to Professor Venomous, he clearly knows a thing or two about glorbs, so why doesn’t he use them personally? We never see him use them in the flashback either. But I guess you can make the argument that he didn’t invent the Turbo Collar until relatively recently. Although that doesn’t answer the question of why he’s not using one, or something similar, for himself now. He’s a former hero, he knows how to fight. (Edit: 7/31/19 I just wanted to change the wording in the last two sentences cuz it was a lil sloppy lol.)

Can it be because he can’t? Because the side effect for losing your powers is being unable to harness the energy in glorbs (I can’t remember if Greyman used them or not, I need to rewatch the POINT academy eps.)? Or the experiments he ran on himself caused some kind of abnormality in his biology so he is unable to use them?

Or maybe he can use glorb energy, but it has to be refined to a certain degree, and even then it can give him some issues. Like how he was tired in K.O. vs Fink, that could be a side effect from transforming into SF. 

Anyway, I can see why we’ve never seen him recreate the R/B/G orbs, because if he sells them or uses them, POINT can trace the technology back to him. And they’d be on his ass because they’ll think hes responsible for taking out Laserblast. 

Honestly though I think he still creates them in a secret lab somewhere (most likely in the sewers). And the reason why he skitters around in the shadows looking for glorbs instead of using the ones Boxman has is because BM most likely keeps tabs on his inventory. They are a rare resource he uses to build his robots. Here’s what BM says in “Villains Night Out”:

“Every robot needs a glorb, and since glorbs are rather hard to come by, I have to make sure that each one I have is used to its utmost efficiency”

So BM is definitely going to notice if someone is ciphering off his supply. That’s probably why SF is asking K.O. to bring glorbs to the sewers, Venomous is having difficulty finding glorbs and if he tries taking some out of Boxmans stash he’s going to notice something is up.

Actually... that might be the plot to “Let’s Get Shadowy”. Boxman teams up with the gang because some Ghoulish Weirdo keeps breaking into his place and taking his glorbs.

I think Venomous’ end goal isn’t just modifying glorbs though. I think his actual end goal is finding a way to make glorbs a renewable resource and mass produce them. He doesn’t just want to dominate the villain market, I think he wants to achieve “””world domination””” by being the sole provider of renewable glorbs and products that use glorb energy. 

I guess you might be wondering why he doesn’t just tell Boxman what he’s doing. Well, that’s because BM is going to want in on that plan, and someone as power hungry like Venomous isn’t going to be cool with that. He wants to be the most influential person on the planet and he’s not going to share that position with anyone.

It’s one thing to tell him he’s Laserblast, because that’s not going to put him in a disadvantage. What’s Boxman going to do? Tell POINT? As if any of them, or anyone else for that matter, would actually believe him? There’s nothing BM can do with that info to screw him over.

But yeah I think that might be what his plan is, but anyways these are just my 2 cents and you dont have to agree with me lol. I’ll add more Hot Galaxy Brain Takes to this post if I find anything interesting in my rewatch. See ya!

[letmeletmetrashyourlove]

Lucky Pt. 2

Part One HERE

Author’s Note: Part two WOOOO!

Although I somewhat promised Roger some alone time, we hadn’t been able to find it yet. With me going to work every day and with him either practicing or playing a gig every night, it always ended with us hanging out with the boys.

Not that I minded, I had managed to fit into the group just fine and had made quick friends of Freddie’s girlfriend, Mary. She took me shopping and threw a bunch of clothes at me while I was in the waiting room. I couldn’t exactly afford most of what she suggested I try on, so she was nice enough to use her employee discount to help me buy a denim skirt that was far more revealing than anything I normally wore.

Roger was coming out of his shell a bit more. Not so bashful now that he had figured out I would be sticking around. He gradually became more handsy, from an arm around my shoulder to around my waist to tucked into my rear pocket. His hand always holding mine or resting on my knee.

The relentless teasing from the boys kept up, which I adored. Roger, not so much. Every time Roger tried to pull me aside, we’d somehow end up back with the group, chatting and drinking to our heart’s content. Freddie had decided to call me Lucky. Roger must’ve revealed what I told him that morning I caught him leaving coffee for me, but Freddie played it off as me being their ‘lucky charm’.

It seemed that not long after I came to their show for the first time they started booking more gigs. I, of course, told Freddie it was because of his recent arrival that they grew more popular. But he denied it in a rare streak of humbleness.

I kept telling myself that one of these days I would wake up early enough to surprise Roger with coffee, but it never worked. No matter how early I woke up, there was a coffee at my doorstep. Every morning for the past two weeks. But not this morning. I checked as soon as I rolled out of bed. When I found it wasn’t there, I grabbed my purse off the table by the door and slipped on my sneakers before running to the elevator. I looked a mess, my hair sloppily piled on top of my head, a red imprint on my cheek from where I had been resting on my hand, and my oversized pajamas that had mysterious stains on them. Probably from chocolate and pizza sauce. As I entered the cafe, a familiar head of blonde hair came out from the crowd of people in line, two coffees in hand.

        “Dammit, Roger!” I shouted, probably louder than I should have.

His eyes fell on me as he jumped in surprise,

        “What!? Christ, you scared me!” He hollered, holding the cups out from his body as coffee sloshed out onto the pristine white tiles of the coffee shop.

        “I’ve been trying all week to beat you down here and I thought I had finally done it.” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

His eyes lit up as a bright smile grew across his face as handed me my coffee,

        “Sorry, love. Snooze ya lose.” He took a sip from his own coffee before wincing once he realized it was still scalding hot. He offered his arm to me, which I gladly took as we made the short trek from the cafe back to our apartments. We both paused outside our respective doors, leaning against the frame.

        “So, you surely can’t be waking up this early every morning just to buy me coffee,” I said, humming as I took my first sip.

        “And what if I was?” He quipped, tilting his head. Despite it being the early hours of the morning, he had a bright gleam in his eyes.

        “You’d be an idiot. Which you might be, regardless.” I retorted, running a hand through my hair in an attempt to smooth out the inevitable cowlicks that had formed from sleeping on my face.

He rolled his eyes as he tucked his free hand into his front pocket. His gaze shifted from me to his feet,

        “What? You up so early because you’re on the way home from a girl’s place?” I asked, only half joking.

He laughed, shaking his head,

        “Why would I go anywhere if my girl’s place is right next door?”

Ugh. Smooth. Disgustingly smooth. I tried to disguise the inevitable blushing of my cheeks by staring at my own feet and letting out a laugh. I shook my head before meeting his gaze again. It was filled with warmth and adoration as his tongue poked out between his teeth,

        “I’m studying biology. I have classes in the mornings. Which, I’m going to be late for.” He noted, glancing at his watch. He rushed forward to press a kiss to my temple before he opened the door to his apartment, grabbed his bag, and headed towards the elevator. I watched him go, offering me a bright smile as the doors closed.  

I was starting to wonder if keeping this job was worth it. Sure, I couldn’t afford to not have it, but not having a job had to be better than being slowly driven to insanity by an egomaniacal boss.

I trudged down the hallway to my apartment. My boss kept me three hours longer than he was supposed to and I doubted that I would see any extra pay for it. As I pulled out my keys, I spotted a note on the door scribbled on the back of a receipt.

                              The Star at 9. See you there -R

My watch told me it was already 8:30, and The Star was all the way across town. Roger had a terrible habit of not telling me about his gigs until the last minute. Although, some of the time, he didn’t know until the last minute either. Freddie was always going to bars and essentially begging the owners to let them play.  

I entered the apartment, taking off the shabby plaid skirt and matching jacket to replace it with the significantly shorter denim skirt Mary picked out and a plain white tee shirt. I snagged my jacket and the scarf Charlotte made me off the coat rack before heading down the hallway once again.

With Roger, I felt like I never had a moment to breathe, and I couldn’t love it more. It was fast-paced and somewhat reckless, a stark contrast from what it had been like before. While running back and forth to work constantly was getting the bills paid, it was exactly fulfilling.   

I hailed a cab and spent the next thirty minutes in traffic, and then the next fifteen trying to give the guy directions before I finally decided he was incompetent and that I could just walk the rest of the way. That was a decision I quickly came to regret as the skin on my legs was starting to go numb from the cold wind.

I made it, though, sighing in relief when I walked into the overcrowded bar and felt the heat surrounding me. The band was already playing, and I could see that nearly all the boys had their eyes scanning the crowd for me, except for Brian who was too busy giving eyes to some chick that was dancing off to the side of the stage.

I muscled my way through the crowd and to the front, letting out a whistle loud enough to catch their attention over the music. John did I little spin around while he played his bass, mouthing something to Roger along the lines of ‘I told you she’d come’. Roger replied with a sneer before his eyes met mine.

They were more than halfway through their set by the time I got there, I had heard it what seemed like thousands of times before and had the line up memorized. I mindlessly bopped around to the music through the remaining songs, hoping it would warm me up a bit. I cheered the loudest when they were finished and took their bow.

Roger immediately bounced off the stage, reaching his hand out for mine, but I was quickly shoved out of the way by a few of his fans. I staggered to the side as he tried his hardest to hide his annoyance as he talked to the girls.

        “Oh my god, Roger, you’re like soooo good at the drums, do you think you can teach me?” One of them slurred, making him laugh.

        “Not tonight, doll, sorry.” He retorted, squeezing between the girl and the stage to get to me. He pulled me into a hug, pressing a kiss to my temple. I blushed at the sudden show of affection, pulling out of the hug to look at him. A smile was plastered on his face as he grabbed my hand and started off in the bar's direction.

        “What’s got you in such a good mood?” I questioned, pinching his cheek.

He scrunched up his nose as he swatted at my hand,

        “Wasn’t sure if you were gonna make it. Glad you did.” He replied, reaching down for my hand. He led me over to the bar, hollering an order at the bartender before resting his elbow on the bar and staring over at me. He gave me a proper once-over, looking me up and down.

        “Hey, loverboy! Eyes here.” I snapped in his face, moving my fingers up to my eyes.

        “Sorry… That’s just… I’ve never seen that skirt before.” He replied.

        “You like it? Mary picked it out for me. She’s got such a good eye for this sort of thing.” I said, toying with the hem of the skirt.

        “Yeah, yeah, I’d say so.” He nodded enthusiastically, tongue swiping over his lower lip.

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the fact he was ogling me like a piece of meat. Though I couldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the attention. The bartender set the drinks on the bar beside him and Roger murmured a thank you before handing me a beer and taking a swig of his own.

        “How was work?” He asked, a genuine interest in his tone.

        “I’m would strangle my boss if I didn’t need the money,” I replied, taking a drink from my own bottle.

        “That bad, huh?” He asked.

        “Mhmm.” I hummed as I turned around to face the crowd, wanting to forget my shitty day, not talk about it.

        “Where’d everybody go?” I questioned, scanning the crowd as I took a sip from my drink.

        “Who cares? They’re big boys, they can take care of themselves.”

        “I just wanted to make sure Brian found that girl he was eye fucking while he was on stage,” I muttered against the rim of my bottle, making Roger laugh. I spent the next few minutes people watching, admiring how everybody moved with the music, watching the private conversations that began in the middle of the dance floor before moving off to the side. Suddenly, there were hands on my hips, hooking their fingers through the belt loops of my skirt and yanking me backward. My body slammed into Roger where he stood behind me, making me lose my balance for a moment. I grabbed at his hands where they rested on my waist to steady myself.

        “Hey!” I exclaimed, louder than I had intended to. A few of the men sitting at the bar glanced up from their drinks with an annoyed glare. I mouthed an apology as Roger tucked his head into the crook of my neck, nuzzling into my hair,

        “What’re you doing?” I laughed, bringing a hand up to rest on the back of his head to scrunch the loose waves in his hair.

        “You just smell really nice.” He replied, inhaling deeply and pulling me even closer against him, his thumb slipping under the waistline of my skirt.

I was about to whisper a warning to watch his hands before he lost them, but it was then that I noticed the burning gaze of a few women from a table not far from the bar. It was the girl Roger had avoided earlier and some of her friends. They sneered and whispered back and forth to each other before laughing. I didn’t have to hear them to know they were talking about me. I suddenly felt self-conscious.

Roger must’ve felt my body tense because he brought his hands to wrap around my midsection and gave me a jostle.

        “You okay?” He murmured in my ear.

I nodded quickly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and taking a large gulp of my drink. His hands dropped from my stomach and fell back to my hips before turning me around to face him.

He grabbed me by the cheeks and made me look at him. I attempted a smile, but it fell flat.

        “You’re not okay.” He concluded, scanning the crowd for any clue as to what was going on. His gaze shifted over my shoulder where the girls sat.

        “Hi, Roger!” One of them called in a sing-song tone.

        “Alright, come on. I’ve got shitty beer at my place, no need to drink it here.” He concluded, grabbing my drink and setting it down on the bar before placing his hand on my lower back and leading me out.

The ride in the taxi was awkwardly silent, Roger’s hand on my knee, thumb tapping to the beat of whatever song the driver had playing. Thankfully, the traffic on the way home was much better than on the way out. When the car stopped in front of the apartments, Roger pulled out a wad of cash, handing it to the driver before helping me out of the cab. He intertwined his fingers with mine, leading the way into the building and to the elevator.

        “You shouldn’t be worried, you know.” He murmured, glancing over at me and squeezing my hand.

        “Worried about what?” I asked, squeezing his hand in return. His gaze was softer than normal as he pulled my hand up to his mouth to press a kiss to it.

        “Anything.”

Instead of asking him to elaborate on what he meant, I simply nodded, glad to have some reassurance. The elevator opened and Roger led the way to his door, taking his keys from his pocket and unlocking it. He stepped in first, hand still in mine as I stayed out in the hallway.

        “Coming in?” He asked, giving me a gentle tug towards him as in invitation.

        “Yeah.” I smiled.

After he helped me shrug off my coat, he asked if I wanted a drink. I politely declined, taking in the sight of his apartment. It was tidier than I would’ve expected except for a few empty beer bottles on the coffee table. He returned a moment later with a beer in his hand,

        “Make yourself at home.” He said as he popped the cap off his beer and tossed it into the trash can by the counter.

Despite the two of us being unable to keep our eyes and hands off each other for the past few weeks, I suddenly felt uncertain. Almost every night he had asked me to come in and I said no. It was more than abundantly clear he wanted me here, so why did I feel so small and out of place? I had been standing motionless long enough for him to take notice and cock an eyebrow at me. I needed to at least do something other than stand around looking like a moron. My eyes continued to scan the apartment before they landed on his drum set. My mind harkened back to the bitchy girl at the bar,

        “Can I do the classic drunk girl move?” I questioned, grabbing his beer from his hand and taking a swig before handing it back.

        “Was that it?” He asked, noting that my red lipstick had stuck to the rim of the bottle before he took the last gulp.

I picked up one of his drumsticks from where they sat atop the snare drum. He let out a chuckle when he realized what I was doing.

        “Oh my god, Roger. You’re like soooooo good at the drums.” I mocked the girl we had seen in the bar earlier, “Can you show me how to play?”

He threw back his head and laughed before coming up behind me to sit on the stool. Whether it was the alcohol or just a burst of confidence, I couldn’t say, but he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me back to sit on his lap. His knee rested between my legs, my skirt riding up my thigh. We both pretended not to notice as he placed the other drumstick in my hand.

        “Okay, so,” He instructed, wrapping his arms around me and grabbing me softly by the forearms. The sensation of his breath across the back of my neck sent shivers down my spine and spread goosebumps across my skin. I silently prayed that he didn’t notice as he explained every part of the drum kit. He nudged my foot with his to rest on the pedal for the bass drum. He placed one hand in position over the snare and the other in position over one of the cymbals. His grip moved from my forearms to rest across my lower stomach, holding me steady on his knee.

        “Just pick a beat and alternate.”

I cautiously tapped the cymbal before giving the slightest tap to the snare, making him chuckle.

        “Hit it like you mean it.” He laughed in my ear.

I hit the cymbal the slightest bit harder, making him scoff.

        “What? I don’t want to wake up Charlotte.”

        “She’s 97 years old, I doubt she can even hear anymore.”

        “Oh no, she hears everything.” I told him, “One time I dropped my shampoo bottle in the shower and she called the landlord to come unlock my door because she thought I had fallen in the shower and cracked my head open.”

        “Really?”

I nodded,

        “If you ever notice the landlord looking at me weird, it’s because he burst in on me showering and singing Aretha Franklin at the top of my lungs.”  

He let out a full-bodied laugh,

As if on cue, there was a knock on the front door. Roger’s gaze met mine with shock for a moment before we both burst out laughing. I clasped my hand over my mouth,

        “If she knows I’m in here, she’ll kill you,” I uttered, only half joking.

        “Kill me? Why me?”

        “She thinks you’re a slut,” I replied, trying my hardest to say it with a straight face before letting out a laugh.

He laughed even harder at that, his face turning bright red. The knocking came again, making Roger groan as he placed his hands on my hips. He stood up, steadying me on the floor before making his way to his front door. He glanced out the peephole before looking over his shoulder and rolling his eyes at me. I stepped out of sight for a moment as he opened his door.

        “Hi, it’s Charlotte rig-” He began, but was cut off by the older woman.

        “What’s so funny in here?” She questioned.

Without even being able to see her, I knew her posture. Hands on her hips, one hip jutted out and her glare peeking out from behind her thick-framed glasses.

        “I uh… I have a friend over.” He replied,

        “Where?”

Charlotte wasn’t all there, and who could blame her? She was 97 years old and widowed by World War II, she didn’t have any children either. She had kind of adopted me, which I loved her for. But when I wasn’t around, she needed a way to keep busy. And her way of keeping busy was knowing an obscene amount about other people’s lives, whether or not she really knew the person. Roger wasn’t the only victim of the scrutiny, only the most recent.

        “She’s uh-” He began, only to be cut off once again.

        “She?”

        “Yes, she’s... in the bathroom.”

Silence fell for several moments and I hoped that Charlotte had dropped it and was getting ready to leave. That was until I remember that I draped my coat and the scarf her had given me over the couch in direct view of the front door. She must’ve noticed it at the same time,

        “Y/N!?” She shouted, her voice striking fear into my heart. Not fear that she would hurt me, no. Fear that she would be disappointed in me.

I grabbed the dish towel that hung on the oven door and pretended to be drying my hands with it to add credibility to Roger’s fib as I rounded the corner, not wanting her to think I was avoiding her.

        “Hey, Charlotte! What’s going on? Do you need something?”

She shot me a disapproving glare as she turned to go back across the hall into her apartment. She glanced over her shoulder once more before she closed the door behind her, followed by Roger closing his door. I felt a slight pang of guilt knowing I had upset her, but I quickly forgot it when Roger spoke up,

        “Where were we?”

He beckoned me back towards him by patting his thighs, an invitation to sit on his lap once more. I tossed the towel onto the kitchen counter before joining him. This time he was a little more insistent when I sat down, holding me a closer than before.

I once again alternating tapping the snare and the cymbal, finally somewhat getting my rhythm.

        “There you go.” He encouraged, tapping his foot to the beat and gently thrumming it against my thigh.

I continued to tap the beat before adding in the bass drum, tapping my foot on the pedal every so often. I became so engrossed in what I was doing that I hardly noticed his fingers toying with the hem of my skirt, although when I finally did, I played it nonchalant. It wasn’t until he was sliding it up a little higher that I took one of the drumsticks and smacked him on the hand with it.

        “Ow!” He whined, recoiling.

        “Don’t wanna prove to Charlotte that you’re a slut, do you?” I joked, turning over my shoulder to look at him. We were nose to nose, our breaths ghosting over each other’s skin. His gaze shifted from my eyes to my lips as he leaned in to kiss me. The drumsticks dropped from my hands, tumbling to the floor and rolling across it until it hit my foot.

The angle was awkward, his teeth knocked against mine making us both pause to laugh. I make it easier on him, I stood up from his lap and turned around so I was straddling him. My skirt pushed up even higher than before, much to his delight as he took a handful of my thigh. His other hand rested below my jaw, holding me against him. I clasped his face with both hands, both of them trembling slightly. We both pulled away breathless, eyes studying each other’s faces for a reaction. His eyes were half-lidded as he stared at me, running a hand through my hair. His chest rose and fell heavily as he stared at me, hand still massaging my thighs. My lipstick had smeared all over his mouth and I was certain it had smeared all over mine as well.

I wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever, but as his hands traveled up the back of my shirt, I quickly realized that this was probably a bad idea. If Charlotte was right in saying he had a new girl in here every other night, maybe I was just another one of those new girls. Another notch in his belt. I let out a sigh, licking my thumb and bringing it up to his mouth. I wiped away the lipstick before my gaze met his.

        “I should go.” I murmured. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me, but I had to know he wasn’t just going to dump me after getting what he wanted.

His expression was like a child you had just told that Santa wasn’t real. His entire face dropped as he stared at me.

        “Why… Was that… Was that not okay… or?” His hands quickly came to rest on my lower back rather than roving all over like they had been doing before.

        “No. No, Rog. It was great, really. I just… I mean… work tomorrow and uh… I’ve still got some chores to do before I go to bed an-”  It wasn’t entirely the truth, but it wasn’t a lie either.

        “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” He breathed, his grasp moved from my thighs to my lower back, rubbing it up and down, “I won’t keep you.”

I felt bad for leaving, but Charlotte was always right about people and I had no reason not to trust her judgment here. I retreated from his lap, straightening my skirt as I stood up. He handed me my jacket and scarf after I had slipped my boots back on.

        “Thanks for the uh… lesson.” I nodded towards the drum kit.

        “My pleasure.” He replied, tucking his hands into his front pockets as I made my way towards his door.  His gaze rested on his feet as I opened it.

        “Hey, Rog?” I called.

He perked up at the sound of his name, stepping closer to the door. I pressed a kiss to his cheek, reassurance I would be back.

        “Night.” I murmured.

        “Night.” He returned.

Just as I opened the door to my apartment, I heard the deadbolt on Charlotte’s come undone. I let out a sigh, preparing myself for the bombardment I was about to receive. I thought about stepping into my apartment and slamming the door, but then I would never hear the end of it.

But to my surprise, the deadbolt clicked once again, telling me she had changed her mind. Whether that was a good sign or a bad sign, I didn’t know, but I was thankful I wouldn’t be dealing with her interrogation tonight.